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How to Write a Victim Impact Statement

Domestic abuse survivors have the right to tell a judge how a crime has affected them.

  • By Amanda Kippert
  • Jan 15, 2024

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How to Write a Victim Impact Statement

A victim impact statement is a written account of how a victim, their family members or friends have been impacted by the actions of a perpetrator. Not only relegated to domestic violence crimes, victim impact statements can be submitted by the victim of any offense. They are given to a judge often at or before the sentencing of a defendant. Though not required, they are a right that victims can exercise if they so choose to. The impact statement can be the first time the judge hears the victim’s side in their own words, or through the words of a loved one. 

Victim impact statements can also be the first time a survivor or their loved ones may address the perpetrator directly if they feel comfortable doing so. We saw a powerful example of this in the 2018 trial of Larry Nassar, the former team doctor for the USA Gymnastics team who sexually abused at least 265 girls and women over the span of his career. An astounding 204 women stood up at his trial to read victim impact statements aloud. One by one, these survivors bravely faced the court and Nassar himself to share how his actions had affected their lives. 

Kyle Stephens was only 6 years old when Nassar began to abuse her. She read her powerful statement to Nassar directly.

"You used my body for six years for your own sexual gratification. That is unforgivable. Perhaps you have figured it out by now, but little girls don't stay little forever. They grow into strong women that return to destroy your world."

How to Write a Strong Victim Impact Statement

Former attorney and current domestic violence advocate Barry Goldstein says victim impact statements can be a powerful tool to make a survivor heard. 

“[During the] victim’s rights movement this was one of the things that was implemented. It can be a factor in determining a defendant’s sentence,” explains Goldstein. 

“In the case of domestic violence,” he says, “It can be dangerous to read it in front of an abuser, but sometimes, they [the survivor] do want the abuser to know what they did.” While many people could know an abuser from the persona they display in public, it may be very different from how he acted behind closed doors. 

“Many court professionals fail to realize this, and that’s a piece of context to definitely include,” says Goldstein.

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Questions to ask before writing a victim impact statement.

Advocates suggest domestic violence survivors or support persons ask themselves the following questions before beginning to write a victim impact statement. These questions can help the writer figure out what they want to say to a judge and how they want to say it. 

  • What kind of emotional impact has the crime had on you?
  • How has your ability to relate to other people changed as a result of this?
  • What specific injuries are you suffering due to the crime?
  • What kind of financial impact has the crime had on you? Did you have to miss work, move or are you facing substantial hospital or therapy bills?
  • How long do you expect to receive treatment as a result of this crime?
  • How else has your life or your family’s life changed as a result of this criminal’s actions?
  • If you are a friend or loved one of the victim, talk a little about victim and what kind of person he or she was. What kind of relationship did you have with them?

Advocates warn not to put personal information into the statement, like your address, phone number, email address, place of employment or where your children go to school. The offender will be able to view a copy of this statement.

victim personal statement domestic violence examples

Writing a Statement After Her Sister’s Murder 

Tene Goodwin wrote a victim impact statement after her younger sister, Taitu Goodwin, was murdered in 2019 by an ex-boyfriend. 

“She was a victim of domestic violence during the relationship. When she ended it, he broke into her house and killed her,” Tene says. 

The sisters were very close. “My life was essentially destroyed and also the same for my family,” Tene says.

In her statement, Tene described how her sister’s life was just beginning, how she had recently graduated with a master’s degree in law and international trade and started a new career just six months prior. She had a family who loved her, especially her young nephew and nieces. She wrote how it was all taken away just three months after her sister’s 27th birthday by a jealous, hateful ex-boyfriend who refused to let her end a relationship and murdered her instead.

Tene says she suffered severe panic attacks in the aftermath of her sister’s murder. She couldn’t be around people she didn’t know, especially men. She couldn’t go to work or barely even leave the house. The rest of her family was just as traumatized. 

