how to write a groom speech uk

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How to Write The Perfect Groom’s Speech (With Examples)

Author: Hollie Bond

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How to Write a Grooms Speech

Funny groom's speech ideas
, emotional groom's speech ideas, unusual groom's speech ideas
, famous groom's speech ideas.

No idea where to start when it comes to making a speech on your big day? We’ve compiled all the best tips and inspiration to help you write and deliver the best groom’s speech ever.

The groom’s speech is always a highlight at a wedding. It’s a chance for guests to hear all the romantic and heartfelt sentiments that you, as a newlywed, will be experiencing.

It’s also a feel-good part of the day where you get to acknowledge all your guests and thank individuals who have helped you bring this special day together. Everyone in the ‘audience’ will be friends and family, so put any public speaking nerves aside, as everyone will be willing you on to do your best and if you stumble over your words or well up when you’re talking about your new wife or husband – well, they’ll just love you even more!

We’ve rounded up 40 of the best groom’s speech ideas, with inspiration for funny, emotional, and unusual speeches, plus examples from famous grooms, to help you write your own Oscar-worthy speech.

What should the groom say in his speech?

Good news! The groom’s speech is one of the easiest speeches to write and deliver as it is essentially just one big thank you.

A groom’s speech should focus on thanking everyone who has helped make the wedding day special including the mother and father of the bride (or equivalent), the guests, his own parents, the best man, the bridesmaids, ushers, and anyone else who has contributed to the wedding.

The other main focus of the groom’s speech is to lavish praise and compliments on his new wife (or groom) and to tell them how happy he is to be married. Finally, the groom should raise a toast to his new wife or husband.

How long should a groom’s speech be?

Any speech at a wedding, including the groom’s speech, should be no longer than ten minutes. When written down this is approximately 1500 words, but make sure to time yourself before the big day in case you’re a particularly slow or fast speaker.

Ten minutes is the ideal length to get across everything you need to say, but not so long that your guests get bored and start to fidget. If you’re not a confident speaker you can always just say a few lines lasting a couple of minutes.

Less is definitely more when it comes to speeches. That said, if it’s too short you could sound flippant! Anywhere between five and ten minutes and you’re in safe territory.

1. Don’t be too formal

Unless you’re known for your love of a bit of pomp and circumstance then you don’t suddenly have to become the master of all things etiquette and stuffy speech-making just because it’s your wedding day. Your guests will want to hear you speak in your usual way, and as long as you cover the expected formalities like thanking everyone for coming, both sets of parents, the bridal party, and anyone who went above and beyond to help you with something like making a cake, then you don’t have to worry about anything else.

2. Focus on the start

If you can get guests smiling from the very beginning of the speech, then both you and your guests will feel relaxed and enjoy the rest of it. Have a think about something humorous that specifically relates to your guests or wedding situation rather than an obvious/ heard-100-times-before gag. Perhaps you’re known for your non-stop chatter, so you could open with “I know you’re all thinking you should take a loo break before I start talking, but I promise I’ll keep this as short (as I can!)…”

3. Don’t forget the main purpose of the speech

A romantic and heartfelt ode to the person you’ve just married should be the main focus of this speech. Try to avoid just saying empty words that anyone could say like “she/he is wonderful, beautiful, kind” etc. Think of specific things that your other half has done that makes you proud/ really love them/ that makes them unique. Anecdotes and stories that highlight a personal trait are the best way to do this.

4. Be romantic, not cheesy

Try not to fall into the trap of sounding like a compilation of all the lines you might find inside a cheesy Valentine’s Day card. Instead of “I’m so lucky to have found you” think about “My parents always told me nothing good would come of always being late, but I’m so glad to say I proved them wrong. I missed my train (as usual) that fateful day and the best thing ever came out of it… you.” Or a simple list of all the things that you particularly love about your partner, from the way they constantly fiddle with their hair to the way they talk to your dog like it’s a human.

5. Don’t give out gifts

This isn’t prize-giving at school and giving out weddinggifts to bridesmaids and ushers etc. will just take up valuable partying time. Give your bridal party their gifts in the morning when you’re all getting ready as it’ll be more personal in private.

6. Think about timing

A speech around the 7 – 10 minutes mark is considered the perfect amount of time for a groom’s speech (written down that’s about 1200 – 1400 words). Any less and you’ll sound a bit flippant. Any more and guests will start getting bored.

7. Don’t go into massive amounts of detail

We all know someone that tells a story as intricate and descriptive as a Tolstoy novel and how we automatically glaze over as soon as they start speaking. Don’t be that person. Your guests don’t want War and Peace – they want a nice easy to listen to a speech that doesn’t mentally challenge them, especially once they’re a few drinks down.

8. Find the perfect quote

If you’re not a wordsmith, let someone else more qualified sum up your feelings for you. There are plenty of amazing quotes from authors and famous orators out there and one or two of them may be exactly what you need to succinctly put all your feelings about the day and your partner into one neat sentence. Just make sure to acknowledge the original author!

9. Give your partner a promise

A lovely way to be funny and also heartfelt at the same time is to make a promise or two to your partner in front of your guests. Don’t just repeat your vows here, promise something that is unique to her/him. Perhaps she’s an avid rock climber and you’re more of a couch potato? Promise you’ll learn to love her crazy hobby. Maybe you’re not exactly Heston Blumenthal in the kitchen? Promise you’ll learn to cook your partner more than beans on burnt toast. Perhaps she/he is the world’s greatest Swiftie. Promise you’ll learn the lyrics to all their favourite Taylor Swift songs… you get the idea.

10. Prepare the delivery

The biggest mistake you can make is to write a great speech on paper and then not read it out loud before the big day. You need to practice talking slowly and confidently and leaving little pauses after funny bits (for any of the slower guests to get it!). Also, some written sentences don’t sound great when spoken, so reading out loud will help you to iron out any clunky syntax. Plus, you’ll want to know the speech almost by heart so that you don’t have your head in a piece of paper reading word-for-word on the day. Eye contact with your guests is one of the most important parts of delivering a successful speech.

You don’t have to be the next Michael McIntyre, but giving your guests a giggle and making them smile is the quickest way to make both them and you feel at ease with the speech.

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have to pepper your speech with gags and silly one-liners to make it funny. Instead, just focus on things that are unique to you as a couple or for the audience (perhaps the region you’re from for example) and have a bit of fun at your/ their expense. Be careful not to reference something that only a few members of the audience will understand as that will very quickly alienate your other guests.

Here are ten funny speech ideas to take inspiration from:

Focus on your differences

Comparing your differences can be an easy way to make the guests smile. Are you obsessively tidy and your new partner a bit of a slob perhaps? Can you cook like a pro while they can’t even heat soup without burning the place down? Whatever your differences, exaggerate them and make a joke out of them to get guests giggling.

Tell the crowd something they don’t know

Do you know some funny things about your bride/groom’s past that others in the audience might not? Now’s a good time to reveal that she/he did some hilarious hobbies or geeky things as a child. Perhaps they have a funny secret crush or can do a really odd trick.

Exaggerate your weaknesses

Putting yourself down and acknowledging something everyone knows about you can be a good way to make guests smile. E.g. “Would you believe it? The bride/ groom has finally given up holding out for Ryan Gosling and decided a bald, beer-swilling Insurance Broker from Newcastle is a better option instead.”

Here’s a good example of a funny, self-deprecating groom’s speech:

Make a joke about the wedding itself

“Before I begin, please can we ensure that all the aisles and fire exits are kept clear throughout the reception. There’s a medical team waiting outside the building and I’d like them to have a clear run when my in-laws are presented with the final bill.”

“I’d like to thank Mastercard and Visa, without whom this would never have been possible. My wife and I will be forever in their debt.”

Mother-in-law jokes

These always go down well if you actually get on with her! Reference something unique to your mother in law like her shopping obsession or how long she takes to get ready perhaps. Or keep it classic with: “I’ve been told that this is usually one of the only times in a man’s life when he can be around his wife/husband and mother-in-law and not be interrupted – so hang in there, I’m going to take full advantage.”

“In [in-law’s names], I have found the perfect in-laws. I always cringe when I hear jokes about difficult mothers-in-law because my own experience has been far from that stereotype. [Turn to in-laws and whisper audibly] Did I read that right? Please don’t hurt me…”

Tell a story

If your first date, engagement or the time you asked the in-laws if you could marry their daughter/ son has a funny element to it, go ahead and tell the story. Just remember not to kill the humour with too many details.

Talk about your partner’s quirks

Does your wife/ husband have any weird habits? Divulge a few to the guests but make it romantic by saying how much you love her/him even though they… still get drunk after one glass of wine/ still go to bed with a teddy bear at the age of 33/ always get the words to songs wrong/ always have to be the last person on the dance floor even when the lights come up…

Make the thank yous funny

Instead of a boring list of thank yous, try and inject a bit of fun. For example: “I’d like to thank my mother in law for passing on such wonderful traits to her daughter; her kindness, her humour, though unfortunately, an unwavering support for Arsenal has also slipped down the genetic line.”

Trip the guests up

Everyone expects the first line of the groom’s speech to mention his new wife/ husband. Momentarily confuse them with a sentence like this: “My ex-girlfriend/ boyfriend and I would like to thank you all for coming today” – and then pause while they work it out and laugh.

Use props or videos

If there’s a funny prop or a video that you can show during the speech go for it, plus holding something or giving yourself a break in video form can help stop the nerves.

Leave guests guessing

It’s fine to reference the stag do , but don’t tell a long and boring story about something that happened while you were on it. That’ll only be funny to the stags. It’s best to mention something and leave the end of the story untold as a cliff-hanger so that guests can fill in the blanks with all manner of funny thoughts.

As a groom, you have free reign to get emotional and if you’re not normally an emotional person it will really surprise and delight guests as they will realise just how much the day and marrying your loved one means to you.

You don’t want to get too over the top though and make your guests feel uncomfortable. Keep the really mushy stuff for your bride or groom on your honeymoon and instead focus on the sort of emotional sentiments that will make guests smile.

Here are some ideas for how to make your groom’s speech just the right amount of emotional:

Look guests in the eye

The quickest way to get guests to buy into what you’re saying and to feel the raw emotion of your words is by looking them in the eyes as you deliver each sentence. If you’ve had a difficult time in the run-up to the wedding and are really grateful for the support they’ve all shown, say so while looking sincerely at the guests you really want to show your gratitude to.

Put your heart into the thank yous

If you don’t want to make the thank yous funny or witty, how about making them emotional by not just thanking the person for what they did, but by explaining how much it meant to you.

Mention absent friends

If a member of your family or a friend isn’t at your wedding and is greatly missed then make sure to raise a toast to their memory. You don’t want to be morbid, but a few words about how much the person/ people meant to you both and how much you miss them, followed by inviting all guests to raise a toast to them is a lovely emotional gesture.

Let yourself feel the emotion

If you feel yourself welling up don’t stop the emotion – guests won’t mind if your voice breaks a bit or if you have to take a deep breath. In fact, it just shows how much the words actually mean to you.

Be creative when it comes to describing your partner

If you want to inject emotion into your speech, don’t just say sentences that could describe any bride/ groom. Think specifically about your partner and be poetic when you talk about them and it will be much more sincere than just saying: “My new wide is beautiful” or “My husband is kind”. Here’s a lovely example from a groom’s speech about how to reference your new spouse:

Want to make sure your speech is unforgettable? Make it unusual and unique with some of these stand-out suggestions…

Rap the speech

Got a hidden talent for rapping (or if you don’t it can still be hilarious), then why not attempt to rap the speech instead. You could do part of it normally, before breaking out into a fun rap perhaps.

Sing the speech

Got a good set of pipes on you? How about singing your speech instead? Choose a famous song and then write personalised lyrics to fit. You can make it funny or heartfelt – whatever suits your personality best. Having the words on PowerPoint beside you can help in case some guests miss the words.

Write your speech on blackboards around the room

If the idea of public speaking really is too much for you and threatens to ruin your whole wedding day, why not write it up on blackboards that can be displayed around the venue for guests to read instead. You could even pre-record a video of you reading the speech too. Guests who know and love you will appreciate the effort and know how stressful making a speech in person would be for you.

Speak in a different language

Are you marrying someone who is originally from another country and has another language that you don’t speak? Impress both your new wife or husband and especially their family members who make not speak your language by learning some lines in secret in their language. Starting the speech in English for example before changing seamlessly into French will wow your audience and be very emotional for your new partner.

Get other people to do it for you

Track down important guests who can’t make it to the wedding or some famous people if you can and ask them to say something special that you can record and play as part of the speech.

Borrow the words

If you don’t want to make a traditional groom’s speech, how about performing a poem or reading out the lyrics to a song that means a lot to you as a couple (just don’t make it as awkward as Pam and Mick’s rendition in Gavin & Stacey!)

Write a story

Why not make your groom’s speech sound like the start of a novel or children’s story in a ‘once upon a time’ format, but insert yourself and your new spouse as the main characters. After all, your wedding is part of your love story and you can end your speech with a toast to your happily ever after.

Get your guests involved

Don’t like the idea of all eyes being on you? Surprise your wife/ husband by prepping guests beforehand to each say a sentence. Or you can encourage audience participation by turning your speech into a quiz about you as a couple/ the wedding day.

Perform a musical mash-up

Make it themed

If your bride or groom has a love for something specific, theme your entire speech around it. Take these maids of honour who did a Disney medley as an example:

Tom Fletcher from band McFly did one of the most famous and unusual groom’s speeches of all time. If you can hold a tune why not replicate his speech with your own song…

Nick Jonas went down the heartfelt route for his groom’s speech at his wedding to Priyanka Chopra in 2018 and nailed the thank you to his new mother in law.

Mark Wright from TOWIE gave way to the tears when talking about new wife Michelle Keegan at their wedding: “Not only are you beautiful, but you are one of the most incredible people I have ever met. You truly are sensational in every single way.” Take inspiration from his touching way to be emotional without making everyone feel awkward.

Not a groom’s speech, but you could definitely steal the idea from the best man speech of Danny McKenzie at footballer Jamie Milligan’s wedding – he pretended he had forgotten the speech and then played a video that “showed” him racing through fields and various places James Bond-style to retrieve it…

Hollie Bond

Hollie is a lifestyle journalist with over ten years’ experience working in the wedding industry as Lifestyle Editor for You & Your Wedding magazine Also a Regional Editor for Muddy Stilettos, Hollie has written for Square Meal magazine, Family History Monthly, BBC History magazine and Homes & Antiques. In her spare time you can find Hollie in a dance studio practising ballet…

Learn more about Hollie Bond

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The Ultimate Guide To Writing A Groom’s Speech

• Updated on November 10, 2018

Your wedding day is ideally one of the most joyous and enjoyable days you will ever experience. Giving your speech as the groom can be a moment to thank those you love and celebrate the person you have married.

