optometry personal statement length

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Although most applicants focus on GPA and test-scores, the personal statement is a very important component of your application and should be carefully composed. This is your opportunity to highlight things about yourself that may not be mentioned in other sections of your application and to distinguish yourself from other applicants.

You should have several different people objectively read your personal statement and provide constructive feedback. In addition to the Health Professions Advisory Committee (HPAC) , your letter writers are often a great option. There are also resources on campus that can assist you, such as the UH Writing Center , University Career Services , and your major advisor. Consider the feedback you receive carefully, but be sure that the personal statement is still written in your voice!

Below we have outlined some advice and general guidelines to consider while writing your personal statement. Keep in mind that these recommendations are not restricted to medical/dental applications, but can be applied while writing essays for any healthcare professional program.

• See also UH University Career Services Personal Statement Tips
• Sign up for the UH Writing Center Personal Statement Workshops

Types of Prompts

Before beginning your personal statement, it is important you carefully review the specific question (or prompt) that is being asked and the character-limit, as there can be distinct differences between the application services.

TMDSAS ( 5000 characters ):

• Explain your motivation to seek a career in medicine. You are asked to include the value of your experiences that prepare you to be a physician.
• Explain your motivation to seek a career in dentistry. You are asked to discuss your philosophy of the dental profession and indicate your goals relevant to the profession.
• Personal Characteristics Essay - Learning from others is enhanced in educational settings that include individuals from diverse backgrounds and experiences. Please describe your personal characteristics (background, talents, skills, etc.) or experiences that would add to the educational experience of others. The personal characteristics essay is required to all applicants and limited to 2500 characters, including spaces.
• Optional Essay – The optional essay is an opportunity to provide the admissions committee(s) with a broader picture of who you are as an applicant. The essay is optional, however, you are strongly encouraged to take advantage of this opportunity. Consider briefly discussing any unique circumstances or life experiences that are relevant to your application which have not previously been presented. Optional Essay is limited to 2500 characters, including spaces.

AMCAS ( 5300 characters ):

• Why have you selected the field of medicine?
• What motivates you to learn more about medicine?
• What do you want medical schools to know about you that has not been disclosed in other sections of the application?

AACOMAS ( 5300 characters ):

• What motivates you to learn more about osteopathic medicine?

AADSAS ( 4500 characters ):

• Explain a defining moment that helped steer you toward a career in dentistry. Consider using that moment as the focal point of your essay.
• Be colorful, positive, imaginative and personal when discussing why you are a good candidate for dental school. Ask yourself—in a pile of 100 applications, would I enjoy reading my statement? Be sure to convey your passion for dentistry in your statement.
• Be yourself.  Don’t use jargon, clichés or big phrases that you would not use in daily conversation. Remember, dental schools want to know about the real you.
• Be original and thoughtful: Discuss how you would contribute to the profession and patient care, all of which will help you stand out from other applicants.

AACPMAS (4500 characters):

• State below why you are interested in becoming a Doctor of Podiatric Medicine. Provide information about your development for a career in Podiatric Medicine

CASPA (5000 characters):

• In the space provided write a brief statement expressing your motivation or desire to become a physician assistant.

OptomCAS (4500 characters) :

Essays can be customized for each individual Optometry program.  Most Optometry schools include this as their main essay question:

• Please describe what inspires your decision for becoming an optometrist, including your preparation for training in this profession, your aptitude and motivation, the basis for your interest in optometry, and your future career.

OTCAS (no character limit):

• Your Personal Statement should address why you selected OT as a career and how an Occupational Therapy degree relates to your immediate and long-term professional goals. Describe how your personal, educational, and professional background will help you achieve your goals.

PTCAS (4500 characters):

• Prompt: Every person has a story that has led them to a career. Since there are a variety of health professions that "help" others, please go beyond your initial interaction or experiences with physical therapy and share the deeper story that has confirmed your decision to specifically pursue physical therapy as your career.

PharmCAS (4500 characters):

• Your Personal Essay should address why you selected pharmacy as a career. How the Doctor of Pharmacy degree relates to your immediate and long-term professional goals. You should describe how your personal, educational, and professional background will help you achieve your goals.

VMCAS (1000 characters):

• There are many career choices within the veterinary What are your future career goals and why?
• In what ways do veterinarians contribute to society and what do you hope to contribute?
• Consider the breadth of society which veterinarians What attributes do you believe are essential to be successful within the veterinary profession? Of these attributes, which do you possess and how have you demonstrated these in the past?

When should I start writing?

You should begin working on your personal statement early in the spring semester prior to your intended application year and submitting your application materials to HPAC (if applicable).  Remember that the people who are helping you with your statement will need time to review it and you will need time to work through multiple drafts before submission.  In addition, some of your letter writers may want to see a copy of your personal statement before they write your letter, so you should strive to have a competent draft by mid-March.

What should be included?

It is important to treat the personal statement as an answer to a question (i.e., the prompt), rather than the opportunity to flex your creative writing muscles. Indeed, most applicants are STEM majors without much experience in creative writing; therefore, it is recommended that you avoid using the essay to practice your creative writing skills and stick to simply addressing the prompt in a direct, concise way. Some questions you may want to consider while planning your essay are:

• Why have you selected the field of medicine, dentistry, or other health profession?
• What motivates you to learn more about medicine, dentistry, or other health profession?
• How have you demonstrated your interest and commitment to your decision?
• What experiences have allowed you to develop the skills necessary to be successful in this program and to become an effective physician, dentist, PA, etc.?
• Did you have any exposure to role models who influenced your decision? Which of their attributes inspired you?
• Are your perceptions of this profession realistic?
• What are your professional goals?
• Is there anything you wish for your chosen health professional schools to know about you that has not been disclosed in other sections of the application?

Depending on the nature of the prompt, you may also wish to include information such as:

• Unique hardships, challenges, or obstacles that may have influenced your educational pursuits.
• Commentary on significant fluctuations in your academic record that are not explained elsewhere in your application.

What should NOT be included?

