ted the movie reviews

Advertisement

Supported by

The Lady or the Teddy?

• Share full article

By A.O. Scott

• June 28, 2012

There is really only one joke in “Ted” — a toy bear comes to life and turns out to have a filthy mouth and a taste for weed — but the movie’s attempts at humor can nonetheless be sorted into a few distinct categories. There are jokes that are funny only because a stuffed bear says them, jokes that are not funny even though a stuffed bear says them and jokes that may or may not be funny because of Mark Wahlberg. Mila Kunis is also in the movie, but she can’t be funny because she’s a girl, and her job is to be amused, tolerant and pretty.

Tolerant amusement is pretty much the best this harmless little picture, directed by Seth MacFarlane from a script he wrote with Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild, is able to manage, even though it strives for obnoxious hilarity. The cleverly animated ursine title character, voiced in an exaggerated Boston bray by Mr. MacFarlane himself, is a fire hose of vulgarity, ethnic insult, homophobia and misogyny. In the modern, meta manner he (that is, Mr. MacFarlane) wants both to indulge and to deny the offensiveness of this material, to wallow in ugliness and make fun of it too. It’s a wasted effort though. The sin of “Ted” is not that it is offensive but that it is boring, lazy and wildly unoriginal. If Triumph the Insult Comic Dog ever got a hold of Ted, there would be nothing left but a pile of fluff and a few scraps of fur.

Mr. MacFarlane is best known as the creator of “Family Guy,” an animated television series that has hung around in the company of “The Simpsons” and “South Park” like an annoying younger cousin, bullying and whining its way into a measure of public acceptance. The show shares with “Ted” a devotion to laughter based on incongruity: the baby who sounds like an English aristocrat; the dog who talks like a bored intellectual; the teddy bear with the voice of the guy who spilled beer down the back of your shirt at the Bruins game.

Balancing these inventions are sturdy stereotypes. In other words, the guy at the Bruins game is in the movie too, in the person of Mr. Wahlberg, who settles amiably into the role of an affable underachiever memorably named John. A cute opening sequence chronicles the granting of John’s childhood wish that his beloved bear come to life and the flurry of media attention that followed. In the present John is 35, employed at a Boston car-rental office and romantically attached to Lori (Ms. Kunis).

She is a good enough sport to accept her boyfriend’s underachieving ways and his devotion to his fluffy best bud, in spite of the skepticism of her friends and the amorous attention of her boss (Joel McHale). But circumstances and John’s own passivity conspire to force him to make a painful choice: the lady or the bear.

Meanwhile, to pad out the meager plot, Ted is menaced by a creepy guy (Giovanni Ribisi) with a creepy mustache and a creepy son (Aedin Mincks). Sexual and flatulence-based gags are accompanied by the usual side dishes: warmed-over pop-cultural references and cheap-shot jabs at celebrities and ethnic minorities. Fans of “Flash Gordon,” a kitschy early-’80s attempt to ride the coattails of the “Star Wars” movies, will be especially tickled. Admirers of Norah Jones, who shows up briefly, may on the other hand, be puzzled.

But not offended. There are some genuinely, wildly funny bits in the movie — a brutal motel-room fistfight between Ted and John; a cocaine-fueled talking binge; a few choice insults and smutty riffs — but the feature film is not a hospitable form for Mr. MacFarlane. He has no particular visual knack, little interest in storytelling and nothing better to do with his naughty bear besides stuff him into a soft, sentimental comedy that seems almost proud of its lack of wit or conviction.

“Ted” is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). It swears like a 13-year-old boy with unlimited access to premium cable.

Explore More in TV and Movies

Not sure what to watch next we can help..

The director Pablo Berger broke down how he brought a New York street scene to life  in “Robot Dreams,” his Oscar-nominated animated film about the friendship between a dog and a robot.

Cleopatra Coleman’s versatility has allowed the actor to stay relatively anonymous, but that may change with “Clipped,”  her new docudrama about an N.B.A. scandal.

The documentary “Jim Henson Idea Man,” directed by Ron Howard, doesn’t ignore the Muppet mastermind’s faults, but the tribute has a lot to teach creators everywhere .

If you are overwhelmed by the endless options, don’t despair — we put together the best offerings   on Netflix , Max , Disney+ , Amazon Prime  and Hulu  to make choosing your next binge a little easier.

Sign up for our Watching newsletter  to get recommendations on the best films and TV shows to stream and watch, delivered to your inbox.

Notice: All forms on this website are temporarily down for maintenance. You will not be able to complete a form to request information or a resource. We apologize for any inconvenience and will reactivate the forms as soon as possible.

• DVD & Streaming

Content Caution

In Theaters

• June 29, 2012
• Mark Wahlberg as John Bennett; Mila Kunis as Lori Collins; Joel McHale as Rex; Voice of Seth MacFarlane as Ted

Home Release Date

• December 11, 2012
• Seth MacFarlane

Distributor

• Universal Pictures

Movie Review

John Bennett has a problem. Maybe more than one. I mean, he’s a 35-year-old chronic underachiever who smokes too much and hates his job peddling rental cars. But right now, there’s only one hassle that’s really bugging him. You see, his live-in girlfriend, Lori, wants John to ask his best friend, Ted, to move out. And John can’t bring himself to do that.

I mean, come on : He and Ted have been best buds for, like, ever . Way back when he was a 10-year-old with no friends, John made a Christmas wish and Ted came to life. Who’s Ted, you ask? Ted’s a teddy bear—a living, breathing stuffed animal. Naturally, Ted and John pledged to be BFFs for life.

And they were serious.

Then again, maybe Lori’s got a point. Ted does steer John in the wrong direction sometimes. The drinking. The partying. The practical jokes. The time Ted brought over some hookers and one of them defecated in the corner on a dare. Not everyone has that kind of history together.

But Lori is a special girl. She and John have been dating for four years. She’s pretty, patient, loving, kind, and a good sport too. OK, she went a little crazy over the hooker thing, but still.

And so, it seems John has a choice to make: Fluffy best bud or the gal he loves.

What’s a guy to do?

Positive Elements

The movie’s three central characters do care for one another. Lori goes the extra mile for John. She eventually leaves him because of his foolish choices, but even then she rushes back to help him in a time of need.

Ted loves John, too, in his own way. And when he realizes just how destructive his influence over his friend is, he volunteers to disappear so John and Lori can repair their relationship.

As for John, well, he’s in a state of arrested development. That leads to some extremely bad choices. But he’s an earnest guy who’ll put everything on the line for the ones he cares about. And eventually he realizes that he does indeed need to grow up.

Spiritual Elements

We see a wedding in a church. Kids beat up a Jewish boy on Christmas Eve. In a tense situation, Ted quips, “You’re never alone when you’re with Christ. Jesus be with you in Christ.” When Ted is first magically brought to life, John’s mother exclaims, “It’s a Christmas miracle! You’re just like the baby Jesus.” Later, after word about Ted gets out, a televangelist screams, “Look what Jesus did!”

Sexual Content

Ted’s draws a picture on a woman’s bare breasts and torso at a party. He lounges on a couch with four scantily clad women in cleavage-boosting outfits. He has “sex” with a young woman in the back room of a supermarket (despite his lack of genitalia), and we see his moving furry backside and her bare legs with a pair of panties around her ankles. Ted squeezes a woman’s (clothed) breast in public. And he “flirts” with a buxom grocery checker by thrusting against a cash register, mimicking oral sex with a candy bar and portraying orgasm with a lotion bottle.

Dialogue includes references to anal sex, oral sex, sex with stuffed animals, sex with celebrities, women’s orgasms (complete with explicit sound effects), a gay “beat-up club” and genital size. Ted says he once wrote a letter to his manufacturer complaining about his lack of a penis. We hear multiple crude slang references to the male and female anatomy.

Two gay men kiss. John kisses Lori. They sleep in the same bed. Lori’s shown wrapped in a towel after a shower.

Violent Content

You wouldn’t think a softly padded teddy bear could cause much physical damage, but Ted unleashes some painful blows when he and John get into a brutal motel-room brawl. The pounding battle smashes mirrors and pictures, as well as a table and chairs. The fight ends with John’s bare backside being whipped with an antenna and a TV set falling on his crotch.

