essay about conflict between friends

Essay About Conflict Between Friends

Maria, Rosa and I are long-time friends, Maria had a birthday party for Rosa, I told them that I was not going to be going to the party because I will be out of town. But at the time that I told them, they was talking to each other about what was needed for the party and not paying any attention to me. So, I didn’t show up for Rosa’s party. Maria and Rosa got an attitude towards me, it seems like they didn’t want to speak to me or didn’t want me around. I stated noticing that anytime I say something they would ignore me then I wondered if our friendship came to a halt. This went on for like a week, so I started calling them and I stopped hanging around the same place they did. Maria called me one day wanting to know what was wrong with me and why I don’t …show more content…

I told Maria and Rosa that they were being so unreasonable by keeping quiet and just thinking that I didn’t want to show up. At the end we stayed friends, but it is not the same like before because the trust is not there. This illustrates how easily a simple misunderstanding can escalate into a conflict between friends. Good friends are expected to be reliable, willing to listen, caring and supportive. Friends should be able to work through what ever problems no matter what. Two parts to effective communication involves: presenting information and active listening. Without both, resolving conflict is impossible, as is maintaining your friendships. Practice these skills: Think before speaking. Know exactly what message you want to convey. Make sure your friend has your full attention and understands your meaning. Stay focused on the matter at hand, be clear and precise. Listen to yourself speak. This is just to show that Maria and Rosa had poor listening skills. Sources: Resolving Conflict: How to Turn Conflict In Cooperation by Wendy Grant. Element, 1997. Resolving Conflict with Others and Within Yourself by Gini Graham Scott, PhD. New Harbinger Publications,

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Have one of he or she’s friends ever dealt with conflict? Probably, Did he or she have a good point-of-view or bad point-of-view, And how did it affect your point-of-view. In Touching Spirit Bear by Ben Mikaelsen a summary is “After smashing peter’s head into the sidewalk he goes to an Alaska island, And after getting mauled by a bear, he goes back to Minneapolis but the circle makes him go back but he has to pay for everything, When Peter comes to the island Cole tries to make it right with him but after Peter beating up Cole Peter says that he forgives Cole”.

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Essay on Conflicts Between Friends

Students are often asked to write an essay on Conflicts Between Friends in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Conflicts Between Friends

Understanding conflicts.

When friends argue, it’s called a conflict. This happens because people have different ideas and feelings. Just like when you want pizza and your friend wants a burger. It’s normal and can happen to anyone.

Reasons for Arguments

Friends might fight for many reasons. Maybe someone didn’t share, or they broke a promise. Sometimes, one friend might feel left out or jealous. These are common issues that can lead to a disagreement.

Solving the Problem

To fix a fight, friends need to talk and listen to each other. It’s important to say sorry if you hurt your friend’s feelings. By understanding each other, friends can make up and become closer.

Learning from Fights

After a fight, friends can learn how to act better next time. They learn about forgiveness and respect. Remember, making mistakes is okay, but fixing them and moving on is what really counts.

250 Words Essay on Conflicts Between Friends

What are conflicts between friends.

When friends disagree or fight, we call it a conflict. It’s like when two people want different things and can’t agree. Imagine two friends who both want to play with the same toy, but there’s only one toy. That could start a conflict.

Why Do These Conflicts Happen?

Conflicts can happen for many reasons. Maybe friends don’t share well, or they get jealous of each other. Sometimes, one friend might feel left out or hurt by what the other said. It’s normal because everyone is different and has their own ideas and feelings.

Can Conflicts Be Good?

Yes, conflicts can be good if friends learn from them. They can talk about what made them upset and understand each other better. This can make their friendship stronger. But, it’s important to fix the conflict by talking and listening, not by yelling or being mean.

How to Fix Conflicts

To fix a conflict, friends should talk to each other calmly. They should say how they feel and listen to what the other has to say. It’s also good to say sorry if you hurt your friend. Sometimes, you might need a break to cool down before talking.

Conflicts between friends are common and can be fixed if handled well. It’s all about understanding and respecting each other. Remember, it’s okay to disagree, but it’s not okay to hurt each other. Friends who work through conflicts can have even stronger friendships.

500 Words Essay on Conflicts Between Friends

When we talk about conflicts between friends, we mean times when friends disagree or get upset with each other. Just like how sometimes you might not want to share your toy with your sibling, friends can also have moments when they don’t see eye to eye. It could be about small things like who gets to use the soccer ball first, or bigger issues like feeling left out of a group.

Why Do Conflicts Happen?

Conflicts can happen for many reasons. Sometimes, friends might misunderstand each other. For example, if your friend didn’t wave back to you at the park, you might think they are mad at you. But maybe they just didn’t see you! Other times, friends might want different things. If you want to play video games and your friend wants to play basketball, you both might feel a little upset.

Feelings in Conflicts

When friends fight, they can feel many emotions. You might feel angry if you think your friend was being unfair. Or you might feel sad if you miss playing with them. It’s normal to have these feelings, but it’s important to handle them in a good way.

Talking It Out

One of the best ways to solve a conflict is to talk about it. This means sitting down with your friend and telling them how you feel. It’s important to listen to them, too. They might have feelings that you didn’t know about. When both friends share and listen, they can often find a way to make things better.

Apologizing and Forgiving

Sometimes, saying sorry is needed to fix a friendship. If you did something that hurt your friend, a sincere apology can show them you care. It’s just as important to forgive, too. If your friend says sorry, try to let go of the anger and move on. This doesn’t mean you forget what happened, but you choose not to stay upset about it.

Learning From Conflicts

Believe it or not, conflicts can actually help friendships grow stronger. When you work through a problem with a friend, you learn more about each other. You also learn how to solve problems, which is a skill you’ll use your whole life.

When to Get Help

Sometimes, a fight might be too big to handle on your own. If you and your friend can’t stop fighting, it might be time to talk to someone like a teacher or a parent. They can help you understand the problem better and find a way to make peace.

Conflicts between friends are a normal part of life. They can make you feel upset, but they can also be a chance to make your friendship even better. By talking, apologizing, and forgiving, you can solve most problems. And remember, it’s okay to ask for help if you need it. In the end, working through conflicts can teach you important lessons about friendship and about yourself.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

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How to Handle Friendship Conflicts Like an Adult

Friends are the best. Having people who are there for you, support you, inspire you, and send you relatable memes (“lol it’s us”) is one of life’s greatest treasures. But that doesn’t mean you’ll never experience some tension (or, worse, a full-blown fight) with your friends. And that can be a major stressor in our lives, especially since most of us aren't experts at how to handle conflicts in our friendships .

If you’d rather stick your hand in an ant hill than bring up a conflict with a friend, we get it. Our culture tends to emphasize being “cool” and letting things slide. But that’s probably not helping your bond. 

“When we turn toward avoidance, we turn away from healthier connections,” says Miriam Kirmayer, PhD , clinical psychologist and friendship expert. “The healthiest, closest friendships are ones where people will say, ‘Yeah, we have had disagreements, we've had arguments, and we've been able to work through those together.’”

Not to mention that addressing and resolving friendship issues is great practice for other areas of your life too. Navigating sticky friend situations can help you develop the skills to get through relationship issues with partners, colleagues, and even children, says Dr. Kirmayer. 

But addressing problems with friends maturely and calmly takes practice, and you might feel a little (or a lot) uncomfortable at first. Take a deep breath, be brave, and try one of these techniques.

What to do if: You don’t feel like your friendship is being prioritized.

As with most beefs, you don’t want to assume you have all the information or that you know exactly what your friend is going through. One technique that therapist Chase Cassine, LCSW , recommends for these conversations: “Name the situation, say how you're feeling, and explain how you want to resolve it,” he says.

In the case of feeling like your friend isn’t showing up for you, that might look like: “Last week we had plans to hang out and you canceled. That’s happened a few times recently, and I’m feeling hurt. Can we talk about it?”

If this is a problem that’s been bothering you for a while, it might be worth getting a little more vulnerable about how it’s affecting your view of the friendship. Dr. Kirmayer recommends a phrase like, “The story I’m telling myself is…” 

For example: “The story I’m telling myself is that you don’t want to see me.” This allows space for you to share what you’re feeling, while also admitting that your truth is only half of the story. This way, you’re inviting them to respond just as honestly without judgment. 

What to do if: The friendship feels competitive.

If you both enjoy a little competition, then no biggie. Maybe they’re the Paris Geller to your Rory Gilmore and it just works. But if not, Dr. Kirmayer says to start with a little self-reflection. Again, it helps to hone in on the story you’re telling yourself, she says. Is there actual evidence that you two are competing in some way? Or are you maybe comparing yourself to your friend more than you should? You might just need to work on your own self-talk rather than confronting your person.

But if it does feel like an interpersonal issue—your friend can’t seem to hear your good news without trying to one-up it with her own accomplishments—address the problem as a dynamic rather than blaming your friend. “Frame it as something that's co-constructed,” Dr. Kirmayer explains. For example, you might say: “I've noticed that some of our conversations can take on a layer of competitiveness. Have you noticed that? Or does it surprise you that I’m saying it?” Your next move will depend on how your friend responds. For example, maybe your friend might explain that they’re not trying to compete with you at all—they’re super, truly, and genuinely happy for you, and they brag about how amazing you are all the time. Hopefully that helps you reframe the crummy feelings you’ve been having about it, so next time it feels less like competition and more like mutual sharing. Or maybe they explain what’s happening on their end, and you find that you’ve been playing into the dynamic too (whoops). In that case, you can brainstorm possible solutions together, like making an effort to give words of affirmation or congratulations before diving into your own good news. 

What to do if: Your friend’s comments feel judgemental or harsh lately. 

First, avoid generalizing, which is a really easy thing to do when feeling hurt. Generalizing looks like, “You’ve been really mean to me lately,” or, “You’re always saying negative stuff.” Instead, get specific and try to keep your tone calm , Cassine says. 

He recommends something like, “I want to talk to you about something that’s been bothering me. Last time we hung out, you said X. You may have meant it as a joke, but it really affected me.” The goal isn’t to punish your friend but to give concrete examples rather than being vague or passive-aggressive, Cassine says. Your friend might have questions or want to explain what they meant. To avoid a constant back-and-forth of you-said-no-you-said, try to keep the conversation geared toward the future rather than rehashing the past more than once. After you’ve both said your peace, how can you avoid these kinds of comments (or misunderstandings!) in future convos? Maybe you agree to skip sharing feedback on something that you feel a little insecure about—or you just avoid that topic altogether. 

What to do if: Your interests and opinions kinda conflict sometimes.    

Hey, friends don’t always agree on everything. Maybe it’s about what you like to do for fun (the party friend and the introvert friend), where you enjoy living (the city friend and the suburb friend), or how you approach finances (the friend who drops thousands on concert tickets and the friend who…doesn’t). When you have mismatched interests in these areas, it can be awkward to work out, and you might both end up feeling like the other one is criticizing your choices whenever they don’t align.  

Dr. Kirmayer’s recommendation: Don’t take their preferences personally, and remember that neither of you is wrong—or, rather, you’re both right. “Whatever tension arises isn't something that the other person is doing to you, it's something that they're doing for themselves,” Dr. Kirmayer says. Next comes compromise—but don’t freak out. Most people assume that compromise means one person totally loses out on what they’re looking for, says Dr. Kirmayer. But that’s a bad deal. Instead, compromise should be about brainstorming ways you can both get as much of what you want as possible.  

Let’s imagine you’re on vacation and you want to spend all your time at the beach while your BFF wants a museum buddy. There are lots of ways to solve for this that involve both of you winning. Maybe you split your time evenly, or maybe you come up with a third idea that hadn’t been on either of your radar—like a guided walk that gets you out in the sun and your friend immersed in culture. Or you can try to look at the history of the friendship and see whose “turn” it might be to pick the plan. “The important thing is that you talk about not just what the solution is but how you're coming to that solution together,” Dr. Kirmayer explains.

What to do if: You fundamentally disagree on something major. 

You probably have some friends that feel like they’re an extension of you walking around with a copy-and-paste of your exact brain. And then there are friends that you love and appreciate despite not being on the same page about some big things—like politics, religion, science, whatever. It’s absolutely possible to have friends with different viewpoints on these subjects, but if those viewpoints or actions feel discriminatory or unsafe for you or your loved ones, that can be a lot harder to work around. 

Depending on how extreme the situation is, you might be able to preserve the friendship by upping your boundaries . This might look like agreeing to avoid a certain topic, or it might mean deprioritizing the friendship so that you’re only seeing each other in larger group settings and keeping conversations more surface-level, says Dr. Kirmayer. 

