growing up in a caribbean household essay

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growing up in a caribbean household essay

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Growing up in a Caribbean household comes with its unique quirks and cultural traditions that leave a lasting impact. Whether it’s the legendary biscuit tin, the never-ending gatherings or the carbs at every meal, these experiences shape your upbringing and give you and your diaspora community in the United States something to laugh over forever.

1. There are no biscuits in the tin

If you need the sewing needle and thread, check the biscuit tin. If you need a clip for your hair — biscuit tin. After all of the sweet treats have been eaten, these tins become home for sewing equipment, car key holders, hair accessories, passports and other necessary knick-knacks that should be out of sight.

2. Talking back was a risk you weren’t willing to take

Have you ever heard your non-Caribbean friends talk back to their parents and think “wow, if I ever did that…” In a Caribbean household, talking back to your parents was a surefire way to get into trouble, or receive a quick smack across the head. And while others might think it harsh, if you grew up in the Caribbean, you know our parents are known for their tough love that doesn’t tolerate disrespect or attitude.

3. You never touched the “good” china

Unless it was Christmas or Easter, or the pastor was coming to dinner, the treasured dishes from the antique china cabinet were never taken from their protected perch. These “good” crockery pieces were reserved for special occasions… if you were lucky.

4. Everyone is late, all the time

Ever heard of “island time?” Yeah, it’s real. Punctuality is a rarity in the Caribbean and even among the diaspora abroad. “See you soon” means “I’ve just started getting ready,” and a reservation for 11am brunch will inevitably get pushed to 1pm.

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5. You’ll probably never meet all of your extended family

Think you’ve met all your family? Think again. Family gatherings are never dull in island communities, partly because you might meet a new aunt, nephew or fourth cousin each time. It’s almost impossible to keep track of everyone in the extended family tree, especially when the “we’re expecting” announcements keep popping up on Facebook.

6. “You don’t know how easy you have it”

If you’re thinking of complaining about something trivial like how long you stood in line at the DMV or how slow the WIFI was at a coffee shop, clear your schedule for the next hour as your parents recount stories of crossing croc-infested rivers just to get to school or how they had to make up games with sticks, string, bottle caps and juice boxes to have fun back when smart phones weren’t invented. Trust — they’re not going to let you forget how good you’ve got it.

7. Heading inside? You better be barefoot or wearing house slippers

If you thought you were just going to walk inside the house after a long day at school, think again. Wearing shoes inside your home was basically forbidden. Caribbean parents are strict when it comes to cleanliness, so the thought of dirty shoes on their pristine floors or carpets was absolutely unacceptable.

8. The living room wasn’t for living

Your house had two living rooms: one for actual living and one that was off-limits to the immediate family. The latter, often lacking the “junk” of everyday life and filled with nice furniture (often covered in plastic), was reserved strictly for guests. You could easily live in that house for 18 years without ever setting foot in this space.

9. “Wait, what did they say?”

Growing up in a Caribbean family with a strong accent often meant you had to be the translator between your parents and your American friends, teachers or waitstaff. While their native Patois or Kreyol sayings made perfect sense to you, conversations with others always seemed to take twice as long.

10. Rice and beans at brunch, lunch and dinner

It didn’t matter if you were having griot, jerk chicken or carne asada, your main meal is likely to include a heaping portion of some iteration of rice and beans.

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Growing up caribbean:, the underlining differences.

When asked about myself one of the very first things I often find myself saying is that I'm Caribbean. More specifically, I'll say that I'm Jamaican because that's who I AM.. I define myself as Caribbean because it's extremely important to me, something that I hold close to my heart because like many Caribbean just about all of them I'm prideful of my country and my unique upbringing.

Being Caribbean means a list of things to me but for starters I'll say that it means growing up in a strict household with rules on top of rules that are set in stone from the time you're born. Lol okay maybe I'm exaggerating a bit but not really, I've always set myself apart from my friends in many ways because we differ in the ways that we've been raised. I was raised with chores plenty of them at that, especially being that I'm an only child and on top of that I was taught to listen twice as much as I speak, to be opinionated, independent, educated, respect my elders, and not to mention the fact that I always had a curfew.

So being that these were things that I was accustomed to there were many times where I found myself caught off guard by the ways many of my peers spoke of their households and what seemed like a lack of structure. I mean how could they not have chores and did some of them really consider their mom their best friends? Speaking to her like she was amongst their age group? When I arrived in America and witnessed these things from my non Caribbean classmates I felt like I was in a twilight zone. I would have never thought that, that type of relationship was a possibility. It was and still is very much weird to me because growing up and even now I've never known that to be real, you could be close to your parents but never friends. But I had to learn that different people doing different things and that their are countless parenting styles. As I've mentioned above though for me respect is and was not an option and that's something you learn immediately, independence is also a must. You learn how to do things little by little at a young age until you've mastered them, not to mention education you're taught to balance studying and play by always being on top of your studies even in the summer. It may seem like a lot, difficult even but at the end of the day it makes us stronger individuals and these characteristics sets us apart form the rest. I love my Caribean roots live, sleep, and breathe them and wouldn't change them for the world. I hope that one day I'll be able to incorporate the teachings into my overall parenting style along with those that I'll create with my partner.

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25 beatles lyrics: your go-to guide for every situation, the best lines from the fab four.

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The End- Abbey Road, 1969

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Dear Prudence- The White Album, 1968

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

Because- Abbey Road, 1969

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

All You Need Is Love, 1967

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

We Can Work It Out- Rubber Soul, 1965

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Come Together- Abbey Road, 1969

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

I Wanna Hold Your Hand- Meet The Beatles!, 1964

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band-1967

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Strawberry Fields Forever- Magical Mystery Tour, 1967

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Rain- Paperback Writer "B" side, 1966

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

Here Comes The Sun- Abbey Road, 1969

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

Saw Her Standing There- Please Please Me, 1963

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

Michelle- Rubber Soul, 1965

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

Revolution- The Beatles, 1968

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Eleanor Rigby- Revolver, 1966

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

With A Little Help From My Friends- Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, 1967

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Hey Jude, 1968

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

Yesterday- Help!, 1965

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

Let It Be- Let It Be, 1970

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all i got to give if you say you'll love me too. i may not have a lot to give but what i got i'll give to you. i don't care too much for money. money can't buy me love.

Can't Buy Me Love- A Hard Day's Night, 1964

All you need is love, love is all you need

All You Need Is Love- Magical Mystery Tour, 1967

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. all your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Blackbird- The White Album, 1968

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

In My Life- Rubber Soul, 1965

While these are my 25 favorites, there are quite literally 1000s that could have been included. The Beatles' body of work is massive and there is something for everyone. If you have been living under a rock and haven't discovered the Fab Four, you have to get musically educated. Stream them on Spotify, find them on iTunes or even buy a CD or record (Yes, those still exist!). I would suggest starting with 1, which is a collection of most of their #1 songs, or the 1968 White Album. Give them chance and you'll never look back.

