wedding speech groom indonesia

14 Indonesian Wedding Traditions and Rituals

Indonesian wedding traditions and rituals are highly complicated and specific. Indonesia is an island nation comprised of over 17,000 tiny islands with more than 300 different ethnic groups .

Because of the varying cultures, not all Indonesian weddings feature the same traditions, but some expectations do overlap.

While the rules surrounding gifts, attendance, and alcohol are usually the same, more specific rituals vary wildly across the country.

1. Extravagant Invitations

Indonesian wedding invitations are extravagant and flashy, especially from brides and grooms in urban areas of the nation . They often have long notes from the couple and their families expressing how much it would mean to them if the invitee attended the wedding.

Sometimes the wedding ceremony and reception have different dates, and most people will not attend. The invitation is typically for the reception itself, not the lengthy ceremony and exchanging of vows.

While families in rural areas  with less money will verbally invite people, it’s still a meaningful action.  The couple or family members will visit people’s homes and personally invite them , expressing what an honor it would be if they joined in on the celebration.

Even without a physical invitation, being invited to an Indonesian wedding is significant.

2. Plus Ones Welcome

Despite the extravagant and intricate wedding invitations, the couple usually welcomes anyone who wants to join the festivities. When someone receives a wedding invitation, it’s implied they can bring a plus one, such as a romantic partner or friend.

However, the plus one invitation goes beyond this. You can bring a group of friends to a wedding if you want , and you can tag along with friends, even if you didn’t receive an invitation. Indonesian weddings do not typically have per-person meals but offer a massive buffet.

So bringing extra people won’t insult the bride and groom, and they’ll likely welcome your friends or family. Many Indonesian families will even be disappointed or hurt if there is a lot of food left over from the ceremony, indicating a lack of guests or that guests did not enjoy the food.

3. Cash Gifts

Cash, please! Most Western weddings include a gift registry, where guests can purchase items for the new couple that they requested. But because Indonesian couples welcome so many guests, the sheer mass of the presents can be overwhelming.

Traditionally, Indonesian wedding guests would bring dazzling flower arrangements to bless the bride and groom . But the floral gifts were often a way to show one’s wealth, so they could be enormous and take up a ton of space at the wedding and later in the bride and groom’s home.

So it became the norm for Indonesian couples to ask their guests not to bring gifts or floral arrangements. While it may sound like they’re passing on the gifts, there’s a subtext implying they would prefer monetary presents, like cash or checks.

If you’re unsure what to give,  the average gift is between 300,000 and 500,000 rupees.  In reality, Indonesian couples care more about your attendance than whether or not you present them with a gift.

4. No Thank You Cards

Even if you give a generous and hefty cash gift, don’t expect to receive a thank you card. Some Indonesian families will keep track of who gave what, but they rarely send thank you cards, unless it was an insane amount of money.

Instead of thank you cards following the wedding, couples give wedding favors at the beginning of the reception . The wedding favors can be small fans, key chains, or handkerchiefs.

These wedding favors will have a small thank you attached from the couple, showing their appreciation for your attendance.

5. Grand Entrance

At the beginning of the wedding ceremony, Indonesian couples go all out. The simple entrance of the bride and groom, which occur separately, can take quite some time. Along with a slow and dramatic entrance , many speeches and readings happen during this time too.

While most Western weddings simply have the officiant begin, Indonesian weddings feature long speeches from family members, friends, or elders in the community. The beginning of the ceremony can take hours, so many guests will skip this.

It’s not rude or disprespectful to skip the long ceremony, and people often arrive an hour or less before the reception begins.

6. Dry Weddings

Most Indonesian people are Muslim. Therefore, they abstain from alcohol and other substances. Most Indonesian weddings are completely dry,  meaning there is no alcohol. An Indonesian wedding featuring alcohol of any kind is highly unusual.

Some modern Indonesian couples who do not follow the Muslim faith may have alcohol, but in these cases, most Indonesian elders would frown upon this and view it as disrespectful.

7. Lots of Planning

Indonesian wedding planning is not casual. Both families and the couple must agree on every aspect of the wedding, beginning with the wedding date.

From the moment the couple agrees to the marriage, the planning begins. The planning comes early because many Indonesian cultures have complex rituals to arrange . Some of these rituals are discussed below in detail.

8. Pre-Wedding Rituals

Indonesian weddings stretch beyond just the day of the wedding ceremony. Like the three-day celebration, traditional in Javanese weddings, other Indonesian cultures and religions have wedding traditions and rituals that occur long before and long after the ceremony.

Not all of these rituals will occur at every wedding. It depends on the religion of the couple and their family. Below are some Indonesian wedding traditions and rituals that can differ across the nation.

Sinamot is a wedding ritual in the Batak Indonesian culture. This ritual is a marriage procession where the bride and groom’s family determine the dowry amount for the bride.

The dowry amount will depend heavily on the couple’s social status,  education level, and career. Women with higher social standings and education will get valued with a higher dowry.

The groom’s education level and social status also determine how well he can support his wife and future family. This ceremony is not just about one family giving money to the other. Instead, the ceremony focuses on creating a foundation for a prosperous marriage.

The ceremony can help couples avoid failures and divorces by logically assessing and planning for their financial future.

10. Minangkabau

The Minangkabau tradition is when the bride proposes marriage to the groom rather than the other way around. This tradition has several steps, beginning with the bride visiting the groom’s family and getting permission from her own family.

The two families then exchange heirlooms, showing their agreement on the marriage. These heirlooms act almost like engagement rings. Throughout the engagement, both families bring various gifts like fruits and beverages.

11. Nyantri

Completely different from the Pingitan tradition, Nyantri requires the groom to live in the bride’s home for a few days before the wedding.

The traditions stem from ancient arranged marriages, allowing the couple to become familiar before the ceremony.

Nyantri Today

Modern couples and Indonesian families modified this tradition. Instead of the groom staying in the bride’s home, he spends as much time with her as possible. For this, he may live in her neighbor’s home or close relative rather than staying with her.

Lombok is a ritual that originated in Indonesia’s Sasak tribe. It requires the groom to kidnap his bride the night before the wedding.

The tradition is complex and intense– so much so that the authorities occasionally become involved. And if authorities catch the groom in the act, he may have to pay a fine.

An Old Tradition

The tradition stems from elopement, despite most couples having permission from their families. The closure of this ritual varies, but usually, the bride’s parents realize she is gone and report the kidnapping.

Once this happens, the groom visits them to discuss the marriage. Some modern couples play with this tradition, but it’s falling out of fashion.

13. Pingitan

This tradition involves the seclusion of the bride before the wedding. The duration of seclusion changes, but it’s often 24 to 48 hours before the wedding.

During this time, the bride is not allowed to leave her home, and no one can visit her unless they are family or in her wedding party. The idea is to keep the bride safe before the wedding while also causing the groom to yearn for his bride more.

Preparation

Brides also use this time in seclusion to prepare themselves physically for the wedding. They may fast, perform spa treatments, drink herbal beverages, and spend time with close family before the wedding.

Nowadays, this seclusion isn’t too long. But once upon a time, Indonesian brides had to seclude themselves for as long as two months!

14. Siraman

One of the most common wedding rituals is the beautiful Siraman ceremony . For this ritual, the groom’s parents shower the couple with flowery water to bless them and offer them love and peace.

It also symbolizes the last time they will be bathed by their parents before beginning their own life as a married couple. The water usually includes rose petals and jasmine flowers. This meaningful ritual occurs a day or two before the wedding.

Related posts:

Ultimate Guide to Indonesian Weddings – 13+ Essentials You’ll Love

Indonesian weddings are a rich tapestry of cultural diversity and vibrant traditions. With such a vast and diverse country, each region and ethnic group has its unique wedding customs and rituals, adding to the beauty and complexity of Indonesian weddings.

By delving into the customs and traditions of Indonesian weddings, you’ll gain a deeper appreciation for the country’s cultural heritage and the significance of each ritual. Whether you’re attending a wedding as a guest or planning your own Indonesian-inspired celebration, this ultimate guide will equip you with essential knowledge and insights to ensure an unforgettable experience.

We offer advice on managing typical traditions as well as a summary of traditional Indonesian weddings for each major culture if you’re attending a friend’s big day in these culturally diverse regions.

Maintaining the country’s wedding customs can be challenging, given that Indonesia is made up of 17,000 islands, has six recognized religions and is home to over 300 ethnic groups. You’ll be in for a treat once you understand what you’re getting into!

General Etiquette

The maxim “the more, the merrier” is undoubtedly adhered to by Indonesians when it comes to invitations and plus-ones. It is permitted to bring people who were not specifically invited to the wedding or to go with friends who have been invited unless otherwise stated.

It’s typical to get an invitation mere days before the wedding, despite the fact that couples do strive to offer proper notice before their big day. Receiving an invitation verbally or even over SMS or email, is also common. Do not be scared or think that your presence is unimportant.

The Wedding Engagements

Engagements in Indonesian weddings are traditionally celebrated with a “majlis bersanding” or betrothal ceremony. This is an important celebration in the lead-up to the wedding, where the family of the bride and groom come together to formalize the engagement. The bride and groom exchange rings in a symbolic gesture, and their families exchange gifts and tokens of love.

The engagement ceremony is usually celebrated with a special feast, complete with traditional Indonesian dishes such as rendang and satay. After the feast, guests are usually treated to a cultural performance such as a Javanese wayang kulit puppet show or an energetic Joget dance. 

In recent years, however, many couples have opted for more modern engagement ceremonies, such as private dinners or even beach parties. Regardless of the style chosen, the engagement ceremony is always a joyous affair and marks the start of a new life for the couple.

Indonesian Wedding Ceremony

Attending a Javanese wedding is a fantastic method to become acquainted with the culture of the country since Javanese people make up the ethnic majority (56 percent of Indonesia’s population). A formal meeting and consent between the couple’s families are required before a wedding in Java. The planning starts when they’ve all agreed on a date, settled on a budget and assigned jobs to one another.

The Siraman, a lovely and moving ritual when the parents of the bride and groom are showered with a mixture of water and flowers, kicks off the three-day celebration. This acts as a remembrance of how they were raised and symbolizes the last time their parents gave them a wash.

After the Siraman, the bride is allocated to a chamber and costumed like a princess, where she spends the entire night with female relatives, occasionally including those from the groom’s side. The groom will wait outside her house in the interim, signifying that he will be a devoted and patient spouse for the duration of their marriage. The Siraman is often reserved for family members, although visitors are welcome to join in on the touching tradition.

The civil wedding takes place on day two, and everyone in attendance joins in the celebrations. An official will legalize the union in accordance with the couple’s faith when they sign their wedding paperwork. The pair then engages in a number of rites, including tossing betel nut leaves at one another to fend off bad spirits, after completing the papers. Finally, they ask their parents and other senior citizens for blessings.

The couple should eat together for the first time as a married couple following this, which is typically followed by a reception. At this time, guests are welcome to eat and they are free to depart after the refreshments. People frequently arrive between 30 minutes to an hour before the reception to avoid the ceremony and instead visit the newlyweds one at a time while they are eating. During the mixing, families frequently plan traditional entertainment.

Check out these other popular wedding traditions & customs:

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Weddings in Sundanese

The Sundanese are from Java as well, although they are primarily from the western side of the island. They and Javanese vary greatly in that the majority of them adhere to Sharia cultural and religious customs.

Despite the fact that the Siraman is not a customary Syariah ritual, Sundanese people nevertheless carry it out. A scarf is placed over the heads of the bride and groom at the Ahad Nikah or marriage, to represent the joining of their thoughts. The couple also receives blessings from their elders after the official wedding.

Then, unmarried visitors are “showered” with cash, presents, turmeric rice and sweets for good luck while protected by an umbrella. The pair then plays a series of activities designed to educate them on how to coexist peacefully. The couple is then fed by their parents, which denotes the final occasion when they are protected by their care.

Following the customary solemnization, there is a reception where visitors can individually congratulate the newlyweds.

Balinese Nuptials

Balinese people are mostly Hindu, a religion that combines Hinduism, Buddhism and Animism. The three marriage rites performed by the Balinese are spectacular and follow the style of the Hindu epics.

The first is referred to as an elopement or ngerorod. The bride is “kidnapped” from her parent’s home and taken to a pre-planned location while acting upset. The bride’s family will organize a phony search team that, after looking in all the wrong places, will be unable to locate the bride. The bride and groom will begin living as husband and wife while committing rites to the gods.

Both of their families will get together in a few days to decide on a price for the bride. They will then have the appropriate celebrations as they are already regarded as wedded by the gods. The ngerorod is a less luxurious but more affordable alternative.

The second method, known as mapadik, is more in line with other Indonesian wedding rituals, which are just as beautiful in Java. This time, the man has to formally propose to the bride. The bride and groom will have wedding prayers at a temple led by a priest and once permission is granted, they are officially married. Following that, guests can participate in the formal dance, music and cuisine that are often organized by the groom.

For households without males, there is a third ceremony when a son is given to the bride’s family in place of a daughter. Another more affordable choice is a priest who blesses the bride and groom in a short ceremony.

Guests must wear sarongs, waist scarves and tops that cover their shoulders and upper arms because most ceremonies take place in temples.

Indonesian Chinese weddings

Over the Indonesian archipelago, there exists a sizable number of Chinese Indonesians who are mostly Catholic or Protestant. Even if their rituals are quite different from the ones that are customary in Indonesia, they nonetheless have an Asian appeal.

The groom is invited by the bride’s family to her house for a tea ceremony on the morning of the wedding. Everyone then makes their way to the church for the wedding after this small, private party. The ceremony is conducted in Bahasa, Indonesia. However, it is fairly similar to other Protestant or Catholic rituals.

The event, which is staged on a huge scale and resembles western weddings, can welcome more than 1,000 people. The bride and groom will likely be holding court on stage as guests take turns congratulating them. There will also be meals and dancing.

Ask your host if you are invited to both events and just the reception because the church ceremony is often much more private than the reception.

Indonesian Wedding Attire

Formal, traditional attire is advised for the majority of Indonesians’ weddings. Expect some awesomely dressed guests and an even more opulent bride and groom since Indonesians adore an excuse to dress up. The majority of ladies will wear sarongs and kebayas (any style is fine), but formal attire with Indonesian influences or a Western dress will also fit in.

It is not necessary for women to cover their hair. Although it is always advisable to wear clothing that covers your shoulders and upper legs, you can wing it depending on the family and the occasion. For a banquet event, you could see Indonesian women wearing elegant cocktail dresses or a very stylish woman wearing a crop top with a sarong knotted high at the waist.

Gifts are recommended but not necessary. Since there isn’t often a bridal register for Indonesian couples, cash is the preferred present. Depending on the couple’s socioeconomic situation, the amount might vary greatly, but a safe bet is to give between Rp. 300,000 and Rp. 500,000. Your name will be listed next to the relevant number in the guest book if you are requested to put your cash donation in a numbered envelope. Wedding favors are frequently presented in place of thank-you notes, even though it’s typical for the couple’s family to keep track of who receives what.

The Alcohol at Indonesian weddings

Alcohol is often not provided at weddings since most Indonesians are Muslims and traditional rituals are highly somber. However, alcohol is frequently served during Chinese-Indonesian reception meals and celebrations, which are hosted the day following weddings.