But friendship should feel chosen, reminds Dr. Kirmayer, who offers a few key indicators that it might be time to choose to step away: “When the friendship comes at the expense of your well-being, when it’s a clash in values that leads you to feel chronically unsafe or unseen, [and] when you have done all you feel you can do and there doesn’t seem to be a change.” If that sounds like your situation, it might be time to let the friendship go . We’ll be blunt here: These conversations are rarely easy. Dr. Kirmayer recommends explaining what feels broken about the friendship and why the subject of this disagreement is important to you. Remember, the goal isn’t to convince the other person that your viewpoint is correct. You’re offering your perspective, acknowledging that they may have a different one, and expressing how you feel about the state of your friendship in those circumstances. 

What to do if: You’re caught in the middle between friends. 

Social media and buddy comedies might make big friend groups look ideal, but they come with their own set of issues. Like… if two of those friends are fighting, and you’re having to hear all about it. 

The good news? It’s a great time to practice boundaries, Dr. Kirmayer says. First, you’ll want to figure out what’s making you uncomfortable. Are they asking for advice? Are they forcing you to (or implying that you should) pick sides? Is it that they’re sharing information not meant for you? Is it that you just don’t feel comfortable hearing about it at all?

Once you figure that out, it’s time to tell your friends—probably separately. Be sure to remind them that you support them both and are neutral in this matter. Then explain what you are and aren’t comfortable with. For example,“I know you’re going through a hard time right now, but I’m not comfortable giving advice about our mutual friend.” Or you might say, “I love you both and I’m really not comfortable being in the middle, so I’d prefer we didn’t talk about what’s going on between you two.”

Your friends might have follow-up questions, and together you can navigate what is and isn’t on the table. For example, one friend might want to know if they can talk more generally about the falling out (like that they’re feeling betrayed or isolated or lonely, but not giving you a play-by-play), and you’ll have to decide whether you’re OK with that.

You might have to remind your friends a few times what you are and aren’t comfortable with before it sinks in, and that’s OK, Dr. Kirmayer says. “Set and reset” boundaries, she says. “The truth is it often takes people a few times to not just hear something but really listen and be able to follow.”

Wondermind does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a replacement for medical advice. Always consult a qualified health or mental health professional with any questions or concerns about your mental health.

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“Treat your friends like you do your best pictures; place them in the best light.” ~Unknown

I recently had a disagreement with a close friend.

There was a good deal of uncontrolled emotion on my side. I wasn’t expressing myself well and I knew it. I became more and more frustrated and less effective at explaining my feelings.

I found myself laying unwarranted blame on my friend rather than admitting openly that something was hurting me and I was feeling vulnerable.

Ultimately, he said the words I was having trouble finding for me, and that resolved the situation.

I was embarrassed and grateful, but I realized I needed to evaluate a few of my shortcomings to avoid making the same mistake again.

I also realized that what I was feeling wasn’t the problem.

It was my inability to effectively convey what was in my heart and on my mind that led to hurt feelings and further misunderstanding.

After much self examination, I’ve come up with a few tips to communicate effectively during a conflict.

1. Think about whether this needs to be said right now, in this moment.

Sometimes the opportunity will be missed if not.

In my case, I felt I needed to bring the subject up right then or I might not have gotten the nerve again. I went for it, but it could have gone better if I’d waited to form a well organized idea of what I wanted to say.

2. Think about the other person’s state of mind.

Is he/she tired, under other stress, or not in an ideal place right now to have a heartfelt talk?

3. Consider if you have a good handle on your emotions.

Also, consider if you have the proper perspective to deal with the potential consequences.

Email, texts, and cell phone calls are not an ideal way to introduce the need to talk about something substantial.

4. Hold off on the confrontation if you feel the time is not right.

There is a marked difference in avoiding a hard topic and thoughtfully planning the ideal time to have a potentially difficult conversation.

5. Focus on breathing to help control your emotions.

If you begin a difficult conversation starting from a place of controlled emotion and grace, the path will be smoother.

6. Keep your perspective broad and realistic.

Don’t place too much importance on a single talk. Most of the progress in relationships comes from a series of discussions as they unravel naturally. Try and stay in the moment and minimize added drama by bringing up old or irrelevant issues.

7. Listen more than you talk.

It’s fine to be heard, but if you are not listening to the other’s response, the discussion is pointless.

8. Avoid adding unnecessary drama.

These things never help to fix a problem and ultimately bring more hurt to all involved. These include ultimatums, yelling, threatening to cut off the friendship, name calling, and personal attacks.

If it comes to that, walk away. Breathe, step back, and allow some time before you try again.

9. Focus on what the person is trying to communicate.

I’m often reminded as a parent to listen to my children’s words and not necessarily the emotion behind them. Emotions are fleeting, and rarely final. They are simply a temporary reaction to the current situation.

My three-year-old sometimes throws temper tantrums when she’s frustrated, but if I listen and respond to her words, it often diffuses her anger. Many times she is telling me she is not feeling heard as the youngest member of our family. I focus on the simple phrase, “Mommy! Listen to me!” Not her screaming voice and kicking feet.

10. Acknowledge the feelings.

If you acknowledge that someone is angry or hurt, you can better understand the sharp or harsh words that may be coming from them. You can choose to help them deal with their emotions or let them regain their composure to talk another time.

11. Take a realistic assessment of your true feelings in the moment.

I tend to distort and add unintended nuances to the words that others say when I am upset. This has caused me a great deal of distress in past conflicts. I am not on the wrong page, but in the wrong book sometimes metaphorically speaking.

After such experiences, I find the other person saying “How did you come to that conclusion from what I said?”

This is a classic example of our ability to inflict the worst hurts upon ourselves.

If I realize that I am upset and try to hear the words being said to me as they are, without my running mental commentary, things come across much clearer.

12. Clear the emotional fog enough to receive the message.

If you need to ask for clarification or even repeat what you think the other person is trying to say, so be it.

13. Know that most well established relationships can weather the occasional conflict just fine.

It can even be an opportunity to grow and evolve as you turn a new corner of understanding one another.

The friend I argued with is the best kind. He challenges me to broaden my perspective. He is relentless in keeping me from settling and expecting too little from life. He pushes me out of the nest over and over when I get too comfortable.

Don’t avoid expressing how you feel for the sake of preserving a friendship.

The foundation of all relationships is grounded on honesty and trust. It’s okay to show weakness, to be wrong, or to just plain melt down from time to time. Each person has something to give and something to learn. Conflict might be considered the way to pass along such knowledge.

I am fortunate my friend knew me well and was willing to give me space and offer forgiveness. The next time I have something to say, I will try to remember this and be more straightforward.

Every challenge with another is a chance to better our response. They give us the chance to practice patience, respect for others, detachment, and compassion. The added benefit is strengthening our relationships and our ability to communicate.

About Nicole Franco

Nicole Franco is an emerging freelance fiction writer seeking representation for her first novel. She enjoys family, horses, travel, reading, photography, and making others laugh. To read more of her writing or hire her for freelance work, visit francowrites.com .

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Essays About Conflict in Life: Top 5 Examples and Prompts

Conflict is a broad and gripping topic, but most struggle to write about it. See our top essays about conflict in life examples and prompts to start your piece.

Conflict occurs when two people with different opinions, feelings, and behaviours disagree. It’s a common occurrence that we can observe wherever and whenever we are. Although conflicts usually imply negative aspects, they also have benefits such as stronger relationships and better communication.

To aid you in your paper, here are five examples to familiarize you with the subject: 

1. Useful Notes On 4 Major Types Of Conflicts (Motivational Conflict) By Raghavendra Pras

2. encountering conflict by julius gregory, 3. complete guide to understanding conflict and conflict resolution by prasanna, 4. analysis of personal conflict experience by anonymous on gradesfixer, 5. personal conflict resolving skills essay by anonymous on ivypanda, 1. conflict: what is and how to avoid it, 2. conflicts in our everyday lives, 3. review on movies or books about conflicts, 4. actions and conflicts , 5. conflicts at home, 6. conflicts that changed my life, 7. my personal experience in covert conflict, 8. cascading conflicts, 9. how does conflict in life benefit you, 10. the importance of conflict management.

“Conflict… results when two or more motives drive behaviour towards incompatible goals.”

Pras regards conflict as a source of frustration with four types. Experimental psychologists identified them as approach-approach, avoidance-avoidance, approach-avoidance, and multiple approach-avoidance. He discusses each through his essay and uses theoretical analysis with real-life examples to make it easier for the readers to understand.

“The nature of conflict shows that conflict can either push people away or bring them into having a closer, more comfortable relationship.”

The main points of Gregory’s essay are the typical causes and effects of conflicts. He talks about how people should not avoid conflicts in their life and instead solve them to learn and grow. However, he’s also aware that no matter if a dispute is big or small, it can lead to severe consequences when it’s wrongly dealt with. He also cites real-life events to prove his points. At the end of the essay, he acknowledges that one can’t wholly avoid conflict because it’s part of human nature.

“…it is important to remember that regardless of the situation, it is always possible to resolve a conflict in some constructive or meaningful way.”

To help the reader understand conflict and resolutions, Prasanna includes the types, causes, difficulties, and people’s reactions to it. She shows how broad conflict is by detailing each section. From simple misunderstandings to bad faith, the conflict has varying results that ultimately depend on the individuals involved in the situation. Prasanna ends the essay by saying that conflict is a part of life that everyone will have to go through, no matter the relationship they have with others. 

“I also now understand that trying to keep someone’s feelings from getting hurt might not always be the best option during a conflict.”

To analyze how conflict impacts lives, the author shares his personal experience. He refers to an ex-friend, Luke, as someone who most of their circle doesn’t like because of his personality. The author shares their arguments, such as when Luke wasn’t invited to a party and how they tried to protect his feelings by not telling Luke people didn’t want him to be there. Instead, they caved, and Luke was allowed to the gathering. However, Luke realized he wasn’t accepted at the party, and many were uncomfortable around him.

The essay further narrates that it was a mistake not to be honest from the beginning. Ultimately, the writer states that he would immediately tell someone the truth rather than make matters worse.

“To me if life did not have challenges and difficult circumstances we were never going to know the strength that we have in us.”

The essay delves into the writer’s conflicts concerning their personal feelings and professional boundaries. The author narrates how they initially had a good relationship with a senior until they filed for a leave. Naturally, they didn’t expect the coworker to lie and bring the situation to their committee. However, the author handled it instead of showing anger by respecting their relationship with the senior, controlling their emotion, and communicating properly.

10 Helpful Prompts On Essays About Conflict in Life

Below are easy writing prompts to use for your essay:

Define what constitutes a conflict and present cases to make it easier for the readers to imagine. To further engage your audience, give them imaginary situations where they can choose how to react and include the results of these reactions. 

If writing this prompt sounds like a lot of work, make it simple. Write a 5-paragraph essay instead.

There are several types of conflict that a person experiences throughout their life. First, discuss simple conflicts you observe around you. For example, the cashier misunderstands an order, your mom forgets to buy groceries, or you have clashing class schedules. 

Pick a movie or book and summarize its plot. Share your thoughts regarding how the piece tackles the conflicts and if you agree with the characters’ decisions. Try the 1985 movie The Heavenly Kid , directed by Cary Medoway, or Where the Conflict Really Lies: Science, Religion, and Naturalism by philosopher Alvin Plantinga.

In this essay, describe how actions can lead to conflict and how specific actions can make a conflict worse. Make your essay interesting by presenting various characters and letting them react differently to a particular conflict.

For example, Character A responds by being angry and making the situation worse. Meanwhile, Character B immediately solves the discord by respectfully asking others for their reasons. Through your essay, you’ll help your readers realize how actions significantly affect conflicts. You’ll also be able to clearly explain what conflicts are.

Your home is where you first learn how to handle conflicts, making it easier for your readers to relate to you. In your essay, tell a story of when you quarreled with a relative and how you worked it out.  For instance, you may have a petty fight with your sibling because you don’t want to share a toy. Then, share what your parents asked you to do and what you learned from your dispute.

If there are simple conflicts with no serious consequences, there are also severe ones that can impact individuals in the long run. Talk about it through your essay if you’re comfortable sharing a personal experience. For example, if your parents’ conflict ended in divorce, recount what it made you feel and how it affected your life.

Covert conflict occurs when two individuals have differences but do not openly discuss them. Have you experienced living or being with someone who avoids expressing their genuine feelings and emotions towards you or something? Write about it, what happened, and how the both of you resolved it.

Some results of cascading conflict are wars and revolutions. The underlying issues stem from a problem with a simple solution but will affect many aspects of the culture or community. For this prompt, pick a relevant historical happening. For instance, you can talk about King Henry VIII’s demand to divorce his first wife and how it changed the course of England’s royal bloodline and nobles.

