case study 3 helping out a friend

1) Case Study 3: Helping out a friend Thomas is suspended from work...

1) Case Study 3: Helping out a friend

Thomas is suspended from work and a disciplinary investigation process is in progress.

Thomas calls, Ben, who works in the HR department.

Ben is a friend of his from years ago. They used to play football together and often go out for drinks on Thomas's nights off. They arrange to meet at the pub that night.

Thomas buys Ben a beer and fills him in on what has happened - he has been wrongfully suspended from work! According to Thomas, Kelly has thrown herself at him during night shift and when he threatened to report her, she got in first and said it was him who assaulted her!

Ben had heard something about the suspension and was very glad to hear that his friend was not in the wrong.

Thomas asks Ben if he could get the disciplinary file out of the HR Manager's office and photocopy it for him so he knows what is happening in the investigation. This will help him as he will be able to see Kelly's statement and what the investigator has said in the report. 

He needs the information before he goes in front of the investigation committee next week.

If Ben can get the report, Thomas promises that he will never tell anyone.

Ben feels sorry for his friend and the next day he works back late. He finds the HR Manager's office key and 'borrows' the file. He makes a copy.

On his way home he drops in at the pub and gives Thomas the photocopies. Ben can't believe the lies that Kelly has told about Thomas in her statement - he feels really sorry for his friend as it looks like it will just be Kelly's word against his, and everyone knows that the female is always believed over the male in a sexual assault case!

Thomas buys Ben another drink. 'Cheers,' Thomas says as they clink bottles. Thomas grins widely.

A)What legislation, Acts or codes does this situation breach? Provide an explanation to support your answer

B)Describe the implications (risks, consequences, penalties) that could arise to both Thomas, Ben, Kelly and the employer as a result of this situation

C)Describe the responsibilities of Ben, the HR manager and the employer

D)Imagine you were the manager. Explain how you would respond to this situation if this occurred at your workplace. Include reference to legal compliance, policies and procedures, training requirements, monitoring and compliance review and assessment.

2)C ase Study 4: Revising the procedure

Jenny works in the local neighbourhood centre in the administration department. Jenny's department is responsible for ordering and storing stationery for the entire centre.

The procedure for receiving orders of stationery the centre reads as follows:  

SAFE WORK PROCEDURE - DELIVERIES AND STORAGE OF STATIONERY

The administration staff will be responsible for accepting and storing stationary orders.

  When stationery orders are delivered, check the content of the delivery to ensure it matches the delivery docket.

  Sign the delivery company's documentation.

  Immediately move stationery received into the storeroom. If the box is too heavy, ask another worker to assist with moving the box.

  Unpack the stationery and store it as follows:

-         Small items for everyday use - store on low and middle shelves.

-         One box of photocopy paper to be split into individual reams and stored on easy to reach shelf.

-         Remainder of boxes of photocopy paper to be stored (in boxes) on top shelf.

-          Staff must use the ladder provided to lift the boxes onto the top shelf.  

Yesterday Jenny received a large order of stationery. She was busy with other work so she asked Martin to help her so she could get through it faster.

One of the boxes was very heavy, so Martin said he would move it to the storeroom. Jenny offered to help, but he said he was fine. Unfortunately Martin tripped over his own feet when he was moving the box and fell down the small step that led into the storeroom. 

He had to be taken to hospital - he had fractured his wrist.

After all the drama of Martin's accident died down, Jenny decided to put all the stationery away herself.

She had almost got everything done, but the last items were six boxes of photocopy paper. Jenny used the ladder as instructed by the procedures to put the boxes on the top shelf. By the time she got to the fourth box she was exhausted - it was hard work lifting boxes up a ladder!

Just was she was about to put the box on the shelf, her foot slipped on the ladder step. She fell onto the floor - thankfully the box did not hit her! However, Jenny still ended up with cuts on her leg from the metal ladder, and lots of bruises and a very sore ankle and arm.

Naomi is the new manager of the neighbourhood centre. She has been on the job for not even two weeks. She is horrified that two accidents could occur on the same day, and in the same place.

Naomi investigates the incident and when she reads the procedure she is shocked at the manual handling processes that staff are being advised to carry out. She is surprised there hasn't been more serious accidents.

She knows the procedure must be fixed immediately!

A) Revise the neighbourhood centre's procedure so it correctly advises staff how to use safe manual handling procedures. You may like to refer to the Code of Practice for Manual Handling for your state or territory. 

For example: Code of Practice for Manual Handling No 25, Worksafe Victoria, April 2000 http://www.worksafe.vic.gov.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0003/9426/COP25_manualhandling.pdf

B)Suggest three other actions that Naomi could take to make the storage process safer

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• 3 Friendship Case Studies

“Friendship is the rare kind of relationship that remains forever available to us as we age,” Jennifer Senior noted in an Atlantic piece last year. “It’s a bulwark against stasis, a potential source of creativity and renewal in lives that otherwise narrow with time.” And yet, despite all of its virtues and joys, many of us find friendship something we puzzle over as grown-ups: how to make friends? How to keep friends? How to care for our friends, and find time to actually enjoy their company? After all, says Senior, once we graduate, “we are ritual-deficient, nearly devoid of rites that force us together.”

And so, as adults, we must develop our own friendship practices, habits, and rhythms. Because I’m personally always looking for inspiration, I thought it might be fun to share a few “case studies” of successful friendships in my own life. They’re anonymous, but only lightly so – if you’ve been here awhile, you’ll surely know who I’m talking about. All part of the fun :)

This post turned out to be extravagantly long, so I’ve split it into two parts – three today and three in a future edition!

Case Study No. 1: The former coworkers turned friends

How we met: We worked together at a small business. I worked there first, and advocated for L’s hiring – we had connected via our blogs while she was still in college. From her writing, I knew she would be perfect for the role, and we were kindred spirits from the start once we finally met in person. (Still are :))

K and I have a particularly good meet-cute: the first time we met, at a reader event I was hosting for work, she came up to me and blurted out, “I know where you live.” Not creepy at all, ha!

How we got close: L and I sat next to each other five days a week for several years, and together the three of us (along with other beloved teammates!) road tripped, squealed over major business victories, survived one particularly painful team-building activity, sweated buckets at photo shoots, celebrated engagements and new babies, frolicked across fields in – there’s no other word for it – ballgowns, and much, much more. Small business life is not for the faint of heart, and relationships often grow deep and strong as you navigate it together.

How we stay close: Though we met as coworkers, we no longer work together. This could have been the end – I have said goodbye to many coworkers throughout my career, and without the regular face time (physical or virtual) of the workweek (and the chance to share the tiny details of life over Slack or while gathering for a meeting), it’s impossible to maintain the same type of relationship.

And so transition becomes necessary. Sometimes this is to a more distant, but benevolent, relationship. Other times – as in this one – you find a way to forge something new AND close.

As COVID lockdowns loosened a bit in August 2020, the three of us tucked kids into bed and met up on L’s back porch with glasses of Prosecco and bowls of popcorn. And then we talked for 2-3 hours, so happy to be together in person. Before we parted ways, we put a date on the calendar for our next get-together, and we’ve been doing it ever since.

What we’ve overcome: Navigating our transitions from coworkers to friends was challenging for me. Because we were used to seeing each other during the workday, we had no established rhythms to be together outside of work, and so in some ways felt we were starting from scratch with figuring out what our friendship would look like.

In both cases, I also dealt with feelings of betrayal when they decided to leave the business (and I stayed behind). It’s painful to admit, but I harbored bitterness for months that poisoned our relationship, at least on my side. To move past it, after clearly feeling God ask me to make a move, I had to initiate a dedicated conversation where I shared what I had been feeling and apologized. It was one of the scariest conversations I’ve ever had, but I’m so glad I had it. We would not have the friendship we have today without it.

What I love about our friendship: We’ve been through a lot together, and these ladies GET me: multi-state road trips leave lots of time for conversation. We’ve met each other’s families. We’ve celebrated and mourned with each other through major life events.

I love that the three of us are both different and the same. Many of the things that matter most to us we hold in common, but we are wildly different in other ways, with different personalities and interests and areas of expertise. I also love that our ages are slightly staggered – between the three of us, we span about eight years – which brings an interesting flavor to our conversations and allows us to speak into each other’s lives in unique ways.

I love that meeting up so regularly allows the tiny dramas of life to spool out in a way that engenders closeness: there’s always something to catch up on when we’re together, and yet there are never big gaps we need to fill.

And finally, if you’ve met these two ladies, you know ANYONE would consider themselves lucky to be their friend. They are supremely talented, extravagantly generous, passionate about all the right things, and just plain fun to be around.

Case Study No. 2: The couple friends

How we met: N was a photographer I met through work practically in my first month on the job. I started to read her blog, and when I saw she and her husband liked to play Settlers of Catan (a somewhat niche interest!), sent a VERY bold and uncharacteristic email offering to get together to play, if they wanted.

How we got close: They did, and we did, and we’ve been playing board games ever since. Things took a turn a few years in when we went camping together – there’s nothing like conversations around a campfire, or seeing someone un-showered first thing in the morning, to bump a relationship up a level. Since we were friends before any of us had children, we had time for long, honest conversations about the things that matter to us, like generosity, marriage, family, faith, travel, and, yes, eventually the decision to have kids .

How we stay close: Camping. Always camping, every year. It’s a guaranteed check-in where we know we’ll be able to connect and go beyond surface conversation, even if we have to brave bugs and dirt to do so.

Other than that, in this season of life we make do with infrequent get-togethers, like dinners at one of our homes with all seven of our kids and the occasional double date night.

I also consider myself the number one fan of her podcast and will frequently text her my commentary and feedback :)

What we’ve overcome: We’ve overcome physical distance. We’ve never lived particularly close to each other, but the distance was easier to overcome in our kid-free days, when no one was paying for babysitters and driving 40 minutes for a game night was nothing.

We’ve also bridged difference. Though we share many important things in common, we’ve also made different choices on church, education for our kids, work, type of neighborhood, and more. It’s easy to judge or feel judged when your loved ones choose differently from you, and I’m proud that our friendship is stronger than that.

What I love about our friendship: One thing I treasure about our relationship is that I like to think we learn from each other. I know I have personally learned SO much from N and from watching N and W’s relationship over the years. And this is the beauty of difference – if you’re exactly the same, there’s no room to grow :)

Case Study No. 3: The group of friends

How we met: A mostly-online friend who had just moved to the area approached me about starting a monthly discussion group, and I enthusiastically agreed. We issued open invitations on our blogs, opened our homes to perfect strangers, and the rest, as they say, is history.

How we got close: Seven years later, four gals from that first night are still in the club. The other eight joined us over time – some, blog readers who responded to periodic open invitations, others who knew someone on the inside :)

The most obvious way that we got close is because 1) we met regularly – every single month, without fail, and 2) every time, we discussed things that mattered over several hours. I mean, if you want a formula for developing a deep relationship, I don’t think you can do much better than that. There were a few other key factors over the years, though:

About a year in, we decided to hold our discussion over dinner instead of over wine and snacks. There’s something about cooking for each other and sharing a meal that engenders familiarity.

During the pandemic, we found creative ways to meet – on Zoom, bundled in ridiculous layers of clothing around a fire pit, on blankets in the park with takeout boxes on our laps. In a time starved for companionship and rife with things to discuss, we had each other.

Finally, we started a group text thread. This might sound inconsequential, but it provided an immediacy to our friendship that hadn’t existed before, as we didn’t chat much outside of our monthly gatherings. Now, we’re a part of each other’s lives in a more mundane way that is beyond delightful.

How we stay close: Yes, it’s the fact that we meet monthly. But to go one level deeper, I’ve got to give credit to my co-founder, who sends the email that confirms our date each month, another a few days before that reminds us where and when we’re meeting and what we’re reading, and creates a SignUp Genius link for our meal. She’d tell you it’s nothing, but it’s not . Organizational skills are one type of glue that holds friend groups together, and that’s certainly the case in ours.

What we’ve overcome: This group has never felt rocky, which is both shocking – considering the controversial, personal, and deeply meaningful things we discuss – and a deep testament to these women. I also think it signals a truth our modern, very online, culture seems designed to conceal: that there are very few people you wouldn’t love if you spent time with them, around a table, in good faith.

