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• 40 Useful Words and Phrases for Top-Notch Essays

To be truly brilliant, an essay needs to utilise the right language. You could make a great point, but if it’s not intelligently articulated, you almost needn’t have bothered.

Developing the language skills to build an argument and to write persuasively is crucial if you’re to write outstanding essays every time. In this article, we’re going to equip you with the words and phrases you need to write a top-notch essay, along with examples of how to utilise them.

It’s by no means an exhaustive list, and there will often be other ways of using the words and phrases we describe that we won’t have room to include, but there should be more than enough below to help you make an instant improvement to your essay-writing skills.

If you’re interested in developing your language and persuasive skills, Oxford Royale offers summer courses at its Oxford Summer School , Cambridge Summer School , London Summer School , San Francisco Summer School and Yale Summer School . You can study courses to learn english , prepare for careers in law , medicine , business , engineering and leadership.

General explaining

Let’s start by looking at language for general explanations of complex points.

1. In order to

Usage: “In order to” can be used to introduce an explanation for the purpose of an argument. Example: “In order to understand X, we need first to understand Y.”

2. In other words

Usage: Use “in other words” when you want to express something in a different way (more simply), to make it easier to understand, or to emphasise or expand on a point. Example: “Frogs are amphibians. In other words, they live on the land and in the water.”

3. To put it another way

Usage: This phrase is another way of saying “in other words”, and can be used in particularly complex points, when you feel that an alternative way of wording a problem may help the reader achieve a better understanding of its significance. Example: “Plants rely on photosynthesis. To put it another way, they will die without the sun.”

4. That is to say

Usage: “That is” and “that is to say” can be used to add further detail to your explanation, or to be more precise. Example: “Whales are mammals. That is to say, they must breathe air.”

5. To that end

Usage: Use “to that end” or “to this end” in a similar way to “in order to” or “so”. Example: “Zoologists have long sought to understand how animals communicate with each other. To that end, a new study has been launched that looks at elephant sounds and their possible meanings.”

Adding additional information to support a point

Students often make the mistake of using synonyms of “and” each time they want to add further information in support of a point they’re making, or to build an argument . Here are some cleverer ways of doing this.

6. Moreover

Usage: Employ “moreover” at the start of a sentence to add extra information in support of a point you’re making. Example: “Moreover, the results of a recent piece of research provide compelling evidence in support of…”

7. Furthermore

Usage:This is also generally used at the start of a sentence, to add extra information. Example: “Furthermore, there is evidence to suggest that…”

8. What’s more

Usage: This is used in the same way as “moreover” and “furthermore”. Example: “What’s more, this isn’t the only evidence that supports this hypothesis.”

9. Likewise

Usage: Use “likewise” when you want to talk about something that agrees with what you’ve just mentioned. Example: “Scholar A believes X. Likewise, Scholar B argues compellingly in favour of this point of view.”

10. Similarly

Usage: Use “similarly” in the same way as “likewise”. Example: “Audiences at the time reacted with shock to Beethoven’s new work, because it was very different to what they were used to. Similarly, we have a tendency to react with surprise to the unfamiliar.”

11. Another key thing to remember

Usage: Use the phrase “another key point to remember” or “another key fact to remember” to introduce additional facts without using the word “also”. Example: “As a Romantic, Blake was a proponent of a closer relationship between humans and nature. Another key point to remember is that Blake was writing during the Industrial Revolution, which had a major impact on the world around him.”

12. As well as

Usage: Use “as well as” instead of “also” or “and”. Example: “Scholar A argued that this was due to X, as well as Y.”

13. Not only… but also

Usage: This wording is used to add an extra piece of information, often something that’s in some way more surprising or unexpected than the first piece of information. Example: “Not only did Edmund Hillary have the honour of being the first to reach the summit of Everest, but he was also appointed Knight Commander of the Order of the British Empire.”

14. Coupled with

Usage: Used when considering two or more arguments at a time. Example: “Coupled with the literary evidence, the statistics paint a compelling view of…”

15. Firstly, secondly, thirdly…

Usage: This can be used to structure an argument, presenting facts clearly one after the other. Example: “There are many points in support of this view. Firstly, X. Secondly, Y. And thirdly, Z.

16. Not to mention/to say nothing of

Usage: “Not to mention” and “to say nothing of” can be used to add extra information with a bit of emphasis. Example: “The war caused unprecedented suffering to millions of people, not to mention its impact on the country’s economy.”

Words and phrases for demonstrating contrast

When you’re developing an argument, you will often need to present contrasting or opposing opinions or evidence – “it could show this, but it could also show this”, or “X says this, but Y disagrees”. This section covers words you can use instead of the “but” in these examples, to make your writing sound more intelligent and interesting.

17. However

Usage: Use “however” to introduce a point that disagrees with what you’ve just said. Example: “Scholar A thinks this. However, Scholar B reached a different conclusion.”

18. On the other hand

Usage: Usage of this phrase includes introducing a contrasting interpretation of the same piece of evidence, a different piece of evidence that suggests something else, or an opposing opinion. Example: “The historical evidence appears to suggest a clear-cut situation. On the other hand, the archaeological evidence presents a somewhat less straightforward picture of what happened that day.”

19. Having said that

Usage: Used in a similar manner to “on the other hand” or “but”. Example: “The historians are unanimous in telling us X, an agreement that suggests that this version of events must be an accurate account. Having said that, the archaeology tells a different story.”

20. By contrast/in comparison

Usage: Use “by contrast” or “in comparison” when you’re comparing and contrasting pieces of evidence. Example: “Scholar A’s opinion, then, is based on insufficient evidence. By contrast, Scholar B’s opinion seems more plausible.”

21. Then again

Usage: Use this to cast doubt on an assertion. Example: “Writer A asserts that this was the reason for what happened. Then again, it’s possible that he was being paid to say this.”

22. That said

Usage: This is used in the same way as “then again”. Example: “The evidence ostensibly appears to point to this conclusion. That said, much of the evidence is unreliable at best.”

Usage: Use this when you want to introduce a contrasting idea. Example: “Much of scholarship has focused on this evidence. Yet not everyone agrees that this is the most important aspect of the situation.”

Adding a proviso or acknowledging reservations

Sometimes, you may need to acknowledge a shortfalling in a piece of evidence, or add a proviso. Here are some ways of doing so.

24. Despite this

Usage: Use “despite this” or “in spite of this” when you want to outline a point that stands regardless of a shortfalling in the evidence. Example: “The sample size was small, but the results were important despite this.”

25. With this in mind

Usage: Use this when you want your reader to consider a point in the knowledge of something else. Example: “We’ve seen that the methods used in the 19th century study did not always live up to the rigorous standards expected in scientific research today, which makes it difficult to draw definite conclusions. With this in mind, let’s look at a more recent study to see how the results compare.”

26. Provided that

Usage: This means “on condition that”. You can also say “providing that” or just “providing” to mean the same thing. Example: “We may use this as evidence to support our argument, provided that we bear in mind the limitations of the methods used to obtain it.”

27. In view of/in light of

Usage: These phrases are used when something has shed light on something else. Example: “In light of the evidence from the 2013 study, we have a better understanding of…”

28. Nonetheless

Usage: This is similar to “despite this”. Example: “The study had its limitations, but it was nonetheless groundbreaking for its day.”

29. Nevertheless

Usage: This is the same as “nonetheless”. Example: “The study was flawed, but it was important nevertheless.”

30. Notwithstanding

Usage: This is another way of saying “nonetheless”. Example: “Notwithstanding the limitations of the methodology used, it was an important study in the development of how we view the workings of the human mind.”

Giving examples

Good essays always back up points with examples, but it’s going to get boring if you use the expression “for example” every time. Here are a couple of other ways of saying the same thing.

31. For instance

Example: “Some birds migrate to avoid harsher winter climates. Swallows, for instance, leave the UK in early winter and fly south…”

32. To give an illustration

Example: “To give an illustration of what I mean, let’s look at the case of…”

Signifying importance

When you want to demonstrate that a point is particularly important, there are several ways of highlighting it as such.

33. Significantly

Usage: Used to introduce a point that is loaded with meaning that might not be immediately apparent. Example: “Significantly, Tacitus omits to tell us the kind of gossip prevalent in Suetonius’ accounts of the same period.”

34. Notably

Usage: This can be used to mean “significantly” (as above), and it can also be used interchangeably with “in particular” (the example below demonstrates the first of these ways of using it). Example: “Actual figures are notably absent from Scholar A’s analysis.”

35. Importantly

Usage: Use “importantly” interchangeably with “significantly”. Example: “Importantly, Scholar A was being employed by X when he wrote this work, and was presumably therefore under pressure to portray the situation more favourably than he perhaps might otherwise have done.”

Summarising

You’ve almost made it to the end of the essay, but your work isn’t over yet. You need to end by wrapping up everything you’ve talked about, showing that you’ve considered the arguments on both sides and reached the most likely conclusion. Here are some words and phrases to help you.

36. In conclusion

Usage: Typically used to introduce the concluding paragraph or sentence of an essay, summarising what you’ve discussed in a broad overview. Example: “In conclusion, the evidence points almost exclusively to Argument A.”

37. Above all

Usage: Used to signify what you believe to be the most significant point, and the main takeaway from the essay. Example: “Above all, it seems pertinent to remember that…”

38. Persuasive

Usage: This is a useful word to use when summarising which argument you find most convincing. Example: “Scholar A’s point – that Constanze Mozart was motivated by financial gain – seems to me to be the most persuasive argument for her actions following Mozart’s death.”

39. Compelling

Usage: Use in the same way as “persuasive” above. Example: “The most compelling argument is presented by Scholar A.”

40. All things considered

Usage: This means “taking everything into account”. Example: “All things considered, it seems reasonable to assume that…”

How many of these words and phrases will you get into your next essay? And are any of your favourite essay terms missing from our list? Let us know in the comments below, or get in touch here to find out more about courses that can help you with your essays.

At Oxford Royale Academy, we offer a number of  summer school courses for young people who are keen to improve their essay writing skills. Click here to apply for one of our courses today, including law , business , medicine  and engineering .

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Sentence Starters: Definition, Rules and Remarkable Examples

Sentence starters, also known as transition words or phrases, are vital tools for essay writing. They play a key role in formulating an interesting and well-written introduction, providing smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs, and writing a proper conclusion that summarizes the main points covered. Sentence starters are one of the essential tools of a skilled writer.

Table of Contents

What Are Sentence Starters and Why Are They So Important?

The main function of sentence starters is to tie together words, sentences, and paragraphs in an essay so that the writing flows logically. The sentence starters will help the readers comprehend the content more easily and absorb the meaning. The writing will be well-organized and cohesive.

Reading an essay containing well-placed and thoughtful sentence starters will be much easier, more interesting, and far less tedious. Most readers will be comfortable reading the material and will understand the writer’s intent. Students who use sentence starters expertly can expect to receive higher grades on their essays and exams.

What Are Some Examples of Sentence Starters?

Sentence starters for introductions.

• This essay discusses…
• The definition of…
• In my opinion…
• A popular subject of debate lately has been…
• Until now, I believed…, then I found out that…
• Most people assume that…
• The most recent data suggests that…
• A popular topic for discussion recently has been…
• Recent headlines have shown…

Sentence Starters for Transitioning Between Sentences and Paragraphs

• In contrast,
• Furthermore,
• In addition,
• On the other hand ,
• Consequently,
• As a result,
• Additionally,
• Even though,

Examples of Sentence Starters Used in Sentences

In contrast , Representative Smith supported the new bill enthusiastically.

Moreover , data from a follow-up study found an even better outcome for patients who used this treatment.

Furthermore , other researchers had similar promising results.

Similarly , Dr. John Blake, Professor of Political Science at Stanford University, agreed with Dr. Johnson’s findings.

While the news was positive, experts were cautious about becoming overly optimistic at this point.

On the other hand , the lead engineer, Edward Boswell, disagreed with the proposed remodeling plans.

Although Rachel Turner was against the tentative schedule, she compromised with the rest of the committee .

Whereas Fairfield amended its town ordinance, Weston decided to postpone the action indefinitely.

Sentence Starters for Conclusions

• In summary,
• In closing,
• Ultimately,
• In the final analysis,
• In essence,
• All in all,

Examples of Sentence Starters in Conclusions

• In summary , this analysis shows promising possibilities for new treatments and better outcomes.
• In closing , there are substantive arguments on both sides of the issue. However, I believe that passing this legislation would be the best course of action.
• To sum up , there needs to be more extensive research on these proposals in order to make a sound decision.
• Ultimately , the voters will decide whether the downtown transformation is in the best interests of the city.
• In the final analysis , I believe that Morgan’s proposal is the most promising.
• In essence , Dr. Jackson is advocating for increased spending now which will compromise the town’s future goals.
• All in all , it seems that the proponents of the project have more evidence than does the opposition.

Sentence Starters | Infographic

Crafting Compelling Sentence Starters for Essays

Welcome to our comprehensive guide on mastering sentence starters for essays. Ever wondered how some writers effortlessly hook their readers from the first line, smoothly transition between ideas, and leave a lasting impression?

The secret lies in the artful use of sentence starters. These short phrases are more than just transition words; they're the key to making your paper engaging, coherent, and sophisticated.

In this blog post, we'll shed light on the importance of good sentence starters, provide examples, and guide you on how to use them effectively in different parts of your essay. Whether you're writing an introduction, body paragraph, or conclusion , we've got you covered. But that's not all.

We'll also delve into common mistakes to avoid when using sentence starters and how to adapt them for different types of essays. So, buckle up and get ready to elevate your essay writing skills to new heights. Let's get started!

Understanding the Importance of Good Sentence Starters

Whether you're crafting an academic text or writing a blog , the right sentence starter can make all the difference. It's not just about stringing words together; it's about choosing the right words that will hook the reader and keep them engaged. So, let's delve deeper into understanding the importance of good sentence starters and how they can elevate your writing.

Why Good Sentence Starters are Crucial for Your Writing

Good sentence starters are the backbone of compelling writing. They act as the gateway to your thoughts, guiding the reader through your narrative or argument. They're not just a fancy academic phrase or a tool to meet a word count. They're the key to making your writing flow, to connecting your ideas, and to keeping your reader engaged.

Imagine reading a text that jumps from one point to another without any clear transitions. It would be like trying to follow a map without any signposts. You'd likely get lost, frustrated, and give up. That's exactly what happens when you don't use sentence starters. Your readers can't follow your train of thought, and they lose interest.

When you use sentence starters effectively, you're laying out a clear path for your reader. You're telling them, "Pay attention, this is an important point," or "Here's a contrasting view," or "Let's move on to a new idea." You're hooking the reader, keeping them engaged, and making your writing more impactful.

Examples of Effective Sentence Starters

Here are some examples of effective sentence starters that can elevate your writing:

• "Despite the common belief, ..."
• "Drawing from the data, ..."
• "Contrary to what one might think, ..."
• "Given the circumstances, ..."
• "Taking into account the evidence, ..."
• "As a matter of fact, ..."
• "In light of recent events, ..."
• "Considering the implications, ..."
• "Reflecting on the situation, ..."
• "From a different perspective, ..."

These sentence starters are not just words or phrases; they are the hooks that grab your reader's attention. They are the bridges that connect your thoughts and ideas, making your academic text more coherent and engaging. So, the next time you sit down to write, pay close attention to your sentence starters. They might just be the key to taking your writing to the next level.

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Sentence Starters for Essay Introductions

In this section, we will explore how to use sentence starters effectively in essay introductions, providing you with practical tips and examples.

How to Use Sentence Starters in Essay Introductions

The art of crafting an engaging essay introduction lies in the strategic use of sentence starters. These are not just any random words, but carefully chosen transition words, short phrases, or clauses that guide the reader into the narrative. They serve as a bridge, connecting the title to the body of the essay, and setting the tone for what's to come.

To use a sentence starter effectively, you need to understand its purpose. It's not just about starting a sentence; it's about creating a smooth transition that guides the reader from one idea to the next. It's about shedding light on the purpose of your research, and preparing the reader for the arguments you're about to present.

The goal is to make your paper as readable and engaging as possible. So, don't overuse sentence starters. Use them sparingly, and only when necessary to enhance the clarity and coherence of your essay.

Examples of Sentence Starters for Essay Introductions

Here are some examples of sentence starters that can be used in essay introductions:

• "The purpose of this research is to..."
• "This essay will shed light on..."
• "In answer to the top question..."
• "To paraphrase the research findings..."
• "The essay introduction starters are designed to..."
• "Using a sentence starter, we can..."
• "With the use of transition words, we can..."
• "A short phrase can make your paper more engaging..."
• "Here's a starter example to illustrate..."
• "This sentence starter example will clarify..."

These starters not only grab the reader's attention but also provide a clear roadmap for the essay. They can be used to introduce a new argument, create a smooth transition between paragraphs, or emphasize key ideas. Remember, the goal is to make your writing more compelling and engaging for the reader.

Sentence Starters for Body Paragraphs

Understanding how to use these paragraph starters effectively is crucial in crafting a well-structured essay. They not only introduce new ideas but also create a seamless connection between the previous and the upcoming content.

How to Use Sentence Starters in Body Paragraphs

In essay writing, sentence starters for essays are the secret sauce that adds flavor to your content. They are the transition phrases that guide your reader from one idea to the next, ensuring a smooth journey through your thoughts. When it comes to body paragraphs, these starters play a pivotal role in maintaining the flow and coherence of your essay.

A good paragraph starter doesn't just introduce the next idea, it also ties in with the previous one. It's a bridge that connects the two, making your paper feel like a cohesive whole rather than a collection of disjointed thoughts. So, when you start a body paragraph, consider the content of the previous one and choose a transition that will smoothly carry your reader forward.

Sentence Starters for Essay Conclusions

Wrapping up an essay or research paper with a strong conclusion is just as important as having a compelling introduction. The conclusion is your final chance to leave a lasting impression on your reader, and using the right sentence starters can make all the difference.

These conclusion sentence starters not only help you summarize your findings but also add a touch of sophistication to your writing. They serve as a bridge, connecting your final thoughts and the main body of your work, ensuring a smooth transition that enhances the overall readability of your paper.

Whether you're looking to paraphrase research findings or shed light on the broader implications of your work, the right sentence starter can help you achieve your goal. So, let's delve into the art of using sentence starters for essay conclusions.

How to Use Sentence Starters in Essay Conclusions

When it comes to wrapping up your research paper or essay, the use of conclusion sentence starters can be a game-changer. These short phrases or transition words can help you summarize your findings, restate your thesis, and leave a lasting impression on your reader.

The key to using these sentence starters effectively is to use them sparingly. Overuse can make your paper sound repetitive and unprofessional. Instead, use them to introduce a new idea or to transition smoothly between thoughts.

Another effective way to use a sentence starter is to highlight something important. A well-placed sentence starter can draw the reader's attention to a key point or finding in your research.

Examples of Sentence Starters for Essay Conclusions

Here are some examples of conclusion sentence starters that can be used to wrap up your research paper or essay:

• "In conclusion, it is evident that..." This starter is a classic way to summarize your findings. For instance, "In conclusion, it is evident that the purpose of this research was to shed light on the effects of climate change."
• "Based on the findings, it can be concluded that..." This phrase is perfect for emphasizing the results of your research. For example, "Based on the findings, it can be concluded that regular exercise contributes to improved mental health."
• "Overall, this research sheds light on..." This sentence starter is great for highlighting the broader implications of your work. For instance, "Overall, this research sheds light on the importance of early intervention in education."

The use of a sentence starter or transition word can make your paper more coherent and impactful.

Sentence Starters for Different Types of Essays

Let's explore the specifics of using sentence starters in different types of essays. Whether you're crafting an argumentative, descriptive, or narrative essay, we'll provide you with a starter example to shed light on how to make your paper more compelling. Let's dive in!

Sentence Starters for Argumentative Essays

• "Despite the prevailing belief, I argue that..."
• "The evidence strongly suggests that..."
• "To shed light on this issue, consider the following..."
• "The purpose of this research is to challenge the notion that..."
• "One cannot ignore the fact that..."
• "Drawing upon the data, it becomes clear that..."
• "This argument is further strengthened by the fact that..."
• "In response to this argument, one might assert that..."
• "The crux of the matter is that..."
• "This line of reasoning leads us to conclude that..."
• "In the face of such compelling evidence, it is hard to dispute that..."

Sentence Starters for Descriptive Essays

Here are some sentence starters that can be effectively used in descriptive essays:

• "As I stepped into the room, ..."
• "The first thing that caught my eye was ..."
• "I was immediately struck by ..."
• "The sight that greeted me was ..."
• "I couldn't help but notice ..."
• "The aroma of ... filled the air."
• "The sound of ... echoed in the distance."
• "The taste of ... lingered on my tongue."
• "The touch of ... sent shivers down my spine."
• "The feeling of ... was overwhelming."

These sentence starters can help you set the scene and engage your reader's senses right from the start. Remember, the purpose of a descriptive essay is to paint a vivid picture in the reader's mind. Using these sentence starters can help you achieve that.

Sentence Starters for Narrative Essays

• Setting the Scene : "The sun was setting, casting long shadows across the park as children's laughter echoed in the distance..."
• Introducing a Character : "Meet John, a man of few words but with a story that could fill volumes..."
• Creating Suspense : "As she turned the corner, her heart pounded in her chest, not knowing what she would find..."
• Describing an Event : "The concert was a whirlwind of lights, music, and energy that swept everyone off their feet..."
• Presenting Dialogue : "'I've never seen anything like it,' he whispered, his eyes wide with awe and wonder..."
• Sharing an Inner Thought : "She couldn't help but wonder if this was the right decision, if she was on the right path..."
• Ending with a Cliffhanger : "As the door slowly creaked open, he braced himself for what was to come..."

Common Mistakes to Avoid When Using Sentence Starters

It's not just about knowing a variety of good sentence starters, but also about knowing when and how to use them to hook the reader and emphasize important points. Let's explore these common mistakes and learn how to avoid them.

Overusing the Same Sentence Starters

One of the most common pitfalls when using sentence starters is overusing the same phrase or word. It's like a song on repeat; after a while, it loses its charm. This is especially true in academic texts, where the goal is to hook the reader and keep them engaged.

A good sentence starter can be a great way to introduce a new idea or point. However, if you use the same starter example repeatedly, it can make your writing sound monotonous and uninteresting. It's important to pay attention to this as it can detract from the important points you're trying to make.

Remember, variety is the spice of life, and this holds true for sentence starters as well. Mixing up your sentence starters not only makes your writing more engaging but also helps to maintain the reader's interest.

So, the next time you write, be mindful of the sentence starters you use. Try to incorporate different ones to keep your writing fresh and engaging. This is a great way to ensure that your writing is always at its best.

Using Inappropriate Sentence Starters

One of the most common mistakes that writers make is using inappropriate sentence starters. This usually happens when the writer is not fully aware of the context or the tone of the text. For instance, using a casual sentence starter in an academic text can disrupt the flow and confuse the reader.

It's important to pay attention to the type of text you're writing. If it's an academic paper, using academic phrases as sentence starters is a great way to maintain the formal tone. On the other hand, if you're writing a blog post or a novel, you might want to use more casual or creative sentence starters to hook the reader.

Another important point to remember is that not all sentence starters are suitable for all types of sentences. For example, using a contrasting sentence starter in a sentence that's supposed to add information can lead to misunderstandings.

Final Thoughts on Mastering Sentence Starters for Essays

Mastering the use of sentence starters is a crucial skill for any writer. These transition words and phrases serve as bridges, guiding your reader through your thoughts and arguments. They not only enhance the flow and coherence of your writing but also hook the reader's attention, making your work more engaging and compelling.

However, remember that the effective use of sentence starters requires balance.

Overuse can lead to redundancy, while inappropriate use can confuse your reader. Therefore, it's essential to understand the context and purpose of each sentence starter to use it appropriately.

In the end, the art of using sentence starters is about making your paper more readable and persuasive. So, keep practicing, and soon, you'll find that these handy tools have become an integral part of your writing toolkit.

If you need professional writing help , try Strategically AI for free today.

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Useful Sentence Starters For Academic Writing

In academic writing, sentence starters play a vital role in organizing your ideas, conveying your arguments effectively, and maintaining a flow throughout your research paper. In this blog post, we will explore various sentence starters that can elevate the quality of your academic writing and provide examples tailored to research-based essays.

