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The Quality Time Love Language and Your Relationship

Verywell / Laura Porter

Take the Quiz to Identify Your Love Language

Understanding quality time.

  • Showing Love With Quality Time
  • Showing Your 'Quality Time' Oriented Partner You Love Them

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Every couple needs quality time together in order for the relationship to grow and develop. Moments of connection are born out of intentional activities and those hours chatting in bed, cooking, or enjoying hobbies together.

But for some people who have quality time as their love language, the time can take on even greater significance. So how does that desire for time spent together impact the relationship especially when hectic lives get in the way?

Here's a closer look at how expressing the love language of quality time can not only improve your relationship but also show your "quality time" partner that you are fluent in their love language and know what they need.

At a Glance

When it comes to the love language of quality time, most people assume it means spending a lot of time together or going out a lot. If that were the case, trying to show your partner you care through quality time could get exhausting—and expensive.

But loving a partner who craves quality time actually has very little to do with the amount of time you are together. It's also not based on activities. Quality time is all about how you spend the time that you have together. No matter what you are doing, if you are attentive and focused, your partner will feel loved.

This fast, free quiz will help you determine your love language:

This love languages quiz was medically reviewed by Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD.

When it comes to Gary Chapman's five love languages , quality time is the one that centers around togetherness. It's all about expressing your love and affection with your undivided attention.

When you're with your partner, you put down the cell phone , turn off the tablet, and focus on them. And, when you do that, it touches their heart in a way that really matters. They feel important, loved, and special—like you were intentional in setting aside time just for them.

Unfortunately, thanks to technology, quality time with our partners is becoming more and more scarce. Even when we are together, we are someplace else—usually in cyberspace or deep in our own thoughts.

But being in close proximity to one another while doing something else does not always constitute quality time, no matter how long you sit there. And for someone whose primary love language is quality time, this lack of connectedness can leave them feeling empty and alone.

How to Give Your Partner Quality Time

When it comes to speaking your partner's love language, it's important that you do things that will make your partner feel loved and appreciated.

If your partner's primary love language is quality time, you need to not only set aside time for your partner, but also be intentional about how you are spending that time.

If you don't share the same love language as your partner, don't be surprised if these efforts seem a little unnatural at first. With time and effort though, you will be doing these things for your partner without a second thought.

Showing Your 'Quality Time' Oriented Partner You Love Them

Make eye contact.

When it comes to quality time, eye contact is the gateway to loving your quality time partner. In fact, maintaining eye contact tells your partner that they have your full attention, which will make them feel loved, important, and understood. It also communicates that you care about what they have to say.

But when you are distracted and scrolling through your phone while your partner talks about their day, they will feel like you just don't care about what they have to say and, by extension, that you just don't care about them.

Use Active Listening Skills

Active listening is one of the most loving things you can do for your partner, but for many people, this doesn't come naturally. Instead, most people think about their own thoughts and opinions more than they think about their partner's.

When quality time people are talking, try the following active listening skills:

  • Focus on what they are saying.
  • Lean in slightly.
  • Affirm what they are saying.
  • Ask thoughtful questions.
  • Avoid trying to offer advice, unless they ask for it.
  • Try putting yourself in their shoes or thinking about how you might feel in the same situation.

Quality time partners are more interested in feeling understood. They are looking for empathy and compassion and don't always want to have their situations fixed.

Set Limits on Technology

Nothing hurts a quality time person more than to share something they feel is really important, and then to look up and realize their partner is only half paying attention while trying to answer an e-mail from a co-worker or respond to a text.

Make it a habit to put away your phone at dinner or during a coffee break and really focus on what your partner has to say. Even though you may not discuss anything earth-shattering, you are making an important and loving gesture by choosing your partner over technology.

Focus on Quality, Not Quantity

When it comes to quality time, it's not about the amount of time you spend together but instead the quality of your interactions that count. And with so much going on in your life, carving out a few minutes for a meaningful and uninterrupted conversation can be a wonderful way to show the person you love that you care.

The key is that you take the time to enjoy one another's company, even if it is just sitting on the couch enjoying a cup of coffee before work. Remember, it's not about the quantity of time you spend together, but rather the quality.

Make a Plan

While it never hurts to be spontaneous, planning to do something together can be just as fun and exciting as a last-minute dinner or movie, especially for a quality time partner. It's often too easy for couples to get in a rut after they have been together for a while.

Instead of settling for the "same old, same old," try making plans. Taking steps to initiate quality time will mean a lot to your partner. Plus, the anticipation of spending time together will really speak love to them.

It doesn't matter what you do, just plan something different. A few suggestions:

  • Try the new restaurant in town.
  • Schedule a bike ride on a Saturday morning.
  • Plan a leisurely walk along the riverbank after work.

Remember, just because spending time together is expected when people have been together a while doesn't mean you cannot also be intentional about how you spend that time.

Develop a Routine

Look for small ways to connect with your partner on a daily basis. For instance, you could pray or meditate together every morning or read the Sunday funnies together each week.

Finding a small way to regularly connect will help your quality time partner feel fulfilled and appreciated. Plus, it's something you can both look forward to doing together.

Be Present and Available

When your partner is feeling insecure or going through a tough time, you can really show you care by simply being there and spending some quality time together. Even though you won't be able to take all the discomfort away—nor should you be expected to—you will be able to demonstrate that you are present and available when they need you.

Stay in the Moment

For people whose primary love language is quality time, they never lose sight of the fact that time is limited and tomorrow is not promised. As a result, they view time together as a priceless gift that they want to give and receive in relationships.

To them, life is about being in the moment more than it is about what you are doing. It's also about prioritizing the people you love over everything else.

Get Creative

Everyone has days when their to-do list is a mile long. Rather than run all your errands by yourself, invite your quality time partner to come along. Even though you are doing something mundane and boring, you can sneak in some quality time.

For instance, turn off the radio and talk to one another. Ask how your partner's life is going and what is stressing them out right now. You can turn just about any activity into a chance to sneak in some quality time if you are creative.

At times, it can be hard to communicate love to your partner through quality time, especially if it is not your primary love language. But you will eventually get the hang of it. The key is to avoid a few of these common mistakes.

  • Don't complain about the time you spend together.
  • Resist the urge to do something else while your partner is talking.
  • Don't view your quality time partner as needy.
  • Keep your technology stowed away when you have time planned together.
  • Don't forget to ask what your partner needs in order to feel loved.

By Sherri Gordon Sherri Gordon, CLC is a published author, certified professional life coach, and bullying prevention expert. She's also the former editor of Columbus Parent and has countless years of experience writing and researching health and social issues.

Personality Growth

Personality Growth

Love Language: Quality Time

quality time love language essay

Quality time is one of the five love languages that author and relationship counselor Gary Chapman identified in his 1992 book “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.” Quality time is characterized by giving someone your undivided attention, being fully present in the moment, and engaging in activities or conversations that promote closeness and connection.

In this essay, we will explore what quality time as a love language means, how it can be expressed, why it is important in relationships, and how to improve your quality time with your loved ones.

What is Quality Time?

Quality time is a love language that emphasizes the importance of being present and fully engaged with your loved one. It is not about the amount of time you spend together, but rather the quality of that time. When you give someone your undivided attention, you are communicating that they are important and valued, and that you are committed to building a deeper connection with them.

Quality time can take many forms, including meaningful conversations, shared activities, and simply being present in the same space without distractions. The key is to focus on the present moment, listen actively, and show genuine interest in the other person.

How to Express Quality Time

To express quality time as a love language, it is important to be intentional and thoughtful in how you spend time with your loved one. Here are some ways to express quality time:

  • Plan activities together: Find activities that you both enjoy and make time to do them together. This could be anything from cooking a meal to going for a hike to attending a concert.
  • Be fully present: When spending time with your loved one, put away distractions like your phone or computer, and give them your full attention. Listen actively, ask questions, and show genuine interest in what they have to say.
  • Schedule regular date nights: Make time for regular date nights or other special events that are just for the two of you. This will give you both something to look forward to and create opportunities for deeper connection.
  • Share experiences: Try new things together and share in the experience. This could be as simple as trying a new restaurant or taking a dance class.
  • Prioritize time together: Make time for your loved one a priority in your life, even if it means saying no to other commitments or activities.

Why Quality Time is Important

Quality time is important in relationships because it fosters connection and intimacy. When you give someone your undivided attention, you are communicating that they are important and valued, which can increase feelings of love and attachment. Quality time also creates opportunities for meaningful conversation and shared experiences, which can deepen your understanding and appreciation of each other.

In contrast, a lack of quality time can lead to feelings of disconnection and neglect. If you are always distracted or too busy to spend time with your loved one, they may feel like they are not a priority in your life. This can lead to resentment, distance, and ultimately, relationship problems.

Improving Your Quality Time

If you want to improve your quality time with your loved one, here are some tips to consider:

  • Schedule it: Make quality time a regular part of your routine by scheduling it in advance. This will help ensure that you both make time for each other, even when life gets busy.
  • Turn off distractions: When you are spending quality time with your loved one, put away distractions like your phone or computer. This will help you be fully present and engaged in the moment.
  • Listen actively: When having conversations with your loved one, make sure to actively listen and show interest in what they are saying. Ask questions, provide feedback, and validate their feelings.
  • Plan new experiences: To keep things fresh and exciting, plan new experiences that you can share together. This could be anything from trying a new restaurant to taking a weekend trip.
  • Be flexible: Be willing to adjust your plans and activities to accommodate your loved one’s preferences and needs. For example, if they are feeling tired or stressed, suggest a low-key activity like watching a movie at home instead of going out.
  • Show appreciation: Let your loved one know how much you value your time together and how important they are to you. Express gratitude for the moments you share and the experiences you have together.
  • Be creative: Quality time doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated. Be creative and think outside the box to find ways to connect with your loved one in meaningful ways.

In conclusion, quality time is a love language that emphasizes the importance of being present and

fully engaged with your loved one. It is not about the amount of time you spend together, but rather the quality of that time. By being intentional and thoughtful in how you spend time with your loved one, you can foster connection and intimacy, deepen your understanding of each other, and strengthen your relationship. Whether it’s planning activities together, sharing experiences, or simply being fully present, make quality time a priority in your relationships and watch the benefits unfold.

How The Quality Time Love Language Impacts Your Relationship

Ioanna Stavraki

Community Wellbeing Professional, Educator

BSc (Hons) Psychology, MSc, Neuropsychology, MBPsS

Ioanna Stavraki is a healthcare professional leading NHS Berkshire's Wellbeing Network Team and serving as a Teaching Assistant at The University of Malawi for the "Organisation Psychology" MSc course. With previous experience at Frontiers' "Computational Neuroscience" journal and startup "Advances in Clinical Medical Research," she contributes significantly to neuroscience and psychology research. Early career experience with Alzheimer's patients and published works, including an upcoming IET book chapter, underscore her dedication to advancing healthcare and neuroscience understanding.

Learn about our Editorial Process

Olivia Guy-Evans, MSc

Associate Editor for Simply Psychology

BSc (Hons) Psychology, MSc Psychology of Education

Olivia Guy-Evans is a writer and associate editor for Simply Psychology. She has previously worked in healthcare and educational sectors.

Saul McLeod, PhD

Editor-in-Chief for Simply Psychology

BSc (Hons) Psychology, MRes, PhD, University of Manchester

Saul McLeod, PhD., is a qualified psychology teacher with over 18 years of experience in further and higher education. He has been published in peer-reviewed journals, including the Journal of Clinical Psychology.

Quality time is one of Dr. Gary Chapman’s five love languages , focusing on the act of giving someone your undivided attention and engagement during shared activities or conversations. This focused time together, free from distractions, signifies deep love and connection, nurturing the bond between couples.

Dr. Chapman is a psychologist-anthropologist and the author of the book “The Five Love Languages,” published in 1992. Love languages, as a concept, describe the way someone expresses and receives love.

couple eating dinner

What is quality time as a love language? 

Quality time reflects people who feel fulfilled and loved when someone makes an active effort to spend time with them (Chapman & Chapman, (2010). 

This can range from doing certain activities together, and finding a shared hobby, working towards goals together, or even just having meaningful talks and bonding time.

It does not only focus on sharing the same physical space but highlights the importance of being present, “in the moment,” and fully engaged with the person.

Similarly, a lack of effort to spend time together and a disinterest in dedicated, focused attention can be extra hurtful to people with this love language. 

Quality time is not gender or age-specific (Chapman & Campbell, 2008); anyone can have a preference or disinclination for them, which can also change over time as it is not a rigid concept. 

Quality time examples

Below are some examples of ways to spend quality time with a loved one:

  • Go for a walk or a hike 
  • Cook a meal or bake a cake
  • Visit a museum or art gallery 
  • Go to the cinema or theatre
  • Attend a sporting event
  • Have a nice dinner in candlelight 
  • Try a new hobby
  • Volunteer 
  • Go on a shopping spree
  • Take a class, e.g., cooking or dancing
  • Binge-watch a new series

How do you know if your love language is quality time?

One of the easiest ways to determine your primary love language is by taking the free quiz developed by Dr. Chapman himself ( available on the five love language website ).

It will ask you a series of questions to help you reflect on your preferences and what is most meaningful to you. 

