how to get child to focus on homework

A Fine Parent

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9 Simple Tips for Teaching Kids How to Focus on Homework

by Cate Scolnik . (This article is part of the Positive Parenting FAQ series. Get free article updates here .)

Five minutes into my daughter starting it, she’s asked 4 irrelevant questions and walked across the room twice – for no reason .

She had a break when she first got in from school, and had a snack. Then we agreed to a little outside time before starting homework.

She’s got the book open and a pencil in her hand, but that’s the sum total of her achievement so far.

Her mind doesn’t seem to want to sit still – preferring to bounce all around the place. It’s like her mind is a magnet, and when it’s put near homework, it repels away from it.

When she was 5, I thought she would grow out of it; but at 8 years old I was beginning to worry.

As someone who likes to get in and get things done, it drives me nuts .

Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter dearly. But the way she gets distracted every 5 minutes during homework time is enough to make anyone go crazy.

She’s highly intelligent, has loads of positive energy and is warm and engaging. She can focus long and hard on anything she is interested in. But getting her to focus on homework she isn’t keen on? Damn near impossible.

I just couldn’t sustain parenting positively unless I got this under control. I wanted to take some action.

At one point when her distraction was driving me nuts, I had started to wonder if I should get her tested for attention deficit disorder (ADD). My research on this topic led me to discover some behavioral techniques used with ADD kids, that are also applicable to any child having difficulty focusing.

I decided to try them for teaching my daughter how to focus on homework. Some worked better than others but overall it has been a great success. Here are the ones that worked for us –

#1 Keep It Short

When it came to doing homework, we kept it short and broke it down. Generally, that meant one ten-minute stint a day, instead of one 30-40 minute block each week.

Each time she wandered off task (mentally or physically), I would gently guide her back to the homework.

I kept the focus light and pointed out the fun parts of her work. And I bit down hard on my tongue every time I felt like screaming “If you just stuck to the task and focused you could be done already!”

#2 Use A Timer

So, if I estimated a task could be completed in about 2 minutes, I’d set the timer for 5 minutes. Each time she started chatting about something, I’d say something like “I hope you beat the timer!” or “Don’t forget – you want to beat the timer!”

#3 Wear Them Out

My daughter has loads of physical energy, so I made sure she got lots of exercise . Even now she needs to do lots of running around, or physical activity to wear her out a bit.

I’m not talking about making her run a marathon every day. Just encouraging and supporting her to move her body.

I worked with her natural rhythms as much as possible. I realized she had more energy in the afternoon, so we often went on outings in the morning.

If she’d been to school for the day and we were going to spend a few minutes on homework, I’d encourage her to go and jump her jiggles out on the trampoline before we sat down to focus.

#4 Kept It Positive

I focused on her positive outcomes as much as possible. Whenever she breezed through an activity I would give her positive feedback .

“Look how quickly you finished writing out your words! You stayed focused and you finished that in no time. Well done!”

We’d always start homework early and allow extra time to get things done, so I had to be organized and plan ahead. This meant I could sometimes say, “Wow! You finished your homework the day before it’s due. Great effort!”

If we’d been working on a homework task for a long time and she was just getting less and less focused, I’d call a stop to it. When a five-minute task is only half done after 25 minutes, and there’s no momentum, there really isn’t any point continuing.

This is a tricky one, and I didn’t use it often. She’s a bright girl and she knew she hadn’t finished what she set out to do that day. But if we kept trying and getting nowhere, we would both become very frustrated and dejected – no good ever comes out of that.

So, I’d suggest we leave it for now and come back to the task when we were fresher. This way she wasn’t failing, it just wasn’t the right time.

#6 Eat More Fish

Crazy as it might sound, eating more fish or taking fish oil supplements , is apparently helpful.

Now, I’m not a nutritionist and I understand that the fish oil theory is unproven. But there seems to be research to support the fact that fish oil high in EPA (rather than DHA) can help improve focus.

I figured it was something that couldn’t hurt, so I did it. It seemed to me that each time her fish oil consumption dipped, she became less focused.

I’ve no real evidence to support that – it may just be in my head. 😉

#7 Encourage Self-Management

The Tools of the Mind program produces brighter children who are classified as gifted more often, but more importantly, it also produces kids with better behavior, greater focus and control.

Classes involve role play and each child creates their own detailed plan of their part. If a child gets off track, the teacher refers them back to their plan.

One of the ways the program helps is through encouraging planning and time management by setting weekly goals. This helps to wire up the part of the brain responsible for maintaining concentration and setting goals.

The Tools of the Mind philosophy is that every child can become a successful learner, with the right support. Children learn by using the skills they currently have – such as drawing and play. They think through their play plan, then draw a detailed record of it, then carry it out.

Using their skills in this way teaches children to set achievable goals, work out how to reach them, and stay on track. They learn they can be responsible for their own outcomes. We’ve been using this to teach my daughter self-management .

#8 Work Together

My daughter is nearly eleven now and has matured a lot over the last year. And I’ve just started using self-management techniques to help her set goals and plan how she’ll achieve them.

Earlier this year she said she really wanted to improve her grades, which I said was a great goal. Then she said she wanted to be involved in band, which means taking some band lessons in class time.

I asked her to plan how she intended to achieve both goals, given she has other extra-curricular activities she wants to keep up.

She created a plan to practice her instrument regularly and do more homework than she has previously. We’re at week 7 of our school year here in Australia, and so far she’s on track.

She dives into homework without being reminded and gets it done early. She’s also completing homework tasks to a higher standard, rather than madly (and messily) rushing through them .

Since starting band she’s been practicing twice a day, every day – without being asked. I know that if she loses momentum, or strays off track, I can direct her back to her own plan.

#9 Understand The Scale

We all have different strengths and weaknesses. And attention and focus can vary wildly, particularly in the early years.

It partly depends on the environment, and partly the child.

Try and take the pressure off, and work with your child’s strengths.

Break tasks down and keep them fun.

Aim for a balance between physical and mental focus, and remember it’s OK to give up if the timing isn’t right.

Have realistic expectations, and know that your child’s focus will improve with age.

Don’t be scared to quit when things really are not working. Not doing a perfect job on the homework once in a while is not the end of the world. If it comes to a choice between quitting for the moment or screaming and yelling at your kids through the task, choose love and call it quits.

And finally, hang in there. It’s all going to be OK.

The 2-Minute Action Plan for Fine Parents

Take a moment to consider your child’s behavior.

• How does it compare to other children? Either their siblings or a number of other kids of a similar age? (Try to compare them with a range of other kids – rather than one or two)
• Does your child seem to have age-appropriate behavior and focus? If you’re concerned, do you need to seek help?
• How can you start breaking down big tasks into manageable (snack-sized) sections?
• Is your child able to focus on things they like doing? Can you use that in your favor?
• Are your kids distracted by things that could be controlled?
• What strategies can you put in place to keep your kids focus?

The Ongoing Action Plan for Fine Parents

• Brainstorm some roles that you can use to elicit certain behavior. If you need your child to be quiet and still for a few minutes, what can they pretend to be? A King or Queen on a throne? A soldier on guard? Good posture during homework is a good idea, but if the only way to get your child to do it without a fuss is to let them pretend to sit on a throne or stand at attention, go for it!
• Think back over the things that your child struggles to focus on. How can you get them to use self-management techniques to improve?
• If it seems impossible to get your child to focus and pay attention ask yourself this: “If it were possible, how would it be achieved?” Make some notes.
• Take a moment to check out why Tools of the Mind works so well and think about how you might use their strategies at home.

About Cate Scolnik

Cate is on a mission to help parents stop yelling and create families that listen to each other. She does this while imperfectly parenting two boisterous girls of her own and learning from her mistakes. Download her free Cheat Sheet to Get Your Kids from "No" to "Yes" in Three Simple Steps and reduce your yelling today.

May 16, 2016 at 6:21 am

This is a great article and there is some mention of it but I feel it has to be emphasized- that no homework should ever trump connection with your child. If homework struggles are causing you to butt heads time to re-think! Your child needs you in their side ALWAYS, there have long difficult days in School where social interactions and the system challenge their resources all day long. The need to come home to an ally. Here in Canada we are seeing tons of research that shows that homework before high school produces little increase in assessment scores – I imagine education philosophy will move toward reducing or almost eliminating primary homework! So don’t sacrifice your living connected relationship at home iver homework

May 16, 2016 at 2:35 pm

Totally agree with you on the point that “no homework should ever trump connection with your child”, Kim.

I’ve read some of the research about homework, but I’m not entirely convinced. To me, even if homework does little to increase assessment scores, it builds the habit and discipline of getting things done on your own outside the classroom… So IMO there is some merit to it. The question for me is more of how to teach our kids to focus and build this habit in a kind and gentle manner without butting heads…

May 16, 2016 at 11:29 pm

You’re right that we shouldn’t let homework damage relationships. I’m fortunate that our school has homework as an optional thing, but we do opt in. Like Sumitha, I think it’s more about getting a routine established.

Thanks for your comment. 😉

May 10, 2017 at 3:50 pm

Agree with #Cate. I asked school to increase the home work for my daughter to help her develop the habit of focus, responsibility, self – discipline and also prepare them for high school where they should not get shocked with the name of home work thinking it as a monster.

Apart from this, these tips are life saving and work word by word. Thank you so much for sharing and I liked these so much that I shared the page with my facebook friends.

May 16, 2016 at 1:35 pm

My child’s PRE-SCHOOL had homework. It was age-appropriate (“Color the baby chicks yellow”) but surprise, surprise–my daughter didn’t want to do it. She wanted to run around the playground and then jump on the sofa. I mentioned this to another parent (of a typically developing child) and she said, “Oh, we don’t do the homework. It’s not developmentally appropriate at this age.” Boy, did my life improve when I followed her advice and ignored the homework! I told the school, nicely, that I got home from work too late in the evening to do homework. And that was the end of it! Now, in elementary school, we don’t do the homework every night. It is BORING (math worksheets) and turns her off to everything related to school!

May 16, 2016 at 2:42 pm

Wendy, homework in preschool is probably pushing it too much… but as kids grow older, I do believe there is some merit to homework in terms of building habits and discipline of doing things on your own outside the classroom and being accountable for something that is assigned to you.

I personally feel that telling kids you don’t have to do something because it is boring sends the wrong message (listening to any grownup is boring for a kid… so if they can skip doing homework because it is boring, why not also skip listening to what grownups tell them?) To me, building the habits of accountability and sticking to a task even if it is sometimes boring and learning tricks to focus even when you sometimes don’t want to are important life skills… Homework is one of the ways to do this, and I would rather look for kind and gentle ways to do this than give up on homework entirely.

May 16, 2016 at 7:49 pm

I don’t believe in most homework and glad it’s not generally a part of Montessori. At my kids’ school they don’t start handing out homework until 4th grade, and even then it’s a packet they have all week to complete so they can choose their own pace for finishing it. I like that no homework leaves time for other things like piano and violin and volleyball and Latin, not to mention the chance for my kids to help me cook, etc. When my oldest got to the adolescent program and we started to struggle with homework, we realized in her case the best approach was to back off and leave her to fail or succeed on her own. I think for many children there is much more value in unstructured time to play and explore. They have to be disciplined at school all day. I don’t see why they have to extend that into home time. I love watching my kids come up with their own projects which are often far more interesting than anything a teacher would send home as an assignment. Most homework is busy work. Life is too short for that.

May 16, 2016 at 9:20 pm

If the homework was long and unending, I would likely agree with you (at least to a certain extent ;)), Korinthia. Fortunately, my daughter’s home work assignments usually take just 10 – 15 minutes which she actually finishes up in school. It is busy work, but it reinforces the facts that she has learnt that day in school. Her teacher’s take is that it helps her gauge if the kids are grasping what they learn, and lets her know if she should repeat any concepts or slow down the pace etc. I love that idea of using homework (and tests) as a feedback loop. Her school also specifically tells parent not to get involved unless the child asks for clarifications. This also helps the homework serve as a mini-token of responsibility and self-management… which is all good in my book.

I love how every time this discussion comes up, we come at it from such opposite perspectives 🙂

May 16, 2016 at 10:14 pm

I think one of the trickiest things in parenting is realizing people can do the opposite of what you do and still not be wrong. We’re all so vulnerable in this area that people get defensive fast! I love that you are so thoughtful with every response, and that there is more than one way to be right. And I keep coming back here because I feel it’s a safe place to voice a different perspective without people taking it as a challenge to their own parenting decisions. That’s a rare and wonderful thing and you should be proud of this site. (For that and many reasons!)

May 16, 2016 at 10:23 pm

Thanks, Korinthia. I needed to hear that today (for a reason unrelated to this site and the comments here). And of course I lapped up the compliments about the site too. I never tire of that 🙂

And you stretch my thinking more than anyone I know and I learnt a lot about writing responses from studying your responses… so thanks right back at ya!

May 16, 2016 at 11:35 pm

Hi Korintha,

You’re right that we can use homework as a valuable learning experience. For years my older daughter (now 11) has ‘hoped’ for straight As, but hasn’t achieved them. She’s getting better for years she did the bare minimum with homework, and did it rather … messily too! While I don’t push her too much, I do make the point that A grades are the result of hard work. They’re achievable for anyone who puts in the effort – including her. But getting As means you’ve done the best you possible can, almost all the time.

