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Parents’ Influence on a Child Essay: How Parents Affect Behavior and Development

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Do you wonder how parents influence their child? Read our parents’ influence on a child essay example and learn about the parental impact on behavior and development.

Introduction

• Financial Resources
• Education Level

Unemployed Parents

• Involvement of Parents
• Support from Parents
• Understanding of the Child’s Future
• Motivation from Parents
• Parental Goal-Setting
• The Importance of Discipline

Parents are means of structuring their child’s future. They have a very crucial role to play in their child’s growth and his/her conduct. During the days when schooling was considered to be accessible only to the children of the opulent, those who were not privileged enough to go to school, remained at home and helped their parents in daily chores.

Such children used to emulate their parents in their deeds and conduct. “In large part, we as children are shaped by what we see our parents do and how we see them act. I know that I have tried to model after my parents in many ways because I think they have done many things right” (Enotes, 2010).

But during the years, owing to the numerous opportunities available, parents have started devoting more time towards their work. Moreover, education has been simplified and has easy access. Children have started going to schools and as such, both parents and their children don’t have enough time to spend with each other. But still there are parents who devote time towards their children and try and teach them.

It has been observed that children, who have their parents’ guidance and participation in their school activities, achieve more in life as compared to those who totally depend on their schools. “…is that when parents get involved in their children’s education, they offer not only information specific to the classroom, but likely help in giving children a broader level of academic information” (Jeynes, 2011).

There are a few factors related to parents that have a major role to play in the child’s upbringing and education. These are:

Financial resources of parents

Financial resources mean the income of the parents. If the income of parents is good, they can afford to provide extra study material to their child at home. There is a lot of referencing material required by children and as such parents earning better can provide their child with books, periodicals, magazines, etc. Technological devices like the computer play an important role in a child’s standard of education. Parents earning handsomely can provide their child with a computer at home so that he/she can complete online projects. “Poverty takes a toll on students’ school performance. Poor children are twice as likely as their more affluent counterparts to repeat a grade; to be suspended, expelled, or drop out of high school; and to be placed in special education classes” (Education).

Education level of the parents

If the parents are well educated, they ought to understand the importance of education and will encourage their child to study better and up to high levels. Uneducated or less educated parents will not be able to understand the importance of moulding their child’s career from the early school days. On the contrary, well educated parents will understand that for achieving success and objectives, the foundation of their child should be strong.

Unemployed parents are disgruntled and as such the atmosphere at home is not conducive for a child to study. Children find it suffocating at home and as such can’t concentrate on their studies even at their schools. Nicole Biedinger remarked that “…it is hypothesized that the home environment and family background are very important for the cognitive abilities and for their improvement” (Biedinger 2011). He further continues that “Previous research has shown that there exist developmental differences of children from different social classes” (Biedinger, 2011).

Involvement of parents

It will not be contradictory to state that parents and schools have an equal effect on the development of children. Both have an important role to play and are links to a child’s future. Even if one of the links is missing, it will have a negative impact on the child. Parents can get involved in their child’s upbringing by keeping a constant vigil on his/her school work. They can also visit his/her school on occasions such as parent-teacher meetings, annual days, sport events, social get-togethers, etc. All this will help in developing confidence in the child and also a sense of safety and protection.

Once a child is grown up, the parents can still contribute towards building their child’s confidence and identifying his/her qualities by talking to him/her on various career related issues.

Support from parents

Even if parents are not able to contribute financially by providing the essential tools for education, they can at least act as moral boosters for their child. They can inculcate, in their child, the habit of studying hard in order to attain success in life. Such children can defy all odds and prove to fulfil their parents’ aspirations. Alison Rich emphasized that “A cognitively stimulating home need not be one that is rich in material resources. Parents can simply discuss issues of importance with their children, talk to them about what they are doing in school, or spend time doing activities that will develop their skills and abilities” (Rich, 2000).

Parents’ understanding of their child’s future

Simply by getting involved in their child’s school activities, parents cannot guarantee their child’s success. Parents should be well acquainted with the ongoing educational process and various courses available. Information on when to go for any particular course is very crucial. As for example, parents must be aware of any courses that their child might require before going to the college. There are various pre-college courses that improve the grasping power of students. Further, a child will not be able to tell as to what he/she wants to achieve in life. But parents, by knowing his/her interests, can assess their child’s inclination and can further encourage him/her to pursue those interests.

Motivation from parents

Usually, parents tell bed-time stories to their children. These stories have a great impact on the way a child thinks and are instrumental to quite some extent in moulding his/her behaviour and conduct. So parents should tell such stories that have some moral values. The child will get inspired from them and behave accordingly. Stories of heroes and successful people will encourage the child to be like one of them. Parents can also motivate their children by doing good acts themselves.

Parents to set goals for their child

Achieving one’s goals in life is a very important factor of success. Success comes to those who achieve their aims and objectives. Even though there are no fixed parameters for achieving success, it solely depends on the hard work, enthusiasm and motivation of a person. These qualities don’t come instantly but have to be nurtured since childhood. So parents, who want their child to succeed, should start giving him/her small targets to be completed in a given time-frame. Gradually, the child will be habituated to achieve targets and this will be helpful to a great extent in his/her future life, may it be his/her education or career.

Inculcating the importance of discipline

Being disciplined is one of the most critical requirements of being successful. Similar to the habit of achieving targets, discipline also doesn’t come instantly. It has to be inculcated since childhood.

Parents can teach discipline to their child by following certain rules. They can have strict time frames for different activities of their child at home such as study hours, watching the television programmes, having supper and other meals, and going to bed. A sense of responsibility can also be imposed on the child by allocating to him/her certain house-hold tasks.

Having mentioned all the above factors, it can be concluded that parents have an ever-lasting impact on their child’s education. It has been observed that in cases where parents have involvement in their children’s education, the children portray the following virtues: better grades at school, better rates of graduation, fewer absentees from school, better inspiration and confidence, abstaining from drugs, smoking, alcohol and other sedatives, transparency, and being responsible.

Both parents and the school have to work in mutual co-operation to enhance the educational experience of a child and to mould his/her career. In fact, schools encourage parents to be more involved in their children’s activities because the school authorities know that parents’ involvement can bring about great positive changes in the students. That’s the reason schools invite parents to attend various school activities and functions.

Biedinger, N. (2011). The influence of education and home environment on the cognitive outcomes of preschool children in Germany . Web.

Education. (n.d.). Out-of-school influences and academic success-background, parental influence, family economic status, preparing for school, physical and mental health . Web.

Enotes. (2010). How do parents influence children in life? Web.

Jeynes, W. (2011). Parental involvement and academic success . New York: Routledge.

Rich, A. (2000). Beyond the classroom: How parents influence their children’s education . Web.

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• My Parents Essay

500 Words Essay On My Parents

We entered this world because of our parents. It is our parents who have given us life and we must learn to be pleased with it. I am grateful to my parents for everything they do for me. Through my parents essay, I wish to convey how valuable they are to me and how much I respect and admire them.

My Strength My Parents Essay

My parents are my strength who support me at every stage of life. I cannot imagine my life without them. My parents are like a guiding light who take me to the right path whenever I get lost.

My mother is a homemaker and she is the strongest woman I know. She helps me with my work and feeds me delicious foods . She was a teacher but left the job to take care of her children.

My mother makes many sacrifices for us that we are not even aware of. She always takes care of us and puts us before herself. She never wakes up late. Moreover, she is like a glue that binds us together as a family.

Parents are the strength and support system of their children. They carry with them so many responsibilities yet they never show it. We must be thankful to have parents in our lives as not everyone is lucky to have them.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

While my mother is always working at home, my father is the one who works outside. He is a kind human who always helps out my mother whenever he can. He is a loving man who helps out the needy too.

My father is a social person who interacts with our neighbours too. Moreover, he is an expert at maintaining his relationship with our relatives. My father works as a businessman and does a lot of hard work.

Even though he is a busy man, he always finds time for us. We spend our off days going to picnics or dinners. I admire my father for doing so much for us without any complaints.

He is a popular man in society as he is always there to help others. Whoever asks for his help, my father always helps them out. Therefore, he is a well-known man and a loving father whom I look up to.

Conclusion of My Parents Essay

I love both my parents with all my heart. They are kind people who have taught their children to be the same. Moreover, even when they have arguments, they always make up without letting it affect us. I aspire to become like my parents and achieve success in life with their blessings.

FAQ of My Parents Essay

Question 1: Why parents are important in our life?

Answer 1: Parents are the most precious gifts anyone can get. However, as not everyone has them, we must consider ourselves lucky if we do. They are the strength and support system of children and help them out always. Moreover, the parents train the children to overcome challenges and make the best decision for us.

Question 2: What do parents mean to us?

Answer 2: Parents mean different things to different people. To most of us, they are our source of happiness and protection. They are the ones who are the closest to us and understand our needs without having to say them out loud. Similarly, they love us unconditionally for who we are without any ifs and buts.

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Essay on Role of Parents in Children’s Life

Students are often asked to write an essay on Role of Parents in Children’s Life in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Role of Parents in Children’s Life

The importance of parents.

Parents play a crucial role in shaping their children’s lives. They are the first teachers and role models. Their love, care, and guidance greatly influence a child’s development.

Nurturing Values

Parents instill values and ethics in their children. They teach respect, kindness, honesty, and responsibility, shaping the child’s character and worldview.

Providing Support

Parents provide emotional, financial, and educational support. They help children navigate challenges, fostering resilience and independence.

Encouraging Dreams

Parents encourage their children’s dreams and ambitions. They provide motivation and inspiration, helping children achieve their goals.

In conclusion, parents play an irreplaceable role in children’s lives.

250 Words Essay on Role of Parents in Children’s Life

The pivotal role of parents.

Parents play a crucial role in shaping the lives of their children, serving as the primary influence and guiding light. They are the architects of a child’s early environment, nurturing and molding them into responsible adults.

Emotional and Social Development

Parents are instrumental in a child’s emotional and social development. Through their interactions, they teach children how to express emotions, communicate effectively, and form relationships. They provide the emotional security a child needs for a healthy psychological development.

Educational Guidance

Parents are the first educators. They instill the value of education, encourage curiosity, and foster a love for learning. Their involvement in a child’s academic life significantly impacts the child’s attitude towards education and their academic success.

Moral and Ethical Development

Parents play a critical role in imparting moral and ethical values. They set the standards for behavior, teaching children about honesty, respect, kindness, and responsibility. These lessons form the foundation of a child’s character.

Setting Life Goals

Parents guide their children in setting and achieving life goals. They provide advice, share experiences, and offer support, helping children navigate life’s challenges.

In conclusion, parents are the cornerstone of a child’s life. Their influence shapes a child’s personality, beliefs, and values, laying the groundwork for their future success. However, it’s important to remember that effective parenting involves a balance of guidance and allowing children to make their own decisions, fostering independence and resilience.

500 Words Essay on Role of Parents in Children’s Life

The pivotal role of parents in children’s life.

Parents play a crucial role in every stage of a child’s development, shaping their world view and preparing them for the challenges of life. Their influence extends beyond providing basic physical necessities and extends to the psychological and emotional development of the child.

Parents as First Teachers

The first education that children receive is from their parents. They learn basic skills such as talking, walking, and social interaction by observing and imitating their parents. Even before formal education begins, parents lay the foundation for cognitive development and curiosity. They introduce children to books, nature, and the world around them, fostering a love for learning.

Parents as Emotional Anchors

Parents are the primary source of emotional support for children. They help children understand and manage their emotions, fostering emotional intelligence. Through their interactions, parents teach children how to express their feelings appropriately and handle stressful situations. They also provide a safe and loving environment where children can express their feelings without fear of judgement.

Parents as Moral Guides

Parents are the first moral guides for children. They teach them the difference between right and wrong, instilling values and ethics that shape their character. Parents model behavior and attitudes that children often adopt. The values parents instill in their children, such as honesty, kindness, and respect, significantly influence their future behavior and relationships.

Parents as Role Models

Parents serve as role models, exhibiting behaviors that children tend to emulate. The way parents handle their responsibilities, treat others, and react to life’s ups and downs sets an example for children. Their actions, more than their words, have a lasting impact on a child’s behavior and attitudes.

Parents as Navigators of Socialization

Parents also play a critical role in the socialization of children. They introduce children to societal norms, expectations, and rules. Through parents, children learn how to interact with others, understand social cues, and behave in different social situations. Parents also help children develop empathy and compassion, essential for forming healthy relationships.

The role of parents in a child’s life is multifaceted and profound. They are the first teachers, emotional anchors, moral guides, role models, and navigators of socialization. The influence of parents shapes the child’s personality, behavior, and outlook towards life. As such, it is incumbent upon parents to provide a nurturing environment that promotes the overall development of the child. The importance of parents in a child’s life cannot be understated as they lay the foundation for the future of the child.

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Parenting Matters: Supporting Parents of Children Ages 0-8 (2016)

Chapter: 1 introduction, 1 introduction.

Parents are among the most important people in the lives of young children. 1 From birth, children are learning and rely on mothers and fathers, as well as other caregivers acting in the parenting role, to protect and care for them and to chart a trajectory that promotes their overall well-being. While parents generally are filled with anticipation about their children’s unfolding personalities, many also lack knowledge about how best to provide for them. Becoming a parent is usually a welcomed event, but in some cases, parents’ lives are fraught with problems and uncertainty regarding their ability to ensure their child’s physical, emotional, or economic well-being.

At the same time, this study was fundamentally informed by recognition that the task of ensuring children’s healthy development does not rest solely with parents or families. It lies as well with governments and organizations at the local/community, state, and national levels that provide programs and services to support parents and families. Society benefits socially and economically from providing current and future generations of parents with the support they need to raise healthy and thriving children ( Karoly et al., 2005 ; Lee et al., 2015 ). In short, when parents and other caregivers are able to support young children, children’s lives are enriched, and society is advantaged by their contributions.