Additionally, there are a few things you can reflect on yourself to help you decide if quality time is your love language. You could ask yourself the following questions:

  • Do you feel the happiest and most fulfilled when you spend quality time with your partner?
  • If your partner is busy and occupied, are you more likely to feel neglected or unimportant?
  • Do you feel the need to spend quality time with your partner in order to feel secure and loved in your relationship?
  • Are you someone who actively makes space for such quality time with your loved ones over other activities, such as getting them a gift?

If quality time is your love language, you focus on spending time with your loved ones, and it is highly important for you to frequently engage in this. 

When you receive your partner’s undivided attention and are prioritized in their life, you feel the most loved and valued.

Even if they are expressing their love in other formats, such as physical touch or with positive words , that emotional connection you feel when being together and focused on each other feels unmatched for you. 

Many people unconsciously use their preferred love language to showcase their emotions to someone, as that is how expressing care comes the most naturally to them. Hence, you may also be someone who enjoys giving others your quality time.

For example, you may actively make time in your schedule to spend time with people you care about. You may also ensure that when you are with them, you give your undivided attention, actively listen , and engage in meaningful conversations.

A checklist to find out whether your love language is quality time

How can you show quality time to your partner?

When it comes to showing quality time to your partner, it is all about creating focused and intentional opportunities to connect with them. There are several ways you can do this to showcase your love, care, and affection. 

Actively listen

The overall key principle to have in mind is to be fully present in the moment and focus on giving them your uninterrupted time. 

Actively listening in the forms of paying attention, making eye contact, asking questions, and being genuinely interested in their points of view will highlight your care for them in a manner they receive the best.

Focus on quality, not quantity 

If you are struggling to differentiate spending time from spending quality time, try thinking about it from a “quantity does not equal quality” perspective. 

Just because you are both occupying the same space does not equate to you having a meaningful and connected moment.

Minimize any potential distractions that could interfere, such as work emails or social media, and create a space conducive to you giving your full attention. 

“Quantity of time is not it. I get irritated if I’m with someone 24/7. But I do like spending quality time with a person. Even if we’re doing two different things in the same room, that’s part of quality time to me.” ‘Jada’

Be mentally present 

Spending quality time should be reflected in you being both physically present, i.e., maintaining eye contact, nodding to show you are listening, sitting close to them, etc., but also mentally present. 

Ensure you are giving your partner your undivided, focused attention and truly engage in your time spent together. This may mean eliminating distractions such as putting your phone away or turning off the TV. 

Proactively make plans

Spending quality time with your partner can also be rather flexible in nature.

If you are just starting to incorporate this love language in your relationship, having an open discussion with them to identify some types of quality time they would enjoy the best would be a good starting point. 

You can then begin to integrate them into your daily schedule, proactively make plans to spend time together and begin to make it part of your weekly relationship routine. 

“To me, it means that you spend as much time as you can together. You are each other’s default. You assume that you’ll be doing something together on the weekends and for holidays. You make plans with each other and follow through.” ‘Sam’

Be spontaneous

On the other hand, it does not have to be rigid and structured. Spontaneity can be an excellent addition to keep things fun and exciting. 

Take an interest in your partner’s life, identify what they enjoy doing, and plan a surprise date.

Showcase your affection

Lastly, do not forget to showcase your appreciation and affection. When spending time together, you can combine quality time with other forms of showing love, such as physical touch or words of affirmation .

This can help elevate your time together and really target that “quality over quantity” mantra. 

Overall, sharing loving moments with your partner is about making them feel appreciated, valued, and connected to you. 

By creating space for such meaningful interaction, you will not only display your love to them but strengthen your emotional bond and lay strong foundations for a healthy relationship.

Why is quality time important?

parent reading to child

Quality time is important as it forms the building block and foundation for a happy, healthy, and long-lasting relationship.

It offers several benefits and can help serve various functions. This can be true for both romantic relationships as well as platonic friendships and family relationships. 

Builds relationships

With quality time, you are creating purposeful time and space to share intimate moments with loved ones. By doing so, you can demonstrate care and affection, which in turn generates opportunities to strengthen and build your relationships. 

This has also been reflected in scientific evidence where researchers identified the factor of “quality time” as having a significant impact on the longevity and overall personal satisfaction of relationships (Baxter, L. A., & Bullis, 1986).

Improves communication

A key principle underlying quality time is the enablement of communication. When spending quality time with a loved one, you are, by proxy allowing for meaningful distraction-free discussions to be held.

This, in turn, improves mutual understanding, can increase feelings of intimacy and trust, and helps prevent emotional distance.

Makes new memories

Quality time provides opportunities for creating and sharing moments with loved ones, resulting in the creation of new memories. Such shared times are then often points of reminiscing and happy times for years to come.

You may even have photographs or videos of spending quality time with loved ones, further enhancing any trips down memory lane.

Keeps us connected

In today’s fast-paced environment, where we are incredibly becoming even more interconnected, our days are consumed with electronics, and our attention is pulled in every which way.

This makes it easy to lose track of time, drown in social media and lose sight of not only being connected online but also connected in real life. 

Thus, actively making an effort to prioritize quality time with loved ones can not only act as a “screen detox” but can keep us grounded and in touch with the people that matter around us. 

Importance of quality time in friendships

In friendships, quality time can serve as a way to strengthen emotional bonds, validate feelings as you are creating an environment of focused attention, and provide opportunities to share activities. 

Regardless of the form this can take, e.g., catching up over coffee or going on a trip with your friend, quality time fosters opportunities for shared experiences, creating new memories, and developing meaningful connections. 

Importance of quality time in family relationships

In family relationships, quality time generates opportunities for everyone to check in with each other, stay in the know of what is happening in their lives, and can help foster a sense of togetherness within the family unit. 

Ensuring designated time for meaningful connections, e.g., reading your children a bedtime story or going on a family outing, can help build a stronger emotional bond and even support children’s development and sense of security and attachment (Kalil, A., & Mayer, S. E. (2016).

What can hurt a person whose love language is quality time?

lonely person

“What makes me feel unloved is when I’m forced to spend holidays alone, when I feel like no one is listening or paying any attention to me, or that people are leaving me out of things on purpose.” ‘Johanna’

For a person whose love language is quality time, there are a few actions that can hurt them and make them feel unloved or undervalued in a relationship. 

One of the primary things to look out for is being distracted or seeming uninterested when spending time together.

Your partner wants to feel like they have your undivided attention, so resist the urge to multitask and remove distractions such as phones or laptops. 

Focusing on other obligations when you are supposed to be spending quality time together can also signal a lack of effort or even disinterest. This, in turn, can make your loved one feel disconnected from you and begin to create a gap in your emotional connection. 

Canceling plans is also something that should be avoided where possible (but this, of course, is not always unavoidable).

As an overall rule of thumb, frequently canceling plans, especially last minute, can signal that you do not value your time spent together and can cause significant disappointment for your partner and make them feel unloved. 

Lastly, avoid complaining that your partner wants to spend quality time together, and do not shame them or devalue their need to feel love this way.

Make a conscious effort to be compassionate and understanding that this is how they best receive love. Try to communicate and work together to ensure they feel valued and emotionally connected. 

Frequently Asked Questions

How can you tell your partner that you need more quality time.

If you would like to spend some more quality time with your partner but are unsure as to how to approach it, here are some simple steps for you to follow. 

Firstly, reflect on what it is that you need and express why it is important to you; it will make it much easier to articulate to your partner if you have self-analyzed first. 

Secondly, as soon as you find a suitable time and place, e.g., when you are both relaxed and at home, have an honest discussion with them.

Communication is key, so it is important that you are direct and clear about your need to spend more quality time together; it could also help if you give some examples of how you want to spend quality time together.   Lastly, actively listen to your partner and try to meet in the middle. Work together on finding a solution that honors you both so that you can strengthen the relationship.

Can a relationship last without quality time?

Every relationship is unique, and in a healthy partnership, there will be periods where time together or communication may be reduced (e.g., work/family commitments).

However, it is rare to have a lasting positive relationship without quality bonding time. 

Quality time serves an important function in a partnership and aids in deepening the emotional connection, relationship satisfaction, and feeling secure in your connection.

Heavily reduced or sparse pockets of quality time can lead to compromised emotional bonds, which in turn can result in one or both partners feeling neglected or unloved, further increasing the chances of conflict and relationship damage.

Does texting count as quality time?

Texting can certainly count as spending quality time with your loved ones as you share personal moments throughout your day.

However, it should not make up the entirety of the meaningful time you allocate to your loved ones. 

Quality time is typically centered around intentional time spent together where all parties give their undivided attention and engagement. 

Texting can often be interrupted by distractions such as social media or emails and while it can have a central role in driving daily connection, it should never substitute high-quality in-person time.

Some exceptions may apply where there are limitations to face-to-face contact, such as in long-distance relationships. 

Which love language is compatible with quality time?

Quality time is one of the most versatile love languages, meaning it can be combined with almost all other love languages to help show your love and affection. However, there are two that align best. 

The first one is acts of service . Engaging in shared activities together and helping your partner out can be a wonderful way to spend time together and strengthen your relationship’s emotional bond. 

The second one is physical touch . Whenever you spend time with your loved one, you can engage in physical activities such as hugs and cuddling. For example, if you are watching a movie, you can also snuggle together.

Always check with your partner if they are comfortable with physical touch first, especially if you are in the beginning stages of your relationship.

How can you show the quality time love language with family or friends?

Quality time is important not only for romantic relationships but also for platonic and family relationships as well. 

Here are a few examples of how you can show the quality time love language to your family and friends:

– Make time in your schedule for them. This could be having meals together or meeting up regularly for coffee.

– Actively engage when listening and conversing. Ensure you are present and give them your undivided attention. For example, if you are having dinner, leave your phone off the table to avoid distractions and make a conscious effort to engage in discussions happening around you.

– Plan fun activities that you can do together. This could range from a fun outing over the weekend to a staycation to even organizing an overseas trip. However big or small, you will be sure to make wonderful and lasting memories.

Baxter, L. A., & Bullis, C. (1986). Turning points in developing romantic relationships. Human communication research , 12 (4), 469-493.

Chapman, G. D. (1992). The five love languages . Northfield Pub.

Chapman, G., & Campbell, R. (2008). The five love languages of children . Moody Publishers.

Chapman, G. D., & Chapman, G. (2010). The five love languages: The secret to love that lasts . Northfield Pub.

Kalil, A., & Mayer, S. E. (2016). Understanding the importance of parental time with children: Comment on Milkie, Nomaguchi, and Denny (2015). Journal of Marriage and Family , 78 (1), 262-265.

An infographic titled 'Is your love language quality time?' with a list of 5 statements that can help someone determine if this is their love language.

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What it means to have quality time as a love language + how to show love this way.

Sarah Regan

We all like to give and receive love in different ways, whether you're more physically or verbally affectionate or you relish in quality time with your partner. In recent years, these signs of affection have become known as the five love languages . They include physical touch , words of affirmation , acts of service , gifts , and quality time .

Knowing which of the five you gravitate toward can help you navigate relationships. Here, we dig into quality time, including how to know whether it's your love language and how to show it.

What is quality time? 

Quality time is one of the five love languages, and it refers to showing love and affection by spending dedicated time together. For people whose love language is quality time, "nothing says 'I love you' like full, undivided attention from those you love," Gary Chapman, Ph.D. , the marriage counselor who developed the love language theory, tells mbg. "Whether it's spending uninterrupted time talking with someone else or doing activities together, you deepen your connection with others through sharing time."

Importantly, you want your time together to feel special and sacred and to feel that you're both truly present—"with the TV off, fork and knife down, and phones and tasks on standby," he adds.

Signs your love language is quality time

Here are a few signs from Chapman and relationship counselor Margaret Paul, Ph.D . If you find most of these statements to be true, quality time is likely very important to you and possibly your primary love language.

  • You feel lonely when you don't have enough time with your partner.
  • Spending time together is incredibly important to you, more so than words, touch, gifts, or acts of service.
  • Postponed activities or dates upset you.
  • When you don't spend enough quality time with your partner, you may be turned off sexually.
  • The time you spend together doing stuff, talking, or just hanging out is the highlight of your relationship.
  • You get upset or feel disconnected if you don't spend enough time together.
  • Distractions or feeling like someone isn't listening can be especially hurtful.
  • You put a lot of emphasis on making your schedules work and making the time special.

RELATED: What's Wrong With The Love Languages, From A Therapist

How to show love to someone whose love language is quality time

Bake quality into your day.

If your partner is someone who enjoys quality time, make an effort to have intentional, meaningful time together when you really feel like you're connecting. "Make it a point of planning quality into your day," Paul says. "It might be as simple as having a meal together, sitting on a patio together, or snuggling together when you wake up and sharing your dreams."

Start and end your day together

Chapman suggests starting your day off with something that allows you to chat and connect, like enjoying a cup of coffee before work. Likewise, find a meaningful way to come back together at the end of the day. "After work, set aside 10 minutes to catch up— no phones allowed ," Chapman recommends. This will help you both unwind after the workday and talk about your day.

Of course, not all schedules will allow this, but planning for those times during the day when you can just be together and connect is important if your partner's love language is quality time.

Avoid distractions when you're together

People whose love language is quality time don't want any distractions to interrupt their time together.

"Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there makes you feel truly special and loved," Chapman explains. "Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful."

Make it a rule of thumb to not multitask when you're speaking with them, as this can be very bothersome.

Prioritize meaningful eye contact

The key with quality time is that it's, well, quality. Your partner ultimately wants to feel like they have your undivided attention if their love language is quality time. So, on top of just avoiding distractions, Chapman adds it's important to maintain eye contact when you're having a conversation, to enrich the moment and be fully present.

