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Mastering The Art Of Writing A Great Conflict Essay

Table of Contents

… But how to write a conflict essay?

This task can become a real stone of stumbling for many students, especially when they write admissions essays.

The practice shows that students tend to describe conflicts in the one-dimensional narrative, where one side of the conflict is depicted as a knight in shining armor and the other side is a complete villain.

Of course, it is the simplest way to manage conflicts (as anyone sees clearly, who is right), however, this approach highlight the inability to give an unbiased assessment of both sides of the conflict.

Here we will cover the essentials of writing such essays and how to avoid the most common mistakes in the conflict papers.

Studying the basics of the conflict essay

What is conflict, and what are its causes? Is it possible to avoid it, and how to solve it? Who are the participants, and is there a possibility for them to have a peaceful order? Here are the main points that should be covered in your text.

But what are you going to write about?

Different vocabularies give so many different definitions of this term that it is so easy to be bamboozled by all these meanings.

• A war of a fight.
• A mental struggle.
• An opposition of persons or forces.
• Anything that sets the character back from achieving a specific goal (in fiction).

That is why it is crucial to read and understand the task before you start writing.

Writing guideline for the essays about conflict

Your journey to the perfect paper should start with the proper investigation:

• What is the type of conflict you are writing about?
• What are its reasons?
• What are the consequences?
• How to solve it?

Taking into consideration all mentioned above, it becomes clear that the disagreement between two people does not limit the type of conflict. It also may cover a conflict between a man and society or nature, or even a fight against self.

And do not forget about the key players: the protagonist and antagonist of the conflict.

As soon as you have defined the central conflicts and leading players, it is time to gather facts that prove this point of view. Arm yourself with a pen and start searching for the evidence of conflict in the literary work, if your task is to cover the conflict depicted in a novel or a poem.

You may use many sources for data collection; however, make sure that they are reliable and relevant. And do not forget to jot down the information about the source for proper referencing; otherwise, using materials without appropriate arrangement will be considered plagiarism.

Carefully analyze gathered material and single out a precise thesis statement that will be the basis of the paper. Later it will become the last sentence of the introduction, but now it is the basis of the outline for your essay on conflict. The basic outline template for such paper will look like this:

• A hook sentence – an interesting fact, question, quote, or anecdote.
• Introduction part that makes readers aware of the conflict.
• Thesis statement.
• 3 body paragraphs , each with one issue of the conflict and several proofs.
• Address whether the conflict was resolved or not.
• You may also discuss the ways of avoiding or solving the conflict.
• The conclusion  should cover the main points of the paper with the rephrasing of a thesis.

Breaking down a personal conflict essay

Two types of conflict can be covered in the essay – personal and internal. Personal, on its turn, can be divided into a conflict between people, or a person and organization, or a person and a state (especially in the countries of the totalitarian regime).

Usually, students prefer to describe their own conflict experience, for example, with parents or peers. In this case, one has to define the purpose of writing as thereon hangs the tone of the text. For example, the aim is to show that there are no right or wrong, but two legitimate points of view.

Then the tone of the paper will be empathic as the writer has the insight into the opposite point of view and there are two sides of every story.

What about an internal conflict essay?

Such essays deal with the psychological conflicts inside one person. Thus, they discuss what happens when we have to do something that is against ethical standards or values, or the clash of logical and emotional response to something.

Here much prominence should be given to the ways of overcoming this conflict and as a result, becoming a better person.

And in both cases, it is necessary to follow these guidelines to improve the quality of the text:

• Pay attention to the task requirements: do not exceed the word limit , arrange the quotes according to the chosen referencing style, format the paper properly.
• Make sure that the paper is plagiarism-free .
• Edit and proofread the text.

Take advantage of a well-written conflict essay example

As they say, seeing once is better than hearing twice. When you look through a top-notch paper written by a professional writer, everything clicks into place.

What is more, you can use such paper as a template for your own paper and as a source of inspiration.

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Essays About Conflict in Life: Top 5 Examples and Prompts

Conflict is a broad and gripping topic, but most struggle to write about it. See our top essays about conflict in life examples and prompts to start your piece.

Conflict occurs when two people with different opinions, feelings, and behaviours disagree. It’s a common occurrence that we can observe wherever and whenever we are. Although conflicts usually imply negative aspects, they also have benefits such as stronger relationships and better communication.

To aid you in your paper, here are five examples to familiarize you with the subject: 

1. Useful Notes On 4 Major Types Of Conflicts (Motivational Conflict) By Raghavendra Pras

2. encountering conflict by julius gregory, 3. complete guide to understanding conflict and conflict resolution by prasanna, 4. analysis of personal conflict experience by anonymous on gradesfixer, 5. personal conflict resolving skills essay by anonymous on ivypanda, 1. conflict: what is and how to avoid it, 2. conflicts in our everyday lives, 3. review on movies or books about conflicts, 4. actions and conflicts , 5. conflicts at home, 6. conflicts that changed my life, 7. my personal experience in covert conflict, 8. cascading conflicts, 9. how does conflict in life benefit you, 10. the importance of conflict management.

“Conflict… results when two or more motives drive behaviour towards incompatible goals.”

Pras regards conflict as a source of frustration with four types. Experimental psychologists identified them as approach-approach, avoidance-avoidance, approach-avoidance, and multiple approach-avoidance. He discusses each through his essay and uses theoretical analysis with real-life examples to make it easier for the readers to understand.

“The nature of conflict shows that conflict can either push people away or bring them into having a closer, more comfortable relationship.”

The main points of Gregory’s essay are the typical causes and effects of conflicts. He talks about how people should not avoid conflicts in their life and instead solve them to learn and grow. However, he’s also aware that no matter if a dispute is big or small, it can lead to severe consequences when it’s wrongly dealt with. He also cites real-life events to prove his points. At the end of the essay, he acknowledges that one can’t wholly avoid conflict because it’s part of human nature.

“…it is important to remember that regardless of the situation, it is always possible to resolve a conflict in some constructive or meaningful way.”

To help the reader understand conflict and resolutions, Prasanna includes the types, causes, difficulties, and people’s reactions to it. She shows how broad conflict is by detailing each section. From simple misunderstandings to bad faith, the conflict has varying results that ultimately depend on the individuals involved in the situation. Prasanna ends the essay by saying that conflict is a part of life that everyone will have to go through, no matter the relationship they have with others. 

“I also now understand that trying to keep someone’s feelings from getting hurt might not always be the best option during a conflict.”

To analyze how conflict impacts lives, the author shares his personal experience. He refers to an ex-friend, Luke, as someone who most of their circle doesn’t like because of his personality. The author shares their arguments, such as when Luke wasn’t invited to a party and how they tried to protect his feelings by not telling Luke people didn’t want him to be there. Instead, they caved, and Luke was allowed to the gathering. However, Luke realized he wasn’t accepted at the party, and many were uncomfortable around him.

The essay further narrates that it was a mistake not to be honest from the beginning. Ultimately, the writer states that he would immediately tell someone the truth rather than make matters worse.

“To me if life did not have challenges and difficult circumstances we were never going to know the strength that we have in us.”

The essay delves into the writer’s conflicts concerning their personal feelings and professional boundaries. The author narrates how they initially had a good relationship with a senior until they filed for a leave. Naturally, they didn’t expect the coworker to lie and bring the situation to their committee. However, the author handled it instead of showing anger by respecting their relationship with the senior, controlling their emotion, and communicating properly.

10 Helpful Prompts On Essays About Conflict in Life

Below are easy writing prompts to use for your essay:

Define what constitutes a conflict and present cases to make it easier for the readers to imagine. To further engage your audience, give them imaginary situations where they can choose how to react and include the results of these reactions. 

If writing this prompt sounds like a lot of work, make it simple. Write a 5-paragraph essay instead.

There are several types of conflict that a person experiences throughout their life. First, discuss simple conflicts you observe around you. For example, the cashier misunderstands an order, your mom forgets to buy groceries, or you have clashing class schedules. 

Pick a movie or book and summarize its plot. Share your thoughts regarding how the piece tackles the conflicts and if you agree with the characters’ decisions. Try the 1985 movie The Heavenly Kid , directed by Cary Medoway, or Where the Conflict Really Lies: Science, Religion, and Naturalism by philosopher Alvin Plantinga.

In this essay, describe how actions can lead to conflict and how specific actions can make a conflict worse. Make your essay interesting by presenting various characters and letting them react differently to a particular conflict.

For example, Character A responds by being angry and making the situation worse. Meanwhile, Character B immediately solves the discord by respectfully asking others for their reasons. Through your essay, you’ll help your readers realize how actions significantly affect conflicts. You’ll also be able to clearly explain what conflicts are.

Your home is where you first learn how to handle conflicts, making it easier for your readers to relate to you. In your essay, tell a story of when you quarreled with a relative and how you worked it out.  For instance, you may have a petty fight with your sibling because you don’t want to share a toy. Then, share what your parents asked you to do and what you learned from your dispute.

If there are simple conflicts with no serious consequences, there are also severe ones that can impact individuals in the long run. Talk about it through your essay if you’re comfortable sharing a personal experience. For example, if your parents’ conflict ended in divorce, recount what it made you feel and how it affected your life.

Covert conflict occurs when two individuals have differences but do not openly discuss them. Have you experienced living or being with someone who avoids expressing their genuine feelings and emotions towards you or something? Write about it, what happened, and how the both of you resolved it.

Some results of cascading conflict are wars and revolutions. The underlying issues stem from a problem with a simple solution but will affect many aspects of the culture or community. For this prompt, pick a relevant historical happening. For instance, you can talk about King Henry VIII’s demand to divorce his first wife and how it changed the course of England’s royal bloodline and nobles.

People avoid conflict as much as possible because of its harmful effects, such as stress and fights. In this prompt, focus on its positive side. Discuss the pros of engaging in disputes, such as having better communication and developing your listening and people skills.

Explain what conflict management is and expound on its critical uses. Start by relaying a situation and then applying conflict resolution techniques. For example, you can talk about a team with difficulties making a united decision. To solve this conflict, the members should share their ideas and ensure everyone is allowed to speak and be heard.

Here are more essay writing tips to help you with your essay.

Maria Caballero is a freelance writer who has been writing since high school. She believes that to be a writer doesn't only refer to excellent syntax and semantics but also knowing how to weave words together to communicate to any reader effectively.

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106 Conflict Resolution Essay Topic Ideas & Examples

Inside This Article

Conflict resolution is an essential skill that plays a crucial role in various aspects of our lives. Whether it is in personal relationships, the workplace, or even on a global scale, conflicts are inevitable. However, it is how we address and resolve these conflicts that determines the outcome and impact they have on our lives and the world around us.

Writing an essay on conflict resolution can provide a deeper understanding of this skill and its significance. To help you get started, here are 106 conflict resolution essay topic ideas and examples:

• The importance of conflict resolution in personal relationships.
• Conflict resolution techniques used in international diplomacy.
• The role of empathy in conflict resolution.
• Conflict resolution strategies for parents and children.
• The impact of unresolved conflicts on mental health.
• Conflict resolution in the workplace: best practices.
• The role of effective communication in resolving conflicts.
• Conflict resolution in multicultural societies.
• The influence of gender on conflict resolution.
• Conflict resolution and negotiation skills in business.
• The role of compromise in resolving conflicts.
• Conflict resolution in online communities.
• The impact of conflict resolution on organizational productivity.
• Conflict resolution and its effect on community building.
• The role of forgiveness in conflict resolution.
• Conflict resolution in educational settings.
• Conflict resolution in the criminal justice system.
• The impact of cultural differences on conflict resolution.
• Conflict resolution in the healthcare industry.
• Conflict resolution in sports teams.
• Conflict resolution and human rights.
• The role of power dynamics in conflict resolution.
• Conflict resolution and social media.
• The impact of conflict resolution on economic development.
• Conflict resolution in environmental disputes.
• Conflict resolution and international cooperation.
• The role of mediation in conflict resolution.
• Conflict resolution in the family business.
• The impact of conflict resolution on personal growth.
• Conflict resolution and social justice.
• Conflict resolution and restorative justice.
• The role of negotiation in conflict resolution.
• Conflict resolution in political campaigns.
• The impact of conflict resolution on romantic relationships.
• Conflict resolution in the classroom.
• Conflict resolution and conflict prevention.
• The role of compromise in international conflicts.
• Conflict resolution and the media.
• Conflict resolution in the digital age.
• The impact of conflict resolution on community engagement.
• Conflict resolution and public policy.
• Conflict resolution and mental health stigma.
• The role of leadership in conflict resolution.
• Conflict resolution in the family court system.
• Conflict resolution and peacebuilding.
• The impact of conflict resolution on employee satisfaction.
• Conflict resolution in the nonprofit sector.
• Conflict resolution and social inequality.
• The role of trust in conflict resolution.
• Conflict resolution in the music industry.
• Conflict resolution in urban planning.
• The impact of conflict resolution on interpersonal relationships.
• Conflict resolution in the military.
• Conflict resolution and workplace diversity.
• The role of emotions in conflict resolution.
• Conflict resolution and environmental conservation.
• Conflict resolution in international trade disputes.
• Conflict resolution and community policing.
• The impact of conflict resolution on team dynamics.
• Conflict resolution in diplomatic negotiations.
• Conflict resolution and conflict transformation.
• The role of dialogue in conflict resolution.
• Conflict resolution and social change.
• Conflict resolution in healthcare teams.
• Conflict resolution and human rights violations.
• The impact of conflict resolution on organizational culture.
• Conflict resolution in online gaming communities.
• Conflict resolution and the justice system.
• The role of compromise in interpersonal conflicts.
• Conflict resolution and urban development.
• Conflict resolution in the tech industry.
• The impact of conflict resolution on workplace communication.
• Conflict resolution and gender equality.
• Conflict resolution in community organizations.
• Conflict resolution and sustainable development.
• The role of active listening in conflict resolution.
• Conflict resolution in international peacekeeping missions.
• Conflict resolution and social entrepreneurship.
• The impact of conflict resolution on employee well-being.
• Conflict resolution in the film industry.
• Conflict resolution and environmental justice.
• The role of negotiation in interpersonal conflicts.
• Conflict resolution in public health emergencies.
• Conflict resolution and poverty reduction.
• Conflict resolution in online dating.
• The impact of conflict resolution on family dynamics.
• Conflict resolution and international human rights law.
• Conflict resolution and workplace ethics.
• The role of compromise in political conflicts.
• Conflict resolution in the fashion industry.
• Conflict resolution and sustainable agriculture.
• Conflict resolution in international aid organizations.
• The impact of conflict resolution on organizational effectiveness.
• Conflict resolution in online marketing campaigns.
• Conflict resolution and racial justice.
• The role of empathy in interpersonal conflicts.
• Conflict resolution in disaster response efforts.
• Conflict resolution and social media activism.
• The impact of conflict resolution on team performance.
• Conflict resolution in international business transactions.
• Conflict resolution and sustainable tourism.
• Conflict resolution in humanitarian interventions.
• The role of compromise in environmental conflicts.
• Conflict resolution and sustainable energy.
• Conflict resolution in international sports competitions.
• The impact of conflict resolution on community empowerment.

These essay topics cover a wide range of areas where conflict resolution plays a significant role. Whether you are interested in personal relationships, international affairs, or social justice, there is a topic that suits your interests. Remember to conduct thorough research and provide examples to support your arguments. Good luck with your essay!

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Essay Samples on Conflict

How to resolve conflict without violence: building peaceful communities.

Conflict is an inevitable aspect of human interactions, and while disagreements are a natural part of life, it is essential to address and resolve them without resorting to violence. By employing effective methods and strategies, individuals and communities can navigate conflicts constructively, fostering harmonious relationships...

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The UPS Teamsters Strike: Navigating Negotiations and Economic Impact

The Looming UPS Teamsters Strike After months of negotiations, the UPS Teamsters union and UPS management reached a tentative agreement on July 26, 2023, potentially averting a nationwide strike. The Teamsters strike had been authorized for early August if a deal was not reached, which...

• Employee Engagement

The Enduring Issue of Conflict: From Imperialism to WWI and WWII

Introduction Conflict is a very significant enduring issue in history. Conflict is a serious disagreement or argument. There can be conflict between individuals, groups of people, and even nations, is significant because it affects a lot of people and has long-lasting effects. Some issues of...

• Enduring Issue
• Imperialism

Conflict Theory and Ageism in Aging Discrimination

The advantage characteristic of the conflict theory is that it creates a continuous constant, drive for the middle and upper topmost class of young people to accumulate compile, wealth to maintain preserve their social class. This is good because it ensures guarantee the economy grows....

• Discrimination

The Link Between Identity and Purpose in Life in "Never Let Me Go"

It is known to man that when one knows what when you can find your purpose find a sense of identity to yourself. In “Never Let Me Go” The story focuses on Kathy H., who portrays herself as a guardian, talking about looking after organ...

• Book Review
• Never Let Me Go

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Ton Of Conflict In Sonny's Blues

There is a ton of conflict at work in 'Sonny's Blues.' The general clash in this story is between black presence and white society, and this has unequivocally affected how the storyteller sees the world. He depicts this battle of experiencing childhood in Harlem, where...

• Sonny's Blues

My Personal Opinion on the Types of Conflict Resolution

Normally there are four types of conflict resolution strategies: Avoiding, Competing, Accommodating, and Collaborating. Avoiding is about a withdraw of a conflict. Competing is about a team being divided into two parties and instead of being collaborative they just fight and compete about who idea...

• Collaboration
• Conflict Resolution Theory

Kokata: Traditional Conflict Resolution Mechanism of the Kambata People of SNNPRS

Governments may find it usually difficult to find solution for a conflict of any type-be within a particular group, between groups or relating to between their own and outside groups, for example border conflict. This may be as they aspire to address conflict only using...

Analysis of the Salam Model of Conflict Resolution

Man is essentially a social being who necessarily must interact and compete with other members of his social setting to achieve anything. The Holy Qur’an alludes to this innate quality of man when it states that “And everyone has a goal which dominates him; vie,...

• Competition

Theme of Conflict In 'A View From The Bridge'

Conflict is a theme which has quite a large role in this play because all the characters have a little bit of conflict between each other. In 1930s Brooklyn, there was conflict between two cultures due to Italians moving over to America. This caused conflict...

• A View From The Bridge
• Arthur Miller

Don Nardo's The Persian Gulf War and Its Detalisation of Conflicts

The Persian Gulf War By Don Nardo goes into detail about the conflict between Iran and Iraq, Kuwait, United States and more. In the introduction it starts off by stating “The world was stunned on August 2, 1990, by alarming news.[...]¨(7). The alarming news was...

• Persian Gulf

Conflict among Nations as a Global Issue Throughout History

Throughout history, enduring issues have developed across time and societies. One such issue is conflict, this is a disagreement between two opposing parties. This issue is significant as it can destroy empires, encourage innovations, and kill or displace civilians. You can see the significance of...

• Controversial Issue

An Argument for Constructing a Resolution Strategy for Ethnic Conflict

Global conflict refers to the disputes between different nations or states. It also refers to the conflicts between organizations and people in various nation-states. Furthermore, it applies to inter-group conflicts within a country in cases where one group is fighting for increased political, economic, or...

• Ethnic Identity
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Different Conflict Situations In A Diverse Workplace

Joanne Barrett, a recruitment specialist states that when in a workplace with employees of different cultures, backgrounds, beliefs and values, conflict is bound to happen. Showing respect towards fellow colleagues in the organisation is important as to help solve it. Barret suggested that employers and...

How Conflict Can Be Normal In All Relationships

While conflict can be normal in all relationships, it should be a last resort by all means. Relationships should be a mutual effort and be based on communication. Reason being, it can lead to an unhealthy relationship, create a negative perception of the relationship, and...

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Issue Of Conflict Mineral Mining In Congo

It is no major secret that the area of land that makes up the Democratic Republic of the Congo (referred to in this paper by its shortened name, the Congo) has been in a state of conflict for the past 40 years or more, with...

• Natural Resources

Reflection On Conflicts And Its Management In My Company

There is no universal explanation of what a conflict is, but can be considered, any situation in which the people’s perspectives, interests, goals, principles, or feelings are divergent. To ensure cooperation and productivity in any given company, every aspect of conflict must be appropriately dealt...

The War In Yemen: Roots Of The Conflict

The current war in Yemen has been ongoing for three years, since 2015. The Houthi rebels and Yemen’s government are in a bloody war. Roots for conflict started with the failure of a political change when the then president handed over his power to his...

• What Is History

Cultural Conflicts In Multinational Corporations: Michelin Company Case

Michelin was established in the 1800s in France. There are over 120,000 employee around the world and most 20,000 people are working in North America. In 2004, the department of North America faced some challenges includes decreasing in performance and lack of competitiveness. After evaluation,...

Best topics on Conflict

1. How to Resolve Conflict Without Violence: Building Peaceful Communities

2. The UPS Teamsters Strike: Navigating Negotiations and Economic Impact

3. The Enduring Issue of Conflict: From Imperialism to WWI and WWII

4. Conflict Theory and Ageism in Aging Discrimination

5. The Link Between Identity and Purpose in Life in “Never Let Me Go”

6. Ton Of Conflict In Sonny’s Blues

7. My Personal Opinion on the Types of Conflict Resolution

8. Kokata: Traditional Conflict Resolution Mechanism of the Kambata People of SNNPRS

9. Analysis of the Salam Model of Conflict Resolution

10. Theme of Conflict In ‘A View From The Bridge’

11. Don Nardo’s The Persian Gulf War and Its Detalisation of Conflicts

12. Conflict among Nations as a Global Issue Throughout History

13. An Argument for Constructing a Resolution Strategy for Ethnic Conflict

14. Different Conflict Situations In A Diverse Workplace

15. How Conflict Can Be Normal In All Relationships

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Team-Building Strategies: Building a Winning Team for Your Organization

Discover how to build a winning team and boost your business negotiation results in this free special report, Team Building Strategies for Your Organization, from Harvard Law School.

• How Conflict Examples Can Teach Us to Listen

Listening deeply to our counterparts is a critical negotiation skill. Here, we look at how conflict examples can help us transform unproductive conflict into opportunities to listen and learn.

By Katie Shonk — on June 3rd, 2024 / Conflict Resolution

Listening is perhaps the clearest path to understanding others and resolving conflict, but it can be difficult to practice. The desire to disagree, prove we’re “right,” and engage in hardball tactics often get in the way. Here, we consider how transformative listening can be, then study how deep listening plays out in conflict examples.

Learning When Forced to Listen

In the 1980s, Jessie Daniels entered the sociology PhD program at the University of Texas with a lot of assumptions about the world, as she writes in a new anthology of personal essays by sociologists, Between Us: Healing Ourselves and Changing the World Through Sociology . Some of those assumptions were profoundly shaken when she secured a research position with Dr. Joe Feagin.