Why are sentence starters useful

Sentence starters are particularly helpful in introductions to grab the reader’s attention and provide a clear roadmap for the research essay. They can be employed when introducing a new argument or point, creating a smooth transition between paragraphs, or when emphasizing key ideas. Additionally, sentence starters are beneficial in conclusions to summarize key findings, restate the thesis, and leave a lasting impression on the reader.

Moreover, sentence starters are valuable in comparisons to highlight similarities or differences, in sequences or lists to provide a structured flow of ideas, and in elaboration to expand on points or introduce new evidence. They can also be used to express uncertainty or doubt when discussing conflicting perspectives or limitations in the research. Overall, sentence starters add coherence, clarity, and sophistication to academic writing, making it more compelling and engaging for the reader .

Introduction sentence starters for essays

These sentence starters introduce what the paragraph or entire text is about so the readers know what to expect. 

• “This study aims to…”

Example: This study aims to investigate the correlation between social media usage and mental health among teenagers.

• “In recent years, research has shown…”

Example: In recent years, research has shown a growing interest in the potential therapeutic benefits of mindfulness practices.

• “The purpose of this research is to…”

Example: The purpose of this research is to examine the impact of climate change on biodiversity in tropical rainforests.

Conclusion sentence starters

These sentence starters are helpful to hint at the reader that you’re about to wrap things up so they don’t expect any new points or evidence. 

• “In conclusion, it is evident that…”

Example: In conclusion, it is evident that the implementation of renewable energy sources is crucial for mitigating the effects of global warming.

• “Based on the findings, it can be concluded that…”

Example: Based on the findings, it can be concluded that regular exercise contributes to improved cognitive function in older adults.

• “Overall, this research sheds light on…”

Example: Overall, this research sheds light on the importance of early intervention programs for children with learning disabilities.

Good sentence starters for comparisons

These sentence starters show that two things are related or alike. 

• “Similarly,…”

Example: Similarly, both studies observed a significant decrease in cholesterol levels among participants who followed a Mediterranean diet.

• “In contrast to…”

Example: In contrast to previous research, this study found no significant relationship between caffeine consumption and sleep disturbances.

• “Like X, Y also…”

Example: Like previous studies, this research also highlights the impact of air pollution on respiratory health.

Good sentence starters for sequences or lists

Sentence starters for sequences are used to begin or relate lists of instructions or explaining a series of events. 

• “ Firstly, …”

Example: Firstly, the survey gathered demographic information from participants.

• “ Secondly, …”

Example: Secondly, the data analysis involved statistical techniques to identify patterns and trends.

• “Finally, …”

Example: Finally, the study proposed recommendations for future research in this field.

Good sentence starters for elaboration or adding new points

These sentence starters ease the transition from explaining the larger picture to showing examples of minute details. 

• “ Moreover, …”

Example: Moreover, this research emphasizes the importance of incorporating ethical considerations in clinical trials.

• “Additionally, …”

Example: Additionally, previous studies have identified socioeconomic factors as influential determinants of educational attainment.

• “Furthermore, …”

Example: Furthermore, the research findings highlight the need for more extensive sample sizes to draw generalizable conclusions.

Good sentence starters to show uncertainty or doubt

These sentence starters help in explaining to the reader that there is an upcoming contrasting idea or thought.

• “ Although the results suggest…”

Example: Although the results suggest a positive correlation, further investigation is warranted to establish a causal relationship.

• “It is plausible that…”

Example: It is plausible that the observed variations in results could be attributed to differences in sample demographics.

• “It remains unclear whether…”

Example: It remains unclear whether the observed changes in behavior are transient or long-lasting.

In conclusion, sentence starters serve as valuable tools in academic writing, enabling you to structure your thoughts, enhance clarity, and guide readers through your research essays. Use them in abundance yet carefully, as they can enhance your quality of writing significantly.

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When You Write

From Summary to Insight: A Guide to Writing Commentary Essays with Depth

Writing an essay can be daunting, let alone if you’re also providing commentary on it. But the reward of a job well done is worth the effort when you’re finished!

It has been noted that essays with thoughtful commentaries have a higher chance of being accepted for publication. So I’m here to help make it clear that essay writers need to understand the power of commentary and how to incorporate it into their work.

In this article, I’ll share my experience as a writer and provide insight on how to make your voice heard in an essay by using effective commentary. By following my advice, you’ll be able to craft a piece that stands out from the crowd and makes your thoughts shine through!

What Is Commentary In An Essay?

Over the course of your writing, you may have heard of the term ‘commentary’ in relation to essay writing. But what does it mean?

Simply put, commentary is analysis. It’s when you take a text and try to identify the deeper implications at play. In literary texts this could be symbolism, metaphors or dual meanings; with non-fiction texts it could include examining how an author makes use of evidence and arguments to support their position.

Writing a commentary essay requires close reading skills and the ability to interpret a wide range of information. It also requires you to think critically about how ideas are connected and draw conclusions about why certain elements are included in the text.

Commentary is an essential part of any essay because it allows your reader – who may not be as familiar with the text as you – to understand why you have drawn certain conclusions based on your interpretation.

It’s like giving them a guided tour through your thoughts and ideas so they can explore what makes your argument unique and interesting. Commentary also enables you to make connections between different aspects of the text that might not be obvious on first glance, helping bring out its significance even further.

By using commentary effectively, you can write an engaging essay that really gets your point across clearly.

The Significance Of Commentary In Essay Writing

Writing commentary in an essay can be a powerful tool for communicating ideas and arguments. It is essential to engage in critical thinking, interpretation, and analysis when writing commentary. Writing effective commentary requires the ability to construct a well-developed argument that supports the main point of the essay.

Here are 4 key elements of effective commentary:

• A clear thesis statement
• Relevant evidence that supports the argument
• Interpretation and analysis of the evidence
• A conclusion that summarizes the argument

Commentaries should be written with an engaging style that encourages readers to think critically about the topic at hand. Good literary commentary should be accessible, yet thought-provoking; it should both inform and entertain the audience. Additionally, it should challenge preconceived notions about a subject and provide an insightful perspective on why something matters or how it affects our lives.

In order to write effectively, one must first understand their audience and what they hope to communicate through their words. With this knowledge in mind, one can craft a compelling commentary that offers fresh insight into any given topic.

Transitioning seamlessly into the next section…

Key Elements Of Effective Commentary

Like the rising sun that signals a new day, effective commentary can offer a fresh perspective to an essay. With the right words and emphasis, it can engage readers in an entirely new way and bring them closer to understanding your argument.

Like a shimmering beacon of light, it has the power to grab their attention and draw them into your ideas.

Commentary does more than just summarize facts or provide background information – it also evaluates, interprets, and analyses information.

It’s an opportunity for you to delve into the heart of what you’re writing about, offering insight into its significance and exploring potential implications. By taking this approach, you can evaluate the importance of each point and develop your thesis with greater clarity.

Through thoughtful commentary, you can make connections between ideas that your readers may not have previously considered and help them reach their own conclusions about your argument.

Strategies For Writing Potent Commentary In Essays

Writing potent commentary in essays is essential to making a successful argument and gaining the reader’s interest. Here are four strategies that can help you write a good essay commentary:

Develop a strong thesis statement

A thesis statement serves as the core of your essay, and it should be explicit, engaging and supportable by evidence. It should also be concise so that readers can understand your main message immediately.

Understand the topic better

Spend some time researching the topic before you start writing to ensure you have a thorough understanding of it. This will give your commentary more depth and clarity.

Body And Paragraphs Organized

Make sure your body paragraphs are organized logically and clearly explain how your points relate to the overall theme or argument of your essay.

Each paragraph should have a single purpose, and make sure that all sentences within each paragraph work together to support that purpose.

Use literary analysis

When writing your commentary you can draw on elements like tone, imagery, diction, and syntax to make your argument more persuasive and compelling for readers. This will also help them better understand what you’re trying to communicate in your essay.

By incorporating these strategies into your essay writing process, you can create powerful commentary that effectively supports your argument and engages readers with meaningful insight into the text or topic at hand. With these tips in mind, let’s look at how to use quotations and examples in commentary to further enrich our arguments!

The Use Of Quotations And Examples In Commentary

Now that we’ve discussed strategies for writing powerful commentary in essays, let’s explore the use of quotations and examples when constructing these sentences.

Quotations and examples are essential for making strong commentary sentences that support an argument or analysis. When used correctly, they can be a great way to illustrate a point and add interest and texture to your argument.

When including a quotation in your commentary, it is important to make sure it is properly attributed. You should include both the author’s name and the source from which the quote was taken. This not only strengthens your argument by adding credibility, but it also shows you have done your research.

Examples are also effective for proving a point or introducing a new concept. They help to break up longer paragraphs, explain difficult concepts in more detail, and provide evidence or substantiation for an idea or opinion. When using examples in commentary sentences, it is important that they are relevant to the topic at hand and accurately represent what you are attempting to say in your essay.

With this information in mind, let’s move on to examining types of commentary in essays; comprehending the contrasts.

Types Of Commentary In Essays: Comprehending The Contrasts

As a student writing a commentary essay, it is important to understand the differences between analyzing, summarizing, and evaluating. To help comprehend these contrasts, let’s take a look at four main points:

1.      Analyzing – Looking closely at something and breaking it down into smaller parts to better understand it.

2.      Summarizing – Taking the information from a larger group of data and boiling it down into its key elements.

3.      Relating – Exploring how two or more ideas are connected and how they affect each other.

4.      Evaluating – Examining different aspects of an issue or argument and determining its worth or value by expressing an opinion about it.

Using these four points as a framework for writing your commentary essays can help you to be more effective in your analysis, summary and evaluation of any given topic.

Furthermore, this knowledge will also serve you well when crafting strategies for writing literary essays that contain thoughtful commentary elements.

With this in mind, let us now turn our attention to creating such strategies…

Strategies For Writing Commentary In Literary Essays

Having discussed the differences between types of commentary, let’s now turn to strategies for writing effective commentary in literary essays.

When it comes to providing commentary, it is important to understand that you are making a statement about something; whether it be an interpretation or opinion, you need to make a clear statement.

You should also comment on any phrases or passages that have stood out and explain why they are significant.

It is also important to identify the underlying message of the text. This means going beyond surface-level analysis and delving into the deeper meaning of the work.

To do this, think about what is not being said as much as what is being said.

Make sure your comments add depth to your analysis and provide new insights for your readers.

Finally, take care when constructing your sentences so that your points come across clearly and convincingly.

Writing Commentary For Convincing Essays

I’m sure you’re excited to finally get started on writing your commentary for a convincing essay! It can be intimidating to write about something without knowing what type of essay you’re working on. But if you take the time to read through the assignment and passage, you’ll have a much better idea of what you need to write.

When it comes to writing your commentary, try not to worry too much about “sounding smart” or “having all the right answers.” Instead, focus on writing like yourself—in your own voice, with your own ideas. The more authentic and engaging your writing is, the more persuasive it will be to readers.

So don’t be afraid to express yourself—you may just surprise yourself with how creative and interesting your thoughts can be! With that said, let’s move on to creating commentary that supports your thesis statement.

Creating Commentary That Supports Your Thesis Statement

As the saying goes, hindsight is 20/20. Looking back now, it’s clear that writing an effective commentary for a convincing essay requires some finesse and insight.

When starting to write, it’s important to have a good understanding of the topic you are discussing and to provide enough context for your audience to understand what you are discussing. Additionally, it helps to have an understanding of opposing viewpoints before you start writing so that you can avoid falling into common traps.

To create commentary that supports your thesis statement effectively, there are a few things you need to keep in mind:

1.      Make sure your argument is sound and won’t be easily refuted by an opposing point of view.

2.      Avoid introducing new evidence or topics in your commentary; instead focus on the evidence already presented in the essay body.

3.      Take the time to help explain why certain evidence matters and why readers should care about it.

The goal of commentary is not just to express an opinion but also provide meaningful analysis that will help prove or disprove a point of view. By being mindful of these considerations when writing, it is possible to create effective commentary that will help readers better understand your argument and its implications.

Common Mistakes To Avoid In Commentary Writing

I think one of the biggest mistakes I can make when writing a commentary essay is to overgeneralize my points. It’s important to provide specific examples and evidence to back up my opinion and avoid making sweeping conclusions.

Additionally, when writing a commentary essay, it’s also easy to forget to include evidence to support my argument. Making sure to include evidence will make my piece of writing much more convincing and credible.

Avoiding Overgeneralization

When writing a commentary essay, it’s important to avoid overgeneralizing your topic.

Sure, it may be tempting to make sweeping statements about the issue at hand, but this won’t do justice to your argument.

Instead, try to focus on concrete evidence and facts that back up your opinion.

For example, include statistics or subjective accounts from experts in the field.

This will ensure that you don’t come off as too biased or uninformed in your commentary.

By avoiding overgeneralization and being specific in your evidence, you can present a much more convincing argument and captivate readers with innovation.

Remember: always strive for accuracy when building an argument!

Lack Of Evidence

When it comes to commentary writing, one of the biggest mistakes people make is not having enough evidence to back up their argument. Without any supporting evidence, your argument can easily be dismissed as biased and uninformed.

This is especially true when discussing contentious topics like politics or religion. It’s important to remember that you’re usually assigned a commentary essay for a reason—so make sure you have enough facts and figures to give your readers an informed opinion. Otherwise, you may struggle to convince them of your point of view.

To make sure your argument stands out from the crowd, research extensively and use concrete evidence whenever possible. This will show that you’ve put in the effort and will help ensure a more innovative outcome for your audience.

Tips For Revising And Editing Commentary

Revising and editing your commentary is an important step in writing an essay. It helps to ensure that you are conveying the most accurate and persuasive message.

To do this, it’s important to read through your writing again and summarize any points that you noticed while reading. This will allow you to make sure that each point is clear and concise. As students need to be able to write effectively, it is also important to pay close attention to the language used throughout the essay.

Looking for words that could be replaced with more precise ones or focusing on certain aspects of literature can help bring life to a paper.

It is also essential to check for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and other errors before submitting the essay. Making sure all of these elements are correct can help enhance the paper’s overall quality.

Additionally, as you review your work, look for any areas where clarification may be necessary. Taking a second look at what you wrote will help ensure that the reader fully understands all of your points and implications.

By following these tips when revising and editing commentary in an essay, readers can gain a clearer understanding of the author’s intended message.

Examples Of Strong And Poor Commentary In Essays

A necessary part of writing an essay is the commentary. It’s the all-important part that allows for a deeper understanding of what is being written and allows the reader to get a fuller picture of the writer’s thoughts.

Unfortunately, not everyone understands the need to understand commentary. Many writers think they can simply paraphrase their sources without paying attention to how they are using irony or antithesis, missing out on valuable opportunities to add depth and complexity to their work.

Commentary should be used to engage readers in a way that speaks directly to their subconscious desire for innovation. It should be written in a personal tone of voice with contractions and an engaging style that will grab readers’ attention and make them want more.

If done correctly, it can bring new life and insight into an essay, allowing it to stand out from the rest.

Paragraph Construction With Commentary

In this section, I’m going to be talking about paragraph construction with commentary. As part of writing an essay, it is important to think about how you are going to use literary elements and techniques to convey your main idea or argument. I was always taught by my instructor that the way you structure your paragraphs can really make a difference in how effective your message is.

So, let’s take a look at some tips for constructing well-crafted paragraphs that provide an engaging commentary.

First of all, try not to write too long of a sentence as this can lead to confusion for the reader.

Secondly, make sure that each paragraph has one clear point that ties back into the main argument or idea you are trying to convey in your essay.

Finally, use transition words and phrases as needed throughout the essay so that readers can easily follow along with your discussion.

All these steps help ensure that readers understand and appreciate what you have written in your essay. With these tips in mind, let’s move on to discussing transition words and phrases for commentary.

Transition Words And Phrases For Commentary

In the world of higher education, commentary is a powerful tool that can bring literature to life in a way that no other piece can. It’s almost magical how one can take an otherwise mundane poem and turn it into something extraordinary with just a few words. Commentary has the ability to transform isolation into coherence in ways that are simply astounding!

Here is a 4-point list for successful commentary:

1.      Read the text multiple times before writing any comments.

2.      Take notes on what stands out most to you.

3.      Use concrete examples from the text to better illustrate your points.

4.      Be sure to engage with your audience in a way that encourages them to think more deeply about the subject matter at hand.

Commentary is an invaluable skill for anyone looking to make their mark on a piece of literature, so use it wisely and always strive for excellence! With this knowledge, we can now move on to exploring how to write a conclusion with commentary – do’s and don’ts included!

Writing A Conclusion With Commentary: Do’s And Don’ts

Now that you know the transition words and phrases for commentary, it’s time to learn how to write a conclusion with commentary. It can seem complicated, but it doesn’t have to be.

One of the most important things to remember is not to rely too heavily on your homework. Spending too much time memorizing facts and figures won’t help you in the long run when it comes to showcasing your opinion. Therefore, try to focus on critical thinking skills instead of wasting time studying for hours on end.

While two sentences are usually enough for a conclusion, make sure that each one packs a punch and is full of insight and analysis. Hone your skills by getting feedback from others so you can refine your writing and develop a style that resonates with any reader.

This can help ensure that your concluding remarks leave an impactful impression on those who read them.

Overall, effective commentary is essential for producing a successful essay.

Writing commentary allows you to demonstrate your understanding and personal thoughts on the topic and can really amplify your argument.

By incorporating examples, quotations, and other evidence into your commentary, you are able to bring life to your writing in a manner that will make it stand out from the crowd.

As an age-old proverb says, “A picture paints a thousand words”; similarly, strong commentary paints an even grander picture of your argument.

With these tips in mind, I look forward to seeing you all write some truly standout essays!

Recommended Reading...

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Sentence Starters: Ultimate List to Improve Your Essays and Writing

Ashley Shaw

This blog post is going to be about … No. Too boring.

Today, I am going to talk to you about ... No. Too specific.

This is a blog post for all writers ... Nope. Too generic.

Has this ever been you while writing? I get it. Writing a good sentence can be hard, and when you have to string a whole lot of them together, the task can become daunting. So what do you do?

From the first sentence you write to the very last, you want each one to show your style and motivate your reader to keep reading. In this post, we are going to think about how you start your sentences.

What Is a Good Sentence Starter for an Essay Introduction?

What is a good sentence starter for a body paragraph, 25 useful transitions, can i repeat a sentence starter, how can i rephrase "in conclusion".

The first paragraph of a paper can make or break your grade. It is what gets your audience into the topic and sets the whole stage. Because of this, it is important to get your readers hooked early.

The first sentence of a paper is often called the hook. It shouldn’t be anything ordinary. It should have strong language and be a little surprising, with an interesting fact, story, statistic, or quote on the topic.

Because it is designed to pull the reader in and surprise them a little, it is often good to avoid pre-written sentence starter examples when writing your hook. Just get into it here, and worry about the flow later.

Here are some examples:

Spider webs were once used as bandages.

I taught myself to read when I was three. At least, that’s the story my parents tell.

Recent studies suggest that the average person lies at least once in every conversation.

“The world is bleeding and humans wield the knife,” or so says environmental scientist So Andso.

(P.S. Except for example 1, which is true, I just made all of these up to demonstrate my point. So, please don’t quote me on these!)

Once you jump right in with your hook, it is time to start working on ways to move sentences along. Here is where you may need some sentence starter examples.

In your first paragraph, you basically want to connect your hook to your thesis. You’ll do this with a few sentences setting up the stage for your topic and the claim you will make about it. To do that, follow the tips found in the next section on body paragraphs and general sentence starter tips.

Many of the tips I am about to discuss can be used anywhere in a paper, but they are especially helpful when writing body paragraphs.

Let’s start with one of the most important types of sentence starter in essay writing: transition words.

How Do I Use Transitions in an Essay?

If you want to start writing terrific sentences (and improve your essay structure ), the first thing you should do is start using transition words.

Transition words are those words or phrases that help connect thoughts and ideas. They move one sentence or paragraph into another, and they make things feel less abrupt.

The good thing about transition words is that you probably know a lot of them already and currently use them in your speech. Now, you just need to transition them into your writing. (See what I did there?)

Before we get into examples of what a good transition word is, let’s look at a paragraph without any transitions:

I went to the store. I bought bacon and eggs. I saw someone I knew. I said hello. I went to the cashier. They checked me out. I paid. I got my groceries. I went to my car. I returned home.

Yikes! That is some boring writing. It was painful to write, and I am sure it is even worse to read. There are two reasons for this:

• I start every sentence with the same word (more on this later)
• There are no signposts showing me how the ideas in the paragraph connect.

In an essay, you need to show how each of your ideas relate to each other to build your argument. If you just make a series of statements one after the other, you’re not showing your instructor that you actually understand those statements, or your topic.

How do we fix this? Transition words. Roughly 25% of your sentences should start with a transition word. If you can hit that number in your essay, you’ll know that you’ve made meaningful steps towards demonstrating your understanding.

Of course, hitting that number isn’t enough—those transitions need to be meaningful. Let’s look at the different types of transitions and how you can use them.

What Are Words Like First , Next , and Last Called?

You probably already use some transitions in your essays. For example, if you start a paragraph with firstly , you’ve used a transition word. But transitions can do so much more!

Here are 25 common transitional words and phrases that you could use in your essay:

• Additionally / In Addition
• Alternatively / Conversely
• As a result of
• At this time
• Consequently
• Contrary to
• First(ly), Second(ly), etc.
• In contrast
• Nonetheless
• On the other hand
• Particularly / In particular
• In other words

This list isn’t exhaustive, but it is a good start.

These words show different types of relationships between ideas. These relationships fall into four main categories: Emphasis , Contrast , Addition , and Order .

What Are Emphasis Transition Words?

These phrases are used when you want to highlight a point. Examples from my above list include clearly , particularly , and indeed . Want to see some more? Follow my bolded transitions: Undoubtedly , you understand now. It should be noted that you don’t need to worry.

How Do You Use Addition Transitions?

These words add on to what you just said. These are words like along with , moreover , and also . Here are some more: Not only are you going to be great at transitions after this, but you will also be good at writing sentences. Furthermore , everyone is excited to see what you have to say.

How Can I Use Transitions to Contrast Ideas?

This is the opposite of addition, and you use it when you want to show an alternative view or to compare things. Examples from my list include words like nonetheless , contrary to , and besides .

Here are some more: Unlike people who haven’t read this article, you are going to be really prepared to write great sentences. Even so , there is still a lot more about writing to learn.

How Do I Order Ideas in My Essay?

A good first step is using order transition words.

This set of transitions helps mark the passage of time or gives an order to events. From the list, think of things like first and finally . Now for some extras: At this time yesterday , you were worried about starting sentences. Following this , though, you will be an expert.

Now that you get the concept of transitions, let’s go back to that poorly written paragraph above and add some in to see what happens:

This morning , I went to the store. While I was there, I bought bacon and eggs. Then I saw someone I knew. So I said hello. After that , I went to the cashier. At that time , they checked me out. First , I paid. Next , I got my groceries. Following that , I went to my car. Finally , I returned home.

(Notice the use of commas after most of these transitions!)

This isn’t the best paragraph I’ve ever written. It still needs a lot of work. However, notice what a difference just adding transitions makes. This is something simple but effective you can start doing to make your sentences better today.

If you want to check your transition usage, try ProWritingAid’s Transitions report . You’ll see how many of each type of transition word you've used so you can pin-point where you might be losing your reader.

Sign up for a free ProWritingAid account to try it out.

What Are Some Linking Phrases I Can Use in My Essay?

As well as individual words, you can also use short phrases at the beginning of your sentences to transition between ideas. I just did it there— "As well as individual words" shows you how this section of the article is related to the last.

Here are some more phrases like this:

As shown in the example,

As a result of this,

After the meeting,

While this may be true,

Though researchers suggest X,

Before the war began,

Until we answer this question,

Since we cannot assume this to be true,

While some may claim Y,

Because we know that Z is true,

These short phrases are called dependent clauses . See how they all end with a comma? That's because they need you to add more information to make them into complete sentences.

• While some may claim that chocolate is bad for you, data from a recent study suggests that it may have untapped health benefits .
• Since we cannot assume that test conditions were consistent, it is impossible to reach a solid conclusion via this experiment .
• As a result of this, critics disagree as to the symbolism of the yellow car in The Great Gatsby .