Be interested in what they're saying and feeling

The love languages are all about connecting through different means, and quality time can often take the form of conversation and discussion. Not to be confused with words of affirmation, which is more about saying "I love you" and other validating language, quality time is about presence.

"Be interested in what your partner is feeling and how their day was, and you share your feelings and how your day was," Paul notes.

When your partner is speaking to you, do your best to actively listen . That means limiting distractions as previously mentioned but also being sure not to interrupt, which can feel invalidating. Give signs that you're listening, acknowledge their feelings, and make them feel heard.

Plan date nights regularly

What couple doesn't need a solid date night, right? But if quality time is the primary way your partner recognizes affection, making those date nights a set part of your schedules is key. It gives them something to look forward to and feel like you're prioritizing spending time with them.

Plan staycations

It's always nice to have something to look forward to—and it doesn't always have to be anything extravagant. Beyond just the date nights, Chapman suggests planning a staycation every now and then to do something a little special and offer a more extended break to your routine that allows you to spend some really dedicated time together.

Avoid canceling plans

People whose primary love language is quality time will feel particularly hurt by canceled or postponed plans, says Chapman. That's because they see the time you spend with them as a sign of your love, so when you cancel or pass on spending time with them, they may take it as a sign that you're withholding affection or aren't as into them.

Of course, plans inevitably fall through sometimes, and everyone needs time to themselves every now and then. If you need to cancel plans or need more alone time in your relationship , make sure you let them know in a way that reinforces how much you love spending time with them and are looking forward to your next planned event together.

Have a daily ritual

Maybe it's taking a walk together after dinner, which Chapman recommends, or you have a hobby you both enjoy like journaling or playing music. Finding time to do something like that together every day , even if it's just 15 minutes, can go a long way for someone who has quality time as a love language.

Go to bed at the same time

If schedules allow, if you live with your partner, Chapman also suggests going to bed at the same time. Not only are you ending the day next to each other, but you can have some time together to connect before you say good night.

RELATED: Your Zodiac Sign's Love Language, From An Astrologer

What is your love language?

But how do you know what your love language is? Here's a simple test to help you learn how you give and receive love.

The takeaway

While there is no foolproof way to perfectly maintain a relationship , understanding the love language of your partner, as well as how you like to give and receive love, can go a long way toward keeping the two of you content and connected. So, if you think you or your partner might just be speaking the language of quality time, schedule that date night soon and enjoy every moment.

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lovelanguagestest.org

Quality Time Love Language Explained

Quality time is one of the five love languages, as defined by Gary Chapman, a marriage counselor and author. It refers to showing love and affection by spending dedicated time together and giving each other undivided attention. Quality time is characterized by deepening connections through shared activities, meaningful conversations, and being fully present with each other. It is considered an important love language in relationships , as it helps to foster intimacy, build trust, and strengthen the bond between partners.

Table of Contents

Key Takeaways:

  • Quality time is a love language that involves spending dedicated time together and giving each other undivided attention.
  • It is characterized by deepening connections, meaningful conversations, and being fully present with each other.
  • Quality time helps foster intimacy, build trust, and strengthen the bond between partners.

Signs Your Love Language is Quality Time

Understanding your love language is crucial for building a strong and fulfilling relationship. If quality time is your primary love language, there are certain signs that indicate it. Knowing these signs can help you navigate your relationships and ensure your emotional needs are being met.

Characteristics of Quality Time Love Language

People whose love language is quality time value spending meaningful moments with their partner. Here are some common characteristics of the quality time love language:

  • Feeling lonely without enough time: If quality time is your love language, you may feel a sense of loneliness or emotional disconnection when you don’t spend enough time with your partner.
  • Emphasizing time spent together: You prioritize quality time and place a high level of importance on sharing experiences and creating memories with your loved one.
  • Getting upset when lacking quality time: A lack of quality time can lead to feelings of frustration, disappointment, or even emotional distance in your relationship.
  • Connection between quality time and intimacy: Quality time plays a significant role in your sexual intimacy, and you may feel turned off or less connected when you don’t have enough quality time with your partner.

By recognizing these characteristics within yourself, you can better understand your love language and communicate your needs to your partner.

“Quality time is a love language that thrives on shared moments, undivided attention, and engaged conversations.”

Ways to Show Love Through Quality Time

Now that you know your love language is quality time, it’s essential to explore ways to express your love through this language. Here are some suggestions:

  • Create intentional moments: Make a conscious effort to plan special activities or dates that allow you to spend quality time together.
  • Avoid distractions: During your dedicated quality time, put away phones, turn off the TV, and eliminate any distractions that may interrupt your connection.
  • Engaged conversation: Practice active listening, maintain eye contact , and show genuine interest in your partner’s thoughts and feelings during your quality time together.
  • Shared experiences: Engage in activities that both of you enjoy, creating shared experiences and memories that deepen your bond.

Expressing your love through quality time helps build emotional intimacy and strengthens the connection between you and your partner.

Signs Your Love Language is Quality Time

By recognizing the signs of quality time as your love language and actively showing love through dedicated time and attention, you can nourish your relationship and foster a deep sense of connection.

How to Express Love Through Quality Time

Expressing love through quality time is a powerful way to strengthen and nurture your relationship. By prioritizing quality time, you can create a deeper emotional connection with your partner and enhance your bond . Here are some tips for practicing quality time as a love language :

1. **Be intentional**: Make a conscious effort to spend meaningful time together. Plan activities that both of you enjoy, such as cooking a meal together, taking a scenic walk, or engaging in shared hobbies. By investing time in these shared experiences, you can demonstrate your love and care.

2. **Avoid distractions**: In order to fully connect with your partner, it is essential to create opportunities for uninterrupted quality time. Put away your phones, turn off the TV, and minimize external distractions. This will allow you to focus on each other and deepen your connection.

3. **Plan dedicated time**: Schedule regular date nights or staycations to prioritize quality time. This dedicated time will provide an opportunity to bond and strengthen your relationship . Use this time to engage in meaningful conversations, express your feelings, and create cherished memories together.

4. **Practice active listening**: One of the key ways to show love through quality time is to actively listen to your partner. Maintain eye contact, show genuine interest, and validate their thoughts and feelings. By giving your undivided attention, you demonstrate that their presence and emotions truly matter to you.

By following these tips and making quality time a priority in your relationship, you can improve your connection, foster intimacy, and enhance the love you share. Quality time is a powerful love language that has the ability to transform relationships and create lasting memories.

What is quality time as a love language?

Quality time as a love language refers to showing love and affection by spending dedicated time together and giving each other undivided attention. It involves deepening connections through shared activities, meaningful conversations, and being fully present with each other.

How can I understand quality time as a love language?

Understanding quality time as a love language involves recognizing its importance in relationships, as it helps foster intimacy, build trust, and strengthen the bond between partners. It requires prioritizing time spent together, avoiding distractions, and making meaningful connections through engaged conversation and shared experiences.

Why is quality time important in relationships?

Quality time is important in relationships because it helps to nurture emotional intimacy, build a stronger connection, and create meaningful memories together. It allows partners to deep dive into each other’s lives, share experiences, and strengthen their bond through undivided attention and engaged conversation.

What are some ways to show love through quality time?

There are several ways to show love through quality time , including intentionally spending meaningful time together, such as having meals together, going for walks, or engaging in shared hobbies. It also involves creating opportunities for uninterrupted quality time by avoiding distractions, such as putting away phones or turning off the TV, and planning regular date nights or staycations to prioritize quality time and provide dedicated time for connection and bonding.

How can I improve my relationships through quality time?

To improve relationships through quality time, it is important to prioritize dedicated time together, actively listen to your partner, maintain eye contact, and show genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings. By practicing these habits, you can strengthen the emotional connection, nurture a deeper sense of intimacy, and build a stronger bond with your partner.

What are the characteristics of the quality time love language?

The characteristics of the quality time love language include feeling lonely when not spending enough time with your partner, placing a high importance on spending time together, getting upset or feeling disconnected when lacking quality time, and even feeling turned off sexually when there is a lack of quality time. People who prioritize quality time love language value engaged conversation, active listening, and sharing experiences as a way of connecting emotionally.

How can I practice quality time as a love language?

You can practice quality time as a love language by making an effort to intentionally spend meaningful time together, avoiding distractions during your time together, and making your time together meaningful and undivided. This can include engaging in shared activities, having deep conversations, and actively listening to your partner’s thoughts and feelings. Regular date nights or staycations can also be helpful in providing dedicated time for connection and bonding.

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quality time love language essay

What the Quality Time Love Language Means - And How It Can Improve Your Relationship

  • Love Languages
  • Personality & Compatibility

The age-old adage “absence makes the heart grow fonder” falls incredibly flat within the quality time love language. 

In fact, I imagine those who use quality time to communicate love find that phrase an embarrassing copout. The quality time love language – one of Gary Chapman's five love languages – is ultimately about spending uninterrupted and distraction-free time together. 

It’s friendship in its purest form, complete with a mindful presence. 

Quality time means being there with someone else with no pretense, just you. Quality time means showing your true face during a round of cards or being willing to show up as less-than-perfect in the kitchen. Quality time, when done right, can mean actual emotional vulnerability that crosses bridges and deeply binds two people together. 

Where you can give a gift without meaning, share a touch without thought, or spout well-rehearsed niceties, quality time has the potential to drill through defenses and reveal the core of your counterpart - or you!

Quality Time Basics

Spending quality time with someone can look wildly different from person to person while keeping with the same main idea. Some people love hikes and outdoor travels, others prefer road trips to random destinations, while still others enjoy the simplicity of cooking together in the kitchen.

The important aspect of this love language is sharing an experience, side-by-side. 

No predetermined words or actions needed. 

Show up whole-heartedly and authentically in your time with someone who prefers the quality time love language. Consistently doing so builds up a bank of positive experiences which naturally grows a relationship. 

While simply showing up sounds super easy, it takes a lot of bravery and mindfulness to be 100% present and completely genuine. The people I know who prefer quality time as their love language make it a point to be honest in their conversations, even if it’s difficult. 

They also value engagement. I know a person who does things like place their phone in their empty shoes when entering someone else’s home or feels pretty perturbed when their spouse looks at IMDB during a movie… totally not talking from personal experience or anything. 

Ways to Use Quality Time in Your Relationship

Whether quality time is your official love language or lower on the list, spending quality time is a fantastic way to improve your relationship. 

Pay attention to what your counterpart talks about and enjoys. If your coworker mentions they love a certain band, look up that band. Bonus points if you can rock out to their favorite song! Don’t like their music? Focus instead on appreciating it as a way to know them better. They’ll be grateful to be seen as they are rather than ragged on for their musical taste. 

Surprising to me was just how much the quality-time-preferring-people in my life love to go to the movies! I would rather do something else on a date – go dancing, take a walk, anything where we can talk since my primary love language is words of affirmation. However, going to the movie theater is a fantastic date for someone who loves quality time. You get to experience a new story, a character’s transformation, literally side-by-side. 

Another fabulous use of quality time involves playing games together! Whether your games need technology to run or only a few playing cards, spending your quality time in this way encourages problem-solving and team-building.

The Insider Scoop

My husband’s love language is quality time. And his favorite memories of us together involve playing video games. Once he got super sick and I may or may not have also called in “sick” (terrible, I know!) and played a video game with him. Now, this was pre-kids, so we played all the live-long day. On another occasion, while he fretfully waited for some heavy news, we played through the same short game multiple times while guzzling pizza and ice cream. 

My motivation in both of these circumstances was to simply help distract him from less-than-ideal circumstances. And those times ended up being his favorite memories because all that mattered to him was that we were both completely immersed in the same activity.  

Improvement through Quality Time

My favorite quality time story comes from Transylvania in the 15th century. For a 300 year period of time, any couple contemplating divorce was forced to spend 6 weeks together in a small room. 

And while that sounds horrifying, after the stay they could make and follow through on whatever decision they wished. And in 300 years of this practice, only one couple followed through with their divorce. 

When we’re fully present with someone else, we’re not thinking about ourselves. Selfish impulses and anxious perceptions melt away as we mutually lose ourselves in the same side-by-side activity. 

This mindfulness erases internal barriers and allows deep bonds to form - or be rediscovered. 

My grandfather used to recommend one night of quality time every week for a healthy relationship. Even if you can’t afford to go enjoy a new adventure, sit on the couch and talk, read, somehow engage with one another. 

Long Distance Quality Time

Then… what happens when you and your bestie are separated by distance? 

Long-distance relationships are incredibly difficult, but I think it’s the hardest on those who prefer the quality time or physical touch love languages. 

But not all is lost! 

Video chatting isn’t your only option. 

You can simultaneously read a book, or listen to an audiobook chapter by chapter, discussing it as you go. 

Send a journal back and forth, like passing notes. Sure, texting is faster, but this way you’re building on the same pages. It’s a literal interpretation of engagement in the same space. Add to each other’s drawings, finish the other person’s story, reference back to that joke on page 3. Build a physical bank of experiences with a traveling notebook. 

There are also products for quality time people! There are night lights that come in twos and light up when the counterpart is touched. It’s pretty small as far as quality time goes, but if you are creative and dedicated, there are certainly ways to employ the quality time love language while loving long-distance. 

Alright quality time people, what is the best part about the quality time love language? Share your experience in the comments below.