Another raucous melee breaks out at Ted’s party when a stoned reveler punches through a wall and an Asian neighbor comes running into the room with a butcher knife. Blows land and furniture is demolished in that case as well.

Young boys beat up a smaller kid. An adult John punches a boy in the face and knocks him out cold. A boy reports that his father hurt him badly when he once said a bad word. A blitzed Ted plays a game of five-finger fillet and stabs a guy’s hand with his knife. A car chase results in a crash, breaking car windows and crumpling quite a bit of sheet metal. Someone gets whacked in the face with a mic stand and tumbles unconscious to the ground. Ted accidentally nails his own paw to a wall. John accidentally punches Lori in the head on the dance floor.

A stalking father and son rip off Ted’s ear, slash open his stuffing-filled side and eventually tear him in half.

Crude or Profane Language

More than 50 f-words and almost as many s-words. God’s and Jesus’ names are blasphemed a total of about 30 times (“God” is combined with “d‑‑n” once, while “Jesus” and “Christ” are combined with an f-word).

Drug and Alcohol Content

Ted and John regularly swill beer and hard liquor. Lori joins them on occasion. Partiers drink all sorts of alcoholic beverages in several scenes. At one soiree, Ted and John go on an alcohol- and cocaine-fueled bender with actor Sam Jones. We see Ted huffing from a bong pipe a couple times. He and John smoke a joint.

Other Negative Elements

Ribald cheap shots are aimed at celebrities, homosexuals, women, overweight kids, “retards,” 9/11, Christians, Jews, Muslims and ethnic minorities. Flatulence and defecation jokes also turn up. Lori has to scoop feces up off the floor.

At first glance, a goofball comedy about a dim-bulb guy and his Christmas wish-enlivened teddy bear might appear quirky enough to be endearing. And to be fair, Ted could have been that.

But it’s not.

Instead this is an obnoxious and offensive one-joke skit that’s stretched out over a distressingly long hour and a half. The lone punch line? It’s that the cute-and-cuddly bear is actually a filthy mouthed, pot-smoking, ethnic-slurring, gay-bashing, beer-swilling degenerate misogynist who parties with prostitutes like a oversexed rock star.

Director, writer and Ted-voicer Seth MacFarlane—who’s best known as the creator of Fox’s foul animated TV show Family Guy —trots out an unceasing parade of all the smuttier stuff he can’t quite get away with on broadcast television. Result? A veritable fire-hose stream of vulgarity aimed point-blank at an audience he assumes is eager to laugh it up.

Not exactly the stuff of childhood wishes.

Read  what star Mark Wahlberg had to say about how tortured Ted is, and what happened when he showed his kids an episode of Family Guy . Look for ” Telling Tales About Ted .”

After spending more than two decades touring, directing, writing and producing for Christian theater and radio (most recently for Adventures in Odyssey, which he still contributes to), Bob joined the Plugged In staff to help us focus more heavily on video games. He is also one of our primary movie reviewers.

Latest Reviews

The Watchers

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

Weekly reviews straight to your inbox.

• International edition
• Australia edition
• Europe edition

Ted – review

T o some, comedy is a funny business; to others it's no laughing matter, and critics from Aristotle to Eric Bentley have attempted to explain and define it. Pauline Kael's review of The Sting set out to explain why it was neither funny nor entertaining; the leftwing theorist and cultural historian Raymond Williams once told the readers of the Listener that Rowan & Martin's TV show Laugh-In was unfunny. They were as unpersuasive as the British Council lecturer who tried to convince an audience in Tirana that Norman Wisdom isn't funny.

Woody Allen offers two definitions of comedy in Crimes and Misdemeanors , both ways of mocking the dislikable TV star played by Alan Alda and through him the celebrated writer Larry Gelbart , on whom the character is based. The fact is that the only definition of comedy is something that makes you laugh, and there's no gainsaying laughter.

These observations are provoked by some very sniffy and patronising reactions to the calculatedly provocative film Ted . It's the big-screen debut as director, co-writer and co-producer of Seth MacFarlane , author of the popular, envelope-pushing American TV series Family Guy and American Dad . I found this weirdly disturbing movie funny in both of the senses referred to in the 1945 British film The Rake's Progress . Told by her suave English lover Rex Harrison that she's funny, the Austrian refugee Lilli Palmer asked: "Funny ha-ha or funny peculiar?"

Ted opens in 1985 in a wintry Boston so full of violence and prejudice, narrator Patrick Stewart tells us, that a Jewish kid immediately joins a band of Irish-American antisemites in tormenting the film's lonely eight-year-old hero, John Bennett. John gets a large teddy bear for Christmas, christens him Teddy and wishes that he could come to life. Which he does, not as an imaginary friend of the kind we all have had or as an invisible rabbit like Harvey, but a real-life "thunder buddy" to console him at anxious moments. Ted immediately becomes a national celebrity, and in a glorious montage we see his rise to fame, his scabrous repartee causing Johnny Carson to collapse with laughter on his TV talk show. But as with everything else the audience gets bored with the novelty of a talking bear and Ted's popularity is short-lived.

By the time the film's title comes up after the re-credit sequence, Ted's a nobody and we jump to the present where the 35-year-old John (Mark Wahlberg) is stuck with his friend for life, the cynical, disenchanted Ted, watching TV and getting high on marijuana. By this point, Ted has become real to us, a foul-mouthed, acerbic, wisecracking ex-celeb. His face is immobile, but his voice (provided by Seth MacFarlane himself), eyes and body language are frighteningly human, a triumph of digitally created image-making. John is in a dead-end job with a car-hire company, Ted is as demanding of his attention as Kenneth Halliwell was for Joe Orton's in Prick Up Your Ears , though the nature of their intense friendship is far from gay as Ted is obsessively heterosexual. A triangular relationship is completed by the sensible, high-flying business woman Lori (the delightfully confident and puckish Mila Kunis), who, after four years of going steady, is tired of John's devotion to Ted and his inability to commit.

The crunch comes when Lori and John return from a dinner celebrating the anniversary of their first date to find Ted carousing with three hookers, one of whom has defecated in the corner of the living room after playing truth or dare. The bear must go, and he's found a job at a supermarket where his every outrageous depredation is followed by a forgiving promotion. But he constantly leads John astray, most notably attracting him to an orgiastic party attended by their hero, the minor movie star Sam Jones, who played Flash Gordon in the 1980 film version of the comic strip. The two are enthralled by the popular culture of the 1980s, and Ted has an encyclopaedic knowledge of films and TV.

MacFarlane never stops providing Ted with suitably offensive one-liners: the bear, for instance, talks of suing the toy manufacturers Hasbro for not giving him a penis, and dismisses an unattractive, overweight little boy with the line: "Back off, Susan Boyle". And Wahlberg plays along beautifully, at one point reeling off a couple of dozen names for trailer-park girls in answer to a quiz question from Ted. Eventually the writers stumble somewhat while seeking dramatic closure, but they never lose our attention.

Ted belongs to a long line of stories dealing with disconcertingly half-human creations, with pets and toys brought to life, which reaches from Pinocchio down through the ventriloquist's dummy in Dead of Night to Spielberg's AI and Chucky, the malevolent doll in Child's Play , alleged by the prosecution to have influenced James Bulger's killers.

Behind this lies Sigmund Freud's division of the psyche into the id, ego and superego. Ted is the id, the area of the instinctual, the libido, the dark, destructive elements of ourselves. John is the ego, mediating between the id and reality but all too easily distracted. Lori is the superego, the conscience, the controlling part of the mind, the parental sense of responsibility.

So in effect we can read Ted as not merely a comedy of growing up, or refusing to move on from adolescence, but as a psychological fable about the continuing struggle to become a mature person. Of course, Ted would have something sharp to say about that.

• Comedy films
• The Observer
• Mark Wahlberg
• Seth MacFarlane

Comments (…)

Most viewed.

The Definitive Voice of Entertainment News

Subscribe for full access to The Hollywood Reporter

site categories

‘ted’: what the critics are saying.