The bolded text in each example could stand on its own as a complete sentence. However, if we take away the first part of each sentence, we lose our connection to the other ideas in the essay.

These phrases are called dependent clauses : they depend on you adding another statement to the sentence to complete them. When you use a sentence starter phrase like the ones above in your writing, you signal that the new idea you have introduced completes (or disrupts) the idea before it.

Note: While some very short dependent clauses don’t need a comma, most do. Since it is not wrong to use one on even short ones (depending on the style guide being used), it is a good idea to include one every time.

Along with missing transitions and repeating sentence structure, another thing that stops sentences from being great is too much repetition. Keep your sentences sharp and poignant by mixing up word choices to start your sentences.

You might start your sentence with a great word, but then you use that same word 17 sentences in a row. After the first couple, your sentences don’t sound as great. So, whether it is varying the transitional phrases you use or just mixing up the sentence openers in general, putting in some variety will only improve your sentences.

ProWritingAid lets you know if you’ve used the same word repeatedly at the start of your sentences so you can change it.

The Repeats Report also shows you all of the repeats in your document. If you've used a sentence starter and then repeated it a couple of paragraphs down, the report will highlight it for you.

Try the Repeats Report with a free ProWritingAid account.

Now that you have your introduction sentences and body sentences taken care of, let’s talk a little about conclusion sentences. While you will still use transitions and clauses as in the body, there are some special considerations here.

Your conclusion is what people will remember most after they finish reading your paper. So, you want to make it stand out. Don’t just repeat yourself; tell them what they should do with what you just told them!

Use the tips from above, but also remember the following:

Be unique. Not only should you vary the words you use to start different sentences, but you should also think outside of the box. If you use the same conclusion sentence starter everyone else is using, your ideas will blend in too.

Be natural. Some of the best writing out there is writing that sounds natural. This goes for academic writing, too. While you won’t use phrases like "at the end of the day" in essay writing, stilted phrases like "in conclusion" can disrupt the flow you’ve created earlier on.

Here are some alternatives to "in conclusion" you could use in an essay:

• To review, ... (best for scientific papers where you need to restate your key points before making your final statement)
• As has been shown, ...
• In the final analysis, ...
• Taking everything into account, ...
• On the whole, ...
• Generally speaking, ...

If you’re looking for more ways to rephrase "in conclusion," take a look at our complete list of synonyms you can use.

There may not be a set word or words that you can use to make your sentences perfect. However, when you start using these tips, you’ll start to see noticeable improvement in your writing.

If you’ve ever heard people talk about pacing and flow in academic writing, and you have no idea what they mean or how to improve yours, then this is your answer. These tips will help your writing sound more natural, which is how you help your ideas flow.

Take your writing to the next level:

20 Editing Tips from Professional Writers

Whether you are writing a novel, essay, article, or email, good writing is an essential part of communicating your ideas., this guide contains the 20 most important writing tips and techniques from a wide range of professional writers..

Be confident about grammar

Check every email, essay, or story for grammar mistakes. Fix them before you press send.

Ashley Shaw is a former editor and marketer/current PhD student and teacher. When she isn't studying con artists for her dissertation, she's thinking of new ways to help college students better understand and love the writing process.

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Rhetorical Analysis Sentence Starters: Easy and Effective!

November 2, 2020 //  by  Lindsay Ann //   3 Comments

Sharing is caring!

Are you assigning a rhetorical analysis essay ? Why not try having students use rhetorical analysis sentence starters? 

But, you might say, then students aren’t using their own words. 

When someone says this, I think of that tear-jerky ending scene from Finding Forrester when William Forrester comes out of seclusion to defend his friend, Jamal Wallace, who is being accused of plagiarizing Forrester’s words. “I helped him to find his own words by starting with some of mine,” he says. 

This is exactly what sentence starters for rhetorical analysis can do. 

We give students some of our own words to move them toward more sophisticated analysis. 

This is also an easy way to differentiate for students who may struggle with writing a rhetorical analysis essay. These stems will nudge students to talk about ethos, pathos, and logos , as well as SOAPStone and rhetorical devices.

25 Rhetorical Analysis Sentence Starters

It’s important to teach students to use these stems, but as a springboard to further analysis. 

This means that students should not simply complete the sentence, filling in the blanks (…) and moving on. They must unpack the move the author is making in order to connect it to their focus for rhetorical analysis.

After the starter sentence, it will be necessary for students to dig into “why” the author made that particular choice and “how” it shows purpose, tone, message, etc. For this, students will need to use basic text analysis skills as they unpack words and sections of the text to discuss on a deeper level.

• The writer/author/speaker describes … in order to highlight…
• The writer/author/speaker inspires a sense of … by …
• The writer/author/speaker reminds the audience of … because …
• The purpose of the writer/author/speaker is demonstrated through the organizational pattern of …
• The repetition of … allows the reader to infer …
• Unpacking this word a bit further allows the reader to understand …
• Pursuing a deeper understanding of this topic, the writer/author/speaker reasons …
• The writer/author/speaker allows the reader to connect … and … through use of … device. 
• The writer/author/speaker’s credibility is clear when …
• The use of … contributes to the writer/author/speaker’s tone because…
• It is important to notice that the writer/author/speaker’s tone shifts when … because …
• … and … are loaded words used by the writer/author/speaker because they make the audience feel … 
• The writer/author/speaker’s use of collective pronouns implies…
• Because the writer/author/speaker alludes to … , the listener realizes …
• Organizationally, the opening and closing of this text are important and connected to each other in the way that they…
• The imagery/description of the … creates …
• It is clear that the writer/author/speaker knows his or her audience, because s/he appeals to its sense of …
• The author’s … reasoning allows the audience to …
• … appeals to the audience by …
• … shifts the audience’s perspective by …
• The argument is developed by the writer/author/speaker’s use of …
• The occasion / context shapes the speaker’s message. We see this in …
• The writer/author/speaker inspires a sense of … through use of …
• The overall message becomes clear when … 
• To unpack this device even further …

Action Verbs for Rhetorical Analysis

In addition to the rhetorical analysis sentence starters above, I would suggest dreaming up your own for students to use (or having students come up with them). Every sentence starter needs an action verb. Here’s a list to get you started! 

• Takes a Stand
• Demonstrates
• Establishes
• Alludes to 
• Contributes to
• Joins Together

Thank you so much for allowing me to share some of my favorite rhetorical analysis sentence starters with you! I love hearing from my readers. If you have a question or a thought to share, please leave a comment and I’ll respond as soon as I’m able.

Hey, if you loved this post, I want to be sure you’ve had the chance to grab a FREE copy of my guide to streamlined grading . I know how hard it is to do all the things as an English teacher, so I’m over the moon to be able to share with you some of my best strategies for reducing the grading overwhelm.  Click on the link above or the image below to get started!

About Lindsay Ann

Lindsay has been teaching high school English in the burbs of Chicago for 19 years. She is passionate about helping English teachers find balance in their lives and teaching practice through practical feedback strategies and student-led learning strategies. She also geeks out about literary analysis, inquiry-based learning, and classroom technology integration. When Lindsay is not teaching, she enjoys playing with her two kids, running, and getting lost in a good book.

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April 8, 2023 at 12:43 pm

Lindsay, thank you so much for these tools to support students writing rhetorical analyses. These are really exceptional and student friendly supports.

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Get Talking with These Sentence Starters: The Ultimate Guide

Sentence starters are an essential tool for anyone who wants to improve their writing skills. They are words or phrases that help to introduce the rest of the sentence, typically set apart by commas. The words that start a sentence are some of the most important in writing: They introduce what the sentence is about so the reader knows what to expect.

In this article, we will explore the benefits of using sentence starters in your writing. We will provide you with examples of sentence starters that you can use in your own writing, and we will explain how to use them effectively. Whether you are a student looking to improve your essay writing skills, or a professional looking to enhance your communication skills, this article will provide you with the tools you need to succeed.

Sentence Starters

What are sentence starters.

As the name would suggest, sentence starters are any words or phrases that can be used to perfectly start a sentence. Every sentence is different, so every sentence requires a different starter to really convey a meaning. A common sentence starter like “however” has a very specific purpose. You wouldn’t just be able to throw the word “however” into the first sentence of an essay, for example, because it wouldn’t be compared against anything.

However, it is a good idea to figure out when is the best time to use certain sentence starters to really add something extra to your writing. It will be what separates you from the rest of the crowd when you get a better understanding of how it should all work.

The Importance of Variety in Sentence Starters

When it comes to writing, sentence starters play a crucial role in grabbing the reader’s attention and conveying the message effectively. However, using the same sentence starters repeatedly can make the writing monotonous and dull, leading to a loss of interest from the reader. This is where the importance of variety in sentence starters comes into play.

Using a mixture of different sentence starters can keep the reader engaged and interested in the content. It also adds emphasis to important points in the text and makes the writing more lively and enjoyable to read.

Additionally, using a variety of sentence starters can help the writer to convey different emotions and tones in their writing. For example, using a rhetorical question as a sentence starter can create a sense of curiosity and make the reader think deeply about the topic. On the other hand, using a declarative sentence as a starter can convey a sense of confidence and authority.

To achieve variety in sentence starters, writers can use a combination of techniques such as varying the length and structure of sentences, using different types of phrases, and incorporating transitional words. By doing so, the writing becomes more dynamic and engaging, making the reader want to keep reading.

Types of Sentence Starters

When it comes to writing, it’s important to have a variety of sentence starters in your arsenal. Different types of sentence starters can help you achieve different effects in your writing. In this section, we’ll cover three types of sentence starters: conjunction starters, adverb starters, and prepositional phrase starters.

Conjunction Starters

Conjunction starters are words that are used to connect two ideas or thoughts. They can be used to show contrast, addition, or cause and effect. Some common conjunction starters include:

Adverb Starters

Adverb starters are words that modify the verb in a sentence. They can be used to describe how, when, where, or to what extent something is happening. Some common adverb starters include:

• Nevertheless
• Furthermore
• Additionally

Here are some examples of adverb starters in use:

• “However, he didn’t let that stop him from pursuing his dreams.”
• “Nevertheless, she persisted in her efforts to make a change.”
• “Furthermore, the study found that the results were consistent across all age groups.”
• “Therefore, it is important to take precautions to prevent the spread of the virus.”
• “Additionally, the report showed that there was a significant increase in sales.”

Prepositional Phrase Starters

Prepositional phrase starters are words that are used to describe the relationship between two things in a sentence. They can be used to show location, time, or direction. Some common prepositional phrase starters include:

Here are some examples of prepositional phrase starters in use:

• “In the morning, she always enjoyed a cup of coffee.”
• “On the way to work, he listened to his favorite podcast .”
• “At the party, she met some new friends.”
• “With a little practice, he became an expert at playing the guitar.”
• “By the end of the day, she was exhausted from all the work.”

Examples of Sentence Starters

When it comes to writing, sentence starters can be incredibly useful. They can help writers get their thoughts flowing, organize their ideas, and make their writing more engaging. In this section, we’ll take a look at some examples of sentence starters that can be used for different types of writing.

For Storytelling

When telling a story, it’s important to hook your readers from the very beginning. Here are some sentence starters that can be used to do just that:

• Once upon a time…
• It all started when…
• In a far-off land…
• Long ago and far away…
• Deep in the heart of…

These sentence starters can be used to set the scene and draw the reader in. Once you’ve hooked your reader, you can use the following sentence starters to move the story along:

• Later that day…
• The next morning…

When writing an essay, it’s important to clearly state your argument and support it with evidence. Here are some sentence starters that can help you do just that:

• According to…
• In contrast…
• On the other hand …
• For example …

These sentence starters can be used to introduce evidence and support your argument. Additionally, you can use the following sentence starters to transition between paragraphs:

• Moving on to…
• In conclusion …
• Taking a closer look…
• Another important point…
• It’s worth noting that…

For Business Writing

When writing for business, it’s important to be clear and concise. Here are some sentence starters that can help you achieve that:

• As previously mentioned…
• To summarize…
• In other words…
• To put it simply…
• The bottom line is…

These sentence starters can be used to summarize information and make your writing more concise. Additionally, you can use the following sentence starters to make requests or give instructions:

• I would appreciate it if…
• Please be advised that…
• Kindly note that…
• In order to…
• It is imperative that…

By using these sentence starters, you can make your business writing more effective and efficient.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

When it comes to using sentence starters, there are some common mistakes that writers should avoid. Here are a few to keep in mind:

Overusing the Same Sentence Starter

One of the most common mistakes writers make is overusing the same sentence starter throughout their writing. While sentence starters can be helpful in guiding the reader through your writing, using the same one repeatedly can make your writing sound repetitive and monotonous. To avoid this, try using a variety of sentence starters throughout your writing.

Using Sentence Starters Incorrectly

Another mistake writers make is using sentence starters incorrectly. For example, beginning a sentence with “and” or “but” can be effective in some cases, but it’s important to use these words appropriately. Additionally, some sentence starters may not be appropriate for certain writing styles or contexts. Make sure to consider the tone and purpose of your writing before using a particular sentence starter.

Failing to Vary Sentence Structure

Using sentence starters can be a great way to vary sentence structure and keep your writing engaging. However, it’s important to also vary the structure of your sentences themselves. Using the same sentence structure repeatedly can make your writing sound dull and uninteresting. Try experimenting with different sentence structures to keep your writing fresh and engaging.

Neglecting Punctuation

Finally, it’s important to remember that sentence starters are just one aspect of good writing. Neglecting punctuation can make your writing difficult to understand and detract from its overall effectiveness. Make sure to use punctuation correctly and consistently throughout your writing.

By keeping these common mistakes in mind, writers can use sentence starters effectively to improve the flow and readability of their writing.

In conclusion, sentence starters are an essential tool that writers use to make their work more organized, coherent, and easy to read. They help to create a smooth flow of ideas and thoughts, making it easier for the reader to follow the writer’s argument or story.

Good sentence starters can be used in different types of writing, including essays, articles, research papers, and even fiction. They help to introduce new ideas, provide evidence, summarize key points, and make transitions between paragraphs and sections.

The use of sentence starters can also help to improve the quality of writing by making it more engaging and captivating. They can be used to create suspense, add emphasis, and convey emotions. Additionally, sentence starters can help to make writing more concise and clear, avoiding ambiguity and confusion.

Overall, using sentence starters is an effective way to improve the quality of writing and make it more organized, coherent, and engaging. Whether you are a student, a professional writer, or someone who enjoys writing for fun, incorporating sentence starters into your work can help you achieve your writing goals and captivate your audience.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are some effective ways to start a sentence?

There are many effective ways to start a sentence, but it all depends on the context and purpose of your writing. Some common ways to start a sentence include using transitional words and phrases, such as “however,” “in addition,” or “meanwhile,” or starting with a strong subject or action verb. You can also use rhetorical questions, quotes, or interesting facts to grab the reader’s attention and set the tone for your writing.

How can sentence starters be used in persuasive writing?

Sentence starters can be very useful in persuasive writing because they can help you introduce your argument and provide evidence to support it. Some effective sentence starters for persuasive writing include “it is clear that,” “research shows that,” or “experts agree that.” These types of sentence starters can help you establish credibility and persuade your reader to agree with your point of view.

What are some common transition sentence starters?

Common transition sentence starters include “however,” “in addition,” “meanwhile,” “therefore,” and “consequently.” These words and phrases can help you connect ideas and create a smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs.

What are some sentence starters for creative writing?

Creative writing often requires more varied and imaginative sentence starters to create a unique and engaging story. Some examples of sentence starters for creative writing include “once upon a time,” “suddenly,” “in a far-off land,” or “the world was never the same again.” These types of sentence starters can help you set the scene, create suspense, or introduce a new character or plot twist.

How can sentence starters be used in speaking?

Sentence starters can be very useful in speaking because they can help you organize your thoughts and communicate your ideas more effectively. Some effective sentence starters for speaking include “I believe that,” “in my opinion,” or “from my experience.” These types of sentence starters can help you express your ideas clearly and confidently.

What are some sentence starters for providing evidence?

When providing evidence to support your argument, it’s important to use sentence starters that clearly indicate the source and relevance of your evidence. Some effective sentence starters for providing evidence include “according to,” “as demonstrated by,” or “for example.” These types of sentence starters can help you present your evidence in a clear and convincing way.

Last Updated on August 9, 2023

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Sentence Starters: Useful Words and Phrases You Can Use As Sentence Starters

Posted on Last updated: October 24, 2023

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Sentence Starters! Here you will find a useful list of common sentence starters that you can use in a discussion as well as in essay writing. Learn these sentence starters to improve your English speaking and writing skills.

Table of Contents

Sentence Starters

Sentence starters | common phrases.

• (The topic) has fostered a debate on …
• A sensible idea would be to…
• We all know that…
• It is said that…
• It is believed that…
• People assumed that…
• There is growing support for the notion that …
• The data gathered in the study strongly suggests that …
• The supposition drawn from this being that…
• Leading to the supposition that…
• This can be argued that..
• The source suggest…
• My own feeling on the subject is that …
• Generally speaking…
• As far as I know…
• As far as I am concerned…
• I believe that…
• The focus of discussion in this paper is …
• The premise of (the topic) seems to be based on …
• Latest research corroborates the view that …
• Most people would agree that…
• It is estimated…
• The reader supposed that…
• It is clear that…
• Everybody knows that…
• Surely you would agree that…
• This clearly shows that…
• I discovered…
• We always…
• This indicates…
• Demonstrating that…
• It is vital that…
• It wouldn’t be very difficult to…
• The real truth is that…
• Are we expected that…
• The fact is that…
• I felt as…
• I think/ I believe that…
• It seems to me that…
• We concluded that…
• My perspective is…
• I agree with…
• Have you thought about…
• In other words…
• I see what you mean but…
• I share your point of view on…
• In my opinion…

Transition Words Used as Sentence Starters

Words to add an idea

• In addition to
• For instance
• For example
• As an example
• Additionally
• Furthermore
• Another reason
• Coupled with
• Correspondingly
• In addition
• Identically
• One other thing

Words that show cause

• Accordingly
• As a result
• Consequently
• For this reason
• For this purpose
• Subsequently
• This is why
• Following this
• As you can see
• For all of those reasons

Words that show contrast

• Comparatively
• Different from
• Even though
• However ( however synonyms )
• In comparison
• Nevertheless
• In contrast
• On the one hand…
• On the other hand
• On the contrary

Words that add emphasis

• Generally speaking
• For the most part
• In this situation
• No doubt (undoubtedly)
• Particularly
• Unquestionably

Sentence Starters | Infographic

ALIYI Ahmad

Sunday 30th of April 2023

This great gift thank you forever

Wednesday 7th of December 2022

thank that helped m out alot

Thursday 1st of December 2022

Amazing list. It helps change up how you start your sentence, and it helps for writers to keep readers engaged.

Friday 27th of May 2022

so i think that there should be more expansion so we can tell the reader a bit more about what is happening

Wednesday 6th of April 2022

i like his book

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Sentence Starters To Broaden Your Vocabulary in Analysing Argument

June 8, 2022

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Go ahead and tilt your mobile the right way (portrait). the kool kids don't use landscape....

Writing an Analysing Argument (or Language Analysis) essay can be difficult, and sometimes selecting language that won’t sound repetitive is the tricky part. If you’re looking for ways to overcome that hurdle and make your writing sound more formal, then this is the blog for you. 

In these tables are simple sentence starters you can use to formalise and clarify your ideas in a non-repetitive way. This blog takes into account the most important elements of a Language Analysis, such as analysing visuals and connecting a technique back to the author’s intention (that is, what they want the audience to think/feel/do). 

Within these tables, I’ve included a sentence example for each phrase. The examples are in response to a fictional article by Samantha Pearson, What’s wrong with using online lingo in everyday life?. The article is about Gen Z's use of online lingo and argues that the concern surrounding its potential implications is unfounded. If you’d like to see the entire original article and an A+ essay written in response (along with a number of other sample articles and high-scoring essays), you’ll find all of this and more in How To Write A Killer Language Analysis .

If you’d like to see a detailed guide on Language Analysis, including what you're expected to cover, how to prepare for your SAC and Exam and more, check out our Ultimate Guide to VCE Language Analysis .

Get our FREE VCE English Text Response mini-guide

Now quite sure how to nail your text response essays? Then download our free mini-guide, where we break down the art of writing the perfect text-response essay into three comprehensive steps. Click below to get your own copy today!

Access a FREE sample of our How To Write A Killer Language Analysis study guide

• Learn LSG's unique SIMPLICITY and SPECIFICITY strategy which has helped hundreds of students achieve A+
• Includes annotated sample A+ essays (including responses to past VCAA exams)
• Learn how to analyse single articles and visuals , and comparative analysis (analysing 2 or 3 articles/visuals together)
• Different types of essay structures broken down so you understand what to do and what not to do with confidence

[Modified Video Transcription]

What's up everyone! So, I want to get a new segment started and it's pretty much the ‘essay questions with Lisa Tran’ segment. And basically, what this includes is every now and then I will choose a topic on one of your suggestions of whatever book, or film you’re studying, and break that down together with you on camera, on YouTube. So, if you like the idea of that, then make sure you give this video a thumbs up so that I know that this is something that you're super keen on and that you'll find helpful. 

So, I've taken liberties (since this is the first one that we've ever done) of choosing my own essay topic that I was interested in doing. It's based on The Handmaid's Tale , and if any of you have read this or watched it (it's a TV series on Hulu) I have read and watched both and it has just been sensational, so I wanted to basically break down this prompt with you. If it's something that you haven't watched, or if you haven't read it, that's not a problem at all because the skills that I will be teaching you when it comes to breaking down an essay topic will be invaluable when it comes to actually applying it to your own studies. So, let's get started. 

The Handmaid's Tale Quick Summary

Just as a really quick summary (that will probably butcher the overall meaning and the experience that you get from the book, but I don't want to really spoil it for you either), The Handmaid’s Tale is set in this future world where America, or the United States, has become a dystopian society, and women in particular are reduced to nothing more than just a child bearing species. Men are in charge and these women, who are deemed to be people who can give birth, are kept alive and kept around in these rich people's homes or people who are higher up in the hierarchy, and they basically have to have sex with the male leader of the home and just create children, and that is their purpose. If they're no longer fertile, then they'll pretty much be out-casted from society and rejected. 

As a book, it's very thought-provoking because it's set in the future. Of course, this is something that we cannot guarantee won't actually happen. It's really scary to see how a world that was progressive (because they lived in modern American society, there was a lot of free movement happening, there were same-sex relationships that were out in the open, people were taking contraceptives) regressed, and it went back to a lot of old values that we had moved on from. It really opens up a pot of questions that you can ask about where we’re going as a society, where we think we're going as a society and where we'll actually end up. 

That's just my quick two minute spiel. If you wanted to get your hands on the book then I highly recommend it - I'll pop it down in the description box below (on Youtube). 

Part 1: Brainstorm

The question here is ‘Atwood’s concerns in The Handmaid's Tale go beyond women's freedom’ Discuss.

  So, the first thing I always do is I look at the keywords; we've got ‘Atwood’s concerns’ , ‘go beyond ’ and ‘women's freedom’ . 

The reason why we look at keywords is because we want to confirm to ourselves (as the writer of this essay), that we are going to stay focused and not go off topic with the essay topic, and the keywords will ensure that not only we stay on topic, but they emphasize the ideas that we really need to focus on. So, let's break down each of the keywords individually.

‘Atwood’s concerns’ 

This means that we have to focus on the author's intention or message in writing The Handmaid's Tale . We'd be thinking about ‘what ideas does she criticize or condemn?’, or ‘what does she endorse on the other hand?’

‘go beyond’

So, ‘go beyond’ is a very straightforward way of saying that an essay that is only focused on women's freedom probably won't be holistic or well-rounded enough. We have to look beyond the obvious. 

‘women’s freedom’

The third one is ‘women's freedom’ . So, what does this mean? To live in a patriarchal society, to be constantly monitored by guards and potential eyes. 

It's very easy to slip into just speaking about handmaids. Like I mentioned before, there's a male lead in the house who is the highest up in the hierarchy. He has a wife as well. Serena Joy is a perfect example of someone who on the surface ranks as the highest in female roles, because she is the wife of the commander. So, we see things from her perspective.

