6 page essay how long to write

6 Page Essay: Examples, Topics, & Word Count

What does a six page essay look like? If you’re searching for an answer to this question, you’re in the right place! Such a paper is a standard high school and college assignment. That’s why it might be written on almost any topic. Police brutality, the Holocaust, obesity, and overpopulation are just some examples.

A 6 page essay word count is usually 1450 to 1500 words (12 pt., double-spaced). The length of a typical academic paragraph is 100 to 150 words. So, there are 10 to 15 paragraphs in a six page essay.

If you need 6 page essay examples, take a look at the list below. We’ve collected A+ samples for you to get inspired. Good luck with your essay!

6-page Essay Examples: 9140 Samples

Innovation in history: how guns changed the world.

• Subjects: Sociology Violence
• Words: 1493

Social Security System In The United States

• Subjects: Economics Finance
• Words: 1969

Professional Issues for Child and Youth Care Practitioners in School Based Settings

• Subjects: Education Teacher Career
• Words: 1787

Al-JAZEERA “Arabic Television Network”

• Subjects: Business Company Analysis
• Words: 1631

Literature Study on Rising Incidence of Cyber Pedophilia

• Words: 1671

Drawing Lessons for Beginners

• Subjects: Art Paintings
• Words: 2117

EatNGas Performance Appraisal System

• Subjects: Business Management

Management of Information Systems

• Words: 1736

Saudi Arabia’s Oil Sector

• Subjects: Economics Inflation

Analysis and Review of the Decisions made in the Simulation of the Lenity Hospital for Advanced Care (LHAC)

• Subjects: Health & Medicine Healthcare Institution
• Words: 1655

Adult Learning and Education

• Subjects: Adult Education Education
• Words: 1628

Trends in Consumer Buying Habits

• Subjects: Consumer Science Economics
• Words: 1703

Happiness and Morality

• Subjects: Ethics Sociology
• Words: 1828

Organizing and Leading with RI Strategy

• Words: 1626

Towards the Conceptualization of a Non–Linear ISD Model

• Subjects: Approach to Learning Education
• Words: 1302

Maternal Mortality: Situations, Policies and Programs

• Subjects: Health & Medicine Healthcare Research
• Words: 2076

Concepts of Alzheimer’s Disease

• Subjects: Health & Medicine Neurology
• Words: 1917

Enhancement Drugs in Sports Should Be Banned: An Argumentative Paper

• Subjects: Sports Sports Culture
• Words: 1695

A Clockwork Orange: Setting and Literary Devices

• Subjects: British Literature Literature
• Words: 1662

Disaster Recovery Plan

• Subjects: Business Strategic Management
• Words: 1940

Video Games Addiction: Is It Real?

• Subjects: Psychology Psychology of Abuse
• Words: 1734

Where Does the Path to Smoking Addiction Start?

• Words: 2078

Critical Analysis of The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka

• Subjects: American Literature Literature
• Words: 1754

Pros and Cons of Abortion to the Society Argumentative Essay

• Words: 2221

Women’s Participation in World’s Development: Importance of Understanding

• Subjects: History Women Studies
• Words: 1399

Bob Dylan Blowin In the Wind

• Subjects: Art Musical Compositions
• Words: 1816

Video Games Do Enhance Learning Ability

• Subjects: Education Education Theories
• Words: 1660

Negative Impact of Internet on Society Essay

• Subjects: Sociological Theories Sociology
• Words: 1808

Langston Hughes and Black Elite

• Subjects: Comparative Literature Literature
• Words: 1702

Resource Identification, Evaluation and Selection: Congestive Heart Failure

• Words: 2988

Persuasive Piece: A White Paper

• Subjects: Law Taxation Law
• Words: 1651

The Extent at Which Personality Traits Can Predict a Person’s Leadership Abilities

• Subjects: Development Psychology

Salem Witch Trials Causes

• Subjects: History United States
• Words: 1666

Can Pollution Rights Trading Effectively Control Environmental Problems?

• Subjects: Environment Global Warming

Fast Food and Hate Groups

• Subjects: Diet & Nutrition Food Safety

Charles Chesnutt’s “The Wife of His Youth”

• Subjects: History Racism in USA
• Words: 1712

Neurological Disorder: Effects of Schizophrenia on the Brain and Behavior

• Subjects: Psychological Issues Psychology
• Words: 1679

Decision making: Purchasing a House

• Subjects: Economics Housing
• Words: 1630

Bellevue Mine Explosion, Crowsnest Pass, Alberta, December 9, 1910

• Subjects: Accidents & Protection Tech & Engineering
• Words: 1636

Sex/Gender Differences in Aggression

• Words: 1724

The Search for Knowledge

• Subjects: Sciences Scientific Method
• Words: 1582

Small Businesses Attractivity

• Words: 1673

The Peculiarity of Class Stratification

• Subjects: Sociological Issues Sociology

Siddhartha Gautama (Buddha)

• Subjects: Religion Theology
• Words: 1618

The Effects of Social Networking Sites on an Individual’s Life

• Words: 1697

Striving for the Ultimate Knowledge: Eli’s Mission. Video Game

• Subjects: Computer Science Tech & Engineering
• Words: 1953

Discourse of the Information Society

• Subjects: Internet Tech & Engineering
• Words: 1595

Effects of divorce on young children

• Words: 1799

Congresswoman Donna F. Edwards

• Subjects: Politicians Politics & Government
• Words: 1775

How GPS locates and finds the user position

• Subjects: Geography Sciences

Should We Have Mandatory Drug Testing For Professional Athletes?

• Words: 1705

Gender Roles in The Yellow Wallpaper & Trifles

• Subjects: Family Drama Literature
• Words: 2156

Political Firsts: Hiram Rhodes Revels and Romualdo Pacheco

• Words: 1811

Alternative Healthcare: Facilitating Holistic Nursing Practice

• Subjects: Health & Medicine Nursing
• Words: 1818

Brief Vitae on English Writers

• Subjects: Literature Writers
• Words: 1947

Evaluation of the Relevance of Organizational Behavior as a Management

• Words: 1643

Papyrus: Its Invention and Impact on the World

• Subjects: Ancient History History
• Words: 1783

Symbolism in three literature works

• Words: 1667

ESD Plan as a Mitigation Strategy and Solution for Global Warming

• Subjects: Disasters Environment
• Words: 1999

Economic and Social Problems in the Tampa City

• Subjects: Racism Sociology
• Words: 1634

Industry and Competitive Analysis

• Subjects: Business Marketing
• Words: 1669

To what extent did the text promote socialism?

• Words: 1868

Graphic Design: Fine Arts or Social Science?

• Subjects: Design Graphic Design
• Words: 1615

China’s Political, Religious, and Ideological Systems Influencing

• Subjects: Asia History

American Religious Literature Development

• Subjects: Literature World Literature
• Words: 1932

Steps of the Job Application Process

• Subjects: Business Business Communication
• Words: 1987

Problems facing tourism in Africa

• Subjects: Tourism Trips and Tours
• Words: 1716

Effects of social-economic trends on suburbanization in Australia

• Subjects: Economic Trends Economics
• Words: 1760

Does Decline of Social Capital Matter?

• Subjects: Elections Politics & Government
• Words: 1742

History of Jazz Music

• Subjects: Art Music

Napoleon’s Retreat from Moscow

• Subjects: Eastern Europe History
• Words: 1644

Sweet Are the Fruits. Through Pablo Neruda’s Prism

Common theme between books.

• Words: 1737

Personal Experience Into Poetry: Works Analysis

• Words: 1664

To Kill a Mockingbird

• Words: 1448

The Importance of Social Contract Theory in Modern Society

• Subjects: Politics & Government Social & Political Theory
• Words: 1743

Effects of Globalization and Increased Modernity on Indigenous and Native Populations across the World

• Subjects: Anthropology Sciences
• Words: 2316

Oedipus Rex Critical Analysis | Critical Writing Example

• Subjects: Literature Plays
• Words: 1189

Social and Cultural Diversity and Stereotypes

• Subjects: Cultural Issues Culture
• Words: 1721

White Collar Crime: Embezzlement Another High Dollar Scheme

• Words: 1668

Politics in the 1960s: Vietnam War, Bay of Pigs Invasion, Berlin Wall

• Words: 1645

The Agricultural Revolution: From the Neolithic Age to a New Era of Agricultural Growth

• Words: 1614

The Overview of US-KSA Economic Relations in 1970-2000

• Subjects: International Relations Politics & Government

Theme of Jealousy in Othello by Shakespeare

• Words: 1694

Monopolistic Competition

Are hybrid cars worth it.

• Subjects: Engineering Tech & Engineering
• Words: 2008

Brand Consumption in the UAE

• Subjects: Brand Management Business
• Words: 1691

Are Women Better Parents Than Men? Essay

• Subjects: Family Members Family, Life & Experiences
• Words: 1904

TSA and the Implementations of the Body Scanners in Airports

• Subjects: Homeland Security Law

UAE-Afghanistan Foreign Relations, Assistance & Promotion

Witchcraft in europe, 1450 – 1750.

• Subjects: History Western Europe

The Economic Crisis in Dubai 2008

• Subjects: Economic Systems & Principles Economics
• Words: 1710

The dispute about the Persian Gulf name

• Words: 1597

Ecological Problems Play Little Role in Generating Violent Conflict

• Subjects: Ecology Environment
• Words: 1685

Private School Teaching V.S. Public School Teaching

• Subjects: Education Study Courses and Education Programs

Five Faces of Oppression

• Words: 1706

The Impact of Fun and Humor in the Workplace on Employee Morale and Performance

• Words: 1989

Contemporary Design Issues in Film Industry

• Subjects: Art Cinema Art

Environmental Management: Green Taxes

• Subjects: Air Pollution Environment
• Words: 1687

Generation of Electricity in OECD Countries and Its Sources

• Words: 1308

A Typical Household Family

• Words: 1648

Barton Company Performance and Strategies

• Subjects: Business Company Missions
• Words: 1745

One Character, Two Worlds: “Kim” by Rudyard Kipling

• Words: 1850

Politics and the English Language: Analysis of George Orwell’s Essay

• Subjects: Importance of Language Linguistics

Machinery and Modern Industry

• Subjects: Tech & Engineering Technology Effect

Ted: Not Really a Kid’s Movie

• Subjects: Art Film Studies

Wooden Houses Vs Concrete houses in Saudi Arabia

• Subjects: Design Worldwide Architecture

Parents as Failed Role Models: A Doll’s House and Fight Club

• Subjects: Dramatical Novel Literature
• Words: 1929

Effects of Global Warming: Currently and Future

• Words: 1758

Stevie Wonder – Songs in the Key of Life: The Minor Fall, the Major Lift

• Subjects: Art Musicians

Loyalty Motivation in “Best Places to Launch a Career” by Tanaka

• Words: 1370

Folklore: Contemporary Legends

• Subjects: Literature Modernist Literature
• Words: 1641

Internet and Children Under the Age of 11

• Subjects: Communications Sociology

Gun Control: A Case Against Gun Ownership

• Subjects: Criminal Law Law
• Words: 1727

Société Générale Bank: Effective Security Controls

• Subjects: Computer Security Tech & Engineering
• Words: 1619

Alexander the Great: A Pioneer of Western Civilization

Essential communication in a community crisis situation.

• Words: 1638

Legislative Bans: For and Against the Gun Control

• Subjects: Constitutional Law Law
• Words: 1624

The Retail Side of ExxonMobil

• Subjects: Business Industry

The Differences Between France and China Policy Choice

• Subjects: Government Politics & Government

How Long Is an Essay? The Ultimate Essay Length Guide

It’s safe to say that most students struggle with the word limit within an essay. Sometimes, it’s hard to find ideas for a text and meet the word requirement for every part of the paper. With so many factors influencing essay length, it’s easy to get confused.

Luckily, our custom-writing team has your back. In this article, our custom-writing experts will answer all your questions regarding essay length. We will also help you write papers with an ideal number of words!

📜 Is Essay Length Important?

📏 essay parts: recommended length.

• 🤔 How to Make Essays Shorter or Longer
• 📑 Essay Length & Formatting
• ❓ Different Academic Levels FAQ
• 📚 Essay Length: Different Types
• ⭐ Other Aspects
• 📝 Essay Examples

🔍 References

Often, the phrase “word limit” causes panic among students. After all, if an essay is too long or too short, your grade will be lowered. However, in reality, there’s nothing to worry about. When it comes to words, limitations are beneficial for both the students and the professors.

Let’s see what exactly it means.