The Indonesian Food

Indonesian weddings are known for their delicious and varied cuisines, making them a feast to remember. The traditional dish served is called Nasi Padang, a spiced coconut rice with a variety of side dishes such as fried chicken, beef rendang, sambal, eggs and vegetables. Another popular dish is Soto Ayam, a spicy chicken soup. Vegetarian dishes such as Gado-Gado and Sayur Lodeh are also usually served.

Indonesians often love to indulge in local delicacies such as Bakso, a savory meatball soup and Martabak, a fried flatbread filled with savory fillings. Of course, no wedding is complete without dessert. Indonesian desserts are typically a mix of traditional and western-style treats, such as Lapis Legit, Kue Lapis, Es Campur and Crepes. Drinks such as Arak, beer and Teh Botol are also common at an Indonesian wedding.

The Wedding Guests

The guests at an Indonesian wedding are usually family and close friends of the couple. Most weddings will feature a procession of family members from both the bride’s and the groom’s side, known as a sebondong. During this processional, the couple will greet each guest with flowers and handshakes. It is also customary for the guests to give gifts of money or traditional items such as jewelry or clothing to the couple.

Guests are encouraged to dress in traditional clothes, as well as take part in any cultural dances or ceremonies that may be held at the wedding. It is important to be respectful and polite throughout the ceremony and guests should expect to eat and drink a lot. At the end of the wedding, it is customary for all of the guests to line up to congratulate and wish the couple well in their new life together.

The Wedding Reception

In Indonesia, the wedding reception is usually a huge celebration that involves lots of food and drinks, dancing and a lot of family and friends. After the ceremony, the guests move to a large open area or hall to celebrate the union of the couple. 

At the reception, guests are welcomed with food and beverages. Indonesian cuisine varies widely between regions, so you can expect to find a variety of dishes served at the reception. This could include traditional dishes like nasi goreng (fried rice) and satay (grilled meat skewers). In addition to food, there is usually a buffet of snacks, cakes and desserts available throughout the evening.

After the meal, music and dancing is an essential part of the reception. Traditional Indonesian music is usually played and guests can show off their moves on the dance floor. During the reception, guests may also present gifts for the newly married couple.

The wedding reception often lasts for several hours, giving guests plenty of time to mingle and celebrate the newlyweds. At the end of the reception, the newly married couple is bid farewell by all of their guests. As they leave, they are showered with well-wishes and cheers. 

Indonesian wedding receptions are full of joy and are always fun for everyone involved. With lots of delicious food, dancing and celebrating, they make for a truly special occasion that will be remembered for years to come.

Music and Dance Customs

Music and dance are integral parts of an Indonesian wedding. From traditional dances to modern songs, music is used to celebrate the union of two people in love. During the ceremony, guests may be treated to live performances from local bands. Guests will also be invited to join in on traditional Indonesian dance moves.

Traditional Javanese musical ensembles called gamelan often provide accompaniment for wedding ceremonies. Gamelan orchestras feature a range of instruments, including metallophones, xylophones, drums and gongs. It is said that each instrument has its own unique character and when played together, the combination of tones creates a powerful and beautiful sound.

Another popular form of traditional Indonesian dance at weddings is Jaipongan. It’s a combination of traditional and modern rhythms and features dancers in brightly colored costumes. The dance originated in West Java but is now widely performed throughout Indonesia.

The ‘kuda kepang’ or ‘horse dance’ is another traditional Indonesian dance often seen at weddings. The dancers take the shape of horses and the performance usually begins with a ceremonial parade and ends with a display of various acrobatic maneuvers.

No matter what style of music or dance is chosen, it adds to the joyous atmosphere of an Indonesian wedding and adds to the overall experience for the guests.

One of the most exciting aspects of an Indonesian wedding is the honeymoon! Couples typically spend the first few days of their marriage on a romantic vacation. Many popular honeymoon destinations in Indonesia include Bali, Lombok and Jakarta.

When selecting a honeymoon destination, couples must consider budget, time, activities and interests. Bali is well known for its stunning beaches and beautiful natural scenery. Lombok is also known for its beaches but is more secluded and less crowded. Jakarta is a bustling city with many shops and cultural attractions. 

No matter what destination you choose, an Indonesian honeymoon promises to be an unforgettable experience for newlyweds. Local travel agencies can provide assistance in booking accommodations, sightseeing trips and transfers. Hotels in each location offer special packages for couples looking for a romantic retreat. 

Before heading off on their honeymoon, couples should make sure they have all the necessary documents, like visas and passports. For those who are staying in Indonesia, they must obtain a marriage certificate from their local government office. It is also important to book travel insurance in case of any unexpected events or mishaps during the trip. 

From luxurious spa packages to unique cultural experiences, an Indonesian honeymoon has something for everyone! With careful planning and preparation, couples can create an unforgettable honeymoon filled with memories to last a lifetime.

Indonesian weddings are unique and beautiful events that bring families together to celebrate the love between two people. They have many interesting customs, traditions and rituals that will make your wedding day a memorable one. From the traditional engagement ceremony to the colorful clothing and music, the customs of an Indonesian wedding are something you won’t soon forget.

Planning an Indonesian wedding can be daunting, but with a little research and knowledge, you can ensure that your big day goes as smoothly as possible. Hopefully, this guide has given you all the information you need to know about Indonesian weddings and set you on the right path to having a successful and memorable event.

Serena & Dominic are a married couple and parents to 3 wonderful children. They plan weddings, run multiple small businesses, and curate wedding events.

By giving you everything you need to make your dream wedding attainable, you can eliminate stress, get the ‘wedding glow,’ and focus on spending this rocking day with the person you adore. Discover their podcast for more information

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Ketahui tentang Wedding Toast dan Cara Menulis Wedding Speech yang Tepat

Wedding speech atau pidato pernikahan adalah momen di mana anggota keluarga, sahabat dekat, maupun pengiring pengantin memberikan kata sambutan terbaik mereka kepada tamu undangan yang hadir saat upacara pernikahan ataupun resepsi. Walaupun pidato pernikahan ini umumnya disampaikan oleh perwakilan dari orang-orang terdekat kedua mempelai, bukan berarti sang tokoh utama tidak bisa ikut menciptakan sentuhan yang berbeda di hari bahagia mereka. Pasalnya, saat ini wedding speech sendiri kerap menjadi momen yang cukup krusial bagi pasangan pengantin yang ingin menyampaikan rasa terima kasih mereka terhadap orang-orang terkasih di sekitarnya.

Selama dua tahun terakhir, konsep pernikahan intimate tengah kembali menjadi tren dari berbagai kalangan. Selain karena adanya pandemi Covid-19, banyak calon pengantin yang memang lebih menyukai hari bahagia mereka dapat diwujudkan dalam skala kecil. Tujuannya adalah semata-mata agar pengucapan ikrar suci dapat terasa lebih sakral. Mau tidak mau, hal ini mengharuskan kedua mempelai untuk bisa membangun atmosfer yang menyenangkan. Momen wedding speech pun digadang-gadang sebagai ujung tombak yang akan membuat suasana semakin akrab sekaligus lebih personalized .

Tentu saja, Anda ingin menyia-nyiakan kesempatan ini, bukan? Jadi, perhatikan tips menulis wedding speech berikut ini untuk membuatnya lebih bermakna.

TIPS MENULIS WEDDING SPEECH YANG IDEAL

• Tulislah Apa Saja yang Ingin Anda Sampaikan dari Hati Anda Untuk membuatnya lebih mudah, temukan secarik kertas dan sebuah pulpen. Pastikan Anda telah menemukan tempat ternyaman untuk mencurahkan seluruh hati Anda. Kemudian, cobalah untuk memikirkan bagaimana perjalanan hidup Anda dari kecil hingga dewasa kini. Seperti apa lika-liku yang sudah Anda alami, pencapaian apa saja yang pernah Anda raih, hingga siapa saja orang-orang yang selalu berjasa di balik kesuksesan Anda selama proses jatuh bangun tersebut berlangsung. Hal ini akan memudahkan Anda untuk menyampaikan wedding speech sesuai dengan ketulusan hati Anda.
• Haturkan Rasa Terima Kasih Terhadap Tamu yang Hadir Sudah menentukan poin-poin apa saja yang ingin Anda kemukakan? Sekarang, saatnya menulis kata sambutan kepada para tamu undangan yang telah bersedia hadir di hari bahagia Anda. Sebagai pasangan pengantin, tentu saja Anda perlu mengucapkan sepatah atau dua patah kata kepada mereka sebagai bentuk apresiasi, bukan? Jadi, sampaikan betapa berharganya arti kehadiran mereka semua di momen spesial yang telah Anda nantikan seumur hidup ini. Pihak orang tua dari kedua mempelai pun dapat menyampaikan pidato singkat mereka sebagai tuan rumah acara.
• Ceritakan tentang Perjalanan Cinta Anda bersama Pasangan Ini akan menjadi bagian yang paling ditunggu-tunggu bagi orang-orang di sekitar Anda. Tentu saja Anda masih dapat menyampaikannya secara singkat. Anda bisa memulainya dengan poin-poin penting, seperti kapan tepatnya Anda pertama kali bertemu dengan pasangan, bagaimana kalian berdua menjadi teman dekat, hingga kapan Anda akhirnya memutuskan untuk menjalin hubungan dengannya. Ceritakan juga momen-momen bahagia dan tak terlupakan yang pernah kalian ukir bersama-sama. Terakhir, ungkapkan rasa terima kasih Anda kepada pasangan serta betapa berartinya fase baru hubungan ini untuk kehidupan rumah tangga Anda depannya.
• Ungkapan Terima Kasih untuk Keluarga dan Kerabat Dekat Orang tua tentunya menduduki tempat teristimewa dalam hidup Anda, bukan? Tak ada satu pun yang dapat menggantikan jasa-jasa mereka dalam membesarkan Anda dari kecil hingga saat ini. Jadi, jangan lupa untuk mengungkapkan rasa terima kasih secara tulus kepada mereka. Tidak hanya orang tua saja, Anda juga bisa menyampaikan ucapan terima kasih kepada keluarga besar, seperti ibu dan ayah mertua, kerabat dekat, bridesmaid dan groomsmen , hingga anggota keluarga lainnya yang telah membantu mewujudkan hari bahagia Anda.
• Usahakan agar Tidak Terlalu Panjang dan Lakukan Latihan Ada baiknya wedding speech tidak memakan waktu yang terlalu lama, mengingat masih banyak rundown acara yang harus Anda lakukan setelahnya. Menurut para ahli, 5 menit adalah waktu yang paling maksimal dan dinilai ideal untuk sebuah pidato pernikahan. Jika Anda telah selesai menulis wedding speech Anda, cobalah berlatih secara berkala. Nyalakan timer sedemikian rupa selama Anda mengucapkan seluruh kalimat yang ada pada kertas. Kemudian, bacalah dengan perlahan, beri jeda di waktu yang tepat, atur pandangan ke depan, dan berusahalah untuk tersenyum. Sesi latihan ini juga memungkinkan Anda untuk memastikan segalanya berjalan dengan lancar.
• Hindari Lelucon yang Menyinggung Pastikan orang-orang yang akan menyumbang pidato tidak melontarkan lelucon yang kurang pantas. Hindari membicarakan hal yang berpotensi menimbulkan kesan negatif di mata banyak orang. Contohnya, seperti berbagi kisah memalukan bersama pasangan ataupun kisah cinta yang telah lalu. Kecuali, bila Anda dan pasangan memang telah melakukan kesepakatan sebelumnya untuk menyajikan kisah yang dapat menghibur para tamu.

KAPAN WEDDING SPEECH DIBERIKAN?

Sebenarnya, tidak ada waktu spesifik kapan pidato pernikahan harus dilakukan, apakah itu pada saat upacara pernikahan ataupun resepsi. Namun, ada baiknya Anda dan pihak wedding organizer melakukan kesepakatan terlebih dahulu demi menyesuaikan dengan rundown acara. Berikan konfirmasi tentang siapa yang akan memberikan pidato sambutan pernikahan. Setelah itu, Anda dapat memilih untuk meletakkan sesi wedding speech sebelum dimulainya sumpah pernikahan. Tentu semuanya tergantung pada preferensi Anda. Atau, Anda juga bisa menaruh sesi pidato sambutan tepat sebelum first dance dilakukan.

APAKAH YANG DIMAKSUD DENGAN WEDDING TOAST ?

Setelah kata sambutan selesai dilakukan, sesi yang satu ini menjadi hal yang paling ditunggu-tunggu. Wedding toast adalah momen bersulang yang menandakan bahwa keluarga, kerabat, dan para tamu undangan juga ikut mendoakan kedua mempelai dalam mengarungi bahtera rumah tangganya. Dalam tradisi pernikahan barat, umumnya orang yang memimpin wedding toast adalah pengiring pengantin pria yang berstatus sebagai sahabat terbaiknya. Namun, akhir-akhir ini, momen bersulang justru banyak dipimpin secara langsung oleh seorang MC pernikahan.

Saat momen wedding toast , kedua mempelai akan diminta untuk menuangkan sebotol minuman ke dalam gelas-gelas yang telah disusun menyerupai bentuk piramida hingga habis. Selanjutnya, keluarga inti dari pengantin akan dipersilahkan untuk naik ke atas panggung guna menyemarakkan sesi bersulang. Setelah seluruh anggota keluarga inti memegang gelas, perwakilan dari kerabat akan menyampaikan sepatah dua patah kata sebelum akhirnya bersulang diiringi alunan musik. Dalam sesi wedding toast juga terdapat beberapa peraturan penting yang perlu menjadi perhatian. Lihatlah pedoman berikut ini.

TIPS DASAR DALAM MEMBERIKAN WEDDING TOAST

• Perkenalkan diri Anda Sebagai seseorang yang ditunjuk untuk memberikan speech sebelum wedding toast , jelaskan secara singkat siapakah diri Anda serta bagaimana hubungan Anda dengan kedua mempelai yang berbahagia. Pastikan seluruh kalimat Anda dapat menjelaskan secara detail mengapa akhirnya Anda yang pantas dipilih untuk berbicara dan pemimpin wedding toast .
• Ucapkan Rasa Terima Kasih Bila Anda adalah seorang kerabat dari kedua mempelai, kami menyarankan kepada Anda untuk memberikan ucapan terima kasih kepada sang tuan rumah terlebih dahulu. Kemudian, lanjutkan dengan menyapa seluruh tamu undangan yang bersedia hadir di hari bahagia sang pengantin. Ucapkan rasa terima kasih atas seluruh cinta, do'a, dan dukungan yang telah mereka berikan.
• Bagikan tentang Kisah Pertemanan Anda bersama Kedua Mempelai Anda tentu saja dapat membicarakan tentang kedekatan Anda dengan pasangan pengantin, seperti bagaimana awal pertemuan Anda dengan mereka, seperti apa karakter mereka berdua, hingga faktor apa saja yang membuat keduanya cocok untuk dipersatukan ke dalam ikatan pernikahan.
• Sampaikan Doa dan Harapan Terakhir, jangan lupa untuk menyampaikan susunan do'a dan harapan Anda bagi keutuhan rumah tangga keduanya. Saran apa pun dapat menjadi sesuatu yang berharga untuk didengar. Jadi, pikirkan baik-baik tentang hal ini. Setelah semuanya selesai, Anda bisa mulai mengangkat gelas minuman untuk bersulang kepada sang pasangan pengantin.