Part 2: Main Arguments

From this exploration of the key words, I can come up with two main body paragraphs. The two ideas are one:

‘To live in a chilling, post-modernism dystopia, Atwood showcases the evils of the patriarchy ’

My second one is:

‘Moreover, Atwood reveals how, despite being at the top of the female hierarchy as commander’s wives, even they suffer’

Let's have a look at both of these ideas individually. 

‘To live in a chilling, post-modernism dystopia, Atwood showcases the evils of the patriarchy’

Some of my rationale behind this idea include one: Offred, who is our protagonist. Offred is actually not her real name, and because Offred is not her real name, she therefore represents any type of handmaid. She's just another one of them with a name assigned to her. Our identity is connected with our name, so her identity, which is what makes her feel human, is completely shredded from her. She has trouble remembering what she even used to look like.

The second thing is that it's dehumanizing. It doesn't matter whether Offred is intelligent, educated or even beautiful, what matters are viable ovaries and therefore, she's classified as a handmaid, and this is her last chance at being able to survive in this type of society. 

The third one is that she isn't even given the freedom to take her own life. Suicide is almost impossible, “I know why there was no glass in front of the watercolor picture of the blue irises, and why the window opens only partly and why the glass in it is shatter-proof. It isn’t running away they're afraid of. We wouldn't get that far. It's those other escapes, the ones you can open in yourself, given a cutting edge”. For us as humans, we get the opportunity to do things that we want, but even to take her own life away, to save herself from the world that she's living in, is impossible. 

Onto our second idea.

The first example I have for this is how Serena Joy, the commander’s wife, actually used to have her own television show. She used to be really popular, she was a celebrity, and yet she's been reduced to basically just being the commander's wife, where she lurks around in the house. She really doesn't do that much anymore, she's just there to support her husband and that is her role. 

The second example is that she's forced to partake in a ritual where her husband has sex with a handmaid, “Which of us is it worse for, her or me?” (her meaning Offred). So, you can see that even for a commander’s wife, somebody who is in a high position in this society (she's the elite basically of what women could be), even she is suffering. 

Going back to our keyword of ‘go beyond’  

This means that in fact, we should speak about other major issues in the novel and not just about female concerns. Our first two ideas revolve around female concern, but let's see what else we could discuss. To me, another major issue revolving around freedom that's important to talk about is ‘has the Gilliad society actually influenced men and men's freedom?’ It's super easy to just target men and say that, you know, men are in power now and so it's all about the women, but there are ample examples that show that even the men are suffering. 

Of course there are heaps of other issues that are brought forward in The Handmaid's Tale , but the ideas that I’ve discussed here are the ones that personally interest me the most, meaning that I've got a lot more to say and a lot more opinion to offer in my discussion. 

At this point, I'll leave it up to you guys. If you have read or watched The Handmaid's Tale , tell me what you think or ask me any questions you have about how you would structure this essay. I'd really love to have a productive discussion with you that includes some critical thinking on your part. So, let's get it started. 

If you like this type of advice, you may like joining my mailing list . Basically I send out weekly emails to you where I answer student questions and give you more advice, tips and resources that I don't give anywhere else. 

And, if you're in need of a more detailed guide on Text Response, check out our Ultimate Guide to VCE Text Response .

It's 32 degrees today for the first time in Melbourne, in like forever, so I'm going to the beach and I'm going to spoil myself right now. I'll see you guys next week. Bye!

Over the years I have seen many exceptional essays. What has really surprised me in the past is when I compare high-scoring essays. In one instance, I read one English student's essay (raw study score of 50) after another student's (raw study score of 46). What do you think contrasts between a student who achieves 50 and a student who achieves 46 (bearing in mind of course, that these two scores are already amazing!)? For me, I had assumed that a major contributor to the perfect score of 50 must be better vocabulary. You would think so too right?

NO! In fact, the student of 46 had embedded heaps of complex and amazing-sounding words in her essay - much more than those used by the student who obtained a 50. Oddly, the perfect scorer had  hardly any  complex vocabulary in her piece. But this  ironically , was the strength of her essay. Because she wasted little time on trying to throw in lots of fancy vocabulary, she was able to focus on exploring  complex ideas  in her essay instead. This is what examiners are after. So if you're struggling with vocabulary, don't worry - not all hope is lost!

One of the biggest struggles is to 'improve vocabulary' in VCE. So many students are caught up trying to improve their vocabulary or using 'big words' that they don't realise the worst thing yet:  using bigger words can actually hurt your essay . Yes, you read it right. Even research has actually found that using complex or big words in an essay can backfire for the student!

Reasons why using big words can worsen your essay:

1. Obstructs clarity of ideas.

Readability is the ease with which a written text can be understood by the reader. In other words, how easy it is to read an essay and how enjoyable that read is. I'm sure you've read a novel in the past that was quite difficult to read because of its extensive vocabulary. On the other hand, you will find a book much more enjoyable to read when you're not struggling your whole way through deciphering words. The same applies to essays. Examiners focus heavily on your exploration and interpretation of ideas. If you have great ideas, only to overload with vocabulary just look to make yourself look smarter, it's only going to make it harder for your examiner. Just like if you had simplistic ideas and filled your essay with fancy vocabulary, it's not going to make the idea seem any more insightful. See the example below:

Student 1: 'In a plethora of elements gender inequalities prevail over the women of Nigeria.'

Student 2:  'Gender inequalities prevail over women's lives in Nigeria.'

The 'plethora of elements' is just another way of saying 'several aspects'. By trying to use nice vocabulary, this student actually reduced the meaning of their sentence, making it harder for the teacher to understand the student's idea. Remember to keep your essays straightforward, don't drown them with vocabulary that's unnecessary.

2. You seem dumber.

No offence. Writing with bigger words doesn't mean you're smarter. It is very easy to pick up when a student is simply using a thesaurus to find synonyms - because your sentence will look like this: basic basic basic COMPLEX basic basic COMPLEX basic basic. There is a clear discrepancy! Don't use 'utilise' when you can just write 'use'. You seem pompous (no offence, again!). Write clearly and simply if you can, and you’ll be more likely to be thought of as intelligent! This meme below sums up the point very well:

3. You're using it wrong.

Using a similar word is not always the RIGHT word. Let's take the word 'persuade' as an example. We're always trying to find new synonyms for 'persuade' in Language Analysis (and I do have a list for you here). The word 'entice' is by no means similar to the word 'coerce' because of the different connotations they are both associated to. To entice is to persuade through attraction or tempting the reader by offering an advantage, whereas to coerce is to persuade (an unwilling person) to do something by using force or threats. Be wise when you choose synonyms, because they do not carry the exact same meaning as the original word you intended to use!

KEY TIP: Do not use big words, do not use small words, use the RIGHT words.

So, how do you find the right word bank for you.

The conditions of your vocabulary bank should be suited to your specific needs. A focus on a need or theme enables more visible connections within the vocabulary bank. Having those connections will make it easier to 'memorise' new terms. Instead of compiling a dense 20-page glossary, try breaking your vocabulary bank up into smaller, specific sections like 'new verbs'.

Now, let's find new verbs instead of the typical bolded words below to express the author's intention:

• The author  argues
• The author  shows  
• The author  criticises
• The author  supports

- Branch off 'argue' (Fervent tone): contends, asserts, posits, proffers…

- Branch off 'shows' (Neutral tone): demonstrates, exposes, elucidates, delineates, explicates…

- Branch off 'criticises' (Negative tone): condemns, denigrates, lampoons, parodies…

- Branch off 'supports' (Positive tone): praises, endorses, exalts, lauds…

Next, take your new vocabulary from storage to use:

After clarifying their definitions, try using some of your new words in a sentence or a paragraph, relating to either your texts or analysing argument. You can also extend your vocabulary bank by adapting the words to different sentence structures:

Original sentence: The author  criticises  the superficiality of our consumerist culture.

Substitution: Theauthor  condemns  the superficiality of our consumerist culture.

Adaptation:  In a  condemnatory  tone, the author  delineates  the ostentation of our consumerist culture.

Original sentence: The author  argues  that gender is an arbitrary concept.

Substitution:  The author  asserts  that gender is an arbitrary concept.

Adaptation:  Asserting  that gender is an arbitrary concept, the author  explicates  the categorist nature of human understanding.

Using convoluted expressions can be fun or exasperating! Whilst demonstrating extensive vocabulary may raise your mark, the key is to ensure harmony between your words and your understanding.

Remember: Do not use big words, do not use small words, use the RIGHT words.

The second half of this blog post was written by Joyce Ling.

David Malouf’s Ransom and Stephan Frears’ The Queen was a brand-new text pairing added to the study design in 2020. It is a unit with many nuances and intricacies to discuss, making it a perfect pairing to unpack in an essay topic breakdown!  

For some context, backstory and a plot summary of both Ransom and The Queen , head to an earlier post Understanding Ransom and The Queen . This may help with your understanding of the essay prompt later in this post. And if you need a refresher on what the Comparative is, see our Ultimate Guide to VCE Comparative .

Overall, both Ransom and The Queen overlap fairly heavily in terms of key themes, ideas and messages. Even if you haven’t watched The Queen or read Ransom yourself, the essay topic I have chosen can give you an idea of how to seamlessly integrate such thematic overlaps and similarities into your own writing, whilst also acknowledging the differences in both texts.

Breaking Down the Prompt: THINK

Whenever you get a new essay topic, you can use LSG’s THINK and EXECUTE strategy , a technique to help you write better VCE essays. This essay topic breakdown will focus on the THINK part of the strategy. If you’re unfamiliar with this strategy, then check it out in How To Write A Killer Text Response .

Within the THINK strategy, we have 3 steps, or ABC. These ABC components are:

Step 1: A nalyse

Step 2: B rainstorm

Step 3: C reate a Plan

The Essay Prompt:

'it is true that the gods made me a king, but they also made me a man, and mortal.' – Priam (87-88)

'Your Majesty, there’s a last minute addition from Downing Street. They’re suggesting adding and as a grandmother here.' – Janvrin (Script, 87th Minute)

How do both texts explore the tensions that are created between a person’s public and private life? 

Step 1: Analyse 

This prompt is both a quote-based, and a how-based prompt (learn more about the five types of prompts here). This means that the examiner wants us to explain how the text creators (Frears and Malouf) convey tensions between one’s public and private life, using the quote to help us do so.

Step 2: Brainstorm

First, let’s break down the prompt part of the essay question. Here, the keywords are:

‘tensions’ - we have to focus on the contrast, and the hardships, that stem from the characters in both texts as they juggle their roles as leaders and individuals of their own accord. These difficulties are explored in more detail in an earlier LSG blog Ransom and The Queen.

‘public and private lives’ - invites us to consider the individuals in both texts, specifically leaders such as Queen Elizabeth and Priam, who have distinctly different public and private personas. Specifically, we want to focus on how the differences that arise between these two ‘lives’ suggest that compromises must be made in order for leaders to perform their role to its greatest potential.

Now it’s time to break down the quote itself!

Both the quotes from Ransom and The Queen illustrate points of tension in the lives of leaders.  

Priam’s quote occurs toward the climax of Ransom . The examiner is directing you to discuss how being ‘a man’ , and therefore seemingly unremarkable in nature, challenges Priam’s existence as a ‘king’ , thus creating a point of tension in his reign.

Similarly, Janvrin’s quote also highlights how being a ‘grandmother’ is a role that must be performed by Queen Elizabeth in conjunction with her existence as the Queen of England. Yet, the inclusion of ‘Downing Street’ in this quote also moves you to consider how the queen’s own private affairs, such as Diana’s death, must be handled in conjunction with an outside team such as Tony Blair as British Prime Minister, thus entangling both her public and private personas.

Through both quotes, it is evident that when responding to how Frears and Malouf explore tensions in their respective texts, you should analyse the key characters of each text and their roles as both leaders and individuals in their own right. 

I’ve grouped my ideas in a logical order so you can easily identify how each idea relates to my essay plan in Section C. During your own brainstorming, this will be difficult to achieve, so just keep in mind that you don’t need a logical layout of ideas until the planning stage!

• At the beginning of both texts, each protagonist fails to recognise and adequately perform their role as a ‘man’ and ‘grandmother’ respectively, due to their duties as a leader. This leaves them out-of-touch with the people around them, suggesting that being a leader can negatively impact one’s relationships with those they care about most.
• Priam refers to himself as ‘mortal’ in the prompt, revealing his own vulnerability. Furthermore, the inclusion of ‘Downing Street’ encourages discussion surrounding Tony Blair and his role as a public figure. In both cases, these men express their emotions to their people and those closest to them, leaving them open to backlash and criticism of their authority as leaders.
• For Queen Elizabeth, expressing her grief ‘as a grandmother’ allows her to connect emotionally to her people and regain their support, whilst for Priam, appearing to Achilles simply as ‘a man’ enables him to return to Troy both successful in his mission and respected by his people. This reveals that leaders should not let their public and private lives evoke tension, but rather should harness elements of each respective realm to build a modern, effective and relatable leadership style.

Step 3: Create a Plan

By dissecting the prompt’s keywords and briefly analysing the quote and its meaning, I have come up with three main points:

Paragraph 1: In both texts, Frears and Malouf suggest that in allowing themselves to be controlled by their public personas, leaders may struggle to connect with both their people and their own families

• Ransom : Somax is initially unable to connect with Priam due to his adherence to royal protocol and tradition
• The Queen : Queen is unable to provide emotional support to her grandsons following their mother’s death, due to her own stoicism and emotionally distant nature 

Paragraph 2: Yet, in revealing an aspect of their personal lives, leaders risk compromising their public authority

• Ransom : When Priam breaks protocol and leaves the walls of Troy, the Trojan people question the strength and competence of their leader
• The Queen : Tony Blair’s unconventional style means he initially fails to gain respect from the Royal Family, despite being elected British Prime Minister

Paragraph 3: This delicate balance between one’s public and private lives is achieved most successfully when leaders reveal an element of their private selves and make themselves vulnerable and relatable to their people.

• Ransom : Priam recognises the importance of being a father as well as a leader, allowing him to bury Hector’s body whilst retaining respect and admiration from his people
• The Queen : By adopting Blair’s suggestions and addressing the British people in an honest, vulnerable way, Queen Elizabeth is able to regain their trust and respect.

Stephen Frears’ film The Queen , set in contemporary England, and David Malouf’s novel Ransom , taking place in Ancient Greece, both explore the concept that one’s public identity can create tensions between their ceremonial constructed persona, and their own private identities. In both texts, Frears and Malouf (1) suggest that in allowing themselves to be controlled by their public personas, leaders may struggle to connect with their people, and their own families. Yet, in revealing an aspect of their own lives, they may also risk compromising their own public authority. This delicate balance between one’s public and private lives, therefore, is conveyed throughout Ransom and The Queen to be achieved most successfully when leaders reveal an element of their private lives and make themselves both vulnerable and relatable to their people, harnessing aspects of both their public and private lives in order to confidently perform their roles to the greatest extent possible. (2)

Annotations (1) Make sure to refer to the author/director in your introduction and continually throughout your essay. This helps to ensure you are considering their purpose and its intended effect/message to the audience (see Views and Values for more on this).

(2) This is where I have included the broader implications of the topic – it will be my final paragraph where I somewhat challenge the prompt

In both Ransom and The Queen , leaders that allow themselves to be dictated by their public identities and subsequent rules, protocols and expectations, are portrayed to express difficulty in connecting with their constituents and their own families. In The Queen , Queen Elizabeth finds comfort in placing 'duty first, self second', as in performing in her role as a monarch for many years, she foregrounds such identity over her ability to connect personally with those around her. However, this struggle to formulate intimate connections is conveyed by Frears (3) to, at times, be at her detriment. Upon meeting the Royal Family, Cherie Blair, who symbolises the wider British society (4) , describes that family as 'a bunch of free loading, emotionally retarded nutters'. This blunt description serves to indicate that in acting according to 'how [she] was brought up' and 'all [she’s] ever known', the queen compromises her public image and relatability to her people. In a similar manner, in Ransom , Somax describes only having 'seen King Priam at a distance…he is surprised at how old he looks', clearly illustrating the emotional and physical distance between the king and the people of Troy. Such distance is portrayed by Malouf to not only affect the way the people view their king, but also the manner in which Priam himself is able to formulate and express basic human emotions, as 'royal custom – the habit of averting his gaze', initially prevents him from connecting with Somax on a more intimate level. Through this, both Malouf and Frears highlight how, (5) in allowing themselves to be consumed by their roles as leaders, both Priam and Queen Elizabeth have sacrificed their ability to truly connect and engage with those around them, leaving them out-of-touch with the same people they govern. However, this lack of connection is also shown to extend to their families, as the queen is pictured by Frears to be physically disconnected with her own grandsons. Upon learning of Diana’s death, Prince Charles is depicted delivering the news to his sons, whilst the queen watches on from the corridor, as Frears uses a mid-shot with the door frame obstructing the audience’s view of Queen Elizabeth herself. This can be seen to symbolise (6) the ‘barricade’ between the queen and her own family, as her role as monarch separates her from those she loves. (7) In a similar manner, Priam’s only recollection of the birth of his son is 'recall[ing] a series of small squalling bundles', as his 'role…to hold myself apart in ceremonial stillness' directly prevents him from understanding, and becoming involved with his family, emotionally distancing himself from his own sons. Consequently, Frears and Malouf convey to their audience that the role of being a leader can negatively impact upon one’s relationship with others, serving as a constant burden and barrier to achieving intimate emotional connections.

Annotations (3) In writing ‘conveyed by Frears’ as opposed to ‘conveyed’ I am trying to demonstrate that I am aware the film is a construction made by a director (in this case Frears) for a purpose – he is trying to communicate with the audience through the actions of his characters. See LSG’s Views and Values blog post or How To Write A Killer Text Response (the Views and Values section) for more on this.

(4) In this case, I am attempting to go ‘beyond’ what is simply portrayed in this scene and incorporate the setting of the text – in this case, highlighting my awareness of the time and place in which the film is set (i.e. context ). While aimed at Literature students, this blog on context is helpful as it walks you through some contextual aspects you should consider. 

(5) This is one of the main ways I would link my two ideas in Year 12, and draw ‘mini conclusion’ or a link (think of the TEEL structure ) back to the topic. Yet, in beginning with ‘Malouf and Frears’, I am keeping the purpose of each text central to my link.

(6) When using film techniques , try to analyse their meaning. Rather than simply stating ‘Frears uses a mid-shot’, tell your assessor WHY he does this and what its intended effect is on the audience. This not only acts as a form of ‘textual evidence’ but also demonstrates your understanding of the text itself.

(7) In this sentence, I have tried to draw connections between the physical world and the author’s purpose in portraying the isolation of the British Royal family. Here, I’m referring to the ideas, views and values of the author/director.

On the other hand, however, in revealing one’s private life and expressing humility, leaders are also shown to risk their public authority. In Ransom , Priam becomes determined, following the death of Hector, to try 'something impossible. Something new' and allow for an element of vulnerability to be expressed, in order to successfully ransom his son’s body. Such an unusual, unconventional method of leadership, however, is depicted to take the people of Troy by surprise, as they witness their leader dressed 'in plain white' (8) , stripped of his former royal gown. Therefore, the Trojans, who 'crowd the ramparts of the city' and 'line the walls of Troy' each day, in an attempt to view and 'cheer' their leader, 'do not know how to react' upon viewing Priam in such a common, ignoble state, reconsidering the way in which they regard and respect him. In a similar manner, in The Queen , Tony Blair is a Prime Minister whose ‘unconventional' style of leadership is seen to initially unnerve the Royal family. Upon being elected, Blair is described in a montage scene (9) to be a 'wonderful new Prime Minister…a compassionate young man…such a breath of fresh air', a different style of leader to previous Prime Ministers whom the queen previously worked with. The description of Blair as a 'compassionate young man' is significant as such compassion, combined with his youth, acts as a deterrent for the Royals in showing him respect as a leader, taken aback by his unusual views and values. Consequently, upon the death of Diana, although Blair attempts to advise Queen Elizabeth on behalf of the British People, Prince Phillip declares 'who does he think he’s talking to? You’re the sovereign. The head of state. You don’t get dictated to' clearly symbolising their lack of respect and willingness to consider Blair’s perspectives and ideas. In this way, Frears highlights how, in adopting an unconventional style of leadership, those in power may struggle to gain the respect of others around them, particularly their fellow leaders, with the Queen Mother’s statement of 'silly Mr Blair and his Cheshire cat grin' clearly portraying Tony Blair’s lack of authority within the Royal Family. Whilst, in Ransom , the people of Troy struggle to come to terms with Priam’s own change in his leadership style, wondering 'is the king deserting them?', those in The Queen are seen to accept Blair’s leadership style, evident through his 'landslide victory', as, unlike the people of Troy, they are seen to be open to a more progressive form of leadership. In both texts, however, Frears and Malouf demonstrate that leaders who illustrate an element of vulnerability, such as Priam and Tony Blair, may struggle asserting their authority over those with more traditional standards and views, such as the Trojan people and the Royal Family, and thus sacrifice an element of their public image and reputation.

Annotations (8) This is a brief quote – these are useful to ‘replace’ your own words. It ensures you are remaining relevant in your analysis (aka not going off track!!) and acts as a way to ‘show off’ to your assessors that you know your text. However, as these quotes are so simple, I would rarely go into depth with my analysis of them – save this for your longer quotations.

(9) Although naming the scene as a ‘montage’ isn’t entirely necessary in this case, it shows the assessor that you remember where this scene takes place and gives a bit of context , further achieving that first criterion.

Yet, both David Malouf and Stephen Frears examine the notion that in revealing an element of their private life and making themselves vulnerable, a leader may be able to become more relevant, thereby easing the tension between their public and private personas (10). In The Queen , Queen Elizabeth’s adamant refusal to 'dance to their tune' and abide by the requests of her people leads her to proclaim 'I don’t think I have ever been hated like that', with Frears’ depiction of her crying outside Balmoral evident of her realisation that she needs to adapt to the 'change…shift in values' occurring among her constituents. This private expression of vulnerability by Elizabeth is the catalyst for her change in leadership style, with the setting of Balmoral itself, and subsequent events that take place there, symbolising the ability for leaders to harness an element of their personal lives and use it to adapt and connect with their people. In a similar manner, Priam’s declaration that coming to Achilles 'as a man of sorrow' gives him the 'chance to break free of the obligation of always being the hero' highlights Malouf’s view that, at times, leaders must 'break free' of the overwhelming 'obligation[s]' of their public life in order to achieve their objectives and desires within the private sphere. Priam’s realisation that the 'gods made me…mortal' (11) and subsequent appearance as 'a man of sorrow' allow him to successfully bury the body of his son, as he places his identity as 'a man' at the forefront. Priam’s ability to use his emotion in order to fulfil the desires of both him, as 'a father', and the wider people of Troy in allowing their most esteemed warrior to receive a proper burial, is mirrored in The Queen , where Queen Elizabeth adopts the use of emotion to regain the respect of British society. In returning from Balmoral, the queen directly interacts with the people outside Buckingham Palace, with Frears using a long shot to capture the extremely large numbers that had gathered outside the palace gates to emphasise the scale of public sorrow occurring. The queen’s interaction with her people, combined with her public address 'as a grandmother' (12) , symbolises the way in which she was able to harness her identity both 'as your queen, and as a grandmother' to appeal to her people, gain their respect, and successfully lead them through an unprecedented, tumultuous event, thus easing the strain between her public and private personas. Likewise, Priam’s claim 'that the gods made me a king, but also made me a man' (13) highlights that he too has developed an understanding that in order to lead most successfully, one must express an element of vulnerability and humility, allowing for the people to emotionally connect and relate to those whom they admire. Therefore, both Malouf and Frears highlight that expressing elements of their private lives through their public identities is a method most effective in gaining leaders the respect and admiration they crave, as those they lead are able to find an element of commonality and relatability within such esteemed individuals.

Annotations (10) Here is where I begin to go beyond simply the limitations or ‘obvious’ points made in the prompt and consider its wider implications. One strategy I used to help plan and write these paragraphs in Year 12 was to ask myself ‘Why is this a topic? What is the author/director trying to tell me as a member of the audience?’ It usually helps to closely consider the author’s purpose , thus ensuring you achieve a coherent and comprehensive analysis.

(11) Here, I am using part of the quote in the prompt to serve as evidence and back up my point regarding Priam’s combination of both his public and private identities. See How To Embed Quotes in Your Essay Like a Boss to learn how to seamlessly include quotes in your writing. 