People avoid conflict as much as possible because of its harmful effects, such as stress and fights. In this prompt, focus on its positive side. Discuss the pros of engaging in disputes, such as having better communication and developing your listening and people skills.

Explain what conflict management is and expound on its critical uses. Start by relaying a situation and then applying conflict resolution techniques. For example, you can talk about a team with difficulties making a united decision. To solve this conflict, the members should share their ideas and ensure everyone is allowed to speak and be heard.

Here are more essay writing tips to help you with your essay.

Maria Caballero is a freelance writer who has been writing since high school. She believes that to be a writer doesn't only refer to excellent syntax and semantics but also knowing how to weave words together to communicate to any reader effectively.

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French teenagers on a boat in the Seine river, Paris, 1988. Photo by David Alan Harvey/Magnum

Bad friends

Even the best of friends can fill you with tension and make you sick. why does friendship so readily turn toxic.

by Carlin Flora   + BIO

Think of a time when you sat across from a friend and felt truly understood. Deeply known. Maybe you sensed how she was bringing out your ‘best self’, your cleverest observations and wittiest jokes. She encouraged you. She listened, articulated one of your patterns, and then gently suggested how you might shift it for the better. The two of you gossiped about your mutual friends, skipped between shared memories, and delved into cherished subjects in a seamlessly scripted exchange full of shorthand and punctuated with knowing expressions. Perhaps you felt a warm swell of admiration for her, and a simultaneous sense of pride in your similarity to her. You felt deep satisfaction to be valued by someone you held in such high regard: happy, nourished and energised through it all.

These are the friendships that fill our souls, and bolster and shape our identities and life paths. They have also been squeezed into social science labs enough times for us to know that they keep us mentally and physically healthy: good friends improve immunity , spark creativity , drop our blood pressure , ward off dementia among the elderly , and even decrease our chances of dying at any given time. If you feel you can’t live without your friends, you’re not being melodramatic.

But even our easiest and richest friendships can be laced with tensions and conflicts, as are most human relationships. They can lose a bit of their magic and fail to regain it, or even fade out altogether for tragic reasons, or no reason at all. Then there are the not-so-easy friendships; increasingly difficult friendships; and bad, gut-wrenching, toxic friendships. The pleasures and benefits of good friends are abundant, but they come with a price. Friendship, looked at through a clear and wide lens, is far messier and more lopsided than it is often portrayed.

The first cold splash on an idealised notion of friendship is the data showing that only about half of friendships are reciprocal . This is shocking to people, since research confirms that we actually assume nearly all our friendships are reciprocal. Can you guess who on your list of friends wouldn’t list you?

One explanation for imbalance is that many friendships are aspirational : a study of teens shows that people want to be friends with popular people, but those higher up the social hierarchy have their pick (and skew the average). A corroborating piece of evidence, which was highlighted by Steven Strogatz in a 2012 article in The New York Times, is the finding that your Facebook ‘friends’ always have, on average, more ‘friends’ than you do. So much for friendship being an oasis from our status-obsessed world.

‘Ambivalent’ relationships, in social science parlance, are characterised by interdependence and conflict. You have many positive and negative feelings toward these people. You might think twice about picking up when they call. These relationships turn out to be common, too. Close to half of one’s important social network members are identified as ambivalent. Granted, more of those are family members (whom we’re stuck with) than friends, but still, for friendship, it’s another push off the pedestal.

Friends who are loyal, reliable, interesting companions – good! – can also be bad for you, should they have other qualities that are less desirable. We know through social network research that depressed friends make it more likely you’ll be depressed, obese friends make it more likely you’ll become obese, and friends who smoke or drink a lot make it more likely you’ll smoke and drink more.

Other ‘good’ friends might have, or start to have, goals, values or habits that misalign with your current or emerging ones. They certainly haven’t ‘done’ anything to you. But they aren’t a group that validates who you are, or that will effortlessly lift you up toward your aims over time. Stay with them, and you’ll be walking against the wind.

In addition to annoying us, these mixed-bag friendships harm our health. A 2003 study by Julianne Holt-Lunstad from Brigham Young University and Bert Uchino from the University of Utah asked people to wear blood-pressure monitors and write down interactions with various people. Blood pressure was higher with ambivalent relationships than it was with friends or outright enemies. This is probably due to the unpredictability of these relationships, which leads us to be vigilant: Will Jen ruin Christmas this year? Ambivalent relationships have also been associated with increased cardiovascular reactivity, greater cellular ageing , lowered resistance to stress, and a decreased sense of wellbeing.

One research team, though, found that ambivalent friendships might have benefits in the workplace. They showed that in these pairings workers are more likely to put themselves in the other’s shoes, in part because they are trying to figure out what the relationship means and what it is. Also, because ambivalent friendships make you feel uncertain about where you stand, they can push you to work harder to establish your position.

‘Frenemies’ are perhaps a separate variety in that they are neatly multi-layered – friendliness atop rivalry or dislike – as opposed to the ambivalent relationship’s admixture of love, hate, annoyance, pity, devotion and tenderness. Plenty of people have attested to the motivating force of a frenemy at work, as well as in the realms of romance and parenting.

A s with unhappy families, there are countless ways a friend can be full-on ‘bad’, no ambivalence about it. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist in Denver, and Sharon Livingston, a psychologist and marketing consultant in New York, have studied the issue, and found some typical qualities: a bad friend makes you feel competitive with her other friends; she talks much more about herself than you do about yourself; she criticises you in a self-righteous way but is defensive when you criticise her; she makes you feel you’re walking on eggshells and might easily spark her anger or disapproval; she has you on an emotional rollercoaster where one day she’s responsive and complimentary and the next she freezes you out.

In 2014 , a team at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh found that, as the amount of negativity in relationships increased for healthy women aged over 50, so did their risk of developing hypertension. Negative social interactions – incidents including excessive demands, criticism, disappointment and disagreeable exchanges – were related to a 38 per cent increased risk. For men, there was no link between bad relationships and high blood pressure. This is likely because women care more about, and are socialised to pay more attention to, relationships.

Negative interactions can lead to inflammation, too, in both men and women. Jessica Chiang, a researcher at the University of California, Los Angeles, who conducted a study showing as much, has said that an accumulation of social stressors could cause physical damage, just like an actual toxin.

Some of our most hurtful friendships start out good, but then became bad. Among teens, for example, the rates of cyber aggression are 4.3 times higher between friends than between friends of friends. Or as Diane de Poitiers, the 16th-century mistress of King Henry II of France, said: ‘To have a good enemy, choose a friend: he knows where to strike.’

The writer Robert Greene addresses the slippery slope in his book The 48 Laws of Power (1998). Bringing friends into your professional endeavours can aid the gradual crossover from ‘good’ to ‘bad’, he warns, in part because of how we react to grand favours:

Strangely enough, it is your act of kindness that unbalances everything. People want to feel they deserve their good fortune. The receipt of a favour can become oppressive: it means you have been chosen because you are a friend, not necessarily because you are deserving. There is almost a touch of condescension in the act of hiring friends that secretly afflicts them. The injury will come out slowly: a little more honesty, flashes of resentment and envy here and there, and before you know it your friendship fades.

Ah – so too much giving and ‘a little more honesty’ are friendship-disrupters? That conclusion, which runs counter to the ethos of total openness and unlimited generosity between friends, provides a clue as to why there are so many ‘bad’, ‘good and bad’, and ‘good, then bad’ friends. In his paper ‘The Evolution of Reciprocal Altruism’ (1971), the evolutionary biologist Robert Trivers concludes that ‘each individual human is seen as possessing altruistic and cheating tendencies’, where cheating means giving at least a bit less (or taking at least a bit more) than a friend would give or take from us.

Good people do attract more friends (though being a high-status good person helps)

Trivers goes on to explain that we have evolved to be subtle cheaters, with complex mechanisms for regulating bigger cheaters and also ‘too much’ altruism. He writes:

In gross cheating, the cheater fails to reciprocate at all, and the altruist suffers the costs of whatever altruism he has dispensed without any compensating benefit… clearly, selection will strongly favour prompt discrimination against the gross cheater. Subtle cheating, by contrast, involves reciprocating, but always attempting to give less than one was given, or more precisely, to give less than the partner would give if the situation were reversed.

The rewarding emotion of ‘liking’ someone is also a part of this psychological regulation system, and selection will favour liking those who are altruistic: good people do attract more friends (though being a high-status good person helps). But the issue is not whether we are cheaters or altruists, good or bad, but to what degree are we each of those things in different contexts and relationships.

P erhaps this seesaw between cheating and altruism, which settles to a midpoint of 50/50, explains why 50 per cent keeps coming up in research on friends and relationships. Recall that half of our friendships are non-reciprocal, half of our social network consists of ambivalent relationships, and – to dip into the adjacent field of lie detection – the average person detects lies right around 50 per cent of the time. We evolved to be able to detect enough lies to not be totally swindled, but not enough to wither under the harsh truths of (white-lie-free) social interactions. Likewise, we’ve evolved to detect some cheating behaviours in friends, but not enough to prohibit our ability to be friends with people at all. As the seesaw wobbles, so do our friendships.

Should this sound like a complicated business to you, Trivers agrees, and in fact speculates that the development of this system for regulating altruism among non-kin members is what made our brains grow so big in the Pleistocene. Many neuroscientists agree with his conclusion: humans are smart so that we can navigate friendship.

The psychologist Jan Yager, author of When Friendship Hurts (2002), found that 68 per cent of survey respondents had been betrayed by a friend. Who are these betrayers? At such high numbers, could ‘they’ be us?

We somehow expect friendships to be forever. Friendship break-ups challenge our vision of who we are

That scary thought leads me to ask: are we really striving to forgive small sins? To air our grievances before they accumulate and blow up our friendships? To make the effort to get together? To give others the benefit of the doubt? Are we giving what we can, or keeping score? Are we unfairly expecting friends to think and believe the exact same things we do? Are we really doing the best we can? Well, maybe that’s what most of our friends think they are doing, too. And if they aren’t being a good friend, or if they have drifted away from us, or we from them, maybe we can accept these common rifts, without giving into a guilt so overwhelming that it pushes us to slap a label on those we no longer want for friends: toxic.

When a friend breaks up with us, or disappears without explanation, it can be devastating. Even though the churning and pruning of social networks is common over time, we still somehow expect friendships to be forever. Friendship break-ups challenge our vision of who we are, especially if we’ve been intertwined with a friend for many years. Pulsing with hurt in the wake of a friend break-up, we hurl him or her into the ‘bad friends’ basket.

But, sometimes, we have to drop a friend to become ourselves. In Connecting in College (2016), the sociologist Janice McCabe argues that ending friendships in young adulthood is a way of advancing our identities. We construct our self-images and personalities against our friends, in both positive and negative ways.

As much as we need to take responsibility for being better friends and for our part in relationship conflict and break-ups, quite a few factors surrounding friendship are out of our control. Social network embeddedness, where you and another person have many friends in common, for instance, is a big challenge. Let’s say someone crosses a line, but you don’t want to disturb the group, so you don’t declare that you no longer think of him as a friend. You pull back from him, but not so much that it will spark a direct confrontation, whereby people would then be forced to invite only one of you, but not both, to events. Sometimes we are yoked to bad friends.

The forces that dictate whom we stay close to and whom we let go can be mysterious even to ourselves. Aren’t there people you like very much whom you haven’t contacted in a long time? And others you don’t connect with as well whom you see more often? The former group might be pencilling you into their ‘bad friend’ column right now.

Dealing with bad friends, getting dumped by them, and feeling disappointed with them is a stressful part of life, and it can harm your body and mind. Yet having no friends at all is a far worse fate. Imagine a child’s desperation for a playmate, a teenager’s deep longing for someone who ‘gets’ her, or an adult’s realisation that there is no one with whom he can share a failure or even a success. Loneliness is as painful as extreme thirst or hunger. John Cacioppo, a professor of sociology at the University of Chicago, has found associations between loneliness and depression, obesity, alcoholism, cardiovascular problems, sleep dysfunction, high blood pressure, the progression of Alzheimer’s disease, cynical world views and suicidal thoughts. But if you have friend problems, you have friends – and that means you’re pretty lucky.

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Experience of Interpersonal Conflicts Essay

Interpersonal conflicts are inseparable elements of living in human society and building relations with other people. Even though their scope varies, there are some universal strategies, which can be deployed to solve them, referred to as communication theories. The key to using them successfully is learning to identify the needed theory and finding the ways to adapt it to cope with a conflict on a case-by-case basis. This paper is an attempt to analyze the personal experience of the collision of interests and applying the course material to handling it.