Feagin assigned Daniels the task of transcribing interviews with middle-class Black Americans about their experience with racism. At the time, Daniels, who is white, naively assumed that because the Civil Rights Act had made racial discrimination illegal in the United States, the interviewees might be “overly sensitive, looking for discrimination where there was none,” she recalls.

In fact, she soon found, the interviewees were slow to complain. When they did share stories of possible discrimination, they agonized over how to interpret them. One woman, for instance, described being seated at the back of a restaurant, near the kitchen. “Oh, come on,” Daniels thought. “ That could happen to anyone .” But as Daniels noted, the woman on the tape “couldn’t hear me, and I couldn’t actually interrupt her, so I just kept typing.”

In her interview, the woman expressed how confusing the incident was: “It could be discrimination, or it could not be, but now I’ve got to spend my energy to try and figure this out, because you know, I don’t want to be one of those complaining types.” She concluded, “It’s an exhausting way to go through life.” From nearly every interviewee, Daniels heard similar stories of “internal calculation in response to discrimination.”

By listening closely to the interviewees—with no opportunity to question or rebut them—Daniels gained a deeper understanding of systemic racism and the pain and confusion it causes. “By the end of transcribing those interviews, something fundamental in me had shifted,” she writes. “Instead of arguing or disagreeing with the Black people I’d spent time listening to, I was in solidarity with them.”

Daniels’ story illustrates how listening deeply to other people can challenge our preconceived beliefs. Listening can be especially beneficial in bringing disputing parties together, as the following conflict examples suggest.

Transforming Your Listening Skills

In her book Transformative Negotiation: Strategies for Everyday Change and Equitable Futures , Sarah Federman explores real-world conflict examples to illustrate how negotiation can help those in financial precarity achieve greater stability. While teaching negotiation at the University of Baltimore, she learned to adapt traditional negotiation training to the lives of her students, who were coping with problems such as negotiating car insurance claims and adapting to life after incarceration.

Teaching active listening skills in negotiation was core to this training. In particular, Federman encourages her students to “ ask five information-seeking questions with no agenda ” of others in their lives. “This means they can only ask questions to better understand the person’s world, not to lead the person toward or away from a particular solution,” she writes.

One student asked the following five questions of his brother, who had been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and recently discharged from the hospital:

• How do you feel?
• How do you like the new medication?
• How do we make sure you stay on the medication and go for quarterly checkups?
• Would you talk to me whenever you feel like the drugs are not working?
• Do you need anything?

By asking these questions and listening carefully, the student gained a new understanding of how much his brother had suffered and of his past behavior. As Federman writes, “Good listening can reduce household and workplace tension, preventing conflict and making negotiations easier when they occur.”

Listening Is Contagious

Turning to conflict examples in a galaxy far, far away, mediator and coach Danielle Blumenberg describes the power of listening in negotiation in an essay for the new anthology Star Wars and Conflict Resolution II: My Negotiations Will Not Fail , which gleans conflict-resolution strategies from the Star Wars universe. In the film The Force Awakens, Blumenberg describes encounters between the self-reliant scavenger Rey, hero Luke Skywalker, and dark side warrior Kylo Ren.

In one scene, Rey tries telling Luke about the “darkness she feels calling to her,” Blumenberg writes, but “Luke doesn’t listen well—instead, he reacts with fear and shuts her down.” In a later encounter with Kylo, Rey “mirrors Luke’s approach, casting accusations at Kylo and not seeking information.” Clearly, poor listening can become a vicious cycle.

But rather than shutting her down, as Luke did, Kylo “responds with curiosity”; he ignores her insults and begins asking questions. The next time they connect, Rey reciprocates by asking Kylo questions and seeking to understand his behavior. “Their mutual listening begins to move them past their conflict,” writes Blumenberg. The key to this breakthrough was Kylo’s ability to move beyond accusation and respond by listening closely—a negotiation strategy we can all adopt.

What have you learned from recent conflict examples in your life?

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Article contents

Conflict management.

• Patricia Elgoibar , Patricia Elgoibar University of Barcelona
• Martin Euwema Martin Euwema Katholieke Universiteit Leuven
•  and  Lourdes Munduate Lourdes Munduate University of Seville
• https://doi.org/10.1093/acrefore/9780190236557.013.5
• Published online: 28 June 2017

Conflicts are part of nature and certainly part of human relations, between individuals, as well as within and between groups. Conflicts occur in every domain of life: family, work, and society, local and global. Conflict management, therefore, is an essential competency for each person. People differ largely in their emotional and behavioral responses to conflict and need to learn how to behave effectively in different conflict situations. This requires a contingency approach, first assessing the conflict situation, and then choosing a strategy, matching the goals of the party. In most situations, fostering cooperative relations will be most beneficial; however, this is also most challenging. Therefore, constructive conflict management strategies, including trust building and methods of constructive controversy, are emphasized. Conflict management, however, is broader than the interaction of the conflicting parties. Third-party interventions are an essential element of constructive conflict management, particularly the assessment of which parties are intervening in what ways at what escalation stage.

• cooperation
• competition
• conflict behavior
• conglomerate conflict behavior
• constructive conflict management
• conflict resolution strategies

Definition of Conflict

Conflicts are part of nature, and certainly part of human relations. People experience conflict with other persons, in teams or in groups, as well as between larger entities, departments, organizations, communities, and countries. Conflicts appear at home, at work, and in our spare-time activities with friends, with people we love and with people we hate, as well as with our superiors and with our subordinates and coworkers. Parties need to accept conflicts as part of life dynamics and learn to deal with them effectively and efficiently. Conflict management refers to the way we manage incompatible actions with others, where others can be a person or a group.

Conflict is a component of interpersonal interactions; it is neither inevitable nor intrinsically bad, but it is commonplace (Coleman, Deutsch, & Marcus, 2014 ; Schellenberg, 1996 ). In the 20th century , Lewin ( 1935 ) concluded that an intrinsic state of tension motivates group members to move toward the accomplishment of their desired common goals. Later on, Parker Follett ( 1941 ) explored the constructive side of conflict and defined conflict as the appearance of difference, difference of opinions or difference of interests. Deutsch ( 1949 ) developed this line of thought and analyzed the relation between the way group members believe their goals are related and their interactions and relationships.

A common definition of conflict argues that there is a conflict between two (or more) parties (individuals or groups) if at least one of them is offended, or feels bothered by the other (Van de Vliert, 1997 ; Wall & Callister, 1995 ). Traditionally, conflict has been defined as opposing interests involving scarce resources and goal divergence and frustration (Pondy, 1967 ). However, Deutsch ( 1973 ) defined conflict as incompatible activities: one person's actions interfere, obstruct, or in some way get in the way of another's action. Tjosvold, Wan, and Tang ( 2016 ) proposed that defining conflict as incompatible actions is a much stronger foundation than defining conflict as opposing interests, because conflicts also can occur when people have common goals (i.e., they may disagree about the best means to achieve their common goals). The key contribution of Deutsch’s ( 1973 ) proposal is that incompatible activities occur in both compatible and incompatible goal contexts. Whether the protagonists believe their goals are cooperative or competitive very much affects their expectations, interaction, and outcomes as they approach conflict (Tjosvold et al., 2016 ).

Characteristics of Conflict

Euwema and Giebels ( 2017 ) highlighted some key elements of conflict.

Conflict implies dependence and interdependence. Parties rely to some extent on the other parties to realize their goals (Kaufman, Elgoibar, & Borbely, 2016 ). This interdependence can be positive (a cooperative context), negative (a competitive context), or mixed. Positive interdependence is strongly related to cooperative conflict behaviors, while negative interdependence triggers competitive behaviors (Johnson & Johnson, 2005 ). Interdependence also reflects the power difference between parties. A short-term contractor on a low-paid job usually is much more dependent on the employer than vice versa. Many conflicts, however, can be seen as “mixed motive” situations.

Conflicts are mostly mixed motive situations because parties have simultaneous motives to cooperate and motives to compete. Parties are, on the one hand, dependent on each other to realize their goal, and, on the other hand, they are at the same time competitors. For example, two colleagues on a team are cooperating for the same team result; however, there is competition for the role as project leader. In a soccer team, the players have a team goal of working together to win, but they can be competing to be the top scorer. The mixed motive structure is very important to understand conflict dynamics. When conflicts arise, the competitive aspects become more salient, and the cooperative structure often is perceived less by parties. Interventions to solve conflict, therefore, are often related to these perceptions and the underlying structures.

Conflict is a psychological experience. Conflict is by definition a personal and subjective experience, as each individual can perceive and manage the same conflict in a different manner. Conflict doesn’t necessarily have an objective basis (Van de Vliert, 1997 ). It depends on the perception of the specific situation, and the perception is by definition subjective and personal.

Conflict concerns cognitive and affective tension. When someone perceives blocked goals and disagreements, he or she can also, although not necessarily, feel fear or anger. Many authors consider that conflict is emotionally charged (Nair, 2007 ; Pondy, 1967 ; Sinaceur, Adam, Van Kleef, & Galinky, 2013 ), although the emotion doesn’t need to be labeled necessarily as a negative emotion. Some people actually enjoy conflict. Emotional experiences in conflict are also scripted by cultural, historical, and personal influences (Lindner, 2014 ).

Conflict can be unidirectional. One party can feel frustrated or thwarted by the other while the second party is hardly aware of, and doesn’t perceive the same reality of, the conflict.

Conflict is a process. Conflict is a dynamic process that does not appear suddenly, but takes some time to develop and passes through several stages (Spaho, 2013 ). Conflict is the process resulting from the tension in interpersonal interactions or between team members because of real or perceived differences (De Dreu & Weingart, 2003 ; Thomas, 1992 ; Wall & Callister, 1995 ).

Type of Conflict: Task, Process, and Relationship Conflict

Early conflict and organizational research concluded that conflict interferes with team performance and reduces satisfaction due to an increase in tension and distraction from the objective (Brown, 1983 ; Hackman & Morris, 1975 ; Pondy, 1967 ; Wall & Callister, 1995 ). Jehn ( 1995 ) differentiated between task and relational conflict, and later also included process conflict (De Wit, Greer, & Jehn, 2012 ). Task conflict refers to different opinions on content (Jehn & Mannix, 2001 ). Examples of task conflict are conflict about distribution of resources, about procedures and policies, and judgment and interpretation of facts (De Dreu & Weingart, 2003 ). Process conflict refers to how tasks should be accomplished (Jehn, Greer, Levine, & Szulanski, 2008 ). Examples are disagreements about logistic and delegation issues (Jehn et al., 2008 ). Finally, relationship conflict refers to “interpersonal incompatibility” (Jehn, 1995 , p. 257). Examples of relationship conflict are conflict about personal taste, political preferences, values, and interpersonal style (De Dreu & Weingart, 2003 ). All three types of conflict—task, process, and personal (relational) conflicts—are usually disruptive, especially personal conflict, which is highly disruptive (De Dreu & Weingart, 2003 ; Jehn, 1995 , 1997 ). A review and meta-analysis by De Wit et al. ( 2012 ) showed that, under specific conditions, task conflict can be productive for teams. Moreover, conflict can wreck a team’s efforts to share information and reach a consensus (Amason & Schweiger, 1994 ). Therefore, research supporting the benefit of task and relationship conflict is not conclusive and each situation varies. What seems to be clear is that managing conflict efficiently to avoid escalation is a priority for teams.

Conflict Behavior, Conflict Management, and Conflict Resolution

Conflict behavior, conflict management, and conflict resolution are different layers of a conflict process and therefore should be distinguished. Conflict behavior is any behavioral response to the experience of frustration, while conflict management is the deliberate action to deal with conflictive situations, both to prevent or to escalate them. Also, conflict management is differentiated from conflict resolution, which is specific action aimed to end a conflict.

Conflict Behavior

Conflict behavior is the behavioral response to the experience of conflict (Van de Vliert et al., 1995 ). Conflict behavior is defined as one party’s reaction to the perception that one’s own and the other party’s current aspiration cannot be achieved simultaneously (Deutsch, 1973 ; Pruitt, 1981 ; Rubin, Pruitt, & Kim, 1994 ). It is both what people experiencing conflict intend to do, as well as what they actually do (De Dreu, Evers, Beersma, Kluwer, & Nauta, 2001 ; Van de Vliert, 1997 ). In conflict situations people often respond primarily, following their emotions, more or less conscientiously.

Many factors affect how people respond to the experience of conflict. Social psychology shows the processes are largely unconscious (Wilson, 2004 ). For example, how people respond to intimidating behavior by their supervisor might be primarily influenced by the context and individual perception, as well as previous relations with persons in authority, including parents and teachers (Gelfand & Brett, 2004 ; Van Kleef & Cote, 2007 ). These natural behavioral responses are also referred to as “conflict styles.” They are rooted in our personality and can differ in context. Some people will naturally respond by being friendly and accommodating, where others will start arguing or fighting (Barbuto, Phipps, & Xu, 2010 ; Kilmann & Thomas, 1977 ; Van Kleef & Cote, 2007 ).

Conflict behavior becomes more effective once we are more aware of our natural tendencies and are also able not to act upon them, and instead to show flexibility in behavioral approaches. This is where conflict behavior becomes conflict management. Therefore, one can be a naturally highly accommodating person who will spontaneously give in to others who make demands, but one will be more effective after learning to assess the situation at hand and to carefully decide on a response, which might be quite different from the natural or spontaneous reaction.

Dual-Concern Model

The dual-concern model holds that the way in which parties handle conflicts can de described and is determined by two concerns: concern for self (own interests) and concern for others (relational interests) (Blake & Mouton, 1964 ; Pruitt & Rubin, 1986 ; Rahim, 1983 ; Thomas, 1992 ; Van de Vliert, 1999 ) (see Figure 1 ). Usually, the two concerns define five different conflict behaviors: forcing, avoiding, accommodating, compromising, and problem solving or integrating. These behaviors are studied at the level of general personal conflict styles, closely connected to personality, as well as at the level of strategies and tactics (Euwema & Giebels, 2017 ).

The different conflict styles have been studied intensively, with three approaches. A normative approach, wherein integrating (also known as problem solving) is seen as the preferred behavior for conflict resolution; a contingency approach, exploring conditions under which each of the behaviors is most appropriate; and a conglomerate approach, focusing on a combination of the behaviors (see “ Conglomerate Conflict Behavior ”).

Figure 1. Dual-concern model.

In forcing, one party aims to achieve his or her goal by imposing a solution onto the other party. Concern for one’s own interests and own vision is what matters. There is little attention and care for the interests and needs of the other party, or the relationship with the other (Euwema & Giebels, 2017 ). This style is appropriate when the outcome is important for one party but trivial to the opponent, or when fast decision making is necessary. It becomes inappropriate when issues are complex, when both parties are equally powerful, when the outcome is not worth the effort for one party, or when there is enough time to make a collective decision. Moreover, forcing decisions can seriously damage a relationship and contribute to bullying in the workplace (Baillien, Bollen, Euwema, & De Witte, 2014 ); however, normative forcing, which is referring to rules and imposing them, can be effective (De Dreu, 2005 ). Note that some alternative terms that have been used for forcing in the literature are competitive , contending , or adversarial behavior .

With avoiding, one party aims to stay out of any confrontation with the other. This behavior prevents efforts to yield, to negotiate constructively, or to compete for one’s own gains. The conflict issue receives little attention, usually because the avoiding party thinks he or she won’t gain from entering into the conflict (Euwema & Giebels, 2017 ; Van de Vliert, 1997 ). Avoiding may be used when the benefits of resolving the conflict are not worth confronting the other party, especially when the problem is trivial or minor; when no good solutions are available for now; or when time is needed (Van Erp et al., 2011 ). An important motive for avoiding also is to prevent loss of face and to maintain the relationship. This is particularly true in collectivistic cultures, particularly in Asian societies (Oetzel et al., 2001 ). Avoiding is inappropriate when the issues are important to a party, when the parties cannot wait, or when immediate action is required (Rahim, 2002 ). Rubin, Pruitt, and Kim ( 1994 ) distinguished between long-term avoidance, which is a permanent move to leave the conflict, and short-term avoidance, defined as temporary inaction.

Accommodating

Accommodating is giving in or going along with the ideas, wishes, and needs of the other party. Accommodating usually is the result of a low concern for one’s own conflictive interests combined with a high concern for the interests and needs of the other party. Giving in often is related to a strong need for harmony and a sensitivity to the needs of the other. Accommodation is useful when a party is not familiar with the issues involved in the conflict, when the opponent is right, when the issue is much more important to the other party, and in order to build or maintain a long-term relationship, in exchange for future consideration when needed. Giving in also can be an educational strategy, giving space to the other to find out what the effect will be. Accommodating is less appropriate when the issue is of great concern, when accommodation creates frustration, or when accommodation reinforces dynamics of exploitation (Spaho, 2013 ). Note that an alternative term for this concept that can be found in the literature is yielding .

Compromising

Compromising involves searching for a middle ground, with an eye on both one’s own interest and the interest of the other. The premise is that both parties must find a middle ground where everyone receives equal consideration, meaning that each party makes some concession (Van de Vliert, 1997 ). Compromising is appropriate when a balance of forces exists and the goals of parties are mutually exclusive (Buddhodev, 2011 ). Compromise leads to a democratic solution; however, it may prevent arriving at a creative solution to the problem and a limited effort to increase resources before distributing them (Spaho, 2013 ).

Problem Solving or Integrating

Problem solving is a win–win strategy aimed at “optimizing rather than satisfying the parties” (Van de Vliert, 1997 , p. 36). Great value is attached to one’s own interests and vision, but also a lot of attention is given to the needs, ideas, and interests of the other. One looks for open and creative solutions that meet both interests. Problem solving or integrating is useful in dealing with complex issues, and it allows both parties to share skills, information, and other resources to redefine the problem and formulate alternative solutions. It is, however, inappropriate when the task is simple or trivial, and when there is no time. Also, it is more difficult to develop when the other party does not have experience in problem solving or when the parties are unconcerned about the outcomes (Pruitt & Rubin, 1986 ). Note that some alternative terms that can be found in the literature for this concept are cooperation and collaboration .

The dual-concern model is used as a contingency model, describing which conflict behaviors are used best under what conditions (Van de Vliert et al., 1997 ), and also as a normative model, promoting integrating behaviors as the most effective style, particularly when it comes to joined outcomes and long-term effectiveness. Forcing, in contrast, is often described as a noncooperative behavior, with risk of escalated and unilateral outcomes (Blake & Mouton, 1964 ; Burke, 1970 ; Deutsch, 1973 ; Fisher & Ury, 1981 ; Pruitt & Rubin, 1986 ; Rahim, 2010 ; Thomas, 1992 ). As a result, authors define forcing and integrating as two opposed behavioral approaches (Tjosvold, Morishima, & Belsheim, 1999 ). Following this model, many scholars during the 1970s and 1980s proposed that individuals use a single behavior in conflict, or that the behaviors should be seen as independent. Therefore, the antecedents and effects of different conflict behaviors are often analyzed separately (Tjosvold, 1997 ; Volkema & Bergmann, 2001 ). However, parties usually try to achieve personal outcomes, and try to reach mutual agreements by combining several behaviors in a conflict episode (Van de Vliert, 1997 ). This is the basic assumption of the conglomerate conflict behavior (CCB) theory (Van de Vliert, Euwema, & Huismans, 1995 ), which established that conflict behaviors are used in a compatible manner, sequentially or simultaneously.

Conglomerate Conflict Behavior (CCB)

In the dual-concern model, a contrast is made between forcing (contending with an adversary in a direct way) and integrating (reconciling the parties’ basic interests) as two opposed behavioral approaches (Tjosvold et al., 1999 ). However, the CCB framework assumes that individual reactions to conflict typically are complex and consist of multiple components of behavior (Van de Vliert, 1997 , Van de Vliert et al., 1995 ). The CCB theory covers the idea that behavioral components may occur simultaneously or sequentially and that the combination drives toward effectiveness (Euwema & Van Emmerik, 2007 ; Medina & Benitez, 2011 ). The theory has been supported in studies analyzing conflict management effectiveness in different contexts, such as in managerial behavior (Munduate, Ganaza, Peiro, & Euwema, 1999 ), in military peacekeeping (Euwema & Van Emmerik, 2007 ) and by worker representatives in organizations (Elgoibar, 2013 ).

The main reason that people combine different behaviors is because conflicts are often mixed-motive situations (Euwema, Van de Vliert, & Bakker, 2003 ; Euwema & Van Emmerik, 2007 ; Walton & McKersie, 1965 ). Mixed-motive situations are described as situations that pose a conflict between securing immediate benefits through competition, and pursuing benefits for oneself and others through cooperation with other people (Komorita & Parks, 1995 ; Sheldon & Fishbach, 2011 ). Therefore, a person's behavior in a conflict episode is viewed as a combination of some of the five forms of conflict behaviors. An example of sequential complex behavior is to first put the demands clearly (forcing), followed by integrating (searching for mutual gains, and expanding the pie), and finally compromising, where distributive issues are dealt with in a fair way. An example of serial complexity can be found in multi-issue conflict, when for some issues conflict can be avoided, while for high priorities, demands are put on the table in a forcing way. Another CCB pattern is the conglomeration of accommodating and forcing. This pattern is sometimes referred to as “logrolling” (Van de Vliert, 1997 , p. 35), and it is a classic part of integrative strategies, to maximize the outcomes for both parties. Logrolling behavior consists of accommodating the high-concern issues of the other party and forcing one’s own high-concern issues. This approach is usually helpful in multi-issue trade negotiations; however, it requires openness of both parties to acknowledging key interests.

How to Explore Your Tendency in Conflict

The most famous and popular conflict behavior questionnaires are:

MODE (Management of Differences Exercise). MODE, developed in 1974 by Thomas and Killman, presents 30 choices between two options representing different conflict styles.

ROCI (Rahim's Organizational Conflict Inventory). The ROCI is a list of 28 items that measures the five styles of conflict behavior described.

Dutch Test of Conflict Handling. This list of 20 items measures the degree of preference for the five styles (Van de Vliert & Euwema, 1994 ; De Dreu et al., 2001 , 2005 ). It has been validated internationally.

Conflict management is deliberate action to deal with conflictive situations, either to prevent or to escalate them. Unlike conflict behavior, conflict management encompasses cognitive responses to conflict situations, which can vary from highly competitive to highly cooperative. Conflict management does not necessarily involve avoidance, reduction, or termination of conflict. It involves designing effective strategies to minimize the dysfunctions of conflict and to enhance the constructive functions of conflict in order to improve team and organizational effectiveness (Rahim, 2002 ).