• Avoid clichés and over-using/mis-using terms : How many times do you think admissions committees have read the phrase, “I want to become a physician because I like science and I want to help people”? Similarly, words like empathy and passion are, while applicable, can become empty in meaning when overused or misused. Consider exemplifying these terms, rather than simply stating them.
• Avoid unnecessary drama: While you may feel compelled to "hook" the reader with a dramatic opening to your statement, doing so may detract from the overall purpose (i.e., describing your decision to pursue medicine/dentistry) and may induce many an eye-roll by committee members.
• Avoid being vague : "[Insert experience] was challenging and rewarding." What does that mean? Be specific about what was impactful and how it affected you.
• Avoid brash decision-making :  Your decision to become a doctor/dentist should be the result of a series of thoughtful, conscious, and reflective decisions. NOT an instantaneous realization or epiphany. Similarly, you have not “always known” that you want to be a physician/dentist. No one is "born to be a doctor." Nothing is innate, you have to work for it.
• Avoid excuses :  In general, there are better uses for your personal statement than explaining away and justifying poor grades, incidents of misconduct, etc. Indeed, TMDSAS offers additional essays and opportunities to discuss these issues. However, if you choose to address these subjects, be sure to focus on what you have learned from those incidents and how your experiences have made you a stronger person.  Always accept responsibility and avoid blaming anyone else for your decisions or mistakes.
• Avoid restating your resume or activities section :  Choose ONE or TWO significant and distinguishing experiences to elaborate upon when outline the reasons behind your decision to pursue a career in healthcare. There is no need to narrate completely your 4+ years of college or carefully detail your activities from year to year; indeed, there are other sections in the application where you can detail your experiences and what you learned from each.
• Avoid grandiosity :  Claiming that you plan to cure cancer (or HIV, or healthcare disparities, or anything else) shows a grave lack of understanding of whatever problem you are planning to solve. Similarly, avoid “I know what it is like to be a physician/dentist from [shadowing/clinical volunteer experience].”  No, you do not.  That is precisely why you are hoping to go to medical/dental school.
• Avoid inflammatory or controversial topics :  You do not know the values, beliefs, and background of the committee member reading your essay.  For these reasons, you are advised to avoid making any strong statements regarding politics, religion, and other polarizing topics.  Be extremely cautious to avoid expressing any views that could be construed as derogatory to any group.  Additionally, your beliefs are not the only “correct” beliefs. 
• Do not lie :  Honesty and ethical behavior are the hallmarks of being a healthcare professional. Do not include details anywhere in your application or essay that you are not prepared to talk about or that are simply untrue.

Additional Recommendations

• Use simple formatting : Avoid the use of bullet-points, italics, and symbols.
• Read your statement aloud : As you draft your statement, reading what you have written aloud can help you determine whether your writing "flows" well and is an easy read for a reviewer.

Application process: letters of recommendation, personal statement, OAT

Applying to optometry school will be one the most exciting times of your life. All of the experiences that have shaped you into the person you are today will be put into words, and you want to make sure that you show your best possible self.

Admissions receives hundreds of applications each year, so you want to make sure you stand out. Everyone may have good grades and different optometric experiences, so why should a school choose you? What makes you different? What do you have to offer? These are questions you constantly want to be thinking about. Three very important aspects of the application process are: letters of recommendation, the personal essay, and OAT.

Letters of Recommendation

From the start of your undergraduate career, you should start developing a relationship with each of your professors. I strongly encourage visiting your professor’s office hours and asking questions during or after class. Although you only need one letter of recommendation for NECO, you may consider asking for a letter of recommendation if you are doing well in a course (even if you are a freshman!) and have built a meaningful relationship with your professor. NECO requires a letter of recommendation from one science faculty member, one non-relative optometrist, and one of your choice (second faculty member, employer, community leader, etc). NECO does not require a committee letter, but does accept them and I encourage you to inquire about this at your school’s pre-health office. In simple terms, they compile all of your letters of recommendations, choose the best ones, and then write one strong letter to submit with your application. You want to really ask those professors that know you on a personal level and will really be able to write a strong letter. Additionally, try to obtain as many optometric experiences as possible, in different settings! You should definitely shadow and try to develop a relationship with the optometrist. You’ll learn a lot about optometry and the optometrist may even be able to write you a letter of recommendation! You can even get a job at a practice to learn more. These are things you want to start thinking about early on.

Personal Essay

I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I wrote and rewrote my personal statement. One thing I advise is to have as many people read your personal statement as possible to provide you with constructive criticism! If someone reads your statement and tells you it’s great, please ask someone else! I had people who I know are really good writers read my statement. In the end, it took me about 1 month to finalize it, so don’t get discouraged if you’re not confident with your statement at first. You have to understand that this is not your resume. You do not have to list all your experiences in the essay because there are other areas of your application where you will be able to write about those experiences. This is a place where you can highlight maybe 1-2 of your strongest achievements and talk about these in detail. It’s important to be yourself and write from your heart, showing who you really are as a person. Avoid clichés and flowery language. Keep it simple and get to the point. Show admissions a part of you that they won’t get from reading your application. First start by writing an outline focusing on these different areas: Why optometry? What is your motivation? What have you done to prepare yourself for this profession? What are your future career goals?

Start by taking a full-length online practice exam. This will give you a feel for the exam and highlight areas you need to focus more on. Next, create a study schedule you know you will be able to follow. It is recommended to study for about 3 months, a few hours a day, but YOU know yourself best. Personally, I studied for 1 month, every day from about 9AM-10PM. The study materials I used were: Kaplan, OAT destroyer, and Chad’s videos. For biology, I found Kaplan very helpful. I read over the entire section a few times, and supplemented my understanding by doing the OAT destroyer questions. I found these questions very helpful, as they were quite similar to the actual OAT. For chemistry and organic chemistry, I used Chad’s videos, where he basically gives a short lecture on each section and provides very useful practice quiz questions. For reading comprehension, I would try to read as many passages and answer as many questions as you can in a timed manner. Reading any material, such as the newspaper or books will help you become a fast reader. For physics and quantitative reading, I read the Kaplan book and did practice questions with OAT destroyer. One piece of advice I can give is to do as many online full-length practice exams as you can and review the answer choices. Continuously doing questions in a timed manner is crucial. Most of us have never taken this long of an exam online, so the more practice you receive, the more confident you will feel on exam day. Get a good night’s rest, have a good breakfast, take a deep breath, and be confident in yourself.

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Blog for Optometry Admission Test and Optometry School

Oat cracker blog, applying to optometry school: optomcas personal statement writing.

• 21. Jul. 2014
• Advice , OptomCAS , Optometry School , Pre-Optometry Society , Tips

In case you missed the memo, the OptomCAS aka the big dental school application for next fall is officially opened! The Association of Schools and Colleges of Optometry (ASCO) uses the OptomCAS aka the Optometry Centralized Application Service as a general application when applying to Optometry schools and it allows you to use one application to apply to multiple of any of the 21 programs in the U.S. If you’re planning to apply for Fall 2015, it’s time to start the process and by the way there is a PERSONAL STATEMENT required **cue the music** Although the essay is about YOU, you still have an agenda: it still needs to be written in a professional manner and highlight your professional skills, experiences, and interests. That doesn’t have to be so scary! Think of it kind of like answering that classic job interview inquiry: “Tell me about yourself.” Oh no. Did I just make it worse? **cue the music again**

Your OptomCAS Personal Statement is a place for you to “describe what inspires your decision for becoming an optometrist, including your preparation for training in this profession, your aptitude and motivation, the basis for your interest in optometry, and your future career goals” oh and do it in under 4,500 characters (including letters, spaces, punctuation (like on twitter)), which is only about a page long. So exactly why are you are seeking a optometry education? You need to articulate that you motivated, academically prepared, plus knowledgeable and passionate about the profession. This can be a little tricky; the key is balance. You want to sell yourself professional while remaining personable. By no means is this a creative writing piece; you want to be clear, concise, and professional. Keep in mind: optometry schools are making first judgments on you based on the OptomCAS application, and the OptomCAS Personal Statement is the ONLY place to make a case for yourself IN YOUR OWN WORDS!