There were numerous conflicts I was involved in, but I decided to choose for analysis the one, which is the most significant concern to me. Most children have conflicts with their parents without regard to their age and social status. I am not an exception to this overall rule. I often have conflicts with my parents over my choice of lifestyle and spending free time. The parties involved are my father and mother on one hand and me on the other.

The conflict is a lasting one because as long as I remember myself, my parents taught me what I should think that they know what is better for me. As I grew older, I believed that I was adult enough to make similar choices by myself deciding where to spend time with my friends or how to manage my day. Every time I tried to prove it to my parents, we started quarreling. I believe that the reason for the conflict is that they refuse to accept that I have grown up.

Even though my father and mother want to protect me from making mistakes, which might affect my further welfare, I cannot see the reasons why choosing a hobby is a bad thing. The nature of our conflict may come down to the fact that family ties have always played a significant role in making the life decisions of both mom and dad. So, it might seem appropriate to them to direct me throughout my life just the way their parents did.

Interfamily conflicts, i.e. the conflicts between children and their parents, have become the subject of numerous scholarly studies in different areas of research from psychology to communication. I believe that my case is closely related to the course materials and scholarly articles because the newly obtained knowledge might be beneficial for determining the appropriate model of communication with my parents and coping with the problem in our family.

As for the course materials, they are relevant because they serve as the background for identifying the nature of the conflict and identifying the strategies for overcoming it. Speaking of the scholarly articles, they are the sources of additional knowledge necessary to improve the understanding of the initially received information and finding the ways that have proved to be effective in cases similar to mine.

The primary matter of concern in our family is the issue of ineffective communication. The model of communication is often viewed through the prism of cultural norms and ethnic background. That said, there are different dimensions of interfamily dialogues. They are based on the perception of power and freedom to express opinions. For example, my family unit is characterized by what is referred to as vertical-horizontal orientation of power distance.

This type of strategy for building family relations implies more authority of parents to control their children’s lives regardless of their age (Shearman, Dumlao, & Kagawa, 2008). In addition to it, the findings of some investigations point to the fact that interfamily conflicts are often evoked not only by ineffective communication but also the discrepancies in the perception of life and central values as well as the differences in developmental needs, i.e. what is known as generation gap (Birditt, Miller, Fingerman, & Lefkowitz, 2009). These scholarly studies have become a supplementation to the course materials, which have not mentioned similar ideas.

There are different types of conflict resolution styles. For example, some authors identify withdrawal, positive problem solving, and conflict engagement as the primary strategies for solving conflicts. Withdrawal is characterized by ignoring the existence of the problem. It means that the parties involved do not recognize the existence and significance of the problem. The second strategy, positive problem solving, implies conducting negotiations to find the most appropriate and comfortable solution to the challenge.

Finally, conflict engagement is about losing control over situations and emotions and getting involved in the active conflict (Doorn, Branje, & Meeus, 2011). Cahn and Abigail (2014) highlight that people in conflict choose either withdrawal or aggression, which makes conflicts ambiguous and unpredictable. The authors also note that there are only two types of strategies, which can be used for handling problems – destructive and constructive.

Recollecting the findings of the scholarly articles mentioned above, it can be said that positive problem solving is a constructive strategy while conflict engagement and withdrawal are destructive ones. Even though withdrawal is ignoring the conflict, it might lead to its escalation in the future.

Communication is key to establishing a comfortable conflict-free atmosphere in a family unit (Galvin, Braithwaite, & Bylund, 2015). If it is impossible to avoid conflicts, there are different communication strategies, which can be used by family members. Some of them are aggressive, adaptive, protective, and inconsistent communication. Aggressive communication is characterized by overt conflict and verbal violence. Adaptive strategy implies functional dialogue, which is close to reaching constructive solutions. Protective communication is about determining that one parent is a protector of a child’s interests.

Finally, the inconsistent type is simply ineffective. It means that the preference is given to power instead of well-considered arguments (Haverfield, Theiss, & Leustek, 2016). Cahn and Abigail (2014) determine similar types of communication. However, they identify what is known as collaboration and compromise. The first type of communication is similar to adaptive communication while compromising strategy implies trading out the desired conflict solution by providing arguments and something of benefit in return for the demanded changes.

To sum up, while conducting this research, I have come up with several significant conclusions. First of all, I realized that the model of communication used within my family unit was ineffective and inconsistent. The same can be said about the deployed conflict resolution type. In most cases, I chose to ignore the existence of the problem, i.e. withdraw from the conflict. When I tried to make my parents understand me, I got involved in overt conflict using an aggressive communication strategy.

I believe that there is a perfect solution to my problem. The challenge could be handled if I use adaptive communication. I think it might also be useful to become open in expressing my thoughts and opinions instead of disregarding the issue.

Birditt, K. S., Miller, L. M., Fingerman, K. L., & Lefkowitz, E. S. (2009). Tensions in the parent and adult child relationship: Links to solidarity and ambivalence. Psychology and Aging, 24 (2), 287-295.

Cahn, D. D., & Abigail, R. A. (2014). Managing conflict through communication (5th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education.

Doorn, M. D., Branje, S., & Meeus, W. (2011). Developmental changes in conflict resolution styles in parent–adolescent relationships: A four-wave longitudinal study. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 40 (1), 97-107.

Galvin, K. M., Braithwaite, D. O., & Bylund, C. L. (2015). Family communication: Cohesion and change (9th ed.). New York, NY: Routledge.

Haverfield, M. C., Theiss, J.A., & Leustek, J. (2016). Characteristics of communication in families of alcoholics. Journal of Family Communication, 16 (2), 111-127.

Shearman, S. M., Dumlao, R., & Kagawa, N. (2008). Cultural variations in accounts by American and Japanese young adults: Recalling a major conflict with parents. Journal of Family Communication, 8 (3), 186-211.

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IvyPanda. (2021, April 26). Experience of Interpersonal Conflicts. https://ivypanda.com/essays/experience-of-interpersonal-conflicts/

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Resolving Conflict in Friendships

The other day I had a bit of a falling out with my good friend Alissa. I told a guy she liked about a conversation we shared, not knowing she would be so offended by it. After my disagreement with Alissa, I realized that I had some decisions to make as to how I was going to deal with this conflict.

Yes, I had overstepped my boundaries. No, I didn’t want to lose my three-year friendship with Alissa over a comment I made to the guy she liked. So now what? In my mind, the options were to let her go in hopes the problem would go away or to try to talk it out with her. I decided to attempt the confrontation.

Conflict. It’s a fact of life. It’s a fact in friendships. You develop a friendship with someone, and conflict is sure to occur .

Many superficial friendships end up being shelved after an argument because there isn’t enough depth to warrant all the trouble it takes to smooth over the disagreement. Unfortunately, even when the friendship reaches a deeper level, conflict continues to happen and can break apart a relationship.

First and foremost, talk the situation over soon after it occurs. And do it quickly! From my experience, people begin to talk about what happened while it is still fresh in their minds. Good, step in the right direction, right? Well, not always… particularly when the talking isn’t with the person involved, but with other friends or acquaintances.

People begin to pick sides. The gossip circulates and all of a sudden, friends become enemies. Suddenly everyone is mad at everyone else. So, be sure to talk with the person with whom you are upset without the interference of people who aren’t really involved.

Resolve it the day it happens. One rule my parents follow in their marriage is that they don’t go to bed angry with each other. They always attempt to resolve things the day it happens so that in the morning, it’s a fresh start with no past grudges. I’ve found I need a short cool down period of a couple of minutes so that I don’t act in anger, and can instead act with a more rational mind. For some, counting to one hundred before saying anything may be an option. Whatever you do, don’t let things ride for too long. Even when you don’t see eye to eye, agree to disagree. Tell them that while you may not agree with what they’re saying, you still value their friendship.

Try to see the other person’s perspective. Sometimes if you sit down and talk things over, you begin to see where the other person is coming from. Realize that everyone has been created differently with various talents, abilities, and personality traits. For example, you might be a leader while your friend is more of a follower. You may be frustrated with him or her for not being very decisive. Yet it is important to understand that no matter what your quirks, each person is still unique and needs to be appreciated.

Here’s a tough one – initiate resolution. Be the first person in a fight to say sorry for your part. Even when you think the other person is wrong, it’s not a bad thing to say “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry if I offended you in that way.” If you’re honest, genuine, and gentle in delivering your words, there’s a good chance your friend will reciprocate positively. Use feeling words since no one can argue with your feelings. For example, “When you do this, you make me feel silly.”

Focus on the bigger picture. Successfully facing and working through the discomfort of conflict in a friendship has a worthwhile reward: a deeper relationship.

Don’t accuse by using the word, “you.”

Be sensitive. Try to offer solutions when appropriate, but know when to listen. Don’t underestimate the importance of a listening ear.

Most important, be loving in what you do. Don’t go out to “get” the other person, but try to focus on peacefully resolving the disagreement.

Resolving conflict in any friendship is not the most pleasant task, but it is worth the hassle because the result on the other end is a deeper friendship.

Reprinted with permission from Iamnext.com

This article was written by: Kristin Feenstra

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Ways to Resolve Conflict with a Friend

Friendship is a precious bond that can bring joy, laughter, and support to our lives. However, like any relationship, friendships can also experience conflicts and disagreements. Conflict is a natural part of human interaction, and it’s important to learn how to resolve conflicts in a healthy and constructive manner, especially when it involves a close friend. In this blog, we will explore some effective ways to resolve conflicts with a friend, including the benefits of social skills training with SocialSkillsCenter.com.

• Open and Honest Communication: Communication is key to resolving conflicts with a friend. It’s important to express your thoughts and feelings in a calm and respectful manner. Avoid using accusatory language or attacking your friend, as this can escalate the conflict further. Instead, use “I” statements to express how you feel, such as “I feel hurt when you don’t include me in your plans” or “I’m frustrated because I feel like you’re not listening to me.” This allows your friend to understand your perspective without feeling attacked, and it can create a safe space for open and honest communication.
• Active Listening: Listening is an essential part of effective communication. When your friend is expressing their thoughts and feelings, make sure to give them your full attention. Avoid interrupting or thinking about your response while they speak. Instead, focus on understanding their perspective and validating their feelings. Repeat what they’ve said to ensure that you’ve understood them correctly. This shows respect and empathy toward your friend’s point of view, which can help defuse the conflict.
• Find Common Ground: In the midst of a conflict, it’s easy to get caught up in our differences and disagreements. However, finding common ground can be a powerful way to resolve conflicts with a friend. Look for areas where you both agree, and build upon them. This can create a sense of shared understanding and help you find a solution that benefits both parties. For example, if you’re arguing about where to go for dinner, focus on the types of cuisine you both enjoy and try to find a restaurant that offers those options.
• Practice Empathy: Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a crucial social skill for resolving conflicts. Try to see the situation from your friend’s perspective. Consider their emotions, experiences, and background. This can help you understand why they might be feeling or reacting the way they are, and it can create a sense of understanding and compassion. When you express empathy toward your friend, it can help validate their feelings and build a bridge to resolution.
• Take Responsibility: Conflict often arises from misunderstandings or miscommunication. It’s important to take responsibility for your actions and acknowledge any ways you’ve contributed to the conflict. This doesn’t mean taking all the blame, but rather recognizing your part in the conflict and being willing to make amends. Apologize sincerely if you’ve hurt your friend’s feelings, and express your willingness to work toward a resolution. Taking responsibility for your actions can show maturity and accountability, and it can pave the way for a resolution.
• Seek a Neutral Mediator: If you find it difficult to resolve the conflict on your own, consider seeking the help of a neutral mediator. A mediator is a third party who can facilitate communication and help you find a solution that satisfies both parties. This can be a trusted mutual friend, a counselor, or a professional mediator. Mediators are trained to remain impartial and provide guidance and support in resolving conflicts. They can help create a safe space for communication and provide strategies for finding common ground and resolving the conflict in a constructive manner.
• Take a Break to Cool Off: In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say things we don’t mean or to act impulsively. If you find that the conflict is escalating and emotions are running high, it’s okay to take a break and give yourself and your friend some time to cool off. Stepping away from the situation can allow you to gain perspective and come back with a calmer mindset. During the break, try to engage in self-care activities that help you relax and destress, such as going for a walk, meditating, or talking to a trusted confidant. When you and your friend are both in a more relaxed state, it can be easier to approach the conflict with a clear mind and a willingness to resolve it.
• Brainstorm Solutions Together: Conflict resolution is about finding a solution that works for both parties. Once you’ve communicated openly, listened to each other’s perspectives, and found common ground, it’s time to brainstorm potential solutions together. Be open to each other’s ideas and suggestions for creative solutions that meet both of your needs. Avoid being rigid or stubborn, and be willing to compromise. Remember that the goal is not to “win” the argument but to find a resolution that preserves the friendship and promotes a healthy relationship.
• Follow Up and Follow Through: Resolving a conflict doesn’t end with a single conversation. It’s important to follow up and follow through on the solutions and agreements that you’ve reached with your friend. Check-in with each other after some time to see how things are going and if any adjustments need to be made. Hold each other accountable for the commitments that you’ve made toward resolving the conflict. This shows that you’re invested in maintaining the friendship and that you’re committed to working through any issues that may arise in the future.