Conflicts are not necessarily destructive (De Dreu & Gelfand, 2008 ; Euwema, Munduate, Elgoibar, Pender, & Garcia, 2015 ), and research has shown that constructive conflict management is possible (Coleman, Deutsch, & Marcus, 2014 ). The benefits of conflict are much more likely to arise when conflicts are discussed openly, and when discussion skillfully promotes new ideas and generates creative insights and agreements (Coleman et al., 2014 ; De Dreu & Gelfand, 2008 ; Euwema et al., 2015 ; Tjosvold, Won, & Chen, 2014 ). To make a constructive experience from conflict, conflict needs to be managed effectively.

Deutsch’s classic theory of competition and cooperation describes the antecedents and consequences of parties’ cooperative or competitive orientations and allows insights into what can give rise to constructive or destructive conflict processes (Deutsch, 1973 , 2002 ). The core of the theory is the perceived interdependence of the parties, so that the extent that protagonists believe that their goals are cooperative (positively related) or competitive (negatively related) affects their interaction and thus the outcomes. Positive interdependence promotes openness, cooperative relations, and integrative problem solving. Perceived negative interdependence on the other hand, induces more distance and less openness, and promotes competitive behavior, resulting in distributive bargaining or win–lose outcomes (Tjosvold et al., 2014 ).

Whether the protagonists believe their goals are cooperative or competitive very much affects their expectations, interactions, and outcomes. If parties perceive that they can reach their goals only if the other party also reaches their goals, the goal interdependence is positively perceived and therefore parties will have higher concern for the other’s goals and manage the conflict cooperatively (De Dreu et al., 2001 ; Tjosvold et al., 2014 ). On the contrary, if one party perceives that they can reach their goals only if the other party fails to obtain their goals, the interdependence becomes negatively perceived and the approach to conflict becomes competitive (Tjosvold et al., 2014 ). Goals can also be independent; in that case, conflict can be avoided (the parties don’t need to obstruct each other’s goals to be successful). Therefore, how parties perceive their goals’ interdependence affects how they negotiate conflict and whether the conflict is constructively or destructively managed (Alper et al., 2000 ; Deutsch, 1973 ; Johnson & Johnson, 1989 ; Tjosvold, 2008 ).

Successfully managing conflict cooperatively requires intellectual, emotional, and relational capabilities in order to share information, to contribute to value creation, and to discuss differences constructively (Fisher & Ury, 1981 ; Tjosvold et al., 2014 ). In contrast, a competitive-destructive process leads to material losses and dissatisfaction, worsening relations between parties, and negative psychological effects on at least one party—the loser of a win–lose context (Deutsch, 2014 ).

Deutsch’s theory proposes that emphasizing cooperative goals in conflict by demonstrating a commitment to pursue mutually beneficial solutions creates high-quality resolutions and relationships, while focusing on competitive interests by pursuing one’s own goals at the expense of the other’s escalates conflict, resulting in imposed solutions and suspicious relationships (Tjosvold et al., 2014 ).

In summary, Deutsch’s theory states that the context in which the conflict process is expressed drives parties toward either a cooperative or a competitive orientation in conflicts (Alper et al., 2000 ; Deutsch, 2006 ; Johnson & Johnson, 1989 ). In other words, a cooperative context is related to a cooperative conflict pattern, and a competitive context is related to a competitive conflict pattern. When parties have a cooperative orientation toward conflict, parties discuss their differences with the objective of clarifying them and attempting to find a solution that is satisfactory to both parties—both parties win (Carnevale & Pruitt, 1992 ). On the contrary, in competition, there is usually a winner and a loser (Carnevale & Pruitt, 1992 ) (see Table 1 ). In the CCB model, the patterns can include cooperative (i.e., integrating) and competitive (i.e. forcing) behavior; however, the cooperative pattern will be dominated by integrating while the competitive pattern will be dominated by forcing (Elgoibar, 2013 ).

Table 1. Characteristics of Cooperative and Competitive Climates

Source : Coleman, Deutsch, and Marcus ( 2014 ).

How to Manage Conflicts Constructively

The need for trust.

Trust is commonly defined as a belief or expectation about others’ benevolent motives during a social interaction (Holmes & Rempel, 1989 ; Rousseau et al., 1998 ). Mutual trust is one important antecedent as well as a consequence of cooperation in conflicts (Deutsch, 1983 ; Ferrin, Bligh, & Kohles, 2008 ). As Nahapiet and Ghoshal pointed out, “Trust lubricates cooperation, and cooperation itself breeds trust” ( 1998 , p.255). There is ample evidence that constructive conflict and trust are tightly and positively related (Hempel, Zhang, & Tjosvold, 2009 ; Bijlsma & Koopman, 2003 ; Lewicki, Tonlinson, & Gillespie, 2006 ).

Successful constructive conflict management requires maximal gathering and exchange of information in order to identify problems and areas of mutual concern, to search for alternatives, to assess their implications, and to achieve openness about preferences in selecting optimal solutions (Bacon & Blyton, 2007 ; Johnson & Johnson, 1989 ; Tjosvold, 1999 ). Trust gives parties the confidence to be open with each other, knowing that the shared information won’t be used against them (Zaheer & Zaheer, 2006 ). Various studies revealed that trust leads to constructive conglomerate behaviors and to more integrative outcomes in interpersonal and intergroup conflicts (Lewicki, Elgoibar, & Euwema, 2016 ; Lewicki, McAllister, & Bies, 1998 ; Ross & LaCroix, 1996 ).

How can trust be promoted? Developing trust is challenging (Gunia, Brett, & Nandkeolyar, 2014 ; Hempel et al., 2009 ). Numerous scholars have noted that trust is easier to destroy than to create (Hempel et al., 2009 ; Meyerson et al., 1996 ). There are two main reasons for this assertion. First, trust-breaking events are often more visible and noticeable than positive trust-building actions (Kramer, 1999 ). Second, trust-breaking events are judged to have a higher impact on trust judgments than positive events (Slovic, 1993 ). Furthermore, Slovic ( 1993 ) concluded that trust-breaking events are more credible than sources of good news. Thus, the general belief is that trust is easier to destroy than it is to build, and trust rebuilding may take even longer than it took to create the original level of trust (Lewicki et al., 2016 ).

However, there is room for optimism, and different strategies have been shown to promote trust. As held in social exchange theory (Blau, 1964 ), risk taking by one party in supporting the other party has been found to signal trust to the other party (Serva et al., 2005 ). Yet, fears of exploitation make trust in conflict management and negotiation scarce. Therefore, the use of trust-promoting strategies depends on the specific situation, and parties need practical guidance on how and when to manage conflict constructively by means of promoting mutual trust.

How does the possibility of trust development between parties depend on the conflict context? Based on this practical question, some strategies for trust development have been proposed (Fisher & Ury, 1981 ; Fulmer & Gelfand, 2012 ; Gunia, Brett, & Nandkeolyar, 2012 ; Lewicki et al., 2016 ). In relationships where trust is likely, the following strategies can help: assume trustworthiness, prioritize your interests and give away a little information about them, engage in reciprocity (concessions), highlight similarities and spend time together, get to know your counterpart personally and try to be likable, behave consistently and predictably, and paraphrase your counterpart’s positions. In relationships where trust seems possible: emphasize common goals; focus on the subject, not on the people; look to the future and find a shared vision; mix questions and answers about interests and priorities—the fundamental elements of information sharing—with making and justifying offers; take a break; suggest another approach; call in a mediator; and forgive the other party’s mistakes. In relationships where trust is not possible, more cautious strategies can help: make multi-issue offers; think holistically about your counterpart’s interests; engage in reciprocity (concessions); express sympathy, apologize, or compliment your counterpart; and look for preference patterns in your counterpart’s offers and responses.

Constructive Controversy

C onstructive controversy is defined as the open-minded discussion of conflicting perspectives for mutual benefit, which occurs when protagonists express their opposing ideas that obstruct resolving the issues, at least temporarily (Tjosvold et al., 2014 ). Indicators of constructive controversy include listening carefully to each other’s opinion, trying to understand each other’s concerns, and using opposing views to understand the problem better. These skills are considered vitally important for developing and implementing cooperative problem-solving processes successfully and effectively.

Deutsch ( 2014 ) stated that there haven’t been many systematic discussions of the skills involved in constructive solutions to conflict, and he proposed three main types of skills for constructive conflict management:

Rapport-building skills are involved in establishing effective relationships between parties (such as breaking the ice; reducing fears, tensions, and suspicion; overcoming resistance to negotiation; and fostering realistic hope and optimism).

Cooperative conflict-resolution skills are concerned with developing and maintaining a cooperative conflict resolution process among the parties involved (such as identifying the type of conflict in which the parties are involved; reframing the issues so that conflict is perceived as a mutual problem to be resolved cooperatively; active listening and responsive communication; distinguishing between effective relationships between parties and positions; encouraging, supporting, and enhancing the parties; being alert to cultural differences and the possibilities of misunderstanding arising from them; and controlling anger).

Group process and decision-making skills are involved in developing a creative and productive process (such as monitoring progress toward group goals; eliciting, clarifying, coordinating, summarizing, and integrating the contributions of the various participants; and maintaining group cohesion).

Tjosvold et al. ( 2014 ) and Johnson et al. ( 2014 ) also elaborate on the skills needed for facilitating open-minded discussions and constructive controversy. They developed four mutually reinforcing strategies for managing conflict constructively:

Developing and expressing one’s own view. Parties need to know what each of the others wants and believes, and expressing one’s own needs, feelings, and ideas is essential to gaining that knowledge. By strengthening expression of their own positions, both parties can learn to investigate their position, present the best case they can for it, defend it vigorously, and try at the same time to refute opposing views. However, expressing one’s own position needs to be supplemented with an open-minded approach to the other’s position.

Questioning and understanding others’ views. Listening and understanding opposing views, as well as defending one’s own views, makes discussing conflicts more challenging but also more rewarding; therefore, the parties can point out weaknesses in each other’s arguments to encourage better development and expression of positions by finding more evidence and strengthening their reasoning.

Integrating and creating solutions. The creation of new alternatives lays the foundation for genuine agreements about a solution that both parties can accept and implement. However, protagonists may have to engage in repeated discussion to reach an agreement, or indeed they may be unable to create a solution that is mutually acceptable, and then they can both learn to become less adamant, to exchange views directly, and to show that they are trying to understand and integrate each other’s ideas so that all may benefit.

Agreeing to and implementing solutions. Parties can learn to seek the best reasoned judgment, instead of focusing on “winning”; to criticize ideas, not people; to listen and understand everyone’s position, even if they do not agree with it; to differentiate positions before trying to integrate them; and to change their minds when logically persuaded to do so.

Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution processes are aimed at ending a conflict. So, while conflict management can also include escalation, conflict resolution searches for a way of ending the conflict. The difference between resolution and management of conflict is more than semantic (Robbins, 1978 ). Conflict resolution means reduction, elimination, or termination of conflict.

To find a resolution, parties have to bring an extra piece of information, relate the information they have differently, or transform the issue, change the rules, change the actors or the structure, or bring in a third party (Vayrynen, 1991 ). The most popular conflict resolution processes are: negotiation, mediation, conflict coaching, and arbitration (Rahim, 2002 ). Conflict resolution can also be accomplished by ruling by authorities. Integration of the different techniques sequentially or simultaneously has been shown to support optimal conflict resolution (Jones, 2016 ).

Negotiation

Negotiation is a process in which the parties attempt to jointly create an agreement that resolves a conflict between them (Lewicki & Tomlinson, 2014 ). Walton and McKersie ( 1965 ) were the first to identify the two polar yet interdependent strategies known as distributive and integrative negotiation. Distributive negotiation means that activities are instrumental to the attainment of one party’s goals when they are in basic conflict with those of the other party. Integrative negotiation means that parties’ activities are oriented to find common or complementary interests and to solve problems confronting both parties. Other scholars also focused on the opposite tactical requirements of the two strategies, using a variety of terms, such as contending versus cooperating (Pruitt, 1981 ), claiming value versus creating value (Lax & Sebenius, 1987 ), and the difference between positions and interests (Fisher & Ury, 1981 ).

If a distributive strategy is pursued too vigorously, a negotiator may gain a greater share of gains, but of a smaller set of joint gains, or, worse, may generate an outcome in which both parties lose. However, if a negotiator pursues an integrative negotiation in a single-minded manner—being totally cooperative and giving freely accurate and credible information about his/her interests—he or she can be taken advantage of by the other party (Walton & McKersie, 1965 ). The different proposals that have been formulated to cope with these central dilemmas in negotiation are mainly based on a back-and-forth communication process between the parties, which is linked to the negotiators’ interpersonal skills (Brett, Shapiro, & Lytle, 1998 ; Fisher & Ury, 1981 ; Rubin et al., 1994 ).

Mediation is process by which a third party facilitates constructive communication among disputants, including decision making, problem solving and negotiation, in order to reach a mutually acceptable agreement (Bollen, Munduate, & Euwema, 2016 ; Goldman, Cropanzano, Stein, & Benson, 2008 ; Moore, 2014 ). Using mediation in conflict resolution has been proven to prevent the negative consequences of conflict in the workplace (Bollen & Euwema, 2010 ; Bollen et al., 2016 ), in collective bargaining (Martinez-Pecino et al., 2008 ), in inter- and intragroup relations (Jones, 2016 ), and in interpersonal relations (Herrman, 2006 ). However, mediation is not a magic bullet and works better in conflicts that are moderate rather than extreme, when parties are motivated to resolve the conflict, and when parties have equal power, among other characteristics (Kressel, 2014 ).

Conflict Coaching

Conflict coaching is a new and rapidly growing process in the public as well as private sector (Brinkert, 2016 ). In this process, a conflict coach works with a party to accomplish three goals (Jones & Brinkert, 2008 ): (a) analysis and coherent understanding of the conflict, (b) identification of a future preferred direction, and (c) skills development to implement the preferred strategy. Therefore, a conflict coach is defined as a conflict expert who respects the other party’s self-determination and aims to promote the well-being of the parties involved. Giebels and Janssen ( 2005 ) found that, when outside help was called in, parties in conflict experienced fewer negative consequences in terms of individual well-being than people who did not ask for third-party help.

Sometimes, the leader of a team can act as conflict coach. A study by Romer and colleagues ( 2012 ) showed that a workplace leader’s problem-solving approach to conflicts increased employees’ perception of justice and their sense that they had a voice in their workplace, as well as reduced employees’ stress (De Reuver & Van Woerkom, 2010 ; Romer et al., 2012 ). In contrast, the direct expression of power in the form of forcing behavior can harm employees’ well-being (Peterson & Harvey, 2009 ). A forcing leader may become an additional party to the conflict (i.e., employees may turn against their leader; Romer et al, 2012 ).

Conflict coaching and mediation are different processes. First, in conflict coaching, only one party is involved in the process, while in mediation, the mediator helps all the parties in conflict to engage in constructive interaction. Second, conflict coaching focuses on direct skills instructions to the party (i.e., negotiation skills). In that, conflict coaching is also a leadership development tool (Romer et al., 2012 ). There is a growing tendency to integrate conflict coaching and workplace mediation, particularly in preparation for conflict resolution, because the coach can help the coached party to investigate options and weigh the advantages of the different options (Jones, 2016 ).

Arbitration

Arbitration is an institutionalized procedure in which a third party provides a final and binding or voluntary decision (Lewicki, Saunders, & Barry, 2014 ; Mohr & Spekman, 1994 ). Arbitration allows the parties to have control over the process, but not over the outcomes. Therefore, arbitration differs from negotiation, mediation, and conflict coaching, in which the parties decide the agreement themselves (Posthuma & Dworkin, 2000 ; Lewicki et al., 2014 ). In arbitration, the third party listens to the parties and decides the outcome. This procedure is used mainly in conflicts between organizations, in commercial disputes, and in collective labor conflicts (Beechey, 2000 ; Elkouri & Elkouri, 1995 ).

Decision Making by Authorities

The strategies of negotiation, mediation, conflict coaching, and arbitration have in common that the parties together decide about the conflict process, even when they agree to accept an arbitration. This is different from how authorities resolve conflict. Decision making by authorities varies from parents’ intervening in children’s fights to rulings by teachers, police officers, managers, complaint officers, ombudsmen, and judges. Here, often one party complains and the authority acts to intervene and end the conflict. This strategy is good for ending physical violence and misuse of power. However, the authorities’ decisive power is limited, and therefore in most situations authorities are strongly urged to first explore the potential for conflict resolution and reconciliation among the parties involved. The authority can act as an escalator for the process, or as a facilitator, and only in cases of immediate threat can intervene or rule as a last resort. Authorities who employ this strategy can improve the learning skills of the parties and can impose upon the parties an acceptance of responsibility, both for the conflict and for the ways to end it.

It is important to emphasize the natural and positive aspects of conflict management. Conflict occurs in all areas of organizations and private lives and its management is vital for their effectiveness. Through conflict, conventional thinking is challenged, threats and opportunities are identified, and new solutions are forged (Tjosvold et al., 2014 ). Therefore, when conflict occurs, it shouldn’t be avoided but should be managed constructively.

Further Reading

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How to Resolve Conflict in Workplace Essay

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Introduction

Theoretical background, causes of conflicts in the workplace, impacts of workplace conflict, handling conflicts in the workplace, nature and solutions of workplace conflicts, recommendations, reference list.

The inevitability of conflicts within an organization suggests that organizational leaders need to embrace them rather than avoid them. Thus, although there are many ways of dealing with conflicts at workplaces, such as collaboration, compromise, competing, avoidance, and accommodation, any strategy that emphasizes leaving conflicts unaddressed is inappropriate.

Conflicts often produce a negative implication on the performance of an organization (Bagshaw, 2004). Since the principal goal of organizational leadership is to look for mechanisms of resolving challenges, which may hinder the performance of an organization so that it delivers value to its owners (shareholders), conflict avoidance constitutes a risky approach to conflict management.

Organizations comprise people from different cultural, professional, racial, age, and other demographic backgrounds. Where people are segregated along these diversity differences, cultural conflicts arise. This suggests that managers and leaders within organizations encounter immense challenges in seeking effective strategies for recruitment, training, developing, and retaining the most talented personnel in an organization characterized by immense workforce diversities.

These challenges become even more pronounced as many organizations endeavor to engage in global businesses as a measure of increasing their competitive advantage. The more diverse the workforce is, the higher the risks of workplace conflicts associated with diversity differences. However, organizations gain from higher workforce innovation and creativity potential upon adopting effective strategies for handling this diversity.

Defining Workplace Conflicts

In a healthy organization, conflicts are predictable. Workplaces bring people from different cultural backgrounds. Such people have different opinions and views towards various issues encountered in an organization’s daily activities. Such different opinions and views create points of parity and disparity. The disparities lead to conflicts. Bacal (1998, p. 8) defines workplace conflict as “issues that generate frequent expressions of emotions, frustration, and anger.”

This suggests that whenever two or more people work together, they disagree on strategies for accomplishing some desired outcomes. Such disagreements can be either constructive or destructive in an organization. In fact, Bacal (1998) refers to destructive conflicts as ugly clashes, while constructive disagreements are good organizational conflicts. While it is impossible to eliminate workplace conflicts, destructive conflicts are highly undesirable. They should be kept at minimal levels.

Organizations, individuals, and even work teams require constructive conflict for them to grow. Engaging in opposing discussions, especially on mechanisms of accomplishing certain outcomes, creates opportunities for “thinking and doing things that can be useful to everyone” (Bacal, 1998, p.8).

In this sense, the outcomes of decisions made following engagements in constructive conflicts are in favor and accommodative of all key stakeholders’ interests within an organization. Destructive conflicts make people in an organization uncomfortable.

In some situations, escalated conflicts have the implication of compelling people to quit (Bagshaw, 2004). Organizations that experience destructive conflicts also encounter challenges of “…lower morale, lower productivity, higher turnover, and more employee burnout” (Bacal, 1998, p.8). This suggests that organizational leaders and managers should focus on eliminating destructive conflicts while encouraging constructive conflicts in an effort to build higher-performing organizations.

Workplace conflicts are broadly subdivided into caustic and productive conflicts. Destructive conflicts often involve personality clashes. This occurs when people fail to get along with one another. This type of conflict in the workplace is often fuelled by emotion and perceptions about somebody else’s motives and character. For example, a team leader jumps on someone for being late because they view the team member as lazy and disrespectful.

The team member sees the team leader as out to ‘get’ them because they are not one of the ‘favored children.’ The second type occurs when people view decisions and ideas articulated to a given job or task differently. Conflicting ideas become productive in the event that parties in conflicts have the willingness to engage in brainstorming sessions (Bacal, 1998). In such situations, compromised ideas are, at times, better in enhancing the success of an organization compared to an original idea.

As a cause of workplace conflicts, as hinted above, personality clashes initiate disputes regarding certain business practices, which then skyrocket into mutual loathing (Collinsin & Rourke, 2005). In some cases, two people may not like each other right from the beginning due to diversity differences and other personality differences.

This claim implies that workplace diversity may be a big contributor to conflicts within an organization. Personality clashes also contribute to workplace disputes, which may escalate to become conflicts since people possess different beliefs, values, and approaches to handling problems. When people fail or have difficulties in appreciating and embracing other people’s work methods, clashes emerge.

Some conflicts within an organization can emerge due to a lack of trust in the HR to handle differences between two disagreeing employees. The situation makes the parties engaged in conflict expand their differences when permitted to take matters into their hands. Therefore, HRM deserves to evaluate the circumstances that may cause disregard the consideration of the roles of HRM in conflict resolution by employees.

Gramberg (2005, p. 94) supports this position by further claiming, “interpersonal skills are important to managers with regard to building workplace trust and cooperation from staff members who are collectively accountable for furthering business goals.” In fact, one of the roles of management in an organization is to ensure a peaceful environment characterized by workforce collaboration in the effort to meet an organization’s goals, mission, and aims.

Failure of employee collaboration may give rise to workplace conflicts. Other causes of conflicts within workplaces include poor or inadequate communication, which gives rise to misunderstandings, and limited organizational resources, which lead to competition and conflicting needs. Poor performance in tasks that are allocated to employees may also lead to conflicts when some tasks with higher effort input demands or when poorly completed tasks are reallocated to other employees.

Globalized organizations embrace diversity in their workforce. This strategic initiative is impaired by the belief that employing people from diverse backgrounds gives an organization a competitive advantage. For instance, an organization develops the capacity to tap and benefit from a wide range of talents and knowledge bases (Johnson & Keddy, 2010). This means that an organization is able to innovate and create a wide range of products, which translates into increased profitability while traded in the global markets.