Kim Jacobson Kim spends her time as a freelance content marketing writer and indie author. Her focus is on empowering others to make healthy choices, and personality theory plays a large role in that calling. What else would you expect from an ENFP? She lives in the mountains with her ISFJ husband and two incredible kiddos.

A couple wrapped in a blanket together.

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Quality Time Love Language: A Complete Guide

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couple spending quality time together sitting by a stream

We often hear the words “quality time,” but what does that expression really mean? 

It’s more than just a hollow catchphrase, and actually describes time spent together without distraction. 

Some people might feel that hanging out together is enough, but if you’re both on your phones instead of paying full attention to one another, then that isn’t quality time – it’s just being in the same space.

And that won’t cut it.

If you and your partner have realized that quality time comes top on one (or both) of your five love languages list, then that’s great!

There are tons of things the two of you can do together to strengthen and celebrate your relationship.

What Does It Mean If Quality Time Is My Love Language?

Quality time as a love language means that you enjoy spending one-on-one time with the person you love.

Maybe you enjoy doing projects together, or you like to spend evenings watching horrible reality TV shows to try to anticipate which train wreck will explode first.

Whatever it is that the two of you do together, you need it to be dedicated and genuine. This means real conversations, and engaging experiences.

If you’re outdoorsy types, you might enjoy hiking or canoeing together, or even foraging for tasty mushrooms.

Weekend camping trips might be high on your list of priorities, as you get uninterrupted time together where you can roast marshmallows and make up new names and stories about the constellations above.

When you don’t get proper, engaged alone time with your beloved, you might feel neglected and unappreciated.

After all, if they don’t put in the time and effort to show you that you’re a priority to them, then you’ll feel that you aren’t a priority at all. 

If you find that time spent with your partner results in them being distracted or otherwise engaged, talk to them about it.

Your partner might not speak the same primary love language as you do, and it might not even occur to them that not being fully present and engaged is hurtful to you. 

Hey, if they haven’t done the love languages quiz yet, that’s something you can do with them.

Load up the quiz and ask them the questions, then compare notes!

You’ll learn more about each other in the process, and have a better idea how to express your love to each other properly.

How To Express Care If This Is Your Partner’s Love Language

If your partner has quality time as a love language, be genuine and deliberate with the time you spend with them. 

You can start by setting aside a block of time for them, like date night, and making sure you hold that commitment.

Sure, life happens and you might have to cancel now and then, but making a habit of being unavailable to them when you said you’d spend time together will make them feel like they’re not a priority in your life.

Talk to your partner and find out when would be a perfect time for the two of you to get together, and clear your schedule for a few hours.

Don’t check your phone; don’t allow any other distractions to seep in. This time is for the two of you, and that’s it.

Bonus points if you plan some wonderful things for the two of you to do together, whether it’s on your own, or with their help. 

The key here is to make sure that you set aside this time for the two of you, and stick to your plans.

As mentioned earlier, the best way to ensure that you’ll hurt the one you love is to make them feel like they’re being taken for granted.

If you make a habit of breaking plans with them because something more important came along, or you forgot, or you fell asleep, they’ll end up feeling like they’re just a piece of furniture. Like they don’t exist unless it’s convenient to you… and that’s an awful feeling.

Examples Of Quality Time

Just about any activity can fall under the “quality time” banner: what makes it special is that the two of you are doing these things together.

With this love language, it’s the intention behind the action, not the action itself that matters.

Since spending time together can take so many different forms, sit down and brainstorm some fun, interesting, and engaging things that the two of you can do together.

Sure, we all have individual interests, but there’s undoubtedly some crossover, right? 

Here are a few ideas that can get the ball rolling:

Learn a new language together. This could be just for fun, or in preparation for a trip that you plan on taking in the near future.

Not only will this be a great way of spending quality time together, you’ll learn the language more quickly by practicing it together.

Start a creative project. Is there something you’ve always wanted to build, but you’ve either been hesitant to start, or you’d need an extra set of hands to do it? Well, there’s no time like the present!

Plant a garden, build a bookcase, work on a 10,000-piece puzzle. Whatever piques your combined interests, set time aside to work on it at least twice a week, and dive in!

Cook together. Even if one of you could burn water and can’t tell garam masala from graham crackers, cooking and playing together in the kitchen is a great way to speak your quality time love language.

If neither of you can cook, this is a great way to learn! You could even start by getting meal prep boxes delivered to your place: they only require heat and assembly, so you’ll learn new skills and get to eat delicious food. That’s a win-win!

Take a mini road trip. You might not have the means (or the time off work) to travel thousands of miles together, but you can take a weekend road trip somewhere awesome.

Choose a destination that’s a few hours or a day’s drive away, pack some snacks and great tunes, and off you go. 

Bonus points if you select somewhere ridiculous, like a statue of the world’s biggest turnip, or a heritage museum full of old wrenches.

Be sure to pick up a piece of memorabilia while you’re at it, because you have to have a physical reminder of this delightful travesty.

More ideas can be found in our article: 100 Hobbies For Couples To Do Together: The Ultimate List!

Try To Communicate About Your Needs

If quality time is your love language, it is vital that you make it known to your partner. Honest and open communication is one of the most important things in any relationship.

If you feel that the time you’re spending with your partner isn’t fulfilling to you, either because they’re not fully present, or you’re not doing things together that you both enjoy, then it’s a good idea to talk about that.

You can let them know how you feel, and ask their input about how they’re feeling about the situation in turn.

It could be something as simple as their own interests have veered off in a different direction and they would rather do something else together, but they don’t want to let you down.

People (and couples) can often get set in their ways, and if one partner’s interests shift, there’s the possibility of a disconnect.

For example, if a couple has been very homebound and sedentary, and one partner decides to take up running but the other one isn’t interested, that can cut down on quality time together.

In a situation like this, the two of you can find a happy middle ground with activities that you can both enjoy.

If they’re the one who’s into running and you’re not into it, maybe you can take walks or bike rides together instead. That way, there’s still physical activity, but not as intense.

And in turn, if you feel more comfortable at home, you can find something new that you can do indoors together. Like one of the joint projects or pursuits mentioned above.

Hey, you can even try something that melds the two, like a Wii game: that way you’re both active, but in the comfort of your own home.

It’s win-win! Quality time is maintained, while making sure both partners feel fulfilled.

Ways For Quality Time Lovers To Deepen Connections

Quality time means just that: quality. So put down your phone. Seriously, start with that.

Most of us are absolutely tied to our devices, which puts a massive damper on our interpersonal relationships.

Unless you’re checking your phone every few minutes because a family member is in hospital and you’re waiting for updates, there’s nothing that can’t wait a couple of hours. 

Whether you’re having a special movie date night with your partner, or you’re out at brunch together, don’t even look at your phone.

In fact, if at all possible, turn it off, or don’t have it anywhere near you.

You’re aiming to spend time together without distractions, and constantly checking messages, emails, and Twitter updates isn’t the way to do that.

Some Fun Gift/Togetherness Ideas

Since quality time together can encompass so many different pursuits, you have a huge wealth of possibilities when it comes to gift ideas.

Start by sitting down together and making a list of all the things you enjoy doing together, and rank them on a scale from “super awesome” to “meh”.

That will give you a great leaping-off point for gifts, projects, etc., that will mean something to whichever of you has quality time as a primary love language.

Museum Membership If you two love history and culture, consider getting a membership to a museum that you both really enjoy.

You’ll get invitations to special events and exclusive exhibits, and there are often members-only hours so you can enjoy the space without being swamped by hordes of other visitors.

Wine and Cheese Club: Are you both foodies? Consider subscribing to a monthly wine and cheese tasting club.

This is ideal for date nights, as you can unbox the crate together and then ooh and ahh over the bevvies and snacks inside.

If you find that you really enjoy it, you could end up taking a sommelier course together. Before you know it, you’ll be starting your own vineyard. 

Board Games: This may seem cheesy, but our world has become so techy and digital that having some analog fun with some board games can be a lot of fun.

Collect a few different ones, and alternate between them to keep things interesting. Some vintage ones are especially fun, and there are hundreds (if not thousands) to choose from.

Quality time together is incredibly special, and worth dedicating ourselves to without distraction.

We choose our partners because of who they are, and how much we love them, and we really never know how much time we have together.

This is one of many reasons why quality time with the ones we love is so important.

The next time you find yourself being distracted when you’re supposed to be spending time with your partner, ask yourself whether that distraction is really worth alienating or upsetting the one you love.

Similarly, if your partner is the one who’s being distracted instead of being present with you, ask them that question, but gently.

Not aggressively or cruelly. But just to bring their awareness back to here, and now, with you.

They’re the most important person in your world, as you are in theirs.

So let’s all give our loved ones the care and attention they deserve. They’re certain to reciprocate, and we’ll all appreciate the time we have together.

More in this series:

  • Words Of Affirmation Love Language
  • Acts Of Service Love Language
  • Receiving Gifts Love Language
  • Physical Touch Love Language

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About The Author

quality time love language essay

Catherine Winter is an herbalist, INTJ empath, narcissistic abuse survivor, and PTSD warrior currently based in Quebec's Laurentian mountains. In an informal role as confidant and guide, Catherine has helped countless people work through difficult times in their lives and relationships, including divorce, ageing and death journeys, grief, abuse, and trauma recovery, as they navigate their individual paths towards healing and personal peace.

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Quality Time Love Language: The Definitive Guide (2024)

Love is all about forming healthy and strong relationships with the people we love. To do this, one must be fluent in speaking at least one of the five love languages. 

One of which is the Quality Time love language, where expressing and receiving love is all about the time we spend with our loved ones. 

What is Quality Time?

Examples of quality time love language, key factors of quality time, detecting quality time love language, your love language is quality time, your partner love language is quality time, your child love language is quality time, list of quality time ideas.

It is easy to assume that giving love is all about gifts and physical touches, but in reality, these are just a few of the things we can do for the people we love. Gary Chapman identified five ways of expressing and receiving love and these are called the love languages. 

One of these is the Quality Time love language. It’s cheaper than gifts and can create the same feeling of togetherness as physical touches. In this love language quality time may be defined as providing undivided attention to your partner or your kid. 

Spending time with them can help form deeper connections and stronger attachments. However, you must understand that just because you are sitting close to one another doesn’t mean that you are already spending quality time together. 

It shouldn’t be hard or complicated. Just remember that being connected means treasuring your time together and making efforts to make your time memorable.

For those who speak this love language, quality time means taking the time to create memories together and cherishing the time you have with one another. Of all the love languages quality time may be the one that’s easiest to take for granted. 

We usually think that just because we are providing the things that they need and occasionally giving them physical touches or saying nice words to them, we are already making them feel loved. 

It may be the case for some, but remember that there are people who would prefer spending quality time together over anything else. In spending quality time relationships can become stronger as you are creating a sense of togetherness and unitedness. 

You can simply do this by spending more time in bed with your partner before going out for a run. Take the time to make breakfast with them and don’t just sit there waiting for the food to arrive. 

You can even just sit together on the porch while drinking your coffee and taking the time to appreciate nature. You see, it doesn’t have to be complicated. As long as you’re genuinely trying to spend time together, then you’re already making your loved one feel special. 

Quality time may seem like an easy love language to speak, and it’s true. However, you also need to take the time to know more about it. 

Learn about its common misconceptions, and identify the things you can do to get around them. It may help you avoid misunderstandings and miscommunications with your loved ones.

Focus on Quality, Not Quantity

If you think that quality time in a relationship requires a lot of time and effort, then you might want to think again. Most often than not, it’s the quality of the time you spent together and not really about the amount of time. 

What’s the use of spending a whole day with your partner or kid if you’re still thinking about your work? What’s the use of going on a date with them if you’re still busy with your phone? 

You cannot give all your attention to them because you’re preoccupied with other things. But think about when you’re just chilling on the sofa on a typical day and just talking about random stuff you can think about. It may sound casual and unintentional, but it’s even more meaningful than the first two examples. 

Why? Because here, you’re fully invested in your partner or your kid. You’re discovering new things about them, and they’re learning new things about you. Take note that spending quality time may be as commonplace as it can be because it doesn’t have to be complicated. Instead of eating out with your friends on a weekend, stay with your partner instead. 

Cook your dinner together. Talk about each other’s day while eating. Wash the dishes together while laughing about random stuff. You see, these things don’t require too much of your time but you’re still making every second count. 

That’s the real importance of quality time in a relationship – creating deeper and meaningful connections.

Keep The Technology Away

If you’re spending quality time together, make sure that your full attention is on your partner or your kid. Remember that there is a time for work, a time for technology, and a special time for your loved ones. 

Do not make them feel like they are just options and that they don’t deserve your full attention by multitasking or focusing on other things. If you are with your loved ones, keep your phone away and do not get distracted by social media. 

This is even more important if your loved ones’ love language is quality time. They won’t appreciate the time you allot for them if you’re too busy or distracted by other things. 

Instead, they would feel hurt and they would think that they are not important or special enough. Making time for them may make them feel special, but it’s the memories you’re making together during that time that matters to them.

Avoid Canceling Plans

People who speak this love language enjoy making plans with their loved ones. They look forward to the time when they will finally have their loved ones to themselves and to make new memories with them. 

So, if the plans you made together get canceled or are postponed, they will feel heartbroken. Sometimes emergencies or sudden commitments are inevitable, and it’s okay. Just make sure to let your partner or kid know ahead of time that your plans will be canceled. 