To ensure positive experiences for their children, parents draw on the resources of which they are aware or that are at their immediate disposal.

___________________

1 In this report, “parents” refers to the primary caregivers of young children in the home. In addition to biological and adoptive parents, main caregivers may include kinship (e.g., grandparents), foster, and other types of caregivers.

However, these resources may vary in number, availability, and quality at best, and at worst may be offered sporadically or not at all. Resources may be close at hand (e.g., family members), or they may be remote (e.g., government programs). They may be too expensive to access, or they may be substantively inadequate. Whether located in early childhood programs, school-based classrooms, well-child clinics, or family networks, support for parents of young children is critical to enhancing healthy early childhood experiences, promoting positive outcomes for children, and helping parents build strong relationships with their children (see Box 1-1 ).

The parent-child relationship that the parent described in Box 1-1 sought and continues to work toward is central to children’s growth and

development—to their social-emotional and cognitive functioning, school success, and mental and physical health. Experiences during early childhood affect children’s well-being over the course of their lives. The impact of parents may never be greater than during the earliest years of life, when children’s brains are developing rapidly and when nearly all of their experiences are created and shaped by their parents and by the positive or difficult circumstances in which the parents find themselves. Parents play a significant role in helping children build and refine their knowledge and skills, as well as their learning expectations, beliefs, goals, and coping strategies. Parents introduce children to the social world where they develop understandings of themselves and their place and value in society, understandings that influence their choices and experiences over the life course.

PURPOSE OF THIS STUDY

Over the past several decades, researchers have identified parenting-related knowledge, attitudes, and practices that are associated with improved developmental outcomes for children and around which parenting-related programs, policies, and messaging initiatives can be designed. However, consensus is lacking on the elements of parenting that are most important to promoting child well-being, and what is known about effective parenting has not always been adequately integrated across different service sectors to give all parents the information and support they need. Moreover, knowledge about effective parenting has not been effectively incorporated into policy, which has resulted in a lack of coordinated and targeted efforts aimed at supporting parents.

Several challenges to the implementation of effective parenting practices exist as well. One concerns the scope and complexity of hardships that influence parents’ use of knowledge, about effective parenting, including their ability to translate that knowledge into effective parenting practices and their access to and participation in evidence-based parenting-related programs and services. Many families in the United States are affected by such hardships, which include poverty, parental mental illness and substance use, and violence in the home. A second challenge is inadequate attention to identifying effective strategies for engaging and utilizing the strengths of fathers, discussed later in this chapter and elsewhere in this report. Even more limited is the understanding of how mothers, fathers, and other caregivers together promote their children’s development and analysis of the effects of fathers’ parenting on child outcomes. A third challenge is limited knowledge of exactly how culture and the direct effects of racial discrimination influence childrearing beliefs and practices or children’s development ( National Research Council and Institute of Medicine, 2000 ). Despite acknowledgment of and attention to the importance of culture in

the field of developmental science, few studies have explored differences in parenting among demographic communities that vary in race and ethnicity, culture, and immigrant experience, among other factors, and the implications for children’s development.

In addition, the issue of poverty persists, with low-income working families being particularly vulnerable to policy and economic shifts. Although these families have benefited in recent years from the expansion of programs and policies aimed at supporting them (discussed further below), the number of children living in deep poverty has increased ( Sherman and Trisi, 2014 ). 2 Moreover, the portrait of America’s parents and children has changed over the past 50 years as a result of shifts in the numbers and origins of immigrants to the United States and in the nation’s racial, ethnic, and cultural composition ( Child Trends Databank, 2015b ; Migration Policy Institute, 2016 ). Family structure also has grown increasingly diverse across class, race, and ethnicity, with fewer children now being raised in households with two married parents; more living with same-sex parents; and more living with kinship caregivers, such as grandparents, and in other household arrangements ( Child Trends Databank, 2015b ). Lastly, parenting increasingly is being shaped by technology and greater access to information about parenting, some of which is not based in evidence and much of which is only now being studied closely.

The above changes in the nation’s demographic, economic, and technological landscape, discussed in greater detail below, have created new opportunities and challenges with respect to supporting parents of young children. Indeed, funding has increased for some programs designed to support children and families. At the state and federal levels, policy makers recently have funded new initiatives aimed at expanding early childhood education ( Barnett et al., 2015 ). Over the past several years, the number of states offering some form of publicly funded prekindergarten program has risen to 39, and after slight dips during the Great Recession of 2008, within-state funding of these programs has been increasing ( Barnett et al., 2015 ). Furthermore, the 2016 federal budget allocates about $750 million for state-based preschool development grants focused on improved access and better quality of care and an additional $1 billion for Head Start programs ( U.S. Department of Education, 2015 ; U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2015 ). The federal budget also includes additional funding for the expansion of early childhood home visiting programs ($15 billion over the next 10 years) and increased access to child care for low-income working families ($28 billion over 10 years) ( U.S. Department

2 Deep poverty is defined as household income that is 50 percent or more below the federal poverty level (FPL). In 2015, the FPL for a four-person household was $24,250 ( Office of the Assistant Secretary for Planning and Evaluation, 2015 ).

of Health and Human Services, 2015 ). Low-income children and families have been aided as well in recent years by increased economic support from government in the form of both cash benefits (e.g., the Earned Income Tax Credit and the Child Tax Credit) and noncash benefits (e.g., Temporary Assistance for Needy Families and the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program), and millions of children and their families have moved out of poverty as a result ( Sherman and Trisi, 2014 ).

It is against this backdrop of need and opportunity that the Administration for Children and Families, the Bezos Family Foundation, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the David and Lucile Packard Foundation, the Health Resources and Services Administration, the U.S. Department of Education, the Foundation for Child Development, the Heising-Simons Foundation, and the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) requested that the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine empanel a committee to conduct a study to examine the state of the science with respect to parenting knowledge, attitudes, and practices tied to positive parent-child interactions and child outcomes and strategies for supporting them among parents of young children ages 0-8. The purpose of this study was to provide a roadmap for the future of parenting and family support policies, practices, and research in the United States.

The statement of task for the Committee on Supporting the Parents of Young Children is presented in Box 1-2 . The committee was tasked with describing barriers to and facilitators for strengthening parenting capacity and parents’ participation and retention in salient programs and services. The committee was asked to assess the evidence and then make recommendations whose implementation would promote wide-scale adoption of effective strategies for enabling the identified knowledge, attitudes, and practices. Given the multi- and interdisciplinary nature of the study task, the 18-member committee comprised individuals with an array of expertise, including child development, early childhood education, developmental and educational psychology, child psychiatry, social work, family engagement research, pediatric medicine, public and health policy, health communications, implementation science, law, and economics (see Appendix D for biosketches of the committee members).

WHAT IS PARENTING?

Conceptions of who parents are and what constitute the best conditions for raising children vary widely. From classic anthropological and human development perspectives, parenting often is defined as a primary mechanism of socialization, that is, a primary means of training and preparing children to meet the demands of their environments and take advantage

of opportunities within those environments. As Bornstein (1991, p. 6) explains, the “particular and continuing task of parents and other caregivers is to enculturate children . . . to prepare them for socially accepted physical, economic, and psychological situations that are characteristic of the culture in which they are to survive and thrive.”

Attachment security is a central aspect of development that has been

defined as a child’s sense of confidence that the caregiver is there to meet his or her needs ( Main and Cassidy, 1988 ). All children develop attachments with their parents, but how parents interact with their young children, including the extent to which they respond appropriately and consistently to their children’s needs, particularly in times of distress, influences whether the attachment relationship that develops is secure or insecure. Young chil-

dren who are securely attached to their parents are provided a solid foundation for healthy development, including the establishment of strong peer relationships and the ability to empathize with others ( Bowlby, 1978 ; Chen et al., 2012 ; Holmes, 2006 ; Main and Cassidy, 1988 ; Murphy and Laible, 2013 ). Conversely, young children who do not become securely attached with a primary caregiver (e.g., as a result of maltreatment or separation) may develop insecure behaviors in childhood and potentially suffer other adverse outcomes over the life course, such as mental health disorders and disruption in other social and emotional domains ( Ainsworth and Bell, 1970 ; Bowlby, 2008 ; Schore, 2005 ).

More recently, developmental psychologists and economists have described parents as investing resources in their children in anticipation of promoting the children’s social, economic, and psychological well-being. Kalil and DeLeire (2004) characterize this promotion of children’s healthy development as taking two forms: (1) material, monetary, social, and psychological resources and (2) provision of support, guidance, warmth, and love. Bradley and Corwyn (2004) characterize the goals of these investments as helping children successfully regulate biological, cognitive, and social-emotional functioning.

Parents possess different levels and quality of access to knowledge that can guide the formation of their parenting attitudes and practices. As discussed in greater detail in Chapter 2 , the parenting practices in which parents engage are influenced and informed by their knowledge, including facts and other information relevant to parenting, as well as skills gained through experience or education. Parenting practices also are influenced by attitudes, which in this context refer to parents’ viewpoints, perspectives, reactions, or settled ways of thinking with respect to the roles and importance of parents and parenting in children’s development, as well as parents’ responsibilities. Attitudes may be part of a set of beliefs shared within a cultural group and founded in common experiences, and they often direct the transformation of knowledge into practice.

Parenting knowledge, attitudes, and practices are shaped, in part, by parents’ own experiences (including those from their own childhood) and circumstances; expectations and practices learned from others, such as family, friends, and other social networks; and beliefs transferred through cultural and social systems. Parenting also is shaped by the availability of supports within the larger community and provided by institutions, as well as by policies that affect the availability of supportive services.

Along with the multiple sources of parenting knowledge, attitudes, and practices and their diversity among parents, it is important to acknowledge the diverse influences on the lives of children. While parents are central to children’ development, other influences, such as relatives, close family friends, teachers, community members, peers, and social institutions, also

contribute to children’s growth and development. Children themselves are perhaps the most essential contributors to their own development. Thus, the science of parenting is framed within the theoretical perspective that parenting unfolds in particular contexts; is embedded in a network of relationships within and outside of the family; and is fluid and continuous, changing over time as children and parents grow and develop.

In addition, it is important to recognize that parenting affects not only children but also parents themselves. For instance, parenting can enrich and give focus to parents’ lives; generate stress or calm; compete for time with work or leisure; and create combinations of any number of emotions, including happiness, sadness, fulfillment, and anger.

STUDY CONTEXT

As attention to early childhood development has increased over the past 20 years, so, too, has attention to those who care for young children. A recent Institute of Medicine and National Research Council report on the early childhood workforce ( Institute of Medicine and National Research Council, 2015 ) illustrates the heightened focus not only on whether young children have opportunities to be exposed to healthy environments and supports but also on the people who provide those supports. Indeed, an important responsibility of parents is identifying those who will care for their children in their absence. Those individuals may include family members and others in parents’ immediate circle, but they increasingly include non-family members who provide care and education in formal and informal settings outside the home, such as schools and home daycare centers.

Throughout its deliberations, the committee considered several questions relevant to its charge: What knowledge and attitudes do parents of young children bring to the task of parenting? How are parents engaged with their young children, and how do the circumstances and behaviors of both parents and children influence the parent-child relationship? What types of support further enhance the natural resources and skills that parents bring to the parenting role? How do parents function and make use of their familial and community resources? What policies and resources at the local, state, and federal levels assist parents? What practices do they expect those resources to reinforce, and from what knowledge and attitudes are those practices derived? On whom or what do they rely in the absence of those resources? What serves as an incentive for participation in parenting programs? How are the issues of parenting different or the same across culture and race? What factors constrain parents’ positive relationships with their children, and what research is needed to advance agendas that can help parents sustain such relationships?

The committee also considered research in the field of neuroscience,

which further supports the foundational role of early experiences in healthy development, with effects across the life course ( Center on the Developing Child, 2007 ; National Research Council and Institute of Medicine, 2009 ; World Health Organization, 2015 ). During early childhood, the brain undergoes a rapid development that lays the foundation for a child’s lifelong learning capacity and emotional and behavioral health (see Figure 1-1 ). This research has provided a more nuanced understanding of the importance of investments in early childhood and parenting. Moreover, advances in analyses of epigenetic effects on early brain development demonstrate consequences of parenting for neural development at the level of DNA, and suggest indirect consequences of family conditions such as poverty that operate on early child development, in part, through the epigenetic consequences of parenting ( Lipinia and Segretin, 2015 ).

This report comes at a time of flux in public policies aimed at supporting parents and their young children. The cost to parents of supporting their children’s healthy development (e.g., the cost of housing, health care, child care, and education) has increased at rates that in many cases have offset the improvements and increases provided for by public policies. As noted above, for example, the number of children living in deep poverty has grown since the mid-1990s ( Sherman and Trisi, 2014 ). While children represent approximately one-quarter of the country’s population, they make up 32 percent of all the country’s citizens who live in poverty ( Child Trends Databank, 2015a ). About one in every five children in the United States is now growing up in families with incomes below the poverty line, and 9 percent of children live in deep poverty (families with incomes below 50%

of the poverty line) ( Child Trends Databank, 2015a ). The risk of growing up poor continues to be particularly high for children in female-headed households; in 2013, approximately 55 percent of children under age 6 in such households lived at or below the poverty threshold, compared with 10 percent of children in married couple families ( DeNavas-Walt and Proctor, 2014 ). Black and Hispanic children are more likely to live in deep poverty (18 and 13%, respectively) compared with Asian and white children (5% each) ( Child Trends Databank, 2015a ). Also noteworthy is that child care policy, including the recent increases in funding for low-income families, ties child care subsidies to employment. Unemployed parents out of school are not eligible, and job loss results in subsidy loss and, in turn, instability in child care arrangements for young children ( Ha et al., 2012 ).

