online school essay

Your home for college admission support

We bring more ease, joy, and purpose to the college admission process through free resources, online courses and one-on-one coaching., free resources.

Our blog has practical guides on the personal statement, supplemental essays, paying for college, and more.

Video Courses

Comprehensive live and on-demand courses to keep you on track. Most are pay-what-you-can, so anyone can join.

One-on-One Support

Want more personalized help? We've got free and paid options. Schedule a call with us to find out more.

When it comes to college admissions, we pretty much have all the things.

College Application Hub

• Essay examples
• Brainstorming exercises
• Supplemental essay guides

Upcoming Webinars

• Weekly AMAs
• Interviews with experts
• Professional development for counselors

YouTube Channel

• Application advice
• Interview guidance

College Essay Guy Blog

• How-to guides for colleges
• Resources for every part of the application process

• Industry-leading experts
• Building your college list
• Behind the scenes of an admission office

Most of our courses are Pay-what-you-can—which means anyone can join.

All Student Courses

• Join live or watch OnDemand
• Personal statement
• College application
• Applying to selective colleges
• College List Building
• Advanced Courses

All Counselor Courses

• Join live or OnDemand
• Comprehensive professional development
• Applications & supplemental essays
• Working one-on-one
• Workshops and small groups

Meet with an experienced essay specialist or counselor. Receive personalized, comprehensive support. Get all your questions answered.

College Essay Guy believes that every student should have access to the tools and guidance necessary to create the best application possible. That's why we're a one-for-one company, which means that for every student who pays for support, we provide free support to a low-income student.

The Matchlighters Scholars Program pairs high-achieving students from low-income households with experienced college counselors.

College Essay Guy offers tons of free and paid resources and professional development opportunities for college counselors working in high schools, community based organizations, or independent practices.

Free resources for counselors.

• Application checklists and monthly email templates
• Step-by-step guides
• Resources just for counselors working in high schools and CBOs

Online Video Courses

• Starting at $597 (or pay-what-you-can)
• Personal statement, supplemental essays, UC personal insight questions, and more
• For working one-on-one or in groups

Workshops & Speaking Events

• Led by trained workshop facilitators—from 30 to 300 students
• Personal statement, supplemental essays, UC PIQ’s and more
• Mix-and-match presentation topics

Essay Writing Curriculum

• Two private, live training sessions with your team
• A schedule of daily assignments with interactive exercises that help foster moments of self-discovery
• Designed specifically for teachers, high school and CBO college counselors

Parent Community

• Meet with college counseling and admissions experts
• Live weekly sessions
• Detailed calendar
• Get your questions answered

Family Handbook

• 37-page guide
• College List-Building
• Financial Aid
• Standardized Tests

45,000+ students realised their study abroad dream with us. Take the first step today

Meet top uk universities from the comfort of your home, here’s your new year gift, one app for all your, study abroad needs, start your journey, track your progress, grow with the community and so much more.

Verification Code

An OTP has been sent to your registered mobile no. Please verify

Thanks for your comment !

Our team will review it before it's shown to our readers.

• School Education /

Essay On Online Education: In 100 Words, 150 Words, and 200 Words

• Updated on  
• Apr 26, 2024

Online education has emerged as a significant transformation in the global education landscape, particularly in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic . This essay explores the various facets of online education, from its inception to its advantages and disadvantages and its impact on learners and educators alike. The evolution of online education presents a new horizon for accessible and flexible learning .

Table of Contents

• 1 Essay on Online Education in 100 words
• 2 Essay on Online Education in 150 words
• 3 Essay on Online Education in 200 words
• 4 Short Essay on Online Education

Also Read: English Essay Topics

Also Read: How to Write an Essay in English

Also Read: Speech on Republic Day for Class 12th

Essay on Online Education in 100 words

Online education is a modern educational paradigm where students access instructional content through the internet. This innovative approach has gained immense popularity, especially after the pandemic, owing to its convenience and adaptability. It has enabled students of all ages to acquire knowledge from the comfort of their homes, transcending geographical barriers. Online education offers a diverse range of courses and resources, fostering continuous learning. However, it also presents challenges, such as dependency on technology and potential disengagement from the physical world.

Also Read: The Beginner’s Guide to Writing an Essay

Essay on Online Education in 150 words

Online education marks a revolutionary shift in how we acquire knowledge. It harnesses the power of the internet to deliver educational content to students, making learning more flexible and accessible. Technology advancements have accelerated the development of online education, enabling educational institutions to provide a wide range of courses and programmes through digital platforms.

One of the primary advantages of online education is its ability to cater to a diverse audience, regardless of geographical location or physical limitations. It eliminates the need for commuting and offers a cost-effective alternative to traditional classroom learning. However, online education also comes with its challenges. It requires self-discipline and motivation as students often learn independently. Additionally, prolonged screen time can have adverse effects on students’ physical and mental well-being, potentially leading to social disconnection.

Essay on Online Education in 200 words

Online education has witnessed remarkable growth in recent years, with the internet serving as the conduit for delivering educational content. This transformation has been accelerated, particularly in response to the global pandemic. Online education transcends the boundaries of traditional learning, offering students the opportunity to acquire knowledge and skills from anywhere in the world.

One of the most compelling aspects of online education is its flexibility. Learners can access course materials and engage with instructors at their convenience, breaking free from rigid schedules. Moreover, this mode of education has expanded access to a vast array of courses, allowing individuals to pursue their interests and career goals without geographical constraints.

However, it’s important to acknowledge the challenges associated with online education. It demands a high degree of self-discipline, as students must navigate the coursework independently. Prolonged screen time can have adverse effects on health and may lead to a sense of disconnection from society.

In conclusion, online education represents a significant shift in how we approach learning. It offers unprecedented access and flexibility but also requires learners to adapt to a more self-directed approach to education. Striking a balance between the benefits and challenges of online education is key to harnessing its full potential.

Also Read: Essay on Fire Safety in 200 and 500+ words in English for Students

Short Essay on Online Education

Find a sample essay on online education below:

An organised argument backed up by proof and examples is the key to writing a convincing essay. Create a clear thesis statement at the outset, follow a logical progression of points, and then summarise your main points.

To improve readability, use clear and concise language, break your essay into paragraphs with clear topic sentences, and vary your sentence structure.

If you’re struggling to meet the word count, review your content to see if you can expand on your ideas, provide more examples, or include additional details to support your arguments. Additionally, check for any redundancies or irrelevant information that can be removed.

Related Reads

We hope that this essay on Online Education helps. For more amazing daily reads related to essay writing , stay tuned with Leverage Edu .

Manasvi Kotwal

Manasvi's flair in writing abilities is derived from her past experience of working with bootstrap start-ups, Advertisement and PR agencies as well as freelancing. She's currently working as a Content Marketing Associate at Leverage Edu to be a part of its thriving ecosystem.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Contact no. *

Connect With Us

45,000+ students realised their study abroad dream with us. take the first step today..

Resend OTP in

Need help with?

Study abroad.

UK, Canada, US & More

IELTS, GRE, GMAT & More

Scholarship, Loans & Forex

Country Preference

New Zealand

Which English test are you planning to take?

Which academic test are you planning to take.

Not Sure yet

When are you planning to take the exam?

Already booked my exam slot

Within 2 Months

Want to learn about the test

Which Degree do you wish to pursue?

When do you want to start studying abroad.

January 2025

September 2025

What is your budget to study abroad?

How would you describe this article ?

Please rate this article

We would like to hear more.

Have something on your mind?

Make your study abroad dream a reality in January 2022 with

India's Biggest Virtual University Fair

Essex Direct Admission Day

Why attend .

Don't Miss Out

• Skip to main content
• Skip to secondary menu
• Skip to primary sidebar
• Skip to footer

A Plus Topper

Improve your Grades

Online Education Essay | Advantages and Disadvantages of Online Education Essay

September 9, 2024 by Prasanna

Essay on Online Education: Online learning is one of the imminent trends in the education sector around the globe. This mode of learning is done through the internet. With advanced and upgraded technologies, this mode of learning has been made simpler. Online Education is also preferred in higher learning Institutions. This article will render the students about online education, its outcomes, and advantage in short and long essays on Online Education.

You can also find more  Essay Writing  articles on events, persons, sports, technology and many more.

Long and Short Essays on Online Education for Students and Children in English

We provide children and students with essay samples on a long essay of 500 words and a short essay on Online Education in Lockdown of 150 words on the topic “Online education in India Essay” for reference.

Short Essay on Online Education 150 Words in English

Short Essay on Online Education advantages and Disadvantages is helpful to students of classes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6.

Education is an integral part of people’s lives; it will either make them or break them in the prospect depending on their careers. Education is broadly diverse today compared to the 1950s because of progressions in teaching methods and other prominent inventions that implement more apparent teaching techniques.

In E-learning, the students study from home or any other place, that is most convenient for them. They can acquire learning material online. The study materials in online education could be texts, audio, notes, videos, and images. However, the method of study has its benefits and various drawbacks too.

Online education is suitable for those who can not visit or obtain the traditional education method for one reason or the other. Nearly 6.1 million college students are currently attending online courses, and this number is growing by around 30 percent yearly.

Online education provides a myriad of advantages for people, as well as companies because it allows for, among others, flexibility. A great way to benefit more from online education is to consolidate online education and traditional ways of teaching.

Online Education Essay 500 Words in English

Long Essay on Online Education 400 Words in English is helpful to students of classes 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 and 12.

Introduction:  Online education is an amenable instructional delivery process that includes any learning that takes place via the internet. Online learning enables educators to communicate with students who may not be capable of enrolling in a traditional classroom course and assists students who need to work on their own schedule and at their own speed.

Every discipline is registering a surge in the volume of distance learning and imparting of online degrees, with remarkable pace. Schools and institutions that offer online education are also growing in number. Students pursuing degrees through online methods must be scrupulous in ensuring their coursework is completed through a valued and credentialed university.

Online education is known to offer the benefit of synergy. Here, the format employed makes room for dynamic communications between students and the teachers. Through these communications, sources are shared, and an open-ended synergy evolves through a learning process. When each person bestows a view or opinion through discussions and comments on others’ work course, it benefits the student to learn better. This unique advantage is manifested in a student-centred virtual learning environment that online learning format alone can contribute.

With online classes, we don’t need to travel to a different city or commute long distances. We can stay where we are and keep our current job while we work toward improving our career with an online degree. Online education also helps digital nomads—someone who espouses a technology-enabled or location-independent lifestyle. We can watch lectures and complete our coursework wherever we are.

Whether we are a full-time or part-time online student, the online education experience provides a much more manageable schedule. Online education has gained much approval on account of its cheapness. Such is the fact that online courses are more affordable than those offered at schools or colleges. While studying in universities, we may have to spend some money such as transportation, lodging, and meals, online education may not require such expenses.

One of the important aspects of online learning is its inherent flexibility, however, there is a catch, one has to be extremely self-motivated. The best online students develop various approaches for staying up to date on their coursework. Things like setting aside time every week to study and create a workspace with minimal distractions can help immensely.

Conclusion on Online Education Essay

Online education’s potential advantages involve increased educational access; it provides a high-quality learning opportunity, improves student outcomes and skills, and expands educational choice options. Therefore, location, time, and quality are no longer considered factors in seeking degree courses or higher education because of online education.

Advantages and Disadvantages of Online Education Essay

Introduction to Online Education Essay:  Online education refers to the type of knowledge which is imparted through the internet. Millions of people globally are enrolled in online courses and can learn from the comfort of their homes. Online education can come in different ways; they could be educational webinars and videos on the internet or even face to face learning on the laptop with the teacher, which utilises the internet.

Online education contributes a myriad of advantages for people, as well as companies because it provides flexibility among other work. This indicates that despite people’s physical locations, they can accomplish the same level of education by taking similar online courses.

Teachers and professors optimise the timelessness and focus of the learning curriculum while students are able to fit learning time into their hectic schedules. Online education offers extensive benefits to students by giving a manageable schedule, student enhancement and augmented education access and choice.

Advantages of Online Education 

Online education enables us to learn from various mentors and teachers in different areas, increasing our knowledge and perspective. It reduces nervousness among students, as many are able to communicate more through online education than regular classes. One can learn from merely anyplace as long as they have an available internet device.

Online education normally provides a chance to study at our own speed as there is no rush. Most online courses are usually enjoyable and more comfortable compared to attending traditional classes. It spares you the inconvenience of having to travel to a particular destination every single day.

Online education usually is more affordable. Online education further happens to be comparatively cheaper in comparison to conventional educational approaches. Under traditional university programs, the students are required to compensate for transportation, textbooks, institutional facilities such as gyms, libraries, swimming pools, and other costs that expedite the cost of university education up. Online education, on its part, charges only for tuition and additional essential expenses. Virtual education thus offers both the wealthy and the poor an opportunity.

It allows one to learn innovative approaches through the internet and therefore become more skilful. In online education, if there are any variations in the syllabus, updates can be done instantly compared to conventional means of education.

Online education is flexible and adaptable since one can study at any time, even at midnight. It can help increase the grades of some people as compared to standard traditional education. Some people learn more through online education.

There is no need to wait for office hours to speak to the instructor; you can immediately access them through chat or email. There is considerably a large amount of educational information on the internet. Online education can also help one to be in the mix of a diverse group of people from varied educational, social, cultural and philosophical backgrounds. The subject matter is always available on the internet, unlike traditional education.