You can reassure them that you can still go on with the plans, but it will have to be moved to a later day. Say it with kindness and give them the reassurance that they need. Be patient with them, and don’t get upset if they seem hurt by the sudden cancellation. 

Quality time is their love language, after all, and it would make them feel less important if their loved ones can’t make time for them. If this is the case, remind them how much you love spending time with them, and make sure to avoid other cancellations.

Don’t Complain

Sometimes, making time for someone can be hard. You have other commitments, you have work, and you have other important people you also need to make time for. It can be even harder if this is not your primary love language. 

You might feel like your partner or kid is being too demanding for wanting to spend quality time with you. Yes, it can be hard at times, but just think about what it would make them feel if you complain about the time you’re spending with them. 

If you truly want to create deeper connections with your loved ones, take even a small amount of time to be with them. For people who speak the love language of quality time, it doesn’t matter whether you only spare a few minutes or spend a whole day with them. 

What’s important is you’re trying to make time and that you are truly present whenever you’re with your loved ones.

Detecting the love language of quality time can’t be that hard. You see, people who speak this love language do not give much value to gifts, words, or physical touches. They like it, yes, and they appreciate all those things. 

But to make their hearts full, it’s the time you spend with them that truly matters. They want undivided attention. If you’re with them and you’re too busy or distracted by other things like work or social media, you’ll see that they are hurt and upset. 

They like making memories, and the best way to do it is by spending quality time with you. Even if you are both busy, they will surely make time for you. If your schedule is too hectic and can’t make it to lunch, they’ll probably go to your office and bring you food just so you can still eat together. 

They want meaningful conversations where you’ll both learn new things about each other. Even the most usual tasks are enjoyable for them as long as they are doing it with you. It can be going to the grocery, cooking meals, or even washing the dishes. 

You see, the key takeaway here is the fact that they are happier and more satisfied with your relationship if you make time for each other. 

Do you treasure your time with your loved ones more than anything else? Then perhaps quality time is your primary love language. You don’t need fancy gifts nor any other assurance that your loved ones cherish you as long as they make time for you. 

If you want deeper connections and a stronger relationship with your loved ones, don’t hesitate to let them know that time is the most important thing for you. Not being vocal enough about your wants and needs can cause problems in any relationship. 

You see, of all the love languages quality time problems may not be the easiest to mend, because a lost time can no longer be recovered. 

Hence, to avoid misunderstandings, tell your loved ones how to spend quality time with you. Show them exactly how to make memories during the time you have together no matter how long or short it is.

How to Receive Quality Time?

If you are someone who speaks the quality time love language, you can receive love in the most common ways. Did your partner drink his coffee beside you today? Or perhaps your kid sat next to you while he was playing with his toy? 

Then, you are already receiving the quality time love language. Additionally, you don’t have to worry about not receiving this love language if you or your loved ones are all busy. 

Unlike what other people believe, quality time doesn’t have to be spent on an exotic island, on a holiday, or on vacation leave. You can receive it even when you’re in your pajamas or staying at home. 

You see, the quality time meaning is even more precious when you stop trying so hard to get it. Just go on with your daily life, but this time, make sure to do it more often with your loved ones. 

You probably feel that your partner wanted to spend more time with you. If quality time love language is not what you speak, don’t be scared and stop worrying. There are so many things you can still do for your partner. 

After all, spending quality time in relationships doesn’t have to be hard. Even if you’re busy and you feel like you cannot find the time, you can just do simple things together and that would already mean a lot to your partner. 

If you know your love language, you can also incorporate it with quality time. Receiving gifts is your love language? Then buy tickets for a concert this weekend. Do you love physical touches? 

Stay in bed for a few more minutes and cuddle with your partner before going to work. The truth is, you can speak any of the five love languages and still give quality time to your partner.

How to Give Quality Time to Your Partner?

There are lots of love language quality time ideas you can try to make your partner feel special. You see, the quality time definition doesn’t end with vacations and getaways. Of course, you can also do that. 

But if you don’t have enough time to do a few days of vacation, there are still other simple things to try. For example, quality time with husband can be done by watching his favorite sports with him.

Or for a wife, you can assist when she’s baking her favorite cake or cookies. You can spend quality time with spouse on the most mundane things on a typical day. 

You just have to see it as it is, and you’ll realize that a time for loving is any time spent with your partner. 

Love is a universal language, and even kids have their way of communicating it. Remember, it’s not just the grownups who need to receive love. Kids are even more in need of receiving love and feeling special because they are still developing. 

Also, no need to stress because it’s even easier to detect if your kid’s love language is quality time. You’ll see it based on how they use the time they have with you or how often they ask for more quality time. 

What’s even better is that kids are easier to please. As long as you prioritize spending time with them, no matter what you do together, they will surely appreciate it. 

Quality Time for Kids

The best thing about kids is that they are very appreciative of our efforts as long as we are trying our best to speak their love language. There are a lot of simple things you can do for them in their daily lives that do not require expensive things. 

Just a few minutes or hours of your time. For example, if they are playing with their favorite toy, sit with them and play together. Or if they are asking for food, ask them to help you with the preparations. 

If you have a day off, spend the day in an amusement park and teach them how to make happy memories. Do a project together. Whatever you decide to do together with your kid, make sure to be fully present. They will truly appreciate it more. 

The best thing about this love language is that it’s typically done day by day. But the thing is, people who don’t speak this love language don’t really see it as it is. No worries, because here are some quality time ideas you won’t surely miss.

For Partners

  • Spare at least 15 minutes in bed to cuddle with your partner before preparing for work.
  • Prepare or cook your meals together.
  • Do your hobbies together as much as possible. If your partner loves to do meditation and you like to read, do them together. You can also try doing your partner’s hobby.
  • Plan a weekend getaway and make sure to refrain from using your phone.
  • Get a reservation at that restaurant your partner always wanted to try and treat him or her on a special date.
  • Go on a walk together on a typical day and just enjoy the scenery.
  • Drink your coffee or any of your favorite drinks together and just talk about random stuff. Never forget to engage in meaningful conversations whenever you’re with your partner.
  • Do active sports together like going to the gym, hiking, swimming, etc.
  • Do projects together. It can be a house renovation or planning a business. Anything that will help you grow together as one.
  • Never forget to make eye contact with your partner. Whatever it is you’re doing, or no matter how busy you are with your tasks, always look at your partner in his or her eyes. It means you’re present in the moment, and it will create more meaningful interactions.
  • Try new things together like baking, sewing, or even playing a new sport. 
  • Always be present when your kid is talking to you and telling you stories. Show them that you are interested in what they are talking about by engaging in conversations.
  • Plan a trip and enjoy the unfamiliar places with your kid. Research about the place ahead of time so you can talk to them about it, and plan fun activities you can do together while you’re there.
  • Do household chores together like cooking, washing the dishes, cleaning the house, or doing the laundry. You’re not only teaching them to be responsible, but you’re also showing them that chores can be fun too as long as you’re doing them together.
  • Figure out your kid’s favorite hobby and take interest in them. Practice, if you must, so your child will feel special knowing that you’re trying your best to spend quality time with them.
  • Help your kid with his or her homework or school projects.
  • Plan a family game night. Play with board games or any interactive games with your kid.
  • Watch their favorite movie or tv shows with them and ask questions about them to start a conversation.
  • Laugh together. Tell them funny jokes, and let them say some jokes, too.
  • Tuck them in at night and read them a story. If they’re too old for that, make a ritual you can do together before going to bed. It can be watching one to two episodes of their favorite shows, or just drinking milk or hot choco together.

For Yourself

  • Plan a much-needed vacation where you can take a break from your stressors. Or just plan a weekend getaway where you can have some me-time.
  • Write a to-do list, and tick them off one by one.
  • Take yourself out on a date. It doesn’t have to be fancy. You can just go to your favorite restaurant and eat your favorite meal, or maybe you can just go to your local coffee shop and have a cup while relaxing.
  • Practice yoga and meditation. It is very helpful in being more mindful and in building positive habits.
  • Take the time to enjoy nature. Take a walk in the park. Go hiking. Walk around the neighborhood. Or you can just sit on the front porch.
  • Schedule a self-care routine at least a few days a week. You’re not only pampering yourself, but you’re also giving yourself much-needed relaxation.
  • Find activities that are fun to do alone. It can be a hobby of yours or a newly discovered interesting activity.
  • Avoid overcommitting to other people. Just commit to gatherings or activities that you know you can handle to avoid exhaustion from your social life.
  • Prioritize your health by sleeping enough hours and exercising daily. 
  • Allot a mental health day for yourself. You can watch a movie, declutter your space, or do nothing at all. What’s important is you’re taking a break from social media or impending deadlines.

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Literarily My Way

Using Books to Engage, Inspire, Connect & Learn

quality time love language essay

A Forever Love: Love Language-Quality Time

quality time love language essay

The Inspiration

quality time love language essay

On July 1, 2017 my first cousin married the love of her life. On July 30, 2017, less than a month since they had wed, he was tragically killed in a car accident on the way to work. The book I chose as the connection to their treasured relationship is The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman. This blog celebrates their love story journey and the love language they shared, as well as the memories she cherishes.

Their Love Journey

quality time love language essay

Dee and Jeffrey met as neighbors while children. His family later moved away and they were estranged for years. It was not until they were adults that they reconnected. Their friendship grew. Eventually they began dating and soon fell in love. On May 20, 2015, Jeffrey proclaimed his love in a post titled, “My life ,my life, my life in the sunshine…” In June of that year, it was clear that they were in a lasting relationship not to be denied; they were sharing a forever love. As family and friends, some of us realized it through Facebook posts and pictures; while those who saw her daily saw it bloom in real time.

quality time love language essay

During the summer of 2016, Jeffrey proposed to Dee. I love her account of the day. She shares that part of the journey by sharing the following with us in August of 2018, two years after the proposal and a little over a year after he passed away.

quality time love language essay

As someone who believes in signs, I find her shared anecdote as very, romantic. But even if I did not believe in signs, I love her shared moments and would still find the romanticism in this special proposal.

quality time love language essay

I was first introduced to this book while on a double dinner date with some of our best friends, Brad and Cindy. We were talking about relationships and the magic (and sometimes lack of) of relationships standing the test of time. She mentioned the book of which at that time I was not familiar. On our way home, I had my husband stop at a Barnes and Nobles so that I could purchase the book. Since then I’ve purchased several others within the series.

The 5 Love Languages

quality time love language essay

In the book, Gary Chapman talks about the five love languages, noting that everyone has a dominant language that if “spoken,” “shown” and or demonstrated, enhances the relationship. As I followed Dee and Jeffrey’s relationship from 1,106.6 miles away it became clear to me that they shared the love of quality time.

Their Shared Dominant Love Language: Quality Time

From that day in 2015 when they rekindled their relationship, Dee and Jeffrey lived in the moment and prepared for the future–spending time together. All five love languages were present in their lives as a couple, but the most dominant–the primary language was definitely Quality Time. They enjoyed life and each other’s company whether at home, in social gatherings, or traveling on trips. They celebrated life together, enjoying the moment.

quality time love language essay

Dee and Jeffrey’s enchanted love was documented in their pictures, their words and their actions. At their wedding ceremony, during the reception and on their honeymoon, there forever love was celebrated.

quality time love language essay

On July 30, 2017, just 29 days after they were married, Jeffrey was involved in a fatal car accident on his way to work. Living without him has been difficult for my cousin, she continues to grieve but does the best she can to live in the memories. There life living together was cut short, but never their love.

A Feather from Heaven

quality time love language essay

I Celebrate Dee and Jeffrey’s Forever Love

I wasn’t able to attend their wedding and had been in the process of deciding what to send them for a gift, when I received word of losing Jeffrey. It was then that I decided that I would create something for her. It is then that I began “stalking social media” for evidence of their love. In December of that year, I sent her a scrapbook that I made her with a personal letter included. This month as a late Valentine’s day/early Anniversary gift, I created the following video using the video she sent me of her flipping through the book. After the video, you can also see some of her favorite pages and hear their song, You for Me (The Wedding Song) by Johnny Gill

Dee’s Favorite Pages

quality time love language essay

Quality Time Love Language Romance Ideas

  • Actively listen without interrupting
  • Attend a move or play
  • Commit to a weekly or monthly adventure
  • Cook together
  • Couple journal
  • Create a bucket list of quality time activities
  • Cuddle on the couch with a movie
  • Dance together
  • Dine at a new restaurant
  • Engage in conversation
  • Find what you enjoy doing together then do it regularly (i..e. gym, watching movies, wine tasting, visiting museums, walking on the beach, hiking, dining out)
  • Focus, don’t multi-task
  • Garden together
  • Give your UNDIVIDED attention
  • Go on a ride (car, bike,, trolley, scooter, moped, motorcycle) together
  • Go on a spontaneous drive, a scenic drive or go sightseeing
  • Go on a walk and talk
  • Amusement Park
  • Botanical Garden
  • Camping (in the yard, living room, campsite, lawn, porch, beach, etc.)
  • Candlelight dinner
  • Couple’s masage
  • Farmers Market
  • Movie (at cinema, on lawn, porch, in yard, at beach, etc.)
  • National Park
  • Parachuting
  • Rock Climbing
  • Star gazing
  • Whitewater rafting
  • Go to bed at the same time
  • Have quality conversation
  • Hike together
  • Ignore your phone when during 1:1 time
  • Laugh together
  • Listen to music together
  • Maintain eye contact
  • Make new memories together
  • Maximize any time you have, even if it is only 10 minutes
  • Meet for lunch
  • Offer empathy/sympathy, not advice
  • Participate in an activity with mutual friends
  • Beach/Lake Picnic
  • Garden Picnic
  • Park picnic
  • Mountain Picnic
  • Under the Stars
  • Vineyard Picnic
  • Yard Picnic
  • Plan an international night
  • Read a book together and discuss it
  • Read to each other
  • Run errands together
  • Schedule a weekly date night
  • Schedule game night
  • Show an interest in (join in on) the hobbies of your significant other
  • Start a project together
  • Take a class together
  • Take a family vacation
  • Take a day/weekend trip
  • Talk–no phones or social media
  • Volunteer together
  • Watch a game/movie/show with your significant other –no phones
  • Work out together
  • Write each other a poem/love letter/song and read/sing to each other
  • Take a tour
  • Watch the sunrise or sunset
  • Go window shopping

What is your Primary Love Language

AS evident by this post, my cousins shared the same primary love language. All couples do not. Whether they do or do not is not important, what is important is that they can speak the language of the other…that they be multi-lingual. If you are interested in knowing your primary love language consider taking one of these quizzes/tests. You can also find others by doing a search for five love languages quiz or test.