Vendor yang mungkin anda suka

Ikuti akun Instagram @thebridestory untuk beragam inspirasi pernikahan

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Home » Practical Information » Indonesian Customs and Culture » Weddings

Indonesian Wedding Ceremonies and Customs

Ethnic Chinese Weddings Sundanese Wedding Ceremonies Karo Batak Wedding Ceremonies Indonesian Wedding Links

Given the broad diversity of ethnic groups in Indonesia, it stands to reason that wedding customs will reflect this diversity. Each ethnic group has different wedding dress ( batik , traditional textiles , kebaya ) and different marriage ceremonies and customs. Within ethnic groups, those of different religious backgrounds will have different practices as well.

As a expatriate living in Indonesia you may on occasion receive a wedding invitation. You may not know how to act, what to bring or what your role as a guest in the wedding should be. We'd like to outline what happens at most weddings in Indonesia to help prepare you. If in doubt, consult colleagues or friends that you know have been invited or ask colleagues or your secretary to determine what appropriate dress and gift would be.

Attendance is Important

A wedding is a very important event in Indonesian culture and is considered the starting point of a new aspect of a person's life, therefore normally everyone wants to help the couple celebrate this occasion. Literally every relative, acquaintance, colleague or business partner could be invited to the wedding. Joining a group of others that are invited, even if you did not receive an invitation personally addressed to you, is normal (as long as it's not a sit down dinner - in which case the number of invitees is clearly stated on the invitation).

On the other hand, not responding to the invitation, or not attending a wedding that a close colleague has invited you to can cause a significant insult and slight to the giver, which can cause problems in your relationship in the future. Having said that ... you are not obligated to attend every wedding that you receive an invitation for. Although people that you do not have a close relationship with may give you an invitation, it is understandable if you send regrets for not being able to attend.

The Invitation

Wedding invitations in Jakarta and other urban centers can be very extravagant. The date on the outside of the envelope is very practical if you receive many wedding invitations. In rural areas, the invitation is done via visits from the family to neighbors and friends.

The sincere welcome extended to guests is noted on the invitation with wording such as “ Merupakan suatu kehormatan & kebahagiaan bagi kami apabila Bapak/Ibu/Saudara/i berkenan hadir untuk memberikan doa restu kepada kedua mempelai” or “ Tiada yang dapat kami ungkapkan selain ucapan terima kasih dari hati yang tulus atas kehairan serta pemberian doa restu Bapak/Ibu/Saudara/i kepada putra-putri kami” . Both of these phrases mean that you do the family great honor by attending and extending blessings upon the bride and groom.

If you would like to attend the wedding ceremony, as this is when most of the cultural ceremonies take place, be sure to ask the person who gave you the invitation if this would be okay. They will probably say yes, but it's best to clear it first as usually a much smaller crowd or just close family members are expected to witness the actual exchange of marriage vows.

Appropriate Dress

For women, nice dresses, much as you would wear to a wedding at home. For men, a business suit or a long-sleeved batik shirt with slacks.

It would be appropriate to wear a long sleeved dress to a Muslim wedding reception. It is not necessary for an expatriate woman to cover her head, though many of the Indonesian attendees may do so.

Therefore, a relatively new practice arose in the mid-90s whereby the wedding couple asks the attendees not to bring gifts or floral displays by the inclusion of additional wording on the invitation “ Dengan tidak mengurangi rasa hormat dan terima kasih, akan lebih bermanfaat seandainya ungkapan kasih sayang yang mungkin akan diberikan kepada kami tidak berupa cendera mata atau karangan bunga” or “ Dengan tidak mengurangi rasa hormat kami, akan sangat berterima kasih apabila tanda kasih yang akan diberikan tidak berupa cenderamata atau karangan bunga” . This translates as, Without belittling your generosity, we'd appreciate it if you didn't give us flowers or a gift.

This is a nice way of asking for money instead of gifts. At the reception desk there will be a beautifully decorated box with a slit in the top into which you can insert an envelope with money. If you choose to give money and are uncertain of an appropriate amount to give, ask your secretary or Indonesian colleagues for their suggestions. Sometimes the hostesses will number your envelope as well as next to your signature in the guest book, so that the bride and groom know how much money you gave.

Having said this, you are not obligated to bring a gift to the wedding.

Don't expect a thank you note after the wedding for your gift. In many weddings attendees are given a small token upon their arrival, a fan, key chain or other item. Attached to this item will be a thank you for your attendance.

Wedding Receptions

The difference in the income level of the individuals will, needless to say, have a great bearing on the extent of the wedding celebrations. Weddings in Jakarta range from simple meals in the family home, to small receptions in community centers to grand extravagant affairs in the Jakarta Convention Center or 5-star hotel ballrooms.

At most wedding receptions, the guests arrive, sign the guest book, accept their thank you token, deposit their gift and enter the reception hall.

If you arrive on time you will be able to witness the procession of the wedding couple into the reception hall. Depending on the wealth, social standing or ethnic group, this procession can be quite impressive. The bride and groom may be proceeded by dancers who give a traditional dance performance before the wedding couple goes on stage. Or the performance may come after the bride and groom are seated. The parents of the bride and groom and other senior family members will follow the couple in procession into the room.

Then come the speeches! A representative of each family will address the crowd to thank them for their attendance and sometimes an expression of regret if any arrangements for the reception are lacking or found wanting. Depending on whether or not you have one or two representatives speak, the speeches can be very brief or take up to half an hour.

After going through the receiving line, the guests are invited to eat. The feast can be quite extensive and is a good opportunity to try cuisine from different regions. It could be as simple as nasi goreng or bakmi goreng, ikan asem-manis to the more elaborate where there will be food stalls with sushi, tempura, kambing guling , dim sum, beef Wellington and other western dishes. Once the speeches are complete, it is also acceptable to eat first and then join the receiving line after your meal if the line is quite long.

When should you arrive and how long should you stay?

While some attendees will arrive early, the timing of your arrival should be determined by whether or not you want to see the procession and hear the speeches. If you do want to, you should come on time. If you. d rather miss the grand entrance and speeches, you can come 30-60 minutes after the time noted on the invitation. Then you can enter immediately into the reception hall, shake hands and proceed to the buffet tables.

Don't expect that alcohol will be served at the wedding reception or that there would be dancing, this is highly unlikely. Likewise, coming to a wedding after drinking would be considered very rude. Some couples that have spent time overseas may have a wine and beer bar at their reception, however this is not common and in most cases guests will only drink moderately at a reception.

Indonesian Ethnic Weddings

The primary differences between wedding receptions of different ethnic groups would be in the style of wedding dress, stage decorations, food served and the dance performance. Besides that, most weddings follow somewhat predictable patterns as described above. More differences would be evident in the traditional wedding ceremonies than in the receptions.

Ethnic Chinese Weddings

About a week before the wedding, the family of the groom will go (without the groom) to the house of the bride bringing various gifts that are arranged in red baskets or red boxes or other red containers. Red symbolizes happiness and prosperity for the Chinese. Each basket should be carried by a member of the immediate family of the groom. The contents of the basket determines who should carry each basket.

The baskets from the groom should all be carried by males. They contain various items, such as fruit in one basket, clothes in another, gold jewelry for the bride in another. Some are gifts from the groom and others are gifts from the family of the groom. Another basket contains ' uang susu ' (milk money). Depending on the wealth of the family the gifts will be more or less generous.

The bride's family then accepts the baskets and takes them off to another room. Then, they sort through the gifts. Normally half of the gifts are placed back in the baskets and returned to the family of the groom. The basket is then returned to the person that brought it and everybody goes home.

Some of the baskets contain makeup and personal things for the bride, such as nightgowns. This symbolizes that the groom's family is accepting her into their house. On her wedding day when she moves in, all of her personal belongings will already be in the groom's house. Again the gifts are sorted through and about half are returned.

Different ethnic Chinese groups will have variations on these proceedings, some more strictly adhered to than others. For example, Hokian, Cantonese or Kai have slight variations on these customs. For some, the groom's family will be invited into the new couple's bedroom after the bride's gifts have been received into the house and they will be invited to have a 'closet inspection'. It is expected that the bride has placed her things neatly in the closets indicating that she will be a good housekeeper.

The bride and groom would then go to the church, together in the same car, for the service. The church service is not really considered that important and only immediate family normally attend. The more important event to attend is the reception.

After the church service, the newlyweds proceed to a professional photo studio and have their picture taken in many poses as a memento of the day. After the photo session, the newlyweds go on to the reception that is usually a standing only event.

The reception is run by an MC, usually someone who is hired to do the job. The reception begins with a speech of welcome from the MC.

The cutting of the cake is usually the only event at the reception. The bride and groom cut the cake together and then feed the cake to each other with entwined arms, trying not to destroy the bride's elaborate makeup in the process. Then a piece of the cake would also be cut for each of the parents and grandparents and they too would be fed by the bride and groom holding the cake together.

After the cake cutting, and sometimes a toast, the guests are invited to shake hands with the newlyweds and their parents on the stage. In all weddings there is some musical entertainment as the attendees line up to shake hands. This could be as simple as a man with a keyboard up to the Jakarta Symphony or Twilight Orchestra. You would also shake hands again when you are going to leave.

At more elaborate ethnic Chinese weddings, there could be a sit-down wedding reception. If this is the case, expect an elaborate 9 to 10 course meal. It could feature Chinese cuisine only, or be mixed with western dishes as well. There could be a female singer for entertainment. Occasionally, friends or family members will get up from the audience to sing for the wedding couple. The head tables will usually get a bottle of cognac or whiskey. At the weddings of the very wealthy, beer, wine or champagne maybe served to the guests.

Most of the ethnic Chinese customs that a decade ago would have been compulsory are being ignored by the younger generation today. Most of the customs that are carried out are done so to satisfy parents' wishes.

Sundanese Wedding Ceremony

Some common practices from a traditional Sundanese (West Java) wedding ceremony:

Welcoming the bridegroom ceremony

• The bridegroom is welcomed with the umbul-umbul, a decoration indicating that a wedding ceremony is going on, which is also auspicious for the bridegroom.
• The welcome is followed by a procession of ladies with candles. They pray to the Almighty seeking His blessing in order that there maybe no hindrances in the ceremony.
• The showering of flowers by the dancers is symbolic of a fragrant future for the couple.
• The umbrella held over the couple's heads, apart from serving as a protective symbol, indicates esteem and respect.
• The mother of the bride gives the bridegroom a garland of flowers indicating his acceptability to the family.
• The mother of the bride gives the bridegroom a keris , a hidden message to the son-in-law not to be disheartened while toiling for his family.

Wedding ceremony

The bride and groom are seated next to each other with a selendang or veil covering their heads indicating two people but having one mind.

The bride and groom bend forward and kiss the knees of their parents, called sungkem , asking for forgiveness and blessing and reassuring them that they will continue to serve their parents.

This ceremony should take place in front of the sawer or gargoyle. The water flowing from the gargoyle indicates the continuous flow of priceless parental love for their children.

The bride and groom are seated under an umbrella in front of the entrance to the house. There are two singers, a man and a woman, who sing on behalf of the parents. The song, called kidung , advises the couple to treat each other well, living in harmony, and serves as a prayer to the Almighty to bless the couple.

Then the sawer is showered on the couple. It consists of:

Turmeric rice Rice is a sign of prosperity and yellow stands for everlasting love

Coins Reminding the couple to share their wealth with the less fortunate

Candy Indicates sweetness and fragrance throughout their marriage

A betel nut set near the couple is a reminder that their different customs should not spoil their harmonious marriage.

Nincak Endog

This is the egg breaking ceremony. The couple are required to stand facing each other in front of the entrance of the house. The bridegroom stands outside the entrance and the bride is inside the entrance.

This ceremony is conducted by the lady in charge of the bridal makeup and serves as advice to the couple for their happiness and long wedded life.

The following items are used:

a. Harupat , seven broomsticks, are burnt and thrown away symbolizing the discarding of bad habits which endanger one. s married life.

b. An egg is broken, indicating that the groom will be the master of the house henceforth and the bride will serve him.

c. Ajug , seven candles, represents the direction the couple should follow to ensure a happy married life.

d. Elekon , hollow bamboo, which symbolizes emptiness.

e. Kendi , an earthen water jug filled with water, which stands for peace.

f. In the past, unmarried girls were not allowed to cross over logs. Here the bride is made to cross the log as a sign that she will always obey her husband.

The lady in charge of the ceremony gives the bride the harupat. The groom lights the harupat with the ajug . Then the flames are put out and the sticks are broken and thrown away. After the groom breaks the egg with his right foot, the bride cleans the groom's foot with the water from the kendi . Then the bride throws the kendi to break it.

Then the couple are escorted to the house. The bride crosses the log and enters the house while the groom remains outside to perform the buka pintu ceremony.

This is a dialogue between the bride and groom in front of the house. However, they are represented by a couple who also sings for them. First, the couple knocks three times on the door, then enters into a dialogue whereby permission is requested by the groom to enter the bride's house. The bride consents on the condition that the groom will say the syahadat (confirming his Moslem faith). The song also solemnizes the importance of the nuptial ceremony.

Huap Lingkung

Symbolic of the last time the parents of the bride will feed their daughter. This is also the first dish prepared by the daughter in her new home. The dish consists of turmeric sticky rice with yellow spiced chicken on top of it.

Patarik-Tarik Bakakak

The couple are given a barbecued spiced chicken. On hearing the word 'go' from the lady conducting the ceremony, the couple has to pull the chicken apart. The one who gets the larger piece supposedly will bring in the larger share of the family fortune. This ceremony also serves to remind the couple to encourage each other to work hard together to gain good fortune.

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Spectacular volcanic mountain backdrops and verdant scene are the perfect venue for a memorable wedding at the MesaStila Spa Retreat & Coffee Planation in Central Java .

Partially Updated July 6, 2023

Tatler Asia

More than words: how to write the perfect wedding speeches.

It’s not just what you say at a wedding—it’s how you say it, too. Here's a go-to guide for delivering the perfect speech

Illustrations by Bernard Chau

A wedding speech is an opportunity to express what might not ever be said again in public. It’s a much-anticipated highlight of the day, and often one of the memories guests and the bride treasure most. Traditionally, there are three wedding speeches. The father of the bride usually speaks first, then the groom and finally the best man . Toasts are then made at the end of each speech—to the bride and groom, the bridesmaids and the newlyweds, respectively.

Each speech should last between five to eight minutes (roughly 1,000 words), so it’s imperative that speakers are prepared to convey lively, entertaining and heartfelt words that are memorable for all the right reasons.

A toastmaster or master of ceremonies can introduce the speakers. Microphones should be used in large venues and, if the bride and groom are of different nationalities, translations should be projected on a big screen to include all guests.

T he Father of the bride

Everyone loves to hear a sweet story about the bride that only a dad can tell. But a common fatherly faux pas is to talk for too long, dully listing his daughter’s achievements while everyone listens politely, trying not to fall asleep.

First, the speech should include a standard thank-you to guests for coming, and to those involved in organising and paying for the wedding. Then, grab the audience’s attention. “There’s an element of theatre in delivering a wedding speech,” says Carole Spiers, known in London as an expert on wedding speeches. As a motivational speaker, professional speechwriter and author, Spiers has helped thousands of people find the right words to say at their wedding.