She says getting it down on paper was therapeutic. 

“Before I wrote the statement, any time I had a panic attack or felt on the brink of despair, I felt extreme guilt because I thought, ‘I wasn't the one murdered. I shouldn’t be feeling this way.' But after writing down the impact of her murder on me I realized the way I felt was valid,” says Tene.

Ultimately, Tene decided not to submit the victim impact statement. 

“Testifying was its own traumatic event and afterward, in my emotional exhaustion, I just .. I didn’t have the energy. But more importantly, I felt like the act of writing it was what gave me the courage to be able to testify and so it had served its purpose.”

She hopes other survivors find the courage to write their own victim impact statements. 

“There's so much silence around domestic violence crimes and I think it’s [victim impact statements] a way to regain strength by using your voice to speak up about what was done to you. Oftentimes there's a lot of gaslighting in domestic violence, so for victims to be able to assert their experience and the impact on them can be pivotal to their healing.”

Victim Impact Statements Don’t Guarantee Harsher Sentences

Stephanie wrote a victim impact statement after being the survivor of an armed robbery. 

“A friend and I were robbed by a stranger coming out of a Subway. We were held at gunpoint but managed to run away in two different directions. My friend slipped on ice, the gunman caught up to him, pointed the gun into his abdomen and said he'd shoot him if I didn't return.”

Stephanie went back to the robber who put the gun to her head. He forced Stephanie and her friend to walk to an abandoned house where he said he was going to kill them, but they were able to run away. The robber fired his gun, but Stephanie and her friend escaped unharmed.  

She chose to write a victim impact statement but says it didn’t have the effect she hoped for. 

“Words didn't hold a candle to what had happened in my body. I thought my testimony should be sufficient because I covered a lot of the same territory in both… I tried to share the impact of what had happened but, so soon after the incident, I was still in shock and couldn't even process it.”

Stephanie felt like her statement didn’t make a big difference in sentencing. 

“The judge didn't even sentence him to required minimums, somehow. He should have gotten at least 25 years and got seven.”

Goldstein says that whether the victim impact statement affects sentencing “very much depends on the judge.” 

“Sometimes they read them and sometimes they don’t,” he acknowledges. This means that survivors who chose to write them should know this going in. Is the potential retraumatization of reading the statement out loud worth it?

Justice can look different to different survivors. A victim impact statement may be a part of that, or it may not. Read, “ What Does Justice Look Like for Abuse Survivors ?” for more information. 

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What is a Victim Impact Statement?

A Victim Impact Statement is a written or oral statement presented to the court at the sentencing of the defendant.  Many times victims, their family members, and friends of the victim participate in both written and verbal statements.  More often than not, numerous individuals write letters to the sentencing judge and only a few of those directly connected to the crime speak at sentencing.  Victim Impact Statements were created as an opportunity for the judge to hear how a criminal action has affected you and those that you love.  Victim Impact Statements are not limited to the courts.  Many times, probation or paroling agencies allow for an opportunity to present a statement as well.

How to Write a Victim Impact Statement?

As you are preparing your impact statement, you may find that using the following questions can guide you.  Remember that writing about your feelings may be very painful, so be sure to pace yourself and don’t feel that you need to have it “perfect”.  Be gentle with yourself and take as many breaks as you need.  As you are preparing your statement, you may find that the following questions can guide you:

  • How did the crime affect you and your family?
  • What was the emotional impact of the crime on you and your family?
  • What was the financial impact on you and your family?
  • Do you have any recommendations to the court about disposition (sentencing) of this case?
  • Is there anything else you would like to tell the court?

The above guidelines do not cover the totality of the impact of crime, but may be used as a starting point.  Victim Impact statements are unique to you and people have various ways of expressing how crime has affected them.  Even though guidelines are typically given to you before sentencing, and there is much flexibility in how you present your statement, there are things you will need to take into consideration.