Many people believe that the longer an essay is, the better. However, according to Frontiers, research shows that it’s a bias that couldn’t be further from the truth. A perfect-length paper is one that allows students to express their ideas and showcase their knowledge fully while keeping it clean and simple.

What Influences Essay Length

Various factors determine the length of an essay. Here are the most important ones:

Let’s start with the essentials. Usually, assignment length is given as a number of words rather than pages. Unless your supervisor or instructor mentions any specific limitations, it’s acceptable to be 10% below or above the word limit.

It’s also worth knowing the 80/20 rule . According to it, the body should constitute 80% of the text, while the intro and the conclusion take up the remaining 20%.

Keep reading to learn more about the recommended length of each essay part. The main numbers are shown in the table below:

How Long Should an Introduction Be?

An introduction is the first section and the face of your essay. For that reason, it needs to be compelling and well-thought-out. Usually, it consists of 3 to 5 sentences or 50 to 80 words .

An introduction must have a hook, some background information, and a thesis statement. While the attention grabber and the thesis are usually brief, you may need 2 to 3 sentences for the background. To avoid going overboard, try to stay on topic and don’t add any filler.

How Long Is a Body Paragraph in an Essay?

The length of a body paragraph may vary. Sometimes, it can be limited to a single sentence. In other cases, it may take up a whole page. Usually, it’s recommended to have between 80 and 200 words (5-8 sentences) per body paragraph.

Since the paper’s body contains the most information, it’s necessary to explain and support your ideas properly. That’s why it’s no big deal if your body paragraphs go slightly over the word limit.

How Many Body Paragraphs Should Be in an Essay?

Like the word count, the number of paragraphs is determined by the type of paper and its topic. The minimum is 1. Generally, however, the body consists of 3-5 paragraphs , 1 for each argument.

To improve your paper’s structure, ensure that there are as many paragraphs as there are points in your thesis statement. Each one should have a purpose and support your arguments. If there’s any fluff, it’s better to get rid of it.

How Long Should a Conclusion Be?

Like the introduction, the conclusion consists of 50-80 words . It’s essential to keep it simple and only mention the central ideas. A weak concluding sentence may affect the reader’s understanding of the topic and spoil the overall impression of your paper.

🤔 How to Make Essays Shorter or Longer: Best Tips

Undoubtedly the essay’s content is more important than the number of words you use. But there are times when students go more than 10-15% below or over the limit. Is there a solution to this problem?

Yes, there is! In this section, we will share the most useful tips to help you stay on point with your paper’s word count.

How to Make Essays Longer

Since having enough words is essential for a good grade, we’ve collected the best tips that can help you lengthen your essay without teachers noticing:

• Use relevant quotations.  You don’t need to litter your essay with citations, but using them whenever appropriate is a great idea. For instance, if you’re working on a book analysis, referencing a couple of direct quotes from the source text will make your essay more credible and increase the word count.
• Give examples.  Go through the claims in your paper and provide additional evidence where possible. It will make your essay longer and more informative.
• Use transitional expressions.  Adding transition words and phrases is a natural way of increasing the number of words. It will also improve your essay’s readability. 
• Add more references.  Providing references is always a good idea when writing a formal essay. That way, you will increase the number of words and make your paper more credible.
• Work on your descriptions.  If you struggle to develop new ideas, go over what you’ve already written and consider adding some descriptive words. It’s a great idea for creative essays to include more imagery. 

How to Shorten an Essay

Another struggle of academic writing is cutting down the number of words in your essay to meet a set limit. We are here to tell you that it’s not that hard. Writing straightforwardly and keeping your sentences short is a key to concise content. Here are several strategies you may use to tighten a lengthy essay:

• Choose the active voice.  It takes up less space than passive voice. Using it also makes your writing more professional and compelling.
• Remove needless transitions.  Transitions can indeed maintain the flow of the paper. But some transitional phrases can be easily removed.
• Get rid of unnecessary adverbs and adjectives.  Some students tend to overuse adjectives and adverbs. It adds wordiness to their writing.
• Avoid running starts.  Some students like to start their sentences with long phrases like: “there are,” “it is believed,” or “the fact that.” Getting rid of them makes texts much more concise.
• Delete “that.”  In most cases, the word “that” can often be easily removed from texts.

Another cool trick is to use our summarizing tool as essay shortener. Try it out!

📑 How Long Is an Essay Depending on Formatting?

As we mentioned earlier, the essay’s length is usually limited by the number of words. But sometimes, a teacher may ask you to write a specific number of pages. This is trickier because the amount of text you can place on the page depends on the formatting. By using the font size and spacing properly, it’s possible to make the paper visually longer or shorter. Let’s discuss it in more detail.

Essay Spacing: How Does It Affect the Length?

• Adjusting the spacing between lines.  Try to make the changes as slight as possible. For instance, if you were asked to double-space the paper, use 2.1 or 2.2 spacing instead. Another option is to slightly extend spaces between paragraphs.
• Extending the margin size.  You can increase the right and bottom margins by a quarter to make very subtle changes in length. For example, if the margins are 1 inch , you can set them at 1.25 inches instead. 
• Increasing the spacing between characters.  It is less noticeable than the line spacing. Still, try not to overdo it and keep the numbers between 1.2 and 1.5 . 
• Adjusting the footer.  Add a footer with page numbers to stretch the bottom margin even further.
• Lengthening the header.  You can extend your header by adding your name, e-mail address, or other relevant information. Another option is double-spacing it.

Length of an Essay: Font and Size

• Using the right type of font.  If your instructor didn’t specify which font you should use, go for the bigger ones. We suggest Arial, Bangla Sangam MN, Cambria, or Quicksand. They will make your text look longer without being too on the nose.  
• Using a bigger font size.  This is another technique that can come in handy. However, be careful and don’t increase your font by more than 0.1-0.5 pt.  
• Increasing the size of periods and commas.   This is one of the less noticeable tricks you can use. For instance, if your paper’s font is 12 pt. , increase it to 14 pt. only for punctuation marks. Italicizing periods and commas will also add several lines of length to your essay. 

What to Do if There Are No Length Guidelines

Sometimes a teacher sets no word limit for a written work. What to do in that case? Well, first, you can ask your professor to confirm if they have simply forgotten to mention it. But if that’s not the case, here are a couple of helpful solutions:

• Think of the paragraph number.  Sometimes, you may be given the number of paragraphs instead of words. In that case, you can decide on the number of words depending on how many paragraphs you have. 
• Think about the topic’s complexity.  The length of your paper is also directly dependent on the theme. If the topic is simple, 4-5 paragraphs will be enough. A more complex issue may require an in-depth explanation, so your essay can be 6-8 paragraphs long.

❓ Essay Length for Different Academic Levels FAQ

The length of the elementary school essay is usually short. Usually, a paper needs to have around 3-5 paragraphs, with 4-5 sentences per paragraph. Primary school essays can be 1-2 paragraphs long.

The word limit for a middle school essay is usually between 300 to 1000 words. The most common essay length is 500 words, which is about 5 paragraphs. However, it may differ from school to school.

The length of the high school essay may differ depending on the school and the complexity of the task itself. Usually, however, a paper can be between 300 to 1000 words long.

The length of the undergraduate college essay often falls within the range of 1500 to 2100 words. It translates into roughly 5-7 pages. 5 pages is the most common essay length at this level.

When it comes to the graduate school admission essay, the word limit is usually between 500 and 1000 words. It’s possible to go slightly over or below the set limit; however, it’s best to stick to the requirements as close as possible.

📚 How Long Should an Essay Be: Different Types

Now, let’s talk about different types of essays. How long should they be? Keep reading to learn about the length of college essays, short and extended ones, scholarship essays, and research papers.

How Long Is a College Essay?

When it comes to a college essay, it’s more important to stick to the word limit than with any other paper. Some teachers may refuse to read it unless it meets all the requirements.

The shortest limit for a college essay is about 250 words which is the shortest length of a Common App personal statement. It’s also rare to see a good college essay with over 650 words . So, an average piece usually has between 150 and 650 words ; you can go over or below the limit by 50.

How Long Is a Paragraph in College Essays?

A college essay usually consists of 4-5 paragraphs . One paragraph takes about 1/3 of the page, which is roughly 5 sentences . Each sentence corresponds with one of the following components:

• Topic sentence.
• Explanation.
• Transitions.

College Essay Length Requirements: Top 5 Schools

To understand the requirements for a college application essay even better, take a look at the table below. It showcases the top 5 schools and their length criteria for personal statements. Keep it in mind when writing your college essay:

How Long Is a Short Essay?

A short essay is usually 500 words long. Using 12pt Times New Roman font with standard margins and double spacing should result in about 2 pages of text.

Extended Essay Length

An extended essay is different from a short or a standard one. It requires extensive research and thorough explanation. That’s why the upper limit for this kind of essay is 4000 words . In this case, a typical essay length is 3500 words or 18 paragraphs .

Scholarship Essay Length

Generally, scholarship papers have a limit of 500 words , which is 1 page in length. Most scholarship programs provide additional requirements that indicate the minimum number of words or pages. If there are no set limitations, you can stick to the limit.

How Long Is a Research Paper?

Typically, a research paper is between 4000 and 6000 words long. Sometimes, there are shorter papers, which have around 2000 words, or in-depth ones with over 10000 words.

⭐ Other Aspects of Essay Length

When it comes to essay length, many different aspects come into play. Here, we’ve gathered all the essential information regarding an essay’s number of pages, paragraphs, words, and references.

How Many Paragraphs Are in an Essay?

Sometimes, it is more convenient to count paragraphs rather than words. Let’s now figure out how many paragraphs are in essays of different lengths. You may also check out the examples to see what such an essay looks like:

How to Count Paragraphs in an Essay Based on Word Count

You can also count the number of body paragraphs for your essay using the formula below:

Number of body paragraphs (average) = (TWC – TWC*0.16)/100

• TWC – total word count
• 0.16 – an average percentage of total word count for introduction and conclusion
• 100 – an average number of words per paragraph

How Many Pages Are in an Essay?

The number of pages in your essay may vary from subject to subject. But it’s still possible to determine the number of pages based on word count. Check out the numbers below to see the conversions with bonus examples:

You can also use a specialized calculator such as Word Counter to determine a number of pages in your essay.

What Does an Essay Look Like when Typed?

You might be wondering: what do essays of different lengths look like when typed? Well, here’s the table where you can find out the metrics for single- and double-spaced papers.

How Many Pages Are in a Handwritten Essay?

In case you need to turn in a handwritten paper, you should check out the table below.

Counting Words in a Handwritten Essay

If you don’t have enough time to count the words in your handwritten essay one by one, here’s what you can do:

• Count how many words there are in one line. Take the first and last lines and a line in the middle of a page. Let’s say there are 15, 14, and 15 words in them. Then, the average number of words per line is 15.
• Next, count how many lines there are on one page. Let’s say there are 17 lines on a page.
• Take the number of words per line and multiply it by the number of lines per page. In our case, we multiply 15 by 17. So, there are 255 words per page on average.
• Finally, multiply the number of words per page by the number of pages. If your essay has 3 pages, it is approximately 765 words long.

How Long Does it Take to Write an Essay?

It is crucial to know how long writing will take you, especially if you are working on an exam essay or just short on time. Note that you need to consider the time for typing and researching necessary to complete a piece. Research time may vary. Usually, it’s 1-2 hours for 200-250 words .

Below, we’ve gathered the average writing time for average and slower writing speed:

And here are the results in pages:

How Many References Does an Essay Need?

Another essential part of any composition is the reference list. Different academic levels require different references. You’ll find out how many of them should be in your paper in the table below!

📝 Essay Examples: Different Length

Finally, we’ve gathered some excellent sample essays of different lengths. Make sure to check them out!

We also recommend you check out our free essay samples sorted by pages:

• 1-Page Essay Examples
• 2-Page Essay Examples
• 3-Page Essay Examples
• 4-Page Essay Examples
• 5-Page Essay Examples
• 10-Page Essay Examples
• 20-Page Essay Examples
• 30-Page Essay Examples
• 40-Page Essay Examples
• 50-Page Essay Examples

Now you know all about essay length, word limits, and ways to lengthen or shorten your text. If you know other interesting tricks, make sure to share them in a comment! Good luck with your writing assignments!