It’s not necessarily what is said, but how. A lively delivery style is vital, says Spiers. “Vary the tone of your voice and use eye contact. Scan the room and stop every so often to look at individuals—and don’t forget the people at your own table.”

Avoid talking too quickly by making silence part of the speech. “Pauses are a great way of engaging with the audience,” says Spiers. Wait for smiles and laughter, stopping to reflect on poignant points. And be sure to relate to guests—think about who will be listening to you and imagine you’re them. It’s no use making cultural or historical references that people won’t understand.

The father-of-the-bride’s speech is usually the most emotional one of the day—but try your best not to get overcome. “It’s an opportunity for a father to say something warm and sensitive to his daughter that he might not have said before,” says Spiers.

“People don’t forget a groom’s wedding speech. What you say is there for all time,” says Spiers. The groom has a reputation to uphold—for his new wife, her family (now his, by extension) and among the guests—some of whom may know him professionally as well as socially. Nerves can be calmed by using breathing techniques—breathe in deeply from the diaphragm.

The groom should begin by thanking the father (or equivalent) of the bride on behalf of himself and his new wife. He should then thank a series of people: the guests for coming; the bride’s parents if they are hosting the wedding; his parents for raising him; and the best man for supporting him. Finally, anyone else who has helped with the wedding should be acknowledged. No one must be forgotten—and names must be pronounced correctly. The groom can offer bouquets to both mothers and also make comment on his beautiful new wife.

Get the audience engaged by being authentic and sincere. “Guests are in a happy mood and want you to succeed—but you still have to prove yourself and there are high expectations. They will be waiting to be entertained,” says Spiers.

Memorise the opening lines of the speech even if the rest is read using cards—which is, by the way, perfectly acceptable. Once the speech is in full flow, the adrenaline will take over. Close on a crescendo with a well-rehearsed ending. Adrenaline is your friend again here, making the finale easier than the start.

The best man

This is perhaps the trickiest speech of all —everyone has heard the horror tatler_stories of inappropriate references, bad language and embarrassing anecdotes.

First, any messages should be read out, and make a compliment to the bride before any anecdotes about the groom or the couple. Quietly speak to the bride and groom’s family and friends well in advance to learn an amusing story that people might not know. “Bring a little humour into it and you have a sincere anecdote that people will remember,” advises Spiers.

Know what you’re going to say and practise it well in advance—be clear about where you will be standing and be familiar with the microphone, whether it’s a lapel mic or a handheld one. “The most common mistake for a best man is to think he can wing it on the night or that alcohol will carry him through,” says Spiers. “People who think they can just turn up and talk without preparation often end up with egg on their face.”

Don’t come up with a bunch of clever jokes unless you’re a comedian—and that includes crude or in-jokes that nobody but the groom understands. The audience should be laughing with you, not at you. Finally, don’t drink too much. Nobody will thank you for a slurred speech and you’ll certainly regret any embarrassment caused.

Groom Speech Examples

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(*Of course, if you’re looking for more than ‘advice’, check out all the different ways the Speechy team can help you write & deliver a great speech. Or check out our new AI-powered team member, SpeechyAI .)

Lessons to Learn from Our Speech Examples

• Length – no more than 1,300 words
• Structure – Don’t begin with the thank-yous, start with the stories and hook in your audience
• Don’t let your speech become a tedious thank-you list
• Tell good stories
• Resist Googled-gags, cliches, and platitudes
• Pepper the speech with humour throughout
• Have the romantic summary towards the end of your speech

Ultimately though,  every speech should be unique and tailored to the individual speaker’s style.

For obvious reasons, we cannot share the full range of speeches we write for our clients but these are generic (and made-up) speeches to give you an idea of a good structure.

Your speech may be more sentimental, shorter, or poetic. Crucially, it needs to be more YOU!

INTRODUCTION

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to what can only be described as the greatest day of my life. Well, second greatest day of my life, if you include the day Misty managed to not leave a wet towel on the bed. (Pretend to wipe tear away) Sorry, it’s an emotional memory.

Firstly, on behalf of both Misty and I, let me thank you all for coming. I know many of you have travelled long distances to be here. And a special thanks to our English friends, many of whom see travelling north of the border as akin to entering the Squid Games. Your bravery is greatly appreciated.

THE SPEECH-MEAT

Now, another person I’d like to thank is our mutual friend Lou who actually set us up six years ago. I mean, I say ‘set up’, she described me to Misty as ‘average looking, but has nice shoes’.

But uncharitable review or not, it certainly seemed to do the trick. When we met for the first time at Lou’s birthday drinks, we immediately gravitated towards each other. We talked intensely all evening. It was one of those conversations where you lose all track of time and everything else just seems to drift into the background. We talked about life, hobbies, future plans and how when she was a kid, she was obsessed with Winnie the Pooh. Which makes it not at all surprising that she’d end up with me: a chubby character with one shirt and an aggressive appetite.

I remember coming away from that evening in a bit of a haze, not only had I found someone I liked, and liked me back, but I’d also found someone who could still rap all the words to Eminem’s ‘Stan’.

I thought life couldn’t get any better until, as we went to leave, she nervously turned to me and uttered those three magic words all guys want to hear: Fancy a kebab?

It was then I knew I was in love.

It’s a weird feeling meeting someone that you know you’d happily spend the rest of your life with. Before meeting Misty ‘love’ felt like just a word, and all of a sudden, she comes along and fills that word with meaning.

To this day, I’ve always maintained that it feels like we are two halves of the same whole. It felt like that then, and still does now, that we were just the right amount of similar, and just the right amount of different to be perfect together.

We complement each other’s good traits, and soften each other’s bad ones. By which I mean, I occasionally pick up her wet towels and she does literally everything else.

But I also mean that she has taught me a lot. She’s taught me that kindness always wins, she’s taught me that it’s not the words you say, but the way you make people feel that gets remembered, and she’s taught me that marmite and cheese on crumpets is the greatest snack known to man.

She is the other side to my coin, the cheerful Winnie the Pooh to my grumpy Eeyore. And now, incredibly, she’s my wife.

THE THANK YOUS

If you’ll all allow me, I’d like to take this opportunity to mention some incredibly important people who have helped us not just today, but throughout our lives.

Firstly, I’d like to thank my dad, who has taught me that being a man isn’t about machismo and bravado, it’s about being warm, welcoming and caring. I’ve often been called a ‘mini David’, and it’s something I’ll continue to wear as a badge of honour.

To Misty’s parents, June and Martin, your help with the wedding planning has been utterly invaluable, and I can’t thank you enough for how you’ve both welcomed me into your family. I’ll look forward to many more Sunday dinners that end with Martin saying ‘I’ll get the whiskey’.

To my groomsmen, for turning up both fully dressed and mostly sober, and also for years of support, advice and knowing exactly when I need a chat and a game of FIFA.

To Misty’s bridesmaids for being amazing friends and helping everyone keep a cool head with yesterday’s dress disaster. Your sage advice and support has always been a great comfort to Misty and I both.

THE DEARLY DEPARTED

And finally, I’d like to say thank you to a very special woman who is sadly no longer with us: my mum. There’s no other way to say it, other than it’s heartbreaking that she can’t be here today. She was a person who was born to be at big events. A person who filled the room with her smile and her presence. And while she can’t be with us, I know how much she approved of Misty, because in the latter weeks of her life, she tapped me on the hand and gently said ‘Misty is a keeper’.

So mum, I love you and I miss you, and I hope you’re looking down on us today with your characteristic big smile on your face, safe in the knowledge that I’ve taken your advice on board.

ROMANTIC TRIBUTE

Now, I’m not one for massive promises and grand gestures, but now seems like as good a moment as any to break from that tradition. So Misty, before I end this speech, I’d like to give you three promises for our future life together: I promise whenever you say ‘fancy a kebab?’ I’ll always say yes. I promise to always back you up by singing the Dido chorus in ‘Stan’, and I promise that no matter what, I’ll spend the rest of my days attempting to make you as happy as you’ve made me.

So, without further ado, if you’ll all kindly be upstanding, and join me in a toast to my best friend and love of my life: The new… Mrs Misty Ferguson! (Raise toast).

Written by Ed and Tom , Speechy Writers

Ladies and gentlemen, friends and family, Spaniards and Americans – today is a historic day. As Michelle has done me the great honour of agreeing to be my wife, it is a day when our countries’ traditions and cultures come together.

Today, the Spanish Imperial Eagle takes to the skies with the American Bald Eagle. Today, we scatter hamburgers and fries across the paella and create the McPaella. Today, we play the Marcha Real alongside the Star-Spangled Banner.

( PLAY MUSIC MASH-UP OF THE TWO NATIONAL ANTHEMS PLAYED AT THE SAME TIME).

As you can perhaps tell, a mix of cultures is not always an easy thing, but I believe that, with work, my wife and I can make it so that our music is harmonious, our meals are delicious and our nation’s birds do not peck each other to death.

Today, I have the joy of standing here as part of a married couple. As you may know, I am more mature than the traditional groom and I must admit that as, one-by-one, my friends and family members all got married, I sat there at a succession of weddings, always on the single table. In case you were wondering, the single table is Table Five today. Please stop by and pity them, it’s what they deserve. 

At every wedding, I was pestered by my mother and aunts about when I will marry. I looked at the grooms and I thought, ‘Thank God I am single.’ I will admit I have enjoyed the bachelor life. I have enjoyed being free to pursue my work, to not worry about when I come home, and to live in a house where there are fewer than two cushions in the entire place.

But then Michelle happened.

We met through the intervention of our friend Katya – there she is on Table Five, and, yes, she is single. I met Michelle in the street as we were passing and she was rude to me and bossy. I couldn’t understand this American powerhouse. She told me to take her out for coffee and I don’t know what happened. I lost the power to resist. All of my bachelor strength was drained, and I found myself nodding and doing as I was told for once.

I don’t know how but Michelle flies under my radar, she unpicks my defences and I find it impossible to resist her. And I have tried!

So, my beautiful wife Michelle arrived and my bachelor life ended. I am able to stand here today and say I am so grateful that it has. No more Table Five. No more aunts and mothers asking me when I will get married. So many more cushions.

Michelle has allowed me to speak for both of us today, which she did so on the condition that I understood this was to be the last time in our married lives that this was the case. From now on, I shall be the perfect trophy husband that Michelle wants, I will nod and I will look pretty.

I would like to take this opportunity then to say some sincere and heartfelt thank yous. First of all, I would like to thank you, our guests, for coming today. I know that for some of you, especially the guests today from Malaga in southern Spain, the journey to join us here today has been significant.

THE BIG THANK YOU

When people will fly nearly 5,000 miles to a wedding, you realise how powerful the offer of free food and drink truly is. I hope today is a celebration for you too and please know that we are so grateful for you making this day so special.

Now for the rest of you, I want to issue a warning that many of our Malagan guests might not have the greatest command of the English language. For some of them this is the first time that they have been abroad. I won’t embarrass him by name, but one of the guests asked me where Mickey Mouse was and I had to explain that the mouse isn’t everywhere.

So, to make them feel more welcome I thought maybe I could teach you some useful Spanish phrases that could help you integrate. If you look on your table you will see a card for you each so you can read along with me. So listen to me and repeat please!

‘He bebido demasiado Sangria y no puedo sentir mis piernas.’

Come on, I know you can do it.

That is a very useful Spanish phrase which means:

‘I have drunk too much Sangria and can no longer feel my legs.’

Ok, another:

‘Me gustaria bailar Flamenco contigo hasta una hora desaconsejable.’

That means:

‘I would like to dance the flamenco with you until an inadvisable hour.’

Excellent! Now finally:

‘Hola, me puedes llamar un Uber. No recuerdo nada de anoche.’

That translastes as:

‘Please call me an Uber, I have no recollection of last night.’

Now, as you may know I have been in America for nearly ten years now and I am starting to think of myself as part-American. For Michelle, I know this makes her laugh, because she often says that I am the most Spanish man in the history of the world.

But I think coming to a foreign country can be an amazing learning experience because every day you do things as an outsider. Everything is different here. Everything. You want to go to the toilet in America then you have to pay to go into the toilet. In America, toilets are also a business! Amazing!

I am an outsider with your food. Thanks to my mother I was raised eating home-cooked food bursting with flavour, then I come to America and I eat McDonalds every day and slowly my tastebuds fade away and now they are on life support, kept going only by the jamon iberico my mother sends me at Christmas.

But as an outsider I have also been shocked to see the difference in some people in America – the friendliness and the warmth that I am offered. I think this is why Michelle has overcome my defences.

As you know, she works as the director of a charity and she lives her life for other people. She thinks and she cares for other people all the time and I am amazed that she has agreed to be my wife today. Perhaps I am her biggest charity project yet and one day after years of rehabilitation she will release me back into the wild. I hope not.

By contrast, I am the greedy property developer, making money from the ruins of other people’s lives and hopes. I will not lie, my day is not complete until I have pushed at least three widows out of their houses and turned their homes into flats. But maybe this too has been useful for my marriage. After all, my work has taught me to look at ruined and dilapidated things and see the beauty there. Anyone drawing any comparisons to Michelle should be ashamed of themselves.

THE ROMANTIC SUMMARY

Seriously, I couldn’t imagine a more beautiful woman on any continent in the world today.

I want to thank you for coming to our wedding. I want to thank Michelle for agreeing to be my wife and I want to end my speech by offering her these traditional arras . These are Spanish gold coins that a groom gives to his wife on their wedding day. The coins are a symbol of how the man promises to provide for his wife. Not just in terms of finance but also for their emotions – to be a provider that gives her everything she needs.

My love, I give these coins to you today and promise that I will do my best to ensure that for you for the rest of our lives you have everything you ever need and, always, more than enough love.

Now everybody: please raise your glasses and repeat after me:  ‘¡Arriba! ¡Abajo! ¡Al centro! …. y pa dentro!’ That means put your arm up, put your arm down, health for you all, drink it down!

Speech written by Andrew, Speechy writer

Ladies and gentlemen, uncles and aunties, bhaiyon aur behano , boys and girls – namaste and welcome. My wife and I…(pause for applause) thank you so much for coming to share this wonderful weekend with us.

Of course, as much as we’d love to take credit for it, this has been a mammoth group effort with so many to thank for their involvement. After this, our parents are going to take a well-earned rest and sort out the global warming issue.

Now, you already heard the disastrous way Priyanka and I met from the best man, so I won’t go over that again. But it’s true what he said – we were… well, we are like chalk and cheese. Or some would say coal and paneer. And you can tell which one of us is paneer, can’t you?

As a primary school teacher, Priyanka is warm, caring, communicative – a real people’s person who works amongst a number of impatient clients every day. As an architect, I’m concise, introverted, and analytical – I need my space to focus on just one project, sometimes for months at a time. Basically, I’m boring, slow and don’t like hanging out with people.

(Look around) Really, I’ve no idea how this all happened.

But, as the saying goes, opposites attract and you can see that for yourselves in our wedding. Priyanka’s creativity and vivid imagination has gone wild. Getting married in October, she actually wanted this weekend to have a Halloween-themed twist, asking guests to wear Indian costumes, but ripped and bloodied so we’d all look like zombies.

At one point, there was even a Thriller dance routine being planned.

I, of course, shot down idea after idea with my pragmatism, wanting us to keep things traditional, low-maintenance and on the right side of sane. But, if any of you want to rip up your lehangas and kurtas and cover yourselves in the madras, feel free. Though, looking at my mother, maybe not!

