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Hobbies and Interests Personal Statement Guide

Table of Contents

Hobbies and interests in a personal statement can do more to bring focus and clarity to your statements than fields of study. A good hobby can make a much more exciting and unique statement.

Before writing a personal statement, ensure you have a comprehensive list of your most impressive accomplishments, hobbies, jobs, and talents. Your interests have a significant role in your statement. But don’t think you can’t discuss them because you don’t have specific credentials.

This article provides tips on how to write compelling and distinctive personal statements using hobbies and interests. Read on!

Tips to Consider When Writing Hobbies and Interests in a Personal Statement

Personal statements benefit from including interest, but doing so might be challenging. You won’t go wrong if you stick to these guidelines while writing your statement.

1. Don’t Talk About Your Passion for Its Own Sake

Put less emphasis on the hobby than you should on the qualities it exposes about you.

Don’t talk about your passion for its own sake unless it’s relevant to your field of study. For instance, if you’re applying to dental school, you should do more than state that you enjoy painting. Instead, you should explain how you plan to combine your appreciation for the visual and performing arts in your chosen field.

Making these associations may be complex at first. If you’re stuck for ideas, try writing down why you appreciate your activity and your chosen field. If you see a connection, you should use it.

2. Avoid Claiming That Your Leisure Hobbies Are “exactly Like” Your Future Career

You may say that being a football team captain gave you the leadership skills you’ll need as a doctor. You may also state that your love of art led you to dentistry.

Still, you shouldn’t put too much stock in your current situation. If you can paint, that’s great, but it doesn’t indicate you have the skills to be a dentist. It’s not fair to compare your responsibilities as a football captain to those of a doctor.

Recognizing that your interests reflect aspects of you differs from asserting that your interests are almost similar to your future profession.

The admissions committee will likely take great pride in their work. Therefore, it’s not a good idea to compare it to your hobbies. There are two ways in which these ties can strengthen your application essay.

First, they demonstrate your ability to apply knowledge gained in various contexts to your professional growth.

Second, they prove that your extracurricular activities are relevant to your chosen profession. It is not merely a wishful thinking exercise about your future.

3. How Well You Do in Your Interest Is Important

If your college swimming team won the state title, don’t just say that you swam there. Highlight the skills that helped your team succeed and include examples of how you’ve applied those skills elsewhere.

A well-rounded individual is very desirable in the eyes of the admissions’ committee because achievement in one area usually equals greatness in another.

However, here’s the catch: excelling in your pastime isn’t enough. You need to demonstrate that the skills that helped you succeed in your fun can serve you well in your chosen profession.

If you don’t, people may assume that you’re the type to let your passions get in the way of your professional development and studies. You want your extracurricular activities to be a selling point, not a drawback.

4. Show How Your Interest Benefits Others

It’s a given in nearly every personal statement that the author has some sort of altruistic motivation. However, only a few students can convey their genuine desire to help others in their accounts.

The admissions’ committee can learn much about your character from hearing about your interests and passions. It is an essential detail to provide, but something that is normally expected to be said may make them more skeptical.

5. Your Interests Should Take up No More Than a Few Phrases

The admissions officers can be difficult to predict. Your Mount Everest climb may inspire the admissions board that they can’t forget it.

However, how you describe your connection to the field you’re applying to likely garner greater attention from admissions officers.

You should describe your activities in a few sentences, but you can organize them to maximize their impact. Include a brief discussion of your hobbies near the beginning of your statement to demonstrate how they influenced your early career path.

Your statement should emphasize your potential as a professional in your field, regardless of where you focus. With so little room, every word must count.

Example of Great Hobbies and Interests Personal Statement

The hobby or interest part of an application that stands out. Here’s a great example of all we have discussed using an INK example;

I am a passionate hobbyist with diverse interests and an enthusiasm for learning new skills. Over the years, I have explored many hobbies, including painting, photography, playing music, gardening, and cooking – just to name a few!

My approach is holistic and creative, seeking out novel ways to engage my interests in exciting and engaging ways. When I was exploring painting, I experimented with different textures and styles to create unique compositions that reflected my aesthetic.

Similarly, as a musician, I endeavored to use unconventional instruments such as kazoos and xylophones to create offbeat melodies. Furthermore, I love utilizing technology to further my endeavors.

These projects have challenged and taught me new abilities, from audio production to Photoshop design. All-in-all, I relish any opportunity to tap into my multifaceted creativity and explore the bountiful world of hobbies and interests.

Your hobbies and interests personal statement are significant! If you have any hobbies or interests that you would like to include in your essay, make sure they are narrow enough.

There’s not enough time to show the committee your skill and passion for all your hobbies! Instead, you should go in-depth and show how the specific activity benefits others.

Abir Ghenaiet

Abir is a data analyst and researcher. Among her interests are artificial intelligence, machine learning, and natural language processing. As a humanitarian and educator, she actively supports women in tech and promotes diversity.

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BEST Examples of Hobbies and Interests to put on a CV (2024 Guide)

Putting hobbies and interests on your CV is a great way to make your CV stand out from the crowd and impress the employer.

What you spend your free time on tells the employer a great deal about you, your values, your motivations, and in some cases, your skills and intelligence. This information can add real value to your job application and improve your chances of being shortlisted for a job interview.

David Littleford et al. , (2004) in their book Career Skills (pg. 14-15) mention under “other interests”:

“You should include hobbies and other interests, especially if they involve social and community activities. These activities are important – cover membership of societies, sports clubs/teams, etc. All these activities and the extent of your involvement give the recruiter clues about the real you and your interests.”

Use the guide and examples below to find out more about hobbies and interests and how to include them on your CV – let’s begin!

What are hobbies and interests?

Should i put hobbies and interests on my cv, what your hobbies “say” about you, what kind of hobbies should i put on my cv, examples of good personal interests to put on a cv, examples of best hobbies to put on a cv, how to write hobbies on a cv, location of the hobbies section on a cv, examples of different cv hobbies sections, things to avoid when writing your hobbies section.

A hobby is an activity that you regularly  pursue for enjoyment purposes, particularly during your leisure time. These are activities that generally relieve you from stress, tension or fatigue.

Examples of hobbies for a CV:

• Playing sports (football, tennis, hockey, cricket, etc.)
• Playing chess and solving puzzle games
• Reading and writing books, articles and publications
• Travelling and meeting new people
• Designing, drawing, sketching and painting
• Cooking and baking

An interest is an activity that you want to do or are currently doing on an  irregular  basis.

Examples of personal interests for a CV:

• Volunteering at local companies, clubs and organisations
• Organising events in the community
• Participating in fundraising events for charity
• Joining a professional, social or environmental group

The answer is, yes! Research has shown that adding relevant hobbies to your CV can make your CV more interesting, strengthen your job application and increase your chances of getting shortlisted for an interview. Putting your personal interests on your CV also shows the employer that you are a whole human being with a satisfactory life outside work and not a work robot.

If you lack work experience, your interests may show your suitability for the job in other ways. For example, they may give valuable information on your leadership potential or ability to work in a team.

Interviewers also use your interests to come up with ‘relaxing’ questions if the interview gets too hot or heavy; something which can help calm your nerves and improve your performance during the interview.

The benefits of including your personal interests on your CV:

• It will give the recruiter a fuller and more complete picture of you
• Extracurricular interests tell the employer that you are an all-rounded person who, besides just working, also enjoys having a good time
• They form a great basis for discussion at the interview stage
• Sporting activities indicate that you are fit, healthy and outgoing
• Involvement in the community suggests good interpersonal skills
• School leavers
• College students
• University graduates
• Candidates with little or no work experience
• Candidates who have blank space in their CVs that can be utilised

Remember that your CV is your personal marketing tool, and you should make the most out of using the totality of your CV, including the interests section, to “sell yourself” to the prospective employer.

• Senior professionals including managers and executives
• Candidates with a lot of work experience
• Candidates whose CVs are overflowing to more than 2 A4 pages

It’s not always appropriate to add this section to a senior CV. The more experience you have, the less important the hobbies and interests section becomes. Managers, executives and other experienced professionals are expected to show their skills and personal qualities from their work experience, achievements and educational background, without the need to resort to outside interests.

Phrases such as ‘Playing football’ , ‘solving puzzles’ , and ‘fixing computers’ are not generic terms without any meaning, rather; they carry a deeper message.

Here’s what the prospective employers will be subconsciously asking themselves when reading through the candidates’  CVs :

What do statements such as, “I play football on a regular basis”, “I enjoy solving puzzles” or “I like fixing computers” tell me about this candidate and their suitability for the job?

Many candidates do not realise that the hobbies and interests they include in their CVs can reveal a lot of information about them and their personalities.

Below is a list of some personal interests and activities and what they tell employers about the candidate:

List of hobbies and interests for a CV

Ask yourself: how do these interests add value to my application? Try to highlight your ability to interact, help and/or communicate with others.

Answer: Those that are relevant and add value to your application!

When deciding which interests to include, the golden rule to apply is;

Will it help me get the job?

Only include relevant hobbies, sports and leisure activities that display you in a positive light and strengthen your application; for example; interests which show that you are active, sociable and responsible.

Martin Yate, a best-selling careers author, outlines three broad categories of leisure activities to include on your CV in his book The Ultimate CV Book (Pg.35):

• Team sports (football, cricket, basketball, etc.)
• Determination activities (running, swimming, cycling, climbing, etc.)
• Brain activities (chess, reading, etc.)

However, not every one of the above categories may be suitable for your situation and the job that you are applying for. Only select the hobbies and interests that are relevant to the job and add value to your application.

• Bain activities (such as playing chess) are a good match for jobs which are technical or analytical in nature  (e.g. jobs in IT or science).
• Team sports (such as playing football) are a good match for jobs which require working with people on a daily basis (e.g. jobs in business or marketing).

Example of relevant and irrelevant hobbies for a web developer:

NOTE: Different activities can be interpreted differently depending on the job you are applying for. For example, “playing computer games” as a hobby is irrelevant to most jobs and may sometimes portray you as a self-absorbed individual living in their own little cyber world. However, the same hobby can add tremendous weight to your CV if you apply for a job as a video game developer, graphics designer or shop assistant at your local games shop!

How to match your interests with the job you are applying for:

There are thousands of hobbies and interests that people include in their CVs. Selecting the correct hobbies to include will depend on a number of factors, including the job sector and the job role/specifications.

Use the guidelines below to select the correct interests for your CV:

For example, if the job holder must have “excellent people skills” , you could mention your volunteering, team sports or socialising activities – all of which develop your communication, interpersonal and people skills. Don’t mention playing chess or jogging as that would be irrelevant.

If, on the other hand, the job specification states that the person must possess “outstanding technical skills” , you would mention playing chess, building computers and upgrading computer networks – things that indicate that you are technically competent and analytical-minded. Don’t mention socialising events because that would be less relevant.

Many companies have a ‘culture’ in the way they operated and how employees of that organisation behave. Google, for instance, is now famously known for allowing employees to play games, take a walk or do sports in order to relieve stress or become more productive during working hours. When applying for a job at a company like Google, there is no harm in showing a little bit of your fun, playful and human side because that fits in nicely with their company culture.

It is always a good idea to write down the list of skills and abilities that you possess and see which of these would add value if you include it in your CV. Skills and abilities are closely related to your hobbies and interest; therefore, you may include them in this section too.

List of interests and their relevance to different jobs

Interests enhance your CV because they show the employer that you are an all-round person with a passion and determination to undertake activities outside work.

The following personal interests will make your CV shine:

• Involved in local clubs, classes and groups. Involvement in clubs and student societies demonstrates that you have excellent interpersonal and people skills, traits that are highly valued by employers. Don’t forget to make mention any professional bodies you are a member of.
• Volunteering at local companies and organisations. Research has shown that the most important part of a candidate’s CV is their work experience section. If you don’t have any relevant work experience, it is highly recommended to take up some voluntary work to improve your skills, gain exposure to your industry and give your CV a great boost!
• Attending events, shows and exhibitions. Attending events, whether they are for business or pleasure, demonstrates to the employer that you are keen to learn about the latest trends in an industry or on a subject. It also shows that you are confident and enjoy meeting new people; two personal traits that are highly desired in almost all jobs.
• Organising events in the community. Employers love candidates that show initiative and take on additional responsibilities to further their skills and experience. Having experience in helping with community events is particularly useful if you want a job in events management, marketing or business management.
• Involved with charities (including campaigning and fundraising). Employers value charity work because it shows that you are socially conscious, compassionate and caring. It also demonstrates that you have great people skills and are capable of dealing with the public.

These interests enhance your CV because they inform the employer that you possess excellent interpersonal, organisational and communication skills which enables you to undertake these activities. It also confirms that you are motivated and determined about the things you are passionate about.

The following hobbies will give a boost to your CV:

• Exercise and sports. Adding sports to your CV will portray you as a healthy and fit individual. There are two types of sports; individual sports such as running, swimming and cycling, and team sports such as football, basketball, cricket and tennis. Individual sports portray you as a determined, passionate and strong-willed individual whereas team sports show that you have excellent interpersonal and teamwork skills.
• Playing brain games. Brain activities are great hobbies to add to any CV, especially if you pursue a career in computing, mathematics or science because they demonstrate excellent problem-solving and analytical skills. Playing chess or puzzle games also tells the employer that you are intelligent, thoughtful and capable of overcoming challenges.
• Writing. Writing as a hobby indicates that you have excellent written communication skills, a key requirement for copywriters, editors, public relations professionals, marketers and journalists. You don’t necessarily have to be writing voluminous books to mention this hobby on your CV! You can also include writing poems, short articles and blog posts.
• Mentoring and coaching. Employers highly value mentoring because they understand that teaching, advising or supervising someone requires great skill, patience and determination. This hobby is particularly useful to add to your CV if you’re applying for a job as a teacher, tutor, mentor, teaching assistant, sports coach or fitness instructor.
• Computing and IT. If you’re applying for a job in the information technology (IT) industry, you can add the following activities to your CV to enhance it; coding and programming, building and fixing computers, designing and developing websites, setting-up computer networks and keeping up with the latest developments in technology.
• Designing. Designing is an essential requirement if you’re looking to apply for a job in a creative industry such as marketing or design. Activities that you could add to your CV include designing art, drawing, sketching and painting by hand, and using computer-aided design (CAD) software to create 2D drawings and 3D models.
• Cooking, baking and eating. Who doesn’t like food, right? Cooking new dishes and baking cakes are great hobbies to add to your CV if you’re applying for a job in the hospitality and catering industry. You could also mention things like, ‘going out and eating at restaurants’ or ‘watching Food Channel or other food-related TV programmes (e.g. MasterChef)’. Passion for food goes a long way in this industry!

Below are the guidelines for writing a perfect hobbies section of your CV:

• Keep this section short and to the point as it is an extra/optional section; one to three interests are usually sufficient.
• Only include interests that are relevant to the job. For example, what value does “stamp and coin collecting” as a hobby add to the application of someone who applies for the logistics manager position? The answer: none. However, stamp collecting would be a very valuable hobby to mention when applying for a job as a stamp appraiser .
• Don’t use the usual lines about enjoying walking, reading or swimming; be more specific and describe them in sentences. For example, change “I enjoy reading” , to “I enjoy reading non-fiction and current affairs books” ), or change “Travelling” to “I have visited most major European cities,” etc.)
• Try to list interests that show a balance . A healthy interest in sports and the outdoors should be counterbalanced by other, more intellectual pursuits.
• Keep it real and don’t lie or exaggerate.

The interests section should be placed at the end of the second page , just before the CV references section :

Remember: This section is optional so placing it higher up on your CV will give the prospective employer the impression that you do not understand how to prioritise things. Think about it, how can your personal interests be more important to the employer than your work experience or qualifications?

Example 1 – Economist

Example 2 – teaching assistant.

Note: The example below is a bit long because the candidate had blank space in their CV and utilised it accordingly.

Example 3 – Civil Engineer

Example 4 – credit controller.

Example 5 – Journalist

It is best to avoid putting anything controversial or sensitive on your CV. Humans are by their nature very judgemental, so be wise about what you disclose on your CV. For example, some recruiters may judge you negatively if you included heavy metal as your favourite music genre.

Avoid mentioning interests that could reveal your private beliefs.

Stating that you are an “active member of the local church” may harm your chances of being invited to an interview, especially when the potential employer reading your CV is a strict atheist. Similarly, stating that you “volunteered on a number of Labour election campaigns” or that you are a “huge fan of Manchester United” is also not a very good idea.

Don’t mention very risky, dangerous or time-consuming hobbies such as rock climbing, deep sea diving, bungee jumping, parachuting and boxing. It is in the employer’s best interest that you are fit and well when you’re working for them!

One recruitment expert commented, “Personally alarm bells go off for me when I read about people jumping out of perfectly good aircraft or hanging off tall buildings on the thinnest of ropes!”

Interviewers use the interests section of your CV to identify any conflict of interest if your hobbies demand too much of your time that could interfere with your ability to do your job or meet deadlines. A potential conflict of interest could arise, for example, if you state that you run two part-time businesses alongside your day job.

You may think it’s a good idea to make up some hobbies to impress the employer but this is not a good idea.

One unfortunate applicant had put ‘theatre’ as one of their interests but was left speechless and embarrassed at the interview when they were asked about the kind of theatre they liked and the name of the last play they saw.

Make sure that you know enough to talk about every interest you list on your CV at the interview. Don’t include “Karate” as your hobby if the nearest you ever got to karate was watching a martial arts film! What if the interviewer is a black belt and asks you about the style of karate you have studied?

Over the years, recruiters have documented the many weird and inappropriate interests that they have seen on CVs, including:

• Eating pizzas
• Handling guns
• Frog dissection
• Swimming with saltwater crocodiles

Needless to say, none of these candidates was invited for a job interview!

Adding too many hobbies to your CV fills up valuable space that could be used for more important information. The following is a sample of a CV’s interests section that contains too many activities:

At this stage, the prospective employer will most likely be wondering: “Gosh, when will this person have any time to do some work?!”

Putting hobbies and interests on your CV is an excellent way of enhancing your CV and improving the chances of being shortlisted for a job interview. Regardless of your job or industry, you should only include hobbies or interests that are relevant and add value to your application.

If you’re still undecided on what to include, have a look at the great examples below to see which of these you can add to your CV.

The best personal hobbies and interests to put on a CV:

• Sports such as football, basketball and swimming.
• Exercise such as walking or going to the gym.
• Volunteering and participating in the community.
• Reading books, magazines or publications.
• Writing books, poems, articles or blog posts.
• Designing or drawing by hand or computer (CAD).
• Building things such as computers and product prototypes.
• Coaching, teaching, tutoring or mentoring someone.
• Organising events/activities for local charities or organisations.
• Learning a new skill such as public speaking or new technology.
• Cooking and baking when applying for food-related jobs.
• Playing brain games, puzzles, riddles and solving quizzes.
• Travelling to experience new cultures and meet new people.
• Learning a new language.

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Last updated March 5, 2024

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Blog > Common App , Essay Examples , Personal Statement > 15 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

15 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University

Written by Kylie Kistner, MA Former Willamette University Admissions

Key Takeaway

What’s that old saying? “The best way to learn is by doing.” Well, we believe that, in personal statements and in life, cliches like this should be avoided. For some people, the best way to start writing a personal statement is indeed just to start.

But for most writers, jumping right into the writing process is a daunting task. If you’ve never written a personal statement before, then how do you know where to begin?

That’s where example essays come in. There are millions of opinions in the college admissions world about whether or not students should read example essays. But here’s ours:

You absolutely should be reading example personal statements.

Let’s get into it.

Why you should read example personal statements

Reading example personal statements helps you understand why they work (or don’t work) in the admissions process.

Now, the point of reading them isn’t to copy them. It’s not even necessarily to be inspired by them.

Instead, the point of reading examples is to know what personal statements look like. Think about it: if you’d never seen a children’s book before, would you know how to write one? Probably not! Same goes for personal statements.

In this post, we show you some exceptional, solid, and need-to-be-improved personal statements.

And to help you understand how these essays function as personal statements, we’ve also gotten our team of former admissions officers to grade and provide feedback on each.

What does an admissions officer look for in a personal statement?

Before we get to the essays, let’s briefly walk through what goes through an admissions officer’s head when they open an application.

Admissions officers (AOs) read hundreds to thousands of applications in a single year. Different institutions require admissions officers to use different criteria when evaluating applications, so the specifics will vary by school. Your entire application should cohere to form a seamless narrative . You'll be crafting that narrative across the following categories:

• Transcripts and course rigor : AOs look at the classes you’ve taken to assess how much you’ve challenged yourself based on the classes your school offers. They’re also looking at how well you've done in these classes each term.
• Extracurricular activities : When reading through your activities list, AOs look at the activities you’ve done, how many years you’ve participated in them, and how many hours a week you devote to them. They’re assessing your activities for the levels of magnitude, impact, and reach that they demonstrate. (Want to know more about these terms? Check out our extracurricular impact post .)
• Background information : This background information briefly tells admissions officers about demographic and family information, your school context, and any honors or awards you’ve received.
• Letters of recommendation : Letters of recommendation give AOs insight into who you are in the classroom.
• Essays : And, finally, the essays. Whether you’re writing a personal statement or a supplemental essay , essays are the main place AOs get to hear your voice and learn more about you. Your personal statement in particular is the place where you get to lay out your overall application narrative and say something meaningful about your personal strengths.

So, with all that in mind, what does an admissions officer actually look for when reading your personal statement?

A few traits tend to surface across the best personal statements, no matter the topic or format. There are four primary areas you should focus on as you craft your personal statement.

• Strengths : AOs want to know about your strengths. That doesn’t mean bragging about your accomplishments, but it does mean writing about a topic that lets you showcase something positive about yourself.
• Personal meaning : Personal statements shouldn’t be fluff. They shouldn’t be history essays. They should be personal essays that ooze meaning. The topic you choose should show something significant about yourself that the admissions officers won’t get from any other part of your application.
• Authenticity and vulnerability : These characteristics can be the most difficult to achieve. Being “vulnerable” doesn’t mean airing all your dirty laundry. It means revealing something authentic and meaningful about who you are. To be vulnerable means to go beyond the surface level to put yourself out there, even to admissions officers who you’ve never met.
• Clear organization and writing : And lastly, admissions officers also want your essay to be organized clearly so it’s easy to follow along. Remember that admissions officers are reading lots of applications, even in one sitting. So you want to make your reader’s job as easy as possible. Thoughtful and skillful writing can also help take your personal statement to the next level.

If you want to know more about how to incorporate these traits into your own essay, we have a whole guide about how to write the perfect personal statement .

But for now, let’s get into the examples.

We’ve broken up the example personal statements into three categories: best personal statement examples, good personal statement examples, and “bad” personal statement examples. These categories show you that there is a spectrum of what personal statements can look like. The best examples are the gold standard. They meet or exceed all four of the main criteria admissions officers are looking for. The good examples are just that: good. They’re solid examples that may be lacking in a specific area but are still effective personal statements. The “bad” examples are those that don’t yet stack up to the expectations of a personal statement. They’re not objectively bad, but they need some specific improvements to align with what admissions officers are looking for.

Here we go!

The Best Personal Statement Examples

Writing an exceptional personal statement takes a lot of time and effort. Even the best writers can find the genre challenging. But when you strike the perfect chord and get it right, it’s almost like magic. Your essay jumps off the page and captures an admissions officer’s attention. They feel like you’re right there with them, telling them everything they need to know to vote “yes” on your admission.

The following essays are some of our favorites. They cover a range of topics, styles, and student backgrounds. But they all tell meaningful stories about the writers’ lives. They are well-organized, use vivid language, and speak to the writers’ strengths.

For each essay, our team of former admissions officers have offered comments about what makes the essay exceptional. Take a look through the annotations and feedback to see what lessons you can apply to your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #1: Thankful

My family has always been broke. Saturday mornings and Thursday evenings, always the same drill: the kids (my brothers and me) would be loaded in the car with my parents and off we’d all go to the food pantry. New clothes were few and far between, and going on vacation was something that we could only dream of. Despite our financial struggles, one year, my parents decided to surprise us with a trip to Disney Land. It was a complete shock to me and my siblings. We were over the moon. In fact, the screams of excitement that emanated from my younger brother’s mouth still ring in my ears.

But as the trip drew close, my excitement tempered and I began to worry. Being poor when you’re young doesn’t just affect you materially. It also affects how you see the world and loads you up with a whole range of anxieties that, in an ideal world, no child should have to face. How were my parents going to afford this, I wondered? Would an expense like this push us over the brink?(( The beginning of this essay, and especially this sentence, show the writer’s empathy. They are not selfish; they understand their broader family context and take that into consideration.)) I didn't want to ruin the surprise by asking, but I couldn't shake the feeling of dread building inside of me.

The day of our trip arrived and we set off for the airport. In the car, my dad made an off-the-cuff comment about a new video game that he’d wanted to play but didn’t buy, and everything clicked—my parents had made the trip possible by saving for months, cutting back on expenses and sacrificing their own comforts to make the trip happen.