(12) It is here where I have used the quote from the prompt to influence my reasoning and my overall argument.

(13) Now I am moving on to explain the significance of the quote in the prompt.

Ultimately, both The Queen and Ransom explore the various tensions that can occur throughout the public and private lives of leaders, and their need to grapple with and understand such a concept in order to perform their duties most effectively. Whilst being constrained by one’s public persona may create emotional distance between an individual and those around them, in revealing an element of vulnerability, both texts illustrate that leaders risk losing respect and authority within public society. However, Frears and Malouf suggest that despite the difficult balance between one’s public and private lives, in order to lead most effectively, esteemed individuals should not allow each respective realm to create tension and unease, but rather harness elements of both their intimate and public personas in order to create a modern, effective and relatable leadership style (14) .

Annotations (14) My final sentence aims to focus on the ‘bigger picture’. Think of this as your ‘mic drop moment’ – you want to finish your essay with an overall statement that touches upon the author’s expressed or implied point of view. 5 Tips for a Mic-Drop Worth Essay Conclusion will help you nail your conclusion.

Throughout this essay, I have implemented the CONVERGENT and DIVERGENT strategy to help me discuss insightful points of similarity and difference. This is particularly important when it comes to essay writing, because you want to know that you're coming up with unique comparative points (compared to the rest of the Victorian cohort!). I don't discuss this strategy in detail here, but if you're interested, check out How To Write A Killer Comparative .

If you found this helpful and you’d like to dive deeper into this text pairing, see A Killer Comparative Guide: Ransom & The Queen. In this guide you'll learn unique points of comparison, we'll teach you how to think like a 45+ study scorer through advanced discussion on topics like literary and cinematic techniques, and we give you 5 A+ sample essay fully annotated!

Theme vs. Motif vs. Symbol

Themes, motifs and symbols are different kinds of narrative elements - they’re parts of a story that help to shape its overall effect. However, even though they’re words we use all the time in our English studies, it isn’t always easy to tell the difference!

This post will take you through some definitions , give you some examples and show you how you can use them in essays too. Let’s start with the broadest of the three…

What Is a Theme?

A theme is an idea or a subject that an author wants to explore. Themes appear throughout a work, and they’re often abstract ideas rather than concrete images that you can explicitly identify. Themes usually appear in interactions: for example, a parent reuniting with a child might evoke the theme of parenthood or family, an experience of discrimination might evoke the theme of prejudice or racism, a character facing a difficult choice might evoke the theme of morality or conflict, and so on. As you might be able to see, themes can require us to read between the lines because they are usually implied.

What Is a Motif?

A motif is something a bit more specific. Rather than an abstract idea, we’re looking for a concrete object (usually physical items, but also potentially sounds, places, actions, situations or phrases) that returns time and time again throughout a text. This repetition of motifs helps to create structure for a text - it can tether parts of the story to or around a central image. Because motifs are often linked to a theme , they can also serve as a reminder of that theme’s importance. For example, if the central theme was family or parenthood, the author might create a bird’s nest outside a character’s room; as we watch the bird and the chicks grow throughout the text, parallels are also drawn back to the theme.  

What Is a Symbol?

You can think of symbols as motifs minus the repetition . It’s the more default word we use when referring to an object that represents an idea, and unlike a motif, symbols only need to appear once to have an impact. They can simply tell us more about a character or situation in that instant, at that specific time, rather than being a parallel or recurring throughout a text. However, they’re still identified in a similar way to motifs: symbols are also concrete objects and they’re still connected to themes. 

Examples of Themes, Motifs and Symbols

Here are some text-specific examples for a closer look at these terms: 

Check out our Macbeth , Rear Window and The Great Gatsby blog posts for more on these texts. If you’re studying other texts, have a look at our list of text guides in The Ultimate Guide to Text Response .

Identifying and Using Themes

Themes usually come across in interactions , and a possible first step to identifying them is thinking about if an interaction is good or bad, and why. For example:

In Rear Window , one of the neighbours berates everyone else for failing to notice their dog’s death.

This is a bad interaction because:

• a dog dying is never any good
• it tells us that none of these neighbours are looking out for or really care about each other
• someone may have killed the dog

The theme we might identify here is duty. The film might suggest that we have a duty to look out for our neighbours (without sacrificing their privacy) or to do our part to keep the neighbourhood safe from potential criminals.

Another example might be:

In The Great Gatsby , the Sloanes invite Gatsby over for dinner without really meaning it.

• it tells us how nasty the Sloanes are
• Gatsby still seems to be a misfit despite his wealth
• Tom is at best complicit in the Sloanes’ insincerity 

The themes here might be society, wealth and class . This interaction shows us where these characters really stand with regard to these categories or ideas. Because he is ‘new money’, Gatsby cannot understand or fit in with the cruel and disingenuous customs of ‘old money’.

Most interactions in a text will fit into a theme somewhere, somehow - that’s why it’s been included in the story! Try to identify the themes as you go , or maintain lists of interactions and events for different themes. Because themes are so broad, they’re useful for guiding your understanding of a text, particularly as you’re reading it. They also provide a great foundation for essay planning since you can draw on events across the text to explore a certain theme.

Identifying and Using Motifs & Symbols

While themes can generally appear in texts without the author needing to make too much of an effort, motifs and symbols have to be used really consciously . A lot of interactions might just be natural to the plot, but the author has to take extra care to insert a symbol or motif into the story.

To identify either, pay attention to objects that might feel unusual or even unnecessary to the scene at first - from the examples above, Gatsby showing Daisy his shirts might seem like a strange detail to include, but it’s actually an important symbol in that moment. Then, you go into the brainstorming of what the object could represent - in this case, Gatsby’s newfound wealth. Symbols in particular often appear at turning points : the relationship between two characters might take a turn, an important sacrifice might be made or perhaps someone crosses a point of no return - all of these are potential plot points for the author to include symbols. For motifs , look more for repetition . If we’re always coming back to an image or an object, like Daisy’s green light or Lisa Fremont’s dresses, then it’s likely that image or object has significance.

Symbols and motifs can be more subtle than themes, but they will also help to set your essay apart if you find a way to include them. You’d usually include them as a piece of evidence (with or without a quote) and analyse what they tell us about a theme. For example:

‍ On the surface, Gatsby appears to be financially successful. Over several years, he has acquired many material belongings in order to demonstrate his great wealth. For example, Fitzgerald includes a scene featuring Gatsby tossing his many ‘beautiful’ shirts onto Daisy, who sobs as she admires them. This display of wealth represents the superficial natures of both characters, who prize material belongings over the substance of their relationship.

You don’t need a quote that’s too long or overpowering ; just capture the essence of the symbol or motif and focus on what it represents. This is a really good way to show examiners how you’ve thought about a text’s construction, and the choices an author has made on what to include and why. To learn more about text construction, have a read of What Is Metalanguage?

We've explored themes, characters, literary devices and historical context amongst other things over on our Women of Troy by Euripides blog post. If you need a quick refresher or you’re new to studying this text, I highly recommend checking it out as well as our Ultimate Guide to VCE Text Response .

Here, we’ll be breaking down a Women of Troy essay topic using LSG’s THINK and EXECUTE strategy , a technique to help you write better VCE essays. If you’re unfamiliar with this strategy, you can learn about it in our How To Write A Killer Text Response study guide.

Step 1: A nalyse Step 2: B rainstorm Step 3: C reate a Plan

Without further ado, let’s get into it!

The Prompt: ‘“We are loot my son and I, soldiers’ plunder.” Discuss how Euripides highlights the plight of women taken as slaves in war.’ 

Step 1: Analyse

The first thing to note about this prompt is that it is a 'how’ question , it is essentially asking us to identify the literary techniques Euripides has employed in order to ‘highlight’ the women’s ‘plight’. The noun ‘plight’ is defined as a troublesome or unfortunate situation, yet we must consider this word in the context of war. How do the women suffer? In other words, how does Euripides demonstrate to his reader just how dejected the women are as slaves?

It is relatively simple to identify the literary techniques which consistently appear throughout Euripides’ play, such as imagery, metaphor and simile ( not entirely sure what literary techniques are? We have a list of them for you here ). However, keeping in mind we have to form three paragraphs, we should consider Euripides’ authorial voice more broadly. For example, the women consistently lament their disillusionment with the gods. This is not a literary technique in itself, but it is still a literary choice which Euripides has made and which has been deepened with more specific literary devices like metaphor. The same could be said for the women’s struggle for hope, and the contrast between their joyous pasts and dismal futures.

Unlike a ‘to what extent’ question, we do not have to form an argument. Instead, we must forge a discussion of Euripides’ literary decisions as a playwright.

P1: Euripides juxtaposes the triumphant pasts of the Trojan women with their tragic futures. The 'shining citadels of Troy' are now a 'black smokened ruin’.

P2: Euripides illuminates the women’s attempts to retain futile hope. Note that hope also comes in the form of revenge.

P3: The dramatic irony of the play renders the women’s desperate calls upon the gods all the more tragic. Here, we can also make reference to the prologue, and Athene’s ploy to create a storm on the Greeks’ journey home which also ultimately affects the women.

At the heart of the conflict in The Women of Troy , lies the anguished 'suffering' (1) of the Trojan women as they confront their fates as 'slaves', and remember their pasts as wives and mothers. In his tragedy, first performed in Athens circa 415 BCE, Euripides amplifies the conflicted voices of the Trojan women, voices which are by contrast suppressed and disregarded in the Homeric works the Iliad and the Odyssey . Euripides’ stark dichotomy between the glories and 'rituals' of the past, and the sombre 'grief' of the present, elucidate the magnitude of their losses, both material and moral. For as Andromache laments, these women have been objectified as 'loot', mere spoils of war to be abused and exploited. (2) The women’s tendency to clutch onto chimerical (3) hopes and values only serves to further illuminate the profundity of their suffering once these ambitions have been brutally quashed in the 'dust' of their 'smoke blackened ruin' of Troy. Perhaps most significantly, Euripides juxtaposes the lingering though pitiful hope of the women with the gods’ complete 'desert[ion]' of Troy, positioning the women in an ironic chasm of cruel abandonment. Thus, the plight of women as wartime captives is dramatised by Euripides, corralling the audience into an ultimate stance of pity and empathy.

Annotations: (1) It is often useful to embed short/one word quotes in your essay (we teach you how in How To Embed Quotes in Your Essay Like a Boss ). It shows you have a great understanding of the text, and reads fluidly as opposed to overly long quotes.

‍ (2) Here, I have addressed the quote in the prompt in a single sentence, unpacking Euripides’ analogy of Andromache and Astyanax as ‘loot’. By comparing the two characters to war spoils, he is suggesting that they have been stripped of their free will and autonomy.

‍ (3) It is really important to vary your vocabulary in order to increase the sophistication of your essay. The adjective ‘chimerical’ refers to an ideal which is impossible to achieve.  

Euripides’ juxtaposition between the dismal future of the Trojan women and the zenith of their pasts, further illuminates the chasm of their sufferings and losses as the ultimate victims of wartime atrocities. Chiefly, Euripides contrasts Hecuba’s former royal status with the demoralizing fate of her captivity, encapsulating this tragic fall from nobility with the ironic imagery, 'throned in the dust’. Yet perhaps what truly emphasises her plight as a slave is her enduring role as a maternal figure of leadership, encapsulated in her regard of the chorus as '[her] children' and her reciprocated address as 'dear queen' and 'your mother'. Despite the 'death agony' she feels, she chooses to maintain her nobility through the depth of her morality, dramatizing the pitiful nature of her plight (4) . Moreover, Euripides’ juxtaposition between the 'shining citadels of Troy' and the 'misery' of the chorus elucidates the significance of 'home', a source of solace which has been barbarically stripped away from them. Likewise, Andromache laments her past as a dutiful and faithful wife, contrasting her fidelity against her fate as a 'concubine' to the formidable Neoptolemus (5) . Euripides implies that Andromache must abandon her reputation as the 'perfect wife' – the very attribute for which she was chosen especially – doomed to confront a life of sexual slavery, an unwilling mother of Neoptolemus’ children.

Annotations: (4) Here, I have used the word ‘plight’, making sure I am engaging directly with the prompt. It is often easy to fall into the trap of creating a generalised essay which only loosely adheres to the question. 

‍ (5) It is more sophisticated to specify the name of Andromache’s husband (Neoptolemus), rather than to just simply state ‘Andromache’s husband’ (even though he is not featured as a character in Euripides’ play).

Euripides (6) characterises the women by their tendency to clutch on to 'hope[s]' and ideals that are impossible to fulfil. Almost a coping mechanism of sorts, the chorus paradoxically romanticise the Greek landscape in the first episode, lauding the 'sacred halls', 'green fields', 'beautiful river[s]' and 'wealth' of Hellas. Yet, their ardent critiques of their future 'home[s]' rejects any notion that the women truly believe these glorifications of the Greek realm. Similarly, Hecuba is motivated by her futile hope that Astyanax may one day seek vengeance and be 'the savior of Troy' by 'rebuild[ing]' the city. Yet tragically, this doomed hope is violently quashed by Odysseus 'blind panic' and acute lack of rationality: the 'liar' and 'deceiver' who 'lead the Greek council' in their debate. Though this hope initially provides her with some form of solace, all comfort is dashed with the announcement of his 'butchery'. Likewise, Cassandra is motivated by her own pursuit for revenge, lauding her 'sacred marriage' to Agamemnon as an event worthy of 'praise' and 'celebration'. Yet her hope is also jaded, for she must in the process 'flout all religious feeling' as a slave of Agamemnon’s 'lust', until she meets her painful hour of death at Clytemnestra’s hands.

Annotations: (6) Notice that several of the sentences have begun with ‘Euripides characterises’ or ‘Euripides illuminates’, engaging with the ‘how’ part of the prompt. We are showing what the author has done and why.

Ironically, Euripides illuminates the plight of the Trojan women through his dramatic elucidation of the gods’ callous abandonment of the ruined Troy. Euripides juxtaposes the past 'rituals', 'dances', 'songs', 'sacrifices', 'offerings' and 'ceremonies' of the chorus with their bitter laments that 'the gods hate Troy' and that they are ultimately characterised by avarice. They are neither answered not consoled in their ultimate time of mourning, for the audience is aware that Poseidon has fled the scene in the prologue, disillusioned by the 'ceas[ing]' of 'worship', leaving 'nothing (…) worth a god’s consideration' in the fallen city. What is also rendered ironic by Euripides, is Athene’s formidable ploy to 'make the Greeks’ return home a complete disaster.' Regardless of Athene’s true motives for instigating this ultimate pursuit of comeuppance, the fact remains that the women too must endure this perilous journey to Greece. Not only are the despairing wives, mothers and daughters condemned to 'abject slavery' on foreign soil, they are 'innocent: victims who may – alongside the Greeks – find themselves on the shores of Euboea, among the 'float[ing] (…) corpses' of the Greek soldiers. They are not simply abandoned by the gods, they are, directly or indirectly, punished. (7)

Annotations: (7) This is a more original point which other students may not automatically think of. We often view Athene’s ‘ploy’ as a deserved punishment of the ‘murderous’ Greeks, yet there is no true justice, for the women too are ultimately affected.

In a play which serves to fill the silence of the Trojan women in the legendary works of the Iliad and the Odyssey (8) , Euripides augments the pitiful plight of the Trojan women with agonizing references to past 'happiness', and equally unbearable forecasts of their roles as 'slaves' of Greek lust. They are indeed 'loot' and they are indeed 'plunder' – as Andromache so bitterly laments – yet their plight is recorded in the works of 'poets' to come, remembered as a legacy of stoicism 'a hundred generations hence.' Taken as our 'great theme', these women are 'sufferer[s]', yet they are also heroes.

Annotations: (8) Just as I have done in the introduction, I have referred to the context of the play in the conclusion. The Iliad and the Odyssey provided the framework for Euripides’ play, so by referencing Homer’s works we are showing the examiner that we have an understanding of the historical context. 

If you'd like to dive deeper into Women of Troy, check out our A Killer Text Guide: Women of Troy study guide. In it, we teach you how to how to think like a 50 study scorer through advanced discussions on topics such as views and values and metalanguage, we provide you with 5 A+ sample essays that are fully annotated and everything is broken down into easy-to-understand concepts so that students of all levels can understand and apply what we teach!!

Hey everyone! This is Part 2 in a series of videos I will release on VCE Study Guides. The content goes through the sample VCAA Chickens Range Free article which you can find  here . Feel free to analyse it yourself, then check out how I’ve analysed the article!

I’m super excited to share with you my  first  ever online tutorial course for VCE English/EAL students on  How to achieve A+ for Language Analysis !!!

I created this course for a few reasons:

Language Analysis is often the  key weakness  for VCE English/EAL students, after my workshops, students always wish we had spent  even   more  time on Language Analysis, many of you have come to me seeking private tuition however since I am fully booked out, I wanted to still offer you a chance to gain access to my ‘breakthrough’ method of tutoring Language Analysis,I am absolutely confident in my  unique  and  straightforward  way of teaching Language Analysis which has lead to my students securing exceptional A graded SAC and exam scores!

Are you a student who:

struggles to identify language techniques?

finds it difficult to identify which tones are adopted in articles?

has no idea explaining  HOW  the author persuades?

finds it difficult to structure your language analysis essay?

becomes even more unsure when comparing 2 or 3 articles?

feels like your teacher at school never explained language analysis properly?

prefers learning when it’s enjoyable and easy to understand?

wants to stand out from other students across the cohort?

wants to know the secrets of 45+ English high achievers?

wants to know what examiners are looking for?

sees room for improvement whether you’re an average student or a pro?

wants to get a head start and maximise your potential in VCE?

This is what you will accomplish by the end of the course:

Be able to successfully identify language techniques in articles and images

Be able to successfully identify tones adopted in articles and images

Be able to analyse a single article or image

Be able to analyse 2 or more articles and/or images

Be able to apply your new skills coherently and clearly in essay writing

You will be able to accurately describe HOW an author uses language to persuade

You will be able to plan and write a language analysis essay structure (single article/image)

You will be able to plan and write a language analysis essay structure (2 or more articles/images)

You will understand common pitfalls and how to avoid these in language analysis

Be confident when approaching your SACs and exam

Know exactly what examiners are looking for and how to ‘WOW’ them

Know how to distinguish yourself from other students

Have unlimited help in course forum from myself and other VCE students

You will become a better VCE English language analysis student!

To find out more, you can check out the full details of the course   here !

See you in the course!

Don't forget to also check out Our Ultimate Guide to Oral Presentations for everything you need to know for Oral Presentations.

List of topics

1. ‘implementing a sugar tax to curb australian obesity.’.

Premise: Mexico and UK have already implemented the ‘Sugar Tax’ on soft drinks to prevent obesity through the avenue of consumer choices, with this debate being sparked in Canada and Australia as to whether this is a viable solution. The World Health Organization believes this could reduce consumption of sugar by reinvesting the more expensive prices into health initiatives against ‘Childhood Obesity’. The Federal Government is facing this decision in 2019, to introduce these radical changes. Thus, whether or not the sugar tax should be implemented would be the core of your oral.

Basis of the tax

Young stakeholders ‍

Expert opinions, use this for further reading ‍

Mexico comparison, who have done this

British conversation, opposing views on sugar tax ‍

2 . ‘What can Australia do to reduce the dangers of paramedic assault and overtime?’

‍ Premise: Lately in the media, paramedic attacks and unreasonable overtime shifts means that the safety of our ambulance staff is compromised. A series of movements and a necessity for awareness has been sparked in Australia, with one paramedic being assaulted every 50 hours, and 147 assaulted in 2018. Whether or not people choose to support ambulance safety on a political front, social front or preemptive front (see Ambulance Victoria’s ‘Help keep our ambos safe at work’), action has been gaining momentum in contemporary news and campaigns. Is Australia doing enough for paramedic safety? This would be the basis of your oral.

‍ Ambulance Victoria’s campaign

Paramedics’ Union urging Political Parties in 2019

Other factors, overtime shifts

Further reading on specific cases of paramedic violence ‍

3 . ‘How are our politicians dealing with events of Melbourne CBD terrorism ?’

Premise: A series of concentrated terrorist attacks on Melbourne’s Bourke Street and around Melbourne’s CBD has led to preventative measures such as 88 concrete blocks and anti-terror speaker systems. With politicians such as Matthew Guy pushing movements such as suspects facing curfews and counselling and drones around the city being put in place to monitor events like Christmas Day and New Years, this issue is being noted. But is enough being done? How effective are these measures, and are the police and government working closely enough to avoid these situations? This would be the basis of your oral.

Victoria Police’s response to terrorism

Bourke Street incidents

Links to other attacks and opinion article ‍

Political movements from Matthew Guy ‍

Anti-terror measures

4 . ‘Are loot boxes just gaming, or gambling?’

Premise: The question of whether loot boxes being utilised in video games marketed to underage children are in fact exposing them to gambling is currently being debated at a Senate level in Australia and around the world. Whilst opinions are segregated on whether this is harmless or harmful, statistics and experts seem to believe in Europe that the detriment is too high, with 15 gambling regulators pinning game developers and publishers. Similarly, the UK and especially Australia have been making movements to rid the gaming industry of this practice. However, ‘EA Games’ is a big player against this, thriving of their sales in games such as ‘FIFA Coins’ and ‘Star Wars: Battlefront’. Thus, whether it is just gambling or gaming would form this oral.

The Senate Inquiry on loot boxes ‍

Are loot boxes gambling? ‍

Expert Opinions ‍

Age restrictions with gambling v. gaming ‍

Global statistics/reasons against

5 . ‘ Anti-vaccination movements within Australia.’

Premise: The anti- vaccination movement, concentrated in the beachside town of Byron Bay in Australia is claiming more young lives daily, as medical reports are starting to note a greater toll in whooping cough cases and other vaccination related diseases. With campaigns such as the ‘No Jab, No Play’ initiative and other experts stating the way vaccinations are being handled, the situation is not apt in the current necessity for herd immunity amongst young Australians. Whether or not vaccination should be more heavily emphasised would be explored in this oral.

Geographic case study for vaccinations

Implications and health issues

No jab, no play campaign

Case studies

For vaccination

6 . ‘The competition of Uber, Taxis and other ride sharing services.’

Premise: The hyper competitive nature of ride-sharing services and transport on the Australian field means that Uber and taxis have a lot more competition with one another, meaning shared business can affect the others customers in a major way. Hence, the Australian approach of lawsuits and the pickup of other services such as Shebah, Gocatch and Ola, means that drivers are facing harder times finding customers and also maintaining a steady stream of income. Whether or not these competing companies escalate the quality of transport or are too detrimental to driver’s livelihood would be explored in this oral.

The premise ‍

Taxi share zones, official action/recognition ‍

The legal aspects ‍

For the competitive nature

Other platforms that affect this ‍

7. ‘The drought impact on Australian farmers.’ ‍

Premise: Communities within Australia, specifically in Queensland, prepare themselves for overwhelming drought this 2019, with as their profits will most probably drop below $13,000 in this next financial year for farmers. Whilst milk companies and other politicians have attempted to rally with farmers, more attention seemingly may have to be put in place to assure the livelihood of these agricultural practitioners. Hence, even with drought relief practices and campaigns with many stakeholders in the government and as owners of business, it may require more of a push on a formal level in these pivotal years for farmers. The necessary movements and activism for greater support of farmers would be explored in this oral. ‍

The lack of support for drought ‍

What the implications of drought are ‍

Campaigns and movements already in place ‍

Stakeholders and the issues amongst them ‍

The up and coming concerns for drought in 2019 ‍

8. ‘ Microplastics in the Ocean.’ ‍

Premise: The rise in plastic consumption on a global scale and also lack of environmental solutions has led sea turtle’s digestive tracts and parts of the deepest oceans to be littered with seemingly minute particles called ‘microplastics’. However, these particles have detrimental effects and often litter foods, water sources and our ecosystem, usually sinking to the bottom of the ocean, with 99% of the plastic the seas contain building on the bottom. Ultimately, how we deal with these microplastics and whether it is important would be illustrated in this oral.