Benefits of Social Skills Training with the Social Skills Center

In addition to the strategies mentioned above, social skills training can be a valuable resource in resolving conflicts with friends. The Social Skills Center is an online platform that offers comprehensive social skills training programs for individuals of all ages, including adolescents in high school. Here are some benefits of social skills training in the context of resolving conflicts with friends:

• Improved Communication Skills: Effective communication is crucial in resolving conflicts, and social skills training can help individuals develop better communication Through social skills training, individuals can learn how to express themselves clearly, listen actively, and use respectful language, which can enhance their ability to communicate and resolve conflicts in a healthy and constructive manner.
• Increased Empathy and Perspective-Taking: Social skills training often includes exercises and activities that promote empathy and perspective-taking. These skills can help individuals understand and appreciate different perspectives, which can be valuable in resolving conflicts with friends. Being able to see the situation from the other person’s point of view and showing empathy toward their feelings and experiences can create a more conducive environment for conflict resolution.
• Enhanced Problem-Solving Skills: Conflict resolution often requires creative problem-solving. Social skills training can provide individuals with strategies and techniques to effectively identify problems, generate solutions, and evaluate the pros and cons of different options. These problem-solving skills can be applied to conflicts with friends, helping individuals find solutions that meet all parties’ needs and result in a win-win outcome.
• Increased Self-Awareness: Social skills training can also promote self-awareness, which is essential in resolving conflicts. Through self-reflection and self-assessment exercises, individuals can gain a better understanding of their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, as well as their impact on others. This self-awareness can help individuals to identify any triggers or patterns that contribute to conflicts and to take steps to manage them effectively.
• Strengthened Relationships: Social skills training can ultimately lead to strengthened relationships, including friendships. When individuals develop better communication skills, empathy, perspective-taking, problem-solving skills, and self-awareness through social skills training, they are better equipped to navigate conflicts and resolve them in a healthy and constructive manner. This can lead to stronger and more resilient friendships; conflicts are inevitable in any relationship, but how we handle them can make all the difference in maintaining a healthy and positive connection with our friends.

The Social Skills Center is an excellent resource for individuals looking to improve their social skills and enhance their conflict resolution abilities. Their comprehensive social skills training programs are designed to cater to the unique needs of adolescents in high school, providing them with the necessary tools and techniques to navigate various social situations, including conflicts with friends. The online platform offers a user-friendly interface, interactive activities, and practical strategies that can be applied in real-life situations.

Conflicts with friends are a normal part of human relationships, and they can be resolved in a healthy and constructive manner with effective communication, active listening, empathy, perspective-taking, problem-solving skills, and self-awareness. By following the strategies outlined in this blog and considering social skills training with the Social Skills Center, individuals can develop the necessary skills to navigate conflicts and maintain healthy friendships. Remember that conflict can be an opportunity for growth, understanding, and strengthening relationships. With open-mindedness, patience, and a willingness to work through differences, conflicts can be resolved, and friendships can flourish. So, the next time you find yourself in a conflict with a friend, take a step back, reflect on these strategies, and approach the situation with a positive and proactive mindset. Happy resolving!

Interested in one of our group social skill groups ?  Get started today!

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The Art of Friendship: How to Address and Respond to Conflict

Learn the best methods for navigating disagreements with friends, whether you’re bringing up or responding to hurt feelings.

Friendships are love stories too. In the Shondaland series The Art of Friendship , we explore and appreciate the beauty and complexities of friendship, as well as what makes it so powerful. From expert tips on how to navigate conflicts and deepen your friendships to uplifting stories of reconnections and advice on making new friends, these stories are reminders of the joy, value, and meaning that companionship brings to our lives.

Taylor Lamb is friends with five women who have known one another for the better part of the last seven years. Following their college years at the University of Virginia, the group became more intentional about maintaining their bond when proximity no longer bound them together. They revved up a group chat, held virtual hangouts around the holidays, and committed to always celebrating birthdays in person — even if it meant jumping on a train or a plane.

After a few years, each of the women ended up in the mid-Atlantic region for work, medical school, or law school. While they were physically close again, they began experiencing splinters in their seven-year friendship for the first time when some members of the group started backing out of planned gatherings at the last minute.

“I feel like people were feeling unheard and wanting more support,” Lamb says of the rift. The 25-year-old community engagement associate recognized that navigating the pandemic made communication even more difficult. “It just seemed like we all just needed to get in a room and talk.”

Lamb reached out to each friend individually and gauged their willingness for a group conversation; they all agreed to have one. In early May, they gathered in person (with one friend tuning in virtually) to have an open discussion with Lamb as their facilitator. With conversational guidelines painted onto a poster as a North Star, the ground rules were set. The gentle reminders encouraged the women to release any spirit of defensiveness, refrain from interrupting others, assume best intent — but mind impact — pause and take a deep breath if needed, and partake in other helpful actions.

To start, Lamb acknowledged that conflict is hard, especially for those who did not grow up encouraged to talk about their feelings or were unable to do so in a safe space. “I feel like acknowledging that made people not want to be reactive,” she says. Her goal wasn’t to come with an agenda but to “hold the space” for her friends to feel like they could share their thoughts safely. She opened the floor by asking who wanted to speak first, and each individual shared how they were feeling.

“The conclusions we came to,” Lamb says, “were that people had expectations of what they needed to be cared for, but they never said those.” She adds that bell hooks’ All About Love inspired how she approaches her relationships. “Me personally being an abolitionist and wanting to build a new world, we have to be willing to talk about our issues. And expecting other people to know how we feel is not what love really is.”

William Morrow & Company All About Love: New Visions

Before the exchange concluded, they each took turns expressing what makes them feel cared for, sharing their love language and coming up with specific communication guidelines to use moving forward. It dawned on Lamb that these women didn’t only want to be in one another’s lives for the good times, but that they cared about and valued one another enough to stick it out through the hard ones too. “I feel really happy that we’re all committed to our friendship in this way,” she says. “I feel closer to them.”

There’s a glaring absence of dialogue today on how to work through conflict with friends. The popular belief that a friendship shouldn’t make you uncomfortable and that you should cut someone off at the first sign of tension or disappointment has seeped into the collective consciousness, but relationship experts agree: That’s not real friendship.

Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make — and Keep — Friends

Conflict is not an automatic sign that a friendship will end; addressing it can be a signal that both parties are committed to the relationship. Many people talk themselves out of bringing up an issue because they don’t want to seem as if they’re the problem, but withholding discomfort can manifest itself in another way, whether through withdrawal or resentment. “Think of it as something that will help not hurt,” says female friendship coach and educator Danielle Bayard Jackson .

Why should you address conflict with friends?

Honing your ability to work through conflict in a long-term platonic relationship is no different than learning to do so in a committed romantic partnership. Many withhold their feelings out of the fear that they will be perceived as dramatic or difficult or that it will tear the friendship apart, but with a real friend, that’s not the case. A 2012 paper found that open, non-blaming conversations lead to deeper intimacy between people, as opposed to not having those conversations at all.

Psychoanalyst Virginia Goldner came up with a concept for the illusion of closeness without conflict: flaccid safety versus dynamic safety . Flaccid safety is the sense of stability within a relationship when we pretend that nothing is bothering us. Dynamic safety is a more robust, deeper level of intimacy that is achieved when there’s rupture and repair, or in Goldner’s words, a cycle of “risk-taking and resolution” or “separation and reunion.” There is trust in the knowledge that issues will less easily come between friends and authentic comfort in the shared history that you are willing to work through hard emotions together.

“That closeness that you want with the friend where you feel like you can be yourself and you can say anything that we all dreamily speak of — to achieve that, sometimes you have to go through the awkwardness of bringing up something that makes you feel uncomfortable,” says Jackson. “It gives her a chance to demonstrate: I love you. I care about you. I hear you. We might get into it. We might disagree. All those things. But once we work it out, I’m going to feel more connected to you than I did before. That is not possible without having a difficult moment.”

When the challenge arises, don’t run from the chance to deepen your bond. Here’s how to address conflict with a friend, whether you’re bringing up the issue or responding to your loved one’s concern.

How to Address Conflict

Examine the problem

Coping with conflict is the goal, but that doesn’t mean you have to confront your friend every single time they do something that bothers or annoys you. A helpful way to assess if it’s worth going to them about it is if it is a recurring issue or a situation that has continued to affect how you perceive your friend and how you show up in your friendship.

“Anger is a signal that there might be some conflict to address, because anger tends to be a signal that there’s an injustice that’s happening,” Franco says. While this is true, Franco notes that we can acknowledge our anger without it being the emotion that guides the conversation.

Assess the relationship

Your level of closeness to the person is a factor worth considering when deciding whether to bring up an issue with your friend. Franco suggests, “If it’s not a friend that you’re particularly close to or if it’s a newer friend and you already find yourself getting into conflict, ask yourself: Is this a sign that this is maybe not a good friendship for me?”

Franco adds, “Generally, I say that if it’s a friend you’ve had for a long time, and you have each other’s best interests at heart, it’s always worth it to address it.” Conflict isn’t automatically an indicator of incompatibility; it may simply be the sign of differing preferences that can be bridged with communication.

Define timing

As the saying goes — timing is everything. “Ask yourself, ‘If this goes wrong, do I really have the capacity to tolerate that?’ You will hopefully say yes to that question,” Franco says. Emotional regulation is key to an effective conversation, and we are better at regulating our emotions when we’ve slept well , exercised, meditated, and are in a physically good space in addition to our mental one.

While you shouldn’t continually use personal struggles as an excuse to keep putting off the discussion, it is important to consider if you have the immediate capacity for it. Carve out an entire afternoon — or day, if you need it — so that you aren’t rushing through your chat and have time to process any emotions you may feel afterward.

Provide a warning

When it comes to conflict resolution, don’t surprise your friend with the topic. If you’ve given yourself a chance to prepare for the conversation, you should also extend the same courtesy to your friend. “If their pet just died or they’re going through a breakup,” Franco says, “they might just not have the capacity to do conflict well.”

Consider if they are in a space where they can actually receive and process your feelings. If not, it’s likely that they will go into fight-or-flight mode, and the discussion could be doomed from the start. While it’s important to be thoughtful, don’t make assumptions about whether your friend is in a good or bad space. Trust in their ability to decide for themselves, and ask gently ahead of time.

“I like to text an introduction to the conflict,” Franco says. You don’t have to be specific, but you can let them know that you have something on your mind you want to work through together and ask if they’d be up for talking about it.

Lean into vulnerability

If you feel nervous about bringing your feelings up, that may be a signal that it’s worth sharing. You don’t have to wait until you’re feeling confident about it; use those authentic feelings as leverage.

Jackson encourages resolution-seekers to acknowledge their messy emotions rather than shy away from them. “A lot of us feel anxious or vulnerable bringing it up,” she says, “but it can actually work in our favor.” Start the conversation by being honest about your nerves. (Jackson provides a few scripts: “I’m hesitant to bring this up because the last thing I want is for it to be awkward” or “I’m nervous, but I want to be open with you, and I hope you’d do the same for me.”)

If a friend sees that you have been thoughtful and considerate, it may ease their nerves as well and expand their ability to receive your emotions. “Being that transparent about your internal dilemma sometimes works for you,” Jackson notes, “in bringing down their walls.”

Use inviting language

When it comes to conflict, how you start the conversation influences the mood, tone, and direction of the talk more than you know. Franco calls this framing, or using verbiage that welcomes your friend in rather than alienates them. She gives ​​an example of a positive framing script: “Hey, our friendship is really important to me, so I want to make sure we talk through things so that they don’t get between us. I was wondering if we can talk about something that’s been on my mind.”

It’s a warm way to remind your friend — and yourself — that you’re on the same team, not opposing sides. “You’re telling them how to interpret this,” Franco says. “That this is an act of love and a sign of your investment in the friendship, so the framing line is really important.”

Speak to your reality, not theirs

Addressing conflict isn’t about right or wrong; it’s about coming to a sense of mutual understanding. When sharing your dilemma, keep the focus of your words on you and how you feel by using “I” statements. Start by expressing how it made you feel when your friend did what they did. Don’t blame them, project assumptions onto them, or attack their character or ability to be a friend overall.