Even with the best preparation, standing up and seeing a hundred pairs of eyes and the wedding cinematographer starting back at you can make you feel suddenly uneasy.

Fortunately, it is possible to deliver a fantastic groom’s speech that is memorable for all the right reasons. Read through this guide that will answer a few popular questions and offer some groom speech tips.

This will allow you to confidently write your groom’s speech and even enjoy delivering it!

Frequently Asked Questions About the Groom’s Speech

There are a lot of questions that grooms wish they could have asked before writing the groom’s speech. Here is a sampling of the most popular questions grooms have about the speech itself.

How Long Should my Speech Last?

Aim for 10 minutes from the time you get introduced to the time you are sitting down after finishing your speech. This will allow about eight minutes of “talk” time, hopefully, interrupted by laughter or some applause here and there. This length will allow your speech to come across as well thought out, yet not drag on.

Do Details Matter?

Keep the details light to ensure your guests do not feel left out of your stories. Simply put, the couple your spouse invited from work is not going to understand your “inside” stories about your third groomsman.

What if I Get Nervous?

Join the club! Even the best public speakers have an inkling of stage fright before speaking. Use this guide to prepare and write a fantastic speech.

Pro Tip: Curb your urge to drink alcohol to deal with nerves. It will not end well. To better prepare for your big speech, record yourself and watch it back a few times to fix any glaring issues ahead of time.

Who Gets Included in the Speech?

Many groom’s speeches feature a 15-minute recital thanking virtually everyone at the wedding. To keep it concise, keep the “thank you” moments to this simple list prior to focusing on your partner:

– A global “Thank You” to the guests – Those that raised you – Those that raised your partner – The best man and groomsmen – The maid of honor and bridesmaids – Your partner

How Do I Avoid Embarrassing My Spouse with Too Much Detail?

Just avoid the details, obviously. Ideally, you will spend at least half of your speech talking about your partner. Rather than opening on the typical remarks about how you love your partner, which everyone would assume, speak of the nuances that attracted you to your partner.

Your guests will appreciate hearing the real side of your relationship and a couple of stories about notable moments in your relationship are far more entertaining than a list of attributes you admire in your spouse.

Is it Appropriate to Include Humor?

Many grooms have concerns that the speech will come across as insincere if humor is utilized. Your guests, however, would prefer to enjoy the speech. Of course, there should be moments of emotion, but it is recommended not to make it an attempt to make everyone cry. If humor comes naturally to you, then it should come across in your speech.

Your Groom’s Speech Tip Sheet

Writing a speech can be a challenge, no less one that all your closest friends, family, and your lifelong partner will hear. Oh, and don’t forget that wedding cinematographer recording every word of it!

This simple list of tips should help you get on your way to writing the best groom’s speech your friends and family have ever heard. While there is no set “order” to mention people in your speech, you will notice a natural order in this list.

• Your Guests Come First

Remember, you only have around eight minutes, so you cannot thank everyone individually. This is the time to thank all your guests for attending and supporting you and your spouse on this day.

If there is a distinguished guest that could not make it and sent along words of wisdom or encouragement, you can choose to read them aloud at this moment.

• Family Time

Spend some time thanking both families for their roles in your lives. It is vital to remember that you should spend equivalent time on your family and the family of your spouse. It is not uncommon for a groom to spend twice as much time on the family of the spouse. However, both families should receive an equal amount of “love” during your speech.

• The Best Man – And a Warning

At this point in your speech, it is typical to address the best man and your groomsmen. Traditionally, the best man will give a raucous speech that attempts to demean you in some loving way. If you can figure out what his jabs might be, you can get ahead of them in this moment.

Pro Tip: If your best man can grow a little inappropriate at times, offer to help him “practice” his speech ahead of time. This could give you the opportunity to edit as needed.

• The Maid of Honor and Bridesmaids – a Break with Tradition

If you are trying to keep the speech as traditional as possible, then you should reverse these last two steps. Many groom speech tips suggest ending your speech with “To the Bridesmaids” after thanking them for their services to your spouse. However, I recommend your spouse be the last one to receive your attention.

• To Your Spouse With Love

This is the moment of truth. You should be prepared to spend several minutes showing your appreciation for your new spouse. This is not a time to run down a list of obvious things you love about your spouse.

Take the time to remember some moments during your relationship that sealed your love and describe those times to your guests.

Now Take a Deep Breath and Give a Great Speech

You can do this. You have taken the time to write a speech and practice it. Take a deep breath before standing up and delivering the best groom’s speech anyone has ever heard.

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The ultimate groom speech guide

The most important speech you’ll ever make.

The Groom Speech is a really busy speech. There are a lot of bases to hit – you’ve got all the acknowledgements, thanks and tributes, and if you’re not careful it can easily unravel into one long procession of thanking people, and several hours of your life you’ll never get back. So, things to remember;

It’s an amazing opportunity to say lovely things about people who are, or have been, important in your life, and you really need to make the most of it, because whilst it’s 10 minutes or so on the day, it’s something that will stick with you for the rest of your days, and so getting it right is very important.

You need to make all those thanks, acknowledgements and welcomes, in the most creative and entertaining way possible, and the magic ingredient is humour. If you can make people laugh in an original and personal way, they will love you for it and listen to everything you’ve got to say, and it acts as a perfect balance for some of the more profound things you might like to say.

On this page I’ve written out pretty much every idea, hints and tips that you’re ever going to need to write a really great groom speech.

Quick Links

Opening lines.

• Special Thanks

Absent Friends

Groom's parents.

• Bride's Parents
• Bridesmaids

Closing Lines

• Divorce Parents
• Marrying Across Nations

The devil is in the details

• Lead the Way
• Stag Weekend

Some really bad ideas

How to write a great groom speech.

Here’s a short video with all my hints and tips for writing a great groom speech. I’ve expanded on those thoughts and ideas on this page to give you the complete guide to writing your own.

This is very straightforward. I am not a fan of clichés in wedding speeches and avoid them as much as possible, with one notable exception, and that’s the opening lines of the groom speech. There really is no better way to kick off the speech and to get people cheering from the beginning, than to welcome everyone on behalf of ‘my wife and I’. It works every single time, and anyone looking to better it, really is trying too hard to be different, sometimes, and only very rarely, the dusty old wedding clichés get it spot on.

“Good afternoon everyone…on behalf of my wife and I…thanks you all so much for being here with us, and making to day today even more special….even the best man Dave”

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen, it is so wonderful to have you all here with us today, it really does mean a great deal to us both…I’m just glad that the best man Dave made it here in one piece…because the last thing I heard his full time carers weren’t going to release him”

The structure of a groom speech is really important, because without a clear framework, it can all too soon become a rambling mess. Where people usually go wrong is to keep flitting back and forwards with the same ideas – once you’ve mentioned someone, then you should really keep moving on to different areas. Don’t forget, you’ve only got limited time up there before you out stay your welcome.

  The structure can be very basic. The beginning of the speech should of course, be the welcome, and then you can include thanks to anyone that’s really helped out. Avoid going straight into talking about your bride, as in my opinion and experience, the speech should always build towards her part in the latter stages. Once you’ve got the ‘admin’ bits of the speech covered, you can then include a toast to those no longer with us.

That brings us to the next part of the structure which is all about the important people. This should include:

• both sets of parents.
• Bridesmaids.  

Things to remember:

• You need to keep this fairly punchy and resist going into too much detail, so make every sentence count. Yes, it would be great to talk about the ushers in detail, but you simply haven’t got the time.
• You need to come up with a way of summarising their impact on your life in a really creative, efficient, and preferably funny way.  
• This is also true of the best man. Many grooms write as much about their best man as they do their brand new wife, so check your world count and adjust accordingly.  
• There is usually an expectation from the bride to lay out in detail her various relationships with the bridesmaids. Just keep in mind that when it comes to a groom speech, less is always more.
• The final part of the structure is all about the bride, and what you simply have to focus on here, is avoiding the trap of saying the same thing in about 3 different ways. This should include how you met, first dates, and how your relationship developed, and what she means to you.

Special thanks

I like to include any thanking that needs to be done at the top of the speech and to get it out of the way as early as possible.  

• These thanks should only ever be reserved for friends and family that have really helped you out with the wedding plans and/or on the day.
• If possible group them together so you’re not reading out a list of individual thanks. If you do attempt to do this it’s going to be very tedious to listen to, lose all impact and really start to rack up the word count.  
• Whatever you do don’t be tempted to start thanking the venue, the caterers, photographer etc. They are all being paid handsomely, and really, they should be thanking you!

“I would like to thank Uncle Dave for coming all the way from Australia to the UK…which, let’s face it, is just like Australia but with slightly more swimming gold medals and slightly fewer blokes with non ironic mullets”

“I would really like to thank Mary for all her hard work making our cake, and for Cassie for making all the beautiful bridesmaids dresses, thanks to them you haven’t had to look at, or eat anything or look at anything that I’ve been responsible for which can only be a good thing. I have on the other hand been responsible for the free bar which I’m not saying is as good as a dress…but it’s a pretty close second.”

Some people go to extraordinary efforts and expense to be make it to weddings on the other side of the world, and quite rightly that should be publicly recognised in the groom speech. You should try to group these together as much as possible, so if you’ve got several different guests coming all the way from New York, put them under one umbrella and avoid thanking them individually. It’s also an opportunity to have some fun with where they’ve come from and where the wedding is, so a comparison between Los Angeles and Stevenage is ripe for the picking. Maybe as a pay off you could offer some way in which all that effort is going to be worthwhile such as the free bar/meal/watching you dance.

‘Don’t worry uncle Dave your carbon footprint all becomes worthwhile when you see me dancing later on”

“I would like to thank Dave for coming all the way from New York, not saying that Dave’s usually late but to get him here on time we actually told him the wedding was last week.”

There should only be one absent friends toast in the series of wedding speeches, and that’s usually taken care of by the groom. I like to put the absent friend’s toast towards the start of the speech because you want to end on a positive, celebratory note and not to bring things down.

It all depends on how close your relationship was with friends and family that have passed away, but obviously the closer you were, the more detail you’re going to put into this section. Parents who have died, obviously deserve a really special mention, and as difficult as it may be, you’re still going to have to treat this as an overview, and don’t be tempted to go into too much detail. The day is about one person: the bride, and you need to keep the spotlight on her – in other words don’t write a mini eulogy.

“Unfortunately, my father cannot be with us today. He was a much loved family man, son, uncle and friend to many, and he is missed greatly every day.”

This is pretty much the only time in your life that you’re going to stand up and tell a room full of people what amazing parents you have, and what a great job they’ve done, so don’t blow it.  

• You need to say as succinctly as possible how much you love and respect them for the years of sacrifice, hard work and generally putting up with you. Hopefully, you’re only going to get one stab at this, so chose your words carefully.
• Again, recounting specific stories here really eats into the words, and I would only ever use one if it had a killer punchline, and keep the whole thing down to a couple of punchy sentences.
• Talking about your parents is always fertile ground for having some fun, and will balance out the more heartfelt things you might like to say, so what is it that you have, or haven’t, inherited from your parents, and how can you make that funny?

“Dad, I would like to thank you for passing on your brains…well, I say thank you but as they only led me to becoming an estate agent, the juries out as to exactly how useful they really have been.”

“Dad, thanks for the hair genetics, you really shouldn’t have. I mean you REALLY shouldn’t have.”

The Bride's Parents

What you’re looking to do here is achieve roughly the same world count for both sets of parents. Focussing on one set of parents is the kind of thing that really sticks out in a speech, and usually grooms are guilty of giving their new in laws the big up, and skimping on their own mum and dad, so make sure it’s even.  

• Here you talk about how they’ve welcomed you into their family, and what it is about them that you love so much.  
• Try to draw parallels between the people they are, the way they raised their daughter and the person she is today.
• If there are specific times you’ve shared together that really mean something, then here’s where to add them in.
• If there’s any conflict between you and either your parents and/or the bride’s, then just glide over it. Don’t use the speech as attempt to point score, as it will only backfire.

The Best Man

I much prefer to handle the best man in the middle of the speech and avoid any clumsy handover at the end, because I believe the conclusion of your speech should be all about the bride. You need to say what a great friend/brother he has been and how much better your life has been for having him in it. This isn’t to be taken lightly, best men are appointed because of their close connection, and it’s the only time you’re ever going to get to let everyone know what he means to you, so make the most of it. Then you need to find a way of having some fun with his character and exploiting some of his weaknesses etc. that might suggest why his judgment could be poor.

“Jake is an estate agent, he’s paid to tell lies, so prepare yourself for some of his most creative work yet!”

“It should be noted that Dave is a Sunderland fan and so has never been amongst a crowd of happy people before and will probably react by creating controversy just s he can feel comfortable again.”

It’s groomsmen in the US and Australia, and ushers in Europe, but they all do the same job: support the groom in the run up to the wedding and ion the big day itself. When you’re thanking ushers keep it general, light and funny, and please don’t find things to say about each and every one, otherwise we’re going to be here all day. This should be fun as well, so if there’s a way of collectively having a laugh with them, exploit it. If you are going to mention the stag weekend or bachelor party, and it’s not something I’d recommend, then do it here, and go light on detail.

The Bridesmaids

It’s your job to talk about and toast the bridesmaids, not the best man. You need to mention them by name, and say what a great group of friends/sisters they have been and how great it is that you’ve got them in your life as well. You could thank them for organising the hen weekend, and say what a culturally enriching experience that was for all concerned. If this involves sisters you should say how amazing it is to now be related…even if you don’t mean it! The toast at the end is the only toast that the groom has to make.

‘Sarah, you are an amazing sister to Jane, and I am so happy that we are now officially family…you don’t have to agree but at least I come with access to free plant machinery hire”

“ladies you all look absolutely amazing, the facts that there are seven of you, and one looks quite grumpy is in no way going to lead me make any Disney comparisons”

This is the conclusion of the speech and in reality, should make up about 30% of the total word count. In these words, you need to describe how you met, what an incredible positive impact she’s had on your life, what her character is like, what she means to you and how you proposed.  

