band 9 model essays

IELTS Writing Samples Band 9

You recently ordered something online; when you opened the packet the product was damaged with which you were disappointed, having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. discuss both views and state your opinion., some people think that the amount of money spent on library is a waste as a new technologies are developing and replacing library functions. do you agree or disagree, some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case do you think this is a positive or a negative development, many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. others feel it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification., some people say that the main environmental problem of our times is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. others say that there are more important environmental problems. discuss both these views and give your opinion., some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. discuss both these views and give your opinion. give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience., in many countries today, women have full-time jobs. therefore, it is reasonable to share housework equally between men and women. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. write at least 250 words., in many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people., the most importan aim of science is to should be to improve people's life. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this estatement., some people believe that increasing tax on various industries will reduce pollution whereas others believe that there are better ways. discuss both views and give your opinion., some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory in high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). do you agree or disagree, some people think that paying taxes is a big enough contribution to society, while others think people have more responsibilities as a member of society than only paying taxes. discuss both views and give your opinion., in many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or a negative development, some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case do you think this is a positive or a negative development, some people say that modern innovation brings about more problems than benefits do you agree or disagree, some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subject. but others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are good at or they find the most interest. discuss both sides and give your opinion., some people say it is a waste of time to plan for future. it is more important to focus on present. do you agree or disagree, do you agree or disagree with the following statement it is more important for students to understand ideas and concepts than it is for them to learn facts.use specific reasons and examples to support your answer, 2.it is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going university. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

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Cambridge IELTS 17: Sample Band 9 Answers

Posted by David S. Wills | Sep 17, 2022 | Model Essays | 1

Cambridge recently released the 17 th instalment in their IELTS series and I wanted to give you my sample answers for four of the essays in this book. I’ll also make some comments on the questions where I think it’s important to discuss the meaning, potential problems, or anything else that might arise. These are all task 2 essays because I don’t want to break any copyright laws by posting images from those books.

Below, you can find my sample band 9 answers to the task 2 questions from Cambridge IELTS 17 .

Test 1: Taking Risks

Here’s the first task 2 question in the book:

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

First of all, I’ll say that this really reminds me of several older questions, which is not a surprise because the IELTS test makers like to recycle topics and ideas. It is most similar to this question:

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Although the words and even format of the question are totally different, it is almost the same in terms of its general meaning. Still, you always need to read very carefully and respond directly to the question rather than previous, similar questions.

Sample Band 9 Answer: Tasking Risks

People differ in their attitude towards taking risks, with some people seemingly born to be risky and others rather risk averse. This essay will look into the advantages and disadvantages of an adventurous attitude and conclude that taking some risks is a positive thing.

First of all, it should be noted that taking risks is necessary for success. History is full of such examples in all fields, from science to war and from sport to literature. Those who simply continue tradition and never try anything new are doomed to repeat the past and typically content themselves with mediocrity. However, when people try new things, they may risk failure, but they also bring about the possibility of tremendous success. Looking at literature, for example, we can see great writers like James Joyce and William Burroughs, who completely redefined what a novel could be by breaking all the rules. They could easily have wasted their time and become mired in failure, but their risks paid off and they are today considered giants in their field.

Of course, that is not to suggest that taking a risk always results in success. Naturally, for every great success there are countless failures. To continue the idea of literature, one can only begin to imagine the number of writers who attempted to do something entirely new but failed because they were misunderstood. Taking risks in everyday life can be an even bigger problem because the consequences can be more severe. Young men often hurt themselves in foolish stunts because they took a risk to impress their peers. In such cases, it would clearly have been better not to take that risk at all.

In conclusion, whether it is better to take risks or not depends entirely upon the risk. In some scenarios, it is best to take a chance and see what happens because the potential outcome could be immensely rewarding, but in many cases it is rather pointless. Still, overall it is better to take some risks than avoid them altogether.  

Notes and Language

I started this essay with a nice general statement but without being too random. I’ve tried to avoid clichéd IELTS language like “There is a hot controversy about…” This is neither true nor is it appropriate.

Although I mostly wanted to show that taking risks is a good thing, I split the essay into two body paragraphs and tried to show both sides of the issue. You don’t need to provide a balanced answer in IELTS writing task 2, but in this case I thought it was for the best. The main thing was to make sure that my position was clear throughout. This began with a clear and precise outline sentence . I also gave some interesting and appropriate examples and I stretched one theme (literature) over two paragraphs for continuity.

In terms of language, I used words like “risky and “risk averse,” which are obviously very topic specific. I did, however, have to use more vague terminology like “adventurous attitude” because I didn’t want to repeat “risk” too much. I also used phrases like “break the rules” and “attempt to do something new.” This also helps to avoid repetition.

Test 2: Smartphones

The next question is also similar to some previous ones, but because it’s 2022 it has been specifically written to include smartphones rather than computers or other types of technology :

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative trend?

This is a two-part question that includes a positive or negative question ! This might seem weird, but actually it’s become fairly common in recent years to include positive/negative questions inside a two-part question, so you should be ready to answer something like this. The key is not to go at length about the positive/negative aspect and instead squeeze it into just one paragraph.

Sample Band 9 Answer: Smartphones

It can be seen nowadays that young people, including small children, spend a lot of time on their phones. This essay will explain why and then argue that it is an overwhelmingly negative development.

To begin with, children use their phones a lot because they are enjoyable to the point of being addictive. Indeed, numerous studies have shown that phones are as addictive for children as sugar or drugs, and this makes it hard for them to moderate their behaviour. The apps on most phones are designed to appeal to people by rewarding them with dopamine and children are particularly susceptible to this. In addition, the bright images, simple games, and immersive experience make phones thoroughly appealing for young users.

This constant usage brings various problems, with perhaps the most alarming being the impact on people’s health. Using a phone is something that the human body has not yet adapted to and there are various risks. The most obvious one is neck damage. Doctors often warn that the postures people use when using their phones lead to neck strain, which can also trigger problems in the back and head. Some people worry about eyestrain, too, though this is unproven. Then, of course, there is the fact that for children almost the entirety of their entertainment comes in the form of these phones and so they no longer go outside to play games in the fresh air, getting necessary exercise and socialising. They are stuck indoors, staring at their phone and becoming overweight, fragile, and unsociable.

In conclusion, the current situation with children using their phones a lot is utterly negative. Even if there were any possible benefits, they would be grossly outweighed by the damage that these devices cause.

Again, my introduction is clear and precise. It starts by explaining the topic and then gives an explicit outline. There is nothing clichéd or confusing here. A reader would be well prepared for the next parts.