You may also like:

• How to Write a Process Analysis Essay: Examples & Outline
• How to Write a Precis: Definition, Guide, & Examples 
• How to Write a Critical Analysis Essay: Examples & Guide
• How to Write a Narrative Essay Outline: Template & Examples
• How to Write a Formal Essay: Format, Rules, & Example
• Word Limits and Assignment Length: Massey University
• The Paragraph in the College Essay: California State University, Long Beach
• Introductions & Conclusions: The University of Arizona Global Campus
• How Long Should a Paragraph Be?: Daily Writing Tips
• Paragraphing (Length Consistency): Purdue University
• Hitting the Target Word Count in Your College Admission Essay: Dummies.com
• How Long Should Your College Essay Be? What is the Ideal Length?: College Vine
• Writing Personal Statements Online: Issues of Length and Form: Penn State University
• Pen Admissions: Essays: University of Pennsylvania
• Essay Questions: University of Michigan
• Essay Structure: Harvard University
• Components of a Good Essay: University of Evansville
• Write Your Essay: UNSW Sydney
• College Writing: University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
• 21 Helpful and Easy Tips to Make an Essay Longer: Seventeen
• How to Make a College Paper Longer: ThoughtCo
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Sat / act prep online guides and tips, the best college essay length: how long should it be.

College Essays

Figuring out your college essay can be one of the most difficult parts of applying to college. Even once you've read the prompt and picked a topic, you might wonder: if you write too much or too little, will you blow your chance of admission? How long should a college essay be?

Whether you're a terse writer or a loquacious one, we can advise you on college essay length. In this guide, we'll cover what the standard college essay length is, how much word limits matter, and what to do if you aren't sure how long a specific essay should be.

How Long Is a College Essay? First, Check the Word Limit

You might be used to turning in your writing assignments on a page-limit basis (for example, a 10-page paper). While some colleges provide page limits for their college essays, most use a word limit instead. This makes sure there's a standard length for all the essays that a college receives, regardless of formatting or font.

In the simplest terms, your college essay should be pretty close to, but not exceeding, the word limit in length. Think within 50 words as the lower bound, with the word limit as the upper bound. So for a 500-word limit essay, try to get somewhere between 450-500 words. If they give you a range, stay within that range.

College essay prompts usually provide the word limit right in the prompt or in the instructions.

For example, the University of Illinois says :

"You'll answer two to three prompts as part of your application. The questions you'll answer will depend on whether you're applying to a major or to our undeclared program , and if you've selected a second choice . Each response should be approximately 150 words."

As exemplified by the University of Illinois, the shortest word limits for college essays are usually around 150 words (less than half a single-spaced page). Rarely will you see a word limit higher than around 650 words (over one single-spaced page). College essays are usually pretty short: between 150 and 650 words. Admissions officers have to read a lot of them, after all!

Weigh your words carefully, because they are limited!

How Flexible Is the Word Limit?

But how flexible is the word limit? What if your poignant anecdote is just 10 words too long—or 100 too short?

Can I Go Over the Word Limit?

If you are attaching a document and you need one or two extra words, you can probably get away with exceeding the word limit by such a small amount. Some colleges will actually tell you that exceeding the word limit by 1-2 words is fine. However, I advise against exceeding the word limit unless it's explicitly allowed for a few reasons:

First, you might not be able to. If you have to copy-paste it into a text box, your essay might get cut off and you'll have to trim it down anyway.

If you exceed the word limit in a noticeable way, the admissions counselor may just stop reading your essay past that point. This is not good for you.

Following directions is actually a very important part of the college application process. You need to follow directions to get your letters of recommendation, upload your essays, send supplemental materials, get your test scores sent, and so on and so forth. So it's just a good general rule to follow whatever instructions you've been given by the institution. Better safe than sorry!

Can I Go Under the Word Limit?

If you can truly get your point across well beneath the word limit, it's probably fine. Brevity is not necessarily a bad thing in writing just so long as you are clear, cogent, and communicate what you want to.

However, most college essays have pretty tight word limits anyways. So if you're writing 300 words for an essay with a 500-word limit, ask yourself: is there anything more you could say to elaborate on or support your points? Consult with a parent, friend, or teacher on where you could elaborate with more detail or expand your points.

Also, if the college gives you a word range, you absolutely need to at least hit the bottom end of the range. So if you get a range from the institution, like 400-500 words, you need to write at least 400 words. If you write less, it will come across like you have nothing to say, which is not an impression you want to give.

What If There Is No Word Limit?

Some colleges don't give you a word limit for one or more of your essay prompts. This can be a little stressful, but the prompts generally fall into a few categories:

Writing Sample

Some colleges don't provide a hard-and-fast word limit because they want a writing sample from one of your classes. In this case, a word limit would be very limiting to you in terms of which assignments you could select from.

For an example of this kind of prompt, check out essay Option B at Amherst :

"Submit a graded paper from your junior or senior year that best represents your writing skills and analytical abilities. We are particularly interested in your ability to construct a tightly reasoned, persuasive argument that calls upon literary, sociological or historical evidence. You should NOT submit a laboratory report, journal entry, creative writing sample or in-class essay."

While there is usually no word limit per se, colleges sometimes provide a general page guideline for writing samples. In the FAQ for Option B , Amherst clarifies, "There is no hard-and-fast rule for official page limit. Typically, we anticipate a paper of 4-5 pages will provide adequate length to demonstrate your analytical abilities. Somewhat longer papers can also be submitted, but in most cases should not exceed 8-10 pages."

So even though there's no word limit, they'd like somewhere in the 4-10 pages range. High school students are not usually writing papers that are longer than 10 pages anyways, so that isn't very limiting.

Implicit Length Guideline

Sometimes, while there's no word (or even page) limit, there's still an implicit length guideline. What do I mean by this?

See, for example, this Western Washington University prompt :

“Describe one or more activities you have been involved in that have been particularly meaningful. What does your involvement say about the communities, identities or causes that are important to you?”

While there’s no page or word limit listed here, further down on page the ‘essay tips’ section explains that “ most essay responses are about 500 words, ” though “this is only a recommendation, not a firm limit.” This gives you an idea of what’s reasonable. A little longer or shorter than 500 words would be appropriate here. That’s what I mean by an “implicit” word limit—there is a reasonable length you could go to within the boundaries of the prompt.

But what's the proper coffee-to-paragraph ratio?

Treasure Hunt

There is also the classic "treasure hunt" prompt. No, it's not a prompt about a treasure hunt. It's a prompt where there are no length guidelines given, but if you hunt around on the rest of the website you can find length guidelines.

For example, the University of Chicago provides seven "Extended Essay" prompts . You must write an essay in response to one prompt of your choosing, but nowhere on the page is there any guidance about word count or page limit.

However, many colleges provide additional details about their expectations for application materials, including essays, on FAQ pages, which is true of the University of Chicago. On the school’s admissions Frequently Asked Questions page , they provide the following length guidelines for the supplemental essays: 

“We suggest that you note any word limits for Coalition or Common Application essays; however, there are no strict word limits on the UChicago Supplement essays. For the extended essay (where you choose one of several prompts), we suggest that you aim for around 650 words. While we won't, as a rule, stop reading after 650 words, we're only human and cannot promise that an overly wordy essay will hold our attention indefinitely. For the “Why UChicago?” essay, we suggest about 250-500 words. The ideas in your writing matter more than the exact number of words you use!”

So there you go! You want to be (loosely) in the realm of 650 for the extended essay, and 250-500 words for the “Why UChicago?” essay.

Help! There Really Is No Guidance on Length

If you really can't find any length guidelines anywhere on the admissions website and you're at a loss, I advise calling the admissions office. They may not be able to give you an exact number (in fact, they probably won't), but they will probably at least be able to tell you how long most of the essays they see are. (And keep you from writing a panicked, 20-page dissertation about your relationship with your dog).

In general, 500 words or so is pretty safe for a college essay. It's a fairly standard word limit length, in fact. (And if you're wondering, that's about a page and a half double-spaced.) 500 words is long enough to develop a basic idea while still getting a point across quickly—important when admissions counselors have thousands of essays to read!

"See? It says 500 words right there in tiny font!"

The Final Word: How Long Should a College Essay Be?

The best college essay length is usually pretty straightforward: you want to be right under or at the provided word limit. If you go substantially past the word limit, you risk having your essay cut off by an online application form or having the admissions officer just not finish it. And if you're too far under the word limit, you may not be elaborating enough.

What if there is no word limit? Then how long should a college essay be? In general, around 500 words is a pretty safe approximate word amount for a college essay—it's one of the most common word limits, after all!

Here's guidance for special cases and hunting down word limits:

If it's a writing sample of your graded academic work, the length either doesn't matter or there should be some loose page guidelines.

There also may be implicit length guidelines. For example, if a prompt says to write three paragraphs, you'll know that writing six sentences is definitely too short, and two single-spaced pages is definitely too long.

You might not be able to find length guidelines in the prompt, but you could still hunt them up elsewhere on the website. Try checking FAQs or googling your chosen school name with "admissions essay word limit."

If there really is no word limit, you can call the school to try to get some guidance.

With this advice, you can be sure you've got the right college essay length on lockdown!

Hey, writing about yourself can even be fun!

What's Next?

Need to ask a teacher or friend for help with your essay? See our do's and dont's to getting college essay advice .

If you're lacking in essay inspiration, see our guide to brainstorming college essay ideas . And here's our guide to starting out your essay perfectly!

Looking for college essay examples? See 11 places to find college essay examples and 145 essay examples with analysis !

Ellen has extensive education mentorship experience and is deeply committed to helping students succeed in all areas of life. She received a BA from Harvard in Folklore and Mythology and is currently pursuing graduate studies at Columbia University.

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Just How Long Does It Take to Write 6 Pages? It’s Complicated.

Do six-page essays and papers get assigned? Sure they do. And how many words is a 6-page paper? Well, 6 pages double spaced is somewhere between 1500 and 1650 words. And how long does it take to write 6 pages? Here are the variables:

• How good is the writer? Those with skills tend to write much faster than those without
• How much research is required?
• What is the topic and the purpose? A primarily factual 6-page essay on a simple topic will obviously go faster than one that is argumentative and entails a more complex topic.

How to Write a 6-Page Paper

If you are assigned an essay or paper and your instructor designates a length of 6 pages, you will need to use the same process that you would use to write any essay or paper, but the restriction to six pages will impact exactly how you proceed.

• Selecting a Topic

This may be the most difficult part of your task. You have to choose a topic that can be covered in six pages, obviously. This means picking a general topic area that you have an interest in and then narrowing that topic down to one that is manageable in six pages.

If you do have a topic area of great interest, you might want to a bit of research and look at sample essays or papers that are of the same approximate length, take a look at the topics those writers chose, and try to choose something comparable.

• The Research

The other important aspect of how to write a six-page essay or paper does relate to research. Generally, the longer a paper is, the more sources should be used. The six-page length should probably have about four source materials. And, as is always the case with a college level work, it is critical to use high quality resources – primary if possible. If not primary, then secondary resources should be from known experts in the field.

• Organizing the Research into Sub-Topics

This step is the same when you write any type of essay or paper that has required research. With a six-page paper, you may have three-four sub-topics, each of which will consume between four-five pages. The rest will be our introduction and conclusion.

• The Rough Draft

One of the things that definitely does not change when you think about how to write a six-page paper is that you do not skip the important writing steps. The rough draft is just that – a rough draft. It is not your final piece. Write it and then take a break from it.

• Review and Revise

Carefully review what you have written. Read it out loud to make sure it “sounds” right to you. Check your grammar and punctuation. Make sure it flows logically from one section to the next.

• Write the Introduction Last

Your introduction should capture interest immediately – find a creative or shocking beginning and then lead your reader to your thesis statement.

So, how long does it take to write a 6-page paper? It really is complicated, and it does depend on you. Of course, if you need a fast solution for an urgent due date, you may want to find a writing service that can get it done well. Check out term paper writing services reviews on some of the writing review websites and get one that has high marks.

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How Long Does It Take to Write 6 Pages?

Writing 6 pages will take about 1.3 hours for the average writer typing on a keyboard and 2.5 hours for handwriting. However, if the content needs to include in-depth research, links, citations, or graphics such as for a blog article or high school essay, the length can grow to 10 hours.

Documents that typically contain 6 pages include college essays, operating manuals, and longer form blog posts. A typical single-spaced page is 500 words long.

You may write faster or slower than this depending on your average writing speed. Adults typically type at about 40 words per minute when writing for enjoyment and 5 words per minute for in-depth essays or articles. They can handwrite at 20 words per minute. College students typically need to be able to write at 60-70 words per minute in order to quickly write essays.