One especially cool thing about the OptomCAS is that your Personal Statement is a school-specific question in the application. This means you can tailor your essay to each program you’re applying to and talk about specifically why this school is the best fit for you!

Remember that you’re selling yourself as a great addition to the profession. This is where you talk about your strengths, passion for the field, and all your extra-curricular hard work you’ve done in preparing for optometry school (and let’s face it also for this particular essay here).

Three key points to hit:

o   Why Optometry? – The lifelong childhood dream is all good and fine really but if that’s not the case be candid and honest and talk about your road to discovery, that’s interesting! Your journey to writing this OptomCAS Personal Statement may be long and winding. How did you land on optometry?

o   Shadowing or Assisting Experience – Talk up your observation hours in a optometry’s office setting and how these times increased your knowledge and understanding of the field. These experiences show you really know what’s like in the real world application of the optometry school.

o   Volunteerism – show your interest in working with/for the community and commitment to helping other. It’s important to include both volunteer activities that are relevant to the field and even some that isn’t. For example, working at an animal shelters shows your well rounded not just in a pre-opt mode all the time. Also include the volunteer work related to the optometry profession that you may have done with a Pre-Opt society (that’s how you work that you were active in the club in the essay too)!

The ole phrase “writing is rewriting” rings true here this case. Have a trusty professor or an optometry professional read it and give you feedback. They know what admissions committees are looking for and have insight on how to relate your experiences to the field. Final piece of advice: you can still upgrade your OAT Cracker account and unlock the all the practice tests for $49 instead of the regular $99 sooooo go do that and you’ll have gleaming OAT scores to match this beautiful essay!

Applying for Optometry School: OptomCAS Opens July 1st!

Oat study motivation, oat crackers.

We specialize in one thing: helping pre-optometry students ace their Optometry Admission Test (OAT) and get into optometry school.

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Oat 2017: reading comprehension section, applying to optometry school: optomcas 2018 is open, oat 2017: introduction guide to the optometry admission test, career spotlight: vision therapy & rehabilitation.

Student Good Guide

The best UK online resource for students

Optometry Personal Statement

Use this Optometry personal statement example as an inspiration to write your own for the UK university application, if you are applying to study Optometry course.

Finding a profession that both fulfils one’s intellectual interests and provides a sense of purpose is the key to a rewarding career. It would be necessary for me to pursue a career with a solid scientific aspect to work, since I have always been fascinated by the fields of biology and chemistry, with the objective of helping people every day. As a result of my involvement in various work placements within the health sector, I have come to realize that optometry is a profession that allows me to combine both. I have been captivated by human anatomy because of my studies in sciences at school. Studying biology has allowed me to gain a great deal of insight into how the human body develops diseases and how it attempts to fight them – sometimes unsuccessfully. Studying Level Chemistry has reinforced my understanding of biochemistry, which has been of particular interest to me. In school, I have thoroughly enjoyed studying biology and chemistry, and I look forward to applying what I have learned in these subjects to gain a detailed understanding of ocular science.

An extended work placement at a local optician helped me gain a deeper understanding of optometry both as a field of study and a profession. I shadowed different opticians as they performed eye tests and contact lens fittings during the placement. The importance of good communication skills in optometry has become apparent to me. Customers and patients would have a much more difficult time navigating what can often be complex procedures without them. In cases where patients are suffering from vision problems or are distressed by the prospect of undergoing tests, opticians should also act with empathy and patience. In the laboratory, I also had the opportunity to observe – and sometimes participate in – the lens and frame preparation processes during my placement. As a result of this experience, I have a much better understanding of the different types of lenses that are used in glasses, as well as the technical skills involved in making them. Since I found the work placement so rewarding, I have continued to volunteer every Saturday at the same optician.

I have also carried out a work placement at a local pharmacy. This experience encouraged me to develop some of the personal skills that I believe are necessary for working as an optician. During the placement, I had the opportunity to interact with customers. Through this, I learnt how much I enjoy work in which I can offer advice to people, and also felt a gratifying sense of responsibility in response to the fact that the advice I gave them regarding non-prescription medication could play a role in alleviating the symptoms of their health problems.

In my spare time, I have participated in a range of activities that also allow me to be involved in helping people. In Year 12 I mentored a group of Year 7 students; I enjoyed being able to make them feel less apprehensive about starting life in secondary school. I have been involved with several fund-raising initiatives for Afrikids and Cancer Research, such as selling cakes and doing a sponsored walk. These activities gave me a sense of satisfaction by allowing me to work as part of a team with a common goal. My sense of teamwork has also been improved by my involvement in my school’s hockey and netball teams. On a more personal note, I am a highly enthusiastic musician; I play the guitar, and also particularly enjoy traditional Indian music. I have found learning to play an instrument to be both an outlet for self-expression and a way of developing my skills of perseverance. I am also an avid reader of fiction, in particular stories that ignite my sense of adventure, such as Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland.

Recommended reading:

• Personal Statement Examples
• How to Write a Personal Statement for a PhD
• UCAS Personal Statement: A Writing Guide And Tips For Success
• How to Write a Personal Statement That Stands Out
• Tips for Writing a Personal Statement for the University
• How to Write UCAS Reference Letter

How to Write – A Killer Personal Statement Optometry Example

The Personal Statement Optometry Edition

The personal statement for Optometry plays a significant role in the application process for many universities. They provide the admissions team with information on your academia, work experience, and personality, to help them determine whether you’re a good fit for their program.

Personal Statement Format - Optometry

A structured and well-written personal statement will highlight your strengths and demonstrate your transferable skillset. You should include your educational background, work history, volunteering, extracurriculars, hobbies, and aspirations (whether you want to stay in primary care, work in a hospital, or create your own business). If you’ve taken courses related to optometry, be sure to mention those too.

If you’re not too sure what to write about, ask yourself these questions:

What do I hope to accomplish by applying to optometry?

How have my experiences prepared me for university?

Why should they choose me?

This guide has you covered with keywords, bonus tips, and a successful personal statement optometry example.

If you’re applying through UCAS, then you’re limited to 4000 characters (including spaces) and up to 47 lines. Check your length by pasting your draft here , you may need to remove the spaces between paragraphs- this is normal and you will not be penalised for that. 

Table of Contents

• Step 1 – Scope of Practice
• Step 2 – Keywords
• Step 3 – Mentor/Editing Service
• Killer Personal Statement Optometry Example
• Overview of the statement

Step 1: Understand an Optometrist's Scope of Practice

An optometrist’s  Scope of Practice simply means what their roles are, what they’re allowed to do, and day-to-day roles. 

Roles – Research the difference between roles of dispensing opticians, optometrists, ophthalmologists, and

– this will show off your background research and understanding.

If you have shadowed an optometrist, mention their roles in educating, advocating, and treating patients. This isn’t somewhere to list roles but suggests how you hope to make a difference through these roles.