There is a lot to fit in there, and these words will stay with you for life, so make what you say really count. On the other hand, you can’t be too gushy, because that can come across as a little clumsy too. Think about what makes her character unique in your eyes; what is it about your wife that makes her the person you want to share your life with? In these words you could include some short anecdotes of the times you’ve shared so far that highlight her character, passions and unique sense of humour.  

This cannot be one huge chunk of emotion, there needs to be light and shade, funny ideas and observations about your new wife always go down well, and you should sprinkle these throughout. A common mistake is to repeat what you’ve already said but in a slightly different way. So, if you’ve said how much you love her in one way, then that’s enough.

The Final Toast – You’re looking to finish the speech in the most succinct way possible so don’t drag it out too long. I always avoid toasting the bride in isolation, it’s never felt right and I think in the celebration of marriage only toasting one half is a little weird. Instead, just make it a general health/happiness toast and you’re done.

The closing lines in a groom speech are a contentious issue, and I’ve always diverted from tradition. The usual status quo when it comes to the closing lines in a groom speech, is to then hand over to your best man, and this for me, is getting it completely wrong.

The best man should have already been mentioned, the last sentiment and words you should say has to be all about your bride, so why make the best man the final part? Forget handing over to him, and leave at a toast to the future. Everyone knows he’s on next, and many weddings have an MC to remind them.

Other things to consider

Delivering the speech, divorced parents.

This is a really common tricky area, and on that needs to be handled very carefully especially if new partners are involved. Take them one at a time and make sure you give each parent an equal measure. If their new partners have been around for a long time and have had a big impact on your life, then this needs to be recognised.

I usually start with the father, but with Jewish weddings you should probably start with the mother. What you’re looking to do is not give any opportunity for inequality, so don’t wax lyrical about your dad’s new partner and go light on your mum – the ramifications of this speech will last for many years. If either parent has a very new partner on the scene, then it’s best to just omit them altogether.

This is a hugely important ingredient to any really great groom speech. If you make people laugh, they’ll love you for it and listen to everything you’ve got to say, and it acts as the perfect balance to some of the more profound things you might like to say. This should be an entertaining speech with some pretty big messages wrapped up in it – the entertainment factor keeps people interested because there’s only so much emotion people can take.  

However, when it comes to jokes and comedy, I’m not talking about the scripted gags you’ll find on the internet, this is about working out how to make situations and events in your life funny when you’re introducing people and thanking them. Work out what it is that’s funny about your new father in law and have some fun with it. What is it that your new wife doesn’t like about you? How can you exploit your best man’s character flaws? There’s comedy gold out there, you just have to look for it!

Many grooms see the speech as an opportunity to dish out a little treat to people that have helped and who also mean a lot to them, unfortunately it’s one of the most counterproductive things you can do in a speech. Making the whole room twiddle their thumbs whilst various people make their way up to the top table to collect tankards etc. not only makes the speech unbearably long, but also it stops it dead in its tracks.

Forward momentum is the key to a great speech and the last thing you want to do is have to get everyone back on board again. I always recommend handing out the gifts in a private moment on the morning of the wedding.

Marrying across nations

So many weddings involve the coming together of different nationalities and cultures, which adds extra fun and excitement to an already amazing day, but it can also provide a few challenges when it comes language barriers. I have written for countless grooms in this position, and here’s what I recommend:

• Don’t attempt a dual translation of the speech in real time. It will unravel into a 40 minute marathon, and be extremely tedious for everyone.
• Make the majority of the speech in your native language, but have two well crafted pieces you say in your wife’s language to top and tail the speech.
• Many cultures do not embrace wedding speeches and whilst they’re happily curious, keep things on the shorter side – listening to something they don’t understand, their patience isn’t limitless.
• Make sure the other speakers have thought about the cultural divide. Help them avoid lengthy/inappropriate speeches.

The groom’s speech is the one that can run away with you and take on epic proportions if you’re not careful. The main problem is that most grooms want to include far too many people in the speech, and talk about them in far too much detail, and there simply isn’t time to do that.

You should really aim for a total word count of 1400 words, which on the day, when read at a steady pace, will come in at around the 10 minute mark, maybe a touch longer with stoppages. Speeches always take longer on the day than they do when you’re practicing at home, but if you’re looking at anything over 1500 words then it really is time to snip a few words here and there.

You’ve also got to bear in mind that if the Father of the bride has spoken for a while and you’re up for half an hour, guests will have sat through an hour of speeches before they get to the best man, and that’s way too long.

It may sound counterintuitive, but detail really kills a speech. That doesn’t mean your speech should be a bland overview, but rather save the detail for where it really matters.

• We really don’t need a full run down on the history and provenance of the venue.
• When talking about your parents boil down the childhood memories to the most efficient minimum.
• A groom talking about his new in-laws can often be swamped with detail, in a bid to underline his love and respect for them. Less is more.
• When mentioning the best man, remember this is not a history of your days together in real time.
• You can talk about each usher in detail, but if you do, be prepared to be already single by the time you’ve finished.
• Be efficient with how you include the bridesmaids – a powerful summary is worth much more than a series of stories.
• War and Peace as to how you met, the dating days and the proposal should be avoided.

Lead the way

Most grooms don’t make the most of their position, and that’s a shame because as the guy in charge you can do your bit to ensure that the speeches are a huge hit, and not several hours of your life you’ll never get back.

• The first thing to do is make all the other speakers agree to a maximum word count, the more speakers there are, the less each individual word count should be. With 3 speakers it should be 1400 each, and then with 4 speakers 1200 each, and so on.
• You should also make sure that you’re not doubling up on any content, so ensure that each of the toasts are given only once, and then if you’ve mentioned a close relative who has passed away the best man isn’t also planning some kind of tribute. Avoiding repetition is the aim of the game.

The maximum number of toasts I would have is 4. You need a general toast at the end, a toast to the bridesmaids, a toast to the parents, and also a toast to those no longer with us.

Of course, this is completely optional but ending your speech without a toast would be odd and also tradition states that you should toast the bridesmaids, so if you’re going to drop any of them it should be the parents and those departed. I would resist the urge to make more than four toasts, so forget the best man, ushers, helpers etc.

One of the pitfalls of a groom speech is having no balance to it because you’re far too keen to talk about your bride. Diving straight in to the subject of the bride might seem like a great idea, but the latter end of the speech and conclusion should all be about her, and so there’s no point in beginning the speech talking about her and then ending it talking about her. I have seen many groom speeches which are only made up of talking about the bride and how amazing she is. You can try it, but it won’t work.

Stag weekend

Ok, it was a great few days away in Magaluf, Berlin or Ljubljana, but those things are best shared with all the survivors at the pub rather than in the groom speech.

Of course, you can thank the best man for organising a great stag weekend, but don’t isolate the rest of the room by recounting stories that make 6 people laugh and the rest of the room scratching their heads. All too often it comes across as boorish and a little conceited, and so far, has never made it into any groom speech that I’ve ever written.

One of the most entertaining areas of wedding speeches is reading what other so-called experts suggest adding to, or indeed making, your speech. You may not have the greatest speech in the world, but as long as you avoid these appalling pieces of advice, seen elsewhere, you’ll at least scrape through with your dignity intact. So, never ever …

• Rap your speech…unless you want to live with permanent PTSD.
• Start your groom speech with the words ‘Once upon a time’. Yuk.
• Perform a ‘musical mash up’…this is a groom speech, not the Edinburgh Fringe.
• ‘Get other people to do it for you’ i.e. a video montage of friends saying their bit. It’s a groom speech. If you can’t be bothered to say it, call it off.
• ‘Turn your speech into an audience quiz’. Toe curling, and about as meaningful as Blankety Blank.
• Sing the speech…even if you’re that guy from One Direction, listening to an 8 minute song about parents, absent friends, best man, bridesmaids and bride…would be a legal form of torture.

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Crafting the Perfect Groom Speech: Tips, Examples, and Inspiration

phuket_wedding_planner via Instagram

Everyone eagerly awaits the groom’s speech at the wedding, making it crucial. While celebrating love is easy, preparing a speech often isn’t, with grooms often procrastinating out of panic. Whether shy or pressed for time, we’ve got you covered. See our Post for the best groom wedding speeches tips and ideas ever.

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Groom Speech Examples

In the groom’s speech at a wedding, he blends humor and sincerity, thanking everyone, including those absent. Special mentions go to his new father-in-law, bridesmaids, maid of honor, bride’s mother, and his groomsmen, especially the best man. He concludes with a heartfelt toast to his beloved, expressing deep love, gratitude, and commitment.

My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials and short enough to hold your attention. Apparently, it’s my job to do all the thank you’s, so on behalf of my lovely new wife and I, the biggest thank-you goes to all of you for coming. The day would not have been the same without you and neither would my bank balance! But on a serious note, it is lovely to see so many of you here. Particularly those of you who have had to travel many miles. Amy and I would like to thank our parents for all the love and support both emotional and financial they have given us. And a special thank-you to Vanessa who is responsible for making our fantastic wedding cake. Sharon, Sue, Vanessa, Ray, Steve We’d also like to thank Darren for his services as the best man today and of course our ushers. You’ve all done a grand job. Darren, Mark, Jon, Jim, Adam That brings me onto our bridesmaids. Thank you all for your help and for being there for Amy through the ups and downs of wedding planning! I’m sure everyone will agree that you all look stunning today. Nina, Laura, Charlotte, Kirsty, Fiona, Lillie, Jordan, and Emily. Finally, I would personally like to thank my lovely wife, Amy, for having me as her husband! I read somewhere that “You don’t marry the person you can live with, you marry the person you cannot live without”. Well, we’ve lived together for five years and I know I’ve married the right person. I’m so glad I can at last call you my wife. Now all that remains is for me to say please enjoy the rest of the day…… and mine’s a foster!

………..Good evening ladies, gentlemen, family, and friends. First of all, I must say a big “thank you” to Colin for his kind words. His speech was so good, he’s going to do mine for me too. As many of you will know, I am of the shy retiring type that likes to keep quiet and keep my opinions to myself, therefore you can understand my nervousness at standing up here in front of all of you making a speech. And as many of you will also know, I’m also a compulsive liar, but I am still nervous, that bit is true. I have been fearful of this bit for weeks, and as you can imagine, this isn’t the first time today I have arisen from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand. I read while researching wedding speeches that a good speech has a good beginning and a good ending. But the best speech of all is one that keeps these close together. So I will try and keep this as short as possible and will try my best not to do a “Gwinny” with my list of thanks. Firstly I would like to thank any Rangers fans for still being here and not walking out at 4.30 as usual. Pause for cheers But then again, I don’t think we’re friends with any of them anyway. I would like to thank my parents, Ian and Margaret for all the help they have given me over the years, if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be here now. So, Helen, if it doesn’t work out you know who to blame. I would also like to thank Helen’s parents, Colin and Sandra, for making me feel like the son they never wanted, sorry the son they never had, right from day 2. Day 1 was a bit rough, but hey, they’re over it now……….

………….On a serious note, I’d firstly like to say a big thank you to my new Dad Dave. I’m proud to be his son-in-law and hope I can live up to his expectations, which should be easy, compared to his other son Mick! But let us not take this Father, Son thing too seriously, as I’m not into 10-mile runs before breakfast like you were in the Paras. Both Sharon and I would like to say a huge thank you to everyone for coming here today and sharing this special occasion with us. Especially those who brought expensive presents. Its much appreciated! Thank you to Edwin and Elsa, Margaret and Linda and many others who have traveled a long way to be here. It’s certainly a long way from Brighouse! We hope you all enjoy the day, have fun, relax and be merry…………….

Groom Rehearsal Dinner Speech

Congratulations on your upcoming groom speech at the wedding rehearsal dinner! Here are three tips to help you craft a memorable and meaningful speech:

• Keep it concise: Aim for a short and sweet groom speech. Keep it under five minutes to engage your guests without losing their attention.
• Personalize it: Share personal stories and anecdotes about how you met, what you love about your fiancé, and what makes your relationship special. Don’t be afraid to show your emotions.
• Thank your guests: Express your gratitude to those who supported you during the wedding planning. Thank your guests for being a part of your special day.

Here’s an example of a groom rehearsal dinner speech that incorporates these three tips:

Good evening everyone, and thank you for joining us on this special night. I want to start by thanking our parents, who have been there for us every step of the way. Your love and support mean the world to us. I also want to thank our friends and family who have traveled from near and far to be here with us. We feel incredibly blessed to have you in our lives. As we sit here tonight, I can’t help but reflect on how lucky I am to have found my soulmate in [bride’s name]. I knew from the moment I met her that she was the one for me. Her kindness, intelligence, and beauty continue to amaze me every day. [Optional: insert a personal anecdote here] [Optional: insert a joke or humorous story here] As we prepare to start this new chapter of our lives together, I am filled with gratitude and joy. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us.

The Great Groom Speech Template

Here’s a groom speech at wedding template that will help you create a winning speech with ease.

• Thank the guests Say a heartfelt thanks to the guests for leaving their busy schedules to honor you on your big day. Many of them sacrificed time, money, work, and even their safety to come all the way because they love you. Say thank you, mean it, and crack a joke. This is also the time to distribute little gifts or wedding favors to the guests.
• Say some words about the bride Gush about the woman of the moment. Let the guests feel your joy at getting married to the love of your life. Talk about what attracted you to her, what she means to you, and reiterate your vows. You may also seal this part of your speech with a kiss and watch her blush.
• Share a memorable story Getting to your wedding day was a long journey and there are stories that bind you. Let the guests know the beautiful way you met, and share sweet memories, funny ones, and romantic events. If both of you have a favorite song, pick a line from it and incorporate it into your speech. Avoid near break-up situations, forgiveness for some errors, or unpleasant situations that happened in your relationship.
• Share your impressions about the day Recount something beautiful about your wedding day. Maybe talk about how the sun shined bright because it knows an angel got married today. Talk about the beautiful reception, cake, or decor. Just incorporate something from the present.
• Say some words about the best man Your best man is arguably one of your strongest support systems throughout wedding planning. Give him some accolades in your speech. Talk about how you met and him being your main man through life. Appreciate him sincerely and even take a friendly jab at him.
• Thank your parents There is no better time to tell everyone how awesome your parents are. Talk about the bride’s parents too because you’re family now. Thank both families for being in your corner and promise to always behave. That will get in a few laughs.
• Close with a toast Finish your speech with a toast to your wife, parents, guests, love, and happiness.