14 Invisible Activities: Unleash Your Inner Ghost!

Obviously the best superpower..

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

1. "Haunt" your friends.

Follow them into their house and cause a ruckus.

2. Sneak into movie theaters.

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3. Sneak into the pantry and grab a snack without judgment.

Late night snacks all you want? Duh.

4. Reenact "Hollow Man" and play Kevin Bacon.

America's favorite son? And feel what it's like to be in a MTV Movie Award nominated film? Sign me up.

5. Wear a mask and pretend to be a floating head.

Just another way to spook your friends in case you wanted to.

6. Hold objects so they'll "float."

"Oh no! A floating jar of peanut butter."

7. Win every game of hide-and-seek.

Just stand out in the open and you'll win.

8. Eat some food as people will watch it disappear.

Even everyday activities can be funny.

9. Go around pantsing your friends.

Even pranks can be done; not everything can be good.

10. Not have perfect attendance.

You'll say here, but they won't see you...

11. Avoid anyone you don't want to see.

Whether it's an ex or someone you hate, just use your invisibility to slip out of the situation.

12. Avoid responsibilities.

Chores? Invisible. People asking about social life? Invisible. Family being rude? Boom, invisible.

13. Be an expert on ding-dong-ditch.

Never get caught and have the adrenaline rush? I'm down.

14. Brag about being invisible.

Be the envy of the town.

But don't, I repeat, don't go in a locker room. Don't be a pervert with your power. No one likes a Peeping Tom.

Good luck, folks.

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned..

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

1. The importance of traditions.

Sometimes traditions seem like a silly thing, but the fact of it is that it's part of who you are. You grew up this way and, more than likely, so did your parents. It is something that is part of your family history and that is more important than anything.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

No matter how many times they get on your nerves or make you mad, they are the ones who will always be there and you should never take that for granted.

3. How to give back.

When tragedy strikes in a small town, everyone feels obligated to help out because, whether directly or indirectly, it affects you too. It is easy in a bigger city to be able to disconnect from certain problems. But in a small town those problems affect everyone.

4. What the word "community" really means.

Along the same lines as #3, everyone is always ready and willing to lend a helping hand when you need one in a small town and to me that is the true meaning of community. It's working together to build a better atmosphere, being there to raise each other up, build each other up, and pick each other up when someone is in need. A small town community is full of endless support whether it be after a tragedy or at a hometown sports game. Everyone shows up to show their support.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

People say this to others all the time, but it takes on a whole new meaning in a small town. It is true that life is about the journey, but when you're from a small town, you know it's about the journey because the journey probably takes longer than you spend at the destination. Everything is so far away that it is totally normal to spend a couple hours in the car on your way to some form of entertainment. And most of the time, you're gonna have as many, if not more, memories and laughs on the journey than at the destination.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

Word travels fast in a small town, so don't think you're gonna get away with anything. In fact, your parents probably know what you did before you even have a chance to get home and tell them. And forget about being scared of what your teacher, principle, or other authority figure is going to do, you're more afraid of what your parents are gonna do when you get home.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

Everyone deserves a chance. Most people don't have ill-intentions and you can't live your life guarding against every one else just because a few people in your life have betrayed your trust.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

While small towns are not always extremely diverse, they do contain people with a lot of different stories, struggle, and backgrounds. In a small town, it is pretty hard to exclude anyone because of who they are or what they come from because there aren't many people to choose from. A small town teaches you that just because someone isn't the same as you, doesn't mean you can't be great friends.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

In a small town, you learn that it's okay to be who you are and do your own thing. You learn that confidence isn't how beautiful you are or how much money you have, it's who you are on the inside.

10. How to work for what I want.

Nothing comes easy in life. They always say "gardens don't grow overnight" and if you're from a small town you know this both figuratively and literally. You certainly know gardens don't grow overnight because you've worked in a garden or two. But you also know that to get to the place you want to be in life it takes work and effort. It doesn't just happen because you want it to.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

If you're from a small town, you know that you will probably only meet a handful of people in your life who ACTUALLY know where your town is. And forget about the people who accidentally enter into your town because of google maps. You've gotten really good at giving them directions right back to the interstate.

12. How to be humble .

My small town has definitely taught me how to be humble. It isn't always about you, and anyone who grows up in a small town knows that. Everyone gets their moment in the spotlight, and since there's so few of us, we're probably best friends with everyone so we are as excited when they get their moment of fame as we are when we get ours.

13. To be well-rounded.

Going to a small town high school definitely made me well-rounded. There isn't enough kids in the school to fill up all the clubs and sports teams individually so be ready to be a part of them all.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

In a small town, good luck holding a grudge. In a bigger city you can just avoid a person you don't like or who you've had problems with. But not in a small town. You better resolve the issue fast because you're bound to see them at least 5 times a week.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

One of my favorite things about growing up in a rural area was being able to go outside and go exploring and not have to worry about being in danger. There is nothing more exciting then finding a new place somewhere in town or in the woods and just spending time there enjoying the natural beauty around you.

16. To be prepared for anything.

You never know what may happen. If you get a flat tire, you better know how to change it yourself because you never know if you will be able to get ahold of someone else to come fix it. Mechanics might be too busy , or more than likely you won't even have enough cell service to call one.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

It's okay to ask for help. One thing I realized when I moved away from my town for college, was how much my town has taught me that I could ask for help is I needed it. I got into a couple situations outside of my town where I couldn't find anyone to help me and found myself thinking, if I was in my town there would be tons of people ready to help me. And even though I couldn't find anyone to help, you better believe I wasn't afraid to ask.

18. How to be creative.

When you're at least an hour away from normal forms of entertainment such as movie theaters and malls, you learn to get real creative in entertaining yourself. Whether it be a night looking at the stars in the bed of a pickup truck or having a movie marathon in a blanket fort at home, you know how to make your own good time.

19. To brush off gossip.

It's all about knowing the person you are and not letting others influence your opinion of yourself. In small towns, there is plenty of gossip. But as long as you know who you really are, it will always blow over.

Grateful Beyond Words: A Letter to My Inspiration

I have never been so thankful to know you..

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

You have taught me that you don't always have to strong. You are allowed to break down as long as you pick yourself back up and keep moving forward. When life had you at your worst moments, you allowed your friends to be there for you and to help you. You let them in and they helped pick you up. Even in your darkest hour you showed so much strength. I know that you don't believe in yourself as much as you should but you are unbelievably strong and capable of anything you set your mind to.