As we boarded the plane, I was filled with a mix of emotions. I was grateful beyond words for my parents' sacrifice, but I was also overwhelmed by the guilt of knowing that they had given up so much for us. I didn't know how to express my gratitude; when we deplaned in LAX, I gave my mom and dad a rib-crushing hug.

The trip itself was everything that I had dreamed of and more. We spent four magical days at Disney Land(( Nice use of vivid details here. The reader can picture the sights and smells of Disney—and the ensuing hunger when passing a churro stand.)) , speed running the roller coasters and campy boat rides from the 70s. Sure, we packed our own food and walked right by the churro stands with a hungry look in our eyes. But I will never forget the feeling of unmitigated joy that my family shared on that trip, the smiles that painted my parents’ faces.

But the trip itself was nothing compared to the gratitude I felt for my parents(( Here, the writer transitions to reintroducing the theme of gratitude.)) . They had given us the gift of a lifetime, and I knew that I would never be able to repay them for their sacrifice.

In the years since that trip, I have carried that feeling of gratitude with me. It has motivated me to work hard and to always strive to be the best person that I can be. I want to make my parents proud and to show them that their sacrifice was worth it(( Finally, the writer sums things up with an eye to the future. It’s helpful for an admission officer to picture what the essay’s lessons might mean for the student as a future community member.)) .

I will never be able to fully express my gratitude for what my parents did for us, but I will always remember their selflessness and their willingness to put their own needs aside for the sake of our happiness. It was a truly surprising and incredible act of love, and one that I will always be thankful for.

AO Notes on Thankful

This essay accomplishes a few things even though it essentially tells one story and offers a quick reflection. It gives some important context regarding the challenges of being from a lower-income family. It does that in a way that is authentic, rather than problem-focused. It also shows that the writer is empathetic, family-oriented, and reflective.

Why this essay stands out:

• Vulnerability : This essay is upfront about a challenging topic: financial insecurity. While you don’t have to tell your most difficult challenge in an essay, this writer chose to write about a circumstance that gives additional context that may be helpful as admissions considers their application.
• Personal : The writer gets into some family dynamics and paints a picture of how their family treats and takes care of each other.
• Values: We clearly see some values the writer has and that they don’t take their parents’ sacrifices for granted. As an admission officer, I can picture this student using their education to give back—to their family or to others.

Personal Statement Example #2: Pickleball

I’ve always been one to have a good attitude no matter the circumstances. Except when it comes to exercise. From dodgeball in PE class to family Turkey Trots, I’m always the first one out and the last one across the finish line. These realities aren’t from a lack of skill—I’m actually quite coordinated and fast. They are from a lack of effort(( This is a quick hit of… either humor or vulnerability. I chuckled at the blunt honesty, and am intrigued to learn more.)) . Despite my best intentions, I can never get myself to care about sports or competitions. So when my dad first asked me to be his pickleball partner last summer, I did nothing but laugh.

But soon, I realized that he was serious. My dad started playing pickleball two years ago as a fun way to exercise. He’d become a star in our city’s recreation league, and I always enjoyed cheering him on from the sidelines. When his doubles partner got relocated for work, my dad decided that the disruption was a good opportunity for us bond through pickleball. Even though I was mortified by the thought of running back and forth to hit a bouncing ball, I reluctantly agreed.

The next Saturday morning, we went to the court for our first practice. I was wearing sweatpants, an old sweatshirt, and a grimace. My dad showed me how to hold the paddle, serve, and return the ball to our opponents. He told me about staying out of the kitchen—an endearing pickleball term that references the “kitchen,” or the middle part of the court—trying to make me laugh. Instead, I sighed impatiently and walked to my end of the court, ready to get it over with.

My dad remained patient in spite of my bad attitude. He gently served me the ball, and I gave a lackluster attempt to return it. The ball bounced into the net. I hadn’t even made it to his side of the court. Trying his best to encourage me, my dad gave me the ball so I could serve it to him instead. I tossed the ball up and hit it underhand toward my dad. It hit the net again. I tried again and again, each attempt with less care than the last. I grew frustrated and threw my paddle down in anger(( Okay, this paragraph gives a good dose of openness to the emotions of the writer. They’ve served up an opportunity to learn a lesson soon…)) .

After seeing my mini-meltdown, my dad crossed the kitchen to talk to me. During our conversation, I began to ask myself why I got so frustrated when I wasn’t trying very hard in the first place. I thought pickleball was a miserable sport, but I realized that it wasn’t pickleball that I cared about. I cared about my dad. I wanted to make him proud(( Ah, and there it is! A realization. As the admission officer I’m thinking, “Go on…”)) . Playing pickleball with him was the least I could do to thank him for everything he’d done for me. I dusted off my bad attitude alongside my paddle, and I got up to try another serve.

That serve hit the net again. But more determined now, I kept trying until my serves went over the net and through my dad’s weak side. I couldn’t believe it. My attitude adjustment helped me see the game for what it was: a game. It wasn’t supposed to be agonizing or cruel. It was supposed to be fun.

I learned that my attitude towards sports was unacceptable. This experience taught me that it’s okay to have preferences about what you enjoy, but it’s important to always maintain a positive attitude(( And the lesson learned! )) . You may just enjoy it after all.

Now my dad and I are both stars in our recreation league. Soon, we will make our way to our league’s semi-finals. We’ve worked our way through the bracket and are close to the championship. What I appreciate more about this experience, however, is how close it’s brought my dad and I together. His patience, positivity, and persistence have and will always inspire me. I want to be more like him every day, especially on the pickleball court.

AO Notes on Pickleball

This is a strong “attitude adjustment” essay, a bit of a remix of a challenge essay. The challenge, in this case, was a fixed mindset about sports that needed to be adjusted. The writer takes us on a witty journey through their own attitude towards organized athletic activities and their father.

• Self-aware : Similar to the vulnerability of other essays, this writer is willing to criticize themselves by recognizing that they need an attitude adjustment. Even before they changed their attitude, we get the sense that they are at least aware of their own lack of effort.
• Strong conclusion : We see a nice lesson at the end that relates both to having an open mind and caring for others. They even make a point about simply enjoying things because they are fun.
• Life lesson : Beyond the stated lesson, as an admission officer with a few more years on this Earth than the writer, I can tell this lesson will apply beyond sports. In fact, I can easily picture this student trying a new class, club, or group of friends in college because they are now more open to novel experiences.

Personal Statement Example #3: The Bird Watcher

I’m an avid walker and bird watcher(( Okay, the writer gets right into it! I think this simple introduction of the topic works well because they are writing about a less common hobby among teenagers. If they had said “I am an avid baseball player”, I would have been less eager to learn more.)) . Growing up, I’d clear my head by walking along the trail in the woods behind my house. By the time I was immersed in the chaos of high school, these walks became an afternoon routine. Now, every day at three o’clock, I don my jacket and hiking shoes and set off. As I walk, I note the flora and fauna around me. The wind whispering through the trees, the quiet rustling of a chipmunk underfoot, and the high-pitched call of robins perched atop branches, all of it brings me back to life after a difficult day.

And recently, the days have been more difficult than not. My grandparents passing, parents divorcing, and doctor diagnosing me with ADHD have presented me with more challenges than I’ve ever experienced before. But no matter what’s going on in my life, the wildlife on my walks brings me peace. As an aspiring ornithologist, the birds are my favorite(( This paragraph accomplishes a lot: a montage of difficult circumstances, context for their application, and declares their future career.)) .

I became interested in ornithology during long childhood afternoons spent at my grandparents’ house. They would watch me while my parents finished up work. I’d listen to the old bird clock that hung on the wall in the kitchen. Each number on the clock corresponded with a different bird. Every hour, the clock would chirp rather than chime. When the cardinal sang, I knew my parents would be arriving soon. Those chirps are all seared into my memory.

Twelve o’clock: robin. The short, fast, almost laugh-like sound of the robin always makes me hungry. All those Saturday afternoons filled with laughter and good food have resulted in a Pavlovian response. I’d cook meatballs with my grandma, splashing sauce on her floral wall paper. We’d laugh and laugh and enjoy the meal together at her plastic-covered kitchen table. This wasn’t my home, but I felt at home just the same.

Three o’clock: blue jay. It’d chime as soon as we walked in the door after school. The blue jay was my grandpa’s favorite. It was also mine. Why he loved it, I’m not completely sure. But it was my favorite because it marked the beginning of the best parts of my day. Symbolizing strength and confidence, blue jays always remind me of my grandpa.

Six o’clock: cardinal. The sharp whistle and staccato of the cardinal indicated that it was almost time for me to leave. Like the whistle of a closing shift, I’d hear it and start to pack my things. The cardinal has always been my least favorite.

Nine o’clock: house finch. The high, sweet, almost inquisitive call of the house finch was the one my grandma loved most. It was also the one I rarely heard. Either too early or too late in the day, the house finch was reserved for the occasional weekends when I’d spend the night at their house. My grandma would explain that finches symbolize harmony and peace. They are petite but mighty, just like she was(( This is a clever and sweet way of describing summer days with grandparents, while sprinkling in some vivid details to bring the story to life.)) .

This past weekend was the anniversary of my grandpa’s passing. Longing for my grandparents, I went for a walk. Winter is approaching, so the sky was darkening quickly. I walked slowly. As the sun set, I heard the tell-tale squawk of a blue jay, loud and piercing through the chill of the wind. I looked around and saw it sitting on an old stump, a small house finch behind it. I extracted my binoculars from my backpack, hoping to get a better glimpse through the dark. I turned the dial to focus the lenses, just as the birds flew away together. I took a deep breath, binoculars in hand, and continued on, spotting a robin in the distance(( The ending stylistically wraps the essay up without tying a bow on it. It’s a more artful way of concluding, and it works well here.)) .

AO Notes on Birdwatcher

This first two paragraphs are well-written and fairly to-the-point in their language. They do a nice job of setting the scene, but the third paragraph transitions into the writer’s distinctive voice. They detail the birds on the clock to chronicle the hours of their summer days and end, not without concluding, but leaving the reader wanting to read more of their stories.

• Voice: The writer transitions to writing in their own distinct voice, which comes to a crescendo in the final paragraph.
• Interesting approach: Sometimes students use an approach to tell a story that feels overly forced or cliche. This one feels organic and relates nicely to the writer, their family, and the story as a whole.
• Career path : This is far from a “What I want to be when I grow up” essay, but it clearly shows an academic interest grounded in family and childhood memories. This is an artistic and beautiful approach to showing admissions how the writer may use their college education.

Personal Statement Example #4: Chekov’s Wig

At the age of six, I starred in an at-home, one-woman production of Annie. My family watched as I switched between a wig I’d fashioned from maroon yarn, a dog’s tail leftover from Halloween, and a tie I’d stolen from my dad.

When the reveal came that Annie’s parents had actually passed away, I took a creative liberty: they had left Annie a small unicorn farm. The rest of the play proceeded as normal. When the curtain closed, I bowed to the sound of my family’s applause. But one set of hands was missing: my grandmother’s. Instead she sat, arms raised, and jokingly exclaimed, “But what about the unicorns?”(( Wow, an interesting intro! We see creativity and a silly side to the writer. As the admission officer, I’m eager to see where this leads.))

My grandma, an avid thespian, taught me a lot about life. But one of the most important lessons followed this production of Annie . After we laughed about her remark, she introduced me to the concept of Chekov’s gun. For Anton Chekov, brilliant playwright, the theory goes something like this: a writer shouldn’t write about a loaded gun if it’s not going to be fired. In other words, writers shouldn’t include details about something if it won’t serve a purpose in the story later. My unicorn farm had committed this writing faux pas egregiously.

I’m not a natural writer, and I have no goal to become one, but I’ve taken this concept of Chekov’s gun to heart—it forms the foundation of my life philosophy. I don’t believe that everything was meant to be(( This philosophical reflection is a nice introduction to the paragraphs that follow. )) . In fact, I think that sometimes bad things just happen. But I believe that these details will always play a part in our larger story.

The first test of my Chekov’s gun philosophy occurred shortly after Annie when my grandma, my biggest supporter, passed away. My family tried to console me saying that “it was her time to go,” but I disagreed. I couldn’t see how a death could be destined. Instead, I found comfort knowing that her presence, her support, and her death wasn’t for nothing. Like Chekov’s gun, I wasn’t quite sure how or why, but I knew that she would return for me.

As I grew older, my philosophy was tested time and again. Most recently, I fell back on Chekov’s gun as I coped with my parents’ divorce and my subsequent move to a new town. Both events shattered my world. My happy family theatre productions turned into custody hearings and overnight bags. The community I’d found at my old school became a sea of unfamiliar faces at my new one. None of this was meant to be. But as the writer of my own life, I won’t let the details become inconsequential.

I’ve used these events as plot points in my high school experience. Dealing with my parents’ divorce has taught me how to make the best of what’s given to me. I got the chance to decorate two bedrooms, live in both the suburbs and the city, and even have twice the amount of pets. And without the inciting incident of the divorce and move(( We see that the writer is able to make lemonade out of lemons here.)) , I never would have joined a new drama club or landed leading roles in Mama Mia and Twelfth Night. The divorce and move, like Chekov’s gun, have been crucial details in getting me where I’m at today.

I know that Chekov’s gun is more about the details in a story, but this philosophy empowers me to take what happens, the good and the bad, as part of my personal character development. Nothing would be happening if it weren’t important.

This summer, as we cleaned our garage in preparation for yet another move, I found my old Annie wig, yarn tangled from the box. Next to the wig was a note, handwritten in a script I’d recognize anywhere. My darling star, it read. You are going to go on to do great things. Love, Grandma ((And a sweet, or bittersweet, conclusion.)) .

AO Notes on Chekov’s Wig

This essay tells a beautiful story about a foundational philosophy in this young writer’s life. As their admission officer, I can see how grounded and positive they are. I can also imagine them taking this lesson to college: really paying attention to life, reflecting on the past, and understanding the value of even the smallest instances. There is an inherent maturity in this essay.

• Creativity: From the first few sentences, we can see that this student is now, and was as a child, creative. An original thinker.
• Reflective: When challenged by their grandmother, the writer didn’t insist that their way was correct. They took the criticism in stride and absorbed it as a salient life lesson. This shows open-mindedness and an uncommon level of maturity.
• Silver linings: It’s clear that this young writer has had some familial challenges that are likely familiar to some of you. They don’t gloss over them, but instead they learn from them. From having more pets to starring in the school musicals, there are lessons to glean from even life’s more difficult challenges.

Personal Statement Example #5: An Afternoon with Grandmother

The Buddhist temple on the hillside above my home has always possessed a deep power for me. With its towering spires and intricate carvings thousands of years old, it is a place of peace and serenity(( This writer opens with some wonderful imagery. I like how the imagery mirrors the meaning.)) —somewhere I can go to escape the chaos of the world and connect with myself and with my sense of spirituality. When my grandmother called me one January to let me know that she would be coming to visit, I smiled, my mind darting immediately to the temple and to the visit of it we would take together.

My relationship with my grandmother is a special one. After my parents passed away, she and my grandfather raised me for three years before I moved in with my father’s sister. In that time, she was my sole companion; she shared her recipes with me, told me stories, and most importantly, she taught me everything I know about spirituality. We spent countless nights staying up past bed-time, talking about the teachings of the Buddha, and she encouraged me gently to explore my own path to enlightenment(( This topic is accomplishing a lot: we see the writer’s relationship with their grandmother, their personal values, and their ideas about who they want to be in the future.)) .

When my grandmother finally arrived, I felt bathed in a warm glow. After catching up and preparing her favorite meal—red rice with miso soup and hot green tea—I told her about the plans I had for us to visit my special place.

Later that afternoon, as we entered the temple, I felt the calmness and tranquility wash over me. I took my grandmother's hand and led her to the main hall, where we knelt before the altar and began to recite the prayers and mantras that I had learned from her years before.

As we prayed, our voices joined together, echoing throughout the temple. A gentle rain began to fall outside and, as the cold crept around where we knelt, I was engulfed by a deep sense of connection with my grandmother and with the universe. It was as if the barriers between us were falling away, and we were becoming one—with each other, and with our shared connection to the divine.

We finished our prayers and sat in silence, lingering in the serenity of the temple. I could feel my grandmother's hand in mine, and I was filled with a sense of gratitude and love(( A great example of weaving vivid language with explicit reflection!)) .

Spirituality has been essential in my life. It gives me a sense of grounding and purpose, and it teaches me the value of compassion. My spirituality has also given me a way to connect with my grandmother on a deeper level—like a private language that only we speak together. In a world that can often feel chaotic and disconnected, faith and spirituality provide a sense of stability and connection.

As we left the temple, I held my grandmother's hand and felt suffused by a sense of peace and contentment. Too often people who are disconnected from spirituality misunderstand the role it plays in billions of people’s lives. They see it as a way to “check out” from the issues the world faces, ignoring their responsibilities to others. This may be true for others, but not me. Quite the opposite. My spirituality helps me empathize with others(( Wonderful reflection.)) ; it helps me focus on the obligations we each have to every other person and creature on this planet. For me, it is the ultimate way to “check in” to the needs of the world and my community in a way that grounds me emotionally.

Spirituality offers a way to find meaning and purpose in life, and to connect with something greater than ourselves. For that, and for my grandmother, I am truly grateful.

AO Notes on An Afternoon with Grandmother

In this deeply reflective essay, the writer uses spirituality and their relationship with their grandmother to reveal a very personal part of themselves. The writer isn’t afraid to be vulnerable, and they clearly showcase strengths of wisdom and compassion.

• Vivid language: This author is a talented writer who has included a bunch of vivid language. But it’s not over the top. They include just enough to hold a reader’s attention and add some interest.
• Reflection: The reflection throughout this essay is excellent. Notice how it’s not just at the beginning or the end. It’s woven throughout. The writer follows up each major detail with an explanation of why it’s personally meaningful.
• Conclusion: The conclusion combines vivid language and reflection perfectly. By the end of the essay, we know exactly what the writer wants us to take away: spirituality is personally meaningful to them because it helps them connect with the people around them. And I especially like how the writer chose to end on a note of gratitude—always a good value to have in a personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #6: Rosie’s

While most people find their lowest point at rock bottom, I found mine in an Amerikooler DW081677F-8(( We’re definitely off to an odd start. I’m curious where this is headed!)) . With drops rolling down my back and my cheeks, I snuck into the walk-in freezer for a moment of chill.

At that point, I had worked at Rosie's for nearly a year. The job was a good one: it fit with my school schedule, paid well, and introduced me to close friends. But as a workplace, Rosie’s was pure chaos. The original owners passed on a host of problems the new owners were working hard to fix. But the problems ran deep. From an inefficient kitchen organization to a malfunctioning scheduling software, we never knew what to do or when.

The day I found myself in the Amerikooler was the day everything caught up with us(( This is a good transitional phrase that helps readers navigate this fairly complex narrative.)) . An error in our scheduling software led to us operating with only 30% of our typical team. As the only waitress on duty, I ran between the kitchen and the guests, stopping mid-delivery to put new vegetables in the steamers. The kitchen staff were barely getting through each dish before customers lost patience.

Then, in all the commotion, I dropped a plate of macaroni and cheese all over a customer. I apologized over and over again. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I couldn’t believe what I had done. I always tried to be one step ahead to give my customers the best service, so my mistake felt like an utter failure. After helping them clean up, I ran immediately to the freezer. I realized that something had to change.

In the Amerikooler, a pea and corn mix cool on my back, I considered my options. The easiest option was to quit. I could find another job, one that didn’t cause me so much stress. But quitting wouldn’t just mean giving up. It would mean accepting my failure. It would also mean abandoning the coworkers I had grown close to. Leaving them would only burden them more. While I knew it wasn’t my job to fix the restaurant, I knew that leaving wasn’t the answer either. Instead, I decided to focus on solutions(( I like the focus on solutions and action steps here!)) . I stood up from the cold, dirty freezer floor, dusted off my work pants, washed my hands, and got back to work.

Despite being the newest and youngest member of the Rosie’s staff, I recognized that I brought a new perspective to the workplace. Having spent the previous three summers scheduling volunteers for my local food drive, I used my organizing experience to devise a new scheduling system, one that didn’t rely on our outdated technology. I brought up the system at our weekly meeting, and after initial pushback, everyone agreed to give it a try. Three months later, my system keeps everyone happy and our kitchen and floor staffed.

But it wasn’t just the staffing problem that was the issue. Our workflows were inefficient, and we didn’t know how to communicate or collaborate effectively. I know that identifying an issue is always the first step to a solution, so I raised the question at our most recent staff meeting. Having earned my coworkers’ and bosses’ trust(( And here we see some good growth and leadership.)) , I led us in outlining a few new processes to streamline our productivity. In stark contrast to the failure I felt after spilling the macaroni and cheese, developing a new workflow with my coworkers made me proud. I hadn’t given in to the chaos, but I had worked thoughtfully and collaboratively to create new solutions.

I’m sure that won’t be my last time working in a disorganized environment or spilling macaroni and cheese. But I know that I’ll be ready to address whatever comes my way.

AO Notes on Rosie’s

If you’ve ever worked in a food establishment, then something in this essay will probably resonate with you. But I appreciate how the writer doesn’t get pulled into the negativity they experience. Instead, they focused their efforts (and their essay) on how they could make things better for everyone. That’s the kind of student admissions officers want to see on their campuses.

• Organization: The writer has to narrate and backtrack a bit at the beginning of the essay to make the introduction work. But it’s not confusing for a reader because they have very solid transitions. I also like how the action steps and reflection are organized in the narrative.
• Positive outlook: As an admissions officer, I would admire this student for their problem-solving skills. Working in that environment was surely tough, but they didn’t give up. They got to work and helped everyone out in the process.
• Humor: From the introduction to the conclusion, the writer incorporates subtle humor throughout. Because of it, we actually feel like we know the writer by the conclusion. Too much humor can overwhelm a personal essay, but just enough can help readers see who the writer really is.

Personal Statement Example #7: Gone Fishing

I pulled the line with my left hand and snapped the rod back with my right. The line split through the air above me like a knife through cake. I rigidly waved my right arm up and down to dry off my fly, which had started sinking from the weight of the water. Ready to cast, I loosened the grip on my left hand to release a few more feet of line, pulled my right arm back in a grandiose motion, and hammered it back down. I expected my line to fly out in front of me, gracefully floating back onto the surface of the water. Instead, I was met with a startling resistance. My fly had lodged itself into the bush behind me(( This opening paragraph has great vivid description. Here, we end on a moment of suspense that has left me intrigued about what will happen next.)) .

Annoyed, I waded through the tall, thick grass, rod under my arm and mosquitoes buzzing in my ears. This was the reality of fly fishing. In my short time as a fisherman, I’d caught far more trees, bushes, and riverweed than I had fish. What seems so elegant in movies like A River Runs Through It is actually a grueling process of trial and error. I took up flyfishing a year ago to conquer my fear of the outdoors(( Ah ha—we learn that this essay isn’t really about fly fishing. It’s about conquering a fear. And with that, we see that the stakes are high.)) . I could have (and probably should have) chosen a more mild activity like hiking or kayaking, but I’ve always been one to take on a challenge.

I had been afraid of the outdoors since childhood. Coming from a family that prefers libraries to parks and bed and breakfasts to tents, I never learned how to appreciate nature. I limited my time outside as much as I could. I feared the bugs, the sun, and the unknown.

I decided to try flyfishing when I realized I didn’t want to be controlled by my fear any longer(( As an AO, I would applaud this student’s bravery.)) . All the birthday parties I’d turned down, the memories that were made without me, I had missed out on so much. Being outside was an integral part of the human experience—or, at least, that’s what I’d been told. Without being willing to enjoy nature, I was missing out on what it meant to be myself.

Soon after this realization, I found an old rod in my grandpa’s garage and took it as a sign from the universe. On my first time out, my Honda Civic lurched over a ditch on the gravel road Google Maps had directed me to. I’d spent hours watching YouTube videos of proper technique. Stepping out of my car, I felt my skin crack under the dry heat, and I wanted to leave. But I continued on, walking through branches and over logs to the riverbank. I was doing it( More vivid detail that really gives us a sense of the writer’s discomfort—yet they’re persisting.)) .

I pushed myself to continue, no matter how uncomfortable I got. I went back, Saturday after Saturday, each time noticing improvements in my abilities. Along the way, I learned to push myself to do things that make me uncomfortable. I saw myself in a new light. I wasn’t Charlie, afraid of the outdoors. I was Charlie, fisherman.

The first time I caught a fish, I could hardly believe it. Thinking I had caught another piece of riverweed, I tugged on my line and rolled my eyes. But suddenly, it started tugging back. It was a sensation I’d never experienced before, one of haste, pride, and panic. I instantly collected myself, bracing against the bank as I secured the line with my finger and slowly pulled the fish ashore. Delicately removing my hook from its mouth, I admired its beauty. Whereas I had once feared creatures like this trout, I now respected it. Its holographic scales glistened in the sunlight. I thanked it for helping me grow, and I placed it back in the water. It swam away. I wiped the slime off my hands and picked up my rod, left hand tugging at the line, right hand snapping back again((This conclusion is quite long, but I really like this poetic ending. It shows so much growth, and there’s a subtle nod to the fact that the writer is continuing to fish.)) .