Think of it as a moment to share how it made you feel. Remember: Feelings are information, not fact. You have every right to feel let down that a friend bailed on you at the last minute, for example, but it doesn’t mean that your friend plotted to let you down.

Ask about their experience

After sharing your hurt, put on your listening ears, and listen to where your friend was coming from. Franco recommends asking about what was going on for them at that time, and what might have gotten in the way for them. “What you’re trying to do in a larger way is to embrace something called mutuality, which means you’re considering their experience and your experience at the same time instead of only thinking about yourself or thinking about them.” Franco says true mutuality is not about right or wrong but about finding balance and understanding. You don’t need to kowtow to their reasoning, but you should hear them out.

How to Respond to Conflict

View it as an act of love

If you have been approached by a friend about how you’ve hurt them, remember that they care enough to bring it to you and are willing to be their vulnerable self with you, which is not easy for most people.

While it may be uncomfortable, it might be even more unpleasant to think what might happen if they didn’t come to you. There is a chance they may have withdrawn from the friendship and let you go entirely. “Remind yourself that this is an act of love that is there to heal us and bring us together,” Franco says, “and that this is your friend showing that they’re invested in you enough to want to work through this issue.”

Protect yourself from fight or flight

Whatever you do, do not take notes from dramatic TV show scenes where two best friends are shouting what they hate about each other from across the room and one person stomps out.

“When you’re in fight or flight, you’re not able to engage in mutuality. You’re only thinking about your reality,” Franco says. Do what you need to do to refrain from sending emotions into overdrive — even if that means you need to take a break during the actual conversation. “If you have the capacity to de-escalate, always do,” Franco says. “For me, I think about the idea of splitting into two selves. … I see the part of me that wants to escalate this, and I have this other part of me that is going to try to access my higher self for this conversation.”

If the dialogue grows heated, verbalize that you need a moment instead of shutting down. Franco provides another script: “Hey, that’s kind of hurtful. I hope that we can have this conversation in a way that we’re not going to be labeling each other or putting each other down. And maybe that means we take a moment here.”

Ask for time

In the heat of the moment, it’s hard to remember that we are real people and not characters we see on TV. The witty, speedy, perfectly curated dialogue on-screen is not always a reality. In fact, quippy back-and-forth dialogue can promote defensiveness and regrettable statements.

If your friend surprises you with their concern, you are allowed to ask for some time to process this new information. “No one wants to hear that what they’re doing is not good enough,” Jackson says.

To keep from providing a knee-jerk reaction or justifying your actions, take a pause, ask for a moment, and call back later, or even take a day or two. It will help your relationship in the long run and give you space to be receptive rather than reactive. “I think you’ll find it very liberating,” Jackson adds, “because the first thing you want to say is often not the route you end up really wanting to have taken.”

Depersonalize it

Whatever your friend might tell you, rather than spiraling out of control about how you may be a bad friend, succumbing to the imaginary conclusion that they hate you, or convincing yourself that may be too [insert negative adjective here], frame it as information instead.

“At the risk of oversimplifying this, I wonder how much we’d be able to salvage our friendships if we took a breath and said, ‘Okay. That’s not mean. This is data,’” Jackson says. If a friend conjures up the courage to tell you they don’t like how you spoke to them or that a joke hurt their feelings, remember that it is simply their preference. A certain word or action may trigger them, but it might not trigger you, and vice versa. It’s simply about respecting and honoring your friend’s request next time.

Listen to understand

Don’t be afraid to ask questions to fully understand where your friend is coming from. Whatever information you need, take this as an opportunity to learn more about your friend and your friendship. Before the conversation ends, let your friend know that you hear them. Confirm what has upset them, and verbalize that you care and understand where they’re coming from — no ifs, ands, or buts. If you would like to avoid hurting them in the future, express how you will go about it next time.

Mia Brabham is a staff writer at Shondaland. Follow her on Twitter at @hotmessmia .

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37 Examples of Miscommunication Between Friends

Friendship is one of life’s greatest gifts, but let’s be real, it doesn’t come with a manual. And without one, we’re all bound to hit a few bumps on the road. 

We’ve all been there—those little “whoops” moments when what we meant to say gets tangled up on the way out. You know how it goes—a text sent in haste, a joke that didn’t land quite right, or a comment that, well, let’s just say it sounded a whole lot better in your head.

And, what does it mean when your friend replies with just “K” ? Is it a time bomb ticking down to an argument, or just them being in a hurry? Keep reading, and let’s crack the code together and maybe even save you from your next “ whoops …” moment.

Table of Contents

Assuming a Text Message’s Tone Is Negative When It’s Neutral

You know the drill—you get a text that just says “Fine,” and suddenly your mind is racing. Is your friend mad at you? Upset? Or are they really just saying things are fine? 

Texting lacks the physical cues of face-to-face interaction, and missing out on someone’s tone of voice or facial expression can totally flip the script on what they’re actually trying to say.

But wait—what if the message was just plain old neutral?

Instead of allowing a phantom tone to set your mood, why not give your pal the benefit of the doubt or simply ask for clarification? “Hey, just checking. Is everything cool?”

A simple follow-up can clear the air and save you hours of needless worry. Remember, a digital “Okay” isn’t always a stern face; sometimes, it’s just an acknowledgment, as simple as a nod across the room.

Misinterpreting Sarcasm as Seriousness

You’re laughing over coffee, your friend throws a sarcastic quip, and it’s obvious they’re joking. Now, place that same quip in a text—without the laughter, without the playful eye roll. It lands differently, right?

Sarcasm and digital communication mix about as well as oil and water. Someone’s dry sense of humor can often be mistaken for serious criticism or snark when it’s just bits and bytes on your screen.

• What they say:  “Oh, you’re a  real  genius!”
• What they mean:  “That was a silly mistake, but I know you’re smart.”
• How it’s read:  “They think I’m dumb.”

When doubts creep in, reflect on past interactions. Are they often sarcastic? Would they actually criticize you in this way?

When in doubt, humor can be your best friend. A light-hearted, “Ouch, that sarcasm stung a bit, you good?” brings it out into the open.

Not Understanding Slang or Terms That a Friend Uses

Ever had a moment when a friend texts you some new slang, and you’re googling frantically to decipher the meaning? No one’s judging you at all!

Language evolves rapidly, especially with the influence of internet culture. This constant shift can make it easy to misinterpret what our friends are communicating.

While you’re getting the hang of “sus,” “snatched,” or “big yikes,” remember that not everyone is on the same page—age differences, cultural backgrounds, and personal preferences all play into it.

Remember to create an environment with your pals where it’s perfectly okay to say, “Hey, what does that mean?” Because, let’s face it, next month, there will be a fresh batch of jargon to decode, and keeping up should feel like part of the fun, not a homework assignment.

Not Clarifying Vague Plans and Missing Each Other

There’s a certain kind of headache reserved for when plans go awry due to a simple lack of clarification. “See you later at the cafe,” one might text, but which cafe? And at what time?

Imagine this: Two friends plan to meet for lunch ‘sometime after noon.’ One arrives at 12:15, the other at 2:00—they’ve both had their lunch separately by then. It’s a small hiccup, but it can cause unnecessary disappointment or even resentment in what’s supposed to be a pleasant experience.

So, let’s make a habit of being clear, shall we?

Misreading Body Language and Reacting Based on That

Have you ever interpreted a friend’s crossed arms as a sign of anger? Or their lack of eye contact as disinterest?

Body language is an important component of communication and misunderstandings here can quickly escalate. Without a proper grasp of your friend’s nonverbal cues or personal mannerisms, you might be reading too much into innocent gestures.

A friend might not be giving you the cold shoulder; maybe that’s just how they relax. Perhaps a friend’s avoidance of eye contact is just their reaction to a bright light or a shy personality trait. Without a script, we can’t let our interpretations of these cues set the stage.

Let’s look at ways to navigate this:

• Remind yourself that body language is personal and situational.
• Ask your friend how they’re feeling if their body language is giving mixed signals.
• Keep in mind some people use gestures and expressions differently.

Making Assumptions About a Friend’s Feelings Without Asking

“It seemed like she was mad at me.” Sound familiar?

Jumping to conclusions about a friend’s emotions can create rifts where none need to exist in the first place. We often interpret silence, short replies, or even a lack of emojis as indicators of a friend’s negative emotions toward us.

However, in reality, it’s often our own insecurities rather than the reality of the situation that leads to such assumptions. Open, heartfelt conversations are the antidote to these potential misunderstandings.

Communicate before you speculate—it’s a mantra worth repeating. And it’s these kinds of honest exchanges that can turn a potential misunderstanding into a deepening of the friendship bond.

Reading Too Much Into a Friend’s Social Media Post and Thinking It’s About You

Social media has us all guessing sometimes, doesn’t it? A cryptic post or an ambiguous quote can lead friends to wonder, “Is that about me?”

When friends post something like, “Some people need to learn respect,” it’s a challenge not to rifle through your memory, wondering if it’s a jab directed at you.

But pause before you fall into your own trap. Not everything is about you, sweetie.

Tips to avoid this pitfall:

• Remind yourself that not every post has a hidden message.
• If a post bothers you, ask your friend directly about it.
• Try not to obsess over vague statuses; they often have a broader context.

As with many things in life, social media content benefits from taking it with a grain of salt. It’s wiser to attribute shared quotes and musings to coincidence rather than subtext, but if it’s gnawing at you, a little honest convo can clear the air much faster than assumptions.

Here’s a potential conversation starter for when you’re feeling targeted by a post: “Hey, I saw your status. Just checking in to see if we’re okay?” This approach can not only offer peace of mind but also show your friend that you care about your relationship.

Expecting a Friend to Offer Support in a Situation Without Having Told Them You Need It

We can’t all be mind readers, despite how convenient that would be. It’s natural to hope for your friend’s support when you’re going through a rough patch.

However, they won’t always know you need them unless you speak up.

• Communicate your need for support; don’t wait for friends to guess it.
• Be specific about what kind of help or understanding you’re looking for.
• Recognize that friends show support in different ways.

Being vocal about our needs can make us feel vulnerable, but it’s also a chance to grow closer. By telling our friends when we need a shoulder to lean on, we invite them into our hearts.

They may show up with a pizza, send a thoughtful message, or just listen—the form varies, but the solidarity remains the same. In the end, it’s about creating a space where silent cries for help become shared bonds of support.

Misinterpreting a Friend’s Busy Schedule as Disinterest in the Friendship

In the hustle and bustle of adulting, juggling work, personal responsibilities, and social lives can be a challenge.

It’s easy to misread a friend’s hectic schedule as a sign they no longer value your relationship, especially when attempts to meet up fall flat or messages aren’t replied to as quickly as they once were.

Here’s a good approach:

• Respect that periods of busyness are normal and not reflective of their feelings toward you.
• Suggest scheduling a specific time to catch up that works for both of you.
• Foster patience and maintain supportive communication during these busy times.

Good friendships can withstand periods of silence. What counts is the quality of the connection, not the frequency of interaction.

The key is to find a rhythm that works for both of you, acknowledging that life’s pace changes, and so must the dynamics of our friendships.

Making Plans on a Platform One Person Seldom Checks

Communication platforms are numerous these days, and not everyone uses them with the same frequency. If you’ve ever sent a message on a social app and waited in vain for a response, only to discover your friend rarely opens that app, you’ve experienced this disconnect first-hand.

Ways to avoid this mishap include:

• Confirming the best platform for communication with each friend.
• Trying to have a couple of preferred communication methods in common.
• Sending a quick confirmation on the day to ensure the message was received.

It’s important to respect the communication preferences of each friend to maintain a smooth relationship. Knowing whether to send an SMS, a WhatsApp message or make a call can make all the difference in ensuring that plans are made effectively.

Taking a Joke Too Far Without Realizing It’s Hurtful

Humor is a wonderful glue in friendships, but knowing where to draw the line is a must. A joke may seem innocent and funny to you, but there’s always a risk it lands differently with someone else, especially if it hits their sore spot.

• Observe the reaction of your friend to ascertain their comfort level.
• Apologize promptly if you sense you’ve overstepped.
• Reflect later on why the joke might have been received poorly.

What’s said in jest can sometimes cut deeper than we realize. It’s a moment to step back and respect our different boundaries. Remember that what works with one friend might not be appropriate with another.

A key part of navigating this is to create an environment where your friend feels safe to tell you if something you’ve said hurt them. Open channels for such honest feedback will help ensure laughs never come at the expense of feelings.

Assuming Exclusivity in a Hangout Without Specifying

Ever planned a get-together thinking it was going to be just you and your friend, only to find out they brought along a couple of other folks? It’s like getting ready for a cozy chat over coffee and instead walking into a surprise party—not quite what you’d mentally prepared for.