Your passion to make a difference in the world is unbelievable. You put your heart and soul into your endeavors and surpass any personal goal you could have set. Watching you do what you love and watching you make a difference in the lives of others is an incredible experience. The way your face lights up when you finally realize what you have accomplished is breathtaking and I hope that one day I can have just as much passion you have.

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The love you have for your family is outstanding. Watching you interact with loved ones just makes me smile . You are so comfortable and you are yourself. I see the way you smile when you are around family and I wish I could see you smile like this everyday. You love with all your heart and this quality is something I wished I possessed.

You inspire me to be the best version of myself. I look up to you. I feel that more people should strive to have the strength and passion that you exemplify in everyday life.You may be stubborn at points but when you really need help you let others in, which shows strength in itself. I have never been more proud to know someone and to call someone my role model. You have taught me so many things and I want to thank you. Thank you for inspiring me in life. Thank you for making me want to be a better person.

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life..

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Don't freak out

This is a rule you should continue to follow no matter what you do in life, but is especially helpful in this situation.

Email the professor

Around this time, professors are getting flooded with requests from students wanting to get into full classes. This doesn't mean you shouldn't burden them with your email; it means they are expecting interested students to email them. Send a short, concise message telling them that you are interested in the class and ask if there would be any chance for you to get in.

Attend the first class

Often, the advice professors will give you when they reply to your email is to attend the first class. The first class isn't the most important class in terms of what will be taught. However, attending the first class means you are serious about taking the course and aren't going to give up on it.

Keep attending class

Every student is in the same position as you are. They registered for more classes than they want to take and are "shopping." For the first couple of weeks, you can drop or add classes as you please, which means that classes that were once full will have spaces. If you keep attending class and keep up with assignments, odds are that you will have priority. Professors give preference to people who need the class for a major and then from higher to lower class year (senior to freshman).

Have a backup plan

For two weeks, or until I find out whether I get into my waitlisted class, I will be attending more than the usual number of classes. This is so that if I don't get into my waitlisted class, I won't have a credit shortage and I won't have to fall back in my backup class. Chances are that enough people will drop the class, especially if it is very difficult like computer science, and you will have a chance. In popular classes like art and psychology, odds are you probably won't get in, so prepare for that.

Remember that everything works out at the end

Life is full of surprises. So what if you didn't get into the class you wanted? Your life obviously has something else in store for you. It's your job to make sure you make the best out of what you have.

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The Daughter of Immigrants: How Haitian Culture Shaped my Life

I have had the privilege of growing up in two cultures—Haitian and American. This made for an interesting dichotomy especially because for most of my life, I wanted to fit in. At home, we spoke mostly Haitian Creole and as my siblings and I grew older, we introduced “Crenglish” to my parents–our blend of Creole and English. As a matter of fact, I remember the day I realized that I was an English Language Learner in a graduate class when I studied the plight of students who learned English as a second language. My parents taught me Creole first with the mindset that we would learn English in school. While I didn’t need English as a Second Language or English Language support in school, it enabled me to be compassionate and an advocate later on in life to my students from other countries.

Much of my childhood was centered around church. My parents believed in the importance of leading a Christian life so when we weren’t in school or spending time with family, we could be found at church. This is important because it was there that I was introduced to the French language because not only were services held in Creole, but they were also conducted in English and French as well. I learned to sing songs and memorized scriptures in all three languages, and eventually, I taught myself to read the Bible in French as well. This is where my literacy and fluency in French was born. If it had not been for Haitian Creole, I don’t think I would have had the foundation and success I had in studying French in high school and college like I did. My parents were very hard-working, blue-collar workers. My mom did not have the luxury of staying at home to rear us, so they had to make the very hard decision to send my older brother and I to Haiti when I was a baby/toddler. I stayed in Haiti for about six months but when my mom came to visit us, I refused to leave her side and she had no choice but to take me back to the U.S. with her. The sad thing is that I haven’t been back to Haiti since.

As I reflect on what it means to be the daughter of Haitian immigrants, I am most proud of our history of activism and protest. Although much of my identity has been shaped by the origin of my parents’ birthplace, there was a slight bifurcation in my upbringing. I wasn’t only Haitian; I was a Haitian Christian . This meant that my life was a bit sheltered and that I was never fully able to embrace all of my heritage. Because we were “saved”—accepted Jesus as our Lord and personal Savior, my parents kept us away from things like “Carnival” and anything they felt was related to Voodoo and any associated stigma. In addition, my parents didn’t share much about their past because some of their stories were painful and they probably feared being misunderstood. Like other immigrants, they wanted to live peaceably and to provide a good life for us that didn’t include the hardships and disrespect they faced at the hands of other people because of the way they looked, acted, and spoke.

I remember the day that my parents joined over 50,000 fellow Haitians from New York and New Jersey to protest “a Federal health policy on blood donations that unfairly demonized Haitians and Africans.” Haitians were so outraged that they rallied and literally shut the Brooklyn Bridge down as well as the streets of Brooklyn and made a significant political statement that resulted in the reversal of the policy. When my mom returned from the march, she told me that there were so many people walking over the bridge that it literally shook. As I prepared to write this paper, my mom shared how active my father was in other protests like the one in support of President Jean-Bertrand Aristide in 1997. The police underestimated “The demonstration [which] had been announced days before, … even though the 300,000 members of the Haitian community in New York have shown a readiness to voice their political concerns.” My people know how to take collective action and be heard!

I am proud to be a daughter of Haitian immigrants. We are a people who have a history of advocacy and activism. No wonder, I cannot stand silently on the side of injustice.

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Growing Up In A Caribbean Home Vol.1

Growing Up Black

Who can forget what it was like growing up in a Caribbean home? Aside from fearing your parents about anything to do with school, food, chores and ornaments were a major part of our lives! to name a few.

Although we can’t rewind the clock, we thought we’d reminisce on the TEN things we experienced growing up. Vol.1

1. You had to clean every Saturday morning

Photo: SeniorGumBoy

Lie-ins didn’t exist. And you could forget about watching cartoons too. The house had to be cleaned from top to bottom and the clothes had to be ironed for church the next day or school the following week – and there was no escaping it. Sometimes, it would even run into the afternoon when you had plans. You just had to suck it up and clean without looking miserable.

2. Waking up to the smell of food

Photo: Reddit

The weekend hadn’t started unless the smell of something amazing woke you up with a smile. It didn’t matter what it was; it smelt great. If you were really lucky it was a full-on breakfast of ackee & saltfish with fried dumpling or Run down (mackerel, boiled green banana and dumpling). These dishes would keep you satisfied for most of the day.