THR's Todd McCarthy says Seth MacFarlane serves up laughs from beginning to end in his movie debut.

By Kelly Payton

Kelly Payton

• Share on Facebook
• Share to Flipboard
• Send an Email
• Show additional share options
• Share on LinkedIn
• Share on Pinterest
• Share on Reddit
• Share on Tumblr
• Share on Whats App
• Print the Article
• Post a Comment

Familuy Guy creator Seth MacFarlane 's big screen debut Ted , starring a giant talking teddy bear and Mark Wahlberg , got a surprise screening at CineEurope. Before the Universal showing, MacFarlane told the crowd via video tape that the sneak peek wasn't the only surprise. "We set fire to your cars in the parking lot. So, enjoy," he quipped.

The creator of Family Guy , Seth MacFarlane , makes his feature film debut with Ted , hitting theaters June 29.

Ted , voiced by MacFarlane, is a foul-mouthed, pot smoking and partying companion of John ( Mark Wahlberg ), a bear who came to life in a Christmas wish John made when he was a kid. Complete with burp and fart jokes, critics think Family Guy fans will be pleased with the Boston-based goof.

The film received a 65 percent fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes from top critics. Read below for a sampling of Ted reviews.

The Hollywood Reporter ’s Todd McCarthy says MacFarlane serves up laughs from beginning to end without any feeling of strain. He admits that certain aspects of the premise may deter viewers, “but the comedy quotient is more than high enough to prompt upbeat word-of –mouth and solid summer business.”

MacFarlane’s “wise-ass, ecumenically offensive joke-making” is apparent throughout the movie, and the film serves up “cutaway digressions that are hilarious partly for being so unexpected.”

STORY: Ted: Film Review

Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times raves that “the funniest movie character so far this year is a stuffed teddy bear.” He also says the movie is the best comedy screenplay so far.

He notes that the laughs in Ted come largely through the bear’s dialogue. The plot, Ebert says, is “fairly standard but greatly embellished by MacFarlane’s ability to establish comic situations and keep them building.”

The remarkable thing about Ted , Ebert says, is that it doesn’t run out of steam.

Associated Press critic Christy Lemire says “in a lot of ways, Ted feels like a live-action, big-screen version of Family Guy with its pop-culture references and inappropriate racial humor, flashbacks and non sequiturs.”

Ted happens to be sweeter than you might expect, she says, despite its predictable formula. Lemire explains that “some of the one-liners and gross-out gags show signs of strain,” but it has a climax that “will warm the heart of anyone with New England ties.”

“Wahlberg does his best work in situations like this,” Lemire adds, “where he’s playing it totally straight in a setting that’s totally silly.”

Will Leitch of Deadspin , wholeheartedly disagrees, writing, “[Wahlberg] is surprisingly game here, but he’s all wrong for the part.”

There may, in fact, be nothing that Leitch likes about the movie. Of the plot, he says: “of the myriad problems with Ted , Seth MacFarlane’s flaming, masturbating fart of a comedy, the biggest one is that the teddy bear at its center is neither cute nor funny. The movie thinks he’s both.”

“There’s a prevalent, almost proud laziness to the humor of Ted ,” he continues. “The movie’s premise isn’t a bad one, but even its theme feels creaky and bored.”

STORY: CineEurope 2012: Universal Touts Seth MacFarlane’s ‘Ted,’ ‘Despicable Me 2’

TIME critic Mary Pols references another talking animal movie in her review. “ Ted ’s setup calls to mind The Beaver, another movie about dependency on a stuffed animal, although Ted is free of The Beaver’s pretensions and the unpleasantness of trying to get the audience to sympathize with Mel Gibson ,” she observes.

She warns that “the genteel and prudish better stay away from Ted ,” but MacFarlane and Family Guy fans will enjoy it, and perhaps new fans will as well.

A.O. Scott of The New York Times wasn’t much as a fan, declaring, “there are jokes that are funny only because a stuffed bear says them, jokes that are not funny even though a stuffed bear says them and jokes that may or may not be funny because of Mark Wahlberg.”

“ Mila Kunis is also in the movie,” he notes, “but she can’t be funny because she’s a girl, and her job is to be amused, tolerant and pretty.”

Although the film strives for “obnoxious hilarity,” Scott says the only thing the “harmless little picture” is able to manage is “tolerant amusement.”

The sin of Ted , he says, is “not that it is offensive but that it is boring, lazy and wildly unoriginal.”

STORY: Seth MacFarlane’s ‘Ted’ Moves Release Date to June 29

Betsy Sharkey of Los Angeles Times says, “i t’s the, ahem, embellishments that make the film unique. If there is misbehaving to be done, and there is a lot of it, you can bet a bear is involved.”

“The comic targets run the gamut — race, religion, relationships, reality, etc,” Sharkey says. “While nothing is sacred, the sacrilege comes with just enough sweetness to offset the salt.”

Rolling Stone ’s Peter Travers disagrees, giving the film three out of four stars saying MacFarlane, “the brainy, bawdy creator of those kickass shows, does not cater to audiences who call him juvenile, stupid, vulgar and foul-mouthed.”

Travers warns that the film is not for MacFarlane haters.

For fans? His debut as a feature director “hits all the sweet sports the irritate prudes.”

It’s dirty, completely R-rated, and “hysterically, gut-bustingly funny,” according to Travers, and fans of MacFarlane — or crude humor — should hit the theaters June 29.

,” Bowen says. “But my mom now buys them! It’s become totally acceptable to know who looks good without makeup.”

Related Stories

10 inappropriately sexy cartoon characters, seth macfarlane's 'ted' moves release date to june 29, cineeurope 2012: universal touts seth macfarlane's 'ted,' 'despicable me 2', ted: film review, thr newsletters.

Sign up for THR news straight to your inbox every day

More from The Hollywood Reporter

Lana del rey lauds taylor swift ahead of u.k. tour: “she’s told me she wants it more than anyone”, tyler perry pens op-ed in response to airport racial profiling: “affront to our dignity”, sabrina carpenter releases “please please please” music video featuring boyfriend barry keoghan, legendary’s ‘godzilla x kong’ follow-up finds new director in grant sputore, kevin spacey says forgiveness isn’t found in hollywood, michelle obama, regina king among speakers at 2024 caa amplify.

• Become a Critical Movie Critic
• Movie Review Archives

Movie Review: Ted (2012)

• Greg Eichelberger
• Movie Reviews
• 14 responses
• --> June 28, 2012

I went into Ted with much trepidation. Not so much because it starred a cursing, drug abusing teddy bear, but because it emanated from the mind of Seth McFarlane. You see, I don’t like to be pandered to and McFarlane has become a shill for the Democratic Party, using his once hilarious animated program, “Family Guy,” as a left-wing propaganda piece. (His atonement attempts with “American Dad” and “The Cleveland Show” leave a lot to be desired).

But, to my pleasant surprise (due in part to my open-mindedness), I really enjoyed this farcical comedy which has vibes of earlier “Family Guy” episodes. Ted , it turns out, is one of the few comedies released in the past few years that will make you laugh. More often than not, it will make you laugh out loud.

Ted tells the story of John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg, “ Contraband “), who, as a boy (played by Bretton Manley), receives a Teddy Bear for Christmas. Lonely and friendless, he makes a solemn wish that the toy would be his friend forever. And, of course, in movies like this, the wish comes true and the bear comes to life — complete with the voice of Peter Griffith (McFarlane). Amazed (and almost shocked to death), John’s parents (Ralph Garman and Alex Borstein) grudgingly accept the miracle of a living stuffed animal, and Ted becomes famous for a while — he appears on the covers of dozens of national magazines and is the subject of many TV and radio interviews. Included in this is a great clip of his appearance on the “The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson” (think “Forrest Gump,” here).

Working the check-out.

But fame comes with a price and with the advent of instantaneous journalism Ted is subjected to more and more embarrassingly funny moments (such as a public arrest in an airport for smuggling “mushrooms”). John during this time does not fare much better and the duo spend much of their adult lives getting drunk, high and watching reruns of the old “Flash Gordon” TV series. John does, however, manage to somehow attract the beautiful and successful Lori (Mila Kunis), who somehow is able to endure his (and the bear’s) vapidness, immaturity and complete irresponsibility.