  • Write simply and descriptively.  Your goal is to help the court feel your trauma. While nobody can truly understand what you are feeling, you can help others identify with your trauma by using feeling evoking words and phrases.  Using descriptive words can help people form an image of what you are saying.

Every morning when I wake up, I have to remind myself that my attacker won’t be able to hurt me today. If I don’t tell myself that I simply can’t get out of bed.  Since I was assaulted I have lost the full function of my right leg. I still have to go to the doctor for physical therapy and they fear that I still won’t be able to walk the same. I used to love to run, until my attacker took that away from me.  It hurts emotionally and physically to even make it to work in the morning. When I drive past the place that this all happened I try not to shake in fear.  I can’t sleep most nights without nightmares of my attacker. I so desperately want my life back. The life I had before he took my life away.

  • Do address the judge, or paroling authority, when you speak.  You may want to talk directly to the offender.  If this is something you want to do, ask permission from the judge first.  You can still say what you need regarding the offender through the judge.
  • Do ask permission if a picture is part of your statement.  More often than not this is allowed, but any visual aids you utilize will need permission from the court first.
  • Do write out your statement in advance.  Presenting a statement is emotional.  You may think you know what you want to say but when the time comes, your emotions could take over and your train of thought is lost.  If this occurs, you can read directly from your statement.
  • Do have an alternate person that can read your statement in case you cannot finish.
  • Don’t directly express your anger toward the court or the offender.  Your goal is to express your hurt and your pain, not to blame.  The blame has already been placed on the offender, so now is the time to talk about what you have been experiencing through your loss.
  • Don’t use unsuitable language, as it will diminish the effectiveness of your statement.
  • Don’t describe what you want to happen to the offender in prison.  Please do not get descriptive about any harm you would like to see imposed.
  • Don’t put personal, identifying information in your letter and do not say it verbally in court.  This includes your physical address, mailing address, email address and phone number.  The offender will be provided copies of all letters submitted.  If you state this out loud in court, it will be another opportunity for the offender to contact you in the future.

What Happens to my Victim Impact Statement?  Do I Have to Read it in Court?

Preparing and presenting an impact statement in court, or in front of a paroling or probation agency, can be intimidating.  If you do not think you can physically stand in front of the offender and read your statement, have an alternate in mind beforehand.  It does not matter who presents your statement as long as you have identified this person in advance.  Many times, victim advocates are asked to present impact statements.  It does not have to be a victim advocate, and should be someone you feel comfortable expressing your words. If you submit a letter, this will become part of the court file, the prosecutor’s file and defense file.  Victim Impact Statements can also be included in the offender’s Department of Corrections file.  It could be subject to public disclosure.  This is why it is essential to not include contact information in your statements, written or verbally.

Why Write a Victim Impact Statement?

It is not mandatory you write an impact statement.  This is a right you have but not one you have to participate in.  Many choose not to participate.  There are several reasons why Victim Impact Statements are beneficial.  The reasons stated below are just a few.

  • The judge gets to hear your side of the story.  This is usually the first time this occurs.  Throughout the criminal justice process, the focus is on the offender.  Hearing from those that are affected by the crime puts a face with an often forgotten victim.
  • You have a chance to tell the judge how you want sentencing to occur.  More often than not, cases conclude by a plea offer.  Many times the prosecutor and defense have agreed to a recommended amount of time.  The judge is not bound by that agreement.  You can make a difference in the amount of time an offender receives by speaking up.  This is true in cases that go to trial as well.
  • You have the opportunity to address the court, and the offender by way of the court, about how the crime has affected you.  Many find this helpful in the journey of victimization.  Letting those know how they harmed you can be beneficial for emotional well-being.
  • The impact statement becomes part of the offender’s permanent file.  It is a reminder of the harm they caused you.

Victim Impact Statements How To in SPANISH - Cómo escribir una declaración de impacto en la víctima

***Please note, if you are not able to download the VIS samples below, please try a different web browser and/or clear your web history/cache. Thank you.