It doesn’t stop her hoping every time her report comes home, but she knows she can set goals and strive to meet them (they’re just usually in non-academic areas!).

Anyway, your point about homework being a mutli-faceted learning opportunity is a great one. 😉

May 17, 2016 at 7:27 am

Grades are a weird measure of things, though, because they aren’t universal. Does getting an A mean it’s the best you as an individual can do, even if it’s not great? Does getting an A mean there is some objective level of excellence that few people can reach? Does getting an A mean the grade was on a curve and you are simply the best in this particular crowd? A’s on a single report card can mean all of those things or none of them.

I remember in college I was upset one semester because my perfect 4.0 was marred by a B in tennis which I was simply taking for fun. I felt I should get an A for showing up and doing my best every time. Apparently the teacher had a different measure. And how do you grade music (which was my major)? One person can play every note perfectly and leave you feeling cold with their performance, and another can make mistakes but be electrifying. In orchestra it was pure participation–you started with an A and every class you missed you went down one letter grade. The A says nothing about if you did well or even improved. (You could get worse and still get an A.) When I was in 6th grade I used to alternate between A’s and failing grades in reading based on if I handed in the book reports. Those grades said nothing about my reading ability.

Grades do say something, but I’m skeptical about what. And every time I get worried about grades I remember my grandma telling me that nobody ever asked her her GPA once she graduated. No one has ever asked me mine, either. People only care what I can actually do, and that I try to prove every day, and that’s what I tell my kids to aim for. They may or may not get the grades they deserve to reflect that, but they need to mentally grade themselves to stay honest.

May 20, 2016 at 8:19 pm

Your points are spot on, as always. Grades are an arbitrary measure.

I think it’s far more important that my daughter is satisfied that she’s done her best, and that she’s proud of her efforts. Having said that, I do think it’s useful to learn that you can set goals and strive towards them.

Arbitrary or not, we spend most of our lives being assessed. Either at school or university or in the workplace. It’s usually one person’s opinion of certain traits or activities, and it’s often arbitrary.

Whilst I’ve certainly been the victim of a manager who’s had their own agenda – and rated me accordingly – I think that’s the exception. I also think it’s important that my kids feel that they have some control over the assessment. If they put in greater time and effort, they will usually get greater results.

It’s important to know that grades and assessments are only one person’s opinion and that they may be flawed. That is, we need to keep it in perspective. But given we’ll have these assessments throughout our lives, we need to learn to feel we have some control over them and we need to learn how to handle them. How to digest them, how to cope with them, and how to use them too.

It’s a complicated, complex, multi-faceted issue! And I certainly appreciate your perspective. Thanks for commenting 😉

May 17, 2016 at 4:28 pm

Thanks for this article! We are in our last week of kindergarten homework before the summer hits. That first sentence! So funny and spot on. Like “where are you going sit back down!” I find my self saying frequently. My son gets a packet of homework on Monday that he has to complete and turn in by Friday. I like the idea of using the timer! I’m not sure about play before homework.. I see the need for a break. My issue is that after eating and a play break its already so late then he’s not focused because he’s just getting tired. Also other than getting a 5 year old to focus on homework is doing the homework correctly. He will speed through it sometimes brag about how many pages he completed but he sometimes just writes down whatever to make it look like its complete! This has been driving me crazy, I have to erase so much! I’m trying to find the balance between getting him to work independently and me sitting there for every question. They do homework time in after school too and this is also when he makes it look like he’s doing homework and sometimes just draws pictures on the back of his homework pages. I think the amount of homework for kindergarten is a bit much, but I don’t think that not doing it is an option. I want to encourage him and be proud of him for completing his homework and also try to only let him play on the tablet after the whole packet is done… which also kinda leads to him speeding through it. Ugh and this is just year ONE! OMG!

May 18, 2016 at 3:57 am

Hi Amber, You’re right – you need to find what works for you. And if your kids are in after school care, it’s a bit too late to get them to concentrate when you get home. When I get my kids home it’s nearly 6pm, and there’s no way I can get them to focus on homework.

I’m lucky that I have two days a week where I don’t work late, so they are our ‘homework days’. The other option for us is to do a few minutes in the morning, before school, when the girls are fresh. Of course, this depends on what mornings look like in your house.

You say you want to be proud of him, but it’s also important that he’s proud of himself. That’s why I often ask my girls if they’re proud of their homework. It’s a great technique to get them to reflect on their efforts. 🙂

January 23, 2018 at 9:41 pm

Thanks for the tips for getting kids to do homework better. My son struggles with math, and he never wants to do his homework. I really like your idea to set a timer. That way, he knows exactly how long he needs to work before he can take a break to play. We will definitely give this a try.

April 7, 2018 at 9:49 am

Yes!! I totally agree with Korinthia! I have 5 kids from high school to a 2 yr. Old and it frustrates us as a family when we cannot take a walk, go out and play, or do any sports or extracurricular activity or even help with dinner because they have so much homework! How can kids get their 60 min. Of physical activity or eat healthier or spend time with family if we barely have time to eat a rushed meal to do homework? Including on weekends and vacation!

July 16, 2018 at 6:07 am

Homework is one word that makes every school child – and many parents – cringe. Follow these handy tips, and soon, homework related tension will become a thing of the past. https://www.parentcircle.com/article/exclusive-tips-to-make-homework-easy-for-your-child/

August 8, 2018 at 3:21 am

Awesome post!!! Homework is very important for students to get great results in academic. It is also essential to complete your homework on time. Thanks for sharing this information.

September 4, 2018 at 12:25 am

Good tips and very informative. Homework is a very important thing to get good grades n academic. Today, Focus on Homework is very essential. So, Students must do homework on time.

June 24, 2019 at 6:52 pm

October 15, 2019 at 7:55 am

It’s really useful tips for many parents and their kids. I think that right focus on homework is an important part to stay productive for a whole year in school.

January 7, 2020 at 11:13 am

Learning to focus is extremely important especially with the distractions that surrounds us in today’s world. Your article has been tremendously helpful and I am grateful so Thank you for sharing .

September 30, 2020 at 5:13 am

Nice!! I agree with the fine parent/this website.I tried all of them and almost all of them worked.Keep it up.👍👌👋

January 14, 2022 at 6:55 am

Nice tips, I’ll be sure to remember them. So I can try them out when I become a parent. Or I could just tell some parents around me.

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Raising-independent-kids

Evidence-based parenting tips and resources

10 Evidence-backed Tips to Teach Kids Focus and Concentration

May 29, 2017 by Sanya Pelini, Ph.D. 17 Comments

This post contains affiliate links for your convenience.

After years spent in different sectors of the education system, one thing I know for sure is that concentration in children doesn’t always come easy. Lack of focus and concentration is one of the issues most teachers struggle with; It is also one of the issues many parents struggle with.

Before I begin, here’s an outline of what this article will cover:

– Signs of poor concentration in children

– How to help your child learn to focus and concentrate better

– Some of the common causes of children’s inattention

– 18 easy tips to improve your child’s focus, concentration and self-regulation skills

– Toys and games that can help improve your child’s attentiveness

– Alternative natural options to increase your child’s focus and concentration

Help kid focus: What does poor concentration look like in children

If you are dealing with a child who is unable to concentrate, then you know what lack of focus and concentration looks like. Your child may:

– Be unable to or struggle to follow through on things (homework, tasks, etc.). A child who lacks concentration is also likely to have mastered the art of procrastination.

– Quickly lose interest in games and activities

– Rarely finish or take too long to finish assignments (you may hear frequent complaints from their teacher about their inattentiveness)

– Constantly need to be stimulated. For example, a child with low focus and concentration may be unable to stay concentrated on one activity for even brief moments and may keep changing activities at dizzying speeds.

– Be a daydreamer

– Be disorganized and unable to find their things

– Be easily distracted. The may set off to do something then end up doing something completely different because they forgot what they were supposed to be doing

– Appear to suffer from memory-loss

– Appear to never put in any effort

– Be unable to remember even the simplest instructions

– Have learning difficulties due to their inability to adapt to the school setting

Starting school is a major transition and although it can be an exciting moment for both your and your child, it is also a moment that has its fair share of challenges.

We now know that how well your child can navigate this transition largely depends on self-regulation. Several studies have found that a child’s ability to develop self-regulation skills determines their ability to create successful social interactions.

Self-regulated learners:

– are better able to resist distractions and remain focused on the task at hand

– demonstrate a higher sense of self-efficacy

– are more likely to be school ready

– have a greater sense of well-being

– encounter greater academic achievement even beyond the childhood years.

Help children focus, follow instructions, keep rules in mind and practice self-control

Adele Diamond, a well-known Professor whose studies have focused on self-regulation, argues that children should be taught to:

1. Develop self-control , i.e., they should learn to do what is appropriate rather than what they want to do.

2. Develop the working memory , i.e., they should be helped to hold information in memory while mentally incorporating new information.

3. Develop cognitive flexibility , i.e., they should learn to think outside the box.

Diamond believes that teaching self-regulation skills can help improve children’s concentration and focus. These skills can help your child learn to follow instructions and persist even when they encounter enormous challenges.

Other studies have found that self-regulated children are able to listen, pay attention, think, then act.

Everything you need to know if your child can’t focus

“My child can’t focus” is a rather common parenting complaint. While a child’s inability to focus is usually a common cause of concern, all children are easily distracted and generally have shorter attention spans than adults.

They are more curious and more easily distracted when they feel little interest for the tasks and activities they are asked to do.

Children’s concentration tends to improve as they grow older and develop their self-control skills .

That said, some children struggle more with focusing and resisting distractions. The problem with children’s lack of attention is that it contributes to their learning and to their day to day lives.

So first let’s look at what may be behind your child’s inability to pay attention.

Some of the common causes of children’s lack of focus and concentration

1) anxiety may be the reason your child can’t focus.

Anxiety is a common but often ignored cause of inattention among children described as “unfocused”, and this actually makes perfect sense.

It is not uncommon for anxiety to “block” your child, meaning that listening to and following instructions may be more complicated for such a child.

Your child’s separation anxiety or worry about doing something wrong at school or even embarrassing or humiliating themselves may mean that they are more likely to have difficulty paying attention.

2) Insufficient sleep has an impact on your child’s ability to concentrate

It is a well-known fact that poor sleeping habits have a negative impact on children’s focus and concentration.

If you think that your child’s lack of sleep may be behind their inability to focus, ensure that they are getting the appropriate number of hours of sleep every night or taking a mid-day rest if they need to.

The sleep foundation recommends that:

– 1 to 2 year olds need 11 to 14 hours of sleep

– 3 to 5 year olds need 10 to 13 hours of sleep

– 6 to 13 year olds need 9 to 11 hours of sleep

– 14 to 17 year olds need 8 to 10 hours of sleep

3) Lack of routines

Routines are very important in childhood because they provide your child with “a certain way of doing things”. A lack of routine brings uncertainty, and this may be responsible for their lack of concentration.

Adopting even a simple routine such as “ as soon as you get home, you take your snack, do your homework for 20 minutes, then watch TV for 20 minutes ” helps give your child a framework than can help reduce their lack of focus.

4) Inappropriate diet

While it is impossible to accurately determine how sugar (candy, sodas, cereals, snacks, etc.) impacts your child’s behavior, we now know that a moderate consumption of sugar is better for children.

This means paying attention to what your child eats and privileging the most natural diets possible and those that are high in fiber and low in sugar.

5) Excessive screen usage may lead to attention problems in children

Although the studies about screen time are inconclusive about “the right amount” and the “real impact” of screens on children, most screen-use researchers agree that too much screen time can have a negative impact on your child’s development.

There have been suggestions that screens overstimulate your child and therefore reduce their ability to focus.

Monitoring your child’s screen use and setting screen-use rules, establishing screen-free zones and forbidding screen use just before bedtime are easy ways that may help reduce their distraction.

It is not uncommon for children who have experienced traumatizing experiences to have a harder time paying attention.

Stressors may include issues such as bullying or peer pressure, major changes affecting the family (divorce, homelessness, changing schools) or even negative thoughts.

Age-appropriate resources can help your child learn to deal with strong emotions and reduce their lack of focus.

The good news is that many self-regulation strategies can be easily applied at home. In other words, each parent has the tools to help increase their child’s focus and concentration. Here’s how you can get started.

18 easy tips to improve your child’s focus, concentration and self-regulation skills

1 | Play Head-Toes-Knees-Shoulders

Everyone knows the Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes song. Turns out it’s a great resource for teaching kids to learn about focus and concentration.

The natural tendency with the Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes song is to touch the part of the body mentioned. However, research has shown that asking children to do the opposite of what they are told (for example touch their toes when they are asked to touch their head) helps develop their concentration.

2 | Play Simon says

Having trouble with your child’s concentration? Play Simon says. Simon says helps kids concentrate and follow directions and is thus a perfect game to develop self-regulation and concentration skills.

3 | Help your child train their mind to concentrate

The most effective way to improve your child’s concentration is to help them practice. We now know that the mental process of focusing one’s mind on a single activity can be learned.

Games and activities such as puzzles, mazes , find the missing number/object, pattern games, and so on have been proven to boost focus and concentration in children.