Disadvantages of Online Education

The advantages that online education brings to students are immense and indisputable. Pursuing an online course is an excellent option in education, particularly when traditional learning situations have many obstacles, such as commuting or distance. However, as everything has two sides, online education also has some fundamental drawbacks that can be inconvenient.

Using the computer too much can make the students prone to plagiarism. It can also cause vision problems as we sit near the laptop almost the whole day. Online education may also hinder physical development. Online education can be quite complicated for a person to be accountable for their own learning without someone to drive them to do something.

Online education detaches you from your classmates. One might need to put in extra time in some cases to understand the learning process. It is easier to cheat in an online exam than when in a class and hence may not be advisable during exams. Online education also gives one a lot of autonomy which may be critical for our learning. There are a number of distractions on the internet through adverts, and this might interrupt our learning. Online education also has significantly less self-assessment.

Online education has both advantages and shortcomings, but it is an excellent method of learning that can help develop a student’s performance. To succeed in online education, one should choose an ideal university and course to avoid pursuing education from among the various suspicious universities that employers may reject. The other most essential thing is to assure that one needs to maintain communication with the school faculty and fellow students. The important point is proper time administration that helps one manage our time to complete and submit prescribed assignments in time.

• Picture Dictionary
• English Speech
• English Slogans
• English Letter Writing
• English Essay Writing
• English Textbook Answers
• Types of Certificates
• ICSE Solutions
• Selina ICSE Solutions
• ML Aggarwal Solutions
• HSSLive Plus One
• HSSLive Plus Two
• Kerala SSLC
• Distance Education

Home — Essay Samples — Education — Online Vs. Traditional Classes — Online School Vs Traditional School

Online School Vs Traditional School

• Categories: Online Vs. Traditional Classes

About this sample

Words: 570 |

Updated: 7 December, 2023

Words: 570 | Page: 1 | 3 min read

Video Version

Good Hook Examples for “Online vs. Traditional Schools” Essay

• At the Education Crossroads: As students today stand at a critical juncture in their educational journey, they must decide between online schools and traditional brick-and-mortar institutions. These two paths offer distinct learning experiences.
• Face-to-Face vs. Digital Learning: In the realm of education, an ongoing debate centers on the choice between face-to-face and digital learning. Do students thrive more with direct teacher interaction, or can the online landscape provide an equally enriching experience?
• The Diversity Dilemma: Traditional schools function as microcosms of our diverse society, where students learn not just from textbooks but also from one another. What happens when this crucial element is missing in the online school environment?
• Learning at Your Own Pace: Online schools boast the flexibility of self-paced learning, but does this convenience outweigh the social dynamics and cultural diversity found in traditional schools?
• The Self-Motivation Challenge: Studying online may offer freedom and convenience, but it necessitates a unique set of skills: self-motivation and time management. Are these skills the keys to a successful educational journey?

Works Cited

• Alleyne, E. (2013). Face-to-face vs. online learning: Why can’t we have both? Education Dive. Retrieved from https://www.educationdive.com/news/face-to-face-vs-online-learning-why-cant-we-have-both/156820/
• Ryan, R. (2019). Face-to-face vs. online learning — which class is best for your student? The Denver Post. Retrieved from https://www.denverpost.com/2019/01/20/face-to-face-vs-online-learning-which-class-is-best-for-your-student/
• Lawrence, J. (2013, July 5). Traditional school vs. online school: Which is right for you? ECPI University. Retrieved from https://www.ecpi.edu/blog/traditional-school-vs-online-school-which-is-right-for-you
• U.S. Department of Education. (2010). Evaluation of Evidence-Based Practices in Online Learning: A Meta-Analysis and Review of Online Learning Studies. Retrieved from https://www2.ed.gov/rschstat/eval/tech/evidence-based-practices/finalreport.pdf
• National Education Association. (n.d.). Online Learning. Retrieved from https://www.nea.org/advocating-for-change/new-from-nea/online-learning
• Florida Virtual School. (n.d.). Benefits of Online Learning. Retrieved from https://www.flvs.net/about/benefits-of-online-learning
• Johnson, C. (2019). Online Learning vs. Traditional Learning: Which Is Better? Learning Liftoff. Retrieved from https://www.learningliftoff.com/online-learning-vs-traditional-learning-which-is-better/
• Jaggars, S. S., & Xu, D. (2010). Online Learning in Community Colleges. Teachers College Press.
• Allen, I. E., & Seaman, J. (2017). Digital Learning Compass: Distance Education Enrollment Report 2017. Babson Survey Group.
• Clark, R. E. (2012). The Problem of Learning: What Should Professional Development Look Like? Journal of Staff Development, 33(4), 46-49.

Cite this Essay

To export a reference to this article please select a referencing style below:

Let us write you an essay from scratch

• 450+ experts on 30 subjects ready to help
• Custom essay delivered in as few as 3 hours

Get high-quality help

Prof. Kifaru

Verified writer

• Expert in: Education

+ 120 experts online

By clicking “Check Writers’ Offers”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy . We’ll occasionally send you promo and account related email

No need to pay just yet!

Related Essays

3 pages / 1154 words

1 pages / 628 words

1 pages / 580 words

1 pages / 600 words

Remember! This is just a sample.

You can get your custom paper by one of our expert writers.

121 writers online

Still can’t find what you need?

Browse our vast selection of original essay samples, each expertly formatted and styled

Related Essays on Online Vs. Traditional Classes

Technology is rapidly taking over today’s society and how we accomplish things. We are very lucky to be living in a society that is centered upon multiple types of technology and advancements. There are major benefits to [...]

There is no doubt that education is the only tool to become successful. It gives us the opportunity to become a full-fledged member of a society we belong, by gaining all the necessary abilities. Nowadays there are several [...]

Online learning, also known as e-learning, has undergone a remarkable transformation in recent years. From its humble beginnings as a novelty in education to its current status as a mainstream and often preferred mode of [...]

The Society of Jesus, also known as the Jesuits, has played a significant role in the history of education and has had a profound impact on various fields of study. Founded by Saint Ignatius of Loyola in the 16th century, the [...]

10 Minute School is the largest online educational platform of Bangladesh. It was introduced or created by Ayman Sadiq with his goal to destroy all kinds of barriers of ensuring quality education to all across Bangladesh. It can [...]

Whether or not to take an online class is something almost every college student has to decide at some point in their college career. Taking an online class has both advantages and disadvantages, and students differ on their [...]

Related Topics

By clicking “Send”, you agree to our Terms of service and Privacy statement . We will occasionally send you account related emails.

Where do you want us to send this sample?

By clicking “Continue”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy.

Be careful. This essay is not unique

This essay was donated by a student and is likely to have been used and submitted before

Download this Sample

Free samples may contain mistakes and not unique parts

Sorry, we could not paraphrase this essay. Our professional writers can rewrite it and get you a unique paper.

Please check your inbox.

We can write you a custom essay that will follow your exact instructions and meet the deadlines. Let's fix your grades together!

Get Your Personalized Essay in 3 Hours or Less!

We use cookies to personalyze your web-site experience. By continuing we’ll assume you board with our cookie policy .

• Instructions Followed To The Letter
• Deadlines Met At Every Stage
• Unique And Plagiarism Free

University Administration

• Careers @ USA
• For Current Students
• Request Information
• Master of Occupational Therapy (MOT)
• Doctor of Occupational Therapy (OTD)
• Post-Professional Doctor of Occupational Therapy (PPOTD)
• Master of Health Administration (MHA)
• Doctor of 
Education (EdD)
• Graduate Certificates
• Clinical Orthopedic Residency (OCS)
• Orthopaedic Manual Physical Therapy Fellowship (OMPT)
• Continuing Professional Education (CPE)
• Doctor of Physical Therapy (DPT)
• Non-Degree Physical Therapy Online Courses
• Master of Science in Speech-Language Pathology (MS-SLP)
• Post-Graduate Nursing Certificates
• Master of Science in Nursing (MSN)
• Doctor of Nursing Practice (DNP)
• Browse All Degree-Programs
• Admissions & Aid Home
• Scholarships & Grants
• How to Apply
• Cost of Attendance
• Financial Aid
• Application Deadlines
• Academic Calendar
• Financial Aid FAQ
• Admissions FAQs
• Catalog/Handbook
• Our History
• Accreditation
• B Corp Certified
• Change of Ownership
• Student Achievement Data
• Institutional Learning Outcomes (ILOs)
• Diversity & Inclusion
• San Marcos, California
• St. Augustine, Florida
• Miami, Florida
• Austin, Texas
• Dallas, Texas
• Our Faculty
• Board of Directors

| 30 June 2020

Benefits of Online Learning – 16 Advantages to Learning Online

In fact, the pandemic has demonstrated what a practical, sustainable model online learning is. It keeps education accessible during a public health crisis, natural disaster, or other circumstance where students and faculty can’t travel. It can serve students across a wider geographic range, bringing in voices from across the country—and beyond. The online learning environment also promotes a better work-life balance. In this post, we outline the advantages of online learning and how you can leverage them to foster your personal and professional development.

Advantages of Online Learning

The format of online courses can help you thrive both personally and academically, helping you meet your goals.

1. You don’t need to relocate

With online classes, you don’t need to move to a different city or commute long distances in order to attend the program of your choice. You can stay where you are and keep your current job while you work toward enhancing your career with an online college or graduate degree (However, some programs require fieldwork experience, which may necessitate relocation.) 

On the other hand, if you want to become a digital nomad—someone who embraces a location-independent, technology-enabled lifestyle—online education may allow you to do that too. You can watch lectures and complete your coursework wherever you are—whether that’s at home, in a café, or on an exotic beach.

2. It’s easier to achieve optimal school-life balance

Whether you’re a full-time or part-time online student, the online learning experience allows for a much more flexible schedule. Some elements may be synchronous: You may need to attend live lectures, demonstrations, or discussion sessions. But many elements will be asynchronous, meaning that you can complete them at your own pace, learning at the time of day and in the place that works best for you.

When you’re more in control of your schedule, time management goes more smoothly. It’s easier to maintain an active social and family life while earning your college degree or graduate degree. It is possible to have it all: education, professional development, and a vibrant personal life.

3. It helps you develop and stick to healthy habits

Another benefit of online learning and a better school-life balance is that you can develop greater discipline about healthy habits. Not everyone enjoys squeezing in a workout or yoga session at the crack of dawn or right before bed. So if you’re learning from home, you can take a midday jog or online Pilates class. You can even take a power nap, which research has shown can benefit memory and learning .

Studying from home can also give you more time to focus on self-care. Whether through self-reflection , meditation, or yoga, practicing self-care can help boost your confidence and emotional intelligence.

4. You have more time to do the things you love

If you’re taking in-person classes but don’t live near campus, commuting can take up a significant amount of your time. According to the U.S. Census Bureau , the average daily commute time is 54.2 minutes. If you’re like most people, you’d probably rather avoid traffic or crowded public transportation. And saving that 54 minutes per day (or more) will free up time you can spend working, exercising, having fun, or connecting with loved ones. In fact, spending time away from work has been shown to ultimately boost productivity and creativity .  

5. Online learning makes it possible to keep your job

Many graduate students can’t afford to take time off from work. Or they want to keep working on career advancement while staying in their current position, improving their credentials and applying their learning on the job. So if you want to continue working at your current job while earning your degree, online education is a great way to go. You don’t have to choose between school and work—you can do both.

6. You can create your own office

It’s an advantage to be able to create your own workspace. You can set up your desk at just the right height and find a supportive office chair—or you can work from your couch. Not only can your setup be more physically comfortable, but studies show that 42% of workers believe they’re more productive working at home.

7. It’s easier to concentrate and participate

Since different people are productive at different times of day, online learning allows you to work at the time when your brain is most engaged. Also, some people have trouble concentrating and participating in crowded classrooms. Online learning can make it easier for students to focus and for more introverted students to chime in with questions or ideas, which can help boost their confidence and positivity . 

Skills and Positive Traits Gained from Online Learning

8. Boost your time management skills

Staying organized is key to being a successful student. Find a method that works well for you, such as exploring these time management techniques , using planners , or trying out new virtual tools for productivity .

9. Learn new technical skills

Immersing yourself in the technology that powers online learning will enhance your technical literacy.

10. Enhance your communication skills 

Online learning creates opportunities to interact, participate, and communicate with your peers and instructors in different ways.

11. Develop self-motivation and self-discipline

In order to stick to a schedule and keep up with your coursework, you must learn self-motivation and self-discipline—qualities that will serve you well in your personal and professional life.

Additional Benefits of Online Learning

12. reduce your carbon footprint .

Not only do you save money on gas, which averages out to $1,300 per person annually in the United States—you can save paper by lessening your reliance on printed materials, ultimately reducing your carbon footprint. 

13. Reduce stress

Learning at your own pace, participating in ways that feel more comfortable, and not having an arduous commute can help you limit stress.

14. Cook at home more instead of eating out

Spending more time at home makes cooking easier, which is ideal for healthy eating and saving money.

15. Expand your horizons

Connecting with classmates from all around the world can help you share different cultural perspectives on your field, which makes you a more broad-minded practitioner. 

16. Network with your peers

Meeting classmates online can give you opportunities to network across a wider geographic region, which can help you advance your career. You might even find a mentor who can help support and guide you to apply your learning on the job.