Writing Time by Word Counts

The table below will tell you how long it will take to write typical word counts. If you want to know how long writing an essay or book will take, check out the table below:

Writing Time by Page Counts

The table below will tell you how long it will take to write typical page counts. If you want to know how long writing an essay or book will take, check out the table below:

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Tips for Online Students , Tips for Students

Hacks How to Write a 10 and 20 page Paper in One Night

Updated: July 15, 2022

Published: April 19, 2020

It’s the night before a big paper is due. For whatever reason, you find yourself needing to write an entire research paper in a very short amount of time. While procrastination isn’t ideal, extenuating circumstances may have caused your timeline to get pushed back. So, here you are, looking for how to write a 10-page paper or how to write a 20-page paper in one night.

It goes without saying the best way to write a paper is to give yourself enough time to outline, draft, and edit. Yet, it’s still possible to write in less time. Take heed of these best tips and tricks to organize your thoughts and get your thesis on paper as fast as possible.

Photo by  Adolfo Félix  on  Unsplash

How to prepare before you write, 1. create a schedule to maximize your time.

You’ve likely already spent time panicking. Once you calm yourself of the anxiety of having to finish a 10- or 20-page paper in one night, organize your plan of attack. First, you should designate an area free of distractions so that you can focus. Aside from a few breaks and snacks, it’s best to set up a comfortable place to write. Give yourself some time to outline and find/cite research . Once you know how you’re going to approach the subject, then you can start drafting.

2. Determine your Main Topic

If you’ve been given a prompt, then your topic is clear. However, sometimes you have the freedom to choose what your research will be about. In this case, it’s smartest to choose a topic that you are already knowledgeable about. That way, you will save yourself key time that would have otherwise been spent on research. If you don’t feel strongly about any particular topic, then at least try to pick one that has a lot of information available.

3. Perform Research

Start looking up sources to cite that support your thesis, or main argument. As you research, be sure to take notes. One of the best ways to do this is to use a word processor like Google Docs or Microsoft Word to copy and paste URLs. For each source, it would be best to copy/paste one main sentence that covers its point.

Then, you can write brief notes in your own words that summarize what you have read from that source. While you are performing research, you can start to put together an outline, or the flow of how you will present your ideas broken down by topic and argument.

4. Outline 3-5 subtopics

Once you’ve chosen your topic, then try to pull 3-5 subtopics from it. Each sub-topic should be juicy enough to be able to write a lot about it. The subtopics are your supporting paragraphs which fill the body of the research paper. They should basically be mini essays within themselves.

Writing in One Night

Writing a long research paper in one night isn’t ideal, but it is doable. Some of the best ways to get it done is to follow these 5 tips:

1. Plan and Outline

Take those few extra moments to plan and outline your paper. While it may feel like a waste of valuable time, it is going to help you stay on track. When you have an outline and you get to the middle of your paper, you won’t feel lost as to how to continue. An outline will be useful to you like a map is on a journey.

2. Use Specialized Search

Take advantage of search tools that are designed for scholars. For example, a few of these include: Google Scholar and Elsevier .

3. Leverage Tools

There are citation management tools that will help you find sources for your topic. Mendeley is just one of them. You can type parts of your paper into the tool and find quotes of value. Be sure to cite everything you use to avoid plagiarism .

4. Proofread and Edit

Once you complete writing 10 to 20 pages, you may feel like throwing in the towel and going to sleep for a few hours. However, it is crucial to power through and proofread your paper. If you have anyone available who can read your paper over, that would be best because it’s hard to catch mistakes when you’ve been looking at the same thing for so long. But, if no one is available, try to read your paper back to yourself out loud. This way, you may be able to catch typos better.

5. Check Formatting

Every research paper needs to adhere to a particular format guideline. Whether it’s APA, MLA, or another standard formatting practice, be sure to double check that your layout adheres to the guidelines.

Photo by  Christin Hume  on  Unsplash

When to start writing.

If you have yet to find yourself trying to write a paper at the last minute and all the notes above are scaring you out of procrastination, then that’s a good start! Perhaps you were recently assigned a research paper. In this case, the best way to tackle the project is to do the following:

Start Early

Get started right away. Even if it means just performing early research or writing an outline, starting early is going to save you from having to write a paper in one night down the line. When you start early, you benefit greatly because you can: leverage peers for ideas, take the necessary time to edit and rewrite, and you lower your risk of picking a topic with too little information and having to change topics at the last minute.

Writing in Stages

Starting early also affords you the opportunity to write in stages. You can think of writing as a cycle when you write in stages. First, you can create your outline. Then, you can write the introduction, edit it, and rewrite anything you may need to before moving on to the next piece (or the first body paragraph, in this case).

Use a Timeline

Create a timeline for your writing in stages. If you start four weeks in advance, for example, you have time to do all of the following:

• Fully understand the assignment and ask any questions
• Start to read and document sources
• Create notecards and cite books for sources
• Write a summary of what you’ve discovered so far that will be used in some of your paper
• Create 3-5 subtopics and outline points you want to explore
• Look for more sources on your subtopics
• Start writing summaries on each subtopic
• Write some analysis of your findings
• Start to piece together the research paper based on your notes and outline (almost like completing a puzzle)
• Edit and proofread / ask for feedback

The Writing Process

The actual writing process is a little different for everyone, but this is a general overview for how to write a 20-page paper, or one that is shorter.

• Start with a Thesis: Your thesis is one sentence that clearly and concisely explains what you are going to prove with research.
• Include a Menu Sentence: At the end of your introduction, you will briefly outline your subtopics in what is often referred to as a “menu sentence.” This allows the reader to understand what they can expect to learn about as they continue to read your paper.
• Create a Detailed Introduction: Your introduction should be detailed enough so that someone with little to no knowledge about your subject matter can understand what the paper is about.
• Keep References: Be sure to write your references as you go along so that you basically can create your bibliography in the process of writing. Again, this is where a tool like Mendeley may be useful.
• Write First: Write first and edit later. You want to get all your ideas down on the page before you start judging or editing the writing.
• Save Often: Create the draft on a cloud platform that is automatically saved (i.e. Google Docs in case your computer crashes) or email the work to yourself as you go.

The Breakdown of a 10-Page Paper

Sources to Consider Using

When writing your research paper and finding sources, it’s best to use a mix of sources. This may include:

• Internet: The Internet is filled with limitless possibilities. When you use the Internet, it’s best to find credible and trustworthy sources to avoid using fake news as a source. That’s why tools like Google Scholar can be so helpful.
• Textbooks: It’s more likely than not that you’ll be able to use your class textbook as a source for the research you are conducting.
• Books: Additionally, other books outside of those you read within your class will prove useful in any research paper.

Final Steps: Editing and Formatting

Once you’ve written all your ideas on the page, it’s time to edit. It cannot be stressed enough that editing is pivotal before submission. This is especially true if you’ve been writing under immense pressure.

Writing a 10- or 20-page research paper in one night is not easy, so there are bound to be mistakes and typos. The best way to catch these mistakes is to follow these tips:

• Take a break before you edit so you can come back to the page with somewhat fresh eyes and a clearer head
• Read it out loud to edit and catch mistakes because sometimes your brain will override typos or missing words to make sense of what it is reading
• If possible, ask someone else to look it over
• Consider using footnotes or block quotes
• Format according to how your university asks – MLA or APA, etc.

The Bottom Line

Life throws curveballs your way without warning. Whether you are holding yourself accountable for procrastinating or something out of your control came up, you may find yourself needing to write a big research paper in one night. It’s not the best-case scenario, but with the right tools and tricks up your sleeve, you can surely get it done!

Related Articles

How Long Does It Take to Write a 1000 Word Essay?

How long does it take to research an essay?

If you’re writing an opinion piece on something you already have some knowledge about, you may not have to do any research at all. It may just be a matter of organizing your existing thoughts into a coherent essay. If you need to find out about a topic before you begin to write, you can easily get information on certain topics, whilst others will be more obscure and therefore more difficult to research. Clearly, the easier it is to find information, the faster you can write.

How good are your reading comprehension skills?

Some of us can just skim a piece and pick up all the salient points. Others will have to read with more attention, and even re-read a piece several times to extract the information we need. Having good reading and comprehension skills makes writing much faster since you’re able to “get” the facts faster and organize them better. Now you know why you had to do so many reading comprehension tests at school.

How well did you plan?

Throwing yourself headlong at a 1,000-word essay and writing till you reach the word count may seem like the easy option, but it isn’t. Planning your essay so that it begins with an introduction, highlights the most important points you want to make and then wraps everything up into a conclusion actually saves you time. Sometimes, essay instructions will tell you how to structure the piece, so read them carefully and extract any information you can use to guide your essay’s structure.

How fast do you type?

Have you ever gotten lost halfway through a sentence? You know what you wanted to say, but halfway through, the thought slips away from you. The faster you can type , the more easily you can capture thoughts before your mind moves onto the next thing and you forget what you were trying to say. Typing skills are essential in the modern world. Consider using typing games to improve your speed.

How long does it take me to write a 1,000-word essay?

Faster isn’t always better. The more in-depth your report is meant to be, the longer you should spend on it. I can usually research and write a fairly technical magazine article of 1,000 words in three hours, but do remember that I’m a professional writer. I’m fast because I write all day, every day.

The longest I’ve ever spent on a 1,000-word article was 12 hours. It was absolutely brutal! The information I needed to gather was very technical, hard to find, and even more difficult to understand, and you can’t write something until you really understand the subject matter. I also had to contact experts for their opinions, but I couldn’t even ask about their opinions until I could target them with the right questions. As a result, I actually had to write most of the article before slotting in the expert comment.

The quickest I’ve ever written a 1,000-word article is one hour. In this case, I already knew the subject matter well and didn’t have to back up every fact in the essay with references.

Reviewing your work also matters

If you’re writing for grades and want a good one, you need a really good essay. Don’t start writing it the day before you have to hand it in. Try and get your first draft down at least a day or two before you have to submit your work. Then return to it and do your editing. Read your essay aloud to yourself, since this will help you pick up any careless errors you wouldn’t otherwise spot. Check to see if your information flows logically from one point to the next and make sure that you’ve presented your information clearly.

Remember, teachers get tired. They have to read the same kind of essay over and over again when they grade. If they struggle to understand what you’re saying, you might not get as good a grade as you would if you stuck to using short sentences and relatively simple language.

Your reviewing process shouldn’t take all that long. If you don’t have to make a lot of changes, you should be able to do your final edit in under half an hour.

Take your time. Whatever you do, don’t rush. You might want your essay to be written quickly, but if it’s an important essay, taking your time will give you a better finished product. Budget your time conservatively. It’s better to find that you’ve still got time left over than to run out of time and end up dashing things off with a looming deadline.

Below are some basic guidelines if you need a rough estimate on how long it will take to write an essay. It’s important to remember that there are a plethora of mitigating factors that can increase or decrease the time it takes to write. The below numbers are using an estimate that it takes about 3 hours 20 minutes to write a 1000 word essay:

How long does it take to write a 100 word essay? It takes about 20 minutes to write a 100 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 200 word essay? It takes about 40 minutes to write a 200 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 250 word essay? It takes about 50 minutes to write a 250 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 300 word essay? It takes about 1 hour to write a 300 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 400 word essay? It takes about 1 hour and 20 minutes to write a 400 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 500 word essay? It takes about 1 hour and 40 minutes to write a 500 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 600 word essay? It takes about 2 hours to write a 600 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 700 word essay? It takes about 2 hours and 20 minutes to write a 700 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 800 word essay? It takes about 2 hours and 40 minutes to write a 800 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 900 word essay? It takes about 3 hours to write a 900 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 1,000 word essay? It takes about 3 hours and 20 minutes to write a 1,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 1,250 word essay? It takes about 4 hours and 10 minutes to write a 1,250 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 1,500 word essay? It takes about 5 hours to write a 1,500 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 1,750 word essay? It takes about 5 hours and 50 minutes to write a 1,750 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 2,000 word essay? It takes about 6 hours and 40 minutes to write a 2,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 2,500 word essay? It takes about 8 hours and 20 minutes to write a 2,500 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 3,000 word essay? It takes about 10 hours to write a 3,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 3,500 word essay? It takes about 11 hours and 40 minutes to write a 3,500 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 4,000 word essay? It takes about 13 hours and 20 minutes to write a 4,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 4,500 word essay? It takes about 15 hours to write a 4,500 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 5,000 word essay? It takes about 16 hours and 40 minutes to write a 5,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 6,000 word essay? It takes about 20 hours to write a 6,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 7,000 word essay? It takes about 23 hours and 20 minutes to write a 7,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 7,500 word essay? It takes about 25 hours to write a 7,500 word essay.