When you don’t specify that you’re envisioning an exclusive meet-up, you can’t be too surprised if your friend has other ideas.

• When making plans, be upfront if you’re looking forward to one-on-one time.
• Understand that “hanging out” can mean different things to different people.
• Don’t shy away from reaffirming your expectations closer to the date.

So, the next time you feel like having that deep conversation with your friend, let them know it’s a “just us” invitation. This clear signal can prevent any mix-ups and ensure you both have the experience you’re hoping for.

After all, genuine connections are the ones where we can express our needs and have them met with understanding.

Forgetting to Relay a Crucial Piece of Information

Maybe you forgot to mention the dress code for an event or omitted the apartment number for an address. When something critical slips through the cracks, it can cascade into a series of confusions and mishaps.

It’s easy to underestimate the impact of missing info. You know the puzzlement when someone says, “I’ll see you there,” but never specifies where ‘there’ is? Suddenly, you’re in the dark, possibly wandering or waiting, when a simple additional detail could’ve set everything straight.

The act of forgetting isn’t usually a reflection of your feelings toward a friend; it’s just part of being human. However, making a habit of double-checking when communicating plans respects both your time and theirs.

Reading a Message but Forgetting to Reply, Giving the Impression of Disinterest

We’ve all done it—our friend sends us a message, we glance at it while doing something else, and then it completely slips our mind to go back and reply.

Unbeknownst to us, our friend may be sitting on the other end, feeling ignored or thinking we’re not interested in the conversation. It’s easy for them to interpret our radio silence as a lack of care when in reality, it was just an innocent slip.

• Marking a message as unread is a great reminder to get back to it.
• A quick reply, even if it’s to say you’ll respond in full later, acknowledges you’ve received the message.
• If you forget, a sincere apology and response as soon as you remember can clear the air.

If you’re on the other end, a gentle nudge can sometimes be the kindest move. It gives your friend the opportunity to right the oversight without any guilt or awkwardness.

Misunderstanding the Urgency of a Message

Ever received a message peppered with exclamation points and instantly thought it was a five-alarm fire? It’s easy to mistake someone’s enthusiasm or emphasis for urgency, especially in a text where cues like voice modulation are missing.

Texting “Call me!!!” could mean anything from “I have exciting news!” to “I need help right now!”

On the flip side, if we send a message that feels urgent to us but forget to specify why or how soon we need a response, our friend might not react with the promptness we expect.

Tip: Don’t leave it up to guesswork; a straightforward approach saves time and stress. And when in doubt, over-communicating is better than under-communicating.

Thinking a Friend Is Upset With You Because They’re Quieter Than Usual

Let’s talk about silence—not the comfy, “we-can-sit-in-silence-together” kind, but the “why-are-they-so-quiet” kind. 

Silence can be deafening, especially when it’s coming from a friend who’s typically chatty. You might wonder if you’ve done something wrong or if they’re giving you the cold shoulder.

• Silence isn’t always a bad thing; everyone has their ‘quiet’ days.
• Remember to check in, but respect their need for space if that’s what they want.
• Communicate! A simple “Is everything ok?” can clear the air.

Instead of cooking up a story in your head about why they’re quiet, why not just ask them? It could be they’ve just got a lot on their plate or they’re simply feeling mellow.

Most of the time, it’s not about you. Staying patient and showing you’re there for them talks way louder than any silence.

Interpreting Constructive Criticism as a Personal Attack

Criticism can sting, can’t it? Even when it’s meant with the best intentions. A friend is giving out a piece of advice, and instead of taking it as a helpful hint, we hear, “You’re doing it all wrong.”

This mix-up can turn a friendly tip into a friendly fire, which nobody wants. Here’s how to tell constructive criticism from a personal attack:

Before you react to criticism, take a beat. Ask yourself if your friend is really attacking you or if they’re pointing out something you could change for the better.

And remember, it’s totally okay to ask for clarification—like, “Are you suggesting this because you think I can improve?” Being clear can turn what feels like an attack into a conversation, and that’s when you really grow—not just in what you do but in your friendships, too.

Unintentionally Spilling Something Confidential

Whoops! You’ve let the cat out of the bag. We’ve all had that moment where you mention something you shouldn’t have, and it spreads like wildfire. Sometimes you don’t even realize it was a secret.

What to do next:

• If you slip up, own it. A sincere “I didn’t realize that was private, and I’m truly sorry” goes a long way.
• Learn from the slip. Make a mental note for next time, or even a real note if you need to.
• Repair the trust. Show through actions that keeping confidence is important to you.

Accidentally sharing confidential info doesn’t mean you’re the town gossip; sometimes, wires get crossed.

The best move is to be upfront and talk about it with your friend. It’s about rebuilding trust and showing that everyone makes mistakes, but you’re serious about making it right.

Expecting a Friend to Be Aware of Details That You Never Shared.

Ever been miffed at your friend because they didn’t celebrate your big work win, only to realize you never told them about it? It’s like you expected them to have psychic powers.

We can’t expect our friends to know something when we haven’t told them—that’s just setting them (and ourselves) up for disappointment.

How can we be clearer?

• When something’s important to you, make sure you actually share it. Say it out loud, send a text, or make a post.
• Remind your friend about the details, especially if you only mentioned it in passing.
• Practice the art of clear communication; it’s better to say something twice than to assume it’s known.

Reminder to self: Friends are many things, but mind readers aren’t one of them. Keeping them in the loop is key. By doing so, you enable them to be there for you in the ways you need.

Misconstruing a Compliment as Sarcasm or Mockery

Sometimes a kind word can be misunderstood and twisted into a sneer, especially if we’re feeling a bit insecure. When your friend says, “You look great in that outfit,” a little voice in your head whispers, “Do they really mean it?”

Doubt creeps in, and the intent of the compliment gets lost in translation. What to keep in mind:

• Trust that your friends mean what they say; give them credit for being genuine.
• If you’re unsure, a simple “Thanks, that means a lot!” can help affirm the sincerity behind words.
• Consider the broader context of your relationship—is there a history of sincerity?

It’s vital to reflect on why we might feel inclined to disbelieve positive comments from friends. Are there past experiences that color our perception? Or is it an issue of self-esteem that we need to address?

Assuming a Friend’s Need for Alone Time Is a Personal Slight

It stings a bit when a friend turns down your invite to hang out, right? You might wonder if they’re actually hinting at needing a break from you. But most of the time, it’s not a snub—it’s just them needing some me-time.

Take it in stride:

• Understand that alone time is healthy. It’s a recharge, not a rejection.
• Give your friend the space they’re asking for. They’ll appreciate the respect.
• Ask if they’re okay, but also trust when they say they just need to be alone.

Next time a friend opts for a solo night instead of a movie night, don’t let it bug you. It’s probably what they need to be their best self—for them and for you. After all, friendship is also about enjoying time together and respecting time apart.

Confusing Professional Advice From a Friend as a Personal Favor

When friends offer professional advice or assistance, lines can blur. We might take this counsel for granted, thinking it’s just a friend doing us a favor, without recognizing the value of their expertise or time. This confusion can lead to awkward situations where expectations don’t match the reality of the professional boundaries.

How to navigate?

• Keep personal and professional interactions distinct; acknowledge when a friend is offering their expert opinion.
• Establish whether you should treat their advice like a consultation or simply friendly support.
• If their professional input has truly helped you, show appreciation, be it through a thank you note, a return favor, or even an offering to pay for their services if appropriate.

Respect for your friend’s professional life and boundaries is important. They might be happy to help, but it’s also their livelihood, and understanding that balance is key to maintaining both the friendship and the professional respect.

Mistaking a Friend’s Private Nature for Secrecy or Dishonesty

Some of us are all about sharing, while others take a more low-key approach to personal stuff. It’s not that they’re trying to be secretive or dishonest; they’re just private.

Personal privacy is just that—personal. It doesn’t reflect on your friendship.

So next time your pal keeps things vague, remember it’s about them, not you. Giving them their space is a sign of a solid, understanding friendship.

Not Recognizing an Inside Joke or Reference, Leading to Confusion

Inside jokes are a blast, but when a friend looks puzzled instead of amused, it’s a sign they’re on the outside. This can lead to an awkward “you had to be there” moment, which can make friends feel excluded.

What to do when the inside jokes backfire?

• Read the room before you drop that inside joke.
• If it lands flat, fill your friend in on the backstory.
• Share the moment – make it inclusive or steer clear if it risks leaving someone out.

Quick tip: Bringing everyone in on the joke keeps the vibe upbeat and doesn’t leave anyone feeling left out. Keep the mood light and the laughs coming – for everyone.

Expecting a Friend’s Priorities to Align With Yours Without Discussing Them

When you’re super jazzed about something, it’s pretty normal to assume your friend will be cheering right alongside you. But what if they’re not?

What if they’re not sharing your level of excitement for that new yoga class or they’re less invested in planning your road trip? Well, that’s where expectations might need a tune-up.

What’s the deal?

• Realize that just because something lights up your world, it might not light up theirs, and that’s actually okay.
• Chat about what’s got you excited and ask what’s on their plate, too. Sharing is caring, after all.
• Consider their perspective and current life happenings. Being a friend means understanding that their world doesn’t always revolve around your interests.

Sometimes when you take a look from their side of the fence, you might realize that they’re juggling their own stuff, and it’s not about their enthusiasm (or lack thereof) for what’s important to you.

Remember that friendships are home to a whole spectrum of ideas, interests, and priorities, and that’s what keeps things interesting. Open up that conversation, and who knows? You might find that once they understand why something matters so much to you, they’ll get a little more fired up about it, too.

Confusing a Friend’s Neutral Facial Expression as a Sign of Boredom or Annoyance

It’s a fine line, isn’t it? You’re sharing an exciting story or idea, but your friend’s face is giving you… nothing. Zero. Zip. It’s tempting to think they’re uninterested—or worse, annoyed.

Before you dive headfirst into worry, remember that not everyone has a super-expressive face. What to do when faces don’t talk:

• Stay cool. Just because they’re not visibly cheering doesn’t mean they’re not internally clapping.
• Throw in a “What do you think?” to pull them into the convo.
• Know that a blank slate doesn’t necessarily mean a blank mind. They might be deep in thought, soaking it all in.

It’s like reading a book with a plain cover—you can’t guess the story inside just by looking at it. Sometimes, we’ve just got to turn the pages to find out more.

Believing a Friend Heard About Your Life Update From Someone Else

You’ve shared some major news on your social media or in a group chat. Later, you’re miffed that your friend hasn’t mentioned it at all.

Here’s the thing: Not everyone’s glued to their feeds 24/7, and posts can get lost in the digital shuffle.

• Give your friend a gentle nudge, like, “Hey, did you see my post about X?”
• Be direct and share your news in a one-on-one message or call. It makes it personal and ensures they’re in the loop.
• Instead of feeling overlooked, take control of your narrative. Share your stories with intention.

Just because it’s on blast online doesn’t mean it’s grabbed everyone’s attention. We all swim through a sea of content daily, and it’s easy to miss a wave or two—even the important ones.

A Friend Becoming Upset Over Actions You Considered Harmless

Picture this: you play a harmless prank on your friend, expecting laughs all around. Instead, you’re met with a frown, maybe even a tear. What was meant as a light-hearted jest has somehow struck a nerve. Despite your good intentions, your actions have upset your friend.

Everyone has different boundaries and thresholds for what’s funny or acceptable. A simple exchange can go a long way to ensuring future fun remains fun for everyone involved.

Here’s how you can steer through this rough patch:

• Apologize sincerely—acknowledge their feelings, don’t dismiss them.
• Discuss openly why your friend was upset; understanding their perspective can prevent future mishaps.
• Reflect on your actions from your friend’s point of view, respecting their sensitivities in the future.

When You Need a Listening Ear but Your Friend Is Preoccupied With Their Own Issues

Sometimes, you just need to vent. But when you turn to your friend for support, it seems that they’re also caught up in their whirlwind, barely noticing your storm.

It can feel a bit lonely when you’re ready to open up, and there’s no one there to catch your words.

How to deal with not being heard:

• Remember, everyone has their moments. Maybe today, they’re the ones needing the listening ear.
• Find the right time to share. “Can we talk? I really need someone to listen right now.”
• Be patient, and consider if someone else might be up for lending an ear at this moment.

A friendship is a two-way street. There are times you listen, and there are times you’re heard. Today’s their turn, tomorrow could be yours.

If You and Your Friend Have Plans to Hang Out, but They Bail at the Last Minute

It’s a bummer, right? You’ve got your outfit picked out, snacks in the bag, and you’re all set for a fun day with your bestie. Then your phone pings with the dreaded text. “Sorry, can’t make it.”