What I love about our friendship: I mean, so many things – I’ve waxed poetic many times over the years :) But man – that text thread! Everyone needs one in their life! A smattering of topics from the last week: line-drying clothing, Demon Copperhead , OB/Gyn recs, Amazon + One Medical, someone’s cute new tennis bag , thank you note methodology, an undershirt for sweaters , everyone’s favorite types of butter, where to donate dress pants, and an absolute deluge of hype over one member’s marathon finish that qualified her for the Boston Marathon (!!!). It’s also an official rule that you must share a selfie after you get a haircut.

If you’re in need of a local recommendation, have something exciting to share, something you want to discuss, something you need an opinion on or a cheerleader for anything at all – this is your thread. Everyone needs one!

Up next: a church friend, a neighborhood friend, and either a preschool friend or a long-distance friend – you tell me which you’d prefer! :) I’d also love to hear something that moved you closer to one of your friends, if you’d like to share.

P.S. The best way I’ve found to regularly see my friends .

In search of photos to use in this post, I searched “flower” in my camera roll and these were three favorites that popped up: an iPhone snap from one of the last SW photo shoots, sunflowers at Dix Park, and a backyard centerpiece plucked from our garden. Also, affiliate links are used in this post!

Grateful to be a part of one of these groups! :) Also, did not know you all were Settlers of Catan fans – we love this game as well and have found it’s quite polarizing.

Selfishly, I would be interested in both preschool and distance – currently in the preschool throws and also I have a dear friend moving at the end of this year.

We played so much back in the day, pre-kids – we liked to play a very elaborate combo of original, Cities and Knights, and Seafarers that was pretty epic, ha!

Love it! Vote for preschool friend ????

“I also think it signals a truth our modern, very online, culture seems designed to conceal: that there are very few people you wouldn’t love if you spent time with them, around a table, in good faith.”  Wow, wow, wow. The wisdom in this will stay with me. I love these stories!!

As someone who lives an expat life, where for work reasons we move every few years, I think this is so true. In each new country, we start again, looking for people to be friends with and a community to be part of… and to do that, we honestly cling to any source of connection (oh you also have curly hair, let’s be friends! You also have a garden, let’s get together. Oh your kids also speak English- great, who cares how old they are). We have made such wonderful friends with people much older, much younger, of different faiths, with different values– and each of them adds something amazing to our lives. I wonder what life would be like at ‘home’ if we did this too, and sought out similarities rather than focusing on differences. I bet we would all have richer, more diverse friend groups and far more fulfilling lives.

Love this so much, Danae (and cracked up at the commonalities you’ll leap on to start a new friendship, ha). Seriously, though, one of my friend swears by a genuine clothing compliment as the perfect way to strike up a conversation with someone new, and she’s not wrong!

What a delightful lunch time read! Thank you so much for this lovely post. If my family of origin (including extended family) and family of creation (my spouse and my children) are the goodness that make the cake, than my friends are the icing on the cake. Love that your post inspired reflection on the sweetness that friendship brings to my life!

What a lovely way to describe family and friends!

I love this post! What a clever way to write about friendships. Now I’m thinking about my friendships and how I could categorize them into case studies. I vote for the long-distance friend because all of my friends from school are now long-distance.

I always love your thoughts and truly have felt so lucky to call you a friend! I have found going first to be one of the most potent ways of deepening both old and new friendships- sharing the vulnerable parts of my life rather than keeping the conversation at surface level. Another is praying for that friend before I see her always grows my heart towards her! When I take time to pray for her I find that the conversation and questions are much more intentional and I am a far better listener. :-)

This is the sweetest. So grateful for you, friend!

THE TEXT THREAD THOUGH. Forever grateful to you all for willingly folding me back into the group after our DC departure! ???? (And another vote for the preschool friend!)

Well THAT was never in question! We are just so lucky to have you back!!

Oh I love this so much, it makes me miss all my friends I moved away from recently! I vote for long-distance friend as I feel that everyone else studied are local friends. I’m still in the accumulating acquaintances phase before I start seeing who I really click with.

Love this! I feel very blessed to have a life full of dear friends. I appreciate your honesty about the bitter feelings, and also I would never have thought to be so grateful for Steph’s monthly logistical email and sign up genius, but you are so right! It is not nothing. One of my best friends and I get together most weeks for a walk. Always the same spot and we’ll usually just text until we find a good mutual time that week. Sometimes it varies on the amount of kids that come along and sometimes it’s just us, but walking for an hour is free and easy and great catch-up time!

You know how I feel about walks! The glue that holds so many relationships in my life together!

I really enjoyed this post – it gave me so much to think about regarding my own friendships. My vote is for the long-distance friend! I feel like I am still learning how to navigate being thousands of miles away from friends. I struggle with ways to stay connected (without feeling like I’m the only one making an effort to stay in touch).

You and me both, Sarah!

This couldn’t have been more timely! We‘ll have our very first articles club meeting and it’s about friendship!! This post makes me even more excited about it – if that is possible. I‘d love both preschool and long-distance friend! But if you make me choose, I’ll choose long-distance. Fortunately/unfortunately I have lots of those.

Kerstin, this makes me so very happy!! Steph and I have been helping another articles club get started in our area and it’s the sweetest to see it spread!

Preschool friend, please! Thank you :))

I’d love to hear about your long-distance friend! Most of my best friends are a flight away and it’s a challenge! Would love to hear how you nurture that relationship.

Friendship, a timely topic and so important right now given the significant number of people who have reported having no friends and feeling lonely. You might be interested in this podcast from my job, or maybe you’ve already listened/read about this: https://www.apa.org/news/podcasts/speaking-of-psychology/happy-life I’d be interested in the preschool friend. Most of my friends fall into the “friends who became moms” category. So I’m curious about how people acquire friends in the “mom from school, who is now a friend” category.

I can’t wait to listen!

I loved this post, it made me think deeply about my own friendships in the best way! Another vote for both preschool and long distance friendship here :)

Like Mary Poppins and Virginia’s cucumber sammy thingies we’ll hopefully get to eat next month, this was practically perfect in every way ♥️♥️♥️

Absolutely loved this post, Em! I love sharing about friendship, and this was an amazing way. Thank you for the inspiration x

Such an amazing and thoughtful post! It was especially refreshing to read the “What We’ve Overcome” sections, as it’s easy to look at established friendships as perfect or without awkwardness, but that’s simply not true!

Well, several parts of this post had me tearing up!! Very, very grateful for your bold email all those years ago that brought us together (and our memorable evening of Winston peeing all over the carpet while we played Catan! Ha! And you still called us friends!!) What a gift you and John are to us, Em. I know my comment just gave us away but since I’m a little late to the comment party, hopefully it didn’t matter too much. Love you and our camping trips more than you know (even when we are the worst at getting dates on the calendar!)

hi! my name is em.