How long does it take to write an 8,000 word essay? It takes about 26 hours and 40 minutes to write an 8,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 9,000 word essay? It takes about 30 hours to write a 9,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 10,000 word essay? It takes about 33 hours and 20 minutes to write a 10,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 12,500 word essay? It takes about 41 hours and 40 minutes to write a 12,500 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 15,000 word essay? It takes about 50 hours to write a 15,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 20,000 word essay? It takes about 66 hours and 40 minutes to write a 20,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 25,000 word essay? It takes about 83 hours and 20 minutes to write a 25,000 word essay.

How long does it take to write a 50,000 word essay? It takes about 166 hours and 40 minutes to write a 50,000 word essay.

(Image courtesy of Miguel )

This isn’t accurate. I wrote my 1000 word essay in an hour, not three hours. You should change the times you have listed to reflect how long it actually takes to write. Obviously you don’t know since the mes you listed are not the same as what I can do!

Did you even read the article? The writer says that it’s based on what she writes and is just a general approximation. How long it takes you or anybody else to write an essay will obviously be different because you’re not the same as everybody else. Nobody writes at the same speed so how long it takes you to write an essay will be different for every person.

Someone doesn’t understand the meaning of “rough estimate”

Well then you must be superhuman or some shit I don’t care, I came here for a question not your butthurt comments. Also, if your so good at writing I wouldn’t have found 2 typos in 2 sentences 🙂

*you’re

If you already have all the research done and know what you want to say, then a 1000 word essay shouldn’t take more than an hour to write. In fact, it probably can be done in 30 minutes or less. The time-consuming part of an essay is the research and how long that takes depends on how much you have to do. But the actual writing of the essay shouldn’t take too long at all.

But research is part of the writing process. If a person writes a book, they don’t only count the time it took them at the typewriter writing. They count all the time it took to research the book as well. Trying to separate the two doesn’t make sense.

I think an important thing to point out here is that there’s a huge difference between writing a 1000 word essay and writing a good 1000 word essay. You can write an essay in hardly any time at all if you don’t do the proper research and don’t spend time editing what you wrote. If you’re going to write a good essay, it’s going to take more time. You should always give yourself more time than you think you’re going to need to get it done.

This applies to all writing. Writing and writing something something well will have a huge time discrepancy even if both writings are the same length. Just because you are able to finish something quickly doesn’t mean that’s the best way to do it.

Exactly! Actually, it can take hours or days to come up with the right line – or it can come in seconds. There’s no real counting in terms of the creative process.

Days to come up with the right line? 😀

It does. Sometimes, no matter how hard you look at something, you won’t be satisfied with it. It may take you days to figure it out. And then, one fine day, you suddenly stand up right in the middle of breakfast and then run upstairs and then type out the right line. Source: personal experience

I just spent 8 hours on a 500-word monologue… This comment made me feel better.

Wow, your advice is excellent it motivated me to do a lot better in my essay.

In my opinion, hours that are presented here a partially true. It may take about an hor to write 300 word essay but editing also takes some time. So on averege, I count the time to write the piece itself + time edit everything.

Research, first draft writing, editing, and rewriting are all part of the writing process. I think the time it takes to do all of them should be counted in the time it takes.

It takes way too long! Teachers should not be allowed to assign essays more than 250 words. They always complain they don’t have enough time and work too hard. It’s only because they make their students do too much work!!

This comment just makes you look lazy. 250 words is nothing. Any topic that needs to be explored will take many more words than this. If you don’t want to write, just admit it and don’t try to project that on others.

If you do your research, use annotations for resources and understand to whom and what you have to transfer than the fewer words the better. Remember that you are demonstrating deep knowledge of the topic by making it accessible to the audience without them doing the research. Simplify, simplify, simplify.

Contrary to what academia self-righteously preach, its imperative for any writing and explanation of thought to be simplified. If you cant explain it in short time/short essay you don’t understand it enough.

I disagree, I feel 250 words is way too less to explain any topic. In my opinion, the maximum word count for an essay should be 1500.

It should take long enough that you get all the points you want across in the writing, but not too long as to bore the reader. Writing should be engaging, not boring.

Nice philosophy, but completely unhelpful if you have a paper due tomorrow and limited amount of time to write. The real world doesn’t work that way.

If someone has an essay due tomorrow and they waste time reading this, then they are a bit of an idiot for giving themselves even less time to work with. If they’re leaving work to the last minute like that, then the only thing they should be doing is jumping right in and writing (or planning the essay, but that should be done much sooner).

This is so arbitrary and will depend on the individual. It’s like asking the question, “how long does it take to write a book?” For some, it will only take a couple of months while for others it will take a lifetime. it also depends on the type of writing you’re doing. Some writing is easy and quick and other writing is difficult and requires huge amounts of research.

The uphill task of writing an essay is doing thorough research. Once you have completed the research, you can deliver a 1000 word paper per hour

I completely agree with you on that one. I recently worked on a 4000 word essay, and while the research did take me three hours to conduct, I completed the essay itself in a bit less than four hours and scored a total of 32/34 points.

So happy to read that! That’s because I just realised, that that is what I needed to read. I’ve got two months to write six 2500 word essays. I’ve been procrastinating because I’m simply in fear of doing a bad job. I’ve done lots of research; made lots of notes; collected citations and written nothing. It’s time. I can do this!

I’m writing a 1600 word essay right now as I type this lol

Then show me after you have finished.

Im writing a 2500 word essay, almost done, I can’t even imagine writing a 10000 word essay in university, that sounds EXTREMELY painful 🙁

I found these estimations quite accurate, thank you.

I’m writing a narrative for my English class right this moment and the word requirements are 800-1000. I’ve only been working for two hours and I’m at 1,157. I’m nowhere near done…

your word requirements are 800-1000 and u have 1157? You’ve been done for a while I would say

Wow i have to write a 1 500 word essay in 4 days and I have about 1050 words left Dono how long thats gonna take me 😂😭😭😭

I am writing a dissertation and those estimations made me positive because just 41 hour to write 12,000 essay seems nothing. But at the moment I just finished literature review(though the hardest part yet) without editing I am already at over 35 hours of work. And that’s not even a half! But I am aiming for a good grade though…

I’ve found these estimates incredibly accurate in my years in college. I’m about to graduate next week and have one more 3500 word paper to write. We’ll see if the estimates hold true. However, the estimates (for me at least) don’t include the time it takes to edit so I usually add a little time depending on how long the essay/paper has to be.

Wow, these tips are helpful, Thank You to the creator of this website. These tips helped me a lot in my essay for school.

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Crying Myself to Sleep on the Biggest Cruise Ship Ever

Seven agonizing nights aboard the Icon of the Seas

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Updated at 2:44 p.m. ET on April 6, 2024.

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MY FIRST GLIMPSE of Royal Caribbean’s Icon of the Seas, from the window of an approaching Miami cab, brings on a feeling of vertigo, nausea, amazement, and distress. I shut my eyes in defense, as my brain tells my optic nerve to try again.

The ship makes no sense, vertically or horizontally. It makes no sense on sea, or on land, or in outer space. It looks like a hodgepodge of domes and minarets, tubes and canopies, like Istanbul had it been designed by idiots. Vibrant, oversignifying colors are stacked upon other such colors, decks perched over still more decks; the only comfort is a row of lifeboats ringing its perimeter. There is no imposed order, no cogent thought, and, for those who do not harbor a totalitarian sense of gigantomania, no visual mercy. This is the biggest cruise ship ever built, and I have been tasked with witnessing its inaugural voyage.

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“Author embarks on their first cruise-ship voyage” has been a staple of American essay writing for almost three decades, beginning with David Foster Wallace’s “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again,” which was first published in 1996 under the title “Shipping Out.” Since then, many admirable writers have widened and diversified the genre. Usually the essayist commissioned to take to the sea is in their first or second flush of youth and is ready to sharpen their wit against the hull of the offending vessel. I am 51, old and tired, having seen much of the world as a former travel journalist, and mostly what I do in both life and prose is shrug while muttering to my imaginary dachshund, “This too shall pass.” But the Icon of the Seas will not countenance a shrug. The Icon of the Seas is the Linda Loman of cruise ships, exclaiming that attention must be paid. And here I am in late January with my one piece of luggage and useless gray winter jacket and passport, zipping through the Port of Miami en route to the gangway that will separate me from the bulk of North America for more than seven days, ready to pay it in full.

The aforementioned gangway opens up directly onto a thriving mall (I will soon learn it is imperiously called the “Royal Promenade”), presently filled with yapping passengers beneath a ceiling studded with balloons ready to drop. Crew members from every part of the global South, as well as a few Balkans, are shepherding us along while pressing flutes of champagne into our hands. By a humming Starbucks, I drink as many of these as I can and prepare to find my cabin. I show my blue Suite Sky SeaPass Card (more on this later, much more) to a smiling woman from the Philippines, and she tells me to go “aft.” Which is where, now? As someone who has rarely sailed on a vessel grander than the Staten Island Ferry, I am confused. It turns out that the aft is the stern of the ship, or, for those of us who don’t know what a stern or an aft are, its ass. The nose of the ship, responsible for separating the waves before it, is also called a bow, and is marked for passengers as the FWD , or forward. The part of the contemporary sailing vessel where the malls are clustered is called the midship. I trust that you have enjoyed this nautical lesson.

I ascend via elevator to my suite on Deck 11. This is where I encounter my first terrible surprise. My suite windows and balcony do not face the ocean. Instead, they look out onto another shopping mall. This mall is the one that’s called Central Park, perhaps in homage to the Olmsted-designed bit of greenery in the middle of my hometown. Although on land I would be delighted to own a suite with Central Park views, here I am deeply depressed. To sail on a ship and not wake up to a vast blue carpet of ocean? Unthinkable.

Allow me a brief preamble here. The story you are reading was commissioned at a moment when most staterooms on the Icon were sold out. In fact, so enthralled by the prospect of this voyage were hard-core mariners that the ship’s entire inventory of guest rooms (the Icon can accommodate up to 7,600 passengers, but its inaugural journey was reduced to 5,000 or so for a less crowded experience) was almost immediately sold out. Hence, this publication was faced with the shocking prospect of paying nearly $19,000 to procure for this solitary passenger an entire suite—not including drinking expenses—all for the privilege of bringing you this article. But the suite in question doesn’t even have a view of the ocean! I sit down hard on my soft bed. Nineteen thousand dollars for this .

The viewless suite does have its pluses. In addition to all the Malin+Goetz products in my dual bathrooms, I am granted use of a dedicated Suite Deck lounge; access to Coastal Kitchen, a superior restaurant for Suites passengers; complimentary VOOM SM Surf & Stream (“the fastest Internet at Sea”) “for one device per person for the whole cruise duration”; a pair of bathrobes (one of which comes prestained with what looks like a large expectoration by the greenest lizard on Earth); and use of the Grove Suite Sun, an area on Decks 18 and 19 with food and deck chairs reserved exclusively for Suite passengers. I also get reserved seating for a performance of The Wizard of Oz , an ice-skating tribute to the periodic table, and similar provocations. The very color of my Suite Sky SeaPass Card, an oceanic blue as opposed to the cloying royal purple of the standard non-Suite passenger, will soon provoke envy and admiration. But as high as my status may be, there are those on board who have much higher status still, and I will soon learn to bow before them.

In preparation for sailing, I have “priced in,” as they say on Wall Street, the possibility that I may come from a somewhat different monde than many of the other cruisers. Without falling into stereotypes or preconceptions, I prepare myself for a friendly outspokenness on the part of my fellow seafarers that may not comply with modern DEI standards. I believe in meeting people halfway, and so the day before flying down to Miami, I visited what remains of Little Italy to purchase a popular T-shirt that reads DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL across the breast in the colors of the Italian flag. My wife recommended that I bring one of my many T-shirts featuring Snoopy and the Peanuts gang, as all Americans love the beagle and his friends. But I naively thought that my meatball T-shirt would be more suitable for conversation-starting. “Oh, and who is your ‘daddy’?” some might ask upon seeing it. “And how long have you been his ‘little meatball’?” And so on.

I put on my meatball T-shirt and head for one of the dining rooms to get a late lunch. In the elevator, I stick out my chest for all to read the funny legend upon it, but soon I realize that despite its burnished tricolor letters, no one takes note. More to the point, no one takes note of me. Despite my attempts at bridge building, the very sight of me (small, ethnic, without a cap bearing the name of a football team) elicits no reaction from other passengers. Most often, they will small-talk over me as if I don’t exist. This brings to mind the travails of David Foster Wallace , who felt so ostracized by his fellow passengers that he retreated to his cabin for much of his voyage. And Wallace was raised primarily in the Midwest and was a much larger, more American-looking meatball than I am. If he couldn’t talk to these people, how will I? What if I leave this ship without making any friends at all, despite my T-shirt? I am a social creature, and the prospect of seven days alone and apart is saddening. Wallace’s stateroom, at least, had a view of the ocean, a kind of cheap eternity.