VIS Assault Example

VIS Vehicular Assault Example

VIS Assault Example - Spanish

VIS Vehicular Assault Example - Spanish

VIS Attempted Homicide Example

If you have any questions or would like help with a Victim Impact Statement please  contact us .

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Writing a Powerful Victim Impact Statement (Free Sample)

Over the years, I’ve written numerous victim impact statements, each one a testament to the resilience and strength of those affected by crime.  Here, I’ll share my comprehensive guide to writing a powerful victim impact statement, complete with templates, tips from my personal experience, real-life examples, and structured lists and tables for clarity.

Victim’s Rights Awareness Quiz

1. Are victims allowed to make a statement during sentencing?

2. Can victims receive information about the offender’s release date?

3. Are victims entitled to be present at the trial?

Your Score: /3

Disclaimer: This quiz is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. For specific legal guidance, please consult a licensed attorney.

Key Takeaways

  • Understanding the Purpose : The primary goal of a victim impact statement is to express the emotional, physical, and financial impact of the crime on the victim and their family.
  • Structure and Content : A well-structured statement includes an introduction, detailed impact description, and a conclusion with the desired outcome.
  • Personal Touch : Sharing personal experiences and emotions makes the statement more compelling.
  • Legal Considerations : Ensure that the statement is respectful and focused on the impact rather than the crime details.
  • Templates and Examples : Utilizing templates can provide a clear framework and help in organizing thoughts effectively.

The Purpose of a Victim Impact Statement

A victim impact statement serves several purposes:

  • Humanizing the Case : It gives a face to the victim and shows the real-life consequences of the crime.
  • Influencing Sentencing : Judges often consider these statements when deciding on the sentence.
  • Emotional Release : It provides a platform for victims to express their emotions and begin the healing process.

Crafting Your Statement

1. introduction.

Start with a brief introduction of yourself and your relationship to the crime. This sets the stage and provides context for the reader.

Example : “My name is Jane Doe, and I am the mother of John Doe, who was tragically taken from us in a senseless act of violence.”

2. Detailed Impact Description

Divide this section into three parts: emotional, physical, and financial impacts. Use specific examples to illustrate your points.

Emotional Impact

Discuss how the crime has affected your mental and emotional well-being.

Example : “Since the incident, I have been struggling with severe anxiety and depression. The nights are the hardest, as sleep eludes me, replaced by recurring nightmares of the event.”

Physical Impact

If applicable, describe any physical injuries or health issues resulting from the crime.

Example : “The physical injuries I sustained have left me with chronic pain. Simple tasks like walking or lifting my children have become excruciatingly difficult.”

Financial Impact

Highlight any financial burdens caused by the crime, such as medical bills, loss of income, or property damage.

Example : “The financial toll has been overwhelming. With medical bills piling up and the inability to work, we are struggling to make ends meet.”

3. Conclusion and Desired Outcome

Conclude with how you hope the court will respond. Be respectful and avoid suggesting specific penalties.

Example : “I hope the court takes into account the profound impact this crime has had on my family. We seek justice, not out of revenge, but to prevent others from enduring similar pain.”

Tips from Personal Experience

1. be honest and authentic.

Your statement should reflect your true feelings. Authenticity resonates more than embellishment.

2. Stay Focused on Impact

While it’s natural to want to describe the crime, focus more on how it has affected you. This keeps the statement relevant and impactful.

3. Use a Support System

Writing about traumatic experiences can be draining. Don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or a counselor.

4. Keep It Respectful

Avoid anger and accusations. A respectful tone is more likely to be taken seriously by the court.

5. Practice Reading It Aloud

Reading your statement aloud can help you refine it and prepare you emotionally for the courtroom.

Templates for Victim Impact Statements

Here are three templates to help you get started. Customize them to fit your personal experiences and feelings.

Template 1: General Impact Statement

Introduction.