The structure is simple. One body paragraph deals with the first sentence and the next deals with the second sentence. It was a challenge to keep this simple because the questions certainly raise a lot of ideas. I could have written a thousand words on why children like smartphones so much! However, keep it short and to the point. Don’t waste time.

Important vocabulary here included “addictive” and “dopamine.” I also needed to talk about health (you can learn about health vocabulary here ), so I mentioned various issues, including “neck strain.”

Test 3: Professionals

Here’s the third writing question from Cambridge IELTS 17 :

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Interestingly, this question has also been asked in different ways over the years! I have seen it written as a problem and solution question but now it is a “ discuss both views ” one. It is also frequently shared on websites and social media with various mistakes because people saw it in a test and misremembered it. (Read about the dangers of fake questions .)

Anyway, it’s a fascinating topic that hopefully everyone has something thoughts on. I know I did. 😉

Sample Band 9 Answer: Professionals

A small number of people think that highly trained professionals should be required to work in the same country where they did their training, but most people disagree with this. This essay will also disagree, suggesting that they should be free to work where they want.

To begin with, it is understandable that people might argue in favour of professionals working in the country where they trained because in some cases that country has paid for their training. Take, for example, a doctor who received medical training at the government’s expense in a relatively poor country. If they moved to another country, perhaps in order to earn a higher salary, then the government’s investment would have been wasted.

However, there are a few problems with that viewpoint. First of all, professionals of this nature usually pay for their own education, and so if they were required to stay in that country then it would be unfair. A lot of people invest in their education purely to gain the chance of moving to another country for a better life. Then, of course, there is the argument that all people should have some freedom of movement. Particularly in the case of highly trained professionals, who can bring value to different societies, it is beneficial to have them move around the world, sharing their skills and increasing diversity. Perhaps they ought to give something back to the society in which they were trained, but they should not be restricted by any law because that would be a violation of their fundamental rights.

In conclusion, people who have important skills should be free to move to other countries if they wish. They should not have a legal obligation to stay in the nation where they earned their skills, but perhaps for the sake of decency they might consider staying a short while and giving back to that society.

You might be curious about my first line: “A small number of people think…” Why did I say that? Well, the question says “Some people” and honestly I don’t think that many people share this view, so I used my words carefully to reflect that. Remember: Don’t just paraphrase blindly ! Use your own language and ideas to express a clear and intelligent point.

I began my concession paragraph by saying “it is understandable that people might argue…” I want to show the opposing view so that I can do a better job of arguing against it. I went on to argue convincingly in favour of the opposing view.

Note: You don’t need to talk about doctors and engineers! IELTS candidates often read the question, see these examples, and think that they are the main idea. However, they are not. These are purely examples. You don’t need to mention them at all.

My language here is related to the topic of work and migration. I also tried to avoid repetition . I used some great phrases like “at the government’s expense” and “a violation of their fundamental rights.” These are descriptive and specific.

Test 4: Alternative Medicine

Finally, we come to a question about a controversial issue:

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Here, we have a question about alternative medicines vs conventional ones. This is a difficult subject to talk about and people will have different opinions on the matter, but don’t worry too much. Whether you support or oppose the use of alternative medicines, the examiner should not be prejudiced against you. Just make sure to explain your position clearly and convincingly.

Sample Band 9 Answer: Alternative Medicine

It has been claimed that more people are now using alternative medical practices rather than using proper doctors. This essay will argue that it is a dangerous development.

To begin with, there is simply no good argument for using alternative medicines. Any alternative treatment that works will be incorporated into conventional medicine, so to go outside of the mainstream is to take a pointless risk. The vast majority of alternative medical practices, no matter how they are marketed, are at best useless and at worst highly dangerous.

Using any alternative treatment has two potential outcomes. The first is that nothing will happen because most of them are in fact fake. Take acupuncture, homeopathy, or folk medicine, for example. These are simply archaic or idealistic ideas that mostly rely upon the placebo effect. In most cases, they do nothing and any genuine use that they could pose has or will be incorporated into conventional medicine through the scientific method and peer review. In such cases, a patient with an illness will not recover and will waste time in seeking real treatment. In severe cases, these fraudulent practitioners will actually harm their patients because their treatments are dangerous. These alternative medicines are unregulated and used by people who have no proper training, which means that they will not only fail to help but may even introduce new health problems.

In conclusion, the trend of people seeking alternative forms of medicine is massively problematic and puts people at serious risk of illness and death.

You will notice that there is not much balance to this essay. I have taken a very firm position here and that’s just fine. It actually makes it easier to write an essay when you have a firm belief. That’s why I started paragraph two with a strong statement: “there is simply no good argument for using alternative medicines.”

Of course, if you make a statement like this, you need to be able to back it up with explanation or evidence. I explained my position in the second paragraph and then gave more detail in the third.

Questions relating to medicine can be hard because they might require you to draw upon difficult vocabulary. Here, you can see I have done that, although not all of it is medical in nature: archaic, idealistic, placebo, fraudulent, practitioner , etc. In terms of Lexical Resource , you shouldn’t strive for difficult words, but rather aim for accuracy.

Final Thoughts

I hope that you have found these sample band 9 answers to Cambridge IELTS 17 questions useful. You should not try to copy my words or ideas, but rather view them as inspiration for your own essays. There is no perfect formula for an IELTS task 2 essay, and so you should figure out your own ways of directly addressing the question and developing your answers thoroughly.

If you found this useful, maybe you will enjoy my sample answers for Cambridge IELTS 16 and Cambridge IELTS 18 .

About The Author

David S. Wills

David S. Wills is the author of Scientologist! William S. Burroughs and the 'Weird Cult' and the founder/editor of Beatdom literary journal. He lives and works in rural Cambodia and loves to travel. He has worked as an IELTS tutor since 2010, has completed both TEFL and CELTA courses, and has a certificate from Cambridge for Teaching Writing. David has worked in many different countries, and for several years designed a writing course for the University of Worcester. In 2018, he wrote the popular IELTS handbook, Grammar for IELTS Writing and he has since written two other books about IELTS. His other IELTS website is called IELTS Teaching.

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• Band 9 IELTS Essays

Here at ielts-practice.org we have a huge collection of band 9 IELTS essay samples. Click on the links below to read our band 9 essay samples. IELTS essay topics tend to repeat. It is, therefore, imperative that you practice writing essays on topics asked in recent IELTS exams. We are adding more essays to this page, so stay tuned.