Standards of Practice – Look into the General Optical Council Standards – These are 19 standards each optical professional must abide by. Integrate some of these in your personal statement optometry.

e.g., Standard 5: Keep your knowledge and skills up to date – Show your ability to research outside of your currciculum, mention an article, or research that you read. Show that you’re aware that learning extends beyond university!

Step 2: Keywords

• Collaboration- an ability to work closely with others
• Educator- willingness to teach others, educate patients on their vision health
• Advocate- care and support those with visual conditions, impairments & vulnerable patients
• Leader- handle the business side of optometry, manage a clinic, and mentor juniors
• Empathy- work with a diverse community, care for the young, elderly, those with disabilities etc…
• Communication- an ability to speak coherently, clearly, jargon-free, and alter your tone

Purchase the full guide with 3 successful examples, keywords, insider knowledge, top tips, full structure breakdown, and more...

Step 3: mentor/editing service.

Find a Mentor

Most applicants resort to their career adviser for help with their optometry personal statement. Make sure your career adviser has a track record of successful students who have previously applied and helped with a personal statement optometry application.

Optometry is a unique field, focusing on the eyes and a part of healthcare. It’s competitive, meaning you want to use each paragraph to add value rather than repeating what’s already on your UCAS application.

The universities will have your academic records, predicted grades, and final results- so they know you’re hard working and can handle the workload. They want to know how you are as a person, your work experience, knowledge beyond the A Level curriculum, and evidence of your caring nature.

Professional Mentor – a personal statement editor or advisor is someone who helps applicants for a living. They should have had experience with optometry and the application process. My services include editing, rewriting, content addition or budget services which include proofreading, review, and grammar corrections .

Optometrist – if you’ve shadowed an optometrist you might be able to ask them to read through your personal statement for optometry. They can highlight any technical errors or fact-check to make sure the content is correct

Personal Statement Optometry Example

“As an avid photographer, I grew passionate about learning the different camera lenses, apertures, and their impact on focus. This intertwined with my anatomical interests, which stemmed from biology, where I dissected an eye. Visualising the ciliary muscles and learning their function alongside the zonular fibres helped me to understand their function on the lens. A simple contraction causes tension enabling us to focus on near objects. This significant but small muscle carries out an essential function, if impaired, our vision would be hugely affected. Researching this inspired me to understand ocular anatomy and age-related conditions. My research and the dissection tutorial sparked my fascination for vision health. As a teenager, I was always drawn to healthcare, but I was now drawn to this fascinating sector of healthcare. Following my research on age-related conditions, I came across cataracts which are prevalent within the geriatric population. I oversaw the impact cataracts had on elderly patients while volunteering weekly at a residential home. Many residents lacked independence due to their visual impairments and mobility issues. I recognised that many required visual aids, glasses, or regular medication and appointments. To understand the impact this had on their quality of life, I spoke to many who were happy to share their stories. I empathised with their struggles and understood how vision is essential. I also learned how residents coped with their deteriorating vision by improving their room lighting, colour-coded medication, and asking for help. I was able to help with tasks like clipping nails, meal times, and cleaning. I found the team to be very helpful, and we worked closely to make sure everyone was cared for. This work was undoubtedly rewarding, but it made me wonder how those in developing countries or of a lower income are able to access or afford such care. This made me grateful for the cataract surgeries and extensive care the NHS provides for all ages. I hope to use this experience to understand my future patients and educate them on coping methods while they await surgery. I found myself using a more gentle and slower speech when communicating with elderly patients; some suffered from hearing issues and additionally required me to write things down or speak facing them while accentuating my words. I now bear this in mind and am more patient and empathetic toward others. To understand what optometry entails, I shadowed my optometrist for two weeks. I oversaw consultations, eye health checks, diabetic checks, and the use of OCT scans. Being eager to learn, I curiously asked the optometrist to explain the purpose behind each check. I’m grateful that she was kind enough to explain the procedures and the various conditions that can arise. We spoke about retinal detachment, symptoms, and the risk of sudden vision loss. I recognised how crucial it is to care for those in the chair, whether it be elderly patients or those with limited English. Each required a thorough check and an explanation that they could understand. In order to gain a comprehensive experience, I learned about the administrative side of optometry, what is involved in running a clinic, and ensuring referrals are followed up. I had a chance to respond to phone calls and book appointments. This improved my communication skills and ability to empathise with those who were distressed by their symptoms, I could relate as I had recently suffered from allergies, which caused a great deal of irritation and itchiness. Overall, I believe my shadowing, rooted interests in anatomy, and willingness to work in a patient-centred profession have drawn me to optometry. I, therefore, wish to learn, develop, and treat those who are in my care by providing a quality service that will continue beyond university.”

Remember- Scope of Practice, use keywords, and get help with your Personal Statement Optometry

Sentence structure, flow, spelling, and grammar are equally important. Without flow and good transitional sentences, it becomes difficult to read, losing the admission tutor’s interest.

Therefore, I strongly advise getting professional help with the draft once it is written. Invest in your future now to maximise your chances of getting into your dream 0ptometry course.

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Write the Perfect Ophthalmology Residency Personal Statement with Free Checklist

A powerful personal statement presents a preview of who you are, what you have to offer, and proves exactly why a program should want you. Follow these steps to write an awesome autobiographical sketch and excellent essays.

Download the Checklist

Perfect personal statement checklist, purpose of an autobiographical statement, in 500 words, an autobiographical sketch can:.

• Highlight the unique qualities, special skills, and life experiences that make you the best candidate.
• Reveal what inspired you to choose a career in medicine.
• Demonstrate an adequate understanding of ophthalmology.
• Explain your motivation for choosing ophthalmology.
• Contextualize the information found in your CV.
• Reiterate any relevant clinical experience.
• Define your future aspirations and career goals.

Begin with brainstorming

Probing prompts for your autobiographical sketch.

To get the creative juices flowing, ask yourself the following questions and jot down anything—and everything—that comes to mind. This process and your subsequent notes will also prove useful in choosing and answering the two required essay questions.

• What life experiences have most shaped me as a person?
• Who is my biggest influence/role model?
• When and why did I first know I wanted to enter the medical field?
• How have my travels influenced my medical aspirations?
• What makes me unique in comparison to my classmates?
• What accomplishment(s) am I most proud of?
• Do I have hobbies/interests that will help me become a better doctor?
• What is my greatest strength?
• What is my greatest weakness?
• What is my personal philosophy?
• How would my friends and peers describe me?
• What would be the biggest compliment a patient could give me as a physician?
• Why am I choosing ophthalmology?
• What qualities make a good ophthalmologist?
• How do I embody these qualities?
• What are my ultimate goals/aspirations?
• Is there something (a gap/discrepancy in my education) I would like to explain? *Note, this is something that will often be asked on interviews

Essential elements

Use this simple structure for success:.

• Start with an attention-catching sentence that captures the reader.
• Introduce the thesis or overriding theme that answers why you will make an outstanding resident and physician.
• Paragraph one: Unique story/personal experience/relevant exposure
• Paragraph two: Highlights of educational/clinical career or impetus for entering the field of ophthalmology.
• Link the personal and professional together to explain how your story relates to your current career goals.
• Clearly state your goals/ambitions and reiterate, based on the information in the above paragraphs, your confidence in completion.