The laughs come a mile-a-minute in Ted , with some — like from a hilarious party scene where John and Ted meet Sam J. Jones of “Flash Gordon” fame — being heartier than others. The surprising cameos along the way are a big plus, as are the “loving pokes” at past and present American pop culture. In a darker subplot, Giovanni Ribisi, as a father who wants to kidnap Ted for his son is funny in a creepy sort of way. McFarlane, who also co-wrote with fellow “Family Guy” scribbler, Alec Sulkin, deserve a lot of credit for taking an idea that is dumb on the surface and crafting a crude and heartwarming tale that works. (McFarlane deserves some credit for giving employment to many of his television show staff too — Kunis (voice of Meg Griffith), Patrick Warburton (voice of Joe the Cop), Borstein (voice of Lois Griffith) and Patrick Stewart (the narrator and voice of the CIA Director in “American Dad”) all earn a paycheck in Ted ).

Be warned, though, Ted is filthy. For its 106 minute running time, it doesn’t let up and, truth be told, after sitting through it I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Tagged: girlfriend , teddy bear , wish

I have been a movie fan for most of my life and a film critic since 1986 (my first published review was for "Platoon"). Since that time I have written for several news and entertainment publications in California, Utah and Idaho. Big fan of the Academy Awards - but wish it would go back to the five-minute dinner it was in May, 1929. A former member of the San Diego Film Critics Society and current co-host of "The Movie Guys," each Sunday afternoon on KOGO AM 600 in San Diego with Kevin Finnerty.

Movie Review: Despicable Me 3 (2017) Movie Review: Transformers: The Last Knight (2017) Movie Review: All Eyez On Me (2017) Movie Review: The Mummy (2017) Movie Review: Baywatch (2017) Movie Review: King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017) Movie Review: The Promise (2016)

'Movie Review: Ted (2012)' have 14 comments

June 28, 2012 @ 2:16 pm Ogilvey

A shill for the Democratic Party? I think McFarlane is an equal opportunity offender like Trey Parker and Matt Stone of South Park.

Log in to Reply

June 28, 2012 @ 3:11 pm Liberal Ace

You’re a good critic, Greg. Stick to reviewing movies and keep the politics out of it.

August 15, 2012 @ 1:32 pm Heather

I didn’t see any political overtones. Not sure what the reviewer was watching.

June 28, 2012 @ 5:11 pm Squidoo

Ted was a completely unexpected treat. Its got more than its fair share of offensive material but its also got an emotional side to it. Seth MacFarlane has done a great job.

June 28, 2012 @ 10:14 pm Jannell

I can’t believe I’m excited to see this!

June 29, 2012 @ 3:03 am Beau

Saw midnight showing of this. Whole theater laughed their faces off. I highly recommend seeing it.

June 29, 2012 @ 7:18 am Rondio

I’m going to love this. I have the same sense of humour as mcfarlene does.

June 29, 2012 @ 9:35 am BoredFlat

Even Ebert gave this 4.5/5! I’ll be seeing this later tonight for sure.

June 29, 2012 @ 12:55 pm muskoxxe

June 29, 2012 @ 2:28 pm turtle

I thought going in the vulgarity was going to be at an all time high, but it wasn’t as risque as I had prepared myself for. What I was completely unprepared for was how good the modeling for the bear was-it/he looked so lifelike and blended in perfectly with the RW surroundings.

July 5, 2012 @ 3:21 pm Carpenter

Best comedy since The Hangover. Brilliant.

July 13, 2012 @ 1:40 am Dennis S

It’s actually a very touching movie. You don’t even realize your heart is hurting until its to late.

July 13, 2012 @ 2:28 am kurbistan

GIOVANNI RIBISI IS SO FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!

August 26, 2012 @ 4:28 am Sighlander

“Be warned, though, Ted is filthy.” Its not nearly as filthy as it could have been. McFarlane could have pushed the boundary much further if he wanted to.

Privacy Policy | About Us

 |  Log in

Things you buy through our links may earn  Vox Media  a commission.

Movie Review: Ted Is a Comedy for the Idiot Adolescent in Every Man

The low comedy Ted has divided people into two camps, those who find its rote smuttiness, sexism, racism, homophobia, and fart jokes unendurable, and those like me, who — despite opposing most of those incorrect -isms — think watching a big teddy bear with a potty mouth do bong hits and bang hookers (though he lacks genitalia) is a good time out.

Mark Wahlberg plays John, the unambitious rental-car worker who, as a lonely boy, wished his bear could talk and ended up — a Christmas miracle! — with a BFFL. The bear, Ted, has grown up to be a serenely unemployed stoner (his Boston-accented voice is supplied by director Seth MacFarlane) with a fetish for Flash Gordon — the campy one scored by Queen starring Sam Jones. (“ Flash! Dah-dah! Savior of the universe ! ”) John’s accomplished girlfriend, Lori (megababe Mila Kunis), thinks it’s about time he stopped screwing around and asked Ted to move out, but John can’t quit his bear. If Ted weren’t a teddy bear, this would just be another story of a man-child forced to grow up. But the whole thing, of course, is the bear.

Wahlberg has become a great straight man — dopey and innocent, perhaps reliving the childhood he missed, having been too busy assaulting people as a juvenile delinquent. The lure of indolence is palpable, Ted’s effusions endearing. (“Ah, ya bahstahd, I love ya. I’m not gay.”) Ted runs out of invention in its last act (the bear is coveted by a chillingly deadpan sociopath, played by Giovanni Ribisi, and the villain’s fat son), but I can’t think of a better movie to see if you’re male and want to get high and relive your idiot adolescence. Except maybe Flash Gordon . ( Flash! Dah-dah! Savior of the universe! )

• movie review
• david edelstein
• mark wahlberg
• seth mcfarlane

Most Viewed Stories

• It’s the End of Paramount+ As We’ve Known It (and That’s Fine)
• Cinematrix No. 75: June 7, 2024
• Hacks Isn’t a Good Comedy
• Appetite for More Hunger Games Will Be Met
• The Acolyte Is Not the Star Wars You Were Looking For
• Andy Cohen Vs. the Housewives  

Editor’s Picks

Most Popular

What is your email.

This email will be used to sign into all New York sites. By submitting your email, you agree to our Terms and Privacy Policy and to receive email correspondence from us.

Sign In To Continue Reading

Create your free account.

Password must be at least 8 characters and contain:

• Lower case letters (a-z)
• Upper case letters (A-Z)
• Numbers (0-9)
• Special Characters (!@#$%^&*)

As part of your account, you’ll receive occasional updates and offers from New York , which you can opt out of anytime.

Movie Reviews

Tv/streaming, collections, great movies, chaz's journal, contributors.

Now streaming on:

“ Ted ,” the dirty-talking-teddy-bear hit of 2012, was packed with a sufficient number of outrageous belly laughs that it was easy to let pass the fact that there wasn’t much of a movie underneath those laughs. Or, as I put it when I reviewed the first picture for another website, with such enthusiasm that I actually gave it three-and-a-half stars (I’d adjust that to an even three if I could turn back time), “ it really is not quite so different than that of a standard romantic comedy in which a stand-up but somewhat immature guy has to fight off his lesser angels, largely embodied in a slackerish best-friend character, so as to become The Man (and Husband) he was Meant To Be. ” “Man” being Mark Wahlberg ’s John; “slackerish best friend” being the dirty-talking teddy bear, Ted, and eventual bride of man being Mila Kunis , who as it turned out showed plenty of good sense in not coming back for the sequel.

With John now divorced and porn-addicted, it’s up to exceptionally vulgar Ted to take up the storyline slack. “Ted 2” begins with the bear, who could use a wash beyond soaping up his mouth, marrying former-good-time hottie Tami-Lynn ( Jessica Barth ) at a wedding officiated by Sam Jones of “ Flash Gordon ” fame. (There’s a lot of recycling from the first film here.) Soon their domestic bliss goes south, and the couple enact a quasi-parody of the “ Raging Bull ” “you bother me about a steak” scene, which is rather queasily unfunny because the De Niro part is being played by a stuffed teddy bear rather than in spite of it. 