Focusing on diversity as a strategic initiative for an organization delivers gains in terms of enhanced growth through an increment of product range due to innovation that is brought by people possessing different capabilities working together. However, it is crucial to note that diversity also brings together people from different cultural backgrounds (Gramberg, 2005).

The above assertion implies that diversity has the impact of creating cultural conflicts in workplaces. Institute of Leadership and Management (2007) confirms how the HRM is important in resolving such conflicts since it helps to create a common organizational culture by helping employees understand that different people have different abilities and beliefs and that these differences should not be permitted to influence the way people relate with one another.

Alternatively, diversity differences need to avoid personality clashes within workplaces. The HR, being charged with ensuring that employees work in harmony without conflicting situations that lead to personality clashes, should deploy diversity to enhance success by treating any conflict arising from cultural differences and frictions as an act of indiscipline and negligence to comply with an established organizational culture.

While this role may be well established in the outline of the mandates of the HRM in an organization, communication may hinder the success of the initiatives deployed by HR to curb personality conflicts.

Studies by Bacal (1998) and Lee (2008) identify communication as a major cause of workplace conflicts. Leaders for dynamic organizations appreciate the importance of effective communication, particularly while working in an environment of consistent change.

Communication has the ability to deliver tangible products as opposed to being a soft component of leadership roles. Improving the satisfaction of consumers, enhancing the quality of service delivery and product quality, and enhancing retention together with the satisfaction of employees depend on effective communication (Lee, 2008). These aspects also constitute the ingredients of workplace conflicts.

In an organization that employs people from diverse backgrounds, communication is the tool deployed to harness individual differences of employees to align them to a common organizational culture guided by the aims, missions, goals, and objectives of the organization (Johnson & Keddy 2010). This suggests that communication is also important in the effective resolution of employee conflicts. Conflicts influence employee productivity. Hence, the performance of an organization is also affected negatively.

Poor communication often results in resistance to change, especially where the persons working in an organization consider the changes being implemented as threats to their jobs and personal excellence.

For instance, while personnel at the headquarters of an organization may be fighting for standardization of products produced by an organization to ease supply chain and logistics challenges, workers at departmental levels of various products may be opposed to such an endeavor. This disparity creates destructive workplace conflicts between an organization and employees at different hierarchical levels.

Inadequate communication at the intra-organizational levels may result in different perceptions of ideas and strategies that will enhance organizational success in the market (Bacal, 1998). This claim implies that conflicts in ideology minimize the opportunities for channeling organizational energy to the implementation of ideas and strategies that will enhance the increment of productivity of an organization.

Communicating both adequately and effectively is crucial for the elimination of workplace conflicts. Institute of Leadership and Management (2007) confirms that the availability of adequate and unambiguous information helps employees to collectively support effectively while doing what is within their capacity to ensure that an organization succeeds in the direction set by leaders and managers.

In this sense, the goal of an effective communication program within an organization is to foster a change in employees’ behaviors and perceptions toward other employees, which may trigger personality clashes.

Effecting the desired change in an organization through communication takes different forms. It may involve the harmonization of people’s attitudes or alteration of work processes in an effort to support the organization’s success by eliminating the clash of ideas in the manner of executing various job elements, which may be destructive.

Effective communication entails communicating strategies for success through translating the essential business objectives and goals into terms that employees can understand easily (Johnson & Keddy, 2010).

In response to such communication, employees become engaged and aligned in readiness to work collectively toward driving organizational success. In fact, when communication fails, misunderstanding arises, resulting in the failure of employees to execute tasks as desired by managers and leaders. This translates into workplace conflicts between managers, supervisors, and leaders with employees.

The human resource arm of an organization has an immense responsibility to ensure that top talent within an organization is retained. HRM is the core competency of an organization whose objective is to handle issues related to employees.

Such issues include enhancing motivation, enhancing job satisfaction, laying remuneration structures, giving advice on promotions, and aiding an organization to acquire top talent through selection and recruitment. Addressing issues that result in poor performance of employees, such as poor job satisfaction, calls for the HRM to establish correlations for the challenges. Lee (2008) identifies ugly workplace conflicts as one of the correlates of poor job satisfaction.

As a core competency for an organization, HRM engages in tasks such as training and development and managing conflicts within organizations through conflict resolution. Conflicts that HRM enhances their management are between an organization and employees or between employees and other employees. These conflicts produce both positive and negative impacts on an organization.

Conflicts may have the impact of creating opportunities for organizational growth. Bacal (1998) supports this impact by adding that a good organizational conflict entails providing the means for learning and setting mechanisms for fostering employee cooperation.

Collins and Rourke (2005) maintain that conflicts may create an opportunity for employees to learn strategies for effectively handling similar conflicts in the future.

While workplace conflicts may emanate from poor communication, conflicts can provide a means through which people become aware and/or understand the various issues that may translate into future conflicts.

Through this understanding, people are able to develop honesty and transparent organizational communication channels (Lee, 2008). Different ideas and angles of view on a given issue that may be influencing an organization have the impact of creating well-brainstormed ideas, which aid an organization in achieving better performance levels.

Organizational performance is a function of many variables. Some of these variables are workforce morale, employee turnover rates, productivity, and employee burnout. Bacal (1998) confirms that these variables correlate directly with workplace conflicts.

As revealed before, one of the common causes of workplace conflicts is workforce diversity, especially in terms of professional capabilities and cultural differences. This assertion implies that effective management of workforce diversity can improve workforce productivity, enhance workforce engagement, and foster the reduction of staff absenteeism and workforce turnover.

HRM plays a central role in handling all issues negatively influencing employees’ productivity in the workplace. In case of ugly conflicts, diversity implies leading to conflicts, which impair employees’ productivity by lowering their work morale. However, an organization will benefit if good organizational conflicts arise from diversity differences.

Google provides an important benchmark on how positive conflicts of workforce diversity can enhance the performance of an organization. Google Company gains from the varied viewpoints of its diverse workforce in effect that such a workforce provides increased problem-solving capacities and enhanced creativity levels.

In this context, it is inferable that proper management of good organizational conflicts involving exchange and disagreement on various ideas akin to diversity differences in talent and creativity levels has positive impacts. For instance, the creativity and innovativeness of a diverse workforce have made Google gain via establishing a central position in the competitive market.

The goal of managing workforce conflicts is to ensure that conflicts do not negatively impact organizations’ success. Labor turnover constitutes one of the negative impacts of workplace conflicts. In many organizations, labor turnover is deployed as a measure of performance. It measures the decisions of the worker to remain committed to the work of an organization (Bacal, 1998). Employee turnover is divided into two main types: voluntary and involuntary turnover.

Voluntary turnover occurs when employees decide to quit employment out of their own will to engage in other activities, such as self-employment, but not because the job was dissatisfying. In the case of involuntary turnover, people are compelled by circumstances to quit their employment. Such circumstances include poor pay, perception of exploitation, conflicts with other employees, and work-personal life conflicts, among other reasons.

Labor turnover is controllable or unavoidable in some situations. For instance, where workplace conflicts cause labor turnover, proper management of such conflicts can control and avoid them. Where this does not happen, the impacts of labor turnover due to destructive workplace conflicts have serious consequences on the performance of an organization both in the short and long term.

McClure (2004) contends that high turnover in organizations leads to increased costs of recruitment together with training of new employees to fill the gap left by the outgoing employees. Turnover is one of the issues that organizations seeking to exploit cost competitiveness as a strategy of success should address proactively. Addressing it proactively calls for organizations to deal with its causation, such as workplace conflicts.

The best approach to the management of organizational conflicts encompasses developing strategies for their prevention (Wisinski, 2003). However, the occurrence of conflicts indicates potential problems that negatively impact employees’ productivity, such as low motivation.

They also create opportunities for establishing good relationships among work teams and individuals when arbitration, mediation, and reconciliation efforts succeed. Considering that good relationship among employees is the foundation for higher work team productivity, mild destructive workplace conflicts in this sense can help build better-performing work teams.

In practice, employees are not able to handle misunderstandings with their peers in an effective way before such misunderstandings have translated to personality clashes. The realization of this argument calls for the management to step in to look for mechanisms for handling conflicts (Myatt, 2012; Cloke & Goldsmith, 2005).

One such mechanism is adopting disciplinary measures for employees engaging in unproductive conflicts. However, intra-communication and inter-communication strategies are vital before disciplinary action is adopted.

This move calls for HR managers to possess good interpersonal and intrapersonal communication skills. “These skills are deployed to help harness employees’ personal and social skills that are necessary for conflict resolution” (Masters & Albright, 2002, p.117).

Indeed, interpersonal communication comprises an essential skill in conflict management within an organization in the effort to diffuse various stressful environments together with hostile situations, which may create fertile grounds for the development of conflicts (Myatt, 2012, para.8).

In organizational settings, the emergence of conflicts is hard to prevent. According to Gramberg (2005), the main challenge is how to resolve workplace conflicts. To reduce incidences of defiant behaviors, effective management of employees entails effectively communicating the rules and procedures of punishing employees in case of breach of the established rules and regulations that define the codes of ethics and organizational culture.

Since any grievances and disciplinary actions within an organization begin with clear and precise communication of the implications of an employee’s acts of misconduct, interpersonal and intrapersonal communication skills are an important requirement for a manager who endeavors to prepare, conduct, and conclude grievance and disciplinary cases effectively.

Scholars have developed many models to describe various mechanisms of resolving conflicts within an organization. Thomas-Kilmann proposed one such model. According to his model, conflicts can be handled using five main styles: accommodating, shunning, working together, rivalry, and compromising.

Accommodation involves the decision by an organization to cooperate with parties in conflict to the highest possible degree. Often, one party works against its desired goals and/or outcomes. The strategy works well when one party in conflict has a better solution to a given problem (Masters & Albright, 2002). It helps in building strong ties between two or more parties in conflict.

Alternatively, one may choose to ignore the need to resolve a given conflict. This approach entails the resolution of conflicts by avoiding them. This style works well when the effective solution is costly, when one perceives that he or she has minimal probabilities for winning, or when an issue in conflict is trivial. However, avoiding is not an effective strategy in the long term (Bagshaw, 2004: Bacal, 1998).

The collaboration includes partnering to follow a goal that another party pursues. During the collaboration, an effort is made to accommodate all people’s ideas for synthesis to develop a single superior idea for resolving a conflict.

Such an idea also needs to consider all points of agreement and disagreement between the collaborating parties (Bagshaw, 2004). This way, it becomes possible to break away from the win-lose strategy to explore the win-win strategy. This approach requires an incredibly high capacity to trust one another in the development of a superior idea for the resolution of a conflict.

The approach is opposed to the competing technique in which the focus is on the win-lose approach to conflict resolution (Gramberg, 2005). Competing approaches work well in times of dire need to make quick decisions. In the case of compromising, parties in conflict focus on a lose-lose strategy. The approach is best suited whenever parties in conflict pursue goals and objectives that cannot converge.

Lee (2008) asserts that managers should engage in communication with employees and other organizational stakeholders for a number of reasons. One of the reasons is attributed to the expensiveness of ineffective communication in an organization. In modern workplaces, communication in management is important since workplace environments continue to be sophisticated.

They also involve complex interaction processes among all individual units that make the whole organization. Consequently, collaboration capability enables an organization to gain from a diverse creative workforce that requires ardent and unambiguous communication (Lee, 2008). This way, it becomes possible to handle workplace conflicts that are attributed to poor and inadequate communication.

Upon establishing the issues that attract conflicts between various employees and/or an organization, the focus shifts to establishing mechanisms of healing the wounds caused by a conflict.

In this process, Gramberg (2005) identifies reconciliation, arbitration, and mediation as important techniques for handling workplace conflicts. Reconciliation involves the admission of wrongdoing followed by forgiveness. Mediation involves bringing two parties in conflict together through a third party by revisiting the series of events or disputes that led to the conflict.

This step is then followed by suggesting codes of behavior or reactions that should have prevented the conflict. In each case, the parties in conflict identify their own mistakes and put effort into ensuring they would not repeat the same mistakes in future workplace interaction processes (Gramberg, 2005). Arbitration through a third non-partisan party, including a court, becomes important where conflicts have translated to personal injuries and/or paying off damages is necessary.

From the discussions in the literature review section, workplace conflicts have both negative and positive impacts. Even ugly conflicts may also have some aspects of positive impacts if managed effectively. Managing workplace conflicts requires the deployment of various techniques and approaches. From the Thomas-Kilmann model for conflict management, the techniques involve avoiding, challenging, teamwork, negotiation, and accommodation.

In the context of the Gramberg (2005), arbitration, reconciliation, and mediation can suffice as solutions to workplace conflicts. The appropriateness of each of these solutions depends on the cause of conflicts encountered by an organization and the desired outcomes. For instance, organizations seeking to have a motivated workforce in a bid to enhance their productivity in the long term will seek solutions that have long-term outcomes in the resolution of employee conflicts.

Based on the literature review, one of the causes of conflicts in the workplace is the allocation of tasks that are impartially done by poorly performing employees to higher performing employees after they (higher performing employees) have completed their allocated work. A possible solution to this challenge encompasses the deployment of performance-based pay systems.

Performance-based reimbursement is a system of payment in which people are rewarded or paid equivalently for their amount of work or output. A good example of this payment mechanism is the payment of salespeople on commission, depending on the number of sales made. Another potential cause of conflicts in an organization is personality clashes. A possible solution involves employing people with diverse personality traits.

When a conflict occurs, accepting it as the status quo followed by its avoidance may be a possible response to workplace conflicts with the anticipation that the conflict will fade (Collinsin & Rourke, 2005). Alternatively, parties in conflicts can work collaboratively to establish a common ground of mutual benefit. This approach can sometimes fail to work, with parties resorting to compromising, accommodation, or competing.

Competing calls for parties to engage in a dialogue such that the best party emerges the winner. The losing party follows the directive issued by the winner. This alternative opposes the compromising option, which advocates for parties in conflict to consider acquiring little gains and/or incur some losses in the effort to establish a middle ground. People wishing to embrace accommodation as an alternative to the resolution of conflicts surrender their demands and needs in the quest to please another party (Gramberg, 2005).

In these five alternatives, parties in conflict may engage in dialogue voluntarily without mediation from a third non-partisan party. Bringing parties in conflict into an agreement may also call for arbitration. In situations where one party admits wrongdoing, reconciliation becomes an important alternative to the solution of workplace conflicts.

Diversity constitutes a major cause of conflicts within an organization. It refers to the myriads of differences existing among people working in an organization concerning parameters such as gender, race, community values, age, sexual affection, income levels, work experience, parental status, religious beliefs, ethnicity, religion, and physical abilities.

Where organizational culture reinforces the significance of diversity differences in contributing to and explaining workplace behaviors, performance levels, stigmatization of abilities of various people, and stereotyping of people from a given cultural background, ugly conflicts are inevitable. A solution to this challenge is developing an organizational culture that embraces workforce differences in line with an organization’s goals, objectives, and mission.

Tackling Conflict: Conflict Management Styles, Implication of Conflict Management Styles, and the Relationship between Conflict Management and Job Satisfaction

Traditionally, many organizations were managed hierarchically through a bureaucratic system in which pay level was a function of an employee’s position in the hierarchy of management. Adopting a performance-based pay system in such organizations entails adopting organizational change. Unfortunately, people generally resist change, especially when the desired change influences them negatively.

Performance-based payment system encompasses one of the changes that may face hefty criticisms from employees, particularly those at senior levels in the hierarchical management protocol. Senior employees whose payment needs adjustment to meet their performance levels are most likely to object to the system when a subordinate who records a high-performance level earns a higher income than they do.

On the other hand, the subordinates will embrace the change. Consequently, implementing performance-based pay systems within an organization may create conflicts between employees, their line managers, and supervisors. Additionally, in an effort to earn higher pay, employees may work at unsafe speeds. This situation is undesired. Thus, this solution is inappropriate since it may introduce other conflicts.

An alternative to implementing performance pay systems involves seeking to resolve workplace conflicts related to personality clashes by employing people of assorted personality traits. While this strategy has the merits of ensuring that people with similar personalities work under similar work environments, it becomes hard to find enough people possessing exactly similar personality traits in large work teams.

For effectiveness in the performance of a work team, diversity in personality traits may also be important, especially where an organization intends to create a work team that engages in constructive conflicts to enhance the brainstorming of ideas. Consequently, this solution is inappropriate since some levels of disagreements in decision-making processes and the manner of contextualization of issues are important in developing the most effective strategies for enhancing organizational performance.

Parties in workplace engage in conflicts due to different opinions. This implies that seeking to compel conflicting people to establish a compromise, accommodation, or collaboration attracts some challenges since none of the parties would be willing to sacrifice his or her self-esteem. Competing is perhaps the best approach for ensuring that a superior party in a conflict wins.

This boosts the self-esteem of the winner but immensely destroys the self-image of the loser. In the case where conflicts involve issues that are directly related to work, the loser suffers low job morale, which may affect his or her satisfaction with the job. This may lead to an intention of turnover or even the actual turnover. The converse of this claim is true for the winning party.

From an organizational dimension, the goal is to enhance the motivation and commitment of all employees in their work commitment. In overall, this suggests that the organization will have lost by deploying competing styles for workplace conflict management. Although the conflicts may be resolved, collaboration may also have similar impacts, just like competition, since one party must surrender to the demands of another party. Avoidance is the most inappropriate alternative.

Diversity management, as an approach to the resolution of workplace conflicts, implies that strategies for managing workforce diversity cuts across different causation elements for conflicts in workplaces. Thus, it can help in the elimination of conflicts that are associated with different levels of expertise, thus leading to a low performance by some employees that will necessitate the incorporation of performance pay-based systems while addressing the issues of personality differences, which may create personality clashes.

It also rhymes well with the concerns of mediation, reconciliation, and arbitration since conflicts that require these mechanisms of conflict resolution are akin to differences among individuals. Diversity management is the most preferred approach in the management of workplace conflicts in globalized organizations.

There are different approaches to solving conflicts. The article recommends a proactive passive approach as opposed to a reactive approach. The recommended proactive passive approach emphasizes handling the causation of conflicts in workplaces effectively. Mediation, arbitration, and reconciliation are reactive since they are deployed after a conflict has already occurred and caused damage to an organization.

Avoiding, competing, collaborating, compromising, and accommodating are equally reactive approaches. The adoption of performance-based pay systems is a recommendable approach to the management of conflicts that are associated with poor performance among some employees. However, they can create more problems and conflicts in the end. Thus, the approach is unsuitable.

The best approach for managing workplace conflicts entails understanding the benefits of adopting a multicultural environment tolerant of diverse workforce. By accomplishing this strategy, organizations would gain immensely in the form of increased productivity of the diverse workforce, hence boosting the profitability of the organization in question.

Incorporating this recommendation requires all management staff members, from top to bottom, to understand workforce diversity’s relevance from moral and business perspectives. Another way of incorporating the recommendation is by altering organizational values to orient people to commit themselves to promoting workforce diversity within the work environment.

A third way of incorporating the recommendation involves the creation of awareness and/or skills that focus on diversity training. This strategy needs to be implemented by managers of organizations in the quest to ensure that workforce socialization is directly congruent with the adopted new values.

In turn, it can increase understanding among people from diverse cultural backgrounds and increase group cohesion. It can also foster the improvement of self-knowledge. When employees embrace the diversity and diversity needs of all their work team members, they can carefully examine their objectives. Through this path, they can understand what is most important to them, thus improving their focus and enhancing their efficiency. This strategy is an essential catalyst for job satisfaction.

Conflict is inevitable in the workplace. It is a reality in every work environment by bringing people from diverse backgrounds together. While people continue to work in teams while caring about the manner their work team members treat them, disagreements will always arise to create conflicts in the workplaces.

Conflicts refer to the various issues emerging in the workplace that create emotions such as anger, discontent, and frustration. Such emotions produce either positive impacts or negative impacts on an organization. For instance, positive impacts may encompass the provision of an opportunity for organizational growth. Negative impacts involve issues such as reduced employee motivation, turnover, low job satisfaction, and reduced employee productivity.

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Bagshaw, M. (2004). IRS Managing Conflict in the Workplace . London: Lexis Nexis.

Cloke, K., & Goldsmith, J. (2005). Resolving Conflicts at Work: Eight Strategies for Everyone on the Job (Rev. ed.) . San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.

Collins, D., & Rourke, S. (2005). Managing Conflict and Workplace Relationships . Ohio: Mason.

Gramberg, B. (2005). Managing Workplace Conflict: Alternative Dispute Resolution in Australia . Annandale, N.S. W.: Federation Press.

Institute of Leadership and Management. (2007). Managing conflict in the Workplace . Oxford, Boston: Pergamon Flexible Learning.

Johnson, C., & Keddy, J. (2010). Managing Conflict at Work: Understanding and Resolving Conflict for Productive Working Relationships . London: Kogan Page.

Lee, E. (2008). Communication Network Approaches to Conflict Management at the Workplace and Job Satisfaction . London: Lexis Nexis.

Masters, F., & Albright, R. (2002). The Complete Guide to Conflict Resolution in the Workplace . New York< NY: Amacom.

McClure, L. (2004). Anger and Conflict in the Workplace: Spot the Signs, Avoid the Trauma . San Francisco, SA: Jossey-Bass.

Myatt, M. (2012). 5 Keys of Dealing with Workplace Conflict. Retrieved from < https://www.forbes.com/ >.

Wisinski, J. (2003). Resolving Conflicts on the Job . New York< NY: Amacom.

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July 2003  

Culture is an essential part of conflict and conflict resolution. Cultures are like underground rivers that run through our lives and relationships, giving us messages that shape our perceptions, attributions, judgments, and ideas of self and other. Though cultures are powerful, they are often unconscious, influencing conflict and attempts to resolve conflict in imperceptible ways.

Cultures are more than language, dress, and food customs. Cultural groups may share race, ethnicity, or nationality, but they also arise from cleavages of generation, socioeconomic class, sexual orientation, ability and disability, political and religious affiliation, language, and gender -- to name only a few.

Two things are essential to remember about cultures: they are always changing, and they relate to the symbolic dimension of life. The symbolic dimension is the place where we are constantly making meaning and enacting our identities. Cultural messages from the groups we belong to give us information about what is meaningful or important, and who we are in the world and in relation to others -- our identities.

Cultural messages, simply, are what everyone in a group knows that outsiders do not know. They are the water fish swim in, unaware of its effect on their vision. They are a series of lenses that shape what we see and don't see, how we perceive and interpret, and where we draw boundaries. In shaping our values, cultures contain starting points and currencies[1]. Starting points are those places it is natural to begin, whether with individual or group concerns, with the big picture or particularities. Currencies are those things we care about that influence and shape our interactions with others.