Tailoring a traditional statement

• Be organized and easy to read with no abrupt transitions or confusing concepts.
• Contain paragraphs that flow effortlessly into one another with the use of logical, transitional sentences.
• Use a voice that is consistent and dynamic.
• Employ specific language.
• Be grammatically correct with proper tense usage, punctuation, and spelling.
• Avoid cliches.

Time to type

Effectively answering essay questions, each short essay should:.

• Answer the question. Make certain you stay focused and on topic.
• Be structured with an opening thesis, supporting documentation, and conclusion.
• Be authentic and avoid “safe” generic answers.
• Supplement your CV and autobiographical statement with new information.
• Exhibit personal growth when possible.

Write once, edit twice . . . or thrice

Seek a second opinion from the experts, upon completion, have each of them answer the following:.

• Do you feel you know who I am and what values I hold?
• Do you know why I personally have chosen ophthalmology?
• Do you understand what I can bring to the program and the field?
• Is it clear what qualities and experience I possess that will make me an asset to the program?

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Donna Ison is the Senior Editor of Eyes on Eyecare. Formerly, she served as editor-in-chief of MD-Update magazine, managing editor of skirt! Magazine Lexington, and a content/copy editor with BobVila.com. She is performance poet, playwright, and the author of two novels, with a third on the way.

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Personal Statement Length

• Thread starter chachorigo
• Start date Feb 24, 2015

• Feb 24, 2015

EZOnTheEyes

Full member.

761 words  

• Feb 25, 2015

Mine was 760 words  

Xtermination

Optohope2014.

chachorigo said: What was your word count for the Optomcas application personal statement? Click to expand...

• Feb 26, 2015

Thank you so much for your input, 4,500 words seamed long.  

Mine was 715 words.  

chachorigo said: Thank you so much for your input, 4,500 words seamed long. Click to expand...

• Mar 5, 2015

Hi, I'm looking at applying next cycle, just wanted to ask: are we expected to fill out every single personal statement as a different one specific to each school? They all have a questions box with a designated statement, I was under the impression that it would be one personal statement that would be sent to all of them, instead we have to write a personal essay to each?  

• Mar 6, 2015

thisboy said: Hi, I'm looking at applying next cycle, just wanted to ask: are we expected to fill out every single personal statement as a different one specific to each school? They all have a questions box with a designated statement, I was under the impression that it would be one personal statement that would be sent to all of them, instead we have to write a personal essay to each? Click to expand...

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Application process: Optometry (MSci) (4 years)

Some applicants find the interview for our four-year Optometry course daunting. We've tried to make the interview process as clear and transparent as possible through this step-by-step guide to what we are looking for in successful applicants.

How to apply

All applications for entry to undergraduate study in the UK must be directed through the Universities and Colleges Admissions Service (UCAS).

UCAS application forms can be obtained from schools or directly from UCAS. This should be done nine to 12 months before intending to start the course (21 to 24 months in the case of gap year students).

Please refer to the UCAS website for further information on key dates and the application process.

How your application is considered

We will review your entire UCAS application to determine whether you have satisfied the criteria for interview selection.

For applicants based in the UK, Republic of Ireland and the Channel Islands, the interview will be held at The University of Manchester.

For applicants residing outside the UK (international and EU), this may involve a Skype/Zoom interview.

As a general rule, applicants who are given the opportunity to attend an interview will have:

• a good set of GCSE grades, with Grade 5 in Mathematics and English Language;
• predicted A-levels normally at a minimum of AAB (or equivalent qualifications). At least one science subject must be at Grade A. In some cases we may consider an applicant whose predictions are ABB with the A in the science subject;
• a well-written personal statement that confirms your interest in studying optometry;
• a supportive academic reference.

We receive approximately 1,100 applications each academic year and hold 7 interview dates per session from November to March. Skype/Zoom interviews will be arranged on an ad hoc basis.

All offers are based on a combination of predicted/achieved A-levels (or equivalent), personal statement, reference and interview assessment.

Candidates whose primary choice of course is Medicine or Dentistry

Applicants who have applied for Medicine or Dentistry as a first choice will still be considered for Optometry.

Subject to meeting the advertised requirements, you will be invited to submit a revised personal statement that confirms your interest in Optometry. If this is satisfactory, you will be invited for an interview in March/April.

About the personal statement

Your personal statement offers an opportunity for you to stand out from other applicants. A well-written statement that demonstrates enthusiasm and commitment to optometry will improve your chances of success.

You should include details of outside interests, work experience and any position of responsibility you have held.

Please note: we have a zero tolerance policy on plagiarised personal statements. Any statements that are flagged by the UCAS Similarity Detection Service will be automatically rejected.

About the interview

For the 2022-23 admissions cycle, interviews will be scheduled via Zoom and will be conducted one-to-one with an academic member of staff.

The interviews will be timetabled for 20 minutes and this will allow you to ask any questions you might have about the Optometry course.

We will ensure that you are given plenty of notice about the interview and, if necessary, we will be happy to reschedule if the date/time is inconvenient.

Please note that the interview is an essential part of the application process. Those who fail to attend, without prior explanation, will have their application withdrawn.

Students with non-standard or non A-level qualifications

We understand that not all applicants will have taken A-levels and we may still offer an opportunity for an interview to an applicant, even when a gap in their entry qualifications means their proficiency in one or more subjects has not been proven.

After the interview

While our aim is to inform applicants of our decision as soon as possible after the interview, there will be a number of cases when our decision will be delayed, and we will need to wait until ALL interviews have been completed before we are able to update UCAS Track.

In this scenario, we will inform applicants of a potential delay and the timeline of when we expect to be able to confirm our decision. All decisions are based on the assessment of your interviewer.

Reconsideration

The overwhelming majority of unsuccessful applicants are rejected because they do not satisfy our entry requirements, but requests for reconsideration of a decision can be made.

Requests should be made via email to the Admissions Manager ( [email protected] ) while also being supported (again via email) by the applicant's tutor/academic advisor.

Advice to applicants

Conditional firm (cf) and conditional insurance (ci) choices.

We have a non-academic requirement that all CF and CI applicants must fulfil. This is the completion and submission of a health questionnaire that is assessed by the University's Occupational Health Service (OHS).

The health questionnaire will be sent to you via email after you have selected Manchester as your firm or insurance choice.

Following assessment, OHS will issue your Certificate to Commence Studies and, at this point, we will confirm that you have satisfied this (non-academic) requirement.

You should choose your CF and CI choices with care. Ideally, the CF choice should be at the university where you really want to study.

However, you should be aware that if we are able to offer any leeway on the requirements for entry, this will be given to CF applicants only.

Ophthalmology Residency Personal Statement Examples

With tips for writing a strong personal statement.

Ophthalmology residency personal statement examples are a great tool to use when crafting your own personal statement. If you’re preparing for residency applications , you know how tough it can be to put your thoughts and experiences on the page. Read some of our examples and tips on writing a great personal statement for a competitive match like ophthalmology to get you started. In this blog, we’ll look at what is required for ophthalmology residency personal statements, some personal statement examples and a few tips to get you started.