Co-writer and director Seth MacFarlane , the anything-goes creator of several animated television series, followed “Ted” with an Oscar-hosting gig that was distinguished by a callous smarminess, and then offered cinema a wildly unfocused and grandiose Western parody (“A Million Ways To Die In The West”). In this film, centered around a really lazily conceived “civil rights” case to grant Ted his “personhood,” MacFarlane, who also voices Ted in a particularly lumpen variant of Boston Nasal, gets really aggressive with his “I dare you to be offended” brand of humor. Particularly in the racial department. In one courtroom scene, a lawyer (there are three prominent ones in this movie, one played by John Slattery , one by Morgan Freeman , and the third played by Amanda Seyfried ; take a wild guess which one gets to be Wahlberg’s love interest) actually invokes Dred Scott, and draws a connection between that notorious case and Ted’s petition. In another, a whipping scene, the TV miniseries “Roots” is played for pop-culture kitsch laughter. It’s not clear how funny these, and other such “racially themed” jokes would play in a country that wasn’t coming to terms with a racist massacre, but I myself kind of doubt that a lack of horror in the headlines would boost the yuck value of such japeries. 

Aside from race jokes, “Ted 2” offers a nearly staggering number of weed jokes, a couple of which are mildly funny, or at least funnier than the rape jokes. Then there are the gay panic jokes, the racial gay panic jokes, the celebrity cameo jokes, and long stretches of no jokes, oddly enough, stretches in which the creepy kidnapping subplot of the first film is recycled, and works much less well than it did in the first film, where it didn’t quite work but, you know, the jokes were funnier. And so it goes. 

While the first film offered, by my casual recollection, almost two dozen belly laughs, this one barely registers four. The mean spiritedness oozes beyond the racial stuff and reaches fuller flower at the movie’s climax, which is set at a comic geek convention, and yes, consider the possibilities. All aspiration to actual humor is set aside in favor of a hammering insistence on the sub-human qualities of fanboys, cosplayers and so on. It starts to get numbing after a while. Acridness combined with ineffective humor is a bad mix, and whatever goodwill the movie scored based on sentimental value or the few effective jokes in the front end is entirely spent by the end credits. I suspect it’s going to be quite a while before we see a “Ted 3.” 

Glenn Kenny

Glenn Kenny was the chief film critic of Premiere magazine for almost half of its existence. He has written for a host of other publications and resides in Brooklyn. Read his answers to our Movie Love Questionnaire here .

Now playing

Peyton Robinson

Catching Fire: The Story of Anita Pallenberg

Marya e. gates.

Matt Zoller Seitz

Gasoline Rainbow

Monica Castillo

Boy Kills World

Simon abrams, film credits.

Ted 2 (2015)

Rated R crude and sexual content, pervasive language, and some drug use

115 minutes

Mark Wahlberg as John Bennett

Seth MacFarlane as Ted (voice)

Amanda Seyfried as Samantha Leslie Jackson

Jessica Barth as Tami-Lynn McCafferty

Patrick Warburton as Guy

Morgan Freeman

• Seth MacFarlane
• Alec Sulkin
• Wellesley Wild

Cinematography

• Michael Barrett

Latest blog posts

When ‘Bad Boys’ Began, Martin Lawrence Was the Top Dog

Expecto Patronus: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban at 20

Female Filmmakers in Focus: Bridgett M. Davis

Chi Film Fest's 60th Anniversary Cinema Soirée

Common Sense Media

Movie & TV reviews for parents

• For Parents
• For Educators
• Our Work and Impact

Or browse by category:

• Get the app
• Movie Reviews
• Best Movie Lists
• Best Movies on Netflix, Disney+, and More

Common Sense Selections for Movies

50 Modern Movies All Kids Should Watch Before They're 12

• Best TV Lists
• Best TV Shows on Netflix, Disney+, and More
• Common Sense Selections for TV
• Video Reviews of TV Shows

Best Kids' Shows on Disney+

Best Kids' TV Shows on Netflix

• Book Reviews
• Best Book Lists
• Common Sense Selections for Books

8 Tips for Getting Kids Hooked on Books

50 Books All Kids Should Read Before They're 12

• Game Reviews
• Best Game Lists

Common Sense Selections for Games

• Video Reviews of Games

Nintendo Switch Games for Family Fun

• Podcast Reviews
• Best Podcast Lists

Common Sense Selections for Podcasts

Parents' Guide to Podcasts

• App Reviews
• Best App Lists

Social Networking for Teens

Gun-Free Action Game Apps

Reviews for AI Apps and Tools

• YouTube Channel Reviews
• YouTube Kids Channels by Topic

Parents' Ultimate Guide to YouTube Kids

YouTube Kids Channels for Gamers

• Preschoolers (2-4)
• Little Kids (5-7)
• Big Kids (8-9)
• Pre-Teens (10-12)
• Teens (13+)
• Screen Time
• Social Media
• Online Safety
• Identity and Community

Real-Life Heroes on YouTube for Tweens and Teens

• Family Tech Planners
• Digital Skills
• All Articles
• Latino Culture
• Black Voices
• Asian Stories
• Native Narratives
• LGBTQ+ Pride
• Best of Diverse Representation List

Multicultural Books

YouTube Channels with Diverse Representations

Podcasts with Diverse Characters and Stories

• Parents say (45)
• Kids say (193)

Based on 45 parent reviews

It is a very funny movie

This title has:

• Great messages
• Great role models
• Too much drinking/drugs/smoking

Report this review

Great movie for you and your kids 🧸🧸🧸.

• Too much sex

Very funny, but maybe not for kids.

Great movie but.......

• Too much swearing

Funny, but too much drug use

Mature humor gives a bad rep to a great movie.

• Too much violence
• Too much consumerism

Log in or sign up for Rotten Tomatoes

Trouble logging in?

By continuing, you agree to the Privacy Policy and the Terms and Policies , and to receive email from the Fandango Media Brands .

By creating an account, you agree to the Privacy Policy and the Terms and Policies , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes and to receive email from the Fandango Media Brands .

By creating an account, you agree to the Privacy Policy and the Terms and Policies , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes.

Email not verified

Let's keep in touch.

Sign up for the Rotten Tomatoes newsletter to get weekly updates on:

• Upcoming Movies and TV shows
• Trivia & Rotten Tomatoes Podcast
• Media News + More

By clicking "Sign Me Up," you are agreeing to receive occasional emails and communications from Fandango Media (Fandango, Vudu, and Rotten Tomatoes) and consenting to Fandango's Privacy Policy and Terms and Policies . Please allow 10 business days for your account to reflect your preferences.

OK, got it!

Movies / TV

No results found.

• What's the Tomatometer®?
• Login/signup

Movies in theaters

• Opening this week
• Top box office
• Coming soon to theaters
• Certified fresh movies

Movies at home

• Fandango at Home
• Netflix streaming
• Prime Video
• Most popular streaming movies
• What to Watch New

Certified fresh picks

• Hit Man Link to Hit Man
• Am I OK? Link to Am I OK?
• Jim Henson Idea Man Link to Jim Henson Idea Man

New TV Tonight

• Star Wars: The Acolyte: Season 1
• Ren Faire: Season 1
• Sweet Tooth: Season 3
• Clipped: Season 1
• Queenie: Season 1
• Mayor of Kingstown: Season 3
• Becoming Karl Lagerfeld: Season 1
• Criminal Minds: Season 17
• Power Book II: Ghost: Season 4
• Erased: WW2's Heroes of Color: Season 1

Most Popular TV on RT

• Eric: Season 1
• Dark Matter: Season 1
• Tires: Season 1
• Evil: Season 4
• Star Wars: Ahsoka: Season 1
• Trying: Season 4
• Best TV Shows
• Most Popular TV
• TV & Streaming News

Certified fresh pick

• Star Wars: The Acolyte: Season 1 Link to Star Wars: The Acolyte: Season 1
• All-Time Lists
• Binge Guide
• Comics on TV
• Five Favorite Films
• Video Interviews
• Weekend Box Office
• Weekly Ketchup
• What to Watch

The Bad Boys Movies Ranked by Tomatometer

All 73 Disney Animated Movies Ranked

What to Watch: In Theaters and On Streaming

Vote For the Best Movie of 1999 – Round 4

House of the Dragon : Season 2 First Reviews: Gorgeous and Expertly Crafted, with Epic Dragon Fights

• Trending on RT
• The Acolyte First Reviews
• Vote: 1999 Movie Showdown
• The Watchers

Where to Watch

Watch Ted 2 with a subscription on Max, rent on Fandango at Home, Prime Video, or buy on Fandango at Home, Prime Video.