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• Blogging Q&A, Part Two: Content
• Blogging Q&A, Part One: Nuts and Bolts
• Fall fun list 2021
• Morning smoothies
• Back-to-school dinner 2021
• What I'll remember about summer 2021
• September 2021 goals
• Fall outfit inspiration
• Shep's favorites at three years
• August 2021 goals
• How we're getting ready for kindergarten
• The meaning of Susanna's name
• Say hello to Susanna
• 2021 mid-year goals review
• Making a Big List and some to dos for baby girl
• July 2021 goals
• Backyard garden party baby shower
• All About Meal Trains
• Our maternity family photos with Ally & Bobby
• How to Make the Introduction of a New Sibling More Joyful
• June 2021 goals
• Third trimester update
• John's Instagram wardrobe
• Life lately
• Baking with June
• Parenting resources I love to learn from
• May 2021 goals
• Our plan for baby girl's nursery
• Our spring break trip to Jekyll Island
• Marvelous Money: Investing 101
• Maternity Family Photo Planning
• April 2021 goals
• How to organize kids clothing
• Screen-free road trip tips with preschoolers
• The third Baby Thomas is a...
• Prepping for Easter baskets
• Deciding to have a third child
• Morning and evening skincare routine in my mid-30's
• More happy news to share
• March 2021 goals
• 34 questions for a 34th birthday, part two
• 34 questions for a 34th birthday
• Master bedroom refresh inspiration
• Children and the passing of time
• A bright and cheerful kids' bathroom
• February 2021 goals
• Why we love participating in research studies
• Our Valentine's Day mailbox
• January 2021 goals
• My 2021 reading list
• 2020: A year in review
• 2020 Books Review
• 2020 Christmas cards from Minted
• Best of 2020 - with friends!
• Family camping at Blue Bear Mountain Camp
• 2020 Gift Guide: Stocking Stuffers
• December 2020 goals
• 2020 Gift Guide: Your Favorite Grown-Ups
• Sheptember: Volume Two
• Our trip to Highlands, NC
• Christmas accoutrements
• November 2020 goals
• Our review of June's big-kid bike - the Priority Start 16"
• Five years of Articles Club
• Favorite Instant Pot recipes
• Four-year-old favorites
• October 2020 goals
• My favorite episodes from the Work & Play podcast
• June in June: Volume 5
• Marvelous Money: Our net worth meetings
• Banned phrases in our marriage
• Our summer trip to Mystic, CT
• The best guacamole recipe
• Em's guide to photo organization, part three: printed photo albums
• September 2020 goals
• Upstairs bathroom renovation: the plans
• Em's guide to photo organization, part two: digital photos
• Quarantine reflections
• Everyday magic, Octonauts edition
• Island in a pandemic
• Em's guide to photo organization, part one
• August 2020 goals
• Our Berkshires vacation
• Our favorite at-home, hands-off activities for kids
• Our favorite summer recipes right now
• Kitchen quick tip
• Neely & Chloe wallet + new handbag
• July 2020 goals
• Inspiration for a stay-at-home Fourth of July
• 2020 mid-year goals review, part two
• 2020 mid-year goals review, part one
• Raising kids I like
• Making the everyday magical: muffin tin snack trays
• Diverse books to add to your family library
• June 2020 goals
• How I meal plan
• How to make a recipe binder
• Our new front porch gate
• What I've been reading lately
• May 2020 goals
• An easy meal-planning hack
• Earth-friendly swaps in our home
• What's growing in our garden this year
• Easter Weekend 2020
• A recipe exchange!
• April 2020 goals
• This year's Easter baskets
• What's making me smile right now
• The beauty of quiet time
• My chalk paint desk and downstairs command center
• Em's Marvelous North Carolina Bucket List
• March 2020 goals
• Help us plan our trip to Watercolor, Atlanta, and Greenville!
• How to unhurry your life
• How I'm using Instagram right now
• February 2020 goals
• 9 decisions that led to a life I love
• Our most-loved kitchen items
• Sheptember: Volume One
• The birthday interview
• January 2020 goals
• My 2020 reading list
• 2019: A year in review
• Our 2019 Christmas cards + mini session
• Camping with 5 kids under 5
• Best of 2019 - with friends!
• What we're actually giving our kiddos this Christmas
• All about our 70-mile bike ride
• December 2019 goals
• 2019 Gift Guide: Kiddo Stocking Stuffers
• 2019 Gift Guide: Your Favorite Kiddos
• 2019 Gift Guide: Your Favorite Grown-Ups
• 6 things on my November holiday checklist
• June in June: Volume 4
• Gifts for the helpers
• Kale, sausage, and chickpea pasta
• November 2019 goals
• Words with friends: year four of Articles Club
• Being a patron
• October 2019 goals
• Shep's first birthday party
• Simple toy storage in our family room
• Dating after kids
• Marriage Q&A, Part 2
• Marriage Q&A, Part 1
• September 2019 goals
• Marvelous Money: Our new mortgage plan
• No makeup days
• Once more to Maine
• The best book I ever read (as told by 17 book lovers)
• How to host a book swap party
• Family favorite: chocolate raspberry pavlova
• August 2019 goals
• Transitioning from 1 to 2 Kiddos: Part Three
• Outer Banks family vacation in Corolla
• July 2019 goals
• If you're going to give, give graciously
• Transitioning from 1 to 2 Kiddos: Part Two
• Mid-year goals review
• June 2019 Goals
• Transitioning from 1 to 2 Kiddos: Part One
• May 2019 Goals
• Marvelous Money: 10 of my favorite purchases
• Our neighborhood meal swap
• Tips for finding the right daycare
• April 2019 goals
• An easy way to print and display Instagram photos
• Easter basket picks
• Favorite board games for two people
• March 2019 goals
• The Years of Making Magic
• On having family close by
• Shep's New England-Inspired Nursery
• Shep's newborn photos by Anagram Photo
• The story of Shep's birth
• February 2019 goals
• What John does
• Those Winter Sundays
• Three-year-old favorites
• June takes ballet
• January 2019 goals
• 2018: A year in review
• Our 2018 Christmas cards and newsletter!
• 2018 Gift Guide: Husbands, Dads, and Brothers
• December 2018 goals
• 2018 Gift Guide: Parents, Grandparents, and In-Laws
• 2018 Gift Guide: Sisters, Moms, and Best Friends
• What to wear for large group family photos
• Two house guest hacks
• November 2018 goals
• Halloween charcuterie
• Where there is vision
• Marvelous City Guide: Asheville
• What we read this year in Articles Club
• Marvelous Money: The Tax Benefits of an HSA
• October 2018 goals
• A marvelous giveaway
• Ten marvelous years
• Fall fun list
• Making a modern home movie using iMovie
• Marvelous Money: Prioritizing Spending v. Saving
• June in June: Volume 3
• September 2018 goals
• Toddler favorites at two and a half years
• Self-care for people who don't like self-care
• 10 of our favorite quick and easy meals
• The meaning of Shepherd's name
• Say hello to John Shepherd Thomas!
• August 2018 goals
• Midcoast Maine Summer
• Our new backyard!
• Camping with kiddos
• My thoughts on Amazon Echo and technology in our home
• Summertime in Connecticut
• July 2018 goals
• A New England nursery for baby boy
• My favorite parenting books
• Indelible images of my parents
• A new chapter
• What June eats - and my best toddler eating tips
• June 2018 goals
• Our new bedside tables
• Marvelous Money: the cost of our first year with a baby
• 10 of our favorite cheap meals
• Coastal New England style
• I am the standard
• My skincare routine
• My simple fitness hack
• May 2018 goals
• Marvelous Money: Managing Money Together
• A weekend away in North Georgia
• How to organize your own childhood memorabilia
• Easter Weekend
• April 2018 goals
• Spring fun list with a toddler
• Baby boy Thomas!
• Our favorite board games
• Easter baskets - to do or not to do?
• How We Do It: Organizing Our Kiddos
• March 2018 goals
• How We Do It: Organizing Our Spiritual Lives
• A winter getaway to Anna Maria Island
• How We Do It: Organizing Our Relationships
• A few things we did for Valentine's Day
• Happy news to share
• How We Do It: Organizing our Work
• A vision for our refined home
• February 2018 goals
• How We Do It: Organizing Our Personal Lives
• A simple way to make your relationship happier
• How We Do It: Organizing Our Homes
• How We Do It: Organizing Our Finances
• A Life List Book
• How We Do It: Organizing Our Time
• Christmas in California
• 2017: A year in review
• Christmas Cards 2017
• December 2017 goals
• Christmas Gift Guide: Your Favorite Kids
• Christmas Gift Guide: Parents, Grandparents, and In-Laws
• Christmas Gift Guide: Kind-Hearted Picks
• Christmas Gift Guide: Sisters, Moms, and Best Friends
• Toddler favorites at twenty one months
• Minted Christmas cards + a giveaway!
• Getting our home ready for guests
• Our living room rug
• November 2017 goals
• The fifth annual pumpkins and soup party
• Marvelous Money: 26 Ways to Save Money
• A surprising source for fall clothes
• Great articles to read with friends
• 10 great dinners for new parents
• October 2017 goals
• What to send in a college care package
• Five intentions for the next five years of marriage
• Does your wedding look timeless?
• The beauty of an imperfect home
• September 2017 goals
• June in June: Volume 2
• 30th birthday book
• House contentment hack
• Lake Life in Northern Michigan
• August 2017 goals
• Marvelous Money: A review of Financial Peace University
• Master camping packing list
• Camping with toddlers
• 7 Tips for 2017 Graduates
• July 2017 goals
• Our secret birthday anniversary trips
• Wisdom from my Dad
• How to make something a habit
• Our five must-have baby registry items
• June 2017 goals
• A month of meals: spring edition
• Summer fun list (with a toddler!)
• How to make friends in your neighborhood
• Marvelous Mama Beth
• Fun baby shower game
• May 2017 goals
• Personal beauty consult with LULA Hair + Makeup
• Marvelous City Guide: Durham, North Carolina
• Fifteen month baby favorites
• Our backyard project: the plan and inspiration
• April 2017 goals
• Our backyard project: the before
• Taking ballet again
• Pretty athletic leggings
• HGTV Home Town and our house portraits
• 60 Before 30 Recap
• How to host a favorite things party
• Marvelous Money: Paying Off Our Mortgage Early
• 10 hopes for my 30s
• March 2017 Goals
• Month-by-month baby photos
• How I am trying to love people well
• June's first birthday
• 2017 Survey Results: I'm still glad you're here!
• Choosing my Warby Parker sunglasses
• A month of meals: winter edition
• I'm glad you're here! Survey + giveaway
• February 2017 Goals
• 12 years together
• June's favorite playlist
• Baby favorites at one year
• Marvelous Money: Making Trade-offs
• June's buffalo check and Liberty print nursery
• NC Museum of Art family photos
• Day-in-the-Life Family Photos with Nancy Ray
• Happy one year, June
• June's first Christmas
• 2016: A Year in Review
• Christmas Cards 2016
• How we keep Christmas about Christ
• My favorite Christmas recipes
• December 2016 goals
• Our favorite Christmas traditions
• Marvelous Money: Making a yearly budget
• Gifts for husbands, dads, and brothers
• Gifts for sisters, moms, and best friends
• 14 great gifts for kids
• Farmhouse Pottery
• Minted Christmas Cards + A Giveaway!
• November 2016 goals
• Camping with babies
• The best cooking playlist
• Planning multigenerational family photos
• Calligraphy vows prints in our master bedroom
• How to slow down time, part two
• Rituals, traditions, and the perception of time
• How to slow down time, part one
• October 2016 goals
• Signature family dishes
• Apple cider scones
• Marvelous Mama Rachael
• Four years of marriage
• How to host an articles club
• Eight month baby favorites
• June in June: Volume 1
• September 2016 goals
• Marvelous Mama Margaret
• Easy date idea: a dessert crawl
• A week on the Connecticut shoreline
• Lisa's all-white French-inspired baby shower
• What's in our diaper bag
• Baby shower ideas for Lisa
• 15 Things I Love About North Carolina
• August 2016 goals
• 12 Things I Miss About New England
• 7 Tips for Road Tripping with an Infant
• Pleased to make your acquaintance
• July 2016 goals
• The great Southwest adventure
• Five month favorites
• Summer fun list (with an infant!)
• June 2016 goals
• June's newborn photos by Graham Terhune
• The story of June's birth
• Pregnancy book recommendations
• May 2016 goals
• Our favorites from the first six weeks
• Marvelous Mama MacKenzie
• Charleston for the weekend (with a three-month-old)
• Thanking our post-partum nurses
• April 2016 goals
• My favorite natural deodorant
• Notes from the first six weeks, part two
• Marvelous Mama Allyson
• Notes from the first six weeks, part one
• A blueberry baby shower
• Spring clothing favorites for baby girl
• March 2016 goals
• Birthday weekend
• Marvelous Mama Julia
• Found: the most delicious banana bread
• Notes from our hospital stay
• Favorite new artist: Erin Gregory
• Marvelous Mama Kate
• February 2016 goals
• Marry the kind one
• Marvelous Mama Amanda
• Champagne bar with tinsel stirrers
• The meaning of June's name
• Marvelous Mama Samantha
• Say hello to June Chen Thomas!
• Introducing Marvelous Mama
• My 2016 guideposts
• My 2016 inspiration board
• 2015: A year in review
• Goal setting for 2016 with PowerSheets
• Our end-of-year celebration dinner
• Christmas cards 2015
• Planning our newborn photo session
• Marvelous Money: A new way to watch TV
• December 2015 Goals
• Our new dining room chairs
• Tips for shopping kids consignment sales
• Weekend trip to Nashville
• Our soup and pumpkins tradition
• November 2015 Goals
• 12 favorite fall recipes
• Framed & Matted
• An Articles Club
• Blue buffalo check nursery plans
• House Tour 2015: Upstairs
• October 2015 Goals
• House Tour 2015: Downstairs
• Baby Girl Thomas!
• The best way to reheat pizza
• Weekend trip to Greenville
• Three years of marriage
• Telling the families our baby news
• Fall To Do List 2015
• Baby registry input
• September 2015 Goals
• Fall clothing favorites
• Marvelous Money: Our car fund
• Deciding to have children
• La Vie en Rose: the Côte d'Azur
• Something to share...
• La Vie en Rose: Cassis
• August 2015 Goals
• La Vie en Rose: Provence
• Strawberry baby shower picnic in the park
• La Vie en Rose: Versailles
• La Vie en Rose: Paris
• Natural wood dresser
• A spring woodland baby shower for Nancy
• Inspiration Board No. 105: Spring Woodland Baby Shower
• Marvelous summer playlist
• July 2015 Goals
• Happy Father's Day
• No. 45: Go to Europe
• Wilmington and Bald Head Island
• June 2015 Goals