Worse awaits me in the dining room. This is a large, multichandeliered room where I attended my safety training (I was shown how to put on a flotation vest; it is a very simple procedure). But the maître d’ politely refuses me entry in an English that seems to verge on another language. “I’m sorry, this is only for pendejos ,” he seems to be saying. I push back politely and he repeats himself. Pendejos ? Piranhas? There’s some kind of P-word to which I am not attuned. Meanwhile elderly passengers stream right past, powered by their limbs, walkers, and electric wheelchairs. “It is only pendejo dining today, sir.” “But I have a suite!” I say, already starting to catch on to the ship’s class system. He examines my card again. “But you are not a pendejo ,” he confirms. I am wearing a DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL T-shirt, I want to say to him. I am the essence of pendejo .

Eventually, I give up and head to the plebeian buffet on Deck 15, which has an aquatic-styled name I have now forgotten. Before gaining entry to this endless cornucopia of reheated food, one passes a washing station of many sinks and soap dispensers, and perhaps the most intriguing character on the entire ship. He is Mr. Washy Washy—or, according to his name tag, Nielbert of the Philippines—and he is dressed as a taco (on other occasions, I’ll see him dressed as a burger). Mr. Washy Washy performs an eponymous song in spirited, indeed flamboyant English: “Washy, washy, wash your hands, WASHY WASHY!” The dangers of norovirus and COVID on a cruise ship this size (a giant fellow ship was stricken with the former right after my voyage) makes Mr. Washy Washy an essential member of the crew. The problem lies with the food at the end of Washy’s rainbow. The buffet is groaning with what sounds like sophisticated dishes—marinated octopus, boiled egg with anchovy, chorizo, lobster claws—but every animal tastes tragically the same, as if there was only one creature available at the market, a “cruisipus” bred specifically for Royal Caribbean dining. The “vegetables” are no better. I pick up a tomato slice and look right through it. It tastes like cellophane. I sit alone, apart from the couples and parents with gaggles of children, as “We Are Family” echoes across the buffet space.

I may have failed to mention that all this time, the Icon of the Seas has not left port. As the fiery mango of the subtropical setting sun makes Miami’s condo skyline even more apocalyptic, the ship shoves off beneath a perfunctory display of fireworks. After the sun sets, in the far, dark distance, another circus-lit cruise ship ruptures the waves before us. We glance at it with pity, because it is by definition a smaller ship than our own. I am on Deck 15, outside the buffet and overlooking a bunch of pools (the Icon has seven of them), drinking a frilly drink that I got from one of the bars (the Icon has 15 of them), still too shy to speak to anyone, despite Sister Sledge’s assertion that all on the ship are somehow related.

Kim Brooks: On failing the family vacation

The ship’s passage away from Ron DeSantis’s Florida provides no frisson, no sense of developing “sea legs,” as the ship is too large to register the presence of waves unless a mighty wind adds significant chop. It is time for me to register the presence of the 5,000 passengers around me, even if they refuse to register mine. My fellow travelers have prepared for this trip with personally decorated T-shirts celebrating the importance of this voyage. The simplest ones say ICON INAUGURAL ’24 on the back and the family name on the front. Others attest to an over-the-top love of cruise ships: WARNING! MAY START TALKING ABOUT CRUISING . Still others are artisanally designed and celebrate lifetimes spent married while cruising (on ships, of course). A couple possibly in their 90s are wearing shirts whose backs feature a drawing of a cruise liner, two flamingos with ostensibly male and female characteristics, and the legend “ HUSBAND AND WIFE Cruising Partners FOR LIFE WE MAY NOT HAVE IT All Together BUT TOGETHER WE HAVE IT ALL .” (The words not in all caps have been written in cursive.) A real journalist or a more intrepid conversationalist would have gone up to the couple and asked them to explain the longevity of their marriage vis-à-vis their love of cruising. But instead I head to my mall suite, take off my meatball T-shirt, and allow the first tears of the cruise to roll down my cheeks slowly enough that I briefly fall asleep amid the moisture and salt.

I WAKE UP with a hangover. Oh God. Right. I cannot believe all of that happened last night. A name floats into my cobwebbed, nauseated brain: “Ayn Rand.” Jesus Christ.

I breakfast alone at the Coastal Kitchen. The coffee tastes fine and the eggs came out of a bird. The ship rolls slightly this morning; I can feel it in my thighs and my schlong, the parts of me that are most receptive to danger.

I had a dangerous conversation last night. After the sun set and we were at least 50 miles from shore (most modern cruise ships sail at about 23 miles an hour), I lay in bed softly hiccupping, my arms stretched out exactly like Jesus on the cross, the sound of the distant waves missing from my mall-facing suite, replaced by the hum of air-conditioning and children shouting in Spanish through the vents of my two bathrooms. I decided this passivity was unacceptable. As an immigrant, I feel duty-bound to complete the tasks I am paid for, which means reaching out and trying to understand my fellow cruisers. So I put on a normal James Perse T-shirt and headed for one of the bars on the Royal Promenade—the Schooner Bar, it was called, if memory serves correctly.

I sat at the bar for a martini and two Negronis. An old man with thick, hairy forearms drank next to me, very silent and Hemingwaylike, while a dreadlocked piano player tinkled out a series of excellent Elton John covers. To my right, a young white couple—he in floral shorts, she in a light, summery miniskirt with a fearsome diamond ring, neither of them in football regalia—chatted with an elderly couple. Do it , I commanded myself. Open your mouth. Speak! Speak without being spoken to. Initiate. A sentence fragment caught my ear from the young woman, “Cherry Hill.” This is a suburb of Philadelphia in New Jersey, and I had once been there for a reading at a synagogue. “Excuse me,” I said gently to her. “Did you just mention Cherry Hill? It’s a lovely place.”

As it turned out, the couple now lived in Fort Lauderdale (the number of Floridians on the cruise surprised me, given that Southern Florida is itself a kind of cruise ship, albeit one slowly sinking), but soon they were talking with me exclusively—the man potbellied, with a chin like a hard-boiled egg; the woman as svelte as if she were one of the many Ukrainian members of the crew—the elderly couple next to them forgotten. This felt as groundbreaking as the first time I dared to address an American in his native tongue, as a child on a bus in Queens (“On my foot you are standing, Mister”).

“I don’t want to talk politics,” the man said. “But they’re going to eighty-six Biden and put Michelle in.”

I considered the contradictions of his opening conversational gambit, but decided to play along. “People like Michelle,” I said, testing the waters. The husband sneered, but the wife charitably put forward that the former first lady was “more personable” than Joe Biden. “They’re gonna eighty-six Biden,” the husband repeated. “He can’t put a sentence together.”

After I mentioned that I was a writer—though I presented myself as a writer of teleplays instead of novels and articles such as this one—the husband told me his favorite writer was Ayn Rand. “Ayn Rand, she came here with nothing,” the husband said. “I work with a lot of Cubans, so …” I wondered if I should mention what I usually do to ingratiate myself with Republicans or libertarians: the fact that my finances improved after pass-through corporations were taxed differently under Donald Trump. Instead, I ordered another drink and the couple did the same, and I told him that Rand and I were born in the same city, St. Petersburg/Leningrad, and that my family also came here with nothing. Now the bonding and drinking began in earnest, and several more rounds appeared. Until it all fell apart.

Read: Gary Shteyngart on watching Russian television for five days straight

My new friend, whom I will refer to as Ayn, called out to a buddy of his across the bar, and suddenly a young couple, both covered in tattoos, appeared next to us. “He fucking punked me,” Ayn’s frat-boy-like friend called out as he put his arm around Ayn, while his sizable partner sizzled up to Mrs. Rand. Both of them had a look I have never seen on land—their eyes projecting absence and enmity in equal measure. In the ’90s, I drank with Russian soldiers fresh from Chechnya and wandered the streets of wartime Zagreb, but I have never seen such undisguised hostility toward both me and perhaps the universe at large. I was briefly introduced to this psychopathic pair, but neither of them wanted to have anything to do with me, and the tattooed woman would not even reveal her Christian name to me (she pretended to have the same first name as Mrs. Rand). To impress his tattooed friends, Ayn made fun of the fact that as a television writer, I’d worked on the series Succession (which, it would turn out, practically nobody on the ship had watched), instead of the far more palatable, in his eyes, zombie drama of last year. And then my new friends drifted away from me into an angry private conversation—“He punked me!”—as I ordered another drink for myself, scared of the dead-eyed arrivals whose gaze never registered in the dim wattage of the Schooner Bar, whose terrifying voices and hollow laughs grated like unoiled gears against the crooning of “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.”

But today is a new day for me and my hangover. After breakfast, I explore the ship’s so-called neighborhoods . There’s the AquaDome, where one can find a food hall and an acrobatic sound-and-light aquatic show. Central Park has a premium steak house, a sushi joint, and a used Rolex that can be bought for $8,000 on land here proudly offered at $17,000. There’s the aforementioned Royal Promenade, where I had drunk with the Rands, and where a pair of dueling pianos duel well into the night. There’s Surfside, a kids’ neighborhood full of sugary garbage, which looks out onto the frothy trail that the behemoth leaves behind itself. Thrill Island refers to the collection of tubes that clutter the ass of the ship and offer passengers six waterslides and a surfing simulation. There’s the Hideaway, an adult zone that plays music from a vomit-slathered, Brit-filled Alicante nightclub circa 1996 and proves a big favorite with groups of young Latin American customers. And, most hurtfully, there’s the Suite Neighborhood.

I say hurtfully because as a Suite passenger I should be here, though my particular suite is far from the others. Whereas I am stuck amid the riffraff of Deck 11, this section is on the highborn Decks 16 and 17, and in passing, I peek into the spacious, tall-ceilinged staterooms from the hallway, dazzled by the glint of the waves and sun. For $75,000, one multifloor suite even comes with its own slide between floors, so that a family may enjoy this particular terror in private. There is a quiet splendor to the Suite Neighborhood. I see fewer stickers and signs and drawings than in my own neighborhood—for example, MIKE AND DIANA PROUDLY SERVED U.S. MARINE CORPS RETIRED . No one here needs to announce their branch of service or rank; they are simply Suites, and this is where they belong. Once again, despite my hard work and perseverance, I have been disallowed from the true American elite. Once again, I am “Not our class, dear.” I am reminded of watching The Love Boat on my grandmother’s Zenith, which either was given to her or we found in the trash (I get our many malfunctioning Zeniths confused) and whose tube got so hot, I would put little chunks of government cheese on a thin tissue atop it to give our welfare treat a pleasant, Reagan-era gooeyness. I could not understand English well enough then to catch the nuances of that seafaring program, but I knew that there were differences in the status of the passengers, and that sometimes those differences made them sad. Still, this ship, this plenty—every few steps, there are complimentary nachos or milkshakes or gyros on offer—was the fatty fuel of my childhood dreams. If only I had remained a child.

I walk around the outdoor decks looking for company. There is a middle-aged African American couple who always seem to be asleep in each other’s arms, probably exhausted from the late capitalism they regularly encounter on land. There is far more diversity on this ship than I expected. Many couples are a testament to Loving v. Virginia , and there is a large group of folks whose T-shirts read MELANIN AT SEA / IT’S THE MELANIN FOR ME . I smile when I see them, but then some young kids from the group makes Mr. Washy Washy do a cruel, caricatured “Burger Dance” (today he is in his burger getup), and I think, Well, so much for intersectionality .

At the infinity pool on Deck 17, I spot some elderly women who could be ethnic and from my part of the world, and so I jump in. I am proved correct! Many of them seem to be originally from Queens (“Corona was still great when it was all Italian”), though they are now spread across the tristate area. We bond over the way “Ron-kon-koma” sounds when announced in Penn Station.

“Everyone is here for a different reason,” one of them tells me. She and her ex-husband last sailed together four years ago to prove to themselves that their marriage was truly over. Her 15-year-old son lost his virginity to “an Irish young lady” while their ship was moored in Ravenna, Italy. The gaggle of old-timers competes to tell me their favorite cruising stories and tips. “A guy proposed in Central Park a couple of years ago”—many Royal Caribbean ships apparently have this ridiculous communal area—“and she ran away screaming!” “If you’re diamond-class, you get four drinks for free.” “A different kind of passenger sails out of Bayonne.” (This, perhaps, is racially coded.) “Sometimes, if you tip the bartender $5, your next drink will be free.”