How Cultures Work

Though largely below the surface, cultures are a shifting, dynamic set of starting points that orient us in particular ways and away from other directions. Each of us belongs to multiple cultures that give us messages about what is normal, appropriate, and expected. When others do not meet our expectations, it is often a cue that our cultural expectations are different. We may mistake differences between others and us for evidence of bad faith or lack of common sense on the part of others, not realizing that common sense is also cultural. What is common to one group may seem strange, counterintuitive, or wrong to another.

Cultural messages shape our understandings of relationships, and of how to deal with the conflict and harmony that are always present whenever two or more people come together. Writing about or working across cultures is complicated, but not impossible. Here are some complications in working with cultural dimensions of conflict, and the implications that flow from them:

Culture is multi-layered -- what you see on the surface may mask differences below the surface.

Therefore, cultural generalizations are not the whole story, and there is no substitute for building relationships and sharing experiences, coming to know others more deeply over time.

Culture is constantly in flux -- as conditions change, cultural groups adapt in dynamic and sometimes unpredictable ways.

Therefore, no comprehensive description can ever be formulated about a particular group. Any attempt to understand a group must take the dimensions of time, context, and individual differences into account.

Culture is elastic -- knowing the cultural norms of a given group does not predict the behavior of a member of that group, who may not conform to norms for individual or contextual reasons.

Therefore, taxonomies (e.g. "Italians think this way," or "Buddhists prefer that") have limited use, and can lead to error if not checked with experience.

Culture is largely below the surface, influencing identities and meaning-making, or who we believe ourselves to be and what we care about -- it is not easy to access these symbolic levels since they are largely outside our awareness.

Therefore, it is important to use many ways of learning about the cultural dimensions of those involved in a conflict, especially indirect ways, including stories, metaphors, and rituals.

Cultural influences and identities become important depending on context. When an aspect of cultural identity is threatened or misunderstood, it may become relatively more important than other cultural identities and this fixed, narrow identity may become the focus of stereotyping , negative projection, and conflict. This is a very common situation in intractable conflicts.

Therefore, it is useful for people in conflict to have interactive experiences that help them see each other as broadly as possible, experiences that foster the recognition of shared identities as well as those that are different.

Since culture is so closely related to our identities (who we think we are), and the ways we make meaning (what is important to us and how), it is always a factor in conflict. Cultural awareness leads us to apply the Platinum Rule in place of the Golden Rule. Rather than the maxim "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," the Platinum Rule advises: "Do unto others as they would have you do unto them."

Culture and Conflict: Connections

Cultures are embedded in every conflict because conflicts arise in human relationships. Cultures affect the ways we name, frame, blame, and attempt to tame conflicts. Whether a conflict exists at all is a cultural question. In an interview conducted in Canada, an elderly Chinese man indicated he had experienced no conflict at all for the previous 40 years.[2] Among the possible reasons for his denial was a cultural preference to see the world through lenses of harmony rather than conflict, as encouraged by his Confucian upbringing. Labeling some of our interactions as conflicts and analyzing them into smaller component parts is a distinctly Western approach that may obscure other aspects of relationships.

Culture is always a factor in conflict, whether it plays a central role or influences it subtly and gently. For any conflict that touches us where it matters, where we make meaning and hold our identities, there is always a cultural component. Intractable conflicts like the Israeli-Palestinian conflict or the India-Pakistan conflict over Kashmir are not just about territorial, boundary, and sovereignty issues -- they are also about acknowledgement, representation, and legitimization of different identities and ways of living, being, and making meaning.

Conflicts between teenagers and parents are shaped by generational culture, and conflicts between spouses or partners are influenced by gender culture. In organizations, conflicts arising from different disciplinary cultures escalate tensions between co-workers, creating strained or inaccurate communication and stressed relationships. Culture permeates conflict no matter what -- sometimes pushing forth with intensity, other times quietly snaking along, hardly announcing its presence until surprised people nearly stumble on it.

Culture is inextricable from conflict, though it does not cause it. When differences surface in families, organizations, or communities, culture is always present, shaping perceptions, attitudes, behaviors, and outcomes.

When the cultural groups we belong to are a large majority in our community or nation, we are less likely to be aware of the content of the messages they send us. Cultures shared by dominant groups often seem to be "natural," "normal" -- "the way things are done." We only notice the effect of cultures that are different from our own, attending to behaviors that we label exotic or strange.

Though culture is intertwined with conflict, some approaches to conflict resolution minimize cultural issues and influences. Since culture is like an iceberg -- largely submerged -- it is important to include it in our analyses and interventions. Icebergs unacknowledged can be dangerous, and it is impossible to make choices about them if we don't know their size or place. Acknowledging culture and bringing cultural fluency to conflicts can help all kinds of people make more intentional, adaptive choices.

Culture and Conflict: How to Respond

Given culture's important role in conflicts, what should be done to keep it in mind and include it in response plans? Cultures may act like temperamental children: complicated, elusive, and difficult to predict. Unless we develop comfort with culture as an integral part of conflict, we may find ourselves tangled in its net of complexity, limited by our own cultural lenses. Cultural fluency is a key tool for disentangling and managing multilayered, cultural conflicts.

Cultural fluency means familiarity with cultures: their natures, how they work, and ways they intertwine with our relationships in times of conflict and harmony. Cultural fluency means awareness of several dimensions of culture, including

• Communication,
• Ways of naming, framing, and taming conflict,
• Approaches to meaning making,
• Identities and roles.

Each of these is described in more detail below.

Communication refers to different starting points about how to relate to and with others. There are many variations on these starting points, and they are outlined in detail in the topic Communication, Culture, and Conflict . Some of the major variations relate to the division between high- and low-context communications, a classification devised by Edward T. Hall.[3]

In high-context communication, most of a message is conveyed by the context surrounding it, rather than being named explicitly in words. The physical setting, the way things are said, and shared understandings are relied upon to give communication meaning. Interactions feature formalized and stylized rituals, telegraphing ideas without spelling them out. Nonverbal cues and signals are essential to comprehension of the message. The context is trusted to communicate in the absence of verbal expressions, or sometimes in addition to them. High-context communication may help save face because it is less direct than low-context communication, but it may increase the possibilities of miscommunication because much of the intended message is unstated.

Low-context communication emphasizes directness rather than relying on the context to communicate. From this starting point, verbal communication is specific and literal, and less is conveyed in implied, indirect signals. Low-context communicators tend to "say what they mean and mean what they say." Low-context communication may help prevent misunderstandings , but it can also escalate conflict because it is more confrontational than high-context communication.

As people communicate, they move along a continuum between high- and low-context. Depending on the kind of relationship, the context, and the purpose of communication, they may be more or less explicit and direct. In close relationships, communication shorthand is often used, which makes communication opaque to outsiders but perfectly clear to the parties. With strangers, the same people may choose low-context communication.

Low- and high-context communication refers not only to individual communication strategies, but may be used to understand cultural groups. Generally, Western cultures tend to gravitate toward low-context starting points, while Eastern and Southern cultures tend to high-context communication. Within these huge categories, there are important differences and many variations. Where high-context communication tends to be featured, it is useful to pay specific attention to nonverbal cues and the behavior of others who may know more of the unstated rules governing the communication. Where low-context communication is the norm, directness is likely to be expected in return.

There are many other ways that communication varies across cultures. High- and low-context communication and several other dimensions are explored in Communication, Culture, and Conflict .

Ways of naming, framing, and taming conflict vary across cultural boundaries. As the example of the elderly Chinese interviewee illustrates, not everyone agrees on what constitutes a conflict. For those accustomed to subdued, calm discussion, an emotional exchange among family members may seem a threatening conflict. The family members themselves may look at their exchange as a normal and desirable airing of differing views. Intractable conflicts are also subject to different interpretations. Is an event a skirmish, a provocation, an escalation, or a mere trifle, hardly worth noticing? The answer depends on perspective, context, and how identity relates to the situation.

Just as there is no consensus across cultures or situations on what constitutes a conflict or how events in the interaction should be framed, so there are many different ways of thinking about how to tame it. Should those involved meet face to face, sharing their perspectives and stories with or without the help of an outside mediator? Or should a trusted friend talk with each of those involved and try to help smooth the waters? Should a third party be known to the parties or a stranger to those involved?

John Paul Lederach, in his book Preparing for Peace: Conflict Transformation Across Cultures, identifies two third-party roles that exist in U.S. and Somali settings, respectively -- the formal mediator and the traditional elder.[4] The formal mediator is generally not known to those involved, and he or she tries to act without favoritism or investment in any particular outcome. Traditional elders are revered for their local knowledge and relationships, and are relied upon for direction and advice, as well as for their skills in helping parties communicate with each other. The roles of insider partial (someone known to the parties who is familiar with the history of the situation and the webs of relationships) and outsider neutral (someone unknown to the parties who has no stake in the outcome or continuing relationship with the parties) appear in a range of cultural contexts. Generally, insider partials tend to be preferred in traditional, high-context settings, while outside neutrals are more common in low-context settings.

These are just some of the ways that taming conflict varies across cultures. Third parties may use different strategies with quite different goals, depending on their cultural sense of what is needed. In multicultural contexts, parties' expectations of how conflict should be addressed may vary, further escalating an existing conflict.

Approaches to meaning-making also vary across cultures. Hampden-Turner and Trompenaars suggest that people have a range of starting points for making sense of their lives, including:

• universalist (favoring rules, laws, and generalizations) and particularist (favoring exceptions, relations, and contextual evaluation)
• specificity (preferring explicit definitions, breaking down wholes into component parts, and measurable results) and diffuseness (focusing on patterns, the big picture, and process over outcome)
• inner direction (sees virtue in individuals who strive to realize their conscious purpose) and outer direction (where virtue is outside each of us in natural rhythms, nature, beauty, and relationships)
• synchronous time (cyclical and spiraling) and sequential time (linear and unidirectional).[5]

When we don't understand that others may have quite different starting points, conflict is more likely to occur and to escalate. Even though the starting points themselves are neutral, negative motives are easily attributed to someone who begins from a different end of the continuum.[6]

For example, when First Nations people sit down with government representatives to negotiate land claims in Canada or Australia, different ideas of time may make it difficult to establish rapport and make progress. First Nations people tend to see time as stretching forward and back, binding them in relationship with seven generations in both directions. Their actions and choices in the present are thus relevant to history and to their progeny. Government negotiators acculturated to Western European ideas of time may find the telling of historical tales and the consideration of projections generations into the future tedious and irrelevant unless they understand the variations in the way time is understood by First Nations people.

Of course, this example draws on generalizations that may or may not apply in a particular situation. There are many different Aboriginal peoples in Canada, Australia, New Zealand, the United States, and elsewhere. Each has a distinct culture, and these cultures have different relationships to time, different ideas about negotiation, and unique identities. Government negotiators may also have a range of ethno cultural identities, and may not fit the stereotype of the woman or man in a hurry, with a measured, pressured orientation toward time.

Examples can also be drawn from the other three dimensions identified by Hampden-Turner and Trompenaars. When an intractable conflict has been ongoing for years or even generations, should there be recourse to international standards and interveners, or local rules and practices? Those favoring a universalist starting point are more likely to prefer international intervention and the setting of international standards. Particularlists will be more comfortable with a tailor-made, home-grown approach than with the imposition of general rules that may or may not fit their needs and context.

Specificity and diffuseness also lead to conflict and conflict escalation in many instances. People, who speak in specifics, looking for practical solutions to challenges that can be implemented and measured, may find those who focus on process, feelings, and the big picture obstructionist and frustrating. On the other hand, those whose starting points are diffuse are more apt to catch the flaw in the sum that is not easy to detect by looking at the component parts, and to see the context into which specific ideas must fit.

Inner-directed people tend to feel confident that they can affect change, believing that they are "the masters of their fate, the captains of their souls."[7] They focus more on product than process. Imagine their frustration when faced with outer-directed people, whose attention goes to nurturing relationships, living in harmony with nature, going with the flow, and paying attention to processes rather than products. As with each of the above sets of starting points, neither is right or wrong; they are simply different. A focus on process is helpful, but not if it completely fails to ignore outcomes. A focus on outcomes is useful, but it is also important to monitor the tone and direction of the process. Cultural fluency means being aware of different sets of starting points, and having a way to speak in both dialects, helping translate between them when they are making conflict worse.

These continua are not absolute, nor do they explain human relations broadly. They are clues to what might be happening when people are in conflict over long periods of time. We are meaning-making creatures, telling stories and creating understandings that preserve our sense of self and relate to our purpose. As we come to realize this, we can look into the process of meaning making for those in a conflict and find ways to help them make their meaning-making processes and conclusions more apparent to each other.

This can be done by storytelling and by the creation of shared stories, stories that are co-constructed to make room for multiple points of view within them. Often, people in conflict tell stories that sound as though both cannot be true. Narrative conflict-resolution approaches help them leave their concern with truth and being right on the sideline for a time, turning their attention instead to stories in which they can both see themselves.

Another way to explore meaning making is through metaphors. Metaphors are compact, tightly packaged word pictures that convey a great deal of information in shorthand form. For example, in exploring how a conflict began, one side may talk about its origins being buried in the mists of time before there were boundaries and roads and written laws. The other may see it as the offspring of a vexatious lawsuit begun in 1946. Neither is wrong -- the issue may well have deep roots, and the lawsuit was surely a part of the evolution of the conflict. As the two sides talk about their metaphors, the more diffuse starting point wrapped up in the mists of time meets the more specific one, attached to a particular legal action. As the two talk, they deepen their understanding of each other in context, and learn more about their respective roles and identities.

Identities and roles refer to conceptions of the self. Am I an individual unit, autonomous, a free agent, ultimately responsible for myself? Or am I first and foremost a member of a group, weighing choices and actions by how the group will perceive them and be affected by them? Those who see themselves as separate individuals likely come from societies anthropologists call individualist. Those for whom group allegiance is primary usually come from settings anthropologists call collectivist, or communitarian.

In collectivist settings, the following values tend to be privileged:

• cooperation
• filial piety (respect for and deference toward elders)
• participation in shared progress
• reputation of the group
• interdependence

In individualist settings, the following values tend to be privileged:

• competition
• independence
• individual achievement
• personal growth and fulfillment
• self-reliance

When individualist and communitarian starting points influence those on either side of a conflict, escalation may result. Individualists may see no problem with "no holds barred" confrontation, while communitarian counterparts shrink from bringing dishonor or face-loss to their group by behaving in unseemly ways. Individualists may expect to make agreements with communitarians, and may feel betrayed when the latter indicate that they have to take their understandings back to a larger public or group before they can come to closure. In the end, one should remember that, as with other patterns described, most people are not purely individualist or communitarian. Rather, people tend to have individualist or communitarian starting points, depending on one's upbringing, experience, and the context of the situation.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to conflict resolution, since culture is always a factor. Cultural fluency is therefore a core competency for those who intervene in conflicts or simply want to function more effectively in their own lives and situations. Cultural fluency involves recognizing and acting respectfully from the knowledge that communication, ways of naming, framing, and taming conflict, approaches to meaning-making, and identities and roles vary across cultures.

[1] See also the essays on Cultural and Worldview Frames and Communication Tools for Understanding Cultural Differences .

[2] LeBaron, Michelle and Bruce Grundison. 1993. Conflict and Culture: Research in Five Communities in British Columbia, Canada . Victoria, British Columbia: University of Victoria Institute for Dispute Resolution.

[3] Hall, Edward T. 1976. Beyond Culture . Garden City, NY: Doubleday.

[4] Lederach, John Paul. 1995. Preparing for Peace. Conflict Transformation Across Cultures . Syracuse, NY: Syracuse University Press, pp. 94.

[5] Hampden-Turner, Charles and Fons Trompenaars. 2000. Building Cross Cultural Competence. How to Create Wealth from Conflicting Values. New Haven and London: Yale University Press.

[6] There is also the set of essays on framing which is closely related to the idea of meaning making.

[7] Ibid., 244.

Use the following to cite this article: LeBaron, Michelle. "Culture and Conflict." Beyond Intractability . Eds. Guy Burgess and Heidi Burgess. Conflict Information Consortium, University of Colorado, Boulder. Posted: July 2003 < http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/culture-conflict >.

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Workplace Conflict, Essay Example

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Conflict is inevitable in the workplace.  Just like conflict is unavoidable in any other type of relationships, relationships within work environments are ripe for difficulties between people.  In an organizational setting, conflict is even more common than in personal situations however, due to there generally being no choice regarding who works together.  Employees rarely have any say in who is hired for parallel positions and even the management who does the hiring bases hiring decisions on skills and meeting certain hiring criteria rather than on friendship potential.  This means that while fellow employees may (or may not) be skilled at their jobs, they may have characteristics that do not match well with the characteristics or personality of other employees.  Conflict in work setting can occur between same level employees, employees and management, and employees, management and external stakeholders (De Dreu, C. K. W. and Gelfand, M.  J. 2008).

An example of a common workplace conflict is one having to do with leadership styles or differences in personality between management and employees. This might involve a variety of interpersonal problems stemming from lack of awareness and appreciation of diversity in the workplace. For example, employees may feel bullied by managers with authoritative personalities or need more direct communication and guidance from mangers who assume that minimal instruction should be enough for the employee to work from. Managers with Type A personalities may hold employees up to their own demanding standards while employees may feel overworked or as if the expectations set by their manager are too ambitious.  Some employers may be extremely extroverted and make more introverted employees feel as if there is something wrong with the way they interact with others (Ayoko, Callan, &Hartel, 2003).

Often conflict arises from managers gravitating toward employees who have the same personality and work style as they do, giving these employees the majority of attention, positive reinforcement, better evaluations and raises despite the fact that another employee may actually be doing the majority of the work and achieving far more than the favored employee. This can result in conflict between the two employees and between the manager and the less favored employee, especially if the favored employee shares information about the conflict with the manager.

Favoritism in the workplace can be the result of several factors. The first involves hiring. Managers have been shown to favor employees they personally hire over employees they had no involvement with during the hiring process.  This may be because managers feel that a personal hire reflects upon them and their decision making ability such that they want the employees they hire to perform at a level above other employees.

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Home > Books > Interpersonal Relationships

School Conflicts: Causes and Management Strategies in Classroom Relationships

Submitted: 03 September 2020 Reviewed: 07 December 2020 Published: 23 December 2020

DOI: 10.5772/intechopen.95395

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Conflicts cannot cease to exist, as they are intrinsic to human beings, forming an integral part of their moral and emotional growth. Likewise, they exist in all schools. The school is inserted in a space where the conflict manifests itself daily and assumes relevance, being the result of the multiple interpersonal relationships that occur in the school context. Thus, conflict is part of school life, which implies that teachers must have the skills to manage conflict constructively. Recognizing the diversity of school conflicts, this chapter aimed to present its causes, highlighting the main ones in the classroom, in the teacher-student relationship. It is important to conflict face and resolve it with skills to manage it properly and constructively, establishing cooperative relationships, and producing integrative solutions. Harmony and appreciation should coexist in a classroom environment and conflict should not interfere, negatively, in the teaching and learning process. This bibliography review underscore the need for during the teachers’ initial training the conflict management skills development.

• school conflicts
• classroom conflicts
• school conflict management
• teacher-student relationship

Author Information

Sabina valente *.

• Center for Research in Education and Psychology, University of Évora, Portugal

Abílio Afonso Lourenço

• University of Minho, Portugal

Zsolt Németh

• Faculty of Sciences, Institute of Sport Science and Physical Education, Department of Theory and Practice of Sports, University of Pécs, Hungary

*Address all correspondence to: [email protected]

1. Introduction

One of the most striking characteristics of human beings is the diversities. Different ways of being, thinking and existing, different needs, world views, ethical positions mark the relationships between people. In this sense, interpersonal conflicts are understood as tension that involves different interests or positions, are inherent to human relationships, and are present in various social organizations, among them, the school.

The school as microcosms of society brings together different views of the world, different ways of being, thinking, and living, thus becoming a space for representing social differences and being a place where different conflicts occur daily. Dealing with this situation type requires learning and that is why teachers need training in conflict management so that they can correctly manage the classroom conflicts and educate also your students for conflict management.

Recognizing that the school is an organization that brings together social diversity and adopting as an assumption that interpersonal conflicts are inherent to human relationships, we define the school conflicts as this chapter theme. In this sense, this chapter addresses school conflicts with a focus on classroom conflicts in the teacher-student relationship. In the first part, a brief reference is made to the conflict. This is followed by a review of the bibliography on school/classroom conflict causes.

Due to its intrinsic characteristics, school is a favorable medium for conflict situations development. So, the conflict in the education system can be seen from the dialectic between the macrostructure of the education system, the general policies oriented towards it, and the management processes that prevail in each school [ 1 ].

The conflict presents formative possibilities, since the perception of the differences existing between people/or groups and their needs, values, ideas, and different ways of living are essential to a democratic society [ 2 ]. In this sense, it is important to enhance positive conflict characteristics and reduce the negative ones. So, the difficulty in resolving conflicts is largely due to the difficulties existing between those involved in the conflict to be able to communicate effectively. Therefore, the constructive and educational potential of conflicts depends largely on the skills of those involved. Thus, knowing how to communicate, and respecting the rights of others and existing differences are essential for conflicts to revert to social and human development benefits.

The concern with improving coexistence in schools, centred on the conflict variable, is addressed in different studies, whose objectives mark both understanding the school conflict [ 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 ], as well as preventing its occurrence [ 7 ]. Since it is impossible to eliminate school conflicts, it is essential and urgent to reduce their intensity, duration, and severity, so that the teaching and learning process is not harmed. In this sense, this chapter addresses also the strategies used to manage classroom conflict, and some examples of programs that work these skills on teachers and students.

2. Conflict

The conflict is defined and classified from different perspectives, and its definition can differ, in context, process, intervention, and study areas [ 1 , 8 ]. Conflict is a phenomenon of incompatibility between individuals or groups with irreconcilable ends and/or values ​​between them, considering it a social process [ 1 ]. For this author, four elements are present and must be addressed in all conflicts: the causes that give rise to it; the conflict protagonists; the process and the way the protagonists face the conflict; and the context in which it occurs. In turn, Chrispino [ 9 ] understands conflict as to any divergent opinion or a different way of seeing or interpreting an event, that is, the conflict originates in the difference of interests, desires, aspirations, or positions between individuals. He adds that conflicts can arise from difficulties in communication and assertiveness.

In this way, we can say that there is a conflict when two or more people interact with each other and perceive incompatible differences, or threats to their resources, needs, or values and when they respond according to what was perceived, then the ideal conditions for conflict are created. The conflict intensity, duration, or severity can then increase or decrease depending on the strategies used to resolve it. Regardless of the different conflict definitions, there is no conflict if the individuals involved are not aware of its existence. This conclusion is consensual to the majority of the definition proposals and to the attempts to conceptualize the conflict found in the specialized literature.