“My name is [Your Name], and I am [relationship to the victim/description of your involvement].”

“The emotional toll this crime has taken on me is profound. [Describe specific emotional struggles].”

“As a result of the crime, I have experienced [describe any physical impacts].”

“The financial burden has been significant. [Detail any financial hardships].”

“I respectfully ask the court to consider the impact this crime has had on my life. [State your hopes for the court’s decision].”

Template 2: Impact Statement for Severe Physical Injury

“The emotional impact of this crime has been devastating. [Describe specific emotional struggles].”

“I have suffered severe physical injuries, including [describe injuries and ongoing physical struggles].”

“These injuries have led to substantial financial difficulties, such as [detail financial hardships].”

“I hope the court will consider the severity of my injuries and the ongoing impact on my life. [State your hopes for the court’s decision].”

Template 3: Impact Statement for Loss of a Loved One

“My name is [Your Name], and I am the [relationship] of [Victim’s Name].”

“The emotional void left by [Victim’s Name]’s absence is indescribable. [Describe specific emotional struggles].”

“While the primary impact is emotional, I have also experienced physical symptoms such as [describe any physical impacts].”

“The loss has also brought financial strain, including [detail financial hardships].”

“I ask the court to acknowledge the profound impact of losing [Victim’s Name] and to seek justice that reflects this loss. [State your hopes for the court’s decision].”

Real-Life Example

In one case I worked on, a mother shared how the loss of her son affected her daily life. She described the empty seat at the dinner table, the silence in the house, and the constant heartache. 

Her vivid depiction of everyday moments struck a chord with everyone in the courtroom, making her statement unforgettable.

Lists and Tables for Clarity

Key elements to include in your statement.

ElementDescription
IntroductionBrief introduction of yourself and your connection to the crime.
Emotional ImpactDetailed description of emotional and mental effects.
Physical ImpactInformation on any physical injuries or health issues.
Financial ImpactExplanation of financial burdens caused by the crime.
ConclusionYour hopes for the court’s decision.

Steps to Writing Your Statement

  • Reflect on Your Experience : Take time to think about how the crime has affected you.
  • Draft Your Statement : Use the templates as a starting point.
  • Review and Revise : Ensure your statement is clear and concise.
  • Seek Feedback : Ask someone you trust to review your statement.
  • Practice Reading Aloud : This helps you prepare for delivering it in court.

Final Thoughts

Writing a victim impact statement is a powerful way to convey the real-life consequences of a crime. By sharing your experiences honestly and respectfully, you can help the court understand the full extent of the impact and contribute to the pursuit of justice.

Victim Impact Checklist

  • Describe the physical impact of the crime.
  • Describe the emotional impact of the crime.
  • Detail any financial losses incurred.
  • Describe the impact on daily life and activities.
  • Discuss the impact on relationships.
  • Explain the need for medical or psychological treatment.
  • Provide any supporting documents or evidence.
  • State the desired outcome or sentence for the offender.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Q: what is a victim impact statement.

Answer: A victim impact statement is a written or oral account by a victim or their representative detailing the emotional, physical, and financial effects of a crime. I’ve helped many people express their experiences in these statements, ensuring their voices are heard in court.

Q: Why is a victim impact statement important?

Answer: A victim impact statement is crucial because it humanizes the victim and influences sentencing by showing the real-life consequences of the crime. In my experience, these statements often lead to a more empathetic and informed judicial decision.

Q: How do I start a victim impact statement?

Answer: Begin with a brief introduction of yourself and your relationship to the crime or the victim. From my experience, starting with a personal connection sets the tone and context for the statement.

Q: What should be included in a victim impact statement?

Answer: Include the emotional, physical, and financial impacts of the crime, along with specific examples. Drawing from my experience, this comprehensive approach effectively conveys the depth of the impact to the court.

Q: How long should a victim impact statement be?