“Everyone’s here for a different reason,” the woman whose marriage ended on a cruise tells me again. “Some people are here for bad reasons—the drinkers and the gamblers. Some people are here for medical reasons.” I have seen more than a few oxygen tanks and at least one woman clearly undergoing very serious chemo. Some T-shirts celebrate good news about a cancer diagnosis. This might be someone’s last cruise or week on Earth. For these women, who have spent months, if not years, at sea, cruising is a ritual as well as a life cycle: first love, last love, marriage, divorce, death.

Read: The last place on Earth any tourist should go

I have talked with these women for so long, tonight I promise myself that after a sad solitary dinner I will not try to seek out company at the bars in the mall or the adult-themed Hideaway. I have enough material to fulfill my duties to this publication. As I approach my orphaned suite, I run into the aggro young people who stole Mr. and Mrs. Rand away from me the night before. The tattooed apparitions pass me without a glance. She is singing something violent about “Stuttering Stanley” (a character in a popular horror movie, as I discover with my complimentary VOOM SM Surf & Stream Internet at Sea) and he’s loudly shouting about “all the money I’ve lost,” presumably at the casino in the bowels of the ship.

So these bent psychos out of a Cormac McCarthy novel are angrily inhabiting my deck. As I mewl myself to sleep, I envision a limited series for HBO or some other streamer, a kind of low-rent White Lotus , where several aggressive couples conspire to throw a shy intellectual interloper overboard. I type the scenario into my phone. As I fall asleep, I think of what the woman who recently divorced her husband and whose son became a man through the good offices of the Irish Republic told me while I was hoisting myself out of the infinity pool. “I’m here because I’m an explorer. I’m here because I’m trying something new.” What if I allowed myself to believe in her fantasy?

“YOU REALLY STARTED AT THE TOP,” they tell me. I’m at the Coastal Kitchen for my eggs and corned-beef hash, and the maître d’ has slotted me in between two couples. Fueled by coffee or perhaps intrigued by my relative youth, they strike up a conversation with me. As always, people are shocked that this is my first cruise. They contrast the Icon favorably with all the preceding liners in the Royal Caribbean fleet, usually commenting on the efficiency of the elevators that hurl us from deck to deck (as in many large corporate buildings, the elevators ask you to choose a floor and then direct you to one of many lifts). The couple to my right, from Palo Alto—he refers to his “porn mustache” and calls his wife “my cougar” because she is two years older—tell me they are “Pandemic Pinnacles.”

This is the day that my eyes will be opened. Pinnacles , it is explained to me over translucent cantaloupe, have sailed with Royal Caribbean for 700 ungodly nights. Pandemic Pinnacles took advantage of the two-for-one accrual rate of Pinnacle points during the pandemic, when sailing on a cruise ship was even more ill-advised, to catapult themselves into Pinnacle status.

Because of the importance of the inaugural voyage of the world’s largest cruise liner, more than 200 Pinnacles are on this ship, a startling number, it seems. Mrs. Palo Alto takes out a golden badge that I have seen affixed over many a breast, which reads CROWN AND ANCHOR SOCIETY along with her name. This is the coveted badge of the Pinnacle. “You should hear all the whining in Guest Services,” her husband tells me. Apparently, the Pinnacles who are not also Suites like us are all trying to use their status to get into Coastal Kitchen, our elite restaurant. Even a Pinnacle needs to be a Suite to access this level of corned-beef hash.

“We’re just baby Pinnacles,” Mrs. Palo Alto tells me, describing a kind of internal class struggle among the Pinnacle elite for ever higher status.

And now I understand what the maître d’ was saying to me on the first day of my cruise. He wasn’t saying “ pendejo .” He was saying “Pinnacle.” The dining room was for Pinnacles only, all those older people rolling in like the tide on their motorized scooters.

And now I understand something else: This whole thing is a cult. And like most cults, it can’t help but mirror the endless American fight for status. Like Keith Raniere’s NXIVM, where different-colored sashes were given out to connote rank among Raniere’s branded acolytes, this is an endless competition among Pinnacles, Suites, Diamond-Plusers, and facing-the-mall, no-balcony purple SeaPass Card peasants, not to mention the many distinctions within each category. The more you cruise, the higher your status. No wonder a section of the Royal Promenade is devoted to getting passengers to book their next cruise during the one they should be enjoying now. No wonder desperate Royal Caribbean offers (“FINAL HOURS”) crowded my email account weeks before I set sail. No wonder the ship’s jewelry store, the Royal Bling, is selling a $100,000 golden chalice that will entitle its owner to drink free on Royal Caribbean cruises for life. (One passenger was already gaming out whether her 28-year-old son was young enough to “just about earn out” on the chalice or if that ship had sailed.) No wonder this ship was sold out months before departure , and we had to pay $19,000 for a horrid suite away from the Suite Neighborhood. No wonder the most mythical hero of Royal Caribbean lore is someone named Super Mario, who has cruised so often, he now has his own working desk on many ships. This whole experience is part cult, part nautical pyramid scheme.

From the June 2014 issue: Ship of wonks

“The toilets are amazing,” the Palo Altos are telling me. “One flush and you’re done.” “They don’t understand how energy-efficient these ships are,” the husband of the other couple is telling me. “They got the LNG”—liquefied natural gas, which is supposed to make the Icon a boon to the environment (a concept widely disputed and sometimes ridiculed by environmentalists).

But I’m thinking along a different line of attack as I spear my last pallid slice of melon. For my streaming limited series, a Pinnacle would have to get killed by either an outright peasant or a Suite without an ocean view. I tell my breakfast companions my idea.

“Oh, for sure a Pinnacle would have to be killed,” Mr. Palo Alto, the Pandemic Pinnacle, says, touching his porn mustache thoughtfully as his wife nods.

“THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S your time, buddy!” Hubert, my fun-loving Panamanian cabin attendant, shouts as I step out of my suite in a robe. “Take it easy, buddy!”

I have come up with a new dressing strategy. Instead of trying to impress with my choice of T-shirts, I have decided to start wearing a robe, as one does at a resort property on land, with a proper spa and hammam. The response among my fellow cruisers has been ecstatic. “Look at you in the robe!” Mr. Rand cries out as we pass each other by the Thrill Island aqua park. “You’re living the cruise life! You know, you really drank me under the table that night.” I laugh as we part ways, but my soul cries out, Please spend more time with me, Mr. and Mrs. Rand; I so need the company .

In my white robe, I am a stately presence, a refugee from a better limited series, a one-man crossover episode. (Only Suites are granted these robes to begin with.) Today, I will try many of the activities these ships have on offer to provide their clientele with a sense of never-ceasing motion. Because I am already at Thrill Island, I decide to climb the staircase to what looks like a mast on an old-fashioned ship (terrified, because I am afraid of heights) to try a ride called “Storm Chasers,” which is part of the “Category 6” water park, named in honor of one of the storms that may someday do away with the Port of Miami entirely. Storm Chasers consists of falling from the “mast” down a long, twisting neon tube filled with water, like being the camera inside your own colonoscopy, as you hold on to the handles of a mat, hoping not to die. The tube then flops you down headfirst into a trough of water, a Royal Caribbean baptism. It both knocks my breath out and makes me sad.

In keeping with the aquatic theme, I attend a show at the AquaDome. To the sound of “Live and Let Die,” a man in a harness gyrates to and fro in the sultry air. I saw something very similar in the back rooms of the famed Berghain club in early-aughts Berlin. Soon another harnessed man is gyrating next to the first. Ja , I think to myself, I know how this ends. Now will come the fisting , natürlich . But the show soon devolves into the usual Marvel-film-grade nonsense, with too much light and sound signifying nichts . If any fisting is happening, it is probably in the Suite Neighborhood, inside a cabin marked with an upside-down pineapple, which I understand means a couple are ready to swing, and I will see none of it.

I go to the ice show, which is a kind of homage—if that’s possible—to the periodic table, done with the style and pomp and masterful precision that would please the likes of Kim Jong Un, if only he could afford Royal Caribbean talent. At one point, the dancers skate to the theme song of Succession . “See that!” I want to say to my fellow Suites—at “cultural” events, we have a special section reserved for us away from the commoners—“ Succession ! It’s even better than the zombie show! Open your minds!”

Finally, I visit a comedy revue in an enormous and too brightly lit version of an “intimate,” per Royal Caribbean literature, “Manhattan comedy club.” Many of the jokes are about the cruising life. “I’ve lived on ships for 20 years,” one of the middle-aged comedians says. “I can only see so many Filipino homosexuals dressed as a taco.” He pauses while the audience laughs. “I am so fired tonight,” he says. He segues into a Trump impression and then Biden falling asleep at the microphone, which gets the most laughs. “Anyone here from Fort Leonard Wood?” another comedian asks. Half the crowd seems to cheer. As I fall asleep that night, I realize another connection I have failed to make, and one that may explain some of the diversity on this vessel—many of its passengers have served in the military.

As a coddled passenger with a suite, I feel like I am starting to understand what it means to have a rank and be constantly reminded of it. There are many espresso makers , I think as I look across the expanse of my officer-grade quarters before closing my eyes, but this one is mine .

A shocking sight greets me beyond the pools of Deck 17 as I saunter over to the Coastal Kitchen for my morning intake of slightly sour Americanos. A tiny city beneath a series of perfectly pressed green mountains. Land! We have docked for a brief respite in Basseterre, the capital of St. Kitts and Nevis. I wolf down my egg scramble to be one of the first passengers off the ship. Once past the gangway, I barely refrain from kissing the ground. I rush into the sights and sounds of this scruffy island city, sampling incredible conch curry and buckets of non-Starbucks coffee. How wonderful it is to be where God intended humans to be: on land. After all, I am neither a fish nor a mall rat. This is my natural environment. Basseterre may not be Havana, but there are signs of human ingenuity and desire everywhere you look. The Black Table Grill Has been Relocated to Soho Village, Market Street, Directly Behind of, Gary’s Fruits and Flower Shop. Signed. THE PORK MAN reads a sign stuck to a wall. Now, that is how you write a sign. A real sign, not the come-ons for overpriced Rolexes that blink across the screens of the Royal Promenade.

“Hey, tie your shoestring!” a pair of laughing ladies shout to me across the street.

“Thank you!” I shout back. Shoestring! “Thank you very much.”

A man in Independence Square Park comes by and asks if I want to play with his monkey. I haven’t heard that pickup line since the Penn Station of the 1980s. But then he pulls a real monkey out of a bag. The monkey is wearing a diaper and looks insane. Wonderful , I think, just wonderful! There is so much life here. I email my editor asking if I can remain on St. Kitts and allow the Icon to sail off into the horizon without me. I have even priced a flight home at less than $300, and I have enough material from the first four days on the cruise to write the entire story. “It would be funny …” my editor replies. “Now get on the boat.”

As I slink back to the ship after my brief jailbreak, the locals stand under umbrellas to gaze at and photograph the boat that towers over their small capital city. The limousines of the prime minister and his lackeys are parked beside the gangway. St. Kitts, I’ve been told, is one of the few islands that would allow a ship of this size to dock.

“We hear about all the waterslides,” a sweet young server in one of the cafés told me. “We wish we could go on the ship, but we have to work.”

“I want to stay on your island,” I replied. “I love it here.”

But she didn’t understand how I could possibly mean that.

“WASHY, WASHY, so you don’t get stinky, stinky!” kids are singing outside the AquaDome, while their adult minders look on in disapproval, perhaps worried that Mr. Washy Washy is grooming them into a life of gayness. I heard a southern couple skip the buffet entirely out of fear of Mr. Washy Washy.

Meanwhile, I have found a new watering hole for myself, the Swim & Tonic, the biggest swim-up bar on any cruise ship in the world. Drinking next to full-size, nearly naked Americans takes away one’s own self-consciousness. The men have curvaceous mom bodies. The women are equally un-shy about their sprawling physiques.

Today I’ve befriended a bald man with many children who tells me that all of the little trinkets that Royal Caribbean has left us in our staterooms and suites are worth a fortune on eBay. “Eighty dollars for the water bottle, 60 for the lanyard,” the man says. “This is a cult.”

“Tell me about it,” I say. There is, however, a clientele for whom this cruise makes perfect sense. For a large middle-class family (he works in “supply chains”), seven days in a lower-tier cabin—which starts at $1,800 a person—allow the parents to drop off their children in Surfside, where I imagine many young Filipina crew members will take care of them, while the parents are free to get drunk at a swim-up bar and maybe even get intimate in their cabin. Cruise ships have become, for a certain kind of hardworking family, a form of subsidized child care.