Of course, I couldn’t reject all of Priyanka’s inspired ideas and you’ll spot many of them here this evening: the Indian food twists on pizzas and sushi, and the dosa-crepe stand were all her idea. The games of Antakshari, the Carrum tournament, the masala cocktails and the band that does rock covers of Bollywood numbers? All her.

Whilst she came up with all the cool ideas, I kept in my lane; compiling an Excel spreadsheet and making sure we could actually pay for it all. And when I say ‘ we ’, what I actually mean is we pay a small percentage while our parents pay the rest. Thank you Maa, Papa, Saasuma, Sasurji. We owe you. Literally!

But honestly, watching Priyanka plan our wedding has been an absolute joy and seeing how beautiful she looks today is truly humbling.

Priyanka’s knowledge and creativity as a teacher, even as an individual, has never failed to astound me. I had no idea how much my life lacked colour until I met her. She introduced me to different foods, different countries and cultures, and even different films and TV.

I honestly thought she was ready to break up with me when I told her I’d never watched Kuch Kuch Hota Hain . And I was sure it was the end of us when she forced me to watch Maine Pyar Kiya and I walked out halfway through the film. Those of you who don’t know, she loves Maine Pyar Kiya the same way I love KFC.

As I say, opposites attract.

ROMANTIC SUMMARY

Priyanka brings the fun and the excitement to the relationship, and I hope, as an architect, I bring the structure. It may not sound as fun as colour, but when you build the foundations of a relationship you need both passion and pragmatism to keep it from crumbling when confronted with life’s challenges.  

We visit monuments like the Taj Mahal and the Pyramids of Giza because of their colour and the emotions they evoke, and thankfully they continue to stand due to their intelligent architecture. Both foundation and beauty play equally important roles in maintaining the immortality of these international treasures. And I think it’s the same principle that means Priyanka and I will stand the test of time.  

We bring out the best in each other and push one another to challenge the people we are. Sure, this can lead to a few ‘debates’ but we’re ready to hear each other out, and most importantly, we’re ready to compromise. This wedding is the perfect example of the beauty that compromise can lead to. I’ve no doubt we have a few more disagreements ahead of us, but I’m equally sure that our compromises will lead to ever more beautiful times shared together.

Priyanka, before I met you, I already had strong foundations. In fact, I was an unmovable object, working in the same place I’d joined since graduation, living in the same flat. You came in like an unstoppable rainbow grenade, and I don’t think my life was ever the same again. I don’t want my life to ever be the same again.

Whenever you’re about, Kuch Kuch Hota Hain (something happens) and it’s fair to say, Maine Pyar Kiya (I fell in love).

Now, if you can all join me in a toast to my beautiful wife, my very own rainbow grenade, my wonderful Priyanka.

To Priyanka.

Written by Shai, Speechy writer

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Everything to Know About Your Groom Speech: Tips, Advice, and Examples

Our expert says all you need is 15 minutes to prepare.

Photo by Chi-Chi Ari

In This Article

When it comes to wedding speeches , there's no rule that says the groom has to give one; generally speaking, the father of the bride, the best man, and the maid of honor are the only people required to grab the microphone, but there's even some flexibility here. As the groom, if you feel inclined to say a few words during the party, you absolutely should. This is a great chance for you to say thanks: You can thank your guests for being there, thank your family members for their financial and emotional support, thank your wedding vendors for bringing the day to life, and thank your partner for making you the happiest man in the room.

If you're feeling nervous about the idea of giving a speech, here's the good news: According to Pete Honsberger , the author of Wedding Toasts 101: The Guide to the Perfect Wedding Speech , preparing for your moment in the spotlight is surprisingly simple. What's more, he says, this is an opportunity you won't want to pass up.

Meet the Expert

Pete Honsberger is the author of Wedding Toasts 101: The Guide to the Perfect Wedding Speech , He has been a serial groomsman, speaker, and wedding toast advisor for most of his adult life. When it comes to wedding toasts, he's seen just about everything.

Here, Honsberger's top tips for writing and delivering an amazing wedding speech as the groom, including exactly what to say to get everyone clapping.

Groom's Wedding Speech Tips

If you're feeling like you can't possibly add another task to your pre-wedding to-do list, remember that writing your speech shouldn't take long at all. "You only need a few minutes to prepare and about two minutes to deliver your speech ," Honsberger says. "This is your chance to recognize the hard work that others (and you) have put into this amazing day, to thank everyone for giving you the gifts of their time (and money, haha!), and to add another twinkle in your love’s eyes. "

His best advice? Keep it brief, but make it count. "From my experience [giving a speech at my own wedding] and those that I’ve witnessed, it’s so worth it," says Honsberger.

How to Prepare for a Wedding Speech as the Groom

Honsberger says that preparing for your speech should take less than 15 minutes. That's right: In less than the time it takes to watch a rerun of your favorite television show, you'll be able to pen a thoughtful message for the big day. "Just be sure to have a tidbit for each and you’ll look like a pro. Most importantly, you’ll show the crowd, your family, and your partner that you genuinely appreciate them," he adds.

When should you give your speech? Honsberger says either right before or right after dinner is served. "You'll want to speak to your planner in advance about fitting your toast into the reception timeline , but once it's go-time, simply gesture for a microphone and ask for the guests’ attention," he explains.

Groom Speech Template

To begin, simply prepare these five steps.

Step 1: Give Thanks 

In today's modern world, most of your wedding guests are traveling to be part of the big day. "And regardless of wedding size, you’ve had people traveling distances and giving their time to be in attendance," says Honsberger. "Most (and hopefully all) have brought you gifts , many of the pieces of green paper that will serve you very well as you start your new life. And even more than that, they deemed you important enough to spend a day of their lives participating in your celebration." That's why it's so important to take a moment and thank your guests. After all, regardless of how big or small your wedding is, there's a good chance you won't be able to spend quality time with each guest, which means you likely won't be able to thank everyone for being there.

At a loss for what to say? Honsberger suggests: "The only thing I want to say is wow. People have told me this would be the best day of my life, and I can honestly say it’s true, because of all of you (pointing at the crowd), and especially you (pointing at your partner). I cannot thank you all enough for being here."

Step 2: Give One Compliment to Your Partner

Your wedding day is about the two of you coming together, so you'd be remiss not to say something sweet about the person who just married you. "Cue up a classy and perhaps playful compliment about their dress or tux, the work they did to make the day possible, their patience in dealing with you, their resilience in wedding planning while you were out of town on a business trip, or simply their unwavering love throughout a challenging process," says Honsberger. "Tell them this publicly. You only need one or two lines to share your appreciation and to make their eyes sparkle and their face blush with slightly embarrassed happiness. "

An option he likes? “[Name of your partner], I’ll never forget seeing you walk down the aisle today. You are beautiful in more ways than I can count.” As a funny alternative, he also suggests: “[Name of your partner], you must be a parking ticket because you have fine written all over you right now!” 

Step 3: Recall One Memory 

"You don’t have a lot of time for this, so pick out one noteworthy anecdote or short memory from your relationship, from the wedding planning process , or from your interactions with their family and friends," says Honsberger. "Share your most compelling and enthusiastic version of that story and you’ll delight the whole crowd." A good option, according to the pro, would be something like: “When [name of partner] and I first met, we talked for hours until our friends all wanted to leave. I started to panic since I didn’t want to stop getting to know them. So I suggested we keep the party going by getting some pizza while everyone else went home. We’re only here tonight because my [husband or wife] likes pizza!”

Step 4: Share One Reception Comment 

Whether it’s about the dinner being currently served, the signature cocktail available at the bar, the DJ/band, or the overall atmosphere in the reception space, pull out one comment to share aloud related to the evening’s experience. "The purpose of this is to connect the whole room with your vision for the night," says Honsberger. "If you want the dance floor absolutely packed, speak it into existence. If you have a specially requested song you want to tease, mention it here."

Step 5: Give Thanks Again

Before concluding your speech, give one more round of thanks for everyone involved. Anyone you missed on the first pass—your families, any special friends, and especially your wedding vendors—should be noted here. Then, ask everyone to raise a toast to your partner, your families, the friends in attendance, and the hardworking staff working to bring the day to life.  

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Top Grooms Wedding Speech Checklist (With Useful Examples)

Giving the grooms wedding speech is one task that can make even the most confident groom nervous. This is where a groom’s wedding speech checklist comes in handy.

The day is all about celebrating your love. As the groom, your wedding day is one of the most important days of your life. You have found the love of your life and are ready to start a new chapter with them.

Understanding your role as the groom , your speech is an opportunity to thank your guests for attending, express your love and appreciation for your partner, and share your excitement for your future together. It’s important to understand your role and what is expected of you before you start writing your speech.

Preparation Stage – The preparation stage is crucial for delivering a successful speech. This includes writing your speech, practicing your delivery, and preparing any props or visual aids. With the right preparation, you can deliver a speech that will be remembered for years to come.

• Understand your role and what is expected of you as the groom.
• Preparation is key to delivering a successful speech.
• A groom’s wedding speech checklist can help you cover all the important points and deliver a memorable speech.

Understanding Your Role

As the groom, you have a very important role to play on your wedding day. One of the most significant duties is giving the groom’s speech. This is your chance to thank everyone who has helped make your special day possible and to express your love and appreciation for your new spouse. In this section, we will discuss the importance of the groom’s speech and provide tips on timing and duration.

Importance of Groom’s Speech

The groom’s speech is an essential part of the wedding reception. It is an opportunity for you to thank your guests for coming and for their support, to express your love and gratitude to your new spouse, and to acknowledge the contributions of those who have helped make your wedding day possible. Your speech should be heartfelt, sincere, and memorable.

Timing and Duration

Timing and duration are important considerations when it comes to the groom’s speech. Ideally, your speech should take place after the meal has been served and before the cutting of the cake. This will ensure that your guests are attentive and that there are no distractions.

In terms of duration, a speech that is too short may come across as insincere, while a speech that is too long may become tedious and lose your audience’s attention. Aim for a speech that lasts between 7 and 10 minutes, which is around 1200 to 1400 words.

To ensure that your speech is well-timed, practice beforehand. Time yourself and make sure that you are not rushing or dragging out your words. Remember to speak clearly and at a comfortable pace.

Preparation Stage

Before you start writing your groom’s speech, it’s important to take some time to prepare. This will help ensure that you deliver a speech that is heartfelt, well-organised, and memorable. Here are some key steps to take during the preparation stage:

Brainstorming Ideas

The first step in preparing your groom’s speech is to brainstorm ideas. Think about what you want to say and how you want to say it. Consider the following:

• What do you want to say to your bride?
• What do you want to say to your parents and in-laws?
• Who else do you want to thank or acknowledge?
• What stories or anecdotes do you want to share?
• What emotions do you want to convey?

Take some time to jot down your thoughts and ideas. You can use a notebook, a word processor, or any other tool that works for you. Don’t worry about organising your thoughts at this stage – just focus on getting your ideas down on paper.

Writing the Speech

Once you have some ideas, it’s time to start writing your speech. Here are some tips to help you get started:

• Begin with an attention-grabbing opening that sets the tone for your speech.
• Use personal anecdotes and stories to connect with your audience.
• Include heartfelt thanks to your bride, parents, in-laws, and anyone else who has helped make your wedding day special.
• Keep your speech concise and to the point. Aim for a length of around 5-7 minutes.
• End with a memorable closing that leaves a lasting impression.

As you write your speech, be sure to practice delivering it out loud. This will help you identify any areas that need improvement and ensure that you are comfortable with the content.

No good at writing? Use Koala Writer tool . It will write the speech for you. Just give it some prompts you want to include and hey presto its done.

Practising the Speech

Finally, it’s important to practice your speech. Here are some tips to help you prepare:

• Practice in front of a mirror to work on your delivery and body language.
• Practice in front of a friend or family member to get feedback and support.
• Record yourself delivering the speech and watch it back to identify areas for improvement.
• Practice your speech until you feel comfortable and confident delivering it on the day.

By following these steps, you can ensure that you are well-prepared to deliver a memorable groom’s speech on your wedding day.

Speech Content

When it comes to the groom’s wedding speech, there are a few key elements that should be included to make it a memorable and heartfelt speech. Here are some sub-sections to consider when planning your speech:

Thanking the Guests

It’s important to start your speech by thanking all of the guests for coming to celebrate your special day. You can also thank those who have helped with the wedding planning and preparation, such as the parents, wedding planner, and vendors. Make sure to express your gratitude for everyone’s support and presence on this special day.

Praising the Bride

Your bride is the star of the show, and it’s important to acknowledge her in your speech. Take the time to express your love and admiration for her, and share some of the reasons why you fell in love with her. You can also thank her for her support and for being your partner in life.

Acknowledging the Parents

It’s customary to acknowledge the parents in your speech, especially if they have contributed to the wedding planning or have been a source of support for you and your partner. You can thank them for raising you and your partner, and for their love and guidance throughout your lives.

Sharing Personal Anecdotes

One of the best ways to make your speech memorable is to share some personal anecdotes and stories. This can include how you and your partner met, funny moments from your relationship, or touching moments that have brought you closer together. Just make sure to keep it appropriate and avoid embarrassing anyone.

By including these sub-sections in your speech, you can create a heartfelt and memorable tribute to your partner and your special day. Remember to keep it concise and to the point, and practice your speech beforehand so that you can deliver it confidently and smoothly.

Grooms Wedding Speech Examples

Here are three examples of a groom’s wedding speech:

Example 1 : the groom starts by thanking his new spouse and expressing how much this new phase of their relationship means to him. He then goes on to thank VIPs in his life, such as his parents, mother and father in-law, friends, family members, wedding party, or anyone else who made the wedding day possible.

Example 2: the groom may use a template as a guide for his speech. He can start with a greeting, thank the guests for coming, and then express his gratitude to his new spouse, parents, and wedding party. He can also share a few funny anecdotes or heart-warming stories about how he and his partner met.

Example 3: the groom’s speech is described as half admin, half emotion, kind of like an Oscar acceptance. The groom may cover all bases by thanking his parents, spouse, and wedding party, as well as sharing some funny or emotional stories about his relationship with his new spouse. He may also express his hopes and dreams for their future together.

Delivery Techniques

When delivering your groom’s speech, it’s important to keep in mind that your delivery can be just as important as the content of your speech. Your delivery can help you engage the audience, make them laugh, and keep them interested throughout your speech. Here are some techniques to help you deliver your groom’s speech effectively.

Body Language

Your body language can convey a lot of information to your audience. Make sure you’re standing up straight, making eye contact, and using appropriate gestures to emphasize your points. Avoid crossing your arms or fidgeting, which can make you seem nervous or closed off.

Voice Modulation

Varying your tone and volume can help keep your audience engaged and interested in your speech. Use a louder voice to emphasize important points and a softer voice for more emotional moments. Vary your pace as well, slowing down for dramatic effect and speeding up for humorous moments.

Using Humour

Humour can be a great way to connect with your audience and keep them engaged throughout your speech. However, it’s important to use humour appropriately and avoid offensive or inappropriate jokes. Make sure your humour is relevant to the occasion and keep it light-hearted and fun.

Handling Emotions

Your groom’s speech is likely to be an emotional moment, and it’s important to be prepared to handle those emotions. Take a deep breath and pause if you feel yourself getting emotional, and use that moment to connect with your audience. Remember to keep your emotions in check and avoid becoming too emotional, which can make it difficult to continue with your speech.