AO Notes on Gone Fishing

From all this imagery, I really felt like I was fishing alongside them. What’s better, I feel like I really get where this student is coming from because of their vulnerability. They show immense growth and open-mindedness, which is exactly what admissions officers are looking for.

• Imagery: This writer definitely likes creative writing. From the introduction, we can envision ourselves going on this journey with the writer. There is some excellent “show, don’t tell” here.
• Deep personal meaning: Biggest fears are hard to overcome, especially with such a good attitude. It’s clear that this topic is a meaningful one to the writer. Even the act of fly fishing, which they didn’t seem to like much at first, becomes a meaningful act.
• Narrative arc: We have a classic “going on a journey” essay, where the writer transforms on a journey from point A (being afraid of the outdoors) to point B (catching a fish). The writer’s implementation of this structure is excellent, which makes the essay easy to follow.

Good Personal Statement Examples

Even if your essay isn’t worthy of The New Yorker , you can still make your mark on admissions officers. Writing an essay that fulfills all the goals of a personal statement, whether or not it meets every single criterion an admissions officer is looking for, can still get you into a great college.

Most personal statements are good personal statements, so don’t worry if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the amazing essay examples you see online. The key to writing a good personal statement is writing your personal statement. Focus on finding a topic that lets you communicate your own meaning and voice, and you’ll be set.

The following examples are awesome personal statements. There may be a little room for improvement in places, but the essays do exactly what they need to do. And they say a lot about their writers. Let’s see what the writers and admissions officers have to say.

Personal Statement Example #8: Beekeeper’s Club

As I lift the heavy lid of the hive, the hum of thousands of bees fills my ears. I carefully smoke the entrance to calm the bees, and I begin to inspect the frames. The bees are busy at work, collecting nectar and pollen, and tending to their young. I am in awe of their organization.

I never would have thought that I, a high school student, would become a beekeeper(( An interesting hobby for a high school student! I’m intrigued to see where this is going.)) . But now it’s something I can’t imagine my life without.

It all started when I found a beekeeping suit at a garage sale two summers ago. At a mere five dollars, it was yellowing and musty, but it appeared to be fully intact and without any holes. I’ve lived many lives as a hobbyist, always willing to try new things. I’ve been a sailor, a gardener, a basketball player, a harpist, a rock climber, and more. The problem is that I can never manage to see these hobbies through(( I see. Here we get a sense of what’s at stake in this new venture. The problem is that writer can’t seem to hold down a hobby. Will beekeeping solve that problem? Let’s find out .)) . As a perpetual novice, I always lose interest or become overwhelmed by all the information. But that’s never stopped me from taking up a new hobby, so I brought the beekeeping suit to the make-shift register and handed the seller a five-dollar bill.

To embark on my new hobby, I first went to the library and read everything I could find about beekeeping. Research is always my first step when starting something new. I like to know what I’m in for. As I read, I became fascinated by the fact that such small creatures can serve such a critical role on our planet. I learned about the importance of bees for pollinating crops, and I read that their populations have been declining in recent years. I was determined to do my part to help. This wasn’t just a hobby anymore— it was a mission(( And the stakes just got higher.)) .

But like the bees I’d been reading about, I knew I couldn't do it alone. My years of abandoning hobbies had taught me that this time, I needed guidance from someone with experience. I knew the first place to look. At the farmer’s market that Saturday, I went straight to the honey stand and introduced myself. The vendor’s name was Jeremy, and he was excited to see someone so young taking up beekeeping. I asked if I could come see his hives sometime, and he agreed.

I showed up the next weekend with my used beekeeping suit in hand. Jeremy gave me a tour. I was astounded by the simultaneous simplicity and complexity. As the months went by, Jeremy became my mentor. He taught me the importance of monitoring the health of the hive, how to properly harvest honey, and even the ins and outs of the farmer’s market business.

I was grateful for his guidance and friendship. I found myself becoming more and more passionate about bees and the art of beekeeping.

After months of tending to my hive, I finally had it up and running. These bees were in my care(( The writer has shown us that they’ve learned a big lesson from their past failures: they need support and guidance. I’m impressed that this time they are making an intentional change.)) —this was one hobby I couldn’t abandon. With that knowledge and Jeremy’s support, one hive grew to five. I’m not in it for the money or even the honey. I’m in it for the bees, for the millimeter of difference I’m making in their lives and in the life of the earth.

Through beekeeping, I have found a community of people who share my love for bees. Jeremy, the bees, and the entire beekeeping community have taught me not to quit. We support each other, share tips and advice, and work together to help protect these important insects. And in the process, I have learned that I can take up any new hobby I want and stick with it if I just put in enough effort(( Yep—the writer has come out of this journey on the other side, having learned that their effort does pay off.)) .

AO Notes on Beekeeper’s Club

As an admissions officer, it’s always fun to read about students’ eccentric hobbies. I’d count this as one of them. But what’s better than learning about the hobby is seeing a student’s personal growth.

What makes this essay good:

• Personal journey: Most good personal statements show some kind of personal growth. In this case, we see that the writer has grown mature and aware enough to hold down a hobby. We see that it wasn’t an easy road, but they got there.
• Strengths: There are lots of strengths in this personal statement. We see self-awareness, initiative, teamwork, and care for the bees and the planet.
• Reflection: Part of what makes this personal journey so good is that the writer takes us on the journey with them through reflection. At each stage of the journey, we know exactly what the writer is thinking and feeling. By the end, we’re celebrating their success with them.

What the writer could do to level up:

• Personal meaning: Yep, “personal journey” and “personal meaning” can be two separate things. Although the writer goes on a great personal journey, the personal meaning seems to be lacking a bit. It’s clear that this is an important topic to the writer, but it doesn’t exactly come across as an especially vulnerable one. The writer could make it more vulnerable by incorporating more personal meaning into their reflection: what would it have meant if they had quit beekeeping too? What’s the problem with dropping hobbies in the first place? Why is it personally important to learn to stick with things?

Personal Statement Example #9: Ann

Pushing her blonde curls from her forehead, she pursed her lips in focus(( This vivid, detailed description really draws me in.)) . She sat with legs crossed across the kitchen chair. This was it: the moment she’d been preparing for. Her tiny hand gripped the pencil as if it were a stick of dynamite and twitched her fingers up, down, and back again. She looked up at me and smiled, teeth too big for her growing mouth. “Ann,” the paper read. As I glowed back at my mini-me, I saw in her my whole heart(( And here the focus switches from Ann to the writer—an important transition.)) .

My sister was technically an accident, born when I was eleven years old. But I know that, in the grand scheme of things, Ann’s existence was destined by the cosmos. Watching her write was like looking in a mirror. My hair has long since turned brown, but she and I deal with the same unmanageable curls. Her toothy grin developed over five years of mutual laughter. And she got that unwavering focus from watching me do my own homework each night. At the same time I’ve taught her the ways of the world, she’s taught me joy, patience, and persistence(( Lessons learned! This sentence really draws attention to the main theme. It could be a little more specific because “joy, patience, and persistence” are almost cliche.)) .

I had been an only child for my first decade of life. I remember being lonely and without purpose. With Ann came the opportunity to make a real impact on someone, even as a child myself. The night she was born, I vowed to protect her. I had never seen anyone so small and fragile, and I begged my parents to let me hold her. Next to mine, her hand looked like a doll’s. It was purple and pink from the ordeal of birth. Her eyes barely opened, but I couldn’t keep mine off her.

Many older siblings find their younger siblings to be nuisances. But Ann has always been my best friend. Her first two years of life, she struggled with health issues that scared us all. I felt helpless and afraid, but I knew I had to fight alongside her. I did everything I could: I grabbed diapers and bottles for my parents, I talked to her for hours on end, and, when she was old enough, I spoon fed her and encouraged her to eat. As Ann grew bigger and stronger, I grew stronger, too(( It sounds like this was a really difficult challenge for the writer and their family. I appreciate this picture we get of the writer in relation to Ann.)) .

Each year has gotten better than the previous. I was there to catch Ann when she took her first steps, teach her her first words, and get her dressed every day. She tagged behind me as I took photos before my first dance, got my learner’s permit, and went on my college tours. While being a teen with a toddler sibling wasn’t always perfect, Ann’s mere presence makes those around her feel loved and appreciated. She’s exactly who I aspire to be.

Watching her write her name at the kitchen table, I became overwhelmed with the thought of leaving her to head off to college. She still has so much to learn, so many ways to grow. But just as the thought entered my mind, she spoke in her high-pitched and innocent voice. “When you go to college,” she asked, “will you tell me about your classes?” I blinked away the tears gathering in my eyes, smoothed her curls with my hand, and pulled her in close.

Going to college won’t mean leaving Ann. It will mean opening her world—and mine—to endless new knowledge and possibilities. She’ll grow and change, and so will I. When we reunite, we’ll smile our toothy smiles and embrace each other, our curly hair intertwining. We’ll sit at the kitchen table, focused and laughing, like nothing has changed(( I like how the siblings are continuing to grow together, but at the end of the day, they still have their amazing relationship.)) .

AO Notes on Ann

I always find sibling essays like this one so sweet. It’s amazing how clearly we can understand someone solely through their interactions with a loved one. As an admissions officer, I would see that this student would be a great community member (and roommate!).

• Deeply meaningful: Especially with the family context, it’s apparent that this topic is deeply meaningful to the writer. Because it’s so meaningful a topic, the writer is able to show an immense amount of care for Ann without even trying. AOs love seeing traits like care, maturity, and the ability to grow.
• Clear message: Personal statements should have themes that encompass the main message the writer wants to convey. This essay’s message is clear as day: the writer is a better, happier, more generous person because of Ann. They are an awesome sibling.
• More about the self: This one’s tricky because we get an implicit sense of who the writer is now through the overall tone and meaning. But a lot of the personal examples the writer chose are old examples from childhood and early adolescence. Some of those are important to provide family context, but I still would have liked to get a more recent picture of the writer.

Personal Statement Example #10: Running through My Neighborhood

My mind and eyes began to wander as I turned the corner on my fourth mile. I’ve always been a runner. It's a way for me to relax and challenge myself. Running makes me feel like I’m one with the world around me. As I run, I can't help but be struck by the beauty of the buildings and people that make up my city. Each is a work of art—a carefully-crafted expression of my community. With every step, I feel a deep connection to the life around me(( This introduction covers a lot, so this last sentence could be a bit more specific.)) .

On my run, I find myself drawn to the intricate details of the buildings. I admire the way the light catches on centuries-old bricks, casting shadows that dance across the pavement below. I look up at the skyscraper windows that nearly touch the sky, frightened at the sight of window washers. Old and new, the buildings all carry stories.

In the same way, I admire the neighbors around me. I see them feeding pigeons, smiling at me as I pass by. They’re walking dogs and babies, talking on a park bench, and playing hopscotch. I run by them, fast but steady, and breathe it all in. I’m on this beautiful city block, surrounded by people whose whole lives are familiar yet mysterious, and I’m running.

But it's not just the aesthetic beauty of the buildings that grabs my attention. As I run, I find myself thinking about the stories and histories behind each one. I wonder about the people who built them, the families they had at home, the lives they led. I think about the people who have lived and worked in these buildings and the memories that have been made within their walls.

Take the local bakery, for instance. I’ve run by there a thousand times in my life, each time soaking up the smell of freshly-baked bread and pastries. The building seems unassuming at first, with a simple glass door and brick façade. But once you step foot inside, you’re immediately hit with the warmth of the staff and patrons. The old photos on the wall and cozy furniture that has been there since the bakery’s opening back in the 1950s—it feels like home(( These are great vivid details.)) . The bakery is everything I value about my neighborhood. It completely represents what kind of neighbor I want to be. Plus, it’s not a bad place for a post-run snack.

Through my runs, I’ve also made connections with those who frequent the sidewalks alongside me. One of the people I see regularly on my runs is Mrs. Carter, an elderly woman who always has a kind word and a smile for everyone she meets. Her white hair is carefully curled, and her face is dimpled with laugh lines from thousands of conversations like ours. She often stops to chat with me, asking how my day is going and sharing stories from her own life. I always look forward to seeing her. She’s like the grandmother I never had. Mrs. Carter inspires me to be a better community member every day(( This kind of reflection brings the focus back to the writer’s personal journey.)) .

Running through my neighborhood is about more than just staying fit. It’s also about being in community with those around me. As I weave through the people on the sidewalk, I feel as though I am weaving myself through their stories, picking up tidbits and adding them to my own narrative. I wouldn’t be who I am today without these runs that have taught me so much. I can’t wait to run across my college campus, admiring my new surroundings and meeting my new neighbors(( I like this gesture to the future—as an AO, I would start to picture this student running through my campus, too!)) .

AO Notes on Running through My Neighborhood

Running essays can get a bad rap in college admissions. But this one overcomes that stereotype. At its core, this essay is about the runner’s relationship to their community. I really appreciate how much care and enthusiasm this writer shows for those around them.

• Writing: The writer’s voice shines through. They have great vivid descriptions, and we’re really able to envision ourselves in the neighborhood alongside them.
• Personal meaning: The way the writer describes those they encounter in their neighborhood shows that this isn’t a minor part of their life. Their runs are a big deal. The people they see along the way have greatly shaped who they are.
• Greater focus on self: Now, there are much worse culprits when it comes to personal essays that focus on people other than the writer. But the writer does toe the line. Their descriptions mostly focus on those around them, and while there is some reflection that connects their own experience to other people, it doesn’t actually take up much space in the essay. To level up, the writer could make this essay more about themself.

Personal Statement Example #11: Musical Installation Art

As a child, I was always drawn to stringed instruments(( The hook could have more punch, but this gets the job done.)) . I would pluck at my dad's old guitars, create makeshift harps with dental floss, and even play around with the banjo and harp in music class. As I got older, I realized that I wanted to focus on making my own instruments. And where better to start than in my dad's scrapyard? The yard sprawled out for almost five acres behind our house. It was a marvel of junk and oddities, with the accumulated garbage from hundreds of junker cars built up in our backyard. I grew up playing there, leading a childhood that most parents would probably see as reckless—rolling tires through narrow alleyways between crushed cars stacked high. But for me, the backyard was an endless playground for my imagination.

It was there that I discovered the joys of welding and soldering. I would rummage through piles of metal and find pieces that I could fashion into something new. My first sculptures were simple, resembling birds or dogs and pieced together from strips of metal. I’d look for similar art everywhere I went, grasping for inspiration. At a fair one weekend, I saw a booth run by an artist who built guitars. After speaking with him about his art, he asked to see a picture of my sculptures. I showed him and explained that I hoped to make my own instruments one day, too. He scuttled to the back of his tent and returned with a gift: a set of thick copper strings. “Try using those,”(( What an endearing story.)) he told me.

My first sculpture instrument was a crude thing—little more than a board of metal with pegs that I used to pull the copper strings tight. But I tightened them, I was in love—spending all night plucking away. At first, the instrument wailed and screeched. String by string, I delicately tuned the wires into sirens. I had created something that played music, and I was so proud.

My experience building the instrument motivated me to enroll in a sculpture class at the local community college. It was there that I learned how to properly solder metal and create more complex structures. For my final project, I made a three-foot-tall, four-stringed metal instrument in the shape of a dragon.

But as I worked, I started to realize that my dragon wasn't going to be beautiful in the traditional sense. Its metal body was jagged and uneven, and the strings were stretched tight across its back in a way that produced discordant, almost abrasive music. I tried to adjust the tuning, but no matter what I did, the music remained harsh and unpleasant.

At first, I was disappointed. I wanted my dragon to be a work of art, something that people would marvel at and love listening to. But as I continued to play with it, I started to see the beauty in the chaos(( This paragraph shows wonderful growth. And as a reader, I’m drawn in trying to imagine what the sculpture actually looks like.)) . The music it produced was like a musical language that I had invented, one that was wild and untamed. It was a reflection of my own creativity and individuality. A discordant collection of notes that sounded like they’d been tuned so as to be atonal. But I didn't care. I was a scrapyard kid, and this dragon played the song of my people: strong, innovative, and beautiful.

The combination of sculpture and music fascinates me. How does the shape of a fabrication affect the kind of sound that the object produces? What sounds do different materials produce? As I’ve learned more about sculpture, I’ve also become interested in installation art that has sound dimensions. I want to capture people’s visual and aural attention to inspire questions about how we navigate the aesthetic world(( It sounds like this topic potentially relates to the student’s future goals. If that’s true, there could be a clearer academic connection here.)) . And I’ll use whatever scraps I can find to make my creations.

AO Notes on Musical Installation Art

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a piece of musical installation art myself, so this topic really held my attention. I appreciate the journey the writer went on to learn that their art may not look like everyone else’s, but it can be just as impactful.

• Topic: I like this topic not only because it’s not one you see every day but also because it lets the writer reveal a lot about themself and their background. We see where they grew up and who they grew up with, and we also learn about this deeply meaningful personal interest.
• Writing style: This author has a very distinct writing style. In some ways, the writing style mirrors their art style—abrupt at times, melodic at others.
• Organization: The first half of this essay doesn’t always match up with the second half. Even though we’re still able to see the writer’s journey as a metal artist and musician, there’s still a bit of streamlining that needs to happen.

Personal Statement Example #12: Ski Patrol

I can never get enough of being in the mountains(( This hook isn’t very compelling, so it could use some more attention.)) . I am a skier through and through. Growing up, I spent countless family vacations on the slopes with my dad and siblings. I love the rush I get speeding down the mountain—I’ve improved so much over my life that I can now handle most runs I come across. But last year, I took my love for skiing to a whole other level by joining ski patrol.

It was mid-December, and my family had decided to take a weekend away to go skiing. Everything was going normally at first. We had a good day on the slopes and wanted to go one more run before calling it a night. We took a moment to rest and watched the person in front of us go. Only seconds after she headed down the mountain, something happened with her ski. She catapulted into a nearby tree. People raced to check on her, while we stayed back and alerted ski patrol.

When ski patrol arrived, I watched in amazement. They moved in such a precise way. They were like a machine—everyone knew exactly what to do when. Thankfully, it was a false alarm and the skier only had a few scratches. But my own life was changed forever. I knew then that I wanted to be a part of this team, to help others in a tangible way and to make a difference on the mountain that had always been my home.

As soon as I could, I applied for the Junior Ski Patrol team. I had to go through a tryout process on the hill, which made me nervous. But it felt good to be surrounded by people who loved skiing as much as I do. Thankfully, I was accepted shortly after; it was one of the best days of my life. Now on Junior Ski Patrol, I have the opportunity to do what I love – skiing – while also making a positive impact on others(( And here we get to the heart of the essay. The writer wants to help others while doing something they love. It’s a noble pursuit!)) . My team shadows the adult Ski Patrol, and we learn a lot of lessons along the way.

On the mountain (and in life), you never know what challenges might arise. One of the most important things I’ve learned from Junior Ski Patrol is to be prepared for anything. I’ve gotten my CPR and first aid certifications so I’m always prepared to administer life-saving care to anyone who might need it. I know how to pack a bag full of enough essentials to survive harsh weather or injuries.

But ski patrol has also taught me so much more than just how to help others. It has shown me how I work best on a team. I’m not naturally a leader, which is something I’ve always felt ashamed about. After learning from our mentors who all fulfill different roles on their adult Ski Patrol team, I realized that I don’t have to be a leader to be a good team member. The quiet collaborators who can follow the lead, take initiative when needed, and do their jobs really well are just as important as the people who are front-and-center(( An important personal insight.)) .

Being on ski patrol as a high school student has been an incredible journey, and I am grateful for the opportunity to be a part of such a dedicated team. More importantly, I’m proud of the growth I’ve experienced. I went from a person who just loves skiing to a person who is more confident in herself. I no longer feel unprepared or timid. I know exactly how to keep myself safe and work alongside others. While I don’t want to be a professional Ski Patroller or even go into medicine, I know these lessons will serve me well wherever life takes me(( As an AO, I would have been wondering if being on JSP made them want to study medicine, so I appreciate that they answered it for me!)) . But no matter where I end up, when the mountain calls, you know I’ll answer.

AO Notes on Ski Patrol

In this fun hobby-meets-accomplishment essay, the writer shows us their strengths of care and teamwork. I like the crossover between something that they really enjoy and this impressive accomplishment they have of being on Junior Ski Patrol.

• Lessons learned: The writer makes it very clear what lessons they learned from Junior Ski Patrol. Lessons don’t always have to be this explicit, but I appreciate how the writer really takes the time to reflect on what they’ve learned.
• Personal insight: Okay, this point is related to the lessons learned. But it’s important to draw out on its own because personal essays are, of course, personal. This topic easily could have been just about skiing down a mountain or administering first aid on patrol. Instead, the writer kept the focus inward to meet the expectations of a personal essay.
• What’s at stake?: We do get a good sense of personal meaning. But the writer could do a better job of speaking to the significance of this activity to their life. A good question to ask is, “What’s at stake?” What would I have lost or gained if this story had turned out differently? Asking these questions can also help you figure out what it is that you want an admissions officer to learn from your personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #13: The Regulars

One pump of vanilla syrup. Frothed milk. One espresso shot. Caramel drizzle(( Starting with some version of the following sentence would have been a stronger hook.)) . Like a scientist at her bench, I have methodically repeated these steps four days a week for the past two years. During my time as a Starbucks barista, I’ve learned hundreds of recipes and customizations. I know all the secret menu hacks, and I’ve developed several recipes for friends and family too. I pride myself on speed, quality, and memory. My favorite part of the job is the customer service. As one of the busiest locations in the region, I’ve caffeinated thousands. But it’s my regular customers, those whose orders I know like the back of my hand, who have truly impacted me.

Venti Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew, hold the vanilla syrup. A busy mom of four, Chelsea is always in a hurry. I try to catch her the moment she enters the store so I can get started right away. Her Venti drink fuels her through school dropoffs and pickups, gymnastics lessons, and evening math homework. Throughout my conversations with her, I’ve learned that Chelsea is a scheduling virtuoso. As someone with ADHD(( This paragraph is almost too much about Chelsea, so this sentence is crucial to bring the focus back to the writer.)) , I became so inspired by her ability to juggle so many people and schedules simultaneously. After asking her for advice, she helped me find a time management system that I can keep up with. I have Chelsea to thank for my improved grades.

Grande dark roast, no room for cream. Mr. Williams is a retired businessman who always tips 100%. Mr. Williams is a quiet man, so it took me months to draw any information from him. Instead of using my over-the-top customer service voice, I eventually learned to be myself. When I got him to open up, I discovered that he was a service worker himself before he made it big in business in his sixties. The truth is, Mr. Williams has tipped me hundreds of dollars throughout my time here, which is extra money that will help me pay for college. He’s taught me the value of quiet generosity(( Let’s be honest. Mr. Williams sounds like a cool guy. But Mr. Williams isn’t applying to college—the writer is! I like that we get small glimpses into who the writer is through this paragraph, but there’s still room for more.)) .

Tall soy London Fog. Sweet Darla gave up coffee twenty-five years ago, but she still loves an occasional treat. When Darla enters, I clear my schedule. She always has stories to tell about the eighty years of life she’s lived. Darla is everything I want to be at that age: she’s spunky, opinionated, and hilarious(( Here we learn a lot about the writer through Darla.)) . Sometimes I tell Darla stories of my own. When I explained the dramatic series of events that led to me landing first chair in my symphony, she said she was going to retell it her bridge club. Making Darla laugh so hard will always be one of my proudest moments.

Grande iced matcha. Taylor is my age and goes to my school. When I took her order for the first time, I felt embarrassed that I needed to work to support myself while she could enjoy expensive drinks. But her kindness softened me. As time went on, I learned that she visited Starbucks so much because she wanted to get out of her house, which wasn’t a very happy place. While I have to take on as many shifts as possible, I still have a happy home to return to afterward. Now Taylor comes in near the end of my shift so we can take our drinks and have dinner at my house.

When you work in customer service, customers enter and exit your life like a revolving door. But the regulars, those special people who draw connections from daily but brief interactions, stick with you for life. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for these people, and I would never have met them if it weren’t for my job as a barista. I haven’t just been making drinks these past two years. I’ve been making friends(( The conclusion does a good job tying all these different stories back together. )) .

AO Notes on The Regulars

No one appreciates a good barista story more than a tired admissions officer on their 30th application of the day! I like the personality that comes through in this essay especially. But this is one of those cases where it’s almost too much about other people.

• Creative take: Not every college essay needs a creative flair. In fact, sometimes going for “unique” structures can detract from an essay. But I like how the writer uses this format to structure the essay.
• Organization: This essay isn’t one a reader is bound to get lost in. The introduction sets up the essay well, it’s easy to see the connections between the points the writer is conveying, and the conclusion brings the focus back to the writer.
• More focus on self: While we do learn about the writer in this essay, we also learn a lot about Chelsea, Mr. Williams, Darla, and Taylor. The writer could have pared down the descriptions of other people—or cut one of the examples altogether—to save more room for personal reflection.