In addition to different conflict definitions, there are also different proposals for classifying it. Concerning the different conflict classification [ 8 , 10 , 11 ] the emphasis is placed on the theoretical proposals of [ 8 , 11 ]. Conflicts can be classified into five different types: structural, value, relationship, interest, and data [ 11 ]. In structural conflicts, causes are associated with unequal control situations, possession or resource distribution, unequal power, and authority, geographical, physical, or environmental factors that prevent cooperation and time pressures. In value conflicts, it highlights situations of opposing ideas or behaviors, different ways of life, ideology, or religion. Relationship conflicts are caused by strong emotions, misperceptions or stereotypes, inadequate or deficient communication, and negative and/or repetitive behaviors. The causes of interest conflicts are perceived or real competition over fundamental interests (content), procedural interests, and psychological interests. Finally, about data conflicts, [ 11 ] highlights the lack of information or wrong information, different points of view on what is important, different data interpretations, and different assessment procedures.

In turn, Torrego [ 8 ] presents a typology that seems to reflect the type of school conflicts: relationship-communication conflicts; interest/needs conflicts; and preferences, values, and beliefs conflicts. As for the relationship-communication conflicts, it cannot be said that there is a concrete cause that justifies their appearance, however, it appears as a result of the relationship deterioration itself. As such, aggressions, struggles, offenses, defamations, rumors, humiliations, misunderstandings are part of this type of conflict, but also perception conflicts, because, despite the conflict reality being only one, this fact does not invalidate that those involved have their view of it. Interest or needs conflicts usually occur when one party considers that it will only be able to satisfy its needs/interests if the other gives in to theirs. This conflict type can include those that stem from disagreement about how to perform jobs or tasks and those that result from the need felt by one of the parties to own or be coerced into giving in: objects, time, space, or any type of appeal. Finally, preferences, values, and beliefs conflicts result when these systems are discordant or viewed as such by those involved in the conflict. However, this conflict type can be resolved if the parties identify higher values ​​common to both.

It is important to say that the conflict constructive paradigm indicates that the conflict has positive and negative aspects, advantages, and disadvantages. This new model is opposed to the classic model and indicates that moderate levels of conflict are perceived as positive [ 12 ]. The conflict effects are positive, when they are well managed, to establish more cooperative relations and seek to reach an integrated solution, for the benefit of those involved in the conflict [ 10 ]. In any organization, the existence of low levels of conflict leaves the organization vulnerable to stagnation, to making impoverished decisions, even to the lack of effectiveness; on the other hand, having too much conflict leads the organization directly into chaos.

Given the above, we can say that conflicts are inherent to human relationships since human beings are characterized by diversity. The school, by bringing together people from different social groups with different values and worldviews, becomes a locus for conflicts.

3. School conflicts

The school is a society microsystem, in which are reflected constant changes. Thus, one of the most important school functions is to prepare students, teachers, and parents to live and overcome the difficulties of a world full of rapid changes and interpersonal conflicts, contributing to the development process of each individual. For being a society microsystem and bringing together different ways of life, thinking, feeling, relationship, constitutes a space conducive to interpersonal conflicts.

School conflict is defined as the disagreement between individuals or groups regarding ideas, interests, principles, and values within the school community, perceiving the parties their interests as excluded, although they may not be [ 13 ], being that the most frequent school conflicts occur in the relations between student–student and between student-teacher [ 14 ].

Conflicts in the school can be classified according to their causes and those involved. For Martinez [ 15 ], the conflicts between teachers are mainly caused by lack of communication, personal interests, previous conflicts, issues of power, or political and ideological differences. This author indicates that conflicts between students and teachers, as they happen due to the lack of understanding of the teacher’s explanation, due to arbitrary grades and divergence in the evaluation criteria, lack of didactic material, discrimination, disinterest in the study material, and because the students are ears. In turn, conflicts between students can arise due to misunderstandings, fights, the rivalry between groups, discrimination, bullying, use of spaces and assets, dating, sexual harassment, loss or damage of school assets, diverse elections, travel, and parties. Conflicts between parents, teachers, and administrators can arise due to aggressions that occurred between students and between teachers, due to the loss of work material, problems in the school canteen or similar, lack of teachers, lack of pedagogical assistance by teachers, evaluation, approval and disapproval criteria, failure to meet bureaucratic and administrative requirements of management [ 15 ].

From the literature review, it is possible to infer and highlight the different causes pointed to the school conflict. Participating teachers in the Göksoy and Argon [ 16 ] study indicate as causes for school conflict: the communication failures, personal, political/ideological, and organizational causes.

With a very similar rating, Jares [ 1 ] indicates four main causes: ideological-scientific, related to different pedagogical, ideological, and organizational options, and the type of school culture or cultures that coexist; power causes, related to organization control, professional promotion, access to resources and decision making; causes of structure, related to the ambiguity of objectives and functions, organizational fragility, organizational and variable contexts; and personal and interpersonal causes, related to self-esteem, security, professional dissatisfaction, and communication. Also, Burguet [ 17 ] points out as possible causes for the school conflict in the school’s organizational structure.

In this sequence, and given the increase in school conflicts, Ibarra [ 18 ] recognizes as school conflict causes: the increase in compulsory schooling, the increase in the number of students per class, teachers perceive a progressive decline in their authority about students, and students are less likely to comply with certain rules and limits, which results in conflict situations. Regarding the increase in compulsory education, this leads to a greater number of unmotivated and undisciplined students, which implies an increase in school conflict. Likewise, the increase in the number of students per class, without increasing the facilities or associated conditions, increases the conflict occurrence, because of their negative changes in the physical and psychological environment, in overcrowded classrooms, with a lack of space for practical and collaborative activities.

In addressing interpersonal relationships in schools cannot neglect family background. When dealing with interpersonal relationships in the school context, it is necessary to take into account the family reality of each student, since the family interpersonal relationships have a strong connection with the school conflict [ 19 ]. Distinguished authors indicate that school conflict situations often have their genesis at the family level [ 17 , 20 ] since they are the most deprived families, where alcoholism, domestic violence, and unemployment problems occur, being that all these violence and incivilities manifestations that arise in the students’ lives are transported to school. Burguet [ 17 ] points the dismissal of families as educational agents. This author highlights the overprotection with a sense of guilt for not dedicating more time to children, the experience of fatherhood as a “burden” of those who educate in aggressiveness, and the criticisms of parents, and society itself, to teachers, instigates conflicts. In other words, the role of the family often does not seem to offer a good foundation in the education of young people, which is reflected in their behavior in the processes of interaction at school. As Berkowitz [ 20 ] indicates, many of the interaction problems originate in the family, and the student reproduces the behaviors he learns with his parents.

It should be noted that the context experienced by the Covid-19 pandemic has a greater impact on students from poorer families. The situation of these most vulnerable students was a problem whose dimension grew with online classes, as they encountered immense barriers and lack of support for quality education during confinement. Thus, students who before the pandemic were unmotivated and presented conflicting behaviors at school should be the target of more support during this pandemic phase, to minimize the conflicting behaviors. It should also be noted that although family-school relationships are extremely important for students’ learning and development, family participation in school is not always satisfactory.

So, the family and the school must go together to contribute to the conflict becoming part of a process of growth, acceptance of the other, and accountability. Learning to deal with school conflicts positively is essential for the development of healthy relationships.

Another cause of school conflicts is pointed to society and the values it conveys, Burguet [ 17 ] points to the example of social communication, which encourages violence through violent programs, broadcasting news with prejudiced and conflicting messages. All of these situations enhance the conflicting attitudes of children and young people, which are reflected in school behaviors.

3.1 Conflict in the classroom

The school builds a social interface favorable to involvement, where conflicts proliferate in the educational process complexity, being common and daily in classes. Thus, in the classroom different types of conflict occur, being a challenge for most teachers to know how to face, manage, and resolve these conflicts [ 7 ].

Teachers often perceive conflicts as indiscipline, violence, disrespect, and like all situations threatening his authority, and inexperienced and experienced teachers emphasize the teacher-student conflict as a frequent situation in difficult classes [ 21 ]. In this context, Silva and Flores [ 19 ] refer to the negative effect that these situations have on attainment and student motivation, so it is urgent to find solutions to avoid or mitigate such effects.

The classroom coexistence problems are mainly related to social and pedagogical changes [ 22 ]. In this sequence, there are several conflict situations that teachers can face during classes. Some of those indicated by the teachers are, namely: the student’s presence that did not focus on activities; students with serious learning and communication difficulties; students groups who do classroom not work and maintain an aggressive and provocative attitude; students with destructive attitudes towards school material, theirs and/or colleagues, as well as aggressive and violent attitudes towards colleagues and teachers; apathetic students, who do not show classes enthusiasm; and in extreme situations, students who take and display instruments in the class that can be used as weapons, in an attitude of defiance to the teacher [ 23 ].

Given the increase in the classroom conflicts, multiple causes, which include a combination of external and internal factors in the school environment, are indicated, such as the increase in compulsory education, the increase in students per class, the progressive decline in the teacher’s authority about students, and students are less likely to comply with rules and limits, which results in conflict [ 18 ]. The increase in the year of schooling also leads to greater difficulties in living and learning in the classroom, and older age student’s groups consider themselves inserted in an educational system that sometimes does not respond to their needs and some of them consider not be essential to your life. So, the increase in compulsory education leads to a greater number of dissatisfied, unmotivated, and undisciplined students. Likewise, the increase in students per class, without increasing the facilities or associated conditions, negatively affects the psychological environment in overcrowded classrooms, with a lack of space for practical and collaborative activities. In turn, the progressive decline in teacher authority in relation to students and students are less likely to comply with certain rules and limits, results in conflicts in the classroom.

Conflicts in the teacher-student relationship are recurrent in the classroom, and [ 17 ] indicates as causes generating conflict, not only concerning the expectations of the teacher-student but also the student towards the teacher. In this sequence, the authors highlight the following problems that cause conflict: discipline problems, adaptation to individual differences problems, and evaluation problems.

As for discipline problems, these are the result of provocation and contempt of the student towards the teacher, or the teacher towards the student, to exercise their authority. In turn, problems of adaptation to individual differences are related to heterogeneous behaviors and diminished personal relationships. As for the problems related to the evaluation, result mainly from the personal rhythms of each student and teacher.

Students’ undisciplined classroom behavior can lead to conflicts that divert the teacher’s attention to issues that blur him from his teaching function [ 19 ]. In this context, Pérez-de-Guzmán et al. [ 7 ] indicate disinterest, mainly academic, as the main source of classroom conflict, also mentioning that one of the conflicts that persist and continues to be common is the lack of study habits and the carrying out work, leading to a negative attitude during class. Also, the mandatory stay in the classroom, away from the interests and expectations of some students, is recurrent as a conflict cause.

There are many and diverse classroom conflict situations that disturb the class dynamics. And in situations where the conflict remains latent, the result of the diversity of class interests, if the teacher does not create a good environment, acting positively about communication, the use of legitimate authority, and the conflict management, he will see conflicts increase exponentially within the classes [ 24 ]. Thus, regardless of the classroom conflicts type, if they are not managed, they accumulate, which makes them more cohesive and complicated, triggering negative feelings in those involved, and negatively affecting the educational quality [ 24 ].

The causes of the aforementioned conflicts are linked to personal issues and interpersonal relationships. And, most of these conflicts reveal an undisciplined character and increase daily in the class context. In this way, the teacher in the absence of solid guidelines can develop discontent, insecurity, and dissatisfaction that are reflected in his conflict face performance. Another aspect to be highlighted is that related to the power or lack of it that, increasingly, the teacher presents, and that reveals itself in discontent. In short, there is a gap in society, between the values ​​it promotes and demands the school and the lack of credibility that is given to the teacher, questioned before the disapproval of parents and society itself, which instigates an even greater student’s conflict, in classes.

3.2 Positive and negative impacts of school conflicts

Conflict can inspire innovations and creative strategies in addressing challenging issues, as well as improving work, results, and encouraging organizations to achieve higher levels of quality and achievement. In this context, Göksoy and Argon [ 16 ] argue that school conflicts have positive and negative impacts on psychological, social, and organizational results.

Negative psychological impacts include discomfort, insecurity, insignificance feelings, sadness, resentment, frustration, and stress. In turn, at the social level, results of hostility, intolerance, and violence are present [ 16 ]. As for the negative results within the institutions, the author highlights the existence of a tense environment, weakened cooperation, communication failures, poor performance, and an undisciplined environment. Inevitably, in this way, there is a decrease in education quality.

The conflicts traditional and negative view has implications for the training of students, as the current discourse in many schools is about how to avoid conflicts since their educational potential is sometimes not perceived by the school community. This discourse conceives the conflict by the violent consequences that result from its non-management.

Conflict is recognized as an engine of social development and its effects are positive when the conflict is managed well. Thus, about the positive impacts arising from the school conflict, these have various levels of benefits [ 16 ]. At a personal level, the conflict allows learning to be related to the perception of errors, and to develop new ideas. On the other hand, at the social level, it enables the reinforcement of communication, respect for others, and enhances commitment. Regarding the benefits at the organizational level, it makes it possible to understand problems, seek and develop new solutions, and develop a democratic and enriching environment in the school. Thus, conflicts can contribute to the construction of broader visions of certain situations and, at the same time, guarantee rights and opportunities for all, regardless of interpersonal differences.

4. Strategies for classroom conflict management

Teachers’ perceptions of conflict indicate that they focus mainly on the conflicts’ negative aspects [ 6 , 25 ]. It is noteworthy that the methods most used at school, face of students conflicting behaviors, include warning, disapproval, summoning guardians, and in some cases, student suspension. Methodologies that provoke negative feelings and, later, originate new undesirable behaviors, being applied without taking into account the needs, personal conflicts, problems, and students expectations [ 26 ]. As indicated by Torrecilla et al. [ 22 ] if the teacher is not an effective conflict manager, he will project this lack of skill, resulting in negative learning for students.

As noted earlier, classroom conflict is an unavoidable reality. Thus, being inevitable, adequate strategies are needed to resolve it so that the conflict potential advantages are taken advantage of and its harmful effects are minimized or canceled out. Conflict management strategies are understood as the behavior types that are adopted in the conflict context, that is, they are basic strategies to manage a situation in which the parties consider their interests to be incompatible.

It is important to note that the choice between different conflict management strategies depends on the conflict level and the various situations that must be managed effectively [ 27 ], that is, to manage conflict functionally, it is important to recognize that one strategy may be more appropriate than another, depending on the conflict situation, being considered appropriate if its use leads to the effective formulation or resolution of the conflict [ 27 ]. So, strategies refer to specific patterns of behavior that are adopted in conflict situations. Following this approach, Rahim and Bonoma [ 28 ] established five conflict management strategies using two dimensions “self-concern” and “others concern”. They are different strategies for conflict management and correspond to the attitudes to confront and conflict resolutions.

These five strategies for conflict management are [ 27 ]: (a) Avoiding: when conflicted parties show low levels of concern for others’ interests and a low level of concern for oneself. Strategy characterized by a low degree of assertiveness and a low degree of cooperation, where neither its interests nor those of its opponents are satisfied; (b) Dominating: reflecting the attempt to satisfy one’s interests without consideration of the interests of the other. Characterized by a high assertiveness and lack of cooperation, in which the acquisition of objectives is viewed with supremacy over the interests of the other party. Furthermore, it is often considered an aggressive strategy; (c) Obliging: tends to be adopted by those individuals who attempt to play down the differences and emphasizes commonalities to satisfy the concerns of the other party. Represents a conflict management strategy where the cooperation is high, and assertiveness is low; (d) Integrating: individuals who use this strategy manage conflicts directly and cooperatively, seeking to solve in collaboration with the other, is a strategy connected with problem-solving. The use of this involves openness, exchanging information, looking for alternatives, and examination of differences to reach an effective solution for everyone involved in the conflict. Is a strategy useful for effectively dealing with complex problems; and (e) Compromising: represents the attempt to satisfy, moderately and partially, the interests of all those involved in the conflict, and shares commonalities with all of the other four strategies. Is a strategy that requires compromise and assignment. Compromising is an intermediate strategy on assertiveness and cooperation, which implies a compromise in the search for an acceptable intermediate position for everyone involved in the conflict.

Among the variables that influence the choice of different conflict management strategies, the teachers’ emotional intelligence stands out. Valente and Lourenço [ 24 ] conclude that teachers who tend to have higher levels of emotional intelligence use more integration and commitment strategies, for conflict management in the classroom, and fewer strategies of consent, avoidance, and domination. Too, the findings of Aliasgari and Farzadnia [ 29 ] indicate that teachers prefer the integrating strategy over the other conflict management strategy. So, in the presence of classroom conflict, the teacher proposes alternatives, applies open lines of communication, makes concessions, accepts responsibility, maximizes similarities, and minimizes existing differences between self and student [ 24 ]. Therefore, the integrating strategy is connected with classroom problem-solving, the use of this strategy involves openness and exchanging information, being the ideal strategy in dealing with complex classroom problems [ 24 ]. When applying a commitment strategy, the teacher’s objective is an intermediate solution for conflict management, for this, he knows how to reduce differences with the student suggests an exchange of proposals with the student, and provides a quick solution to conflicts in the classroom [ 24 ]. This is an intermediate strategy on assertiveness and cooperation, which implies a compromise in the search for an acceptable intermediate position for everyone involved in the conflict [ 27 ]. In this way, teachers’ emotional intelligence allows for better conflict management, which supports the development of interpersonal relationships in the classroom and enables a favorable environment for teaching and learning.

So, conflicts involve, in addition to interpersonal skills such as availability for dialog, emotional intelligence skills, which require the perception and recognition of the affective dimension, and the feelings of those involved. In this sense, we can say that the evolution of interpersonal relationships has not kept pace with scientific and technological developments. We were not educated to know how to interpret the language of emotions, just as we did not learn to solve conflict situations. We do not learn to perceive and manage emotions. Thus, the emotions that emerge from conflicts must be the target of attention and discussion, so that teachers and students are aware of their emotions and know how to deal with them.

The concern with improving coexistence in schools, namely about conflict, is mentioned in several studies, whose objectives refer to the understanding of school conflicts, as well as preventing their occurrence through programs aimed at teachers and students [ 4 , 5 ]. Thus, the school community must develop effective skills for conflict management, increasing self-awareness, and understanding of conflict through formal education sessions.

The manage conflict ability is not innate, so it must be learned through educational interventions. There are different programs that work these skills in the educational context, of which they stand: Recognizing, Understanding, Labeling, Expressing, Regulating (RULER), Social and Emotional Learning (SEL), and the Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning (CASEL).

RULER program was created based on the emotional intelligence Mayer-Salovey’s model [ 30 ]. This training program focuses on emotional intelligence development and involving the students, parents, teachers, and the entire educational community [ 31 ]. RULER focuses on learning skills that deal with issues of interpersonal conflict and teach strategies for emotional regulation. Empirical evidence regarding the effectiveness of RULER programs indicates that they enhance students’ academic performance, improve the quality of learning environments, improve teacher-student relationships and reduce student behavior problems, being a success in reducing violence and abusive classroom behavior [ 32 ].

The SEL was developed with the aim of preventing school violence and includes five areas of interconnected skills (self-knowledge, social awareness, self-management and organization, responsible problem solving, and relationship management). Teaching these skills is vital to deal with behavioral, academic, disciplinary, and safety problems, promoting self-awareness, managing emotions, and acquiring skills such as empathy, the ability to perceive different perspectives and points of view, respect for diversity, and the ability to make the right decisions [ 33 ]. SEL programs refer to processes of developing socio-emotional competencies, which depend on the individual’s ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions. These skills are the main building blocks for other outcomes that SEL programs include, such as the ability to persist in the face of challenges, stress management, the ability to develop healthy relationships, build trust in others, and to thrive both in the academic context, as in personal and social life. In a study carried out on more than 213 SEL programs, it was concluded that a school that successfully applies a quality curriculum of the SEL program can achieve behavioral improvements and a positive increase in the results of assessments [ 34 ].

CASEL program was created with the aim of establishing social and emotional education in a school context and making it a reality in today’s education. Its purpose is to apply high-quality, evidence-based SEL programs, from pre-school to secondary education [ 35 ]. The results of this program reveal significant changes in the socio-emotional capacities, social interactions, and academic results of the students who attended these programs. Among the results, it should be noted that students show greater communication skills, are more collaborative in teamwork, and more resistant to challenges and difficulties [ 36 ].

4.1 School conflicts management

The school is a space for socialization par excellence and, precisely, due to the variety of styles, cultures, and values, it becomes an environment rich in conflicts. Conflict, commonly seen as something negative, destructive, and generating violence, is, in fact, extremely necessary for individual evolution. It should be noted that the conflict itself does not generate violence; this comes when there is a lack of peaceful solutions to conflict resolution, when there is no conflict constructive management.

Among the conflict management methodologies used in the school, the following stand out: arbitration, conciliation, negotiation, and mediation. School arbitration is a dialog process that takes place between the involved in the conflict with the presence of a third party that determines the conflict resolution based on the benefits of the parties with their authority and knowledge [ 37 ]. The school conciliation is a dialog process carried out between the involved in the conflict, with the support of a conciliator, who helps them decide, based on their interests and needs. This may present proposals for solutions that the parties can accept or not. The decision-making power belongs to the parties, even if the solution comes from the conciliator [ 37 ]. In turn, the school negotiation is a dialog process focused on conflict resolution between the involved in the conflict, which either meet face to face to work together unassisted to conflict resolution. Negotiation is one of the most used conflict management mechanisms in the classroom. The school mediation, this is a dialog process carried out between the parties in conflict, assisted by a third party, the mediator, who should not influence the conflict resolution, acting as a communication facilitator. Inserted in a socio-constructivist paradigm, it is considered not only as of the most current and flexible instrument for peaceful conflict resolution at the educational level, and promote a new culture for conflict management. Arising not only to solve school problems, but equally as a feasible way for creative conflict modification [ 38 ].

A more detailed approach to school negotiation is presented as it is considered the most appropriate method for resolving classroom conflicts, in teacher-student relationships. Negotiation includes a set of behavioral skills that teachers must master. It is essentially a well-structured process and based on some tacit behavior, being understood as a process of communicative interaction in which two parties seek to resolve a conflict of interest, use dialog, and progress gradually through mutual concessions. The negotiation process implies several skills, which stand out, effective communication, considered the main tool of the negotiation process.