As noted earlier, this report also comes at a time of rapid change in the demographic composition of the country. This change necessitates new understandings of the norms and values within and among groups, the ways in which recent immigrants transition to life in the United States, and the approaches used by diverse cultural and ethnic communities to engage their children during early childhood and utilize institutions that offer them support in carrying out that role. The United States now has the largest absolute number of immigrants in its history ( Grieco et al., 2012 ; Passel and Cohn, 2012 ; U.S. Census Bureau, 2011 ), and the proportion of foreign-born residents today (13.1%) is nearly as high as it was at the turn of the 20th century ( National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine, 2015 ). As of 2014, 25 percent of children ages 0-5 in the United States had at least one immigrant parent, compared with 13.5 percent in 1990 ( Migration Policy Institute, 2016 ). 3 In many urban centers, such as Los Angeles, Miami, and New York City, the majority of the student body of public schools is first- or second-generation immigrant children ( Suárez-Orozco et al., 2008 ).

Immigrants to the United States vary in their countries of origin, their reception in different communities, and the resources available to them. Researchers increasingly have called attention to the wide variation not only among but also within immigrant groups, including varying premigration histories, familiarity with U.S. institutions and culture, and childrearing

3 Shifting demographics in the United States have resulted in increased pressure for service providers to meet the needs of all children and families in a culturally sensitive manner. In many cases, community-level changes have overwhelmed the capacity of local child care providers and health service workers to respond to the language barriers and cultural parenting practices of the newly arriving immigrant groups, particularly if they have endured trauma. For example, many U.S. communities have worked to address the needs of the growing Hispanic population, but it has been documented that in some cases, eligible Latinos are “less likely to access available social services than other populations” ( Helms et al., 2015 ; Wildsmith et al., 2016 ).

strategies ( Crosnoe, 2006 ; Fuller and García Coll, 2010 ; Galindo and Fuller, 2010 ; Suárez-Orozco et al., 2010 ; Takanishi, 2004 ). Immigrants often bring valuable social and human capital to the United States, including unique competencies and sociocultural strengths. Indeed, many young immigrant children display health and learning outcomes better than those of children of native-born parents in similar socioeconomic positions ( Crosnoe, 2013 ). At the same time, however, children with immigrant parents are more likely than children in native-born families to grow up poor ( Hernandez et al., 2008 , 2012 ; National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine, 2015 ; Raphael and Smolensky, 2009 ). Immigrant parents’ efforts to raise healthy children also can be thwarted by barriers to integration that include language, documentation, and discrimination ( Hernandez et al., 2012 ; Yoshikawa, 2011 ).

The increase in the nation’s racial and ethnic diversity over the past several decades, related in part to immigration, is a trend that is expected to continue ( Colby and Ortman, 2015 ; Taylor, 2014 ). Between 2000 and 2010, the percentage of Americans identifying as black, Hispanic, Asian, or “other” increased from 15 percent to 36 percent of the population ( U.S. Census Bureau, 2011 ). Over this same time, the percentage of non-Hispanic white children under age 10 declined from 60 percent to 52 percent, while the percentage of Hispanic ethnicity (of any race) grew from about 19 percent to 25 percent ( U.S. Census Bureau, 2011 ); the percentages of black/African American, American Indian/Alaska Native, and Asian children under age 10 remained relatively steady (at about 15%, 1%, and 4-5%, respectively); and the percentages of children in this age group identifying as two or more races increased from 3 percent to 5 percent ( U.S. Census Bureau, 2011 ).

The above-noted shifts in the demographic landscape with regard to family structure, including increases in divorce rates and cohabitation, new types of parental relationships, and the involvement of grandparents and other relatives in the raising of children ( Cancian and Reed, 2008 ; Fremstad and Boteach, 2015 ), have implications for how best to support families. Between 1960 and 2014, the percentage of children under age 18 who lived with two married parents (biological, nonbiological, or adoptive) decreased from approximately 85 percent to 64 percent. In 1960, 8 percent of children lived in households headed by single mothers; by 2014, that figure had tripled to about 24 percent ( Child Trends Databank, 2015b ; U.S. Census Bureau, 2016 ). Meanwhile, the proportions of children living with only their fathers or with neither parent (with either relatives or non-relatives) have remained relatively steady since the mid-1980s, at about 4 percent (see Figure 1-2 ). Black children are significantly more likely to live in households headed by single mothers and also are more likely to live in households where neither parent is present. In 2014, 34 percent of black

children lived with two parents, compared with 58 percent of Hispanic children, 75 percent of white children, and 85 percent of Asian children ( Child Trends Databank, 2015b ).

From 1996 to 2015, the number of cohabiting couples with children rose from 1.2 million to 3.3 million ( Child Trends Databank, 2015b ). Moreover, data from the National Health Interview Survey show that in 2013, 30,000 children under age 18 had married same-sex parents and 170,000 had unmarried same-sex parents, and between 1.1 and 2.0 million were being raised by a parent who identified as lesbian, gay, or bisexual but was not part of a couple ( Gates, 2014 ).

More families than in years past rely on kinship care (full-time care of children by family members other than parents or other adults with whom children have a family-like relationship). When parents are unable to care for their children because of illness, military deployment, incarceration, child abuse, or other reasons, kinship care can help cultivate familial and community bonds, as well as provide children with a sense of stability and belonging ( Annie E. Casey Foundation, 2012 ; Winokur et al., 2014 ). It is estimated that the number of children in kinship care grew six times the rate of the number of children in the general population over the past decade ( Annie E. Casey Foundation, 2012 ). In 2014, 7 percent of children lived in households headed by grandparents, as compared with 3 percent in 1970 ( Child Trends Databank, 2015b ), and as of 2012, about 10 percent of American children lived in a household where a grandparent was present ( Ellis and Simmons, 2014 ). Black children are twice as likely as the overall population of children to live in kinship arrangements, with about 20 percent of black children spending time in kinship care at some point

during their childhood ( Annie E. Casey Foundation, 2012 ). Beyond kinship care, about 400,000 U.S. children under age 18 are in foster care with about one-quarter of these children living with relatives ( Child Trends Databank, 2015c ). Of the total number of children in foster care, 7 percent are under age 1, 33 percent are ages 1-5, and 23 percent are ages 6-10 ( Child Trends Databank, 2015c ). Other information about the structure of American families is more difficult to come by. For example, there is a lack of data with which to assess trends in the number of children who are raised by extended family members through informal arrangements as opposed to through the foster care system.

As noted earlier, fathers, including biological fathers and other male caregivers, have historically been underrepresented in parenting research despite their essential role in the development of young children. Young children with involved and nurturing fathers develop better linguistic and cognitive skills and capacities, including academic readiness, and are more emotionally secure and have better social connections with peers as they get older ( Cabrera and Tamis-LeMonda, 2013 ; Harris and Marmer, 1996 ; Lamb, 2004 ; Pruett, 2000 ; Rosenberg and Wilcox, 2006 ; Yeung et al., 2000 ). Conversely, children with disengaged fathers have been found to be more likely to develop behavioral problems ( Amato and Rivera, 1999 ; Ramchandani et al., 2013 ). With both societal shifts in gender roles and increased attention to fathers’ involvement in childrearing in recent years, fathers have assumed greater roles in the daily activities associated with raising young children, such as preparing and eating meals with them, reading to and playing and talking with them, and helping them with homework ( Bianchi et al., 2007 ; Cabrera et al., 2011 ; Jones and Mosher, 2013 ; Livingston and Parker, 2011 ). In two-parent families, 16 percent of fathers were stay-at-home parents in 2012, compared with 10 percent in 1989; 21 percent of these fathers stayed home specifically to care for their home or family, up from 5 percent in 1989 ( Livingston, 2014 ). At the same time, however, fewer fathers now live with their biological children because of increases in nonmarital childbearing (U.S. Census Bureau, 2015).

In addition, as alluded to earlier, parents of young children face trans-formative changes in technology that can have a strong impact on parenting and family life ( Collier, 2014 ). Research conducted by the Pew Internet and American Life Project shows that, relative to other household configurations, married parents with children under age 18 use the Internet and cell phones, own computers, and adopt broadband at higher rates ( Duggan and Lenhart, 2015 ). Other types of households, however, such as single-parent and unmarried multiadult households, also show high usage of technology, particularly text messaging and social media ( Smith, 2015 ). Research by the Pew Research Center (2014) shows that many parents—25 percent in

one survey ( Duggan et al., 2015 )—view social media as a useful source of parenting information.

At the same time, however, parents also are saturated with information and faced with the difficulty of distinguishing valid information from fallacies and myths about raising children ( Aubrun and Grady, 2003 ; Center on Media and Human Development, 2014 ; Dworkin et al., 2013 ; Future of Children, 2008 ). Given the number and magnitude of innovations in media and communications technologies, parents may struggle with understanding the optimal use of technology in the lives of their children.

Despite engagement with Internet resources, parents still report turning to family, friends, and physicians more often than to online sources such as Websites, blogs, and social network sites for parenting advice ( Center on Media and Human Development, 2014 ). Although many reports allude to the potentially harmful effects of media and technology, parents generally do not report having many concerns or family conflicts regarding their children’s media use. On the other hand, studies have confirmed parents’ fears about an association between children’s exposure to violence in media and increased anxiety ( Funk, 2005 ), desensitization to violence ( Engelhardt et al., 2011 ), and aggression ( Willoughby et al., 2012 ). And although the relationship between media use and childhood obesity is challenging to disentangle, studies have found that children who spend more time with media are more likely to be overweight than children who do not (see Chapter 2 ) ( Bickham et al., 2013 ; Institute of Medicine, 2011 ; Kaiser Family Foundation, 2004 ).

The benefits of the information age have included reduced barriers to knowledge for both socially advantaged and disadvantaged groups. Yet despite rapidly decreasing costs of many technologies (e.g., smartphones, tablets, and computers), parents of lower socioeconomic position and from racial and ethnic minority groups are less likely to have access to and take advantage of these resources ( Center on Media and Human Development, 2014 ; File and Ryan, 2014 ; Institute of Medicine, 2006 ; Perrin and Duggan, 2015 ; Smith, 2015 ; Viswanath et al., 2012 ). A digital divide also exists between single-parent and two-parent households, as the cost of a computer and monthly Internet service can be more of a financial burden for the former families, which on average have lower household incomes ( Allen and Rainie, 2002 ; Dworkin et al., 2013 ).

STUDY APPROACH

The committee’s approach to its charge consisted of a review of the evidence in the scientific literature and several other information-gathering activities.

Evidence Review

The committee conducted an extensive review of the scientific literature pertaining to the questions raised in its statement of task ( Box 1-2 ). It did not undertake a full review of all parenting-related studies because it was tasked with providing a targeted report that would direct stakeholders to best practices and succinctly capture the state of the science. The committee’s literature review entailed English-language searches of databases including, but not limited to, the Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews, Medline, the Education Resources Information Center (ERIC), PsycINFO, Scopus, and Web of Science. Additional literature and other resources were identified by committee members and project staff using traditional academic research methods and online searches. The committee focused its review on research published in peer-reviewed journals and books (including individual studies, review articles, and meta-analyses), as well as reports issued by government agencies and other organizations. The committee’s review was concentrated primarily, although not entirely, on research conducted in the United States, occasionally drawing on research from other Western countries (e.g., Germany and Australia), and rarely on research from other countries.

In reviewing the literature and formulating its conclusions and recommendations, the committee considered several, sometimes competing, dimensions of empirical work: internal validity, external validity, practical significance, and issues of implementation, such as scale-up with fidelity ( Duncan et al., 2007 ; McCartney and Rosenthal, 2000 ; Rosenthal and Rosnow, 2007 ).

With regard to internal validity , the committee viewed random-assignment experiments as the primary model for establishing cause- and-effect relationships between variables with manipulable causes (e.g., Rosenthal and Rosnow, 2007 ; Shadish et al., 2001 ). Given the relatively limited body of evidence from experimental studies in the parenting literature, however, the committee also considered findings from quasi-experimental studies (including those using regression discontinuity, instrumental variables, and difference-in-difference techniques based on natural experiments) ( Duncan et al., 2007 ; Foster, 2010 ; McCartney et al., 2006 ) and from observational studies, a method that can be used to test logical propositions inherent to causal inference, rule out potential sources of bias, and assess the sensitivity of results to assumptions regarding study design and measurement. These include longitudinal studies and limited cross-sectional studies. Although quasi- and nonexperimental studies may fail to meet the “gold standard” of randomized controlled trials for causal inference, studies with a variety of internal validity strengths and weaknesses can collectively provide useful evidence on causal influences ( Duncan et al., 2014 ).

When there are different sources of evidence, often with some differences in estimates of the strength of the evidence, the committee used its collective experience to integrate the information and draw reasoned conclusions.

With regard to external validity , the committee attempted to take into account the extent to which findings can be generalized across population groups and situations. This entailed considering the demographic, socioeconomic, and other characteristics of study participants; whether variables were assessed in the real-world contexts in which parents and children live (e.g., in the home, school, community); whether study findings build the knowledge base with regard to both efficacy (i.e., internal validity in highly controlled settings) and effectiveness (i.e., positive net treatment effects in ecologically valid settings); and issues of cultural competence ( Bracht and Glass, 1968 ; Bronfenbrenner, 2009 ; Cook and Campbell, 1979 ; Harrison and List, 2004 ; Lerner et al., 2000 ; Rosenthal and Rosnow, 2007 ; Whaley and Davis, 2007 ). However, the research literature is limited in the extent to which generalizations across population groups and situations are examined.

With regard to practical significance , the committee considered the magnitude of likely causal impacts within both an empirical context (i.e., measurement, design, and method) and an economic context (i.e., benefits relative to costs), and with attention to the salience of outcomes (e.g., how important an outcome is for promoting child well-being) ( Duncan et al., 2007 ; McCartney and Rosenthal, 2000 ). As discussed elsewhere in this report, however, the committee found limited economic evidence with which to draw conclusions about investing in interventions at scale or to weigh the costs and benefits of interventions. (See the discussion of other information-gathering activities below.) Also with respect to practical significance, the committee considered the manipulability of the variables under consideration in real-world contexts, given that the practical significance of study results depend on whether the variables examined are represented or experienced commonly or uncommonly among particular families ( Fabes et al., 2000 ).