“Bad” Personal Statement Examples

These “bad” essays aren’t necessarily bad. They just aren’t very effective personal statements. Specifically, these two essays make some of the biggest college essay mistakes.

Making mistakes, especially when you’ve never written a personal statement before, is to be expected. We’ve included these examples so you can see what those mistakes look like in real-time. Learning from ineffective examples can be just as helpful as learning from the exceptional ones, so grab your pencil and start taking notes.

Our admissions officers have highlighted what’s working and what’s not. They offer helpful commentary and advice for revisions that you can use to assess your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #14: The Worst Year

My sophomore year of high school presented me with so many challenges(( This hook definitely gets straight to the point, but it doesn’t draw me in as a reader.)) . I struggled with a lot that year and barely managed to get by. It was the greatest challenge I ever faced.

The year started out like any other but soon went into chaos. My brother suddenly started struggling with drugs and alcohol. Before that, we didn’t know how bad he was hurting. But one night he finally came to us for help because apparently he had been using substances to cope with his emotions. He was scared because he felt like he had reached a breaking point and needed support. My parents didn’t want to help because they thought that he didn’t have a problem but I know my brother and I knew that he didn’t seem like himself. It was so sad to watch him go through that. I tried my best to help him but I was only a kid. I couldn’t really do anything besides tell him I loved him. Eventually my parents decided to get him some help, so he went away for a while and I wrote him letters every week and visited him as much as I could. The treatment he got helped thankfully. He’s doing better now and I am grateful that he is my brother.

But then Covid hit and I couldn’t even leave my house. We thought it would just be a two week vacation to school but it turned into two whole years of my life gone just like that. At the beginning I was stuck in my bedroom while my parents were working their jobs from the living room. Everyone was constantly getting annoyed with each other and driving each other wild. I would be doing a class Zoom in my room and I could hear my parents in a meeting in the living room. I had a hard time not being able to see my friends. I couldn't focus and my grades dropped. Even my teachers didn’t really seem to care. I was sick of staring at black Zoom screens all the time that I even stopped logging on. All of that combined led to me becoming very depressed and anxious. My grades dropped even more because I just couldn’t pay attention or focus enough to do my homework. I ended up getting grades way lower than I ever thought I would that year and I’m so frustrated about it because it felt like I was trying my best but it just wasn’t enough(( Here we see the writer opening up a bit and reflecting on what it was like to go through that experience.)) .

Even once we finally got back in school things didn’t get much better. The pandemic was just too much for my family so my parents ended up getting divorced at the beginning of my junior year. After all we had been through together seeing them separate made me devastated. My dad got an apartment and I had to go back and forth between their houses and pack up all my stuff every time. It was like moving my entire life every weekend. My brother was out of the house by this point so it was just me all by myself. My school was far from my dad’s new place so I’d have a long commute on the weeks I was with him. He was stressed at work and about the divorce and I just ended up feeling so lonely and spending most of my time in my room. My grades got better once online school stopped(( This moment of hope does a lot for moving the essay forward.)) but I had a hard time keeping close relationships with my friends because they didn’t like that I was living far away now and that we couldn’t really hang out anymore.

I couldn’t believe that two years would change so much. Getting through everything really challenged me. But I’m glad to be moving forward with my life.

AO Notes on The Worst Year

This student definitely had a challenging year. It’s clear that they’ve overcome a lot, and I appreciate their willingness to share their struggles. I like that the very last sentence

What this essay does well:

• Vulnerability: Writing about challenges is never easy, especially when you’re writing to people you don’t know. This writer is bold and unafraid in doing so.

What could be improved on:

• Not enough positivity: Here’s the thing. You definitely don’t need to be able to spin all of your challenging experiences into positive ones. But the topics you choose to write your college essay about should ultimately conclude on a positive note. You want your college essay to show you in a positive light, so you should choose a topic that lets you find a light, positive, or hopeful resolution.

Personal Statement Example #15: The Strikeout that Changed My Life

The stadium lights shone brightly in my eyes. I stepped up to the plate and drew back my bat. I wiggled my fingers, waiting. The pitcher wound up his arm and threw the ball towards me. My eyes worked overtime to track the ball. I watched as it flew directly towards the center of the plate and made a last-minute curve(( I like this vivid description.)) . It went straight into the catcher’s mitt. “Strike three!” the umpire yelled. That was the time I struck out at the quarter-finals. My team was so close to making it to the championship that we could taste it. It was the bottom of the sixth, and I gave up a valuable chance to score game-winning runs. We ended up losing. I learned a valuable lesson that fateful day. I never wanted to let my team down like that again(( And the writer jumps quickly into the main theme of the essay. Still, the message here could be more specific.)) .

We had advanced through our bracket without much trouble. The other teams were no match for our work ethic and teamwork. We were in perfect sync. As the first baseman, I was ready for any throw that came my way. We were also hitting well. I scored three home runs throughout the course of the tournament. We were a high-functioning machine. But for a machine to work, each cog has to function correctly. When I stepped up to the plate in the sixth inning, I was a broken cog.

After our quarter–final loss, I grieved with my teammates. Then I went off on my own to think. How had I let my team down so badly? How did I not even try to swing at that pitch? It was all my fault. I had to figure out what I had done wrong so I would never make the mistake again. I realized that I had been thinking selfishly. I was concerned about my own performance, my own at-bat averages(( This is a good reflection.)) . I was scared of failing because I didn’t want to be embarrassed. And worrying about all of those things caused me to lose focus and miss my chance to make a difference. Instead, I should have been thinking about how my at-bat would contribute to my team’s overall goal of winning the game.

I returned to where my teammates were congregating, and several of them patted me on the back. The next day, we went over how the game went as a team and talked about how we could improve at our tournament the following weekend. I admitted that I felt like I let the team down. My teammates said that they understood and reassured me that mistakes happen. It wasn’t my failed at-bat alone that lost us the game. Like winning, losing is a team effort. It was a culmination of lots of little issues. At the end of the day, the other team just out-performed us. But we could try hard, practice a lot, and return triumphant next weekend.

Letting my team down was a crushing blow to my self-esteem. I never want to feel like that again, but I know that the experience caused me to grow. Through all of this, I learned that I have to trust myself and my team(( Here we get to the lesson learned.)) . Focusing on myself alone can only get me so far. But focusing on my team can get me to where I want to go. I’m actually thankful that I struck out in that sixth inning because it caused me to learn an important life lesson.

AO Notes on The Strikeout that Changed My Life

This essay on its own definitely isn’t “bad.” As far as essays go, it’s clear, well-written, and organized nicely. But as a college essay, it could be doing more work on the writer’s behalf. See, as an admissions officer, I don’t actually learn that much about the writer from this essay alone. I see that they like baseball, are a good teammate, and can overcome failure. Those are wonderful traits, but they don’t exactly help set this student apart on the admissions committee floor. Instead, the student could make this essay more vulnerable and personal.

• Writing: The writer uses some great creative writing skills to really set the scene for the readers. In that first paragraph, I really feel like I’m there watching the game.
• Reflection: Even though the topic could be more significant, the writer does a great job reflecting on the meaning they drew from the experience.
• Significance: It’s very clear that this topic holds a lot of meaning to the writer. But as a college essay topic, it lacks vulnerability and stakes.

Key Takeaways

Writing a personal statement is a difficult ask, especially when you’ve never even read one before. But now, with these fifteen examples in your back pocket, you’re ready to write your own.

If you’re not sure what steps to take next, hop on over to our guide to writing personal statements for advice. You can also find more extensive guidance on the Essay Academy , a comprehensive college essay writing video course and community.

Happy writing! 🥳

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Essay Examples 20 Personal Statement Examples That Stand Out + Why They Work

This is your ultimate list of Personal Statement examples.

In this post, you'll learn:

• What makes a successful Personal Statement
• How to write an irresistible Personal Statement
• Ivy League personal essay examples

If you're looking to read and write Personal Statement essays, you've found the right place.

In this post, I'm going to share everything you need to go from zero to having a Personal Statement essay you can be proud of.

This guide will help you get started writing an engaging Personal Statement essay. Or if you already have one, how to make it even better.

What is a Personal Statement Essay?

A personal statement, also called a statement of purpose (SOP) or personal essay, is a piece of creative, personal writing.

The purpose of your personal statement is to express yourself and your ideas. Personal statements usually aren't piece of formal writing, but still should be thoughtful and planned out.

Many applications for colleges, graduate schools, and scholarships require you to write a personal statement.

How to Write a Personal Statement Essay

While there are no rules or guidelines for writing a personal statement, the best ones often have these in common:

Have Strong Ideas:

Having compelling and interesting ideas shows you are a strong thinker.

It isn't necessarily about having all the answers, but asking the right questions.

For personal statement essays, the quality of your ideas matters more than your writing level. Writing interestingly is more important than writing beautifully.

I’ve stopped tripping over my own feet, and it’s led to me not being afraid to connect and interact with patients and customers or present in front of large crowds. Life is just one long Carioca – you might stumble at first, but if you keep pushing, the right feet will find themselves in the right place. From an accepted essay to UNC at Chapel Hill →

Be Authentic

Writing authentic essays means writing from the heart.

The best personal statements tend to come naturally, because the writer is excited about the topic.

Choose an idea that makes you feel excited to write about and start writing.

As you begin drafting, ideas will naturally arise related to your original idea. Exploring these tangential ideas is what leads to even better reflections for your essay.

That's why it's so important to be genuinely passionate about your subject. You can't just have an interest "in the topic," but there has to be something deeper you're writing about that moves you.

Use Narratives and Story-Telling:

Humans are naturally drawn to stories.

And often the best insights and ideas come from real life experiences.

Telling a story, or many, is the basis for developing your analysis and ideas. Remember, all stories need conflict in order to work.

It can help to think about the different types of conflict.

• Character vs. Self
• Character vs. Character
• Character vs. Nature
• Character vs. Society

And so on...

Once you've written a meaningful story, getting insights is as simple as answering the question: What did your experiences teach you?

The sounds of my knife striking kale unnerves my cat asleep in the corner. He quickly runs over to examine the situation but becomes instantly uninterested when he sees green and smells bitterness. Unfortunately, my family has this same reaction every day of every week. From an accepted essay to University of Southern California →

Showcase Your Values and Identity:

The purpose of a personal statement is to tell about who you are.

Personal statements are your opportunity to showcase what your values are, and how you would contribute to the school, scholarship opportunity, etc.

Good writers are those who write authentically. Write about your unique ideas and ask interesting questions, even if you don't know the answers.

How Long Should a Personal Statement Be?

A typical personal statement can range in length from 500 to 650 words or more.

For applying to colleges, the Common Application essay personal statement has a word limit of 650 words.

For graduate school programs, the application essay will vary in length, but most schools require a personal statement essay of at least 500 words.

20 Personal Statement EssaysThatWorked

It can be difficult to understand what makes a great essay without seeing some for yourself.

Here's 20 of our favorite personal statement essays that we've chosen for being unique and high-quality.

There essays were all accepted into some of the most selective schools. And while it isn't the only factor in admissions that matters, having outstanding essays can help tip the scales in your favor.

Table of Contents

Prompt: Background, Identity, or Interest

• 1. Uncomfortable Truths
• 2. Romanian Heritage
• 3. Film and Theater
• 4. Person of the Woods
• 5. Beautiful Walks

Prompt: Lessons from Obstacles

• 6. My Father
• 7. Self-Determination
• 8. Game Design Music
• 9. Speech and Debate

Prompt: Questioned or Challenged a Belief

• 10. Finding Answers

Prompt: Accomplishment, Event, or Realization

• 11. Connecting with Others
• 12. Summer Confidence
• 13. First Impressions
• 14. Law Career
• 15. Growing Up Asian

Prompt: Engaging Topic, Idea, or Concept

• 16. Secrets of Riddles
• 17. Rubik's Cube
• 18. Narrative Diversity

Prompt: Any Topic of Your Choice

• 19. Search for Dreams
• 20. Recipe for Success

Personal Statement Example #1: Uncomfortable Truths

This is a personal statement that worked for Princeton . It is outstanding for many reasons, but most of all because of its ideas and the thoughtfulness put into organizing them.

Common App Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 words)

Why This Essay Works:

Having a unifying idea is key to successful personal statements. Find your deepest idea or realization and focus your essay around that.

Find a way to showcase your achievements while connecting to broader, more universal ideas.

Connecting your ending to your beginning is a powerful way to bring your essay full circle. A great conclusion expands on your ideas introduced earlier, while leaving some room for more to be said.

Personal Statement Example #2: Film and Theater

This student's essay was accepted to USC , among other top schools. It's topic is seemingly simple—taking walks—but the author brilliantly shows how even in the mundane there can be meaningful reflections.

This essay has lots of moments where the author's character comes across vividly. By using conversational language and interjections like "I want to—no, need—to...", the author has a clear "voice" and you can easily imagine them as if they were speaking directly to you. This student also showcases self-awareness and a sense of humor, by using slightly self-deprecating phrases like "some chubby, nerdy girl" and by recognizing how the social approval of sitting with the "popular girls" was enthralling at the time. Self-awareness is a highly valuable trait to portray, because it shows that you're able to reflect on both your strengths and weaknesses, which is a skill needed to be able to grow and develop.

This author manages to tie in their activity of producing films and reference them specifically ("Cardboard Castles") by connecting them to their main point. Instead of listing their activities or referencing them out-of-the-blue, they show how these accomplishments are perfect examples of a greater message. In this case, that message is how meaningful it is to connect with others through storytelling. To write about your activities and achievements without seeming arbitrary or boastful, make them have a specific purpose in your essay: connect to a value, idea, or use them as examples to show something.

In the intro of this essay, there are some descriptions that seem fiction-like and are ultimately unimportant to the main idea. Sentences that describe Mrs. Brewer's appearance or phrases describing how their teacher stood up after talking to them ultimately don't contribute to the story. Although these provide "context," the only context that admissions are interested in is context and details which have a purpose. Avoid writing like fiction books, which describe all the characters and settings, and instead only describe exactly what is needed to "go somewhere" in your essay.

What They Might Improve:

This essay has a strong hook which captivates the reader by making them ask a question: "What are these lunch-time horror stories?" By sparking the reader's imagination early on, you can draw them into your writing and be more engaged. However, ultimately this is somewhat of a letdown because these intriguing "lunch-time horror stories" are never described. Although it may not be completely necessary for the main point, describing one example or hinting at it more closely would be satisfying for the reader and still connect to the main idea of storytelling. One idea is to replace the conclusion with a reference to these "lunch-time horror stories" more vividly, which would be a satisfying ending that also could connect to filmmaking and storytelling. In general, anticipate what the reader will be looking for, and either use that expectation to your advantage by subverting it, or give them what they want as a satisfying, meaningful conclusion.

Although this conclusion could work as is, it could be stronger by seeming less arbitrary and less "fancy for fancy sake." Often, a good strategy is to connect your conclusion to something earlier in your essay such as your introduction or specific wording that you used throughout. In this essay, it could work much better to end by revealing one of those "lunch-time horror stories" in a way that also emphasizes their main point: how storytelling is a powerful tool to connect people.

About This Personal Essay:

Personal statement example #3: romanian heritage.

This personal statement worked for UMichigan , among many other top schools like MIT, Rice, UNC at Chapel Hill , University of Pittsburgh, UW Madison, and more.

This author is able to vividly bring you into their world using cultural references and descriptive writing. You can practically taste and smell Buni's kitchen through her words.

This essay starts off by posing a challenge, which is typical of essays. But rather than showing how they overcame this particular challenge of speaking Romanian without an accent, this reader shows how something unexpected—baking—came to satisfy what was missing all along. By the end, this creates a conclusion that is both surprising, connected to the beginning, and makes perfect sense once you've read it. In other words, the conclusion is inevitable, but also surprising in content.

This student uses Romanian words to help exemplify the culture and language. If you're writing about a culture, using foreign language words can be a compelling way of adding depth to your essay. By including specific terms like "muni" and "cornulete," it shows a depth of knowledge which cannot be faked. Always use specific, tangible language where possible, because it is "evidence" that you know what you're talking about.

This student exhibits strong self-awareness by noting characteristics about themself, even some which may not be the most glamorous ("can be overbearing at times, stubborn in the face of offered help"). Rather than telling the reader flat out about these personal attributes, they are able to discuss them by connecting to another person—their grandmother Buni. Using another person to showcase your own character (through comparison or contrast) is a literary "foil," which can be an effective way of showing your character without stating it outright, which generally is boring and less convincing.

This student doesn't focus on surface-level ideas like "how they got better at speaking Romanian." Instead, they reflect in a creative way by connecting the Romanian language to baking. Revealing unseen connections between topics is a great way to show that you're a thoughtful and clever thinker. Ultimately, having unique ideas that are specific to you is what will create a compelling essay, and this essay is a perfect example of what that could look like.

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Personal Statement Example #4: Person of the Woods

This essay was accepted into Dartmouth College . It is a brilliant example of showing how any experience, even those which originally may have been unpleasant, can be the topic of meaningful reflection.

Using visuals, like descriptions of scenarios and environments, can help bring the reader into your world. However, make sure that all of your descriptions are relevant to your main point, or else they could be distracting. For example, in this essay it would be unnecessary to describe what they're wearing or the appearance of canoes, but it makes sense to describe the nature as it relates to the main topic.

People are not isolated units. Instead, everyone depends on and is defined by those around them. By showing how you relate and connect with other people, you can provide insights into your character. In this essay, the student does a great job of delving into their strong friendships, particularly what they've learned from their friends.

Admissions officers love to see self-growth. Showing how your perspective on something has changed (in this case, how they went from disliking to loving an activity) conveys a development of your character. Ask yourself: what preconceived notions did I have before, and how did they change? This student reflects in a humble way, by first emphasizing what they've learned from others, before offering up what they might have contributed themselves. Always try to have a tone of gratitude in your essays because it makes you more likeable and shows strong character.

Personal Statement Example #5: Beautiful Walks

Personal statement example #6: my father.

This personal statement was admitted to Michigan in recent years. It is an outstanding example of how you can write about topics that are often cliché if done poorly, such as the death of a family member.

But unlike other essays, this one works because it has a unique take and genuine approach to the topic that makes it come off as heartfelt.

Common App Prompt #2: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (250-650 words)

Writing about a tragedy like a loss of a parent is a tricky topic for college essays. Many students feel obligated to choose that topic if it applies to them, but it can be challenging to not come across as trying to garner sympathy ("sob story"). This student does a graceful job of focusing on positive elements from their father's legacy, particularly the inspiration they draw from him.

This student does a great job of connecting their educational and career aspirations to their background. Admissions officers want to understand why you're pursing what you are, and by explaining the origin of your interests, you can have compelling and genuine reasons why.

In this essay, the student writes from their hypothetical perspective as an infant. This doesn't quite work because they likely wouldn't remember these moments ("I have no conscious memories of him"), but still writes as though they do. By writing about things you haven't seen or experienced yourself, it can come across as "made up" or inauthentic.

Personal Statement Example #7: Self-Determination

Some of the best essay topics are dealing with challenges you've faced, because difficulties make it easier to reflect upon what you've learned. Admissions officers ultimately are looking for self-growth, and showing how you've handled personal challenges can demonstrate your new understandings as a result. However, avoid talking about "tragedy" or difficulty without a clear purpose. Don't write about it because you think "you should," only write about challenges if they are true to yourself and you have something meaningful and unique to say about them. Otherwise, it can come off as trying to garner sympathy (i.e. "sob stories") which admissions officers generally dislike.

More convincing than telling admissions officers, is presenting them with "evidence" and allowing them to come to the conclusion themselves. If you want to show the idea "I couldn't learn due to this condition," it is far more effective to do what this student did and say, "I'd just finished learning complex trig identities, and I now couldn't even count to ten." When drafting, it is normal and okay to start off with more "telling" as you get your ideas on paper. But as your essay progresses, you should transform those moments of "telling" into more powerful and convincing moments of "showing."

Having meaningful reflections is a critical part of having compelling essays. But make sure your takeaways are not surface-level or generic. Each admissions officer has likely read thousands of essays, so they are well aware of the common ideas and tropes. Avoid cliché ideas at all costs, because it comes across as forgettable and unoriginal. Instead, it is okay to start with surface-level ideas, but keep asking yourself probing questions like "Why" and "How" to push your ideas deeper.

This essay tells a nice story of overcoming their physical impediment, but ultimately lacks meaningful reflections in the conclusion. Too much time is spent on "the problem" and not enough on how they overcame it. Your conclusion should have your best, most compelling ideas in your entire essay. Try ending your essay by connecting to the beginning with a new perspective, expanding on your idea with a new takeaway, or connecting to broader, more universal themes. Avoid having a conclusion that "sounds nice," but ultimately is lacking in meaningful content.

Personal Statement Example #8: Game Design Music

This essay was admitted into Cornell University . It discusses a common conflict of ideology that comes with pursuing the arts. What the author does brilliantly is show how that conflict was reconciled, as well as how it changed their perspective.

My mom used to tell me this a lot. She’d always disapproved of my passion for the arts.

In this essay, the author does a fantastic job of showing how they are thoughtful in considering the perspectives of others, even though they may disagree. Showing that you can entertain ideas that you may disagree with is an admirable trait that admissions officers love to see, because intellectual discussion is all about trying to see other people's views. When writing about things that you may disagree with, try to play devil's advocate and see things from their point of view. Doing so will make you come off as thoughtful, understanding, and inquisitive, and it will strengthen your own viewpoint if you can identify arguments against it.

The best essays help admissions officers understand how you think about things. One strategy is to offer up questions to explore. These can be questions that arose during a particular moment or questions that you're reflecting upon right now. By using questions in your essay, you'll also present yourself as a thoughtful and curious thinker. Ultimately, you want to help the reader see things from your perspective by showing your thought process.

A good starting place for reflection can be in comparing and contrasting different topics. This could finding the similarities and differences in an extracurricular and an academic class, or any other number of things. By finding the similarities in things often thought of as "opposing," or finding the differences in things thought of as "similar," you can get to interesting ideas. Comparisons are useful because they force you to think from a different viewpoint. For example in this essay: How does "programming" relate to "song lyrics"?

This essay ends on a note that feels somewhat off-topic and not as interesting as their main idea. The conclusion leaves more to be wanted, as the reader ends up thinking: Are you simply seeking the approval of your parents? Or are you carving your own path in life? Or does the answer lie somewhere in between? Avoid ending your essay with a tangential idea. Instead, a strong conclusion is often closely related to the main point of your essay, but with a slight twist. By planning out your essay before writing, you can make sure that each point (from start to finish) connects the way you want it to and that your conclusion ends on a strong, well-connected note.

Personal Statement Example #9: Speech and Debate

I was still high off the competition, poring over ballots by the soft streetlights as we drove. “Are you sure you want to do this?” My Dad was worried about me. Worried about my world crashing down around me, losing friends, being crushed by hate. Scarred by controversy. I laughed it off, and we rode in silence.

Fast forward to my second or third year in the league. I wanted to have some fun. I emailed the regional coordinator, asking if there’s a rule against a speech advocating for same-sex marriage.

This essay has lots of interesting ideas about having discussions between people of different viewpoints. This student is able to reflect sincerely about what the benefit of that dialogue is ("iron sharpening iron") and able to draw meaningful conclusions ("hope lives in that laughter") that express deeper ideas. By focusing on these compelling reflections, this student shows themself as a brilliant and thoughtful thinker, while demonstrating what they value: discourse between opposing viewpoints. Rather than focusing on the literal happenings (i.e. giving a speech to their club), the student reflects on what that experience represents more broadly, which allows them to connect to deeper ideas.

This essay is full of details, without being wordy or drawn out. Even small details like naming the show "The Daily Show" or giving a number of "40,000+ theologies" makes their writing much more engaging and compelling. By avoiding broad and vague language, this student paints a fascinating picture that allows the reader to enter their world. It is always better to be specific than to be generic, but make sure that the specific details are always relevant to your point. This essay is a great example of how to do both.

This essay does a fantastic job of creating a "voice." That is, you can easily imagine the student as if they were speaking to you while reading it. To craft this voice, this student uses small moments of more informal language and interjecting remarks that show their thought process. Using parentheses can be a good way to show your voice by jumping in when you have a small remark to add. This student also demonstrates a sense of humor and lightheartedness while still discussing meaningful ideas. The sarcastic remark "because controversy has no place in a debate club!" demonstrates their values (of dialogue between differing viewpoints) as well as showing their sense of personality.

This essay's weakest point is its intro or "hook." In fact, it could work much better by excluding the introduction paragraph and starting off with the second paragraph: "Forgive the melodrama: this is a story..." That short phrase is much more captivating and immediately draws the reader in. The introduction paragraph in this essay is too much of a meandering and vague story: you don't know what they're talking about, and ultimately it doesn't matter. Rather than using a fancy story or descriptions to introduce your essay, try jumping into the "meat" of your essay immediately. Consider using a short, declarative sentence or phrase like "Forgive the melodrama" as a hook, which is more impactful and draws the reader immediately into your essay.