Age-appropriate Executive Function Kits are great because they help your child to work on different skills that can help improve not only their concentration, but also other skills such as organization, visual perception, memory retention, and much more.

Here are high-quality Executive Function Kits for children between the ages of four and six, and age-appropriate kits for kids between the ages of seven and nine .

4 | Try the day-night task

The day-night task involves showing a child a card (or picture) and asking them to say the opposite of what is on the card. For example, a child is expected to say “day” when shown a dark card with stars.

This tool has been used for years by researchers to improve children’s concentration.

5 | Propose picture sudoku puzzles

Picture sudoku puzzles are great for kids because they teach them about focus and concentration, help them practice their visual perception skills, and promote balance and harmony.

Picture sudoku puzzles are also an excellent art therapy activity to calm stressed kids and increase concentration. You can get high-quality picture sudoku puzzles here (for kids between the ages of 4 and 6) or here (for kids between the ages of 7 and 9).

6 | Make your child play a more active role 

The more your child feels involved in choosing their activities, the more likely they are to focus and concentrate.

Several researchers have found that asking kids to plan their activities in advance helps increase their interest, concentration and creative skills because it makes them feel personally responsible for managing their time and activities.

Our Executive Function Kits are filled with activities and worksheets to help children play a more active role in planning activities as well as their play time.

7 | Reducing distractions can help increase your child’s concentration

One of the main reasons that explains children’s lack of focus is their inability to resist distractions.

Even the most disciplined adults struggle with distractions sometimes, so it is logical that dealing with distractions can be difficult for your child. Setting aside a specific space without distractions (no screens, silent) can make it easier for them to concentrate.

8 | Adopt a routine

Routines can help increase your child’s concentration by helping them get on a schedule. A predictable routine can help them feel secure, reinforce consistency, and give them a sense of comfort and control over their environment.

For example, scheduling homework for a set time each day and being consistent can help improve their focus.

If your child is struggling with attentiveness, starting homework early and privileging short homework sessions every day, at a set time, can be more effective in helping tackle inattentiveness.

9 | Encourage make-believe play

Many researchers and educationists argue that intentional make-believe play is an important aspect of learning. It is a central element in children’s cognitive development

Charles Schaefer, the play therapy expert, argues that role-playing helps a child learn to think ahead and reflect on appropriate responses to frustrating situations.

When kids engage in role-playing, they are more thoughtful, flexible and creative in the face of everyday problems.

10 | Encouraging your child to participate in household chores can help increase concentration

Science says doing chores is good for your kids. Some of the benefits associated with chores include:

– Better social, emotional and academic outcomes

– An increase in your child’s sense of worth and confidence

– Increased autonomy and self-reliance

– The development of important skills such as responsibility, self-reliance and accountability

Simple tasks that show your child that they are capable of success reinforce their ability to concentrate. The more your child feels confident in their ability to achieve expectations, the easier it will be for them to focus.

Letting them choose the tasks to perform also makes it more likely for them to follow through. Here are 70 age-appropriate chore cards to encourage your child to begin or continue doing household chores.

11 | Encourage your child to read

Reading can help develop your child’s focus and concentration skills because it requires their brain to focus on both the words and the story line.

Good children’s books captivate them, open up their world, and are presented in an age-appropriate manner (number of difficult words, use of colors and illustrations, etc.).

Talk to your local librarian if you are unsure about a great book that would suit your child. Or subscribe to a book box (this is a great gift idea) and let your child receive age-appropriate books according to a schedule that you feel is right for you.

The  award-winning Bookroo Box  and  The Reading Bug Box  are great subscriptions if this is something you want to try out.

12 | Try play planning

Play planning involves asking kids to determine what they would like to do (or will do) during a specific moment (for instance when they are bored).

This can be achieved by asking them to draw a picture or write about what they will do at that particular moment.

This tool gives you the resources you need to help even the youngest kids practise play planning.

13 | Play the freeze game

The freeze game was successfully used by McClelland and Tominey in a study to develop children’s concentration. The freeze game involves asking everyone to dance to music and then freeze when the music stops.

You can also ask your child to dance slowly to slow songs and quickly to fast songs. When this is mastered, ask them to dance slowly when fast songs are played, and quickly when slow songs are played.

The Freeze game teaches your child to listen attentively and to follow instructions.

14 | Focus on positive behavior

The more you focus on your child’s positive behavior, the more likely they are to repeat that behavior. Setting simple concentration goals that they can achieve and then reinforcing positive behavior can help improve their focus and concentration.

That said, positive reinforcement used the wrong way can cause more harm than good.

The Positive Behavior Kit gives you a step-by-step approach to using positive reinforcement appropriately in order to reduce specific negative behavior.

It outlines the pitfalls to avoid and gives you practical tips to avoid turning this discipline strategy into some form of “bribery”.

15 | Avoiding multiple instructions can reduce your child’s difficulty with concentration

Kids struggling with concentration often have a harder time processing information. The more your child receives multiple instructions, the harder it will be for them to follow through.

Breaking down instructions can therefore make it easier for them to understand expectations. Asking them to repeat what they have understood can also make it easier to keep focused.

Simple questions such as “ What will you do first? And then? What will you do next? ” can also help them get a good mental picture of what they are expected to do.

16 | Use a timer

A timer is a great tool to help your child keep track of how long they can stay focused. You can use it for homework or for any other tasks, and slightly increase the time set as they get better with focus and concentration.

17 | Help your child practice mindfulness

Several studies have shown that mindfulness can help children learn to keep still and focused. For instance, one study found that teaching seven- to eight-year-olds breathing exercises greatly reduced their anxiety levels and increased their focus.

Some easy ways to get started include encouraging your child to practice deep breathing, practicing walking meditation, or even using safe and age-appropriate essential oils .

18 | Be receptive to your child’s needs

Different people need different environments to concentrate. Some require calm and others can only concentrate if they can hear some background noise. Identifying what works best for your child can help reduce their inattentiveness.

Using toys to help children focus

Some toys can prove helpful if your child is struggling with attention problems. Here are two categories of toys that may help increase their concentration.

Remember that not all kids will respond to the same strategies, and not all toys or tools will have the same impact on your child. The best strategy is to test different tools and see which one is best able to help your child focus and concentrate.

Category 1: Fidget toys

Fidget toys help children concentrate by keeping their hands busy and therefore allowing them to focus on something else. It is important to avoid trends and to choose appropriate fidget toys to increase your child’s concentration.

Many positive things and many negative things have been said about fidgets. The truth is, fidgets are good at helping kids focus, but only if those kids need them.

In other words, if your child is not struggling with issues such as lack of concentration or anxiety, then a fidget toy may actually distract them.

The good news is that fidgets can help your child become more focused, but the bad news is that there are so may fidgets out there, it may be difficult choosing a quality fidget toy that doesn’t actually distract your child (for example too visually stimulating).

Below are ten examples of good (and classroom-friendly) fidget toys you may want to check out:

1) A fidget spinner

This Metal Fidget Spinner is a solidly built and attractive spinner that will help occupy your child’s hands. If you prefer a different fidget spinner, Innoplus has several other designs that might catch your eye or you can get a pack of a few fidget spinners to keep on hand.

2) A fidget band

If your child finds it difficult to keep their feet still, a fidget band that you can attach to their chair or desk can help keep their feet busy and therefore allow them to concentrate on the task at hand.

3) Focusing putty

Focusing putty is great for kids who need to squeeze things to reduce their stress.

4) Bubble pop fidgets

I bet you’ve already noticed these latest fidgets that are great for keeping your child’s hands busy!

5) Marble Fidgets

I love Marble Fidgets because of their size which means that your child can take them absolutely everywhere!

6) Infinity cube

The infinity cube has eight small cubes that your child can rotate from any direction and any angle. It’s small, not too heavy, and is suitable for kids from age eight. The JOEYANK Fidget Cube is more durable, but plastic models also exist.  

7) Tangle toys

Tangle toys are simple but effective fidget toys that will keep your child’s hands busy and help them focus on the task at hand.

8) Monkey noodles

Your child can do absolutely anything with Monkey Noodles – stretch them, pull them, squeeze them, wrap them… What’s more, they are strong, safe and durable!

9) The smiley stretchy men

If you’re looking for a small fidget toy your child can take anywhere, then the smiley stretchy men are for you, and your child can use them from age three.

Other great fidgets your kid can put in their pocket include keychain bubble wrap pop fidgets and Fidget Bean Toy s.

10) Squishy balls

Squishy balls are great for reducing stress and keeping your child hands busy. They can also take them everywhere!

Category 2 – Focus games

Certain games can help your child improve their focus and concentration skills. Any game that can help them pay attention to small details, spot hidden objects, think, plan and use their memory are great options to help them become more attentive.

There’s no need to worry if they seem to struggle when you first begin – they more you play, the more accurate they should get!

Here are a few good games that may help with your child’s focus

1) Where’s Wally?

This activity book will provide your child with hours of fun and help them work on their concentration as they try to spot hidden objects.

2) Jigsaw puzzles

Puzzles are good toys for helping children learn to focus and concentrate, but not if they are too difficult for your child. Start will small puzzles or large puzzles , and don’t hesitate to help if your child is looking frustrated.

3) Memory card games

Memory games can help improve your child’s attentiveness by teaching them about focus and concentration.

How the game works

1) Get memory cards and ensure that there are only matching pairs.

2) Shuffle the cards and place them face down.

3) Each player picks any two cards. If the cards match, they keep them and take another turn. If the cards don’t match, they place them back exactly where they were. 4) The person who matched the most pairs wins.

Memory card games are great for developing your child’s focus and concentration because they force them to pay attention to remember where they last saw the images. Here are colorful and high-quality printable memory cards that your child will enjoy.

4) The Perplexus Rookie

If you’re looking for a great gift idea for a child who need help concentrating, The Perplexus Rookie is the toy for you. It has obstacles that your child must overcome and they must plan ahead and manipulate the sphere with care to achieve the end goal.

Jenga is a classic game that is also a great gift idea for a child struggling with attention. Your child is expected to pull out a block without crashing the stack. This is also a fun game to play as a family but your child can also play by themselves.

6) Hidden Pictures Scratch Art Book

Melissa and Doug’s hidden picture scratch art books are great tools to help boost your child’s concentration power and you have so many options to choose from!

They are also great for developing their hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills.

7) Rory’s Story Cubes

These educational story cubes provide endless opportunities for your child’s imagination and creativity and would also make a perfect gift.

Your child rolls the dice then has to make a story using the pictures from the dice. And the best part is that you have different styles so you’ll be able to find something if your kid is a Harry Potter fan, a “Heroes” fan, a “Mysteries” fan…

8) Pop and catch games

Pop and catch games use movement to help your child focus. They are expected to focus on the ball to catch it before it hits the ground. You can also try this game sitting down if it is too difficult for your child when they first begin.

9) Spot it!

Who doesn’t love Spot It! ? This game is great for helping your child improve their visual attention and learn to disregard distractions. Better still, the entire family will enjoy playing it!

Alternative natural options to help kids focus

1) natural supplements.

While undertaking the research on improving children’s focus and attention, I came across parents who spoke of amazing improvement in their kids’ attention after using natural focus supplements.

Here are a few supplements you can check out. Don’t forget to read the reviews to see what other parents think:

2) Essential oils

Not all essential oils are safe to use with kids. I have spoken in length about the precautions to take when using these oils with kids. That said, certain essential oils, used the right way, can help your kid calm down and can also boost their focus and attention.

If you are already an essential-oil fan or want to try using essential oils to help boost your child’s attentiveness, here are a few ready-made 100% pure blends you can start with:

Remember you can also easily make your own recipes using kid-friendly essential oils.

Should you worry about your child’s inability to focus and concentrate?

Most focus and attention problems in childhood tend to get better as your child grows older and develops their self-control and self-regulation skills.

However, for some parents, child inattention issues are more of a long-term than a short-term challenge. Here are a few of the learning difficulties associated with inattention in children:

ADHD – One of the most common symptoms of ADHD is the inability to regulate one’s attention span. If your child has the inattentive type of ADHD, they are more likely to struggle with focus and concentration.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder – If your child has this disorder, they will be focused on other things that prevent them from paying attention to what is going on around them.

For example, in a classroom situation, such a child may pay more attention to lining up all their pens and pencils on their desk and therefore will appear as a child unable to pay attention.

Other learning disorders – learning disorders mean that your child’s brain doesn’t process information quite in the same way as other children. They are therefore more likely to have trouble with focus because they feel unable to achieve what other kids can.

While they may be viewed as “easily distracted”, their behavior may be an attempt to cover up their frustration and embarrassment at “not being good enough”.

Hearing problems – A child with auditory processing problems may be mistaken for a child lacking focus. If your child cannot hear instructions, it is normal that they will be unable to follow through on those instructions.

Lack of attention and focus has a direct impact on how your child learns and develops. If your child is finding it hard to concentrate, please discuss your concerns with your family doctor who will point you in the right direction.

It may also be helpful to consult with your child’s teacher to better understand their attention and concentration level at school.