Finally, the committee took into account issues of implementation , such as whether interventions can be brought to and sustained at scale ( Durlak and DuPre, 2008 ; Halle et al., 2013 ). Experts in the field of implementation science emphasize not only the evidence behind programs but also the fundamental roles of scale-up, dissemination planning, and program monitoring and evaluation. Scale-up in turn requires attending to the ability to implement adaptive program practices in response to heterogeneous, real-world contexts, while also ensuring fidelity for the potent levers of change or prevention ( Franks and Schroeder, 2013 ). Thus, the committee relied on both evidence on scale-up, dissemination, and sustainability from empirically based programs and practices that have been implemented and

evaluated, and more general principles of implementation science, including considerations of capacity and readiness for scale-up and sustainability at the macro (e.g., current national politics) and micro (e.g., community resources) levels.

The review of the evidence conducted for this study, especially pertaining to strategies that work at the universal, targeted, and intensive levels to strengthen parenting capacity (questions 2 and 3 from the committee’s statement of task [ Box 1-2 ]), also entailed searches of several databases that, applying principles similar to those described above, assess the strength of the evidence for parenting-related programs and practices: the National Registry of Evidence-Based Programs and Practices (NREPP), supported by SAMHSA; the California Evidence-Based Clearinghouse for Child Welfare (CEBC), which is funded by the state of California; and Blueprints for Healthy Youth Development, which has multiple funding sources. Although each of these databases is unique with respect to its history, sponsors, and objectives (NREPP covers mental health and substance abuse interventions, CEBC is focused on evidence relevant to child welfare, and Blueprints describes programs designed to promote the health and well-being of children), all are recognized nationally and internationally and undergo a rigorous review process.

The basic principles of evaluation and classification and the processes for classification of evidence-based practices are common across NREPP, CEBC, and Blueprints. Each has two top categories—optimal and promising—for programs and practices (see Appendix B ; see also Burkhardt et al., 2015 ; Means et al., 2015 ; Mihalic and Elliot, 2015 ; Soydan et al., 2010 ). Given the relatively modest investment in research on programs for parents and young children, however, the array of programs that are highly rated remains modest. For this reason, the committee considered as programs with the most robust evidence not only those included in the top two categories of Blueprints and CEBC but also those with an average rating of 3 or higher in NREPP. The committee’s literature searches also captured well-supported programs that are excluded from these databases (e.g., because they are recent and/or have not been submitted for review) but have sound theoretical underpinnings and rely on well-recognized intervention and implementation mechanisms.

Other reputable information sources used in producing specific portions of this report were What Works for Health (within the County Health Rankings and Roadmaps Program, a joint effort of the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and the University of Wisconsin); the What Works Clearinghouse of the U.S. Department of Education’s Institute of Education Services; and HHS’s Home Visiting Evidence of Effectiveness (HomVEE) review.

In addition, the committee chose to consider findings from research using methodological approaches that are emerging as a source of innovation and improvement. These approaches are gaining momentum in parent-

ing research and are being developed and funded by the federal government and private philanthropy. Examples are breakthrough series collaborative approaches, such as the Home Visiting Collaborative Innovation and Improvement Network to Reduce Infant Mortality, and designs such as factorial experiments that have been used to address topics relevant to this study.

Other Information-Gathering Activities

The committee held two open public information-gathering sessions to hear from researchers, practitioners, parents, and other stakeholders on topics germane to this study and to supplement the expertise of the committee members (see Appendix A for the agendas of these open sessions). Material from these open sessions is referenced in this report where relevant.

As noted above, the committee’s task included making recommendations related to promoting the wide-scale adoption of effective strategies for supporting parents and the salient knowledge, attitudes, and practices. Cost is an important consideration for the implementation of parenting programs at scale. Therefore, the committee commissioned a paper reviewing the available economic evidence for investing in parenting programs at scale to inform its deliberations on this portion of its charge. Findings and excerpts from this paper are integrated throughout Chapters 3 through 6 . The committee also commissioned a second paper summarizing evidence-based strategies used by health care systems and providers to help parents acquire and sustain knowledge, attitudes, and practices that promote healthy child development. The committee drew heavily on this paper in developing sections of the report on universal/preventive and targeted interventions for parents in health care settings. Lastly, a commissioned paper on evidence-based strategies to support parents of children with mental illness formed the basis for a report section on this population. 4

In addition, the committee conducted two sets of group and individual semistructured interviews with parents participating in family support programs at community-based organizations in Omaha, Nebraska, and Washington, D.C. Parents provided feedback on the strengths they bring to parenting, challenges they face, how services for parents can be improved, and ways they prefer to receive parenting information, among other topics. Excerpts from these interviews are presented throughout this report as “Parent Voices” to provide real-world examples of parents’ experiences and to supplement the discussion of particular concepts and the committee’s findings.

4 The papers commissioned by the committee are in the public access file for the study and can be requested at https://www8.nationalacademies.org/cp/ManageRequest.aspx?key=49669 [October 2016].

TERMINOLOGY AND STUDY PARAMETERS

As specified in the statement of task for this study ( Box 1-2 ), the term “parents” refers in this report to those individuals who are the primary caregivers of young children in the home. Therefore, the committee reviewed studies that involved not only biolofical and adoptive parents but also relative/kinship providers (e.g., grandparents), stepparents, foster parents, and other types of caregivers, although research is sparse on unique issues related to nontraditional caregivers. The terms “knowledge,” “attitudes,” and “practices” and the relationships among them were discussed earlier in this chapter, and further detail can be found in Chapter 2 ).

The committee recognized that to a certain degree, ideas about what is considered effective parenting vary across cultures and ecological conditions, including economies, social structures, religious beliefs, and moral values ( Cushman, 1995 ). To address this variation, and in accordance with its charge, the committee examined research on how core parenting knowledge, attitudes, and practices differ by specific characteristics of children, parents, and contexts. However, because the research on parenting has traditionally underrepresented several populations (e.g., caregivers other than mothers), the evidence on which the committee could draw to make these comparisons was limited.

The committee interpreted “evidence-based/informed strategies” very broadly as ranging from teaching a specific parenting skill, to manualized parenting programs, to policies that may affect parenting. The term “interventions” is generally used in this report to refer to all types of strategies, while more specific terms (e.g., “program,” “well-child care”) are used to refer to particular types or sets of interventions. Also, recognizing that nearly every facet of society has a role to play in supporting parents and ensuring that children realize their full potential, the committee reviewed not only strategies designed expressly for parents (e.g., parenting skills training) but also, though to a lesser degree, programs and policies not designed specifically for parents that may nevertheless affect an individual’s capacity to parent (e.g., food assistance and housing programs, health care policies).

As noted earlier in this chapter, this report was informed by a life-course perspective on parenting, given evidence from neuroscience and a range of related research that the early years are a critical period in shaping how individuals fare throughout their lives. The committee also aimed to take a strengths/assets-based approach (e.g., to identify strategies that build upon the existing assets of parents), although the extent to which this approach could be applied was limited by the paucity of research examining parenting from this perspective.

GUIDING PRINCIPLES

A number of principles guided this study. First, following the ideas of Dunst and Espe-Sherwindt (2016) , the distinction between two types of family-centered practices—relational and participatory—informed the committee’s thinking. Relational practices are those focused primarily on intervening with families using compassion, active and reflective listening, empathy, and other techniques. Participatory practices are those that actively engage families in decision making and aim to improve families’ capabilities. In addition, family-centered practices focused on the context of successful parenting are a key third form of support for parenting. A premise of the committee is that many interventions with the most troubled families and children will require all these types of services—often delivered concurrently over a lengthy period of time.

Second, many programs are designed to serve families at particular risk for problems related to cognitive and social-emotional development, health, and well-being. Early Head Start and Head Start, for example, are means tested and designed for low-income families most of whom are known to face not just one risk factor (low income) but also others that often cluster together (e.g., living in dangerous neighborhoods, exposure to trauma, social isolation, unfamiliarity with the dominant culture or language). Special populations addressed in this report typically are at very high risk because of this exposure to multiple risk factors. Research has shown that children in such families have the poorest outcomes, in some instances reaching a level of toxic stress that seriously impairs their developmental functioning ( Shonkoff and Garner, 2012 ). Of course, in addition to characterizing developmental risk, it is essential to understand the corresponding adaptive processes and protective factors, as it is the balance of risk and protective factors that determines outcomes. In many ways, supporting parents is one way to attempt to change that balance.

From an intervention point of view, several principles are central. First, intervention strategies need to be designed to have measurable effects over time and to be sustainable. Second, it is necessary to focus on the needs of individual families and to tailor interventions to achieve desired outcomes. The importance of personalized approaches is widely acknowledged in medicine, education, and other areas. An observation perhaps best illustrated in the section on parents of children with developmental disabilities in Chapter 5 , although the committee believes this approach applies to many of the programs described in this report. A corresponding core principle of intervention is viewing parents as equal partners, experts in what both they and their children need. It is important as well that multiple kinds of services for families be integrated and coordinated. As illustrated earlier

in Box 1-1 , families may be receiving interventions from multiple sources delivered in different places, making coordination all the more important.

A useful framework for thinking about interventions is described in the National Research Council and Institute of Medicine (2009) report Preventing Mental, Emotional, and Behavioral Disorders among Young People . Prevention interventions encompass mental health promotion: universal prevention, defined as interventions that are valuable for all children; selected prevention, aimed at populations at high risk (such as children whose parents have mental illness); and indicated prevention, focused on children already manifesting symptoms. Treatment interventions include case identification, standard treatment for known disorders, accordance of long-term treatment with the goal of reduction in relapse or occurrence, and aftercare and rehabilitation ( National Research Council and Institute of Medicine, 2009 ).

The committee recognizes that engaging and retaining children and families in parenting interventions are critical challenges. A key to promoting such engagement may be cultural relevance. Families representing America’s diverse array of cultures, languages, and experiences are likely to derive the greatest benefit from interventions designed and implemented to allow for flexibility.

Finally, the question of widespread implementation and dissemination of parenting interventions is critically important. Given the cost of testing evidence-based parenting programs, the development of additional programs needs to be built on the work that has been done before. Collectively, interventions also are more likely to achieve a significant level of impact if they incorporate some of the elements of prior interventions. In any case, a focus on the principles of implementation and dissemination clearly is needed. As is discussed in this report, the committee calls for more study and experience with respect to taking programs to scale.

REPORT ORGANIZATION

This report is divided into eight chapters. Chapter 2 examines desired outcomes for children and reviews the existing research on parenting knowledge, attitudes, and practices that support positive parent-child interactions and child outcomes. Based on the available research, this chapter identifies a set of core knowledge, attitudes, and practices. Chapter 3 provides a brief overview of some of the major federally funded programs and policies that support parents in the United States. Chapters 4 and 5 describe evidence-based and evidence-informed strategies for supporting parents and enabling the identified knowledge, attitudes, and practices, including universal and widely used interventions ( Chapter 4 ) and interventions targeted to parents of children with special needs and parents who themselves face adversities

( Chapter 5 ). Chapter 6 reviews elements of effective programs for strengthening parenting capacity and parents’ participation and retention in effective programs and systems. Chapter 7 describes a national framework for supporting parents of young children. Finally, Chapter 8 presents the committee’s conclusions and recommendations for promoting the wide-scale adoption of effective intervention strategies and parenting practices linked to healthy child outcomes, as well as areas for future research.

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Decades of research have demonstrated that the parent-child dyad and the environment of the family—which includes all primary caregivers—are at the foundation of children's well- being and healthy development. From birth, children are learning and rely on parents and the other caregivers in their lives to protect and care for them. The impact of parents may never be greater than during the earliest years of life, when a child's brain is rapidly developing and when nearly all of her or his experiences are created and shaped by parents and the family environment. Parents help children build and refine their knowledge and skills, charting a trajectory for their health and well-being during childhood and beyond. The experience of parenting also impacts parents themselves. For instance, parenting can enrich and give focus to parents' lives; generate stress or calm; and create any number of emotions, including feelings of happiness, sadness, fulfillment, and anger.

Parenting of young children today takes place in the context of significant ongoing developments. These include: a rapidly growing body of science on early childhood, increases in funding for programs and services for families, changing demographics of the U.S. population, and greater diversity of family structure. Additionally, parenting is increasingly being shaped by technology and increased access to information about parenting.

Parenting Matters identifies parenting knowledge, attitudes, and practices associated with positive developmental outcomes in children ages 0-8; universal/preventive and targeted strategies used in a variety of settings that have been effective with parents of young children and that support the identified knowledge, attitudes, and practices; and barriers to and facilitators for parents' use of practices that lead to healthy child outcomes as well as their participation in effective programs and services. This report makes recommendations directed at an array of stakeholders, for promoting the wide-scale adoption of effective programs and services for parents and on areas that warrant further research to inform policy and practice. It is meant to serve as a roadmap for the future of parenting policy, research, and practice in the United States.

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How to Write the Parent Statement for Private School

Three things you need to know

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• For Parents & Educators
• Choosing a Private School
• Homework Help
• College Admissions
• College Life
• Graduate School
• Business School
• Distance Learning
• Psy.D., Organizational Psychology, Rutgers University - New Brunswick
• B.A., History and Literature, Harvard University

Most applications to private schools require parents to write about their children in a parent’s statement or by filling out a questionnaire. The purpose of the parent's letter is to add dimension to the candidate’s statement and help the admissions committee better understand the applicant from the parent’s perspective.

Parent statement is your chance to provide a personal introduction to your child and share details about how your child learns as well as what their interests and strengths are. The following are a few simple steps that will help you write an effective parent letter.