Forbes Business Council. “3 Benefits of Remote Learning for Every Generation.” Forbes, 14 Oct. 2022, https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbesbusinesscouncil/2022/10/14/3-benefits-of-remote-learning-for-every-generation/?sh=3d7184e0528e . Accessed: March 20, 2024.

Cavanaugh, Joseph K. and Stephen J. Jacquemin. “A Large Sample Comparison of Grade Based Student Learning Outcomes in Online vs. Face-to-Face Courses.” Online Learning 19, no. 2 (February 2015). http://dx.doi.org/10.24059/olj.v19i2.454. Accessed: January 26, 2022

Shaw, Gabby. “Here’s How Much the Average Person Spends on Gas in Every State.” Business Insider. February 15, 2019. https://www.businessinsider.com/how-much-the-average-person-spends-on-gas-in-every-state-2019-2. Accessed: January 26, 2022

ManpowerGroup. “Closing the Skills Gap: Know What Workers Want.” 2019. https://workforce-resources.manpowergroup.com/closing-the-skills-gap-know-what-workers-want/closing-the-skills-gap-know-what-workers-want. Accessed: January 26, 2022

Levitz, Ruffalo Noel. “2018 National Student Satisfaction and Priorities Report.” 2018. http://learn.ruffalonl.com/rs/395-EOG-977/images/2018_National_Student_Satisfaction_Report_EM-031.pdf. Accessed: January 26, 2022

Roy, Robin, Stephen Potter, Karen Yarrow, and Mark Smith. “Towards Sustainable Higher Education: Environmental impacts of campus-based and distance higher education systems.” Design Innovation Group. March 2005. http://www3.open.ac.uk/events/3/2005331_47403_o1.pdf. Accessed: January 26, 2022

West, Robin L., Natalie C. Ebner, and Erin C. Hastings. “Linking Goals and Aging.” In New Developments in Goal Setting and Task Performance, edited by Edwin A. Locke and Gary P. Latham, 439–459. Routledge Taylor and Francis Group, 2013. https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Natalie-Ebner/publication/287491758_Linking_goals_and_aging_Experimental_and_life-span_approaches/links/56773c0008ae502c99d2f10a/Linking-goals-and-aging-Experimental-and-life-span-approaches.pdf. Accessed: January 26, 2022

ARE YOU INSPIRED?

There could be an article about you here one day. Take charge of your own life-story!

Take charge of your own life-story

More Editorial Articles

The Importance of Professionalism in Nursing

How to Become a Physical Therapist in 6 Steps

How To Study Effectively? 10 Best Study Techniques | USAHS

Upcoming editorial events.

Master of Science in Speech-Language Pathology (MS-SLP) - Academic Webinar - September 23 | USAHS

Occupational Therapy (OTD, OTD Flex, MOT, & MOT Flex) – Academic Webinar - September 24 | USAHS

Doctor of Physical Therapy (DPT) Academic Webinar - September 25 | USAHS

• Essay Samples
• College Essay
• Writing Tools
• Writing guide

Creative samples from the experts

↑ Return to Essay Samples

Argumentative Essay: Online Learning and Educational Access

Conventional learning is evolving with the help of computers and online technology. New ways of learning are now available, and improved access is one of the most important benefits available. People all around the world are experiencing improved mobility as a result of the freedom and potential that online learning provides, and as academic institutions and learning organisations adopt online learning technologies and remote-access learning, formal academic education is becoming increasingly legitimate. This essay argues the contemporary benefits of online learning, and that these benefits significantly outweigh the issues, challenges and disadvantages of online learning.

Online learning is giving people new choices and newfound flexibility with their personal learning and development. Whereas before, formal academic qualifications could only be gained by participating in a full time course on site, the internet has allowed institutions to expand their reach and offer recognized courses on a contact-partial, or totally virtual, basis. Institutions can do so with relatively few extra resources, and for paid courses this constitutes excellent value, and the student benefits with greater educational access and greater flexibility to learn and get qualified even when there lots of other personal commitments to deal with.

Flexibility is certainly one of the most important benefits, but just as important is educational access. On top of the internet’s widespread presence in developed countries, the internet is becoming increasingly available in newly developed and developing countries. Even without considering the general informational exposure that the internet delivers, online academic courses and learning initiatives are becoming more aware of the needs of people from disadvantaged backgrounds, and this means that people from such backgrounds are in a much better position to learn and progress than they used to be.

The biggest argument that raises doubt over online learning is the quality of online courses in comparison to conventional courses. Are such online courses good enough for employers to take notice? The second biggest argument is the current reality that faces many people from disadvantaged backgrounds, despite the improvements made in this area in recent years – they do not have the level of basic access needed to benefit from online learning. In fact, there are numerous sources of evidence that claim disadvantaged students are not receiving anywhere near the sort of benefits that online learning institutions and promoters are trying to instigate. Currently there are many organisations, campaigns and initiatives that are working to expand access to higher education. With such high participation, it can be argued that it is only a matter of time before the benefits are truly realised, but what about the global online infrastructure?

There is another argument that is very difficult to dispel, and that is the response of different types of students to the online learning paradigm. Evidence shows that there are certain groups of students that benefit from college distance learning much more than other groups. In essence, students must be highly motivated and highly disciplined if they are to learn effectively in their own private environment.

Follow Us on Social Media

Get more free essays

Send via email

Most useful resources for students:.

• Free Essays Download
• Writing Tools List
• Proofreading Services
• Universities Rating

Contributors Bio

Find more useful services for students

Free plagiarism check, professional editing, online tutoring, free grammar check.

Is online education good or bad? And is this really the right question?

Associate Professor, Warner School of Education, University of Rochester

Disclosure statement

From 1995-2002, Eric Fredericksen was a Principal Investigator for grants received from the Alfred P. Sloan Foundation for ALN (Asynchronous Learning Environments). Eric is a member of the Board of Directors for the Online Learning Consortium (formerly Sloan Consortium), the professional society in higher education focused on quality online education. In 2013, he was honored as a Sloan-C Fellow.

View all partners

For the past twenty years, I’ve heard this question asked many times about online education. It might be tempting for enthusiasts to say “of course it is good,” but I see this as a kind of “trick question.” We should consider asking this question in the context of the traditional classroom.

Have our experiences in traditional classroom been stellar? All of us have had great classes in traditional settings and perhaps some that were not. I would suggest that quality and effectiveness of learning are not tied to “mode” of instruction.

In the same way that we can have good (and not so good) traditional classroom courses, we can also have good (and not so good) online courses. Further, re-conceptualizing and converting a traditional classroom course to an online course doesn’t necessarily make it better or worse.

What does the research tell us? And what are the lessons for teaching – and learning – in the future?

Research about online education

An abundance of studies have examined online education. They explore effectiveness through a number of criteria including satisfaction, retention and achievement.

An objective review published by the American Educational Research Association ( How Does Distance Education Compare with Classroom Instruction? A Meta Analysis of the Empirical Literature ) examined the literature between 1985 and 2002.

The authors analyzed 232 studies at all academic levels (K-12 and higher education) examining achievement (based on 57,019 students), attitude (based on 35,365 students) and retention (based on 3,744,869 students) outcomes. This meta-analysis highlighted that some applications of online education were better than classroom instruction and some were worse.

Another notable analysis was published by the US Department of Education in 2010. The Evaluation of Evidence-Based Practices in Online Learning: A Meta-Analysis and Review of Online Learning Studies found that, on average, students in online learning conditions performed modestly better than those receiving face-to-face instruction.

What should we conclude from this?

I believe it tells us that online learning can be effective – but that alone is not a guarantee that it will be effective. It is not predetermined that online education is better (or worse) than a physical classroom.

Perhaps a more important question to ask is, “ How can online education be effective?”

Developing an online course

After two decades of work in and dedication to this field, I believe that we can positively impact the learning experience for students in online courses. A vital aspect of this is the support and assistance provided to faculty who are designing online courses and that we openly discuss the advantages and constraints of this “type of classroom”.

Effective online courses are developed through the systematic design of instruction with emphasis on the achievement of course learning objectives. This rigorous approach to course development and the creation of learning activities (which vary by course) is fundamental to create an effective learning environment and increases the potential for student learning and their construction of new knowledge.

Thoughtful course planning takes best practices (e.g., consistency of course interface and similarly structured course modules) into account and should be complete prior to the start of the course. In one research study it was interesting to note that faculty who go through the process acknowledge that this conscientious approach to pedagogical review also has positive impact in traditional classrooms.

Admittedly, one great advantage of online learning is the enhanced access for students: removing the constraint of commuting to a specific location at a certain time. Annual studies document that millions of students are able to enroll in online courses. But what are the educational advantages of the online classroom?

A common misperception of online education has been that it is an isolating experience for students. In fact, research studies that I have conducted with colleagues show quite the opposite.

Through asynchronous discussion boards, there can be increased interaction, both in quantity and quality, with and among students. These class discussions are not constrained to a small window of time but can transpire over a week or two. This environment allows all students to engage and actively participate in the discussion.

Compare this to a traditional classroom where the discussion might be dominated by a subset of students, while the rest of the class is passive. Every online student can have a voice and be heard. In addition, expanding the time for discussion permits students to reflect and explore additional information, thoughtfully consider the views of their classmates, and then take the time to construct their own contribution, which can lead to higher quality responses.

Another advantage is the ability to facilitate peer review – a beneficial instructional strategy for learners to share their individual views and knowledge with their classmates regarding papers or projects. This feedback benefits the student author and the student reviewer. Managing peer review is significantly easier in my online classroom (a discussion board enables exchanges) compared to my physical classroom with the corresponding constraints, where students would need to bring hard copies of their work to distribute to their classmates and then need to create an additional event to somehow exchange feedback.

Focus on learning

This is not meant as a criticism of the traditional classroom. I have enjoyed teaching in physical spaces for more than 25 years and found the experience rewarding and valuable. I will continue to do so. But I believe we need to be careful not to romanticize the traditional classroom.

Not all traditional learning experiences are equal. There is a significant difference between a lecture in a large auditorium with hundreds of students and a small seminar room with 15 students.

The physical classroom has one advantage – the “spontaneity” of the discussion that can occur. These occasions can be wonderful learning opportunities. This lack of spontaneity has been a constraint in online classes due to the limitations of required bandwidth for live (synchronous) web conferencing. However, some of the technological challenges have recently been alleviated and I am able to complement my online courses with class discussions where students can see and hear each other, regardless of their physical location.

So what’s the future for online classes? My hope is that we continue to evolve different models of online learning. The spirit of “blended” or “hybrid” online courses strives to capture the best of online with the best of traditional classroom experiences.

Ultimately, I believe we will progress and develop instruction to the point where these historically based distinctions and categorical terms will blur and become less meaningful, and we will simply just focus on learning.

• Online education

Want to write?

Write an article and join a growing community of more than 190,200 academics and researchers from 5,047 institutions.

Register now

Impact of Online Classes on Students Essay

• To find inspiration for your paper and overcome writer’s block
• As a source of information (ensure proper referencing)
• As a template for you assignment
• Introduction
• Thesis Statement

Background study

• Impacts of online education

Introduction to Online Education

Online learning is one of the new innovative study methods that have been introduced in the pedagogy field. In the last few years, there has been a great shift in the training methods. Students can now learn remotely using the internet and computers.

Online learning comes in many forms and has been developing with the introduction of new technologies. Most universities, high schools, and other institutions in the world have all instituted this form of learning, and the student population in the online class is increasing fast. There has been a lot of research on the impacts of online education as compared to ordinary classroom education.

If the goal is to draw a conclusion of online education, considerable differences between the online learning environment and classroom environment should be acknowledged. In the former, teachers and students don’t meet physically as opposed to the latter, where they interact face to face. In this essay, the challenges and impact of online classes on students, teachers, and institutions involved were examined.

Thesis Statement about Online Classes

Thus, the thesis statement about online classes will be as follows:

Online learning has a positive impact on the learners, teachers, and the institution offering these courses.

Online learning or E learning is a term used to describe various learning environments that are conducted and supported by the use of computers and the internet. There are a number of definitions and terminologies that are used to describe online learning.

These include E learning, distance learning, and computer learning, among others (Anon, 2001). Distant learning is one of the terminologies used in E learning and encompasses all learning methods that are used to train students that are geographically away from the training school. Online learning, on the other hand, is used to describe all the learning methods that are supported by the Internet (Moore et al., 2011).

Another terminology that is used is E learning which most authors have described as a learning method that is supported by the use of computers, web-enabled communication, and the use of new technological tools that enhance communication (Spector, 2008). Other terminologies that are used to describe this form of online learning are virtual learning, collaborative learning, web-based learning, and computer-supported collaborative learning (Conrad, 2006).

Impacts of Online Classes on Students

Various studies and articles document the merits, demerits, and challenges of online studies. These studies show that online study is far beneficial to the students, teachers, and the institution in general and that the current challenges can be overcome through technological advancement and increasing efficiency of the learning process.

One of the key advantages of online learning is the ability of students to study in their own comfort. For a long time, students had to leave their comfort areas and attend lectures. This change in environment causes a lack of concentration in students. In contrast, E-learning enables the students to choose the best environment for study, and this promotes their ability to understand. As a result, students enjoy the learning process as compared to conventional classroom learning.