Groom Speech Tips

Many grooms often find themselves confused when trying to write their groom speech at the wedding. In the days leading up to the big event, they might go into a fit of panic because they have no idea what to write. When crafting a groom speech, it’s important to focus on the introduction, body, and conclusion. You want to captivate the guests right from the beginning of your groom speech, keep them engaged throughout, and conclude with a memorable and impactful finish.

The speech tips below are simple, concise and will give answers to all your questions.

• Prepare your mind and calm your nerves for the speech.
• Run speech by your best man to sieve out off liners.
• Make eye contact with everyone.
• Address the audience as a couple. Include your wife.
• Do away with vulgar words or jokes.
• Include the decent but minimal amount of humor.
• Don’t forget to thank your parents and in-laws
• Always throw some compliments the way of your wife and make the core of your speech.
• Dedicate some part of your speech to your wife. She is the main focus.
• Make the last toast go to your wife.
• Make your speech heartfelt and let your personality shine through.

What Not to Say in the Groom Speech

kreativwedding via Instagram

A perfect speech will give you unending applause from everyone. But a bad speech? The disasters are too much to mention. You will have in-laws getting pissed at you, the bridesmaids coming for your head. Your best man gunning to have you quartered and your wife preparing to give you hell.

To avoid the later and all other unforeseen ills that could happen with a badly given speech, here are some don’ts to the rescue.

Don’ts

• Don’t build your speech around anyone else but your wife.
• Don’t include vulgar words or insensitive jokes.
• Don’t take too much time making your speech. 5-10 minutes is enough.
• Don’t forget to introduce your best man and compliments the bridesmaids.
• Don’t forget to make your last toast to the bride.

Groom Wedding Speech Jokes

Adding a touch of humor to your groom speech can lighten the mood and make your speech memorable. Well-placed jokes can bring smiles and laughter, creating a warm and joyful atmosphere. Here are five examples of jokes that are perfect for a groom speech at a wedding:

When I proposed, I got down on one knee and almost didn’t get back up. She said yes, probably out of pity for my lack of athleticism!

They say marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one!

On our first date, I was so nervous that I spilled coffee all over myself. I guess I wanted to make a hot impression!

I’d like to thank my new in-laws for raising such an amazing woman. And for not mentioning my tendency to leave the toilet seat up… yet!

Planning this wedding was a lot like cooking for the first time – a bit messy, a lot of trial and error, and in the end, totally worth it!

Groom Wedding Toast Ideas

To the father of the bride

“Let us toast to my father in law for raising and giving me this beautiful woman. For being a wonderful father to her, although I’m taking over. For accepting me as a son……. “

To the best man

“To my right-hand man for being there all the way. For taking time off work to make all things ready for my big day. For all the sacrifices you made from way back until now. For being my best friend in the real sense and too many more years as friends…..a toast to my best man (insert name)”

Toast To the guests

“A toast to you wonderful people. You are all amazing. Thanks for being here today and sharing in our joy. To many more years of celebration and happiness………. “

To the bride

“Whoever thought this angelic beauty seated here will be mine? Let’s all make a toast to my heartthrob, whose smile lightens my world. A toast to you baby, for all you are, for all you’ll be. To us, to life, to our love, to your happiness, too many blissful years with me, to our future, to forever…………”

Frequently Asked Questions

What should the groom say in his speech.

The groom’s speech typically includes gratitude, compliments to the bride, thanks to guests, and a toast.

What should the groom say at the rehearsal dinner?

The groom at the rehearsal dinner can express appreciation to those involved, share anecdotes, and convey excitement for the upcoming wedding.

How Long Should A Groom’s Speech Be?

A groom’s speech typically lasts around 5 to 10 minutes. It should be long enough to express gratitude, share anecdotes, and convey heartfelt sentiments, but short enough to maintain guests’ interest and keep the overall flow of the wedding reception.

Thank you all again for being here tonight. Let’s raise a glass to love, laughter, and happily ever after! The groom’s speech is one of the most anticipated speeches at a wedding. It doesn’t need such long preparation but could flop if you don’t get the hang of it. Give the best groom speech at wedding ever with the tips, ideas, and templates we’ve curated in this post. Speak from the heart, let your love shine, add some humor and you’re home free.

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How to Write the Perfect Groom Speech

It’s the day you’ve been waiting for all your life. You’ve married your beautiful bride, tucked into the delicious food, and now all that is left to do is relax before the evening reception. Wait, don’t forget about your speech!

For many of us, speaking in front of a room full of people is probably pretty nerve wracking. After the act of actually getting married, giving the Groom speech is probably the second most nerve-wracking thing every man has to face on his wedding day, and it’s easy to see why.

To help you out, we’ve talked to some industry professionals to get their expert advice. Below, we have outlined everything you need to mention in order to make your speech a hit.

The Structure

Thank your guests.

Coming to a wedding is a big expense for everyone involved. Your guests pay for a good amount of petrol (or even flights), a hotel room, and your gift. Therefore, it is important you make sure they know they’re appreciated.

The first way you can do this in your speech is by thanking them. On the other hand, if you make your whole speech relatively short, they can get on with drinking and dancing. Trust me, everyone will appreciate this!

Toast absent friends

Toast to those who couldn’t make it, as well as those who are no longer alive. All guests should be thanked, even ones who are not there. Don’t be afraid to show your sensitive side here. It’s a nice touch and it will definitely be appreciated.

Big up your best man and your ushers

Your best man has been with you every step of the way with this wedding, so thank him for this. Don’t forget your ushers, either. Your boys have done you a big favour by playing a part in your wedding day (even if all they did was roll out of bed and put on a nice suit), so don’t be afraid inject a little bromance in your speech.

And, of course, make some jokes at their expense. After mentioning deceased friends and relatives, this is a good time to lighten the mood. Furthermore, your best man probably mentioned some embarrassing anecdotes about you in his speech, so get him back!

Just remember this speech isn’t all about you and your mates

“But please do this briefly,” says Seb of  Great Speech Writing . “One regular complaint from wedding guests is that they came to listen to stories about the bride and groom, not the groom and his best man. Don’t forget who you are marrying and why you have asked people to come and celebrate.”

Don’t forget everyone else. Tradition dictates you mention the bridesmaids and flower girls as well. They played a massive role in the day and have likely also acted as important support for your new wife. Especially if your wife isn’t speaking, make sure they know they are appreciated.

Others who have lent a helping hand

This is not school speech day; however, you should still acknowledge those who’ve made your day the wonderful occasion it’s been. For example, consider the person who set you up with your spouse, or the venue manager. If you haven’t given them a nod yet, do so here.

Be careful of rattling off a list like an Oscars speech, though. “It is important to thank those people who have helped you on the way to this special day but there is always a risk of simply standing there and reading a list of people to whom you wish to show your appreciation,” says Kevin of  Speeches For You .

Seb of Great Speech Writing agrees. “You don’t want you speech to become a long list of thank yous,” he points out. So just keep it to the really vital people. Everyone else can get a thank you note.

Your new in-laws and your own parents

This is your moment to gain some serious credit with your new wife’s parents, so don’t throw it away. Thank them for all they’ve done. If they paid for the wedding, sing their praises to the rafters. Thank them for raising the woman of your dreams and for accepting you into the family. And, even if they haven’t quite accepted you yet, that doesn’t matter right now! Get your now legally-binding relationship with them off to the right start nevertheless and make them feel appreciated.

When it comes to your mum and dad, only you know what to say. They raised you and, hopefully, have supported you through good times and bad, so make sure they feel the love.

Last, but absolutely never least, your new wife is the star of the show on your wedding day. Therefore, make sure the longest and most heartfelt part of your speech is all about her. It’s cliché, yes, but if you don’t mention how beautiful she is, how lucky you are, and how you’re punching well above your weight with her, you won’t have done your job with your speech.

Then, talk about your relationship in as genuine and real a way as you can muster. If you both have a good sense of humour and you like joking around, let that come through here. But, nothing is worse than a groom who spends his speech reciting bad one-liners he found on the internet.

If you do tell some jokes or a funny story about your new wife, think hard about what tales to go for. Some jokes are best left just between you two. That being said, a couple of funny and endearing stories can go a long way.

Make your speech memorable for all the right reasons  

It’s up to you to break the ice, but keep it simple.

“Weddings always have a large mix of people and not many know one another,” Kevin of Speeches for You says. “You and your wife will probably be the only people who know everyone in the room. Including some shared memories will have guests talking to each other after the meal and will make for a much more pleasant atmosphere in the evening.”

Maybe you’re the type of guy who doesn’t really wear his heart on his sleeve, and for whom saying a lot of cheesy, lovey things during your speech would feel alien. In that case, don’t force it. It’ll feel and look awkward and disingenuous.

Bear in mind that the most important thing during this part of your speech is to stay true to yourself and to represent your relationship honestly and with love, and no one can dictate to you how to do that.

Other things to bear in mind

This part of your day doesn’t have to be scary if you don’t let it be. As long as you’ve written a speech that is authentic to you and your relationship, you really can’t go wrong. Be as funny or as serious as you typically are in your everyday life; forcing either one will make for a boring or robotic speech that will be forgettable or even embarrassing.

Timing is key

When it comes to timing, try to keep it to 5-10 minutes. According to Seb, as much as your guests love that you’re happy and in love, they’re mainly there to party. And, before you think that’s untrue or harsh, remember the last time you sat through speeches at a wedding. As for the toasts, keep it down to two; one to the bridesmaids and one to your new wife. Any more than that and your speech could turn into a drinking game.

And if you are left totally blank? “Just remember to thank the parents, the best man for his help, and the guests for coming, and say how beautiful your wife is,” Seb says. That’ll guarantee you say what needs to be said with as little drama as possible!

So, go ahead and write an amazing speech (or ask for help from Seb or Kevin). Wow your guests and, more importantly, your new spouse. We also have speech writing advice for the Father of the Bride and the Best Man . Good luck.

2 thoughts on “ How to Write the Perfect Groom Speech ”

Crucially – don’t get too tied down by ‘the speech rules’ or traditional etiquette. Other than keeping the speech no longer than ten minutes and thanking the important people – the speech is yours to have fun with.

Gray is a well known colour for the grooms. So, this colour is elegant. I love that style thanks.

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Your Ultimate Guide to Writing a Groom Speech

Today we’re talking about the groom speech. Whether you’re a groom looking for last minute inspiration or already have a plan of action for your speech, we’ve put together some of our top groom speech tips to help you out. Keep reading for an ultimate guide to writing the groom’s speech.

What to Expect in a Groom Speech

The speeches generally occur at the end of the wedding breakfast. This is a popular time since it gives a brief pause after everyone has eaten. They can also be before the meal, between courses, just before dessert, or alongside the cake cutting. 

The groom’s speech generally follows the father of the bride’s speech, however there’s no set order that you need to follow. For more information on the traditional order of wedding speeches, take a look at Confetti’s article  here .

The groom’s speech is typically about giving love and thanks to all those around you. It’s not all serious either – humour often plays a large part too. Speeches will normally last from 5-10 minutes (approx. 1000-1400 words). The main thing is to try not go past the 10 minute mark; remember there will likely be other people speaking before and after you too, so your guests will appreciate some time management!

The Content

We’ve put together some areas which are commonly covered in the groom speech. It can be helpful to pick out the areas which you feel comfortable talking about and which matter most to you.

Giving Thanks

It’s a great idea to start by welcoming your guests and thanking them for coming. If you’re talking after the father of the bride (or anyone else), be sure to thank them for their speech too. 

Speak to Your Family

Once you’ve given the general rounds of thank yous, it can be worth going thanking your family specifically too. They’ve likely been behind the scenes busily preparing for your wedding for some time, and the speech is a great way to show thanks and appreciation for them.

Speak to the Best Man

Here’s when the jokes generally come into play. After you’ve thanked your best man, you could get creative and say a few words about your friendship and memories.

Speak to the Bride/ Groom

This is arguably the crux of the speech, and the most meaningful part. You’ve come this far together and you’re now officially married! It can be a great idea to reminisce on how you and your spouse met, to tell them about how much they mean to you and to give an insight into your lives together. Don’t feel that you have to write the speech entirely for your guests either – a few inside jokes/ memories of just you two can be great to include.

Closing Remarks

Toasts to everyone (your new spouse, bridal party and groomsmen in particular) will generally conclude the groom speech. Toasts can be a really nice way to conclude your speech whilst also creating a joyful atmosphere.

Some Advice

• There’s no need to be overly formal. While it’s important to read the room, some of the best groom speeches are often relaxed, informal and joyful – after all, you want your guests to laugh and have a good time!
• Brainstorm a few points which you want to include in your speech before you start writing it. That way, you won’t risk accidentally missing any important parts out.
• Whether your speech is written on paper or on your phone, what matters is the content. Don’t get too caught up in the details.
• The giving thanks section of your speech can be a great time to include some humour. This will help to break up potential monotony!
• Try not to be overly ambitious. At the end of the day, you’re aiming for a 6-10 minute speech and it can be better to focus on saying a few meaningful things, rather than rushing through too many points.
• If you’re nervous, try filming yourself. This can help to give you more confidence, and to eliminate potential fiddling or fast-talking habits which you might not have picked up on before.

That concludes our ultimate guide to writing the groom speech. For some groom’s speech templates, have a look at confetti’s blog on speeches  here . Otherwise, check out our blog for more wedding planning guides (have a look at our ultimate guide to choosing wedding suppliers here ). For anything else, please do get in touch , or follow us on Instagram and Facebook .  

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How To Write The Perfect Groom Speech

Trying to write the perfect groom speech for your upcoming wedding? You're not alone. Lots of grooms-to-be have said they worry about their speech, what to include, what NOT to include, and in what order. Wedding speeches, as well as the  order they go in , are a tradition with plenty of longevity. This can be a little daunting... That's why we thought we'd help out. We're going to go over the structure and some writing tips for your groom speech. So buckle up, and grab a pen!

An important thing to remember before we dive in is that what you decide to include is up to you. If there are elements of the more traditional wedding speech that you don't want to do - don't! We're giving you some inspiration in the form of an outline, but what you put in it is entirely up to you. Your guests will love and appreciate the fact you've put work in regardless. Also, whilst we have referred to mothers, fathers, and best men, we are sympathetic to everyone's family dynamics. To those that have strained relationships, have lost parents, or have elected a best woman. Everyone's situation is different and we fully embrace diversity. It's your day, your way. Always.