Think About Your Responses

It can be difficult to step back and consider your child objectively, but you need to do exactly that. Think about what your child’s teachers have said over time, particularly the ones who know them well.

Reread report cards and teacher comments. Think about consistent themes that emerge from the reports. Are there comments that teachers have consistently made about how your child learns and acts in school and in extracurricular activities? These comments will be helpful for the admissions committee. 

Consider also your own observations of your child as well as what you hope your child will get out of their private school experience.

Real children aren’t perfect, but they can still be great candidates to private schools. Describe your child accurately and openly. A full, real, and descriptive parent’s statement will show the admissions committee that you are being honest, and when they will read about the amazing sides of your child, they will be more likely to believe them.

If your child has had serious disciplinary actions or other issues in the past, describe them. Let the admissions officers know what happened and draw positive lessons from it. The school is looking for a real kid—not a perfect pupil.

Showing that your child and your family are capable of dealing with setbacks might be even more valuable than presenting a flawless picture. Of course, describe your child’s strengths and don't only feel the need to be negative—but everything you write should be truthful.

Also, helping the committee members understand your child with their strengths and challenges will help them make the best decision for everyone. Your child will be most successful if they attend the school that fits them best , and describing your child candidly will help the admissions committee decide if the school and your child are the best fit for one another. Children who succeed at their schools are happier and healthier and stand in better stead for college admissions.

Consider How Your Child Learns

The parent’s statement is a chance to describe how your child learns so that the admissions committee can decide if they are likely to benefit from being at the school. If your child has moderate to severe learning issues, reveal them. Many private schools grant students with learning issues  accommodations or changes in the curriculum, so that they can best demonstrate what they know.

Students with mild learning issues might be able to wait until they are admitted to the school to ask about the school’s accommodations policy, but students with more severe learning issues should ask about the school’s policies about helping them beforehand. You may also have to do some research into what kind of resources the school offers to help your child—before they attend the school. Being open and honest with the school will help you and your child find the school where they can be happy and successful.

How to Organize Your Letter

Parent statements for private schools are typically composed of three parts: description of your child, description of your family, and the alignment of your values with the school values. The first two or even all three may be blended together, as through descriptions of your child, the nature of your family and your values will come through.

Sometimes, school websites offer useful prompts to guide your letters, and if that is the case, you should definitely make use of them. Some of the frequent questions are:

• What do you hope for your child to accomplish with the help of our school?
• Has your child ever had any intellectual, emotional, or behavioral evaluations? If so, describe their contexts and results.
• In what situations does your child thrive? Describe your child as an individual, with their hopes, values, goals, aspirations, strengths, and weaknesses.
• Has your child been through any adversity? Describe the context and how they navigated it.
• What has your role been in your child's education?
• Does your child require any academic or other support or accommodations?

Ideally, your letter would respond to these questions as thoroughly, yet as succinctly as possible.

The simplest way to go about this is to choose three to five aspects of your child's personality that you would like to highlight and compose the statement around them. Include illustrative anecdotes that will also portray a little about your family life. If it comes naturally to you, feel free to make these funny or quirky, as you are ultimately trying to stand out from the rest of the applicants.

As mentioned, you should also make a point of familiarizing yourself with the school's values and objectives and show in your letter how connected these are to your family. The more natural this is the better. All in all, as long as you provide the admission officers with an honest snapshot of your family and your child's nature and potential, your letter will hold its ground.

Article edited by  Stacy Jagodowski

• 5 Mistakes to Avoid When Applying to Private School
• What Do Private School Admissions Committees Look For?
• Choosing the Best School for Your Child
• How to Fill Out the Standard Application to Private School
• Interview Questions for Private School Admissions
• How to Prepare for Private School Interviews
• Private School Admissions Guide
• 5 Common Private School Interview Questions
• Reasons Why You Should Consider Private School
• The Private School Waitlist: What to Do Now
• Is Private School Worth the Money?
• Private School Application Essay Tips
• 5 Things to Avoid at the Admission Interview
• How Do Private Schools Determine Aid?
• Can a Private School Withhold Transcripts for Nonpayment?
• 6 Ways to Pay for Private School

11 Parent Statement Tips for Private School Applications

Private schools aim to collect as much information from different sources about prospective students as possible during the application process. The perspective provided by parents and guardians is highly valued because no one knows your child better than you.

The real question is, how do you provide insight on an application form that helps schools see your child’s unique qualities?

Let’s review guidelines for the types of questions you’re likely to encounter below. The exact questions will vary from school to school, so the crucial takeaway when writing parent statements is to use examples and stories . For example, show how your child is creative, resilient, or empathetic through specific anecdotes instead of statements.

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<span class="text-color-orange" role="decoration">General Parent Statements</span> 

Many applications include a prompt similar to this: "A parent/guardian's perspective on your child's strengths and weaknesses is valuable. Please write a statement of recommendation for your child." When responding, keep the following guidelines in mind.

• One paragraph should review how your child is "smart," but don’t discuss grades or test scores here. Instead, focus on how your child is academically engaged and intellectually curious. Use stories and anecdotes to add depth. 
• Another paragraph, describe your child's character and personality. Don’t list adjectives here. Rather, use stories to bring your child to life on the page. 
• Finally, it's important to cover any challenges your child has faced and, most importantly, how they have overcome these challenges. Most schools ask about challenges and they can be wary if parents don't mention any.
• Avoid using too many words. Edit down your first draft so that the main statement is no more than three to five sentences per paragraph, and make sure to heed suggested word counts requested by the schools. Admissions teams have a lot of files to read, and if your essay is too long, you risk them skimming it and missing out on your key points.

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<span class="text-color-lightblue" role="decoration">School-Specific Questions </span>  

"Why are you applying to [our] school?" is another common question. These tips will help your answer stand out.

• Take notes on what the school says about themselves during open houses, visits, tours, etc. What is their mission statement? What are their stated values? Keep these notes handy as you eloquently match the school to your child and family. Again, use examples that really stick. 
• If you’ve visited the school or attended an open house, draw on SPECIFIC examples from your experience. Make sure your response is UNIQUE to your family and student. Don't list adjectives about the school. Tell a story or give an example about why you think your student would thrive in their environment. Is it the school's philosophy or the art program? The experiential learning component? Make sure to match this element to your child. 
• Review all answers before submitting the application to make sure you have the correct name of each school. It’s a common mistake for parents to cut and paste the wrong school name—and that’s never a good typo! 

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<span class="text-color-green" role="decoration">“Is there any further information?” </span>  

Given that applications have a limited number of questions for parents, each with word counts, this one provides valuable “real estate” to illustrate who your child is and something unique they would bring to the school. Here are some ways to take advantage of this opportunity that most parents skip. 

• This space can be used to tell the school about a learning difference that you think is relevant. If you think this will show up in your child’s record, it is a good idea to show that you know what is hard for your child and how you have partnered with the current school to help them succeed. 
• You could also use this section to describe the student’s diverse background of any kind. Schools are looking to create the most textured class possible. What will your child bring that is unique? 
• This question could be a space to tell a story that illustrates a difficult moment for your family and how your child coped. Habits of heart and mind are becoming more important for schools; they’re often screening for qualities like resilience. 
• Overall, you can discuss anything that wasn’t covered in the other parts of the application here. The information in this section should be relevant to understanding the student holistically and help the reader make sense of any apparent “holes” in the application. Keep in mind that this is not necessarily a place to list accolades or accomplishments. 

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<span class="text-color-orange" role="decoration">Thank You Notes </span>   

It’s always a good idea to send a thank you to the admission office or interviewer after a meeting or event. An email is fine, and in some ways, it’s easier since so many schools have paperless files. When you do this, think about the guidelines above and use this opportunity to match your unique child and family to the unique school!

Jamie Moffett is the founder of Walking Feet Advisors , an advising practice for families applying to independent schools. She previously served as the director of admission K–8 at Marin Country Day School in Corte Madera, Calif., where she worked for the last eighteen years.

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Parent Essays for Private Schools

Posted on: December 2, 2021

Sometimes they look a little sheepish when they ask.

“Katy, do you have any advice for us about the parent questions?”

The private school admissions process is often one that seems to throw unexpected curveballs every step along the way. And right when it feels like you are rounding third base, you notice that the application asks not only for your student to write an essay (or four…) but also for you to do the same. The request seems at once totally reasonable. It makes sense for a school to want an adult perspective on a young applicant. And yet it also seems out of the blue — after all, the parent isn’t the one applying to school!

The struggle with these questions tends to fall in to two camps:

“What are they looking for? Am I being evaluated?”

“I think my child is amazing, but I don’t want to brag.”

What are they looking for?

As with every time an admissions officer at any level of education is asked this question, they would say that the answer is authenticity . In this case, they’re usually looking for two things. First, how will your family connect with their community? Are they likely to see you at the sidelines of every field hockey game or front and center at the Annual Gala? Or both? They do not necessarily bring an agenda to reading these essays — every school needs both sideline spirit and Gala guests. But they are trying to envision the class community they are building as they look at all of the applications.

The second thing they’re looking for is your insight on your child. Even the most delightful and reflective 13-year-old is still a 13-year-old. Middle school students are just starting to develop the parts of their brain that allows them to understand some of their gifts and challenges. But the parents who love them probably have a good idea. So they are asking you to introduce yourself and your student to the admissions team.

Which brings us to the second anxiety: how much to say and how to say it.

What should you say?

I see parents falling into three traps with this issue: brevity, oversharing, and listing. While you always want to respect suggested word limits, I’d encourage you not to err too much on the side of brevity. When I was reading applications for private schools, I’d often read ten or fifteen applications at a time (hopefully in a quiet coffee shop, preferably with a fire, on a Saturday in January). If one of those applications has just a sentence or two and several others offer two or three paragraphs of insight on what this particular student may have to share, I felt a bit disappointed in the quick answer. It just did not give me much to go on.

But of course, be careful! The opposite can also happen. Several years ago, I read a response by a lovely parent of a lovely 8th grader. The question asked, “How does your child handle personal responsibility?” Much of the answer was a reflection on the parent’s part, that her daughter had not really ever been given responsibility. The answer detailed the parent’s guilt over this fact and dwelled more closely on the parent’s sense of having failed the child than on the answer to the question. It felt deeply personal and authentic, but it still missed the mark.

What should you NOT do?

Listing is perhaps the biggest pitfall I see. We are, naturally, quite proud of our child’s accomplishments. As good and supportive parents, we want to place our child squarely in the limelight, to let their experiences and triumphs speak for themselves. I often see parents use this space as a chance to list the things they are proud of: Her 3rd grade spelling bee ribbon; his 5th grade sportsmanship award. The problem with listing accomplishments is that probably these things are listed elsewhere in the application, under awards or extracurricular activities. So, you are essentially ceding your chance to show the great parts of who your student is as a person … but it’s the person that the admissions team is looking for.

The Takeaway: Parent Essay Advise

My advice to every parent is that you take this opportunity as a chance to thoughtfully consider both who your child is and what you want from the next school community you choose. Those answers are always a home run.

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• My Parents Essay in English for Students & Children

Essay on My Parents for Students & Children

An essay is basically a short version of expressing the writer’s perspective. It is very similar to a story or a short article. Essays can be written in a formal manner and also an informal manner. However, writing an essay at an early age helps to develop many skills in a child. 

Essay writing is included from the Class 1 to 4 English syllabus. That is why we, at Vedantu, have brought up this sample essay on ‘My Parents’ for your reference. You can take a look at it and use it as study material for your child’s learning.

My parents are my superheroes. They are my strength. They stand by me in every crisis of my life. They are the most important people in my life. I love my parents very much. I feel really happy and safe whenever I am with them.

We live in Bangalore but my parents are actually from Mumbai, Maharashtra. My mom is a nutritionist and my dad is a software engineer by profession. Both my parents are good at playing badminton and various other indoor games. My mom is also a good swimmer. I go to the swimming club in our society with her every Sunday to learn how to swim. 

My mom wakes up in the morning and prepares food for everyone. My dad also helps my mom. Then my dad helps me in getting ready for school every day. Meanwhile, my mom prepares my lunchbox and keeps it in my bag. She also keeps books and notebooks in my school bag as per my daily routine. My mom prepares really tasty food and so does my dad. I am really happy to have such great parents.

They take care of our health. While keeping unwell, my dad calls the doctor or takes me to the doctor so that I get recovered soon. They pray to God every day for my health. In addition to household chores, my mom also helps me out with my homework. 

We spend a lot of time together on the weekends and holidays. We go out to the movies or eat in the restaurant. During long vacations, we go to beautiful beaches or mountains to calm our nerves and refresh ourselves. My dad loves beaches while my mom is fond of hill areas. I like both. I just love spending my vacations with them. 

Everyone loves their parents because they support and save you from every evil thing. Not only do they protect us but also they sacrifice our well-being as well. The value of our parents cannot be described in words. We cannot rise and shine without them. They play a great role in our lives so that we can gain all the success and happiness in the world.

My parents are my biggest source of strength. They stand by me and help me whenever I am in trouble.  My parents make me feel safe at all times.

We live in Varanasi, but my parents are from Mumbai. My mother is a nutritionist and my father is a doctor by profession. My parents are good Badminton players, and I am also learning the game from them.  My mother is also a good swimmer and I accompany her to the swimming club in our society on all Sundays to learn how to swim.

 My mother makes breakfast and our tiffins every morning. Before she leaves for work, she makes sure to finish all the cooking for the day too. My father helps my mother with a lot of things. My father helps me and my brother in getting ready for school every day., while my mother is in the kitchen. Mother takes care not to forget to put our tiffin boxes inside our bags.  She also makes sure we have all our necessary books and notebooks in the schoolbags as per the daily routine. My mother is a great cook and prepares very delicious food. My father is a very good cook too and he enjoys cooking.

Parents take care of our health and look after us properly, and make sure I and my brother are very well taken care of. In addition to household chores, my mother also helps me with my homework, whenever I need help.