Personal Statement Example #10: Finding Answers

Common App Prompt #3: Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? (250-650 words)

My grandmother’s concern faded rather quickly as sirens fell distant and time passed.

After about 30 minutes, my grandfather’s friend ran toward the beach. My grandfather was not next to him. He was not there at all. At that moment, my grandma knew.

“Burt...he was with me...he slipped...he fell...I ran down the side of the mountain, off the trail, but I couldn’t find him. The park rangers are looking...” She stopped listening. She could see his lips moving, yet she heard nothing.

This essay repeats a lot of the same ideas or information, just using different words. Rather than "getting to the point," this repetition makes the essay feel meandering and like it is going nowhere ultimately. When drafting your essay, it is okay to have repetition (your drafts shouldn't be perfect, after all). But when editing, ask yourself with each sentence: does this add something new? Is this necessary to my main point? If not, you should exclude those sentences.

This essay starts off with a drawn-out story of the tragedy involving the author's grandfather. Most of this story is unnecessary, because all that really matters for this student's main idea is the fact that their grandfather passed away from a tragic accident. Details about his grandmother or his grandfather's best friend are unnecessary and distracting.

An important "rule" in college essays is to only write from your perspective. That is, don't describe things that you couldn't have seen or experienced. In this essay, the author spends a lot of time describing their grandfather's incident as if they was there to witness it. But we later learn that the author was not even alive at this point, so how could they be describing these things? On a smaller level, don't describe yourself from an outside perspective. For example, instead of, "I grimaced when I heard the news" (how did you see yourself grimace?) you could say, "I felt my stomach pang when I heard the news."

Your ideas are most valuable in your essays. Admissions officers want to see how you think, and having interesting ideas that are unique to you is how you demonstrate that you're thoughtful and insightful. Avoid surface-level ideas at all costs, as it comes off cliché. It is okay to start with more generic ideas, but you should always delve deeper. To get at deeper and more unique ideas, the key is to ask yourself questions. For example: Why is this the case? Why don't things work differently? What does this mean for other people? What does this represent? How can I apply this to other areas of life?

Personal Statement Example #11: Connecting with Others

Common App Prompt #5: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. (250-650 words)

It's important to create a "voice" in your personal statement, so that admissions officers can imagine your character and personality. Try to write as you would speak, but refined and polished. In this essay, natural-sounding phrases like "...let me admit, I was awful..." humanizes the author and makes the reader feel like they're being spoken to.

This essay is a perfect example of how effective essays don't need to have a super unusual story to be compelling. What makes this essay's story compelling is not necessarily the topic itself (meeting distant relatives), but instead how the student reflects and makes interesting connections to broader ideas. Even seemingly mundane experiences can make for meaningful personal statements topics.

This conclusion works well by connecting to the main story of the essay. However, certain phrases like "As a global citizen" and "I am hoping to forge relationships" are potentially too generic. Instead, try taking your main idea (in this case forming connections with others) and broaden it or connect to more universal ideas.

Personal Statement Example #12: Summer Confidence

This essay has a heartfelt moment where the author connects deeply with a camper and feels a sense of genuine gratitude. By showing their newfound connection with a person they were mentoring, this creates a sense of humanity and also tells a lot about the author themself. By talking about other people in your life, you create a literary "foil" which in turn describes something about yourself. Showing how you interact with others can be telling into your character, such as showing your empathy, sense of humor, friendliness, or how you draw inspiration from others.

This essay does a good job of expressing vulnerability, specifically the author's fears about the future and "deteriorating friendships" after going to college. By being vulnerable, these moments feel more relatable to the reader. Showing your struggles (especially emotional ones) can also make your later "successes" feel more impactful when you show how you've overcame them or persist in face of those struggles. By recognizing your flaws or insecurities, you also show self-awareness, which is a positive trait because you need to be self-aware in order to improve the areas of yourself you want to fix.

Although this essay does reflect upon the lessons learned during their time at this camp, the takeaways are ultimately surface-level and not delved into. Rather than saying things like "I had more confidence," it would be more engaging to show how that confidence made an effect and what exactly that "confidence" meant. This essay touches upon some meaningful lessons, but ultimately they fall flat because the nuances of these lessons are glossed over. Phrases like "upon further consideration it no longer fills me with...apprehension" don't delve into the most interesting part: How and why did that fear go away? What changed about your perspective and why? Instead, these are explained away with "confidence and maturity," which are too broad of terms and feel meaningless because they are overused in essays.

In your personal statement, it is completely OK to reference people by their first name. Using names makes your essay more vivid and engaging, while showing a deeper connection that you have with others. Rather than saying "other people" or "one of the older campers," it would be more impactful to use their first name. There are some caveats, however. Don't use their name if you're showing them in a negative light (which you probably shouldn't do anyway) or if you're revealing something personal about them. If you are revealing something personal, you can substitute their name for another name, or ask them for their direct permission.

Personal Statement Example #13: First Impressions

It had a nice ring to it, but I wasn’t a fan. Unfortunately, that’s what I imagined everyone saw first, and first impressions stick.

A caveat of my surgery was that the hair would grow, then one-third would fall off. My scar will never be completely gone, but I no longer feel defined by it like I did in elementary school.

An effective hook doesn't need to be complicated. Often, the best hooks are simple, declarative sentences. By using a short sentence, you'll immediately draw the reader into your essay and create a point of emphasis. In general, avoid long and meandering sentences to start your essay, and save those for later in your essay. Clear and succinct phrasing is often the hallmark of a strong hook.

To convey your ideas more strongly, show them using concrete examples. In this essay, the author does a great job of that by not saying "classmates only saw me for my scar," but instead showing that idea through the memorable image of "I learned about my classmates through their lunchbox covers...they saw me as the boy with the scar." Using tangible imagery makes for a compelling way of expressing your ideas, as it allows the reader to come to the conclusions you want them to, without just "telling" them.

Avoid exaggerating or "fluffing up" experiences in your essays. Instead, be realistic and tell them for what they are. This essay does that perfectly by using phrases like "I didn't have a sudden epiphany about my scar." Avoid using phrases like "suddenly, I..." which are often overused and unrealistic. Most new understandings aren't acquired in one moment in particular, but are developed over time.

This essay touches on some compelling ideas, such as how people can distill down other people into their physical attributes or ailments. However, it would be even stronger to delve deeper into these reflections by asking further questions: Why do we gravitate towards "categorizing" people based on surface-level attributes? What is the impact of only be acknowledged for surface-level characteristics by others, but knowing that you have much more depth to your character? This essay has some meaningful ideas, but other ideas such as "I can be whatever I want to be" feel surface-level and somewhat generic.

Personal Statement Example #14: Law Career

One great way to have interesting ideas is to show things that you find fascinating that other people may find boring. This essay describes how a judge mandating "reprimands for speeding tickets might be dull for some," but how they find it interesting. Everything, even the seemingly mundane, has interesting aspects if you're willing to look closely enough. When brainstorming, ask yourself: what do I find fascinating that others find boring? What do I think is "fun" while others may think it is "hard" or boring? By following these threads, you can often find unique and compelling ideas that allow you to bring the reader into your world and show them how you see the world uniquely.

A common trap when writing a personal statement is to use a descriptive, fiction-like story to start your essay. Although this may sound like a good idea, it is often ineffective because it buries what is most interesting (your ideas and reflections) and can easily be long and drawn out. Short, concise stories with a focus can be effective introductions, but in general avoid overly descriptive storytelling to start your essay. Also, avoid describing things that aren't critical to your main point. There is little to no benefit in describing things like "I smoothed my skirt and rose slowly from the chair." Focus on why your stories matter, rather than telling stories in a descriptive manner.

This essay does have some reflections, particularly about how the author discovered their passion for law by joining the Youth Court. However, most of these ideas end there, and there aren't any deep, unique ideas. The closest the author comes to having a unique and compelling idea is the final sentence where they write "the value of prioritizing the common good above individual success." This could be a fascinating topic to explore, but ultimately is cut short because it is tagged onto the ending. Your focus when brainstorming and drafting should be to have specific and original ideas—ideas that are not generic, not cliché, and not surface-level. To get to those ideas, ask yourself probing questions like "Why" and "How" over and over.

Personal Statement Example #15: Growing Up Asian

Personal statement example #16: secrets of riddles.

Common App Prompt #6: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? (250-650 words)

As I was going to St. Ives, Upon the road I met seven wives; Every wife had seven sacks, Every sack had seven cats: Cats, sacks, and wives, How many were going to St. Ives?

The riddles of life were not as straightforward as the puzzles in my books and websites. In fact, they were not straightforward at all, like winding mazes of philosophical quandary.

One of the most thought-provoking subjects that preoccupies my mind regards the existence of aliens. Initially, my mind was settled on the possibility of intelligent life. A universe so big could not possibly be lifeless.

As for the solution to the riddle at the start:

How many were going to St. Ives?

This essay does well by having a unique central topic—riddles—which allows the author to draw out interesting ideas related to this theme. Your topic doesn't necessarily need to be profound or hugely significant, because this author shows how you can take a seemingly unimportant topic and use it to make meaningful connections. In this essay, riddles grow to represent something greater than the activity itself, which is something you can do with almost any topic.

One of the most effective ways to "show, not tell" is to use specific and tangible examples. This essay does a great job of exemplifying their ideas. Rather than just saying "I enthralled my friends with questions," the author also shows this: "Over peanut butter and sliced ham, I assumed the role of story teller..." Examples are always more convincing because they are proof, and allow the reader to interpret for themselves. Don't tell the reader what you want them to think. Instead, set up moments that guide the reader to come to those conclusions themselves.

This conclusion connects back to the beginning, which is generally a good idea as it creates a cohesive structure. However, this ending doesn't quite make sense in the context of the riddle. Rather than creating new meaning, it comes off as arbitrary and contrived. Make sure your conclusion isn't creative just for creative-sake, and instead also has significant meaning attached to it.

Personal Statement Example #17: Rubik's Cube

Personal statement example #18: narrative diversity.

If your cultural background or identity is an important part of who you are, then writing about it can make for a compelling essay. Often times in college admissions, Asian-Americans in particular are advised to "hide" their ethnic background, because it can be perceived to hurt their application. This student embraces their Asian heritage by recognizing ways in which they faced societal barriers. As this essay shows, regardless of your identity, there are unique aspects you can delve into that can make for compelling topics.

This essay does a great job of reflecting upon previously held beliefs, such as "I unconsciously succumbed to the 'reserve and quiet' Asian stereotype," and challenging them. Questioning your beliefs and where they came from can often be a good starting point for interesting reflection. Showing your new perspectives over time also conveys self-growth. Ask yourself: what did I once believe (in regards to myself, an activity, other people, etc.), what do I believe now, and how has this changed?

Rather than starting off with an activity and then reflecting upon it, this student takes a different approach. By introducing an interesting idea (the representation of underrepresented groups in media) and then later connecting to their activities, it makes the incorporation of those extracurriculars seem more appropriate and natural. The last thing you want to do is list your activities plainly, but it's still important to reference them. One strategy to naturally talk about your activities and accomplishments is to attach them to interesting ideas, as this essay shows.

Personal Statement Example #19: Search for Dreams

Common App Prompt #7: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. (250-650 words)

The diamond leaves of gnarled oak trees throw spectrums of color onto mounds of frosty snow that gleam melancholily under the moonlight. The leaves chime as wind violently rustles them in a haunting melody. I splinter a leaf off its branch and inspect the shard of my illusion, eyes dancing with amusement.

As I dwell in my worries, a cold hand reaches from behind me and taps my shoulder.

I jerk away, fear bubbling in my amygdala as I look into the nonexistent eyes of my intruding visitor.

The moon illuminates a blob of pink squish as it draws back slowly, points its spindly hands towards my drink and asks: “Could I have some of that?”

The blob wipes its invisible mouth with its nonexistent sleeve. I ask: “What are you?”

The blob tells me to stop looking at it so suspiciously. “I can prove it,” It says. I tell it, please, go ahead.

Suddenly we are back in the glowing forest. “Diamonds? Pah!” The blob dismisses them. Instantly, the leaves turn solid gold, the snow melts, and the wintry world is thrown into a blistering summer.

The blob laughs heartlessly. “Your cortex is under my control,” it says smugly.

“I heard you had a question for me?” It taps its invisible ears knowingly.

The blob wriggles its invisible brows as it waits.

It smiles that wicked smile. It laughs that sinful laugh. Then that insufferable blob wakes me up.

As I sit up in the dark and rub my bleary eyes, I am vaguely aware of the deep­set unfulfillment settling itself inside me. I yawn and plop back into bed, the soft red glow of my alarm clock indicating that it is still before midnight.

One thing is for sure about this essay: it has a unique idea that has surely not been written before. Regardless of your topic, you want your essay to be unique in some way, even if it isn't as fantastical as this essay. You can use a unique structure, such as having central symbolism, metaphor, or being structured as a recipe, for example. But this can easily become "gimmicky" if it doesn't have a clear purpose. In general, the most effective way to have a unique essay is to focus on having deep and unique ideas and reflections. By focusing on interesting takeaways and connections that are ultra-specific to you and your experiences, your essay will standout regardless of the structure.

This essay uses a lot of fiction-like writing that is fantastical and "flowery." Although moments of this kind of writing can make your essay more vivid, it is quite easy to end up with dense storytelling and descriptions that ultimately don't share anything interesting about you. The purpose of your essay is ultimately to learn about you: your values, your ideas, your identity, etc. By using dense story-like writing, it can be easy to lose focus of what admissions officers are looking for. In general, avoid writing "fancy" stories like this essay, unless you have a clear and distinct purpose for doing so. Everything in your essay should have a purpose in "going somewhere" (i.e. reaching interesting ideas and takeaways).

This essay is definitely creative, but lacks meaningful takeaways and ideas. By the end of the essay, we don't know much about the author besides the fact that they have an affinity for creative writing and are "on a search." Although the content is unique, the end result comes off as quite generic and surface-level because no interesting thoughts are explored deeply. The most interesting part of this essay is "I open my mouth and ask it my most crucial question," but this is super unsatisfying because the question is never divulged. Instead, the reader is teased by this fantasy story and the essay goes nowhere meaningful, which comes off as gimmicky and "creative for creative's sake," rather than deeply personal and interesting.

This essay ends on the idea of "continuing my search," but for what exactly? It is never explained, elaborated, or even implied (besides one reference to painting earlier). That makes this conclusion comes off as somewhat surface-level and uninteresting. Admissions officers won't care about "your search" unless they have a reason to care. That is, unless it tells something specific about you. On it's own, this idea of "exploring" and "searching" is meaningless because it is too broad and unelaborated.

Personal Statement Example #20: Recipe for Success

Step 1: Collect the ingredients

Step 2: Marinate the meat

Step 3: Wrap the dumplings

Step 4: Boil or pan-fry?

Step 5: Share and enjoy!

This essay has a clearly unique format in that it is structured as a dumpling recipe. By walking the reader through each step of dumpling-making, the student is able to explore various ideas and use the dumpling process as a metaphor for their own self-discovery. Having a creative structure like this can be beneficial, so long as you also have compelling ideas and the structure isn't unique just for the sake of being unique.

This whole essay is one big metaphor: the student compares their self-growth to the process of making dumplings. In doing so, the student introduces their heritage, while also having a creative literary device that they can use to explore various topics. By having a "central theme" such as this essay does, it makes it easier to explore a variety of ideas and activities, without seeming like you're listing them.

Struggles are one of the most defining aspects of self-development, and admissions officers are interested to see how you have overcome challenges. These difficulties don't need to be extreme tragedies or insurmountable obstacles, but everyone has faced difficulties. By reflecting upon those difficulties, you can draw out interesting ideas, showcase vulnerability, and express your personality.

What You Can Learn From These Personal Statement Examples

With these 20 Personal Statement examples, you can get inspired and improve your own essays. If you want to get accepted into selective colleges this year, your essays need to make you stand out.

These 20 examples show how real students got into highly selective schools and teach us several lessons for writing your own successful Personal Statement essay:

• Write a compelling first sentence that grabs the reader
• Be specific and reference things by name
• Tell a meaningful story
• Reflect on your life and identity. Be self-aware.

If you enjoyed these personal statement examples, check out some of our top Common App Essays , which are also personal statements essays, but for the Common Application.

Which of these personal statement examples was your favorite?

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

How to make the most of your hobbies in your personal statement

I distinctly remember how daunting the task of summarising 17 years of hobbies, interests and skills into one piece of A4 was.

Personal statements are not easy, but the best tip I could give you about writing one, would be to start off listing all your achievements, hobbies, employment, work experience, skills.

Your hobbies are an important factor of your personal statement. But don’t let that make you feel you have to be a sporting champion or a creative genius to talk about them.

Here are some great rules to follow when writing your personal statement – follow these and you shouldn’t go far wrong!

• Use the ABC (activity, benefit, course) rule when writing your personal statement.
• Keep everything positive!
• Shout about your achievements and skills – don’t be shy
• Don’t let spelling and grammar mistakes hold you back.
• Find someone you trust to give you feedback.

Here is a small insight into how I used my hobbies within my personal statement:

Hobby One: Rugby Union

Sport is a great method of demonstrating valuable skills: teamwork, commitment, leadership. I juggled Premiership Rugby during Year 13; balancing academic work and a sporting career was a skill I perfected right through my degree. I had a real passion for sport, and this was central to my desire to study sports therapy.

Hobby Two: Part-Time Waitress

Part-time employment, even if it is totally unrelated to your course, can be a great example of motivation, efficiency and time-management. I was a waitress before I came to university, at a local pub. The extra cash I saved was ideal during fresher’s week, but specifically, I had to politely and professionally communicate with a variety of characters. This has helped me greatly in my Sports Therapy degree!

Hobby Three: Volunteer Rugby Coach

Volunteering shows your willingness to go above and beyond what might be expected of you. Personally, volunteering to coach children was a great skill to apply to my course; managing and first aiding children was something I covered during my degree. On a personal note, I really enjoyed being a role model to the young players, even if I did cringe massively when one asked for an autograph!

Hobby Four: Work Experience at a Sports Therapy Clinic

Relevant work experience to your course is a great asset to your personal statement. It demonstrates motivation and passion to study the course, and importantly, confirms your desire to study the course in more depth. Some courses, such as nursing or teaching , require recent work experience, so this might be worth checking as soon as possible with your course. Unusually, at the age of 16 following my year 10 work experience, I knew I wanted to be a sports therapist. I continued to work part time at a local clinic, which was an invaluable experience to me both academically and personally.

Hobby Five: Working on my family’s Dairy Farm

Many students believe there is a golden ticket that will be their pass into University. Thankfully that is not the case. Sharing an insight into your personality and background is something that can be subtly written into your personal statement. From my farming background, I could demonstrate other passions and interests aside from my academic or sporting achievements.

Your personal statement is your opportunity to talk directly to the admissions tutor – make it fun, positive and share an insight into your life! If you have any further questions, get to a Personal Statement clinic on a University Open Day , where someone can read through your personal statement.

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How to Write an Amazing Personal Statement (Includes Examples!)

Lisa Freedland is a Scholarships360 writer with personal experience in psychological research and content writing. She has written content for an online fact-checking organization and has conducted research at the University of Southern California as well as the University of California, Irvine. Lisa graduated from the University of Southern California in Fall 2021 with a degree in Psychology.

Learn about our editorial policies

Zach Skillings is the Scholarships360 Newsletter Editor. He specializes in college admissions and strives to answer important questions about higher education. When he’s not contributing to Scholarships360, Zach writes about travel, music, film, and culture. His work has been published in Our State Magazine, Ladygunn Magazine, The Nocturnal Times, and The Lexington Dispatch. Zach graduated from Elon University with a degree in Cinema and Television Arts.

Bill Jack has over a decade of experience in college admissions and financial aid. Since 2008, he has worked at Colby College, Wesleyan University, University of Maine at Farmington, and Bates College.

Maria Geiger is Director of Content at Scholarships360. She is a former online educational technology instructor and adjunct writing instructor. In addition to education reform, Maria’s interests include viewpoint diversity, blended/flipped learning, digital communication, and integrating media/web tools into the curriculum to better facilitate student engagement. Maria earned both a B.A. and an M.A. in English Literature from Monmouth University, an M. Ed. in Education from Monmouth University, and a Virtual Online Teaching Certificate (VOLT) from the University of Pennsylvania.

The personal statement. It’s one of the most important parts of the entire college application process. This essay is the perfect opportunity to show admissions officers who you are and what makes you stand out from the crowd. But writing a good personal statement isn’t exactly easy. That’s why we’ve put together the ultimate guide on how to nail your personal statement, complete with example essays . Each essay was reviewed and commented upon by admissions expert Bill Jack. Let’s dive in!

Related: How to write an essay about yourself  

What is a personal statement? 

A personal statement is a special type of essay that’s required when you’re applying to colleges and scholarship programs. In this essay, you’re expected to share something about who you are and what you bring to the table. Think of it as a chance to reveal a side of yourself not found in the rest of your application. Personal statements are typically around 400 – 600 words in length. 

What can I write about? 

Pretty much anything, as long as it’s about you . While this is liberating in the sense that your writing options are nearly unlimited, it’s also overwhelming for the same reason. The good news is that you’ll probably be responding to a specific prompt. Chances are you’re applying to a school that uses the Common App , which means you’ll have seven prompts to choose from . Reviewing these prompts can help generate some ideas, but so can asking yourself meaningful questions. 

Below you’ll find a list of questions to ask yourself during the brainstorming process. For each of the following questions, spend a few minutes jotting down whatever comes to mind. 

• What experiences have shaped who you are? 
• What’s special or unique about you or your life story? 
• Who or what has inspired you the most? 
• What accomplishments are you most proud of? 
• What are your goals for the future? How have you arrived at those goals? 
• If your life was a movie, what would be the most interesting scene? 
• What have been some of the biggest challenges in your life? How did you respond and what did you learn? 

The purpose of these questions is to prompt you to think about your life at a deeper level. Hopefully by reflecting on them, you’ll find an essay topic that is impactful and meaningful. In the next section, we’ll offer some advice on actually writing your essay. 

Also see:  How to write a 500 word essay

How do I write my personal statement? 

Once you’ve found a topic, it’s time to start writing! Every personal statement is different, so there’s not really one formula that works for every student. That being said, the following tips should get you started in the right direction:  

1. Freewrite, then rewrite 

The blank page tends to get more intimidating the longer you stare at it, so it’s best to go ahead and jump right in! Don’t worry about making the first draft absolutely perfect. Instead, just get your ideas on the page and don’t spend too much time thinking about the finer details. Think of this initial writing session as a “brain dump”. Take 15-30 minutes to quickly empty all your thoughts onto the page without worrying about things like grammar, spelling, or sentence structure. You can even use bullet points if that helps. Once you have your ideas on the page, then you can go back and shape them exactly how you want. 

2. Establish your theme 

Now that you’ve got some basic ideas down on the page, it’s time to lock in on a theme. Your theme is a specific angle that reflects the central message of your essay. It can be summarized in a sentence or even a word. For example, let’s say you’re writing about how you had to establish a whole new group of friends when you moved to a new city. The theme for this type of essay would probably be something like “adaptation”. Having a theme will help you stay focused throughout your essay. Since you only have a limited number of words, you can’t afford to go off on tangents that don’t relate to your theme. 

3. Tell a story

A lot of great essays rely on a specific scene or story. Find the personal anecdote relevant to your theme and transfer it to the page. The best way to do this is by using descriptive language. Consult the five senses as you’re setting the scene. What did you see, hear, taste, touch, or smell? How were you feeling emotionally? Using descriptive language can really help your essay come to life. According to UPchieve , a nonprofit that supports low income students, focusing on a particular moment as a “ revised version of a memoir ” is one way to keep readers engaged. 

Related: College essay primer: show, don’t tell  

4. Focus on your opening paragraph

Your opening paragraph should grab your reader’s attention and set the tone for the rest of your essay. In most cases, this is the best place to include your anecdote (if you have one). By leading with your personal story, you can hook your audience from the get-go. After telling your story, you can explain why it’s important to who you are. 

Related:  How to start a scholarship essay (with examples)

5. Use an authentic voice 

Your personal statement reflects who you are, so you should use a tone that represents you. That means you shouldn’t try to sound like someone else, and you shouldn’t use fancy words just to show off. This isn’t an academic paper, so you don’t have to adopt a super formal tone. Instead, write in a way that allows room for your personality to breathe. 

6. Edit, edit, edit…

Once you’re done writing, give yourself some time away from the essay. Try to allow a few days to pass before looking at the essay again with fresh eyes. This way, you’re more likely to pick up on spelling and grammatical errors. You may even get some new ideas and rethink the way you wrote some things. Once you’re satisfied, let someone else edit your essay. We recommend asking a teacher, parent, or sibling for their thoughts before submitting. 