3. Singing while cooking = a feast for dinner

Photo: Mennobytes

The chef of the house would either hum or sing when they cooked. That was a sign that it was about to go down in the kitchen. Once the singing began, the smell of food filled the house. On the odd occasion though, the sweet-smelling food was for someone else.

4. Sneaking in the kitchen to eat from the dutch pot (quietly)

Photo: TropicalSunfoods

Yes. We all did it even though we were strictly told not to touch the pot until it was dinner time. We couldn’t help ourselves. It was the same routine every week: you ran to get a fork or spoon, tiptoed back to the pot and helped yourself to whatever was inside.

5. Getting told off for eating from the pot when your mum’s in the other room

Photo: Pinterest

Seriously, though, how did they hear us? You were extra careful when taking the closest piece of meat. Yet, despite our careful planning and silence, they just knew what we were about to do and shouted at us even though they couldn’t see us. It’s scary.

6. Three carbs in one meal was standard

You weren’t really hungry but you couldn’t resist the food. Rice and Peas took up most of the plate, then mac and cheese and then roast potatoes with meat and (overcooked) veg. You tackled the feast and then you hated yourself because you couldn’t move. Then, an hour later (yeah right, 30 mins max) you helped yourself to seconds as if you didn’t learn the first time around.

7. You couldn’t use any of the stuff in the cabinet

You’ll never forget the ‘good’ crockery that only surfaced once a year; two if you’re lucky. In fact, they’re probably still there now. And don’t get us started on the plates with the gold rim that couldn’t go in the microwave…

8. Don’t take the plastic slip covers off the couch – even though it’s 20+ years old!

What was up with the plastic covers?! They were awkward to sit on and it made getting comfortable a longer process than necessary. It was either freezing to sit on in Winter or unbearable when you’re hot and sticky in summer. But…rules were rules and you had to obey.

9. The living room was only for special guests

The living room was almost always locked and you never knew where the key was. But when the doorbell rang, your parents ushered them in the living room. And you, sadly, weren’t invited to join. You had to know your place.

10. The Ice Cream container that never had Ice Cream in it!

You 100% wanted the Neapolitan ice cream but instead you got leftovers from some time or another. And then you lost hope in there ever being real ice cream in the freezer. The disappointment was real! Word of warning: don’t trust the ice cream tub.

What do you remember most about growing up in a Caribbean home? We want to know. Comment below!

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12 Truths About Growing Up...

Truths About Growing Up in Jamaica

Some of the performers at last years Grand Gala, held in the National Stadium

Freelance Caribbean Writer

Growing up in Jamaica can be an exciting cultural experience. With all the many wonderful attractions and vibrant lifestyle of the people, children growing up on the island will never be bored. Take a look at 12 truths about growing up in Jamaica .

The grand gala celebration is annual kid-friendly fun.

The Grand Gala is a massive annual Independence Day celebration that commemorates the day Jamaica became an independent state from Britain on August 6, 1962. The celebration includes agricultural exhibitions and street parades, all climaxing to the main Grand Gala event at the National Stadium in Kingston. This event is the best way for children to get to participate in the celebration of one of Jamaica ‘s most historic moments.

Every child looks forward to Christmas class parties

All public primary and high schools, as well as some private schools in Jamaica , wear uniforms. At the end of the first semester, most schools across the island host Christmas class parties as a way to close the semester. Children get a chance to dress up, exchange gifts, and enjoy music and food with their classmates and teachers.

Olympic season is one of the most exciting times

The dominance of Jamaica n athletes in Track & Field has led to Olympic season being one of the most exciting times in Jamaica . Every four years, Jamaica ns get ready to cheer on their favorite athletes as they compete for medals at the games. Jamaica ns flock to bars, restaurants, and town centers to watch all the races and events.

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Traditional Sunday dinner is a must

One of the many Jamaica n culinary traditions is to have the traditional Sunday dinner cooked every week in Jamaica n households. The meal of rice and peas, meat (or very often, chicken), and vegetables is the classic Jamaica n dinner that you will often find being served on Sundays.

You will also have tea in the mornings

Jamaica ns also believe that everyone, children especially, should have some form of tea in the mornings. Parents and grandparents often offer tea to their children in the mornings before they head off to school. Other Jamaica ns also believe that many different types of tea such as ginger tea and sinkle bible ( Jamaica n term for Aloe Vera) have various healing properties.

Kids grow up on Reggae and/or Dancehall music

Reggae and Dancehall are the two most popular genres of music in Jamaica . Depending on the household, a child will grow up hearing generations of reggae and/or dancehall being played around the house.

Grand Market is Christmas Eve heaven

Grand Market is an islandwide Christmas eve shopping experience in Jamaica . Children on the island look forward to going out with their parents on Christmas Eve in hopes of finding their favorite toys among the grand market deals and sales.

Every childhood is filled with ring games

No Jamaica n childhood in Jamaica is complete without, at least once, participating in ring games. “Dandy Shandy,” “Brown Girl in the Ring,” and “Bull Inna Pen” are some of the most popular ring games that have been passed down from generation to generation.

Kids dream of being on local quiz shows

An aspiration of many young Jamaica n scholars is to be a part of their school’s quiz team that competes in the local quiz competitions in Jamaica . The academic competition sees schools battling against each other for trophies, individual prizes, and the title of “Quiz Champ” for that year.

Anansi stories are bedtime stories

Anansi Stories were created in West Africa and brought to Jamaica by African slaves. This mischievous, fictional spider has become a popular folkloric character in Jamaica n culture. The stories include riddles, folklore, and valuable lessons told to Jamaica n children by older generations.

Hitting the beach on holidays is a tradition

There is something about public holidays that makes Jamaica ns want to go to the beach . If you want to see the highest concentration of people at a public beach in Jamaica , try visiting on the holidays—especially Emancipation Day (August 1) and Independence Day (August 6).

Everyone Plays Dominoes

The game of domino is one of the most popular past-times in Jamaica . Children gather around domino tables to watch adults play rounds of dominoes until they are old enough to learn.

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18 Things You'll Only Understand If You Grew Up In A Caribbean Household

Some people hoard books, Caribbean people hoard plastic bags.

BuzzFeed Staff

1. Ginger and lemon tea solves everything.

I can’t explain it but this beverage really is a cure for all. Sore throat? Ginger and lemon tea. Indigestion? Ginger and lemon tea. Broken ankle? You guessed – ginger and lemon tea. God knows the science behind it but the proof is in the pudding.