• Packing for Provence
• One Love Organics + new face wash routine
• West Elm nautical collection
• The drinking water game
• Em's camping favorites
• May 2015 Goals
• Thoughts on camping
• Fruit of the spirit: peace
• Natalie + Joe's summer wedding at the Branford House
• Marvelous Money: Start Rich
• Help me choose my new glasses!
• Our wedding album from Milk Books
• Weekend in Beaufort, SC
• Weekend in Savannah
• April 2015 Goals
• Camping 2015 + Texas road trip
• Spring trip to NYC
• Marvelous spring playlist
• Packing for Paris
• March 2015 Goals
• Replacing paper towels
• Cafe curtain inspiration for the dining room
• Fruit of the spirit: joy
• We are going to France!!
• Marvelous Money: Preparing financially for a baby
• Ten year dativersary
• February 2015 Goals
• No. 54: Learn some flower arranging skills
• A family treasure
• Our new rug + foyer plans
• Tips for travel planning
• Fruit of the spirit: love
• Why iPhone notes are genius
• New year, new topics!
• 2014: A year in review
• Tinsel stirrers in the limelight!
• Christmas Cards 2014
• Our new red front door!
• Marvelous Money: Charitable Giving Accounts
• 2014 Em for Marvelous Gift Guide: Littles
• 2014 Em for Marvelous Gift Guide: Neutral Gifts
• December 2014 Goals
• 2014 Em for Marvelous Gift Guide: Colorful Gifts
• Happiest Thanksgiving + Inspiration Board No. 104
• Featured in Emily Ley's Simplicity Series!
• Rethinking our wall of art
• Minted does fabric
• November 2014 goals
• H&M home for the holidays
• My ultimate dream home and other magazine memories
• Marvelous Money: Why do we spend so much?
• Porch party
• October 2014 goals
• Fall to do list
• Caitlin Wilson Designs giveaway!
• 2014 reading list so far
• Top 25 favorite chapter books
• Top 25 favorite picture books
• Six years of blogging
• The houses of Serenbe
• Two years of marriage
• Jackie + George's Wedding
• Puffin in Bloom
• September Goals
• Sailing in Maine
• Replacing my Toms
• August in Maine
• House Tour 2014: Upstairs
• House Tour 2014: Downstairs
• August Goals
• Little adventurer baby shower
• California Dreaming: San Francisco
• Natalie and Joe are married!
• California Dreaming: Yosemite
• California Dreaming: Monterey and Carmel
• California Dreaming: Cambria, San Simeon, Big Sur
• Watercolor house portraits
• California Dreaming: Santa Barbara, Montana de Oro, Cayucos
• California Dreaming: Malibu, Ojai, Montecito
• Planning a point-to-point trip
• Summer fun with friends
• Buckwheat and banana pancakes
• Front porch inspiration
• What we eat, part two
• What we eat, part one
• Pysanky eggs
• Weekend in Charleston
• Our house's colors
• April goals
• Five favorite abstract artists
• Marvelous Money: A Beginner's Guide to IRAs
• No. 49: Canoe down the Haw River
• Dining room table lighting options
• The Well's End and other thoughts on reading
• March 2014 Goals
• 60 Before 30
• Teal and emerald bridesmaid dresses
• A marvelous love story
• Garlands of love
• Birthday presents on the hour
• February 2014 Goals
• Finding your team after a move
• The cure for homesickness
• New kitchen pendant lights!
• California dreaming
• Classic and romantic
• DIY gold dot stationery
• Marvelous Money: Paying off debt
• 2013: A year in review
• Christmas cards 2013
• 2013 Em for Marvelous Gift Guide: Littles
• 2013 Em for Marvelous Gift Guide: Gents
• 2013 Em for Marvelous Gift Guide: Bright Gifts
• 2013 Em for Marvelous Gift Guide: Neutral Gifts
• Blessed to be a Blessing: Giving at Christmas
• December Goals
• Happy Thanksgiving!
• How we plan our meals
• Weekend adventures
• How I organize my blogging
• How I use my Simplified Planner
• Our kitchen chalkboard wall!
• November Goals
• Slightly nautical nursery
• Cozy fall playlist
• Inspiration Board No. 103: State Fair Celebration
• Colorful gallery wall
• Homemade chicken nuggets
• Marvelous Money: A Beginner's Guide to 401ks
• Easy Raised Garden Bed
• Living with kids
• October Goals
• Inspiration board no. 102: Peacock, shale, teal, and emerald
• Sperry Tent Layout
• Observations from one year of marriage
• Traveling wedding friends
• A visit to the cobbler
• On longtime friends and weddings
• Marvelous Money: Why save for retirement?
• The great area rug search
• Tips for hosting an adventure dinner party
• Marvelous Mondays: Gallery wall inspiration
• Two useful things
• An ode to golf course strolls
• Our first apartment
• Camping with friends
• Stepping into the Great Gatsby
• Summertime in Northern Michigan
• Happy Fourth!
• Summer to do list
• Honeymoon in Nevis, Part 2
• Guest post on Snippet & Ink!
• Honeymoon in Nevis, Part 1
• Tried and true recipes, no. 2
• Tips for everyday adventures
• House search update no. 3: The conclusion
• Happy Mother's Day
• Tinsel stirrers at a baby shower!
• Inspiration Board No. 101: A Nevis Wedding
• Pet Nicknames
• Marvelous Monday: Small Backyards
• Marvelous Money: Tracking your budget with the envelope system
• Packing for Nevis!
• Marvelous Money: Tracking your budget with Google Docs
• April Goals
• Inspiration Board No. 100: Anne of Green Gables
• Picks for spring
• House search update no. 2
• Making Things Happen
• Marvelous Mondays: Easter Eggs
• Marvelous Money: How to spend money
• Beyond the Sea: The budget
• March Goals
• The Birthday Party Project
• Inspiration Board No. 99: Beyond the Sea
• Beyond the sea: Reception
• Beyond the sea: Cocktail hour
• Beyond the sea: Our ceremony
• Beyond the sea: First look
• Beyond the sea: Wedding morning
• Beyond the sea: Rehearsal dinner
• Beyond the sea: Final preparations
• February Goals
• House search update
• Marvelous Money: Building a budget
• Tinsel stirrers in the shop!
• Super foods
• Marvelous Money: Managing Joint Finances
• Friends of Em + Graham Terhune Photography
• Board No. 98: Backyard Garden Party Wedding
• Marvelous Money: The emergency fund
• Marget and Seth's Wedding
• Marvelous Mondays: Bedrooms with wood plank walls
• Marvelous Money: What's your story?
• Target Threshold Spring Collection
• Welcome back to the Bachelor
• January Goals
• Daily Goals 2013
• 2012: A year in review
• Merry Christmas!
• Christmas cards 2012
• Board No. 97: Blue and White Christmas
• Em loves you: A Christmas giveaway
• Em for Marvelous Christmas playlist 2012
• 2012 Em for Marvelous Gift Guide: Neutral Gifts
• 2012 Em for Marvelous Gift Guide: Bright Gifts
• Blessed to be a blessing: acts of kindness for Christmas
• Felt mistletoe
• Christmas cupcake flags in the shop!
• Marvelous mondays: wreaths
• Gold party outfit
• Crafting our ceremony: serving communion
• Our wedding film from Inkspot Crow
• Marvelous mondays: kitchen banquettes
• Crafting our ceremony: our vows
• Modern Christmas newsletter
• Minted Christmas Cards
• Crafting our ceremony: music
• Inspiration Board No. 96: Falling for Dahlias
• Christmas trees in baskets
• Hiking in Asheville
• Antiquing in Asheville
• Eating in Asheville
• Pumpkin chocolate chip muffins
• Gilded pumpkins!
• Crafting our ceremony: readings
• Marvelous mondays: caramel apples
• Advice for first time home buyers
• Marvelous mondays: gilded pumpkins
• The hunt is over: Nitsa's
• On the hunt: David's Bridal
• On the hunt: The White Dress by the Shore
• Marvelous mondays: black stair railings
• On the hunt: Maddison Row
• On the hunt: inspiration
• Marvelous mondays: built-in bunks for four
• New beginnings
• Wedding road trip!
• Wedding planning update: 9 days to go
• Our wedding registry
• A good weekend
• Wedding planning update: 16 days to go
• Wedding planning update: 24 days to go
• A picnic bridal shower
• Rehearsal dinner outfit
• Wedding planning update: 1 month to go
• Favorite group portraits
• Our wedding invitations, part two
• Our wedding invitations, part one
• Invitations out of the house!
• Matt & Claudia are married!
• Invitations in the house!
• Dreams do come true
• Paloma's Nest Ring Bearer Bowl
• Ann Taylor tops
• Seasonal Home of Gales Ferry
• Wedding planning update: 2 months to go
• Mike & Antonia are married!
• Seth and Marget are getting married!
• Oilcloth project possibilities
• Wedding day emergency kit
• Happy Fourth of July!
• June Instagram
• Accessories Week: Comb + Veil
• Accessories Week: Earrings + Clutch
• Accessories Week: Bracelet + Necklace
• Classic Groom Essentials
• A Kate Spade Bridal Shower
• Wedding planning update: 3 months to go
• Paper Picks 2012: One Canoe Two
• Paper Picks 2012: Belle & Union
• Paper Picks 2012: Alee & Press
• Paper Picks 2012: Figs & Ginger
• Paper Picks 2012: Mr. Boddington's Studio
• Our engagement photos!
• Cupcake flags + donuts!
• Lot 190 + blue doors
• Wedding weekend welcome packs
• Wedding planning update: 3+ months to go
• Busy week ahead!
• Quaker marriage certificate
• Inn at Palmetto Bluff: Treehouse
• Accessorizing
• Backyard bridal shower
• Lowcountry Produce
• Hunting Island State Park
• 101 in 1001: May 2012
• City Loft Hotel in Beaufort, SC
• Old Sheldon Church Ruins
• Bridesmaid dress recap
• Wedding planning update: 4+ months to go
• Engagement photos!
• The wedding morning, part three
• Get yo' cocktails on
• Vintage silver at the reception
• Sweet peas in weddings
• Drink more water
• Tried and true recipes
• Ways to Personalize a Groom's Formal Look
• Tuxedo junction
• Flea market find: floral frogs
• A Kate Spade Bridal Shower: The Invitations!
• A Kate Spade Bridal Shower: Inspiration
• Tips for hiring destination wedding vendors
• Black and white dance floors
• Inspiration Board No. 95: Pastel Spring
• Wedding planning update: 5+ months to go!
• Method spring soaps
• Spring to do list
• A dress for the mother of the bride!
• Registering for china
• Sweet watercolor paintings
• (Almost) Spring weekend
• Black and White Cheesecake Brownies
• Adorably Small Houses
• Kate Spade Sample Sale
• Valentine's Day Party Invitations
• 101 in 1001: March 2012
• Spring Fling
• Here's to 25
• Colorful Cocktail Napkins
• Wedding planning update: 6+ months to go!
• Mini desserts
• Julie & Julia Dinner Party
• How to Make a Wedding Website Using Blogger
• Happy Valentine's Day!
• Flea Market Finds
• A creative groomsman "proposal"
• Bells will be ringing
• Our videographer + budget realities
• Easy Valentine's Day DIY
• A slightly military wedding ceremony
• Our save the dates!
• 101 in 1001: February 2012
• Wedding shoes: update!
• The wedding morning, part two
• Gowns with netted straps
• Wedding planning update: 7+ months to go!
• Yard sale chairs remade!
• Recycled art!
• Garden bouquet inspiration
• Bouquet wrap inspiration
• A Trip to M&J Trimming
• Bridesmaid Dresses!
• Our wedding photographer: Tanja Lippert!
• Player piano
• Inspiration Board No. 94: Mulberries in Hawaii
• Wedding shoes!
• Em for Gems
• Old Lucketts Store + silver update
• Scenes from the holidays
• Christmas in the apartment
• Our Christmas cards!
• Gift Wrapping Inspiration
• Inspiration Board No. 93: New Tartan
• Em for Minted: Giveaway winner!
• Inspiration Board No. 92: Candy-Colored Christmas
• EFM Gift Guide 2011: Neutrals + Metallics
• EFM Gift Guide 2011: Colorful
• EFM Gift Guide 2011: Cool Tones
• EFM Gift Guide 2011: Brights
• Giveaway: Em for Minted!
• Welcome to Em for Marvelous!
• Christmas tartan
• Watercolor letterpress calendar
• Vintage state towels
• Peppermint drink stirrers in the shop!
• The perfect cardigan
• Thanksgiving dinner inspiration
• More silver for the reception!
• Cayman Islands
• The wedding morning
• Inspiring menus
• Sperry tents
• Faux fur fuzzies
• Eno River fall foliage
• 101 in 1001: November 2011
• Steve Madden flats
• Wedding planning update: 10+ months to go
• Hostess gift idea!
• Minted save the date options
• Rainbow bookshelf
• Ringing the bell
• Makeup bags
• charleston: angel oak & middleton plantation
• charleston: folly beach & kayaking
• Donuts at weddings
• Haw River rock hop
• Green Knob Trail
• Edward Hopper stamps
• Pink in the park
• 101 in 1001: October 2011
• Camping this weekend!
• Bacon + avocado grilled cheese
• Embroidering
• Kendra Scott earrings
• Wedding planning update: 11+ months to go
• Summer to do list: update!
• Venue reveal: our reception site!
• Venue reveal: our ceremony site!
• Wedding prep extravaganza!
• The great venue search (part two)
• The great venue search (part one)
• Berry wedding ideas
• Polka dot gift bags
• Treehouse Point
• Pretty hellebores
• Mini food at weddings, part II
• Amy Merrick
• Rope bracelets
• Charleston: Video!
• Charleston: French Quarter + Battery
• Charleston: Eats
• Charleston: Folly Beach + Kayaking
• Charleston: Angel Oak + Middleton Plantation
• Back Porch Music at the American Tobacco Campus
• Wedding planning update: 12+ months out
• Minted business cards!
• Book baby shower
• Flea market success!
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• 101 in 1001: April, 2010
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• Save that date!
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• Bedroom Inspiration, v. 341
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• 101 in 1001: January, 2010
• Merry, Merry Christmas... one day early!
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• The hunt for the bridesmaid dress is on!
• Board No. 60: Aqua and Green Holidays
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• Red carpet style
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• A Banner Day
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• A Shower By Any Other Name...
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• Board No. 10: Pop the Bubbly!
• Happy Christmas Eve!
• Board #9: Merry, Merry Christmas
• Last Minute Gift Idea!
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• Put your stamp on it
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• A Dreamy 99 Cents
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• Inspiration Board #4: Teal, Yellow, and Black
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• Blue Hill Reserve
• Patrick Dougherty
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• Inspiration Board #2: Green Apples
• Pink and green Bird Ornament Set in the shop!
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• Oh, My Deer!
• Just Peachy
• Just married?
• Lazy Sunday
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• The Duchess = Eye Candy
• Have a lovely weekend!
• Fall Fashion: Current J. Crew Favorites
• I'm a finalist!
• Fall Fashion: J. Crew
• Cool Hand Luke
• Have a relaxing weekend!
• That's what she said...