Marianas Trench plastics ‍

Contamination in foods ‍

Actions against microplastics ‍

The basics of microplastics ‍

Expert opinions 9. ‘ Indigenous ‘Close the Gap’ Campaign’. ‍

Premise: The ‘Close the Gap’ campaign originally focused on integrating the Indigenous people back into modernized society that excluded them wrongly. Objectives were necessary to fulfill educational reforms, social necessities and the favour within employment that needed to be shown in order to “even the playing field”. Over the years, this has been scrutinised and subjected to downfalls, both political and social, with many of these objectives not achieved. Thus, greater attention or movement may have to be incited. Hence, whether enough is being done or more needs to be provoked would inspire this oral. ‍

Scott Morrison on the current ‘Closing the Gap’ measures

Discussion of the origins of this movement

Stakeholders in parliament, Indigenous rights

A review of the campaign and its downfalls

The new closing the gap campaign and its implications

10 . ‘Can we use genetically modified foods in daily life?’

Premise: The discussion of GMOs (genetically modified foods) and their ethical, moral and health implications have segregated both consumers and producers alike. Australia’s viewpoint of the scientific practice in modifying foods has been portrayed in the recent elongation to bans in South Australia until 2025, but has also been challenged with groundbreaking research that could double the crop yield in theory, due to the advances in photosynthetic characteristics and other chemical properties of plants. Thus, whether or not they should be refuted or supported would form the basis of this oral.

The science behind GM foods

Other global players accepting GM crops

Advances and what this means for farmers

Photosynthesis/scientific endeavours in the field of GM crops

The bans in South Australia, and the dangers

11 . ‘The wage gap : Women in STEM.’

Premise: It is rare to find a career where the exact same work will be paid differently based on sexuality, race or gender. It seems in the contemporary age the real issue is that cultural norms raise more women lawyers, doctors and teachers than engineers, physicists and STEM workers. Rather than a direct percentage of the pay gap, it is made apparent that it is rather a systematic average of less over time because of the careers being chosen. Whether or not the wage gap is due to STEM and what we can do to prevent this would be the formation of your oral.

What is the gender pay gap?

Statistics and figures

Australian specific pay gap

Against the gender pay gap

12. ‘Should we take on Finland’s education system ?’

Premise: Standardised testing is often a debate that goes without alternatives that truly work. But the core of Finland’s number 1 education system in the world is that they hire so many good teachers, hence independent learning is monitored and possible. The VCE system and IB curriculum does not streamline because students are so pressured they do not take time to explore and ultimately find what they want to do in tertiary. In Finland, it is less about the competition, and more about individual learning up until university so that they excel in different pathways. What would it take to change Australian systems to model this? This would be a key idea within your oral.

Australian education reform

Study assist packages being released

Universities involved, education opportunities amongst

Finland school system comparison

The National qualifications bureau

13 . ‘Should we change Australia day? ’

Premise: This is a heavily utilised oral topic. The Australia Day debate is a popular one, and this is because it is rich in cultural, social, ethical and political stances within itself. With the date remaining the same in 2019, and with the fireworks of the Perth council still going ahead, more protests and council movement means that these discussions are still very contemporary and readily available online. The bids and failed attempts to change the day to a Reconciliation Week celebration, or any date but ‘Invasion Day’ all form evidence to back up either side. Hence, the question of whether or not the date should be moved would be the primary focus of this oral.

‘For’ changing Australia Day in its entirety The council players in changing the date Bids/failed attempts to change the date The council’s on movements and government reflection on history

14 . ‘Is the National Broadband Network , working?’

Premise: The National Broadband Network policy meant that the telecommunications sector was supposed to gain momentum and strengthen itself, however, downfalls of the technicians and rollout of the service have meant public scrutiny and Government blame being laid. Telstra’s work on this with ping and download speeds being effective, but upload speeds suffering means that Australian consumers are not completely satisfied with the service, putting into question the ultimate effectiveness of NBN as an invested infrastructure. The success of NBN would form the base of this oral.

New rollouts geographically

New government policies

The effectiveness of NBN

Does it work as promised?

Downfalls of NBN

15. ‘ Teaching standards for undergraduates in Australia.'

Premise: The teaching standards of Australia have been heavily scrutinised after certain lower ATAR scores were primarily accepted into the fields. Thus, the question of whether the right teachers are being accepted and their skills are being honed is put into the spotlight, as a lower bar for the academic necessity of the career sparks debate on whether the standards for Australian education has fallen. However, with 2 teachers in the Global Top 50 for the education sector means there is still hope, and with lots of regional areas geographically, it can be difficult- So whether or not Australia is doing enough would form this oral.

ATARs and their own role in teachers

The skills necessary for teachers

A lower bar for academics means a lower bar for teachers

The consequences for teachers in regional areas

Australian teacher’s success stories

16. ‘Is the cost of living rising too high in Australia?’

Premise: The cost of living within Australia is inevitably rising, with a spike of homelessness within Sydney and the common retiree locations being in Asian countries forming the basis of whether or not we should start working on this sector of Australia’s wealth. However, some sources argue that our economy is steady and positive, with the perspective gained on this challenging what 2019 seems to hold for the cost of living. It is a contemporary topic as the next generation will have to face these challenges, proving an interesting oral if you focus on the stakeholders in each category (teenagers, workers, government and retirees).

The rising homelessness rates

Key area in the study of rising prices

The perspective of the greater economy in comparison to the cost of living

The meaning for retirees and where they have to go

The changes in 2019 to the cost of living

17 . ‘Are we doing enough to aid beekeepers in Australia?’

Premise: The ‘Save the Bees’ campaign begun as we started to realise the necessity and imminent danger we would face if bees were in harm's way. Recently, South Australia faced some strange occurrences with mysterious bee deaths, and younger stakeholders attempting to grasp Australia’s bee population. National Geographic focused on real steps and actions that could be taken within Australia, with measures that could potentially be put in place in order to protect these bees. Hence, this could be a unique oral if presented with the statistics and urgency of this issue.

Young stakeholders trying to save the bees

The implication of bees dying

Bees dying in South Australia

The plan to save Australia’s bees

Other measures in place that may affect bees

18. ‘The impact of the strawberry needle scare. ’

Premise: The Strawberry Needle Scare was a 2018 issue, with 2019 implications in the dangers of food tampering, and a case of needles in grapes at a Melbourne store. Moreover, the implications for farmers and the agricultural community meant that many workers were affected by this, as consumers initially feared the worst, affecting Australian livelihood at its core. Thus, in order to do a contemporary oral on this, you would focus primarily on the impact on the farmers, what future fears could arise, (eg. the grape needle scare), and what consumers need to be aware of in future contamination.

The grape scare, new to 2019

The Western Australian side of the strawberry scare

Food tampering in history, where this fits

The effects on farmer that the needle scare has

The movement for farmers from consumers to just ‘cut them up’

19. ‘The epidemic of anxiety. ’

Premise: In a digital, gratification-desiring age, anxiety and depression are symptoms of the high pressure scenarios within daily life. Recently, new studies proving the dire nature within Australia’s mental health provoked more attention by experts and the population into methods and the ‘epidemic’ we face, as we continue to head down a dark spiral. With case studies, statistics and the current situation within pressurised work situations, this could form a strong oral.

The need for instant gratification

The effects of employment on mental health

Australian statistics on worry and anxiety

The Kids helpline and a case study

More statistics/stakeholders in the debate

20 . ‘Is the zero road toll possible?’

Premise: The concept of the ‘Towards Zero’ campaign is that we would have no deaths on the roads in short. This takes drink driving measures, the hazardous first months of a probationary driver and the zones in which these accidents are most highly occurring into consideration, as the government, younger drivers, and adult drink drivers are all concerned. There are already worrying trends going into 2019 however, as this forms the basis of some concerning patterns, and could be explored either way in an oral of whether or not the ‘zero road toll’ is truly possible.

The action plan, released by TAC branch

The implications of striving for the road 0 toll

What is already in place, is there grounds to this?

Trends and why it may not be possible

The official campaign

The following is an excerpt from our study guide, I am Malala and Pride , available for purchase here .

Plot overview

I Am Malala by Malala Yousafzai is a memoir of the eponymous Pakistani schoolgirl and activist. Yousafzai grows up in Pakistan’s Swat Valley with parents who were unconditionally supportive of her education. However, Pakistan is strongly under the control of the Taliban, an extremist group who opposes education for girls. On the other hand, Yousafzai’s family practice Islam in a peaceful and egalitarian manner.

Tracing how decades of global, geopolitical movements have produced these conditions, Yousafzai recounts the rise of the Taliban and her increasingly dangerous journey to school each day. The geopolitical histories trace back decades to the military rule of General Zia in the 1980s. Since then, turbulent domestic politics combined with a volatile, ever-evolving relationship with America (which, importantly, is partly America’s fault) has allowed the Taliban to rise to power. The post-9/11 period and the ‘War on Terror’ are important milestones here, since these are the years in which Yousafzai grows up. 

As the Taliban continue to deny women and girls their freedoms, Yousafzai becomes an outspoken activist, made all the more prominent by the BBC and the New York Times. Because of her fame, nationally and internationally, she becomes a target and is shot in the head by Taliban gunmen when she is just 15. The memoir starts here in its prologue, before going back in time to catch us up. Indeed, Yousafzai is now well-known everywhere for this incident. 

The remainder of the book traces her recovery, and reaffirms her commitment to fighting for girls’ education. Even though she now lives in Birmingham, England, she has persevered through many setbacks to keep up the good fight - now on a uniquely far-reaching international platform. 

Pride , directed by Matthew Warchus, is a film exploring the 1984-85 miners’ strike in Britain. In particular, it explored how an unlikely ally, the Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners (LGSM) organisation, was able to provide solidarity and support despite their differences. 

At the time, many members of London’s LGBT community had difficult coming out experiences, made all the more difficult by stigma and dominating views of masculinity - they perceived miners in their hometowns as part of that problem. However, activist Mark Ashton saw an opportunity to help a group in need, and a group that was experiencing similar political pressures as themselves, particularly at the hands of Conservative Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. 

While the National Union of Mineworkers is initially reluctant to take LGSM’s money, Mark is able to connect directly with Dai Donovan, who represents miners from the Welsh village Onllwyn. Over time, LSGM is able to build relationships with locals, who gradually warm to their presence as well. Solidarity - the idea that anybody’s fight against injustice is everybody’s fight against injustice - is an important part of what makes this partnership tick. Their campaign culminates in the Pits and Perverts concert, which raises thousands of pounds. 

The ending is a bittersweet one though - the mineworkers’ union finds this too controversial, rejects further support and ultimately loses the strike, while the queer activists return to their own struggles with identity and belonging. However, the campaign forged lasting bonds between these activists and miners, who show up in their own display of solidarity at the next year’s Pride March. 

Themes, Ideas, and Key Messages 

At LSG, we use the CONVERGENT and DIVERGENT strategy to help us easily find points of similarity and difference. This is particularly important when it comes to essay writing, because you want to know that you're coming up with unique comparative points (compared to the rest of the Victorian cohort!). I don't discuss this strategy in detail here, but if you're interested, check out my How To Write A Killer Comparative . I use this strategy throughout my discussion of themes above and in the next section, Essay Topic Breakdown.

Similarities (CONVERGENT Ideas)

Identity and Perspective : Before even considering the activism that is featured in each text, it’s worth unpacking the individual identities of the main characters, and the complexities that come with them. Both texts see characters juggle and negotiate tensions within their identity - in particular, other people who share the identity don’t always see eye to eye with them. In I Am Malala , Yousafzai often finds herself at odds with other practitioners of Islam, especially the more extreme Taliban who would oppose her belief in girls’ education. Likewise, queer activists in Pride ’s LGSM draw incredulity from their peers, who bristle at the idea of supporting the mineworkers. However, not only are these characters able to overcome these tensions, but their personal identities give them a perspective that feeds back into their activism - they actually draw on their identity in their fight for justice. Yousafzai acknowledges that Muslims “don’t [all] agree” (Chapter 7), but she firmly believes that “education for females not just males is one of our Islamic rights” (Chapter 23). Her fight is informed by, rather than separate from, her faith. In the film, personal identity also acts as a springboard for activism. For example, the collaborative and highly successful Pits and Perverts fundraiser came about as a result of the “long and honourable tradition in the gay community [of] when somebody calls you a name…you take it and you own it”. Queerness is mobilised to fundraise for the miners, rather than silenced or excluded as others might have it. 

Injustice and Activism : As we explored in the context sections (and as we’ve been exploring throughout), a fight for justice is fundamentally at the heart of both texts. In the film and the memoir alike, we see conservative agendas disempowering certain groups. Yousafzai recounts how pre-existing sexism in Pakistan, where girls found “no point in going to school just to end up cooking, cleaning and bringing up children” (Chapter 3), was exacerbated by the Taliban who closed schools altogether. They would even vandalise and destroy schools - “by the end of 2008, around 400 schools had been destroyed” (Chapter 11). Yousafzai’s fight is really about equality and human rights. The miners and LGSM are fighting their own injustices and inequalities in the film - Prime Minister Thatcher had been closing down mines and stripping miners of their livelihoods. Not only that, but she’d used pretty brutal tactics, calling in the police and withholding income support for newly-unemployed miners who struggled to feed their families through the winter. 

Women’s Education : This isn't the principal fight in Pride , but there are moments where it definitely shines through. In particular, we first meet Sian as a young housewife, but by the end of the film Jonathan had encouraged her to return to school, and we know that she goes onto become the first female MP of her district. Through the strike, she discovered her own passion for trade unionism, and education hugely empowered her to take that passion further. This is particularly important given how much the strike affects men and women alike - consider the significance of ‘Bread and Roses’. In the memoir, the importance of women’s education is a much more central element. As Yousafzai points out, “going to school wasn’t just a way of passing time, it was our future” (Chapter 11). In both texts, education helps people (and women in particular) forge relationships and futures for themselves, and for one another. 

Differences (DIVERGENT Ideas)

Now it's your turn! Here are some questions to get you thinking about the differences between the two texts:

• Activism: what forms of activism are there? how effective can activism be? how are these ideas portrayed in the two texts?
• Solidarity: what does solidarity mean? what are the ways in which people can show solidarity? how are these ideas portrayed in the two texts?

Essay Topic Breakdown

Whenever you get a new essay topic, you can use LSG’s THINK and EXECUTE strategy , a technique to help you write better VCE essays. This essay topic breakdown will focus on the THINK part of the strategy. If you’re unfamiliar with this strategy, then check it out in How To Write A Killer Text Response . 

Theme-Based Prompt: Compare how the two texts explore injustice.

This is a theme-based prompt. Both texts have a pretty clear focus on this idea of ‘injustice’, so it’s an important theme to have thought about beforehand. This prompt is quite broad, so you could potentially include a wide range of thoughts and opinions about injustice—you might want to consider angles like who is affected, what its impacts are and what actions can reasonably be taken against it. Also because of how broad this prompt is, try to find answers to these questions from within the texts, but phrase them in a way that doesn’t necessarily refer to a text. This will help you keep your ideas flexible for both texts when the time comes to write. 

I think those angles are a reasonable starting point for brainstorming. In the memoir, Yousafzai and her peers—Pakistani schoolgirls—are the most affected, while the injustices portrayed in the film affect coal miners and the LGBTQ+ community. All of these groups are disempowered and disenfranchised by injustice, and this is an important impact. Note that this is something you can say about both texts, which is exactly how we were trying to phrase our answers.

In terms of taking action against injustice, there’s a wide range of measures across the texts—speaking out, writing for news outlets, organising large-scale fundraisers etc.—and the key takeaway from that might be how diverse these measures are, the different outcomes they generate and whether or not they’re effective. 

Step 3: Create a plan

Because this theme has a lot of rich overlaps between texts, it’s best to integrate discussion of both texts into every paragraph. When we do this for a theme-based prompt, especially a prompt with just one theme, that means every paragraph uncovers a new angle or dimension from both texts about the theme. Learn more about Integrated Text Discussion in How To Write A Killer Comparative .

P1: Injustice is framed as limiting people’s power—we can look at marginalised groups in both texts, from the schoolgirls of Yousafzai’s Pakistan, or the miners and the queer folk from the film.

P2: It’s also something that must be fought. Because it has such a detrimental impact, there is a need for those groups to stand up for themselves and for each other. 

P3: In so doing, injustice may take time to overcome, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t fight it. Not all activism can be instantly, wildly successful—partial successes along the way are usually more frequent.

Our contention will try to string those three ideas together: injustice in any society involves some experiencing marginalisation and powerlessness that others do not experience (P1), and it is something that must be fought (P2), even if this is a time-consuming process (P3). Have a go at writing your own essay now if you’d like, or read a free preview of our I am Malala and Pride study guide below!

A Killer Comparative Guide: I am Malala and Pride

How to Write a Killer Comparative Ebook

The Ultimate Guide to VCE Comparative

A Guide to Structuring a Reading and Comparing Essay

Reading and Comparing Essays

‍ How to get A+ in Reading and Comparing

Compare the Pair: A guide to Structuring a Reading and Comparing essay

Introduction and Key Themes of Reckoning and The Namesake

Families. Love them or hate them, everybody has a family in some shape or form.

Lahiri’s novel The Namesake and Szubanski’s memoir Reckoning both explore just how complex family dynamics can be. In particular, both texts take an intergenerational approach, which means that they look at how children might struggle to understand their parents’ psyches, and vice versa. They also look at how these struggles can play out into adulthood and throughout the course of one’s life in complicated and poignant ways.

And of course, it gets trickier from there: Lahiri and Szubanski tell the stories of families, yes, but they also tell stories of migration, trauma, and heritage. In both texts, these ideas colour the experiences of the central families and are thus just as crucial for our analysis. Let’s go over the key characters of each text first, before having a closer look at how they compare on each of these themes. In particular, we’ll be going through snapshots of scenes from both texts and comparing what they have to say about these themes.

Characters in Reckoning and The Namesake

The namesake.

Lahiri’s novel revolves around the fictional Ganguli family: Ashima and Ashoke have two children, Sonia and Gogol, the latter of whom is the protagonist. The novel spans over three decades, starting from Gogol’s birth shortly after Ashima and Ashoke’s move to America. By the time it finishes, both Gogol and his younger sister have grown up, and Ashoke has passed away. Thus, this story traces the development of this fictional family over time, illustrating how their relationships with one another change over time.

Szubanski’s memoir, on the other hand, is largely about her own family, including her Scottish mother Margaret and her Polish father Zbigniew. In particular, Reckoning is a family history of her dad’s side, who were living in Poland when the Nazis invaded in 1939. There is some exposition of his family, including his parents Jadwiga and Mieczyslaw, his sister Danuta, and her family as well.

Zbigniew would eventually fight as an assassin the Polish resistance, and Reckoning reflects on how that impacted and shaped his relationship with Magda. The memoir is described to be “as much a biography of her father as it is about her.”

In the process, we learn about his migration, moving to Scotland after the war (where he met Margaret), then to England, then to Australia, with Magda their youngest child aged 5. The memoir covers her life from there onwards, including a journey back to Europe to reconnect with the rest of her family.

Themes in Reckoning and The Namesake

At LSG, we use the CONVERGENT and DIVERGENT strategy to help us easily find points of similarity and difference. This is particularly important when it comes to essay writing, because you want to know that you're coming up with unique comparative points (compared to the rest of the Victorian cohort!). I don't discuss this strategy in detail here, but if you're interested, check out my How To Write A Killer Comparative ebook. I use this strategy throughout my discussion of themes below and techniques in the next section.

Family in Reckoning and The Namesake

Evidently, this theme largely underpins the stories of both texts. In particular, The Namesake and Reckoning both show that relationships between family members—whether that be parents, children or siblings—can be really complicated.

Let’s start with The Namesake . Motifs of parenthood and marriage are evident front and centre right from the novel’s get go, as a pregnant Ashima reflects on her life as it stands in 1968. When Gogol is born, his parents’ love for him is also evident: “Ashoke has never seen a more perfect thing.” At the same time, while Ashima is starting to see “pieces of her family in [Gogol’s] face,” her own grandmother is passing away—it’s thus important to remember that parenthood runs both ways (this’ll be important for both texts).

In any case, Ashima struggles with the first few years of parenthood - despite settling into a schedule, she finds herself “despondent” when Gogol begins nursery school. However, she grows accustomed to it in time, making “forays out of the apartment” and settling into some semblance of a routine to keep herself somewhat occupied.

Parenthood isn’t really shown to get any easier though—at his 14th birthday, we see a somewhat awkward exchange between Ashoke and Gogol, now “nearly as tall” as his father. What Ashoke thinks is a nice gift actually sets off a decades-long identity crisis for Gogol regarding his name: “from the little that he knows about Russian writers, it dismays him that his parents chose the weirdest namesake.”

This scene demonstrates how there can be miscommunications between parents and children that make it difficult for them to understand each other. Without explaining his name to his son, Gogol and Ashoke are unable to truly connect; Gogol is annoyed if anything, answering his father “a bit impatiently”. Parents and children may want to understand each other better, but this is evidently not always possible. The consequences of this can often span over years, with Gogol changing his name to Nikhil and training himself to “ignore his parents, to tune out their concerns and pleas” once he goes to college.

Still, familial love perseveres over time, though it sometimes shifts and changes along the way. With Gogol and Sonia both grown up, Ashima reflects on the separate lives they now lead, noting that she “must be willing to accept” her “children’s independence”, and her son’s partner Maxine despite her misgivings. Culture also plays a role here, which we will explore more in the next section. However, what is evoked in this passage (near the start of chapter 7) is that parents have their child’s best interests in mind. Indeed, similar themes flow through both texts.

That said, familial love can be harder to see in Reckoning —in particular, Magda’s father is characterised throughout the memoir as emotionally distant to the point of cruelty. When she first learns of the Holocaust, she finds Zbigniew’s “lack of feeling…monstrous.” She doesn’t understand how he can be so detached from the war having lived “right in the centre of it.” She also doesn’t understand why he yearns more than anything to escape that period of his life.

The texts are similar in that both of them illustrate how parents and children often struggle with barriers in communication despite their love for each other. In particular, children may not always understand their parents’ experiences from before they were born, or how those experiences affect them in the present.

It’s not all bad though—love perseveres, and sometimes parents can surprise you. When Magda finally comes out to her parents, their response is generally quite receptive, and her father is perhaps uncharacteristically touching in this scene: “Whatever his misgivings were he didn’t dwell on them and he never let the come between us. As I was about to leave they both put their arms around me. ‘We love you,’ they said.”

Trauma in Reckoning and The Namesake

Additionally, both texts deal with parent-child relationships that are affected by experiences of trauma that parents attempt to suppress.

In The Namesake , it’s largely Ashoke’s brush with death that jars his world view, to the point where he names Gogol after the author whose book saved his life after his accident. However, because he doesn’t process his trauma or tell Gogol the story, it leads to a gap in understanding that compromises some elements of their relationship.

These themes are more strongly present in Reckoning , where Zbigniew’s experiences in the war shape many of his opinions and attitudes, as well as his approach to parenting. Tennis, for example, becomes a vehicle for him to teach Magda about winning and losing, “never once let[ting Magda] win.” They have a similarly clinical experience with hunting, where Zbigniew “los[es] patience” with Magda for mourning the death of a rabbit.

Correctly, though retrospectively, Magda hypothesises that this came from a need to “prove himself” after the war ended, and to “discharge the pent-up killer energy inside him.” Even though she would only understand this in time, it didn’t change how her father’s trauma shaped her childhood in ways that she couldn’t have understood at the time.

Reckoning also shows that trauma can be intergenerational, or as Magda puts it “passed on genetically.” She discovers that her maternal grandfather Luke lived through the Irish famine, and watched ten of his siblings die of poverty, causing her to wonder about the “gift of [her] Irish inheritance” that was left on her psyche.

What’s worth remembering here is that it isn’t just the fathers who bury traumatic events from their past (surprising, I know). When Magda’s mother slaps her for the first time, it is because Magda repeats one of her own deepest regrets, soiling a dress made to visit their respective fathers in hospital: “I understand now, of course, that it was herself she was slapping.”

So, while it is true in both texts that traumatic memories impact how parents relate to their children, Reckoning is a deeper and broader exploration of intergenerational trauma. In particular, Magda not only looks at her relationship with her parents, but also her parents’ relationship with theirs.

Migration & Heritage in Reckoning and The Namesake

This is the final piece of the puzzle in terms of major themes and how they fit together. With how characters relate to culture and heritage, we also see both texts evince some rich, intergenerational differences.