2. No party is ever complete without Wray and Nephew rum.

What do all Caribbean parties have in common? Good people, good music, good food, and Wray and Nephew rum. There aren’t many things you can guarantee in this life, by Wray and Nephew making an appearance at a Caribbean get together is certainly one of them. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

3. Leaving an event with a week’s worth of food is the ultimate life goal.

The only thing better than dining at an event is taking home a lifetime supply of food with you. When Tupperware is nowhere to be found (which is often, let’s be honest), sometimes you have to get creative with your doggy bags. It’s the makeshift tin foil containers for me.

4. Notting Hill Carnival is arguably the most important weekend of the year.

Notting Hill Carnival is like Easter , Christmas, and New Year’s rolled into one. It’s the bank holiday of all bank holidays and we Caribbean people do not take it lightly. Come rain or shine, the vibe is immaculate.

5. Everyone is late for absolutely everything.

Caribbean time is a whole world unto itself. You could arrive late to your own party and no one would even bat an eyelid. Punctuality just isn’t our strong suit. So if we say we’re five minutes away and you believe us, that’s on you, sis.

6. It’s highly unlikely you’ll have met all of your extended family.

Every family gathering is an opportunity to meet more family members you didn’t know existed. There’s always another auntie, uncle, or long lost cousin around to keep you on your toes. How many cousins do we have? The limit does not exist.

7. As much as we love to turn up, Halloween is not something to celebrate in most Caribbean homes.

In a lot of religious Caribbean homes, anything related to ghosts, demons, and spirits is a big no-no and unfortunately, Halloween isn't an exception. So dressing up as your favourite villain, carving pumpkins, and trick-or-treating was most likely not how you spent October 31st back in the day.

8. Gossip spreads like wildfire.

Everyone knows everything about everyone at all times – it’s a blessing and a curse. You may think you’re being discreet and keeping your private life to yourself, but you would be so wrong. There are truly no secrets in Caribbean families.

9. Finding biscuits inside a biscuit tin is a rarity.

The odds of finding biscuits inside a biscuit tin are slim to none in Caribbean homes. I think it’s safe to say that’s where my trust issues stem from. Looking for a sweet treat and instead discovering sewing equipment or hair accessories is a pain quite like no other. And don’t even get me started on ice cream tubs…

10. Stealing meat out of the Dutch pot is an extreme sport.

It takes a bit of skill, some luck, and a whole lot of bravery to successfully steal meat from the Dutch pot. Even if you somehow manage to sneak a few pieces out, putting the lid back on without making a racket is mission impossible. It’s a daily struggle.

11. There's always a barrel being sent overseas.

You’d blink and it would be time to send yet another barrel back home full of clothes, shoes, and anything else in decent condition. It’s all fun and games until your parents raid your wardrobe and grab anything and everything you haven’t worn recently. Missing a top? It’s probably in the barrel. Don’t remember putting it in there? Well, your parents probably do…

12. Plastic furniture covers are the root of all evil.

Some of you never had to sit on plastic-covered sofas and it shows. They may be protective but let’s face it, they're uncomfortable, unpleasant to look at, and noisy af.

13. Chores are not taken to be taken lightly.

Forget lie-ins, Saturday mornings were reserved for scrubbing the entire house from top to bottom (even if it was already spotless). The best part was being aggressively woken up at 7am by music on full blast. There’s nothing quite like Soca to get you in the mood for a deep clean.

14. Wearing ‘outside clothes’ in the house may as well be illegal.

Caribbean parents don’t joke when it comes to keeping their homes clean and that affects what can and can’t be worn inside the house. You’d be lucky if you even get ten feet through the front door without being reminded to change into your house clothes.

15. Your parents reminding you of their death-defying journey to school whenever you'd complain about anything.

If you ever moan about something trivial, you just know your parents are going to bring up that story to humble you. You know, the one where they explain how they had to travel far and wide, climb mountains, journey through lakes, and fight real-life animals just to get to school back home – not that we could ever forget.

16. While talking back is far more trouble than it's worth...

Caribbean parents are notorious for not sparing the rod. They are CEOs of tough love. So if you ever talk back or give them any kind of attitude, good luck to you.

17. But they may have offered to hold onto your money to ‘keep it safe’.

We’ve all been there. You’re on cloud nine after receiving money in a birthday card or from a relative and then you give it to your parents for ‘safekeeping’. Only to never see it again. And when you pluck up the courage to ask for it back, all hell breaks loose.

18. And finally, throwing away plastic bags is basically a crime.

You know you’re inside a Caribbean household when you find a whole drawer or cupboard dedicated to carrier bags. Some people hoard books, Caribbean people hoard plastic bags...

What was your favourite thing about growing up in a Caribbean household? Tell us in the comments!

Share this article.

Guyanese Online

CULTURE: 18 Things You’ll Only Understand If You Grew Up In A Caribbean Household

Some people hoard books, Caribbean people hoard plastic bags.

Ginger and Lemon Tea Solves Everything.

No Party Is Ever Complete Without Wray And Nephew Rum.

What do all Caribbean parties have in common? Good people, good music, good food, and Jamaica’s Wray and Nephew rum. There aren’t many things you can guarantee in this life, by Wray and Nephew making an appearance at a Caribbean get together is certainly one of them. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Leaving an Event With A Week’s Worth Of Food Is The Ultimate Life Goal.

The only thing better than dining at an event is taking home a lifetime supply of food with you. When Tupperware is nowhere to be found – which is often, let’s be honest – sometimes you have to get creative with your doggy bags. It’s the makeshift tin foil containers for me.

Notting Hill Carnival Is Arguably The Most Important Weekend Of The Year.

Notting Hill Carnival is like Easter, Christmas, and New Year’s rolled into one. It’s the bank holiday of all bank holidays and we Caribbean people do not take it lightly. Come rain or shine, the vibe is immaculate.

Everyone Is Late For Absolutely Everything.

It’s Highly Unlikely You’ll Have Met All Of Your Extended Family.

Every family gathering is an opportunity to meet more family members you didn’t know existed. There’s always another auntie, uncle, or long-lost cousin around to keep you on your toes. How many cousins do we have? THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.

As Much As We Love To Turn Up, Halloween Is Not Something To Celebrate In Most Caribbean Homes.

In a lot of religious Caribbean homes, anything related to ghosts, demons, and spirits is a big no-no and unfortunately, Halloween isn’t an exception. So dressing up as your favourite villain, carving pumpkins, and trick-or-treating was most likely not how you spent October 31st back in the day.

Gossip Spreads Like Wildfire.

Finding Biscuits Inside A Biscuit Tin Is A Rarity.

Stealing Meat Out Of The Dutch Pot Is An Extreme Sport.

There’s Always A Barrel Being Sent Overseas.