• Section One: Introduction
• Section Two: Learning and Teaching Resources to Support Integration of Mental Health and Addiction in Curricula
• Section Three: Faculty Teaching Modalities and Reflective Practice
• Section Four: Student Reflective Practice and Self-Care in Mental Health and Addiction Nursing Education
• Section Five: Foundational Concepts and Mental Health Skills in Mental Health and Addiction Nursing
• Section Six: Legislation, Ethics and Advocacy in Mental Health and Addiction Nursing Practice
• Section Seven: Clinical Placements and Simulations in Mental Health and Addiction Nursing Education
• Section Eight: Reference and Bibliography
• Section Nine: Appendices and Case Studies

Section Nine

• Case Study 3

Also in this section

• Alignment between CASN/ CFMHN Entry-to-Practice Mental Health and Addiction Competencies and Sections in the Nurse Educator Mental Health and Addiction Resource
• Process Recording
• Criteria for Validation: Process Recording
• Criteria for Phase of Relationship: Process Recording
• Journaling Activity
• Safety and Comfort Plan Template
• Advocacy Groups for Mental Health in Canada
• Tips for Engaging Lived Experience
• Glossary of Terms
• Case Study 1
• Case Study 2
• Case Study 4
• Case Study 5
• Case Study 6
• Case Study 7
• Case Study 8
• Case Study 9

Thomas, a 16-year-old high school student, visits you during class in distress. He tells you that he’s being bullied at school because the kids think he is gay. Thomas tells you he thinks he might be transexual, but that he is scared to tell anyone, and voices suicide ideation. He is not supported at home: his mother and father, both professionals, work long hours and his older sister picks on him. Thomas’s best friend since the age of 10 recently told him he didn’t want to hang out with him anymore because he was “weird.” A few months ago another friend who was picked on more than Thomas went missing. Rumour in the school indicates that he ended his life.

Student questions:

• What are your next steps with Thomas?
• Do you have any immediate con-cerns in terms of Thomas’s safety?
• How do you conduct a Mental Status Exam?
• Howdo you conduct a suicide risk assessment?
• Is a crisis intervention required?
• What kinds of community-based support strategies would you recommend?
• Do you approach Thomas’s family? If so, how?
• What your role in terms of mental health advocacy and promotion?
• How does organizational culture influence the current provision of mental health care for students; how might that culture impact any changes you propose?
• What kinds of strategies can you develop?
• Who might be on an inter and intra-professional team?
• What kinds of stakeholders are available to assist with policy or program development?

Educator elaboration

• As school nurse, you want to prevent incidences of bullying and address the systemic issues related to student mental health.

Discussion Topics

• The impact of bullying on youth
• Diversity as it related to mental health
• Sexuality and its impact on mental health, (e.g., sexuality is not an illness)
• Stigma and its impact on mental health
• Developmental psychology/child and youth
• Family-centred-care
• Printer-friendly version

Au Café ( c 1875-77) by Edgar Degas. © The Fitzwilliam Museum, Cambridge

How to support a struggling friend

Sometimes it’s hard to know what to say or do. use these five strategies for providing effective emotional support.

by Elise Kalokerinos   + BIO

is a senior lecturer in psychology and co-director of the Functions of Emotions in Everyday Life Lab at the University of Melbourne. She studies how people manage their emotions, and the emotions of others, as they navigate their daily lives.

Edited by Christian Jarrett

Listen to this Guide.

Need to know

Your friend is devastated. She’s just lost her job and looks like she’s about to burst into tears in the middle of the busy coffee shop. You don’t know what to do. You want to help her, but what do you say in this horrible situation? How do you make her feel better right now, and how can you help her get through the tough time to come?

We’ve all been in situations like this, both big and small and everything in between: from a friend burning the food at their dinner party, to struggling with the loss of a loved one; from missing the bus to work, to enduring a marriage breakdown. Common wisdom suggests that a problem shared is a problem halved. We really want to help, yet we don’t quite have the words or the tactics. You might have felt yourself freeze in these moments, paralysed by the thought that anything you say or do could be a little awkward, or even make things worse.

Being supportive isn’t easy

Research shows that many people don’t really know what works best to help their friends effectively. Moreover, the support we do provide, such as giving advice, is often ineffective. Part of the challenge is that there are just so many possible ways to intervene. A survey of the methods that people used to manage their friends’ emotions identified 378 distinct strategies, including allowing the other person to vent their emotions, acting silly to make the other person laugh, and helping to rationalise the other person’s decisions. Given this large variety of strategies, it’s no wonder that deciding what to do when you have a friend in tears can be a little overwhelming.

Providing support is a skill that can be learned

The good news is that there are evidence-based support strategies you can learn that will help you provide more effective support to your friends. What’s more, providing support to your friends is good both for them and for you. Receiving social support from friends has benefits: in general, people who are supported tend to be more mentally and physically healthy. This might be because support from our friends and family is a strong buffer against the stress caused by tough times. Giving social support to friends also has benefits: when we support another person, it helps to strengthen our relationship with that person, and it makes us feel better (with the benefits being even greater when we feel like we’ve done a good job helping).

In this Guide, I will take you through five strategies to help you provide more effective emotional support to those who are struggling. For each strategy, I’ll give an example to help you see what this might look like in practice. These five strategies are broadly applicable but, later in the Guide, I’ll also cover some caveats to keep in mind.

Resist the urge to downplay your friend’s problems

Your friend Alex messages you, upset that he received a B in a college class. Your first impulse is to ignore the message – you think Alex is overreacting. He can handle this non-event on his own, and you don’t get why he is so upset. After a while, you figure you should respond. You write: ‘You’ll be fine, I don’t know why you’re worrying! Getting a B is pretty good and not the end of the world.’

When we think that someone is catastrophising something that (to us) is not a big deal, it can be tempting to ignore them, downplay them or be dismissive, but that would be a mistake and will likely end badly . Whatever your own take on your friend’s dilemma, it’s important to be responsive to their requests, and to prioritise trying to understand how they feel. Some studies suggest that being supportive is helpful only when we are responsive in this way. Moreover, being responsive to other people – trying to understand them, valuing their opinions and abilities, and making them feel cared for – is a cornerstone of good relationships.

So, in the above scenario with Alex, you might send a more thoughtful response, showing that you’re trying to understand how he feels: ‘I get why you’re upset, that sucks. I know you’re a hardworking and smart person, and I bet you’ll be able to get an A next time.’

In the longer term, a way to work on being more responsive and less dismissive is through setting compassionate goals. These involve focusing on supporting others, being constructive in interactions, and being understanding of others’ weaknesses. In a study with college students, people who reported setting goals that were more compassionate and less selfish had roommates who felt more supported by them. Cultivating a compassionate mindset is a useful background for all the remaining steps in this Guide.

Ask questions and really listen

You have coffee with your friend Jamie, who has just had a big argument with his partner. Your knee-jerk reaction is to think to yourself ‘Oh no, not another argument,’ to infer that Jamie is ready to leave the relationship (after all, that’s how you’d feel if you were him) and to show him that you’re on his side. You’re inclined to tell Jamie straight up that you get why he is angry, and that you agree it’s probably time to let the relationship go.

Just as playing down a friend’s problem is unwise, so too is trying to empathise too quickly, including jumping in with rapid advice. While this impulse is understandable and quite normal, it is also likely to go wrong. Although we tend to assume that we can tell how other people are thinking using our empathy, research has shown that we’re actually really bad at taking other people’s perspectives. One study , led by Tal Eyal at Ben-Gurion University of the Negev, involved researchers asking people to put themselves in another’s shoes in 25 different contexts, including taking other people’s perspectives on movies, on activities, on social issues, and even on whether jokes were funny. In all these experiments, trying to take another person’s perspective didn’t work, and sometimes it even backfired.

So how might you best address the situation instead? In the research by Eyal and her colleagues, directly asking was the only thing that helped one person understand how another person felt. This suggests that in the above scenario it would be better to slow down and start by asking directly how Jamie is feeling, rather than thinking about how you might feel in a similar situation. In short, we’re not as good as we think at intuiting other people’s feelings, and it is better to ask questions and listen to the answers.

Listening well can also be a challenge, but again there is psychology research that can help. To be a more effective listener, you can begin with two easy tactics . First, be attentive to the other person, and signal that you’re listening carefully by using nonverbal signals (such as nodding and smiling) and brief phrases (such as ‘Mmhmm’ or ‘Oh really?’) Second, provide ‘scaffolding’ questions that help your friend to elaborate on their story or their feelings, such as: ‘And what happened next?’ or ‘How did you feel after that?’ This can help them feel supported and heard. These skills may seem self-evident, but they’re particularly easy to forget in the moment, as we get distracted by our phones, or inclined to hurry our friends along to get to the point of their stories.

A related technique to try is active listening , which is commonly used by therapists, and relatively simple to implement. One form of active listening involves paraphrasing what your friend is saying in your own words, which can help them feel better. For example, your friend might spend some time explaining a series of stressful events across their week, describing arguments with their spouse, a mounting workload and some worries about debt, and you might paraphrase by saying that it sounds like they are overwhelmed both at home and at work right now.

Give emotional support first, cognitive support second

Your friend Casey comes to you upset that she has lost a big client at work. You want to jump straight in and help Casey think more positively about things. You know that this client was taking up a lot of Casey’s time. So, now that client is out of the picture, Casey can do less overtime, and spend more time on new, exciting clients. This kind of reframing is likely to be helpful for Casey in the long term, but it’s not the best place to start your support.

In contrast to downplaying a friend’s problem – the first pitfall I mentioned above – helping a friend see a situation in a positive light (known as reframing) is a supportive strategy. However, it’s important that you don’t jump straight to it. In the situation with Casey, it would have been better to start things off by validating her feelings, which is a form of emotional support . Casey has come to you feeling awful, and jumping straight to discussing the bright side might leave her feeling as if you aren’t getting it. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have tried to find a silver lining for Casey at all – but, rather than beginning there, better to validate and comfort Casey as she talked through the situation. Once you’d shown that you get how she feels, then you could have helped her find the bright side, which is a form of cognitive support in the sense that you’re helping your friend to think differently.

It’s important to provide both emotional and cognitive support because, although people prefer to receive and provide emotional support (and to avoid cognitive support), emotional support alone is often ineffective at making people feel better over the long term. Using emotional support first and cognitive support second makes people feel better, reaping the benefits of both approaches.

One additional concern with cognitive support is making sure that the reframe you suggest doesn’t slip into invalidating or downplaying your friend’s feelings. The dividing line here can be difficult to navigate. The key is to ensure your reframe doesn’t negate your friend’s feelings that the initial situation was upsetting. Instead, focus your reframing on unexpected upsides not yet considered, or future avenues to move past the initial problem. In the example with Casey, the aim wouldn’t be to convince her that losing her client wasn’t hard, but rather to help her find other parts of the situation that might soften that blow.

More generally, adopting the one-two punch approach of always beginning with validation is likely to help with this problem: if you begin from a perspective of validating, it’ll become more obvious to you when the reframes you provide are contradicting that validation.

Don’t take charge

Your friend Jay has a terrible boss. Jay has been struggling to deal with this for a while, and they’ve been constantly unhappy. You think Jay should quit and find another job with a better mentor, and you tell them as much.

Although you had good intentions, telling Jay straight up to quit would be a mistake. Very direct and obvious help can sometimes make people feel as if they are helpless. In research , people who received obvious and visible social support – rather than subtle, invisible social support – felt more stressed about an upcoming negative event. If your support is too directive and take-charge, it might make your friend feel like they aren’t able to handle things on their own, like a kid who needs their parent’s help to manage their problems.