We spend a lot of time together and on weekends and holidays, we go out to the movies or eat-in restaurants. During vacations, we go for long holidays. My father is very fond of the sea and my mother prefers the hills. So we enjoy an equal share of both. And like my father, I also love the sea. 

I enjoy spending time with my parents, and I also get to spend time with my friends. My parents are very loving and understanding. The value of our parents cannot be described in words. They play a great role in our lives so that we can gain all the success and happiness in the world.

FAQs on My Parents Essay in English for Students & Children

1. What is Essay writing and why is it important?

An essay can best be described as a formal piece of writing which has only one topic. Essay writing  is very advantageous, especially for children. It gives children a chance to collect their thoughts and ideas together and put them down in words, in an elaborate manner. Essay writing is often considered a fun activity. It helps young children to use their imagination. Essay writing is recognized as very useful for kids, and it builds their linguistic skills as they grow older.

2. How can you teach young children to write an essay?

Teaching young children to write an essay involves certain steps, which will help them understand the flow that is required to write an essay. Steps like i) Teaching the young child the use of basic grammar and of writing skills, ii) teach them to make an outline, iii) encourage them to think, iv) note down all the points. Following these steps, the young child will learn how to place all the words together. This in turn, will become a fun activity for them too.

3. Why is My Parents' Essay important?

Essay writing is a habit that children learn from a young age. Essay writing encourages students to think and to write their thoughts on paper.’ My parents’ topic is a basic and very easy essay topic  every child is able to relate to. Writing their thoughts down is a way of encouraging them to utilize their brain power and their creativity, which will help build their writing skills.  Essay writing helps children think over a topic and then put those thoughts down on paper.

4. How can you help children write an essay on ‘My Parents’?

Helping children to write an essay on My Parents is not a difficult task as long as you have a few handy tips which should include the following points: names of both mother and father, their individual professions, their hobbies and how their hobbies are helping the children, the nature of both parents, etc. Once the children have answers to these basic questions, writing them down on paper will not be much difficult.

5. Where can you get samples of essays on ‘my Parent’?

Essay writing is important for all children and enables children to develop  many skills. It is also important to be able to practice some of the sample essays that are available for practice. The online portal, Vedantu.com offers sample essays for students of Class 1 upto Class 4,, that have been formulated in a  well structured, well researched, and easy to understand manner. These study materials and sample essay writings are all important and are very easily accessible from Vedantu.com and can be downloaded too.

Applications - The Parent's Statement

I wrote this article and its companion article Applications - The Candidate's Statement to explain how to understand and complete these important forms. The problem with these parts of the application is that they require you and your child to express your thoughts in your own words. You won't be able to check any boxes to select from prepared answers. You will have to write out responses to the school's questions in any way you choose.

David Petersam of Admissions Consultants offers some tips in the following video. While he targets colleges admissions, the advice is quite sound for private high school admissions.

Many schools require a statement from the applicant's parents. After all, you probably know your child better than anybody. The school also wants to know what your concerns and educational objectives are. The goal here is to make sure that everybody's expectations are the same. For example, if you want your son to play on a varsity hockey team and the school offers limited hockey time, you need to deal with that before you decide to send your son to that school. Perhaps your daughter finds math challenging. You will want to point that out so that the school can discuss how it might deal with that concern. The following questions posed by McCallie School and The Hun School are fairly typical of what you will encounter as you prepare your applications. I will add editorial comments to try to give you some insight into what the school might be looking for.

• What do you hope your child will accomplish at McCallie?
• From what activities does your child derive self-confidence?
• What are your child’s strengths and weaknesses? (Please comment on social characteristics: e.g., self-reliance, sense of humor, ability to mix, shyness, assertiveness, etc.)
• Include any particular concerns of which the school should be aware: e.g., Has your child experienced any difficult challenges or personal setbacks in recent years? Are there any medical conditions of which we should be aware?
• Has your child had any psychological or educational testing?
• Does your child regularly take any prescription medication?
• Does your child's health limit or interfere with the normal performance of everyday activities, including classwork, athletics, or other duties?
• Please make any additional comments about your child which you feel may be helpful to us.

The school is asking a lot of questions but, as this video demonstrates, the school is asking those questions for all the right reasons.

My comments

Always be realistic and honest. As far as accomplishments are concerned, you may want your child to go to Harvard but since that is a long shot, I would suggest mixing in your academic hopes with every parent's hope that your son will emerge at the end of high school confident that he can take on anything life throws at him.

You can probably assess your child's strengths and weaknesses better than anybody. Choose your words carefully. Allow the reader to feel your unconditional love and involvement with your son's upbringing through the years. A statement similar to the following acknowledges that there was a weakness and demonstrates how you addressed that weakness. "Jon used to struggle with math, but we found this wonderful tutor who showed Jon how to work math problems logically. Now he loves the subject."

If there are health issues, discuss them candidly but with bold strokes. There is no need to delve into clinical details. What the school really wants to know is that any medical issues have been dealt with.

Be careful with the last section which asks you to make any additional comments which you feel may be helpful. Focus on the positive. "Rich has just taken up riding. He really enjoys it which is why we decided to apply to your school." The school may be asking the questions but never forget that you are also a potential customer.

From The Hun School It is very helpful for us to learn about our applicants through their parents’ eyes. Your answers to these questions will help us to better understand your child’s social and educational needs. Please attach additional pages if necessary.

• Please list any relatives who have attended The Hun School (name, class, relationship).
• Please discuss your primary reason for considering a new school for your child.
• Describe your child as an individual, explaining briefly what you believe are his or her strengths, weaknesses, goals, and aspirations.
• Has your child ever had an educational evaluation? If so, please explain the circumstances and send us a copy of the written evaluation.
• Has your child ever required any academic support or accommodations? If so, please explain.
• What are your expectations of The Hun School?
• What role do you play in your child’s education?
• Please list the names, ages, and current schools of other children in your family.
• We welcome any additional comments you may wish to make.

Once again each school will ask for a snapshot of your child in your own words. Their reasons for wanting to know your child has much to do with getting the fit right, both for your child and the school.

As you can readily see from these two examples, the schools are assembling a composite picture of your child via written applications and statements, an interview and academic testing. Once the admissions staff has a clear idea of your child's strengths and weaknesses, interests and achievements, then it can begin to make a final determination as to whether your child will fit in and vice-versa. What you may not be aware is the size of the applicant pool. If there are fewer applicants for the available places, your child's chances could improve markedly.

Since so much is riding on the Parent's Statement, do the following:

• Download and print out the forms, even if you plan to apply online.
• Prepare a rough draft of your answers.
• Put that draft away for a day or two.
• When you have some quiet time, review the draft and revise it as necessary.
• If you have an educational consultant, be sure to discuss and review this part of the application with him.
• Make a fair copy of your answers.

Then set aside 30-45 minutes to enter the information online or to write it out in your neatest penmanship. Some schools may have PDF forms that you can fill out and print. In any case, take time to complete this step with great care. Your statement will create an impression of you and your family. You want that impression to be the best one possible. One last tip: use the Applications Calendar to keep on top of all the deadlines involved in the admissions process. There is much to organize in the application process. In most cases, the application process will collide with the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays and vacations. Bear that in mind as you schedule time for completing applications.

Don't forget to start your search for a private school at least 18 months before the date your child will actually start school. For example, if you are thinking of having her attend 10th grade, begin the process in the spring of her eighth grade. You will find that the last three or four months will be rather hectic. There is much to do at what is historically a very busy time of the year.

Questions? Contact us via Facebook. @privateschoolreview

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Sample Parent Statement for Private School Admissions

We love sharing practical tips about crafting parent statements on the Admit NY blog - check out our five top tips for writing parent statements here , and our expanded guide to parent statement structure here . 

Sometimes, though, the most helpful way for parents to conceptualize their parent statement is to read a sample. Look no further! Here’s a great sample parent statement that addresses all of the key points that private school admissions officers are looking for.  

Note that this is a fictional parent statement describing a fictional student. 

Sample Parent Statement for High School Applicants

Prompt: please tell us about your child and why you believe [school] would be a good fit for him/her..

Morgan’s most defining quality is that he does not do anything halfway. This has been the case ever since he was a young child: if he started a complicated LEGO set or a science fiction book, he just had to get it done and wouldn’t rest until he did. Morgan lives for the genuine sense of accomplishment that comes along with a job well done, and that commitment carries through his personal life and his life as a student. Morgan is committed to being there for his friends through thick and thin, and is frequently the first one to call or visit a friend when they’re having a difficult day. At school and in extracurriculars, Morgan dives wholeheartedly, and usually with a smile on his face, into each project he takes on and won’t give up until he achieves the result he’s looking for. 

Morgan’s commitment to participating fully in each area of his life, and achieving his goals, was gravely tested during the last year and a half of the COVID-19 pandemic. Like all of us, Morgan struggled for a beat in the early weeks of the pandemic with the sudden distance from his friends and shift to remote learning. But Morgan was quickly back in the saddle, strategizing how to continue doing his best given the changing circumstances. Morgan took the lead on organizing weekly friend hangout sessions with several of his classmates, and the group steadily expanded to reach almost 20 students connecting on Zoom for upwards of two hours each Thursday evening. While many other students resigned themselves to severely limited academic progress in the spring of 2020, Morgan wouldn’t accept it. He emailed his teachers and met with them virtually to plan the best way to maintain his progress toward the goals he’d set at the beginning of the semester. Throughout it all, Morgan was upbeat, sunny, and focused on making the most out of a difficult situation. We were incredibly proud of the way his core commitment to living life to its fullest shone through even in the world’s darkest moments. 

The academic pursuits that Morgan was particularly passionate about keeping up during the pandemic were his math and science classes. Morgan is deeply invested in STEM, and has a natural aptitude for numbers and scientific thinking. Math, particularly algebra, is very satisfying to Morgan; it might be because the sense of accomplishment that comes along with solving a difficult algebra formula mirrors that sense of accomplishment Morgan enjoys when he brings any sort of project to completion. 

While math and science are Morgan’s favorite subjects, he is a well-rounded student with strong skills in English. Morgan has been a voracious reader since first grade, and it was difficult to provide a steady enough stream of books during the pandemic to satisfy his increased capacity for reading. (Once again, the satisfaction of turning the last page on a long, fascinating book is one of Morgan’s sincere joys.) One of the creative ways that Morgan brought his friends together during quarantine was a monthly book club. While the students were already reading a couple of classic novels in their English class, they decided that they wanted to venture into science fiction reading as well. Morgan and one of his best friends researched a variety of sci-fi novels, organized them into a selection for each month, and led a monthly book club meeting to discuss their favorite parts. We eavesdropped a little on one of these meetings and heard the boys enthusiastically debating which would be “cooler,” settling on the moon or on Mars, based on a storyline in their most recent novel. 

Outside of school and his monthly book club, Morgan is committed to athletics. In his first weeks of middle school, Morgan decided that he wanted to join the cross country team. Morgan had never been seriously involved in sports before, and frankly we (his parents) are not particularly athletic! But a few of Morgan’s friends loved their sports teams, and Morgan was interested in trying something new. So, he began attending cross country practice after school almost every weekday. At first, Morgan didn’t really like running. He was struggling to get through the team’s longer runs, and doing anything halfway is not Morgan’s favorite thing. Progress seemed far off, and we thought that Morgan would ultimately quit cross country. But all of the sudden, Morgan started seeing improvement. In true Morgan fashion, he took the initiative to pick out a running book from the library and read it in three days flat, immediately implementing some improvements to his running stride. Within two months, Morgan was able to finish longer runs, and started inching up the leaderboard at team meets. These days, Morgan is a casual but enthusiastic runner. He knows that he isn’t destined to be the fastest athlete on the team, but he finds real fulfilment in constantly seeking to beat his personal record. After finishing a particularly fast run along the West Side Highway with a friend last week, Morgan got home sweaty, panting, and smiling, and said “I think I’m finally getting the hang of this!”

As Morgan approaches the search for a high school, he is as committed as ever to participating fully in the process and not doing anything halfway. He hopes to join a community of similar students, who are ambitious, kind, passionate learners, and interested in a diverse variety of subjects and activities. Morgan has always enjoyed building relationships with his teachers so we are also seeking a school where teachers are approachable and accessible. Morgan also appreciates an environment where he and his peers are encouraged to take initiative and craft their own projects. For all of these reasons (and many more), we believe that [SCHOOL] would be a great fit for Morgan. With a close-knit and engaged student body that participates in a wide variety of classes and clubs, Morgan would have no problem finding STEM friends, running friends, and reading friends. He would love [SCHOOL]’s independent study program; developing an innovative project idea, recruiting friends to join him, and executing the project all the way through completion are all Morgan’s unique strengths. We feel confident that if Morgan attended [SCHOOL], he would graduate with a broad portfolio of successes that reflect the school’s commitment to helping every student harness their passion, and Morgan’s commitment to doing his very best. 

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Understanding Permissive Parenting: Definition and Impact on Child Development

This essay about permissive parenting examines its definition and impact on child development. Permissive parents are loving but provide few rules, leading to potential issues like lack of discipline and self-control in children. The essay discusses the balance needed between warmth and structure to ensure positive outcomes such as strong parent-child bonds and the development of creativity and problem-solving skills while mitigating negative effects like aggression and dependency.

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Understanding Permissive Parenting: Definition and Impact on Child Development. (2024, May 28). Retrieved from https://papersowl.com/examples/understanding-permissive-parenting-definition-and-impact-on-child-development/

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Parent Statements For Private High School Admissions

Christopher Coleman

December 2, 2020

When writing Parent Statements for private high school admissions, you must remember : you’re not writing your child’s resumé. For the purposes of this article, pretend that you are no longer a parent of a boarding school applicant. Instead, you are a boarding school admissions officer. Your job is to review applications and identify the applicants that are the best fit for your school from a large applicant pool. As a boarding school admission officer, you will read each page of every single admission application, which is standard operating procedure. 