Recent IELTS writing topics (January, February and March 2024)

• Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media
• Innovation is often driven by the pursuit of profit and economic growth
• The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries
• Most modern families have both parents working and as a result children spend less time with their parents
• Eco tourism often involves visiting remote and fragile ecosystems
• Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety
• Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for people
• In many societies there is a growing emphasis on individualism
• In the future, it may be necessary for us to live on other planets
• In many countries, the number of plants and animals is declining
• Some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones
• Nowadays, there is more and more competition for getting into university
• In today’s digital era anyone with a smartphone can capture and share photographs
• Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity
• An increase in production of consumer goods results in damaging the environment
• We have witnessed that parents spend ample amount of money on children’s parties
• Archeology is partly the discovery of treasures of the past
• The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations publicly
• The demand for coaching services has grown significantly in the digital era
• Some people think that manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged goods
• Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools

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• In today’s digital era anyone with a smart phone can capture and share photographs
• People should be at least 21 years old before they are allowed to drive a car
• In many countries, formal exams are used to assess students ability and to judge the success of their education
• Some people say the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals
• Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education whereas others say this is no longer true
• Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings
• Completing university education is thought to be the best way to get a good job
• Some people believe that the typical teaching situation of a teacher and students in the class will not exist by 2050
• Some people say that ebooks and modern technology will totally replace traditional newspapers and magazines Environmental damage is the problem of most countries
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7 IELTS Essay Samples of Band 9 Students

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Is it even possible to write a Band 9 essay in IELTS?

Well, it is certainly possible. In fact, not only have I scored a band 9 in writing myself, I have also helped several of my students score band 9 in writing too. If you want to learn the art and science behind scoring an IELTS writing Band 9 (or if you just want to improve your score by a few bands), read on.

Every day we receive 100's of IELTS essays for correction from our students. Our experienced IELTS tutors go over every single word of the essay and mark them based on the criteria specified in the IELTS Band Score Descriptors.

Since a lot of IELTS students struggle in the writing section, we thought we would list out the IELTS Band 9 essay samples that we have seen from our IELTS Twenty20 Course students so far. An important thing to note is that the students who wrote these essays went through several feedback rounds with other essay topics where they perfected the art of writing a good IELTS Task 2 essay. So don't get intimidated if you think you cannot write such essays. Everyone struggles with it and it takes time to improve.

But, before we look at the IELTS Band 9 essay samples, let's first understand how to write the perfect IELTS essay.

How to write an IELTS Band 9 essay?

In IELTS Writing Task 2, you are given brief details of an opinion, an argument or a problem, and have to produce an extended piece of discursive writing (an essay) in response.

You need to write at least 250 words and should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Let's look at a step by step process on how to write a great writing task 2 essay every time ... no matter what the topic.

What are the different types of IELTS essays?

Understand the IELTS writing task 2 marking criteria

When IELTS examiners mark your essays they refer to the IELTS writing band descriptors . Here's what the band descriptors mean in plain English.

Identify the main topic of the essay

• If you incorrectly identify the main idea then you  CANNOT  score above Band 4.
• If you present a main idea that is not sufficiently developed and supported by examples then you  CANNOT  score above Band 6.

Identify all parts of the task

• If you address only some parts of the task and not others then you  CANNOT  score above Band 5.
• Even if you identify all parts of the task correctly but fail to cover each of them fully you  WILL NOT   be able to score above Band 6.

Present a position/opinion

• If you do not express a clear position then you  CANNOT  score above Band 5.
• If you do not write a conclusion at the end you  CANNOT  score above Band 5.
• If your conclusion is unclear or repetitive then you  CANNOT  score above Band 6.

In other words, if you want to score Band 7+, you need to consistently, accurately and appropriately demonstrate the use of all 4 points highlighted above.

Did you think that was all ... nope there's more ...

Even if you do all of the above there is still a chance that you may not be able to score above Band 7. In order to really ensure Band 7+ you need to master  the 4 C’s of Essay Writing .

The 4 C's of Essay Writing

Cohesion  - refers to words and phrases that help link ideas together.For example:

• Because of this ....
• It is clear that ...
• It can be seen ... etc.

Conciseness  - Long sentences do not mean more marks. Run-on sentences will often cause you to lose marks in this area. There are three sentence structures you should be using:

• Simple sentence  - Contains a subject and a verb and expresses a complete thought. For Example - The teacher returned the homework.
• Complex sentences  -  Has an independent clause (simple sentence) joined by one or more dependent clauses (cannot stand alone as a sentence) For Example - The teacher returned the homework after she noticed the error.
• Compound sentences  - Two simple sentences joined by a coordinator (ex. for, and, or, yet, so). For Example - The teacher returned the homework so everyone got to go home early.

Coherence  - How easy is your essay to understand? In order to improve your coherence, proper grammar is a must. You are not there while the essay is being marked, so your ideas need to be clear and easy to understand. Using the cohesive phrases mentioned earlier, can improve the coherence of your essay.

Composition  - The structure of your essay (introduction paragraph, 2-3 body paragraphs, and a conclusion paragraph). A good introduction includes a little background on the topic, a thesis statement, and a preview of the 2-3 main points of your essay. Each body paragraph should include a topic sentence illustrating your point, an example of your point and how it ties into your topic sentence, as well as a concluding sentence that ties this point into your thesis.

Conclusions should reiterate your two or three main ideas from your body paragraphs an restate your thesis again using different words than before. To end your conclusion, you should give a prediction or recommendation on the essay topic.

Note: Remember a proper paragraph has at least 3-4 sentences. Each paragraph should revolve around a main idea, and when you start a new idea, you should start a new paragraph.

How to identify the main topic and all parts of the IELTS essay?

This tutorial will teach you the key steps to identify the main topic and all parts of the IELTS Writing Task 2 question.

Follow the 3 steps mentioned in the video and you will never go wrong.

How to brainstorm and organise your ideas for IELTS writing task 2?

Once you have identified the topic and question parts for your writing task, the next step is to brainstorm ideas that should become part of your essay. In order to get a good band score it is not enough to just create a list of ideas - you need to extend and explain each of those ideas in detail. Lets look at our example from before:

This tutorial will teach you how to brainstorm and extend your ideas for IELTS Writing Task 2 question.

Tips for writing an IELTS band 9 essay

Here's a check list for Writing Task 2. Follow this check list and you are guaranteed to score Band 7+ in IELTS Writing.