When your child won’t focus in school

Unfortunately, your child’s inability to focus in school has a direct impact on what and how they learn. The first step if you are concerned about their trouble with focus is to have a discussion with their teacher. Teachers can provide solutions such as:

• Reduce distractions within the classroom: For example, the teacher can change their sitting position to ensure that they can keep their eye on your child or keep them away from classmates who are likely to distract them (or even away from windows!)
• Ensure that your child has understood instructions before beginning a task
• Provide assistance.

Scientific resources

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17605527

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7805351

http://people.oregonstate.edu/~mcclellm/ms/Ponitz_McClelland_Matthews_Morrison_DP09.pdf

http://www.unco.edu/cebs/psychology/kevinpugh/motivation_project/resources/dweck_leggett88.pdf

https://self-regulationintheclassroom.wikispaces.com/file/view/Perry+mentoring+student+teachers+for+srl.pdf

http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/1994-98882-000https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21898897

<a href=”http://selz.co/4JyaZp-5M” target=”_blank”>Buy now</a>

About Sanya Pelini, Ph.D.

Sanya Pelini holds a Ph.D. in Education. Her work has been published on Motherly, ParentMap, The Goffman Institute and Psych Central, among others. She lives in the south of France with her husband and three children.

Reader Interactions

March 29, 2023 at 11:50 pm

What an excellent array of techniques and suggestions!Thank you!

March 31, 2023 at 7:37 am

Thank you for your lovely comment 🙂

January 27, 2023 at 12:02 pm

January 27, 2023 at 3:13 pm

Thank you 🙂

August 9, 2021 at 3:35 pm

These are so many great ideas in one place. I would like to share in my weekly column (SUPPORTING SUPER STUDENTS) giving parents ideas about how to help their child focus as they prepare their children for school. I cite the source of my information in my column. So, I ask your permission to direct parents to your website. Thank you in advance.

August 9, 2021 at 4:19 pm

Thank you for your lovely comment. I’d be honored to have my article about improving children’s focus and concentration cited in your column 🙂

February 8, 2021 at 11:38 pm

This worked as a nice primer for someone like me who entered a relationship involving kids and silently asking myself why a 8&9 yr old can’t just “act more like adults” knowing that is unfair to them but wanting to better understand myself.

February 15, 2021 at 2:53 pm

This is such a lovely comment – and so true – we often forget that kids aren’t adults. Thank you Michael

March 18, 2020 at 5:23 pm

II thought it was so fun that you suggested playing Simon says with your child since it can help them develop self-regulation, as well as coloring mandalas to help them destress. I am now a stay-at-home mom and want to find ways to interact with and help my 4-year-old grow. I’d love to find a child health book with more activities like these for us to do together.

October 10, 2019 at 11:59 am

Outstanding and revealing….!!! About to go on an adventure with these…already… Thanks a lot.

October 10, 2019 at 4:14 pm

Thanks Ahmad. Glad you appreciate these tips on increasing your child’s focus and concentration 🙂

August 14, 2019 at 4:51 pm

Valuable information

August 17, 2019 at 11:02 pm

I appreciate the comments!

January 6, 2019 at 1:56 am

Thank you very much! My 7 y.o. son has problems concentrating. I will definitely try your suggestions! Again, thank you.

January 6, 2019 at 7:50 pm

So glad you found it helpful 🙂

August 9, 2018 at 1:37 pm

Thanks for sharing such a helpful article. Really story telling is a very effective way to to develop concentration among children.

August 13, 2018 at 7:19 am

Glad you enjoyed it 🙂

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5 ways to help your child focus (based on science!)

by: Carol Lloyd | Updated: October 6, 2022

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Many young children have trouble sitting still and staying focused. Even older kids can sometimes struggle after a long day at school. If you’re having trouble getting your child to start their homework or stay focused at school, try these tips.

Here are some ways to help your child settle down and concentrate:

Get the ya-yas out first (aka exercise), turn off screens and cell phones, make a to-do list, use signals, take breaks., homes nearby.

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Strategies to make homework go more smoothly.

Routines and incentive systems to help kids succeed

Writer: Peg Dawson, EdD, NCSP

Clinical Expert: Peg Dawson, EdD, NCSP

Here is the best guide to helping kids do homework successfully that we’ve seen, published by the National Association of School Psychologists on their website, NASPonline.org . Our thanks to NASP for sharing it with us.

There are two key strategies parents can draw on to reduce homework hassles. The first is to establish clear routines around homework, including when and where homework gets done and setting up daily schedules for homework. The second is to build in rewards or incentives to use with children for whom “good grades” is not a sufficient reward for doing homework.

Homework Routines

Tasks are easiest to accomplish when tied to specific routines. By establishing daily routines for homework completion, you will not only make homework go more smoothly, but you will also be fostering a sense of order your child can apply to later life, including college and work.

Step 1. Find a location in the house where homework will be done. The right location will depend on your child and the culture of your family. Some children do best at a desk in their bedroom. It is a quiet location, away from the hubbub of family noise. Other children become too distracted by the things they keep in their bedroom and do better at a place removed from those distractions, like the dining room table. Some children need to work by themselves. Others need to have parents nearby to help keep them on task and to answer questions when problems arise. Ask your child where the best place is to work. Both you and your child need to discuss pros and cons of different settings to arrive at a mutually agreed upon location.

Step 2. Set up a homework center. Once you and your child have identified a location, fix it up as a home office/homework center. Make sure there is a clear workspace large enough to set out all the materials necessary for completing assignments. Outfit the homework center with the kinds of supplies your child is most likely to need, such as pencils, pens, colored markers, rulers, scissors, a dictionary and thesaurus, graph paper, construction paper, glue and cellophane tape, lined paper, a calculator, spell checker, and, depending on the age and needs of your child, a computer or laptop. If the homework center is a place that will be used for other things (such as the dining room table), then your child can keep the supplies in a portable crate or bin. If possible, the homework center should include a bulletin board that can hold a monthly calendar on which your child can keep track of longterm assignments. Allowing children some leeway in decorating the homework center can help them feel at home there, but you should be careful that it does not become too cluttered with distracting materials.

Step 3. Establish a homework time. Your child should get in the habit of doing homework at the same time every day. The time may vary depending on the individual child. Some children need a break right after school to get some exercise and have a snack. Others need to start homework while they are still in a school mode (i.e., right after school when there is still some momentum left from getting through the day). In general, it may be best to get homework done either before dinner or as early in the evening as the child can tolerate. The later it gets, the more tired the child becomes and the more slowly the homework gets done.

Step 4. Establish a daily homework schedule. In general, at least into middle school, the homework session should begin with your sitting down with your child and drawing up a homework schedule. You should review all the assignments and make sure your child understands them and has all the necessary materials. Ask your child to estimate how long it will take to complete each assignment. Then ask when each assignment will get started. If your child needs help with any assignment , then this should be determined at the beginning so that the start times can take into account parent availability. A Daily Homework Planner is included at the end of this handout and contains a place for identifying when breaks may be taken and what rewards may be earned.

Incentive Systems

Many children who are not motivated by the enjoyment of doing homework are motivated by the high grade they hope to earn as a result of doing a quality job. Thus, the grade is an incentive, motivating the child to do homework with care and in a timely manner. For children who are not motivated by grades, parents will need to look for other rewards to help them get through their nightly chores. Incentive systems fall into two categories: simple and elaborate.

Simple incentive systems. The simplest incentive system is reminding the child of a fun activity to do when homework is done. It may be a favorite television show, a chance to spend some time with a video or computer game, talking on the telephone or instant messaging, or playing a game with a parent. This system of withholding fun things until the drudgery is over is sometimes called Grandma’s Law because grandmothers often use it quite effectively (“First take out the trash, then you can have chocolate chip cookies.”). Having something to look forward to can be a powerful incentive to get the hard work done. When parents remind children of this as they sit down at their desks they may be able to spark the engine that drives the child to stick with the work until it is done.

Elaborate incentive systems. These involve more planning and more work on the part of parents but in some cases are necessary to address more significant homework problems. More complex incentives systems might include a structure for earning points that could be used to “purchase” privileges or rewards or a system that provides greater reward for accomplishing more difficult homework tasks. These systems work best when parents and children together develop them. Giving children input gives them a sense of control and ownership, making the system more likely to succeed. We have found that children are generally realistic in setting goals and deciding on rewards and penalties when they are involved in the decision-making process.

Building in breaks. These are good for the child who cannot quite make it to the end without a small reward en route. When creating the daily homework schedule, it may be useful with these children to identify when they will take their breaks. Some children prefer to take breaks at specific time intervals (every 15 minutes), while others do better when the breaks occur after they finish an activity. If you use this approach, you should discuss with your child how long the breaks will last and what will be done during the breaks (get a snack, call a friend, play one level on a video game). The Daily Homework Planner includes sections where breaks and end-of-homework rewards can be identified.

Building in choice. This can be an effective strategy for parents to use with children who resist homework. Choice can be incorporated into both the order in which the child agrees to complete assignments and the schedule they will follow to get the work done. Building in choice not only helps motivate children but can also reduce power struggles between parents and children.

Developing Incentive Systems

Step 1. Describe the problem behaviors. Parents and children decide which behaviors are causing problems at homework time. For some children putting homework off to the last minute is the problem; for others, it is forgetting materials or neglecting to write down assignments. Still others rush through their work and make careless mistakes, while others dawdle over assignments, taking hours to complete what should take only a few minutes. It is important to be as specific as possible when describing the problem behaviors. The problem behavior should be described as behaviors that can be seen or heard; for instance, complains about h omework or rushes through homework, making many mistakes are better descriptors than has a bad attitude or is lazy.

Step 2. Set a goal. Usually the goal relates directly to the problem behavior. For instance, if not writing down assignments is the problem, the goal might be: “Joe will write down his assignments in his assignment book for every class.”

Step 3. Decide on possible rewards and penalties. Homework incentive systems work best when children have a menu of rewards to choose from, since no single reward will be attractive for long. We recommend a point system in which points can be earned for the goal behaviors and traded in for the reward the child wants to earn. The bigger the reward, the more points the child will need to earn it. The menu should include both larger, more expensive rewards that may take a week or a month to earn and smaller, inexpensive rewards that can be earned daily. It may also be necessary to build penalties into the system. This is usually the loss of a privilege (such as the chance to watch a favorite TV show or the chance to talk on the telephone to a friend).

Once the system is up and running, and if you find your child is earning more penalties than rewards, then the program needs to be revised so that your child can be more successful. Usually when this kind of system fails, we think of it as a design failure rather than the failure of the child to respond to rewards. It may be a good idea if you are having difficulty designing a system that works to consult a specialist, such as a school psychologist or counselor, for assistance.

Step 4. Write a homework contract. The contract should say exactly what the child agrees to do and exactly what the parents’ roles and responsibilities will be. When the contract is in place, it should reduce some of the tension parents and kids often experience around homework. For instance, if part of the contract is that the child will earn a point for not complaining about homework, then if the child does complain, this should not be cause for a battle between parent and child: the child simply does not earn that point. Parents should also be sure to praise their children for following the contract. It will be important for parents to agree to a contract they can live with; that is, avoiding penalties they are either unable or unwilling to impose (e.g., if both parents work and are not at home, they cannot monitor whether a child is beginning homework right after school, so an alternative contract may need to be written).

We have found that it is a rare incentive system that works the first time. Parents should expect to try it out and redesign it to work the kinks out. Eventually, once the child is used to doing the behaviors specified in the contract, the contract can be rewritten to work on another problem behavior. Your child over time may be willing to drop the use of an incentive system altogether. This is often a long-term goal, however, and you should be ready to write a new contract if your child slips back to bad habits once a system is dropped.

Click here to download the homework planner and incentive sheet .

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Ten Homework Motivation Strategies for Children and Teens

Use these 10 strategies to end the homework wars..

Posted September 6, 2015 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

When it comes to homework, parents get burnt out hearing these hollow and suspicious words: "I did it at school," "They didn't give homework today," "It hardly counts for my grade," "My teacher never looks at my homework anyway," "That assignment was optional." As parents, hearing these words is enough to drive you crazy.

As I write in my book, 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child , parents must not let their emotions get the best of them when their kids are not getting homework done. The strategies below are for helping your child or teen get unstuck:

• Nix the nagging! Pestering creates an adversarial, shaming dynamic that backfires. Instead, try my Calm, Firm, and Non-Controlling approach. Gently empower your child or teen by supportively saying, "I see that you are frustrated. Let's think of ways to help you get back on track with your homework/schoolwork."
• Encourage effort over perfection. Be mindful that kids tend to get intimidated when they have a hard time understanding material. They may get into negative self-talk like, "I can't do this." Even if they're truly thinking this way, parents may instead hear comments like, "I hate this." or "This is stupid." Remind your child or teen that doing his best effort is better than not doing it at all.
• Prioritize. Coach and encourage that the order that homework is done based on urgency, complexity, and workload. At the same time, realize that some students do better by starting with easier tasks and that this can help spark them to tackle more demanding assignments.
• Break it down. Reinforce breaking up homework time into manageable chunks and encourage taking regular breaks. Encourage moving around and walking away for a bit. Remind that an apple really does provide the same effect, and is healthier than an energy drink.
• Think "15 minutes of pain." Have the student set a timer for only 15 minutes. Keep it lighthearted and explain that even if it "hurts" doing the work, she can stop after 15 minutes. Like most things in life, once we push ourselves and get going, it's not so bad.
• Don't be consequence ravenous. Imposing consequences for homework not being done can backfire with defiant behavior. If you use consequences, don't present them with yelling. Keep them reasonable and ask the student to help you be able to move towards rewards (don't go overboard) and minimize consequences. Remember that real, natural consequences are the best motivators.
• Encourage connection. Encourage the student to make or re-establish a connection with his teacher. I have seen hundreds of kids "shoot themselves in the foot" with incomplete homework if they don't have a decent relationship with their teacher.
• Change up the homework/study surroundings. Try putting an inspirational poster by the desk, moving to a different room, or silencing the cell phone. New changes can create more changes.
• Use those study halls. Encourage the use of them as much as possible. Some kids lose sight of that more done at school, means less to do at home.
• Allow for some fun. Notice if your student is racing through the homework just to have fun. Fun time like, TV, phone time, or surfing the web, is welcome, but make sure you put limits on it.

Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D. , is a psychologist and the author of seven books, including 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child.

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Don’t Help Your Kids With Homework

Focus on prioritization and process, not the assignment itself.

So much of the homework advice parents are given is theory-based, and therefore not entirely helpful in the chaos of day-to-day life. People are told that students should have “ grit .” They should “ learn from failure .” But it’s hard to know how to implement these ideas when what you really need is to support a kid who has a chemistry test and two papers due in the next 48 hours but seems to be focused only on Instagram.

Some parents manage to guide their kids through these moments with relative ease. Others hire tutors. The large majority of us, however, are stuck at home alone, trying to stave off our own breakdowns in the face of our children’s.

While reprimanding your child for not having started her homework earlier may be your natural instinct, in the midst of stress, it will only make her shut down or lash out. In our experience as teachers, tutors, and parents, the students who feel terrible about procrastinating are more likely to have anxiety and negative feelings that will only fuel their continued procrastination. So instead of admonishing your procrastinator, take a deep breath and try to figure out how she’s going to manage the tasks at hand. Help her make a realistic plan to manage her time. Try to model understanding, even when you’re upset.

Having tolerance for challenges will allow her to approach future frustrations from a more positive perspective. Easier said than done, to be sure, but try to work with your child to identify not only how but why her homework habits are suffering. This understanding will be crucial to helping her transform these habits into more effective ones.

Read: The cult of homework

Because most of us are programmed to focus on present rather than future fulfillment, it’s easy to put off something we dread. Kids who procrastinate almost always do so because they have negative associations with or feelings about a particular task. Unfortunately, avoiding assignments usually lowers students’ self-esteem and makes them dislike the topic that much more, resulting in a vicious cycle of procrastination. Therefore, it’s important both to address why students are procrastinating—what’s upsetting them about the work at hand—and to give them practical tools to manage their time and set priorities.

If you’re worried that your child is the only one in her class who takes ages to get started on her homework, fear not. Students in our classes—and our own kids too, just like many of us adults—have found every which way to put off sitting down to tackle the one thing they know they need to get done. There are all kinds of reasons kids avoid doing their homework. Maybe they’re concerned about what a teacher will think, or that their work won’t measure up to a friend’s. Maybe they’re distracted by something that happened in school that day.

Whatever the case may be, the first step here is determining out what’s stressing your child out in the first place.

If your child fears what her teacher will think if she makes mistakes: She should start off by independently reviewing the material that she feels unsure of, and then reach out to her teacher for further help if she needs it. Assure her that asking questions and making an effort are important to her teacher. Take it from us: Teachers see questions as a sign of an engaged, conscientious, and curious student. No matter the teacher’s temperament or reputation, she will respond positively to your child coming to her with sincere questions and hard work.

If your child fears parental judgment due to bad grades: Remember that although high marks may be important to you, focusing on process and effort is key to your child’s success, not to mention that putting too much pressure on her can lead to resentment. Help your child create a process she can rely on for her work. Better effort will help your child engage with the material and yield better results in the long run.

If your child fears her best friend’s judgment: Start by encouraging your child not to discuss grades with her friends. Middle schoolers in particular tend to share their marks with one another, and it usually just makes kids feel lousy. The “What did you get?” question is tough for all students, especially in the middle grades, when they are looking for affirmation from their peers. Your child’s grades are no one else’s business. While her best friend may do well in history, he may have more trouble with math than your child does. Or maybe he seems great at everything now, but he actually struggles in art class, and in the future he’ll be a terrible driver or have an awkward first date. In other words, we all have subjects—or areas of our lives—that come more or less easily than others. Challenges are inevitable. What matters most is how we approach them.

If your child fears she isn’t capable: First acknowledge how painful this feeling must be. Then reassure her that she is capable and give concrete anecdotes so she doesn’t roll her eyes. Share with her a moment when you thought you couldn’t do something, but you learned to conquer the task. And be honest! Your kid will know that you didn’t really wrestle that champion alligator. Emphasize the importance of determination, effort, and persistence in whichever example of your successes you choose to share.

If your child is exhausted: Prioritize only what’s really essential. Try to help your child go to bed earlier. She can always wake up early to complete smaller assignments if need be. Getting major work done while exhausted is a losing battle for everyone. Help her plan ahead. Create a schedule for completing small portions of a larger assignment over the course of several days or weeks to make overwhelming work seem more manageable.

Read: My daughter’s homework is killing me

Once you figure out what’s driving your child’s procrastination, you can strategize with her about logistics. Start by removing temptation when possible. Of course she’d rather see where her friends went this afternoon than stare at a blinking cursor, and if all it takes is a simple click or swipe for your child to access social media, it’s going to take her eons to finish an assignment. It will be almost impossible for her to develop an argument that flows if she’s tempted by her phone. So all possible impediments to success should be removed. Disabling social-media and messaging apps and having a conversation about the purpose of setting technology limits is an important first step. Putting her phone aside will also help her compartmentalize time so that she can get her work done more thoroughly and then have free time afterward. Technological boundaries may lead to major pushback—especially now, when kids rely on technology for most forms of socializing—but this temporary misery is undoubtedly worth it in the long run.

And emphasize that short-term pleasure equals long-term pain. Empathize with children who do not want to do something that’s hard. Then remind them that the immediate instinct to procrastinate and play video games will make life miserable later. While they may resist and grumble, helping establish rules will ultimately prevent suffering tonight, tomorrow, and next week. Kids thrive in the comfort, reliability, and safety of a structured, focused work environment. It’s never easy, but on evenings when you want to tear your hair out because your child won’t sit down to work, reinforce the message that short-term gratification will only get in the way of long-term goals.

Finally, explain the relevance of the assignment. If kids don’t understand why they’re doing the work, they’re more likely to be frustrated. For example, your child might ask, “Why do I need to know algebra? I’ll never use it when I’m older.” You can tell the truth: “You probably won’t need to know about variables in everyday life, but learning algebra will give you a framework for understanding how to break down and solve complex tasks down the road.”

Learning to work independently, without a teacher’s direct counsel, is key to building academic and personal autonomy. So when your child is overwhelmed, help her figure out why, and then model strategies that foster independence, confidence, and well-being.

This piece is adapted from Freireich and Platzer’s new book, Taking the Stress out of Homework . Every Tuesday, they answer education-related questions . Have one? Email them at [email protected].

Home / Expert Articles / Child Behavior Problems / School & Homework

10 Ways to Motivate Your Child to Do Better in School

By debbie pincus, ms lmhc.

How do you motivate a child who doesn’t seem to want to do his school work?

As parents, we are invested in our child’s academic life because we know how important it is for their future. Unfortunately, our kids don’t always seem to share our concern about their future. We know this because they continue to prioritize watching YouTube, gaming, and hanging out with their friends over their school work.

Why aren’t our kids motivated to do well in school? After all, it’s in their self-interest to do well. Why don’t they want to succeed as much as we want them to succeed?

Here’s the problem. School is an aspect of life that requires discipline and work, and kids need to learn to buy into the value of doing well. Your child must own the importance of doing well himself. Motivation can’t be forced. And if you try to force your child to be motivated, it almost always makes things worse.

Nevertheless, there are positive steps that you can take to help your child motivate himself to do better in school. Most of these steps involve setting up a structure to enable him to have better discipline and follow-through. This structure improves your child’s chance of success, and the taste of success is often what drives motivation.

In my work with parents and kids over the years, I have found the following 10 tips to help put your child in the best position to succeed and be motivated in school.

1. Stay Positive

Keep a relationship with your child that is open, respectful, and positive. Remind yourself that you and your child are on the same team. This will allow you to be influential, which is your most important parenting tool.

Punishing, preaching, and threatening will get you nowhere and will be detrimental to your relationship and their motivation. Your feelings of anxiety, frustration, and fear are normal and understandable. But reacting to your kids out of these emotions is ineffective and makes things worse.

Remember, your child is not behaving this way on purpose to make your life miserable. When you feel yourself getting worked up, try saying to yourself, “My child is just not there yet.”

And remind yourself that your job is to help him learn how to be responsible. If you get negative and make this a moral issue, then your child might become defiant, reacting to you instead of thinking through things himself.

2. Incorporate the “When You” Rule

One of life’s lessons is that we get paid after we do the work. So start saying things like:

“When you finish studying, you are welcome to go to your friend’s house.”

“When your homework is completed, we can discuss watching that movie you wanted to see on Netflix.”

Enforce this rule and stick to it. If your child does not yet have the necessary discipline, this will help to create it.

Indeed, by enforcing the “when you” rule, you are helping her learn how to do what her brain is not yet equipped to do, which is to be disciplined and to delay gratification.

3. Create Structure for Your Child

If your child is not studying and his grades are dropping, you have a right to get involved, whether he wants you there or not. Again, you’re not there to do the work for him. Instead, you are there to help set up the structure that he cannot create for himself.

The structure might include scheduled study times, having the computer out in a public place in your home, and saying, “No video games or electronics until after your homework is done.”

You might decide that he must devote a certain amount of hours to study time. During this time, no electronics or other distractions are allowed. You might make the rule that even if he finishes all his homework, he must complete study time by reviewing, reading, or editing.

Some kids do better listening to music while they study, and that’s okay. But keep in mind that this can be tricky because their music is usually integrated with their phones. This means YouTube, Twitter, Reddit, and instant messaging will all be at their fingertips.

If you can’t effectively keep them off those apps, then no phone and no music until their work is done. Just say:

“You can listen to music when you finish your homework.”

Think of it this way: schools don’t allow phones in class, and neither should you.

Understand that this structure is not a punishment. Rather, it is a way to help him to develop a good work ethic and to focus on his school subjects.

4. Meet With the Teacher

If your child’s grades and work habits are not up to par, you can set up a plan by sitting down with him and his teachers.

Have your child check with his teacher each day before coming home to ensure that he has all his homework assignments.

Also, you can ask him each morning to ensure that he brings his homework back to school. For me, nothing was more frustrating than my son doing his homework but then forgetting to bring it to school.

Once your child gets better at managing his time, completing his work, and getting organized, then it’s time for you to back off. Let him do it on his own. Only step in if he is consistently having a problem.

5. Identify a Study Spot

Your child may need a quiet location away from brothers and sisters to study. Or she may do better in a room near others. You can help her experiment, but once you find what works best, keep her in that location.

To keep your child focused, you may need to sit with her while she does her homework. You can read a book or newspaper while she works. At a minimum, be nearby to help ensure that she stays on track.

It’s okay to help her with her homework if she is stuck, but don’t do her work for her. For example, it’s okay to review her work and ask her if a certain paragraph makes sense to her. But it’s not okay to write every sentence or work on every math problem with her. Give just enough help to get her over the hump. Remember, learning how to struggle through difficult material is one of the skills your child needs to learn.

6. Break Assignments Into Manageable Pieces

Decide together whether you need to help him break down his assignments into smaller pieces and organize on a calendar what he should get done each day.

You can get him a big wall calendar or a whiteboard. It could be electronic if that is preferable, but I prefer written tools because electronics can be distracting.

7. Be Firm and Consistent with Homework Rules

You want to be positive and helpful to your child. At the same time, though, you have to be firm. You have to consistently enforce the rules you establish.

Being firm and consistent sends the message to your child that you know he can succeed.

Being firm also means that you enforce the rules with effective consequences. If he doesn’t follow the rules you set up, apply the consequences. And don’t try to shield him from the natural consequences of not doing his work, even if that means bad or failing grades.

In being firm, stay positive. For every negative interaction with your child, try to create ten positive ones. Try to put the focus on supporting and encouraging him instead of worrying and nagging.

And don’t take his performance personally. When you start to believe his grades are a reflection of you or your parenting, then you will be on his case, and it will make things worse.

8. Be Aware of His Anxiety Level

Recognize that much of your child’s lack of motivation (or what looks like irresponsibility) might be his anxiety or shame about academics and schoolwork. Kids may not be able to explain all of this to you because it’s not always on a conscious level for them.

Anxiety can be misinterpreted as a lousy attitude, lack of motivation, and irresponsibility. Often, the cover-up for these vulnerable emotions can take the form of acting out, shutting down, avoidance, or defiance.

While a little anxiety can motivate, too much blocks your child’s ability to think and to have access to the part of the brain that helps him with motivation.