Answer: A victim impact statement should be concise yet thorough, typically ranging from one to three pages. From what I’ve seen, focusing on clear and impactful details ensures the statement is powerful and to the point.

Q: Can a victim impact statement influence sentencing?

Answer: Yes, a well-crafted victim impact statement can significantly influence sentencing by providing the court with a deeper understanding of the crime’s impact. In many cases I’ve handled, these statements have led to more just outcomes.

Q: Can someone help me write my victim impact statement?

Answer: Absolutely, seeking help from a trusted friend, family member, or professional can provide valuable support and perspective. I’ve guided many individuals through this process, ensuring their statements are clear and impactful.

Q: When is a victim impact statement presented?

Answer: A victim impact statement is typically presented during the sentencing phase of a trial. Based on my experience, presenting it at this stage helps the court fully grasp the consequences of the crime before deciding on a sentence.

Q: Can I read my victim impact statement in court?

Answer: Yes, you can read your statement aloud in court, which often adds a personal and emotional dimension to your words. I’ve found that this personal delivery can be incredibly powerful and moving for everyone present.

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'I refuse to live my life as a victim of you'

Topic: Crime

the words 'I am strong' written on a mirror

Jane told her rapist that she was stronger than he would ever know. ( ABC News: Carl Saville )

Those were the final words that Jane* delivered to her tormentor in the South Australian District Court in a powerful statement about survival in the face of horrific domestic violence.

Jane has given the ABC permission to tell her story, but for legal reasons the ABC cannot publish her name, or her former partner's.

He was found guilty by a jury earlier this year of raping Jane, and is awaiting sentencing.

During a powerful victim impact statement, she told the court she met her abuser at 19 years of age and was completely charmed.

He was a big dreamer, happy and free.

But after six months, she started to see cracks.

It wasn't long before her world descended into a cycle of abuse that ended with him killing her 12-week-old puppy in front of her two sons.

"The children saw things they should never see," she said in her victim impact statement.

"Your son was so frightened of you, he would flinch in fear as you walked passed.

"I tried to protect them from the violence and the pain. But they did see the violence towards me and the animals and for this, I feel great shame."

Lego and various other toys on a wooden floor

Jane's young children saw the abuse her partner inflicted on her. ( ABC News: Carl Saville )

It is estimated that as many as one in four Australian women — more than 2.1 million in total — have experienced at least one incident of violence from an intimate partner since the age of 15.

Support groups have repeatedly warned of the problem being passed down through generations, as children grow up to imitate their parents.

In Jane's case, she said she was "heartbroken" when one of her sons began verbally abusing her when he was just a toddler.

"Our eldest son saw you disrespect me, and women in general, with your actions and derogative words," she said.

"I felt heartbroken when, at two years of age, he innocently, without knowing the meaning, started to call me c*** instead of mum because he heard you call me that so often, he thought that was my name.

"Our sons witnessed the regular torture and eventual death of our dog at your hands. And you blamed your three-year-old son for your actions."

Jane said over six years, her partner inflicted so many acts of violence that she could not "compress [them] into one statement".

He has denied domestic violence existed within the relationship.

Counsel, representing the man, told the court his client denied Jane's interpretation of their relationship.

"The phenomenon of couples separated, and thereafter having quite divergent views of what the relationship was and how it appeared, is something that is grappled with daily by the family courts — not often the criminal counts," he said.

Abuse was physical, sexual and financial

In hindsight, Jane said she could clearly see the "cycle of violence and control" that she was in but, at the time, had no idea how dangerous her life would become, and how much things would change.

"When we met, I had no idea that you already knew a lot about me, including that I was expecting a large inheritance," she said.

"An inheritance that you drained within nine short months, leaving me with nothing but debt."

two dog bowls on the floor with a woman in the background.

He abused and eventually killed Jane's dog. ( ABC News: Carl Saville )

A common tactic of domestic abusers is to emotionally manipulate their partners, resulting in feelings of isolation and entrapment.