• First off, read & understand the topic of the essay for Writing Task 2.
• Identify all the key parts of the question.
• Brainstorm and organise your ideas to ensure that each of your ideas is fully explained and well supported with examples.
• If the question asks for your opinion, make sure you state it clearly and you don’t contradict that view throughout the rest of the essay.
• Learn the structure of an essay: Introduction , body paragraphs, conclusion
• Do not copy the question word for word for your introduction or else those words will be deducted from your total word count. Instead always paraphrase the question in your own words.
• You MUST write a conclusion/overview at the end. Don’t add new information in your conclusion. Instead, rephrase your key points, and give a strong ending sentence that ties everything together.
• Always write in a formal tone and use it consistently throughout the essay.
• Do not use bullet points or short notes.
• Use a wide range of grammatical structures and vocabulary.
• Remember to follow the 4 C's of essay writing.
• Practice and learn synonyms so your writing has a range of vocabulary and does not become repetitive.
• Write at least 250 words. Anything less, you will lose marks.Ideally the essay should be about 250-280 words.
• Write neatly, as the person who is marking your essay should be able to easily read and understand what you have written.
• Do Task 2 first, as it is worth twice as much as Task 1, so priority should be placed here.

Practice makes perfect. Write as many practice essays as you can, and have them marked by an English teacher for mistakes.

• Practice timing yourself at home, and stick to the allotted time for each section. During the real test, bring a watch and manage your time carefully.
• Check your writing. If you finish with extra time, look over your essay for any spelling, grammar, or other mistakes you might find.

Popular Topics for Writing Task 2

Topics for IELTS writing task 2 are usually related to some issue or problem that is currently affecting society and you need to discuss it. In recent IELTS exams, topics have mostly dealt with:

• Environment
• Animal rights
• The Internet

Frequently asked questions about IELTS Writing Task 2

Q: Will I lose marks if I write too many words (400-500) in my essay? 

A: There is no penalty for writing more than 250 words for writing task 2. However, there are also no extra marks for writing more. In fact, the more you write, the more you may end up making spelling or grammar mistakes. It is much better to write around 280 words within 35 minutes and spend the last 5 minutes reviewing your work for mistakes.

Q: Will I lose marks if my handwriting is very poor? 

A: In IELTS, handwriting does not affect your scores directly. The scoring rubric does not have any points for handwriting. However, it affects your score indirectly. i.e if your handwriting is illegible, the examiner will think that you have misspelled a word and will mark you lower on lexical resources. The examiner will not give you the benefit of doubt if she is not sure about the words you have written.

Moreover, handwriting also affects the overall impression on the examiner. Remember that IELTS examiners are humans and like all humans they form their first impressions looking at your handwriting. The clearer your work, the better first impression you will make on the examiner.

Click here for recent IELTS exam topics and questions from all over the world

Finally, here are the 7 examples of band 9 essays.

IELTS Writing Sample Essay 1 -Fresh water demand causes and measures

IELTS Writing Sample Essay 2 - Forests are the lungs of the earth

IELTS Writing Sample Essay 3 - Job and money

IELTS Writing Sample Essay 4 - Aim of University Education

IELTS Writing Sample Essay 5 - International Tourism

IELTS Writing Sample Essay 6 - Image is a more powerful way of Communicating

IELTS Writing Sample Essay 7 - Work or travel between finishing high school and starting university

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IELTS Model Essay 2020

A band score 9 model essay for IELTS writing task 2. The essay question below was reported in the IELTS test in February 2020.

IELTS Essay Question 2020

Some people think that mobile phones are harmful for children, while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

IELTS Essay Model Answer 2020

Note: The essay below is longer than most of you will aim for. It’s fine for a band 9 candidate. For others, try to aim for between 270 and 290 words. Aim for accuracy and quality rather than length.

People hold different views as to whether mobile phones are detrimental to children or not. In my opinion, this depends very much on how the phones are used and how that use is supervised as to whether they are harmful for children or not.

On the one hand, some people think children can be harmed by using mobile phones mainly because the games and apps found on phones, which are mostly not educational, can easily become addictive. This results in children engaging less in healthy physical activities and spending less time on homework, both of which can have dire consequences in the long run. Furthermore, using mobile phones exposes children to unmonitored social media platforms where predators might be lurking in wait by taking advantage of the anonymity offered online.

On the other hand, mobile phones can actually protect children by allowing parents to track their geographical location and contact them immediately if necessary. Never before have parents been able to know the exact whereabouts of their child minute by minute. In addition, the instant communication provides essential security for children in times of crisis. Lastly, mobile phones do allow access to educational apps specifically created for children which, if used wisely, can further their education.

Finally, I believe that if parents monitor how the smart phone is being used by their child, it can be beneficial for a child’s development. By blocking certain social media sites, parents can be sure their child is safe whilst being online. Moreover, by setting time limits on how long their child can use the phone means that it will not interfere with a child’s educational development and will avoid any form of addiction.

In conclusion, children are only at risk when using a mobile phone if they are not being supervised and are not given strict guidelines to follow which are set by their parents.

Comments: This essay presents a clear opinion which is fully explained. Both sides have been clearly discussed. Ideas are extended and supporting points relevant. Ideas are organised logical and a good range of linking words have been used. Grammar is both complex and accurate. Vocabulary is topic related and less common items are used.

See more model essays and lessons , click here: Writing Task 2 Answers, Lessons & Tips.

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he Liz, I have a question, shouldn’t an introduction be like hook + definitions, history + thesis ? please answer my question as soon as you can because I’m really confused and my test is in about a week.

This is all explained in this free video lesson: https://ieltsliz.com/ielts-writing-task-2-how-to-write-an-introduction/ . Don’t confuse an academic essay with an IELTS essay – they are not the same. There are specific requirements for IELTS which do not follow a typical uni essay. Also see all my free lessons and tips for writing task 2: https://ieltsliz.com/ielts-writing-task-2/

Hi Liz, I’m going to try the Ielts test. I have to achieve a score between 5-6,5. Can I write over 160 words in writing task 1? Thanks a lot!!

You should write over 160 words. The word count usually falls between 170 and 190 words. Try to avoid going over 200 in task 1.

Hello Liz, I want to purchase your e-book but I’m late. Is there any way to get it now?

Thank’s

MY online store is always open: https://elizabethferguson.podia.com/

Hi Liz! Thanks for sharing all the necessary tips needed. I really appreciate. Pls if I may ask, how do I get your advance training?

You can find it in my online store: https://elizabethferguson.podia.com/

Hi Liz! Thank you for this model answer! I believe that in the third paragraph there is a typo with the word “while”. …”parents can be sure their child is safe while being online”

You can use while or whilst in that sentence. Both are fine to use. While is more commonly used.

Is it not necessary to write an example in body paragraphs? My teacher said thay i have to include an example or evidence in body paragraphs. Can you please clarify my doubt

Examples are used when relevant. Also examples do not need to start with “for example” or “for instances” – there are many ways to illustrate a point as I have done in my body paragraphs.