Keep your emotions in check by recognizing that it may be your child’s anxiety at play rather than his laziness. Calmly help to give him a better structure to get his work done, and it will help reduce his anxiety.

And remember that what is happening now may look very different as your child matures and develops.

9. Don’t Over-Function For Your Child

It’s nerve-wracking and frustrating to see your child struggle and not meet his potential. You may feel that your child’s lack of motivation is a poor reflection on your parenting. In response, you react and shift into overdrive to get your child to succeed so that your feelings of shame, embarrassment, failure, or fear go away.

In the process, you may be tempted to over-function by helping to complete his work for him. But don’t do it. Resist the temptation. The more you over-function for your child, the more he will react to your anxiety, which causes things to go further and further downhill. Just set up the structure to help him succeed, but let him do the work and bear the consequences, good or bad.

Be your child’s coach. Set the strategy and give direction, but stay on the sidelines and let your child play the game—Root for him to win and praise him when he does. But don’t be afraid to let him fail. It’s all part of growing up and learning to take responsibility.

10. Don’t Obsess About the Future

When your child seems to have no interest in his life, it’s easy to start fast-forwarding into the future. When he acts like he doesn’t care about anything except video games and his friends, you worry that he won’t be successful or even function on his own. This heightens your anxiety and fear.

But none of us have a crystal ball or can see into the future. Focusing on the negative things your child is doing will only bring the spotlight on them and may set you both up for a power struggle. Instead, focus on your child’s positive traits and help him work on those in the present.

Is he outgoing? Helpful? A good cook? Good with cars or electronics? Focus on all the things that go into a developed, successful person, not just academics and grades. Help your child develop in social, creative, and emotional ways. Remember to always keep the big picture in mind.

For all of these tips, start from where your child is. What I mean is that, in many cases, your child may have a long way to go, and you don’t want to overwhelm him by trying to work on too many issues at once.

Expect that your child won’t like the structure at first, but he will get used to it. Be patient. Don’t expect improvement overnight, but don’t underestimate your child either. Be confident that he will come around and will improve with the structures you have put in place.

Related content: Sinking Fast at School: How to Help Your Child Stay Afloat “My Child Refuses to Do Homework” — How to Stop the Nightly Struggle Over School Work

About Debbie Pincus, MS LMHC

For more than 25 years, Debbie has offered compassionate and effective therapy and coaching, helping individuals, couples and parents to heal themselves and their relationships. Debbie is the creator of the Calm Parent AM & PM™ program and is also the author of numerous books for young people on interpersonal relations.

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Mom of Senior Although these comments are great, currently all homework is online for my highschool senior. during the pandemic, all of his school was online, and now, he's in a brick and mortor school for the first time since 9th grade. i think encouraging kids to seek friends at this point is More helpful, but it has to be on his terms. i haven't heard of many other parents with kids in this situation, but i do believe we aren't the only ones at a new school for senior year. the other situation is how much my senior dislikes school. he hates the entire structure of the school day, and feels there's no opportunity to truly learn when forced to cram everything into a 45 minute class period. we struggle often, with all of this.

BW RC I agree with you.

Parents most definitely need to stay involved in making sure their kids are on track academically. Here are some tips, parent to parent, from someone who has raised kids who have had success in school:

(1) Understand each of your child's capabilities and set expectations at home. Keep in mind that every child is different and outcomes will vary. The one commonality is that every child needs to achieve to the best of his/her own ability. Establishing work ethic is key in the early academic years.

(2) Help your child with organizational tools. Many kids struggle early on because they miss due dates or don't know how to manage their time because of poor organization. Buy them agendas to write down assignments and talk to them at the beginning of each week about upcoming tests and projects.

(3) Create a quiet, stress-free environment at home where kids can focus without distraction.

(4) Self esteem and confidence are extremely important. Always try to focus on positive reinforcement rather than taking a punitive approach. Verbally acknowledge improvements, even if the grade isn't where you would like it to be. If a child scores a low C on a test one week, and brings it up to a mid C the next, focus on the improvement, not on the disappointment that the grade isn't an A.

(5) Teach your child to communicate directly with his/her teachers and take advantage of study halls and other opportunities to seek instruction. Only get involved directly if all other avenues have been exhausted.

RC These suggestions are great for those with children, who have little defiance and will react to consequences, by changing their behavior. But, for our kid, nothing seems to work, either positive or negative. Unfortunately, I find this information much too basic and general. We’ve tried all of this and nothing More has stuck. The only suggestion I can see as potentially beneficial is number nine. Focus on what the kid is good at and hope for the best. But, until kids can stop lying to everyone, especially themselves, it’s all for nothing...

Responses to questions posted on EmpoweringParents.com are not intended to replace qualified medical or mental health assessments. We cannot diagnose disorders or offer recommendations on which treatment plan is best for your family. Please seek the support of local resources as needed. If you need immediate assistance, or if you and your family are in crisis, please contact a qualified mental health provider in your area, or contact your statewide crisis hotline.

We value your opinions and encourage you to add your comments to this discussion. We ask that you refrain from discussing topics of a political or religious nature. Unfortunately, it's not possible for us to respond to every question posted on our website.

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How to Concentrate on Your Homework

Last Updated: May 6, 2024 References

This article was co-authored by Josh Jones and by wikiHow staff writer, Megaera Lorenz, PhD . Josh Jones is the CEO and Founder of Test Prep Unlimited, a GMAT prep tutoring service. Josh built the world's first and only score guarantee program for private GMAT tutoring. He has presented at the QS World MBA Tour and designed math curricula for Chicago Public Schools. He has over 15 years of private tutoring and classroom teaching experience and a BA in Math from the University of Chicago. There are 15 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 434,220 times.

Focusing on homework can be tough, especially when you’d rather be doing anything else. Maybe your attention keeps wandering back to your phone, your stomach is growling, or you just want to put your head down and take a nap. The good news is that you can beat these distractions and get back on track with a few easy changes to your study routine.

Move around or stretch while you work.

• Try sitting on an exercise ball or wobbly chair when you’re doing your homework. The movement may help you stay focused.

Fuel up with water and healthy snacks.

• Apple slices with peanut butter
• Nuts, especially almonds
• Greek yogurt
• Fruit salad
• Dark chocolate

Put away anything that might make it hard to concentrate.

• Some people actually concentrate better with a little noise in the background. If it helps you to have some quiet music on, that’s totally fine! But if you find that it distracts you, turn it off.

Block distracting apps and websites on your computer or tablet.

• For example, you might need to block apps or websites like Facebook or YouTube while you’re working.
• If you get alerts or notifications on your device, turn them off so they won’t distract you. The last thing you need is your tablet blowing up with Facebook notifications while you’re trying to work!

Work on one assignment at a time.

• Don’t try to text your friends or have a conversation with a family member while you’re doing homework, either.

Break your assignments into smaller tasks.

• For example, if you’re supposed to read a book chapter and write a report, start by skimming the chapter headings for important points. Then, read the whole chapter and take notes. Next, make an outline for your report. After that, write the report, and finish up by checking it for mistakes.
• If you have more than one assignment to work on, make a to-do list and put the hardest or most important projects first.

Redirect your attention if you notice your mind wandering.

• It can help to pick a specific thing to focus on to bring yourself back to the present. For example, pay attention to your breathing or to any sounds you can hear around you.
• If you’re working with a friend or family member, ask them to help you stay on track. They can say something like, “Are you focused?” or tap you on the shoulder if they notice you getting distracted. [9] X Trustworthy Source Understood Nonprofit organization dedicated to resources and support to people with thinking differences, such as ADHD or dyslexia Go to source

Fidget with something to help you focus.

• Fidgets are great concentration aids for some people, but are distracting for others. Don’t keep using a fidget if it’s taking your mind off your work.

Turn your homework into a game to make it more fun.

• You can also turn it into a game with a friend or family member. For example, take turns quizzing each other and give points for each right answer. Whoever gets the most points wins the game.
• Or, if you’d rather not play a structured game, try making up a story about what you’re doing. For instance, if you’re studying history, imagine yourself living in the time period you’re learning about.

Try working with a study buddy.

• You could even get together with a small group. Trade notes, quiz each other, or just hang out quietly while you all do homework together.

Take a break at least once an hour.

• You can also use a timer to make sure your breaks don’t go on too long. Remember, the sooner you get back to work, the sooner you can get it done!
• If you’re feeling really restless, frustrated, or distracted, it’s okay to take a break ahead of schedule. Give yourself a few minutes to unwind, then try again.

Pick a time when you feel awake and rested if possible.

• Make it a routine to do your homework at the same time each day. For example, if you’re an evening person, try doing it right after supper every night. [16] X Research source Having a schedule will make your work feel less overwhelming.
• You can’t always choose the perfect time to do your homework, but having a routine can still help you get in the zone when it’s time to work! Once you pick a time, try to stick to it.

Study in a quiet, comfortable spot.

• If you’re studying at home with your family, ask them to keep it down while you work.
• Be careful studying in your room—if you use a space where you usually sleep or relax, it’ll be hard to get into homework mode! Set aside a spot just for homework, and don’t do your work in bed. [18] X Research source
• Finding a good study space can be tough, especially if there are other people around. If you can’t find a quiet spot, put on some noise-canceling headphones. Listen to white noise or peaceful music without vocals to help you tune out background sounds.

Organize your study supplies.

• If you like to nibble while you study, set your snacks out before you get started.
• If there’s stuff in your study space that you don’t need, take a few minutes to clean it up or put it away before you start working. Put completed assignments in their folders and throw away any trash.

Move to a new study spot if you’re feeling bored.

• Even changing your usual study space a little can help. For example, put up some new decorations or move to the other side of the dining table.
• It seems weird, but just the right amount of background noise can actually help you concentrate! That’s one reason some people work better in coffee shops or study halls.

Reward yourself with something fun when you’re done.

• For example, you could watch an episode of your favorite TV show, play a game you like, or call up a friend.

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• Try mindful meditation to help you focus and relax. [21] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source Look for mindful meditation videos online or use an app like Calm or Smiling Mind to help you practice. The more you practice, the easier it’ll be to use your mindfulness skills when you need them—like when you’re doing homework. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

Tips from our Readers

• Take detailed notes in class to help you. If you are able to, type on the computer rather than handwrite (it won't make your hand ache, and it's faster, so long as you don't get distracted). Also, don't wear your most casual clothes for homework, as this will relax you and will make you focus less. Don't look at how much more you have to do; look at what you've done already, as this will make your assignments seem less daunting.
• I used to have some trouble focusing on homework because I would always try to watch YouTube while doing it. It helped me to set a timer for 20 or so minutes and work on homework. Then I would take a 10 minute break. It helped me do homework without frying my brain.
• When rewarding yourself, don't reward yourself with television or games. Sometimes it'll turn into procrastination. Instead, reward yourself with small stretches or a favorite snack.
• If you need to use the bathroom or anything while you are working, assign a number of questions that you have to finish to use the bathroom. This will make you want to work harder!
• Put your phone on airplane mode. This will mute your phone and you will have to manually put it back to regular mode. Only switch it off when you're done with all your work.
• If you have something that you seriously don't want to do, take small 5-minute breaks between steps. This will calm your stress and help you concentrate more.

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://learningcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/movement-and-learning/
• ↑ https://www.sacap.edu.za/blog/applied-psychology/how-to-concentrate-on-studies/
• ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/focused.html
• ↑ https://www.commonsense.org/education/articles/5-ways-to-help-students-manage-digital-distractions-and-stay-on-track
• ↑ https://today.uconn.edu/2015/07/multitasking-increases-study-time-lowers-grades/#
• ↑ https://www.pbs.org/parents/thrive/tips-for-helping-your-child-focus-and-concentrate
• ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_focus_a_wandering_mind
• ↑ https://www.understood.org/en/learning-thinking-differences/child-learning-disabilities/add-adhd/how-to-improve-focus-in-kids
• ↑ https://www.understood.org/en/learning-thinking-differences/child-learning-disabilities/distractibility-inattention/child-trouble-focusing
• ↑ https://www.oxford-royale.com/articles/10-ways-fun-study/
• ↑ https://www.washburn.edu/academics/center-student-success/student-success-collaborative/Navigate-Study-Buddies.pdf
• ↑ https://time.com/3518053/perfect-break/
• ↑ https://www.uindy.edu/studentcounseling/files/studyingfromhomeduringcoronavirusdukekunshanu.pdf
• ↑ https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210114-why-youre-more-creative-in-coffee-shops
• ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_practice_mindfulness_throughout_your_work_day

About This Article

To concentrate on your homework, start by settling into a quiet place and putting your phone away so it's not a distraction. Then, tackle your hardest or most time-consuming homework assignments first to get them out of the way. Try to finish each task before moving onto something else since jumping between assignments can disrupt your focus. Also, take 5-minute breaks every 30 minutes so your homework doesn't feel endless and you have something to look forward to. To learn how to stay motivated while doing your homework, scroll down! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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Five tips to get kids to focus on homework

When my daughter began the routines of first grade and its attendant homework assignments last fall, my husband and I girded ourselves for this new thing to work into our scrambled evenings. Assigned on Monday, due back on Friday, supposed to be completed by doing 10 minutes a night. Reasonable enough, right?