Examples of personal statements 

Sometimes viewing someone else’s work is the best way to generate inspiration and get the creative juices flowing. The following essays are written in response to four different Common App prompts: 

Prompt 1: “Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.”

When I was eight years old, I wanted a GameCube very badly. For weeks I hounded my dad to buy me one and finally he agreed. But there was a catch. He’d only get me a GameCube if I promised to start reading. Every day I played video games, I would have to pick up a book and read for at least one hour. At that point in my life, reading was just something I had to suffer through for school assignments. To read for pleasure seemed ludicrous. Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly thrilled about this proposed agreement. But I figured anything was worth it to get my hands on that shiny new video game console, so I bit the bullet and shook my dad’s hand. Little did I know that I had just made a life-changing deal. 

At first, the required hour of reading was a chore — something I had to do so I could play Mario Kart. But it quickly turned into something more than that. To my complete and utter surprise, I discovered that I actually enjoyed reading. One hour turned into two, two turned into three, and after a while I was spending more time reading than I was playing video games. I found myself captivated by the written word, and I read everything I could get my hands on. Lord of the Rings , Percy Jackson , Goosebumps — you name it. I was falling in love with literature, while my GameCube was accumulating dust in the TV stand. 

Soon enough, reading led to writing. I was beginning to come up with my own stories, so I put pen to paper and let my imagination run wild. It started out small. My first effort was a rudimentary picture book about a friendly raccoon who went to the moon. But things progressed. My stories became more intricate, my characters more complex. I wrote a series of science fiction novellas. I tried my hand at poetry. I was amazed at the worlds I could create with the tip of my pen. I had dreams of becoming an author. 

Then somewhere along the way my family got a subscription to Netflix, and that completely changed the way I thought about storytelling. My nose had been buried in books up until then, so I hadn’t really seen a lot of movies. That quickly changed. It seemed like every other day a pair of new DVDs would arrive in the mail (this was the early days of Netflix). Dark Knight, The Truman Show, Inception, Memento — all these great films were coming in and out of the house. And I couldn’t get enough of them. Movies brought stories to life in a way that books could not. I was head over heels for visual storytelling. 

Suddenly I wasn’t writing novels and short stories anymore. I was writing scripts for movies. Now I wanted to transfer my ideas to the big screen, rather than the pages of a book. But I was still doing the same thing I had always done. I was writing, just in a different format. To help with this process, I read the screenplays of my favorite films and paid attention to the way they were crafted. I kept watching more and more movies. And I hadn’t forgotten about my first love, either. I still cherished books and looked to them for inspiration. By the end of my junior year of high school, I had completed two scripts for short films. 

So why am I telling you all this? Because I want to turn my love of storytelling into a career. I’m not totally sure how to do that yet, but I know I have options. Whether it’s film production, creative writing, or even journalism, I want to find a major that suits my ambitions. Writing has taken me a long way, and I know it can take me even further. As I step into this next chapter of my life, I couldn’t be more excited to see how my craft develops. In the meantime, I should probably get rid of that dusty old GameCube. 

Feedback from admissions professional Bill Jack

Essays don’t always have to reveal details about the student’s intended career path, but one thing I like about this essay is that it gives the reader a sense of the why. Why do they want to pursue storytelling. It also shows the reader that they are open to how they pursue their interest. Being open to exploration is such a vital part of college, so it’s also showing the reader that they likely will be open to new things in college. And, it’s always fun to learn a little bit more about the student’s family, especially if the reader can learn about how the students interacts with their family. 

Prompt 2: “The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?”

I remember my first impression of Irvine: weird. It was foggy, stock-full of greenery and eucalyptus trees, and reminded me of my 5th grade trip to a “science camp” which was located in the San Bernardino mountains. Besides Irvine, that was one of the few places in Southern California where you’d find so many non-palm trees. 

Of course, perhaps my initial impression of Irvine was biased, motivated by a desire to stay in my hometown and a fear of the unknown. While that was true to an extent, Irvine was certainly still a little peculiar. The city itself was based on a “master plan” of sorts, with the location of each of its schools, parks, shops, and arguably its trees having been logically “picked” before the foundation was poured. Even the homes all looked roughly the same, with their beige, stucco walls almost serving as a hallmark of the city itself.

Thus, this perfectly structured, perfectly safe city seemed like a paradise of sorts to many outsiders, my parents included. I was a little more hesitant to welcome this. As I saw it, this was a phony city – believing that its uniformity stood for a lack of personality. My hometown, although not as flawlessly safe nor clean as Irvine, was where most of my dearest memories had occurred. From the many sleepovers at Cindie’s house, to trying to avoid my school’s own version of the “infamous” cheese touch, to the many laughs shared with friends and family, I shed a tear at the prospect of leaving my home.

Moving into the foreign city, remnants of the hostility I held towards Irvine remained. Still dwelling in my memories of the past, I was initially unable to see Irvine as a “home.” So, as I walked into my first-ever Irvine class, being greeted by many kind, yet unfamiliar faces around me, I was unable to recognize that some of those new faces would later become some of my dearest friends. Such negative feelings about the city were further reinforced by newer, harder classes, and more complicated homework. Sitting in the discomfort of this unfamiliar environment, it started to seem that “change” was something not only inevitable, but insurmountable.

As the years went on, however, this idea seemed to fade. I got used to my classes and bike racing through Irvine neighborhoods with my friends, watching the trees that once seemed just a “weird” green blob soon transform into one of my favorite parts of the city. While I kept my old, beloved memories stored, I made space for new ones. From carefully making our way over the narrow creek path next to our school, to the laughs we shared during chemistry class, my new memories made with friends seemed to transform a city I once disliked into one I would miss. 

Through this transformation, I have come to recognize that change, although sometimes intimidating at first, can open the door to great times and meaningful connections. Although Irvine may have once seemed like a strange, “phony” place that I couldn’t wait to be rid of, the memories and laughs I had grown to share there were very real. As I move onto this next part of my life, I hope I can use this knowledge that I have gained from my time in Irvine to make the most of what’s to come. Even if the change may be frightening at first, I have learned to embrace what’s on the other side, whether green or not.

One huge plus to writing an essay that focuses on a place is that you might have it read by someone who has been there. Yet, what’s really helpful about this essay is that even if someone hasn’t been there, a picture is painted about what the place is like.  Admission officers have the hard task of really understanding what the student sees, so the use of adjectives and imagery can really help.  It’s also really clever to see that the green that’s mentioned at the beginning is mentioned at the end.  It’s a nice way to bookend the essay and tie it all together.

Prompt 6: “Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?”

I like getting lost. Not literally, of course, but figuratively. Whether it be in the story of a love song by Taylor Swift, or in the memories brought back by listening to my favorite childhood video game’s background music, I’ve always appreciated music’s ability to transport me to another place, another time, another feeling. 

Alas, I cannot sing, nor have I practiced an instrument since my middle school piano class days. So, perhaps Kurt Vonnegut was right. As he puts it, “Virtually every writer I know would rather be a musician.” While I cannot speak for others, I have certainly not debunked his theory. Writing allows many, including myself, to attempt to mimic the transformative power of music – even if our singing voices aren’t exactly “pleasant.” Just as you can get lost in music, you can do so in a story. Whether it is in George Orwell’s totalitarian Oceania, or Little Women’s Orchard House, the stories outlined in novels can provide an amazing look into the lives and worlds of others, and an escape from the worries and problems of those in your own.

While I am certainly not claiming to have the storytelling abilities of the Orwells or Alcotts before me, I’ve had fun trying to recreate such transformative feelings for others. When I was nine, I attempted to write a story about a little girl who had gotten lost in the woods, only managing to get a couple pages through. As I got older, whenever I was assigned a creative writing assignment in school, I wrote about the same pig, Phil. He was always angry: in my 8th grade science class, Phil was mad at some humans who had harbored his friend captive, and in my 9th grade English class, at a couple who robbed him. 

Thus, when I heard about a writing club being opened at my school in 11th grade, I knew I had to join. I wanted to discern whether writing was just a hobby I picked up now and then, or a true passion. If it was a passion, I wanted to learn as much as possible about how I could improve. Although my high school’s writing club certainly wasn’t going to transform me into Shakespeare, I knew I could learn a lot from it – and I did. The club challenged me to do many things, from writing on the spot, to writing poetry, to even writing about myself, something that’s hopefully coming in handy right now. 

From then on, I started to expand into different types of writing, storing short ideas, skits, and more in appropriately-labeled Google Drive folders. At around the same time, I became interested in classic literature, which largely stemmed from a project in English class. We had been required to choose and read a classic on our own, then present it to the class in an interesting way. While my book was certainly interesting and unique in its own right, nearly everyone else’s novels seemed more captivating to me. So, I took it upon myself to read as many classics as I could the following summer.

One of the books I read during the summer, funnily enough, was Animal Farm, which starred angry pigs, reminiscent of Phil. I had also started going over different ideas in my head, thinking about how I could translate them into words using the new skills I learned. While the writing club helped reaffirm my interest in writing and allowed me to develop new skills, my newfound affinity for classics gave me inspiration to write. Now, I am actually considering writing as part of my future. In this endeavor, I hope that Phil, and the music I inevitably listen to as I write, will accompany me every step of the way.

Admission officers might read 70 (or more!) essays in one day. It’s not uncommon for them to start to blend together and sound similar. This essay might not make you laugh out loud. But, it might make the reader chuckle while reading it thanks to the subtle humor and levity. Being able to incorporate a little humor into your essay (if it is natural for you to do… do not force it), can really be a great way to shed additional light into who you are. Remember, the essay isn’t merely about proving that you can write, but it should also reveal a little bit about your personality.

Prompt 5: “Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.”

I learned a lot of things during the summer I worked at Tropical Smoothie. I discovered the value of hard work. I figured out how to save money. I even mastered the art of the Mango Magic smoothie (the secret is lots of sugar). But most importantly, I learned the power of perspective. And I have Deja to thank for that. 

Deja was my shift supervisor, and one of Tropical Smoothie’s best employees. She was punctual, friendly, and always willing to lend a helping hand. She knew the store from top to bottom, and could handle pretty much any situation thrown her way. She made everyone around her better. On top of all that, she was four months pregnant! I was always impressed by Deja’s work ethic, but I gained an entirely new level of respect for her one day.

It was a Friday night, and Deja and I were working the closing shift together. It was very busy, and Deja and I were the only ones on shift. We managed to get by, but we were exhausted by the end of the evening. After wiping down the counters and mopping the floors, we closed up shop and went our separate ways. I was eager to get home. 

I walked a couple blocks to where I had parked my car. Well, it wasn’t my car actually. It was my dad’s ‘98 Chevy pickup truck, and it was in rough shape. It had no heat or A/C, the leather seats were cracked beyond repair, and the driver’s side door was jammed shut. I sighed as I got in through the passenger side and scooted over to the driver’s seat. The whole reason I was working at Tropical Smoothie was to save up enough money to buy my own car. I was hoping to have something more respectable to drive during my senior year of high school. 

I cranked the old thing up and started on my way home. But soon enough, I spotted Deja walking on the side of the road. There was no sidewalk here, the light was low, and she was dangerously close to the passing cars. I pulled over and offered her a ride. She got in and explained that she was on her way home. Apparently she didn’t have a car and had been walking to work every day. I couldn’t believe it. Here I was complaining about my set of wheels, while Deja didn’t have any to begin with.

We got to talking, and she confessed that she had been having a tough time. You would never know from the way she was so cheerful at work, but Deja had a lot on her plate. She was taking care of her mother, her boyfriend had just lost his job, and she was worried about making ends meet. And of course, she was expecting a baby in five months. On top of all that, she had been walking nearly a mile to and from work every day. The whole thing was a real eye opener, and made me reconsider some things in my own life. 

For one, I didn’t mind driving my dad’s truck anymore. It was banged up, sure, but it was a lot better than nothing. My mindset had changed. I appreciated the truck now. I began to think about other things differently, too. I started making mental notes of all the things in my life I was thankful for — my family, my friends, my health. I became grateful for what I had, instead of obsessing over the things I didn’t. 

I also gained more awareness of the world outside my own little bubble. My encounter with Deja had shown me first-hand that everyone is dealing with their own problems, some worse than others. So I started paying more attention to my friends, family members, and coworkers. I started listening more and asking how I could help. I also gave Deja a ride home for the rest of the summer. 

These are all small things, of course, but I think they make a difference. I realized I’m at my best when I’m not fixated on my own life, but when I’m considerate of the lives around me. I want to keep this in mind as I continue to grow and develop as a person. I want to continue to search for ways to support the people around me. And most importantly, I want to keep things in perspective.

Too often we can be focused on our own problems that we fail to realize that everyone has their own things going on in their lives, too.  This essay showcases how it’s important to put things in perspective, a skill that certainly will prove invaluable in college… and not just in the classroom.  Another reason I like this essay is because it provides deeper insight into the student’s life.  Sure, you might have mentioned in your activities list that you have a job.  But as this essay does, you can show why you have the job in the first place, what your responsibilities are, and more.

A few last tips

We hope these essay examples gave you a bit of inspiration of what to include in your own. However, before you go, we’d like to send you off with a few (personal statement) writing tips to help you make your essays as lovely as the memories and anecdotes they’re based off of. Without further ado, here are some of our best tips for writing your personal statements:

1. Open strong

College admissions officers read many, many essays (think 50+) a day, which can sometimes cause them to start blending together and sounding alike. One way to avoid your essay from simply fading into the background is to start strong. This means opening your essay with something memorable, whether an interesting personal anecdote, a descriptive setting, or anything else that you think would catch a reader’s attention (so long as it’s not inappropriate). Not only might this help college admissions officers better remember your essay, but it will also make them curious about what the rest of your essay will entail.

2. Be authentic

Perhaps most important when it comes to writing personal statement essays is to maintain your authenticity. Ultimately, your essays should reflect your unique stories and quirks that make you who you are, and should help college admissions officers determine whether you’d truly be a good fit for their school or not. So, don’t stress trying to figure out what colleges are looking for. Be yourself, and let the colleges come to you!

3. Strong writing

This one may seem a little obvious, but strong writing will certainly appeal to colleges. Not only will it make your essay more compelling, but it may show colleges that you’re ready for college-level essay writing (that you’ll likely have to do a lot of). Just remember that good writing is not limited to grammar. Using captivating detail and descriptions are a huge part of making your essay seem more like a story than a lecture.

4. Proofread

Last but not least, remember to proofread! Make sure your essay contains no errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. When you’re done proofreading your essay yourself, we would also recommend that you ask a teacher, parent, or other grammatically savvy person to proofread your essay as well.

Final thoughts 

With those in hand, we hope you now have a better sense of how to write your personal statement. While your grades and test scores are important when it comes to college admissions, it’s really your essays that can “make” or “break” your application. 

Although this may make it seem like a daunting task, writing an amazing personal statement essay is all about effort. Thus, so long as you start early, follow the advice listed above, and dedicate your time and effort to it, it’s entirely possible to write an essay that perfectly encapsulates you. Good luck, and happy writing!

Also see:  Scholarships360’s free scholarships search tool

Key Takeaways

• It may take some people longer than others to know what they want to write about, but remember that everyone, including you, has something unique to write about!
• Personal statements should be personal, which means you should avoid being too general and really strive to show off what makes you “you”
• Time and effort are two of the most important things you can put into your personal statement to ensure that it is the best representation of yourself
• Don’t forget to ask people who know you to read your work before you submit; they should be able to tell you better than anyone if you are truly shining through!

Frequently asked questions about writing personal statements 

How do you write a powerful personal statement, what makes an amazing personal statement, how do you start an amazing personal statement, scholarships360 recommended.

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40+ Hobbies & Interests to Put on a Resume [Updated for 2024]

“Hobbies and interests have no place on the resume.”

Done right, hobbies on a resume can help you stand out from other candidates, show a bit of your personality to the hiring manager, and potentially even get you the job!

That said, not every resume needs hobbies and interests, and at the same time, not every hobby belongs on a resume.

In this article, we’ll teach you everything you need to know about hobbies on a resume, including when to list them, how to pick the right ones to mention, and more!

Here’s what we’re going to cover:

• Should You Mention Hobbies and Interests on Your Resume?
• 12 Best Hobbies and Interests to Put On Your Resume

How to List Hobbies and Interests on a Resume

4 tips to keep in mind when listing hobbies and interests, 40 best hobbies and interests to put on your resume [complete list].

Let’s dive in!

Should You Mention Hobbies & Interests on Your Resume?

There’s no straight-up answer to this question as it depends on several factors.

For example, if you’re a professional with many years of experience in your field, you could probably do without a hobbies and interests section on your resume. 

As a seasoned professional, you probably have tons of skills, work experience , and certifications to fill your resume with and set yourself apart from the competition. 

If adding a “hobbies and interests” section will make your resume spill over to page two , then you should definitely leave it out. 

On the other hand, if you’re a recent graduate with little work experience, adding your hobbies and interests to your resume can help you stand out as a candidate, as well as help fill up your resume to take up an entire page.

But enough with the hypotheticals! Let us tell you exactly when to mention hobbies and interests on your resume and how they can benefit your job application.

What’s the Difference Between Hobbies and Interests?

First things first - what are hobbies and interests? 

These two terms are often used interchangeably, but they’re not exactly the same thing:

• Interests are topics, ideas, or subjects that interest you, fascinate you, and you want to learn more about. Culinary art, history, and classical music are all examples of various interests.
• Hobbies are activities you actually engage in. Some examples of hobbies may include cooking, playing basketball, or visiting museums.

Hobbies show the hiring manager how you spend your free time and what kind of additional skills you may possess. For example, if you include “basketball” as your hobby, you’re also telling the hiring manager that you have great teamwork skills. 

Interests , on the other hand, indicate what topics and ideas you’re currently interested in or you’d like to explore in the future. If, for example, you’re applying for a job that requires relocation and you list traveling as your interest, you may seem like a more relevant candidate because you enjoy traveling to new places. 

So, as you can see, hobbies and interests can add value to your resume if they’re relevant to the job and if they point to soft skills the company may be looking for. 

Which leads us to the million-dollar question: when exactly should you include hobbies and interests on your resume? 

When to Include Hobbies and Interests on Your Resume

You should include hobbies and interests on your resume when:

• You still have space after including all the essential resume sections (contact information, work experience, education, and skills).
• You have limited work experience, education, and skills related to the position you are applying for.
• The company puts emphasis on its employees’ personalities and unique traits.
• The company specifically asks to list additional hobbies and interests.
• Your hobbies and interests show that you’re good at your job. E.g. if you’re applying for a writing role, having Dungeons & Dragons as an interest might help (as it shows that you’re creative).

New to resume-making? Give our resumes 101 video a watch before diving into the article!

12 Top Hobbies and Interests to Put On Your Resume

So here’s the takeaway: for hobbies and interests to add value to your resume, they should be somewhat relevant to the job you’re applying for. 

In most cases, though, candidates list pastime activities that say nothing to the hiring manager reading their resume, like watching movies or listening to music. 

To help you avoid such a mistake, we’ve listed some of the best hobbies and interests to put on your resume, based on companies’ most commonly required skills and abilities: 

#1. Community Involvement

Volunteering and community involvement is probably the best hobby/interest you could be adding to your resume, as it’s associated with 27% higher odds of employment . 

In a nutshell, volunteering shows initiative, empathy, and the ability to see beyond your personal interests. On top of this, volunteering teaches organizational skills, teamwork, and leadership. 

#2. Writing

Communication skills - both verbal and written - are some of the most sought-after soft skills by companies . 

As such, having writing as a hobby can effectively show potential employers that your communication skills extend beyond the workplace and are, as such, stronger than other candidates. 

#3. Blogging

Blogging is another hobby that proves you’ve got excellent communication skills, which is essential for most roles.

At the same time, blogging as a hobby also shows that you’re a self-starter that can work on independent projects, which is another very in-demand skill for most roles.

#4. Learning Languages

It’s no secret that speaking foreign languages can improve your chances of getting a job . 

For starters, employers are always on the lookout for candidates who can communicate with people from different nationalities and can be an asset when dealing with international markets.

On top of that, learning languages is associated with improving valuable skills like problem-solving and dealing with abstract concepts, both of which are desirable employee skills. 

Some of the jobs where listing learning languages as a hobby can come in handy include social workers, human resources managers, flight attendants, community health workers, hotel managers, customer service agents, etc. 

#5. Photography

Just like all the other hobbies on this list, photography can represent you in more ways than “this candidate likes to take pictures.”

After all, photography takes creativity, interpersonal skills, and even technical skills ! 

This means that, in addition to all the jobs that require photography skills, there are many other positions out there that could benefit from a candidate who’s into photography. 

Traveling may not seem like the best hobby to include on your resume at first sight. After all, it simply involves picking a destination and being a tourist, right? 

Well, not exactly. 

Someone who loves traveling is also likely to be: 

• Curious to learn new things, experience new cultures, and meet new people
• Well- organized and adaptable to new situations and people
• Not afraid to step out of their comfort zone

All of these personality traits make for an adaptable and flexible employee, something that employers appreciate!

Sports - and any kind of physical activity, really - are known to improve brain health and your ability to do everyday activities . 

Not only, but sports also help you develop self-discipline, teamwork, leadership, and interpersonal skills . 

All of these are essential skills that could help you “adapt” your resume to different kinds of jobs. 

#8. Reading

Reading is one of the best hobbies to put on your resume, regardless of what types of books you like to read.

Reading exercises the brain, improves the ability to focus, increases general knowledge, can sharpen your communication skills, and helps relieve stress . 

#9. Making Music

Making music not only takes creativity, but also a lot of determination, patience, and endurance. Not to mention, studies show that playing an instrument can also improve your memory and focus . 

Showing such qualities can instantly make you more attractive to hiring managers.

Yoga is known to create mental clarity , relieve chronic stress patterns, relax the mind, and sharpen concentration.

And - let’s be honest - who doesn’t want an employee who’s mentally clear, unstressed, and able to concentrate on their work? 

To do any kind of art, you need to be creative, which is among the most popular transferable skills companies are looking for in 2022. 

According to this Adobe study , creativity has gained the most value in driving salary increases in the past five years. That’s also because creativity is also linked to inventiveness, imagination, and problem-solving abilities. 

Dancing is more than just a fun pastime. It improves your cognitive abilities, and collaboration skills (especially if you’re dancing with a partner), and can help you unwind and keep your stress levels low. 

Top Soft and Hard Skills Related to Hobbies and Interests On a Resume

And here’s what the hiring manager is likely to read from including the hobbies and interests listed above to your resume in terms of soft and hard skills: 

Yep, you heard that right.

There IS a right and wrong way to list hobbies and interests on your resume.

In this section, we’ll teach you all you need to know to make your hobbies and interests section as effective as possible!  

#1. Decide whether you need them

The first thing you want to do is decide whether you’d benefit from adding hobbies and interests to your resume. As we already mentioned, hobbies and interests can be a breath of fresh air for your resume, but only in certain circumstances.  

If you’re a professional with many years of work experience under your sleeve, your resume can do without a hobbies and interests section.

You already have a lot of professional achievements , relevant skills, and qualifications to make your resume a full one-pager, while adding a hobbies section would mean removing some other critical section from your resume.

On the other hand , if you’re a student with almost no work experience or skills, or if you’re applying to a startup or to a company that puts more emphasis on company culture, then you could definitely benefit from listing your hobbies and interests. 

The optimal length for a resume is one page.

If including a hobbies and interests section spills your resume over to the second page, that means that you can probably just skip including the section in the first place.

#2. Research the Company

So, you’ve decided it’s a good idea to include your hobbies and interests on your resume. But, which ones do you actually include? 

To make the best possible choice, start by researching the company. See if they have any specific work culture, work retreats, and what qualities would complement your role.

Here’s exactly where you should look: 

• The job ad. Read the job ad and identify the type of skills that they’re looking for.
• The company website and any employee profiles you can find there.
• Their social media accounts . Specifically, their LinkedIn, Facebook, or Twitter. 

#3. Choose the Right Skills

Once you’ve done this, you should think about how specific skills or requirements may transfer to a hobby or interest and tailor yours to the job accordingly. 

You may have dozens of exciting hobbies and interests, but your resume isn’t the right place to list them all. Just to reiterate - you want your hobbies and interests to be as relevant as possible . 

So, for example, if the job ad mentions the company’s looking for someone who’s “outgoing” or a “great team player,” then any kind of sport is a good hobby to list on your resume. 

Meanwhile, anything that involves you sitting alone and being introverted (e.g. reading or knitting) is not very relevant. 

An alternative approach to choosing the right hobbies and interests is to use them to fill your skill gaps.

Let’s say that you’re an entry-level professional and you’re applying for your first job as an illustrator. Chances are, you lack some of the technical skills required for the job, simply due to your lack of professional experience. 

In such a case, choosing a hobby that proves you’ve got an eye for design and aesthetics can help your application. Anything art-related, including photography, painting, drawing, etc., will show the hiring manager that you’re passionate about this line of work. 

#4. Create a Separate Section (and Push It Down) 

By now you should have a clear idea of what hobbies and interests to add to your resume. 