There you are, left with a plan that’s no longer happening. Again.

Let’s face it—life’s unpredictable. Maybe your friend’s got a lot on their plate that you don’t see, or they’re struggling with something they haven’t voiced yet. But that doesn’t make the frustration of rearranged plans and unmet expectations any less real.

Address the pattern:

• Express how you feel without pointing fingers. Something like, “I was really looking forward to hanging out. It’s bumming me out that we keep missing each other” gets the point across.
• Encourage them to be upfront. Are the last-minute changes really last minute, or do they see them coming?
• Suggest a different way to hang out that could be less prone to bailing, like a morning coffee instead of an evening event.

Remember, while you deserve respect and consideration, your friend likely isn’t flaking to hurt you. A calm and open dialogue can work wonders. It opens the door to understanding what’s really going on and can help you both find a middle ground.

Allowing Unresolved Issues to Worsen by Not Addressing Them in a Timely Manner

We’ve all been in that spot where a small rub with a friend seems too petty to bring up. So, what do we do? We tuck it away, not realizing that these little issues can grow into major tension if they’re not addressed.

What to do:

• Find a neutral time to talk it out. “I’ve noticed X lately, and it doesn’t feel great. Can we talk about it?”
• Approach the conversation with calm and openness. No one likes to be ambushed.
• Together, come up with a plan to prevent these issues from popping up again.

Tackling issues head-on (and early on) prevents them from growing into bigger, harder-to-handle problems. Clear them up, and you’ll both breathe easier. It’s like clearing the air – sometimes you’ve got to open a window.

Feeling Afraid to Say What You Really Think or Feel in Front of Your Friends

It’s like walking on eggshells, isn’t it? You’ve got thoughts bubbling up, but you’re scared they might spill over and stain the carpet of your friendship. It’s tough holding back because you want to be true to yourself, but you’re also not looking to rock the boat.

Here’s what might ease the tension:

• Consider why you feel hesitant. Is it the fear of being judged, or is it about not hurting their feelings?
• Practice stating your opinions in a respectful and calm manner; it’s all in the delivery.
• Remind yourself that true friends will love you, quirks, opinions, and all.

Friendships thrive on authentic exchanges, so while you’re being considerate of their feelings, don’t forget to honor your own.

If Your Friend Is Dating Someone Who You Believe Treats Them Poorly

This is a toughie. You see your friend’s significant other, and all your internal sirens automatically go off. They’re just not treating your bestie right. Do you step in and say something, or is that overstepping?

Here’s a thought process for this tricky situation:

• Reflect on whether your concerns are based on solid instances or just gut feelings.
• Talk to your friend from a place of care, not judgment. “I’m here for you, just want to make sure you’re happy.”
• Support your friend’s autonomy. They may see things you don’t, and they need to make their own choices.

Watching a friend potentially get hurt is painful, but being the one to help them see their worth is a testament to a true friendship. Just make sure you’re being fair, kind, and supportive, no matter what.

If a Friend Needs to Borrow Money

Money and friends—a combo that can go from “sure, no problem” to “uh-oh” real quick. Lending cash to a friend in need feels good, but it can also introduce some weird vibes if not handled properly.

Tips for keeping the awkwardness at bay:

• Lending money can alter dynamics; ensure both parties are clear to avoid a shift in the power balance.
• Be honest about what you can afford to lend without jeopardizing your own financial stability.
• Reflect on past experiences—if there’s a pattern of borrowing, it might be time for a deeper conversation about finances and friendship.

When you’re on the borrowing end, it’s just as crucial to keep things clear-cut. Show that your friendship is more valuable than any sum by being honest about your situation and diligent about repayment. Let them see that lending to you is a supportive gesture, not a risk.

Calling Each Other Out on Social Media

It’s a modern friendship quirk, isn’t it? One moment you’re liking each other’s photos, and the next, you’re airing grievances in the comments for all to see.

We know emotion can run high and the urge to vent is strong, but social media call-outs can leave deep scars that don’t fade easily.

The quick satisfaction of a public call-out pales compared to the lasting effects on your reputation and your friendship. Protect both by keeping disputes offline.

Miscommunication Can Happen When You or Your Friend are Tired or Stressed

We all know what it’s like to be running on empty, right? It doesn’t turn us into the best communicators. Our filters crash quicker than a poorly updated app. Recognizing this can help explain why your usually gentle friend is suddenly all caps and snappy replies.

• Cut each other some slack. We all have moments when we can serve grumpiness on the side.
• Signal to your friend that it’s a high-stress day so they know to tread lightly.
• If a conversation feels like it’s heading south, pump the brakes. Ask to pause and revisit it when you’re feeling more like yourself.

So go ahead, hit that emotional snooze button and revisit your chat after a good night’s sleep or some decompression time. It’s like a mini reset button for your conversation—and your friendship.

Feeling Jealous of a New Relationship

When your friend starts a new romantic relationship, it should be a happy time. But sometimes, those green-eyed feelings sneak in. You used to hang out all the time, and now they’re off in their love bubble. It’s not like you wanted to third-wheel forever, but you can’t shake off feeling a bit sidelined.

Dealing with jealousy can be tough:

• Remember, their new relationship doesn’t diminish your friendship.
• Reconnect over shared interests and plan regular catch-ups when possible.
• Express happiness for your friend, and talk about how you can maintain your bond.

It’s key to remember that friendships evolve as life does. Yes, it can sting when the status quo changes, but it’s also an opportunity to grow and find new dynamics within your friendship.

Final Thoughts

Laugh off the little things, confront the bigger issues with compassion, and never forget the power of a simple, heartfelt talk.

Remember, the strongest friendships aren’t the ones that never see a hiccup—they’re the ones that can weather a misstep or two and emerge with a chuckle. After all, isn’t that what friends are for—to learn, to grow, and to laugh about it all later?

Keep talking, keep listening, and most of all, keep cherishing the friends who stick around through the misunderstood texts and beyond.

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Clariza Carizal

Confronting Conflict With Friends

Difficult conversations are sometimes necessary..

Posted November 1, 2017 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

It can be difficult for some of us to get up the courage to confront a relationship issue, so it is important for these individuals to remember that friendships are relationships of choice, unlike family relationships that are relationships by blood or law. For most of us, this implies an expectation of some level of reciprocity in the relationship, and when you feel like you are being consistently shortchanged, remind yourself that it’s OK to share your feelings with your friend.

When you decide that it is time to address the friendship , some basic rules of communication and conflict mediation should be in place:

• Let your friend know that you would like to have a discussion about the relationship. No one likes having this kind of conversation “sprung on them,” so give your friend some advance notice.
• Choose a time and place that is agreeable for both of you and be sure to choose as neutral a place as you can. You might feel awkward sitting on her couch and drinking her wine when you are trying to address feelings that she isn’t as invested in the relationship as you feel you are, for instance.
• If you choose a more public place, like a park or restaurant or coffee shop, it’s also likely to keep the conversation more genial and less likely to result in strong emotional responses, whether it would be raised voices or tearful outbursts.
• An important reminder: Throughout the course of a friendship, always own your feelings. If it’s not OK that she always cancels out on plans after you’ve already picked up the babysitter, don’t spend months seething inside while telling her, “It’s OK, I understand. Maybe next time will work.” If you save up all your frustration over time, it’s likely to get the best of you once you finally get the courage to share your feelings!
• Listen to what your friend has to say once you’ve opened up your own concerns. She may not have realized the effect she was having on the relationship.
• Work towards a compromise. Unfortunately, some people believe that a compromise means a “lose/lose situation” because each person has to concede something. While this is true, every healthy relationship usually involves compromise and adjusting to others’ needs or wants. Friendships are no different. For a relationship to thrive, it takes two to make it work. Be willing to “give a little” in order to allow your friend to “get a little.”
• If your friend is not buying into your perspective, you may want to take a step back and see if your own assessment is as objective as it should be. If you reach a stalemate, you will need to decide if the friendship’s value is high enough to accept the relationship’s limitations.
• Remember, too, that there are always going to be multiple realities at play. What you see and believe is your reality but the same is true for your friend.

If the “real issue” is a problem behavior: she drinks too much, parties too hard, is always needing to borrow money or some other challenging behavioral issue, and she has no interest in changing, you need to recognize that your wishes won't make changes happen. You can change no one but yourself. Not everyone wants to be what others want them to be and you may have to decide when it’s time to draw the line and walk away.

Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D. , is a licensed counselor and professor at Northern Illinois University.

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14 Ways To Actually Resolve Conflicts With Your Friends

Fighting with friends is hard.

BuzzFeed Staff

Friend fights: If you have a friend you love, you've probably had one.

Or more than one.

And they can be hard to resolve.

We asked people in the buzzfeed community how they figure out their friend fights. here's how they deal:, 1. counting to ten:.

"When a friend does something that really upsets me or hurts my feelings, I first count to 10 to see if it's still bothering me. If it is, I try to explain to them what hurt me, and make sure they know I don't think they're a bad person and that I don't assume it was intentional. This "count to 10" method helps me pick my battles, which is the most important part.

A lot of the time, the things that bug me are just benign personality quirks. When the quirks get particularly annoying, I have to remind myself that they're doing their best, and that there's probably a lot of things I do to annoy them, too." — Terri Pous

2. Stewing in anger and eventually forgetting about it:

" Unfortunately, arguments are rarely properly resolved. Normally we stew over it, bitch, argue in real life and are even more vicious on Gchat. Then we calm down and wait for the other to forget it." — Jasmine Ahmed

3. Talking it out, even if that means hours-long discussions:

"My best friend and I never let an argument last more than a few hours. We can always tell when the other one is at their limit so when something big comes up we just sit down and don't stop talking until we've made peace , whether that takes a few minutes of venting at each other or hours of discussion. Ultimately the important thing to remember is that you have to really take in and listen to their problems and be open to compromise or the smallest issue can explode." — ruariphilipa

4. More talking, and also John Krasinski :

"When my friends and I get mad at each other, usually we tell each other soon after the conflict arises. We tell them why we are mad, be it over text or in person or on the phone, and try our best to resolve it then and there. We love each other and want to make things right as soon as possible so we can go back to obsessing over John Krasinski." — meganm43cfc878d

5. Speaking up if someone goes too far:

"Since both my best friend and I have a lot going on with exams and things we always try to just tell each other when we are not happy with each other. Also we make sure to ask each other regularly if a joke we make annoys each other or if the 'banter' is going too far!" — iamonlyhalfasian

6. Typing on a tiny screen:

"A well-thought-out text." — barigatorpilot

7. Apologizing ASAP:

"My best friends and I just look each other in the eye and blurt out what's bothering us. And if we ever get super angry at each other we fester for 1 minute and then immediately apologize. But what keeps us from having more than one argument a year is communication and understanding. We both know we cannot expect them to do what we do. We understand each other and communicate when we don't, that's how we resolve our conflicts. " — cathys4e59a52fd

8. Relieving stress with the help of some props:

"My roommates and I put our arms in our sleeves and slap each other with the sleeves until we're laughing too hard to be mad. Alternatively we fight with foam swords until the same end is reached." — nikkis4ff5e92e7

9. Sleeping on it to give things some space:

"I believe that the best method for solving a fight is to never leave on an angry note. Don't stop texting or talking to them because you are angry…keep talking and try to sort out your differences. If they ignore you, or stop talking to you, give them a night. Sleep can help clear up the brain." — danielb4c7f88efe

10. Guzzling down a drink or two:

"We drink. It's a big group so the combatants start at opposite sides of the room with buffers and everyone keeping an eye. As the evening goes on and drinking happens, we usually end up at a karaoke bar. By the time someone is belting out "Hero" off-key and off-beat, it's been hugged out or shouted out and life is grand again. " — nadiad45ae96bbc

11. Recognizing that life is just stressful:

"I usually think on it for about an hour and then talk to them about it. I try and see if there is something I missed that was going on in their life. I usually give my friends the benefit of the doubt. I know if they pissed me off it is usually nothing to do with me, they are just taking their personal life out on me ." — lindsayt4692defd9

12. Sitting down in a circle together:

"When there's a problem, the six of us sit down in a circle and tell each other what's wrong and why and we get upset. It's only for the best. The only rule is to never speak behind one person's back to another. You tell them straight and that's that. " — peachessb

13. Avoiding the question:

"Don't get into a conflict in the first place." — silverduzt

14. And, of course, walkies:

"I don't feed her any table scraps and she only gets dog food. She returns the favor by sitting on the other side of the couch and giving me the silent treatment. We hug it out later and I take her on a walk. I mean, dogs are friends, right?" — Bespectacled Heroine

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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I.C.C. Prosecutor Requests Warrants for Israeli and Hamas Leaders

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