What to Know

Ted 2 reunites Mark Wahlberg and Seth MacFarlane for another round of sophomoric, scatological humor -- and just as before, your enjoyment will depend on your tolerance for all of the above.

Critics Reviews

Audience reviews, cast & crew.

Seth MacFarlane

Mark Wahlberg

Amanda Seyfried

Jessica Barth

Giovanni Ribisi

Movie Clips

More like this, related movie news.

‘Ted’ prequel series proves the formerly funny, foul-mouthed toy is all played out

Funny bits are few among the talking teddy bear’s raunchy but predictable hijinks on peacock show..

Set in 1993, the “Ted” series portrays John Bennett (Max Burkholder) as a teenager making trouble with his talking teddy bear (voice of Seth MacFarlane).

In the press materials for the Peacock series “Ted,” there’s a note from Seth MacFarlane, the executive producer/writer/director/co-showrunner and of course the voice of the foul-mouthed teddy bear from the smash hit comedy movie from 2012 as well as the not-nearly-as funny but still profitable sequel from 2015.

“Each generation develops its own unique artistic style, its own way of seeing the world,” writes MacFarlane. “In the twenties, it was the subversive musical phrasings of jazz. In the fifties, it was the bold brushwork of the abstract expressionists. Our generation’s unique art is streaming content based on previously successful intellectual property. In that proud tradition, we humbly give you Ted .”

Points for being honest about it. While the prequel series is a spinoff from a movie franchise, it’s more in keeping with the seemingly endless parade of sequels, reboots, remakes, re-imaginings, etc., of TV series, e.g., “Fuller House,” “Saved by the Bell,” “I, Carly,” “Gilmore Girls,” “Gossip Girl,” “Party of Five,” “Boy Meets World,” “The Wonder Years,” “Battlestar Galactica,” “Doogie Howser,” “Hawaii Five-O,” “Veronica Mars,” “Fresh Prince,” et al. Set in the year 1993, with Max Burkholder as the 16-year-old John Bennett (who grows up to be Mark Wahlberg in the movies) and MacFarlane once again voicing the irascible and bawdy Ted during a time when the novelty of his celebrity has waned, the series answers the question, “Did we really need a ‘Ted’ prequel?” with a resounding: No. Not really.

“Ted” is set in Massachusetts but clearly filmed on the Universal backlot (“John Hancock High School” is the famous courthouse square, seen in dozens TV shows and movies), with each episode playing like an R-rated sitcom without the laugh track. Ted’s 15 minutes of fame have passed, and he’s living back home in Framingham, Massachusetts, with John as well as John’s parents Matty (Scott Grimes) and Susan (Alanna Ubach), who have for some reason been renamed for the series, and John’s cousin Blaire (Giorgia Whigham), who is staying with the family to save money while attending college.

The raunchy, politically incorrect tone from the movies remains intact, often during dinner tables scenes filled with racial humor, sexual humor, etc., most of which comes across as more tired than edgy. Matty is a “BAH-ston” caricature who swills beer and swears he’s not bigoted even as he spouts racist, sexist and homophobic garbage, while Susanna is sweet and well-meaning, but something of an idiot. The enlightened Blaire keeps calling out Matty for his bulls---, while John and Ted are more concerned with getting involved with hijinks including smoking pot for the first time and a trip to the local video store to rent a mountain of porn on VHS.

There are some admittedly funny bits, as when Ted is the designated driver at a college Halloween party and gripes, “I’m the guy that gets to listen to the Spin Doctors sober,” or when Ted mocks a kid in a department store Hulk costume, exclaiming, “The Hulk doesn’t have a f---ing picture of the Hulk on his chest. … If you gotta TELL us you’re the Hulk, it’s already a failed narrative.”

The cast does what it can with the dusty material, with Giorgia Whigham a standout as Blaire, and there are some moderately entertaining moments and even a heartwarming scene or two, but with each episode extending past the half-hour mark (the pilot is nearly 50 minutes), there’s a lot of unnecessary material as the characters get involved in trite and predictable circumstances that are usually resolved just in time for the credits. Turns out “Ted” was a bear of its time, and that time was 2012.

• Stranger Things Season 5
• Deadpool and Wolverine
• The Batman 2
• Spider-Man 4
• Yellowstone Season 6
• Fallout Season 2
• The Last of Us Season 2

Entertainment

Movie reviews, TV Show recaps, previews, and news about all of the latest happenings in Entertainment, delivered with the tech-focused expertise you expect.

3 great Max crime dramas you should watch in June 2024

How to watch the mavs vs celtics game 1 live stream: nba finals, how to watch the pga memorial tournament 2024 live stream, how to watch the french open 2024 live stream: catch the finals, twins vs yankees live stream: can you watch for free, how to get a year of peacock for $20, everything you need to know about fallout season 2, everything you need to know about twisters, how to watch ncaa track & field championships live stream, new hunger games movie based on suzanne collins’s next novel set for 2026, 5 underrated movies on netflix you need to watch in june 2024, everything you need to know about i am legend 2, royals vs guardians live stream: can you watch for free, butcher squares off against homelander in first clip from the boys season 4, 3 rom-coms on amazon prime video you need to watch in june 2024, why is the underrated series evil so popular on netflix right now, 3 underrated movies on prime video you need to watch in june, how to get paramount plus and showtime for $5 from sling tv, everything you need to know about alien: romulus, everything you need to know about the last of us season 2, get a month of paramount+ for $5 with this sling tv deal, video game adaptation watch dogs finds its two lead stars, this sling tv deal gets you a month of starz for $5, like a simple favor then watch these 3 netflix movies now, the best shows on max (formerly hbo max) right now, will deadpool & wolverine’s shawn levy direct avengers 5, the best lgbtq movies on netflix right now, braves vs red sox live stream: can you watch for free, venom 3: release date, plot, cast, trailer, and more, maxxxine trailer: mia goth becomes a star, if you have to watch one hulu movie in june 2024, stream this one, 10 best historical movies ever, ranked, the 10 most popular tv shows on netflix right now, hurry sling orange and sling blue are both down to $20 right now.

• Comic Book Movies
• Comic-Con: Complete Coverage
• How to Watch
• Stranger Things

Entertainment News

Alien: romulus trailer teases more face-hugging madness, a24 to rerelease x in theaters, give a sneak peek at maxxxine, philo adds amc+ to bundled plan, expands fast offering to non-subscribers, snowpiercer season 4 teaser trailer previews one last ride, paramount+ celebrates pride month 2024 with special collection of movies and tv shows, tom hardy’s symbiote prepares for one final mission in venom: the last dance trailer, what’s new on hbo and max in june 2024, go behind the scenes in sneak peek at return to silent hill, entertainment features, in a violent nature’s chris nash on creating the most disturbing horror movie ever made, this forgotten 2009 movie is a modern horror classic. here’s why you should watch it (if you can), is furiosa a worthy follow-up to mad max: fury road, game of thrones’ disappointing finale lost sight of what made the series so great, now is the perfect time to start watching doctor who, it’s time to leave netflix’s binge-release model behind for good, x-men ’97 shows that marvel and the mcu are moving in the right direction, how tech powers the sensory-friendly screenings that open theaters to everyone, entertainment guides, entertainment reviews, the acolyte review: a refreshing change of pace, in a violent nature review: an old-fashioned gorefest, updated, furiosa: a mad max saga review: a thrilling new trip down fury road, atlas review: an absurd netflix sci-fi movie that works as a guilty pleasure, the strangers: chapter 1 review: a dull horror retread, doctor who review: a promising era, but a rocky start, kingdom of the planet of the apes review: a great, thoughtful sci-fi sequel, the fall guy review: a near-perfect summer blockbuster.