In The Namesake , there’s a marked cultural schism between Gogol and his parents. Gogol is desperate to escape his ethnicity, and his status as a second-generation migrant means he is well-assimilated into American culture—he wears his shoes in the house, addresses his parents in English, and dresses like an American. He is also comfortable dating American people, feeling “effortlessly incorporated” into Maxine’s family and daily life. On the other hand, Ashima is demonstrated to struggle more with the move, describing it as a “lifelong pregnancy”, a burden that people treat with “pity and respect.” There are ties to other themes here as well—for example Ashima’s homesickness is sharpened by the fact that she is separated from her family, in particular her parents. It also means that she becomes a part of the life from which Gogol is so desperate to escape.

In Reckoning however, this generational gap is reversed. It is Zbignew who yearns to escape his home culture, while Magda desperately wishes to understand her father: “while I was racing backwards towards my Polishness, my father was rushing in the other direction, assimilating at a rate of knots.” Though this is reversed, there are still ties into other themes: intergenerational misunderstandings for instance are perpetuated by their differing stances on migration. Trauma is also relevant, as Zbigniew is trying to escape it, while Magda is simply working towards understanding her father.

Put this way, we can understand how familial relationships can be complicated by migration, trauma, and the different attitudes it can engender.

Reckoning and The Namesake are two texts that explore many similar themes—family, migration, trauma, heritage, identity—over the span of decades. I would probably argue that family is the central theme that grounds many of the others; it shapes the identity of children—migrant children—and brings out traumatic memories in spite of your best efforts to suppress them.

Hopefully, this gives you a good overview of the themes across these two texts, how they fit together, and how they are similar or different. Don’t forget that themes can overlap and intersect, as is often the case here.

Reckoning and The Namesake Essay Prompt Breakdown

The topic draws on two quotes:

“But in the meantime I had been given a great gift—my parents’ unconditional love.” ( Reckoning )

“‘Don’t worry,’ his father says. ‘To me and your mother you will never be anyone but Gogol.’” ( The Namesake )

And the prompt itself is:

Compare what the two texts suggest about parent-child relationships.

Topics for comparative essays are usually pretty broad, but let’s pull out some key words and questions that the topic and the quotes seem to raise.

The one that stands out the most to me is this idea of ‘unconditional love’. For parents, this usually means they’ll love and support their child no matter what mistakes or choices they make . In the context of Reckoning , this was brought up in terms of Magda’s sexuality , which is neither a mistake nor a choice, but consider how it permeates through the memoir, and how it’s always been there in some of her parents’ thoughts, words and actions. And how might it compare with The Namesake ?

The other quote is a little more interesting, in particular the ‘to me and your mother’ bit, which I think complicates the idea of unconditional love . Is love still unconditional if parents define who you are and who you will “never be”? I think what’s implied here is that you want to include some discussion of parental expectations, which is another can of worms. It might include things like how parents want you to behave, what career choices they might want you to make, whether or not they approve of your friends or romantic partners .

Now, let’s dive into a possible plan to tackle a topic like this...

Paragraph One

So firstly, let's establish that parent-child relationships are often laden with expectations .

It may not be the obvious example, but Ashima’s family had undoubtedly expected her to marry Ashoke , a PhD student in Boston at the time, as conveyed through “her mother’s salesmanship” . We see this mirrored in the life of Moushumi as well, whose parents orchestrated a “series of unsuccessful schemes” to see her married in her adolescence. Gogol experiences expectations that aren’t all so intentional—while his parents don’t mean him any harm by naming him Gogol, he feels trapped by the name, “ always hated it” in fact. Still, his parents are markedly “ disappointedly ” when he chooses Columbia over MIT, and are “ distressed ” by his low income while he’s at college.

Szubanski’s parents have somewhat similar expectations in this regard: “t he ranks of the second generation are full of doctors and lawyers and professionals.” She felt that “ all of the family’s educational hopes rested on [her].”

These examples mightn’t be the most obvious, but they’re effective for making this point, and don’t need too much explanation to tie it into the prompt .

Paragraph Two

Let’s keep this in mind for our second paragraph: trauma can be passed on intergenerationally through how parents treat their children, and this can bring its own set of expectations as well.

Gogol feels trapped by his name, but it is a result of his father’s traumatic experiences . What Ashoke might not realise is that this has caused Gogol even more distress of his own. This is probably stronger in Reckoning , where Peter’s emotional capacity is compromised as a result of war . When Magda looks through the book filled with pictures of decomposing bodies and feels uneasy, her father’s comment, “ don’t be silly, it’s just a picture,” m akes her feel ashamed of herself for her “stupidity and weakness” . So, parental expectations can be distorted by their traumatic experiences, which only serves to pass that trauma on.

Paragraph Three

To conclude, let’s flip this around to look at how children respond to their parents: in both texts, there’s a sense that being able to confront these expectations and memories from the past helps children to synthesise their own identity and move forward in their own lives.

In The Namesake , Gogol only reads The Overcoat after his father dies, in fact saving it from a box that was about to be donated, “ destined to disappear from his life altogether.” The novel ends here, which could represent that he is able to move into a new phase of his life only after having grappled with this one. Szubanski’s pilgrimage back to Poland and Ireland come from similar desires to better understand her parents. She “wondered if Europe might provide the sense of home [she] craved” particularly given her father’s desire to never look back at his traumatic past there.

I think the bottom line is that parent-child relationships are already complex, and can be further complicated by a number of factors. Still, it’s up to children to grapple with the burden of expectations, and to forge our own path forward from there.

‍ This blog was updated on 05/10/2020.

2. Characters

4. Literary Devices

5. Important Quotes

6. Sample Essay Topics

7. A+ Essay Topic Breakdown

Pride and Prejudice is usually studied in the Australian curriculum under Area of Study 1 - Text Response. For a detailed guide on Text Response, check out our Ultimate Guide to VCE Text Response .

Jane Austen’s 1813 novel, Pride and Prejudice , follows the titular character of Elizabeth Bennet as she and her family navigate love, loyalty and wealth.

When Mrs. Bennet hears that a wealthy, young and eligible bachelor, Mr. Bingley, has moved into the manor of Netherfield Park nearby, she hopes to see one of her daughters marry him. Of the five daughters born to Mr. and Mrs. Bennet, Jane, Elizabeth, Mary, Kitty and Lydia, Jane takes an early liking to Mr. Bingley despite his friend, Mr. Darcy, initial coldness and apathy towards her younger sister Elizabeth. Though Mr. Darcy’s distaste soon grows to attraction and love.

While Jane and Mr. Bingley begin to fall for each other, Elizabeth receives and declines a marriage proposal from her supercilious cousin Mr. Collins, who eventually comes to marry Elizabeth’s dear friend Charlotte. While Mr. Darcy is in residence at Netherfield Park, Elizabeth finds and enjoys the company of a young officer named Mr. Wickham who too has a strong disliking for Mr. Darcy. Mr. Wickham claims it was Mr. Darcy who cheated him out of his fortune, which then deepens Elizabeth's initial ill impression of the arrogant man.

After a ball is held at Netherfield Park, the wealthy family quits the estate, leaving Jane heartbroken. Jane is then invited to London by her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner, which Mr. Darcy fails to tell Mr. Bingley as he has persuaded him not to court Jane because of her lesser status.

When Elizabeth visits her newly married friend Charlotte, she meets Lady Catherine de Bourgh’s (Mr. Darcy’s Aunt) other nephew, Colonel Fitzwilliam. While there, Mr. Darcy appears and proposes to Elizabeth unexpectedly claiming he loves and admires her. To Mr. Darcy’s surprise, Elizabeth refuses as she blames him for ruining Mr. Wickam’s hopes of success and for keeping Jane and Mr. Bingley apart. Mr. Darcy later apologies in a letter and admits to persuading Mr. Bingley not to pursue Jane, but argues that her love for him was not obvious. In the letter, he also denies Wickam’s accusations and explains that Wickham had intended to elope with his sister for her fortune.

Elizabeth joins her Aunt and Uncle in visiting Mr. Darcy’s great estate of Pemberley under the impression he would be absent. It is there that Elizabeth learns from the housekeeper that Mr. Darcy is a generous landlord. Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy then have a chance encounter after he returns home ahead of schedule. Following her previous rejection of him, Mr. Darcy has attempted to reform his character and presents himself amiably to Elizabeth’s Aunt and Uncle as she begins to warm up to him.

Mr Darcy happens upon Elizabeth as she receives the terrible news that Lydia has run off with Wickam in an event that could ruin her family. Mr. Darcy then going out in search for Wickham and Lydia to hurry their nuptials. When Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy return to Netherfield Park, Elizabeth is pleased to see him though Darcy shows no sign of his regard for her. Jane and Mr. Bingley soon become engaged.

Soon thereafter, Lady Catherine visits the Bennets and insists that Elizabth never agree to marry her nephew. Darcy hears of Elizabeth's refusal, and when he next comes, he proposes a second time which she accepts, his pride then humbled and her prejudices overturned.

• Elizabeth Bennet
• Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy
• Jane Bennet
• Mr. Charles Bingley
• Mrs. Bennet
• George Wickham
• Lydia Bennet
• Mr. Collins
• Miss Bingley
• Lady Catherine De Bourgh
• Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner
• Charlotte Lucas
• Georgiana Darcy
• Mary Bennet
• Catherine Bennet

Within the text the theme of pride is ever present as it plays a major role in how Austen’s characters present themselves, their attitudes and how they treat each other. For much of the novel pride blinds both Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth of their true feelings and hence becomes something both characters must overcome. While Darcy’s pride makes him look down upon those not immediately within his social circle, Elizabeth takes so much pride in her ability to judge the character of others that she refuses to amend her opinions even when her initial judgements are proven wrong. Indeed, this is why Elizabeth despises the benign Darcy early on in the text, but initially takes a liking to the mendacious Wickham. By the denouement of the novel, both Datcy and Elizabeth have overcome their pride by encouraging and supporting each others own personal evolution. Indeed, as Darcy sheds his elitism Elizabeth comes to realise the importance of revaluation.

The tendency of others to judge one another based on perceptions, rather than who they are and what they value becomes a point of prolific discussion within Pride and Prejudice . Indeed, the title of the text clearly implies the related nature of pride and prejudice as both Darcy and Elizabeth are often shown to make the wrong assumptions; Darcy’s assumptions grounded in his social prejudice whereas Elizabeth’s is rooted in her discernment led astray by her excessive pride. As Austen subtly mocks the two lovers biases, she gives the impression that while such flaws are common faulting someone else for the prejudice is easy while recognising it in yourself is hard. While Austen’s representation of prejudice is aligned with personal development and moral growth as she wittingly condemns those who refuse to set aside their prejudices like Lady Catherine and Caroline.

The family unit that Austen displays with Pride and Prejudice becomes the social and domestic sphere as it forms the emotional center of the novel in which she grounds her analysis and discussion. Not only does the family determine the social hierarchy and standing of its members but provides the intellectual and moral support for its children. In the case of the Bennet family, Austen reveals how the individuals identity and sense of self is molded within the family as she presents Jane and Elizabeth as mature, intelligent and witty and lydia as a luckless fool. Not only this, Austen reveals the emotional spectrum that lives within every family as shown through Elizabeth’s varying relationship with her parents; the tense relationship with her mother and sympathy she shares with her father.

At the center of its plot, Pride and Prejudice examines the complex inequality that governs the relationships between men and women and the limited options that women have in regards to marriage. Austen portrays a world in which the socio-economic relationship between security and love limits the woman and her choices as it based exclusively on a family’s social rank and connections. Indeed, the expectations of the Bennet sisters, as members of the upper class is to marry well instead of work. As women can not inherit their families estate nor money, their only option is to marry well in the hope of attaining wealth and social standing. Through this, Austen explains Mrs. Bennet’s hysteria about marrying off her daughters. Yet Austen is also shown to be critical of those who marry purely for security, thereby offering Elizabth as the ideal, who initially refuses marriage as she refutes financial comfort but ends up marrying for love.

Class and Wealth

As Austen focuses much of her novel on the impacts of class and wealth, she makes clear of the system that favours the rich and powerful and often punishes the weak and poor. Characters like Lady Catherine, whose enforcement of rigid hierarchical positions often leads her to mistreatment of others. Other characters like Mr. Collins and Caroline are depicted as void of genuine connection as they are unable to live and love outside the perimeter of their social standing. In contrast, characters such as Bingley and the Gardiners offer a respectable embodiment of wealth and class through their kindness and manners. Indeed, Austen does not criticise the entire class system as she offers examples that serve to demonstrate the decency and respectability. Darcy embodies all that a high-class gentleman should as though he is initially presented as flawed and arrogant, it becomes clear as the novel progresses that he is capable of change. Always generous and compassionate, his involvement with Elizabeth helps to brings his nurturing nature to the foreground, evident in his attempts to help the foolish lydia. Ultimately, Austen suggest through Darcy’s and Elizabeth's union that though class and wealth are restrictive, they do not determine one’s character nor who one is capable of loving.

Literary Devices

• Symbolism, imagery and allegories
• Writing style
• Three Act plot

Important Quotes

• “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” (ch.1)

When writing on any text in Text Response, it is essential to use quotes and analyse them.

Let’s take this quote, for example.

“it is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife”

This is the opening line of the novel. It is satirical, ironic and mocking in tone. Austen makes fun of the notion that wealthy bachelors must be wanting to marry in order to be valued in society. By using this tone, she subverts this “truth universally acknowledged” and encourages readers to question this societal presumption of wealth and marriage.

Have a look at the following quotes and ask yourself, ‘how would I analyse this quote?’:

• “She is tolerable; but not handsome enough to tempt me; and I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men.” (ch.3)
• "An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do." (ch.20)
• “In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” (ch.34)
• “They were all of them warm in her admiration; and at that moment she felt that to be mistress of Pemberley might be something!” (ch.43)
• “You are too generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject forever.” (ch.58)

Essay Topics

1. What do the various relationships shown in Pride and Prejudice tell us about love, marriage and society?

2. Austen shows that even those of the best moral character can be blinded by their pride and prejudice . To what extent do you agree?

3. Elizabeth Bennet holds a radical view of marriage for her time . What impact does this attitude have on the other characters' lives and relationships ? Discuss.

For more sample essay topics, head over to our Pride and Prejudice Study Guid e to practice writing essays using the analysis you've learnt in this blog!

Whenever you get a new essay topic, you can use LSG’s THINK and EXECUTE strategy , a technique to help you write better VCE essays. This essay topic breakdown will focus on the THINK part of the strategy. If you’re unfamiliar with this strategy, then check it out in How To Write A Killer Text Response because it’ll dramatically enhance how much you can take away from the following essays and more importantly, to then be able to apply these in your own writing.

Step 3: C reate a Plan  

Character-based Prompt: Elizabeth Bennet holds a radical view of marriage for her time. What impact could this attitude have on the other characters' lives and relationships? Discuss. 

The following comes essay topic breakdown comes from our Pride and Prejudice Study Guide:

Elizabeth Bennet holds a radical view of marriage for her time . What impact could this attitude have on the other characters' lives and relationships ? Discuss.

A character based essay prompt is pretty self-explanatory as the prompt will have a specific focus on one character or a group of characters. While they may look relatively simple and straightforward, a lot of students struggle with character based questions as they find it is hard to discuss ideas in a lot of depth. With that in mind, it's important that we strive for what the author is saying; what is the author trying to convey through this specific character? What do they represent? Do they advocate for specific ideas or does the author use this character to condemn a certain idea and action?  

This question is looking at the attitude Elizabeth Bennet has in regard to the expectation and institution of marriage and how her view could impact the lives of the people around her. As always, we want to make sure that we not only identify our key words but define them. I started by first defining/ exploring the attitude Elizabeth holds towards the institution of marriage ; as marriage was not only an expectation in the times of regency England but a means to secure future financial security , Elizabeth’s outlook that an individual should marry only for the purpose of happiness and love was not only radical but dangerous . Her outlook, while noble, could and did put her family at jeopardy of being cast out from their estate as without a union between one of the Bennet daughters and Mr. Collins, Mr. Collins would have every right to do so as the only male inherent. I also looked at the wider implications Elizabeth’s outlook could have on the lives of the other characters such as Charlotte , Darcy and Bingley .

Step 3: Plan

Contention : Your contention relates to your interpretation of the essay prompt and the stance you’re going to take – i.e. are you in agreement, disagreement, or both to an extent.

While radical for her time, Elizabeth's progressive view of marriage can be seen to advocate for the rights of women and love and happiness but also, can jeopardise the livelihoods of those around her as Elizabeth is guided by selfish motives. 

P1: The radical view of marriage Elizabeth holds can be viewed as selfish and guided by her own self interest which is shown to negatively impact the lives of her family. 

P2: As Elizabeth diverts from the traditional approach to marriage, she encourages her friends and loved ones to follow their own hearts and morals rather than society's expectations. 

P3: Because Elizabeth is depicted as a bold and beautiful woman, she is unable to recognise that her radical view is a luxury that not all characters have access to. 

If you'd like to see an A+ essay on the essay topic above, complete with annotations on HOW and WHY the essays achieved A+ so you can emulate this same success, then you'll definitely want to check out our Pride and Prejudice Study Guide: A Killer Text Guide! In it, we also cover themes, characters, views and values, metalanguage and have 4 other sample A+ essays completely annotated so you can kill your next SAC or exam! Check it out here ."

The Ultimate Guide to VCE Text Response

How To Write A Killer Text Response Study Guide

How to embed quotes in your essay like a boss

How to turn your Text Response essays from average to A+

5 Tips for a mic drop worthy essay conclusion

You can find the VCAA exam 2009  here .

Have a go at analysing it yourself first, then see how I've interpreted the article below! For a detailed guide on Language Analysis including how to prepare for your SAC and exam, check out our Ultimate Guide to VCE Language Analysis .

Information

Author:  Voxi

Type of article:  Opinion piece

Publisher:  Clt Alt

Date of publication:  23rd of May, 2009

Contention:  We should embrace the digital technology as it has, and will continue to revolutionise our lives in regards to intelligence, convenience, communication and more.

Number of article(s):  1

Number of image(s):  1 (not disclosed on VCAA website due to copyright laws)

Source:  VCAA website

Note:  Persuasive techniques can be interpreted in many ways. The examples given below are not the single correct answer. Only a selected number of persuasive techniques have been identified in this guide.

Persuasive technique:  Imagery

Example:  ‘Keyed In’

Analysis:  The term ‘keyed in’ depicts an image of keys on a laptop or computer – one of the important inventions in regards to digital technology as well as the idea that those who are ‘keyed in’ are ‘up-to-date’ with its progression. This invites support from the reader since it is desirable to be ‘up-to-speed’ with the latest developments and trends – especially since new technology allows such accessibility.

Persuasive technique:  Type of publication

Example:  Online journal

Analysis:  By publishing the article on an online platform, Voxi aims to target ‘tech-savvy’ readers who are more inclined to appreciate technology than those who read other publication avenues such as newspapers.

Persuasive technique:  Acknowledging the opposition

Example:  ‘Some people are naturally afraid of the new, challenged by the discomfort of being dislodged from the known, the safe, the predictable, the tried and the tested – in short, their comfort zone.’

Analysis:  Voxi invites readers to view him as someone who is considerate and rational by displaying an understanding front towards those opposed to the use of technology, ‘some people are naturally afraid of the new.’

Example:  ‘…maybe they have a point – sometimes it’s good to take time out and just enjoy what you’ve got.’

Analysis:  Through admitting that perhaps those opposed to the development of technology may ‘have a point’, Voxi aims to manipulate readers into trusting him since he appears genuine and fair towards the issue.

Persuasive technique: Positioning advocators in a positive light

Example:  ‘They see possibilities for making things better where other people want to chill, just responding to the pleasure of the moment.’

Analysis:  By positioning technology advocates as people who ‘see possibilities for making things better,’ Voxi attempts to coax readers into support since readers tend to respect and admire those who take action, rather than someone who is static and merely wants to ‘chill.’

Persuasive technique:  Characterisation of supporters as heroes

Example:  ‘History’s full of moments though, when human beings have been moved forward by people who have been like the grit in an oyster. Gritty people produce pearls.’

Analysis:  Though the characterisation of technology advocators as ‘gritty people,’ Voxi urges readers to view those people with admiration as their determination and dedication has lead to the ‘produc[tion of] pearls’ or in other words, valuable inventions.

Persuasive technique:  Colloquial Language

Example:  ‘Well, sort of.’

Analysis:  The use of colloquial language, ‘well, sort of,’ is intended to position Voxi as a someone who appears to be a ‘friend’ as he attempts to display a light conversational tone. As a result, readers may be more inclined to support his opinion since they are more likely to listen to a ‘friend’ than a formal authority figure.

Persuasive technique:  Characterisation of advocates as hard workers

Example:  They’re the ones who ask questions, who tinker away in the garage, who turn up on ‘The Inventors.’

Analysis:  By characterising advocates of technology as hard-working, ‘tinker[ing] away in the garage’, , Voxi relies on the readers’ compassion to embrace modern technology as it is clear that much effort and time has been placed in these inventions and therefore shouldn’t be immediately disregarded.

Persuasive technique:  Appeal to a sense of failure

Example:  ‘In our lifetime we haven’t had a Copernicus or Galileo reorganising the cosmos, or a Darwin challenging us with a radically new theory of evolution.’

Analysis:  Voxi tries to influence readers to step up to past generations’ successes such as ‘Copernicus [and] Galileo reorganising the cosmos, or a Darwin challenging us with a radically new theory of evolution’ through the depiction that the current population has failed to produce any great intellectuals.

Persuasive technique:  Repetition

Example:  ‘…revolutionise…’

Analysis:  The repeated word ‘revolutionise’ is an attempt to instill into readers’ minds that there is a dramatic change currently occurring in society and as a result, they should try to keep ‘up to date’ with ‘the new world’.

Persuasive technique:  Rhetorical question

Example:  ‘Why wouldn’t you want it in your life?’

Analysis:  The rhetorical question, ‘why wouldn’t you want it in your life?’ urges readers’ support since it is apparent that there is no reason why people should not accept technology, especially since in the future, readers will be able to ‘lead happy, safe and fulfilling lives in a free and peaceful world’ – something that would result in satisfaction.

Persuasive technique:  Appeal to a sense of youth

Example:  ‘It’s older people who are less familiar with it who are suspicious about it, or even

Analysis:  By creating a dichotomy between the ‘older people’ and the younger generation, Voxi aims to manipulate readers into believing that only the elderly are ‘suspicious…or even afraid’ of technology, whereas all other generations should have no issues and welcome the ‘digital world’ with open arms.

Persuasive technique:  Reference to modern activities

Example:  ‘Global shopping, online banking, working out the itinerary for your holiday, looking up Google Maps and Street View to check out where your friends live, and that’s not to mention Facebook.’

Analysis:  Through referencing to everyday, modern activities such as : ‘Global shopping…looking up Google Maps and Street View…not to mention Facebook’, readers may be compelled to join the population in using technology since they are aware that many people do find these digital advances convenient and applicable to their daily lives.

Persuasive technique:  Use of logic and reasoning

Example:  ‘Sure, some people stress about privacy issues, but these can be resolved. Google is not allowed to film defence sites from Google cars and Google bikes. Let’s face it, the pictures we see are not real-time images. You can protest about them anyway and get them removed or pixellated if you’re really worried.’

Analysis:  Readers are encouraged to support Voxi’s stance since his use of logic, ‘you can protest about them anyway’ and reason, ‘let’s face it, the pictures we see are not real-time images’ makes clear that ‘privacy issues’ is not a valid point to denounce technology.

Persuasive technique:  Humourous tone

Example:  ‘Besides, the hot air balloon people are always hovering over my back yard and looking into my windows too.’

Analysis:  Through adopting a humourous tone in pointing out the irony of people’s concerns about ‘privacy issues’ when ‘hot air balloon people are always hovering over my back yard and looking into my windows too,’ Voxi attempts to assure readers that online privacy is no less risky than their privacy at home.

Persuasive technique:  Appeal to convenience

Example:  ‘Why go to a library when you can sit at your desk and look up Wikipedia or Google Scholar, or Ask Jeeves?’

Analysis:  Through posing the rhetorical question, ‘Why go to a library when you can sit at your desk and look up Wikipedia or Google Scholar, or Ask Jeeves?’, Voxi appeals to readers’ sense of convenience since the benefits of merely ‘sitting’ at home clearly outweighs the effort of travelling to a library.