Thank you somuch for your reply Liz. This article really helps me a lot.. Once again thank you for your great job..

Thanks Liz for your great ideas and initiatives which show us the right track of IELTS.

Hi Liz. Grateful for your tips and actual work. Gonna appear in ielts acedemic next month, this site is marvelous. Love and respect from Pakistan.

Dear Madam, Love and respect from Bangladesh. Your website is highly followed by IELTS taker here. May Almighty makes you do more help to us.

Greetings Bangladesh 🙂

Today is my exam and I have studied only by seeing your website and videos… Thanks a tonne for being so informative.

Lots of love from Dubai

Good luck! Keep your eye on the clock for reading and writing – manage your time appropriately 🙂

You are absolutely a legend. Thank you

You’re welcome 🙂

Thank you very much for this model! I want to ask if two body paragraphs will be sufficient for a band 8 response? This is considering that all other criteria are met and ideas are clearly expressed and developed. Any guidance is much appreciated.

As long as you have either two or three body paragraphs, you’ll be fine. More than that or less will negatively affect your score.

Hello Liz, I call you the professor of professsors without doubt as your videos are just too exceptional. Please I need clarification in where you said ” As long as you have either two or three body paragraphs that one will be fine; and you concluded that more than that or less will negatively affect one’s score. Does this apply to both writing tasks? If yes, does that mean that in both task 1 and 2 one’s paragraph should not exceed two or three paragraphs? What about if one has more facts to render in the course of writing?

Don’t mix task 1 and task 2. Task 2 is an essay and task 1 is a report. They are very different pieces of writing. In a short report (task 1), paragraphs do not need to be balanced in terms of length, there should never be repetition of information (ie no concluding summary of points previously made) and the method of writing is quite formulaic. For task 2, the body paragraphs must be equal length (all main points equally and sufficiently developed). The conclusion in task 2 will repeat the main points as a summary. Task 2 will have either two or three body paragraphs. If you have only one, you are penalised for not dividing information into paragraphs. If you have more than three body paragraphs, you won’t be able to sufficiently develop them for a high score. You don’t get a higher score because you had four main points – but you do get a higher score for developing two or three main points well. In task 1, you might have three or four paragraphs – it depends on the information you have been given. See all my model answers on the main pages of this site to see the variations.

Can’t even thank you enough for all these tips and actual work…you are awesome.Thank you.

I only wish I met you earlier. My test is tomorrow….

Good luck!!

Hi Liz, Great essay. It deserved a 9.0! I am preparing for my IELTS next week (the computer-based test) and I fell in love with your website. It is extremely organized and detail-oriented. Well done!

I do have a doubt, though, about the way the time is divided between Task 1 and Task 2 and I did not manage to find any comments on that.

Could you, please, help me out on this one? By the time we are shown the Writing section (Task 1), which is recommended for us to spend up to 20 min on it, can we also see the Task 2 essay topic (40 min)? I mean, could we choose to start writing the Task 2 before, if we wanted to?

Thanks in advance!

When the writing test starts, you will get the full writing test. That means both tasks. It is your choice which one you do first and it is your choice how long you spend on each one. You have one hour to manage as you wish. Glad you are enjoying my site 🙂 See this page for more details about IELTS: https://ieltsliz.com/ielts-help-faq/

Thanks Liz for such a valuable model essay . Your website contains amazing tips and info May God bless you😘

Thanks a lot for your insightful teaching.

Ma’am I have problems in writing task 2. Whenever I sat down for practicevi don’t know how to begin with. So I look out for sample essay so that I can write better. But problem is that I first read sample essay and then write it. After some time I don’t know what and how to write further so I again refer to essay frequently. Finally I end up writing essay by consuming more than 40 minutes.

I suggest you get my Advanced Lessons which will help you understand in easy steps how to write a high band score essay.

Thank you kindly for this post. You are such a blessing to all of us. Also, I have purchased your e-book for writing test 2 last weekend and it is more than excellent. Hi everyone out there preparing for academic ielts – this e-book will help you a lot! I highly recommend that you look into it.

Thanks for your message. I’m really pleased you found the e-book useful 🙂

Thank you very much for your excellent videos and clear exercises. I am also a teacher and my students and I have found your lessons and tips really helpful. Once again, thanks a lot.

Thanks. I’m so pleased your students are benefiting from my website 🙂

Thanks a lot.

Thanks Liz, for presenting a write-up with such clarity in the concept of both view/opinion essay. I wanted to ask, is it always necessary to write a ‘conclusion’, after explaining both sides opinion and a separate personal opinion as in the given essay. And second question, does the conclusion need to match the personal opinion?

If you fail to give a conclusion, you will automatically get band 5 for Task Response. It is vital to have a conclusion. See this video lesson: https://ieltsliz.com/ielts-writing-task-2-last-5-mins/

Thank you lovely you are able to get ready for next level

Hi Liz, I want to ask that is it necessary to make 3rd paragraph of opinion or it’s okay to give your opinion in introduction or conclusion part?

Which one is the best in both of them?

Thanking you in advance.

If your opinion does not fully agree with one or the other side, you will need to explain it in a separate body paragraph. If your opinion agrees with one of the sides, you can incorporate it with that side.

Mam, Your guidance has helped thousands of students including me. I wish to get my writing tasks(Academic) assessed by you, but your website does not mention any link for paid/unpaid services. I got 6.5 in writing and wish to improve. Kindly help. Thanks

I don’t offer marking, but I do have Advanced Writing Task 2 lessons which will teach you how to write a high band score essay. You ought to get those. You will soon learn what you are doing wrong. They are at 50% discount for the next few days. Click here: https://elizabethferguson.podia.com/

Got a doubt, please help! The thesis statement seems a tad strong. I say this because you used “in my opinion”; I feel that it’s too early in the essay to give an opinion. I do understand that a thesis should detail what you are going to do in the essay, but is it ok to give your opinion outright. Your thoughts…

Of course you should give your opinion directly. You introduction your opinion in the introduction, explain it in the body paragraphs and then conclude it.

A simple but perfect essay, I’ve learnt a lot from this model essay. Keep it up Liz, we love you dearly.

I’m so glad it has helped. You hit the nail on the head – it’s simple. This means the ideas are easy to understand and the layout is logical and straight forward. This is the sign of a high band score essay. The other aspect is that the language is varied and complex – another sign of a high band score essay.

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Band 9 sample essay – technology

Home  »  IELTS BAND 9 ESSAYS  »  Band 9 sample essay – technology

Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Experts throughout both the developing and developed world have debated whether the advent of sophisticated modern technology  such as mobile phones, laptops and iPad have helped to enhance and improve people's social lives or whether the opposite has become the case.