Plastic Furniture Covers Are The Root Of All Evil.

Some of you never had to sit on plastic-covered sofas and it shows. They may be protective but let’s face it, they’re uncomfortable, unpleasant to look at, and noisy.

Chores Are Not To Be Taken Lightly.

Wearing ‘Outside Clothes’ In The House May As Well Be Illegal.

Your Parents Reminding You Of Their Death-Defying Journey To School Whenever You’d Complain About Anything.

While Talking Back Is Far More Trouble Than It’s Worth…

Caribbean parents are notorious for not sparing the rod. They are CEOs of tough love. So, if you ever talk back or give them any kind of attitude, good luck to you.

But They May Have Offered To Hold Onto Your Money To ‘Keep It Safe’.

And Finally, Throwing Away Plastic Bags Is Basically A Crime.

You know you’re inside a Caribbean household when you find a whole drawer or cupboard dedicated to carrier bags. Some people hoard books, Caribbean people hoard plastic bags…

What was your favourite thing about growing up in a Caribbean household?

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#RevealToHeal: Growing Up with Depression in a Caribbean Household

Dr. Chrystelle Vilfranc

VanguardSTEM Conversations

I would like to preface this by saying that writing this post was especially difficult because my mental health is still affected by the stigmas that plague my community. These stigmas tend to have a negative impact on how I manage my depression and anxiety. Even as I am writing this, I am a bit worried about how this piece might be received by people that I know, especially some of my friends and family because my mental illness has not always been a comfortable topic of discussion.

On paper I identify as an African-American, but I am actually a West-Indian/Caribbean-American. For me, there is a big distinction there. I am a first generation American-born citizen and I believe that fact distinguishes how I deal with my mental health, in contrast my parents, who migrated to this country as adults. Growing up in a household with immigrant parents, mental health was not discussed.

When I started high school, I wrote a letter to my guidance counselor in an attempt to seek help. I walked around with the letter for a couple of weeks until I was brave enough to leave it in her office mailbox one Friday afternoon. The following Monday I was called to her office and we discussed her concern for me based on what I had written. She explained that she would have to call my parents and I would need to be picked up from school. I was terrified . Up to that point, I had dealt with my feelings of sadness on my own. (You can read my previous post about it here .) I tried my best to protect my friends and family from my own hurt.

I had no idea how to begin a discussion with my family about my depression. This would definitely feel like an ambush.

You can only imagine the shock that my mother experienced when she was called from her own job as a teacher to learn that her daughter seemed to be suffering from depression and would need to be picked up immediately from school. My school administrators informed my mother that I would not be able to return to school the following day unless I was evaluated. Although that was a difficult day for me and my family, it forced us to begin a conversation about my mental health.

The rest of the day was an emotional and scary day for me. I remember my brother picking me up from school and hugging me really tightly. As we walked to the train station and made our way home, he opened up to me about his own experience with depression and anxiety.

My parents, however, did not take too well to the situation. I felt embarrassed and horrible for putting my parents through that experience, including the psychiatric evaluation we went to that same night. At the evaluation I downplayed things to the psychiatrist and was able to receive an okay to return back to school. Shortly after that encounter, I found a counseling program at school that I could use to keep my situation more or less confidential.

I found a way to work on myself without alarming my parents. I never told my parents about the counseling program I had joined until certain discussions would force the counselor to report it back to my parents. Each time, my parents did exactly what was recommended, psychological evaluations, therapy (for as long as I would participate), etc. However, we could never have an honest open conversation about my feelings. Instead, I confided in three of my friends, as well as a counselor and therapist I was seeing at school, unbeknownst to my parents.

Whenever my parents would ask if I was still speaking to someone, I would lie for fear of disappointing them. I did my best to mask my symptoms at home, but there were times I was unable to do so.

My mother would criticize my sleep patterns and my appetite; however, she did not directly link those behaviors to mental illness and I hated that. For years, I harbored resentment for how my parents dealt with my first bout of depression, but as I started college something hit me.

Both of my parents are from poor households from two different Caribbean islands where mental health was the least of their worries. My mother and father are from very large families: ten and thirteen children households, respectively. Poverty was an immediate reality for my parents growing up, especially for my mother. Survival for both sides of my family consisted of two main tenets: always making sure there was shelter and a meal for the family. Despite many traumatic experiences that should call for therapy, it was never a priority for my parents. Each of them came to this country with one thing in mind: have a better life. To my parents, my siblings and I were (and are) blessed. We have always had a roof over our heads, clothes on our back, and food on our plates. This was everything my parents saw my grandparents try so hard to do for their families. My parents have always gone above and beyond to provide for our family’s physical and spiritual needs; but, my mental and emotional needs was unfamiliar territory for them. Neither of their cultures have a name for mental health, either someone is sane or insane (or even possessed). Understanding that fact was one of the first steps towards closure. I let go of the bit of resentment I had towards my parents because I was able to understand they did not understand or know how to deal with my pain .

Recently I have been opening up more to my immediate family about my current bout with depression, although I often experience some form of discomfort. While it is a bit easier to discuss with my siblings, there is still some discomfort and it is usually coming from my end. I consulted with them concerning sharing this story and they are 100% behind the release of this piece. I truly appreciate their support, but I often find it difficult to comfortably speak my truth. I am still working on that. With my parents, however, they are usually indirect and often ask a question that can be implied about the status of my mental health. They are aware that I am in therapy, but we don’t go into too many details regarding therapy. Baby steps . We are still working on this issue of avoidance and I am extremely hopeful that my journey with mental illness will help my parents feel more comfortable about discussing mental health. It is my hope that this journey that I am on will inspire others, especially those of us of the Caribbean diaspora to begin conversations surrounding mental health.

As promised, next time we will get into some research about mental illness in communities of color. I’ll be dropping some stats and sharing resources for us to explore. Until then, maintain and keep your head in the game ;-)

Written by Dr. Chrystelle Vilfranc

Cancer & Cell Biology PhD. A Queen from NY. STEM Education advocate. #VanguardSTEM #BlackandSTEM #BlackWomenSTEM #DiversifySTEM #RevealToHeal #BlackInCancer

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World News in Brief: Hunger grows in Haiti, Gaza aid blocked, World Potato Day

In Haiti, nearly 1.6 million people are facing acute food insecurity levels, increasing the risk of wasting and malnutrition among children.

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As people in Haiti continue to deal with growing hunger, UN agencies are striving to deliver goods and services to populations in need.

The World Food Programme ( WFP ) distributed more than 74,000 hot meals to over 15,000 displaced people in the besieged capital, Port-au-Prince, Stéphane Dujarric, Spokesperson for the UN Secretary-General, told journalists at UN Headquarters on Thursday, providing an update on the gang-ravaged Caribbean nation.