Another benefit is time and cost savings. Online students are able to study at home, and this saves them travel and accommodation costs. This is in contrast with the classroom environment, where learners have to pay for transport and accommodation costs as well as any other costs associated with the learning process.

Online study has been found to reduce the workload on the tutors. Most of the online notes and books are availed to the students, and this reduces the teacher’s workload. Due to the availability of teaching materials online, tutors are not required to search for materials. Teachers usually prepare lessons, and this reduces the task of training students over and over again.

Accessibility to learning materials is another benefit of online learning. Students participating in online study have unlimited access to learning materials, which gives them the ability to study effectively and efficiently. On the other hand, students in the classroom environment have to take notes as the lecture progress, and these notes may not be accurate as compared to the materials uploaded on the websites.

Unlimited resources are another advantage of online study. Traditionally, learning institutions were limited in the number of students that could study in the classroom environment. The limitations of facilities such as lecture theaters and teachers limited student enrollment in schools (Burgess & Russell, 2003).

However, with the advent of online studies, physical limitations imposed by classrooms, tutors, and other resources have been eliminated. A vast number of students can now study in the same institution and be able to access the learning materials online. The use of online media for training enables a vast number of students to access materials online, and this promotes the learning process.

Promoting online study has been found by most researchers to open the students to vast resources that are found on the internet. Most of the students in the classroom environment rely on the tutors’ notes and explanations for them to understand a given concept.

However, students using the web to study most of the time are likely to be exposed to the vast online educational resources that are available. This results in the students gaining a better understanding of the concept as opposed to those in the classroom environment (Berge & Giles, 2008).

An online study environment allows tutors to update their notes and other materials much faster as compared to the classroom environment. This ensures that the students receive up-to-date information on a given study area.

One of the main benefits of E-learning to institutions is the ability to provide training to a large number of students located in any corner of the world. These students are charged training fees, and this increases the money available to the institution. This extra income can be used to develop new educational facilities, and these will promote education further (Gilli et al., 2002).

Despite the many advantages that online study has in transforming the learning process, there are some challenges imposed by the method. One of the challenges is the technological limitations of the current computers, which affect the quality of the learning materials and the learning process in general.

Low download speed and slow internet connectivity affect the availability of learning materials. This problem is, however, been reduced through the application of new software and hardware elements that have high access speeds. This makes it easier to download learning materials and applications. As computing power increases, better and faster computers are being unveiled, and these will enable better access to online study facilities.

Another disadvantage of online learning as compared to the classroom environment is the lack of feedback from the students. In the classroom environment, students listen to the lecture and ask the tutors questions and clarifications any issues they didn’t understand. In the online environment, the response by the teacher may not be immediate, and students who don’t understand a given concept may find it hard to liaise with the teachers.

The problem is, however, been circumvented by the use of simple explanation methods, slideshows, and encouraging discussion forums between the teachers and students. In the discussion forums, students who don’t understand a concept can leave a comment or question, which will be answered by the tutor later.

Like any other form of learning, online studies have a number of benefits and challenges. It is, therefore, not logical to discredit online learning due to the negative impacts of this training method. Furthermore, the benefits of e-learning far outweigh the challenges.

Conclusion about Online Education

In culmination, a comparative study between classroom study and online study was carried out. The study was done by examining the findings recorded in books and journals on the applicability of online learning to students. The study revealed that online learning has many benefits as compared to conventional learning in the classroom environment.

Though online learning has several challenges, such as a lack of feedback from students and a lack of the proper technology to effectively conduct online learning, these limitations can be overcome by upgrading the E-Leaning systems and the use of online discussion forums and new web-based software.

In conclusion, online learning is beneficial to the students, tutors, and the institution offering these courses. I would therefore recommend that online learning be implemented in all learning institutions, and research on how to improve this learning process should be carried out.

Anon, C. (2001). E-learning is taking off in Europe. Industrial and Commercial Training , 33 (7), 280-282.

Berge, Z., & Giles, L. (2008). Implementing and sustaining e-learning in the workplace. International Journal of Web-Based Learning and Teaching Technologies , 3(3), 44-53.

Burgess, J. & Russell, J. (2003).The effectiveness of distance learning initiatives in organizations. Journal of Vocational Behaviour , 63 (2),289-303.

Conrad, D. (2006). E-Learning and social change, Perspectives on higher education in the digital age . New York: Nova Science Publishers.

Gilli, R., Pulcini, M., Tonchia, S. & Zavagno, M. (2002), E-learning: A strategic Instrument. International Journal of Business Performance Management , 4 (1), 2-4.

Moore, J. L., Camille, D. & Galyen, K. (2011). E-Learning, online learning and distance learning environments: Are they the same? Internet and Higher Education, 14(1), 129-135.

Spector, J., Merrill, M., Merrienboer, J. & Driscoll, M. P. (2008). Handbook of research on educational communications and technology (3rd ed.), New York: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

• General Curriculum for Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities Learners
• Student Survival Guide to Research
• Students With Children and Teachers’ High Expectations
• Nursing Terminologies: NANDA International
• Tutoring Programs for College Students
• Strategies for Motivating Students
• Importance of Sexual Education in School
• New School Program in Seattle
• General Education Courses
• The Syllabus in Preparing for Exams
• Chicago (A-D)
• Chicago (N-B)

IvyPanda. (2018, December 19). Impact of Online Classes on Students Essay. https://ivypanda.com/essays/impact-of-online-courses-on-education/

"Impact of Online Classes on Students Essay." IvyPanda , 19 Dec. 2018, ivypanda.com/essays/impact-of-online-courses-on-education/.

IvyPanda . (2018) 'Impact of Online Classes on Students Essay'. 19 December.

IvyPanda . 2018. "Impact of Online Classes on Students Essay." December 19, 2018. https://ivypanda.com/essays/impact-of-online-courses-on-education/.

1. IvyPanda . "Impact of Online Classes on Students Essay." December 19, 2018. https://ivypanda.com/essays/impact-of-online-courses-on-education/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . "Impact of Online Classes on Students Essay." December 19, 2018. https://ivypanda.com/essays/impact-of-online-courses-on-education/.

IvyPanda uses cookies and similar technologies to enhance your experience, enabling functionalities such as:

• Basic site functions
• Ensuring secure, safe transactions
• Secure account login
• Remembering account, browser, and regional preferences
• Remembering privacy and security settings
• Analyzing site traffic and usage
• Personalized search, content, and recommendations
• Displaying relevant, targeted ads on and off IvyPanda

Please refer to IvyPanda's Cookies Policy and Privacy Policy for detailed information.

Certain technologies we use are essential for critical functions such as security and site integrity, account authentication, security and privacy preferences, internal site usage and maintenance data, and ensuring the site operates correctly for browsing and transactions.

Cookies and similar technologies are used to enhance your experience by:

• Remembering general and regional preferences
• Personalizing content, search, recommendations, and offers

Some functions, such as personalized recommendations, account preferences, or localization, may not work correctly without these technologies. For more details, please refer to IvyPanda's Cookies Policy .

To enable personalized advertising (such as interest-based ads), we may share your data with our marketing and advertising partners using cookies and other technologies. These partners may have their own information collected about you. Turning off the personalized advertising setting won't stop you from seeing IvyPanda ads, but it may make the ads you see less relevant or more repetitive.

Personalized advertising may be considered a "sale" or "sharing" of the information under California and other state privacy laws, and you may have the right to opt out. Turning off personalized advertising allows you to exercise your right to opt out. Learn more in IvyPanda's Cookies Policy and Privacy Policy .

Classroom Q&A

With larry ferlazzo.

In this EdWeek blog, an experiment in knowledge-gathering, Ferlazzo will address readers’ questions on classroom management, ELL instruction, lesson planning, and other issues facing teachers. Send your questions to [email protected]. Read more from this blog.

‘My Online Learning Experience as a Student This Fall Has Been Great’

• Share article

This series highlights contributions from students in my classes.

In Part One , Cathy Liu, Julia Yang, Eliseo Angulo Lopez, and Masihullah Shafiq shared their thoughts.

In Part Two , Luis Diaz, Samantha Nicole Vicedo, Cheyenne Lo, and Manpreet Rana contribute their commentaries.

Today, Lyna Nguyen, Nono Loek, and Rachel Anjel “wrap up” this series...

Teachers ‘have been really understanding’

Lyna Nguyen is a junior at Luther Burbank High School in Sacramento, Calif.

My online learning experience as a student this fall has been great. What’s working for me is I like the 40 minutes in class and 40 minutes asynchronous time to work on our assignments. I feel like teachers have been really understanding and helpful of what we’re going through and how difficult it can be. I find it more relaxing for me because everything is organized through Google Classroom, and it puts a little stress off of me because I disliked feeling disorganized and anxious.

What is not working for me is sometimes my time management is off, and it can be a little stressful how teachers assign work really close to the due date of other class assignments. I’d rather have the assignments’ due dates spread out throughout the week. Sometimes, there are technology difficulties, which can interrupt my learning experience. Everything is also online, so it can take a while communicating with teachers. Overall, communication is delayed, and it can be difficult reaching out to teachers and asking for assistance. Even when I need help with a certain assignment, it can be difficult learning and processing information through a screen. Other than that, I appreciate teachers trying their best to make everything work during this pandemic.

‘Internet classes save time’

Nono Loek is a senior at Luther Burbank High School:

In my experience with internet classes, the good far outweighs the bad. Internet classes save time, and saving time is important to me. The studies are structured much better than I expected. I don’t really see a difference between the online and offline structures. Group work is done in separate rooms, and I think it’s not that bad, because we also learn a lot in online classes.

I sometimes miss the interaction with people, making long-lasting friendships, which is extremely important for all of us. At home, it’s hard to force yourself to take a break. I think this pandemic has t probably transformed education. Most of the things we found to be impossible have now proven to be possible.

I actually really enjoy distance learning, but sometimes I want everything to go back to normal. I also like how I don’t have to wake up at 6 every morning. I like that with learning online, I can relax more, as well as think more. What I don’t like about online learning is that it can take me up to a whole school day (6-7 hours) to finish assignments.

‘I understand teachers are trying to keep us safe’

Rachel Anjel is a senior at Luther Burbank High School:

My online experience this year is kind of boring because I don’t really get to see friends in school anymore. And I thought it was going to be fun using Chromebooks. Sometimes it can be difficult because sometimes the Wi-Fi doesn’t work or it can be slow. I sometimes feel bored because I can’t spend or hang out with my friends.

A good thing is that we have this app called FaceTime, so whenever I’m bored, I can just call my friends. We talk and play while we do our homework and have fun. But at the same time, I think having an online school is bad because I hate sitting in my room the whole six hrs. I remember saying I like online school, but now it’s getting boring. I think it would be better if we went to school. But I understand teachers are trying to keep us safe.

Thanks to Lyna, Nono, and Rachel for their contributions!

(This is the final post in a multipart series. You can see Part One here and Part Two here .)

The question-of-the-week:

What has your online learning experience been as a student this fall? What is working for you and why? What is not working for you and why?

Consider contributing a question to be answered in a future post. You can send one to me at [email protected] . When you send it in, let me know if I can use your real name if it’s selected or if you’d prefer remaining anonymous and have a pseudonym in mind.

You can also contact me on Twitter at @Larryferlazzo .

Education Week has published a collection of posts from this blog, along with new material, in an e-book form. It’s titled Classroom Management Q&As: Expert Strategies for Teaching .

If you missed any of the highlights from the first eight years of this blog, you can see a categorized list below. The list doesn’t include ones from this current year.

• This Year’s Most Popular Q&A Posts
• Race & Racism in Schools
• School Closures & the Coronavirus Crisis
• Classroom-Management Advice
• Best Ways to Begin the School Year
• Best Ways to End the School Year
• Student Motivation & Social-Emotional Learning
• Implementing the Common Core
• Facing Gender Challenges in Education
• Teaching Social Studies.
• Cooperative & Collaborative Learning
• Using Tech in the Classroom
• Student Voices
• Parent Engagment In Schools
• Teaching English-Language Learners
• Reading Instruction
• Writing Instruction
• Education Policy Issues
• Differentiating Instruction
• Math Instruction
• Science Instruction
• Advice for New Teachers
• Author Interviews
• Entering the Teaching Profession
• The Inclusive Classroom
• Learning & the Brain
• Administrator Leadership
• Teacher Leadership
• Relationships in Schools
• Professional Development
• Instructional Strategies
• Best of Classroom Q&A
• Professional Collaboration
• Classroom Organization
• Mistakes in Education
• Project-Based Learning

I am also creating a Twitter list including all contributors to this column

The opinions expressed in Classroom Q&A With Larry Ferlazzo are strictly those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinions or endorsement of Editorial Projects in Education, or any of its publications.

Sign Up for EdWeek Tech Leader

Edweek top school jobs.

Sign Up & Sign In

Have a language expert improve your writing

Check your paper for plagiarism in 10 minutes, generate your apa citations for free.

• Knowledge Base
• College essay

How to Write a College Essay | A Complete Guide & Examples

The college essay can make or break your application. It’s your chance to provide personal context, communicate your values and qualities, and set yourself apart from other students.

A standout essay has a few key ingredients:

• A unique, personal topic
• A compelling, well-structured narrative
• A clear, creative writing style
• Evidence of self-reflection and insight

To achieve this, it’s crucial to give yourself enough time for brainstorming, writing, revision, and feedback.