Overall, the key to delivering a great groom’s speech is to be confident, engaging, and authentic. Use these techniques to help you connect with your audience and deliver a speech that will be remembered for years to come.

As you prepare to deliver your groom’s wedding speech, here are some final tips to help you make the most of the moment.

Dealing with Nerves

It’s natural to feel nervous before giving a speech, but there are things you can do to calm your nerves. Practice your speech several times before the big day , and consider recording yourself so you can watch it back and make any necessary adjustments. Take deep breaths and try to relax your body before you begin speaking. Remember, everyone in the room wants you to do well, so take comfort in the support of your loved ones.

Avoiding Inappropriate Content

While you want to inject some personality and humour into your speech, it’s important to avoid anything that could be deemed inappropriate or offensive. Stay away from jokes that are overly risqué or that could offend certain groups of people. Be respectful of your new spouse and their family, and avoid any stories or anecdotes that could embarrass them. Remember, this is a celebration of love and commitment, so keep the focus on that.

Keeping it Brief and Engaging

Your groom’s speech should be heartfelt and meaningful, but it should also be concise and engaging. Keep your speech to around five minutes, and use bullet points or a table to help you stay on track. Make eye contact with your audience and speak clearly and confidently. Use anecdotes and personal stories to illustrate your points, and don’t be afraid to inject some humour into your speech. Remember, the goal is to entertain and inspire your audience, so have fun with it! For extra help >> use Koala Writer AI Tool.

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• Jessica contributes wedding planning, wedding etiquette and relationship content to The Knot.
• She also covers lifestyle and wellness topics for print and digital publications such Refinery29, Bustle, Well + Good, Cosmopolitan, Byrdie, The Zoe Report, The Cut and more.
• Jessica has a journalism degree from Cal State University, Northridge and is certified as a life and success coach.

Traditionally, the father of the bride, the best man, and maid of honor are the ones who take the mic during the wedding reception to share a few words and toast the newlyweds as they embark on their new life together. These days, however, grooms are also opting to stand up and give a speech to welcome guests and thank them for being there to celebrate the special day. Writing and delivering a memorable wedding speech is no easy feat, though, especially if it's your first time. It requires preparation, creativity, and a hefty dose of confidence. To help ensure you give a great groom speech on your wedding day, we chatted with wedding vow and speech writer Alexis Dent of XO Juliet . Ahead, learn how to write a heartfelt, entertaining groom's speech and speech tips on how to deliver it with confidence on the big day.

How Long Should a Groom Speech Be?

Grooms speeches typically take place during the wedding reception. In general, it's best to keep wedding speeches relatively short, especially if there will be multiple speeches such as the father of the bride speech, the best man speech, and the maid of honor speech. You don't want the speeches to cut into the dinner and dancing portion of the wedding reception. According to Dent, about three minutes is the sweet spot for a groom's speech. That would equate to about 300-400 written words, depending on how quickly you speak.

How to Write a Groom Speech

A groom speech template.

Every groom's speech will be unique and different depending on their personality, what they'd like to share, and who they want to thank. But, in case you need some guidance, here's an outline of a structure Dent recommends following as you write your groom's speech. Whatever you do, Dent adds, ensure that you tap into your emotions and write your groom toast from the heart.

Thank your new spouse. First and foremost, start by thanking your new spouse and say a few words about how much this new phase of your relationship means to you.

Thank VIPs in your life. This could be your own parents, mother and father in-law, friends, family members, your wedding party (bridesmaids and groomsmen), or anyone else who made the wedding day possible.

Share a story. Next, follow the thank yous with a story. Dent suggests a positive anecdote that illustrates the road you and your new spouse had to travel to make it to this milestone.

End with a toast. And last but not least, Dent recommends concluding the groom speech with a toast to your forever partner and a lifetime of love together.

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Who does the groom thank in his speech.

"Grooms should thank everyone that made an impact not only on their wedding day but on their relationship as a whole," Dent says. "Most grooms thank both families and members of the wedding party." Be sure to include a thank you to anyone else who is particularly special and those who traveled far as well, she adds. You can also throw in a quick thank you to your wedding vendors (wedding planner, photographers, staff, etc.) for making the wedding day possible.

That said, ensure you keep the focus of your speech on your significant other. "While it's important to thank the people in attendance and the people who made this day possible, at the end of the day, it comes down to you and your new spouse — and your speech should reflect that," Dent says.

How to Give a Groom Speech

Groom speech jokes.

For jokes in a groom speech, Dent's best piece of advice is to know your audience. For instance, a dirty joke may be funny at an adults-only wedding reception but not appropriate if kids are in attendance. Use your best judgment on whether a joke will be well received. Also, Dent recommends avoiding inside jokes as only a handful of guests would understand them and can make things feel awkward if the joke doesn't land. If you're unsure of what joke to include, Dent's fail-proof groom's speech joke is to mention how guests are here for dinner drinks and not to listen to long speeches like these.

Groom Speech Example

Got writer's block? No worries. Below Dent shares a fully written groom's speech you can use as inspiration.

"Good evening everyone!

I know everyone is probably dreading one of my infamous and long-winded stories right now, but I promise to keep it short so we can all hit the dance floor.

I wanted to take a few moments to express my appreciation for all the support we've received; it has made this day and evening one to remember. There are too many people that I am utterly indebted to for helping our wedding go off without a hitch, but I want to shout out our photographer, our wedding party, and our parents in particular. To all of our guests, who traveled from both near and far, I appreciate each and every one of you for taking the time out of your lives to celebrate Alex and me. This day would not be nearly as magical without you all here, and I'm incredibly grateful for your presence.

Quite a few of you are involved in our love story and have played an integral role in us making it to this amazing milestone in life. I want to give special thanks to Alex's family in particular. You have accepted me entirely, you treat me as if I was your own, and you have really helped Alex and me over the years when times were tough. I have felt such a level of acceptance from all of you in a way that I never could have expected. Marie and Dan, you have truly raised a wonderful human, and all she is is because of you.

Now for my own family! Mom and Dad, thank you for the unwavering emotional support you have shown me throughout the years. You have given me more grace than I deserve and have loved Sam like she's your own. I aspire to have a marriage half as strong and a love half as unrelenting as yours.

Once again, thank you Trina, Kari, Tom, and Rick for helping us make it down the aisle. You guys are the best friends and most epic entourage that a guy could ask for.

Last of all, thank you, Alex. I still cannot believe how lucky I am.

Let's raise a glass to each other, to love, and to happily ever after.

How to End the Groom Speech

The end of any speech tends to be the most memorable as it's the last thing your guests will hear so you really want to make it count. Don't let this stress you out though. Dent says keeping the groom speech close super simple is best. She recommends simply raising a glass to your new spouse and toasting to many happy years of marriage. Classic, short, and to the point—you can't go wrong.

Write the groom speech on paper.

Although it may be tempting to just read your speech off your phone, Dent advices writing it on paper or printing it out instead. "Reading from a piece of paper is much more visually appealing, and it'll look much more timeless when you look back at your photos," she says.

Practice, practice, practice.

Preparing for public speaking requires repetition. Even though you'll be reading it off the paper and don't need to memorize it, be sure to still practice reciting it a few times before the wedding day so you feel confident in your delivery and can maintain a nice rhythm and eye contact. Dent suggests practicing in front of close friends and family as well who can provide feedback on the content and the delivery. "You want to be sure that they are happy with the speech and that it is reflective of both partners," Dent says.

What NOT to Say in a Groom Speech

When it comes to what not to say in a groom's speech, negativity is definitely at the top of the list. "Focus on the amazing wedding day and the joy it has brought — even if everything about the wedding has not gone as planned," Dent says. Also, she adds, avoid sharing embarrassing stories about your new spouse in your speech, unless, of course, you've discussed it with them and it's an interesting or funny anecdote that would entertain your guests.

A Historic Look into Indonesian Wedding Traditions, A Fusion of Cultures

In a rapidly modernising Indonesia, many old traditions and attire have gradually faded from daily life. However, wedding celebrations still show a vital link to the past, where old customs, some centuries old, remain a testament to Indonesia’s rich heritage, showcasing the diverse influences that have shaped the nation’s identity. In this article, Sake Santema from Indies Gallery , will share a small window in time, showcasing a collection of his antique prints and photographs depicting mid to late 19th century wedding scenes. 

Shown in the 1883 lithograph above is a Muslim wedding procession in Java. The groom rides a horse while the bride is carried on a palanquin with a swan motif on top. At the front of the procession is the presence of Ondel-ondel, which refers to the Betawi Java folk performance and the puppets that provide protection against evil spirits. 

Ondel-ondel is one of a few Indonesian folk performances that has survived and is still being regularly performed but shifted mostly from a protective performance against evil spirits into street entertainment. Indonesian Muslim weddings are often filled with intricate ornaments, vibrant colours, and grand processions. Many of these are believed to be influenced by ancient traditions and civilisations dating back to the Hindu-Buddhist era, which flourished up until the 1500’s in Maritime Southeast Asia. Particularly in the ancient Majapahit kingdoms of Java and later Bali, many of today’s wedding traditions are believed to be influenced by those times. 

The Indonesian archipelago spreads from Sabang north of Western Sumatra to Merauke in Southern Papua, a distance of 5200 kilometres. With a diversity of over 1300 recognised ethnic groups and a staggering 700 unique languages, the country is home to a myriad of wedding traditions. Below are three intriguing and perhaps lesser-known wedding customs. 

In the matrilineal (through the mother line) Minangkabau culture of Sumatra, the bride and her family make the marriage proposal and are involved in most of the wedding plans; the father of the bride holds little authority in these matters. Any children born from the union inherit the clan or surname of the bride. 

Among the Tidung people of Borneo, a ritual prohibits newly wedded couples from using the toilet for 72 hours immediately after their wedding ceremony; doing this is believed to bring forth a multitude of blessings to the marriage. Family members are put in place who ensure that they are fed with small quantities of food and liquid while offering moral support to help them successfully navigate through this period of abstinence. 

In Lombok, the Sasak people have a tradition called the Merariq, also referred to as the “Kidnapping of the Bride”. The bride-to-be must be secretly abducted from her house at night to avoid any commotion. Should there be a commotion, the groom would be fined. The couple are no strangers to each other, as it is common that the couple has been dating for quite some time. But once the “kidnapping” has taken place, there often is no turning back. 

These studio portraits capture a bride and groom in a photo studio in Batavia around the year 1870, elegantly dressed in traditional attire. Both are adorned with clusters of jasmine flowers as a symbol for purity, sincerity, and loyalty. Jasmine flowers in wedding attire are also found in Indian and Arabic culture. It is not certain if these two young people were a couple, or that they were just posing for the photograph. 

Early studio photographs and published prints often lack accuracy for various reasons. One of these reasons is that photographers aimed to capture multiple details within a single composition, leading to a hybrid of styles. And in early prints depicting Indonesian scenes, European print makers would improvise by combining gathered information, resulting in a blend of various details within a single print. 

But most of all, fashion in the port cities of Asia, including the prominent city of Batavia, has been shaped by the influence of trade. The exchange of Chinese and European textiles, as well as those originating from various regions within islands in Southeast Asia, was facilitated through these bustling trade routes. Clothing and textiles of diverse origins were worn together, and produced a range of cultural reactions. While local production contributed to the fashion scene, the availability of imported varieties further enriched the sartorial landscape of these port cities. 

This lithograph from the year 1852 shows a Sundanese groom dressed in his wedding attire, complete with a traditional dagger known as a kris. In the background, the groom’s father keeps a close eye on his soon-to-be-married son. The kris holds significant importance in Javanese wedding customs, as it is an integral part of the groom’s ensemble. It is customary for the kris to be adorned with delicate chains of jasmine flower arrangements. These floral adornments symbolise the groom’s desire to demonstrate thoughtfulness and patience in his marriage. 

In his hands, he delicately holds a few betel leaves. Across Malay, Straits Chinese, and Hindu cultures, the betel leaves and nuts symbolise courtship and play a prominent role in betrothal rituals. Even in present-day Malay weddings, the betel leaf continues to be featured in various forms. For instance, the Sirih lat-lat, a small floral arrangement adorned with betel leaves, is traditionally presented to the groom on the wedding day. This gesture signifies the bride’s preparedness to receive the groom and his entourage, marking an important moment in the wedding celebration. 

This studio portrait, taken circa 1860, shows a Chinese bride from Batavia (Jakarta) in wedding attire. During the late 19th century, while some Chinese immigrants and their descendants embraced Dutch customs and lifestyles, others retained a strong connection to their Chinese roots. However, in this photograph, we witness a fusion of styles, indicating the blending of different influences over time. The headdress and footwear exhibit distinct Chinese characteristics. She wears a Chinese style skirt with a Baju Kurung, a garment worn in the islands of Southeast Asia, Sri Lanka, and Goa. Notably, the bride’s jewellery showcases a vibrant combination of Chinese and indigenous designs. 

Whether it is a traditional Javanese, Sasak or Minangkabau wedding, or a fusion of cultures, the essence of Indonesian weddings lies in the celebration of love, unity, and the coming together of families.

The antique photographs and prints shown in this article are offered for purchase by Indies Gallery, a dealer in authentic maps, prints, books, and photographs, dating from the fifteenth to the twentieth century. Read the full descriptions on indiesgallery.com Indies Gallery also offers these decorative artworks as reprints. You will find these at oldeastindies.com

Sake Santema

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Groom Speech Examples

The groom often gets a good roasting from the best man, so the groom’s speech is a chance to get in a few jokes of his own! As well as thanking the wedding party and both sets of parents, what all the guests are waiting for are some romantic and heartfelt words about his new spouse. You’ll find plenty of example groom speeches to help inspire you when the time comes to write yours, plus jokes and delivery tips.

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Voices of Love: Unforgettable Wedding Speeches

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Wedding speeches are an essential part of every wedding. They let all the members of the bridal party and guests share their overwhelming emotions about the big day. Best wedding speeches stay in our memory forever, marking the significance of the wedding day for everyone involved. It can be quite challenging to fit all the feelings you want to share into a single toast . In this article, you will find invaluable tips from the expert Amanda Layton, an experienced wedding vow and speechwriter, in crafting memorable wedding speeches.

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Wedding Speeches Examples

Best wedding speeches.

Writing a wedding speech can seem daunting, but with some preparation and guidance, you can deliver a heartfelt and memorable speech that will be cherished by the newlyweds and their guests.

Good evening, everyone. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Sarah, and I’m the ___ I’ve known the bride, Emily, since we were little girls, and we’ve been best friends ever since. I remember the first time she told me about Alex, and how excited she was to go on a date with him. From that moment on, I knew he was something special. Seeing them together over the years has been such a joy, and I’m so happy to be here today to celebrate their love. Emily, you are the most kind, caring, and generous person I know. And Alex, you are her perfect match. I’ve never seen her so happy as she is with you. I know you will continue to be each other’s best friend, confidant, and partner in all of life’s adventures. So, let’s raise a glass to the newlyweds. May your love continue to grow stronger with each passing day. Congratulations!