>> Want us to help you get accepted? Schedule a free initial consultation here <<

Article Contents 8 min read

The ophthalmology residency match is relatively competitive in both the US and Canada, with a match rate of 68% in the US and 71% in Canada. To stand out from the qualified crowd, an ophthalmology residency personal statement can give you an opportunity to tell your story and make yourself a unique applicant in the eyes of ophthalmology programs.

Ophthalmology programs in the US participate in the San Francisco Match, or the SF Match, as opposed to the National Resident Matching Program (NRMP) used by other medical residency programs in the US. Canadian applicants can apply to ophthalmology programs through CaRMS .

Ophthalmology residency match rates in the US and Canada

It should be noted that there were recent changes to the SF Match residency personal statement requirements. Applicants must now submit a 500-word autobiographical sketch, instead of the 1,000-word residency personal statement. Applicants will also receive a list of standardized short essay questions and be asked to respond to two of them in 250 words or less.

Use your ophthalmology residency personal statement to highlight the personal qualities, values, skills and life experience that contributed to your decision to study ophthalmology and that make you an ideal candidate. You can also contextualize some of the information in your CV and talk about your future career aspirations.

Two of the students in my high school biology class vomited when it came time to perform the dissection in our second term of senior year. A record-breaking number from previous years, according to my teacher, Mrs. Aztrakan. Instead of the commonly provided frogs to dissect, inspect, label and report on, we were given cows’ eyeballs on shiny, stainless-steel platters. I remember thinking they were bigger than I expected, but at least the smell of disinfectant and sights of a slimy eyeball being cut in half didn’t cause me to lose my lunch. Biology class had always been a favorite class of mine, and the dissection class was an experience that stuck with me.

Aside from science, my other passion growing up was helping others. I was deemed the sibling with the natural caring instinct in my family, the mother-hen of my group of friends. I never shied away from an opportunity to lend someone a hand, offer some comforting words or ask someone if they needed help. During high school these traits and my growing interest in science of course developed into a desire to study medicine. As I began planning my eventual journey through university, medical school and beyond, I always envisioned myself as a family medicine practitioner. Another early memory that has stayed with me is the experiences of our yearly visit to our family doctor. Dr. Yowtz probably moonlighted as a stand-up comedian because her jokes were just as side-splitting as her calm demeanor and easy manner was soothing to my siblings and I from our early years all the way up to adulthood. Whatever trouble we got into, Dr. Yowtz was there to patch us up, help us laugh through pain or provide some sage life advice on the wisdom of not trying to pull a wheelie on a bicycle on an unpaved road. For me, family medicine was the perfect career for me.

My perspective was changed when I entered my clerkship years and was able to experience first-hand what the day-to-day life of a family medicine practitioner was like. It was comfortable, it was routine, it was fulfilling. But it didn’t excite me or stimulate me the way I had expected. Back in biology dissection lab, the challenge of the eyeball was so interesting, requiring patience and skill, revealing fascinating structures and textures with every slice. It was a wonder to me that the structures I was seeing were organic, were in fact capable of allowing sight through an paradoxically complex process and simple element.

This fascination was rekindled when I had the chance to observe an ophthalmology surgical procedure. A relatively simple surgery, but it reignited the curiosity and sense of challenge I’d been seeking. And I managed not to vomit in witnessing this procedure, meaning I have retained my strong stomach.

As an ophthalmologist, I believe I can combine my desire for a small practice focused on family, while also doing challenging and rewarding work in medicine.

Growing up, I was never the kid to ask a million times: “why?” Instead, I was that annoying kid who asked the more pertinent question of “how?” From the time I was old enough to watch my dad in his home workshop, drilling and cutting and shaping with various tools, I relentlessly asked how things worked. How they did the job they were designed to do. On school field trips, it was the same, and I continued to annoy museum docents, facility tour guides, a very patient dairy farmer and my dad with my endless follow up questions.

My consuming interest with how things worked was focused at first on the amazing technology of anything mechanical. Any type of machinery, I wanted to take it apart to learn its inner workings. My dad’s power tools were never the same. In high school I was able to temper my curiosity with shop class, physics courses and extracurricular volunteer work with the shop teacher’s mechanic shop based at the school. I was eager to get my hands dirty and take on new challenges. These new challenges turned into experiments, wherein I tried my hand at inventing, or simply devised ways to make something work better than it had before. At this stage in my pursuit of the answer to the almighty question, I began to read everything I could get my hands on that sounded remotely related to my interests in technology, machines and invention.

It was through this in invention that my love of medicine was sparked. For there are few fields as innovative, as relentlessly forward driving and curious. And maybe it appeased me somewhat to know that medicine did, in fact, have the answers to some of those “how” questions. And the ones it didn’t, it was looking into. In medicine I have found a place where I can continue to pursue my purpose, but give it a direction to aim in.

In all my research and reading, I have found few specialties as absorbing as ophthalmology. It is a discipline which relies on technology and innovation but allows one to get right in the action and figure out the solution with one’s own hands. I was privileged to be able to witness this combination of innovative technology being wielded by human hands during my clinical years, when a very young patient was admitted with a globe rupture in need of immediate surgery. Without the technological advancements, it would not have been so easy to fix the problem. Without the human curiosity, we would have never known how to fix it.

The chance to continue learning, reading and researching, discovering new solutions and technologies, the opportunity to get all my “how” answers, is undeniably appealing to me. More than that, the potential of answering some of those “how” questions myself is an ambition of mine. Therefore, I have chosen ophthalmology as my specialty. There is simply nothing else like it.

Working on your residency CV? Watch this video!

My interest in ophthalmology is inextricably tied to my connection with the elderly. It is true that few of us appreciate our grandparents, even great-grandparents, until they are gone. I consider myself fortunate to have lived in a multi-generational household, with my widowed grandmother raising me right alongside my parents. I have also been lucky to have “adopted” grandparents throughout my life. The first of these adopted grandparents was our long-time neighbour, Patricia. Aside from being a fixed grandmother figure in my young life, she was also blind.

Patricia, having lived a full life already by the time I was 10 years old, had been blind for decades by the time my family moved in next door. She lived alone, in a remote area, but her blindness had never slowed her down. Visiting her each week, helping out with chores and having tea on her back porch, I learned a great deal about the realities and misconceptions of living with an ocular disease. Today, the condition which led to her blindness is very treatable, but decades ago, it wasn’t common to seek treatment and it wasn’t readily available. Even so, Patricia carried on with her life and adapted to her new realities.

Her kind of self-reliance and positivity is something I admired in my own grandmother as well, who was of a similar age and mindset. As I grew older and began volunteering in care homes and developing an interest in a career in medicine, I found many more adopted grandparents to draw inspiration from. Of course, the downside of being so self-reliant is that it can sometimes translate to an inability or reluctance to ask for help or take care of oneself. Many of the elderly patients I helped to care for sometimes neglected their regular well-being and health, believing that there was no problem until it was a problem. Remembering Patricia’s insistence on handling her own affairs with as little assistance as possible, I employed my old tactics with her to my patients, trying to find that balance between encouraging regular attention to health and respect for independence.