In this comprehensive guide, we walk you through every step in the process of writing a college admissions essay.

Table of contents

Why do you need a standout essay, start organizing early, choose a unique topic, outline your essay, start with a memorable introduction, write like an artist, craft a strong conclusion, revise and receive feedback, frequently asked questions.

While most of your application lists your academic achievements, your college admissions essay is your opportunity to share who you are and why you’d be a good addition to the university.

Your college admissions essay accounts for about 25% of your application’s total weight一and may account for even more with some colleges making the SAT and ACT tests optional. The college admissions essay may be the deciding factor in your application, especially for competitive schools where most applicants have exceptional grades, test scores, and extracurriculars.

What do colleges look for in an essay?

Admissions officers want to understand your background, personality, and values to get a fuller picture of you beyond your test scores and grades. Here’s what colleges look for in an essay :

• Demonstrated values and qualities
• Vulnerability and authenticity
• Self-reflection and insight
• Creative, clear, and concise writing skills

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

It’s a good idea to start organizing your college application timeline in the summer of your junior year to make your application process easier. This will give you ample time for essay brainstorming, writing, revision, and feedback.

While timelines will vary for each student, aim to spend at least 1–3 weeks brainstorming and writing your first draft and at least 2–4 weeks revising across multiple drafts. Remember to leave enough time for breaks in between each writing and editing stage.

Create an essay tracker sheet

If you’re applying to multiple schools, you will have to juggle writing several essays for each one. We recommend using an essay tracker spreadsheet to help you visualize and organize the following:

• Deadlines and number of essays needed
• Prompt overlap, allowing you to write one essay for similar prompts

You can build your own essay tracker using our free Google Sheets template.

College essay tracker template

Ideally, you should start brainstorming college essay topics the summer before your senior year. Keep in mind that it’s easier to write a standout essay with a unique topic.

If you want to write about a common essay topic, such as a sports injury or volunteer work overseas, think carefully about how you can make it unique and personal. You’ll need to demonstrate deep insight and write your story in an original way to differentiate it from similar essays.

What makes a good topic?

• Meaningful and personal to you
• Uncommon or has an unusual angle
• Reveals something different from the rest of your application

Brainstorming questions

You should do a comprehensive brainstorm before choosing your topic. Here are a few questions to get started:

• What are your top five values? What lived experiences demonstrate these values?
• What adjectives would your friends and family use to describe you?
• What challenges or failures have you faced and overcome? What lessons did you learn from them?
• What makes you different from your classmates?
• What are some objects that represent your identity, your community, your relationships, your passions, or your goals?
• Whom do you admire most? Why?
• What three people have significantly impacted your life? How did they influence you?

How to identify your topic

Here are two strategies for identifying a topic that demonstrates your values:

• Start with your qualities : First, identify positive qualities about yourself; then, brainstorm stories that demonstrate these qualities.
• Start with a story : Brainstorm a list of memorable life moments; then, identify a value shown in each story.

After choosing your topic, organize your ideas in an essay outline , which will help keep you focused while writing. Unlike a five-paragraph academic essay, there’s no set structure for a college admissions essay. You can take a more creative approach, using storytelling techniques to shape your essay.

Two common approaches are to structure your essay as a series of vignettes or as a single narrative.

Vignettes structure

The vignette, or montage, structure weaves together several stories united by a common theme. Each story should demonstrate one of your values or qualities and conclude with an insight or future outlook.

This structure gives the admissions officer glimpses into your personality, background, and identity, and shows how your qualities appear in different areas of your life.

Topic: Museum with a “five senses” exhibit of my experiences

• Introduction: Tour guide introduces my museum and my “Making Sense of My Heritage” exhibit
• Story: Racial discrimination with my eyes
• Lesson: Using my writing to document truth
• Story: Broadway musical interests
• Lesson: Finding my voice
• Story: Smells from family dinner table
• Lesson: Appreciating home and family
• Story: Washing dishes
• Lesson: Finding moments of peace in busy schedule
• Story: Biking with Ava
• Lesson: Finding pleasure in job well done
• Conclusion: Tour guide concludes tour, invites guest to come back for “fall College Collection,” featuring my search for identity and learning.

Single story structure

The single story, or narrative, structure uses a chronological narrative to show a student’s character development over time. Some narrative essays detail moments in a relatively brief event, while others narrate a longer journey spanning months or years.

Single story essays are effective if you have overcome a significant challenge or want to demonstrate personal development.

Topic: Sports injury helps me learn to be a better student and person

• Situation: Football injury
• Challenge: Friends distant, teachers don’t know how to help, football is gone for me
• Turning point: Starting to like learning in Ms. Brady’s history class; meeting Christina and her friends
• My reactions: Reading poetry; finding shared interest in poetry with Christina; spending more time studying and with people different from me
• Insight: They taught me compassion and opened my eyes to a different lifestyle; even though I still can’t play football, I’m starting a new game

Brainstorm creative insights or story arcs

Regardless of your essay’s structure, try to craft a surprising story arc or original insights, especially if you’re writing about a common topic.

Never exaggerate or fabricate facts about yourself to seem interesting. However, try finding connections in your life that deviate from cliché storylines and lessons.

Admissions officers read thousands of essays each year, and they typically spend only a few minutes reading each one. To get your message across, your introduction , or hook, needs to grab the reader’s attention and compel them to read more..

Avoid starting your introduction with a famous quote, cliché, or reference to the essay itself (“While I sat down to write this essay…”).

While you can sometimes use dialogue or a meaningful quotation from a close family member or friend, make sure it encapsulates your essay’s overall theme.

Find an original, creative way of starting your essay using the following two methods.

Option 1: Start with an intriguing hook

Begin your essay with an unexpected statement to pique the reader’s curiosity and compel them to carefully read your essay. A mysterious introduction disarms the reader’s expectations and introduces questions that can only be answered by reading more.

Option 2: Start with vivid imagery

Illustrate a clear, detailed image to immediately transport your reader into your memory. You can start in the middle of an important scene or describe an object that conveys your essay’s theme.

A college application essay allows you to be creative in your style and tone. As you draft your essay, try to use interesting language to enliven your story and stand out .

Show, don’t tell

“Tell” in writing means to simply state a fact: “I am a basketball player.” “ Show ” in writing means to use details, examples, and vivid imagery to help the reader easily visualize your memory: “My heart races as I set up to shoot一two seconds, one second一and score a three-pointer!”

First, reflect on every detail of a specific image or scene to recall the most memorable aspects.

• What are the most prominent images?
• Are there any particular sounds, smells, or tastes associated with this memory?
• What emotion or physical feeling did you have at that time?

Be vulnerable to create an emotional response

You don’t have to share a huge secret or traumatic story, but you should dig deep to express your honest feelings, thoughts, and experiences to evoke an emotional response. Showing vulnerability demonstrates humility and maturity. However, don’t exaggerate to gain sympathy.

Use appropriate style and tone

Make sure your essay has the right style and tone by following these guidelines:

• Use a conversational yet respectful tone: less formal than academic writing, but more formal than texting your friends.
• Prioritize using “I” statements to highlight your perspective.
• Write within your vocabulary range to maintain an authentic voice.
• Write concisely, and use the active voice to keep a fast pace.
• Follow grammar rules (unless you have valid stylistic reasons for breaking them).

You should end your college essay with a deep insight or creative ending to leave the reader with a strong final impression. Your college admissions essay should avoid the following:

• Summarizing what you already wrote
• Stating your hope of being accepted to the school
• Mentioning character traits that should have been illustrated in the essay, such as “I’m a hard worker”

Here are two strategies to craft a strong conclusion.

Option 1: Full circle, sandwich structure

The full circle, or sandwich, structure concludes the essay with an image, idea, or story mentioned in the introduction. This strategy gives the reader a strong sense of closure.

In the example below, the essay concludes by returning to the “museum” metaphor that the writer opened with.

Option 2: Revealing your insight

You can use the conclusion to show the insight you gained as a result of the experiences you’ve described. Revealing your main message at the end creates suspense and keeps the takeaway at the forefront of your reader’s mind.

Revise your essay before submitting it to check its content, style, and grammar. Get feedback from no more than two or three people.

It’s normal to go through several rounds of revision, but take breaks between each editing stage.

Also check out our college essay examples to see what does and doesn’t work in an essay and the kinds of changes you can make to improve yours.

Respect the word count

Most schools specify a word count for each essay , and you should stay within 10% of the upper limit.

Remain under the specified word count limit to show you can write concisely and follow directions. However, don’t write too little, which may imply that you are unwilling or unable to write a thoughtful and developed essay.

Check your content, style, and grammar

• First, check big-picture issues of message, flow, and clarity.
• Then, check for style and tone issues.
• Finally, focus on eliminating grammar and punctuation errors.

Get feedback

Get feedback from 2–3 people who know you well, have good writing skills, and are familiar with college essays.

• Teachers and guidance counselors can help you check your content, language, and tone.
• Friends and family can check for authenticity.
• An essay coach or editor has specialized knowledge of college admissions essays and can give objective expert feedback.

The checklist below helps you make sure your essay ticks all the boxes.

College admissions essay checklist

I’ve organized my essay prompts and created an essay writing schedule.

I’ve done a comprehensive brainstorm for essay topics.

I’ve selected a topic that’s meaningful to me and reveals something different from the rest of my application.

I’ve created an outline to guide my structure.

I’ve crafted an introduction containing vivid imagery or an intriguing hook that grabs the reader’s attention.

I’ve written my essay in a way that shows instead of telling.

I’ve shown positive traits and values in my essay.

I’ve demonstrated self-reflection and insight in my essay.

I’ve used appropriate style and tone .

I’ve concluded with an insight or a creative ending.

I’ve revised my essay , checking my overall message, flow, clarity, and grammar.

I’ve respected the word count , remaining within 10% of the upper word limit.

Congratulations!

It looks like your essay ticks all the boxes. A second pair of eyes can help you take it to the next level – Scribbr's essay coaches can help.

Colleges want to be able to differentiate students who seem similar on paper. In the college application essay , they’re looking for a way to understand each applicant’s unique personality and experiences.

Your college essay accounts for about 25% of your application’s weight. It may be the deciding factor in whether you’re accepted, especially for competitive schools where most applicants have exceptional grades, test scores, and extracurricular track records.

A standout college essay has several key ingredients:

• A unique, personally meaningful topic
• A memorable introduction with vivid imagery or an intriguing hook
• Specific stories and language that show instead of telling
• Vulnerability that’s authentic but not aimed at soliciting sympathy
• Clear writing in an appropriate style and tone
• A conclusion that offers deep insight or a creative ending

While timelines will differ depending on the student, plan on spending at least 1–3 weeks brainstorming and writing the first draft of your college admissions essay , and at least 2–4 weeks revising across multiple drafts. Don’t forget to save enough time for breaks between each writing and editing stage.

You should already begin thinking about your essay the summer before your senior year so that you have plenty of time to try out different topics and get feedback on what works.

Most college application portals specify a word count range for your essay, and you should stay within 10% of the upper limit to write a developed and thoughtful essay.

You should aim to stay under the specified word count limit to show you can follow directions and write concisely. However, don’t write too little, as it may seem like you are unwilling or unable to write a detailed and insightful narrative about yourself.

If no word count is specified, we advise keeping your essay between 400 and 600 words.

Is this article helpful?

Other students also liked.

• What Do Colleges Look For in an Essay? | Examples & Tips
• College Essay Format & Structure | Example Outlines
• How to Revise Your College Admissions Essay | Examples

More interesting articles

• Choosing Your College Essay Topic | Ideas & Examples
• College Essay Examples | What Works and What Doesn't
• Common App Essays | 7 Strong Examples with Commentary
• How Long Should a College Essay Be? | Word Count Tips
• How to Apply for College | Timeline, Templates & Checklist
• How to End a College Admissions Essay | 4 Winning Strategies
• How to Make Your College Essay Stand Out | Tips & Examples
• How to Research and Write a "Why This College?" Essay
• How to Write a College Essay Fast | Tips & Examples
• How to Write a Diversity Essay | Tips & Examples
• How to Write a Great College Essay Introduction | Examples
• How to Write a Scholarship Essay | Template & Example
• How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay | Examples
• Style and Tone Tips for Your College Essay | Examples
• US College Essay Tips for International Students

"I thought AI Proofreading was useless but.."

I've been using Scribbr for years now and I know it's a service that won't disappoint. It does a good job spotting mistakes”

What are your chances of acceptance?

Calculate for all schools, your chance of acceptance.

Your chancing factors

Extracurriculars.

12 Great University of California Essay Examples

What’s covered, essay #1: leadership, essay #2: creativity, essay #3: creativity, essay #4: creativity, essay #5: talent, essay #6: talent, essay #7: academic interest, essay #8: academic interest, essay #9: community, essay #10: community, essay #11: community, essay #12: community.

The University of California system is comprised of nine undergraduate universities, and is one of the most prestigious public school systems in the country. The UC schools have their own application system, and students must respond to four of eight personal insight questions in 350 words each. Every UC school you apply to receives the same application and essays, so it’s important that your responses accurately represent your personality and writing abilities. 

In this post, we’ll share some UC essay examples and go over what they did well and where they could improve. We will also point you to free resources you can use to improve your college essays. 

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Read our guide to the UC personal insight questions for more tips on writing strong essays for each of the prompts.