Jason is a writer, editor, and pop culture enthusiast whose love for cinema, television, and cheap comic books has led him to work in the entertainment industry. A proud graduate of both Whitman College (Adam West’s alma mater!) and Syracuse University, he has worked at Marvel Entertainment, DC Comics, Warner Bros., and Screen Rant. At Digital Trends, he covers all things film and television, from ranking Alfred Hitchcock’s best films to examining the everlasting neuroses of Larry David.  When he’s not obsessing over the latest Marvel Studios trailer, you can find him either working or surfing the web looking for the perfect fudge brownie recipe.

“If Mark hadn’t said yes we wouldn’t have had a movie”: John Moore Would Have Probably Canceled His $80 Million Movie Without Mark Wahlberg

M ark Wahlberg has led one too many daunting projects that are spread across multiple genres, with video game-based action pieces being among them as well.

Like his 2008 action/crime from Irish director John Moore,  Max Payne , for one to count, which may have received lukewarm reviews but was quite a successful piece when it comes to its box office scores, especially in the US.

Needless to say, Wahlberg performed epically in the movie; to the point where, perhaps, no one could play the character in live-action better. That said, even Moore thought through this very perspective before making the movie.

If anything, the filmmaker just may have even canceled his $80 million movie, perhaps, had the actor not signed on to star in it.

John Moore May Have Never Made Max Payne Without Mark Wahlberg

2008’s action/crime Max Payne and the titular video game series on which it is based features the story of the detective of the same name, hell-bent on finding and taking revenge on the culprits behind the murder of his wife and child.

Yes, that does sound somewhere along the themes of Keanu Reeves ‘  John Wick character arc, but it was a cult classic itself nonetheless.

What’s more, this gritty cult hero was brought to life by none other than one of the most muscular actors in all of Hollywood: Mark Wahlberg .

And, needless to say, the actor didn’t hesitate to nail it in the brutal gun battles and ear-shattering explosions throughout the action sequences of the video game-based live-action adaptation of the same by the Irish filmmaker.

“Mark Wahlberg was a terrible choice”: James McCaffrey’s Cameo Didn’t Save $87 Million Worth Max Payne Live Action That Was Destined to be Doomed Because of Poor Casting

That being said, director John Moore also admitted during an interview with BBC that he wouldn’t have made the movie without Wahlberg. He said:

When I first played the game he popped right into my head. If Mark hadn’t said yes, we wouldn’t have had a movie.

Well, it seems like Moore decided on the most accurate casting for the job , considering how not only did  The Family Plan actor give an outstanding performance, but he also understood his character fairly well, as per how he described him.

“We already saw Con Air 30 years ago”: Mark Wahlberg’s Next Movie With Mel Gibson Has Left Fans Excited But the Plot is Eerily Similar to an Iconic Nicolas Cage Starrer

According to what BBC cites Wahlberg as having said about Payne and his movie:

The character is really appealing because he is driven by emotion. It isn’t just a nonsense, shoot ’em up action movie. There is some depth there.

Now  that most certainly is true, especially when considering how the actor brought the character to life . But while that’s that, Wahlberg has also made it clear that he won’t be returning for a sequel.

Mark Wahlberg Won’t Be Playing Max Payne Again

While he did fulfill Moore’s heartiest wishes and joined the 2008 movie, the  Arthur the King actor has also made it evident that he won’t be reprising the role anytime soon. Well, at least that’s what he said during the interview with BBC.

“I need 5 seasons minimum”: Ted Season 2 Renewal Proves Franchise No Longer Needs Mark Wahlberg for its Success

When asked about a potential sequel starring him , Wahlberg said:

Probably not. I’ve never done a sequel before. I’ve always looked for the next thing and to move forward.

That is, unless he gets to get his own back on Mila Kunis and Olga Kurylenko , both of whom played his co-stars in Moore’s game-based adaptation. As Wahlberg said, jokingly: “It’s always fun kicking someone’s ass, but not when it’s happening to you.”

“I’m now probably aging out of that”: Despite Having a Chiseled Physique at 52, Mark Wahlberg Thinks He is Too Old For One Movie Role

For whatever it is worth, even though the film made a stunning $87.77 million from global box offices on its budget of $35 million (as per The Numbers ), the lukewarm reviews it received from audiences and the 16% rating on the Tomatometer are enough to halt even ideas of any potential sequel.

That being said, despite acknowledging his commendable performance, it is only better that Mark Wahlberg doesn’t return to reprise his iconic role.

You can watch Max Payne (2008) on Prime Video.

Small Tales & Emails: I also see Animal Auras, Updates from Ted

• Podcast Episode

In this week's minisode, I'll be reading an email from someone who also sees Animal Auras like Aurora from S5 E4 "Creature Companions", and I have some interesting updates from Ted, who you ... Read all In this week's minisode, I'll be reading an email from someone who also sees Animal Auras like Aurora from S5 E4 "Creature Companions", and I have some interesting updates from Ted, who you may remember from S9 E2 "A Haunted Life". In this week's minisode, I'll be reading an email from someone who also sees Animal Auras like Aurora from S5 E4 "Creature Companions", and I have some interesting updates from Ted, who you may remember from S9 E2 "A Haunted Life".

User reviews

• May 22, 2024 (United States)
• See more company credits at IMDbPro

Related news

Contribute to this page.

• IMDb Answers: Help fill gaps in our data
• Learn more about contributing

More to explore

Recently viewed.

My favorite Apple TV Plus show just proved it’s better than Ted Lasso once again

“Trying” season 4 is a masterclass in comforting comedy

Consistency is key when it comes to crafting top-tier television. The best TV shows maintain a relatively steady quality throughout their entire run. But if there’s one show that failed in this area, it’s Apple TV Plus’ “Ted Lasso”. Lasso’s third outing was so bad it made me question whether I’d ever liked the show at all. Fortunately, “Trying” is different, and is aging a lot more gracefully than Coach Lasso. 

I’ve been advocating for “Trying” , an Apple TV Plus original comedy with a similarly optimistic tone as “Ted Lasso," for literally years at this point. I’ve written numerous articles detailing why it’s my favorite show on the streaming service , but even I’ll admit, I was a little concerned ahead of “Trying” season 4. 

The show’s fourth season deploys a time skip, which is a storytelling device that can yield mixed results, and I also felt that “Trying” season 3 ended in such a perfect spot that it felt like an appropriate series finale. I wasn’t sure we even needed more. But, now that “Trying” season 4 has arrived, and I’ve watched the first two episodes, I’m relieved that my fears were unfounded. The show is as good as it's ever been. 

“Trying” is showing “Ted Lasso” how it’s done, as this Apple TV Plus original is doing a remarkable job of keeping a consistently high-quality level across multiple seasons. 

‘Trying’ is an Apple TV Plus gem

If you’ve never watched “Trying” let me give you a quick sales pitch to convince you to give this very simple, but seriously charming, comedy a watch. 

"Trying" centers on Nikki Newman (Esther Smith) and Jason Ross (Rafe Spall), a young(ish) couple living in London, England who desperately want to start a family of their own. After struggling to conceive naturally, they decide to try adoption. This kicks off a whole series of comedic situations as they attempt to navigate the complex process of proving they are capable of raising a small human — to both the authorities and themselves.

It’s a very basic setup, and while later seasons do shift to cover slightly different ground, there are no dramatic twists or intense melodrama to be found across any of the seasons. “Trying” isn’t that kind of show. Instead, it’s the television equivalent of a warm hug. I’ve rewatched the first three seasons multiple times as it’s so comforting and it makes for a great mood-booster after a draining day. 

The biggest selling point is the note-perfect chemistry between the show’s two leads. Nikki and Jason are extremely likable as individuals and as a couple. Plus, they have a great comedic dynamic, with Spall serving up hilarious deadpan quips and Smith bringing a lot of exaggerated physical comedy to the table. They’re instantly believable as a real couple.  