Persuasive technique:  Inclusive language

Example:  ‘Let’s be excited – keep being excited.’

Analysis:  The incorporation of inclusive language, ‘let’s’ urges readers to feel as though they are directly part of the issue or somehow responsible for the outcome and thus, may lead readers to become advocators of technology.

Persuasive technique:  Juxtaposition

Example:  ‘We’d still be swinging in the trees or huddling in caves if we’d taken the view that new things are harmful or dangerous or unpredictable.’

Analysis:  Through the juxtaposition of current society and history when ‘we…sw[u]ng in the trees or huddl[ed] in caves’, Voxi intends to demonstrate that without taking some risks and disregarding that ‘new things are harmful or dangerous or unpredictable’, society would not have come as far as it has now, and thus, readers should continue to push forward with the new digital age.

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How to Write a Commentary

Last Updated: May 19, 2023 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Richard Perkins . Richard Perkins is a Writing Coach, Academic English Coordinator, and the Founder of PLC Learning Center. With over 24 years of education experience, he gives teachers tools to teach writing to students and works with elementary to university level students to become proficient, confident writers. Richard is a fellow at the National Writing Project. As a teacher leader and consultant at California State University Long Beach's Global Education Project, Mr. Perkins creates and presents teacher workshops that integrate the U.N.'s 17 Sustainable Development Goals in the K-12 curriculum. He holds a BA in Communications and TV from The University of Southern California and an MEd from California State University Dominguez Hills. There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 679,357 times.

At some point in your life, you'll probably have to write a commentary. Whether you're a teacher, editor, student, or amateur critic, knowing how to constructively analyze someone's work is a useful skill. There isn't a magical formula for writing a commentary. The commentary you write depends upon what you're reviewing, why you're giving feedback, and what you think about the work. No matter what you’re working on, having a clear goal and strong writing will help make your commentary successful.

Writing a Literary Commentary

• Your thesis is your argument or your point of view. This is where you take a stance, and spend the rest of the essay supporting your thesis.
• Maybe you are writing a commentary on Great Expectations . Your thesis could be, “Not only is Dickens’ tale engaging, it is also an insightful commentary on the differences between social classes in industrial Britain.”

• You might write at the top of your outline, “Important Themes in Great Expectations”. You could then make bullet points such as “Setting”, “Ambition”, “Class”, etc.

• You might start by saying, “ Great Expectations is full of imagery that makes the reader feel as if they are in 19th century England with Pip. Dickens’ novel about class, ambition, and love sheds important light on the social divides of the time.”
• You could then list the themes that you will discuss in the body of your commentary.

• An excellent specific example to illustrate this theme is pointing out that the character remains in her wedding dress, despite being jilted decades before.

• You might write something like, “Miss Havisham is an example of the theme that love can sometimes go terribly wrong. This is also an important theme when examining the relationship between Pip and Estella.”
• Make sure to use smooth transitions. When you move to a new example, use a good transition word or phrase. Some examples are “similarly”, “conversely”, and “again”.

• In your commentary on Great Expectations , you would want to make sure that you emphasize your summary again: this is a good example of class divisions and how ambition is not always the best quality.
• You might also choose to compare it to another book from the same period to illustrate why the work by Dickens is significant. However, you generally shouldn’t introduce new information in your conclusion.

Creating Data Commentary

• You might also be asked by your boss or teacher to write a data commentary. Make sure to ask about their expectations, such as length.

• For example, if the research is about the graduation rate in the Chicago Public Schools, you need to explain the numbers and illustrate why the results are important.

• You might say something like, “As shown in Figure 1.2, the costs of healthcare have risen at a steady rate since 2000.”

• As in the rest of your data commentary, your conclusion should refer to specific pieces of data.

• You should include a specific section for resources at the end of your data commentary.
• Any time you cite numbers or a quote, make sure to provide a reference.

Commentary Outlines

Expert Q&A

• If you are writing a commentary for a class, make sure to carefully follow the instructions. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• Make sure to carefully edit and polish your writing. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://www.bucks.edu/media/bcccmedialibrary/pdf/HOWTOWRITEALITERARYANALYSISESSAY_10.15.07_001.pdf
• ↑ Richard Perkins. Writing Coach & Academic English Coordinator. Expert Interview. 1 September 2021.
• ↑ http://www.udc.edu/docs/asc/Outline_Structure_for_Literary_Analysis_Essay_HATMAT.pdf
• ↑ https://www.germanna.edu/wp-content/uploads/tutoring/handouts/Literary-Analysis.pdf
• ↑ https://writingcenter.unc.edu/writing-data-commentary/
• ↑ https://ebooks.hslu.ch/academicwriting/chapter/4-5-results/
• ↑ https://warwick.ac.uk/fac/arts/modernlanguages/intranet/undergraduate/skills/commesswriting/commentarywriting/
• ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4789530/

About This Article

To write a commentary, write about your observations and analysis of the text you read. You should craft a clear and specific thesis statement about the novel, poem, or play you are evaluating. Your thesis statement should explain your stance or argument about the text. Use this thesis statement to build a brief outline of your commentary and then choose specific details from the text to support your argument. Then, add an introduction to give your reader some context for the themes you will discuss. For tips from our Education reviewer on how to write a data commentary, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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How to Introduce Evidence: 41 Effective Phrases & Examples

Research requires us to scrutinize information and assess its credibility. Accordingly, when we think about various phenomena, we examine empirical data and craft detailed explanations justifying our interpretations. An essential component of constructing our research narratives is thus providing supporting evidence and examples.

The type of proof we provide can either bolster our claims or leave readers confused or skeptical of our analysis. Therefore, it’s crucial that we use appropriate, logical phrases that guide readers clearly from one idea to the next. In this article, we explain how evidence and examples should be introduced according to different contexts in academic writing and catalog effective language you can use to support your arguments, examples included.

When to Introduce Evidence and Examples in a Paper

Evidence and examples create the foundation upon which your claims can stand firm. Without proof, your arguments lack credibility and teeth. However, laundry listing evidence is as bad as failing to provide any materials or information that can substantiate your conclusions. Therefore, when you introduce examples, make sure to judiciously provide evidence when needed and use phrases that will appropriately and clearly explain how the proof supports your argument.

There are different types of claims and different types of evidence in writing. You should introduce and link your arguments to evidence when you

• state information that is not “common knowledge”;
• draw conclusions, make inferences, or suggest implications based on specific data;
• need to clarify a prior statement, and it would be more effectively done with an illustration;
• need to identify representative examples of a category;
• desire to distinguish concepts; and
• emphasize a point by highlighting a specific situation.

Introductory Phrases to Use and Their Contexts

To assist you with effectively supporting your statements, we have organized the introductory phrases below according to their function. This list is not exhaustive but will provide you with ideas of the types of phrases you can use.

Although any research author can make use of these helpful phrases and bolster their academic writing by entering them into their work, before submitting to a journal, it is a good idea to let a professional English editing service take a look to ensure that all terms and phrases make sense in the given research context. Wordvice offers paper editing , thesis editing , and dissertation editing services that help elevate your academic language and make your writing more compelling to journal authors and researchers alike.

For more examples of strong verbs for research writing , effective transition words for academic papers , or commonly confused words , head over to the Wordvice Academic Resources website.

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When Prison and Mental Illness Amount to a Death Sentence

The downward spiral of one inmate, Markus Johnson, shows the larger failures of the nation’s prisons to care for the mentally ill.

Supported by

By Glenn Thrush

Photographs by Carlos Javier Ortiz

Glenn Thrush spent more than a year reporting this article, interviewing close to 50 people and reviewing court-obtained body-camera footage and more than 1,500 pages of documents.

• Published May 5, 2024 Updated May 7, 2024

Markus Johnson slumped naked against the wall of his cell, skin flecked with pepper spray, his face a mask of puzzlement, exhaustion and resignation. Four men in black tactical gear pinned him, his face to the concrete, to cuff his hands behind his back.

He did not resist. He couldn’t. He was so gravely dehydrated he would be dead by their next shift change.

Listen to this article with reporter commentary

“I didn’t do anything,” Mr. Johnson moaned as they pressed a shield between his shoulders.

It was 1:19 p.m. on Sept. 6, 2019, in the Danville Correctional Center, a medium-security prison a few hours south of Chicago. Mr. Johnson, 21 and serving a short sentence for gun possession, was in the throes of a mental collapse that had gone largely untreated, but hardly unwatched.

He had entered in good health, with hopes of using the time to gain work skills. But for the previous three weeks, Mr. Johnson, who suffered from bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, had refused to eat or take his medication. Most dangerous of all, he had stealthily stopped drinking water, hastening the physical collapse that often accompanies full-scale mental crises.

Mr. Johnson’s horrific downward spiral, which has not been previously reported, represents the larger failures of the nation’s prisons to care for the mentally ill. Many seriously ill people receive no treatment . For those who do, the outcome is often determined by the vigilance and commitment of individual supervisors and frontline staff, which vary greatly from system to system, prison to prison, and even shift to shift.

The country’s jails and prisons have become its largest provider of inpatient mental health treatment, with 10 times as many seriously mentally ill people now held behind bars as in hospitals. Estimating the population of incarcerated people with major psychological problems is difficult, but the number is likely 200,000 to 300,000, experts say.

Many of these institutions remain ill-equipped to handle such a task, and the burden often falls on prison staff and health care personnel who struggle with the dual roles of jailer and caregiver in a high-stress, dangerous, often dehumanizing environment.

In 2021, Joshua McLemore , a 29-year-old with schizophrenia held for weeks in an isolation cell in Jackson County, Ind., died of organ failure resulting from a “refusal to eat or drink,” according to an autopsy. In April, New York City agreed to pay $28 million to settle a lawsuit filed by the family of Nicholas Feliciano, a young man with a history of mental illness who suffered severe brain damage after attempting to hang himself on Rikers Island — as correctional officers stood by.

Mr. Johnson’s mother has filed a wrongful-death suit against the state and Wexford Health Sources, a for-profit health care contractor in Illinois prisons. The New York Times reviewed more than 1,500 pages of reports, along with depositions taken from those involved. Together, they reveal a cascade of missteps, missed opportunities, potential breaches of protocol and, at times, lapses in common sense.

Prison officials and Wexford staff took few steps to intervene even after it became clear that Mr. Johnson, who had been hospitalized repeatedly for similar episodes and recovered, had refused to take medication. Most notably, they did not transfer him to a state prison facility that provides more intensive mental health treatment than is available at regular prisons, records show.

The quality of medical care was also questionable, said Mr. Johnson’s lawyers, Sarah Grady and Howard Kaplan, a married legal team in Chicago. Mr. Johnson lost 50 to 60 pounds during three weeks in solitary confinement, but officials did not initiate interventions like intravenous feedings or transfer him to a non-prison hospital.

And they did not take the most basic step — dialing 911 — until it was too late.

There have been many attempts to improve the quality of mental health treatment in jails and prisons by putting care on par with punishment — including a major effort in Chicago . But improvements have proved difficult to enact and harder to sustain, hampered by funding and staffing shortages.

Lawyers representing the state corrections department, Wexford and staff members who worked at Danville declined to comment on Mr. Johnson’s death, citing the unresolved litigation. In their interviews with state police investigators, and in depositions, employees defended their professionalism and adherence to procedure, while citing problems with high staff turnover, difficult work conditions, limited resources and shortcomings of co-workers.

But some expressed a sense of resignation about the fate of Mr. Johnson and others like him.

Prisoners have “much better chances in a hospital, but that’s not their situation,” said a senior member of Wexford’s health care team in a deposition.

“I didn’t put them in prison,” he added. “They are in there for a reason.”

Markus Mison Johnson was born on March 1, 1998, to a mother who believed she was not capable of caring for him.

Days after his birth, he was taken in by Lisa Barker Johnson, a foster mother in her 30s who lived in Zion, Ill., a working-class city halfway between Chicago and Milwaukee. Markus eventually became one of four children she adopted from different families.

The Johnson house is a lively split level, with nieces, nephews, grandchildren and neighbors’ children, family keepsakes, video screens and juice boxes. Ms. Johnson sits at its center on a kitchen chair, chin resting on her hand as children wander over to share their thoughts, or to tug on her T-shirt to ask her to be their bathroom buddy.

From the start, her bond with Markus was particularly powerful, in part because the two looked so much alike, with distinctive dimpled smiles. Many neighbors assumed he was her biological son. The middle name she chose for him was intended to convey that message.

“Mison is short for ‘my son,’” she said standing over his modest footstone grave last summer.

He was happy at home. School was different. His grades were good, but he was intensely shy and was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in elementary school.

That was around the time the bullying began. His sisters were fierce defenders, but they could only do so much. He did the best he could, developing a quick, taunting tongue.

These experiences filled him with a powerful yearning to fit in.

It was not to be.

When he was around 15, he called 911 in a panic, telling the dispatcher he saw two men standing near the small park next to his house threatening to abduct children playing there. The officers who responded found nothing out of the ordinary, and rang the Johnsons’ doorbell.

He later told his mother he had heard a voice telling him to “protect the kids.”

He was hospitalized for the first time at 16, and given medications that stabilized him for stretches of time. But the crises would strike every six months or so, often triggered by his decision to stop taking his medication.

His family became adept at reading signs he was “getting sick.” He would put on his tan Timberlands and a heavy winter coat, no matter the season, and perch on the edge of his bed as if bracing for battle. Sometimes, he would cook his own food, paranoid that someone might poison him.

He graduated six months early, on the dean’s list, but was rudderless, and hanging out with younger boys, often paying their way.

His mother pointed out the perils of buying friendship.

“I don’t care,” he said. “At least I’ll be popular for a minute.”

Zion’s inviting green grid of Bible-named streets belies the reality that it is a rough, unforgiving place to grow up. Family members say Markus wanted desperately to prove he was tough, and emulated his younger, reckless group of friends.

Like many of them, he obtained a pistol. He used it to hold up a convenience store clerk for $425 in January 2017, according to police records. He cut a plea deal for two years of probation, and never explained to his family what had made him do it.

But he kept getting into violent confrontations. In late July 2018, he was arrested in a neighbor’s garage with a handgun he later admitted was his. He was still on probation for the robbery, and his public defender negotiated a plea deal that would send him to state prison until January 2020.

An inpatient mental health system

Around 40 percent of the about 1.8 million people in local, state and federal jails and prison suffer from at least one mental illness, and many of these people have concurrent issues with substance abuse, according to recent Justice Department estimates.

Psychological problems, often exacerbated by drug use, often lead to significant medical problems resulting from a lack of hygiene or access to good health care.

“When you suffer depression in the outside world, it’s hard to concentrate, you have reduced energy, your sleep is disrupted, you have a very gloomy outlook, so you stop taking care of yourself,” said Robert L. Trestman , a Virginia Tech medical school professor who has worked on state prison mental health reforms.

The paradox is that prison is often the only place where sick people have access to even minimal care.

But the harsh work environment, remote location of many prisons, and low pay have led to severe shortages of corrections staff and the unwillingness of doctors, nurses and counselors to work with the incarcerated mentally ill.

In the early 2000s, prisoners’ rights lawyers filed a class-action lawsuit against Illinois claiming “deliberate indifference” to the plight of about 5,000 mentally ill prisoners locked in segregated units and denied treatment and medication.

In 2014, the parties reached a settlement that included minimum staffing mandates, revamped screening protocols, restrictions on the use of solitary confinement and the allocation of about $100 million to double capacity in the system’s specialized mental health units.

Yet within six months of the deal, Pablo Stewart, an independent monitor chosen to oversee its enforcement, declared the system to be in a state of emergency.

Over the years, some significant improvements have been made. But Dr. Stewart’s final report , drafted in 2022, gave the system failing marks for its medication and staffing policies and reliance on solitary confinement “crisis watch” cells.

Ms. Grady, one of Mr. Johnson’s lawyers, cited an additional problem: a lack of coordination between corrections staff and Wexford’s professionals, beyond dutifully filling out dozens of mandated status reports.

“Markus Johnson was basically documented to death,” she said.

‘I’m just trying to keep my head up’

Mr. Johnson was not exactly looking forward to prison. But he saw it as an opportunity to learn a trade so he could start a family when he got out.

On Dec. 18, 2018, he arrived at a processing center in Joliet, where he sat for an intake interview. He was coherent and cooperative, well-groomed and maintained eye contact. He was taking his medication, not suicidal and had a hearty appetite. He was listed as 5 feet 6 inches tall and 256 pounds.

Mr. Johnson described his mood as “go with the flow.”

A few days later, after arriving in Danville, he offered a less settled assessment during a telehealth visit with a Wexford psychiatrist, Dr. Nitin Thapar. Mr. Johnson admitted to being plagued by feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness and “constant uncontrollable worrying” that affected his sleep.

He told Dr. Thapar he had heard voices in the past — but not now — telling him he was a failure, and warning that people were out to get him.

At the time he was incarcerated, the basic options for mentally ill people in Illinois prisons included placement in the general population or transfer to a special residential treatment program at the Dixon Correctional Center, west of Chicago. Mr. Johnson seemed out of immediate danger, so he was assigned to a standard two-man cell in the prison’s general population, with regular mental health counseling and medication.

Things started off well enough. “I’m just trying to keep my head up,” he wrote to his mother. “Every day I learn to be stronger & stronger.”

But his daily phone calls back home hinted at friction with other inmates. And there was not much for him to do after being turned down for a janitorial training program.

Then, in the spring of 2019, his grandmother died, sending him into a deep hole.

Dr. Thapar prescribed a new drug used to treat major depressive disorders. Its most common side effect is weight gain. Mr. Johnson stopped taking it.

On July 4, he told Dr. Thapar matter-of-factly during a telehealth check-in that he was no longer taking any of his medications. “I’ve been feeling normal, I guess,” he said. “I feel like I don’t need the medication anymore.”

Dr. Thapar said he thought that was a mistake, but accepted the decision and removed Mr. Johnson from his regular mental health caseload — instructing him to “reach out” if he needed help, records show.

The pace of calls back home slackened. Mr. Johnson spent more time in bed, and became more surly. At a group-therapy session, he sat stone silent, after showing up late.

By early August, he was telling guards he had stopped eating.

At some point, no one knows when, he had intermittently stopped drinking fluids.

‘I’m having a breakdown’

Then came the crash.

On Aug. 12, Mr. Johnson got into a fight with his older cellmate.

He was taken to a one-man disciplinary cell. A few hours later, Wexford’s on-site mental health counselor, Melanie Easton, was shocked by his disoriented condition. Mr. Johnson stared blankly, then burst into tears when asked if he had “suffered a loss in the previous six months.”

He was so unresponsive to her questions she could not finish the evaluation.

Ms. Easton ordered that he be moved to a 9-foot by 8-foot crisis cell — solitary confinement with enhanced monitoring. At this moment, a supervisor could have ticked the box for “residential treatment” on a form to transfer him to Dixon. That did not happen, according to records and depositions.

Around this time, he asked to be placed back on his medication but nothing seems to have come of it, records show.

By mid-August, he said he was visualizing “people that were not there,” according to case notes. At first, he was acting more aggressively, once flicking water at a guard through a hole in his cell door. But his energy ebbed, and he gradually migrated downward — from standing to bunk to floor.

“I’m having a breakdown,” he confided to a Wexford employee.

At the time, inmates in Illinois were required to declare an official hunger strike before prison officials would initiate protocols, including blood testing or forced feedings. But when a guard asked Mr. Johnson why he would not eat, he said he was “fasting,” as opposed to starving himself, and no action seems to have been taken.

‘Tell me this is OK!’

Lt. Matthew Morrison, one of the few people at Danville to take a personal interest in Mr. Johnson, reported seeing a white rind around his mouth in early September. He told other staff members the cell gave off “a death smell,” according to a deposition.

On Sept. 5, they moved Mr. Johnson to one of six cells adjacent to the prison’s small, bare-bones infirmary. Prison officials finally placed him on the official hunger strike protocol without his consent.

Mr. Morrison, in his deposition, said he was troubled by the inaction of the Wexford staff, and the lack of urgency exhibited by the medical director, Dr. Justin Young.

On Sept. 5, Mr. Morrison approached Dr. Young to express his concerns, and the doctor agreed to order blood and urine tests. But Dr. Young lived in Chicago, and was on site at the prison about four times a week, according to Mr. Kaplan. Friday, Sept. 6, 2019, was not one of those days.

Mr. Morrison arrived at work that morning, expecting to find Mr. Johnson’s testing underway. A Wexford nurse told him Dr. Young believed the tests could wait.

Mr. Morrison, stunned, asked her to call Dr. Young.

“He’s good till Monday,” Dr. Young responded, according to Mr. Morrison.

“Come on, come on, look at this guy! You tell me this is OK!” the officer responded.

Eventually, Justin Duprey, a licensed nurse practitioner and the most senior Wexford employee on duty that day, authorized the test himself.

Mr. Morrison, thinking he had averted a disaster, entered the cell and implored Mr. Johnson into taking the tests. He refused.

So prison officials obtained approval to remove him forcibly from his cell.

‘Oh, my God’

What happened next is documented in video taken from cameras held by officers on the extraction team and obtained by The Times through a court order.

Mr. Johnson is scarcely recognizable as the neatly groomed 21-year-old captured in a cellphone picture a few months earlier. His skin is ashen, eyes fixed on the middle distance. He might be 40. Or 60.

At first, he places his hands forward through the hole in his cell door to be cuffed. This is against procedure, the officers shout. His hands must be in back.

He will not, or cannot, comply. He wanders to the rear of his cell and falls hard. Two blasts of pepper spray barely elicit a reaction. The leader of the tactical team later said he found it unusual and unnerving.

The next video is in the medical unit. A shield is pressed to his chest. He is in agony, begging for them to stop, as two nurses attempt to insert a catheter.

Then they move him, half-conscious and limp, onto a wheelchair for the blood draw.

For the next 20 minutes, the Wexford nurse performing the procedure, Angelica Wachtor, jabs hands and arms to find a vessel that will hold shape. She winces with each puncture, tries to comfort him, and grows increasingly rattled.

“Oh, my God,” she mutters, and asks why help is not on the way.

She did not request assistance or discuss calling 911, records indicate.

“Can you please stop — it’s burning real bad,” Mr. Johnson said.

Soon after, a member of the tactical team reminds Ms. Wachtor to take Mr. Johnson’s vitals before taking him back to his cell. She would later tell Dr. Young she had been unable to able to obtain his blood pressure.

“You good?” one of the team members asks as they are preparing to leave.

“Yeah, I’ll have to be,” she replies in the recording.

Officers lifted him back onto his bunk, leaving him unconscious and naked except for a covering draped over his groin. His expressionless face is visible through the window on the cell door as it closes.

‘Cardiac arrest.’

Mr. Duprey, the nurse practitioner, had been sitting inside his office after corrections staff ordered him to shelter for his own protection, he said. When he emerged, he found Ms. Wachtor sobbing, and after a delay, he was let into the cell. Finding no pulse, Mr. Duprey asked a prison employee to call 911 so Mr. Johnson could be taken to a local emergency room.

The Wexford staff initiated CPR. It did not work.

At 3:38 p.m., the paramedics declared Markus Mison Johnson dead.

Afterward, a senior official at Danville called the Johnson family to say he had died of “cardiac arrest.”

Lisa Johnson pressed for more information, but none was initially forthcoming. She would soon receive a box hastily crammed with his possessions: uneaten snacks, notebooks, an inspirational memoir by a man who had served 20 years at Leavenworth.

Later, Shiping Bao, the coroner who examined his body, determined Mr. Johnson had died of severe dehydration. He told the state police it “was one of the driest bodies he had ever seen.”

For a long time, Ms. Johnson blamed herself. She says that her biggest mistake was assuming that the state, with all its resources, would provide a level of care comparable to what she had been able to provide her son.

She had stopped accepting foster care children while she was raising Markus and his siblings. But as the months dragged on, she decided her once-boisterous house had become oppressively still, and let local agencies know she was available again.

“It is good to have children around,” she said. “It was too quiet around here.”

Read by Glenn Thrush

Audio produced by Jack D’Isidoro .

Glenn Thrush covers the Department of Justice. He joined The Times in 2017 after working for Politico, Newsday, Bloomberg News, The New York Daily News, The Birmingham Post-Herald and City Limits. More about Glenn Thrush

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