There is another man I would like to befriend at the Swim & Tonic, a tall, bald fellow who is perpetually inebriated and who wears a necklace studded with little rubber duckies in sunglasses, which, I am told, is a sort of secret handshake for cruise aficionados. Tomorrow, I will spend more time with him, but first the ship docks at St. Thomas, in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Charlotte Amalie, the capital, is more charming in name than in presence, but I still all but jump off the ship to score a juicy oxtail and plantains at the well-known Petite Pump Room, overlooking the harbor. From one of the highest points in the small city, the Icon of the Seas appears bigger than the surrounding hills.

I usually tan very evenly, but something about the discombobulation of life at sea makes me forget the regular application of sunscreen. As I walk down the streets of Charlotte Amalie in my fluorescent Icon of the Seas cap, an old Rastafarian stares me down. “Redneck,” he hisses.

“No,” I want to tell him, as I bring a hand up to my red neck, “that’s not who I am at all. On my island, Mannahatta, as Whitman would have it, I am an interesting person living within an engaging artistic milieu. I do not wish to use the Caribbean as a dumping ground for the cruise-ship industry. I love the work of Derek Walcott. You don’t understand. I am not a redneck. And if I am, they did this to me.” They meaning Royal Caribbean? Its passengers? The Rands?

“They did this to me!”

Back on the Icon, some older matrons are muttering about a run-in with passengers from the Celebrity cruise ship docked next to us, the Celebrity Apex. Although Celebrity Cruises is also owned by Royal Caribbean, I am made to understand that there is a deep fratricidal beef between passengers of the two lines. “We met a woman from the Apex,” one matron says, “and she says it was a small ship and there was nothing to do. Her face was as tight as a 19-year-old’s, she had so much surgery.” With those words, and beneath a cloudy sky, humidity shrouding our weathered faces and red necks, we set sail once again, hopefully in the direction of home.

THERE ARE BARELY 48 HOURS LEFT to the cruise, and the Icon of the Seas’ passengers are salty. They know how to work the elevators. They know the Washy Washy song by heart. They understand that the chicken gyro at “Feta Mediterranean,” in the AquaDome Market, is the least problematic form of chicken on the ship.

The passengers have shed their INAUGURAL CRUISE T-shirts and are now starting to evince political opinions. There are caps pledging to make America great again and T-shirts that celebrate words sometimes attributed to Patrick Henry: “The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people; it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.” With their preponderance of FAMILY FLAG FAITH FRIENDS FIREARMS T-shirts, the tables by the crepe station sometimes resemble the Capitol Rotunda on January 6. The Real Anthony Fauci , by Robert F. Kennedy Jr., appears to be a popular form of literature, especially among young men with very complicated versions of the American flag on their T-shirts. Other opinions blend the personal and the political. “Someone needs to kill Washy guy, right?” a well-dressed man in the elevator tells me, his gray eyes radiating nothing. “Just beat him to death. Am I right?” I overhear the male member of a young couple whisper, “There goes that freak” as I saunter by in my white spa robe, and I decide to retire it for the rest of the cruise.

I visit the Royal Bling to see up close the $100,000 golden chalice that entitles you to free drinks on Royal Caribbean forever. The pleasant Serbian saleslady explains that the chalice is actually gold-plated and covered in white zirconia instead of diamonds, as it would otherwise cost $1 million. “If you already have everything,” she explains, “this is one more thing you can get.”

I believe that anyone who works for Royal Caribbean should be entitled to immediate American citizenship. They already speak English better than most of the passengers and, per the Serbian lady’s sales pitch above, better understand what America is as well. Crew members like my Panamanian cabin attendant seem to work 24 hours a day. A waiter from New Delhi tells me that his contract is six months and three weeks long. After a cruise ends, he says, “in a few hours, we start again for the next cruise.” At the end of the half a year at sea, he is allowed a two-to-three-month stay at home with his family. As of 2019, the median income for crew members was somewhere in the vicinity of $20,000, according to a major business publication. Royal Caribbean would not share the current median salary for its crew members, but I am certain that it amounts to a fraction of the cost of a Royal Bling gold-plated, zirconia-studded chalice.

And because most of the Icon’s hyper-sanitized spaces are just a frittata away from being a Delta lounge, one forgets that there are actual sailors on this ship, charged with the herculean task of docking it in port. “Having driven 100,000-ton aircraft carriers throughout my career,” retired Admiral James G. Stavridis, the former NATO Supreme Allied Commander Europe, writes to me, “I’m not sure I would even know where to begin with trying to control a sea monster like this one nearly three times the size.” (I first met Stavridis while touring Army bases in Germany more than a decade ago.)

Today, I decide to head to the hot tub near Swim & Tonic, where some of the ship’s drunkest reprobates seem to gather (the other tubs are filled with families and couples). The talk here, like everywhere else on the ship, concerns football, a sport about which I know nothing. It is apparent that four teams have recently competed in some kind of finals for the year, and that two of them will now face off in the championship. Often when people on the Icon speak, I will try to repeat the last thing they said with a laugh or a nod of disbelief. “Yes, 20-yard line! Ha!” “Oh my God, of course, scrimmage.”

Soon we are joined in the hot tub by the late-middle-age drunk guy with the duck necklace. He is wearing a bucket hat with the legend HAWKEYES , which, I soon gather, is yet another football team. “All right, who turned me in?” Duck Necklace says as he plops into the tub beside us. “I get a call in the morning,” he says. “It’s security. Can you come down to the dining room by 10 a.m.? You need to stay away from the members of this religious family.” Apparently, the gregarious Duck Necklace had photobombed the wrong people. There are several families who present as evangelical Christians or practicing Muslims on the ship. One man, evidently, was not happy that Duck Necklace had made contact with his relatives. “It’s because of religious stuff; he was offended. I put my arm around 20 people a day.”

Everyone laughs. “They asked me three times if I needed medication,” he says of the security people who apparently interrogated him in full view of others having breakfast.

Another hot-tub denizen suggests that he should have asked for fentanyl. After a few more drinks, Duck Necklace begins to muse about what it would be like to fall off the ship. “I’m 62 and I’m ready to go,” he says. “I just don’t want a shark to eat me. I’m a huge God guy. I’m a Bible guy. There’s some Mayan theory squaring science stuff with religion. There is so much more to life on Earth.” We all nod into our Red Stripes.

“I never get off the ship when we dock,” he says. He tells us he lost $6,000 in the casino the other day. Later, I look him up, and it appears that on land, he’s a financial adviser in a crisp gray suit, probably a pillar of his North Chicago community.

THE OCEAN IS TEEMING with fascinating life, but on the surface it has little to teach us. The waves come and go. The horizon remains ever far away.

I am constantly told by my fellow passengers that “everybody here has a story.” Yes, I want to reply, but everybody everywhere has a story. You, the reader of this essay, have a story, and yet you’re not inclined to jump on a cruise ship and, like Duck Necklace, tell your story to others at great pitch and volume. Maybe what they’re saying is that everybody on this ship wants to have a bigger, more coherent, more interesting story than the one they’ve been given. Maybe that’s why there’s so much signage on the doors around me attesting to marriages spent on the sea. Maybe that’s why the Royal Caribbean newsletter slipped under my door tells me that “this isn’t a vacation day spent—it’s bragging rights earned.” Maybe that’s why I’m so lonely.

Today is a big day for Icon passengers. Today the ship docks at Royal Caribbean’s own Bahamian island, the Perfect Day at CocoCay. (This appears to be the actual name of the island.) A comedian at the nightclub opined on what his perfect day at CocoCay would look like—receiving oral sex while learning that his ex-wife had been killed in a car crash (big laughter). But the reality of the island is far less humorous than that.

One of the ethnic tristate ladies in the infinity pool told me that she loved CocoCay because it had exactly the same things that could be found on the ship itself. This proves to be correct. It is like the Icon, but with sand. The same tired burgers, the same colorful tubes conveying children and water from Point A to B. The same swim-up bar at its Hideaway ($140 for admittance, no children allowed; Royal Caribbean must be printing money off its clientele). “There was almost a fight at The Wizard of Oz ,” I overhear an elderly woman tell her companion on a chaise lounge. Apparently one of the passengers began recording Royal Caribbean’s intellectual property and “three guys came after him.”

I walk down a pathway to the center of the island, where a sign reads DO NOT ENTER: YOU HAVE REACHED THE BOUNDARY OF ADVENTURE . I hear an animal scampering in the bushes. A Royal Caribbean worker in an enormous golf cart soon chases me down and takes me back to the Hideaway, where I run into Mrs. Rand in a bikini. She becomes livid telling me about an altercation she had the other day with a woman over a towel and a deck chair. We Suites have special towel privileges; we do not have to hand over our SeaPass Card to score a towel. But the Rands are not Suites. “People are so entitled here,” Mrs. Rand says. “It’s like the airport with all its classes.” “You see,” I want to say, “this is where your husband’s love of Ayn Rand runs into the cruelties and arbitrary indignities of unbridled capitalism.” Instead we make plans to meet for a final drink in the Schooner Bar tonight (the Rands will stand me up).

Back on the ship, I try to do laps, but the pool (the largest on any cruise ship, naturally) is fully trashed with the detritus of American life: candy wrappers, a slowly dissolving tortilla chip, napkins. I take an extra-long shower in my suite, then walk around the perimeter of the ship on a kind of exercise track, past all the alluring lifeboats in their yellow-and-white livery. Maybe there is a dystopian angle to the HBO series that I will surely end up pitching, one with shades of WALL-E or Snowpiercer . In a collapsed world, a Royal Caribbean–like cruise liner sails from port to port, collecting new shipmates and supplies in exchange for the precious energy it has on board. (The actual Icon features a new technology that converts passengers’ poop into enough energy to power the waterslides . In the series, this shitty technology would be greatly expanded.) A very young woman (18? 19?), smart and lonely, who has only known life on the ship, walks along the same track as I do now, contemplating jumping off into the surf left by its wake. I picture reusing Duck Necklace’s words in the opening shot of the pilot. The girl is walking around the track, her eyes on the horizon; maybe she’s highborn—a Suite—and we hear the voice-over: “I’m 19 and I’m ready to go. I just don’t want a shark to eat me.”

Before the cruise is finished, I talk to Mr. Washy Washy, or Nielbert of the Philippines. He is a sweet, gentle man, and I thank him for the earworm of a song he has given me and for keeping us safe from the dreaded norovirus. “This is very important to me, getting people to wash their hands,” he tells me in his burger getup. He has dreams, as an artist and a performer, but they are limited in scope. One day he wants to dress up as a piece of bacon for the morning shift.

THE MAIDEN VOYAGE OF THE TITANIC (the Icon of the Seas is five times as large as that doomed vessel) at least offered its passengers an exciting ending to their cruise, but when I wake up on the eighth day, all I see are the gray ghosts that populate Miami’s condo skyline. Throughout my voyage, my writer friends wrote in to commiserate with me. Sloane Crosley, who once covered a three-day spa mini-cruise for Vogue , tells me she felt “so very alone … I found it very untethering.” Gideon Lewis-Kraus writes in an Instagram comment: “When Gary is done I think it’s time this genre was taken out back and shot.” And he is right. To badly paraphrase Adorno: After this, no more cruise stories. It is unfair to put a thinking person on a cruise ship. Writers typically have difficult childhoods, and it is cruel to remind them of the inherent loneliness that drove them to writing in the first place. It is also unseemly to write about the kind of people who go on cruises. Our country does not provide the education and upbringing that allow its citizens an interior life. For the creative class to point fingers at the large, breasty gentlemen adrift in tortilla-chip-laden pools of water is to gather a sour harvest of low-hanging fruit.

A day or two before I got off the ship, I decided to make use of my balcony, which I had avoided because I thought the view would only depress me further. What I found shocked me. My suite did not look out on Central Park after all. This entire time, I had been living in the ship’s Disneyland, Surfside, the neighborhood full of screaming toddlers consuming milkshakes and candy. And as I leaned out over my balcony, I beheld a slight vista of the sea and surf that I thought I had been missing. It had been there all along. The sea was frothy and infinite and blue-green beneath the span of a seagull’s wing. And though it had been trod hard by the world’s largest cruise ship, it remained.

This article appears in the May 2024 print edition with the headline “A Meatball at Sea.” When you buy a book using a link on this page, we receive a commission. Thank you for supporting The Atlantic.