The supporting cast is similarly excellent, with Nikki’s sister Karen (Sian Brooke) and her eccentric partner Scott (Darren Boyd) two of my favorites. And while “Trying” is mostly a breezy comedy show, there are moments where it’s not afraid to get a bit serious. This includes a sensitive handling of the difficult nature of the adoption process. 

If it wasn’t already clear, I strongly recommend this Apple TV Plus show. And if you’re a fan of “Ted Lasso” then you especially need to watch. “Trying” similarly thrives thanks to a sunny tone and a general sense of optimism alongside a loveable cast of likable characters. 

If you’ve never watched the show, stop reading this article now, but if you’re all caught up on Nikki and Jason’s quest to start a family, let’s talk “Trying” season 4… 

'Trying' season 4 is another winner

As mentioned, rather than picking up immediately following Nikki and Jason’s wedding at the end of “Trying” season 3, the show’s fourth season fast forwards six years. Nikki and Jason now have more than half a decade of parental experience and Princess (Scarlet Rayner) and Tyler (Cooper Turner) are becoming moody teenagers. 

Across the first two episodes of “Trying” season 4 (which debuted on May 23), pretty much everything I love about the show, and talked about above, has been retained. The tone is easy-going, the comedy is pleasant and the characters are as loveable as always. Plus, the banter between Nikki and Jason remains top-notch. 

The biggest shift is that Princess is now coming into her own as a character, rather than being more of a plot device as she was in seasons 2 and 3. I’m excited to see her arc across the rest of the show, especially as her search to find her biological mother seems set to cause some major waves. Although, this is “Trying” so I’m not expecting too much drama. 

Tyler has felt a little underutilized in the first two episodes, so I’m hoping he’ll be given more to do as the season progresses. And I wouldn’t say no to a reappearance of Jason’s best friend Freddy (Oliver Chris), though I suspect a line in the first episode may have written him out of the season. At least we did get an appearance from Jason’s dad Vic (Phil Davis), who is always a hoot, and I enjoyed the scene where he expressed his love for his son through soccer terminology. 

“Trying” season 4 is off to a strong start. The show isn’t attempting to reinvent itself, but it’s settled into a pleasant groove already, and I’m eager to see more from Princess (and Tyler) as the now teenage pair add a fresh dynamic to the show, which should keep things from feeling too familiar. 

“Trying” is now available to stream on Apple TV Plus with new episodes dropping weekly until July 3. 

More from Tom's Guide

• New on Apple TV Plus in May 2024 — all the new shows and movies
• Atlas’ has finally landed on Netflix — and the reviews are shocking
• 5 best movies to watch right now before they leave Netflix this month

Sign up to get the BEST of Tom’s Guide direct to your inbox.

Upgrade your life with a daily dose of the biggest tech news, lifestyle hacks and our curated analysis. Be the first to know about cutting-edge gadgets and the hottest deals.

Rory is an Entertainment Editor at Tom’s Guide based in the UK. He covers a wide range of topics but with a particular focus on gaming and streaming. When he’s not reviewing the latest games, searching for hidden gems on Netflix, or writing hot takes on new gaming hardware, TV shows and movies, he can be found attending music festivals and getting far too emotionally invested in his favorite football team. 

‘Pachinko’ season 2: Everything we know so far

Apple tipped to unveil upgraded Apple TV at WWDC — with a cheaper price

Is Asus ROG Ally X the perfect Steam Deck challenger? Sort of — here’s why

• DBrink83712 Well, if your goal was to keep me from watching “Trying” then bravo, mission accomplished. How? The negative review of something else to create a positive is tired. Where I enjoyed season three of Ted Lasso you have made it clear that it was rubbish in your mind. This being the basis for your review I am left to know that “Trying” will not be a show for me based on this review. Reply
• View All 1 Comment

Most Popular

• 2 Apple Watch marks Global Running Day with limited edition fitness badge — and you can only get it today
• 3 ‘Alien: Romulus’ has the best trailer I’ve ever seen — and it might just be movie of the year
• 4 Samsung Galaxy Watch FE leak makes it look like the Galaxy Watch 4 2024
• 5 You only need 5 moves and 25 minutes to build full-body muscle and boost your metabolism

The Beast Review

Opening with an actress screaming at an invisible attacker while filming a green-screen scene, The Beast immediately reveals its primary ideas: the eeriness of technological advancement, a feeling of deep anguish at a terror that isn’t really there, and the interaction between the two. Bertrand Bonello’s sci-fi — in which two people, Gabrielle (Léa Seydoux) and Louis (George MacKay), meet in different eras — is an extraordinary excavation of the role technology plays in causing emotional mayhem, and a clarion call to those who would use it as a stand-in during daily human life.

If that sounds complicated, then buckle up: with three timelines and endless recurring symbolism, The Beast is, well, a bit of a beast. We begin in 1910, where Gabrielle is a musician; in 2014, she’s a model and actor house-sitting in Los Angeles; in 2044, she is considering “purifying” her DNA in an attempt to get a job in an AI-riddled society. In all three eras, she’s haunted by an intense feeling that something, one day, will annihilate her. Is it all in her head?

Though the story feels so attuned to current-day neuroses, its themes are timeless.

To the film’s benefit, Bonello doesn’t over-explain the backstory for this cold vision of the future, which is what sometimes dates less successful sci-fi movies — here, 2044 is a believable state of affairs, with experts already warning of the quasi-dystopia we could be facing with AI in an even closer timeframe. All we know is that after a ‘tragedy’ in 2025, AI has been increasingly relied upon in place of human-led employment, and that the government wants to ‘cleanse’ the workforce by purging them of upsetting memories from their past lives, thus reducing emotional suffering and removing biased decision-making — essentially, banishing ‘human affect’. A suffocating 4:3 aspect ratio locks us into this cold world where the streets are deserted, and the passivity of the populace — evidenced in a small but crucial role by Saint Omer ’s Guslagie Malanda as ‘doll’ Kelly — is pretty alarming.

Thanks to what is arguably Léa Seydoux’s best performance, we never feel lost among all the complex imagery across the timelines, from clairvoyants to pigeons, knives and dolls. With just a mere flicker in her expression, it’s so easy to identify with her passion and pain, even if the uncanny atmosphere leaves a deep feeling of ‘wrongness’ seeping into your pores like poison. There’s something in the 2044 scenes that feels strongly reminiscent of David Lynch, especially the way he makes you empathise with the anguish of Laura Palmer in Twin Peaks , despite all the strangeness in tone and mood.

Throughout, the director makes us just as afraid as Seydoux’s Gabrielle — afraid of what is the question that remains so riveting. Bonello mixes his high-concept sci-fi with real events — nodding to the 1910 Great Flood of Paris, as well as the 2014 Isla Vista killings by a misogynistic incel — to disorientate us as viewers, forcing us to sort through what is real and what isn’t, just like Gabrielle.

It’s in the 2014 timeline where there is the thickest atmosphere of inching dread and imminent catastrophe. Painted as a time of narcissism where nobody is really seeing, the world is filtered through sunglasses, videophones, surveillance cameras, YouTube and broadcast news; Dasha Nekrasova’s appearance as a model who speaks in an insincere Millennial drawl epitomises the empty posturing of the era. Bonello seems to be begging: wake up.

And in its purest essence, The Beast asks us to entertain a scary thought: if you could, would you go through a medical procedure that would remove all the parts of your brain that make you upset and frightened? Despite its esoteric imagery, the film is incredibly accurate in its exploration of anxiety, from the cruel nature of foreboding, to the ways we take refuge in the past, and how we often put ourselves in danger in our desperate pursuit for inner peace.

Though the story feels so attuned to current-day neuroses, its themes are timeless; it is, after all, loosely adapted from the Henry James novella The Beast In The Jungle , which notes: “It wouldn’t have been failure to be bankrupt, dishonoured, pilloried, hanged; it was failure not to be anything.” Bonello seems to echo in agreement: embrace the possibility of catastrophe, because a future without it is a whole different beast.