Groom Wedding Speech

“I would like to thank my parents for all the help they have given me over the years, if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be here now. I would also like to thank (my wife’s) parents for making me feel like the son they never wanted, sorry the son they never had, right from day 2. Day 1 was a bit rough, but hey, they’re over it now. I would also like to thank them for having such a beautiful, intelligent, kind, and caring daughter. I hope to do you both proud and thank you both for everything you have done today and to make today happen.”

The groom’s wedding speech starts at the reception. On behalf of himself and his bride, he expresses his gratitude to everyone involved in the wedding preparations. He toasts his parents, bridesmaids, and the groom’s party, and mentions their help and support. His speech is often quite sentimental, as he shares some personal memories. He also mentions how his life has changed since he met his bride.

Wedding Speeches for Parents

When the kids find love, the parents are also happy. So, it rests upon them to give wedding reception speeches in honor of their children. Now, depending on the chosen style, you’ll have to fit in with the wedding theme. Most times, a funny speech is just perfect, because it works for every wedding. Below, we’ll see wedding speech examples for different parents.

Wedding Speeches for Mother of the Groom

“The first time I saw you, it was love. My little baby grew into a wobbly toddler, and then a smart child. The pre-teen and teen years and the next thing I knew, you’ve become a man. I am so proud of you. You’ve made us proud of everything you’ve done. And on your wedding today, we wish you only the best.”

As a mother of the groom, wedding speeches for your son will be an emotional one. You’ll talk about his growing up, the bond you share, and how he was well-raised. You can add one or two romantic quotes  and close. See the wedding speeches sample below.

Wedding Speeches for Mother of the Bride

“It’s no news that we love our kids so much, and seeing them grow up is hard. Everything they do fills you with pride. But you also miss the little girl who cuddles into you. And cried to you when she scraped her knee. Now my daughter is older and I’m grateful and proud that she found love in the groom. May your lives be long, happy, and peaceful together.”

The wedding speeches for mother of the bride isn’t a norm. But today, it’s becoming acceptable especially if the father isn’t involved. Tell your daughter that she’s beautiful and strong. Talk about the good memories in her growing years. And if her father has passed, talk about him with fondness.

Wedding Speeches for Father of the Groom

“My greatest blessing is having a son, one that mirrors me in many ways. But like his dream, he’s grown into his own person. He has taught me as much as I’ve taught him and I’m proud. My son is someone who goes the extra mile for people and I know he’ll make an amazing husband. I wish you every best, as we raise our glass to the groom and his amazing bride.”

Your son getting married excites you because he carries on the torch. Again, he will be looking to you for support and wisdom for marriage. So, good wedding speeches from the father of the groom must contain lots of quotes about marriage . Draw inspiration from talking about your own marriage, the bond you share, and why he’s a great son.

Wedding Speeches for Father of the Bride

“Looking at both of you in your beautiful dress and dapper suit, my wedding day comes to mind. We were quite excited, filled with love, merriment, and of course nervousness. From me to you, I’ll tell you for free that a successful marriage requires falling in love many times. And doing it with the same person always.”

As the father of the bride, you have responsibilities to your baby girl. From walking her down the aisle to the father-daughter dance. Throwing in a great speech is just perfect. Let your love for your baby shine through and talk about her growing up. Remember the groom, give them pieces of advice, and your best wishes. See the wedding speeches template below for some inspiration.

Wedding Speeches for Sister

Ladies and gentlemen, today I stand before you with immense pride and joy as I celebrate my sister’s union with [Groom’s Name]. As her older sister, I’ve had the privilege of watching her grow into the amazing woman she is today. She has found in [Groom’s Name] the love and support she deserves. Here’s to a lifetime filled with love, laughter, and cherished memories. Cheers to the newlyweds!

When delivering a wedding speech for your sister, begin by expressing your love and pride for her. Share heartfelt stories that illustrate her special qualities, highlight her relationship with the groom, and offer well-wishes for their future. End your speech by raising a toast to the newlyweds.

Best Man Wedding Speech

Take a look at this great example of a witty speech, presented by the best man.

“There comes a time in everyone’s life when they meet their one true love, their soul mate, the person that’s going to know and love them for the rest of their life. That moment came for the groom…3 years ago when he met me. Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, for those of you that don’t know me my name, is Dan, What-would-you-like-to-drink. I hope you’ll come and say hello at the bar later, but please…call me by my full name. On behalf of the bride and groom, I’d like to thank you all for coming. And I want to give special thanks to the parents of the bride and groom… it’s amazing how far some people are willing to travel, just for some free food and drink. And finally, I’d like to thank my best friend (the groom), for giving me the first EVER opportunity…. to be able to speak for five minutes without him interrupting!”

“They say, in a good marriage the husband is the head, and the wife is the heart. So let us drink to the fact that our young people did not know in life either headaches or heartaches!”

“Love is not a fire, it will catch fire, you will not put out. In the hearts of our young people, the fire of love burns. This is a sacred fire. So, fill our glasses and amicably drink to ensure that it never goes out in their hearts!”

“I drink to ensure that our newly married and in 10 years and 20 years of family life, looking at his charming wife, lost his head, but not reason.”

“Friends! I offer a drink for a kiss! After all, he came up with a man, because he did not find any other way to close a mouth to a woman.”

Wedding speeches best man deliver are usually the most humorous of all the others. Thank you’s are also appropriate, especially to the bridesmaids and fellow groomsmen. Some anecdotes about the groom would be also much anticipated. People expect wedding best man speeches to be memorable, funny, with well wishes to the couple . Humor is a must.

100+ Best Wedding Toasts For Different Types Of Guests

Maid of honor speech outline.

“Before I go any further, I just want to say, Bride, you look absolutely beautiful and Groom, you’ve never looked more handsome. For those of you who don’t know me and for those who can’t tell, I’m Bride’s sister. Thank you Bride for the honor of being your bridesmaid. Obviously, I’ve known Bride all of my life and we know more about each other than we would probably care to. We’ve laughed together, cried together, and laughed until we’ve cried. We’ve also had the odd fight! We also have so many inside jokes that only we find funny.”

“A real woman can make a man who surrendered to her, always think that he is the winner. Look at our groom. He looks like a winner. Therefore, let us drink to his beautiful victory and the woman who allowed herself to be defeated, the bride.”

“What is the difference between the fairy tale and the reality? A fairy tale is when he married a snake, and she became a princess. A reality when it on the contrary. Let the life of our newlyweds be like a fairy tale!”

There is one thing all wedding speeches maid of honor makes have in common: they boost the bride. Like any other wedding speech, the maid of honor’s speech can be witty and humorous, but the most important feature of this category is love and sentimentality. Add a couple of memorable stories you have of the newlyweds. Don’t forget well wishes!

Wedding Speeches for Best Friends

“I’m here to talk about two very special people, John and Eve. I’ve been friends with Eve since kindergarten. On our first day at school, we met and formed a friendship that has lived two decades and some. We got into trouble a lot and got grounded many times by the parents. My bestie is free-spirited and has a strong will to date. James, I hope you’re prepared for marriage with a woman who is full of life and spirit. With her, you’ll never live the same day twice. I wish you heaven’s best all your life. A toast…”

Wedding Welcoming Speeches

“Welcome to the celebration of James and Eve’s wedding. A tale of love that promises to last forever. Today promises to be one of beauty, friendships formed, and bonds lasting forever. For you all who have come from far and near to celebrate, we hope you take joy home with you. The happiness of marriage is the highest happiness on earth. And this is what we’ve witnessed today. Sit back, relax, have the time of your lives, and thank you for choosing to share in our joy.

Funny Wedding Speeches

Good evening everyone! For those who don’t know me, I’m the groom’s brother. I’d like to start by saying that I’m delighted to see so many people here tonight, and I hope you’re all enjoying the celebrations as much as we are. Now, it’s not often that you get to make a speech at your brother’s wedding, so I thought I’d take this opportunity to share a few stories about him. Growing up, my brother was always the smart one. He was top of his class and excelled at everything he did. And then he met his beautiful bride-to-be, and everything changed. Suddenly he became clumsy, forgetful, and absent-minded. I guess you could say that love really does make you do crazy things. But in all seriousness, I couldn’t be happier for the two of them. They truly are a perfect match, and I have no doubt that they will have a long and happy life together. So let’s raise a glass to the newlyweds – may your marriage be filled with love, laughter, and lots of adventures!

Writing a funny wedding speech can entertain guests and create lasting memories. Keep it appropriate, short, know your audience, and practice for a smooth delivery.

Short Wedding Speeches

“Groom, thank you for being an anchor, a friend, and brother. And I can’t be more proud that you married an amazing bride. Man! You’ve won a lottery! We celebrate both of you tonight, and all of the good things you are. You care for everyone and I’m sure you’ll care for her. We wish you success, laughter, and love. May your humor in bad times and appreciation in good times never leave you. May you get answers to prayers. May the friendship you share keep growing till death parts you. Cheers to you!”

Whether you’re giving wedding speeches for the bride, best man, or brother; the shorter the better. This will help make sure you don’t bore the audience. 11 /14

Wedding Thank You Speeches

“We (couple) worked really hard to make this day perfect. But we remembered that being bound to the one you love in the presence of your loved ones — is what makes the day perfect. I’m overjoyed that we had beautiful weather. The food and drinks were great and everyone is happy. Thank you all, especially my beloved, because today I’m bound to him to start a beautiful journey together. And after all my fears and jitters, today turned out to be much more memorable than we planned. Thank you.”

Wedding thank you speeches give you the opportunity to thank your guests. You will also extend your appreciation to everyone who made your day possible. If you intend to mention names, have a list, so that you don’t leave anyone out. This speech can come from the bride or groom. But it’s always better to skip the names. Also, infuse some humor. 12 /14

Wedding Officiant Speeches

“Shall we all sit? Today, we gather to witness and celebrate the matrimony of Eve and James. What they have is an existing bond, and we’ve come together to strengthen it. As family and friends, it’s our honor to witness today. Marriage is a lifetime commitment where two people work tirelessly to bring out the best in each other. You get an opportunity to share your joys, success, failures, and burdens with an ally for life. You get an opportunity to share and grow. One relationship which no other can equal. You are in for a physical and emotional binding that has the promise of a lifetime.”

Great wedding officiant speeches must be short, sweet, and have the perfect length to keep guests dialed in. The officiant should leverage the relationship and how much they know the couple. You must also tailor your speech in line with the wedding style. 13 /14

Wedding Anniversary Speeches

“Anniversaries are beautiful recollections of the past years and reflections for the years to come. The years past were happy and successful ones in many ways. They’re shrouded in a kaleidoscope of great relationships, supportive families, and happy memories. I’m not saying it’s smooth, but with your support, the journey became easier. We can only be grateful, even as we look forward to better years. As we celebrate our 50th year, I want to thank you for walking with us. It’s not a question of where you, it’s who goes with you. Thank you, everyone.”

A wedding anniversary speech must be heartfelt, sweet, and short. Whoever is giving the speech must know that it’s a time to reminisce and give good wishes. So, you’ll talk about the marriage, throw in some humor and bless the couple. If it’s the couple giving the speech, some advice will go a long way. 14 /14

Wedding Quotes for Speeches

“I’ve seen nothing more satisfying than two people coming together to become one. They share in each other’s pleasure, and bear each other’s pain. They crush their enemies together and make home with their friends.” “The pain and weight of life vanish from our lives by one word. It sets us free and we live again. It’s called LOVE.” “If you want to keep your marriage cup filled and running over, always admit your wrongs. And, if you’re right, be kind to shut up.”

Wedding Speeches Tips

Ready to seize the mic, command the room, and leave everyone applauding your wedding speech? Not quite yet? Amanda Layton, a Professional Wedding Speech Writer, shared top 5 tips to help you craft and deliver an epic wedding speech. With a little bit of guidance, you’ll be delivering an unforgettable toast that captures hearts and makes memories for years to come!

• Keep it Short and Sweet First things first–when it comes to wedding speeches less is more. Did you know that a 5-minute speech is approximately 700 words? It’s important to keep your speech concise and to the point, ensuring that every word is impactful and resonates with the audience.
• Skip the Roasts Steer clear of roasting the couple. It might sound funny in your head, but trust me, some things are better left unsaid. Avoid cringeworthy moments by focusing on heartwarming and positive anecdotes that celebrate the couple’s journey and love.
• Harness the Power of Storytelling Capture everyone’s attention by using storytelling to highlight either the bride or groom’s wonderful qualities. Is she loyal, adventurous, generous, or kind-hearted? Is he optimistic, resilient, hilarious, etc? Share a touching story that really showcases one of these character traits, allowing everyone to get a deeper insight into how amazing this person truly is.
• Celebrate the Path to Becoming a Husband or Wife Remember that this is a wedding celebration and your wedding speech is a great opportunity to encourage the bride in her new role as a wife or the groom in his new role as a husband. Share your heartfelt wishes and why you believe they will make an amazing partner in this new chapter of their life.
• Practice Makes Perfect Confidence is key! Practice your speech a few times to build up your self-assurance. Remember to speak slowly when practicing because you are more likely to speed up in front of a crowd. Think of the areas you might tear up at and remember to pause and take a second to breathe. You don’t have to rush through the toast. Everyone wants to hear what you clearly have to say. Here’s the thing, the audience wants you to succeed, so embrace those nerves and let them fuel your confident delivery! You’ve got this, my friend! With these tips and a little bit of preparation, your speech is bound to be a show-stopper that leaves everyone applauding and reaching for the tissues! Crafting a memorable wedding speech is an art form, and your words have the power to touch hearts and create lasting memories.

Wedding Speeches Order

The order of wedding speeches can vary depending on cultural traditions and personal preferences. However, a common order for wedding speeches is as follows:

• Father of the Bride: Welcomes guests, and expresses love and pride for his daughter.
• Groom: Thanks guests, expresses gratitude to both families, and shares love for the bride.
• Best Man: Shares humorous anecdotes about the groom, and proposes a toast.
• Maid/Matron of Honor: Expresses friendship and admiration for the bride, offers wisdom, and proposes a toast.
• Additional speeches: Other family members or friends may give shorter speeches or toasts as desired. Note: The order and inclusion of speeches can be customized to the couple’s preferences. Communication with the wedding party beforehand is essential for a smooth flow of the reception.

Wedding Speeches Template

Introduction:

• Greet the guests and introduce yourself.
• Express your gratitude for being chosen to speak at the wedding.

Personal Connection:

• Share a personal story or memory about the couple.
• Talk about your relationship with either the bride or groom (or both) and how you’ve seen their love grow.

Compliments and Qualities:

• Compliment the couple individually and as a pair.
• Highlight their qualities and what makes them a great match.

Anecdotes and Humor:

• Share light-hearted and funny anecdotes about the couple.
• Keep the humor appropriate and avoid embarrassing stories.

Words of Wisdom:

• Offer advice or lessons on love, marriage, or relationships.
• Use heartfelt and meaningful quotes or poems if desired.
• Raise a toast to the couple’s happiness and future together.
• Invite guests to join in raising their glasses and toasting.
• Express well wishes and congratulations to the newlyweds.
• End with a final heartfelt message or a toast to love.

Remember to personalize the speech to your relationship with the couple and make it heartfelt and authentic. Practice it beforehand to ensure a smooth delivery and consider keeping the speech around 3-5 minutes in length.

Things You’d Better Exclude From Any Wedding Speech

At the same time, there are things great wedding speeches avoid.