Instead, it would have been better to ask Jay what they want, and how they might be able to change this situation, and then listen to them talk through their options one by one. In doing this, you provide a sounding board for Jay to take control of the situation on their own. Your aim should be to facilitate the other person’s choices, rather than dominating them. This will help them organise their thoughts and come to some solutions, without feeling like you did it for them.

Avoid venting together

Your housemate Jordan calls you to complain about your other housemate Kirby. Kirby hasn’t been doing her share of the chores, and Jordan is at the end of his patience. You too are annoyed at Kirby and, after a while, you realise that you and Jordan have been going back and forth complaining about Kirby for 10 minutes, and now you’re both feeling pretty upset.

Sympathising with a friend’s dilemma and venting together might seem like a supportive strategy that shows you’re both in the same boat and you’re happy to talk it over at length. However, this approach can go too far. In the above scenario, it’s likely to pull you and Jordan into a downward spiral of negativity.

Although I’ve discussed ways in which talking about problems with your friends can help, if taken to an extreme, it can become a problematic issue called co-rumination . This involves talking excessively with other people about problems, and constantly dwelling on those problems together without looking for solutions. Such behaviour results in both people feeling worse , with co-ruminating associated with increases in anxiety and depression over time.

How might you stop that downward spiral? The good news is that, according to researchers , simply knowing that co-rumination exists might help people avoid these kinds of negative spirals, although this has not yet been directly examined in a study. So, begin by being on the lookout. In the scenario above, once you’d identified the venting spiral, you could have pointed it out to Jordan. Distraction can interrupt that feeling of being stuck in a problem so, next, you and Jordan could have agreed to stop the discussion for a few hours, and do something that distracts you both, before coming back to figure out how to deal with the issue. At this point, you could have considered enacting the validate-and-reframe pattern I mentioned earlier (supporting such an approach, there is evidence that reframing can interrupt spirals of rumination).

Key points – How to support a struggling friend

• Being supportive isn’t easy . Many people struggle to know the right thing to say or do to help.
• Providing support is a skill you can learn . There are evidence-based strategies you can use. What’s more, providing the right kind of support is good both for your friends and for you.
• Resist the urge to downplay your friend’s problems . Instead, aim to be compassionate and responsive to how your friend is feeling.
• Ask questions and really listen . Most of us aren’t as good at empathy as we think – so find out how your friend feels and show you’re paying attention.
• Give emotional support first, cognitive support second . Validate your friend’s feelings, and only then help them to see things in a more positive light.
• Don’t take charge . Avoid being directive about your opinions; instead, encourage your friend to come up with potential solutions so they feel in control of the problem.
• Avoid venting together . Dwelling on problems with your friend without looking for a solution is known as co-rumination . Use distraction to break out of these negative spirals.

Tailoring your support

Not all supportive strategies will work in the same way for all people, cultures and situations. Now that we have good information about what works overall, researchers are starting to investigate how the optimal way to give support might vary depending on the who , where and when of the situation. Here are some of the most important findings to date:

Who: a relevant factor is the personality of the person being supported and in particular their self-esteem. In a series of studies , Denise Marigold at the University of Waterloo and her colleagues found that people with lower self-esteem benefited less from reframing and other forms of cognitive social support. As I discussed in the What to Do section above, this is the kind of support that involves positively reframing a friend’s experience (eg, ‘That terrible job interview was good practice for jobs you’ll care more about in the future’). People with lower self-esteem found this reframing cognitive support less helpful, and the people who provided the support felt worse about the interaction, themselves and their friendships more broadly. However, people with lower self-esteem were responsive to emotional support that validated their personal experiences. These findings indicate how important it is to think carefully about the personality of your friend and their preferences as you provide support.

Where: other research has investigated the role of culture in effective support. For instance, while much of the research I have discussed so far focuses on participants in Europe or the United States, crosscultural studies have demonstrated different dynamics among Asian and Asian American people. People with these backgrounds tend to request less support than Europeans and Americans because they fear that requesting too much support will strain their relationships. Perhaps as a result, whenever Asian and Asian American people have to ask for social support, they tend to find it less beneficial than any unsolicited support they receive. This suggests that, when giving support to Asian and Asian American people, it might be better to offer the support in a more subtle way, without waiting to be prompted.

Furthermore, research has demonstrated that social support may be more effective in some cultures, depending on people’s values. For instance, a study investigating Latino culture in the US found that this is characterised by familism , which values positive emotions, readily accessible social support from family, and a sense of shared obligation among community members. Among Latino participants, but not European or Asian participants, those people who more strongly endorsed familism tended to enjoy greater social support and better relationships. Related research suggests that among Latinos specifically, endorsement of familism is associated with deriving more health benefits from social support. Taken together, this work suggests that providing effective support may be particularly important in Latino communities that strongly endorse familism.

When: the role of situation in social support provision is another focus of research. One key distinction has been whether the support is given online (eg, through social media or messages) or in person. Despite the challenges involved in online interactions, studies in young people have found that providing support online can be helpful, especially for those who have less support available in person. Indeed, studies with young adults have found that support received digitally (eg, through messages and video calls) was just as helpful as face-to-face support. There tends to be some scepticism around the benefits of digital social support, but this research suggests that it may be a promising avenue, at least in young people. It’s unclear how well such studies will generalise across all age groups, but it does indicate that, if offering digital support is an available option (as is so often the case), then it is an avenue worth using. Many of the strategies discussed in this Guide are equally applicable in digital settings and can be used to support friends from afar.

Links & books

In her New York Times guide, the columnist Tara Parker-Pope discusses the research on how to be a better friend, including how to make friendships last, how to listen more effectively, and how to have better arguments.

The Psychology Podcast hosted by the cognitive scientist Scott Barry Kaufman has several episodes that are helpful to being a better friend, including one on developing emotion skills, with Marc Brackett of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, and another on fostering positive relationships, with the social psychologist Sara Algoe.

The Ten Percent Happier podcast hosted by the journalist Dan Harris also has some relevant episodes, including one on making and keeping friends, with the evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar of the University of Oxford, and another that makes the case for kindness, with Dacher Keltner of the Greater Good Science Centre at the University of California, Berkeley.

In her TED talk ‘Helping Others Makes Us Happier – But It Matters How We Do It’ (2019), the psychologist Elizabeth Dunn of the University of British Columbia discusses the benefits we get from helping others, demonstrating that supporting our friends also has personal benefits.

The book The War for Kindness (2019) by the psychologist Jamil Zaki of Stanford University is excellent on the psychology of empathy. Zaki demonstrates that empathy is a skill we can develop, in order to be kinder and more supportive people.

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Learning to give and receive advice on friendship, family, and work

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Why is advice important?

The “dos” of giving the best advice to friends

The “don'ts” of offering advice, how to receive advice with gratitude, the importance of being there for your friends, advice through thick and thin.

Getting advice from friends, family, or colleagues can give you the boost you need to solve a problem or get out of a rut. 

Maybe you have a tough time at work, need career advice , or simply want a second opinion on a new color to paint your bedroom. Sometimes you can figure out which direction to choose on your own. Other times, you might need help from someone in your life whose opinion you trust.

There’s an art to giving good advice on friendship and taking the time for active listening . Like everything else, it takes practice. But if you put in the effort to learn how to share and receive sound wisdom, you'll build lasting friendships.

Why is advice important? 

Advice is important because it helps you find new ideas when you need to solve a problem. From time to time, you need to hear a different perspective. A friend’s personal wisdom brings valuable, often objective, insights that help you overcome challenges and move forward in moments of confusion or distress.

Sometimes it can be scary to ask for someone’s opinion, even from a good friend. Depending on the situation, you might feel vulnerable or even embarrassed. Asking for advice feels like it could bruise your ego or stir up feelings of shame. 

But asking for advice doesn’t mean you aren’t a confident, self-assured person. It can actually be an important part of the decision-making process , and it’s a great way to build more trust in your personal and professional relationships. 

Hearing new perspectives and discussing your own opinions stimulates learning, the exchange of information, and deeper connections, which are all building blocks of healthy friendships.

And people who ask others for advice leave strong impressions and are perceived as smarter . Whether you’re speaking with a colleague, mentor, or friend, asking for advice will help you and the person you’re talking to grow.

Learning to be a better friend who people turn to for advice takes care and practice. You have to build your empathy and honesty — both skills you can nurture and grow. Here are some friendship goals to work on when it comes to exchanging advice, whether helping a new friend, family member, or close confidant.

1. Make sure your advice is solicited

Not every problem warrants advice. Sometimes people just need to vent out loud to someone they trust, like a good friend or trusted coworker. Before giving your sage wisdom, pay attention to their body language and tone.

Don’t be afraid to ask if they just need to get the words out or really want to hear your opinion. Checking in shows that you respect boundaries and are willing to lend support in the way they feel most comfortable with. 

2. Use your body language

This person has come to you because they think you’ll be a good listener. Use your body language to let them know they have your full attention.

Eye contact, for example, is an active listening technique that activates the limbic mirror system , which causes people's brain neurons to mimic one another, meaning if they feel something, you will too. This can deepen your sense of connection to one another and make your friend feel safe and protected. 

3. Ask thoughtful questions

While your friend explains the situation, ask good questions that require more than simple "yes" or "no" responses. These are also known as open-ended questions . They spark conversation and help both you and the person you’re talking to better understand what they’re going through.

Here are a few thoughtful questions you can ask:

Why do you think this situation is affecting you? 

What can I do to help you out?

If I was in your position, what advice would you give me?

4. Be honest

It's okay if you don't have the answer, but be sure to let your friend know. Understand the difference between brainstorming solutions together and filling the silence with unhelpful advice. In this case, your advice can simply be that they should seek answers from someone who might better relate to their experience or, in some cases, offer a professional opinion. 

For example, if your friend is going through a breakup or has lost a job that’s causing larger problems with their well-being or mental health, suggesting they seek help from a mental health professional is some of the best advice you can give. 

5. Be open-minded

Having an open mind means you’re willing to admit when you're wrong, hear new solutions, and can adapt to dynamic situations.

Approach advice with a positive mental attitude that allows for new ideas and encourages your friend to consider all their options. Remember that your advice isn’t about you, it’s about them. Don’t let your perspective limit you.

6. Weigh out the possibilities together

Everyone has their own unique experiences, and sharing yours together is a great way to find new solutions to problems. Try weighing out different outcomes and problem-solving strategies as a team.

When you put your heads together, you might think of new ideas and solutions you otherwise wouldn’t.

Bad advice, or advice you present with a bad attitude, can make your friend, coworker, or family member’s situation worse. Here are some things to avoid when giving advice.

1. Ignore your biases

Everybody has implicit bias , which, if left unchecked, can negatively affect your communication and decision-making process. Combatting your own bias takes humility, reflection, and collaboration.

When advising your friends, be curious rather than close-minded, encourage reflection, and pay attention to the verbal and nonverbal clues your friends are communicating to you. That way, you can recognize and combat your biases to have a more open conversation.

2. Gossip afterward

Both positive and negative gossip can reflect poorly on you . Sharing other people’s problems without their consent can make you seem like a bad friend. Your friend has come to you because they value and trust your judgment, so don’t break that trust.

Gossiping about their situation with a different group of friends, on social media, or in any other public space could make them feel worse — or even cost you their friendship. 

3. Compare them to others

Everyone has different lived experiences, thought processes, and life circumstances.

Telling the person asking you for advice to be more like someone else, or comparing their situation to yours when it isn’t warranted, isn’t helpful. It could belittle them or make them feel like they aren’t good enough.

4. Act like a savior

Your role isn't to make all your friend's problems disappear, even if you wish you could. It's up to your friend to ask for and act on your advice if they make the choice to.

Give them the support they need to weigh out all the possibilities and make the best decision on their own. Try not to tell them exactly what to do, and recognize that you can’t solve all of their problems.

5. Be judgmental

Your friend likely has strong feelings and emotions about what's happening in their life. Judgment doesn't help — and can send people into a spiral. Judgmental social exchanges are proven to create psychological distress and poor self-esteem .

Avoid telling your friend they’re being too emotional, irrational, dramatic, or sensitive. It invalidates their feelings and causes stress they don't need, especially if they’re easily overwhelmed .