Got writer's block? Let's go over how to write a groom speech together.

What actually is a groom speech.

The answer to the above is fairly self-explanatory. But for those of you who are new to the wedding scene, a groom speech is a speech...given by the groom (who saw that coming?). Traditionally, a groom speech comes after the father of the bride. The speech usually consists of thanks, love, and jokes. A wonderful trifecta, if you ask me. In terms of duration, anywhere between 6-10 minutes is ideal. It's long enough to get the sentiment across without dragging on for too long. Guests tend to prefer speeches that take place after the wedding breakfast rather than before. This is because, after a meal, your guests won't be hungry, and they'll probably have had a couple of glasses/pints. They won't be starving, nor will they be willing you to rush through so they can finally eat. Whereas you, the speech giver, might prefer to share your speech before the meal, so once you've said a few words you can truly relax and enjoy the meal, and not worry about enjoying one to many glasses of Prosecco and stumbling your words.

Step 1: Welcome

As we said, the father of the bride will have likely just finished. So start your groom speech off by thanking him for his. You can then welcome your guests and thank them for coming. Feel free to make some jokes about your upcoming speech to ease both you and them into it. Don't go overboard, though. 

Step 2: Thanks(giving) 

Now is the time for some thanks. Thank the bridesmaids and the groomsmen for being there and helping out. Then go on to thank the mums, giving flowers if you have chosen to do so. Show appreciation for the people who have come to celebrate your love with you - it's a truly beautiful thing. 

Step 3: Family Time

This is where it might start to get a bit emotional. Traditionally, this is where we thank our parents. Whatever your family dynamics, and whoever your support system is, I'm sure you'll have people you want to thank. Now that you've thanked everyone and your speech is well on its way, it's time to bring family into the mix. If it wasn't for them, you probably wouldn't be where you are now. So thank them for what they've done, and if they have helped out with the wedding or wedding planning, make sure to thank them for that too. This is a monumental moment not just for you, but for them, as well. Honouring your family and/or parents in your groom speech is a beautiful way to say thanks for everything. 

Step 4: Best Man

If you do decide to go down the traditional route, bear in mind that the best man speech will follow yours. Normally, the best man tends to throw some comedy fireballs at you in the form of embarrassing stories from school. So you could always choose to pre-empt these and throw some jokes of your own. Thanking him is never a bad idea either, for being a good friend - a rock to lean on. Think about why he's your best man, and then make some jokes out of it. Simple! 

Step 5: Spouse Time

This is the part of your speech that the sentimentalists amongst the crowd have been waiting for. The reason you are all together: your partner. This is your chance to publicly tell them how much they mean to you, how happy you are, and how glad this wedding occurred. Feel free to throw in some inside jokes, or jokes that the whole room can appreciate. Just ensure your love and happiness are being well construed. That's what we're all after, anyways. 

Step 6: Round off your groom speech with some toasts 

Traditionally, the groom speech is finished off with toasts. Toast to everyone in the room - paying special attention to your partner and the bridesmaids/squad. Order is fairly flexible here - the main idea is that you thank those around you for making your day so special. 

Finally, you can relax. Your groom speech is done, and everyone is either laughing, crying, or both. A happy ending indeed. You now have the rest of the evening to do as you wish - so have a drink on us! 

Some tips for when you're writing 

As we've mentioned above, what goes into your speech is up to you. If you want to focus on comedy, go for it. If you prefer to shed light on the sentimental, please do. But here are a few general tips to take into account when writing. 

• You don't need to be too formal. Your guests want to hear you speak as you usually do. There is no need for formalities - relax, be friendly and open, and smile! This isn't a court hearing. 
• Don't forget what your groom speech is actually about It's easy to get swept up in your speech - but remember who this is for, at the end of the day. The main focus should really be on your partner - a few romantic sentiments dedicated to the person you've just had the pleasure of marrying. 
• Timing, timing, timing! Don't go under or overboard. As mentioned, the best groom speeches are typically 6-10 minutes long - so make sure you're sticking to that timeframe. Written down, that's roughly 1000-1400 words. 
• If you're going funny - make it the best man and the thank yous The thank yous can typically drag on a bit, and hearing the word "thank you" over and over can get a bit tiresome. So why not spruce up this section and try to inject some comedy into it? It'll make your thanks seem more thought out, rather than the bog-standard "thank you Dad for ...". 
• Test-run it! It's highly advised to test out your groom speech before you give it. Ensuring the jokes land the way you want them to and your sentimental moments don't come across the wrong way is vital. Choose someone you trust and ask them to give you constructive criticism. 
• Opening line Ever heard of the phrase "start as you mean to go on"? This applies here, too. If your opening line is golden, that gets everyone involved and listening keenly, chances are the rest of your speech will go pretty great, too. Focusing on the start gets guests smiling from the get go.

Hopefully, you now have a better idea of how to get cracking on your groom speech!

Whether you're angling for the comedic approach or opting for sentimentalism, your groom's speech will be great. One of the biggest factors when it comes to speech-giving is confidence - go into it knowing you've done a good job, and your guests will think so, too. It's your day, your speech. Be true to yourself! Following this guide is definitely a great place to start. We've got an article all about  brides' speeches , to ensure fantastic speeches on both ends. We've got a  podcast episode  on the same topic, as well - for when you're on the move. Finally, if you're sticking to the side of comedy, then we've got a great list of  funny readings  to ensure your guests are giggling away until the early hours of the morning. 

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How to Write a Groom Speech

A complete guide to writing your groom speech.

"...and so on to how I met Lucy... chapter five..."

Please make it stop!!! There's nothing worse than a boring groom speech – yes, you have people to thank, yes there are important things to be said... blah, blah, blah... but that doesn't mean it has to be dull!

And remember, your best man is about to unleash a torrent of comedy man-grenades at you in front of all your nearest and dearest, so fight fire with fire and throw some jokes at your nemesis before he lets rip.

Groom Speech Jokes

Right, I'd just like to start with two simple rules. Firstly, no heckling please. And secondly, if you do have a mobile phone... please, leave it switched on, keep yourselves entertained. I think if you keep your spirits high and your expectations low, everyone will be happy.

I'm going to make a deal with you all. If you at least promise to pretend to laugh at my jokes, then I promise not to let [Best Man] burst into song during his speech.

[Bride's Father] I'd like to thank you for giving away [Bride] this morning so willingly, a bit too willingly if you ask me.

Now I know [Best Man] has been very nervous about his speech and it has given him quite a few sleepless afternoons at work.

My best man is proof that the gene pool doesn't have a lifeguard so please feel free to ignore everything he says about me in his speech.

I would just like to point out to all the ladies that my best man is single, we're hoping to find him a good home. Not any of you, we like you all far too much to inflict him on you but if you have any friends that you don't really like then please pass their details to the front so we can start the vetting process.

How To Write A Groom Speech

• The Basics - When and where you'll take centre stage.
• Duration - How long should your speech be?
• Groom Speech Structure - All the key phases of your speech.
• Opening Lines - How to get off to a flying start and hold their attention.
• Thank Yous - A list of the important people to thank during your speech.
• Parents - Should you mention your parents in your speech?
• The Journey - The nuts and bolts of your speech: the key stories, events, jokes.
• The Toast - Go out on a high as you wrap things up and pass over to the best man.
• The Delivery - How to overcome the nerves and recite your speech confidently.
• The Humour - The best ways to get the giggles and the pitfalls to avoid.

The groom's speech is traditionally second, after the father of the bride and before the best man speech . The wedding speeches take place when everyone is seated, either before or after the meal.

Top Tip: After the meal, your audience will be well fed and maybe a beer or two further down the line, so they're more likely to be relaxed and not starving hungry wishing you'd hurry up so they can get to the buffet.

Back to List

The perfect groom speech lasts roughly seven minutes (give or take a standing ovation and encore). Any more than that and people will begin to lose interest/doze off/start throwing bread rolls.

Top Tip: Time your speech by practising it out loud.

The hardest part of your speech is knowing where to begin. There are seven basic phases of the groom speech structure to help you cover all the key areas. Stick to these and you can't go far wrong (unless you tell any stories the bride really doesn't want the room to know!).

Welcome – Thank the father of the bride for his speech and thank all your guests for coming. Formal Bit -Thank the bridesmaids, groomsmen and hand out any gifts. Also thank both mums and present them with flowers. Parents – Now your speech is underway, thank your parents for making you the man you are today. The Journey – Explain the journey of how you and your bride met that brought you here today. The Best Man – This is your chance to draw comedic first blood before he gets the mic. Your Bride – A chance to tell her publicly how much she means to you and how happy you are today. Toast – It's traditional to end the groom speech by giving a toast to the bridesmaids.

The Dos and Don'ts of Wedding Toast Etiquette

Opening Lines

Your speech should begin with a quick thank you to the father of the bride for his speech (which will just have ended) and thanking him for welcoming you to the family.

It's also good to get an early laugh in to relax you and your audience. Also, because you're a damn funny guy!

Top Tip: Start with an early laugh.

Formal Bit - Thank Yous

Thank the bridesmaids, groomsmen, give a particular mention to any younger members of the wedding party and present any gifts.

Thank anyone who contributed to the wedding - if a family member made the cake or 'Crazy Uncle Frank' is doing the disco, give them a heartfelt mention.

It's traditional to thank the mums and present them with flowers.

Top Tip: Dare to be a bit different with gifts and present something that will show you've really thought about it rather than typed "Bridesmaid gift" into Amazon.

The Parents

It's now time to dig into your speech proper. Having presented your mum with flowers, it's an easy way to segue into thanking your parents on behalf of both of you and add a few jokes about how tough/easy it must have been raising you.

The Journey

"Do you know how they met?" It's a line you hear from guests a lot at weddings. Although the story is so familiar to you and your new missus, it's something many of your guests won't know but will be curious about. So your wedding speech is the perfect time to tell the story and add a few jokes to make your bride laugh as well as your guests as you retell the best bits of your love story.

This is also a great time to mention other people in your speech, those that played a part in your story: siblings, best friends, police officers. It's a nice way to fill your speech and is something that can be interesting and entertaining if laced with a few good gags.

Don't just limit yourself to how you ended up on your first date, give a reflective outline of your life together that has led to this special day. And that it's too late for her to try and back out now!

The Best Man

"One, two besties coming for you..." Like your own Nightmare on Wedding Street, there is one man out to get you and, no matter what you do, there's nothing that can stop him. While his speech has given him more than a few sleepless afternoons at work and no matter how nervous he is about his speech, you can be 100% sure of one thing...

He's going to do everything he possibly can to take you down!

Now you can either surrender and just give in to the inevitable or you can go for the pre-emptive strike and reduce the collateral damage by landing a few comedy blows of your own so that he doesn't have it all his own way.

Yes, believe it or not, some grooms do forget to mention their bride in the wedding speech. It's a fast route to spending your first night of wedded bliss sleeping on the sofa. If you want to do it with a touch of class, add a few romantic quotes by the likes of Hilaire Belloc or St Augustine which will make you look like a bit more cleverest than what you actually is.

Another very important thing to remember during your speech is that (unless she is doing a speech as well) you are speaking for both you and your bride. That means remembering to say things like: "We'd like to thank you..." and using the joint pronouns.

The traditional ending for the groom's speech is to ask everyone to raise a glass to the bridesmaids and that is certainly something you should do. But that doesn't mean you can't do a couple of toasts such as asking everyone to raise a glass to the bride.

Top Tip: Speak to your best man and father of the bride to make sure you have all the important toasts covered between you and also make sure you aren't all intending on doing the same toasts by mistake.

How To Deliver Your Groom Speech

1 - Breathe!

Yes, it might seem obvious and you were probably planning on doing that on the day anyway, but controlling your breathing, even something as simple as taking a big deep breath really does work. The intake of oxygen can help control adrenaline and calm your nerves.

Easier said than done, of course, but there is something you should remember: everyone is here today because of you, they want you to have a great day and they want to enjoy your groom speech, so just remember everyone in the room is on your side and rooting for you to do well.

3 - Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse!

This is probably the most important speech you're ever going to give (until the UN finally give you that platform to talk about the importance of free beer in the workplace), so you should do it properly. Write your speech long in advance of the weekend to give you plenty of time to keep practising. Not just reading it a few times before the big day, practise saying it out loud. Over and over again! You should be able to say it in your sleep. The more confident you are about your speech (and that includes something as simple as knowing what's coming next), the more relaxed and confident your delivery will be.

4 - Ask a Friend

Get someone to act as your sounding board so you can practise it on them and get any useful feedback about your delivery or any bits that need a rewrite.

5 - Cue Cards

Rather than printing your sheet onto an A4 piece of paper (that could visibly shake in nervous hands), print your speech onto cue cards. They're easier to hold and it's easier to remember smaller sections of speech. You can also use one cue card for each section.

6 - Enjoy It!

You've already done the biggest bit during the actual ceremony. The important details are taken care of, this bit is now all about having fun so make sure you enjoy it.

Delivering your Wedding Speech

Whilst some people have a natural talent for humour, others, quite frankly, do not. Don't force a gag. If it doesn't work, if it's ambiguous, if it's tenuous, cut it, and don't go for any in-jokes that only a few guests will understand. Your groom speech jokes should make everyone in the room feel included.

Also, keep it family-friendly, you don't want to say anything that might offend anyone or isn't suitable for a room with small children.

Try and think of funny jokes in relation to those involved, personal jokes, rather than a list you've just printed off Google. And while we're at it, don't get a list off Google, those jokes are really easy to find which means everyone will have heard them before at other weddings. Be different.

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How to Write the Perfect Groom Speech

All you need is 15 minutes to prepare, according to an expert.

Photo by Sarah Folsom Photography

In This Article

When it comes to wedding speeches, there's no rule that says the groom has to give one; generally speaking, the father of the bride, the best man, and the maid of honor are the only people required to grab the microphone—but there's even some flexibility here. That being said, grooms shouldn't shy away from saying a few words during the reception if they feel called to do so. It's a wonderful chance to thank guests for their attendance, family members for their f inancial and emotional support , and wedding vendors for bringing the day to life. Most importantly, it gives you a public platform to thank your partner for making you the happiest person in the room.