  • Couples and Children’s quiz: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/
  • Singles quiz: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/singles-quiz/
  • Test-What’s your love language?: https://www.psychologies.co.uk/tests/whats-your-love-language.html
  • Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages Assessment: https://www3.canyons.edu/faculty/rafterm/0%200lli%20loveandloss/Day%20Files/Day%201%20Files/5%20Love%20Languages%20Assessment.pdf

Rest In Peace, Jeffrey your Forever Love will Never Die

quality time love language essay

I am an avid reader with a love of books, especially juvenile and young adult books. I am a parent of two readers, one who is a voracious reader and the other a reluctant reader. I have successfully introduced reading into the hearts and lives of non-English speakers, non-readers, struggling, reluctant and passionate readers of all ages. As to my educational and career background, I am an educator. I have been a teacher of children in PK-12th grade. I've taught Spanish, French, English, and English to Language Learners. I have worked as an administrator at elementary, middle and high school, a curriculum coordinator, a textbook consultant, and educational consultant/presenter/instructor.

39 Comments

To my dear cousin Jean,

Thank you so much for this beautiful tribute!!! There are not enough words to express my gratitude. Losing Jeffrey has been so hard and along my journey you have been right there sending articles, books, scrapbooks and words of encouragement. I appreciate them all. I remember after receiving the scrapbook, I called you, no words were said, we just laughed. It really means a lot to me. Thank you again for sharing our story!!! Lots of Love💕

Thank you!!!! You have allowed me to pay tribute to Jeffrey and the love you share. I know that losing him has been difficult. Although I am over 1600 miles away from you, I wanted you to know that I am here to ease what ever pain I can from afar. I am glad that my little surprises and words have helped you through the grieving process and are helping you to not only remember, but to also heal. Again, thank you for allowing me to share your story. Love ya!

I love how you shared their journey so beautifully! Love languages are so interesting to me! Thank you!

Their journey was such a lovely one, making it easy to document and share. I can’t be there with her to spend time with her or to console her when she needs it, this is my way. Their story is one that still gies e smiles when I look at the pictures and/or read about it.

This was so beautiful and touching. It was really sweet of you to do this for them, and great that you shared it with us to be witnesses of their wonderful love story. I got goosebumps when I read about the signs!

Thank you for your commments; a love journey like this is best shared. After I published it, she wrote the first comment of this thread of comments. Since then, she has shared with me other signs that she has received. Talking about goosebumps, tears, amiles and blessings.

What a beautiful love story! So sad it ended too soon but what a blessing for them to have experienced. Thank you for sharing their story. I definitely believe in signs too and that God has a plan in everything that happens. The scrapbook you made is gorgeous! My love language has changed some in the years of my relationship it used to be mainky physical touch, but now after kids it’s mainly quality time and acts of service.

I appreciate your comment. Her story is a heartbreaker yet I like you knew the blessing of their journey is important. After I wrote the blog she shared with me other signs that have shown themselves to her. I know she has trouble believing it right now but I too believe their is a plan. Thank you for your scrapbook compliment. It was originally a wedding gift that because I hadn’t finished it turn into more. Because her grief is evverpresent, I try to do something every few months even if it is as simple as a card or call. The blog and the video were are y two latest attempts to let her know I remember and I care. The video is at https://youtu.be/mYAE275t0EE My primary language has changed over years and depending on my relationship (mother-son, husband, friend, mother-daughter, my mother and me… I notice the language changes.

I love thus tribute to your cousin while my heart is breaking for her. I also love the book about love languages. I have read it when my marriage was breaking up. It did not help in my situation but I did learn from the book.

Thank you for your comment. My cousin’s love is strong and her grief is still so present. I had planned on giving her a wedding scrapbook, but before I could send it, Jeffrey was killed. I refocccused and created the book of her journey. I wrote the blog as a gift this year as well as created the video: https://youtu.be/mYAE275t0EE I too love the love language books. Working on getting my husband to read it.

That was beautiful i personally do not know what it is like to lose the love of my life but to hear what your cousin went through is heartbreaking their love seemed so beautiful and amazing. I hope that she is doing better and became strong enough to move on. I didn’t know him but R.I.P. and sorry for your loss.

I appreciate your commments. Like you, I can’t imagine losing my husband. It has been very difficult for her and her grief is so real. It is a heartbreaking exxperience. As I went through pics on her Facebook pages as well as those on his and their friends and other family members, there love became even more amazing. She is coping; some days are better than others. Thank you for your condolences,

What a beautiful love story. You really get to know your cousin and Jeffrey through this story. Beautiful memories and beautiful tribute to him. My heart breaks for your cousin. I can’t even imagine what she is going through. I do believe in signs. Thanks for sharing this story.

I’m so sorry. My comment should of said my heart breaks for you cousin. I thought I read it properly before I sent it. I wish there was a way to correct it?

Thank you for your comments. They mean a lot to me. I wasn’t able to be there for the wedding or the funeral so this was my way of showing my love…originally with the scrapbook and most recently with the post and video.She has sine shared additional signs that she has received.

I’ve made both of your requested corrections.

Wowww!! So moving. I love all the efforts you put doing the video and scrapbook. Your cousin must be grateful to you for doing this. This is such a sad story and though beautiful at the same time. Thank’s for telling us that story. I will definitely buy the book since I am an avid reader and also in a relationship. We were supposed to get married in September but due to COVID, it’s postponed to next year.

Thank you for the Quality Time love language romance ideas list you put. And I will definitely be looking for the white feather (my dad) 🙂

Thank you again for this lovely post, so much work in this. Marie

I appreciate your comment. Congratulations on your engagement! Because of COVID, you too have had an unexpected journey. I know postponement was a difficult decision, but glad that your journey continues. I believe my cousin is grateful. The first comment in this thread of comments is actually from her. I am appreciative she not only allowed me to share her sad, heartbreaking, yet inspirational story, but also that she liked what I shared. The book is great. I gifted my husband the 5 Love Languages for men. When my kids were in their teen years, I gave them the one for teenagers. There is a 5 Love Languages of Children, that I will put in my daughter’s 1st Year teacher’s basket or in her graduation basket in December when she finishes her Ed.S. Glad you enjoyed the list. I too will look for the white feather from my dad and other loved ones who are no longer with me. Again, thank you.

What a wonderful love story with a terribly sad ending. She was able to experience something that not all of us do.

How amazing of you to chronicle their love for one another. That is such a blessing!

My love language is Acts of Service and Quality Time

It is a heartbreaking story. You are correct; they experienced a love that many will never know. It is the blessing hidden in the cloud. It is the rainbow. My primary love languages are Quality Time and Words of Affirmation.

What a beautiful testament to the love of two people. I have read the 5 Love Languages and it is a fantastic book for any married couple to read. I have given it out to people as well.

Thank you for reading about my cousins’ love and for commenting. I also have also given my husband the one for en and when my children were 19 and 21, I gave them the one for teens. I plan on buying the 5 Love language of Children next. Glad you enjoyed it!

Hi, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just wondering if you get a lot of spam comments? If so how do you prevent it, any plugin or anything you can suggest?

I get so much lately it’s driving me mad so any help is very much appreciated.

Hi, I have to be honest. I am not always sure what is spam and what is not. Although I am responding to all the g, gforg comments as well as other similar messages, as a precaution that they are not fraud and I turned away a true potential subscriber/fan, I am stil checking to see if they are fraudulant/spam. I have submitted some, follow up on some of the sites and emails,, etc…. As noted, not sure what is spam and what is not. I am pursuing recommendations for plugins and other technologies and tech folks. Sorry, I can’t help..

Hi it’s me, I am also visiting this website on a regular basis, this web page is truly fastidious and the viewers are genuinely sharing fastidious thoughts.

Hello again. I am glad you are a regular visitor and that you have been reading multiple posts. I appreciate your comments.

Thank you so much for this fantastic article! It’s sad and joyful at the same time and a wonderful tribute to your cousin and her husband and their love. I’m definitely going to investigate the books, too. You have a wonderful site and I’ll be back to read more.

Thank you for your kind comments. It does go from one end of the continuum to the other. The books are great. The book is great. There are many…for teenagers, children, single, men, etc. Well worth the investment. Please feel free to come back anytime. I have 30+ queued so stay tune for others. Again, thank you.

I’m so sorry about this sudden passing!! I’ve been meaning to read the 5 love languages! Thank you for this post.

Thank you for your condolences, I will make sure to share with my cousin. The book is an easy read. I am sure you will enjoy it. I have several versions: the one for teens, for men and for couples. Thank you for your comment and for reading the post.

This is 9ne 9f the books I always recommend to couples. I teaches you alot about yourself and your partner.

It was recommended to me from one of my good friends while sharing books we should read. I did learn so much from it. I too recommend it often.

Thank you for sharing their beautiful story and the list of “Quality Time Love Language Romance Ideas”. I hope she has found peace. ❤️

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on the story. The video is at https://youtu.be/mYAE275t0EE As to my cousin, she has yet to find peace…still in the grieving process. Love your site. I left a comment and subscribed. Again thank you.

I love the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and read it with my husband a few years ago. It helped us better understand each other and our kids. My love language is acts of service first, then words of affirmation and quality time. Thank you so much for sharing Dee and Jeffery’s heartbreaking story. I’ll keep Dee in my prayers.

Thank you for your comments, but most importantly your prayers for her. Her grief is real! His books are very helpful. I find myself sharing the same three languages that you do. With my family, Words of Affirmation and Quality time are my strongest with act of service very, very, close behind. When it comes to my friends it is probably Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service as the strongest. Again, thank you for checking out their story. If interested, the video celebrating Dee and Jeffrey’s journey is at https://youtu.be/mYAE275t0EE .

Very moving story of their sweet love and Dee’s loss. Thank you for sharing this and reminding us that tomorrow is never promised.

Thank you for your comments. I thought I had responded, but don’t seem to see it so I must have gotten distracted and did not post. I appreciate the time you took to read about Dee’s love journey. And you are totally correct when you say tomorrow is never promised. If that wasn’t loud and clear before the pandemic, it definitely is now.

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  • Relationships

How to Speak Quality Time Love Language in Your Relationship

Hannah Rose

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Although you may already know that one-on-one time is incredibly important within a relationship, you may not realize that quality time is one of the 5 love languages . 

Quality time is often seen as a way to strengthen a relationship. Giving each other your undivided attention can be a great time to communicate, focus on your relationship, and even avoid conflict. 

But when life is busy, how can you protect your quality time to ensure both you and your partner always feel loved? 

Here, we will look at what quality time love language is and simple ways you can dedicate valuable time to each other.

What is quality time love language ?

If quality time is the love language of either you or your partner, you’ll need to be sure that love and affection are demonstrated by dedicating time to just the two of you . 

This might involve scheduling regular date nights or having phone-free evenings to give each other your undivided attention.

Quality time is a common language of love because, by its very nature, it demands that you and your partner make each other feel special. 

By intentionally reserving time away from your children, friends, work, or distractions such as emails or social media, you can focus on your partner and spend quality time reconnecting with each other.

Of course, modern life is busy. Kids, work, grocery shopping, and household chores can all get in the way of carving out quality time. 

However, if you get creative, dedicated, and plan ahead, it’s possible to create quality time out of even the smallest gaps in your agenda.

The benefits of quality time 

Don’t worry if quality time isn’t your primary love language or you feel unsure about which love language you best identify with. 

Reassuringly, there are very few couples who won’t benefit from investing in some quality time together. 

Minimization of distractions

Whether you have been together for decades or are in a relatively new relationship, it can be easy to let other areas of your life take priority over spending time together.

Even if you spend every evening together sitting on the couch, this time may not actually be quality time. 

If you are both sitting scrolling through your phones, checking work emails, or immersed in a TV show, chances are you’re not connected with your partner. By the time you go to bed that night, you may barely have said two words to each other.

Quality time demands that you focus on each other, free from distractions. This is your chance to dedicate all of yourself to your partner and to receive the same in return. – Hannah Rose, Copywriter with a clinical background Click to post

Being mutually present

Simply being together physically on the couch isn’t enough. Setting aside some quality time for the two of you signifies a real investment in your relationship.