Personally, I strongly advocate the former view. This essay will discuss both sides using examples from the UK government and Oxford University to demonstrate points and prove arguments.

On the one hand there is ample, powerful, almost daily evidence that such technology can be detrimental especially to the younger generation who are more easily affected by it’s addictive nature  and which can result in people feeling more isolated from the society .

The central reason behind this is twofold, firstly, the invention of online social media sites and apps, such as Twitter and Facebook have reduced crucial face-to-face interactions dramatically . Through use of these appealing and attractive mediums, people feel in touch and connected yet lack key social skills and the ability to communicate.

Secondly, dependence on such devices is built up frighteningly easily which may have a damaging effect on mental health and encourage a sedentary lifestyle . For example, recent scientific research by the UK government demonstrated that 90% of people in their 30s spend over 20 hours per week on Messenger and similar applications to chat with their friends instead of meeting up and spending quality time together  or doing sport. As a result, it is conclusively clear that these technology advancements have decreased and diminished our real life interactions.

On the other hand, although there are significant downsides to technological developments, its’ multifold advantages cannot be denied. This is largely because the popularity of technology such as cellphones allows people to connect freely and easily with no geographical barriers .

People are able to share any type of news, information, photos and opinions with their loved ones whenever and wherever they want therefore keeping a feeling of proximity and closeness. For example, an extensive study by Oxford University illustrated that people who work, or study abroad and use applications like Facetime and WhatsApp to chat with their families, are less likely to experience loneliness and feel out of the loop than those who do not.

Consistent with this line of thinking is that businessmen are also undoubtedly able to benefit from these advances by holding virtual real -time meetings using Skype which may increase the chance of closing business deals without the need to fly.

From the arguments and examples given I firmly believe that overall communication and mans’ sociability has been advanced enormously due to huge the huge technological progress of the past twenty years and despite some potentially serious health implications which governments should not fail to address, it is predicted that its popularity will continue to flourish in the future.

Here are some of the collocations used in this essay which you may find useful to!

• sophisticated modern technology
• enhance and improve people's social lives
• addictive nature
• feel out of the loop
• isolated from society
• reduce crucial face-to-face interactions dramatically
• a damaging effect on mental health
• encourage a sedentary lifestyle
• spend quality time together
• connect freely and easily with no geographical barriers
• proximity and closeness
• its less likely to experience loneliness
• popularity will continue to flourish

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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1: Line Graph with Model Answer (Band 9)

On IELTS test day, you may encounter line graphs in the Academic Writing Task 1 section. To help you understand what components make up a good response to a line graph question, let’s take a look at a model band 9 essay .

To see why this essay is band 9, see our scorer commentary after the model essay below, and check out the official IELTS rubric for Task 1 (PDF) .

This particular prompt is a line graph. Your approach to this graph should be the same as your approach to any other Task 1 infographic Take a look at the information and think carefully. What is the best way to summarize the way the information is structured and the main points? From there, how can you best compare the most relevant pieces of information? Finally, how should you structure that summary and comparison? For more advice on how to approach this, see our article on IELTS Academic Task 1 paragraph structure , as well as our main page for IELTS sample questions and practice resources .

Try to do this prompt yourself. Then check out our band 9 model essay below the prompt and compare it to your own work to see how you did.

Model IELTS Academic Writing Task 1 Prompt: Line Graph

The chart below gives information about population growth in three major Australian cities from 1992 to 2016.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Model Essay

This line graph shows the change in population for the cities of Melbourne, Sydney, and Brisbane from 1992 to 2017.

While all cities saw a net increase in annual population growth by 2011, the most dramatic increases happened between 2007 and 2010. In spite of this overall trend, there were a number of rises and falls in growth, with all cities showing a decrease in growth in 2011.

Although it started out with the least annual growth, Melbourne’s growth accelerated the most overall, starting with only a roughly 23k increase in people in 1992, but gaining around 110,000 people in 2017. Brisbane started out with nearly as little growth as Melbourne, but had a lower net gain, rising from slightly over 23k growth in 1992 to a gain of merely 50,000 by 2017. Sydney started out with the highest growth rate at 30,000 in a year, but ended with 105,000 annual growth by the end of the period, just behind Melbourne.

Why does this essay have a band 9 score?

All of Magoosh’s model IELTS Academic Writing Task 1 essays are meant to be band 9. But this model essay is special. Here, we’re going to give you a detailed explanation as to why this is a band 9 essay! Our scoring rationale is based on the band 9 category descriptors in the official rubric for Writing Task 1 .

Task achievement

Per the instructions, this essay summarizes the information by identifying the main features in paragraph one, reporting the general content of the main features in paragraph two, and making relevant comparisons between the cities in the graph in paragraph three. This matches the band 9 descriptor “fully satisfies all the requirements of the task.

The essay organizes its paragraphs clearly, identifying the characteristics of the graph in the first paragraph, reporting the main features in the second, and making comparisons in the third. Each paragraph’s ideas are connected with appropriate linking words, such as “while,” “in spite of,” “although,” and so on. This matches with “clearly presents a fully developed response” in the band 9 task achievement section.

Coherence and cohesion

Coherence and cohesion are tied closely to the points I mentioned above in task achievement. This essay organizes similar ideas closely together in paragraphs without any distracting less relevant details and uses natural-sounding transitions. In doing this, the essay “uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention” and “skillfully manages paragraphing.”

Lexical resource

While this essay does repeat sum specialized terms related to the graph, such as “annual,” it uses a variety of language to describe the same thing when possible. As one example, when describing the beginning point on the graph for each of the three cities in the final paragraph, the essay uses the terms “started out,” “began,” and “initially had.” The means that the essay “uses a wide range of vocabulary,” per level 9 of the rubric.

Not only are the words varied, but they are also very suited to the context and meaning. For instance, sophisticated phrasing such as “net increase” and “the most dramatic increases” appear in paragraph 1. Overly wordy terms such as “the total increase for each year combined” are avoided for the most part. So are slightly awkward-sounding phrases like “the very shocking increases.”

Moreover, the mistakes in word use that do appear in the essay are minor. “Amounts of people” in the first paragraph is overly simple and slightly awkward, but the essay uses the much better term “population” after that initial slip. Similarly, the use of the term “trending” when “trends” would be a more commonly used word with more accurate meaning, is a very minor word form error.

Ultimately, this links to the rubric’s description of “very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features,” where “rare minor errors occur only as “slips.”