"The groom's speech is an opportunity for the groom to express deep gratitude, share personal reflections on the journey to marriage, and set the tone for the celebration ahead," explains Steven Greitzer, CEO and founder of Provenance. These remarks are also special because they allow the groom to have a brief moment to shine—especially for those who have an outgoing and charismatic personality. If you're feeling nervous about the idea of giving a toast , however, here's the good news: Preparing for your speech is surprisingly simple and only requires you to follow a few simple steps.

Meet the Expert

Steven Greitzer is the founder and CEO of  Provenance , an online company that specializes in helping couples (and guests!) write wedding vows and toasts.

Here, we break down Greitzer's top tips for writing and delivering an amazing wedding speech as the groom, including exactly what to say to get everyone clapping, what to avoid, and a few sample speeches to inspire your own.

The Average Length of a Groom Speech

As with all wedding speeches, it's best to keep your remarks short and sweet, only touching upon the main points you want to get across. "A groom's speech should be impactful, but still concise, ideally lasting around three minutes max," explains Greitzer. "This ensures that it complements rather than dominates the flow of the reception, allowing guests to enjoy the other toasts from the night while also saving ample time for eating and dancing."

The ideal time to give the groom speech is right before or right after dinner is served. Be sure to coordinate with your wedding planner to ensure time is allocated for your remarks.

Photo by Getty Images / Design by Brides

The Ultimate Groom Speech Template

If you're feeling like you can't possibly add another task to your pre-wedding to-do list, remember that writing your speech shouldn't take long at all. In fact, it should only take less than 15 minutes to prepare, which is less than the time it takes to watch a rerun of your favorite television show. As for how to write your remarks? Greitzer provides the ultimate template to follow, below.

Start with a warm opening and express gratitude.

In today's modern world, most of your wedding guests are traveling to be part of the big day, so acknowledging their efforts and expressing your gratitude is the best way to open up your speech. "Welcoming your guests warmly sets the tone for the celebration. Start by expressing your heartfelt gratitude to everyone who has come to share this special day with you," says Greitzer. "A simple 'thank you' can create a sense of community and warmth." After all, regardless of how big or small your wedding is, there's a good chance you won't be able to spend quality time with each guest, which means your speech is the perfect opportunity to thank everyone for coming.

You can even use this portion of the speech to highlight specific individuals, "like a grandparent, or a friend who has traveled a great distance," explains Greitzer. "This is also the time to thank your parents, your in-laws, and publicly shout out your vendors—a small thank you goes a long way," he adds.

Take a moment to appreciate your partner.

Your wedding day is about you and your partner coming together, so you'd be remiss not to say something sweet about the person you just married. "Even though you've exchanged vows, this moment allows for a more informal and spontaneous expression of your love for your partner. It's a chance to share in real time what you're feeling and to express your gratitude and love in a relaxed and genuine way," shares Greitzer.

Recall one to two memories.

Your groom speech is the perfect opportunity to share a sweet memory from your relationship and give guests a glimpse into the world you and your partner have built together. It also gives you the chance to share any childhood anecdotes that involve close friends and family. However, since you only have three minutes to deliver your toast, stick to one to two core memories that mean the most to you—and don't share anything your partner would object to you saying.

Share any announcements (if applicable).

Whether it’s about the dinner being currently served, the signature cocktail available at the bar, the DJ/band, the schedule for buses, or the overall atmosphere in the reception space, pull out one comment to share aloud related to the evening’s experience, explains Greitzer. This allows everyone to stay informed and "helps the event run smoothly and keeps everyone on the same page," he adds.

End on a fun note and give thanks again.

"Wrapping up your welcome speech with a touch of fun sets a great tone for the rest of the evening. Consider sharing a lighthearted anecdote from your relationship or a funny story from your wedding planning journey ," says Greitzer. "This not only leaves your guests smiling but also creates a smooth transition into the celebration, helping everyone get into the festive spirit."

Then, before officially concluding your speech, give one more round of thanks to everyone involved. Anyone you missed on the first pass—your families, any special friends, and especially your wedding vendors—should be noted here. Finally, ask everyone to raise a toast to your partner, your families, the friends in attendance, and the hardworking staff working to bring the day to life.  

What to Avoid When Writing a Groom Speech

While you should feel empowered to write a speech that's personal to you, there are a few things you shouldn't do when penning your toast. Ahead, Greitzer highlights what to avoid when putting together your groom speech.

• Avoid inappropriate humor.  "Steer clear of jokes that might be considered offensive or inappropriate. Humor is a great way to lighten the mood, but it’s not worth offending your new mother-in-law."
• Avoid overly personal or inside jokes. "Inside jokes that only a few people understand can alienate the rest of your audience. Ensure your speech is inclusive and resonates with everyone."
• Steer clear of exes. "This  should  go without saying, but avoid mentioning past relationships or ex-partners. This would likely be awkward and uncomfortable for everyone, including your partner."

"It’s wise to limit your alcohol intake before giving your speech. We’ve all seen what happens when a speech-giver is too tipsy or drunk, and it’s not pretty," advises Greitzer.

Sample Groom Speeches to Inspire Your Own

Stuck on what to say? Here are two sample speeches Greitzer generated with Provenance.

I promise to make this quick! Thank you all so much for being here to celebrate with us. For those who traveled across the world, or across the 405, we are eternally grateful. Seriously, looking out and seeing all your amazing faces fills me with so much happiness. To our vendors who brought our vision to life, you all are wizards. Appreciate you all so much.

To our families, thank you for all your love and support. You've taught us what it means to be patient, helpful, and resilient. We're so grateful for everything you've done for us, including putting up with our irrational, late-night panicked wedding planning emergency calls.

To our friends, thank you for being our chosen family. Whether it was decorating our apartment with engagement decorations before we got back from vacation, or entertaining our weird game night ideas, we can't wait for more fun times and great memories together.

And most importantly, to [partner’s name]… holy sh*t we’re finally married?! I can’t believe how lucky I am that you answered my double text. While I think you’re beautiful in your messy bun and retainer, you look unbelievable tonight.

To anyone I missed, thank you for making this day so special.

So, let's raise our glasses and toast to love, friendship, and the fun times ahead.

Good evening, everyone.

First of all, thank you all for being here tonight. It's truly amazing to look around and see so many of our friends and family gathered together. Your presence means the world to us, and we're grateful for each and every one of you.

I want to start by thanking my parents. Mom and Dad, your support and love have shaped me into the person I am today. You've always been there for me, guiding me with your wisdom and setting an example of what a loving marriage looks like. I can only hope to follow in your footsteps.

To my new in-laws, thank you for welcoming me into your family with open arms. Your kindness and generosity have made me feel like I've been part of your family for years. I'm excited to create many more memories together.

To my groomsmen, thank you for standing by my side today and throughout my life. Each of you has played a significant role in my journey, and I'm honored to have you here. Your friendship has been a constant source of strength and laughter.

And now, to my beautiful wife/husband/partner. [Name], I feel like the luckiest man in the world to be standing here with you. From the moment we met in that little coffee shop on Valencia Street, I knew there was something special about you. Your kindness, intelligence, and passion for life inspire me every day. You make me a better person, and I am so grateful for your love and partnership. I promise to support you, laugh with you, and love you unconditionally for the rest of our lives.

[Wedding location] has always been a special place for us, filled with memories of our adventures together. From exploring [Golden Gate Park] to sunset walks along [Ocean Beach], this city has been the backdrop of our love story. And today, surrounded by the people we care about most, we're beginning a new chapter in our favorite city.

So, here's to love, laughter, and a lifetime of happiness. Thank you all for sharing this special day with us. Let's raise a glass to new beginnings and the beautiful journey ahead.

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How to write a groom speech in 2024

A guide by professional speech writers Speechy.

HOW TO WRITE A GROOM SPEECH IN 2024

By professional speech writers, speechy.

Writing a groom speech is challenging, among the dozens of other things you need to do on the day of your wedding. But, a great speech is still the ultimate accessory. We asked the wedding speechwriting team at Speechy for their advice on how to write a modern groom speech.

Words: H. Ellert

Prepare to adapt

The last few years have taught us that nothing is certain. Despite this uncertainty, it’s no excuse to leave your speech till the last minute, even if that’s your normal style. Sadly, it’s rare for grooms to be hit by divine inspiration in the fortnight before their wedding, so take the time to put the work into your speech early.

Write the core of it and adapt the opening and toast depending on whether you’re addressing a smaller audience than you expected or one that is overjoyed to be back in a room together celebrating together.

Tell your story

Don’t get bogged down with etiquette guides and feel you have to be overly formal. Yes, thank the important people but it’s fine to start your speech with a ‘Well hello everyone’ rather than addressing your guests as ‘ladies and gentleman’ (chances are they’re not!).

Begin with a few insights about you as a couple: perhaps an anecdote from when you started dating or an account of any bumps in the road you hit while planning your wedding. If you’ve both managed to choose your wedding outfits (including your wedding suit ) and accessories without a fuss, well done. These are the big decisions.

Don’t be shy in acknowledging the difficult times you might have faced; guests will naturally be able to relate. This needn’t be maudlin – humour lightens the hefty reality of all that’s happened since 2020 and helps you bond with your audience.

Cut the groom speech clichés

If there’s one thing every boring speech has in common, it’s being packed full of platitudes. Resist the urge to use catchwords like ‘best friend’ or ‘soulmate’ to describe your spouse. These are unoriginal and add nothing to the speech.

Every groom thinks his partner is gorgeous, kind and generally amazing, so make sure you prove, don’t tell. If yours has been checking in with all your elderly neighbours throughout the pandemic, give this some well-deserved acknowledgment.

Think about their unique character quirks – wedding planning may have accentuated some of these. Perhaps their super creative, DIY frenzy made you discover one of their hidden talents. Or maybe you were amazed at the way they made every effort to include people you love in your wedding ceremony.

Hunt the humour

Step away from the Googled jokes. Yes, it’s tempting but wedding one-liners are just not on these days. Ask yourself lots of questions. How does your partner make you laugh? What do you regularly ‘debate’? What do you do that annoys them? Remember the old adage ‘it’s funny because it’s true’.

Avoid starting your speech with the thank yous. Hook your audience with the entertaining stuff and get round to the formal stuff later. Don’t turn your speech into a roll call – there’s no obligation to namecheck half your guests. You certainly don’t need to thank anyone who’s been paid for their help.

There might be people whose support has been particularly significant in the past year. Give them a special mention, of course, but consider offering gifts and a more personal thank you at another time, to spare the guests who are there for the laughs.

Keep it punchy

There’s a skill in keeping your speech short. A groom’s speech should generally be between a thousand and 1,300 words. Any longer and you risk losing your audience.

Stories and jokes are stronger the punchier they are. ‘Command X’ is your friend – get rid of anything that needs too much explaining. If an anecdote is particularly long-winded, it’s unlikely to win any genuine laughs – drop it. We promise the more ruthless you are at the cutting stage, the funnier your speech will be.

No one even sat through a wedding speech and thought ‘If only it was longer’.

The minimony

That’s jargon for ‘small wedding’ if you’re wondering fellas, something that’s become super trendy since the pandemic. Delivering a speech to a very exclusive guestlist requires a change of tone. Having fewer expectant faces in the audience allows more of an ‘in-joke’ vibe to your anecdotes which, chances are, most of your guests have heard before in a less formal setting.

Less background noise might feel intimidatingly quiet, but embrace the intimacy of the occasion – a small group, giggling together is a real tonic. These are literally your nearest and dearest, so give your speech the affectionate tone that warrants.

Prepare to deliver

A confident delivery is key, and sadly, Dutch Courage is a myth. Limit yourself to no more one than one drink before the speech. Using notes is fine (on thick quality paper, or maybe off your phone at a push) but you need to know your speech beforehand. It’ll help it to flow more naturally.

In the run-up to the day, film yourself giving the speech, then watch it back and decide where you should put more emphasis or slow down. Don’t forget to delete it off your phone or risk your performance being outed before the big day!

As a general guide, slow down and talk at half the speed you would do in normal conversation. It feels odd at first, but it really does make you sound more confident.

On the day, maintain as much eye contact with the guests as possible, especially the people you’re thanking. Prepare for good-natured heckling and make sure you pause where you expect laughter (it will come, promise). And relax – smiling is contagious, and if you’re feeling comfortable then people will be able to see that and they’ll feel relaxed too.

Do what you need to feel confident

Whether it’s practicing in front of the mirror, roping your best mates or family in to be the practice audience (even though they might hear it in real time too) or getting the right fit for your  suit  so that you look your best, do what it takes to boost your confidence. You need to feel prepared and at free from nerves, sometimes that just takes a haircut, some practice and a bit of peace.

If you need to take yourself away from things beforehand just to have a little relaxation time and to mentally prepare, that’s cool. Just mention it beforehand so that no one thinks you’ve bailed.

Once your speech is over you take a little time out to reflect, relax or decompress if you need to. We’re sure you’ll have smashed it!

Speechy is a team of ex-BBC TV scriptwriters who now specialise in wedding speeches. Make a speech to be proud of with its quality speech templates, speech reviews and bespoke speeches.

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The Ultimate Groom's Wedding Speech Checklist

Don't leave anyone or anything important off your list of thank yous.

The groom's wedding speech is often about covering all bases. It doesn't have the bravado and general LOLs of a best man speech , the gushing and poignant words of a bridesmaid speech , or all the nostalgia and tear-jerking words of a father of the bride or groom speech. Instead, a groom's speech is half admin, half emotion; kind of like an Oscar acceptance!

A chance to shout out the wedding party, thank the ushers, and tell your new in-laws how chuffed you are to be part of the family. To help you write your speech - and to make sure you don't leave anyone out - we've put together a handy groom's wedding speech checklist . You'll thank us later!

A groom doing a speech solo is more common, but we've also seen lots of couples do their thank you speech together , as well as brides making speeches too ( more ladies on the mic please !). Our list covers all bases and standard family structures, but tweak it as is appropriate for you and your crew. We can guarantee if you hit all the points on the list below, then you will have covered all your bases. Hopefully it comes in handy for whatever kind of wedding thank you speech you're making.

Groom's Wedding Speech Checklist

(In no particular order, but this order makes for a nice crescendo!)