6. Hijack the conversation

Reflecting on your own experiences could show empathy and establish a shared experience. Your friend might even feel more open to sharing if they know you have gone through a similar situation.

But their problem isn't a conversation starter to talk about you. Even if they ask you to share their experience, be sure to circle back and keep the focus on your friend. 

Here's an example: “Setting boundaries with my friend was really difficult. But the bottom line is that it was becoming a toxic friendship, and I had to make some space for myself. You're a strong person, and I know you can do the same thing. What boundaries do you want to set with them?”

Sometimes, when you ask for advice, you hear a new idea or face a part of the situation you weren't expecting. While this can be a good thing, it can also feel disheartening. Maybe you realize you’re in the wrong, or that the problem is deeper than you thought.

Remember that the person giving you advice has your best interest at heart. Here are a few things to keep in mind to receive advice with gratitude and make the experience as useful as possible:

1. Nothing is written in stone

Take all advice with a grain of salt. Your friends and family aren't there to tell you exactly what to do, but rather to offer ideas and help you work out your thoughts. Don’t just accept ideas you agree with right away or ignore the ones that don’t immediately feel right. Think critically about them and how they might help.

2. Disagreement isn't the enemy

Your friends or family might ask follow-up questions that make you uncomfortable or feel criticized. Remember that they're likely trying to help find clarity or make better sense of the situation. They may even disagree with your stance. Conflict can make you feel uncomfortable — that's natural. 

But avoidance doesn't get you anywhere. Studies show that different opinions are healthy and lead to better ideas and creative solutions , especially in the workplace. If you feel defensive, take a break and talk it through. It could lead to a breakthrough.

3. Nobody has all the answers

You’re seeking advice for a reason: you want help finding a solution to your problem. But you can’t approach a friend and expect them to fix things for you. Asking for advice is about working together, finding new perspectives, and feeling supported.

You learn more and gain new knowledge when you come to the conversation with an open mind. Be ready to evaluate your beliefs, decisions, and mistakes. 

A good friendship is important enough that just one or two close friends can make you feel the benefits of your mental and physical well-being. It's all about quality — a few close friends and loved ones can dramatically impact your general happiness levels. 

Being there when your friends need you has the obvious benefit of making them feel cared for, valued, and validated. But it can also make you feel more connected to them. Even if you have no advice to give, listening to their problems and offering support can be more than enough.

Advice is a responsibility. When your friends come to you for advice, it shows trust and vulnerability. Being there for them can make your bond stronger, and it reassures you that they’ll do the same when you have a problem. 

Whether they’re turning to you for advice on friendship, family, or work, listen with your full attention. Ask questions, think critically and constructively, and work through ideas together. Hopefully, you'll help find a solution. And if not, you'll build a strong friendship in the process.

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Elizabeth Perry, ACC

Elizabeth Perry is a Coach Community Manager at BetterUp. She uses strategic engagement strategies to cultivate a learning community across a global network of Coaches through in-person and virtual experiences, technology-enabled platforms, and strategic coaching industry partnerships. With over 3 years of coaching experience and a certification in transformative leadership and life coaching from Sofia University, Elizabeth leverages transpersonal psychology expertise to help coaches and clients gain awareness of their behavioral and thought patterns, discover their purpose and passions, and elevate their potential. She is a lifelong student of psychology, personal growth, and human potential as well as an ICF-certified ACC transpersonal life and leadership Coach.

Career advice: 24 tips for each stage of your career

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The 5-Day Friendship Challenge

Strengthen your bonds and find out what kind of friend you are with this weeklong friendship tuneup.

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By Catherine Pearson

Leer en español

Welcome to Well’s 5-Day Friendship Challenge!

This week, we’re bringing you five science-backed strategies to help revive fizzling friendships and to deepen your close ties. Start by taking our quiz to discover your friendship style, then strengthen your bonds with each day’s exercise.

Day 1: Text a friend

I’m Catherine Pearson, and I cover families and relationships for The New York Times. Today, I’m making the case for something many of us have a love-hate relationship with: texting.

Recently, I was having a lousy day. My husband was out of town, and the kids were fighting nonstop. Just as I was about to threaten my 6- and 9-year-old boys with boarding school, a text popped up on my phone. It was from Miranda, a high-school friend whom I catch up with only a couple of times a year. She had texted simply to tell me she’d been thinking about me — it probably took her 30 seconds to write, and it took me even less time to read. But her message lifted me right out of my funk.

Ample research shows that social connection is crucial to our physical and mental health and longevity . It is good for our brains and hearts, and helps protect us against stress. One oft-quoted 2010 study concluded that lacking social connection might be comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.

Friendship is a very specific and valuable form of social connection, said Julianne Holt-Lunstad, the lead author on the cigarette study and director of the Social Connection and Health Lab at Brigham Young University. “It’s difficult to be choosy about your neighbors or co-workers. You’re born into your family,” she explained. “Friendships are chosen and, because of that, we need to intentionally make time for them.”

Putting in the effort to maintain friendships may feel like a heavy lift, and to a certain extent it is. Research suggests people need to spend around 200 hours hanging out together in order to forge a close friendship . Unfortunately, the amount of time Americans spend engaged with friends every day has declined over the past two decades .

The good news? Research also shows that smaller efforts can help established friendships flourish. A 2022 study found that when you casually check in with a friend — the way Miranda did with that text — it’s more welcome than many of us realize.

Peggy Liu, one of the authors of that study, often writes to friends out of the blue to say, “I just thought I would say ‘hi’ and see how you’re doing.” Liu, an associate professor of business administration at the University of Pittsburgh, told me that even if it sometimes felt awkward, the practice had helped her reconnect with old friends.

Friendship Challenge Day 1: Text a friend.

Today’s challenge is a light lift — simply pick up your phone and shoot off a text. Maybe it’s for someone you’ve lost touch with. Maybe it’s for someone you’re missing. Or maybe it’s for someone you actually see quite often but want to check in with “just because.” You can use this text-message template or come up with something on your own.

Hi! Just texting to see how you're doing.

You’re not alone if reaching out feels uncomfortable. Just keep in mind what Jeffrey Hall, a professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas, told me: “It’s typically the case that when people are out of touch for a while, it’s not because they dislike each other or don’t want to hear what is going on in each other’s lives. It’s just that they have fallen into a routine of not keeping in touch.”

Discover your friendship style

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Day 2: Repot a friendship

This is Day 2 of the 5-Day Friendship Challenge. To start at the beginning, click here .

We’ve all got them: work friends, college buddies, playground dads. Whatever you call them, they’re the discrete groups of friends from different facets of our lives. Even our “weak ties” seem to exist only in certain settings, like the neighbors you nod at while walking the dog, or the barista who has memorized your coffee order.

But there is value in decompartmentalizing such friendships, said Marisa G. Franco, a psychologist and the author of “Platonic,” a book about making and keeping friends. Research has found that connecting in different settings or contexts can help bring friends closer, she added.

Friendship Challenge Day 2: ‘Repot’ a friendship.

“Repot” is a term coined by Ryan Hubbard, who heads up Hinterland, a social lab that has generated reports on friendship. And it’s simple: Think of friends you tend to interact with in one setting. Then invite them to join you for something else.

Ask a colleague you usually gossip with on Slack to sneak out to a matinee with you. Ask a friend you normally meet for dinner to join you for a walk through a museum. Or maybe raise the stakes a bit and invite a friend on an overnight trip — you really get to know someone once you’ve hung out together in your PJs, Dr. Franco said — or to try something totally new to you both. ( Clown cardio , anyone?)

Dr. Franco pointed to research showing that sharing unusual or extraordinary experiences can sometimes help bring people together. And researchers who study romantic love have long known that novelty can nourish relationships. But it’s not all about finding activities that are unconventional or adventurous.

You can repot a relationship by asking a friend for help, Dr. Franco said, or ask if that person wants to meet your family, something we do naturally all the time as kids. You can also “integrate” your friendships, inviting people who don’t know each other to meet up.

Whatever you settle on, your overarching goal should be to “challenge the norms” of your friendship, Dr. Franco said. If you feel unsure of whom to reach out to, she recommends simply asking yourself: Is there someone I would like to feel closer to in some way?

Repotting has risks. Your friend might screech at the idea of taking a beginner’s trapeze class with you, rather than meeting for your usual glass of wine. But the only way to know is to ask, Dr. Franco said. You might also discover that you don’t like spending time with your friend in another context, which can be valuable information as well, she added.

When it works, repotting can lead to a greater sense of ease and comfort with friends, Dr. Franco said, because you are each getting a more complete picture of the other person. “Every setting,” she said, “brings out a different side of us.”

Day 3: Put a friendship on autopilot

This is Day 3 of the 5-Day Friendship Challenge. To start at the beginning, click here .

One of my favorite running middle-aged jokes on TikTok and Instagram involves two busy parent friends trying to make plans.

You know the script: “Are you free next week?” one mom shouts into her earbuds while driving car pool.

“No, I have four dance recitals, two block parties and 67 soccer games to attend,” the other mom answers, stirring a pot of chili while answering a work email.

“Next month?”

“No, we’re finally taking that vacation we’ve put off for 10 years.”

And on it goes, until they finally settle on a date in late 2026.

Making plans to socialize with friends can be challenging, no matter what stage of life you are in, said Kasley Killam, a social scientist and the author of the forthcoming book “The Art and Science of Connection.” That is why she believes that one of the best things you can do to prioritize your social health is put your friendships on autopilot by scheduling regular opportunities for connection.

“It’s about automating the logistical sides of our friendships so that we can just be present,” she said. “It ties into the fact that friendships — and all of our relationships — blossom the most when there are consistent touch points.”

Friendship Challenge Day 3: Put a friendship on autopilot.

Here are a few ways to do it:

A standing dinner date . Ask a handful of friends over to your home for an easy meal on the same day of the week every month. Add the date to your calendars, making sure it repeats each month, and whoever can make it will make it. There may be specific benefits to meeting up in real life, said Eric Kim, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia.

Dr. Kim worked on a recent study that found having frequent face-to-face contact with friends was associated with better mental and physical health. And he’s putting what he learned into practice: Every time Dr. Kim meets up with his three closest friends, he ends the get-together by putting their next date on the calendar. Efficient!

“The more you have a routine of interacting with somebody, the less you have to work at it,” said Jeffrey Hall, a professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas. “It also gives you something to look forward to.” For example, perhaps you and a friend get together every summer to have a barbecue, or every winter when you’re back in your hometown, you visit the same friend, he said.

A weekly call or text. OK, nothing beats in-person connection. But as we already established this week , it is also true that even a brief text exchange can feel meaningful. So here comes that calendar reminder again: A pop-up might prompt you to ping the same person every week, or maybe it suggests someone new. The point is to reach out.

Break out the Post-its. A low-tech option is to place a note somewhere you are apt to see it, such as a bathroom vanity, reminding you to reach out to a friend. Or, while you are writing out your to-do list for the week, make a “to-love” list, Ms. Killam suggested. Corny? Sure. But a list like this can help you prioritize your friendships, she said.

“It’s about having these reminders and rituals so that it becomes habitual,” Ms. Killam said. “It’s so easy for our connections to just be the last thing on our to-do list.”

Day 4: Revisit old photos with a friend

This is Day 4 of the 5-Day Friendship Challenge. To start at the beginning, click here .

If you’re like me, you have a staggering number of photos saved to your phone. Does that speak to an unhealthy tendency to obsessively document even the most mundane moments? Perhaps. But today’s objective is to put your photo library to good use.

Nostalgia can be beneficial. It can curb stress and help combat feelings of loneliness. And looking back on old memories with a friend instantly makes you feel more connected, said Marisa G. Franco, a psychologist and the author of “Platonic,” a book about maintaining friendships. Something as simple as looking at an old photo of you and a friend may remind you of the depth of that bond, she said.

In fact, Dr. Franco said, one of the easiest ways to make new friends in adulthood is to simply reconnect with old ones. Revisiting cherished memories can give a fizzled friendship a much-needed jolt.

Friendship Challenge Day 4: Reminisce with a friend.

Text or email a photo or video. This is the quickest option, Dr. Franco said. You might work some details into an accompanying message, such as “I’m thinking about this moment we had together, and this is what it meant to me.”