Grammatical range and accuracy

This essay shows a level of grammar variety that’s comparable to its variety of vocabulary. The first paragraph consists of a sentence with a relatively simple structure, but with a sophisticated prepositional phrase modifying the noun “change.” The paragraphs that follow have compound sentences (the first sentence of paragraph 2), and the use of a variety of modifying phrases (ex: “with all cities…”, “rising from slightly…”).

There is a minor error in parallel structure in the first sentence of the second paragraph, with a shift from present participle “starting” to past tense “gained.” Together, these aspects of grammar in the essay satisfy the level 9 rubric descriptor “uses a wide range of structures with full flexibility and accuracy; rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips’.”

More Practice IELTS Academic Writing Task 1 Sample Questions and Model Essays

• IELTS Academic Writing Task 1: Process Diagram with Model Answer
• IELTS Academic Writing Task 1: Bar Chart With Model Answer
• IELTS Academic Writing Task 1: Map With Model Answer
• IELTS Academic Writing Task 1: Pie Chart with Model Answer
• IELTS Academic Writing Task 1: Comparing two Graphics with Model Answer

David is a Test Prep Expert for Magoosh TOEFL and IELTS. Additionally, he’s helped students with TOEIC, PET, FCE, BULATS, Eiken, SAT, ACT, GRE, and GMAT. David has a BS from the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire and an MA from the University of Wisconsin-River Falls. His work at Magoosh has been cited in many scholarly articles , his Master’s Thesis is featured on the Reading with Pictures website, and he’s presented at the WITESOL (link to PDF) and NAFSA conferences. David has taught K-12 ESL in South Korea as well as undergraduate English and MBA-level business English at American universities. He has also trained English teachers in America, Italy, and Peru. Come join David and the Magoosh team on Youtube , Facebook , and Instagram , or connect with him via LinkedIn !

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6 responses to “IELTS Academic Writing Task 1: Line Graph with Model Answer (Band 9)”

the numbers you wrote in the essay do not tally with the diagram

Thanks for writing! The essay uses the year 2017 because the graph seems to go beyond 2016. It also uses estimation, which will be necessary in some cases, like this, where the graph does not provide exact numbers and must be interpreted/estimated.

Hope this helps! 😀

“”While all cities saw a net increase in annual population growth by 2011, and the most dramatic increases happened between 2007 and 2010. “”

Wonderful train wreck of a sentence there to start your 2nd paragraph. Don’t you guys proofread your posts?

The key features highlighted in the overview are not even mentioned in the BPs.

We get starting and ending points in the BPs with no description of the middle. This is called “mechanical” reporting and closer to a 5 than a 9.

Thanks for pointing out the typo “and” to us–we really appreciate it! I’ll get that fixed up right away!

Note that we go through the scoring towards the end of this article, and we still stand by that.

Thank you! 😀

How this is a band 9 report if there is no Overview paragraph ?

The first paragraph in this essay is “This line graph shows the change in population for the cities of Melbourne, Sydney, and Brisbane from 1992 to 2017.” While this is only one sentence, it does clearly and accurately summarize the information by identifying the main features, which is what the Task asks students to do.

Happy studying! 🙂

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How to Write IELTS Essays to Score Band 9!

Planning to go study or work abroad? Aiming for excellent scores in your IELTS writing? Do you wish to get a band 9 score? Say no more because this is the article for you! Please go through this article to find writing tips, and applicants must get essay samples, which will help you get a band 9 in your IELTS essay. Taking the IELTS test is mandatory for studying or employment abroad, therefore it is essential that applicants get excellent scores in the writing section of the test.

Achieving a score of band 9 in the IELTS Writing requires a mastery of language and also knowledge of the assessment criteria and good writing strategies for the exam. Whether you are a beginner or an experienced applicant, going through this article will help you in turning your essay-writing skills from good to great!

Table of Content

IELTS Writing Section

1. writing – academic, 2. writing – general training.

• IELTS Writing task 2: Essay Writing – Important tips for Band 9 score

Step 1: Understand the question/task

Step 2: structure your ideas, step 3: start with a captivating introduction, step 4: write focused paragraphs, step 5: display good vocabulary and language skills, step 6: conclude properly:, step 7: edit and revise your essay:, step 8: avoid being redundant:, step 9: more is not always the best, step 10: diligently practice time management, step 11: seek help from experienced tutors and high-quality prep materials, sample essays for ielts to achieve a band score of 9, sample 1: discussion essay, sample 2: problems and solutions essay, sample 3: advantages and disadvantages essay, how to write ielts essays- faqs, can we use formal idioms in ielts writing, what are 4 types of ielts essay, how to identify essay type, what is important in ielts writing, what is not allowed in ielts writing.

The most crucial part of test preparation for IELTS includes the writing section. The duration of test is 60 minutes and the writing section includes two parts- Academic and General Training, both of which have two tasks each. All of them are explained below for a better understanding of the candidates:

The Academic section of the Writing test includes two tasks, each covering topics of general relevance and suitability for individuals enrolling for undergraduate or postgraduate studies, or those seeking professional employment.

The General Training section of the Writing test also includes two tasks that focus on topics of general interest, which were made to assess candidates’ ability to communicate properly in common real-life situations.

IELTS Writing Task 2: Essay Writing – Important tips for Band 9 score

Given below is a step-by-step guide to the IELTS Essay writing task:

• Grasp the keyword in the question to ensure a high score in essay writing.
• Carefully read and comprehend the question before answering. Identify the type of essay they expect you to write.
• Take note of any specific instructions like word limits, or key points to address.
• Do not immediately start writing after reading the question and spend a few minutes generating ideas related to the question.
• Clearly structure the outline of your essay in your mind which should include an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
• Decide on your main focus points for each paragraph and organize your ideas logically.
• A captivating opening that grabs the reader’s attention is always the best way to start your essay.
• Always provide some context to your topic in the introduction.
• The introduction should clearly state the main focus of your essay, which will be followed throughout in the your essay.
• Start each paragraph with a sentence that focuses on the primary concept of the essay.
• Support your ideas with relevant examples, facts, or evidence.
• Make sure that the transitions between paragraphs are smooth and comprehensive.
• Make sure to use an extensive range of vocabulary and grammatical structures.
• Express your ideas precisely and accurately.
• Use proverbs and phrases, if you can in relation to the topic.
• Provide a concise summary of the key points focused in the whole essay.
• Give a proper closing statement.
• Leave the reader with a lasting impression or a thought-provoking question.
• Allot some time in the end to re-read your essay to make sure there are no grammatical errors or spelling mistakes.
• Make necessary revisions to improve overall quality of your essay.
• Make sure your paragraphs are coherent and comprehensive.
• Make sure your answers are not repetitive.
• Avoid writing irrelevant information and unnecessarily repeating something. It will only make your writing too long and distract the examiner.
• The idea that lengthy essays will get you more marks is not always true.
• Ensure that you write approx. 300 words in task 2 as reading long answers can be frustrating for the examiner.
• Writing lengthy essays will also leave you with less time to revise.
• Make sure you have appropriate amount of time for each task.
• Practice writing essays within the given time limit to develop speed and efficiency.
• Keep track of your progress and adjust your writing speed accordingly.
• Share your essays with a teacher or experienced tutors for feedback.
• Identify areas that need improvement and work on enhancing those skills.
• Practice writing essays regularly to refine your technique.