• Thank the guests for coming - give a special shout out to anyone who's come a long way.
• Thank any staff or suppliers who worked on the day - only those present.
• Thank the celebrant - if present.
• Thank anyone who helped in the lead up to the day (outside of the wedding party and immediate family) - any one who gave lifts, stitched bunting, glued centrepieces, etc.
• Thank anyone who took part in the day itself - ceremony readings , music, wedding cake baker, etc.
• Mention your new parents in law and siblings - this is a good time to tell them how happy you are to join the family, how welcome/terrified they made you feel, how you promise to be there for their son or daughter/brother or sister..
• Mention your siblings  - be specific about things they helped you with or special memories. This is also a good time to mention any other special family members, grandparents, step-parents, etc.
• Mention your parents - if both your parents are present, thank them both individually, usually an anecdote about the kind of person they've taught you to be goes down well.
• Thank your wedding party - make sure both sides get a mention, though it's fine to gush a bit harder about your best man!
• Thank your other half - for marrying you, for looking fabulous, for being wonderful, and all the other good things you can think of. Remember to tell them all about why you love them and why you can't wait to get started with married life!

Need more help with your wedding speeches - we've got you covered!

• 30 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
• How to Begin a Wedding Speech: Great Opening Lines
• How to Stop Your Wedding Speeches Going on Too Long
• The Correct Order of Speeches at a Wedding?
• 9 Ways to Shake Up Your Wedding Speeches
• How to Give a Flawless Best Man Speech
• Everything You Need To Play Wedding Speech Bingo

Listen & Subscribe to The One Fab Day Wedding Podcast

Episode 22: wedding speeches 101.

You can listen to the One Fab Day Wedding Podcast wherever you get your podcasts , and search them on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Image credits

Tomasz kornas photography, via one fab day, see more in:.

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How To Write a Groom's Speech

If there's ever a speech which you need to score big points on, then this is it. The grooms speech is not one to be taken lightly. Your bride and the guests will be anticipating something special (no pressure) so give them what they're looking for, and some, with a knockout speech sure to impress. The two key aspects your speech should feature are giving thanks and expressing how you feel on the most memorable day of your life. Guaranteed the hardest part will be knuckling down and putting pen to paper so make a start sooner rather than later with the help of our handy tips.

 T H E  S T A R T

The most common way to begin your speech is thanking all the necessary guests and contributors to the day. Traditionally the groom's speech will come after the Father of the Bride's speech so start off with him. Keep your thanks short and sweet, you don't want to be boring the audience as you run through the entire guest list. Focus on the key figures who have made the day a success through generous acts of kindness. The people to remember to give thanks to are the parents of the bride, your parents, your best man, groomsmen and the bridesmaids.

T H E  M I D D L E

Now the easiest part is done, it's time to get meaningful and fill the main body of the speech, the part where you wax lyrical about your new wife. You have the opportunity here to tell a story, however, try not fall into the clichés.  You don't want people to think you've googled 'Groom's Speech' and copied the first thing you've come across.  Yes, everyone loves a romantic story about the day you first met and by all means include this but have it alongside some original content tailored to the bride with all her quirks and qualities. You have most likely spent months on end planning this day together so this part is your little surprise for her. Aim to have her laughing out loud and crying tears of happiness all in the space of around 10 minutes. How hard can it be talking about the love of your life? You've got this!

T H E  E N D

Congratulations, you'd done the difficult bit! To round off your speech the most appropriate thing to do is to raise a toast to all the guests and particularly your new bride. You can also thank the bridesmaids in this part of the speech instead of at the beginning, this tends to be a more traditional approach however there is no right or wrong nowadays. So go ahead, raise your glass to the bride and the most wonderful day of your life, and get yourself seated for the infamous best man's speech!

T H I N G S  T O  R E M E M B E R

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How to Write a Groom Speech

You’re getting married! Many congratulations.

But in addition to the excitement, I’ll bet that nerves about giving your Groom speech are kicking in.

Not only do you have to speak in front of all your friends and family, but there’s also an entire speech to write first!

Fortunately, writing your speech is not too difficult, as long as you leave enough time to prepare and you follow a structured approach.

Following the steps below will make writing your Groom speech as painless as possible.

Step 1: Clarify the Important Details

Before starting your speech, ensure you know all the details about when and how the speeches will take place at your wedding.

Although you may already be familiar with most of the specifics (it’s your wedding after all!) quickly check with your spouse-to-be or wedding coordinator about any remaining questions.

Here are a few things you should clarify:

• Who else will speak at your wedding, and in what’s the planned order? (1)
• Where do the speeches fall in the overall wedding schedule? (e.g., after dinner but before dancing)
• Will you use a microphone, or will you need to project your voice?
• Will there be a separate “MC” to introduce each speaker or will you take on that role yourself?

(1) Traditionally, it’s the Father of the Bride, then the Groom (that’s you), and then then Best Man but these days there may be additional or alternative roles too.)

Step 2: Brainstorm a Few Initial Ideas

Once you’re clear how your big day will run, it’s time to generate some raw material and ideas for your speech content.

First, write down any thoughts, memories or messages that come easily to mind that you might want to include.

(At this stage, you’re just capturing ideas, not trying to structure them.)

You can use these questions to guide your brainstorming:

• What memories of your relationship stand out?
• What do you most admire and appreciate about your wife-to-be?
• What would you like to say directly to her on this special day?
• What are the ways in which you complement each other well?
• What hopes would you like to express for your future together?

You can jot down notes by hand or type them into a document on your computer.

Tip: Try using sticky notes if writing by hand — it will make organizing your thoughts easier later.

Step 3: Choose a Speech Structure

Next. decide on a basic outline to follow for structuring your speech. This will serve as a helpful guide for organising your ideas.

There are many possible structures you can use. The right one for you will depend on what you want to say and how you want to say it.

Some options include:

• Short and simple: Opening, First Meeting Story, Appreciation, Well Wishes, Toast
• Comprehensive: Opening, How You Met, Why You Love Her, Fond Memories, Hope for the Future, Toast
• Story-driven: Opening, Story 1, Story 2, Story 3, Common Themes, Toast
• Personal Qualities: Opening, Quality 1 + examples, Quality 2 + examples, Quality 3 + examples
• Novelty: For instance you could structure your speech as a Yelp review, or a business presentation, or a fairy story.

Once you select an outline, create headings or sections for the main points you’ll cover.

Tip: If using sticky notes, write each section heading on a separate sheet to organise your notes.

Step 4: Organise Your Content

Using your chosen outline, start grouping your brainstormed ideas and thoughts under the appropriate speech sections.

Move your sticky note ideas around or cut and paste your digital notes to reorganise the flow.

Don’t worry about getting it perfect first time. You’re really just trying to get a feel for the material you have and how well it fits into the structure you’ve chosen.

You’ll probably find you have too much content for some sections and not enough for others. Which means you may need to generate some additional ideas to fill any gaps.

The goal of this step is populating the main sections of your speech with the ideas that you intend to cover.

Step 5: Write the First Draft

Once you’ve roughly organised the sections and ideas, it’s time to write out the first full draft of your speech.

(Even if you don’t plan to memorise it word-for-word, writing a complete draft allows you to refine the messaging and transitions between sections.)

I recommend typing your draft out on your computer, as it will be easier to move things around and make revisions later.

Use document headings for each of your major sections and short paragraphs or bullet points for your ideas.

Then start to expand the individual ideas into fuller sentences and paragraphs you might use in your speech.

Tip: These days, most writing software will have some kind of built-in speech recognition. You can use this to verbally expand each of your ideas.

Again, don’t worry too much about the exact phrasing of each part of your speech. It’s more about getting something down onto the page.

Most writers will tell you that editing is much easier than writing so the quicker you can get a very rough version of your speech completed the better.

Here are some questions to guide you while editing:

• Are the individual sections of my speech well balanced in terms of the content (and length of speaking time)?
• Does each section flow smoothly into the next or do I need to add some transitional sentences?
• Is the basic structure working well overall or do I need to go back and consider a different template?

The goal of this step is having a rough draft of approximately the right length that covers most of the ground you want to cover in your speech.

Step 6: Practice and Refine

Once you have a solid first draft completed, start practising your speech out loud and make refinements.

Practicing in front of the mirror is a bit of a cliché and doesn’t work for everyone but why not give it to go?

Another option is to put your smartphone on a small tripod or prop it up against something and film yourself delivering your speech to camera, then review your performance afterwards.

It’s common to find that some sections don’t quite flow as naturally when spoken aloud as they do on the page. Make notes on areas that need rewording or tightening up.

Note: This is an iterative process — practice reading it, then make adjustments, then read again. Repeat this cycle until it feels polished.

Once you’re happy with how it reads aloud, consider doing a practice run with a friend or family member to get feedback before your final revisions.

Note: Time yourself reading the speech, and make sure it fits within the allotted time at your wedding. Adjust content as needed.

Go Write Your Groom Speech!

Now you know how you write your Groom speech, you can just follow these steps and you’ll have a heartfelt, well-structured Groom speech in no time.

The most important thing is to start early and break the task down into manageable steps.

Before you know it, you’ll have a speech that you feel confident to deliver and will put a smile on everyone’s faces.

Read More Like This

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Groom Speech Advice

Nailing your groom speech advice speech.

When it comes to writing a groom speech, most blokes panic and dive headfirst into googling speech etiquette and wedding gags.

This result is the usual fodder; a speech that’s clichéd, boring, and just a bit blah. 

You can do better. And, we’re here to help with our groom speech advice. 

The Speechy team are TV scriptwriters by trade and our advice has featured everywhere from The New York Times  to  The Times . And, as the authors of ‘ The Modern Couple’s Guide to Wedding Speeches’ and the only speech experts invited on to BBC Sounds ‘Best Men’ podcast with Jason Manford we have all the advice to deliver a great speech on the big day. 

* Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out our  groom template ,  speech edit, or  bespoke service . Or, work with our new AI-powered team member – SpeechyAI!

Groom Speech Etiquette

The first rule of groom speech etiquette is – don’t get tied down with it. A lot of it’s outdated, blooming dull, and completely unnecessary. 

There’s no need to address your friends and family as ‘ladies and gentlemen’ (chances are they’re not), and you don’t need to toast the bridesmaids (though it is essential you say they’re gorgeous even if they’re already on their second bottle of Pinot).

Modern speech etiquette just comes down to common sense.

Don’t get so worried about thanking folk, that you forget what you’re actually meant to be doing. The bulk of your speech should not be thanking people but paying a once-in-a-lifetime tribute to your new wife! 

(And if you’re marrying a bloke, check out our gay groom etiquette guide ).

1. So, who does the groom thank?

The thank yous are, of course, important. Your marriage is frankly doomed if you forget to thank your mother-in-law.

The groom traditionally thanks;

• everyone for coming
• his in-laws
• his parents
• his best man & ushers
• the maid of honour & bridesmaids

As well the the obvious thank yous, there may be others you want to mention (children from previous relationships?) but resist the urge to read out half the guest list. Nothing kills off a groom speech quicker than a tedious thank you list.

Old school etiquette guides (like  Debretts ) suggest a groom’s first duty should be to thank the father of the bride (or equivalent) for his speech. Feel free to pay an ad hoc, ad-libbed thank you but make this a natural response as opposed to scripting a generic thanks. Ideally, pick up on something he’s said and have fun with it. 

Keep each individual thanks to less than 50 words and include a sense of fun throughout. Make the thank yous specific and personal – so rather than thanking your in-laws for bringing up such a wonderful daughter, thank them for sharing their wine collection with you. Getting personal not only makes the thank yous more meaningful, but entertaining too. 

Finally, don’t bother thanking anyone you’ve paid. No matter how lovely the venue staff or how much the wedding planner may have done, you shouldn’t waste your wordcount on people you’ve paid. 

2. How does a groom pay tribute to absent friends & the dearly departed? 

No need to mention any of your friends or family who haven’t been able to make it (unless they’re watching online). 

When it comes to the ‘dearly departed’ , this depends on how raw the emotions are. 

If it’s a parent or someone very close to you has recently died, we advise paying a meaningful tribute to them in the week leading up to the wedding. This is so the disappointment of them not being there on the big day, has already been acknowledged. Even if it’s just a casual dinner with family or a walk to one of their favourite spots with your partner, let the tears flow before you’re standing up, delivering your speech in front of everyone. 

On the day, be careful not to turn your speech into a eulogy. Instead, pay a tribute to your loved one by putting a smile on everyone’s face. 

Could the guests join you in a toast to your father by drinking his favourite malt whisky? Or could you point out the bride’s bouquet was made from her gran’s favourite flowers?

Our advice is keep it short, sweet and script it towards the end of your speech. So many grooms make the mistake of starting their speech when a toast to the ‘dearly departed’ but that’s often hard to recover from. 

3. Does the groom toast the bridesmaids? 

In the bad, old days, the groom was expected to conclude his speech with a toast to the bridesmaids. These days, that seems an odd idea. The groom certainly needs to thank the bride’s wedding-sidekicks (unless she’s giving a speech and thanking them herself), but that doesn’t need to be the climax of your speech.

At Speechy, we normally include a tribute to the bridesmaids just before the ushers’ & best man’s. Like all thank yous, try to say more than the usual wedding-platitudes and instead, give a sense of their individual or tribal character.  Once you’ve thanked the bride-squad, you don’t need to ask people to raise a glass or join you in an official ‘toast’.

Really, the only times you should ask people to raise a glass is at the end of your speech ( your final toast ) and in tribute to the dearly departed.  The stand-up, sit-down routine of including too many toasts can feel a bit ridiculous.

Your final toast should be directed towards your wife and your future life together. Read on to see how you can make that truly personal. 

4. Should the groom hand out gifts? 

Sure, the mums love a nice bouquet of flowers but let’s not make a big deal about it. And, certainly don’t deliver them during your speech!

We recommend giving any gifts earlier in the day (it’s more intimate and meaningful). Or, simply say in the speech that you’ll be ‘personally handing the gifts out later’ . This ensures the gift-giving doesn’t disrupt the flow of your speech and the guests don’t get distracted. 

5. How does the groom thank divorced parents? 

Tactfully. 

This will depend on, not just on your relationship with your parents (and, potentially, their other halves), but also their relationship with each other. 

Is there any chance your mum will start heckling if you wax too lyrical about your dad? 

Hopefully, any bad feeling can be put aside for the day but be sure to thank parents equally. If their new partners have been in your life for some time, don’t feel shy of mentioning them too. Divorced parents aren’t anything unusual. 

6. How does a groom address an international guestlist? 

Weddings with an international guestlist, where English isn’t everyone’s first language, are becoming more common. 