We celebrated her efforts and her commitment to homework, for, after all, she’s being raised in the era of “ NurtureShock .” But as the weeks went on, I was feeling increasingly inept at steering her back on track when she started doodling or lying down on her chair. When sitting still was the last thing she wanted to do after a day cooped up inside. When her little sister was noisily, happily, inviting her to build a fort.

There had to be a better way than this tug-of-war that frustrated everyone. So I talked with a few teachers, study-skills educators and a school counselor, and I asked them how to get an elementary school-age kid to focus on her homework (and maybe her piano practice, too). Here’s what they said:

1) Talk to the teacher . Huh? My daughter was getting her homework done, so why bug the teacher, I thought. However, if things are always turned in on time and correct, the teacher won’t know how long it really takes and how challenging it is for kids, says Amy McCready, the founder of  PositiveParentingSolutions.com . Ask teachers: How long should homework take? (And let them know how long it’s taking your child.) What is the goal of homework? Is it “completion, learning, grading, a hoop to jump through?” asks Mark Wallace, who teaches third through fifth graders at Highlands Elementary in Edina, Minn. Is it okay for parents to check homework so that kids can fix any mistakes before turning it in, or do teachers want to see those mistakes so they can get an accurate sense of how well kids are understanding the lesson? If your above-grade-level kid breezes through five math problems, does she really need to do all of them? Finally, be clear with the teacher that in your house …

2) … Your kid’s homework is her responsibility, not the parents’ responsibility . This one took me a little bit to buy into. It’s a big leap of faith to let kids choose how to manage their time, and to allow them to face the consequences if they don’t. The corollary is establishing the new ground rules for how you help up front so you can support them while letting them work independently. McCready coached me through making this change: “Sit down ahead of time and talk about the assignment: ‘How do you think you’ll go about answering these questions?’ Then you can say, ‘Sounds like you’re on the right track,’” leave them to work uninterrupted and then check their work when they’re done. McCready also recommends being clear about your boundaries, for example, “I am available to help you after dinner from 6:30 to 8 p.m.. After that, the help desk is closed,” and reminding them that help desk hours and bedtime don’t get extended just because they didn’t get their work done yet. If getting started is the biggest hurdle, “start out by giving them a choice,” suggests Susan Kruger, the president of SOAR Learning , a study skills company based in Lake Orion, Mich. “‘Would you like to do it now or in 10 minutes from now?’… It puts them in a position of feeling they have some say, and that goes a long way of getting cooperation with homework.”

3) Set a timer … and take a break. Time management is hard, especially for kids who are just learning to tell time. Many of the experts I spoke with encouraged using timers. McCready likes ones that help kids visualize how much time is left, such as Timetimer . You can use timers for the scenario Kruger describes. “When you work in small increments — uninterrupted focused time, with breaks in between — you’re able to get more done,” says Zac Stowell, a fifth grade teacher at Northgate Elementary in Seattle. Breaks might include a snack, but ones with physical activity are good, too: a set of jumping jacks, a walk up the street, running up and down the stairs. And if the break is dragging on too long, Stowell says, “you let them know, ‘The more we extend it, the less time we have to do other fun stuff.’”

4) It’s okay to fail. Homework anxiety affects kids and parents, and so does this mantra. “Early elementary school, that’s a really safe time to fail,” says Wallace. If kids don’t get their homework done, he says, “I’d like them to walk in and say, ‘Here’s my plan for finishing it, and here’s my plan for next week.’” There may be all kinds of things you’d like kids to improve upon when you’re looking at their homework, from not bringing it home all crumpled to using capital letters, punctuation and proper spelling, he says. “I always tell parents, ‘Pick one thing that you’re going to go after that night.’” When kids feel overwhelmed by criticism, they tend to shut down, just like adults. To boost their spirits when they get into the “I’ll never get it/I’m no good/It’s too hard” doldrums, point out all the things they used to find hard that are now easy, such as tying their shoes, says Gerry Rice, a Suzuki violin and viola teacher in Haddonfield, N.J.

5) Get help. If homework is still a struggle or taking longer than the teacher expects, get an outside perspective and find out what’s going on. “You can get a neighbor kid who’s four or more years older who can sit down with them to do homework” or swap kids with a neighbor, Kruger says. In other cases, she says, consider a tutor or other professional to uncover what’s behind some learning challenges. Kids are all different, and so are their optimal learning styles and study environments, and parents can help by shaping homework settings to meet their needs. As you’re feeling your way, remember, “we want our students to make mistakes,” Kruger says. “It’s the only way they’re going to be able to innovate and adapt to the world and the way the world changes.”

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ADHD and Homework: How To Get Kids To Focus

Home » Parent Press » Parenting Hacks » Academics » ADHD and Homework: How To Get Kids To Focus

It’s that time of day again: your child has returned home from school, tossed their backpack on the table, and wandered off to do whatever strikes their fancy. Homework has again gone forgotten. So how do you get kids to focus? It’s no surprise that children with ADHD struggle with homework. All children do! They’re tired after a long day of learning new things and being exposed to a lot of overstimulation. That said, someone has to do the homework eventually, so you need to get your child on track. ADHD and homework do not have to be an impossible combination. We’re here to help you and your child out. Read on to learn all about strategies to help with homework completion (or even getting started) for children with ADHD. 

Table of Contents

Help Kids Focus With Reminder Tools

Some children (with or without ADHD) will try to hide their homework or just forget they have it. Children with ADHD often struggle with the idea of consequences, so they may not remember that hiding their homework will result in lower grades, or that if they don’t act on homework soon, they might really forget later

Give Kids the Same Tools You Give Yourself

You probably use a reminder app on your phone or your calendar to keep up with life. Give kids the same ability with an app or paper planner. We recommend going digital, of course. Use screens in a healthy way with Goally – we even provide a distraction-free device so kids can focus on schedules, checklists, and reminders.

Goally | The Safest Tablet for Kids

Checks and Balances

With so many schools putting schoolwork and grades online, it’s easier than ever for parents to check and make sure that their children actually brought their work home with them. Set a reminder in your own phone to check. If you see homework on your child’s schedule, ask about it. Ask your child about their work. If they claim not to have anything, check online to verify. 

Help Kids Focus With Routine

Establishing a consistent schedule for your child’s work is crucial for improving their focus and productivity. Children thrive when they have structured routines , even if they occasionally resist them. The optimal time for your child to do their work may vary depending on their individual needs and preferences.

For some children, it’s beneficial to allow them some downtime after school to unwind. Engaging in physical activities or taking a brief nap can help them recharge before diving into their assignments. If you’ve been encountering challenges with ADHD and homework refusal, try pushing the homework time back by an hour to provide your child with an opportunity to decompress and transition smoothly into their work.

Create a Special Work Area

It’s tough for any kid to focus on their homework when they’re working from home, what with all the tempting distractions nearby. But for children with ADHD, these distractions can feel like a total nightmare. From pets to toys to TVs, anything can steal their attention away from their work in an instant.

To help your child stay on track, consider setting up a designated homework space that’s free of distractions. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy – just a small desk or table with a few supplies will do. This can help your child get into “work mode” and stay focused during homework time.

When choosing a spot for the workstation, aim for somewhere quiet and free of distractions. Loud noises or visual distractions can easily derail your child’s concentration, so try to avoid setting up near windows that face a busy street or playground.

Stay Nearby

It’s always best for parents to stay near their children when they’re doing their homework. For children with ADHD, it’s extra important. First, your child might need help. If your child knows that you’re nearby, they’ll feel more confident calling out to you for help instead of just skipping the homework assignment. When you’re nearby, you can also keep an eye on your child to make sure that they’re staying on-task. If you notice that your child is starting to wander, you can intervene. 

Schedule Breaks (if Necessary)

Speaking of intervention, intervening doesn’t mean that you make your child start working again. They do have to finish their homework, but it might be better for them to have a short break if they’ve been struggling for a long time. Taking breaks can increase your child’s focus . If they’re working on something too challenging, a short break can be enough to give them the burst of energy that they need to keep going. We recommend 15 minutes or less of break time. Try to get your child to do something physical, like a brief walk outside or a short game of hopscotch. 

Helpful Supplies for Homework Time

All of your child’s supplies should be available to them at their “work station.” But what do they need? First, make sure that they have all standard school supplies. Pencils, crayons, erasers, pens, and anything else that you would have bought for them at the beginning of the year should be nearby.

It’s a good idea to have several labeled document bins or folders where your child can place homework that they’ve finished and homework that they haven’t started yet. This can keep your child more organized. We recommend having a few “extras” that can help your child stay on task. If your child does well with fidget toys, slime, or movement items (like a yoga ball, for example), include those things in the child’s work area. 

Using a Reward System

We all know that homework can be a real drag for kids. If you’re trying to keep your child motivated and engaged, consider starting a reward system. After all, let’s face it – homework is just plain boring! One effective approach is to make “homework time” a regular part of your child’s schedule, and offer rewards for finishing on time or completing assignments early. Kids focus is often motivated by the promise of rewards, so this can be a great way to keep them on track.

And if you’re looking for an easy way to track your child’s progress, check out Goally. With its built-in timer, you can keep tabs on how long your child is spending on each task. After that, you can reward them accordingly when they hit their goals.

Try Goally For Your Child With ADHD

Goally helps kids with ADHD stay focused and build skills. Unlike a Kindle or an iPad that kids get easily distracted on, Goally has no YouTube, no social media, no web browser, and especially no ads.

Goally uses game play as a points-based motivator for your kiddo with ADHD and helps them learn emotional regulation skills. It’s simple to set up and has an expert-informed design.

ADHD and Homework: Your Child Can Focus With the Right Tools

ADHD and homework might seem like an impossible combination, but with the right strategies and tools, your child will coast through all of their homework with ease.  Mix and match these ADHD and homework tips and see your child start to thrive! Are you looking for something new to add to your neurodivergent child’s toolbox? Get Goally! Goally can help your child establish and follow a routine and you can reward them for it! Your child gets access to behavior tracking, visual scheduling, and more. Check out our pricing plan or try a free demo today. We know that you’ll love it.

FAQs About How To Get Kids To Focus

This post was originally published on 02/17/2022. It was updated on 02/02/2024.

We help parents teach their kids life skills, like doing bedtime and morning independently. Backed by science, we incorporate evidence-based practices and expert-informed designs in all of our apps and content.

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The Best Way to Get Your Kids to Actually Listen

A ll the different parenting schools of thought ( gentle parenting , attachment, etc.) tackle the age-old dilemma of how to get your kids to listen and follow your directions. Turns out, a simple language adjustment might be the key you need to turn a kid who defies into a kid who complies. Declarative language—using statements of fact instead of commands—can be the game changer you need to get out the door, get the homework done, and make your home more peaceful.

Declare, not command

We spend our lives as parents being the boss of our kids, telling them where to go, what to do, and when to do it. This type of communication “does not foster relationship development,” says Linda K. Murphy, author of Declarative Language Handbook: Using a Thoughtful Language Style to Help Kids With Social Learning Challenges Feel Competent, Connected, and Understood and declarativelanguage.com . However, she says, “Declarative language shares information without placing demands. It may share information related to an observation, a memory, a plan, an idea, a feeling, or an opinion.”

Some examples of declarations that might lead your child to take action include:

• Observation: The dog looks hungry. (Instead of, “Feed the dog.”)
• Memory: I remember that you had a math test today. I’d love to hear how it went. (Instead of, “Tell me about your test.”)
• Plan: It’s time to leave for school. (Instead of, “Get in the car” or “Go to the bus stop.”)
• Idea: I think it would be fun to go to ride bikes right now. (Instead of, “Go outside and ride your bike for a bit.”)
• Feeling: Your sister looks sad after being yelled at by you. She might want a hug or an apology. (Instead of, “Say you’re sorry.”)
• Opinion: It is cold out today! Let’s get your coat so you stay warm. (Instead of “You need to wear your coat.”)

Declarations work better than commands for a few reasons. “There’s volition and ownership,” says parent coach and psychiatrist, Jess Beachkofsky . She says declarative language “can lead kids (or anyone, really) to make a choice or do a thing because they want to and not because they’re told to.” She says, unlike clear commands like, “Do this, NOW, or else,” which “can reflexively put people on the defensive, declarative language leaves an opening for collaboration and cooperation.” If kids know they can get it “wrong” and still have another chance for success, they’re more likely to try.

In addition to the open-endedness, declarative language takes the “blame” off of the parent, should the child not want to comply. Beachkofsky says to “Use (declarative language) as a teaching point for cause and effect .” Instead of a kid getting mad at their mom because she said, “Do your homework,” the “fault” is on an external force, such as time, when you turn it into a declarative sentence. For example, “I’m worried you may run out of time if you don’t start your homework soon.” The mom isn’t making the kid do homework for the sake of complying, the homework has to be done before the due date, bedtime, or dinnertime. Murphy says that since “declarative language is also the language we use to build connections and form relationships with others,” this communication style, “creates a positive learning environment that is empowering and connecting at the same time.”