In addition, about 2,400 children received mental health and psychosocial support from child protection experts, he said.

At the same time, humanitarian agencies provided information sessions to more than 4,000 people sheltering in displacement sites on such critical issues as gender-based violence, protection and sexual abuse.

Nearly 1.6 million people are facing acute food insecurity levels in Haiti, according to UN agencies.

The UN Spokesperson also reported that civilians in displacement sites in Port-au-Prince had received about 13 million litres of water from UN agencies, partners and Haiti’s civil protection department since the beginning of March.

In the Artibonite region, Mr. Dujarric said WFP has provided cash assistance to over 13,000 people as part of its emergency activities and another 6,000 people in this region received food.

Following the recent tornado in the Bassin Bleu commune, which damaged more than 300 houses, WFP will also provide food for nearly 3,800 residents, he said.

Violence and blocked borders impede aid access in Gaza

In Gaza, the Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs ( OCHA ) said on Thursday that increased violence and blocked borders continued to restrict aid access in the enclave where hundreds of thousands of people are in need.

Humanitarians are experiencing “movement restrictions” to border areas which are causing delays in planned missions to collect resources from the Kerem Shalom crossing, the UN Spokesperson said.

“We need Israeli authorities to swiftly facilitate access to the crossing so that aid workers can safely reach the crossing to pick up supplies,” he said. “We also need safe and unimpeded passage to distribute that assistance to scale to people in need, wherever they may need it in Gaza.”

‘Catastrophic levels of hunger’

The UN and its humanitarian partners are doing all they can to aid civilians in Gaza, he said, adding that WFP is calling for blocked borders in Gaza to be opened since this impacts their ability to reach people in need.

“Constrained access to southern parts of Gaza risks causing the same catastrophic levels of hunger that has been seen in the north, and in central and southern Gaza, hunger levels are deteriorating fast,” Mr. Dujarric said.

He said WFP reported that some commercial supplies have reached the enclave, but the high cost means many civilians cannot afford the goods.

‘Israel must stop its campaign against UNRWA’

The UN relief agency for Palestine refugees, UNRWA , which serves more than 5.9 million Palestinians in the region, said conditions are dire, and in the last two days alone, more than 32,000 people have fled the escalating fighting in Rafah.

In a guest essay published on Thursday in The New York Times , UNRWA chief Philippe Lazzarini referred to unproven allegations Israel had made earlier this year against the UN agency and efforts to restrict its work in war-torn Gaza.

“As I write this, our agency has verified that at least 192 UNRWA employees have been killed in Gaza,” he said in the essay. “More than 170 UNRWA premises have been damaged or destroyed. UNRWA-run schools have been demolished; some 450 displaced people have been killed while sheltered inside UNRWA schools and other structures.”

He also said that since the Hamas-led attacks on Israel on 7 October, Israeli security forces have “rounded up UNRWA personnel in Gaza, who have alleged torture and mistreatment while in detention” in the Strip and in Israel.

“Israeli officials are not only threatening the work of our staff and mission, they are also delegitimising UNRWA,” he wrote. “Israel must stop its campaign against UNRWA.”

First ever International Day of Potato

It’s the world’s first ever International Day of Potato , and the theme is Harvesting diversity, feeding hope , with a focus on the ancient vegetable’s contribution to the lives of producers and consumers as well as the 17 Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs).

The General Assembly designated 30 May to pay tribute to the potato, an 8,000-year-old crop originating in the Andes mountains in South America that is now a staple food consumed by about two thirds of the world’s population.

Climate-friendly and resistant to drought, cold and barren land with wide adaptability, the potato contributes to the food security, nutrition, livelihoods and employment of people in rural and urban areas the world over.

Key crop around the world

Indeed, 159 countries cultivate potatoes, and there are 5,000 varieties worldwide. Nearly 50 per cent of current crops produced are used as the household staple food or vegetable.

Potatoes are a key crop across diverse farming systems globally, ranging from smallholders producing diverse heirloom varieties by hand in the Andes to vast commercial, mechanised farms in different continents.

Building on the International Year of the Potato, marked in 2008, today’s observance also recognises the roles of small-scale family farmers, a significant proportion of whom are women, in safeguarding the wide spectrum of the crop’s diversity, according to the Food and Agriculture Organization ( FAO ).

By 2030, the total production of potatoes is expected to rise by 112 per cent of current harvests, reaching 750 million tonnes, of which more than half is predicted to be produced in Asia, Africa and Latin America.

As communities around the world mark the day, both the cultural and culinary dimensions of the crop’s cultivation and consumption are also being celebrated, from pierogis to dum aloo.

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Michelle Buteau Sashays Into the Lead

Once relegated to supporting roles, this comedian is a star of the film “Babes” and is moving to a bigger stage, Radio City Music Hall, for her new special.

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In the warm glow of a restaurant interior, Michelle Buteau stands on a short staircase laughing and holding a cup and saucer.

By Melena Ryzik

“Oh my God, are we best friends?” the comedian Michelle Buteau said, 27 seconds into meeting me.

Honestly, it was a joke that felt like it could ricochet into reality. It didn’t. But that is the power of Buteau’s ebullient charisma, which telegraphs to audiences that her preternatural comic rhythm and dolled-up, side-eye style of delivery are in service of being a warmhearted bestie. To her TV, film, podcast and stand-up fans, she’s a moral center with a blue streak. “I truly, sincerely care,” she said, “about these bitches.”

The B-word is one that Buteau and her friend and co-star in the new comedy “Babes,” Ilana Glazer, roll and dice into multiple syllables and meanings , in a sisterhood built on tell-it-like-it-is endearments, unfiltered but uplifting, like Buteau’s comedy.

In “Babes,” which was directed by Pamela Adlon, Buteau plays an exhausted working mother of two young children, reconfiguring her life minute by minute, task by task, to accommodate her career, her family, her partner and her friendships. Also the occasional hallucinogenic trip and breast pump-destroying dance party.

In real life, Buteau does that (or most of it), and is both cleareyed and funny about it: “Every day feels like a panic room — I’m just searching for the next clue.” Having 5-year-old twins with her Dutch husband , a house in the Bronx, some dogs and an ascending, multistrand career is undeniably a lot; the movie reflects that, too. “There’s no such thing as balance,” she said, during a recent lunch interview. “You do what you can, when you can.”