• Do not include any embarrassing information.
• Do not mention previous boyfriends or girlfriends of the newlyweds.
• Do not say rude things like ‘We thought that day would never come’.
• Do not include any crude language, there are all sorts of guests around, and what is totally appropriate in a group of friends is inappropriate at the celebration.
• Adding humor, don’t make fun of the bride or groom. This is your best friend’s wedding, do not spoil it! If in doubt – use examples above, but by no means copy them. It is only a piece of speech to boost your imagination.

Wedding Speeches can be tricky to write, but we hope that now you have everything you need to deliver a perfect speech. A couple of jokes, a sentimental story, and letting your love for the couple shine is all it takes.

What Not to Say in a Wedding Speech

• Embarrassing Stories : Steer clear of tales that could embarrass the couple.
• Negative Remarks : Refrain from negative comments or jokes.
• Excessive Inside Jokes : Ensure your speech is inclusive for all guests.
• Lengthy Monologues : Keep it concise and engaging.
• Controversial Topics : Avoid sensitive or controversial subjects.
• Overuse of Clichés : Aim for originality over clichés.
• Inappropriate Humor : Be mindful of cultural or personal sensitivities.

Frequently Asked Questions

What do you say in a wedding speech.

• Express your love and support for the couple.
• Share personal anecdotes or stories about them.
• Offer well-wishes for their future together.

What is a good speech to give at a wedding?

• A good wedding speech is heartfelt and genuine.
• It engages the audience with humor or sentiment.
• It balances praise, personal stories, and wishes for the couple.

What is an example of a short marriage speech?

To [Couple’s Name], may your love be as endless as the horizon, your laughter as infectious as a melody, and your journey together full of joy. Here’s to a lifetime of love and happiness. Cheers!

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GROOM SPEECH STRUCTURE

Wondering how to put together a speech for your wedding and what the groom speech structure should actually be? We’ve provided a simple guide to what you should include in your speech on your wedding day.

Let’s be clear for starters, there’s no right or wrong way groom speech template to use. You can include anything you want in your speech – it is your wedding day after all!

There’s also no requirement whatsoever on length. Make it as long or short as you are comfortable with and use these groom’s speech examples for some inspiration.

While you might well want to make things special to you, your new wife, your families and guests with some personal touches and stories, there are several things that you should definitely include in your speech.

• The Ultimate Guide to Wedding Speeches & Toasts . Our go-to guide.
• Groom’s Speech.  Deliver an amazing Groom wedding speech. Groom speech examples .
• Best Man Speech.  Create an awesome best man speech. Example best man speeches .
• Father of the Bride Speech .  A heartfelt father of bride speech. Example father speeches .
• Sample Toasts & Speech Quotes . One liners, funny quotes, love parables and much more.
• Recent Wedding Speech Posts . Latest blog posts about wedding speeches and toasts.

A great way to start your speech, for example, is to begin with the words “My wife and I…”. It will be the first time you have addressed anyone as husband and wife and it gets the speech off to a great start.

Don’t forget the thank yous either. Get off to the right start with your new father in law by thanking him for his kind words, if he has delivered his speech before you, and your mother in law if she has performed a speech too.

Thank you guests for coming and being part of your special day, thank your own family for all the help you have received, and also anyone who has gone the extra mile in the build up to the wedding. And finish by thanking your new wife, giving her some flattery in the process too.

FUNNY ANECDOTES / STORIES

This is now your stage and certainly the time to include some groom’s speech jokes . The formalities are out of the way. Start with a gag or a one-liner and you’ll be off and running. Use props to add to the stories you are telling.

Tell a story or two about how you met, how you fell in love and why you knew she was the one for you. Entertain guests with some of the funny moments of relationships, buying your new house or living together for the first time, a holiday moment or something that will make the guests laugh. Even talk about something poignant in your speech at this stage if there is something close to your hearts.

RAISE A TOAST TO THE BRIDE

End the speech with a return to the formalities. After a special message to your new wife make a brief comment to the guests – “Finally, I would like to say thank you again to all of you for celebrating with us today” or something similar – and get the wedding breakfast to raise a toast to your new wife:  “And could you all please raise your glasses to my beautiful wife, the one I love…”

HAND OVER TO THE BEST MAN

It is time for you to take a deep breath, sit back and relax and have a bit of fun poked your way by your best man. At the end of your speech, hand over to him and prepare to be the center of the ribbing.

How to Write a Short and Simple Groom Speech

The Groom Speech is one of the most important pieces of the wedding ‘jigsaw’.

Get it right and you’ll be a hero in the eyes of your new Bride and leave your guests with big smiles on their faces.

Get it wrong and there could be a big, embarrassing hole in the middle of an otherwise perfect day.

So the pressure’s on and while the Groom speech is not a hard one to pull off, it’s also an easy one to screw up.

But there’s no need to panic! Take a deep breath, think calming thoughts and read my Stress-Free Guide to Writing a Short and Simple Groom Speech .

An Effective Groom Speech is as Simple as ABC

Some Groom speeches are masterpieces of speechwriting - full of touching stories, memorable details and clever jokes.

But the truth is that as long as you include just three essential elements you can deliver a rock-solid Groom speech that ticks all the right boxes.

So here’s my ABC for an effective Groom speech, which tells you exactly what to say, and when to say it…

A is for… Acknowledgements

This is non-negotiable - acknowledging the important people in your life, particularly those who’ve helped with the arrangements for the big day.

Forget to say “thank you” and you’ll not only look ungrateful but your speech could leave a bad taste in the mouth of anyone who felt they deserved a quick mention.

And remember, even if you’ve thanked someone in person - or plan to - nothing can quite replace giving them public recognition in front of the other guests.

”Thank You” Checklist

Here’s a checklist of people you might want to thank:

• The Father of the Bride for his toast to you and the Bride
• Your parents for their support over the years
• The Bride’s parents for:a) bringing up your wonderful wife, andb) for welcoming you into their family
• Your Groomsmen for their help on and before the big day
• The Bridesmaids for the help they’ve given the Bride

”Thank You” Gifts

If you intend to hand out any gifts you can do this as part of the acknowledgements.

Absent Family and Friends

It’s also customary to acknowledge absent family and friends.

This can be a poignant moment so make sure there’s a brief pause to remember important people, before diving into…

B is for… Bride

Once you’ve shown your gratitude by acknowledging all the key wedding players, it’s time to get to the main topic of your speech, which is of course - the Bride!

Yes, the thank you’s are absolutely essential, but they’re really just a polite preamble. It’s the bit where you start to talk fondly about your new wife that your guests are really looking forward to hearing.

Even if you’re the strong, silent type, your wedding day is the one occasion where you get to show your softer side and let a few honest feelings show through.

But don’t worry, it’s dead easy to write a crowd-pleasing Groom speech. Because although the Best Man’s speech, for example, is expected to be funny, all that the Groom’s speech really needs to be is sincere - and a little romantic.

In the spirit of minimalism, here’s a simple template to use if you’re lost for words when it comes to talking about your beautiful Bride:

• Tell the story of how you first met
• Say what you love about her - illustrated with a quick anecdote
• Tell us something about your hopes and plans for your future together

Do this right and you’ll score some serious points with your new wife and have all the guests (well the women at least!) thinking you’re the ultimate romantic hero!

C is for… Cheers!

So you’ve thanked everyone who needs thanking and you’ve made your new Bride swoon with some well-chosen words straight from the heart.

Job done, right? Time to sit down.

Well, not quite.

Wrap it up and end on a high

All good speeches have a clear beginning, middle and an end, and the Groom speech is no exception. You’ve just nailed the beginning and the middle, so let’s wrap things up neatly and end on a high.

Nothing gets a more enthusiastic response than an invitation to drink, and it’s traditional for the Groom’s speech to end with a toast to the Bridesmaids.

In an ultra-minimal Groom speech you could simply thank everyone for listening and immediately propose the toast.

However, it’s nice to acknowledge the next speaker - usually the Best Man - before you sit back down (and hopefully receive a big kiss from your wife).

A simple template for the perfect ending

So, with that in mind, here’s a quick guide to the perfect ending:

• Thank everyone for listening and say it’ll soon be time for the Best Man to speak
• Say a few short words about the Best Man and how much you’re looking forward to his speech
• Raise a toast to the Bridesmaids and hand straight over to the Best Man (or the MC)

So that’s it! You’ve reached the end of my Minimalist Guide.

Hopefully the prospect of writing your Groom speech is now about as stressful as gently raking the sand in your Zen garden whilst listening to an iPod full of whale song.

Now take a deep breath in, hold it for a few seconds, then slowly exhale any remaining worries and fears about your speech.

Just pick up a notepad and your favourite pen, and get writing.

Read More Like This

Boring! 5 Groom Speech Clichés That Make You Seem Dull and Unoriginal

Groom Speech: Common Questions

Funny Groom Speech Example

The Ultimate Groom's Wedding Speech Checklist

Don't leave anyone or anything important off your list of thank yous.

The groom's wedding speech is often about covering all bases. It doesn't have the bravado and general LOLs of a best man speech , the gushing and poignant words of a bridesmaid speech, or all the nostalgia and tear-jerking words of a father of the bride or groom speech. Instead, a groom's speech is half admin, half emotion; kind of like an Oscar acceptance! A chance to shout out the wedding party, thank the ushers, and tell your new in-laws how chuffed you are to be part of the family. To help you write your speech - and to make sure you don't leave anyone out - we've put together a handy groom's wedding speech checklist . You'll thank us later!

A groom doing a speech solo is more common, but we've also seen lots of couples do their thank you speech together , as well as brides making speeches too ( more ladies on the mic please !). Our list covers all bases and standard family structures, but tweak it as is appropriate for you. Hopefully it comes in handy whatever kind of wedding thank you speech you're making.

Groom's Wedding Speech Checklist

(In no particular order, but this order makes for a nice crescendo!)

• Thank the guests for coming - give a special shout out to anyone who's come a long way
• Thank any staff or suppliers who worked on the day - only those present
• Thank the celebrant - if present
• Thank anyone who helped in the lead up to the day (outside of the wedding party and immediate family) - any one who gave lifts, stitched bunting, glued centrepieces, etc.
• Thank anyone who took part in the day itself - ceremony readings , music, wedding cake baker, etc
• Mention your new parents in law and siblings - this is a good time to tell them how happy you are to join the family, how welcome/terrified they made you feel, how you promise to be there for their son or daughter/brother or sister.
• Mention your siblings  - be specific about things they helped you with or special memories. This is also a good time to mention any other special family members, grandparents, step-parents, etc.
• Mention your parents - if both your parents are present, thank them both individually, usually an anecdote about the kind of person they've taught you to be goes down well.
• Thank your wedding party - make sure both sides get a mention, though it's fine to gush a bit harder about your best man!
• Thank your other half - for marrying you, for looking fabulous, for being wonderful, and all the other good things you can think of. Remember to tell them all about why you love them and why you can't wait to get started with married life!

Need more help with your wedding speeches - we've got you covered!

• 30 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches
• How to Begin a Wedding Speech: Great Opening Lines
• The Correct Order of Speeches at a Wedding?
• 9 Ways to Shake Up Your Wedding Speeches
• How to Give a Flawless Best Man Speech
• Everything You Need To Play Wedding Speech Bingo

Listen & Subscribe to The One Fab Day Wedding Podcast

Episode 22: wedding speeches 101.

You can listen to the One Fab Day Wedding Podcast wherever you get your podcasts , and search them on Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Image credits

Tomasz kornas photography, via one fab day, see more in:.

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How to write a Groom’s wedding speech

Nail your nerves and craft a groom’s speech that’ll blow your wedding guests away.

As a groom, what makes the perfect wedding speech? Should you be funny like the best man? Emotional like the maid of honour ? Or pull the heart strings like the father of the bride? Well, the answer is, a little bit of each would be ideal! With some admin thrown in. Unlike many of the other wedding speeches being given on the day, the groom’s speech is basically one big thank you. There’s no set things you should say, no style it has to be written in, or reaction it needs to receive. Essentially, you just have to praise and complement those closest to you for all their hard work ( and money ), while thanking the assembled guests for being there. Easy, right…?

If you’re not used to speaking in public, or you’re unsure of exactly how to lay out your speech, don’t worry. We’ve put together some easy-to-follow tips that’ll help you write the perfect groom speech for your wedding day.

The people you need to thank

As mentioned, the groom’s speech is all about thanking friends and family who were involved in putting the wedding together. Alongside that, it’s nice to also welcome the other side of the family, as well as remembering those who couldn’t be there on the day. Suppliers too, if you feel they played a really significant part in your day being a success, share the ones who deserve a special mention. You never know, it could lead to one of your loved ones hiring your wedding photographer for their big day.

Give your speech structure

It could be tempting to just run head first towards all those thank-yous, desperately trying not to miss anyone out. This approach, although potentially fun to watch, will seem quite chaotic and almost certainly lead to you missing important members of the wedding party out. Instead, organise your thoughts, and create an outline. You don’t need to write your groom’s speech out and follow it word by word on the wedding day. But you should have bullet notes you can (mentally) tick off as you go. Here’s a simple outline that will work for most groom speeches: · Introduce yourself, and say a few words about the day so far. · Welcome everyone, and thank them for coming · Thank specific people involved in the wedding. · Share a personal anecdote or story about your wedding planning journey, or relationship. · Share how you feel about your spouse. · Thank everyone for coming again and let guests know any information the venue has given you. Food or bar times, when certain events will be, that sort of thing. · Raise a toast.

Keep it light, but don’t force humour

We’re not all blessed with a funny bone. If you’re someone who’s never been the joker in the pack, the wisecracker in the group. Don’t force yourself to be one during your groom’s speech, on your wedding day! Your guests know you, they love you, and they want to hear a speech that sounds like it came from you, not Seinfeld. However, if making a joke here and there is part of your personality, by all means, use humour in your speech. But it’s important to strike a balance between laughs and sentiment. Guests should get a sense of how serious you are about the day, and feel your emotions. And they can’t do that if you’re just delivering a stand-up routine. Keep wedding guests interested and engaged in your groom’s speech by bouncing back and forth between playfulness and sentimentality. Jokes, interspersed with more serious, and emotional parts, is the key to a successful groom’s speech.

How long should a Groom’s wedding speech be?

The secret to any good speech is to keep it short and sweet. However humorous, or emotional your groom’s speech is, wedding guests will soon start to nod off if it goes on too long. Likewise, if you only share a couple of words, there’s no way loved ones will get a sense of how you feel about the day, or their contribution. Recite, or practice your groom’s speech ahead of the wedding day, multiple times, so you know how long it is. And remember that nervous energy will potentially take over on the day, speeding up the whole speech , and shaving off 30 seconds from the total time. Another reason why it’s important to practice. Overall, on your wedding day, aim to keep your groom’s speech around 2–3 minutes long. In that time, you should be able to convey just how delighted and thankful you truly are. Without sending any older relatives off to sleep! We hope we have inspired your groom’s speech, and hopefully settled some nerves ahead of the wedding day! It would be a pleasure to guide you further, and introduce you to our lovely wedding venue in Co Kildare. The Abbey is only an hour away from Dublin, and has an 18th century chapel on-site, a stunning ballroom, multiple events spaces and 38 contemporary style rooms. You are welcome to have a browse of our wedding venue online , and if you like what you see, please get in touch via our contact page to book a viewing. And while you wait for your visit, you can find out more about us via our online brochure .