Rather than switching on the TV or mindlessly scrolling, talk about how you can dedicate time to each other when you can both be completely present and free from distractions. 

Even the busiest of couples can find space for quality couple time.

Better communication and conflict resolution

Research in the field of relationship psychology suggests that quality time facilitates better communication and conflict resolution. [1] Flood, S., & Genadek, K. R. (2015). Time for each other: work and family constraints among couples. Journal of Marriage and Family , 78 (1), 142–164. https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12255  

When couples dedicate time to understanding each other’s perspectives, they are more likely to find common ground and resolve disagreements amicably.

Improved well-being of both of you

Quality time is not just about exchanging words but about sharing experiences, emotions, and understanding each other’s perspectives. This level of communication fosters a deeper connection and can significantly enhance the well-being of both partners. [2] Raman, C. (2022, July 12). Perceived conversation quality in spontaneous interactions . arXiv.org. https://arxiv.org/abs/2207.05791  

Healthier and more stable relationships

The stability of a relationship is often mirrored in the consistency and quality of communication between partners. 

Quality time acts as a nurturing ground for maintaining and even enhancing this communication. It’s not just about the quantity of words exchanged but the emotional intensity and sincerity behind them. [3] Hidd, V. V., López, E., Centellegher, S., Roberts, S. G. B., Lepri, B., & Dunbar, R. (2023). The stability of transient relationships. Scientific Reports , 13 (1). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-023-32206-2   

This consistent, quality interaction helps in keeping the relationship vibrant and emotionally intense over time.

How can you include quality time in your relationship?

One of the most effective ways to make space for quality time is to plan ahead to enjoy quality time every day. 

At first, you might think this sounds unrealistic, but quality time can be created in the simplest of ways.

quality time love language essay

1. Enjoying dinner at the table together

Sitting together to eat is a great way to reconnect and actively listen to what your partner tells you about their day. 

Active listening means paying attention to what is being said and reacting to it, rather than letting it wash over you. This is a great way to show your partner that you are present with them, and that you care.

Without distractions, you can maintain eye contact and have deeper conversations that help bring you closer to each other whilst you share a meal. 

2. Cultivating a ritual of connection

Consider creating a daily ritual that becomes your sacred time together. It could be as simple as sharing your highs and lows of the day or expressing gratitude for each other before going to sleep. 

These rituals, over time, become the pillars of your relationship, providing stability and a sense of shared purpose.

3. Minding your precious time in bed

Even if you don’t have any other time together that day, spend five minutes chatting or cuddling in bed at the start or end of the day. Ignore your phone and focus on each other. 

If you have struggled to find time for each other, five minutes can be all it takes to recouple, alleviating any worries you might have about your relationship.

4. Walking together

Quality time doesn’t have to involve extravagant plans. Even if you only have 15 minutes together, go for a walk around the block. Walking side by side can feel less intimidating than talking face to face. 

Many people find it easier to talk openly about their feelings whilst walking with their partner. 

During this activity, actively listen to each other and show compassion for any worries or concerns your partner has.

5. Embracing vulnerability

Quality time is an opportunity to be vulnerable with each other. It’s about creating a safe space where you can share your fears, dreams, and insecurities without judgment. 

This vulnerability is what deepens trust and strengthens your bond. It’s about being brave enough to show your true self and to see and accept your partner’s true self in return.

6. Mastering the art of simplicity

Quality time is often found in the simplest moments. It’s not about grand gestures or elaborate plans but about finding beauty and connection in the ordinary. 

Sometimes, the most profound conversations and moments of connection happen over a cup of coffee or while watching the sunrise together. 

It’s about being fully present in those ordinary moments and transforming them into something extraordinary.

7. The power of unspoken communication

Sometimes, sitting in silence, holding hands, or simply being in each other’s presence can be incredibly powerful. 

Learn to appreciate and understand the language of silence and presence. It’s in these quiet moments that you often find the deepest connection.

8. The dance of independence and togetherness

While quality time together is crucial, it’s also important to respect and encourage each other’s need for individual space and growth. 

A healthy relationship is like a dance between independence and togetherness. Find a rhythm that allows you both to grow individually and as a couple. This balance is key to a fulfilling and lasting relationship.

Why talk to a mental health professional

Love languages are a wonderful tool for understanding how we give and receive affection, but they’re just one piece of the complex puzzle of relationships.  

Beyond knowing whether you prefer quality time or acts of service, there’s a deeper layer of personal growth and emotional well-being that significantly impacts how we connect with others. 

This is where talking to a mental health professional on Calmerry can be incredibly valuable.

  • A mental health professional can guide you through a journey of self-discovery, helping you understand your needs, desires, and patterns in relationships. 
  • You will learn strategies to manage stress and anxiety , allowing you to be more present and engaged in your relationships.
  • You can develop better communication skills to express yourself clearly and understand others better.
  • If you’re facing challenges in your relationships, a therapist can provide guidance and support. They can help you understand the dynamics at play and develop strategies to address and overcome these challenges.

If you’re ready for this transformative journey, one that offers deep insights into your own emotions, behaviors, and patterns in relationships, online therapy might be an excellent avenue to explore. 

Just start with a brief survey.

Final thoughts

Quality time is a love language that allows couples to show their love and appreciation by dedicating regular time and undivided attention to each other. 

Sharing time and simple acts can lead to a deeper connection, greater contentment, and fewer anxieties within the relationship.

Flood, S., & Genadek, K. R. (2015). Time for each other: work and family constraints among couples. Journal of Marriage and Family , 78 (1), 142–164. https://doi.org/10.1111/jomf.12255

Raman, C. (2022, July 12). Perceived conversation quality in spontaneous interactions . arXiv.org. https://arxiv.org/abs/2207.05791

Hidd, V. V., López, E., Centellegher, S., Roberts, S. G. B., Lepri, B., & Dunbar, R. (2023). The stability of transient relationships. Scientific Reports , 13 (1). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-023-32206-2

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Quality time explained - the 5 love languages®.

Quality Time might be the easiest language to understand, but it can also be one of the easiest to misinterpret.

In this post, we’ll explain the Quality Time love language, take a look at some examples, and give you a list of ideas to help you create more quality time together!

If you haven’t yet discovered your love language, we’d like to invite you to take this  free quiz .

Quality Time Explained

If your partner’s primary   love language   is Quality Time, it means that they feel loved the most when you spend quality time with them. No brainer, right? Not so fast! Being around them just won’t cut. Neither will the standard movie night. Why? Because quality time is way more than just time, it’s attention. In fact, this love language should probably be renamed to “Quality Attention”, but that doesn’t sound as good.

If you want to show your partner some love and their language is Quality Time, remember the 3 Be’s!

Be Deliberate with Your Time

Turning a suddenly open night or some random free block in the schedule into quality time may not work. Yes, spontaneity and adventure are great, but individuals whose primary love language is Quality Time appreciate the effort and determination you place into that time together.

If your quality time is dedicated and pre-planned, your partner will feel like that time is theirs. It shows that you are thinking of them and want to give them their own special time. That quality time was set aside for them and only them. By doing so, you’re reinforcing the fact that they are most important.

Be Mentally Present

So, you spend some time planning something special, but then you’re on your phone the entire time. Nooope! Remember, more than the time, the attention is what’s most important. If you’re skimming emails, your phone has your attention, not your partner. If you are watching TV out of the corner of your eye at the restaurant, those sports players have your attention, not your partner.

Quality time means putting away the phone and clearing your brain of anything distracting so you can to ensure that your partner is your number one focus!

Be Affectionate

You planned a killer night out together. Check! You turned your phone off and are totally ready for some one-on-one time. Check! Now what? Well, be affectionate! Show your partner you love them. Be playful. Tell them how much you care. Again, show them that they are your world. That attention will go a long way in helping to affirm your love!

Quality Time: Date Night Challenge

Over the next week, we are challenging you to create some quality time together! Shocker, we know.

We do have some rules though. It only needs to be 45 minutes, but you must do it   every day . We’ve created a list of 10 options for you below. You can always pick your own, just make sure they all include the 3 Be’s!

Ideas for you Quality Time:

  • Take a walk around the neighborhood.
  • Do a puzzle or play a board game.
  • Find a DIY project to do throughout the week (finishing a little each day).
  • Plan out your next vacation together.
  • Find a new recipe and make it for dinner together.
  • Take a mini road trip.
  • Go stargazing.
  • Make homemade pizzas and eat while you watch the sunset.
  • Write a country song together about your relationship.
  • Play “If I Could” at the mall: Go to every store and chose one item they sell that you would buy your partner, if you could.

Want to learn even MORE about Quality Time?

Here at Crated with Love, we incorporate all of   The 5 Love Languages®   to help our couples closer together. Start your date night adventure and join thousands of other couples improving their relationships every month, one date night at a time!

Start Our Date Night Adventure!

Ready to dive deeper into another one of   The 5 Love Languages® ?

We’ve outlined all of different love languages and included date night challenges for each! Check them out below!

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Acts of Service
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Quality Time
  • Physical Touch

What’s your love language?  Click here  to take the FREE QUIZ or  get your copy today ! The concepts of  The 5 Love Languages ® have been shared with permission. ©1992, 2015 Gary D. Chapman. All rights reserved.

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Live Bold and Bloom

Show You Care with These 135 Quality Time Love Language Ideas

You and your partner deserve more than just stolen moments together—you deserve real, meaningful time that nourishes your bond. 

If “quality time” tops your shared love languages list, read on for inspiration. 

We all lead busy lives, so carving out connection takes intention. But quality beats quantity when it comes to time spent with your significant other. 

From at-home date nights to shared adventures outdoors, you'll discover 135 ideas to strengthen that precious partnership.

What Is the Quality Time Love Language?

How to love someone whose love language is quality time, quality time love language date ideas, quality time vacation ideas, quality time love language ideas for him, quality time love language ideas for her, get creative and customize your ideas, schedule experiences regularly, trade off choosing ideas, stretch your comfort zones  , final thoughts.

The concept of “love languages” was coined by relationship counselor Gary Chapman in his bestselling book “The Five Love Languages.” 

According to Chapman, quality time is one of five key ways that people express and receive love in relationships , along with words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, and gift-giving.

couple sitting on mountain ledge Quality Time Love Language

If quality time is your or your partner's primary love language, it means you feel most cared for and connected through:

  • Shared experiences where you have your partner's undivided attention
  • Making memories together through substantive interactions
  • Bonding in meaningful conversation, comfortable silence
  • Your partner putting effort into making time for just the two of you

Unlike some of the other love languages , quality time requires presence over presents. The emphasis is on people over places or gifts. 

It’s all about deepening intimacy through togetherness, eye contact, engaged listening, understanding, and moments that nurture your relationship .

135 Quality Time Love Language Ideas

Intentionality is key when it comes to quality time. While spontaneous moments together are lovely, truly nourishing your bond requires planning and commitment. 

That's why we've gathered 135 ideas for activities, conversation starters, at-home dates, trips, and more. Get ready to discover new ways to immerse yourselves in each other!