The rest is fairly easy. 

Simply create a separate section titled “Hobbies and Interests,” and place it at the end of your resume . It’s crucial that this section doesn’t overshadow the more important parts of your resume, like your contact information, work experience, education , or even any volunteer work or internships you’ve completed. 

Ultimately, adding a “Hobbies and Interests” section at the end of your resume is a great way to wrap up your resume. 

It can help you make an impression that extends beyond the professional aspect and give the recruiter a little extra something to remember you by. 

Want to start your resume in a way that will grab the hiring manager’s attention? Learn how to write a resume summary with our guide! 

#5. List Up to Four Interests or Hobbies

Last but not least, it’s important to list the right amount of hobbies and interests on your resume. 

We recommend listing 4-6 total, at most. Anything less, and your hobbies section will look too empty. Anything more, and it’ll look like you’re just trying to fill in space.

Here are some additional tips you should always remember when you’re creating the “Hobbies and Interests” section of your resume: 

#1. Find out what you specifically enjoy about your hobbies 

People enjoy hobbies for different reasons. 

For example, someone might enjoy photography because they love being outdoors and capturing beautiful landscapes, while someone else might enjoy it because it gives them an opportunity to remember every place they visit or every person they meet. 

By identifying exactly what it is that you enjoy about your hobbies, it can be easier to describe them on your resume and talk about them genuinely in case the hiring manager asks about them during the job interview . 

#2. Be honest

Just like with everything else on your resume, you should be honest about the hobbies you list. 

Meaning, don’t lie about hobbies just because you think they sound cool, and don’t over-exaggerate something that can come back and bite you later on during the interview.

Just because you like to go on walks sometimes, doesn’t mean you’re “passionate about hiking” . Imagine the hiring manager’s also a hiking enthusiast and they ask you about the latest trail you hiked, but the only thing you can mention is how you enjoy taking a one-hour walk around your neighborhood daily to clear your mind. 

In such cases, it’s better to be honest and write this: 

• Physical exercise: exercising daily for 45 minutes by taking a walk in nature.

Instead of this: 

#3. Be specific 

The more specific you can be about your hobbies and interests, the higher the chances to stand out from other applicants and make an impression on the hiring manager. 

Here’s what we mean by that: 

• Learning languages: studying and practicing some of the most-spoken languages in the world, such as Mandarin and French. 

#4. Keep these hobbies OUT of your resume

A very thin line separates unique from weird, and you want to make sure not to cross it. 

To be on the safe side, avoid listing hobbies and interests that might be considered weird or controversial, such as any of the following:

• Hobbies that signal antisocial behavior or activities.
• Hobbies and interests that could be misinterpreted, even if you meant them as a joke (e.g. partying like there’s no tomorrow). 
• Hobbies and interests that reveal personal information such as your political or religious views. 
• Hobbies that could be considered violent or dangerous (e.g. lighting things on fire). 
• Hobbies and interests with little or no interactivity. 

Looking for inspiration?

Here are several hobbies you can include, by category, based on your personality type.

Sports Interest and Hobby Examples

Generally speaking, there are two types of sports you can include on your resume - individual and team-oriented .

Depending on the sport, they either show you work well with others, or that you have the self-discipline and perseverance to work alone (or both!) 

Endurance sports (like jogging) show your drive and discipline.

Team sports (like football, basketball, etc.) show that you’re comfortable working with others.

Which one you might want to include depends on you and the job. Here are some sports hobbies you could list that will paint you in a positive light:

• Marathon running
• Mountain climbing

Most of these sports are outside and physical activities. They show that you’re comfortable with working with other people and that you have discipline. Therefore, they’re relevant for most job roles that require you to be communicative and self-driven.

Analytical Thinking Interest and Hobby Examples

What’s a thought hobby?

Anything that points to your creative skills and imagination. 

If you’re applying for a job that requires a lot of out-of-the-box thinking, you can list the following hobbies:

• Playing a musical instrument
• Photography
• Blog writing

These all point to your analytical thinking and that you’re a creative person.

Possibly more calm and self-composed, and also that you think before you speak.

These qualities can be relevant depending on the job.

Though, your interest section doesn’t necessarily have to consist only of sports. 

Social Interest and Hobby Examples

Social hobbies are a great way to show you directly work well with others. Nowadays, most jobs require you to be in contact with other people, in one way or another

To show you work well with others and you’re adept at communicating, you can include:

• Creating and organizing a book club
• Networking events
• Local meetups
• Volunteering at a charity center
• Public speaking
• Exploring other cultures
• Language classes

Social hobbies are great because you’re going to be interacting with other people in most jobs - so one way or another, they’re going to help. Even more so if the job is in a leadership position.

Unique Interest and Hobby Examples

Do you have a particularly unique hobby that not a lot of people are into?

This can work in your favor and help you stand out, as long as it’s still in the unique area and not in the weird one.

The HR manager shuffling through a stack of resumes can remember your unique hobby and come back to your resume later. Or they could even ask about you during the interview, so be prepared to talk about it.

Some unique hobbies that can speak about your character may include:

• Stand-up comedy
• Calligraphy

How do these hobbies help?

Archery implies you might be a precise and focused person. And yoga shows that you can be calm and don’t lose your cool in stressful situations.

Though, just how effective those hobbies will be in your resume may depend on the job.

But as long as it’s not too weird, a unique hobby can help you get your foot in the door and show that you’re not afraid of being different.

Looking for tips on writing a CV instead of a resume? We've got you covered! Head over to our in-depth guide explaining how to write a CV !

Frequently Asked Questions

Do you still have some questions about hobbies and interests on a resume? Check out the answers below:

1. Should hobbies and interests be on a resume?

If you have the extra space to list them, then yes, you should include hobbies and interests on your resume.

Hobbies and interests can help you stand out from other candidates by shining more light into your personality and can also highlight skills you may have that employers seek, such as creativity, organization, problem-solving, etc.

2. What are some good hobbies and interests to put on my resume?

Some of the best hobbies or interests you can put on your resume are community involvement, writing, blogging, learning languages, photography, traveling, doing sports, reading, and art.

3. What are some hobbies and interests for a student resume?

Some hobbies and interests you can put on your resume as a student include creative writing, blogging, volunteering, learning a new language, and singing and/or playing an instrument.

Key Takeaways

And that’s a wrap on everything you need to know about hobbies and interests on a resume!

Before you go and start applying what you learned to your own resume, let’s go over the main points we covered in this article: 

• Hobbies and interests can help shine a light on a candidate’s personality and get them to stand out from other applicants with similar work experience and skills. 
• Include hobbies and interests on your resume if you still have space after listing all the essential sections, if you have limited work experience and relevant skills, if the company specifically requires it, or if the company puts emphasis on its employees’ character traits. 
• Some of the best hobbies to add to your resume include community service, writing/blogging, learning languages, traveling, doing sports, and reading. 
• Before creating a separate section for your hobbies and interests, first make sure that your resume would benefit from them, then research the company, and choose the right skills that could complement your skills and qualifications. 
• Four things to remember when you’re compiling your hobbies and interests are, to be honest, be specific, and keep hobbies that may be considered weird or antisocial out of your resume. 

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• 22 Best Examples of Hobbies and Interests to Put on a Resume (5+ Tips)

Featured in:

You’ve climbed Mount Everest, volunteer at the dog shelter on the weekends and have a mint condition comic book collection, the question is: do you let an employer know? Or more importantly, does the employer care?

Many employers are for including a hobby or two on your resume, reasons being to show the personal side of a candidate and to use it as a conversation topic in an interview.

Hobbies and interests can give your resume a personality the employer can relate to, a feeling on who you may be.

That said, when writing a resume that will land an interview, would someone looking at it be impressed by what your hobbies or interests are? Is it relevant in any way to the position you’re applying for?

If the answer is no, then you might be better leaving this section off.

Sorry to break it guys, no recruiter is going to hire you over someone else because you like travel or fishing.

This isn’t a Facebook profile; your resume is a document that tells the employer why you’re a good match for the Job.

WHY SHOULD YOU INCLUDE HOBBIES & INTERESTS IN YOUR RESUME?

Employers spend approximately 3 minutes and 14 seconds looking at your resume, with 1 out of every 5 recruiters making up their mind about you in 60 seconds.

Your resume should, therefore, give the employer a concrete description of who you are and express your capabilities in under 3 ½ minutes.

A two year longitudinal study of 120 hiring managers conducted by North Western University’s Kellogg School of Management Studies , showed that approximately 51.2% of employers selected suitable candidates based on their hobbies and interests.

An article by The Guardian could not describe it better that personal interests and hobbies are used to demonstrate how fit you are for the advertised position.

For these and many other reasons we’ll see below, it is essential to carefully analyze the hobbies you need to include in your resume.

Of course this depends on the job opportunity you are applying for.

Each hobby you add is a window into your character, and you should be sure that it directs light towards desired attributes.

In this article we’ll discuss how you how you can craft your resume to stand out among hundreds, probably thousands of resumes sent for each job vacancy.

WHAT DO EMPLOYERS LOOK FOR?

When deciding what to include as your hobbies, it is imperative to understand what your employers are looking for.

According to an article published by Forbes , the Job Outlook 2012 report, National Association of Colleges and Employers (NACE), cited the following as the most important skills employers look out for every time they receive a resume from a prospective employee.

Ability to be a Team Player

Potential employers want an assurance that you can work with other employees, share, and listen to their ideas, especially when handling group projects.

Being a team player also means that you should be willing to put the company’s and other people’s interests ahead of your own without expecting favors in return.

Ability to Communicate Both Inside and Outside the Organization

Employers want an effective communicator that can deliver concrete messages clearly, and also motivate and convince colleagues, juniors, and seniors in the workplace.

Excellent communication skills are also vital when talking to clients, and convincing them to approach the company for business.

Decision Making and Problem Solving Skills

Eventually, problems arise, and your reaction to each challenge could save or ruin the company.

Effective and efficient solutions are necessary during a crisis to prevent and also mitigate damage.

Making right decisions in the absence of supervision exhibits leadership skills and is a door to promotions and rewards.

Ability to Obtain Information and Process It

As a new employee, you are required to quickly integrate into the company system, with as little guidance as possible to avoid being a liability.

It is your responsibility to gather information if it is not handed to you, and use it to find your way, or produce constant output.

Ability to Plan Well

Depending on the rank of employment you are applying for, a secretary may not be provided. This means that the responsibility to file your work, organize it, and prioritize it based on size and dates due.

Without an efficient planning system or culture in place, it is easy to fall behind on all deadlines and lose trust from your seniors.

Ability to Actively Hone Your Skills

The ability to identify talent and hone it into something great is a plus because it portrays your ability to develop skills and efficiency during employment.

In the long run, you can become a valuable asset to the company.

Having a hobby, particularly one that motivates endurance, and also requires dedication shows passion.

Employers are looking for employees that are passionate about their jobs, to create value within them, and ensure that they can depend on them to keep pushing without supervision.

Well Rounded

By including hobbies in your resume, you demonstrate that there is more to you than just work. This is important as it presents you as an all rounded individual.

Maintaining a work-life balance shows your ability to juggle different aspects in life, and also shows that you value resting periods to keep you competitive and productive at work.

WHAT HOBBIES & INTERESTS SHOULD YOU INCLUDE IN YOUR RESUME?

Your resume should be tailor-made to fit every job you are applying for. Instead of copying previous resumes, consider the job qualification expected, and include hobbies that display skills and personalities the employers may be looking for.

For example, Google is known to hire open and playful employees because, besides their educational qualifications, they would like to hire people that integrate into their culture.

However, according to the undercover recruiter , 50% of recruiters reject resumes due to clichés.

This means that your hobbies and interests should reflect the skills employers are looking for, without seeming obvious and boring.

According to the Business Insider , the following are hobbies and interests worth considering each of them is suitable for different job postings.

Practicing yoga demonstrates an ability to remain calm and maintain control in all situations. It also shows a mastery of self and a deeper understanding of a person’s emotions.

Jobs such as PR (Public Relations Management) and advertising require control of emotions due to many inter-human interactions.

Work that also involves service delivery in hotels requires a mastery of emotions to avoid frustrating clients.

For example, a manager in a restaurant has to remain calm when addressing rude customers. If your job involves high human interactions, yoga is an excellent addition to your list.

Strategic Games

An interest in games like chess demonstrates that you enjoy thinking strategically.

This type of strength is desirable for positions where policy development and strategy formulation are key.

Video Production

Adding skills such as video production demonstrates your abilities and familiarity with equipment used during video production, journalism, and broadcasting.

Video production may also come in handy when applying for job opportunities in newspaper and magazine production companies since you show a broader understanding of activities within the journalism industry.

Extreme Sport

Participating in extreme sports such as skydiving, or racing mountain bikes shows that you have an adventurous spirit, and also dare to take on the unknown.

These traits are essential for employees hoping to take up leadership positions because they are willing to go beyond expectations and face their challenges head-on.

Bloggers are free thinkers, expressive, and good communicators. An excellent blog is a great addition to your list of hobbies and interest when applying for marketing, and writing opportunities. However, blogging also goes beyond necessary writing skills.

The ability to share positive thoughts through well-structured language, and stand up to ridicule is also a leadership quality.

If your blog contributes to providing information into the industry in which the job lies, include it in your list for the employers to see your understanding of the job required.

Bloggers are free thinkers, expressive, and good communicators. An excellent blog is a great addition to your list of hobbies and interest when applying for marketing, and writing opportunities. However, blogging also goes beyond necessary writing and  photo-editing skills .

Musical Talents

Playing musical instruments, and performing as a singer requires attention to tones, and patience when learning.

Good music requires discipline and dedication, and if you are qualified to list musical skills in your resume, they may draw the attention of potential employers.

Musical talents go beyond the performance industry. For example, performing before a crowd without stuttering or choking shows confidence.

Volunteering

If you enjoy volunteering towards charitable work and helping out others, include it in your resume. Volunteering to help others exhibits self-drive, and also shows the compassionate side of you.

It also demonstrates an ability to initiate action without supervision and not expecting special rewards in the end.

An employer will be interested in a volunteer if he/she feels that he or she places the company’s needs before personal gain.

Some voluntary activities also offer opportunities to learn essential business skills and technical skills that may give you an advantage over other applicants.

Photography

Excellent photographers have an eye for details, excellent photo opportunities and also pay attention to details.

The art of holding the camera, allowing enough exposure and producing breathtaking images is a skill learned over time.

Including photography in your list of hobbies and interests shows that you are keen, observant and also patient.

Apart from being a useful addition when applying for a job in journalism and video production, photography is helpful in any other fields that require a keen and sharp eye.

According to statistics from the Pew Research Center,  5% of Americans participate in hobbies related to the environment such as outdoor and naturalist activities and gardening .

Practicing gardening shows that you are conversant with plants, and nature, and are willing to participate in events geared towards environmental conservation and sustainability.

If you are applying for jobs that call for environmental preservation, gardening is an excellent addition.

Captain of a Team Sport

Leadership goes beyond offices and is also demonstrated in the field during sports. Being a team captain in high-adrenaline environments shows that you are calm, decisive, intuitive, and even understanding.

When applying for leadership roles, including other leadership positions you hold in sports may go a long way in improving your chances of landing an interview.

Captains are not only leaders, but they are also team players and are also capable of coming up with effective and efficient solutions in case of an emergency.

Tech Hobbies

According to an article by the Oxford Royale Academy , hobbies such as programming and coding, or practicing digital marketing through Google Analytics data, are a great addition to jobs that require technical expertise.

On the other hand, tech hobbies are introverted and are therefore an advantage in jobs that require introverts.

Puzzles and Chess

If you are applying for a job that requires analytical and critical thinking, then filling in crossword puzzles and playing chess are great ways of boosting your brain’ s capacity.

Games such as chess improve intelligent strategizing and are therefore useful for jobs that require such skills. The games are also introverted and are great for employers looking to employee critical thinkers who appreciate their space.

Drawing and painting are excellent additions when applying for jobs that require artistic creativity.

For example, if you are a graphic designer, apart from mastering graphic design programs, you need a natural artistic skill to generate ideas for clients, and organize images to create impressive layouts.

Exploring different places, and having an ability to appreciate different cultures is easily demonstrated through traveling.

Travelling also gives you exposure and tips for surviving and enjoying different states across the globe.

If you are applying for a travel agent job, you have a higher chance of being employed if you are conversant with traveling regulations, and have tips that you can offer to clients.

A survey conducted by Cint on the distribution of Hobbies and Interests among people in France in 2016 -2017 showed that 9.67% of the respondents took up cooking as a hobby.

Specific jobs may give you an advantage if you enjoy cooking.

For example, chefs, and cook-TV show hosts should enjoy being around the kitchen and trying new recipes. If your job description falls in line with cooking skills, you can include cooking, and give specific details to get an advantage.

Some companies, mainly IT-based companies use gaming as a team-building activity.

When applying for IT industry jobs, including gaming, especially multi-player gaming may come in handy.

High Risk Pursuits

Activities such as skydiving show that you are happy to push boundaries and take risks. These strengths are desirable for people going into product leadership roles.

Fantasy Football

While gambling is often dismissed as a vice, it may be useful when done for pleasure.

Some businesses such as banking and venture capitalism require skills in gambling, and would, therefore, present significant opportunities for smart gamblers.

Stamp Collecting

Though old, and perhaps harder right now, stamp collecting is an excellent addition for people interested in antiques and history.

It also displays a natural effort to preserve history for future generations to see. For example, if you are applying for a museum guide position, including stamp collecting in your list of hobbies is a big plus!

Bird Watching

Positions such as wildlife conservation manager require individuals that are naturally enthusiastic about animal behavior and preservation of their natural habitats.

Bird watchers enjoy the silent outdoors and are very patient.

Research shows that participants with science related hobbies, such as bird watching, are active science news consumers and are likely to participate in science related-activities (42%).

Clubs/ Organizations

You could also include any clubs or associations you are active in.

For example, the Rotary, The Red Cross Community, a golf club or a book club.

Participating in club activities shows that you have top notch human interaction skills, and are also a team player.

If you choose to include reading in your list of hobbies, remember to keep it detailed because many people can read. Explain what you enjoy reading to give the employers an opportunity to question you about it.

What Hobbies and Interests should I Include in my resume?

TIPS TO REMEMBER WHEN INCLUDING A HOBBY & INTERESTS LIST

While it is essential to have an impressive resume, lying about your skills and interests could give your employer the wrong impression.

You may be asked to perform tasks you do not understand based on everything you listed as a hobby.

Avoid embarrassing yourself, or become untrustworthy by not lying on your resume.

Pick hobbies that have relevant skills

It is possible to enjoy doing over ten things, but not have them on your resume. Your hobbies and interests should demonstrate skills that are essential in your job.

For example, an IT expert should include tech hobbies, rather than showcasing how good of a cook they are!

Avoid political and religious inclinations

Remember that your employer may not agree with your political and religious beliefs. Your hobbies should be free from any political or religious bias that could irk, or insult your potential employer.

Provide details

Instead of saying that you simply enjoy traveling, give a summary of some of the places you have traveled to.

If you enjoy blogging, mention some of the topics you enjoy writing about, any websites you may have and awards you may have received during your writing journey.

Keep the List Short but adequate

Remember that the Hobbies and Interests section is an addition.

Do not make it the main subject of your resume, and end up boring the employer.

Research the Company to Understand Their Work Culture

Remember that each hobby you include should be a stepping stone towards integrating with the company culture.

For Example, hobbies that require social interactions should not be used in introverted companies.

An article published by the CNBC revealed a study conducted by Top Resume among 379 recruiters to find the biggest resume deal breakers you should avoid.

However, that being said, if the the job you’re applying for is known for being a religious organization or a part of a political side, then you’ll want to include a hobby that exemplifies this.  For example, say you’re applying to a weapons company.  Then it would behoove you to include something that shows your interests in gun s as a hobby.

WHERE SHOULD YOU PLACE YOUR HOBBIES AND INTERESTS?

As stated earlier, all hobbies are an addition to the initial qualifications every employer advertises. Therefore, they should be placed last.

However, remember to keep the list as interesting as possible.

Sometimes, a good list of hobbies may be the key to getting your dream Job .

BOTTOM LINE

Including your hobbies and interests in your resume will help potential employers relate to you, and also evaluate your character before the actual job interview.

The list also creates an opportunity for a conversation during the interview and gives you an advantage over other applicants.

By providing a list of interests, employers can also integrate you into company activities such as sports activities, and improve recognition among your colleagues.

Ensure that all the hobbies you include are relevant to your job to increase your chances of getting employed.

Also, keep your list honest, detailed and as brief as possible for the employers to read through quickly.

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Why Personal Statement

A good personal statement supports your application to study at a university

Be concise and use your natural style

Personal Statement Creator and Sample Personal Statements

Create a Personal Statemen t and view examples of personal statement. Learn about how to write a personal statement for university or college applications. Know  how to start a personal statement.

Many students may apply to the same university course with the same grades as you. A well written personal statement can mean the difference between standing out from the crowd and your application being rejected.

Personal statements are generally read by admission managers or professors who serve on an admissions committee in the department to which you are applying. Personal statement gives you a chance to sell yourself to the university in a small and easy-to-digest paragraph.

What is personal statement format ?

A personal statement is like a short reflective essay you write about why you’re the perfect candidate for the course you’re applying to.

A good personal statement supports your application to study at a university . It’s an opportunity for you to express why you like to study a particular course and what skills and experience you possess that show your inclination towards the selected subject area. Basically you are telling admissions staff why you’re suitable to study at their university or college.

It’s important to remember that personal statement is same even if you are applying at different universities. So its better to avoid mentioning any university by name.

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Writing Personal Statement

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English Expressions for Describing Personal Hobbies & Interests

Learn advanced english expressions for describing personal hobbies and interests.

Unlock the power of advanced English expressions and elevate your language skills to new heights! If you’re an English learner seeking to enrich your communication abilities and truly connect with native speakers, you’re in for a treat. In this blog post, we bring you a comprehensive resource for mastering advanced English expressions that will enable you to effortlessly describe your personal hobbies and interests. Get ready to expand your vocabulary, sound more fluent, and gain the confidence needed to navigate real-life situations with ease.

We understand the challenges you face on your language learning path. It can be frustrating to find the right words that accurately convey your passions and interests. You may long for a more natural and nuanced way to express yourself but feel uncertain about how to achieve that level of proficiency. That’s where we come in. Our carefully curated collection of advanced English expressions will equip you with the tools you need to bridge that gap and take your language skills to the next level.

With these expressions at your fingertips, you’ll be able to effortlessly engage in conversations, captivate your audience, and truly make a lasting impression. By mastering the art of describing personal hobbies and interests, you’ll open doors to a whole new world of connection and understanding. So, join us on this language-learning adventure as we delve into the realm of advanced English expressions. Together, we’ll navigate the intricacies of the language, explore the cultural nuances, and empower you to express yourself with fluency and authenticity. Get ready to embark on a transformative journey that will enhance your communication skills and unlock endless possibilities in your English language endeavors.

Benefits of Reading this Article

• Expand Your Vocabulary: Gain access to a wide range of advanced English expressions specifically related to describing personal hobbies and interests. Enrich your vocabulary and add depth to your language skills.
• Enhance Fluency and Naturalness: Learn how to use these expressions in a natural and authentic manner. Improve your fluency by incorporating idiomatic language into your conversations.
• Communicate with Confidence: Develop the confidence to express yourself confidently and effectively when discussing your personal hobbies and interests. Feel more at ease in real-life situations.
• Improve Cultural Understanding: Explore the cultural nuances embedded in these expressions. Gain a deeper understanding of how English speakers express their passions and interests.
• Navigate Real-Life Situations: Acquire practical tools for navigating various real-life situations, such as social gatherings, job interviews, or casual conversations. Feel more prepared and capable of engaging with native English speakers.
• Connect with Native Speakers: Enhance your ability to connect with native English speakers on a deeper level. Use these expressions to build rapport, engage in meaningful conversations, and foster connections.
• Boost Listening Comprehension: Improve your ability to understand native English speakers when they use these expressions. Enhance your listening skills and become more attuned to idiomatic language.
• Develop Cultural Competence: Gain insight into English-speaking cultures and their unique ways of expressing personal hobbies and interests. Deepen your cultural competence and become a more well-rounded language learner.
• Personal Growth: Engaging with advanced English expressions expands your linguistic repertoire and broadens your horizons. It fosters personal growth, curiosity, and a lifelong love for language learning.

The Importance of Advanced English Expressions for Describing Personal Hobbies and Interests in English Communication

Diving into the rich, diverse sea of the English language, one of the key areas that can often be overlooked is the realm of expressing personal hobbies and interests. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you wanted to share your passions in a conversation, but couldn’t quite find the right English words or phrases to do it justice? If yes, you are not alone, and I completely understand your struggle.