Prompt: Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time. (350 words)

1400 lines of code. 6 weeks. 1 Pizza.

I believe pizza makers are the backbone of society. Without pizza, life as we know it would cease to exist. From a toddler’s birthday party to President Obama’s sporadic campaigning cravings, these 8 slices of pure goodness cleverly seep into every one of our lives; yet, we never talk about it. In a very cheesy way, I find representation in a pizza maker. 

The most perplexing section of physiology is deciphering electrocardiograms. According to our teacher, this was when most students hit their annual trough. We had textbooks and worksheets, but viewing printed rhythms and attempting to recognize them in real-time is about as straining as watching someone eat pizza crust-first. Furthermore, online simulators were vastly over-engineered, featuring complex interfaces foreign to high-school students.

Eventually, I realized the only way to pull myself out of the sauce was by creating my own tools. This was also the first year I took a programming course, so I decided to initiate a little hobbyist experiment by extrapolating knowledge from Computer Science and Physiology to code and share my own Electrocardiogram Simulator. To enhance my program, I went beyond the textbook and classroom by learning directly from Java API – the programmer’s Bible.

The algorithms I wrote not only simulated rhythms in real-time but also actively engaged with the user, allowing my classmates and I to obtain a comprehensive understanding of the curriculum. Little did I know that a small project born out of desperation would eventually become a tool adopted by my teacher to serve hundreds of students in the future.

Like pizza, people will reap the benefits of my app over and over again, and hardly anyone will know its maker. Being a leader doesn’t always mean standing at the front of rallies, giving speeches, and leading organizations. Yes, I have done all three, but this app taught me leaders are also found behind-the-scenes, solving problems in unimaginable ways and fulfilling the hidden, yet crucial niches of the world. 

1400 lines of code, and 6 weeks later, it’s time to order a pizza. 

What the Essay Did Well

This is a great essay because it is both engaging and informative. What exactly does it inform us about? The answer: the personality, work ethic, and achievements of this student (exactly what admissions officers want to hear about).

With regards to personality, the pizza through-line—which notably starts the essay, ends the essay, and carries us through the essay—speaks volumes about this student. They are admittedly “cheesy,” but they appear unabashedly themself. They own their goofiness. That being said, the student’s pizza connections are also fitting and smoothly advance their points—watching someone eat pizza crust-first is straining and pizza is an invention that hardly anyone can identify the maker of. 

While we learn about this student’s fun personality in this essay, we also learn about their work ethic. A student who takes the initiative to solve a problem that no one asked them to solve is the kind of student an admissions officer wants to admit. The phrase “I decided to initiate a little hobbyist experiment” alone tells us that this student is a curious go-getter.

Lastly, this student tells us about their achievements in the last two paragraphs. Not only did they take the initiative to create this program, but it was also successful. On top of that, it’s notable how this student’s accomplishments as a leader defy the traditional expectations people have for leaders. The student’s ability to demonstrate their untraditional leadership path is an achievement in itself that sets the student apart form other applicants.

What Could Be Improved

This is a strong essay as is, but the one way this student could take it above and beyond would be to tell less and show more. To really highlight the student’s writing ability, the essay should  show the reader all the details it’s currently telling us. For example, these sentences primarily tell the reader what happened: “The most perplexing section of physiology is deciphering electrocardiograms. According to our teacher, this was when most students hit their annual trough.” 

Rewriting this sentence to show the reader the student’s impetus for creating their app could look like this: “When my teacher flashed the electrocardiogram on the screen, my once attentive physiology class became a sea of blank stares and furrowed brows.” This sentence still conveys the key details—student’s in the physiology class found electrocardiograms to be the hardest unit of the year—but it does so in a far more descriptive way. Implementing this exercise of rewriting sentences to show what happened throughout the piece would elevate the entire essay.

Prompt: Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side. (350 words)

For the past few years, participating in debate has been one of the foremost expressions of my creativity. Nothing is as electrifying as an Asian parliamentary-style debate. Each team is given only thirty minutes to prepare seven-minute speeches to either support or oppose the assigned motion. Given the immense time pressure, this is where my creativity shines most brightly.

To craft the most impactful and convincing argument, I have to consider the context of the motion, different stakeholders, the goals we want to achieve, the mechanisms to reach those goals, and so much more. I have to frame these arguments effectively and paint a compelling and cohesive world to sway my listeners to my side on both an emotional and logical level. For example, In a debate about the implementation of rice importation in the Philippines, I had to frequently switch between the macro perspective by discussing the broad economic implications of the policy and the micro perspective by painting a picture of the struggles that local rice farmers would experience when forcefully thrust into an increasingly competitive global economy. It’s a tough balancing act.

To add to the challenge, there is an opposing team on the other side of the room hell-bent on disproving everything I say. They generate equally plausible sounding arguments, and my mission is to react on the spot to dispel their viewpoints and build up our team’s case.

When two debate teams, both well-prepared and hungry for victory, face off and try to out-think one another, they clash to form a sixty-minute thunderstorm raining down fierce arguments and rebuttals. They fill up a room with unbelievable energy. After several years of debate, I have developed the capacity to still a room of fury and chaos with nothing but my words and wit.

Debate has been instrumental in shaping me into the person I am today. Because of debate, I have become a quicker and stronger thinker. Lightning quick on my feet, I am ready to thoroughly and passionately defend my beliefs at a moment’s notice.

This prompt is about creativity, though its wording emphasizes how students aren’t required to talk about typically-creative subjects. That said, it might take a bit more work and explanation (even creativity, one could say) to position a logical process as creative. This student’s main strength is the way they convince the reader that debate is creative.

First, they identify how “Asian parliamentary-style debate” differs from other forms of debate, emphasizing how time constraints necessitate the use of creativity. Then, they explain how both the argument’s content (the goals and solutions they outline) and the argument’s composition (the way they frame the argument) must be creatively orchestrated to be convincing. 

To drive home the point that debate is a creative process, this student provides an example of how they structured their argument about rice importation in the Philippines. This essay is successful because, after reading it, an admissions officer has no doubt that this student can combine logic and creativity to think intellectually.

One aspect of this essay that could be improved is the language use. Although there are some creative metaphors like the “sixty-minute thunderstorm raining down fierce arguments”, the essay is lacking the extra oomph and wow-factor that carefully chosen diction provides. In the second paragraph, the student repeats the phrase “I have to” three different times when stronger, more active verbs could have been used.

Essays should always reflect the student’s natural voice and shouldn’t sound like every word came straight out of a thesaurus, but that doesn’t mean they can’t incorporate a bit of colorful language. If this student took the time to go through their essay and ask themself if an overused word could be replaced with a more exciting one, it would make the essay much more interesting to read.

As I open the door to the Makerspace, I am greeted by a sea of cubicle-like machines and I watch eagerly, as one of them completes the final layer of my print.

Much like any scientific experiment, my countless failures in the Makerspace – hours spent designing a print, only to have it disintegrate – were my greatest teachers. I learned, the hard way, what types of shapes and patterns a 3D printer would play nice to. Then, drawing inspiration from the engineering method, I developed a system for myself – start with a solid foundation and add complexity with each iteration – a flourish here, a flying buttress there. 

But it wasn’t until the following summer, vacationing on a beach inundated with plastic, that the “aha” moment struck. In an era where capturing people’s attention in a split-second is everything, what better way to draw awareness to the plastic problem than with quirky 3D-printed products? By the time I had returned home, I had a business case on my hands and a desire to make my impact.

Equipped with vital skills from the advanced math-and-science courses I had taken in sophomore year, I began applying these to my growing business. Using my AP Chemistry analytical laboratory skills, I devised a simple water bath experiment to test the biodegradability claims of 3D-printer filaments from different manufacturers, guaranteeing that my products could serve as both a statement and play their part for our planet. The optimization techniques I had learned in AP Calculus were put to good use, as I determined the most space-efficient packaging for my products, reducing my dependence on unsustainable filler material. Even my designs were tweaked and riffed on to reflect my newfound maturity and keen eye for aesthetics.

My business is still going strong today, raising $1000 to date. I attribute this success to a fateful spark of creative inspiration, which has, and will, continue to inspire me to weave together multiple disciplines to address issues as endemic as the plastic problem. 

This essay begins with a simple, yet highly effective hook. It catches readers’ attention by only giving a hint about the essay’s main topic, and being a standalone paragraph makes it all the more intriguing. 

The next paragraph then begins with a seamless transition that ties back to the Makerspace. The essay goes on to show the writer’s creative side and how it has developed over time. Rather than directly stating “I am most creative when I am working on my business,” the writer tells the story of their creativity while working with 3-D printers and vacationing on the beach. 

It is the “aha” moment that perhaps responds to the prompt best. Here we get to see the writer create a new idea on the spot. The next two paragraphs then show the writer executing on their idea in great detail. Small and specific details, such as applying analytical laboratory skills from AP Chemistry, make the writer’s creativity come to life. 

From start to finish, this essay shows that the key to writing a stellar response to this prompt is to fill your writing with details and vivid imagery. 

The second to last paragraph of this essay focuses a bit too much on how the writer built their business. Though many of these details show the writer’s creativity in action, a few of them could be restated to make the connection to creativity clearer. The last sentences could be rewritten like so: 

Working on my business was where my creativity blossomed. In my workshop, optimization techniques that I learned in AP Calculus became something new — the basis for space-efficient packaging for my products that reduced my dependence on unsustainable filler material…

Profusely sweating after trying on what felt like a thousand different outfits, I collapsed on the floor in exasperation. The heaping pile of clothes on my bed stared me down in disdain; with ten minutes left to spare before the first day of seventh grade, I let go of my screaming thoughts and settled on the very first outfit I tried on: my favorite.

Donning a neon pink dress, that moment marked the first time I chose expression over fear. Being one of the few Asians in my grade, clothing was my source of disguise. I looked to the bold Stacy London of What Not to Wear for daily inspiration, but, in actuality, I dressed to conceal my uniqueness so I wouldn’t be noticed for my race. Wearing jeans and a t-shirt, I envied the popular girls who hiked their shorts up just a few inches higher than dress code allowed and flaunted Uggs decorated with plastic jewels, a statement that Stacy London would have viewed as heinous and my mother impractical. 

However, entering school that day and the days after, each compliment I received walking down the hallways slowly but surely broke down the armored shield. Morphing into an outlet to amplify my voice and creativity, dressing up soon became what I looked forward to each morning. I was awarded best dressed the year after that during my middle school graduation, a recognition most would scoff at. But, to me, that flimsy paper certificate was a warm embrace telling me that I was valued for my originality and expression. I was valued for my differences. 

Confidence was what I found and is now an essential accessory to every outfit I wear. Taking inspiration from vintage, simplistic silhouettes and Asian styles, I adorn my body’s canvas with a variety of fabrics and vibrant colors, no longer depriving it of the freedom to self expression and cultural exploration. I hope that my future will open new doors for me, closet doors included, at the University of California with opportunities to intertwine creativity with my identity even further.

Colorful language and emotion are conveyed powerfully in this essay, which is one of its key strengths. We can see this in the first paragraph, where the writer communicates that they were feeling searing judgment by using a metaphor: “the heaping pile of clothes on my bed stared me down.” The writer weaves other rich phrases into the essay — for example, “my screaming thoughts” — to show readers their emotions. All of these writing choices are much more moving than plainly stating “I was nervous.”

The essay moves on to tell a story that responds to the prompt in a unique way. While typical responses will be about a very direct example of expressing creativity, e.g. oil painting, this essay has a fittingly creative take on the prompt. The story also allows the writer to avoid a common pitfall — talking more about the means of being creative rather than how those means allow you to express yourself. In other words, make sure to avoid talking about the act of oil painting so much that your essay loses focus on what painting means to you.

The last sentence of the essay is one more part to emulate. “I hope that my future will open new doors for me, closet doors included…” is a well-crafted, flawlessly succinct metaphor that looks to the future while connecting the end of the essay to its beginning. The metaphors are then juxtaposed with a summary of the essay’s main topic: “intertwine creativity with my identity.” 

This essay’s main areas for improvement are grammatical. What Not to Wear should be italicized, “self-expression” should be hyphenated, and the last sentence could use the following tweaks to make it less of a run-on: “I hope that my future will open new doors for me, closet doors included, at the University of California. There, I will have opportunities to intertwine creativity with my identity even further.”

Since identity is the main topic of this essay, it would also be fitting for the writer to go into more depth about it. The immediate takeaways from the essay are that the writer is Asian and interested in fashion — however, more descriptions could be added to these parts. For example, the writer could replace Asian with Laotian-American and change a sentence in the second to last paragraph to “dressing up in everything from bell bottom jeans to oversized flannel shirts soon became what I looked forward to each morning.”

Prompt: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (350 words)

Let’s fast-forward time. Strides were made toward racial equality. Healthcare is accessible to all; however, one issue remains. Our aquatic ecosystems are parched with dead coral from ocean acidification. Climate change has prevailed.

Rewind to the present day.

My activism skills are how I express my concerns for the environment. Whether I play on sandy beaches or rest under forest treetops, nature offers me an escape from the haste of the world. When my body is met by trash in the ocean or my nose is met by harmful pollutants, Earth’s pain becomes my own. 

Substituting coffee grinds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale. I often found performative activism to be ineffective when communicating climate concerns. My days of reposting awareness graphics on social media never filled the ambition I had left to put my activism skills to greater use. I decided to share my ecocentric worldview with a coalition of environmentalists and host a climate change rally outside my high school.