My volunteer work continued to fuel a desire to go into geriatric care, and during my medical school years I especially enjoyed making friends with my more elderly patients. There was a common joke in my group that I could persuade even the most stubborn, set-in-their-ways patient to consider an alternative or accept a compromise. And after seeing so many other patients suffering from common eye diseases that are easily treatable, my passion for senior health advocacy has grown.

As brilliant and inspiring as Patricia was, others like her could continue to benefit from having an advocate in their corner, to help prevent the eye-related illness and afflictions so common in the elderly. My hope is to use my passion and bond with senior patients to serve them better and provide the best care possible.

Need to address a gap in your residency application in your personal statement? Check out this infographic.

Asking a friend, mentor, consultant or advisor to review and proofread your statement will go a long way. They may catch mistakes that you missed or be able to provide some feedback on your writing. Having a second set of eyes on your work will polish it so you can be sure to submit the best possible draft. Residency match services can also help you with crafting and revising your residency personal statement.  ","label":"Ask someone to review","title":"Ask someone to review"}]" code="tab1" template="BlogArticle">

Yes, ophthalmology programs require all applicants to submit a personal statement as part of the application package. 

Ophthalmology residency personal statements need to be an autobiographical sketch covering who you are, what experiences led you to choose the field of ophthalmology, what your future career goals are and why you are an ideal candidate.

The ophthalmology residency personal statement needs to be a 500-word autobiographical sketch, as well as two 250-word short essays in response to a list of standardized questions.

The personal statement is a key part of your application, since it will tell the programs you’ve applied to why you are a good fit. The personal statement provides some of your background and allows the program selection committee some insight into your motivations and experiences.

Avoid cliches and talking about why the field of ophthalmology is interesting. In short, don’t tell the selection committee what you think they want to hear or something they’ve already heard many times before.

Standing out from a crowd of qualified applicants is hard, but its easier to do if you tell a story with your personal statement. Stories are more compelling, and your reader is more likely to remember details about you if they are delivered through a story. Using storytelling will also allow you to dig deep and get more personal with your writing, which translates to a bigger impact on the page for your reader.

Start your residency statement with a compelling first sentence or “hook”. Read some personal statement examples to see how they start their introduction paragraph. The main point of the first sentence is to grab the reader’s attention.

Personal statements are considered an “elevator pitch” of sorts in which what you’re pitching is you. In order to sell yourself as the best candidate for a program, you want to highlight the skills, values, attributes and experiences you have that make an ideal ophthalmologist resident.

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Have a question ask our admissions experts below and we'll answer your questions.

Pawan Kumar

Thank you for examples on your website. Can you please advise how it works and if there is still time to get my personal statement/two questions checked? What is the cost and turnaround time? Thank you.

BeMo Academic Consulting

Hello Pawan! Thanks for your comment. Please reach out to us for a free strategy call to discuss how we can help you. 

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• Healthcare personal statements

Personal Statement:Optometry 1

Optometry personal statement.

Mathematics, chemistry and economics 'A' levels have provided me with a varied knowledge and a range of skills. Mathematics has helped me excel in my ability to analyse a problem and think of a systematic way of solving it. I have a personality trait of always investigating the reasoning behind a concept and this is why I enjoy mathematics. This is also the basis why I enjoy reading on science so much as it explains reasons and theories on things we come across in everyday situations

Chemistry has enabled me to logically understand these ideas at a molecular level and has improved my manipulative skills. I enjoy using resources such as the internet to obtain background knowledge on scientific news as well as news about the current economy. Economics is a subject that can be adapted and be useful to any situation, understanding how markets are run and how formulae can be used to be able to make analytical judgements from. I have also obtained an AS level in ICT, this was very enjoyable and I obtained a lot from it, some of the knowledge I obtained in ICT is adaptable in any situation and especially in recent times where there has been an upsurge in the applications and usage of information systems

I would like to become an optometrist and in order to meet this aspiration of mine I want to complete a degree in optometry. Research and discussions with university students and pre-registration students have enabled me to reach a fully informed decision on demands and expectations to be an optometrist. I am confident that I have the necessary skills, attributes and commitment to complete this demanding course. The course involves a career prospect which will allow me to build further upon my interests in detailed optical work, I feel that improving patients' quality of life by helping them in correcting their vision will bring me a lot of job satisfaction

I enjoy participating in work in my community, I have helped organise annual fairs within my community as well as raising money for it and other charities by participating in activities such as charity walks, swim-a-thons and a five mile run; which was especially rewarding for me as I achieved thirty third position out of several thousand. I enjoy participating in charity events as I find it gratifying to see a large group of people participating in an activity to raise money for the same objective. I currently have a part time job at a community run Saturday school. I began as a volunteer whereby my duties involved carrying out administrative work as well as being an English and Mathematics support teacher. This meant that I would work alongside a teacher to help students in reaching their full potential. I participated in this 3 hours a week. I developed several skills including administrative and organisational skills. This job is very fulfilling seeing the difference made when knowledge is passed on from one person to another. I feel that I am lucky to be a part of the flowing creativity and the general enthusiasm that this school thrives. I enjoy this as I have the opportunity to work with public. A future goal of mine is to run my own ophthalmic practice, this will combine both interests of being able to work with the public and the interest of the optometry course and this inevitably will form a perfect career for me

I enjoy playing sport and keeping active, every week I attend a community run sports club where I play sports including indoor football, table tennis and badminton which is a favourite sport of mine. I also participate in tournaments with against different teams in these sports. As I enjoy playing sport I decided further my knowledge by taking part in a Junior Sports Leadership Award, this enabled me to increase my communicative skills, sporting skills and refereeing skills

I am a conscientious student and am determined to achieve the best that I can in order to succeed as a student as well as a person. I look forward to the challenges and range of experiences that await me in higher education and university life. I know that the course will be demanding but I know that I can achieve my predicted grades as long as I put in maximum effort; I accept that one has the ability to prosper in life as long as good effort is sustained.

[ edit ]General Comments

Firstly, this personal statement is a bit longer than is permitted, both in terms of the number of characters and the number of lines it takes up.

The structure of this statement is a bit jumbled, with no clear introduction and does not have enough about optometry, the subject being applied for, with only ¼ of the characters available used to talk about this. This statement would benefit from being rebalanced with at least half devoted to optometry. When the applicant is talking about the subjects that they're studying, they need to try and relate them back to optometry and how the skills they've developed in their subjects might be useful for the degree and in the future. Similarly, they mention various skills they've learned from voluntary work (they talk about a lot of different activities, which is good) and need to talk about why they are important for optometry.

SPaG (spelling, punctuation and grammar): there are no full stops at the end of sentences and subjects like 'english' and 'mathematics' don't need capitalising. A lot of the sentences in this statement start with 'I,' more variation in how the sentences are started would help to make the statement 'flow' a lot better.