Effective communication is essential to the school conflicts negotiation, as it enhances: the fear decrease of being rejected, the anxiety reduction produced in the struggle for acceptance and recognition, a greater predisposition to listen to the other and recognize their positive aspects, a strengthening of self-esteem, an increase in the degree of security, and a decrease in defensive-offensive behavior [ 39 ].

Concerning the negotiation phases, although there is no consensus on the definition of the negotiation stages, there are at least three that are classically identified [ 40 ]: definition of the content and limits of the negotiation (exploratory stage), with the manifestation of antagonism, facing individuals the “dilemma of trust” and the “dilemma of honesty”; negotiation dynamics (dynamic and tactical stage), with manifestations of concession flexibility, systematically assisting proposals and counter-proposals, constituting the central moment of the negotiation process; and, the resolution and agreements stage, this more integrative, brief, and intense phase, almost always implies tension and uncertainty.

These phases testify to the transformation that the negotiations must undergo and must respond to the three negotiation objectives, namely: identification of differences between the parties, making joint decisions, and building a commitment to resolve the conflict.

Empathy: the pillar of good communication and the connection between teacher and student, which allows one to understand each other’s feelings and motivations;

Assertiveness: being able to expose your point of view, emotions, or opinions without provoking a defensive attitude, through a self-affirmative phrase that tells students what to think without blaming you, not putting you as an opponent. Being assertive requires understanding limitations to do another. The teacher when negotiating a conflict must establish his position and build self-confidence thus limiting abuse situations without attacking students;

Active listening: a tool is useful to obtain more information, corroborating data so that the student knows that he was heard. When we listen actively, we are asking, paraphrasing, asking for clarification, defining, and contextualizing. Some ways of they appear can be by echo, repetition of what the other said, reformulation, expressing in words what was understood, resolving points or questions, summarizing and ordering information or reflection of the feeling, an expression of what we perceive of the other; and

Feedback: the teacher must support and encourage positive behavior, correcting the inappropriate ones. To put feedback into practice, it is necessary to let the student know what the teacher feels and what he thinks.

That way, thinking of the joint construction of solutions to the conflict, through the correct use of empathy, assertiveness, active listening, and feedback can make those involved in the conflict evaluate their actions and rethink their attitudes, discovering ways to solve the problems, trying to maintain respect and balance. Knowing how to listen, evaluate, rethink with everyone involved in the conflict, creating the habit of dialog. Because when those involved in the conflict participate in the construction of possible actions for solutions, relationships can be restored, and the conflict constructively resolved. Therefore, classroom conflicts when managed constructively contribute to the preservation of interpersonal bonds and promote the socio-emotional skills of involved, since it makes possible to develop skills to know how to see reality from the perspective of the other, knowing how to cooperate, and also learn that conflict is an opportunity for growth and maturation.

As seen, although conflicts have negative impacts in general, the constructive and destructive consequences of conflict depend on the management skills of the individuals who experience it [ 25 ]. Effective conflict management strategies minimize the conflict negative impacts and enhance the positive ones, helping to improve interpersonal relationships and job satisfaction at school.

In general, teachers and the school ignore the importance of conflicts in the integral development of the student and training as autonomous citizens. In this way, most schools do not conceive of conflict resolution as an integral part of the curriculum, emphasizing only the contents of the curricular subjects. They leave aside interpersonal relationships, homogenizing the training of students without promoting the development of problem and conflict management skills. Thus, for the educational potential of the conflict to be truly used in the school context, it is necessary that the community, and especially teachers and management bodies, recognize the conflict possibilities. Constructive management of school conflicts is important and necessary for new generations to learn to live with social differences.

In this sequence, educational action is required, intentionally aimed at conflict management as an element inherent to the human condition and indispensable to democratic societies. Therefore, the formative potential of the conflict depends on the strategies used to resolve the conflict and the management that takes place. The way to conflict management, in turn, depends on how those involved experience the conflict. Therefore, the negative view of the conflict and the lack of perception of its educational potential can prevent those involved from developing essential skills such as respect for diversity, respect for the rights of others, and availability for dialog.

Pérez-de-Guzmán et al. [ 7 ] indicate that training in conflict management, generates very positive results in all members of the educational community, verifying a reduction in the interpersonal conflict between teacher-student. Also, Massabni [ 41 ] defends the urgency to prepare teachers to face professional conflicts; otherwise, we will have a generation of teachers able to succumb to the pressure that the profession is going through, to accept the reduction of their action, their status, and to share their commitments with other professionals, who take away the property of regulating their work. It is necessary to support teachers and provide them with tools to develop their ways of managing conflicts.

By making conflicts the subject of reflection and explaining the professional context in which teachers work is, in the opinion of [ 41 ], the commitment of the different higher education institutions that form them. It is important to work not only on the training of future teachers but also on training in the active teachers in conflict management, small or large, which inevitably emerge in the teacher-student relationship, throughout their professional life. Also, the Freire et al. [ 42 ] results support the importance of professional development opportunities with a focus on facilitating the relationship of teachers with students with perceived challenging behavior.

5. Conclusions

The school is an institution that reproduces a microcosm of society, bringing together diverse identities. This context with diverse personalities, rules, and values is full of conflicts, problems, and differences between the different actors that make up the school (students, teachers, staff, and parents). Thus, the school system, in addition to involving a range of people, with different characteristics, includes a significant number of continuous and complex interactions, depending on the stages of development of each one. So, school is a place where individuals with different characteristics, backgrounds, experiences, and personalities live together daily. Among so many differences, naturally, divergences of the most diverse species arise. It is essential, then, the proper management of conflicts that may arise so that harmony and respect are present in the school of the main causes presented for the school conflict, we highlight family problems. Being the family the main student emotional support, it becomes the life model of this. In this way, unstable and weakened family relationships directly affect the behavior of your children, behaviors that these after reproduced in the school social relationships. The families of the most deprived students are considered less functional. They do not contribute to the growth of positive feelings, they do not carry out good communication between family members, nor do they assist in healthily making decisions that are, based on the exchange of ideas together instead of imposition. In this sequence, students from more dysfunctional families need school increased support to learn and develop interpersonal skills. Thus, family and school must go together to contribute to the conflict becoming part of a process of growth, acceptance of the other, and accountability. Learning to deal with conflicts positively is essential for the development of healthy relationships.

The school, by bringing together people from different social groups with different values and worldviews, becomes a locus for conflicts. Thus, the conflict must be understood as a reality inherent to the educational context, and the school, as responsible for the education of values and skills for living together must be differently prepared to deal with the conflicts that occur in it.

Conflicts of various types have always been present in the classroom, and the causes that originate them are of great importance, as they allow a better conflict understanding and, consequently, a more correct intervention to its management. It should be noted that personal harmony and the development of attitudes that promote understanding, dialog, and tolerance are indispensable for negotiating conflicts in the teacher-student relationship. The way to intervene in classroom conflicts is essential in education, not only in terms of content, but also as a series of vital procedures in interpersonal relationships. As Lapponi [ 39 ] points out, for conflicts correct negotiation with the student, it is necessary to communicate effectively, cooperate, decide responsibly, and so teach to resolve conflicts.

Ending school conflict is impossible, since they are intrinsic to the human being, being an integral part of their development and the interpersonal relationships they experience daily. Learning to live with school conflict requires creating attitudes of openness, interest in differences, and respect for diversity, teaching how to recognize injustice, taking measures to overcome it, resolving differences constructively, and moving from conflict situations to reconciliations. So, it is essential that the initial and continuous training of teachers encompasses conflict management, providing them with tools so that they can resolve the conflicts they experience in the classroom.

In summary, it is important to conflict face and resolve it with skills to manage it properly and constructively, establishing cooperative relationships, and producing integrative solutions. Harmony and appreciation should coexist in a classroom environment and conflict should not interfere, negatively, in the teaching and learning process.

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Home — Essay Samples — Literature — Romeo and Juliet — Conflict Shown in Romeo and Juliet

Conflict Shown in Romeo and Juliet

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Table of contents

Family feuds, societal expectations, individual choices, culmination of conflict.

• Shakespeare, William. Romeo and Juliet.
• Greenblatt, Stephen. "Teaching Romeo and Juliet in the 21st century." Shakespeare Quarterly 60.2 (2009): 220-231.
• Hopkins, Lisa. "Conflicts in Romeo and Juliet." Scribbendi , 2019, https://www.scribendi.com/advice/conflicts_in_romeo_and_juliet.en.html.

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Communicating Through Conflict: How to Get Along with Anyone

In this episode, Amy Gallo shares how disagreements, if reframed, can lead to more productive outcomes.

May 29, 2024

Many of us would rank getting along with colleagues as an important aspect of work, but, as Amy Gallo explains, relationships devoid of disagreement can actually be less productive.

“While our natural human instinct is to avoid conflict, I believe that conflicts are not only an inevitable part of interacting with other humans, but they’re a necessary part.”

Gallo is a workplace expert, host of HBR’s Women at Work podcast, and the author of Getting Along: How to Work With Anyone . Across her work, Gallo demonstrates that the key to transforming conflicts into something productive is to understand their root causes and learn how to reframe them.

“Even at the base of those unhealthy conflicts or those unproductive conflicts is something that needs to be resolved,” she says.

In her conversation with host and strategic communications lecturer Matt Abrahams, Gallo provides useful frameworks and new concepts on how we can approach conflicts at work.

Listen & Subscribe

Think Fast, Talk Smart is a podcast produced by Stanford Graduate School of Business. Each episode provides concrete, easy-to-implement tools and techniques to help you hone and enhance your communication skills.

Full Transcript

Note: Transcripts are generated by machine and lightly edited by humans. They may contain errors.

Matt Abrahams: Many of us seek to keep conflict out of our work, but counterintuitively conflict can actually help us be better at work. My name is Matt Abrahams and I teach Strategic Communication at Stanford Graduate School of Business. Welcome to Think Fast Talk Smart, the podcast . Today I look forward to speaking with Amy Gallo. Amy is a workplace expert who writes and speaks about gender, interpersonal dynamics, difficult conversations, feedback, and effective communication. She’s the author of Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone, even Difficult People , and the HBR Guide to Dealing With Conflict , and she co-hosts HBR’s popular Women at Work podcast. Amy, thanks for being here.

Amy Gallo: Thanks for having me. I feel like we’re going to have a lot to talk about.

Matt Abrahams: Oh, I agree, and I’m so excited to get started. Are you ready?

Amy Gallo: I’m Ready.

[01:00] Matt Abrahams: Many of us see conflict as bad as something that we should avoid. Can you give us your thoughts on conflict and its importance in relationships, teams and organizations?

Amy Gallo: Yeah, it’s funny you’d think that I would be brought in to situations, organizations, teams where people are having too much conflict, but it’s actually quite the reverse. I’m often brought in because there’s not enough disagreement happening, there’s not enough feedback, not enough tension or friction, and I am a big believer that while our natural human instinct is to avoid conflict, because of course we are hardwired for likability and we see conflict as a potential rupture in our relationship or possibly damaging to our reputation, I actually believe that conflicts are not only inevitable part of interacting with other humans, but they’re a necessary part. There’s lots of research that shows that conflict leads to better work outcomes, stronger relationships, and of course that depends on navigating the conflict in a professional, productive, relational way with compassion and caring. But when done well, conflict has a whole host of good outcomes, both for our relationships, most certainly for teams, and as well for organizations. And I think we actually should be spending more time not trying to eliminate conflict, but trying to create the right kinds of conflict.

Matt Abrahams: Wow, I love that you’re brought in to talk about how to actually facilitate effective conflict. What are some of the things we can do to bring around what you call the right type of conflict? How do we do that?

[02:39] Amy Gallo: Well, one, I think we have to normalize conflict, right? So I’m sure you’ve been in this situation where you’re in a team meeting and someone disagrees with someone, someone says, or maybe is a slightly dismissive or just something starts to happen and the whole room just gets tense, right? And everyone feels like, oh gosh, well, how are we going to deal with this? And some people may immediately try to smooth it over. It might devolve quickly. The reality is we don’t make conflict normal. We don’t say we’re going to disagree. We’re not going to see eye to eye all the time. We should be debating ideas. And that’s the first step I think for teams and organizations. We want leaders who say, conflict’s going to happen. That’s good. We want the tensions. We want people to disagree about the best way to roll out this project or the right way to design a feature for our customers.

We want that disagreement and we want it to be about the ideas, not about the people. And I think that’s the key part is that when conflicts happen, we immediately think, oh, Matt and Amy aren’t getting along. Oh, there’s going to be a fight. What’s going to happen here? And we immediately think it’s you versus me as opposed to, oh wow, Matt really cares about speed. Matt is always the one who really puts the pedal to the metal, wants us to get there fast, whereas Amy is pressing on the brakes saying No highest quality product possible. Those are good tensions to have. We’re glad Matt and Amy are debating this because we’ll figure out the right way to proceed if we keep it on that level of ideas. The other thing I think is really key is I go back always to Amy Edmondson or at Harvard Business Schools work around psychological safety. You really need to have psychological safety on your team in order to have these disagreements, right? We talk about admitting mistakes, speaking up without fear of retribution or fear of negative consequences. If people are going to feel comfortable enough to say, you know what, Matt, I’m not sure I see that the same way. Let’s talk it through. That is a potential risk to our relationship, so it’s going to cause a disruption, but we have to normalize those disruptions and give people permission to raise them.

[04:45] Matt Abrahams: So there’s a lot that we can do to set up in our relationships, be they in our personal life or in our work life, to actually facilitate conflict that is actually productive. So establishing psychological safety makes a lot of sense. Amy was a guest on the podcast, and I encourage everybody to listen in to the specifics of how we can do that. We have to feel comfortable disagreeing, and then it sounds like those in power, the leaders of a group can acknowledge that conflict is good and recognize it when it’s happening. I like that example you gave where you say, Hey, these two people are in conflict and we need that conflict to help us stay of the course. And then clearly it’s really important that we focus on the problem or the issue and not the people, because once it becomes personal, the emotions can certainly change. So I really appreciate you helping us understand how we can set up an environment for positive conflict. Now, I’d like to have you help us when that conflict we’re having is not so positive. Can you share a framework or two for helping us navigate conflict that might not be the kind of conflict we really want to have?

Amy Gallo: Yeah, and the idea is not to eliminate conflict even if we feel like it’s unhealthy, but it’s to try to transform it into something more productive. Because usually even at the base of those unhealthy conflicts or those unproductive conflicts is something that needs to be resolved. So one framework I’ll share, and this is from my first book, the HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict, is really thinking about before you even have a difficult conversation, say you have a conflict where you and the other person have been disrespecting each other, maybe there was a snarky email that got sent with lots of people CC’d on it, and you need to actually have a conversation before you do that. I recommend taking four steps, and these also, by the way, can be used as a coaching tool. So perhaps you’re a leader and someone comes to you and says, I’m having a conflict with so-and-So you can use these four steps to help that person think through the conflict as well.

[06:42]: The first step is to think about the other person. So when we are under stress or when we have a threat, conflict is often seen as a threat, as a threat to our identity, to our resources, to the sense of harmony we have. When that happens, we become naturally narcissistic and we become focused on what do I want to say? What do I want to do? We don’t think about the other person, not out of generosity, but the very first step is to think strategically what’s going on with that other person? What’s motivating them? What do they care about? What would be a rational reason that they’re behaving this way? And that’s going to give you some cues as to how to navigate this not so healthy conflict. Put yourself in their shoes just for a few minutes. Then you want to think about what are we actually disagreeing about?

[07:27]: Because sometimes we take these shortcuts, like the snarky email goes out and we’re like, oh, Matt and I have never gotten along. We have this total personality clash attributed to the person, or we make it bigger than it really is, and you have to really think what is at issue here, right? Are we disagreeing about the goal of this project? Are we disagreeing about status? Who actually gets to make the call? What do we actually disagree about? Really try to understand. Then the third step is to think about your goal. What is it that I actually want to achieve? You might be tempted to have a short-term goal. I just want to prove I’m right and he’s wrong, not helpful. What’s your long-term goal? What is it you? Is it that you need to get this project done on time? Is it that you want to preserve your relationship with the other person because you need to work closely together for the next six months?

[08:14]: Whatever it is, focus on that and with that information, what you know about the other person, what you’re disagreeing about, what your goal is, you then make a decision about how to proceed. It has to be really thoughtful. I think we often act rashly because we’re sort of activated from the conflict, but you have to really be thoughtful. Does it make sense to sit down and talk this through? Who else might need to be in the room? Should I have a phone call if we’re remote, should I do a zoom meeting? Whatever it is, think through what’s the best way to set up this conversation for success. So that four step framework is something I always use whenever I’m trying to coach someone who’s really uncomfortable in thinking, I don’t want to have this conversation, or I just want to tell them they’re wrong and have them fix it. So those four steps can help you be much more thoughtful about preparing and being ready for the conversation.

[09:06] Matt Abrahams: One of the things I appreciate so much about your work is the frameworks that you provide, and I think frameworks are wonderful to help. Give us a moment to step back and reflect on what it is in terms of the best approach to managing these situations. I love that we first start by being other focused. It is so easy to get focused on our needs and what we want in that moment, and then to really look at what’s the source? What’s causing this conflict? What is it I want to achieve for me and perhaps for the other person or the organization. And then to really create a plan for how to proceed and then to think about when I actually do have the conversation, what’s the best way to do it in terms of timing, in terms of who else needs to be present and in terms of which is the best channel through which to have that communication really, really matters. I know for myself, when I’m in conflictual situations, I just want it to be over. I want to make sure that I get my way and I just want to move on. Having a framework like yours can really help slow me down and make me other focused, which I think will really help in resolving these conflicts.

Amy Gallo: Can I just make a comment? Having it my way is so normal, it’s so relatable. I mean, I’m thinking about a conflict I had yesterday and I was like, how can I set this up and truthfully, how can I manipulate this situation so it just goes my way? And then I was like, wait a second, I’m going to put this person completely on the defensive. This is all going to devolve, and then I’m going to have to have five more conversations instead of one in which I’m actually collaborative instead of manipulative. And so I think we really, that’s an important part is I often get asked, well, how can I make them do this? I was like, you cannot make them do anything, but what you can do is lay the groundwork for a collaborative discussion in which hopefully you both will get what you want or at least part of what you want. It’s rare to have a zero sum situation where you can’t sort of find something where you both can win a little.

[11:09] Matt Abrahams: People can’t see that I’m smiling broadly because it does my heart well to know that an expert in conflict management still falls into some of the traps that I do. Something there that you said that I think is really critical that I want to call out is that the goal of these conversations is invitation rather than getting the person to be defensive, that you want to invite the person to work with you to solve the problem. It’s a collaborative effort rather than a manipulative effort where you’re just trying to work around the other person. And one of the biggest payoffs beyond collaboration is it ultimately saves you time because as you implied, if you just try to manipulate the situation, you then have to spend so much time cleaning up that mess. So there’s an incentive just in terms of efficiency, I think, in all of this.

Amy Gallo: Absolutely.

[11:56] Matt Abrahams: Now, we’ve talked a lot about conflict and people that are difficult. I’d like to switch gears and look at the other side of the coin. In your book getting along, you share the benefits of having friends at work and actually seeking out those friendships. Can you shed some light on the benefits of having colleagues and friends at work, and what are some of your principles for how we can get along with anyone that we work with?

[12:22] Amy Gallo: I love this question because I think we could spend all day talking through the patterns of behavior that drive us up a wall, but the reality is when you look at all of the stats, most people have a majority of positive relationships at work, or at least neutral. The problem is those negative relationships take up an outsized portion of our energy and emotion, and so we’re really thinking a lot about the difficult people when in reality we should be spending most of our time focusing on the more positive relationships because there’s lots and lots of research that shows that those positive relationships have such a huge benefit, not only emotionally on us, right? Of course, it feels good to have a best friend on work, but also creatively in terms of efficiency. One of my favorite pieces of research I found in working on the book was a group of researchers at Rutgers University found that people who reported having a best friend at work had higher performance ratings.

[13:20] I think we often think about relationships as a bonus, right? Like, oh, I like the people I work with. Oh, how lucky you are. But the reality is it affects how we actually do our jobs. It’s not the icing on the cake. It is the cake. Now, that doesn’t mean that everyone at work has to be your best friends. You don’t have to go out for drinks. You don’t have to invite each other over for cookouts on the weekend. It just means you have to care about one another and be invested in one another’s success. That sort of warmth and benevolence between people really can make a big difference in how we experience work, but also in how we carry out and do the work.

[13:58] Matt Abrahams: But I’m hearing you say as your friends help you lighten your load. That’s right. That’s amazing. I know I made a mistake early in my managerial career where my whole goal was to be liked. I just wanted people to like me to be my friends, and I over-indexed on that so much so that people would take advantage of me. I’d love for you to share some advice about how to actually foster friendships at work without going to the extreme as I did and actually end up not making friends and actually making life a little bit worse for those who are reporting to me.

[14:29] Amy Gallo: So many people have been in your shoes, myself included, of if I’m liked, that is the gold. Every manager just wants to be everyone’s favorite manager. Why wouldn’t you want that? But if you think back to the managers you had, they weren’t necessarily my favorite managers. Sometimes it was actually the person who I didn’t have the warmest relationship with, but I respect it and I learned a lot and they pushed me. So I think really mentally thinking, focus on respect over likability. The other key piece is boundaries, and I think the issue there is you’re managing people, you’re becoming friends, and then you either feel taken advantage of, people start to perceive favoritism, all of those things that can happen, and that’s where you really need boundaries. In fact, I actually reported at one point in my career to someone who was a very good friend from college, and when we began our working relationship, we were very clear.

[15:22] We’re like, we got to keep this separate for the perception of others. We don’t want us to be perceived as playing favorites or giving one another advantages, but also because we don’t want it to impact our friendship. If she called me, I would say I’d pick up and say, friend call or work call, and I think it was really clear, and when there were potential conflicts of interest, which there were sometimes we were very clear about, okay, how are we going to navigate this? And I think that has to be true even if your friend is your peer, right, have a conversation. It doesn’t have to be sort of this in depth define the relationship conversation, but it could be helpful to say, sometimes I’m going to have information that you’re not going to be privy to. Sometimes I’m going to have to make a decision that I know is not going to be something you’re going to be super happy with, but how do we want to handle that? When that comes up, how do we want to make sure our friendship stays intact and not impact the work relationships? So I think boundaries are really important.

[16:16] Matt Abrahams: That is so helpful, and the notion of boundary setting is critical to those relationships, and you might set different boundaries with different colleagues, but having an overt, explicit conversation about the boundaries I think is critical, and certainly your advice to focus on being respected versus being liked is what I ultimately came to that conclusion, but it certainly had some, there were negative consequences before I learned that lesson, and in fact, the advice I give all new managers is focus on building trust, focus on building respect and liking often comes from that.