Follow these guidelines to practice your essay writing skills and boost your confidence!

Some sample essays are given below in order to help the candidates enhance their writing skills:

Related Articles English Essay Writing Tips, Examples, Format IELTS Academic Test Experience IELTS Exam Pattern 2024: Section-wise IELTS Exam Paper Pattern, Question Types IELTS Exam Syllabus 2024 (Section-Wise): Listening, Reading, Writing & Speaking

Writing is an important aspect of the IELTS exam. Getting excellent scores in essay writing will definitely improve the prospects of clearing the exam for the applicants. A good understanding of the English language and a proper grasp of grammar along with the knowledge of how the writing will be assessed in the exam are the key to scoring band 9 in essay writing. Diligently practicing with a timer, and seeking feedback from experienced tutor will greatly improve one writing skills and help boost their confidence, which are important for achieving excellent scores in essay writing.

Only use idioms when it is appropriate. Writing Task 1 Academic, Writing Task 2 and formal letters are not appropriate as they require a formal tone. Don’t overuse idioms in the Speaking test. Don’t use idioms you don’t understand.

Some of the essay types seen in IELTS exams are- 1. Opinion essays (Agree or Disagree) 2. Advantages and Disadvantages essays. 3. Discussion (Discuss Both Views) essays. 4. Problem and Solution essays

Argumentative and expository essays are focused on conveying information and making clear points, while narrative and descriptive essays are about exercising creativity and writing in an interesting way.

On all writing tasks, paragraphing is important. You will really limit your score if you don’t use paragraphs or don’t use them well. So, make sure when you are preparing for the exam , you must review and practice proper paragraphs. A few key ideas here are topic sentences, supporting ideas, and staying on topic.

Avoid using contractions in your sentences. Example, can’t, don’t, it’s etc. Slang words and colloquialisms should be avoided in the writing tasks. Do not use the same words repeatedly.

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How to write a Band 9 IELTS essay (and how not to)

By Fiona on March 15, 2021

What is an IELTS Band 9 Model Essay? Find out what will make your writing stand out with my 9 tips.

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Reader Interactions

September 4, 2022 at 4:46 pm

Thank you for providing the sample to this essay, I am a bit confused though as to why this is a band 9 for as I read in another blogpost, you had mentioned that one should stay away from using the 3-part template ‘essay option’ from this post. https://ieltsetc.com/2020/05/ielts-writing-task-2-how-to-write-an-introduction/

September 5, 2022 at 8:24 am

If you compare the Band 9 model with the ‘template’ introduction that I advise against, what differences can you see?

Question: Some people believe that charities should help people in need no matter where those people are in the world. Others feel that these organizations should only serve the people living in the country where they are based. Discuss both sides and give your own view.

Band 9: The distribution of charity is often a matter of controversy. Many argue in favour of cutting overseas aid budgets, claiming that the money is required to cover expenditure at home. However, opponents of such a policy think it is immoral to deprive poor and needy people of necessary financial support. This essay will consider both opinions and conclude that charity should be shared among all deserving causes.

Template Charity is a controversial topic. Many people express their opinion that charitable groups should help underprivileged people beyond national boundaries, whereas others put forward the view that they ought to help only those who live in their base country. This essay will discuss both points of view.

Best wishes Fiona

February 5, 2022 at 1:03 pm

Hii Fiona Thank you so much for sharing the guidelines to score band 9. This essay will consider both opinions and conclude that charity should be shared among all deserving causes. I would like to know that is it a correct way to write the mentioned statement in the introduction? Waiting for your valuable comment.

September 5, 2022 at 8:25 am

Sorry I missed your comment. Yes – that’s a great way to state your opinion clearly in the introduction. Well done!

November 10, 2021 at 4:55 pm

Do you think that it is possible to get band 9 going a little bit off-topic? And would the introduction below be off-topic for an essay about countryside vs city for children growing up (talking about advantages and disadvantages)?

In my opinion, children are not necessary to grow up in the city or the countryside for a comfortable life, the main thing is parents who could take care him all of his life and will always be near. Moreover, a life in the city is almost not different from the village. In other words, everyone can be successful and grow up a smart individual person.

November 12, 2021 at 11:23 am

Hi Iolanta Many thanks for your question. It depends on many things – how ‘off topic’ you went, whether the examiner considers it to be ‘off topic’ and whether the language is so clearly a Band 9 that it compensates for anything which may be considered slightly ‘off topic’.

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IELTS Report Samples of Band 9

• IELTS Reports- Band 9 , IELTS Writing Samples

Here you can find IELTS Report samples of Band 9, written by a native English speaker and a former IELTS examiner. Robert Nicholson is the co-author of ‘High Scorer’s Choice’ IELTS Practice Tests book series, created in collaboration with Simone Braverman, the founder of this website.

New reports are being added weekly. Last updated: September 15, 2022

IELTS Band 9 sample report 1

IELTS Band 9 sample report 2

IELTS Band 9 sample report 3

IELTS Band 9 sample report 4

IELTS Band 9 sample report 5

IELTS Band 9 sample report 6

IELTS Band 9 sample report 7

IELTS Band 9 sample report 8

IELTS Band 9 sample report 9

IELTS Band 9 sample report 10

IELTS Band 9 sample report 11

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IELTS Band 9 sample report 17

IELTS Band 9 sample report 18

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• IELTS Essay Samples of Band 9 Last updated: May 3, 2023 Here you can find IELTS...
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• IELTS Report, topic: Pie charts of greenhouse gas emissions (from IELTS High Scorer’s Choice series, Academic Set 4) This is a model response to a Writing Task 1...
• IELTS Report, topic: Bar chart of average rainfall by month (from IELTS High Scorer’s Choice series, Academic Set 1) This is a model response to a Writing Task 1...
• IELTS Report, topic: Bar chart describing Scotland’s exports (from IELTS High Scorer’s Choice series, Academic Set 3) This is a model response to a Writing Task 1...

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Thank you very much for all the writings that helps me a lot.

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