1. Make breakfast together, then enjoy it in bed while chatting.

2. Slow dance in the living room to songs from your wedding or when you first met. 

3. Give each other massages while catching up about your dreams and goals.

4. Play board games that require strategy, like chess or Scrabble.

5. Cuddle up by the fireplace and read aloud classic novels to each other.

6. Cook homemade pizzas from scratch while sipping wine and laughing in the kitchen. 

7. Have a living room picnic complete with your favorite snacks and throwback movies.  

8. Craft vision boards displaying your hopes for the future and home decor ideas.

9. Rearrange furniture together in a functional yet cozy layout.

10. Create a blanket fort, order in, put on cozy socks, and binge a show.

11. Brew teas or coffee, put on ambient music, and slow dance in pajamas. 

12. DIY bath bombs while drawing each other bubble baths.

13. Build furniture together from kits for a sense of accomplishment.  

14. Bake sweet treats and reminisce about childhood memories.

15. Give each other pedicures while reflecting on your relationship's highlights.  

16. Tell stories cuddled up with hot cider about what first attracted you to each other.

couple cooking together in kitchen Quality Time Love Language

17. Play Jenga with customized blocks featuring questions and date ideas.  

18. Build a pillow fort and see how long you can go without checking your phones.

19. Recreate your first date at home with music from that era, outfits, and menus. 

20. Make vision boards showcasing bucket list trips and home decoration visions.

21. Cook new exotic cuisines while sipping wines from those regions.

22. Have an indoor picnic with childhood favorites like PB&J sandwiches and hot cocoa.

23. Play “This or That,” revealing questions to understand personalities better.

24. Write “Reasons Why I Love You” notes to tuck away in surprising places to delight each other when found later. 

25. Watch nostalgic movies from your childhood while cuddling with your favorite blankets and beloved snacks.

26. Create comic strips together showcasing silly moments from your relationship.

27. Decorate a table beautifully, use the fine china, dress elegantly, and formally dine.

28. Go for a scenic hike while asking thoughtful questions from a list you created.

29. Check out street performers at an outdoor mall and discuss the trained skills on display.  

30. Take a pottery-making class together to create sentimental keepsakes out of clay.

31. Meet animals at a petting zoo and admire the different textures of fur and skin.  

32. Go salsa dancing dressed sharp, learn new moves together, and get lost in the rhythms.  

33. Rent a tandem bike and feel the thrill of riding in sync, taking in lake views.

34. Volunteer together at a food bank or animal shelter to help the community.

35. Stargaze while dreaming up adventurous trips and to-dos for your bucket lists.

36. Take a couples’ massage class to practice pampering techniques.  

37. Go wine tasting and learn about grape harvests and fermentation processes.

38. Check out an art museum while pondering the meanings behind the works. 

39. Build battle bots, then compete to see whose creation comes out on top.

40. Take a painting class recreating beautiful landscape scenes.  

41. Go on photo scavenger hunts to capture tricky items and creative selfies.  

42. Play mini-golf while making friendly bets over ice cream.  

43. Take a glass-blowing workshop and turn sand into art.  

44. Go to the batting cages and pitch balls to each other, competing for the best hits.   

45. Take ballroom dance classes to learn elegant dances like the tango or foxtrot.

46. Go rollerblading while holding hands along the boardwalk.  

47. Volunteer at an animal shelter, taking dogs on walks and playing with cats.  

48. Work together in a community garden, getting your hands dirty.

49. Go-kart racing, comparing lap times and speeds.

50. Take a couples’ trapeze class, supporting each other in learning acrobatics.  

51. Go to the aquarium and be mesmerized by the marine life.

52. Make your own unique pizzas with inventive ingredients. 

53. Check out a new cafe’s open mic night featuring local poets and musicians. 

54. Take a chocolate-making class, sampling, as you learn about techniques.

55. Explore national parks, appreciating nature while hiking scenic trails.

56. Check into a cozy bed and breakfast with fireplaces and home-cooked breakfasts. 

57. Go on a road trip without set plans or destination, stopping spontaneously at quirky roadside attractions.

58. Take a couples cooking class abroad to learn new cuisines and techniques.

59. Relax at a spa retreat with mineral baths, massage workshops, and yoga sessions.

60. Rent a lake house and spend long days swimming, canoeing, and staring at the stars.

61. Take a workshop-centric trip like tantric, art, or photography classes.

62. Check into a living treehouse resort and sleep surrounded by the rainforest.  

63. Push your limits with adventures like skydiving, hang gliding, or shark diving.

64. Camp together lakeside, trading stories over s'mores by the crackling campfire.  

65. Lounge at the beach, holding hands, reading books, playing cards, and tanning.

66. Explore wineries, learning the wine-making process through hands-on grape stomping and barrel tastings.  

67. Wander a new city together without plans, alternating who picks attractions and restaurants.

couple dancing together outdoors Quality Time Love Language Ideas

68. Visit rejuvenating hot springs and massage mineral waters into each other's skin.

69. Take a bike tour through picturesque regions, stopping for picnics and sightseeing. 

70. Pack backpacks and hike through forests to mountaintop vistas far from crowds.  

71. Snorkel vibrant reefs, spotting unique marine life before relaxing oceanside.  

72. Learn a new skill together, like sailing a catamaran or paddleboarding.

73. Explore ruins and wander medieval castles, imagining the histories within the walls.  

74. Check into a boutique adults-only resort with complimentary couples’ massages. 

75. Stroll charming Christmas markets, sipping mulled wine and finding perfect handmade gifts.  

76. Visit an elephant sanctuary and interact gently with the majestic creatures.

77. Take a Thai cooking class infusing culture into your kitchen when back home.

78. Relax at an adults-only all-inclusive with reserved beach loungers and private plunge pools.  

79. Wander Venice hand-in-hand over quaint bridges without any set agenda.

80. Explore the Great Barrier Reef, snorkeling vibrant corals from a comfortable sailboat.

81. Enjoy the ultimate date at the top of the Eiffel Tower and take in Paris’ twinkling lights.

82. Build battle bots to compete against each other in robotic combat. 

83. Go axe throwing, comparing strike accuracy and power.

84. Make unique pizzas with his favorite meats, beers, and hot sauces.

85. Play his favorite video games together in story mode, defeating enemies side-by-side.

86. Go fishing early in the morning in a quiet boat and bond over beers in the fresh air.  

87. Attend a stand-up comedy show of his favorite comedian and laugh together at hilarious sets.  

88. Get wild game tickets like baseball or football to see your favorite teams with snacks smuggled in.

89. Construct radio-controlled cars, then test relative speed and maneuverability racing against each other.

90. Brew specialty beers together while the mash settles and take turns throwing darts.   

91. Go thrifting and visit second-hand stores in search of rare collectibles from his youth.

92. Make his favorite childhood meals, then watch nostalgic movies snuggled on the couch.

93. Plan a guy’s day with events he enjoys, like gaming tourneys, drag races, poker games, and wings.

94. Go to the shooting range and learn firearm safety while testing marksmanship.  

95. Build your own dining table together following woodworking diagrams. 

96. Visit legendary sports stadiums and museums, taking memorable selfies.  

97. Ride roller coasters at theme parks and scream wildly on heart-stopping drops.

98. Take a couples’ glass-blowing workshop crafting elaborate beer mugs.

99. Learn parkour together with classes on free-running obstacle courses. 

100. Go indoor skydiving and feel like kids again as the wind blasts around you.

101. Join a billiards league practicing trick shots every Tuesday night.  

102. Volunteer as assistant coaches for kids’ sports teams he once played on.

103. Recreate favorite scenes from classic buddy action movies. 

104. Go rock climbing and discover who can scale the sheer face faster.   

105. Join a casual bowling team to socialize while striving for strikes and spares.

106. Play bucket list-worthy golf courses and keep friendly scorecards.  

107. Meet favorite athletes at fan conventions, collecting priceless signed memorabilia.  

108. Join a casual softball league to stay active during warmer months.

109. Recreate iconic scenes from her favorite romantic comedies.

110. Slow dance in the kitchen while baking her favorite treats.

111. Draw her a scented bubble bath by candlelight with a glass of wine.

112. Frame printed photos of treasured memories to decorate your home.  

113. Go salsa dancing dressed to impress, spinning her across the dancefloor.

114. Book couples’ massages followed by painting each other’s toenails.

115. Have relaxed picnic dates on lush grass, watching clouds drift by.

116. Ask thoughtful questions from a customized list to understand her deeply.  

117. Write “Reasons Why I Love You” notes tucked in surprising places to find later. 

118. Cuddle on the couch under cozy blankets while you read aloud to each other.  

119. Plan sentimental trips back to places she loved growing up.

120. Snuggle in a blanket fort while watching her favorite chick flicks.

121. Caress her hands gently, asking about her childhood dreams and earliest memories.  

122. Slow dance in the sunlight to a romantic playlist you curated just for her.

123. Surprise her by cooking exotic new dishes she’s been longing to try. 

124. Craft vision boards displaying your grandest hopes, dreams, and ideal future.

125. Book couple’s cooking classes to broaden your gastronomic horizons together.

126. Garden hand-in-hand, planting her favorite colorful flowers and delicious vegetables.   

127. Upload sweet selfies to customize phone cases, calendars, and printed keepsakes.  

128. Schedule regular date nights to dress up fancy, dine elegantly, and dance slowly.   

129. Craft handwritten love notes sealed with a lipstick kiss on scented paper.

130. Treat her to ballroom dance classes gliding gracefully across polished wood floors.

131. Display favorite photos prominently in creative framed collages.  

132. Thoughtfully select books, streaming shows, and films she would adore.

133. Plan relaxing nights inhaling essential oils while giving at-home facials and pedicures.

134. Thoughtfully select floral bouquets representing symbols of your loving relationship.  

135. Embark on cooking classes, tailoring tantalizing dishes to her unique palate.

If your partner feels most cherished through dedicated one-on-one time, intentional efforts toward togetherness can profoundly impact your connection.

Consistent, substantive interactions trump extravagant gifts or flurry of quick texts. 

Though busy schedules cram our calendar, heartfelt engagement reminds your significant other they come first.

Ways to Love Someone Whose Love Language is Quality Time:

  • Schedule recurring date nights to reinforce reliability and provide comforting continuity. Explore new cuisines together or reuse beloved traditions holding special meaning.
  • Initiate frequent non-distracted conversations digging into your partner’s dreams, goals, worries, and sources of joy. Ask thoughtful questions, then actively listen rather than multitasking.
  • Plan regular weekend getaways, tailoring destinations and activities to mutual interests like hiking, wine tasting, or relaxing beachfront. Disconnecting from the daily grind to immerse in each other rejuvenates intimacy.
  • Surprise your partner by incorporating nostalgic references to favorite memories into date ideas. Recreate inside jokes through subtle cues showing you cherish special moments shared.
  • Treat everyday tasks like cooking dinner or tackling house projects as opportunities for togetherness versus solo chores. Creatively blend quality time into routines.

Consistent time and attention can profoundly impact partners craving engagement. 

Small gestures speak louder through listening ears, reminiscing, and escaping distractions to just be.

How to Use These Quality Time Examples

Look, life moves fast. Back-to-back Zooms, errands galore, managing the kids’ jam-packed schedules…there’s always an excuse not to slow down. But your relationship thrives through intentionally carving out time together amidst the rush. Here are some thoughts on ways to implement these quality time activities. 

Brainstorm tweaks to these ideas to personalize date concepts that resonate more deeply with both of you. You might surprise your partner by adding nostalgic touches representing inside jokes or significant memories you share. Or consider blending multiple suggestions for more multi-faceted experiences. 

Carving out time as a couple requires real intention. Be sure to mark recurring calendar invites so you remember to act on your date ideas. Consider unique venues that would work for upcoming anniversaries or birthday celebrations. You’ll show how committed you are to nourishing intimacy when you’re reliable with these activities.  

Be sure you take turns picking date activities, vacation destinations, or experimental cuisines. Surprising each other with your ideas will prevent ruts while appealing to both your preferences. Also, lean into spontaneity, saying “yes” more to spur-of-the-moment quality time.  

When you test these uncharted date ideas, you’ll expand your horizons and bring novelty to your relationship. Adventurous options that are outside of your normal routines will expose you both to new and fun passions. So, say “yes” to trying cuisine techniques, dance styles, or sports slightly outside your common interests. 

It comes down to this: no matter the season of life, your partner needs to know they still come first in your heart. That happens through showing up — listening more than talking, remembering the little things, and planning adventures big and small together.

Don’t just toss these quality time ideas in some forgotten corner of your phone or let that date-night calendar invite languish with the snooze button permanently clicked. Inspiration must meet commitment for intimacy to grow. Dream up exciting expressions of your love tailored perfectly for them, then actually follow through.

Tchiki Davis, Ph.D.

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What Are the 5 Love Languages? Definition and Examples

How do you receive love gary chapman's love languages can help you find out..

Posted September 28, 2020 | Reviewed by Lybi Ma

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  • The concept of "love languages" shows couples how to give each other love in ways that it is best received.
  • An example of the "words of affirmation" love language might be when one partner compliments or thanks the other.
  • Those who prefer the "quality time" love language might enjoy taking trips or having deep conversations with their partner.

Michal Jarmoluk on Pixabay

According to author Gary Chapman, there are five love languages. Our "love language" describes how we receive love from others. They are:

Words of Affirmation - Saying supportive things to your partner

Acts of Service - Doing helpful things for your partner

Receiving Gifts - Giving your partner gifts that tell them you were thinking about them

Quality Time - Spending meaningful time with your partner

Physical Touch - Being close to and caressed by your partner

Each of us differs in the ways that we receive love. By learning to give love in the ways that our partner can best receive it, and by asking our partner to give us love in the ways that we can receive it, we can create stronger relationships.

Learn more about each of the love languages

Want to find out which love languages you speak (or speak to you)?

Love language 1: Words of affirmation

Ask yourself, how do you feel when you hear your partner offer encouraging, positive, and affirming words, and compliments?

Examples: Your partner congratulates you, tells you "great job!", tells you that you look attractive, or thanks you for something?

If these things make you feel the most loved and happy, words of affirmation may be your primary love language.

Love language 2: Acts of service

Ask yourself, how do you feel when your partner helps you with tasks that reduce your burden or ease your stress ?

Examples: Your partner does a chore for you, runs an errand for you, or takes care of something without having to be asked?

If these things make you feel the most loved and happier, acts of service may be your primary love language.

Love language 3: Receiving gifts

Ask yourself, how do you feel when your partner gets you thoughtful or extravagant gifts?

Examples: You get a gift or a small treat from your partner that tells you he/she was thinking about you.

If these things make you feel the most loved and happy, receiving gifts may be your primary love language.

Love language 4: Quality time

Ask yourself, how do you feel when your partner gives you their undivided attention and you engage in meaningful conversation or activities?

Examples: You and your partner have a date night, go on a trip together, or have a deep conversation?

If these things make you feel the most loved and happy, quality time may be your primary love language.

Love language 5: Physical touch

Ask yourself, how do you feel when your partner shows you affection through touch?

Examples: You and your partner hold hands, kiss, hug, or sit/lay close together.

If these things make you feel the most loved and happy, physical touch may be your primary love language.

How to use love languages in your relationship

If we want to build healthy relationships, we have to work at it. We have to tell our partner what makes us feel loved and we need to show our partner love in the ways that they want to receive it. That's how we can use love languages to improve the quality of our relationships.

Created with content from The Berkeley Well-Being Institute .

Tchiki Davis, Ph.D.

Tchiki Davis, Ph.D. , is a consultant, writer, and expert on well-being technology.

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Home / Essay Samples / Life / Love / Quality Time: Nurturing Lasting Connections

Quality Time: Nurturing Lasting Connections

  • Category: Life
  • Topic: Relationship

Pages: 1 (475 words)

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Importance of Quality Time

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