Amy Gallo: That’s right.

Matt Abrahams: Amy, this has been fantastic. I’ve enjoyed listening to all of your advice and guidance and it is so applicable in my daily life and I’m sure in the lives of the listeners we have. Before we end, I’d like to ask you three questions. One, I’m going to create just for you, and the other two are consistent across all of our guests. Are you up for answering?

Amy Gallo: Absolutely

[17:12] Matt Abrahams: Great. I’d like for you to think back to a challenging or conflictual situation you’ve had and what are you most proud of in terms of how you handled it?

[17:23] Amy Gallo: I have a 17-year-old daughter, and we talk about conflict a lot. What I’m realizing and what I’m most proud of in negotiating conflicts with her is being able to in the moment say, here are the various things that I’m struggling with. I want to be a good mom. I want to appear as a good mom. I want to care for you, and I also need my needs met, and to be able to talk through the conflicts of interest that have, it’s not always easy. Sometimes I’m just at level 10 and losing my mind, but when I can sort of take it down a few levels and actually be present enough to say, Hey, this is what’s going on, she’s so much more responsive because instead of being that know it all mom who’s just telling her what to do instead, I’m a real person who’s struggling saying, I don’t know what the best answer is, and this is why I’m doing what I’m doing.

[18:16] Matt Abrahams: I think that is wonderful that you can do that, and I strive to do that. It can help in any interaction, not just with our kids to say, here are the things I’m struggling with in this moment, sounding real, and maybe even getting some advice and guidance to be more collaborative. Question number two, who is a communicator that you admire and why?

Amy Gallo: I have maybe a slightly strange answer, but there’s a comedian named TIG Nataro. She’s an interesting communicator. She speaks very slowly. She’s very dry, sense of humor. The other thing I like about the way she communicates, it’s delightful. She doesn’t always say what you expect, the element of surprise, not in a bad way because you can also really feel the authenticity and the intention behind what she says, and so the way that she sort of surprises you by reacting in a certain way or just sort of laying a joke that’s very relatable, very human. I always appreciate what TIG has to say.

Matt Abrahams: So it sounds like the conversational and surprising nature of the communication is what really attracts you to it. I think those are two criteria that can draw all of us into communication. We often can be very scripted and purposeful in everything we say, and sometimes having a little bit of surprise can be helpful. Final question for you, what are the first three ingredients that go into a successful communication recipe?

Amy Gallo: First, I would say empathy. I think ultimately communication is about balancing your needs and someone else’s needs. I would say assertiveness, actually knowing what you want to say and saying it confidently, and then curiosity. I really always try to lead with what do I not know that I want to know, and how do I communicate in a way that will help me get that

[20:01] Matt Abrahams: Empathy, curiosity, and assertiveness. Great communication recipe. Start with what the others need, understand their perspective. Be curious about how you can connect and collaborate and then be clear and assertive in what you want. Amy, thank you so much for your time and for your guidance. I certainly have benefited personally in dealing with challenging situations. I appreciate your time and your information. Thank you so much.

Amy Gallo: Thank you, Matt. This has been really fun.

[20:34] Matt Abrahams: Thanks for joining us for another episode of Think Fast Talk Smart, the podcast from Stanford Graduate School of Business. This episode was produced by Jenny Luna, Michael Reilly, and me Matt Abrahams. For more information and episodes, visit gsb.stanford.edu or subscribe to our show wherever you get your podcasts. Finally, find us on social media at StanfordGSB.

For media inquiries, visit the Newsroom .

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The Conflict that Shaped the 20th Century: Hitler’s Role in World War II

This essay about Adolf Hitler’s involvement in World War II examines his rise to power, the ideological foundations of his regime, and the resulting global conflict. It highlights how Hitler’s expansionist policies and the desire for Lebensraum led to the annexation of Austria and Czechoslovakia, ultimately triggering World War II with the invasion of Poland in 1939. The essay outlines the initial successes of Hitler’s Blitzkrieg strategy, the turning point of Operation Barbarossa against the Soviet Union, and the eventual collapse of Nazi Germany following the Allied invasion of Normandy. It also addresses the Holocaust, detailing the genocidal campaign that resulted in the systematic murder of six million Jews and millions of others. The essay concludes by emphasizing the profound impact of Hitler’s actions and the war’s lasting legacy.

How it works

One of the most important and tragic periods in contemporary history is Adolf Hitler’s participation in World War II. History is still being affected by his ascent to power, the ideological underpinnings of his government, and the disastrous outcomes of the war he started. Gaining an understanding of Hitler’s involvement in World War II is crucial to understanding the events leading up to one of the worst wars in history.

In 1933, Adolf Hitler assumed the position of Chancellor of Germany, serving as the leader of the Nazi Party, also known as the National Socialist German Workers’ Party (NSDAP).

His expansionist philosophy and assertive foreign policy had a crucial role in the events leading up to World War II. The idea that the Aryan race was better and would eventually reign over other races served as the foundation for Hitler’s worldview. Many of his choices and deeds were motivated by this worldview, like as his desire of Lebensraum, or “living space,” for Germans, which entailed enlarging German territory at the expense of nearby nations.

The seeds of World War II were sown long before the actual fighting began. The Treaty of Versailles, which ended World War I, imposed harsh penalties and reparations on Germany. This treaty fostered deep resentment and economic hardship within the German population. Hitler capitalized on these sentiments, promising to restore Germany’s former glory and rectify the perceived injustices of the treaty. His rhetoric resonated with many Germans who felt humiliated and economically burdened by the post-World War I settlement.

In 1938, Hitler annexed Austria in the Anschluss, a move that was largely unopposed by the international community. Emboldened by this success, he turned his attention to Czechoslovakia, demanding the Sudetenland, a region with a significant German-speaking population. The Munich Agreement, signed in September 1938 by Germany, Britain, France, and Italy, allowed Hitler to annex the Sudetenland in exchange for a promise of no further territorial expansion. This policy of appeasement, intended to prevent another large-scale war, ultimately failed as Hitler continued his aggressive expansion.

On September 1, 1939, Germany invaded Poland, triggering the official start of World War II. Britain and France, bound by treaties to protect Poland, declared war on Germany two days later. Hitler’s strategy, known as Blitzkrieg or “lightning war,” was characterized by rapid, coordinated attacks using infantry, tanks, and air power. This strategy proved highly effective in the early stages of the war, allowing Germany to quickly overrun much of Europe, including Poland, Denmark, Norway, Belgium, the Netherlands, and France.

Despite initial successes, Hitler’s war plans began to falter. One of the critical turning points was the invasion of the Soviet Union in June 1941, known as Operation Barbarossa. Hitler underestimated the resilience and capacity of the Soviet Union, leading to a prolonged and brutal conflict on the Eastern Front. The harsh Russian winter, combined with fierce Soviet resistance, halted the German advance and eventually led to significant losses for the Wehrmacht.

Simultaneously, Germany’s war with the Allies on the Western Front intensified. The United States entered the war after Japan’s attack on Pearl Harbor in December 1941, providing critical support to the Allied powers. The Allied invasion of Normandy in June 1944, known as D-Day, marked the beginning of the end for Nazi Germany. The successful landing of Allied forces in France led to the liberation of Western Europe and eventually to the collapse of Hitler’s regime.

The war also saw the implementation of the Holocaust, Hitler’s genocidal campaign to exterminate Jews and other groups deemed undesirable by the Nazi ideology. Six million Jews, along with millions of others, including Romani people, disabled individuals, political dissidents, and others, were systematically murdered in concentration camps and mass executions. The Holocaust remains one of the darkest chapters in human history, underscoring the extreme consequences of unchecked hatred and totalitarianism.

By April 1945, as Allied forces closed in on Berlin, Hitler’s grip on power was tenuous. On April 30, 1945, facing imminent defeat, Hitler committed suicide in his bunker. Germany surrendered unconditionally on May 7, 1945, marking the end of World War II in Europe. The war had claimed tens of millions of lives, caused widespread destruction, and left an indelible mark on the world.

In summary, Adolf Hitler’s involvement in World War II was crucial to the disastrous results of the fight as well as its causes. His strong militarism, genocidal ideology, and expansionist agendas caused unimaginable pain and carnage. In order to avoid future conflicts and make sure that such crimes are never committed again, it is imperative that we absorb the lessons from this terrible time. Hitler’s involvement in World War II and its aftermath serve as a sobering reminder of the perils associated with prejudice, tyranny, and unbridled ambition.

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PapersOwl.com. (2024). The Conflict That Shaped the 20th Century: Hitler's Role in World War II . [Online]. Available at: https://papersowl.com/examples/the-conflict-that-shaped-the-20th-century-hitlers-role-in-world-war-ii/ [Accessed: 5-Jun-2024]

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Guest Essay

America’s Military Is Not Prepared for War — or Peace

By Roger Wicker

Mr. Wicker, a Republican, is the ranking member of the U.S. Senate Armed Services Committee.

“To be prepared for war,” George Washington said, “is one of the most effectual means of preserving peace.” President Ronald Reagan agreed with his forebear’s words, and peace through strength became a theme of his administration. In the past four decades, the American arsenal helped secure that peace, but political neglect has led to its atrophy as other nations’ war machines have kicked into high gear. Most Americans do not realize the specter of great power conflict has risen again.

It is far past time to rebuild America’s military. We can avoid war by preparing for it.

When America’s senior military leaders testify before my colleagues and me on the U.S. Senate Armed Services Committee behind closed doors, they have said that we face some of the most dangerous global threat environments since World War II. Then, they darken that already unsettling picture by explaining that our armed forces are at risk of being underequipped and outgunned. We struggle to build and maintain ships, our fighter jet fleet is dangerously small, and our military infrastructure is outdated. Meanwhile, America’s adversaries are growing their militaries and getting more aggressive.

In China, the country’s leader, Xi Jinping, has orchestrated a historic military modernization intended to exploit the U.S. military’s weaknesses. He has overtaken the U.S. Navy in fleet size, built one of the world’s largest missile stockpiles and made big advances in space. President Vladimir Putin of Russia has thrown Europe into war and mobilized his society for long-term conflict. Iran and its proxy groups have escalated their shadow war against Israel and increased attacks on U.S. ships and soldiers. And North Korea has disregarded efforts toward arms control negotiations and moved toward wartime readiness.

Worse yet, these governments are materially helping one another, cooperating in new ways to prevent an American-led 21st century. Iran has provided Russia with battlefield drones, and China is sending technical and logistical help to aid Mr. Putin’s war. They are also helping one another prepare for future fights by increasing weapons transfers and to evade sanctions. Their unprecedented coordination makes new global conflict increasingly possible.

That theoretical future could come faster than most Americans think. We may find ourselves in a state of extreme vulnerability in a matter of a few years, according to a growing consensus of experts. Our military readiness could be at its lowest point in decades just as China’s military in particular hits its stride. The U.S. Indo-Pacific commander released what I believe to be the largest list of unfunded items ever for services and combatant commands for next year’s budget, amounting to $11 billion. It requested funding for a raft of infrastructure, missile defense and targeting programs that would prove vital in a Pacific fight. China, on the other hand, has no such problems, as it accumulates the world’s leading hypersonic arsenal with a mix of other lethal cruise and attack missiles.

Our military leaders are being forced to make impossible choices. The Navy is struggling to adequately fund new ships, routine maintenance and munition procurement; it is unable to effectively address all three. We recently signed a deal to sell submarines to Australia, but we’ve failed to sufficiently fund our own submarine industrial base, leaving an aging fleet unprepared to respond to threats. Two of the three most important nuclear modernization programs are underfunded and are at risk of delays. The military faces a backlog of at least $180 billion for basic maintenance, from barracks to training ranges. This projects weakness to our adversaries as we send service members abroad with diminished ability to respond to crises.

Fortunately, we can change course. We can avoid that extreme vulnerability and resurrect American military might.

On Wednesday I am publishing a plan that includes a series of detailed proposals to address this reality head-on. We have been living off the Reagan military buildup for too long; it is time for updates and upgrades. My plan outlines why and how the United States should aim to spend an additional $55 billion on the military in the 2025 fiscal year and grow military spending from a projected 2.9 percent of our national gross domestic product this year to 5 percent over the next five to seven years.

It would be a significant investment that would start a reckoning over our nation’s spending priorities. There will be conversations ahead about all manner of budget questions. We do not need to spend this much indefinitely — but we do need a short-term generational investment to help us prevent another world war.

My blueprint would grow the Navy to 357 ships by 2035 and halt our shrinking Air Force fleet by producing at least 340 additional fighters in five years. This will help patch near-term holes and put each fleet on a sustainable trajectory. The plan would also replenish the Air Force tanker and training fleets, accelerate the modernization of the Army and Marine Corps, and invest in joint capabilities that are all too often forgotten, including logistics and munitions.

The proposal would build on the $3.3 billion in submarine industrial base funding included in the national security supplemental passed in April, so we can bolster our defense and that of our allies. It would also rapidly equip service members all over the world with innovative technologies at scale, from the seabed to the stars.

We should pair increased investment with wiser spending. Combining this crucial investment with fiscal responsibility would funnel resources to the most strategic ends. Emerging technology must play an essential role, and we can build and deploy much of it in less than five years. My road map would also help make improvements to the military procurement system and increase accountability for bureaucrats and companies that fail to perform on vital national security projects.

This whole endeavor would shake our status quo but be far less disruptive and expensive than the alternative. Should China decide to wage war with the United States, the global economy could immediately fall into a depression. Americans have grown far too comfortable under the decades-old presumption of overwhelming military superiority. And that false sense of security has led us to ignore necessary maintenance and made us vulnerable.

Our ability to deter our adversaries can be regained because we have done it before. At the 50th anniversary of Pearl Harbor, in the twilight of the Soviet Union, George H.W. Bush reflected on the lessons of Pearl Harbor. Though the conflict was long gone, it taught him an enduring lesson: “When it comes to national defense,” he said, “finishing second means finishing last.”

Regaining American strength will be expensive. But fighting a war — and worse, losing one — is far more costly. We need to begin a national conversation today on how we achieve a peaceful, prosperous and American-led 21st century. The first step is a generational investment in the U.S. military.

Roger Wicker is the senior U.S. senator from Mississippi and the ranking member of the Senate Armed Services Committee.

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What's Your Fighting Style?

Understanding how people argue can help you resolve conflicts in a useful way..

Posted May 30, 2024 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

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• People in conflict with others tend to behave in several discrete ways.
• The four main types of conflict style are appeasement, avoidance, aggression, and alliance.
• Understanding the conflict style of someone close to you can help you resolve arguments more productively.

You’ve probably heard all about the five love languages (Chapman, 2015) and you may even know the five types of attraction . But if it’s possible to count the ways in which people show love for each other, perhaps it’s also possible to understand conflict—the ways in which people clash—in the same manner. In other words, is there a small, knowable number of styles that people resort to when they argue? The question has been studied in a number of ways, from popular to experimental to psychoanalytic . You won’t have any trouble finding a variety of answers with Google: People have divided the most common “fighting styles”—not to be confused with the 16 basic types of martial arts—into four, or five, or six, or even more. These patterns of behavior, however, come down to four main responses to interpersonal challenge: aggression , avoidance, appeasement, and alliance.

1. Aggression. I’ll start with the aggressor, whom you’ll recognize as a person whose first instinct is to argue—the one with a very short fuse, who immediately fights back and ratchets up the stakes. Aggressors come to be seen as hot-headed, sensitive, or easily triggered to anger. In the best-case scenario, they’re competitive and assertive, although they don’t easily cooperate. An aggressor may speak up impulsively and quickly resort to anger—in a frightening way, sometimes—or may even try so hard to win a fight that they’ll dispense with fairness and say things they do not mean. What an aggressor says in the heat of the moment may cause long-term damage to the bonds between friends or family. Inside, though, aggressive people may be terrified. Even if they want an argument resolved, they still must struggle with an upwelling of inner feelings that they can’t easily express. They may be exquisitely aware of their own vulnerability; they may believe, at some level, that if they do not win an argument then their internal fragility will be revealed. This creates a chronic sense of anxiety and a quick, defensive response to a perceived threat. Aggressors believe they can only win when you lose, so they try very hard to tilt any game in their direction—which gives the impression that they value their own private needs over those of a relationship.

2. Avoidance. Other people are prone to retreating at the first hint of an argument. They prefer to ignore problems, hoping they’ll go away, rather than to manage them openly; this habit may lead them to dodge potentially productive conversations. As such, they will often be seen as something less than assertive, and they can give the impression of not caring about a given issue (or the people involved). Avoiders sometimes come across to others as emotionally cold, distant, or silent. The disagreements in which they find themselves embroiled may go own simmering for years without bursting into open conflict. Avoidant people tend to project an attitude of not caring about the personal needs of others, or even about their own; continually avoiding conflicts generally results in a lose-lose outcome, in which nobody ever wins and progress is never made.

• 2a. A prominent subtype of avoidance is intellectualization —the perceived need to look for “rational” answers, or to make efforts to solve problems using “logic.” Even when winning a debate like this will deepen a conflict, intellectualizers may continue to press their points; in addition, people who insist on intellectualizing their conflicts will likely completely ignore the feelings of the people with whom they argue. Consequently, their personal style may come across as not only cold, but also arrogant.
• 2b. Another type of avoider has been called the “defector”—a person who physically disappears when conflict rears its head. They’re so non-confrontational that they prefer to leave the room entirely, or even depart from a relationship, rather than to communicate dissent. Outside, they’ll seem blank or cold as they stonewall you, fall silent, or decline to engage; inside, they may be churning with discomfort that they do not know how to express.

3. Appeasement. Not everyone made physically uncomfortable by conflict is likely to vanish at the mere hint of it; others will try to resolve conflicts as quickly as possible, even if such a resolution is premature or superficial. Appeasers do their best to accommodate anyone who challenges them, and in “rolling over” this way, may even make a significant sacrifice of their own needs in favor of promptly ending an argument. Argue with an appeaser and you will undoubtedly “win” at their expense, which may not feel terribly satisfying: Their self-sabotage can convey a lack of assertiveness or even a sense of martyrdom. Solutions reached this way may be frivolous or inappropriate, and can ultimately lead to resentment, which often produces long-term negative consequences for a relationship.

• 3a. A more useful subtype here is the compromiser —a person who seeks to resolve an issue by finding a quick and mutually acceptable solution. If everyone is partially satisfied, they seem to believe, no one really has to lose. Compromisers value your goals as much as they appear to value their own, and they will make concessions in an effort to reach results. However, in their efforts to end the conflict quickly, the adjustments made may fall short of full satisfaction. This type of participation in a conflict may well save time and will preserve the harmony in a relationship, but an outcome produced this way will fully satisfy no one.

4. Alliance. The last style of conflict tends to be the most effective. Some people prefer to find ways to cooperate rather than to reach a zero-sum solution, in order to keep their relationships healthy. These people may be able to manage their own emotional discomfort so as to avoid becoming defensive in the midst of an argument, and they can often muster their empathy at difficult times in order to see past such heated moments. Negotiating with unusually assertive, strategic, and moderate people like this means that everyone may have a chance to “win” simultaneously, even if the outcome is not realized quickly. With this type of solution, long-term relationships are prioritized, while momentary victories are not seen as important.

If you recognize your personal style of argument here, and you don’t particularly like what you see, you should remember that styles of conflict can change. With insight and patience, you can choose to modify your behavior patterns to keep your relationships healthy. And just as you can learn the “love language” of your partner, you can begin to better understand their “fighting style” as well: Perhaps you don’t have to take seriously the things they say when an argument is at its peak, or maybe you can allow your partner to spend a few minutes alone when a conversation runs the risk of becoming unproductive. No matter what, though, please remember that arguing with your partner is not unusual or abnormal, and always remember to ask yourself if it is really more important to be “right” than to be happy.

Benoliel, B. (n.d.) What’s your conflict management style? Retrieved from https://www.waldenu.edu/news-and-events/walden-news/2017/0530-whats-your-conflict-management-style

Chapman, G. (2015). The 5 love languages: The secret to love that lasts (Reprint ed.). Northfield.

Martin, M. S. (2021). What's your conflict style? Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brave-talk/202103/whats-your-conflict-style

Rossler, K. (n.d.). The art of arguing: The 4 argument styles. Retrieved from https://katierossler.com/the-art-of-arguing-the-4-argument-styles

Sherman, J.E. (2022, August 9). What is your argument style? Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ambigamy/202208/what-is-your-argument-style

The University of Texas. (n.d.) Understanding conflict handling styles. Retrieved from https://www.utsystem.edu/offices/human-resources/current-employees/manager-resources/employee-relations/understanding-conflict-handling-styles

Loren Soeiro, Ph.D., ABPP , is a psychologist in private practice in New York City, specializing in helping people find success, fulfillment, and peace in their relationships and their work.

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At any moment, someone’s aggravating behavior or our own bad luck can set us off on an emotional spiral that threatens to derail our entire day. Here’s how we can face our triggers with less reactivity so that we can get on with our lives.

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Language of Wars, genocides, and Conflict

WE ARE LOOKING FOR ESSAYS, REVIEWS, RESPONSES, POETRY, PROSE, AND VISUAL ART

Our engagement and  consideration of conflicts , both national and international, has undoubtedly changed in the 21st century, especially in recent years. With the aid of  media and modern technology , individuals and communities have a bigger space and opportunity to respond to  geopolitical events  which are both geographically far away and yet have never been closer.

Responses to  political conflicts, wars, and genocides,  however, must be  approached critically  together with the recognition of different roles and agents (such as international organisations, alliances or foreign governments), both current and past,  that shape the image, portrayal, and study  of these events.

In recent years, the rise of often  simplified mass media responses  (e.g. victim blaming or revisionism) to various painful historical events in human history has led to  a misuse of language  regarding such events as well as alleviation, conscious or not, of the atrocities occurring in our present and our past.

The language that is used to respond to political conflicts, acts of terrorism, wars, and crimes against humanity, however, should be challenged with the understanding that aggression of one country/ ethnicity/ religion/ group of individuals against another must be addressed appropriately with aggressor-victim dichotomy and not ambiguously.

ISSUES OF LANGUAGE AND TERMINOLOGY | COMMUNAL MEMORY AND GENERATIONAL | EXPERIENCE OF WAR CULTURAL GUILT AND VICTIM BLAMING | FRAGMENTATION OF NARRATIVES | GENOCIDE AND HUMANITARIANISM | POLITICAL DIALOGUES | RESOLUTIONS AND AFTERMATHS | INDIVIDUAL AND COMMUNAL VIOLENCE | JOURNALISM AND POPULISM DURING CONFLICT

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