Some simple language adjustments

Murphy says making the adjustment to declarative language starts with you noticing how often you command your child. Then, “try picking one context where you do not feel rushed and will have the time you need to try something different.” You’ll need to give yourself time to practice and get the phrasing right. Beachkofsky says, “It may feel like it’s really wishy-washy and takes more time than just saying, ‘get your bag and get in the car!’ but when you have the bandwidth to do so, take a deep breath and spend a few extra moments sharing what’s going on or offering to help with something that seems to be taking longer than usual.”

Before you speak to your child, think of whether or not it is an imperative sentence, such as something that has “you” or their name as the subject of the sentence, even if it’s implied. So, for example, you can say to your child, “You need to get dressed,” which has the subject of the sentence, “you,” but you can also say, “Go get dressed.” Here the subject of the sentence is still “you,” but it is implied. You don’t usually say, “You, go get dressed,” but you might say, “Billy, go get dressed.” This is an imperative sentence, and it’s a command, which means it’s less likely your child will want to follow the instruction.

Instead, modify the statement to be, “It’s time to get dressed.” Beachkofsky says kids may “catch on to what’s happening” and spring into action, but if they don’t, she suggests going back to the old toddler staple of giving choices instead of commands. In this example that might be, “Do you want to get dressed first or brush your teeth first?” or “Do you want to get dressed now or in five minutes?” She says, “Making observations and allowing kids to draw conclusions and plan ahead for the next steps really strengthens their executive functioning skills and helps with planning and organizing, too.” This type of training helps them become more independent in the future, without needing you to “nag” or command them.

Timing is everything

In comedy and parenting, timing is everything. A teaching term, “wait time,” can be applied to declarative language to make it more effective. Think of a teacher asking a class, “What is the moral of this story?” No one answers right away unless your classroom has a Hermione Granger present. An inexperienced teacher will jump in with suggestions, saying, “The moral might be to think before you speak.” An experienced teacher will let silence hang in the air, knowing that, eventually, someone will say something. This is because processing speeds differ when people get new information. The teacher knows the potential answer to the question, but the students didn’t even know they were going to be asked a question at all.

“We always want to make sure we are giving our learners the time they need to think and process the information we are presenting,” Murphy says. “If we jump in too soon with a prompt, question or or more language, we can make it harder.” Instead of supplying answers or more language, try to give the words time to sink in. “Even though it may feel awkward at first, it is really important to get comfortable with silence on the other side of a declarative statement ,” she says.

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School refusal and the Australian families gripped by blame, shame, and the fear of a lost education

A growing crisis of school refusal is gripping Australia, leaving families in a hidden struggle.

When it first started happening, Alice would drag her daughter Frieda into kindergarten screaming.

The school staff would restrain the five-year-old as they locked the door.

"If tough love worked, my child would be at school. The things we put her through … I'm ashamed of it," Alice says.

She knows what other parents judge her for — being a mother who can't get her child to school.

"It's a really lonely and confusing and shameful world because you assume that you are the problem," the Sydney mum says.

"You see other families, their kids just happily going to school … and you feel like you're just in this complete other world."

Frieda, now eight, is one of the thousands of children in Australia experiencing 'school refusal', also known as 'school can't' — children who have difficulty attending school due to emotional distress.

Some days Frieda lasts to the 3pm bell, others she might only make it to the school gate or not leave home at all.

"I get a bit upset when I usually don't make it to school. 'Cause I really want to, but somehow I don't know how to get there," Frieda says.

For parents, it's a living nightmare that can result in broken careers, fear of kids missing out and threats of fines and prosecution.

For the education system, it raises fundamental questions about whether schools can actually include every child.

Distress and disengagement

An increasing number of Australian children are struggling to get to school.

In 2023, the attendance rate for students in Years 1 to 10 was 88 per cent, down from 92 per cent almost a decade earlier.

Last year, 38 per cent of all students in Years 1 to 10 were absent for more than 20 days a year – which is considered chronically absent.

Dr Lisa McKay-Brown, an education researcher at the University of Melbourne, says because there is no national data tracking the reason for absences, it's unclear what is driving disengagement.

"How many of this is medical, how many of this is school refusal, how many of this is kids on holidays? That's where the problem lies because it's really hard to resource and plan and intervene when you don't know how big the problem is," Dr McKay-Brown says.

Many parents and experts argue the more accurate term is 'school can't' — it's not that the child won't go to school, they can't.

Experts say the emotional distress can be caused by problems at home or school but is often associated with neurodiversity and mental health disorders.

"We know that there are certain groups that are more at risk than others … they may be autistic, they may have learning difficulties, ADHD. They may have anxiety or some other mood disorder," Dr McKay-Brown says.

'Ethan was left behind'

When Ethan looks at a photo of himself in grade 3, he knows behind the smile was someone without much hope.

"I felt like I wouldn't actually get a job when I get older. I would be homeless, sleeping on the side of the road," the 12-year-old says.

By grade 3 in his Geelong primary school, Ethan couldn't read or write.

He'd been falling behind for years, and becoming more disengaged.

"I couldn't even spell my name," Ethan says.

When Ethan's mum Sam saw how he was treated in class one day, it left her heartbroken.

"Instead of sitting there and writing a sentence like the other children were doing, they just said 'Oh, just draw a picture'. It pushed him further away," she says.

Pandemic lockdowns only made matters worse.

Ethan found online learning hard and later, found the return to school challenging. As he struggled to keep up, he began having physical outbursts and experiencing bullying. Eventually he started threatening self-harm if he was forced to attend school.

"It wasn't safe for me. I got bullied every day. Made me feel ... like I was locked up in a cage,” Ethan says. 

Sam, who had recently separated with four kids, was struggling to balance working to pay off her mortgage with Ethan's low attendance rate.

"Being a parent is really hard. Especially when they're having to finish school early, or you're getting phone calls saying, 'You need to come pick your child up, they've broken a window, or they've tried to self-harm'."

"You kind of can't commit to anything. Your life just goes on hold."

When Ethan's public school said they were out of options to help him, Sam added her son's name to a 100-person long waitlist for an independent school that helps youth who are disengaged from mainstream schooling.

The months slipped by as they waited for a spot.

"No child left behind is definitely not a reality, because Ethan was left behind," Sam says.

The shadow of the law

Because school attendance is required by law, for parents of kids struggling to go, the threat of legal action always looms.

When Kurt's 16-year-old daughter Hayley couldn't get out of bed to go to school, the daily texts started coming.

"Your daughter was marked absent … this absence has been recorded as unexplained or unjustified," one text from her Sydney school read.

Hayley says school staff eventually told her that her absences could result in a $11,000 fine, placing further pressure on the family.

“I had my parents coming in, like yelling at me … I got the light turned on, the blinds opened, the bed sheets pulled off, stuff like that,” Hayley says. 

During a fight with Hayley, it dawned on Kurt, who is a mental health nurse, that his daughter had depression. He'd also noticed cuts on her arms.

"The school stuff was hard, but the stuff where you cry yourself to sleep sometimes is having a child doing that themselves … and working in the industry knowing what the outcomes can be," Kurt says tearily.

Meanwhile, the texts continued, leaving Kurt fearing what might come next.

In a general statement provided to Four Corners, the NSW Department of Education said, "where attendance improvement support has been unsuccessful … and the parents have not meaningfully engaged, the matter may be referred for consideration of legal action".

Homeschooling Hayley would have stopped the texts, but for the working single-dad of two, it wasn't an option. Eventually, school staff assured him he would not be fined.

"We started talking to the deputy principal and she was excellent, so she put a plan in place with Hayley," Kurt says.

The number of homeschooled children has doubled during the past five years, from 21,456 pupils in 2019 to more than 43,797 in 2023.

Alice has seen parents post on Facebook about giving up their careers to homeschool their kids. It's an option she's thought about a lot for Frieda who has been diagnosed with autism.

"The prospect of homeschooling Frieda hangs over me every day … but I can't afford to," Alice says.

When Frieda doesn't make it into school, Alice isn't able to get through a normal work day. To make up for lost time she works into the night or over weekends.

Frieda's attendance has improved after moving to a school where staff have been more accommodating to her needs.

Despite the improvement, Alice received a formal warning letter last month regarding Frieda's attendance. A second will trigger contact from a homeschool liaison officer.

"The principal did explain it's just how the system works, and it doesn't need to be a scary thing as they may have more resources … but if I didn't have the heads up, I would have been terrified," Alice says.

"When you get something like that … it's got a shaming tone. Like you're failing at this, you're failing because your child isn't going to school all the time."

Alice feels like that sentiment runs across the department's pamphlets on school refusal, particularly the NSW Education slogan "Every School Day Counts".

"How insulting. Of course we want our kids to be going every day."

"They were putting [it] back onto the parents, it's our fault … instead of 'school attendance is tanking, so is numeracy and literacy' and the department isn't prepared to go, 'Maybe it's a problem with the system'."

'You have to go through so much trauma’ 

After a six month wait, Ethan got a place at MacKillop Education in Geelong, a non-government school that helps students disengaged from mainstream schooling to get back on track.

Teachers and the principal personally greeted the shy newcomer at the school gates every day.

With just 80 students and class sizes capped at eight, Ethan got the attention he needed to work on things like regulating his emotions when he felt challenged by the schoolwork.

"He would bite or pull his hair and he would say, 'I'm so dumb'. That's the thing that upset him most, that he thought he was stupid," says Sharyn Sadler, Ethan's support teacher.

"There was a fear of failure. And that's actually common amongst many of our children because they've experienced so much failure."

To support students' emotional regulation, classrooms are fitted with chill-out sensory spaces and teachers keep a predictable routine. Uniforms are also scrapped for students who find them itchy.

"I think there does need to be greater flexibility in the system in how we're providing education for young people to be able to access it. And that comes through knowledge, human resourcing, money," MacKillop co-principal Skye Staude says.

For most MacKillop students, the school is a transition period to get them back into a mainstream setting.

After two years at the school, Ethan's attendance went up to full-time. He can now read fluently and spell.

This year he transitioned into a mainstream government school with additional supports.

Sam knows not every child gets the opportunity Ethan does.

"Alternative schools like this, they're not as easily accessible for kids who need them. You have to go through so much trauma, so much anger. The child has to go through so much themselves to even be put in the position to access a school like this," Sam says.

"Ethan's been given that chance, and he's really grown with it."

Ethan will be a teenager next year, and he likes the person he's finally becoming.

"I feel like I got hope in myself. I'm proud of myself," Ethan says.

Sam knows that school refusal is difficult to comprehend for those that haven't lived it themselves, but knows from experience how debilitating it can be.

"You feel like there's no light at the end of the tunnel as a parent, so you're not thinking about your hopes, what you want out of your life," Sam says.

For some kids, the path ahead isn't as straightforward.

Hayley's attendance improved to 85 per cent last year when she signed up to a pilot program run by NSW Education for students with chronic attendance issues that employs interest-based learning.

But this year she's had setbacks — first with her mental health, then the program made some changes to its approach.

"Sometimes I'll be going great for a few weeks or months or even a whole year, but then stuff will not be going as great again, and then my attendance will go down again."

To stay engaged, the program has allowed Hayley to make adjustments like wearing headphones to block out distractions. She's also started attending a local school for art class four days a week.

She's noticed the change in herself.

"I'm actually doing things. Talking to people instead of staying in my room, trying to get to school."

"I want to be able to get through year 11 and 12 and get into uni to study psychology. So I've been doing as much as I can to get there."

One size doesn't fit all

The issue of school refusal, which exists largely in the shadows, was pushed into the spotlight last year by a Senate inquiry.

Greens Senator Penny Allman-Payne, who helped instigate the inquiry, says Australia's one-size-fits-all education system is outdated.

"This is the model of education that we had over 100 years ago. The world is very different now. Young people are very different now," she says.

"The good news is that we know that there are things that work: early intervention, smaller class sizes, flexible campuses, interest-led learning."

The federal government has agreed or supported in-principle two of the inquiry's 14 recommendations.

They include commissioning the Australian Education Research Organisation to analyse the drivers of school refusal and possible interventions, and disseminate school refusal training for teachers.

Alice feels like the government has stopped short of investing in schools properly. She's worried asking more of existing teachers will strain the system.

"The teachers are under so much pressure. So, they're going to do more training, more to their workload when they're already stretched?"

Frieda's attendance is now at 54 per cent, she also successfully sat her year 3 NAPLAN test.

But Alice knows there's no guarantee things will keep improving.

"I don't know what our lives are going to look like next week, next month, next year," says Alice.

The fear of the unknown scares her – if Frieda will get through the school day, if she'll get another warning letter.

"As a parent, that's pretty awful because all you want is for your kid to be happy."

Watch Four Corners: The kids who can't,  tonight from 8.30pm on ABC TV and ABC iview .

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Story: Mridula Amin and Sascha Ettinger-Epstein

Photography: Mridula Amin

Digital Production: Mridula Amin and Nick Wiggins

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Secretary Alejandro N. Mayorkas Joined by Representatives of Top Technology Companies, Sports Leagues, and Youth-Serving Organizations to Announce New Nationwide Awareness Campaign to Combat Online Child Sexual Exploitation and Abuse

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On Wednesday, April 17, 2024, Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro N. Mayorkas will host a press conference in New York City to announce the Department of Homeland Security’s launch of Know2Protect – a nationwide public awareness campaign to combat online child sexual exploitation and abuse.

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