In the last five years, Buteau, 46, has made the leap from a 20-year stalwart of the New York comedy scene to a headliner and the star of her own scripted Netflix series, “Survival of the Thickest,” loosely based on her 2020 essay collection of the same name, and heading toward its second season. With “Babes,” now in wide release, she also moves up from the BFF and assistants she played in Ali Wong’s “ Always Be My Maybe ” and Jennifer Lopez’s “ Marry Me ,” to a lead: the movie is centered on the friendship between Glazer and Buteau’s characters. It arrives as Buteau is preparing to film her second hourlong Netflix special, “Full Heart, Tight Jeans,” on June 6 at Radio City Music Hall.

Her stories in that show, which she toured last year, lean inclusive and positive in what the New Yorker critic Hilton Als has described as a comedy of kindness . It’s a style that bucks convention, the typical denigration of standup. She is “a luscious wisecracker,” he wrote, who “treats herself — and us — like a snack.”

Buteau has consciously positioned herself against other big-name comics who have griped about social change; onstage, she has called out Dave Chappelle by name for his anti-trans rhetoric. “I just want them to evolve a little bit more,” she said of her (largely male) peers. “I don’t know why it’s so unpopular to be open-minded.”

“I choose to lead with love because if I don’t — like, I would just be on the floor the whole time,” she added. “I’ve been through enough hard stuff,” including, as she describes in her book, reproductive struggles, colorism and body-shaming. “I want to be happy.”

Overstretched, she initially turned down “Babes,” which was filming right before she went into production on the first season of her Netflix series. But Glazer, the “Babes” co-writer and “Broad City” alum who’s been a friend for over a decade, repeatedly begged her to reconsider, trimming down scenes to fit her schedule. “She’s just a bright, shining star — she doesn’t suck air out of the room,” Glazer said. “She gives light, and then we’re all lit up.” Even when Buteau pokes fun, “it’s never seeking to destroy. It’s curious, you know what I mean? She is naturally celebratory.”

Buteau’s self-confidence is expansive. It must feel good to be you right now, Stephen Colbert told her during a recent appearance on “The Late Show,” ticking off her accomplishments. It does, she agreed. “But it always felt good.” In her last special, she described her looks as “an achievable Beyoncé for government workers.”

Buteau grew up in New Jersey, the only child of a Jamaican mother and a Haitian father. It was a deeply Catholic household — an uncle is the archbishop of Jamaica — with large, raucous gatherings, courtesy of her Caribbean extended family in Brooklyn, and an explicit reggae soundtrack. The B-word (or as she now sometimes says, “bish”) was always part of her vocabulary, she said.

Still, “I didn’t know I was funny,” she said. “I just thought I was surviving — trying not to get beat up in Jersey, or, whatever racist teacher I had, trying to defuse their toxicity.”

Her first ambition was to be an entertainment reporter, but a college professor told her, in front of the class, that she was “too fat to be on camera,” she recalled. “And I believed him, because Downtown Julie Brown” — the ’80s and ’90s MTV V.J. — “wasn’t a size 18.” Buteau went into production, becoming a news editor at local TV stations, where colleagues suggested she had the chops for comedy. That surprised her: “I’m like, really? I thought I was just happy. When I started working in the news, I realized how sad people were.”

Buteau’s stand-up origin story is either depressing or uniquely hopeful: She first got onstage on Sept. 14, 2001, after editing footage about the attacks three days before, and realizing she needed a different path.

Her family was not initially supportive. Talking about penises onstage “after he paid for college in cash?” she said of her father, an international auditor. Her mother, a customs broker, “was really sad.” And she didn’t want to ask them for money. So she continued to work her midnight production shift, going from comedy clubs to the newsroom, for six years, building up her network of besties along the way.

“I met Michelle at a grimy club in San Francisco that doesn’t exist anymore,” Wong, the comedian and Emmy-winning actress, said. “I was truly blown away by how funny and original she was. And I knew that if she had traveled all the way to San Francisco to perform at a place where the carpet was riddled with dry semen, she was going to make it.”

Besides their comic chemistry, Wong cast Buteau in her rom-com because “she’s just a very nurturing person offstage,” Wong said. “I just wanted an excuse to spend a lot of time with her.”

Over a delightful pasta lunch on the Upper West Side, Buteau riffed on making things happen and loving New York. She once lived nearby, in a building that was like “a Jewish retirement center,” she said. “No one thought I lived there; they thought I was, like, a nanny. And then — I don’t know how this rumor got started — I was Harry Belafonte’s niece. I wasn’t fighting it. I was like, ‘Yes, Esther, that’s who I am.’”

Her material can be raunchy, but there’s also a layer of graciousness to it: If she had her own perfume, she wrote in her book, it would be called “Just Sassy Enough.” But she makes a point to showcase lust and relationships, like how her one-night stand with a tourist, Gijs van der Most, turned into marriage. He’s a photographer and furniture store owner , and she has mined a lot from their cultural differences , although now she’s careful. “I don’t want him to always feel like he’s content,” she said.

In “Survival of the Thickest,” her character, a body-positive fashion stylist reeling from a breakup after catching her boyfriend cheating, barely suffers a night alone. The comedy is not in her wallowing, but in her harnessing her inherent sex appeal and ambition, and she meets-cute with a charming Italian man before the end of the season. In “Babes,” she has a supportive and adoring husband (Hasan Minhaj) who helps her through the waves of overwhelm.

For Adlon, a creator of the series “Better Things” who made her feature directing debut with “Babes,” the idea was to upend in a sneaky way the traditional Hollywood pregnancy and motherhood narratives (ineffectual spouse; postpartum bodies that immediately “bounce back”). “I like to do TED talks inside of a Milky Way bar,” she said. “Like, it’s delicious going down.”

Buteau was instrumental. “She’s just a perfect comedy machine,” the filmmaker said — although for this role, Adlon did direct the comedian to do less. “She’s like, you’re tired — lean into that; be still,” Buteau said. She worked on quieting her grandly expressive face. “You know, in stand-up comedy, you don’t want to hear any silence,” Buteau said, adding, “Pamela’s like, ‘Just take your time.’ And that’s real life.”

In her own show, “Full Heart,” Buteau hopes to have that breathing space, too, to tell stories “and just live in them,” she said. “Playing these bigger theaters has really allowed me to kind of grow into the comedian I’ve always wanted to be.”

It was expensive to book and challenging to fill, but choosing a large, notable venue like Radio City — where she opened for Jonathan Van Ness, the “Queer Eye” personality, a few years ago — was meant to be an explicit message, she said, to other generations of performers, especially marginalized ones , that they belong on a big stage, too.

“I’m excited,” she said. “I mean, I want to take a poop every time I think about it. It keeps me regular, in more ways than one.”

Melena Ryzik is a roving culture reporter at The Times, covering the personalities, projects and ideas that drive the creative world. More about Melena Ryzik

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