Dig up some old photo prints. Those 8 x 10s and 5 x 7s that are just gathering dust in storage? Upload them digitally and send them to a group chat. Or have a pal come over and comb through them together while eating snacks.

Ask: “What do you remember?” Simply chatting about your shared experiences can clue you into a friend’s perspective, said Eric Kim, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia. When recalling that camping trip you both went on years ago, you may only remember the mosquitoes and restless sleep. But talking to your friend could remind you of the beautiful waterfall you saw and the s’mores you ate.

You get new insights into a shared memory, Dr. Kim said.

Yes, reminiscing can be bittersweet. You might find yourself remembering friends who are no longer alive, or staring at a photo from a more carefree time. But you can also feel gratitude for the time you’ve shared. (And small, daily doses of gratitude have known benefits .)

“Part of reminiscing might be saying, ‘I’m so glad we had that experience together,’” said Julianne Holt-Lunstad, the director of the Social Connection and Health Lab at Brigham Young University. “Or, ‘I’m so grateful we were able to do that.’”

Day 5: Take an emotional risk

This is the final day of the 5-Day Friendship Challenge. To start at the beginning, click here .

The friendship experts I interviewed for this challenge all mentioned, in one form or another, how important vulnerability is to forming close connections. If you want big, deep platonic love in your life, you must be willing to put yourself out there emotionally.

Those therapists and researchers also acknowledged that the very idea of vulnerability makes a lot of us squirm.

“You risk rejection, exposure, judgment,” said Hope Kelaher, a licensed clinical social worker in private practice in New York City and the author of “Here to Make Friends.” “But it is the core component of any deep emotional intimacy.”

Friendship Challenge Day 5: Be vulnerable with a friend.

“Expose myself emotionally” probably wasn’t on your to-do list when you woke up, so here are a few ideas to help you start.

Ask a probing question (or 36 of them). Nearly a decade ago, The New York Times ran the article “ The 36 Questions That Lead to Love ” — which included a set of, yes, 36 questions that could help accelerate intimacy.

The questions had been generated for a study by researchers including Arthur Aron, a professor of psychology at Stony Brook University. Dr. Aron told me that he and his team had developed the questions to test whether they could create closeness between strangers, but there is growing evidence they can increase closeness between friends and romantic partners, too. Running through the full set takes about 45 minutes, and the questions get progressively deeper. Answer them with a friend to help foster mutual vulnerability.

Confide in someone new. One simple strategy is to think about who you typically talk to about thorny issues at home or work, said Marisa G. Franco, a psychologist and the author of “Platonic.” Instead of going to that person, talk to another friend you’d like to bond with. You might share something you are struggling with, she suggested, though she acknowledged that was a high-risk (and high-reward!) proposition. If you need a confidence boost, keep the “ beautiful mess effect ” in mind: Research suggests that though we tend to worry being vulnerable will make us seem weak or flawed, others tend to see it as courageous and authentic.

Offer a sincere compliment. Going deeper with a friend does not necessarily mean you must unburden yourself emotionally. Jeffrey Hall, a professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas, has worked on research showing that offering a sincere compliment to a friend can increase your own happiness and lower stress levels over the course of a day. Though telling a friend what you appreciate about him or her might feel awkward, it will probably be more welcome than you would expect .

OK, maybe it’s just me, but after spending the week together working through this challenge, I feel like we’re best friends now? I’ll keep up with your feedback in the comment sections , so please post there and let me — and your fellow readers — know how the exercises turned out for you. If you’d like to suggest other forms of connecting, drop them there, too.

I hope these exercises have been a reminder to make time for friendship. Investing in our social connections is like investing in a 401(k), as Ms. Kelaher told me. It’s a way of planning for our future stability — and well-being.

Role of Friendship: 10 Ways How Friends Can Help You Achieve Your Goals

Joseph Illiaz

“A True Friendship Is the Best Possession” – Benjamin Franklin No matter whatever your plans are for the coming years, your friends can help you out in that. They play a very crucial role in our social life. Being a human, everyone needs someone who can support them in their ups and downs of life and that is what true friends are for. Each person gives different values to different persons in their life. But, for me, it has been defined as family, friends, and faith. The reason behind it is, personally, I have felt how much they help a lot in achieving goals, to remain happy, to sort out the problems, etc. The opportunities that we get through friends are far better than getting anything in life. As a result, they are the real heroes behind our success.

So, similarly here are 10 best ways that define the role of friendship in achieving success…

How Friends Help Us in Best Possible Ways to Become Successful?

1 Encourage Us

Friends are the one who believes in us. They are our real motivators. It means they are the one who helps us become a better individual in all aspects of life, be it personal or professional. Friends are the only human being that can encourage us in the best possible ways to achieve our goals.

2 Motivate Us

No one can be a good motivator than a friend, whether you want to get motivated for your exams, for a job interview, or anything. They can help you practice better and can also give you the best tips to pass the toughest exams of your life. A true friend can help you release the pressure and motivate you to achieve your goals.

3 Challenge Us

After family, friends are the only one who knows all our strengths and weakness. They challenge us to accept and mold in case of any life-changing moments. They are the ones who know the best ways to convert our weakness into strength so that we can achieve our goals.

4 Listen to Us

In this busy life, friends are the only ones who make time for us, listen to our complains, and give us the best solution to overcome it. They are always ready to stand with us with their open heart. A trustworthy friend is the one who always listen and provide the opportunity to others to express their thoughts.

5 Grieve With Us

No doubt, life is full of ups and downs. There comes a point in everyone’s life when they start feeling so low and unable to take proper decisions. At that point, friends are the best shoulder and the best adviser to whom they can rely on. They know the best tricks to make the such situations bearable and the high point higher.

6 Celebrate With Us

Happiness can never be acknowledged until and unless it is shared with the best people. This is the reason why we immediately call our close ones when something good happens in our life. They are the only one who makes our victory double and make our bliss complete. They are the actual reason for our success.

7 Adds Joy in Our Life

According to the research done by the students of Harvard Medical School, it has been concluded that the number of friends a person have, the more likely they will be able to achieve their goals in life. Somewhere there is a relation between being cheerful and having friends and you know what the inverse is true as well. Overall they are the one behind our success.

8 Support Us

No matter whether this world values your work or not, but friends do. They recognize the value you contribute to the world and the beauty you offer to it. Doesn’t matter whether you achieve success or not, they always stand by your side to support you in the best possible way.

9 Teach Us Lessons

Apart from supporting, sometimes they teach us the best lessons in life. They provide us the best opportunity for sacrifice, for influence, etc. Friendship is the best thing happen in everyone’s life that offers trust and influence. Yes! True friendship requires sacrifice, if they are ready to make you successful, then why can’t you sacrifice something for their happiness. So, this is how friendship teaches us some beautiful lessons in life that are beneficial for the career as well.

10 Improve Our Health

Apart from the research, studies also indicate that true friendship always results in better life and health. If your company is positive, then automatically the results will come positive too. If you are surrounded by negative people, then they will always reflect the negative vibes that further put a bad impact on your future. So, try to be with positive people so that you remain happy and achieve your goals easily.

Wrapping Up!!!

So, this is how friends can help you in achieving success because they always want to see their friends succeed. So, always make a wise decision in choosing your friend because one wrong decision can spoil your future and take your life in a negative direction.

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• > Friends—Who Needs Them? Two Case Studies Illustrating...

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Friends—who needs them two case studies illustrating the assessment and treatment of boys with peer relationship difficulties.

Published online by Cambridge University Press:  16 June 2009

This paper presents case studies of two boys who had problems forming friendships, and who participated in a group treatment designed to enhance their social skills. The intervention consisted of both behavioural techniques and cognitive problem solving strategies. The boys' improvement was reflected in some of the formal measures of change, and in reports from parents and teachers. The paper addresses issues concerning the role of assessment, and the selection of appropriate measures of change.

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• Volume 18, Issue 3
• Alison M. Conning (a1) and Donna M. Head (a2)
• DOI: https://doi.org/10.1017/S014134730000971X

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A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed

A Case Study on Human Respiratory Physiology

By William H. Cliff, Ann W. Wright

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This directed case study was designed to help students strengthen their understanding of the transport of oxygen in the blood through an analysis of the pathophysiology of a common, real-world problem, namely, carbon monoxide poisoning. The case was developed for use by undergraduates majoring in biology, nursing, and education who are enrolled in a two-semester course in human anatomy and physiology.

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Date Posted

• Distinguish partial pressure of O2 from percent O2 saturation.
• Use the oxygen-hemoglobin dissociation curve to determine the amount of oxygen transported in the blood and delivered to the tissues.
• Explain the role played by hemoglobin in external respiration by determining how and where its dysfunction disrupts respiratory gas transfer in the body.

Oxygen transport; carbon monoxide poisoning; alveolar air hemoglobin; oxygen-hemoglobin dissociation curve

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Undergraduate lower division

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The holiday is Wednesday, but events start this weekend and run through the end of the month.

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Westbrook Middle School students Bella Zollarcoffer, Priscila Nzolameso and Sarikong Oak held tables educating and informing the community on Black hair history at Westbrook’s Juneteenth celebration last year. Cullen McIntyre/Staff Photographer

Juneteenth, which became both a federal and state holiday in 2021 , celebrates the anniversary of federal troops’ arrival in Galveston, Texas, on June 19, 1865, to ensure all enslaved people had been freed. This year, the holiday falls on Wednesday, but celebrations are happening over the next two weeks.

10 a.m. to 5 p.m. –  Indigo Arts Alliance presents The Welcome Table, an intergenerational symposium celebrating global cultural and culinary histories. Activities include art, movement and meditation workshops led by activists and cultural workers. 60 Cove St., Portland.  indigoartsalliance.me

10 a.m. to 4 p.m. –  Victoria Mansion is hosting a community day with free admission and a recitation of the Emancipation Proclamation by local actors. 109 Danforth St. Portland.  victoriamansion.org

10 a.m. to 4 p.m. –  Space and the Tate House Museum are putting on a Juneteenth community day with free admission and tours of Ashley Page’s “Imagining Freedom” exhibit at the museum. The historical art piece puts viewers into the shoes of an enslaved woman named Bet. 1267 Westbrook St., Portland.  space538.org Advertisement

1-6:30 p.m. –  The first event of “The City that Carries Us: Pain, Streets, and Heartbeats” will take place at the Public Theatre in Lewiston. The celebration will have a parade and a block party with performances, as well as scheduled activities and rituals throughout the day. It is hosted by the organization Maine Inside Out. 31 Maple St., Lewiston, maineinsideout.org

2-3 p.m. –  Through “Poems of Reckoning and Resilience,” the Portland Museum of Art and Maine Writers and Publishers Alliance seek to honor the legacy of Black Americans. Featured poet Nathan McClain will join local poets in the Great Hall at the museum to celebrate Black liberation and creativity. The museum is also offering free admission Saturday through Monday, in celebration of both Juneteenth and Pride Month. 7 Congress Square, Portland.  mainewriters.org

11:30 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. –  The fifth annual Juneteenth Celebration on House Island in Casco Bay will focus on Black joy, as well as nature, health and economic opportunity. Guests can stay for one or two days, and partake in activities like camping, hiking, yoga and games, all led by BIPOC leaders. Fortland, House Island, Portland.  eventbrite.com

4:30-7 p.m. –  The Community Organizing Alliance is putting on an event with speakers, live performances, poetry readings, a voter registration drive and catering by Bab’s Table. There will also be opportunities to get involved in the racial justice movement. The Atrium at Bates Mill, 36 Chestnut St., Lewiston.  eventbrite.com

1-3 p.m. –  Riverbank Park in Westbrook will host a community event with art, poetry, music and guest speakers. There will also be a barbecue picnic, a student fashion show, hair braiding, pick-up soccer and more activities sponsored by the city. 667 Main St., Westbrook.  On Facebook.

7-8 p.m. –  The Portland Yoga Project is putting on a class called “Liberated Breath: A Juneteenth Yoga Experience” that seeks to reflect on the holiday through yoga. The class is free for BIPOC community members and is sponsored by the Portland Public Library. 7 Bedford St., Portland, allevents.in

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