A Personal Safety Survey conducted by the Australian Bureau of Statistics showed that 80 per cent of women who had experienced violence from a current partner had never contacted the police.

Fear of revenge and further violence was the most common reason for remaining silent, according to a study conducted in NSW.

Jane said her partner isolated her from family and friends, ensuring he was her only support and described him as "coercive, manipulative and controlling".

"You physically, sexually, emotionally and financially abused me when I had nowhere to go," she said.

"Within 12 months of meeting you, I was sleeping in a car — I was no longer independent or able to return home as my parents didn't like you.

"I became completely dependent on you in every way and couldn't make the simplest of decisions without your approval. You put down steady roots of control long before you showed any signs of violence towards me.

"You did this so I would accept this as normal, so I wouldn't leave you when you explained that it was somehow my fault and somehow justified for you to harm me in this way."

'I was just so broken'

According to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, one woman is killed every nine days — and one man every 29 days — by a partner.

Seventeen adults are hospitalised every day because of an assault by a partner or family member, recent data suggests.

Jane told the court that her former partner had two faces.

"There was the [man] who had a casualness to his attitude during the violence — it was systematic, you were angry when you hit me but your anger was controlled, you harmed me in places no one could see," she said.

"You seemed to have complete control of your actions.

"A purposeful behaviour with a slow escalation of systematic abuse and by the time our relationship ended, it was so common I learnt not to react and simply accept it."

A woman shielding her face

The abuse was physical, sexual, emotional and financial. ( ABC News: Carl Saville )

Jane said the other side of him exhibited complete coldness and lack of empathy "with eyes that turned black and emotionless".

"Your entire demeanour changed by putting me through your torturous routine until a level that terrified me," she said.

"It was then that you would take what you wanted from me.

"Sexual abuse which came at a point where I was just so broken — I had to be just the right amount of broken. I felt helpless and couldn't protect myself, I was barely able to protect my children. I couldn't protect my puppies.

"You made sure the only person in the world I could turn to was you. You were so convincing, you made me question my own mind — that I was crazy or being dramatic or that you had no choice but to harm me because I was being annoying.

Flowers in a vase with a woman standing in the background

Jane said he was charming at first, before the abuse began. ( ABC News: Carl Saville )

"You abused me and that was my fault. And I believed you.

"It's hard to comprehend who I was back then, I wish I knew back then what I know now."

Leaving was the 'best thing'

She said the final decision to pack up and move herself and their two sons into a safehouse was "frightening, unfamiliar and scary".

"The emotional scars you left on our children are irreparable. They will carry the impact of your actions for the rest of their lives," she said.

"I felt helpless and great guilt that I was unable to find the strength to remove my children and pets from this toxic environment sooner than I did."

According to a recent study, a growing number of women are losing their children to child protection because of housing shortages that force them to stay in abusive relationships.

Other data shows that, across Australia, 26,500 children below the age of 10 required the assistance of homelessness services because of domestic violence during 2017-18.

In Jane's case, however, she said leaving was the "best thing" she ever did.

A woman sitting down in an empty room

Jane was living in her car at one point. ( ABC News: Carl Saville )

"I shudder to think what would have happened if the children had continued to grow up around your abusive behaviour, your violence and animal cruelty," she said.

"I am strong and independent and I have built a wonderful life for me and my children. They have a safe and stable home with friends and family supporting us, we finally have happiness and normality.

"I refuse to live my life as a victim of you — I have worked hard to rebuild myself and I am now, so far from the girl you broke.

"I give you my words here today, I give you my pain, I give you my flashbacks, panic attacks — they are yours now.

"I walk away from this courtroom, leaving the darkness with you. I am stronger than you will ever know and you can never take that from me."

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CIVIL AND MISDEMEANORS

How to write a letter on domestic violence.

By Claire Gillespie, J.D.