Some couples opt to recruit an interpreter to ensure no one misses out, but in our experience, this makes the speeches overly long and loses a speech’s natural charm and humour. 

What we suggest is having a few well-rehearsed lines where you attempt to address your international guests in their native tongue. It’s a chance to establish a connection, and also add a bit more humour to your speech. 

Make Your Groom Speech Funny

All speeches should be funny. No one’s expecting a stand-up routine but try to get everyone chuckling within the first 20 secs. It relaxes everyone, including you.

As you’ll see, being funny isn’t about finding jokes on the internet – it’s about making witty observations about your partner, yourself and your relationship.

Whatever you do – avoid Groom Speech ‘Jokes’ . You want to make your guests laugh, not groan. 

• ‘Without all of you here today, it wouldn’t have been the same… but it would have been cheaper.’
• ‘Let me tell you that is not the first time today I have risen from a warm seat with a bit of paper in my hand.’ And so on . . .

Basically, if the joke could be used in someone else’s wedding speech, it probably shouldn’t be in yours.

It might seem obvious that your wedding speech needs a good story in it but a lot of wedding speeches don’t .

They should.

Neuroscientists have discovered that our brains light up when we hear stories. It seems humans are programmed to be empathic; we’re literally designed to be curious about other people.

Finding cracking anecdotes (short stories) is a crucial part of creating a great speech. A story doesn’t need to be long. It doesn’t need to be extraordinary. It just has to reveal something about you as a couple and make folk laugh.

The cornerstones of any relationship are likely to be interesting and here’s a list of the classic ‘love stories’ to consider…  

• How you met
• The first date
• Meeting the parents
• Moving in together
• When you discovered they weren’t actually perfect
• Any embarrassing anecdotes
• Any challenges you’ve overcome together 
• Any classic stories that you’ve enjoyed telling friends and that still make you laugh

Sometimes you need a few prompts to get that brain working, like their online profile that claimed a passion for history but didn’t quite reveal this ‘interest’ would involve you having to visit military museums in every town and country you go to with them.

See if you can hunt down…

• Your online dating profiles (if you met there).
• If you met at work, do you still have your contract or job description? It could it be used for comedy purposes.
• If you’re childhood sweethearts, hunt out the school reports.
• And, obviously, look back at your photos through the years. This will inevitably trigger memories but don’t consider using them as part of your speech.

Speechy’s favourite brand of comedy is based on observation. It’s also the easiest to master.

Comedians have a skilled eye when it comes to noticing the strange things in life that we take for granted but it’s often just about taking the time to look.

Everyone in this world is weird in their very own way, so get a mirror and hold it up to your relationship. Question your behaviour, habits and unwritten rules. Look at the everyday frustrations and recurring issues.

We can all relate to other people’s relationships, and people appreciate it if you talk honestly about yours. Okay, not everyone’s partners put sweet chilli sauce on their toast for breakfast but everyone can appreciate having a partner with weird habits.

To make observational humour work, the trick is to be as specific as possible. Even positive qualities can be humorous if you dissect them.

The callback is where you plant a story or a piece of info at the start of the speech, possibly as a throwaway line, and then reference it later on. 

Watch professional comedians on stage and you’ll see nearly all of them deploy the technique. It’s not only funny, it’s a technique that makes you look smart. Win-win. 

For example, share that story where you accidentally stapled your shoe to the floor when you renovated your first house together. Later, conclude your speech by saying ‘…I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, even if I do have to staple your shoes to the floor to make sure you’re by my side forever more.’

The callback is basically establishing an inside joke that everyone is part of.

To make it work

• Plant something funny, and crucially, memorable in the first third of your speech.
• Then simple refer to it towards the end of your speech.

Voila. You’ve become a comedy pro.

Check out some  groom speech videos  we’ve collated, or have a read of  Boris Johnson’s wedding speech  as imagined by the Speechy Team. It will give you an idea of how professional comedy writers craft humorous lines.

Read our example groom speeches and a groom speech written by SpeechyAI . 

Of course, if all this advice has done nothing but convince you, you need help – then jump straight to  all the different ways the Speechy team can help you , including  SpeechyAI ; a genius tool we’ve built that’s guaranteed to help you develop unique and hilarious lines. Honestly, it’s bloody good. 

How to Write & Deliver Your Groom Speech

Here are the basic rules.

If you’re reading this, probably now. 

Don’t wait for divine inspiration to strike. It rarely does. 

We advise sitting down at least two months before the big day and committing pen to paper (or at least, turn off your notifications and type a few hundreds words). 

Once you start, it gets easier. Even when you’re not sitting in front of the laptop, once you’ve genuinely engaged your brain in the process of speechwriting, it will work on a subconscious level for you. You’ll find when you get back to the screen, you’ll have plenty more ideas. 

And, of course, it’s always easier improving a speech than it is starting one. 

Speechy generally advise…

• Hello, welcome & a laugh
• The Speech-Meat – Where you tell a few great stories that give an insight into your relationship and why you love your new spouse as much as you do. 
• Acknowledgement of the dearly departed (if necessary)
• A final more romantic tribute to your wife
• A toast to your wife / your future life together 

This structure may be different to most speeches you’ve heard. Many speakers automatically start with the thank yous but, as important as they may be, they are not what really interests your guests.

Get to the thank yous once you’ve already hooked everyone in. 

Don’t script a thank you to the previous speaker as the opening to your speech. Make this thank you a spontaneous ad lib before you obviously start delivering your speech. This makes the thank you sound like a genuine, heartfelt reaction rather than a ‘tick-box’ courtesy.

We see lots of grooms fill the first 30 seconds of their speech with absolute nonsense. Talking about guests traveling far. What a special occasion it is. Pure cut-and-paste jobs.

Start by trying to get a laugh early 

“Greetings, party people! They told me marriage is all about compromise. Well, I’ve already compromised my ability to choose what I wear for the rest of my life.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the [your last name] Comedy Club! I’ll be your stand-up comedian for the evening, and [spouse’s name] is my favorite heckler.”

• “Hello, world-changers! Today, [spouse’s name] and I embark on a journey filled with love, laughter, and a joint bank account. Pray for us.”
• “Good evening, everybody! Today, I’ve officially joined the ‘Happily Ever After’ club. Membership fee: my independence. Benefits: endless love and an occasional ‘Yes, dear.'”

Every word should count, so you could consider forgetting the ‘hellos’ altogether. The trick is to make the opening personal. 

ALTERNATIVE OPENINGS

• Jump right in. ‘So we’ve finally done it. Sophie has agreed to put up with mefor the rest of her life and I’ve got that in writing.’
• Short and snappy.   ‘Well, let’s start with the elephant in the room. Why has the gorgeous bride just married a bright orange lad from Croydon who can’t spell?’
• Start with a story. ‘Let me tell you a story… when I first saw Lucy, sitting in the bar, reading a book in the middle of the Saturday night chaos, I knew I had to speak to her. Only she was too absorbed in his John Grisham to notice me.’

A speech theme is your narrative hook. 

Rather than just a list of anecdotes and thanks yous, your speech should tell a story.

Yes, it’s made up of lots of different elements but it needs to hook people in from the beginning, establish a theme and carry that through to an almighty climax.

One basic example might be a teacher who talks about the lessons his wife has taught – the good, the bad and the ability to now name the Kardashians.

Another theme might be the groom’s interpretation of his marriage vows (e.g. man flu does indeed count as ‘sickness’).

Turning your speech into a story makes it easy to follow and entertaining. Find out #whatsyourstory

A heart-warming tribute to your partner should be the focus of your speech but every groom thinks his spouse is gorgeous, kind and generally amaaaaazing.

The only way for this to sound genuine is – prove, don’t tell. Resist too many adjectives and recount the anecdotes that show your partner’s qualities in action.

Cut the clichés and concentrate on what makes your loved one unique. Avoid words like ‘soulmate’ or ‘beautiful’, anything that’s overused.

Are they a library-lover, a technology fiend, a devoted foodie? Nailing their individual and quirky characteristics shows you ‘get them’ and her friends and family will love you for it.

ROMANCE DON’Ts

• Be generic – If your romantic lines could be substituted into a stranger’s wedding speech, well, you’re doing something wrong. Romance demands that you get personal.
• Be smug – Being married for a few hours does not grant you the right to be a smug-married yet. Remember there’s likely to be single people out there so resist the urge to suggest finding a life-partner is the only reason for living. You don’t want the bridesmaids crying before 5pm!
• Use meaningless clichés and platitudes – Seriously, ‘soulmate’ is a waste of your word count. What about ‘partner-in-crime’ instead?
• Overuse adjectives – Avoid using too many adjectives and prove , don’t tell. Use evidence to back up your claims.

ROMANCE DOs

Make sure you…

• Remember romance doesn’t need to be serious – You can deliver the sweetest lines with a smile on your face.
• Concentrate on what makes your partner unique – The most powerful way to be romantic is finding the qualities and quirks that make your partner truly unique.
• If you’re struggling for a killer line, get inspired by our Groom Speech Quotes . While plagiarism is never cool, quoting people who are cleverer & wittier than you, is legit. 

A good toast summarises the point of your speech.  It provides great storytelling symmetry and is a call to action for everyone present.

The toast itself needs to be succinct enough to propose it and people to second it. It’s essentially a contract, so be concise.

Examples of great groom toasts…  

“To my incredible bride, my partner in crime, and the one who manages to tolerate my terrible dance moves. Here’s to a lifetime of love, laughter, and pretending not to notice when I sneak in extra snacks. Cheers!”

“As we dive into this marriage adventure, let’s raise our glasses to surviving my occasional snoring and her knack for finding the TV remote in the most mysterious places. May our love be as unbreakable as her ability to beat me at board games. Cheers!”

“To the love of my life, thank you for saying ‘I do’ despite witnessing my questionable fashion choices and the fact that I can never find matching socks. May our marriage be as enduring as my video game sessions and as exciting as finding pizza in the fridge when we thought it was all gone. Here’s to us!”

“In the spirit of wedded bliss, let’s toast to a lifetime of love, compromise, and navigating the dangerous territory of choosing the right side of the bed. May our marriage be as smooth as my hair never is and as full of surprises as her unexpected dance parties in the living room. Cheers to us!”

“To my beautiful bride, thank you for being the ‘better’ half, the one who always knows where we parked, and the expert in finding lost items, including my car keys. May our marriage be as rock-solid as your morning coffee routine and as fun as our impromptu karaoke nights. Here’s to love, laughter, and a lifetime of hilarious memories!”

A maximum of ten mins allowing for laughter and ad-libs. You might feel you have plenty to say but be strict with yourself.

Once you write your first draft, edit it down to half the length. We promise it will make it twice as good. No one ever watched a wedding speech and thought ‘if only it were longer’. It’s the same with jokes; they’re better if they’re punchy.

Ernest Hemingway said ‘The first draft of anything is shit’. This is both true and reassuring.

The edit-process might mean cutting some of your favourite bits but you need to wipe out the waffle and cut out the cliches. Lots of sites offer quick estimates of your speech duration based on your wordcount.

And, if you’re still struggling to make the brutal cuts necessary, remember to check out our Edit Service. We’re not shy about getting tucked in! 

A confident delivery is half the battle. Check the acoustics of the venue & get a mic if necessary (so many speeches are ruined simply because the guests can’t hear them).

Try to memorise the speech but don’t be afraid to use notes on the day (your brain will be scrambled).

Talk slower than feel natural (makes you sound more confident) & leave pauses for laughter (sometimes people need a moment to ‘get it’).

Keep your posture relaxed and remember everyone wants you to do well so make sure you smile. It’s scientifically proven to be infectious and scientists know stuff.

Read our Delivery Guide for more tips.

PRE-DELIVERY CHECKLIST

• Have a snack – An empty stomach isn’t good for nerves. It may be the last thing you fancy but stuff a handful of canapes down or have a Mars bar on hand.
• Don’t drink alcohol – Studies have shown even one glass of alcohol can reduce your public speaking skills. 
• Drink water – A glass of water a few minutes prior to speaking will ensure you don’t dry up.
• Look for friendly faces in the audience – And at different points of the room.

ON THE MIC CHECKLIST

• Stand up, breathe deep and smile.
• Remember your presenting principles.
• Laugh along – Sometimes people need the visual cue that what you’ve said is funny. (I know, people are idiots). And, as we know, laughter is infectious so make sure you exploit it!
• If you’re being filmed – see the camera as an extra friend. It works really well when you come to watch it back.
• Be prepared for audience interaction. It’s unlikely you’ll get hecklers but some people like to ‘get involved’. It’s good to have a few witty responses in your back pocket. For example…
• (If it’s a free bar) ‘And that’s why the free bar ends after the first drink…’
• (If it’s not a free bar) ‘And that’s why you don’t get a free bar…’
• ‘There are some RSVPs you read with tears in your eyes.’

Speech Do's

Check with your partner.

If they aren’t giving a speech then you’re speaking on behalf of them too. If nothing else, make sure they’re happy with your thank you list.

Make the thanks yous meaningful

Don’t just talk about what people have contributed to the wedding, thank them for what they’ve contributed to your life (even if it is just an appreciation on malt whiskeys).

Make your toast unique

Drink to ‘a lifetime of dancing on tables’ or consider a #Tequilatoast

Practise your speech and film it on your phone

Watch it back, promise yourself you’ll do something about your gut and spot where your speech can be improved.

Feel free to use clever quotes

But make sure you credit the author or someone else will! Check out our Groom Quote Inspiration guide.

Speech Don'ts

Don't thank the caterers, the venue, people who have travelled far etc..

It’s unnecessary.

Don't ignore the feedback of friends

It’s always worth testing your speech on a mate, but this means you have to listen to them. If someone doesn’t get a joke, don’t waste your time explaining it as you won’t be able to do that on the day.

Don't talk over laughter

You’ve worked hard for those laughs – don’t rush them. Always wait until your guests have settled down before continuing with your speech.

Don't get overly soppy

Get the balance right between sweet and just showing off. Leave the pet names at home and keep anything overly gushing for the bedroom. Remember, sometimes a couple of lines expressing your love, can be just as powerful as 20. 

Groom Speech Advice - Let us help you!

If you want to deliver a legendary speech, work with us.

We’re rated  ‘excellent’ on Trustpilot and that’s why we offer a DELIGHT GUARANTEE  on all our bespoke services.

And, of course, in the world of Zoom, Whatsapp and Death Wish Coffee, we work with grooms around the world.

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