In reviewing admission applications, you will read Parent Statements for private high school admissions . They will, hopefully, provide you with further information about the applicant. See, teacher recommendations primarily describe an applicant from an academic perspective. Transcripts will paint the picture of how much care the applicant puts into his or her studies. An activity list will explain how the applicant spends time outside of the classroom. What completes the applicant’s profile is information about them from the parents’ perspective, a unique vantage point that can provide very important information…or not.

As an admissions officer, Parent Statements can influence you in one of three ways: excite you, frustrate or bore you, or make little impression on you at all. 

What Should Entail Parent Statements for Private High School Admissions?

For whatever it’s worth, I am the parent of a child who is both a boarding school graduate and a college graduate. I have experienced both sides of the admission process, so I know the position in which you are in currently. 

Now, you might be thinking, “How can Parent Statements be anything but helpful and wonderful as they are written by kind, caring, and loving parents who only seek to support their children’s candidacies, Christopher?” In composing Parent Statements for private high school admissions , the writers  are only being, well, parents. More often than not, though, a parent’s point of view might come off as too promotional or lacking in objective insights. Translation: parents embody the statement made famous by Malcom X in that they wish to help their children gain admission to a school “by any means necessary,” touting their child as the second coming of Marie Curie, Serena Williams, or Stephen King. In reality, even though they are written with good intentions, these types of Parent Statements hurt their child’s application the most.

Let’s be honest. Parent Statements rarely make or break the success or failure of an admission application. Only in very rare cases has an applicant been accepted or denied admission solely based on the weight of a Parent Statement. So, it is best for parents to provide honest and objective information that will determine what kind of impact your child could make if he or she were to join that school’s community. 

Examples of Parent Statements

With that said, we’ll use the prompt and Parent Statement copied below as a sample for what ingredients should go into successful Parent Statements for private high school admissions .

Prompt: Please share with us the values you've instilled in your child and how our community might benefit from those values/lessons.

Response: We’ve taught our son Jimmy the value of volunteering and that not only does it benefit others, but that volunteering can also be a benefit to himself. Following our suggestion, Jimmy chose to volunteer on Saturdays at our neighborhood’s community center. He tutors younger kids in math and science. While the community center director has explained to my husband and me that Jimmy seems to be in a “happy place” whenever he tutors. The director also pointed out that Jimmy has a lot of fun interacting with the other children. My husband and I also noticed an increase in Jimmy’s grades since he started volunteering. You know what they say, the best way to learn is to teach.

Even more, Jimmy has also found that helping others is a practical way to further his own interests. During summer break, Jimmy loves to go fishing, but knows that he cannot go to the lake behind our house without being accompanied by an adult. My husband and I work during the day Monday through Friday and have lots of chores and errands on the weekends. So in previous summers, we have not had much time to take Jimmy fishing. To solve this issue, Jimmy taught his grandmother how to fish and goes fishing with her almost every day!

Experiencing firsthand the benefits of helping out others has made a positive impact on Jimmy’s life. My husband and I believe that as a student at your school, Jimmy would be likely to join or supervise a community service project or choose to become a peer tutor.  

Assessing the Example

Using the above example, here is how you, as an admission officer, should assess it:

• Clean writing. There are no spelling or grammar errors and the sentences should flow together. You should expect to compose several drafts for each of your Parent Statements. Take the time in between each draft so that you read each draft with a fresh perspective. 
• Answer the prompt. In directly answering the prompt, the Parent Statement provided a load of information about Jimmy. It pays for parents to brainstorm their child’s positive personality traits prior to responding to each prompt. These descriptors can act as a guide and give direction to the answer.
• No GPAs or academic accolades were found in this response.   I understand being proud of a child’s academic performance as a parent. However, the admissions officer will gain an understanding of that through academic transcripts and recommendations. Your job is to give further perspective on your child. Jimmy’s grades improved as a result of his behavior, but the grades themselves were not included.
• Tell a story…but not a novel. First and foremost, everyone likes a good story. Why do you think we watch movies and read books? The above example provides insight into Jimmy’s personality and his character. His academics have improved since becoming a tutor. He derives joy from helping and interacting with other children. He likes to fish. His family has set rules that Jimmy follows. One also learns that Jimmy is a problem-solver and has a positive relationship with family members from older generations. Lastly, by teaching his grandmother to fish, he now can participate in an activity he enjoys. The implication in all of this is that, if accepted, these are the qualities that Jimmy has to offer any school.
• Parent Statements do not have to be as dry as legal documents or tax forms or be as tedious to read as assembly directions for an Ikea dresser. Adding interesting details or humor to a Parent Statement will benefit its readability.
• Imagine a stack of Parent Statements stretching from your living room’s floor to its ceiling. As you are still reading this article, you are still an admissions officer. If your school requires each applicant’s parents to write five Parent Statements and during the course of an admission cycle you need to read 853 or more admission applications, you might just end up reading thousands of Parent Statements. From that perspective, you become quite eager to read Parent Statements that neither bore you, are majorly hyperbolic nor leave you with little to no insights into the applicant.

I hope that this blog has provided you with the basics towards building great Parents Statements for private high school admissions . When writing them, remember to think like an admission officer and not as a parent. If you were reviewing an admission application, what kind of Parent Statements would you find enjoyable to read and most insightful into an applicant’s personality? Did the Parent Statement you wrote meet those two criteria?

My best advice to you: Parent Statements are only meant to tell the parents’ side of a child’s story, not all of it. Put the care and attention into telling your side of your child’s story and do it well, leaving a positive impression.

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Childhood Isn't Easy, but Parenting Is Hard

Three tips for the new or battle-tested parent..

Posted May 30, 2024 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

• A Parent's Role
• Find a family counsellor near me
• Only having a child can get you ready for having a child.
• It is important to differentiate between who kids are and what they do.
• The relationship between parents is key.

World-renowned couple’s therapist David Schnarch once said to a couple who was worried that they got married before they were ready, “What makes you think you’re ever ready for marriage ? Marriage gets you ready for marriage!”

Put that sentiment on creatine and you have what having your first child is like for so many. Only having a child can get you ready for having a child.

That’s why over the years I’ve collected some ideas that parents, new or battle-tested, have found the most helpful when working with me. I'm going to share with you below my top three. These are not the only rules, but they are the ones that parents have found the most helpful and have often not heard before.

1. Differentiate Between Who They Are and What They Do

"We judge everyone by what they do, but we judge ourselves by how we feel .” This is why the metrics of our life can look great to everyone, and yet to ourselves, something can still feel off; no matter what I do, something inside still feels wrong. This is a painful way to live, and often the roots of it can be found in childhood .

Being a parent means watching your child constantly do things that are wrong, or even bad. However, what we understand as bad with our grown-up brains can be maturational to a child. Drawing on the walls with crayons is bad, yet to a 3-year-old it can be an expression of curiosity and creativity . So, what’s the move? We can’t allow our kids to decorate our living rooms like a subway car from the ’80s, but telling or even yelling “you’re bad!” as a response to authentic expression deposits shame inside of a child and can be the seed that grows into the feeling that there’s just something fundamentally wrong in me.

That’s why, whenever possible, we want to differentiate between who our kids are, and what they do. The simple statement of “I love you very much, and you just did a bad thing” can do just that.

2. Don’t Create Too Much Energy Around Anything

This one tends to confuse people at first, but once they get it, they really get it. Not creating too much energy doesn’t mean being removed, passive, numbed out, or not caring. We want our kids to experience us as passionate, present, and fully engaged. So, this is where it may get confusing, because we’re not talking about a “to do” as much as we’re talking about the energy we create around the things we do.

As Gabor Mate said, “Of all environments, the one that most profoundly shapes the human personality is the invisible one: the emotional atmosphere in which the child lives during the critical early years." This may sound woo-woo, but young children are like a Stratovarius-easily out of tune based on the environment and the energy we bring. So as an example, a parent who is obese using food to self-regulate is creating a lot of energy around food. On the other end of the spectrum, however, you may have a parent who is severely restrictive with how they eat and as a result has barely any food in the house. Though there is nothing to eat and no food in sight, there is still a ton of energy being created around food. And the examples are endless, whether it be religion, football, discipline, etc.—it’s amazing the things we create so much energy around.

This matters because when too much energy is created around anything, it becomes difficult for a child to develop their own healthy, authentic relationship with that thing. I have worked with so many patients who have felt at a complete loss as to why their eating and exercise is a mess, why they can’t stay disciplined, or why one mistake leads them into a debilitating anxious state. So often we find it comes from the energy that was created around those things as they grew up.

A Buddhist friend of mine once explained the idea of non- attachment to me like this: Instead of grabbing and holding something by the scruff of its neck, you just allow it to rest gently in the palm of your hand. This idea, combined with our own awareness begins the to-do. You may have always felt, "Any child of mine is going to be an athlete ." Well, instead of taking basketball by the scruff of its neck, and shoving it in front of your kid, present it to them by allowing it to rest gently in the palm of your hand.

3. There’s No Such Thing as a Parenting Hack, but if There Were, This Would Be It

You’re mid-flight, just a few rows back from the cockpit. Through the door, you can hear the pilot yell, “You’re an idiot! You have no idea what you’re doing!” The co-pilot screams back, “Shut up, just shut up! How dare you talk to me like that?!” The pilot: “Oh my God, you’re making this about me? Do not turn this around and make this my fault!” Co-pilot: “You’re insane, do you know that? Insane! This is completely about you. You’re just so damn righteous you can’t see a damn thing!"

Then suddenly the doors of the cockpit fly open, and the pilot and co-pilot are kneeling in front of you at your seat. “We just want you to know we’re so glad you’re flying with us,” says the pilot. “It’s true,” says the co-pilot. “And we both want you to know we love you very much.”

I don’t know about you, but this would scare the ever-loving crap out of me.

And yet, unwittingly children get put into this kind of situation all the time. Because for all the information out there on how to parent, the most important aspect often goes untouched—the relationship between mom and dad.

It is so important to remember that during the formative years of childhood, everything biologically, psychologically, socially, and even spiritually are being formed. Nothing is certain for the child—everything is being shaped and discovered. It is akin to being on a wild plane ride and having no choice but to trust the pilots. That is why my number one rule of parenting is a loving relationship between mom and dad . If there’s a parenting hack, this is it. Because if a couple can cultivate that, so many other things will fall into place. Often, we can get so lost in what we believe must happen for “good parenting,” that a couple will battle each other on who’s right, and the relationship itself goes out the window.

Unfortunately, no amount of love we give to a child can counteract the environment we create. And so for our kids to feel safe, calm, loved, and like their lives are moving in the right direction, it begins with the parents' relationship, which is ultimately the world we’re building around them.

Josh Jonas is a licensed psychotherapist specializing in men's mental health and is the Co-owner and Clinical Director of The Village Institute for Psychotherapy in Manhattan, NY.

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My Parents Are Famous in Their Profession. No One Knows the Truth About Them.

Everyone thinks they’re wonderful people..

Slate Plus members get more  Care and Feeding  every week. Have a question about kids, parenting, or family life?  Submit it here !

Dear Care and Feeding,

My parents come across as amazing people. They are both well-known academics in their fields and active in social justice circles. They use much of their generational wealth for philanthropic projects. My mom sits on the board of a famous charity; my dad is liked wherever he goes.

They were also profoundly, viciously abusive to me when I was growing up, and they kicked me out when I was 17 and they found out I was gay. They made efforts to reconnect with me a few years later, and I’m ashamed to say I accepted money from them to avoid being homeless again. They told me that as long as I remained single, they were willing to financially support me. I abided by their terms, took a lot more abuse, and got a college degree. The second I was able to support myself and get scholarships for my postgraduate education, I stopped speaking to them. At that point, they told everyone who would listen that their son cruelly cut them off and was a drug addict who stole from them (not remotely true).

It has been years now, and I still encounter people in my own field who know my parents or know of them, and think they’re wonderful people. When I’ve briefly indicated that we don’t speak anymore, I get pressed for reasons. If I invoke homophobia, people actually argue with me (this simply cannot be true, they insist). It’s unbearable. My time in therapy didn’t prepare me for this sort of exchange. What are you supposed to do when you encounter people who defend your abusers? How should I respond? My policy has been to grimace and disengage, but people still press. I’m worried I might snap someday and reveal horrible details of my upbringing. Can you advise on how to handle this and what to say when this happens?

—Son of Champagne Social Justice Warriors

I’m so sorry your parents failed you, harmed you, and continue to wrong you. You’re right, of course: They’re hypocrites, and no amount of social justice activism or good-cause philanthropy makes up for being abusive parents. I don’t have to tell you that, I know. But while I imagine that it’s intensely painful to hear people talk about how wonderful they are, when you know better, I don’t think it’s serving you to (even) “briefly indicate” that you are estranged from them. It invites a question you don’t want to be asked, because you know what the reaction to your response will be. Now, if the person going on and on about your parents’ greatness is someone you feel close to—or would like to get closer to—then it’s worth a real conversation, in which you are honest (and you do reveal important, though horrible, details about your life, your upbringing, and your parents’ false fronts).

But if—as I think you’re saying—the people you’re having these conversations with are colleagues in your field with whom you don’t have a personal relationship, scholarly acquaintances you run into once a year at conferences, or complete strangers with whom you’re exchanging polite chatter, who bring up your parents and sing their praises, I would suggest you nod, say something noncommittal, and move on to another subject. If they insist on going on about these paragons of excellence, a blank look is a nice rejoinder—as is a shrug in response to, “It must be so wonderful, having such parents!” Only the rudest of people would press on (and it’s perfectly OK to excuse yourself and walk away from such people). In other words: You don’t have to engage with others on this painful subject. Not unless you want to. And then, if you do, let it be on your terms, for your own reasons.

More Advice From Slate

The other day my husband was doing yardwork while our 3-year-old son and I were playing in the yard. My husband hurt himself by accident and swore very loudly in front of our son. Now our son keeps saying “f*ing sh*t.”