December 14, 2018

Reviewed by Michelle Seidel, B.Sc., LL.B., MBA

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victim personal statement domestic violence examples

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You may have read powerful open letters on domestic violence online or in magazines. These help increase awareness about domestic violence and encourage more victims to seek help. However, domestic violence letters are used every day in a much more private context: to provide information in criminal court proceedings. A domestic violence letter to a judge is also known as a victim impact statement.

What is a Domestic Violence Letter?

A domestic violence letter or victim impact statement is not a requirement for domestic violence court cases, but every victim has the right to provide one, and it can help to show the sentencing judge how the domestic violence has affected you and your loved ones. You may read the letter out loud in court, if you wish.

The letter should be written in simple language in order to help the people in the courtroom understand what you have gone through, but it should also be written using descriptive words and phrases to help others identify with your experience.

You should address the judge when you speak, or if you wish to address your attacker directly, you can seek permission from the judge to do so.

Domestic Violence Letter Format

While there's no set format for a letter on domestic violence, it may be easier to write if you follow a particular layout. Begin your letter with an introduction, giving your name, occupation or education status and brief details of your past/present relationship with the defendant. For example, you may say that you have been married to the defendant since 2010, have been separated since 2016 and have two children together. However, do not provide personal identifying information such as your physical address, mailing address, email address or phone number, to protect yourself from your attacker.

The next section should provide details of specific instances of domestic violence, including the type of abuse (for example, kicking, punching, derogatory names, destruction of personal property and withholding finances). This section should also reveal the effect of the defendant's behavior on you, for example, it made you fear for your life and has caused you hurt and pain.

If you have children, you should also explain how the defendant's behavior has affected them. For example, perhaps your children don't want to go to sleep at night, have nightmares or struggle to concentrate at school.

You may also state what you are seeking from the court, for example, restitution and/or a no-contact order. Read More: Is Domestic Violence a Felony?

Sample Domestic Violence Letter

You can find many examples of a sample complaint letter for domestic violence online, such as this letter from Victim Support Services:

"Every morning when I wake up, I have to remind myself that my attacker won’t be able to hurt me today. If I don’t tell myself that I simply can’t get out of bed. Since I was assaulted I have lost the full function of my right leg. I still have to go to the doctor for physical therapy and they fear that I still won’t be able to walk the same. I used to love to run, until my attacker took that away from me. It hurts emotionally and physically to even make it to work in the morning. When I drive past the place that this all happened I try not to shake in fear. I can’t sleep most nights without nightmares of my attacker. I so desperately want my life back. The life I had before he took my life away."

A letter on domestic violence typically includes some personal information (name, occupation and employment status), a detailed history of the domestic violence, how the domestic violence has affected you and your children (if applicable) and what order you are seeking from the court.

  • Victim Support Services: What is a Victim Impact Statement?
  • You have the right to speak at the sentencing hearing but it is not a requirement.
  • You can find sample domestic violence letters provided in the link below.
  • The defense attorney may attempt to contact you; you do not have to speak to him.

Claire is a qualified lawyer and specialized in family law before becoming a full-time writer. She has written for many digital publications, including The Washington Post, Forbes, Vice and HealthCentral.

Related Articles

  • How to Write a Victim Empathy Letter
  • How to Write a Letter of Confession
  • How to Write a Victim Impact Statement

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Sample Victim Impact Statements

On November 10, 2007 Jay Dooley beat me. He slammed my back over the top of my chain link fence over and over and pulled my hair forcing my neck as far back as he could. He turned me around and started slamming me into my fence hitting my chest against the fence. He punched me in the neck, chest, and abdomen. He kept threatening to punch me in the face. He tried to break my arm. I begged him to stop while trying to protect my face. He slammed me face first into the side of my house and tried to pull my pants down, grabbing me and bruising my inner thighs.

Your Honor,

In the interest of the court, I want to state briefly the effects that the criminal actions of Rosemary Catherine Davis have had on me.

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