The ability to articulate your hobbies and interests effectively forms a critical part of learning English, supported by a myriad of research and expert consensus. It is a linchpin in social interactions and networking opportunities, where a shared hobby can serve as an ice breaker or a means of establishing common ground with others. Whether it’s discussing your favorite sport, passion for photography, or interest in gardening, having the vocabulary and phrases to describe your hobbies paints a vibrant picture of your personality and broadens the scope of communication.

Mastering advanced English expressions not only boosts your confidence but also adds depth to your conversations, allowing for a richer, more meaningful dialogue. The nuances captured by these advanced expressions are often the difference between a bland conversation and one that leaves an impact, allowing you to express your enthusiasm, devotion, or even the challenges you face in your hobbies.

List of Advanced English Expressions for Describing Personal Hobbies and Interests

Expression 1: “i’m a huge fan of…”.

Meaning and Usage: This expression is often used to convey a strong liking or enthusiasm for a certain hobby, interest, or activity. It’s a way of showing a significant level of interest or passion for something.

When to Use It: Use this phrase when you want to express your significant interest or admiration towards something. It’s casual and can be used in both formal and informal contexts.

• Example 1: “I’m a huge fan of classical music. I find it really soothing.”
• Example 2: “I’m a huge fan of mountain biking. It gives me an adrenaline rush.”
• Example 3: “I’m a huge fan of cooking. It allows me to be creative.”

When Not to Use It: Avoid using this phrase when you have a mild or passing interest in something, as it implies a high level of enthusiasm or passion. It might not be suitable for very formal contexts as well.

• Example of Misuse: “I’m a huge fan of your new haircut.” In this context, using “I really like” would be more appropriate because the phrase “I’m a huge fan of” generally implies a longstanding interest or passion.

Expression 2: “I’ve been getting into…”

Meaning and Usage: This phrase is used to express the recent development of interest or involvement in a new hobby or activity.

When to Use It: Use this phrase when you want to share that you’ve recently started enjoying or engaging in a new interest or hobby.

• Example 1: “I’ve been getting into gardening lately. It’s very therapeutic.”
• Example 2: “I’ve been getting into yoga. It helps me to stay balanced.”
• Example 3: “I’ve been getting into photography. I love capturing beautiful moments.”

When Not to Use It: Avoid using this phrase if you’ve been involved in the activity for a long time, as it implies a recent or new interest.

• Example of Misuse: “I’ve been getting into painting for the past ten years.” The phrase suggests a recent interest, so it doesn’t match with the time frame of ten years.

Expression 3: “I can’t get enough of…”

Meaning and Usage: This phrase indicates an insatiable desire or interest for an activity, hobby, or topic. It means that you immensely enjoy it and can’t seem to stop.

When to Use It: Use it when you want to express an intense enjoyment or addiction to something.

• Example 1: “I can’t get enough of crime novels. They’re so thrilling.”
• Example 2: “I can’t get enough of this hiking trail. The view at the top is incredible.”
• Example 3: “I can’t get enough of baking. There’s something so satisfying about it.”

When Not to Use It: Avoid using this phrase in formal writing or speeches, as it might be considered too casual. Also, avoid using it when you have a moderate interest or enjoyment in something, as it implies a strong, almost insatiable, desire.

• Example of Misuse: “I can’t get enough of filing reports.” It’s not suitable in this context because this phrase usually refers to enjoyable activities.

Expression 4: “I’ve always had a soft spot for…”

Meaning and Usage: This phrase indicates a fondness or liking for something that has persisted over a long period of time. It often carries an emotional or nostalgic connotation.

When to Use It: Use it when you want to express longstanding affection or preference for a hobby or interest.

• Example 1: “I’ve always had a soft spot for vintage cars. They remind me of my childhood.”
• Example 2: “I’ve always had a soft spot for watercolor painting. There’s a certain charm to it.”
• Example 3: “I’ve always had a soft spot for playing piano. It feels so serene.”

When Not to Use It: Avoid using it when you’re describing a new or recent interest, or when you’re discussing a hobby you don’t particularly feel emotionally connected to.

• Example of Misuse: “I’ve always had a soft spot for this new trend.” This doesn’t align well with the phrase, which suggests longstanding fondness.

Expression 5: “I dabble in…”

Meaning and Usage: This phrase is used to express casual or sporadic engagement in a hobby or interest. It suggests a non-expert level of involvement.

When to Use It: Use it when you’re describing a hobby or activity you engage in occasionally or at a basic level.

• Example 1: “I dabble in chess. I enjoy the strategy involved, even though I’m not an expert.”
• Example 2: “I dabble in painting. It’s a great way to relax and express myself creatively.”
• Example 3: “I dabble in wine tasting. I love exploring new flavors.”

When Not to Use It: Don’t use this phrase if you’re very involved or expert in the activity, as it implies a casual or novice level of participation.

• Example of Misuse: “I dabble in performing surgeries.” The phrase is inappropriate here because surgery requires expertise and it’s not something one casually “dabbles” in.

Expression 6: “I can spend hours on…”

Meaning and Usage: This phrase expresses that you enjoy a particular activity so much that you could spend an extended period of time doing it.

When to Use It: Use it when you’re talking about a hobby or interest that you find highly engaging or absorbing. 

• Example 1: “I can spend hours on a good book. I just lose myself in the story.”
• Example 2: “I can spend hours on my model train set. It’s a real labor of love.”
• Example 3: “I can spend hours on a complex puzzle. It’s so satisfying when the pieces start to fit.”

When Not to Use It: Avoid using this phrase when talking about activities that you don’t have much interest in or that you find tedious.

• Example of Misuse: “I can spend hours on cleaning my house.” This phrase is generally used for activities that are done out of passion or interest, not chores.

Expression 7: “I lose track of time when I’m…”

Meaning and Usage: This phrase indicates being so absorbed in an activity or hobby that you forget about time passing.

When to Use It: Use this phrase when you’re talking about a hobby or interest that you find extremely engaging or absorbing.

• Example 1: “I lose track of time when I’m gardening. I just get so focused on what I’m doing.”
• Example 2: “I lose track of time when I’m playing the guitar. I get lost in the music.”
• Example 3: “I lose track of time when I’m hiking. The beauty of nature is just captivating.”

When Not to Use It: Avoid using this phrase when describing activities that you don’t particularly enjoy or that don’t fully engage you.

• Example of Misuse: “I lose track of time when I’m waiting at the dentist.” The phrase is inappropriate here as it implies enjoyment and full immersion in an activity, which is not the case in this scenario.

Expression 8: “My go-to activity is…”

Meaning and Usage: This phrase expresses that a certain activity is your default or preferred choice when you have free time or need to relax.

When to Use It: Use it when you’re describing a hobby or interest that you frequently return to or prefer over others.

• Example 1: “My go-to activity is running. It clears my mind.”
• Example 2: “My go-to activity is playing video games. It’s a fun way to unwind.”
• Example 3: “My go-to activity is knitting. It’s calming and productive.”

When Not to Use It: Avoid using this phrase when referring to activities you do infrequently or don’t particularly enjoy.

• Example of Misuse: “My go-to activity is doing laundry.” The phrase implies an activity that one chooses to do for enjoyment, not for chores or obligations.

Expression 9: “I get a kick out of…”

Meaning and Usage: This phrase means that you derive pleasure or enjoyment from a certain activity or hobby. It’s a more informal and fun way of expressing your interest.

When to Use It: Use this phrase when you want to express that an activity amuses you or gives you pleasure.

• Example 1: “I get a kick out of trying different cuisines. It’s an adventure for my taste buds.”
• Example 2: “I get a kick out of karaoke nights. They’re just so much fun!”
• Example 3: “I get a kick out of DIY projects. There’s a sense of accomplishment in creating something yourself.”

When Not to Use It: This phrase is quite informal, so avoid using it in formal contexts or with people who may not be familiar with the idiom.

• Example of Misuse: “I get a kick out of attending business meetings.” This phrase is typically used to express enjoyment from fun or leisure activities, not formal or work-related tasks.

Expression 10: “I unwind by…”

Meaning and Usage: This phrase is used to describe an activity that helps you relax or relieve stress. It indicates your preferred method of relaxation.

When to Use It: Use this phrase when you’re describing a hobby or interest that helps you to relax and de-stress.

• Example 1: “I unwind by taking long walks in the park. It’s peaceful and calming.”
• Example 2: “I unwind by reading a good book. It helps me escape reality for a bit.”
• Example 3: “I unwind by playing the piano. It’s a great stress reliever.”

When Not to Use It: Avoid using this phrase when referring to activities that are stressful or that don’t help you relax.

• Example of Misuse: “I unwind by doing my taxes.” Taxes are generally associated with stress and responsibility, not relaxation.

Expression 11: “I have a penchant for…”

Meaning and Usage: This phrase signifies a strong or habitual liking for something or a tendency to do something.

When to Use It: Use it when you want to express a strong preference or tendency towards a hobby or interest.

• Example 1: “I have a penchant for vintage records. There’s something about the sound quality that modern music just can’t replicate.”
• Example 2: “I have a penchant for pottery. Shaping clay into functional items is incredibly satisfying.”
• Example 3: “I have a penchant for foreign films. They provide a unique cultural perspective.”

When Not to Use It: Avoid using this phrase when describing activities you’re not strongly inclined towards.

• Example of Misuse: “I have a penchant for doing dishes.” This phrase is typically used for activities that are enjoyed, not for chores.

Expression 12: “My favorite pastime is…”

Meaning and Usage: This phrase is used to express your most preferred leisure activity.

When to Use It: Use this phrase when you’re talking about a hobby or activity that you particularly enjoy doing in your spare time.

• Example 1: “My favorite pastime is bird-watching. It’s peaceful and keeps me connected to nature.”
• Example 2: “My favorite pastime is playing chess. It’s a wonderful mental exercise.”
• Example 3: “My favorite pastime is sketching. It’s a great creative outlet.”

When Not to Use It: Avoid using this phrase when referring to activities that are not performed during your leisure time.

• Example of Misuse: “My favorite pastime is filling out expense reports.” The phrase implies enjoyment of leisure activities, not work-related tasks.

Expression 13: “My hobby horse is…”

Meaning and Usage: This phrase refers to a favorite topic or issue that someone often talks about or pursues.

When to Use It: Use this phrase when you’re discussing an interest or hobby that you are passionate about and often return to.

• Example 1: “My hobby horse is sustainable living. I’m always looking for ways to reduce my carbon footprint.”
• Example 2: “My hobby horse is cooking with local ingredients. It’s all about supporting the local economy and eating healthier.”
• Example 3: “My hobby horse is urban gardening. It’s amazing how much you can grow in a small space.”

When Not to Use It: Avoid using this phrase when referring to interests that you do not pursue frequently.

• Example of Misuse: “My hobby horse is filling in spreadsheets.” This phrase is generally used for activities that are pursued out of interest or passion, not for mundane tasks.

Expression 14: “I find solace in…”

Meaning and Usage: This phrase indicates that you find comfort or consolation in a certain activity or interest.

When to Use It: Use this phrase when you’re describing a hobby or interest that gives you comfort or helps you cope with stress or sadness. 

• Example 1: “I find solace in playing my guitar. It helps me express my emotions.”
• Example 2: “I find solace in journaling. It’s a safe space for my thoughts and feelings.”
• Example 3: “I find solace in long walks by the beach. The sound of waves is therapeutic.”

When Not to Use It: Avoid using this phrase when describing activities that don’t provide emotional comfort or consolation.

• Example of Misuse: “I find solace in doing my taxes.” The phrase implies a comforting or soothing activity, which does not apply to tax preparation.

Expression 15: “My sanctuary is…”

Meaning and Usage: This phrase is used to describe a hobby, place, or activity where you feel most comfortable, safe, or at peace.

When to Use It: Use this phrase when discussing an activity that provides you a sense of security and peace.

• Example 1: “My sanctuary is my art studio. I can lose myself in my creations.”
• Example 2: “My sanctuary is practicing yoga. It gives me a sense of balance and inner peace.”
• Example 3: “My sanctuary is my kitchen. Cooking is my therapy.”

When Not to Use It: Avoid using this phrase to describe activities or places that don’t provide you a sense of peace and comfort.

• Example of Misuse: “My sanctuary is the crowded subway during rush hour.” A sanctuary typically implies a place of refuge and tranquility, not a stressful or chaotic environment.

Expression 16: “I have a knack for…”

Meaning and Usage: This phrase means you have a natural skill or talent for a particular activity.

When to Use It: Use it when you’re discussing an activity or hobby that you are particularly good at or have a talent for.

• Example 1: “I have a knack for playing the piano. It just comes naturally to me.”
• Example 2: “I have a knack for baking. My pies always come out perfectly.”
• Example 3: “I have a knack for gardening. Plants seem to thrive under my care.”

When Not to Use It: Avoid using this phrase when referring to activities that you don’t excel in or have a natural talent for.

• Example of Misuse: “I have a knack for forgetting things.” This phrase is generally used in a positive context to denote a special skill or talent, not a lack or weakness.

Expression 17: “My ideal way to kill time is…”

Meaning and Usage: This phrase indicates your preferred activity to pass the time, especially during periods of waiting or leisure.

When to Use It: Use this phrase when describing an activity you enjoy that helps you pass the time.

• Example 1: “My ideal way to kill time is reading. I can always carry a book with me.”
• Example 2: “My ideal way to kill time is playing mobile games. It’s fun and accessible.”
• Example 3: “My ideal way to kill time is sketching. It’s a productive use of spare moments.”

When Not to Use It: Avoid using this phrase when discussing activities that require intense concentration or significant time commitment.

• Example of Misuse: “My ideal way to kill time is rebuilding car engines.” This task is complex and time-intensive, not a casual time-passing activity.

Expression 18: “I’m partial to…”

Meaning and Usage: This phrase indicates a bias or preference for a particular activity or hobby.

When to Use It: Use it when you’re discussing an activity or hobby that you favor over others.

• Example 1: “I’m partial to hiking. I love the combination of exercise and being in nature.”
• Example 2: “I’m partial to painting. It’s a great way for me to express myself creatively.”
• Example 3: “I’m partial to photography. I enjoy capturing moments and the beauty in the ordinary.”

When Not to Use It: Avoid using this phrase to describe activities or hobbies you don’t particularly prefer.

• Example of Misuse: “I’m partial to going to the dentist.” The phrase implies a preference or liking, which isn’t usually associated with a dentist visit.

Expression 19: “My escape from reality is…”

Meaning and Usage: This phrase is used to express an activity or hobby that allows you to momentarily forget your worries and stresses, offering a mental break from your regular life.

When to Use It: Use this phrase when describing a hobby or activity that helps you detach from daily routines and stressors.

• Example 1: “My escape from reality is immersing myself in a good novel.”
• Example 2: “My escape from reality is painting. When I’m in front of the canvas, everything else fades away.”
• Example 3: “My escape from reality is sailing. The open water puts everything in perspective.”

When Not to Use It: Avoid using this phrase when referring to routine tasks or responsibilities that are part of your ‘reality.’

• Example of Misuse: “My escape from reality is filing reports at work.” This does not make sense as the task mentioned is part of your day-to-day ‘reality,’ not an escape from it.

Expression 20: “My guilty pleasure is…”

Meaning and Usage: This phrase indicates an activity or hobby that one enjoys despite feeling somewhat embarrassed or guilty about it, often because they believe it’s not widely accepted, considered a waste of time, or not in line with their usual taste.

When to Use It: Use it when discussing an activity or interest you enjoy, but don’t usually admit to.

• Example 1: “My guilty pleasure is watching reality TV. It’s not highbrow, but it’s entertaining.”
• Example 2: “My guilty pleasure is reading romance novels. They’re a bit cheesy, but I love them.”
• Example 3: “My guilty pleasure is playing video games. Some people think they’re a waste of time, but I find them fun and engaging.”

When Not to Use It: Avoid using this phrase when talking about interests or hobbies you are openly proud of or that are generally accepted or admired.

• Example of Misuse: “My guilty pleasure is reading literary classics.” There’s generally no guilt or embarrassment associated with reading highly-regarded literature.

Contextual Understanding

Understanding and using advanced English expressions, especially those pertaining to personal hobbies and interests, are integral to a well-rounded grasp of the English language. Such expressions add depth, richness, and authenticity to one’s spoken and written English. They offer more than just a way to communicate facts—they provide a means to convey passion, interest, dedication, and nuance in a way that simpler, more basic vocabulary often cannot.

These expressions are largely idiomatic, meaning they are characteristic of the natural language used by native speakers. They often involve elements of colloquialism, metaphor, and cultural references, and therefore, their use is a mark of advanced English proficiency. Understanding these expressions requires a grasp of both the literal and implied meanings, as well as when and how they are appropriately used.

From a grammatical perspective, these expressions are flexible and can often be adapted to different tenses, voices, and moods. For example, the expression “I’m a huge fan of…” can be transformed into “I’ve always been a huge fan of…” for past tense, or “I’ll always be a huge fan of…” for future tense. This adaptability lends these expressions their versatility and wide application.

Pronunciation also plays a key role in properly using these expressions. Many of them contain words or phrases that have unique stress patterns, intonation, or rhythm in spoken English. For instance, in the expression “I can’t get enough of…”, the word “can’t” is usually stressed to emphasize the insatiability of the speaker’s interest.

Research and linguistic studies have continually highlighted the importance of understanding and using advanced expressions in learning and mastering a second language. According to a study published in the Journal of Second Language Acquisition, use of idiomatic expressions like these is one of the key distinguishing factors between intermediate and advanced language learners.

Moreover, experts often argue that familiarity with such expressions can significantly boost English language comprehension and communication. As stated by language expert and author Dr. Frank Nuessel in the Modern Language Journal, “Fluency in English is not just about understanding grammar and vocabulary. It’s also about understanding the culture, the nuances, and the idiomatic expressions.”

By learning to use these advanced expressions to describe personal hobbies and interests, learners are not just improving their English communication skills—they are also getting a glimpse into the cultural nuances and richness that underpin the English language.

Tips for Mastery

1. native english content.

Immerse yourself in English-speaking environments by watching movies, TV shows, and videos, listening to podcasts or music, and reading books, articles, and blogs. Pay attention to how native speakers use expressions related to hobbies and interests. This exposure will familiarize you with the natural usage and context of these expressions.

2. Create Flashcards or Vocabulary Lists

Compile a personalized list of expressions, phrases, and tips related to personal hobbies and interests. Use flashcards or vocabulary apps to practice memorizing and reviewing them regularly. Write down example sentences or create visual cues to reinforce your understanding and recall.

3. Practice in Conversations

Actively incorporate these expressions into your conversations. Engage in language exchanges with native English speakers or fellow learners who are also focused on advancing their English skills. Experiment with using these expressions naturally and confidently, and seek feedback on your usage.

4. Role-Play Scenarios

Set up role-playing scenarios with a language partner or practice them on your own. Imagine conversations where you discuss your hobbies and interests, and incorporate the advanced expressions you’ve learned. This helps you internalize the expressions and gain fluency in using them in different contexts.

5. Utilize Spaced Repetition Techniques

Employ spaced repetition techniques to reinforce your learning. Review and practice the expressions regularly, gradually increasing the intervals between practice sessions. This approach maximizes your memory retention and helps you internalize the expressions over time.

6. Contextualize the Expressions

Understand the context in which these expressions are commonly used. Consider the appropriate situations or conversations where each expression fits naturally. By grasping the nuances of their usage, you’ll develop a better sense of when to incorporate them into your own communication.

7. Connect Grammar and Usage

Pay attention to the grammar structures associated with these expressions. Observe how they fit into sentence patterns, such as using gerunds, infinitives, or specific prepositions. By understanding the grammar behind the expressions, you can utilize them accurately and effectively.

8. Reflect and Analyze

After conversations or encounters where you’ve used these expressions, take time to reflect on how well they were received and how effectively you conveyed your intended meaning. Analyze any areas for improvement, and actively seek opportunities to refine your usage.

9. Language Learning Apps and Resources

Leverage language learning apps, such as Lillypad.ai, which offers advanced English language training tailored to your specific needs. Utilize the app’s features, such as vocabulary exercises, pronunciation practice, and interactive reading, to enhance your skills in describing personal hobbies and interests.

10. Practice Patience and Persistence

Language learning is a gradual process, so be patient with yourself. Embrace mistakes as learning opportunities, and celebrate your progress along the way. Stay consistent, practice regularly, and maintain a growth mindset to achieve mastery over time.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

1. literal translation.

One mistake learners often make is relying too heavily on literal translation from their native language to English. This can lead to awkward or nonsensical usage of expressions. Instead, strive to understand the idiomatic meaning and cultural context behind each expression, rather than translating word-for-word.

• Example Mistake: “I’m a big supporter of photography” (direct translation)
• Corrected Version: “I’m a big fan of photography” (idiomatic usage)

Expert Tip:  Immerse yourself in English language content, engage in conversations with native speakers, and practice using expressions in context to develop a more intuitive understanding of their idiomatic meaning.

2. Overusing Expressions

Another common mistake is overusing specific expressions, leading to repetitive or unnatural speech. While it’s important to incorporate advanced expressions, it’s equally vital to vary your language and explore alternative ways to express your ideas.

• Example Mistake: “I’m a huge fan of everything” (repetitive usage)
• Corrected Version: “I have a wide range of interests” (varied expression)

Expert Tip: Expand your vocabulary by actively seeking out synonyms and alternative phrases that convey similar meanings. Practice using a diverse range of expressions to avoid repetitive language use.

3. Misusing Collocations

Collocations are specific word combinations that native speakers commonly use together. Misusing collocations can make your speech sound unnatural or confusing. Pay attention to common collocations associated with hobbies and interests and use them correctly.

• Example Mistake: “I enjoy make photos” (incorrect collocation)
• Corrected Version: “I enjoy taking photos” (correct collocation)

Expert Tip:  Study collocations related to hobbies and interests and practice using them in sentences. Read and listen to native English content to familiarize yourself with natural collocations and patterns of usage.

4. Mispronunciation

Pronunciation errors can affect how well you communicate, even if your grammar and vocabulary are excellent. Pay attention to the correct pronunciation of specific sounds, stress patterns, and intonation associated with advanced expressions.

• Example Mistake: Mispronouncing “hobby” as “hobb-ee” instead of “hah-bee”
• Corrected Version: Pronouncing “hobby” as “hah-bee” (correct stress pattern)

Expert Tip:  Use pronunciation resources, such as language learning apps or online tutorials, to practice specific sounds and intonation patterns. Record yourself speaking and compare it to native speaker models for self-correction.

5. Lack of Contextual Awareness

Another mistake is using expressions in inappropriate contexts or situations where they may not be suitable. This can lead to confusion or misunderstanding.

• Example Mistake: Using an informal expression in a formal business setting
• Corrected Version: Adapting your language to the appropriate level of formality

Expert Tip:  Develop an understanding of the appropriate contexts for each expression. Consider the formality of the situation and the relationship with the person you’re speaking to before using advanced expressions.

In conclusion, mastering advanced English expressions for describing personal hobbies and interests holds tremendous value in English communication. These expressions not only allow you to convey your passions and interests more effectively but also add depth, nuance, and authenticity to your language skills. By incorporating these expressions into your repertoire, you can engage in more engaging and meaningful conversations with native English speakers and fellow language learners.

Remember, achieving proficiency in any aspect of language learning requires continuous practice and dedication. Embrace the process of learning and expanding your vocabulary of advanced expressions. Make use of the strategies and tips provided, such as immersing yourself in English content, practicing in real-life conversations, and utilizing language learning resources like Lillypad.ai to enhance your skills.

Language acquisition is a journey, and it’s important to approach it with a growth mindset. Be patient with yourself, celebrate your progress, and remain motivated to improve. Practice regularly, seek opportunities to use these expressions in various contexts, and never shy away from seeking feedback or guidance from experienced teachers or native speakers.

As you navigate your English language journey, always remember that language is a tool for connection and self-expression. By mastering advanced expressions for describing personal hobbies and interests, you’re expanding your ability to connect with others, share your passions, and create meaningful connections across cultures and languages.

So, keep practicing, keep learning, and keep embracing the joy of language exploration. Your dedication and efforts will undoubtedly lead to greater fluency, confidence, and success in English communication.

Learn from History – Follow the Science – Listen to the Experts

For learners of all ages striving to improve their English, LillyPad combines the most scientifically studied and recommended path to achieving English fluency and proficiency with today’s most brilliant technologies!

What’s the one thing that makes LillyPad so special? Lilly! Lilly’s a personal English tutor, and has people talking all over the world! Lilly makes improving your English easy. With Lilly, you can read in four different ways, and you can read just about anything you love. And learning with Lilly, well that’s what you call liberating!

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At LillyPad , everything we do is focused on delivering a personalized journey that is meaningful and life-changing for our members. LillyPad isn’t just the next chapter in English learning…

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William Landry

William is a professional English and ESL teacher with over 15 years of experience. He has taught students of all ages, from children to business executives, and has worked with ESL learners from all over the globe. With a degree in English Education, William has developed curriculum for learners of all levels and interests. He is passionate about helping people learn English effectively and shares his knowledge with the LillyPad community. When he’s not teaching or writing, William enjoys spending time with his wife and two young children.

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