Meetings were scheduled where I informed students about the unseen impact they have on the oceans and local habitual communities. My fingers were cramped from all the constant typing and investigating of micro causes of the Pacific Waste Patch, creating reusable flyers, displaying steps people could take from home in reducing their carbon footprint. I aided my fellow environmentalists in translating these flyers into other languages, repeating this process hourly, for five days, up until rally day. 

It was 7:00 AM. The faces of 100 students were shouting, “The climate is changing, why can’t we?” I proudly walked on the dewy grass, grabbing the microphone, repeating those same words. The rally not only taught me efficient methods of communication but it echoed my environmental activism to the masses. The City of Corona would be the first of many cities to see my activism, as more rallies were planned for various parts of SoCal. My once unfulfilled ambition was fueled by my tangible activism, understanding that it takes more than one person to make an environmental impact.

One of the largest strengths of this response is its speed. From the very beginning, we are invited to “fast-forward” and “rewind” with the writer. Then, after we focus ourselves in the present, this writer keeps their quick pace with sentences like “Substituting coffee grounds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale.” A common essay-writing blunder is using a predictable structure that loses the attention of the reader, but this unique pacing keeps things interesting.

Another positive of this essay is how their passion for environmental activism shines through. The essay begins by describing the student’s connection to nature (“nature offers me an escape from the haste of the world”), moves into discussing the personal actions they have taken (“substituting coffee grounds as fertilizer”), and then explains the rally the student hosted. While the talent the student is writing about is their ability to inspire others to fight against climate change, establishing the personal affinity towards nature and individual steps they took demonstrate the development of their passion. This makes their talent appear much more significant and unique. 

This essay could be improved by being more specific about what this student’s talent is. There is no sentence that directly states what this student considers to be their talent. Although the essay is still successful at displaying the student’s personality, interests, and ambition, by not explicitly mentioning their talent, they leave it up to the reader’s interpretation.

Depending on how quickly they read the essay or how focused they are, there’s a possibility the reader will miss the key talent the student wanted to convey. Making sure to avoid spoon-feeding the answer to their audience, the student should include a short sentence that lays out what they view as their main talent.

At six, Mama reads me a story for the first time. I listen right up until Peter Pan talks about the stars in the night sky. “What’s the point of stars if they can’t be part of something?” Mama looks at me strangely before closing the book. “Sometimes, looking on is more helpful than actively taking part. Besides, stars listen- like you. You’re a good listener, aren’t you?” I nod. At eleven, my sister confides in me for the first time. She’s always been different, in a way even those ‘mind doctors’ could never understand. I don’t understand either, but I do know that I like my sister. She’s mean to me, but not like people are to her. She tells me how she sees the world, and chokes over her words in a struggle to speak. She trusts me, and that makes me happy. So, I listen. I don’t speak; this isn’t a story where I speak. At sixteen, I find myself involved with an organization that provides education to rural children. Dakshata is the first person I’ve tutored in Hindi. She’s also my favorite. So, when she interrupts me mid-lesson one evening, lips trembling and eyes filling with tears, I decide to put my pen down and listen. I don’t speak; I don’t take part in this story. Later, as I hug the girl, I tell her about the stars and how her mother is among their kind- unable to speak yet forever willing to listen. Dakshata now loves the stars as much as I do. At seventeen, I realize that the first thing that comes to my mind when someone asks me about a skill I possess is my ability to listen. Many don’t see it as a skill, and I wouldn’t ask them to either, but it’s important. When you listen, you see, you need not necessarily understand, but you do comprehend. You empathize on a near-cosmic level with the people around you and learn so much more than you ever thought possible. Everything is a part of something- even the stars with their ears.

The essay as a whole is an excellent example of narrative-based writing. The narrative begins with a captivating hook. The first sentence catches the reader by surprise, since it does not directly respond to the prompt by naming the writer’s greatest talent or skill. Instead, it tells a childhood story which does not seem to be related to a skill at first. This creates intrigue, and the second sentence adds to it by introducing a conflict. It causes readers to wonder why Peter Pan’s stargazing would make a six year old stop listening — hooked into the story, they continue reading.

The writer continues to create a moving narrative by using dialogue. Dialogue allows the writer to show rather than tell , which is a highly effective way to make an essay convey emotion and keep readers’ attention. The writer also shows their story by using language such as “mind doctors” instead of “psychologists” — this immerses readers in the author’s perspective as an 11 year old at the time. 

Two motifs, or recurring themes, tie the essay together: listening and looking at the stars. The last paragraph powerfully concludes the essay by explaining these themes and circling back to the introduction.

Crafting transitions is one area where this essay could be improved. The paragraph after “I nod” begins abruptly, and without any sentence to connect the writer’s dialogue at age six with her experiences at age 11. One way to make the transition smoother would be to begin the paragraph after “I nod” with “I try to be a good listener again at eleven, when my sister confides in me for the first time.”

This essay would also be more impactful if the writer explained what they aspire to do with their ability to listen in the future. While it is most important for your essay to explain how your past experiences have made you who you are in the present, looking towards the future allows admissions readers to imagine the impact you might make after graduation. The writer could do this in the last paragraph of their essay by writing the following: “Many don’t see it as a skill, and I wouldn’t ask them to either, but I find it important — especially as an aspiring social worker.”

Prompt: Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. (350 words)

I distinctly remember the smile on Perela’s face when she found out her mother would be nursed back to health. I first met Perela and her mother at the Lestonnac Free Clinic in San Bernardino where I volunteered as a Spanish translator. I was in awe of the deep understanding of biology that the medical team employed to discover solutions. Despite having no medical qualifications of my own, I realized that by exercising my abilities to communicate and empathize, I could serve as a source of comfort and encouragement for Perela and her mother. The opportunity to combine my scientific curiosity and passion for caring for people cultivated my interest in a career as a physician.

To further explore this interest, I attended a summer medical program at Georgetown University. I participated in lectures on circulation through the heart, practiced stitches on a chicken leg, and assisted in giving CPR to a dummy in the patient simulation laboratory. Every fact about the human body I learned brought with it ten new questions for me to research. I consistently stayed after each lecture to gain insight about how cells, tissues, and organs all work together to carry out immensely complicated functions. The next year, in my AP Biology class, I was further amazed with the interconnected biological systems as I learned about the relationships between the human body and ecosystems. I discussed with my teacher how environmental changes will impact human health and how we must broaden our perspectives to use medicine to tackle these issues.

By integrating environmental and medical science, we can develop effective solutions to reduce the adverse effects of environmental degradation that Perela’s mother may have faced unintentionally. I want to go into the medical field so I can employ a long-term approach to combat biology’s hidden anomalies with a holistic viewpoint. I look forward to utilizing my undergraduate classes and extracurriculars to prepare for medical school so I can fight for both health care and environmental protection.

This student primarily answers the prompt in their middle paragraph as they describe their experience at a summer medical program as well as their science coursework in high school. This content shows their academic curiosity and rigor, yet the best part of the essay isn’t the student’s response to the prompt. The best part of this essay is the way the student positions their interest in medicine as authentic and unique.

The student appears authentic when they admit that they haven’t always been interested in medical school. Many applicants have wanted to be doctors their whole life, but this student is different. They were just in a medical office to translate and help, then got hooked on the profession and took that interest to the next level by signing up for a summer program.

Additionally, this student positions themself as unique as they describe the specifics of their interest in medicine, emphasizing their concern with the ways medicine and the environment interact. This is also refreshing!

Of course, you should always answer the prompt, but it’s important to remember that you can make room within most prompts to say what you want and show off unique aspects of yourself—just as this student did.

One thing this student should be careful of is namedropping Georgetown for the sake of it. There is no problem in discussing a summer program they attended that furthered their interest in medicine, but there is a problem when the experience is used to build prestige. Admissions officers already know that this student attended a summer program at Georgetown because it’s on their application. The purpose of the essay is to show  why attending the program was a formative moment in their interest.

The essay gets at the  why a bit when it discusses staying after class to learn more about specific topics, but the student could have gone further in depth. Rather than explaining the things the student did during the program, like stitching chicken legs and practicing CPR, they should have continued the emotional reflection from the first paragraph by describing what they thought and felt when they got hands-on medical experience during the program. 

Save describing prestigious accomplishments for your extracurriculars and resume; your essay is meant to demonstrate what made you you.

I love spreadsheets.

It’s weird, I know. But there’s something endlessly fascinating about taking a bunch of raw numbers, whipping and whacking them into different shapes and forms with formulas and equations to reveal hidden truths about the universe. The way I like to think about it is that the universe has an innate burning desire to tell us its stories. The only issue is its inability to talk with us directly. Most human stories are written in simple words and letters, but the tales of the universe are encrypted in numbers and relationships, which require greater effort to decode to even achieve basic comprehension. After all, it took Newton countless experimentation to discover the love story between mass and gravitation.

In middle school, whenever I opened a spreadsheet, I felt like I was part of this big journey towards understanding the universe. It took me a couple of years, but I eventually found out that my interest had a name: Data Science. With this knowledge, I began to read extensively about the field and took online courses in my spare time. I found out that the spreadsheets I had been using was just the tip of the iceberg. As I gained more experience, I started using more powerful tools like R (a statistical programming language) which allowed me to use sophisticated methods like linear regressions and decision trees. It opened my eyes to new ways to understand reality and changed the way I approached the world.

The thing I love most about data science is its versatility. It doesn’t matter if the data at hand is about the airflow on an owl’s wing or the living conditions of communities most crippled by poverty. I am able to utilize data science to dissect and analyze issues in any field. Each new method of analysis yields different stories, with distinct actors, settings, and plots. I’m an avid reader of the stories of the universe, and one day I will help the world by letting the universe write its own narrative.

This is an essay that draws the reader in. The student’s candid nature and openness truly allows us to understand why they are fascinated with spreadsheets themself, which in turn makes the reader appreciate the meaning of this interest in the student’s life. 

First, the student engages readers with their conversational tone, beginning “I love spreadsheets. It’s weird, I know,” followed shortly after by the phrase “whipping and whacking.” Then, they introduce their idea to us, explaining how the universe is trying to tell us something through numbers and saying that Newton discovered “the love story between mass and gravitation,” and we find ourselves clearly following along. They put us right there with them, on their team, also trying to discover the secrets of the universe. It is this bond between the student and the reader that makes the essay so engaging and worth reading.

Because the essay is focused on the big picture, the reader gets a sense of the wide-eyed wonderment this student experiences when they handle and analyze data. The student takes us on the “big journey towards understanding the universe” through the lens of Data Science. Explaining both the tools the student has used, like R and statistical regression, and the ideas the student has explored, like owl’s wings and poverty, demonstrates how this student fits into the micro and macro levels of Data Science. The reader gets a complete picture of how this student could change the world through this essay—something admissions officers always want to see.

The biggest thing that would improve this essay is an anecdote. As it’s written, the essay looks at Data Science from a more theoretical or aspirational perspective. The student explains all that Data Science can enable, but besides for explaining that they started coding with spreadsheets and R, they provide very little personal experience working with Data Science. This is where an anecdote would elevate the essay.

Adding a story about the first data set they examined or an independent project they undertook as a hobby would have elicited more emotion and allowed for the student to showcase their accomplishments and way of thinking. For example, they could delve into the feeling of enlightenment that came from first discovering a pattern in the universe. Or maybe they could describe how analyzing data was the catalyst that led them to reach out to local businesses to help them improve their revenue. 

If you have an impactful and enduring interest, such as this student does, you will have at least one anecdote you could include in your essay. You’ll find that essays with anecdotes are able to work in more emotional reflection that make the essay more memorable and the student more likable.

Prompt: What have you done to make your community a better place? (350 words)

Blinking sweat from my eyes, I raised my chin up to the pullup bar one last time before dropping down, my muscles trembling. But despite my physical exhaustion at the end of the workout, mentally, I felt reinvigorated and stronger than ever.

Minutes later, I sat at my computer, chatting with my friends about our first week in quarantine. After listening to numerous stories concerning boredom and loneliness, it struck me that I could use my passion for fitness to help my friends—I jumped at the chance to do so. 

After scouring the internet for the most effective exercises and fitness techniques, I began hosting Zoom workouts, leading friends, family, and anyone else who wanted to join in several fun exercises each week. I hoped these meetings would uplift anyone struggling during quarantine, whether from loneliness, uncertainty, or loss of routine. I created weekly workout plans, integrating cardio, strength, and flexibility exercises into each. Using what I learned from skating, I incorporated off-ice training exercises into the plans and added stretching routines to each session. 

Although many members were worried that they wouldn’t be able to complete exercises as well as others and hesitated to turn their cameras on, I encouraged them to show themselves on screen, knowing we’d only support one another. After all, the “face-to-face” interactions we had while exercising were what distinguished our workouts from others online; and I hoped that they would lead us to grow closer as a community. 

As we progressed, I saw a new-found eagerness in members to show themselves on camera, enjoying the support of others. Seeing how far we had all come was immensely inspiring: I watched people who couldn’t make it through one circuit finish a whole workout and ask for more; instead of staying silent during meetings, they continually asked for tips and corrections.

Despite the limitations placed on our interactions by computer screens, we found comfort in our collective efforts, the camaraderie between us growing with every workout. For me, it confirmed the strength we find in community and the importance of helping one another through tough times.