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How to Cope With the Sudden Loss of a Child

Parents coping with the sudden death of a child are dealing with immeasurable grief. Find tips to help you and your family deal with a sudden loss.

Stick Together

Seek professional help, accept help.

• Prepare for "After the Casseroles Are Done"

Continue Seeking Support

Find a support group, pay attention to your health, avoid negative people, get everyone back into routines, use creative outlets, stay a family.

When a loved one dies at an older age, people often take comfort not only in celebrating their life but also in knowing that death is part of the natural process of living . This experience is not the same when you are faced with the loss of a child.

For parents who have lost a child, it makes no sense for life to end at such a young age—particularly when the death is sudden and without warning. The loss cuts so deep that it can be suffocating. If you are dealing with this type of loss in your family, here are some ways to help you and your family heal. Here, we will learn more about how families might try to cope with the devastating loss of a child, even though it may feel impossible.

PeopleImages / Getty Images

Stick together as a family and lean on each other for help. While everyone in the family will need to have their private time, you also can find comfort in each other. Being together can help you remember that you are not alone in your grief . Use the strength of your family's sense of belonging to help you manage your sorrow. Be there to support one another consistently.

Although it was once believed that the death of a child led to a high divorce rate among bereaved parents, scientific research does not support this.

In a commonly cited study on the topic, the non-profit support group  Compassionate Friends conducted an extensive study of parental response to their partner after the death of a child. They found that 72% of couples stayed together after their child passed away, 16% of respondents were widowed, and only 12% of couples got divorced.  Some couples express they actually felt closer to their partner after experiencing the same life-changing event together.

Facing the loss of a child can certainly put enormous strain on mental health, a marriage, and on each parent's relationship with surviving children. Seek professional help when coming to terms with your loss. Don't try to get through this situation on your own. Family counseling can give you and your family the skills you need to get through the tremendously difficult loss.

If death is sudden, grief is not necessarily greater than it would have been with an anticipated death. But it may be harder to cope with because it is so surprising and disruptive, according to Therese Rando , a psychologist and the clinical director of The Institute for the Study and Treatment of Loss.

For this reason, it is important to find a professional who can help you find workable coping solutions that can be integrated in your daily life and help you continue to function, even that means doing simple things like showering and eating. These strategies will help you manage the days, weeks, and months ahead. Meanwhile, your other children may also benefit from grief counseling to learn to manage their feelings.

Be open and willing to accept help from extended family members, friends, or neighbors. Don't try to do everything on your own. Give yourself the break you need. And, if people have said things like, "let me know how I can help," take them up on their offer. Those around you have the desire to help, but they may not know how.

Here are some ways you can allow friends or family to help:

• Help with the laundry.
• Go grocery shopping for you.
• Cook meals.
• Watch your other children.
• Clean the house.
• Run errands.
• Be there to listen when you need to talk.

Prepare for "After the Casseroles Are Done"

There are two distinct time periods after a loss that can help you understand the grieving process. The first is immediately following the death, when extended family, friends, and community gather. It is the time period when you are dealing with funerals and memorial services and there is lots of activity.

The second phase comes "after the casseroles are done," which describes the time when all of the food that was given to the family by neighbors and friends is gone. Everyone else gets back to life as they know it and the grieving family begins to face life without the one they lost.

Most people assume that the period immediately following the death is the most heart-rending nightmare. What they do not realize is that the heart-rending nightmare continues. The family has to continue to cope as they are facing the rest of their lives without the child they lost. This new reality is by far one of the most trying.

Although it is tempting to just shut down, keeping the lines of communication open and spending quality time together is important. Talking to each other about your loss, the loved one who has died, and what you are feeling will help everyone in your family process their grief. It also will help your family's bonds remain strong or grow stronger. Knowing that their family is still strong can help your other children successfully navigate their grieving process .

While getting help to see you through the initial shock of your loss is very important, it is also imperative to continue seeking professional help. You will need support for any unforeseen issues that the loss may cause, especially as you move through the stages of grief.

Issues may crop up like a sibling's grades dropping, teen depression, or a family member no longer wanting to live without the loved one who died. It is much easier to get help in these situations when you are already seeing a professional who knows you and what your family is going through. Then, when problems arise, you have a person who can help you process what is happening and work through it.

Many parents find that it helps to join a support group, either as a family or alone. While it doesn't take the place of seeing a dedicated professional, groups can add another layer of support, especially if grief is making you feel isolated and lonely. Not only do grief support groups offer the opportunity to connect with people who are experiencing the same thing you are, but healthy support groups often provide a safe place to share what you are thinking and feeling with people who have been through the same thing.

As much as your friends want to empathize and be there for you, there are just some elements about losing a child that they just may not comprehend. For this reason, support groups can be vital to the healing process.

More often than not, parents and their children are so overcome with grief over the sudden loss of a loved one, that they neglect their own health . They may forget to eat, stop exercising, and rely on less nutritious convenience foods because they just don't have the energy to cook. They also might neglect regular doctor visits and checkups.

While it is important to make an effort to eat nutritious foods and get some exercise, don't beat yourself up for not going to the gym or cooking elaborate meals. Take baby steps to get back on track. For instance, set a goal of taking a short walk through the neighborhood each day and eating a piece of fruit with your meals.

As you start feeling better, you can add more healthy lifestyle changes and routines back into your life. Most people find that when they feel better physically, they also start to feel better mentally. But give yourself time to readjust, and don't put too much pressure on yourself to return to your regular habits.

There are plenty of people out there who just don't know how to respond with compassion and empathy to what you and your family are experiencing. They make say insensitive comments or they may put unrealistic expectations on you. They may say things like "you should be over this by now" or "at least you have another child." None of these things are healthy for you or your family.

Grief is a process. There is never a point where you are suddenly over it. You will get to a point where you can smile and laugh again. But, that doesn't mean that you have fully recovered from the fact that you lost a child.

Losing a child suddenly changes you. If there are toxic friends in your life who cannot respect your feelings and treat you with kindness, you need to weed them out. You do not need more pain and sadness in your life. Surround yourself with people who are supportive and caring. Doing so will make the grieving process much more bearable.

Routines provide a sense of comfort and security, especially for children. As a result, it's important to incorporate your usual routines back into your life as soon as you can. This effort can include the daily routines of getting ready for school and work, having dinner together, or participating in family traditions like game nights. It also includes being active with hobbies and interests you had prior to your child's death.

If kids are on a sports team, they should go back to practice. While some kids might need a break, it's important that they eventually go back to school and get into a routine of studying. Meanwhile, if one of your family routines needs to be changed because your loved one is no longer there, acknowledge it. Getting back into a routine doesn't mean that you have to pretend like things are the same.

Get everyone a journal or sketch pad and suggest that they use it when they are feeling down. It often helps to express grief through journaling, drawing, or painting. Other options include creating a playlist in memory of your child, writing a poem, or creating a song—anything that provides a creative outlet for your grief.

Creative outlets can help you make sense of your feelings. Make sure you are providing plenty of opportunities for you and your family members to express grief and heal .

Lean on your family for comfort, and remember that your lost child is still a part of it. Everyone in your family will carry the lost child in their hearts for the rest of their lives. Create a family tradition that will help you remember the good memories you had together. In fact, there is research-back evidence that finding ways to maintain the bond between parents and the child they lost helps them cope and move forward. Try the following:

• Participating in a community walk or a run in memory of your child
• Performing random acts of kindness in memory of your child
• Donating time or money to a cause close to your child's heart
• Creating a scholarship fund in your child's name
• Planting a tree or shrub in your child's memory

Be as creative as you want, and stay true to a project in honor of the child you lost that makes sense for your family.

The grief that accompanies losing a child suddenly is unlike anything you will ever experience. It shocks your system. And while coping with the loss will not be easy, if you make a concerted effort to stick together as a family and take care of yourselves, you will make it through.

Divorce and parity progression following the death of a child: A register-based study from Finland . Popul Stud (Camb) . 2018.

Bereavement Experiences after the Death of a Child . National Academies Press. 2003.

The Importance of Family Routines . American Academy of Pediatrics . 2007.

When a child dies: a systematic review of well-defined parent-focused bereavement interventions and their alignment with grief- and loss theories. BMC Palliative Care. 2020.

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5 Custom ChatGPTs For Innovative Parents

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Artificial Intelligence is supporting innovative parents to transform their child’s learning .

OpenAI has announced that all GPTs are now free for ChatGPT users. This gives parents unprecedented access to custom AI tools designed to enhance educational experiences.

GPTs are AI chatbots created by users for specific purposes, such as assisting students with school tasks. Users can then choose to display them on the GPT Store for all users to access for free.

There are many education based GPTs available for parents and schools to use. Here are five GPTs that can revolutionize how you assist your child's education.

Five GPTs for Innovative Parents

1. tutor me, world no. 1 djokovic survives 5-set epic to advance in french open match that ends after 3 am, apple insider details an expensive iphone pro decision, new android warning shows why iphone is impossible to beat.

Khan Academy's "Tutor Me" GPT is designed to assist with your child's math, science and humanities work.

The GPT assists children through the problem-solving process, fostering critical thinking and independent learning. I asked it directly how it helps children learn and it responded: “Instead of giving answers directly, I ask questions to help them think and understand the material on their own.”

This could be a valuable resource for parents who wish to supplement their child's schoolwork by providing additional support and reinforcing the learning process outside of the classroom. The individualized approach could help build confidence in your children and make learning more enjoyable.

2. Digital Escape Room Creator

This GPT, created by Louise Jones, a community manager at ThingLink in Scotland, helps parents design educational escape rooms filled with puzzles and themes.

I prompted the GPT with the instructions: “My child is studying photosynthesis. Can you create an escape room activity we can do at home to reinforce their learning.” The GPT designed an extensive activity and suggested materials from home that could be used.

The Digital Escape Room Creator could help children who struggle with traditional learning methods by engaging and motivating them when learning at home.

3. Historical Adventure Guide

For parents who want to cultivate an interest in history, the Historical Adventure Guide GPT offers a unique approach.

It’s a ‘choose your own adventure’ GPT created by Jeremy Mikla, an instructional technology specialist from Minnesota. It crafts interactive guides that place your child at the center of the action. I tried it out and explained: “I want to learn about the Viking history of Lindisfarne island.” I loved that it guided me through the history in an engaging story where I got to choose the next steps.

By immersing children in historical events, places, people and cultures, this GPT makes history come alive in a way that textbooks cannot.

4. GPT Teacher

Homework can often be a source of stress for both parents and children.

This GPT, created by Daniel García from Digital Diabetes in Spain, is designed to alleviate this stress by assisting with daily homework tasks. Parents can upload a PDF with homework and the GPT will quiz your child and check their answers. This not only helps ensure homework is completed correctly but also reinforces learning by providing immediate feedback.

This tool is particularly useful for busy parents who want to stay involved in their child's education without being overwhelmed.

5. A World of Words

Expanding vocabulary is crucial for language development, and "A World of Words" is an interactive dictionary GPT that helps students explore the English language in depth.

The GPT, created by Byron King, a deputy headteacher from the UK, provides definitions, etymology, history and proper usage of words, showing them in specific contexts. This GPT can support writing and comprehension skills, making language learning an engaging exploration.

One of the standout features of "A World of Words" is its ability to link words to particular genres, which can help students understand how vocabulary varies across different types of writing. This can be particularly useful for students who are working on writing assignments, as it provides them with the tools they need to choose words that fit the context and tone of their work.

The Potential to Transform Home Learning

These five GPTs offer innovative ways for parents to engage with their children's education, making learning more personalized, interactive and enjoyable.

GPTs can help parents provide tailored support that addresses their child's unique needs and interests. It is essential to note that GPTs use ChatGPT AI technology, which means they can sometimes get things wrong and display bias. According to OpenAI's terms of use, users must be at least 13 years old, and those under 18 must have parental or guardian permission. Parents should read these terms with their children to ensure they understand the guidelines.

The availability of free GPTs in the GPT Store marks a significant development in educational technology. This change allows parents to become more involved and proactive in their children's learning journey. With these tools, the expertise and creativity of parents can directly impact their child's education, fostering a more inclusive and efficient learning environment.

Try some of these GPTs for yourself and if you have a paid ChatGPT account, you can even create your own to help other parents.

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Jennifer Lopez is in family mode after rumors of marriage trouble with husband Ben Affleck .

The superstar was spotted spending time with her 16-year-old Emme after abruptly canceling her This Is Me… Live tour . The mother-child duo was photographed chatting while shopping at a flea market in Los Angeles on Sunday.

An eyewitness tells Page Six that Lopez, 54, did not appear to be very cheerful as they browsed the vendors for about 45 minutes.

She did, however, affectionately wrap her arm around Emme’s shoulder at one point.

The “Let’s Get Loud” singer — who is also mom to Emme’s twin, Max — looked stylish for the outing in a houndstooth blazer, black top and flared jeans.

JLo accessorized her chic ensemble with aviator sunglasses and a black Birkin bag. She was also notably wearing her wedding ring .

Meanwhile, Emme kept it casual in a graphic tee, baggy denim shorts and sneakers. The teen also wore a baseball cap and headphones.

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The sighting comes days after the “Hustlers” actress decided to pull the plug on her summer tour to focus on her personal life.

The sudden update followed reports that she and Affleck, 51, are headed for divorce .

“I am completely heartsick and devastated about letting you down. Please know that I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t feel that it was absolutely necessary,” she told fans in her “On the JLo” newsletter Friday.

“I promise I will make it up to you and we will all be together again. I love you all so much. Until next time…”

Live Nation also confirmed the tour cancellation with a statement that read, “Jennifer is taking time off to be with her children, family and close friends.”

Just hours later, Lopez appeared somber when she was spotted exiting Mihran K. dance studio in Burbank, Calif., on Friday.

She flashed a brief smile as she said goodbye to members of her team before taking off in a white vehicle.

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