[ edit ]Comments on the statement

Mathematics, chemistry and economics 'A' levels have provided me with a varied knowledge and a range of skills.  For a start, the applicant does not need to list the subjects they are taking, as this wastes precious space (this information is already on the UCAS form). Secondly, the applicant has not started their statement by talking about why they want to study optometry – while there is no set structure, it is usually inadvisable to start a statement by talking about A levels.  Mathematics has helped me  to  excel in my ability to analyse a problem and think of a systematic way of solving it.  The applicant needs to try and relate this to optometry – instead of just saying that this ability has been improved, they need to talk about why this is important for optometry.  I have a personality trait of always investigating the reasoning behind a concept and this is why I enjoy mathematics.  This sentence doesn't completely make sense, either technically or grammatically and would be better left out entirely.  This is also  the basis  why I enjoy  reading on  science so much as it explains  the  reasons and theories  of   behind  things we come across in everyday situations . (full stop)   This paragraph would work better as an academic paragraph, rather than an introduction.

This should ideally be part of the previous paragraph as it seems like it would follow on.  Chemistry has enabled me to logically understand these ideas at a molecular level and has improved my manipulative skills.  The applicant needs to explain what they mean by manipulative skills here, as it seems very vague. Again, they need to relate their subjects back to optometry.  I enjoy using resources such as the internet to obtain background knowledge on scientific news as well as news about the current economy.  This sentence seems rather irrelevant to the topic and should only be kept in if the applicant makes it relevant to optometry or the subjects they're studying.  Economics is a subject that can be adapted and be useful to any situation  The applicant needs to explain its relation to optometry, if they can think of one – if they can't, then saying it can be adapted and useful to any situation would not be true , understanding how markets are run and how formulae can be used to be able to make analytical judgements from. I have also obtained an AS level in ICT, this was very enjoyable and I obtained a lot from it, some of the knowledge I obtained in ICT is adaptable in any situation and especially in recent times where there has been an upsurge in the applications and usage of information systems . (full stop)   Again, since the applicant is claiming that ICT is adaptable in any situation, they need to relate it to optometry.

I would like to become an optometrist and in order to meet this aspiration of mine I want to complete a degree in optometry.  The applicant needs to talk about exactly why they want to become an optometrist rather than just stating this, as it is a very simplistic sentence which tells you nothing about the applicant.  Research and discussions with university students and pre-registration students have enabled me to reach a fully informed decision on demands and expectations to be an optometrist.  The applicant needs to explain exactly what the demands and expectations are in this case.  I am confident that I have the necessary skills, attributes and commitment to complete this demanding course.  The applicant needs to talk about what the necessary skills and attributes are and why they are important for optometry.  The course involves a career prospect which will allow me to build further upon my interests  what interests?  in detailed optical work, I feel that improving patients' quality of life by helping them in correcting their vision will bring me a lot of job satisfaction  . (full stop)   This paragraph is the only place where the applicant has actually talked about optometry and hasn't actually showed any understanding of what optometry is or even what an optometrist is. As unfair as that may sound, it is a vital part of any healthcare statement and ideally, the applicant should have completed some work experience in the area in order to learn more about what the job involves and the sorts of skills which are necessary for it. Also, the only reason they seem to have given for wanting to do this course is job satisfaction, something that can be gained from a huge number of jobs, not only optometry or even healthcare in general. The applicant should go into a reasonable amount of depth about why they want to be an optometrist.

I enjoy participating in work in my community,  full stop  I have helped organise annual fairs  within my community  as well as raising money for  it and other  charities by participating in activities such as charity walks, swim-a-thons and a five mile run  full stop ; which was especially rewarding for me as I achieved thirty third position out of several thousand.  While the applicant is obviously happy about this achievement, it doesn't really add to the personal statement at all and should only be included if they applicant has included everything else they need to and still have space.  I enjoy participating in charity events as I find it gratifying to see a large group of people participating in an activity to raise money for the same objective.  This sentence seems to be rather irrelevant – again, it adds nothing to the personal statement and just isn't necessary. Instead, the applicant could benefit from talking about what they learned through their community and charity work. Whether they've gained any skills which might be useful for optometry etc.  I currently have a part time job at a community run Saturday school. I began as a volunteer where by  my duties involved carrying out administrative work as well as being an English and Mathematics support teacher. This meant that I would work alongside a teacher to help students in reaching their full potential. I participated in this  3   three (numbers should be written out in full)  hours a week. I developed several skills including administrative and organisational skills.  This group of sentences are a bit stilted and don't flow at all well. The applicant needs to talk about what their role was as a support teacher in particular as well as expanding on the skills they developed – their importance for optometry.  This job  has been  very fulfilling  comma  seeing the difference made when knowledge is passed on from one person to another. I feel that I am lucky to be a part of the flowing creativity and the general enthusiasm that this school thrives  on?  .  This sentence again doesn't completely make sense, and while you get an idea of the applicants enjoyment for the role, this adds little to the overall impression that admissions tutors will gain from reading the statement.  I enjoy this as I have the opportunity to work with public.  This seems slightly repetitive and unnecessary, however, if the applicant were to talk about why they like working with the public, they could link back to optometry here.  A future goal of mine is to run my own ophthalmic practice, this will combine both interests of being able to work with the public and the interest of the optometry course and this inevitably will form a perfect career for me . (full stop)   Talking about future goals would work a lot better in the introduction, and referring to an 'ophthalmic practise' is not the best way to convince someone reading the statement that the applicant understands what an optometrist is. The applicant talks about a 'perfect career' here, which would be fine provided they'd explained why somewhere else in the statement!

I enjoy playing sport and keeping active,  a semi-colon might work better here  every week I attend a community run sports club where I play sports including indoor football, table tennis and badminton  which is a favourite sport of mine . I also participate in tournaments  with  against different teams in these sports. As I enjoy playing sport I decided further my knowledge by taking part in a Junior Sports Leadership Award, this enabled me to increase my communicative skills, sporting skills and refereeing skills . (full stop)   Talking about what you do in your spare time is important in personal statements, however, the applicant would benefit from expanding on the junior leadership award here rather than just listing what they do. They have also given a list of skills at the end of the paragraph, without explaining any of them and why they are relevant for optometry. For one thing, I doubt refereeing skills will be of any use as an optometrist! I also think that the term 'communicative skills' could be expanded on in particular. In my opinion it is quite a vague term, and needs explaining and relating to optometry - why optometrists need to be good communicators.

I am a conscientious student and am determined to achieve the best that I can in order to succeed as a student as well as a person. I look forward to the challenges and range of experiences that await me in higher education and university life.  These two sentences are very generic as PS conclusions go and some added personality would help here.  I know that the course will be demanding  how?  but I know that I can achieve my predicted grades as long as I put in maximum effort; I accept that one has the ability to prosper in life as long as good effort is sustained.  As a conclusion, this is rather lacking. I think that the conclusion is one of the hardest sections of the statement to get right, and in this case, the applicant should have at least made some reference to optometry again.

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