This essay accomplishes three main goals: it tells a story of how this student took initiative, it explores the student’s values, and it demonstrates their emotional maturity. We really get a sense of how this student improved their community while also gaining a large amount of insight into what type of person this student is.

With regards to initiative, this student writes about a need they saw in their community and the steps they took to satisfy that need. They describe the extensive thought that went into their decisions as they outline the planning of their classes and their unique decision to incorporate skating techniques in at-home workouts.

Additionally, they explore their values, including human connection. The importance of connection to this student is obvious throughout the essay as they write about their desire “to grow closer as a community.” It is particularly apparent with their final summarizing sentence: “For me, it confirmed the strength we find in community and the importance of helping one another through tough times.”

Lastly, this student positions themself as thoughtful when they recognize the way that embarrassment can get in the way of forming community. They do this through the specific example of feeling embarrassment when turning on one’s camera during a video call—a commonly-felt feeling. This ability to recognize fear of embarrassment as an obstacle to camaraderie shows maturity on the part of this applicant. 

This essay already has really descriptive content, a strong story, and a complete answer to the prompt, however there is room for every essay to improve. In this case, the student could have worked more descriptive word choice and figurative language into their essay to make it more engaging and impressive. You want your college essay to showcase your writing abilities as best as possible, while still sounding like you.

One literary device that would have been useful in this essay is a conceit or an extended metaphor . Essays that utilize conceits tend to begin with a metaphor, allude to the metaphor during the body of the paragraph, and end by circling back to the original metaphor. All together, it makes for a cohesive essay that is easy to follow and gives the reader a satisfying opening and conclusion to the essay.

The idea at the heart of this essay—working out to strengthen a community—would make for a great conceit. By changing the anecdote at the beginning to maybe reflect the lack of strength the student felt when working out alone and sprinkling in words and phrases that allude to strength and exercise during the essay, the last sentence (“For me, it confirmed the strength we find in community and the importance of helping one another through tough times”) would feel like a fulfilling end to the conceit rather than just a clever metaphor thrown in. 

Prompt: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? (350 words)

The scent of eucalyptus caressed my nose in a gentle breeze. Spring had arrived. Senior class activities were here. As a sophomore, I noticed a difference between athletic and academic seniors at my high school; one received recognition while the other received silence. I wanted to create an event celebrating students academically-committed to four-years, community colleges, trades schools, and military programs. This event was Academic Signing Day.

The leadership label, “Events Coordinator,” felt heavy on my introverted mind. I usually was setting up for rallies and spirit weeks, being overlooked around the exuberant nature of my peers. 

I knew a change of mind was needed; I designed flyers, painted posters, presented powerpoints, created student-led committees, and practiced countless hours for my introductory speech. Each committee would play a vital role on event day: one dedicated to refreshments, another to technology, and one for decorations. The fourth-month planning was a laborious joy, but I was still fearful of being in the spotlight. Being acknowledged by hundreds of people was new to me. 

The day was here. Parents filled the stands of the multi-purpose room. The atmosphere was tense; I could feel the angst building in my throat, worried about the impression I would leave. Applause followed each of the 400 students as they walked to their college table, indicating my time to speak. 

I walked up to the stand, hands clammy, expression tranquil, my words echoing to the audience. I thought my speech would be met by the sounds of crickets; instead, smiles lit up the stands, realizing my voice shone through my actions. I was finally coming out of my shell. The floor was met by confetti as I was met by the sincerity of staff, students, and parents, solidifying the event for years to come. 

Academic students were no longer overshadowed. Their accomplishments were equally recognized to their athletic counterparts. The school culture of athletics over academics was no longer imbalanced. Now, everytime I smell eucalyptus, it is a friendly reminder that on Academic Signing Day, not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.

This is a good essay because it describes the contribution the student made to their community and the impact that experience had on shaping their personality. Admissions officers get to see what this student is capable of and how they have grown, which is important to demonstrate in your essays. Throughout the essay there is a nice balance between focusing on planning the event and the emotions it elicited from this student, which is summed up in the last sentence: “not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.”

With prompts like this one (which is essentially a Community Service Essay ) students sometimes take very small contributions to their community and stretch them—oftentimes in a very obvious way. Here, the reader can see the importance of Academic Signing Day to the community and the student, making it feel like a genuine and enjoyable experience for all involved. Including details like the four months of planning the student oversaw, the specific committees they delegated tasks to, and the hundreds of students and parents that attended highlights the skills this student possesses to plan and execute such a large event.

Another positive aspect of this essay is how the student’s emotions are intertwined throughout the essay. We see this student go from being a shy figure in the background to the confident architect of a celebrated community event, all due to their motivation to create Academic Signing Day. The student consistently shows throughout the essay, instead of telling us what happened. One example is when they convey their trepidation to public speaking in this sentence: “I walked up to the stand, hands clammy, expression tranquil, my words echoing to the audience. I thought my speech would be met by the sounds of crickets.”

Employing detailed descriptions of feelings, emotions, fears, and body language all contribute to an essay that reveals so much in subtle ways. Without having to be explicitly told, the reader learns the student is ambitious, organized, a leader, and someone who deeply values academic recognition when they read this essay.

While this essay has many positives, there are a couple of things the student could work on. The first is to pay more attention to grammar. There was one obvious typo where the student wrote “the fourth-month planning was a laborious joy”, but there were also many sentences that felt clunky and disjointed. Each and every essay you submit should put your best foot forward and impress admissions officers with your writing ability, but typos immediately diminish your credibility as a writer and sincerity as an applicant.

It’s important to read through your essay multiple times and consider your specific word choice—does each word serve a purpose, could a sentence be rewritten to be less wordy, etc? However, it’s also important you have at least one other person edit your essay. Had this student given their essay to a fresh set of eyes they might have caught the typo and other areas in need of improvement.

Additionally, this student began and ended the essay with the smell of eucalyptus. Although this makes for an intriguing hook, it has absolutely nothing to do with the actual point of the essay. It’s great to start your essay with an evocative anecdote or figurative language, but it needs to relate to your topic. Rather than wasting words on eucalyptus, a much stronger hook could have been the student nervously walking up to the stage with clammy hands and a lump in their throat. Beginning the essay with a descriptive sentence that puts us directly into the story with the student would draw the reader in and get them excited about the topic at hand.

Prompt: What have you done to make your school or community a better place? (350 words) 

“I wish my parents understood.” Sitting at the lunch table, I listened as my friends aired out every detail of their life that they were too afraid to share with their parents. Sexuality, relationships, dreams; the options were limitless. While I enjoyed playing therapist every 7th period, a nagging sensation that perhaps their parents should understand manifested in me. Yet, my proposal was always met with rolling eyes; “I wish they understood” began every conversation, but nothing was being done beyond wishing on both sides. 

I wanted to help not just my friends but the countless other stories I was told of severed relationships and hidden secrets. Ultimately, my quest for change led me to BFB, a local nonprofit. Participating in their Youth Leadership program, I devised and implemented a plan for opening up the conversation between students and parents with the team I led. We successfully hosted relationship seminars with guest speakers specializing on a range of topics, from inclusive education to parental pressure, and were invited to speak for BFB at various external events with local government by the end of my junior year. Collaborating with mental health organizations and receiving over $1,000 in funding from international companies facilitated our message to spread throughout the community and eventually awarded us with an opportunity to tackle a research project studying mental health among teens during the pandemic with professors from the University at Buffalo and UC Los Angeles. 

While these endeavors collectively facilitated my team to win the competition, the most rewarding part of it all was receiving positive feedback from my community and close friends. “I wish my parents understood” morphed into “I’m glad they tried to understand”. I now lead a separate program under BFB inspired by my previous endeavors, advancing its message even further and leaving a legacy of change and initiative for future high schoolers in the program. As I leave for college, I hope to continue this work at the University of California and foster a diverse community that embraces understanding and growth across cultures and generations.

The essay begins with a strong, human-centered story that paints a picture of what the writer’s community looks like. The first sentence acts as a hook by leaving readers with questions — whose parents are being discussed, and what don’t they understand? With their curiosity now piqued, readers become intrigued enough to move on to the next sentences. The last sentence of the first paragraph and beginning of the second relate to the same topic of stories from friends, making for a highly effective transition.

The writer then does a great job of describing their community impact in specific detail, which is crucial for this prompt. Rather than using vague and overly generalized language, the writer highlights their role in BFB with strong action verbs like “devised” and “implemented.” They also communicate the full scope of their impact with quantifiable metrics like “$1,000 in funding,” all while maintaining a flowing narrative style.

The essay ends by circling back to the reason why the writer got involved in improving their community through BFB, which makes the essay more cohesive and moving. The last sentences connect their current experiences improving community with their future aspirations to do so, both in the wider world and at a UC school. This forward-looking part allows admissions officers to get a sense of what the writer might accomplish as a UC alum/alumna, and is certainly something to emulate.

This essay’s biggest weakness is its organization. Since the second paragraph contains lots of dense information about the writer’s role in BFB, it would benefit from a few sentences that tie it back to the narrative in the first paragraph. For instance, the third sentence of the paragraph could be changed like so: “Participating in their Youth Leadership program, I led my team through devising and implementing a plan to foster student-parent conversations — the ones that my 7th period friends were in need of.”

The last paragraph also has the potential to be reorganized. The sentence with the “I wish my parents understood” quote would be more powerful at the end of the paragraph rather than in the middle. With a short transition added to the beginning, the new conclusion would look like so: “ Through it all, I hope to help ‘I wish my parents understood’ morph into ‘I’m glad they tried to understand’ for my 7th period friends and many more.” 

I drop my toothbrush in the sink as I hear a scream. Rushing outside, I find my mom’s hand painfully wedged in the gap between our outward-opening veranda doors. I quickly open it, freeing her hand as she gasps in relief. 

As she ices her hand, I regard the door like I would a trivia question or math problem – getting to know the facts before I start working on a solution. I find that, surprisingly, there is not a single protrusion to open the door from the outside! 

Perhaps it was the fact that my mom couldn’t drive or that my dad worked long hours, but the crafts store was off-limits; I’ve always ended up having to get resourceful and creative with whatever materials happened to be on hand in order to complete my impromptu STEM projects or garage builds. Used plastic bottles of various shapes and sizes became buildings for a model of a futuristic city. Cylindrical capacitors from an old computer, a few inches in height, became scale-size storage tanks. 

Inspired by these inventive work-arounds and spurred on by my mom’s plight, I procure a Command Strip, a roll of tennis racket grip, and, of course, duct tape. I fashion a rudimentary but effective solution: a pull handle, ensuring she would never find herself stuck again.

A desire to instill others in my community with this same sense of resourcefulness led me to co-found “Repair Workshops” at my school – sessions where we teach students to fix broken objects rather than disposing of them. My hope is that participants will walk away with a renewed sense of purpose to identify problems faced by members of their community (whether that’s their neighbor next door or the planet as a whole) and apply their newfound engineering skills towards solutions.

As I look towards a degree and career in engineering and business, these connections will serve as my grounding point: my reminder that in disciplines growing increasingly quantitative, sometimes the best startup ideas or engineering solutions originate from a desire to to better the lives of people around me.

This essay is a good example of telling a story with an authentic voice. With its down-to-earth tone and short, punchy paragraphs, it stands out as a piece of writing that only the author could have written. That is an effective way for you to write any of your college essays as well.

After readers are hooked by the mention of screaming in the first sentence, the writer immerses the readers in their thinking. This makes the essay flow very naturally — rather than a first paragraph of narrative followed by an unrelated description of STEM projects, the whole essay is a cohesive story that shows how the writer came to improve their community. 

Their take on community also makes the essay stand out. While many responses to this prompt will focus on an amorphous, big-picture concept of community, such as school or humanity, this essay is about a community that the writer has a close connection to — their family. Family is also not the large group of people that most applicants would first attach to the word “community,” but writing about it here is a creative take on the prompt. Though explaining community impact is most important, choosing the most unique community you are a part of is a great way to make your essay stand out.

This essay’s main weakness is that the paragraph about Repair Workshops does not go into enough detail about community impact. The writer should highlight more specific examples of leadership here, since it would allow them to demonstrate how they hope to impact many more communities besides their family. 

After the sentence ending with “fix broken objects rather than disposing of them,” a new part could be added that shows how the writer taught students. For example, the writer could tell the story of how “tin cans became compost bins” as they explained the importance of making the world a better place. 

Then, at the end of the paragraph, the writer could more concretely explain the visions they have to expand the impact of Repair Workshops. A good concluding sentence could start with “I too hope to use engineering skills and resourcefulness to…” Adding this extra context would also make the paragraph transition better to the final paragraph of the essay, which somewhat abruptly begins by mentioning the writer’s previously unmentioned career interests in engineering and business.

Where to Get Feedback on Your UC Essays

Want feedback like this on your University of California essays before you submit? We offer expert essay review by advisors who have helped students get into their dream schools. You can book a review with an expert to receive notes on your topic, grammar, and essay structure to make your essay stand out to admissions officers. In fact, Alexander Oddo , an essay expert on CollegeVine, provided commentary on several of the essays in this post.

Haven’t started writing your essay yet? Advisors on CollegeVine also offer expert college counseling packages . You can purchase a package to get one-on-one guidance on any aspect of the college application process, including brainstorming and writing essays.

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts