narrative essay helping a friend in trouble

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QUESTION 18 - When I helped someone Write a creative piece to the following prompt: When I helped someone …

Struggling With Writing In English?

When i helped someone by shreya rao.

Helping people is a sign to them to show you care. I am sure everyone has helped someone else at least once, as it is a common thing. Further on in this essay I will state various times when I have helped someone.

Like many people, I have a sibling. He is younger than me so I help him many times. I help my brother with many things such as helping him with his homework, keeping him entertained when he is bored and ensuring of his safety. But sometimes there are significant events where he really needs my help such as when he gets bullied or badly injured and there is no one else around who can help him. Something like this happened at school. At lunch while I was enjoying my delicious sandwich my brother came up to me and said that his friends were running away from him. As an older sister I was alarmed and angry with those who upset my little brother. So, as most people would do, I took my brother's hand and he lead me to his friends. I told my brother's friends that this was an impolite thing to be doing and was unkind. As I was a senior in the school, my brother's friends did not argue and started to play with my brother.

Another instance when I have helped someone, was when I spotted a girl a little younger than I was who was injured and crying on the footpath. I approached her cautiously and bent down to ask her what had happened. She told me that she was going on a jog alone but she slipped and grazed her knees and hands and that now she couldn't get up. I straight away knew what to do. I asked her to calm down and not move so I could go and get my parents to assist her. Once I had gotten my parents and some bandages she told my parents what her parent's phone number was. We told the girl's parents where she was, and within five minutes they had come and picked her up.

You can help people whether you know them or not. Usually what I feel is that after you help someone you feel happy and glad about what you have just done. So go and help people in need because it will help you to feel happy too.

Your essay has received a general score of 5.33 on a scale from 0 to 10 #3 out of 100

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Friday essay: on the ending of a friendship

Emeritus Professor of Creative writing, The University of Melbourne

Disclosure statement

Kevin John Brophy does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

University of Melbourne provides funding as a founding partner of The Conversation AU.

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Friendship is an incomparable, immeasurable boon to me, and a source of life — not metaphorically but literally.

• Simone Weil

About eight years ago, I went to dinner with a dear friend I had known for more than 40 years. It would be the last time we would see each other and by the end of that evening I was deeply shaken. But more lasting and more unsettling than this has been the feeling of loss without his friendship. It was a sudden ending but it was also an ending that lasted for me well beyond that evening. I have worried since then at what kind of friend I am to my friends, and why a friendship can suddenly self-destruct while others can so unexpectedly bloom.

My friend and I were used to going to dinner together, though it had become an increasingly tricky matter for us. We had been seeing each other more infrequently, and our conversations had been tending towards repetition. I still enjoyed his passion for talk, his willingness to be puzzled by life’s events, our comically growing list of minor ailments as we entered our sixties, and the old stories he fell back on — usually stories of his minor triumphs, such as the time his car burst into fire, was declared a write-off by insurance, and ended in an auction house where he bought it back with part of the insurance payout and only minor repairs to be made. There were stories of his time as a barman in one of Melbourne’s roughest pubs. I suppose in a lot of long-lasting friendships it is these repeated stories of the past that can fill the present so richly.

Nevertheless, both his opinions and mine seemed to have become too predictable. Even his desire to come up with the most unpredictable viewpoint on any problem was a routine I expected from him. Each of us knew the weaknesses in the other’s thinking, and we had learned not to go too far with some topics, which were of course the most interesting and important ones.

He knew how politically correct I could be, and shrewdly enough he had no time for my self-righteousness, the predictability of my views on gender, race and climate. I understood this. He knew too that his fiercely independent thinking was often just the usual rant against greenies or lefties. Something had begun to fail in our friendship, but I could not properly perceive this or speak of it.

We were a contrasting pair. He was a big man with an aggressive edge to his gregarious nature, while I was lean, short and physically slight next to him, a much more reserved person altogether. I liked his size because big men have been protective figures in my life. At times when I felt threatened I would ask him to come with me to a meeting or a transaction, and just stand next to me in his big way. During one long period of trouble with our neighbours he would visit when the tension was high to show his formidable presence and his solidarity with us.

I was always reading and knew how to talk books, while he was too restless to read much. He knew how to sing, bursting into song occasionally when we were together. He had been unable to work professionally since a breakdown that was both physical and mental. By contrast, I was working steadily, never quite as free with my time as he was.

Nearly two years before our last dinner together his wife had suddenly left him. As it turned out, she had been planning her departure for some time, but when she went he was taken by surprise. I saw a more confused and fragile side of him during those months when we would meet and talk through how he was dealing with their counselling sessions, and then how the negotiations were proceeding over belongings and finally the family house. He was learning to live alone for the first time since he had been a young man, and was exploring what it might be like to seek out new relationships.

Read more: Research Check: is it true only half your friends actually like you?

A safe haven

We had met when I was a first-year university student boarding at my grandmother’s home in an inner Melbourne suburb. I was studying for a Bachelor of Arts, staying up through the nights, discovering literature, music, history, cask wine, dope, girls and ideas.

He lived in a flat a few doors away in a street behind my grandmother’s place, and I remember it was the local parish youth group, or the remnants of one, that used to meet in his flat. In my friend’s flat we would lie around the floor, half a dozen of us, drinking, flirting, arguing about religion or politics until the night was strung out in our heads, tight and thin and vibrating with possibilities. I loved that sudden intimate and intellectually rich contact with people my own age.

My friend and I started up a coffee lounge in an old disused shopfront as a meeting place for youth who would otherwise be on the street. I was the one who became immersed in the chaotic life of the place as students, musicians, misfits, hopeful poets and petty criminals floated through the shop, while my friend kept his eye on the broader picture that involved real estate agents, local councils, supplies of coffee, income and expenditure.

Perhaps the experience helped delay my own adulthood, allowing me time to try out a bohemian, communal alternative lifestyle that was so important to some of us in the early 1970s. My friend, though, was soon married. It was as if he had been living a parallel life outside our friendship, outside the youth group, coffee shop, jug band, drugs and misadventures of our project.

This did not break us up, and in fact after his marriage he became another kind of friend. I was at times struggling to find some steady sense of myself. Sometimes in those years I would not be able to talk or even be near others, and I remember once when I felt like this I went to my newly married friend’s home, and asked if I could lie on the floor in the corner of their lounge room for a few days until I felt better.

They indulged me. I felt it was this haven that saved me then, giving me the time to recoup and giving me a sense that there was somewhere I could go where the world was safe and neutral.

In time, and more bumpily and uncertainly than my friend, I was with a partner raising a family. He was often involved in our children’s birthdays, other celebrations, our house-moving, and just dropping in on family meals. It worked for us. I remember him lifting our cast iron wood-burning stove into its place in our first renovated Brunswick cottage. He lived in a more sprawling home near bushland on the edge of Melbourne, so one of my pleasures became the long cycling trips out to see him.

My partner and I were embraced by a local community thanks to the childcare centre, kinders, schools and sport. Lasting friendships (for us and for our children) grew in the tentative, open-ended, slightly blindly feeling way of friendships. Through this decade and a half though, the particular friendship with my songful friend held, perhaps to the surprise of both of us.

‘Tolerating much, for the sake of best intentions’

In his thoroughly likeable 1993 book on friendship , the political scientist Graham Little wrote under the bright light of writings by Aristotle and Freud, that the purest kind of friendship “welcomes the different ways people are alive to life and tolerates much in a friend for the sake of best intentions”.

Here perhaps is the closest I have seen to a definition of friendship at its best: a stance imbued with sympathy, interest and excitement directed at another despite all that otherwise shows we are flawed and dangerous creatures.

On that evening, the evening of the last time we went out to dinner together, I did push my friend towards one of the topics we usually avoided. I had been wanting him to acknowledge and even apologise for his behaviour towards some young women he had spoken to, I thought, lewdly and insultingly nearly a year before in my home at a party. The women and those of us who had witnessed his behaviour felt continuing tension over his refusal to discuss the fact that he had wanted to speak so insultingly to them and then had done it in our home in front of us. For me, there was some element of betrayal, not only in the way he had behaved but in his continued refusal to discuss what had happened.

The women were drunk, he said, just as he had said the last time I tried to talk to him about this. They were wearing almost nothing, he said, and what he’d said to them was no more than they were expecting. My friend and I were sitting in a popular Thai restaurant on Sydney Road: metal chairs, plastic tables, concrete floor. It was noisy, packed with students, young couples and groups out for a cheap and tasty meal. A waitress had put menus, water and beer on our table while she waited for us to decide on our meals. Wanting to push finally past this impasse, I pointed out to him that the women had not insulted him, he had insulted them.

If that’s the way you want it, he replied, and placed his hands on each side of the table, hurling it into the air and walking out of the restaurant as table, bottles, glasses, water and beer came clattering and smashing down around me. The whole restaurant fell silent. I could not move for some time. The waitress began mopping up the floor around me. Someone called out, “Hey, are you all right?”

This was the last time I saw or heard from him. For many months, I thought of him every day, then slowly I thought of him less often, until now I can think of him more or less at will, and not find myself ashamed of the way I went for him in a conversation where I should have been perhaps more alive to whatever was troubling him.

Improvised, tentative

For some years after this, I felt I had to learn how to be myself without him. I have read articles and essays since then about how pitiful men can be at friendship. We are apparently too competitive, we base our friendships on common activities, which means we can avoid talking openly about our feelings and thoughts. I don’t know about this “male deficit model”, as some sociologists call it, but I do know that the loss of this friendship took with it a big part of my shared personal history at that time. It dented my confidence in ever having properly known this man or understood our friendship — or in knowing how secure any friendship might be.

I was drawn to read and re-read Michel de Montaigne’s gentle and strangely extreme essay on friendship where he was so certain that he knew with perfection what his friend would think and say and value. He wrote of his friend, Etienne de Boëtie, “Not only did I know his mind as well as I knew my own but I would have entrusted myself to him with greater assurance than to myself.”

Against this perfection of understanding between friends, there is George Eliot’s odd excursion into science fiction in her 1859 novel, The Lifted Veil . Her narrator, Latimer, finds he can perceive perfectly clearly the thoughts of all the people around him. He becomes disgusted and deeply disturbed by the petty self-interest he apparently discovers within everyone.

After 40 years of shared history, there was not the disgust Eliot writes of, nor Montaigne’s perfect union of mind and trust between me and my burly friend, but there was, I had thought, a foundation of knowledge whereby we took each other’s differences into ourselves, as well as our common histories of the cafe we had run, and as it happened our common serving of time in semi-monastic seminaries before we’d met — differences and similarities that had given us, I thought, ways of being in sympathy with each other while allowing for each other.

Read more: Guide to the classics: Michel de Montaigne's Essays

Montaigne’s dearest friend, Etienne, had died, and his essay was as much about the meaning of this loss as about friendship. His big idea was loyalty, and I think I understand that, though not in the absolute way Montaigne wrote of it.

Loyalty is only real if it is constantly renewed. I worry that I have not worked enough at some friendships that have come into my life, but have let them happen more passively than the women I know who spend such time, and such complicated time, exploring and testing friendships. The sudden disappearance of my friend left me with an awareness of how patched-together, how improvised, clumsy and tentative even the most secure-seeming friendship can be.

When the philosopher and brilliant essayist, Simone Weil wrote shortly before she died in 1943,

I may lose, at any moment, through the play of circumstances over which I have no control, anything whatsoever that I possess, including things that are so intimately mine that I consider them as myself. There is nothing that I might not lose. It could happen at any moment ….

she seemed to be touching on the difficult truth that we run on luck and hope and chance much of the time. Why haven’t I worked harder at friendships, when I know that they provide the real meaning in my life?

Some years ago, when I was told by a medical specialist that I had a 30% chance of having cancer, as I waited for the results of a biopsy, I remember that in response to these dismal odds I had no desire to go back to work, no desire to even read — all I wanted to do was spend time with friends.

Inner worlds laid waste

To know what it is we care about, this is a gift. It should be straightforward to know this and keep it present in our lives, but it can prove to be difficult. Being the reader that I am, I have always turned to literature and fiction for answers or insights into those questions that seem to need answering.

I realised some time after the ending of my friendship that I had been reading novels dealing with friendship, and was not even sure how consciously I had chosen them.

For instance, I read The Book of Strange New Things by Michel Faber, a novel about a Christian preacher, Peter Leigh, sent to convert aliens in a galaxy ludicrously far from earth on a planet with an equally unlikely atmosphere benign to its human colonisers.

It is a novel about whether Leigh can be any kind of adequate friend to his wife left behind on Earth, and whether his new feelings for these aliens amounts to friendship. Though my suspension of disbelief was precarious, I found myself caring about these characters and their relationships, even the grotesquely shapeless aliens. Partly I cared about them because the book read like an essay testing ideas of friendship and loyalty that were important and urgent to the writer.

I also read at that time Haruki Murakami’s novel, Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage , a book that came with a little game of coloured cards and stickers, and I found that I cared about Tsukuru Tazaki too, for I felt all along that Murakami’s character was a thin and endearing disguise for himself (what a beautiful word that is, “en-dearing”).

The novel centred on lost friendships. I heard a tone in its voice that was the oddly flat, persistent, vulnerable and sincere searching of a man for connection with others. If Murakami’s novel has a proposition it wishes to test it would be that we only know ourselves in what images of ourselves we receive back from our friends. Without our friends we become invisible, lost.

In both those novels, the friendships are crashing to pieces in slow motion in front of the reader’s helpless eyes. I wanted to shake those characters, tell them to stop and think about what they were doing, but at the same time I saw in them mirrors of myself and my experiences.

I read John Berger too , on the way a human looks across an abyss of incomprehension when looking at another animal. Though language seems to connect us, it might be that language also distracts us from the actual abyss of ignorance and fear between all of us as we look, across, at each other. In his book on the savage mind , Lévi-Strauss quotes a study of Canadian Carrier Indians living on the Bulkley River who were able to cross that abyss between species, believing they knew what animals did and what their needs were because their men had been married to the salmon, the beaver and the bear.

I have read essays by Robin Dunbar on the evolutionary limits to our circles of intimacy , where he suggests that for most of us there needs to be three or maybe five truly close friends. These are the ones we lean towards with tenderness and open ourselves to with endless curiosity — those in whom we seek only the good.

My partner can name quickly four friends who qualify for her as part of this necessary circle. I find I can name two (and she is one of them), then a constellation of individual friends whose closeness to me I can’t easily measure. It is this constellation that sustains me.

Recently I was away from home for three months. After two weeks away I wrote a list in the back of my diary of the friends I was missing. A little more than a dozen of these were the friends, men and women, with whom I need contact, and with whom conversations are always open-ended, surprising, intellectually stimulating, sometimes intimate, and often fun. With each of them I explore a slightly different but always essential version of myself. Graham Little wrote that “ideal soulmates are friends who are fully aware that each has himself as his main life project”.

To live this takes some effort of imagination, and with my friend at dinner that night I might in myself have been refusing to make this effort.

There are also, it occurs to me, the friends who came as couples, with whom my partner and I share time as couples. This is itself another manifestation of friendship, one that crosses over into community, tribe and family — and no less precious than the individual intimacy of a personal friendship. For reasons I can’t properly fathom, the importance of this kind of time with coupled friends has deepened as I have grown through the decades of my fifties and sixties.

Perhaps it is that the dance of conversation and ideas is so much more complex and pleasurable when there are four or more contributing. It could be too that I am absolved from the responsibility of really working at these friendships in the way one must when there are two of us. Or it might be the pang and stimulus of the knowledge that opportunities to be together are brutally diminishing as we grow older.

But to lose an individual friend from one’s closest circle is to have large tracts of one’s inner world laid waste for a time. My feelings over the end of this particular friendship were a kind of grief mixed with bewilderment.

It was not that the friendship was necessary to my existence, but that perhaps through habit and sympathy it had become a fixed part of my identity. Robin Dunbar would say that by stepping away from this friendship I had made room for someone else to slip in to my circle of most intimate friends, but isn’t it the point of such close friends that they are in some important sense irreplaceable? This is the source of much of our distress when such friendships end.

Still learning

When I told people about what had happened in the restaurant that night, they would say, reasonably, “Why don’t you patch things up and resume your friendship?”

As I imagined how a conversation might go if I did meet my friend again, I came to understand that I had been a provocation to him. I had ceased to be the friend he needed, wanted or imagined.

What he did was dramatic. He might have called it merely dramatic. I felt it as threatening. Though I cannot help but think I provoked him. And if we had “patched” a friendship back together, on whose terms would this have been conducted? Would it always be that I would have to agree not to press him on questions that might lead him to throw over some table between us again?

Or worse, would I have to witness his apology, forgive him myself, and put him on his best behaviour for the rest of our friendship?

Neither of those outcomes would have patched much together. I had been hurting too over what I saw as his lack of willingness or interest to understand the situation from my point of view. And so it went inside me as the table and the water and the beer and the glasses came crashing down around me. I had been, in a way, married to my friend, even if he was a salmon or a bear — a creature across an abyss from me. Perhaps this was the only way out of that marriage. Perhaps he had been preparing for (moving towards?) this moment more consciously than I had been.

The ending of this friendship, it is clear, left me looking for its story. It was as if all along there must have been a narrative with a trajectory carrying us in this direction. A story is of course a way of testing whether an experience can take on a shape. Murakami’s and Faber’s novels are not themselves full-blown stories, for there is almost no plot, no shape, to their stumbling episodic structures, and oddly enough in both books the self-doubting lovers might or might not find that close communion with another somewhere well beyond the last page of each novel.

These novels cohere round a series of questions rather than events: what do we know and what can we know about others, what is the nature of the distance that separates one person from another, how provisional is it to know someone anyway, and what does it mean to care about someone, even someone who is a character in a novel?

When an Indian says he is married to a salmon, this can be no stranger than me saying I spent a couple of weeks on a humid planet in another galaxy with an astronaut who is a Christian preacher and an inept husband, or I spent last night in Tokyo with an engineer who builds railway stations and believes himself to be colourless, though at least two women have told him he is full of colour. But do I go to this story-making as a way of keeping my experiences less personal and more cerebral?

When I got home that night eight years ago, I sat at my kitchen table, shaking, hugging myself, talking to my grown-up children about what happened. It was the talking that helped — a narrative taking shape.

Dunbar, like me, like all of us, worries at the question of what makes life so richly present to us, and why friendships seem to be at the core of this meaningfulness. He has been surveying Americans with questions about friendship for several decades, and he concludes that for many of us the small circle of intimate friendships we experience is reducing.

We are apparently lucky now, on average, if there are two people in our lives we can approach with tenderness and curiosity, with that assumption that time will not matter as we talk in a low, murmuring, hive-warm way to a close friend.

My friend cannot be replaced, and it might be that we did not in the end imagine each other fully enough or accurately enough as we approached that last encounter. I don’t know precisely what our failure was. The shock of what happened and the shock of the friendship ending has over the time since that dinner become a part of my history in which I remember feeling grief but am no longer caught in confused anger or guilt over it. The story of it might not have ended but it has subsided.

Perhaps in all friendships we are not only, at our best, agreeing to encountering the unique and endlessly absorbing presence of another person, but unknown to us we’re learning something about how to approach the next friendship in our lives. There is something comically inept and endearing about the possibility that one might still be learning how to be a friend right up to the end of life.

• Friday essay
• Michel de Montaigne
• Peer relationships

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Student Essays

11 Best Written Essays on Helping Others in Life-Need & Importance

Helping others refers to an act whereby human beings help the fellow human in one way or the other. The concept of helping others has strong basis upon respecting, identifying and accepting the needs and issues of others and taking practical steps to resolve others issues. The following Essay on helping others talks on why helping others is important in our life, why we need to mutually support and cooperate other people in life.

1. Essay on Helping Others in Life |Need, and Importance of Helping others in Life

Helping others in the times of need is the basic instinct of human nature. It is the feeling of happiness and satisfaction that comes with being able to help someone in need that drives us towards doing good deeds. It is not only restricted to lending a helping hand during difficult times but also extends to small, everyday gestures that make a big difference in the lives of others.

>>>> Read Also : ” Essay on My Idea of Happy Life “

There are many benefits of helping others in life. The most obvious one is that it makes us feel good about ourselves. When we help someone in need, our brain releases serotonin, which is a hormone that makes us feel happy and satisfied. It also gives us a sense of purpose and meaning in life. Helping others allows us to connect with people on a deeper level and form meaningful relationships. It also gives us a sense of belonging and strengthens our bond with the community.

Apart from the personal satisfaction that comes with helping others, there are also many practical benefits. Helping others can boost our career prospects and open up new networking opportunities. It can also lead to positive changes in our society. When we help others, we set an example for others to follow and inspire them to do good deeds as well.

>>>> Read Also : ” Short Paragraph On Friendship & Its Importance  “

Therefore, helping others is not only beneficial for the person in need but also for the helper. It makes us feel good about ourselves and gives us a sense of purpose and meaning in life. It also has many practical benefits that can boost our career prospects and lead to positive changes in our society. So, next time you come across someone who needs help, don’t hesitate to lend a helping hand. It will make a big difference in their life and yours too.

2. Essay on helping others is Important:

Helping others is a fundamental aspect of human nature. We are all connected in this world, and our actions have the potential to impact those around us. Whether we realize it or not, helping others can bring immense satisfaction and fulfillment into our lives.

The act of helping others goes beyond just lending a hand or offering material assistance. It’s about showing compassion, empathy, and understanding towards others. It’s about being there for someone when they need it the most, without expecting anything in return. Helping others is not just a selfless act; it can also be a source of personal growth and development.

One of the main reasons why helping others is important is because it promotes a sense of community and belonging. When we help others, we create a sense of unity and togetherness, which is crucial for building strong relationships and fostering a supportive environment. It can also help break down barriers and promote understanding between different individuals or groups.

Furthermore, helping others can have a ripple effect in the community. When one person helps another, it often inspires others to do the same. This creates a domino effect of kindness and can lead to significant positive changes in society.

Helping others is also crucial for our own personal well-being. Studies have shown that acts of kindness can boost our mood, reduce stress and anxiety, and even improve our physical health. When we help others, we release feel-good hormones like serotonin and oxytocin, which can contribute to overall happiness and well-being.

Moreover, helping others can provide a sense of purpose and meaning in life. In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in our own lives and lose sight of the bigger picture. By helping others, we are reminded that there is more to life than just ourselves and our own struggles.

It’s also important to note that helping others does not always have to be a grand gesture. Simple acts of kindness and compassion, such as listening to someone who is going through a difficult time or offering words of encouragement, can make a significant impact on someone’s life.

In conclusion, helping others is crucial for our own personal growth and well-being, as well as for creating a more compassionate and supportive society. It may seem like a small act, but the impact it can have on someone’s life is immeasurable. So let’s all strive to make helping others a priority in our lives and spread kindness wherever we go.

3. Short Essay on Helping Others:

Helping others is a selfless act that brings about joy, contentment and fulfillment in one’s life. It is an innate human characteristic to extend our hands towards those who are in need and offer whatever assistance we can provide. Whether it be helping a friend with their studies, aiding a stranger on the street or volunteering at a local charity organization, lending a helping hand not only benefits the receiver but also brings about a sense of satisfaction and purpose to the giver.

In today’s fast-paced world, where individualism and self-centeredness are on the rise, acts of kindness and generosity towards others have become scarce. However, it is important for individuals, especially students, to recognize the importance of helping others and make it a part of their daily lives.

By helping others, we not only make a positive impact on their lives but also contribute towards building a better society. Small acts of kindness, such as volunteering at a homeless shelter or donating clothes to those in need, can go a long way in making a difference in someone’s life.

Additionally, by actively participating in community service and helping those less fortunate, students can develop a sense of empathy and compassion towards others, which are essential qualities for building strong relationships and fostering a more inclusive society.

Moreover, helping others can also have positive effects on one’s mental health. Research has shown that individuals who engage in acts of kindness and generosity tend to experience lower levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. This is because helping others releases feel-good hormones such as oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin, which can help reduce stress and improve overall well-being.

Furthermore, lending a helping hand can also serve as a learning experience for students. By actively engaging in community service or volunteering at organizations that work towards social causes, students can gain valuable skills such as teamwork, leadership, and communication

4. Short Essay on Motivation for helping others:

Motivation is a powerful force that can drive individuals to act in ways that benefit not only themselves, but also those around them. One of the most selfless and altruistic forms of motivation is the desire to help others.

Helping others can take many forms, from volunteering at a local charity or donating money to a worthy cause, to simply lending a helping hand to a friend or stranger in need. But why do some people have such a strong motivation to help others, while others seem more focused on their own interests?

Research has shown that there are various factors that can contribute to an individual’s motivation for helping others. These may include personal experiences, values and beliefs, cultural influences, and even genetics.

For some people, the desire to help others may stem from a personal experience of receiving help themselves. This can lead to a sense of gratitude and a desire to pay it forward by helping others in need.

Others may be driven by their values and beliefs, such as the belief in equal rights and opportunities for all individuals. These individuals may see helping others as not only a moral obligation, but also as a way to create a more just and equitable society.

Cultural influences can also play a role in an individual’s motivation for helping others. In some cultures, the concept of community and collective well-being is highly valued, which can lead to a strong desire to help others in need.

Lastly, research has also suggested that genetics may play a role in an individual’s level of empathy and compassion, which can in turn influence their motivation to help others.

In conclusion, the reasons for an individual’s motivation to help others are complex and multifaceted. But regardless of the underlying factors, one thing is clear: helping others brings about a sense of fulfillment and purpose that cannot be achieved through self-interest alone.

5. College essay on helping others:

As a college student, it is easy to get caught up in our own personal goals and obligations. With the pressure of maintaining good grades, participating in extracurricular activities, and building a strong resume for future job prospects, helping others may not always be at the top of our list. However, being selfless and giving back to those in need can have numerous benefits for college students.

First and foremost, helping others is a great way to gain perspective and appreciate the things we have in our own lives. Many of us are fortunate enough to have access to higher education, a privilege that not everyone in the world has. By volunteering our time and efforts to help those less fortunate, we can learn to be grateful for what we have and gain a deeper understanding of the struggles and challenges faced by others.

In addition, helping others can also provide valuable learning opportunities. Through volunteering or participating in community service projects, college students can develop important skills such as leadership, communication, and problem-solving. These skills are not only beneficial for personal growth but are also highly valued by potential employers. Volunteering can also expose students to diverse cultures and perspectives, promoting a more well-rounded and empathetic outlook on life.

Moreover, by helping others, we can make a positive impact in our communities and contribute to the greater good. Whether it is through organizing a fundraiser for a local charity or tutoring students in need, our actions can have a meaningful impact on the lives of those around us. By being active members of our communities, we can create a ripple effect of kindness and inspire others to do the same.

Lastly, helping others can also have a positive impact on our mental health. Studies have shown that acts of kindness and generosity can increase happiness, reduce stress and anxiety, and improve overall well-being

6. Essay on Kindness to others:

As human beings, we have the ability to choose how we treat others. One of the most powerful ways we can impact those around us is by displaying kindness. It may seem like a small gesture, but showing kindness to others can have a ripple effect that extends far beyond what we could ever imagine.

Kindness is defined as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. When we show kindness to others, we are displaying empathy and compassion towards them. It can be as simple as offering a smile, lending a helping hand, or listening without judgment.

The power of kindness lies in its ability to bring people together. In a world that is often divided by differences, acts of kindness can bridge the gap and create connections. It allows us to see beyond our own perspective and understand the struggles of others. It reminds us that we are all human and deserve love and respect.

Not only does kindness benefit those who receive it, but also those who give it. Studies have shown that acts of kindness can boost our mood, increase happiness, and reduce stress. It can even lead to a healthier heart and improved relationships.

In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in our own lives and forget about those around us. But kindness doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It can be as simple as holding the door open for someone, saying “thank you,” or offering a compliment. These small acts of kindness may seem insignificant, but they can make a huge difference in someone’s day.

Furthermore, kindness is not limited to only those we know. It can also be extended to strangers. In fact, random acts of kindness towards strangers can have an even greater impact as it shows that there are still good and caring people in the world.

7. Inspirational Story on helping others:

Once upon a time, in a small village surrounded by lush green fields and blooming flowers, there lived a young boy named Rohan. He was known for his kind heart and willingness to help others without expecting anything in return.

Rohan grew up with his parents who were farmers. They taught him the importance of hard work and helping those in need. Every day, Rohan would help his parents in the fields, and after finishing his chores, he would spend time with the villagers.

The villagers adored Rohan for his kind nature and willingness to lend a helping hand. They often shared stories of how he had helped them during difficult times. But little did they know that Rohan’s kindness was not limited to just humans.

One day, a severe storm hit the village and destroyed most of the crops. The villagers were worried about how they would survive without food. Rohan’s parents were also affected by the storm, and they had no other option but to leave their village in search of better opportunities.

Seeing his family and villagers in distress, Rohan knew he had to do something. He remembered how his parents had taught him to help others in need, and he decided to put that lesson into practice.

Rohan went from house to house, asking the villagers if they needed any help. He helped them fix their homes, gather whatever food was left after the storm, and even offered his own food supplies to those who needed it desperately.

However, Rohan’s helping nature did not end there. He ventured into the forest to find wild fruits and berries, which he distributed among the villagers. Some even called him a hero for his selfless acts.

But Rohan remained humble and continued to help without seeking recognition or praise. His kindness was contagious, and soon other villagers joined in to help each other during difficult times.

Slowly but steadily, the village was back on its feet, and the crops were growing again. Everyone in the village had learned an important lesson from Rohan – that helping others not only benefits them but also brings joy and satisfaction to oneself.

Years passed, and Rohan grew up to be a kind-hearted man who continued to help those in need. The villagers never forgot his acts of kindness, and they passed on his lessons to their children and grandchildren.

Rohan’s selfless actions had a lasting impact on the village, and it became known as the village of kind-hearted people who always helped each other. And Rohan’s name was remembered for generations to come as a symbol of kindness and compassion.

From this story, we can learn that helping others is not just about lending a hand during difficult times, but it is also about spreading kindness and making the world a better place. As they say, “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” So let us all follow Rohan’s example and make helping others a way of life

8. Essay on helping hand:

In our fast-paced and competitive world, the concept of a “helping hand” has become more important than ever before. In simple terms, a helping hand refers to an act of assisting or supporting someone in need. This could be in the form of physical, emotional, or financial support.

One might argue that the idea of extending a helping hand is not new and has been a part of our society for centuries. However, the changing dynamics of our global community have made it even more crucial for individuals to lend a helping hand to those around them.

In today’s world, where people are constantly chasing success and material possessions, there is a growing sense of isolation and loneliness among individuals. This is where the concept of a helping hand comes into play. By reaching out and supporting those in need, we not only make a positive impact on their lives but also create a sense of community and belonging.

Moreover, extending a helping hand is not only beneficial for the receiver, but it also has several benefits for the giver as well. It allows us to step outside of our own problems and focus on someone else’s needs. This can bring a sense of purpose and fulfillment in our lives. Additionally, helping others can also boost our self-esteem and confidence, knowing that we have made a positive difference in someone’s life.

Furthermore, a helping hand can also have a ripple effect. By assisting one individual, we may inspire them to pay it forward and help others in need. This creates a chain reaction of kindness and compassion, ultimately leading to a more caring and supportive society.

In today’s interconnected world, where news of tragedies and disasters spread rapidly, it is easy to feel overwhelmed and helpless. However, by extending a helping hand to those affected, we can make a tangible difference and contribute towards rebuilding communities and lives.

In conclusion, the concept of a helping hand is more relevant now than ever before. It not only benefits individuals in need but also has positive effects on our own well-being and society as a whole. So let us all strive to be someone’s helping hand and create a world where kindness and compassion are the norm rather than the exception. As the saying goes, “A helping hand is no farther than at the end of your sleeve.” So let us all extend our sleeves and lend a helping hand whenever possible. And remember, every act of kindness matters.

9. Short Essay on how helping others benefit you:

Helping others is a fundamental human trait that has been ingrained in our society for centuries. It is an act of kindness that not only benefits the recipient, but also brings immense joy and satisfaction to the person who is offering help. In this short essay, we will explore how helping others can have a positive impact on your life.

Firstly, helping others allows us to develop empathy and compassion. When we lend a helping hand to someone in need, we put ourselves in their shoes and try to understand their struggles. This helps us build stronger connections with others and become more understanding individuals. Moreover, by seeing the impact of our actions on others, we learn to appreciate what we have and not take things for granted.

Secondly, helping others can boost our self-esteem and confidence. When we use our skills and knowledge to assist someone, it gives us a sense of purpose and accomplishment. This, in turn, helps us feel more confident about ourselves and our abilities. It also reminds us that we are capable of making a positive impact on others’ lives.

Thirdly, helping others can improve our mental health. It is a well-known fact that acts of kindness can release feel-good hormones in our brain, such as oxytocin and endorphins. These hormones are responsible for making us feel happy and content. By helping others, we can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression levels in ourselves and others around us.

In addition to the above benefits, helping others also allows us to expand our social circle and make meaningful connections. When we volunteer or engage in acts of kindness, we meet like-minded individuals who share the same values as us. This can lead to long-lasting friendships and a sense of belonging.

Lastly, helping others is a powerful way to contribute to society and make a positive impact on the world. By giving back to our communities, we can create a ripple effect of kindness and inspire others to do the same. This can lead to a more empathetic and compassionate society, creating a better world for future generations.

10. Short Essay on Satisfaction Comes from Helping Others:

We’ve all heard the saying, “It’s better to give than receive.” And while it may sound cliché, there is truth to this statement. There is a certain sense of satisfaction that comes from helping others. Whether it be through volunteering, lending a helping hand, or simply being there for someone in need, the act of helping others brings a sense of fulfillment that cannot be replicated by any material possessions.

So why is it that helping others brings us satisfaction? One of the main reasons is that it gives us a sense of purpose. In today’s fast-paced world, we often get caught up in our own lives and forget about the needs of those around us. By taking the time to help someone else, we are reminded that there is more to life than just our own personal pursuits. We are able to make a positive impact on someone else’s life and in turn, feel good about ourselves.

Moreover, helping others allows us to step outside of our comfort zones and gain new perspectives. It’s easy to get stuck in our own routines and thought patterns, but when we help someone else, we are exposed to different ways of thinking and living. This can broaden our understanding of the world and also help us appreciate what we have.

Another aspect of helping others that brings satisfaction is the connections we make with people. When we lend a helping hand or volunteer, we are often working alongside like-minded individuals who share similar values and goals. These shared experiences can lead to meaningful relationships and a sense of belonging.

Furthermore, the act of helping others can also boost our own self-esteem and confidence. By making a positive impact on someone else’s life, we are reminded that we have something valuable to offer. This can give us a sense of purpose and worth that may have been lacking before.

In conclusion, while it may seem counterintuitive, true satisfaction does not come from acquiring material possessions or achieving personal success. It comes from the act of helping others and making a positive impact in their lives. So, let us strive to be kind, empathetic, and selfless individuals who find joy in giving rather than receiving. As Mahatma Gandhi once said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

11. Short Essay on My Greatest Passion is Helping others:

My greatest passion in life is helping others. For as long as I can remember, I have always had a strong desire to make a positive impact on the world around me. Growing up, my parents instilled in me the value of kindness and compassion towards others, and this has stayed with me throughout my life.

I believe that there is no greater joy than being able to bring a smile to someone’s face or make their day a little bit brighter. Whether it is through small acts of kindness, volunteering my time, or using my skills and knowledge to help those in need, I am always looking for ways to lend a helping hand.

One of the reasons why helping others is my greatest passion is because it allows me to connect with people from all walks of life. I have had the opportunity to work with individuals from different backgrounds, cultures, and experiences, and each interaction has taught me something valuable. By helping others, I am also able to learn and grow as a person.

Furthermore, helping others is not just about making a difference in someone else’s life; it also brings immense fulfillment and happiness in my own life. Knowing that I have made a positive impact, no matter how small, fills me with a sense of purpose and motivates me to continue helping others.

In today’s world, where there is so much negativity and division, I believe that acts of kindness and compassion towards others are more important than ever. My greatest passion for helping others will always be a driving force in my life, and I hope to inspire others to do the same. After all, as Mahatma Gandhi said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

Q: How do you write an essay about helping others?

A: To write an essay about helping others, start with an introduction that highlights the significance of the topic, provide examples and personal experiences to support your points, discuss the benefits of helping others, and conclude with a strong summary.

Q: Why is it important to help others essay?

A: An essay on why it’s important to help others emphasizes the value of compassion, empathy, and the positive impact that helping others can have on individuals, communities, and society as a whole.

Q: What is the importance of helping others?

A: The importance of helping others lies in fostering empathy, building stronger communities, and creating a more compassionate and interconnected world.

Q: Why am I passionate about helping others?

A: Your passion for helping others may be driven by the sense of fulfillment, the opportunity to make a meaningful difference in people’s lives, a desire to contribute to positive change, and personal values or experiences that underscore the importance of altruism and empathy.

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Talk about a time when you helped someone

Talk about a time when you helped someone or Describe a time when you helped a Friend You should say:

• Who was he?
• How did you know him?
• How did you help?
• Talk about a time when you helped someone?

Sample  1:-

Well, We all need help at some point in time in our lives. I also received help much time and help others too. When we help others, It makes us happy and polite, also shows our behaviour towards others. Today, I have asked to talk about a time when I helped someone else. I remember an incident when I was in 10th standard. I helped my needy friend who was my class fellow.

His name was Avneet Singh and belong to a poor family. He didn’t have enough money to buy books. And I used to receive a hundred rupees per month pocket money in those days. Usually, I spent that money on chocolates and  I love chocolates.

I decided to help him by giving all my pocket money to him. So, he could be able to buy books. I remember his face that how he became happy. Then, he bought books. Since then, we have been best friends. To be honest, I felt happy at that moment that feeling was extremely different which I never felt before.

I realized that some things can give more happiness than eating chocolates.

Sample 2:- Talk about a time when you helped someone

Well, it is a moral value to help someone in any difficult situation. And here I would like to talk about a time when I helped an unknown person. I describe it briefly.

About a couple of months ago, I was going to college. Actually, my college is located at some distance from my hometown. I go there via bus. Once a day, I took a bus at about 9:30 am to reach my destination. On this bus, I sit down on a seat and felt relaxed.

But suddenly, I felt something in my feet. I thought it is a paper or a small notebook of someone other. But when I stooped down to take it, I saw that it was a passport. I checked it and asked about it to all the people who were available on that bus. But everyone said no to this passport. that passport was of someone other.

I read the address on it and that address was of a village named “Malliana” which is nearby my hometown. I took it with me. Then, on the next day, I went to “Mariana” village and asked a villager about a home address which was available on that passport.

I easily found that home address. I went there and knocked on the door. A lady opened the door. I told her about the lost passport.

She felt immensely glad after listen to it from me. Because of that passport of her son. She gave respect to me and thanked me. I also felt highly elated by helping a human being.

All in all, that was the time when I helped an unknown person.

Sample 3:- Talk about a time when you helped someone

Although, I belong to an educated family consists of 5 members, my father. my mother, my two siblings and myself, We are all spending our lines with great enthusiasm.

Even though, I have remembered all the moral values given by my parents to me such as help others, respect to elders, love with the country and so on.

Generally, about two months ago, I had helped an old and feeble person. On one Sunday, I was sitting on my home’s roof in the evening. Then, I saw that an old person was wondering in my locality here and there.

Unfortunately, he was not looking well. It seemed that he was asking about an address or location.

Hence, I went outside and asked that person about the matter. He told me that he is looking for an address. At the same time, the weather was too hot because this happened during the summer season.

So, I took that old person to my house and gave water to him for drinking. He felt relax and cool. Then, I asked him about the address for which he was wandering. He told me everything.

Initially, after it, I went with him on my motorbike and dropped him at the same address which was that old person searching.

Eventually, I had helped him by dropping him at his destination. He blessed me a lot. I felt very much glad after seeing a smile on his face. I felt myself on the ninth cloud by happiness.

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IELTS FEVER

3 thoughts on “talk about a time when you helped someone”.

Pingback: January 2020 to April 2020 Cue Cards with Answers UpDated - IELTS FEVER

Hi , it happened with me when I was in 1 standard her name was Ardhya I gave her all money of my pocket money but when my mom asked me to show the piggy bank it was nothing so, first she asked where is it I told I gave all my pocket money to my best friend because she have to buy books 📚 my mother was very happy and I day when I want to buy 1 book 📖 but that time I don’t have money so I meet to my best friend she gave me some money I was happy I bought the book and we read it together 😊😊

i like sample 2 it is so nice

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Best Personal Essay Examples

Helping a friend in trouble.

910 words | 4 page(s)

Living in a society where everyone is concerned about their wellbeing as well as that of the other societal members is always encouraging. As underlined in the common good approach ethical framework, improving the welfare of others by doing things that uplift their lives is vital in ensuring that people impact societies positively. It is always my joy to help others whenever I am in a position to do so, as I would also expect people to lend their hand in case I find myself in trouble. One of the memorable times I helped someone was a year ago at the airport where I had a friend leaving for Texas. Most of the flights had been affected that day due to bad weather, and I bumped into one traveler known as Gabriel, a young man who was trying to convince one of the attendants how the rescheduling of his trip to the next day would see him suffer because he had no money left. I intervened to understand his exact concern and realized that he was a student in the U.S. who had connected a flight from New Haven, and was traveling to Brazil to be with his family during the winter break.

Being a student too, I easily related to his tribulations because it would be costly for him to get a hotel room for the night. Moreover, missing his flight the following morning would cost him his air ticket. As the norm with international students where all the financial support is usually rendered by parents back at home who have other children to fend too, his budget was highly constrained. He narrated to me that the only option he had was to stay in the airport’s waiting bay till the following day as he could not afford the ensuing cost. I empathized with him and tried to make him that such instances are inevitable in one’s life. His flight had been rescheduled to 10 am the following day so I suggested that he accompanies me to my apartment so that he would freshen up, sleep, and wake up early to prepare for the flight. At first, he appeared to suspect my generosity for malice and after some hesitation, he accepted my offer. We saw off my friend together as domestic flights had not been affected.

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We left the airport and went to the apartment where my brother and I welcomed him cordially, and it was evident on his face that he felt at home. My brother prepared a meal for us that we all enjoyed as my new friend was narrating his life at Yale University and how he loved life in America despite the high cost of living. During the time we shared our identities in social networks to enable us to check up on each other often. He told us that he was the first born in a family of five and his parents had sold up property to educate him. As a result, he had to spend any money sent to him sparingly to ensure that he did not burden the parents. The cancellation of his flight was a real headache as he had already arrived at the airport and the money he had was budgeted. He wanted to have some cash to help him buy some perks for his sisters once he touched down in Rio. Additionally, studying in the U.S. is highly regarded in his village and he did not want to be broke as it would attract ridicule. When it was time to sleep, we shared one bed with my brother so that he could sleep comfortably on his own.

I woke up at 5 am in the next day to prepare breakfast and ensure that he had enough time to catch his flight. My brother was supposed to leave the house early for work so he could not drive him to the airport. However, he left some money to help me pay for Gabriel’s cab. After breakfast we both readied ourselves to leave the house, I was supposed to go to school and him to the airport. We bade goodbye and wished him a safe flight as he shed tears and expressed his appreciation, promising to get in touch. After a few hours, he called me and assured that he had boarded the plane and would let me know when he arrived in Rio. Later in the day after I returned home from school, I found a note he had left in the wardrobe saying that he had never met a stranger who was so helpful in his life. He vowed to repay the gratitude one day. Gabriel called after two days, full of ecstasy and requested me to speak with his parents on the phone, and they were pleased by my humble gesture. Our friendship has strengthened and he has hosted me several times during my periodic trips to Connecticut. Moreover, his mother gave him a traditional Brazilian jewelry to bring me as a souvenir to help me remember them in my life. This scenario has remained my favorite as through it I have learned the importance of helping others. If I had not assisted Gabriel, he would not have been able to buy presents for his siblings. Again, he would not have had the confidence needed to make his village mates recognize the significance of studying hard to make it to a foreign land as the U.S.

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A Time I Helped Someone Essay

This essay sample on A Time I Helped Someone Essay provides all necessary basic information on this matter, including the most common “for and against” arguments. Below are the introduction, body and conclusion parts of this essay.

It was back in first grade, we had a big house, my parents were doctors and I’m studying In a good school. I was rich back then. When I first met this half Chinese person named William 1. Mm, I TLD care at all.

My dad hired him for the reason to work for our family. For one thing, he drives me and my siblings to school. I guess he was a driver. I always see him cleaning off the leaves from the roof, washing the cars, and watering the garden. I didn’t talk to him; I Just know he is getting paid for what he does.

After school, he came to pick us up and I suddenly heard, “Your name Ingrain, right? ” I nodded and gave him a smile.

I made a friend with a 30-year old man, It was unbelievable but I TLD think that way. He was someone I could talk to, I could play with, and he’s the kind of person you can get along so easily. One time, I saw him by the window watering the orchids and plants. I went downstairs to look how he does the watering. He saw me and said “Hi there! ” I smiled and went closer to him. “What’s that? ” I asked.

Proficient in: Philosophy

“ Have been using her for a while and please believe when I tell you, she never fail. Thanks Writer Lyla you are indeed awesome ”

“It’s a fertilizer. ” He replied. “Why do you put that?

When I Help Someone Essay

I asked again. “It’s for the plants to grow healthy. ” I keep on asking questions but he never gets tired of answering. So basically, I was a kid who needs answers. He was like a teacher and he’s a good artist too, Whenever I have projects, he would give me his time to do it. When he picks me up at school, and by the time I finished my homework, I would go to him and spend time asking and learning new things from him. He was a good man after all. William was a poor guy. He has a wife and four children to feed. My dad let him move and build a simple house on a lot we owned.

With that, he wont have to pay any rent. I grew up and still he was there, still working for our family, still a driver. My dad find him very loyal and I do too. I have a lot more thinking than before but I’m still a kid to him and our friendship grew even more. At school, we were waiting for my sister in the car, and all we do is to debate. We would talk about certain things and before you know it, the subject changes. That time I knew I was killing the time and having fun. He didn’t finish school but he knows a lot of things. “Why do you know these things?

I asked him one time when he was at the garden. All he said was, “It’s all about experience. ” And I was wondering to myself, “What’s that mean? ” It was confusing at first but I finally get the message. Just Like me, I learn new things from asking especially with him. I never thought It would be that fun. I help him bathe the dogs; I would join him to buy something my mom asked. He was Just hired as a driver but he still gave time and effort to do the things he’s not supposed to. He was truly amazing. I know a guy like him has some troubles too.

He once told me, he’s son got sick and can’t afford medicine. I said, now that my parents are doctors, they would be glad to help you. Sunday night, I was watching TV at my parent’s room and we suddenly heard a doorbell. “Ingrain, get It. ” My dad ordered. I stood up, walking down the stairs thinking, “It’s 10:30 in the evening, who could it be. ” I picked up the door and saw William by the gate. He looks alone and I wonder why he’s here in the middle of the night. I open the gate and he wasn’t alone, I saw him carrying his child. “What’s wrong? ” I asked. “Is your dad there? Fee” He looks very troubled. “My son is sick so can you ask your dad If you could check him up? ” “Okay, you better come Inside. ” I said. I hurried up to my parent’s room Ana tell teem Williams nerve. My ciao chicken Nils son Ana sake me to get ten medicine from the box. I know my dad would help because he was the kind of doctor who helps the person in need. I gave him the medicine we have at home and the good thing is he doesn’t have to pay. I was happy for him and hoped for his son to get well. Unfortunately, the next morning, it was Monday; it’s time for him to drive us to school.

I asked him about his son, “it’s not looking good. ” “Oh. ” I said sadly. “Can I borrow some money? ” I know I heard him right but I asked myself why. Mimi see, my son badly sick and I can’t afford money. ” He added. I know I get allowances from my parents and I barely use it, but I didn’t expect those words to be hearing from him. My brother and sister were coming and I said, “I’ll give you later after school. ” Definitely it was hesitation I felt. My day starts, thinking about Williams problem. Out of the blue, he Just asked a kid like me for money.

I came home and look by the window and saw him wiping the car, and I made a decision. I came downstairs and gave him an envelope. “Thank you very much; I’ll pay you back little by little. ” He really looks happy but still troubled. “Sure, but don’t think about it that much, I can wait you know. ” I replied and he smiled. I was kind of happy that day. I don’t know why but I was happy I did something good. At school, the teacher always teaches us about helping people and I never thought I would be doing that. I never told my parents about this nor did William.

It was a secret between us. The reason I didn’t tell my parents was there was no need for them to know, it’s what I thought. It was time for me to act on my own, I need to make decision. He needs the money more than I do, even though I’m Just a kid, he needed my help. It’s been nine years now, I grew and grew. William was there, watching me grow up. I still help him, even though it’s from own things, I still would find a good way to help him. I didn’t regret the first time I helped him. I’m Just happy I was helping someone and giving smiles to him and to his Emily.

I still didn’t tell my parents, I know what I did, what I decided was right. When Christmas comes, I would give away my old stuff, my old clothes to him. Besides, I will not use it anymore, and his children need it. He’s still a driver and I would still ask him questions, still learning new things from him and still be helping him. That one day I helped William taught me something, something William said, “It’s all about experience. ” I finally know the answer. There may be new challenges to come but things here always go back the way it should be.

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Essay on A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed for Students

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Essay on A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed: The popular saying “A friend in need is a friend indeed” goes a long way. It means that someone who helps us when we are in trouble is a true friend. This proverb is based on the idea that a true friend will help us when we need them, even if it is difficult for them to do so.

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Long and Short Essay on A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed in English

A friend is of much importance for everyone especially in the bad times. Actually, we know the truth about a friend in our bad times when we really need them and their help. Good friends always help us and be with us in our all good or bad times however selfish and mean friends be with us only in our good times and they left us in bad times when we really need them.

‘A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed’ is a proverb which students can be assigned by their teachers in the classroom to write the meaning, paragraph, short essay, long essay or their own views on this topic. Now-a-days, essay or paragraph writing is one of the good strategies of enhancing student’s skill of English writing.

It is commonly followed by the teachers in the schools and colleges for same purpose. Following are some best friend paragraphs , on topic A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed short essays and long essays on A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed to help students in completing their task in the classroom. All the ‘A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed’ essay are written very simply. So, you can select any essay on A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed according to your need and requirement:

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed Essay 100 words

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed is a famous proverb which tells us about the true friends in life. True friends are those who really help us in our bad times of the life. They never left us alone, they motivate us and always support whenever we need them. True friends become very special in our life and remain with us. It is true friends who prove this proverb ‘A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed’. Good friends always support in our difficulties; for whom it is not necessary to be from same field, same class or same cast. True friends always listen to you and correct the mistakes you do to bring at right path. True friendship is a most trusted and important relationship among all relationships in the life.

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed Essay 150 words

It is very necessary for us to distinguish between the bad and good friends to get prevented from being cheated and get benefited all through the life respectively. A friend who remain same in all conditions (good or bad) and support heartily, really become the true friend forever. A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed is a most famous old proverb which means that a friend who help us when we need him really become the true friend.

A true friend never see the differences (whether financial racial, cultural or traditional), he/she just become ready to help in any condition. A true friend always gives and never has feeling to take in return. Every one of us needs someone who can help us anytime whenever we need him/her. He/she not only helps us but exchanges good ideas, views and thoughts, sorrows, hopes, joys and other feelings. He/she never cheats and always cares for us. She/He never become arrogant and never changes on getting wealth and power.

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed Essay 200 words

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed is a famous proverb which tells us about the qualities of a true friend. True friends to anyone are God gifted and become precious gifts whole life. They have very special role in the life of their friends. Some cheater friends have decreased the level of faith in friendship however they can never spoil this true relationship. It is more valuable than other relationships in the life. Some people do not make friendship because of the fear of getting cheater friends as they cannot recognize them earlier. Generally, we say friend to all those whom we talk but true friend becomes different and very special.

Getting true friend is a blessing from God and every one of us don’t have such friends. True friendship becomes noble and great but very rare. Having a good friend is a most precious earning and most precious possessions of the life. Without having a true friend our life is dry and dull. True friends give good and safe company to us and make our life happy, interesting and worth living. He/she understands us and our all needs. They appreciate and motivate us in our bad circumstances and try to solve problems by sharing all the joys and misfortunes. Become very good counselor and guide in our life as well as the source of joy, strength and courage. They never left us in darkness even they become rich, prosperous and powerful. Thus, true friends always prove the proverb ‘a friend in need is a friend indeed’.

Also Check: Paragraph on Friendship

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed Essay 250 words

The proverb, ‘A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed’, stands as a standard of the true relationship of friends. The meaning of this proverb is that a person who helps in our need or difficulty is a true friend. From childhood till the end of life, we come across various people with different qualities and behaviour. Some of them become common friends; some good friends and only few or only one becomes a true friend. Over a period of time some get away and some remain close to us who become true ones. Sometimes, we get confused and cannot be sure that whether someone is good or bad and she/she can be a true friend or just fair-weather friends.

Some greedy people develop terms with only influential people for getting benefit however it become their big mistake as this trick can never bless them with true friends. A true friendship can be test in the time of difficulties. Whereas, greedy friend gets disappear in the difficult times. They give many excuses of being at distance from us. A true friend always becomes close to his/her friend even in deep trouble and always concerned about the welfare of him.

True friends always make every effort to help and keep their friends happy all time. We can see many examples of true friendships from ancient time till date such as friendship of Rama and Sugriva, Krishna and Kuchela (Sudama), Duryodhana and Karna, etc. Such friends become life’s greatest blessing and lifetime achievement. This proverb does not only tell the nature of a true friend but also give us way to choose good friends.

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed Essay 300 words

It is considered as the college life becomes the happiest time of the life as we become surrounded by the good friends and enjoy a lot. Good friends live together happily and participate in the activities together. The proverb A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed indicates the quality of a true friend. In the very starting, it is hard to recognize the quality of a friend but not so tough. This proverb tells us that people who are willing to help you in the crisis time are really true ones and one of the blessings of God for you than those who just want to stay in your fun time.

A true friend always gives full support whenever we are in need. We cannot recognize that whether a friend is good or bad but during difficult times they can naturally be recognized. Every one of us generally needs a friend who can help us during bad times and not just for fun. Sometimes the condition really becomes very worst and we do not get any way to be out of that, in that case we need help from others. This is the time when we miss a friend who can give us help and take us out of the difficulty. True friends are really of much importance; whenever we become absent someday in the school, they discuss important topics and helps us with all the notes and materials done in the class.

No one can really help us like a true friend as they share all the highs and lows of the life. Thus, we learn from this proverb that it is only real friend who appears with us in all time; but those who just stay with us in happy times are not good friends. True friends always give good memories and reasons to be in friendship forever.

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed Essay 400 words

A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed is a proverb which indicates about the quality of a real friend. Sometimes, the true relationship with a friend is much influential than other relationships. Real friends become lifelong friends. Friends are good or bad can realized during the difficult time of the life. True friends always remain in close whereas cheater left away as they only want to enjoy in happy times. Whenever we get problems, we miss someone special who can take us away from problems and it can be done only by the best friend. It is not necessary that a good friend can be only from outside. A good friend can be one of the family members like mother, father, sister, brother, etc.

Good people don’t like to have crowd in their life; they have only few friends but true and trustworthy. They always maintain a true relationship in friendship and are ready to help anytime. Never judge their friends as they have quality to give not take in order to build a healthy and long lasting friendship. True friends are trustworthy, honest , loyal, empathetic, self confident, supportive, non-judgmental and most importantly a good listener.

If we earn a good friend in life, we earn the most precious thing. We can share to them anything and any secret of the life. Having a good friend is very necessary to all of us in such a hectic life so that we can release the mind pressure of study, job, business, family, etc by talking to them. A true friend may have variety of good qualities however having basic qualities are necessary to be engaged into the good friendship. We should not be hurry in making friendship in order to avoid stranger and cheater friends. We should take proper time in understanding the friends all around us and choose someone special for our friendship who may lead us ahead in life.

May be, you get true friendship very quickly, however, the relationship build over long time become long lasting and valuable. Being in true friendship for long is much harder than finding good friends. Not everyone blessed with true friendship, only few lucky people blessed to have this true relationship. A true friend becomes very polite (sometimes hard when required) and soft-spoken with gentle manners. He/she never show dominance in the relation and never become selfish and mean minded. True friends never get benefits of our innocence and softness. They always protect us to go at wrong path and involved in the wrong habits.

Essay on A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed FAQs

What is the paragraph 'a friend in need is indeed'.

A friend in need is indeed means a true friend is someone who helps when you're in trouble.

What is the 'friend in need' paragraph?

'Friend in need' paragraph describes the idea that a real friend is there when you need help.

How do you make sentences 'a friend in need is a friend indeed'?

To make sentences like 'a friend in need is a friend indeed,' express the importance of friends who support you during tough times.

What is the need of a friend in life essay?

The essay explains why having a friend in life is important, especially when you need support and help.

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Home — Essay Samples — Sociology — Friendship — Narrative about Friendship

Narrative About Friendship

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Published: Mar 20, 2024

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Essay on Helping Someone

Students are often asked to write an essay on Helping Someone in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Helping Someone

What is helping.

Helping means giving aid or support to someone who needs it. It can be as simple as sharing your lunch with a friend or as big as helping a neighbor fix their house. When we help, we make someone’s life a little easier.

Why Should We Help?

Helping others is a good thing to do. It makes us feel good about ourselves and brings happiness to others. It also strengthens our connections with people. We learn to understand and care for others when we help them.

Ways to Help

There are many ways to help others. You can give your time, share your skills, or donate things you don’t need. Even a small act of kindness can make a big difference in someone’s life.

Helping and Learning

When we help others, we also learn new things. We learn about people’s lives and their problems. This helps us become more understanding and compassionate. It also helps us grow as individuals.

250 Words Essay on Helping Someone

The joy of helping someone.

Helping someone is a noble act. It brings joy not only to the person who gets help but also to the one who offers it. It’s a way of showing kindness and love to others. It can be as simple as lending a pencil to a friend who forgot theirs or as big as helping an old person cross the street.

Helping in Everyday Life

Helping others is part of our everyday life. At school, we can help our classmates understand a hard topic. At home, we can help our parents by doing small tasks like cleaning our room or washing dishes. We can help our friends by listening to them when they are sad. All these acts of help make us better people.

Helping Builds Relationships

When we help someone, we build strong relationships with them. People remember those who help them in their time of need. They feel grateful and are likely to help us back when we need it. It’s like a circle of kindness that keeps going.

Helping Makes Us Happy

Helping others also makes us feel good about ourselves. It gives us a sense of purpose and satisfaction. When we see the smile on the faces of those we help, it makes us happy too. It’s a feeling that money can’t buy.

In conclusion, helping someone is a beautiful act of kindness. It brings joy, builds relationships, and makes us happy. So, let’s always be ready to lend a helping hand to those in need. Remember, even the smallest act of kindness can make a big difference in someone’s life.

500 Words Essay on Helping Someone

Understanding the act of helping, the importance of helping others.

Helping others is important for many reasons. Firstly, it makes the person you’re helping feel good. When someone is in a tough spot and you lend a hand, it can make their day a little brighter. It can give them hope and show them that they are not alone.

Secondly, helping others can also make you feel good. It can give you a sense of purpose and make you feel happy. Studies have shown that people who help others often feel happier and more satisfied with their lives.

Ways to Help Others

One way to help is by listening. If a friend is having a hard time, simply being there to listen can be a huge help. You don’t always need to offer advice or solutions. Sometimes, people just need someone to hear them out.

Another way to help is by doing small acts of kindness. This could be helping an elderly neighbor with their groceries, picking up litter in your local park, or making a card for a sick friend. Small acts of kindness can have a big impact.

The Impact of Helping Others

Helping others can also help to build stronger relationships. When you help someone, it shows them that you care. This can strengthen your relationship with that person and build trust.

In conclusion, helping others is a powerful act of kindness. It can make a big difference in someone’s life and can also make you feel good. There are many ways to help others, from listening to doing small acts of kindness. Helping others can create a ripple effect of kindness in your community and help to build stronger relationships. So, the next time you see someone in need, don’t hesitate to lend a hand. You never know what a big difference it could make.

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How to write a narrative essay [Updated 2023]

A narrative essay is an opportunity to flex your creative muscles and craft a compelling story. In this blog post, we define what a narrative essay is and provide strategies and examples for writing one.

What is a narrative essay?

Similarly to a descriptive essay or a reflective essay, a narrative essay asks you to tell a story, rather than make an argument and present evidence. Most narrative essays describe a real, personal experience from your own life (for example, the story of your first big success).

Alternately, your narrative essay might focus on an imagined experience (for example, how your life would be if you had been born into different circumstances). While you don’t need to present a thesis statement or scholarly evidence, a narrative essay still needs to be well-structured and clearly organized so that the reader can follow your story.

When you might be asked to write a narrative essay

Although less popular than argumentative essays or expository essays, narrative essays are relatively common in high school and college writing classes.

The same techniques that you would use to write a college essay as part of a college or scholarship application are applicable to narrative essays, as well. In fact, the Common App that many students use to apply to multiple colleges asks you to submit a narrative essay.

How to choose a topic for a narrative essay

When you are asked to write a narrative essay, a topic may be assigned to you or you may be able to choose your own. With an assigned topic, the prompt will likely fall into one of two categories: specific or open-ended.

Examples of specific prompts:

• Write about the last vacation you took.
• Write about your final year of middle school.

Examples of open-ended prompts:

• Write about a time when you felt all hope was lost.
• Write about a brief, seemingly insignificant event that ended up having a big impact on your life.

A narrative essay tells a story and all good stories are centered on a conflict of some sort. Experiences with unexpected obstacles, twists, or turns make for much more compelling essays and reveal more about your character and views on life.

If you’re writing a narrative essay as part of an admissions application, remember that the people reviewing your essay will be looking at it to gain a sense of not just your writing ability, but who you are as a person.

In these cases, it’s wise to choose a topic and experience from your life that demonstrates the qualities that the prompt is looking for, such as resilience, perseverance, the ability to stay calm under pressure, etc.

It’s also important to remember that your choice of topic is just a starting point. Many students find that they arrive at new ideas and insights as they write their first draft, so the final form of your essay may have a different focus than the one you started with.

How to outline and format a narrative essay

Even though you’re not advancing an argument or proving a point of view, a narrative essay still needs to have a coherent structure. Your reader has to be able to follow you as you tell the story and to figure out the larger point that you’re making.

You’ll be evaluated on is your handling of the topic and how you structure your essay. Even though a narrative essay doesn’t use the same structure as other essay types, you should still sketch out a loose outline so you can tell your story in a clear and compelling way.

To outline a narrative essay, you’ll want to determine:

• how your story will start
• what points or specifics that you want to cover
• how your story will end
• what pace and tone you will use

In the vast majority of cases, a narrative essay should be written in the first-person, using “I.” Also, most narrative essays will follow typical formatting guidelines, so you should choose a readable font like Times New Roman in size 11 or 12. Double-space your paragraphs and use 1” margins.

To get your creative wheels turning, consider how your story compares to archetypes and famous historical and literary figures both past and present. Weave these comparisons into your essay to improve the quality of your writing and connect your personal experience to a larger context.

How to write a narrative essay

Writing a narrative essay can sometimes be a challenge for students who typically write argumentative essays or research papers in a formal, objective style. To give you a better sense of how you can write a narrative essay, here is a short example of an essay in response to the prompt, “Write about an experience that challenged your view of yourself.”

Narrative essay example

Even as a child, I always had what people might call a reserved personality. It was sometimes framed as a positive (“Sarah is a good listener”) and at other times it was put in less-than-admiring terms (“Sarah is withdrawn and not very talkative”). It was the latter kind of comments that caused me to see my introverted nature as a drawback and as something I should work to eliminate. That is, until I joined my high school’s student council.

The first paragraph, or introduction, sets up the context, establishing the situation and introducing the meaningful event upon which the essay will focus.

The other four students making up the council were very outspoken and enthusiastic. I enjoyed being around them, and I often agreed with their ideas. However, when it came to overhauling our school’s recycling plan, we butted heads. When I spoke up and offered a different point of view, one of my fellow student council members launched into a speech, advocating for her point of view. As her voice filled the room, I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. I wondered if I should try to match her tone, volume, and assertiveness as a way to be heard. But I just couldn’t do it—it’s not my way, and it never has been. For a fleeting moment, I felt defeated. But then, something in me shifted.

In this paragraph, the writer goes into greater depth about how her existing thinking brought her to this point.

I reminded myself that my view was valid and deserved to be heard. So I waited. I let my fellow council member speak her piece and when she was finished, I deliberately waited a few moments before calmly stating my case. I chose my words well, and I spoke them succinctly. Just because I’m not a big talker doesn’t mean I’m not a big thinker. I thought of the quotation “still waters run deep” and I tried to embody that. The effect on the room was palpable. People listened. And I hadn’t had to shout my point to be heard.

This paragraph demonstrates the turn in the story, the moment when everything changed. The use of the quotation “still waters run deep” imbues the story with a dash of poetry and emotion.

We eventually reached a compromise on the matter and concluded the student council meeting. Our council supervisor came to me afterward and said: “You handled that so well, with such grace and poise. I was very impressed.” Her words in that moment changed me. I realized that a bombastic nature isn't necessarily a powerful one. There is power in quiet, too. This experience taught me to view my reserved personality not as a character flaw, but as a strength.

The final paragraph, or conclusion, closes with a statement about the significance of this event and how it ended up changing the writer in a meaningful way.

Narrative essay writing tips

1. pick a meaningful story that has a conflict and a clear “moral.”.

If you’re able to choose your own topic, pick a story that has meaning and that reveals how you became the person your are today. In other words, write a narrative with a clear “moral” that you can connect with your main points.

2. Use an outline to arrange the structure of your story and organize your main points.

Although a narrative essay is different from argumentative essays, it’s still beneficial to construct an outline so that your story is well-structured and organized. Note how you want to start and end your story, and what points you want to make to tie everything together.

3. Be clear, concise, concrete, and correct in your writing.

You should use descriptive writing in your narrative essay, but don’t overdo it. Use clear, concise, and correct language and grammar throughout. Additionally, make concrete points that reinforce the main idea of your narrative.

4. Ask a friend or family member to proofread your essay.

No matter what kind of writing you’re doing, you should always plan to proofread and revise. To ensure that your narrative essay is coherent and interesting, ask a friend or family member to read over your paper. This is especially important if your essay is responding to a prompt. It helps to have another person check to make sure that you’ve fully responded to the prompt or question.

Frequently Asked Questions about narrative essays

A narrative essay, like any essay, has three main parts: an introduction, a body and a conclusion. Structuring and outlining your essay before you start writing will help you write a clear story that your readers can follow.

The first paragraph of your essay, or introduction, sets up the context, establishing the situation and introducing the meaningful event upon which the essay will focus.

In the vast majority of cases, a narrative essay should be written in the first-person, using “I.”

The 4 main types of essays are the argumentative essay, narrative essay, exploratory essay, and expository essay. You may be asked to write different types of essays at different points in your education.

Most narrative essays will be around five paragraphs, or more, depending on the topic and requirements. Make sure to check in with your instructor about the guidelines for your essay. If you’re writing a narrative essay for a college application, pay close attention to word or page count requirements.

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Relationships

Listen rather than offering advice.

It can be tough to know exactly what to do when a friend is going through a crisis. Whether they're going through a breakup , a death in their family, a health issue, or something else entirely, you'll want to give them as much support as possible. But the right words don't always come to mind. Even when you're trying to help, it can feel like you're getting it all wrong.

It's important not to judge yourself for being a bit unsure of what to say in these moments. "It can often feel intimidating or uncomfortable," Allie Friedmann, LCSW, a licensed clinical social worker and therapist, tells Bustle. People can isolate themselves during tough times, Friedmann says, or cope differently than you might have predicated, which further complicates the issue.

"When trying to help a friend , it is important to meet that friend where [they are]," Friedmann says. "You may want to solve the problem or want your friend's negative feelings to go away, but if [they are] not ready, then your efforts could feel like an attack or dismissal, rather than supportive."

Here’s how to support a friend going through a difficult time, according to experts.

1 Offer To Hang Out

If you don't know what to do or say, start by hanging out. "Just being there, without expectation or distraction, means a lot," Rev. Connie L. Habash, MA, LMFT , a licensed marriage and family therapist, tells Bustle. "Many people don’t take the time to simply be present with each other, even if it’s just washing dishes together, taking a walk, or hanging out on the couch."

It's so simple yet so effective. Give them your attention, Habash says, and they will feel valued, loved, and cared for.

2 Be There & Listen

If you're trying to give advice and coming up empty, that's actually OK. "When someone we love is going through pain and sorrow, we feel pressure to have to say something, to come up with a way to make them feel better ," Habash says. But often it's best to just listen and let them express themselves.

"They need to know that you can tolerate being with them in their pain, and that someone understands what they’re going through," Habash says.

3 Save The Advice For Later

In the same vein, resist the urge to offer advice or find solutions to their problems, Friedmann says, unless they want that.

"Listen first, with curiosity and without judgment," she suggests. "It is uncomfortable to sit with people's negative emotions, but offering solutions without being asked can often feel like you are dismissing [their] feelings, rather than creating a space for them to experience what it is that's hurting them."

Not to mention, things like breakups and deaths can't be fixed. "Showing we care enough to listen without an agenda," Friedmann says, "is how we can support friends going through these experiences."

4 Validate Their Feelings

One way to respond without offering advice is by validating their feelings. If they tell you about their problem and say they're scared, Friedmann says, try responding with, "That is so hard and scary. It makes so much sense why you feel this way given what's going on. I'm here to listen."

There are lots of ways you can be a better listener to your friend. Try reflecting back what's been said by offering a quick recap of what they've shared so far, in a natural way. "Reflection and summary help convey to your friend that you are both listening and hearing what [they are] saying," Friedmann says.

5 Avoid Using Clichés

There's lots of advice out there that sounds good but isn't actually very helpful, which is why it's often best to simply say, "I don't know what to say" if you're at a loss, Salina Schmidgall, M.Ed, PLPC, NCC , a national certified counselor, tells Bustle.

It's refreshing and better than falling back on a tired cliché like, "There are plenty of fish in the sea" or "It's all going to be OK," Schmidgall says.

6 Run Errands For Them

If your friend is busy dealing with a crisis, offering to help with their everyday chores can come as a huge relief.

"Doing the laundry or running to the grocery store for [them] may ease up their stress and make it easier to deal with their troubles," Habash says. "It will also convey how much you care about them." Send a quick text and see if they need anything, or choose a time to stop by with a few grocery staples. It's a good way to show you care.

7 Ask How You Can Help

If you're unsure how to support a friend, ask what they'd prefer.

"Oftentimes when we help a friend who is going through a crisis [...] we tend to care and support them in a way that we would want to be cared for and supported," Dr. Holly N. Sawyer, PhD, MS, LPC, NCC, CAADC , a licensed psychotherapist with Life First Therapy, LLC, tells Bustle. But they may want something entirely different.

While you may need to vent and cry, they may crave a little time alone, or vice versa. Focus on who your friend is as a person, and cater your response to them. If they aren't sure what they need, it's best not to force them to do something, even if it seems like it would help. Being there is enough, Sawyer says.

8 Keep Checking In

If you haven't heard from your friend, don't hesitate to send a text to find out how they are. And keep doing so, possibly even longer than seems necessary.

"We shouldn’t be scared to check in with our friend and simply ask if they want to talk about it or not," Vicki Smith, LPC , a licensed professional counselor and psychotherapist, tells Bustle. Sometimes people need to talk about their feelings for months, Smith says.

But don't push them to talk if they don't want to. "If we push, the person goes into their shell like a turtle or snaps at us to back off," Smith says. "That is simply a signal they aren’t ready. But it doesn’t hurt to keep showing them you are there when they are ready."

9 Ask Open-Ended Questions

Another way to find out what they need is by asking open-ended questions, Friedmann says. This will create space for them to share how they're feeling and let you know what they need.

It can also be comforting, if they're OK with it, to use non-verbal body language while you're chatting in order to convey care, Friedmann says. Think about placing your arm on their shoulder, offering a hug, or sitting close to them on the couch.

10 Take Care Of Yourself

There are a lot of nice things to do for a friend going through a hard time. However, sometimes this leads into you neglecting your own needs, which doesn’t help anyone.

“It may sound counterintuitive when someone you love is struggling, but they need to know you're alright,” Nicole Richardson, LPC-S, LMFT-S , licensed marriage and family therapist, tells Bustle. As she point out, when you’re on an airplane, they tell you in an emergency to put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others. “When someone you care about is struggling, taking care of yourself allows the person who is struggling to get your best, which is what they need,” says Richardson.

11 Leave Space For Joy

Depending on the situation your friend is going through, it doesn’t have to be all straight-faced seriousness 24/7. Sometimes a little lighthearted distraction is all a person needs to lift their spirits, even if only for a moment.

“Even in the darkest times, there are opportunities for laughter and light,” offers Richardson. “It's OK to tell a joke or be silly sometimes. If your friend isn't ready to laugh, that's OK — they just aren't ready yet.” What’s important is that you’re there for them, and making them smile will come along eventually.

12 Get Moving With Them

Ever go on one of those “mental health walks” TikTok loves so much (“going on a silly little walk for my silly mental health”)? Taking a second to get outside and clear your head can do wonders for the psyche.

“When someone is suffering, it can be important to move around and get some air,” says Richardson. “Offer to go for a walk with them or even a long drive. Fresh air and sunlight can be powerful reminders of life, especially if you can get in nature.” If they’re feeling really down, your friend might not want to initiate a walk or a drive — that’s why it’s important to have an encouraging friend (aka you) who can help motivate them to get up and going.

There's no right answer when it comes to helping a friend in crisis. But you can certainly show how much you care by finding ways to be there for them.

Allie Friedmann, LCSW , licensed clinical social worker and therapist

Rev. Connie L. Habash, MA, LMFT , licensed marriage and family therapist

Salina Schmidgall, M.Ed, PLPC, NCC , national certified counselor

Dr. Holly N. Sawyer, PhD, MS, LPC, NCC, CAADC , licensed psychotherapist with Life First Therapy, LLC

Vicki Smith, LPC , licensed professional counselor and psychotherapist

Nicole Richardson, LPC-S, LMFT-S , licensed marriage and family therapist

This article was originally published on Feb. 22, 2020

Au Café ( c 1875-77) by Edgar Degas. © The Fitzwilliam Museum, Cambridge

How to support a struggling friend

Sometimes it’s hard to know what to say or do. use these five strategies for providing effective emotional support.

by Elise Kalokerinos   + BIO

is a senior lecturer in psychology and co-director of the Functions of Emotions in Everyday Life Lab at the University of Melbourne. She studies how people manage their emotions, and the emotions of others, as they navigate their daily lives.

Edited by Christian Jarrett

Listen to this Guide.

Need to know

Your friend is devastated. She’s just lost her job and looks like she’s about to burst into tears in the middle of the busy coffee shop. You don’t know what to do. You want to help her, but what do you say in this horrible situation? How do you make her feel better right now, and how can you help her get through the tough time to come?

We’ve all been in situations like this, both big and small and everything in between: from a friend burning the food at their dinner party, to struggling with the loss of a loved one; from missing the bus to work, to enduring a marriage breakdown. Common wisdom suggests that a problem shared is a problem halved. We really want to help, yet we don’t quite have the words or the tactics. You might have felt yourself freeze in these moments, paralysed by the thought that anything you say or do could be a little awkward, or even make things worse.

Being supportive isn’t easy

Research shows that many people don’t really know what works best to help their friends effectively. Moreover, the support we do provide, such as giving advice, is often ineffective. Part of the challenge is that there are just so many possible ways to intervene. A survey of the methods that people used to manage their friends’ emotions identified 378 distinct strategies, including allowing the other person to vent their emotions, acting silly to make the other person laugh, and helping to rationalise the other person’s decisions. Given this large variety of strategies, it’s no wonder that deciding what to do when you have a friend in tears can be a little overwhelming.

Providing support is a skill that can be learned

The good news is that there are evidence-based support strategies you can learn that will help you provide more effective support to your friends. What’s more, providing support to your friends is good both for them and for you. Receiving social support from friends has benefits: in general, people who are supported tend to be more mentally and physically healthy. This might be because support from our friends and family is a strong buffer against the stress caused by tough times. Giving social support to friends also has benefits: when we support another person, it helps to strengthen our relationship with that person, and it makes us feel better (with the benefits being even greater when we feel like we’ve done a good job helping).

In this Guide, I will take you through five strategies to help you provide more effective emotional support to those who are struggling. For each strategy, I’ll give an example to help you see what this might look like in practice. These five strategies are broadly applicable but, later in the Guide, I’ll also cover some caveats to keep in mind.

Resist the urge to downplay your friend’s problems

Your friend Alex messages you, upset that he received a B in a college class. Your first impulse is to ignore the message – you think Alex is overreacting. He can handle this non-event on his own, and you don’t get why he is so upset. After a while, you figure you should respond. You write: ‘You’ll be fine, I don’t know why you’re worrying! Getting a B is pretty good and not the end of the world.’

When we think that someone is catastrophising something that (to us) is not a big deal, it can be tempting to ignore them, downplay them or be dismissive, but that would be a mistake and will likely end badly . Whatever your own take on your friend’s dilemma, it’s important to be responsive to their requests, and to prioritise trying to understand how they feel. Some studies suggest that being supportive is helpful only when we are responsive in this way. Moreover, being responsive to other people – trying to understand them, valuing their opinions and abilities, and making them feel cared for – is a cornerstone of good relationships.

So, in the above scenario with Alex, you might send a more thoughtful response, showing that you’re trying to understand how he feels: ‘I get why you’re upset, that sucks. I know you’re a hardworking and smart person, and I bet you’ll be able to get an A next time.’

In the longer term, a way to work on being more responsive and less dismissive is through setting compassionate goals. These involve focusing on supporting others, being constructive in interactions, and being understanding of others’ weaknesses. In a study with college students, people who reported setting goals that were more compassionate and less selfish had roommates who felt more supported by them. Cultivating a compassionate mindset is a useful background for all the remaining steps in this Guide.

Ask questions and really listen

You have coffee with your friend Jamie, who has just had a big argument with his partner. Your knee-jerk reaction is to think to yourself ‘Oh no, not another argument,’ to infer that Jamie is ready to leave the relationship (after all, that’s how you’d feel if you were him) and to show him that you’re on his side. You’re inclined to tell Jamie straight up that you get why he is angry, and that you agree it’s probably time to let the relationship go.

Just as playing down a friend’s problem is unwise, so too is trying to empathise too quickly, including jumping in with rapid advice. While this impulse is understandable and quite normal, it is also likely to go wrong. Although we tend to assume that we can tell how other people are thinking using our empathy, research has shown that we’re actually really bad at taking other people’s perspectives. One study , led by Tal Eyal at Ben-Gurion University of the Negev, involved researchers asking people to put themselves in another’s shoes in 25 different contexts, including taking other people’s perspectives on movies, on activities, on social issues, and even on whether jokes were funny. In all these experiments, trying to take another person’s perspective didn’t work, and sometimes it even backfired.

So how might you best address the situation instead? In the research by Eyal and her colleagues, directly asking was the only thing that helped one person understand how another person felt. This suggests that in the above scenario it would be better to slow down and start by asking directly how Jamie is feeling, rather than thinking about how you might feel in a similar situation. In short, we’re not as good as we think at intuiting other people’s feelings, and it is better to ask questions and listen to the answers.

Listening well can also be a challenge, but again there is psychology research that can help. To be a more effective listener, you can begin with two easy tactics . First, be attentive to the other person, and signal that you’re listening carefully by using nonverbal signals (such as nodding and smiling) and brief phrases (such as ‘Mmhmm’ or ‘Oh really?’) Second, provide ‘scaffolding’ questions that help your friend to elaborate on their story or their feelings, such as: ‘And what happened next?’ or ‘How did you feel after that?’ This can help them feel supported and heard. These skills may seem self-evident, but they’re particularly easy to forget in the moment, as we get distracted by our phones, or inclined to hurry our friends along to get to the point of their stories.

A related technique to try is active listening , which is commonly used by therapists, and relatively simple to implement. One form of active listening involves paraphrasing what your friend is saying in your own words, which can help them feel better. For example, your friend might spend some time explaining a series of stressful events across their week, describing arguments with their spouse, a mounting workload and some worries about debt, and you might paraphrase by saying that it sounds like they are overwhelmed both at home and at work right now.

Give emotional support first, cognitive support second

Your friend Casey comes to you upset that she has lost a big client at work. You want to jump straight in and help Casey think more positively about things. You know that this client was taking up a lot of Casey’s time. So, now that client is out of the picture, Casey can do less overtime, and spend more time on new, exciting clients. This kind of reframing is likely to be helpful for Casey in the long term, but it’s not the best place to start your support.

In contrast to downplaying a friend’s problem – the first pitfall I mentioned above – helping a friend see a situation in a positive light (known as reframing) is a supportive strategy. However, it’s important that you don’t jump straight to it. In the situation with Casey, it would have been better to start things off by validating her feelings, which is a form of emotional support . Casey has come to you feeling awful, and jumping straight to discussing the bright side might leave her feeling as if you aren’t getting it. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have tried to find a silver lining for Casey at all – but, rather than beginning there, better to validate and comfort Casey as she talked through the situation. Once you’d shown that you get how she feels, then you could have helped her find the bright side, which is a form of cognitive support in the sense that you’re helping your friend to think differently.

It’s important to provide both emotional and cognitive support because, although people prefer to receive and provide emotional support (and to avoid cognitive support), emotional support alone is often ineffective at making people feel better over the long term. Using emotional support first and cognitive support second makes people feel better, reaping the benefits of both approaches.

One additional concern with cognitive support is making sure that the reframe you suggest doesn’t slip into invalidating or downplaying your friend’s feelings. The dividing line here can be difficult to navigate. The key is to ensure your reframe doesn’t negate your friend’s feelings that the initial situation was upsetting. Instead, focus your reframing on unexpected upsides not yet considered, or future avenues to move past the initial problem. In the example with Casey, the aim wouldn’t be to convince her that losing her client wasn’t hard, but rather to help her find other parts of the situation that might soften that blow.

More generally, adopting the one-two punch approach of always beginning with validation is likely to help with this problem: if you begin from a perspective of validating, it’ll become more obvious to you when the reframes you provide are contradicting that validation.

Don’t take charge

Your friend Jay has a terrible boss. Jay has been struggling to deal with this for a while, and they’ve been constantly unhappy. You think Jay should quit and find another job with a better mentor, and you tell them as much.

Although you had good intentions, telling Jay straight up to quit would be a mistake. Very direct and obvious help can sometimes make people feel as if they are helpless. In research , people who received obvious and visible social support – rather than subtle, invisible social support – felt more stressed about an upcoming negative event. If your support is too directive and take-charge, it might make your friend feel like they aren’t able to handle things on their own, like a kid who needs their parent’s help to manage their problems.

Instead, it would have been better to ask Jay what they want, and how they might be able to change this situation, and then listen to them talk through their options one by one. In doing this, you provide a sounding board for Jay to take control of the situation on their own. Your aim should be to facilitate the other person’s choices, rather than dominating them. This will help them organise their thoughts and come to some solutions, without feeling like you did it for them.

Avoid venting together

Your housemate Jordan calls you to complain about your other housemate Kirby. Kirby hasn’t been doing her share of the chores, and Jordan is at the end of his patience. You too are annoyed at Kirby and, after a while, you realise that you and Jordan have been going back and forth complaining about Kirby for 10 minutes, and now you’re both feeling pretty upset.

Sympathising with a friend’s dilemma and venting together might seem like a supportive strategy that shows you’re both in the same boat and you’re happy to talk it over at length. However, this approach can go too far. In the above scenario, it’s likely to pull you and Jordan into a downward spiral of negativity.

Although I’ve discussed ways in which talking about problems with your friends can help, if taken to an extreme, it can become a problematic issue called co-rumination . This involves talking excessively with other people about problems, and constantly dwelling on those problems together without looking for solutions. Such behaviour results in both people feeling worse , with co-ruminating associated with increases in anxiety and depression over time.

How might you stop that downward spiral? The good news is that, according to researchers , simply knowing that co-rumination exists might help people avoid these kinds of negative spirals, although this has not yet been directly examined in a study. So, begin by being on the lookout. In the scenario above, once you’d identified the venting spiral, you could have pointed it out to Jordan. Distraction can interrupt that feeling of being stuck in a problem so, next, you and Jordan could have agreed to stop the discussion for a few hours, and do something that distracts you both, before coming back to figure out how to deal with the issue. At this point, you could have considered enacting the validate-and-reframe pattern I mentioned earlier (supporting such an approach, there is evidence that reframing can interrupt spirals of rumination).

Key points – How to support a struggling friend

• Being supportive isn’t easy . Many people struggle to know the right thing to say or do to help.
• Providing support is a skill you can learn . There are evidence-based strategies you can use. What’s more, providing the right kind of support is good both for your friends and for you.
• Resist the urge to downplay your friend’s problems . Instead, aim to be compassionate and responsive to how your friend is feeling.
• Ask questions and really listen . Most of us aren’t as good at empathy as we think – so find out how your friend feels and show you’re paying attention.
• Give emotional support first, cognitive support second . Validate your friend’s feelings, and only then help them to see things in a more positive light.
• Don’t take charge . Avoid being directive about your opinions; instead, encourage your friend to come up with potential solutions so they feel in control of the problem.
• Avoid venting together . Dwelling on problems with your friend without looking for a solution is known as co-rumination . Use distraction to break out of these negative spirals.

Tailoring your support

Not all supportive strategies will work in the same way for all people, cultures and situations. Now that we have good information about what works overall, researchers are starting to investigate how the optimal way to give support might vary depending on the who , where and when of the situation. Here are some of the most important findings to date:

Who: a relevant factor is the personality of the person being supported and in particular their self-esteem. In a series of studies , Denise Marigold at the University of Waterloo and her colleagues found that people with lower self-esteem benefited less from reframing and other forms of cognitive social support. As I discussed in the What to Do section above, this is the kind of support that involves positively reframing a friend’s experience (eg, ‘That terrible job interview was good practice for jobs you’ll care more about in the future’). People with lower self-esteem found this reframing cognitive support less helpful, and the people who provided the support felt worse about the interaction, themselves and their friendships more broadly. However, people with lower self-esteem were responsive to emotional support that validated their personal experiences. These findings indicate how important it is to think carefully about the personality of your friend and their preferences as you provide support.

Where: other research has investigated the role of culture in effective support. For instance, while much of the research I have discussed so far focuses on participants in Europe or the United States, crosscultural studies have demonstrated different dynamics among Asian and Asian American people. People with these backgrounds tend to request less support than Europeans and Americans because they fear that requesting too much support will strain their relationships. Perhaps as a result, whenever Asian and Asian American people have to ask for social support, they tend to find it less beneficial than any unsolicited support they receive. This suggests that, when giving support to Asian and Asian American people, it might be better to offer the support in a more subtle way, without waiting to be prompted.

Furthermore, research has demonstrated that social support may be more effective in some cultures, depending on people’s values. For instance, a study investigating Latino culture in the US found that this is characterised by familism , which values positive emotions, readily accessible social support from family, and a sense of shared obligation among community members. Among Latino participants, but not European or Asian participants, those people who more strongly endorsed familism tended to enjoy greater social support and better relationships. Related research suggests that among Latinos specifically, endorsement of familism is associated with deriving more health benefits from social support. Taken together, this work suggests that providing effective support may be particularly important in Latino communities that strongly endorse familism.

When: the role of situation in social support provision is another focus of research. One key distinction has been whether the support is given online (eg, through social media or messages) or in person. Despite the challenges involved in online interactions, studies in young people have found that providing support online can be helpful, especially for those who have less support available in person. Indeed, studies with young adults have found that support received digitally (eg, through messages and video calls) was just as helpful as face-to-face support. There tends to be some scepticism around the benefits of digital social support, but this research suggests that it may be a promising avenue, at least in young people. It’s unclear how well such studies will generalise across all age groups, but it does indicate that, if offering digital support is an available option (as is so often the case), then it is an avenue worth using. Many of the strategies discussed in this Guide are equally applicable in digital settings and can be used to support friends from afar.

Links & books

In her New York Times guide, the columnist Tara Parker-Pope discusses the research on how to be a better friend, including how to make friendships last, how to listen more effectively, and how to have better arguments.

The Psychology Podcast hosted by the cognitive scientist Scott Barry Kaufman has several episodes that are helpful to being a better friend, including one on developing emotion skills, with Marc Brackett of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, and another on fostering positive relationships, with the social psychologist Sara Algoe.

The Ten Percent Happier podcast hosted by the journalist Dan Harris also has some relevant episodes, including one on making and keeping friends, with the evolutionary psychologist Robin Dunbar of the University of Oxford, and another that makes the case for kindness, with Dacher Keltner of the Greater Good Science Centre at the University of California, Berkeley.

In her TED talk ‘Helping Others Makes Us Happier – But It Matters How We Do It’ (2019), the psychologist Elizabeth Dunn of the University of British Columbia discusses the benefits we get from helping others, demonstrating that supporting our friends also has personal benefits.

The book The War for Kindness (2019) by the psychologist Jamil Zaki of Stanford University is excellent on the psychology of empathy. Zaki demonstrates that empathy is a skill we can develop, in order to be kinder and more supportive people.

Spirituality and religion

How to find new spiritual practices

Even if religion isn’t for you, there’s a world of rituals and tools to lift yourself up and connect to something greater

by Morgan Shipley

Emerging therapies

How to look after your emotional health

Find out which of your emotional needs you’ve been neglecting and use tips from human givens therapy to address them

by Denise Winn

How to get the most out of caregiving

Giving care is hard, but it’s one of the most meaningful things you can do. Here’s how to change up your perspective

by Elissa Strauss

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Calculate for all schools, your chance of acceptance.

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8 Overcoming Challenges College Essay Examples

The purpose of the Overcoming Challenges essay is for schools to see how you might handle the difficulties of college. They want to know how you grow, evolve, and learn when you face adversity. For this topic, there are many clichés , such as getting a bad grade or losing a sports game, so be sure to steer clear of those and focus on a topic that’s unique to you. (See our full guide on the Overcoming Challenges Essay for more tips).

These overcoming challenges essay examples were all written by real students. Read through them to get a sense of what makes a strong essay. At the end, we’ll present the revision process for the first essay and share some resources for improving your essay.

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Essay 1: Becoming a Coach

“Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly their dejectedness, at not being able to compete.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. The writer shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.

One area of improvement of this essay would be the “attack” wording. The author likely uses this word as a metaphor for martial arts, but it feels too strong to describe the adults’ doubt of the student’s abilities as a coach, and can even be confusing at first.

Still, we see the student’s resilience as they are able to move past the disbelieving looks to help their team. The essay is kept real and vulnerable, however, as the writer admits having doubts: Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

Essay 2: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This essay is an excellent example because the writer turns an everyday challenge—starting a fire—into an exploration of her identity. The writer was once “a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes,” but has since traded her love of the outdoors for a love of music, writing, and reading. 

The story begins in media res , or in the middle of the action, allowing readers to feel as if we’re there with the writer. One of the essay’s biggest strengths is its use of imagery. We can easily visualize the writer’s childhood and the present day. For instance, she states that she “rubbed and rubbed [the twigs] until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers.”

The writing has an extremely literary quality, particularly with its wordplay. The writer reappropriates words and meanings, and even appeals to the senses: “My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame.” She later uses a parallelism to cleverly juxtapose her changed interests: “instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano.”

One of the essay’s main areas of improvement is its overemphasis on the “story” and lack of emphasis on the reflection. The second to last paragraph about changing perspective is crucial to the essay, as it ties the anecdote to larger lessons in the writer’s life. She states that she hasn’t changed, but has only shifted perspective. Yet, we don’t get a good sense of where this realization comes from and how it impacts her life going forward. 

The end of the essay offers a satisfying return to the fire imagery, and highlights the writer’s passion—the one thing that has remained constant in her life.

Essay 3: Last-Minute Switch

The morning of the Model United Nation conference, I walked into Committee feeling confident about my research. We were simulating the Nuremberg Trials – a series of post-World War II proceedings for war crimes – and my portfolio was of the Soviet Judge Major General Iona Nikitchenko. Until that day, the infamous Nazi regime had only been a chapter in my history textbook; however, the conference’s unveiling of each defendant’s crimes brought those horrors to life. The previous night, I had organized my research, proofread my position paper and gone over Judge Nikitchenko’s pertinent statements. I aimed to find the perfect balance between his stance and my own.

As I walked into committee anticipating a battle of wits, my director abruptly called out to me. “I’m afraid we’ve received a late confirmation from another delegate who will be representing Judge Nikitchenko. You, on the other hand, are now the defense attorney, Otto Stahmer.” Everyone around me buzzed around the room in excitement, coordinating with their allies and developing strategies against their enemies, oblivious to the bomb that had just dropped on me. I felt frozen in my tracks, and it seemed that only rage against the careless delegate who had confirmed her presence so late could pull me out of my trance. After having spent a month painstakingly crafting my verdicts and gathering evidence against the Nazis, I now needed to reverse my stance only three hours before the first session.

Gradually, anger gave way to utter panic. My research was fundamental to my performance, and without it, I knew I could add little to the Trials. But confident in my ability, my director optimistically recommended constructing an impromptu defense. Nervously, I began my research anew. Despite feeling hopeless, as I read through the prosecution’s arguments, I uncovered substantial loopholes. I noticed a lack of conclusive evidence against the defendants and certain inconsistencies in testimonies. My discovery energized me, inspiring me to revisit the historical overview in my conference “Background Guide” and to search the web for other relevant articles. Some Nazi prisoners had been treated as “guilty” before their court dates. While I had brushed this information under the carpet while developing my position as a judge, i t now became the focus of my defense. I began scratching out a new argument, centered on the premise that the allied countries had violated the fundamental rule that, a defendant was “not guilty” until proven otherwise.

At the end of the three hours, I felt better prepared. The first session began, and with bravado, I raised my placard to speak. Microphone in hand, I turned to face my audience. “Greetings delegates. I, Otto Stahmer would like to…….” I suddenly blanked. Utter dread permeated my body as I tried to recall my thoughts in vain. “Defence Attorney, Stahmer we’ll come back to you,” my Committee Director broke the silence as I tottered back to my seat, flushed with embarrassment. Despite my shame, I was undeterred. I needed to vindicate my director’s faith in me. I pulled out my notes, refocused, and began outlining my arguments in a more clear and direct manner. Thereafter, I spoke articulately, confidently putting forth my points. I was overjoyed when Secretariat members congratulated me on my fine performance.

Going into the conference, I believed that preparation was the key to success. I wouldn’t say I disagree with that statement now, but I believe adaptability is equally important. My ability to problem-solve in the face of an unforeseen challenge proved advantageous in the art of diplomacy. Not only did this experience transform me into a confident and eloquent delegate at that conference, but it also helped me become a more flexible and creative thinker in a variety of other capacities. Now that I know I can adapt under pressure, I look forward to engaging in activities that will push me to be even quicker on my feet.

This essay is an excellent example because it focuses on a unique challenge and is highly engaging. The writer details their experience reversing their stance in a Model UN trial with only a few hours notice, after having researched and prepared to argue the opposite perspective for a month. 

Their essay is written in media res , or in the middle of the action, allowing readers to feel as if we’re there with the writer. The student openly shares their internal thoughts with us — we feel their anger and panic upon the reversal of roles. We empathize with their emotions of “utter dread” and embarrassment when they’re unable to speak. 

From the essay, we learn that the student believes in thorough preparation, but can also adapt to unforeseen obstacles. They’re able to rise to the challenge and put together an impromptu argument, think critically under pressure, and recover after their initial inability to speak. 

Essay 4: Music as a Coping Mechanism

CW: This essay mentions self-harm.

Sobbing uncontrollably, I parked around the corner from my best friend’s house. As I sat in the driver’s seat, I whispered the most earnest prayer I had ever offered.

Minutes before, I had driven to Colin’s house to pick up a prop for our upcoming spring musical. When I got there, his older brother, Tom, came to the door and informed me that no one else was home. “No,” I corrected, “Colin is here. He’s got a migraine.” Tom shook his head and gently told me where Colin actually was: the psychiatric unit of the local hospital. I felt a weight on my chest as I connected the dots; the terrifying picture rocked my safe little world. Tom’s words blurred as he explained Colin’s self-harm, but all I could think of was whether I could have stopped him. Those cuts on his arms had never been accidents. Colin had lied, very convincingly, many times. How could I have ignored the signs in front of me? Somehow, I managed to ask Tom whether I could see him, but he told me that visiting hours for non-family members were over for the day. I would have to move on with my afternoon.

Once my tears had subsided a little, I drove to the theater, trying to pull myself together and warm up to sing. How would I rehearse? I couldn’t sing three notes without bursting into tears. “I can’t do this,” I thought. But then I realized that the question wasn’t whether I could do it. I knew Colin would want me to push through, and something deep inside told me that music was the best way for me to process my grief. I needed to sing.

I practiced the lyrics throughout my whole drive. The first few times, I broke down in sobs. By the time I reached the theater, however, the music had calmed me. While Colin would never be far from my mind, I had to focus on the task ahead: recording vocals and then producing the video trailer that would be shown to my high school classmates. I fought to channel my worry into my recording. If my voice shook during the particularly heartfelt moments, it only added emotion and depth to my performance. I felt Colin’s absence next to me, but even before I listened to that first take, I knew it was a keeper.

With one of my hurdles behind me, I steeled myself again and prepared for the musical’s trailer. In a floor-length black cape and purple dress, I swept regally down the steps to my director, who waited outside. Under a gloomy sky that threatened to turn stormy, I boldly strode across the street, tossed a dainty yellow bouquet, and flashed confident grins at all those staring. My grief lurched inside, but I felt powerful. Despite my sadness, I could still make art.

To my own surprise, I successfully took back the day. I had felt pain, but I had not let it drown me – making music was a productive way to express my feelings than worrying. Since then, I have been learning to take better care of myself in difficult situations. That day before rehearsal, I found myself in the most troubling circumstances of my life thus far, but they did not sink me because I refused to sink. When my aunt developed cancer several months later, I knew that resolution would not come quickly, but that I could rely on music to cope with the agony, even when it would be easier to fall apart. Thankfully, Colin recovered from his injuries and was home within days. The next week, we stood together on stage at our show’s opening night. As our eyes met and our voices joined in song, I knew that music would always be our greatest mechanism for transforming pain into strength.

This essay is well-written, as we can feel the writer’s emotions through the thoughts they share, and visualize the night of the performance through their rich descriptions. Their varied sentence length also makes the essay more engaging.

That said, this essay is not a great example because of the framing of the topic. The writer can come off as insensitive since they make their friend’s struggle about themself and their emotions (and this is only worsened by the mention of their aunt’s cancer and how it was tough on them ). The essay would’ve been stronger if it focused on their guilt of not recognizing their friend’s struggles and spanned a longer period of time to demonstrate gradual relationship building and reflection. Still, this would’ve been difficult to do well.

In general, you should try to choose a challenge that is undeniably your own, and you should get at least one or two people to read your essay to give you candid feedback.

Essay 5: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

While the writer didn’t succeed in getting the track dedicated to Coach Stark, their essay is certainly successful in showing their willingness to push themselves and take initiative.

The essay opens with a quote from Coach Stark that later comes full circle at the end of the essay. We learn about Stark’s impact and the motivation for trying to get the track dedicated to him.

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The essay goes on to explain how the writer overcame their apprehension of public speaking, and likens the process of submitting an appeal to the school board to running a race. This metaphor makes the writing more engaging and allows us to feel the student’s emotions.

While the student didn’t ultimately succeed in getting the track dedicated, we learn about their resilience and initiative: I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Overall, this essay is well-done. It demonstrates growth despite failing to meet a goal, which is a unique essay structure. The running metaphor and full-circle intro/ending also elevate the writing in this essay.

Essay 6: Body Image

CW: This essay mentions eating disorders.

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

We can see that the writer of this essay has been through a lot, and a strength of their essay is their vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members.

Still, this essay shows us that this student is honest, self-aware, and caring, which are all qualities admissions officer are looking for.

Essay 7: Health Crisis

Tears streamed down my face and my mind was paralyzed with fear. Sirens blared, but the silent panic in my own head was deafening. I was muted by shock. A few hours earlier, I had anticipated a vacation in Washington, D.C., but unexpectedly, I was rushing to the hospital behind an ambulance carrying my mother. As a fourteen-year-old from a single mother household, without a driver’s license, and seven hours from home, I was distraught over the prospect of losing the only parent I had. My fear turned into action as I made some of the bravest decisions of my life. 

Three blood transfusions later, my mother’s condition was stable, but we were still states away from home, so I coordinated with my mother’s doctors in North Carolina to schedule the emergency operation that would save her life. Throughout her surgery, I anxiously awaited any word from her surgeon, but each time I asked, I was told that there had been another complication or delay. Relying on my faith and positive attitude, I remained optimistic that my mother would survive and that I could embrace new responsibilities.

My mother had been a source of strength for me, and now I would be strong for her through her long recovery ahead. As I started high school, everyone thought the crisis was over, but it had really just started to impact my life. My mother was often fatigued, so I assumed more responsibility, juggling family duties, school, athletics, and work. I made countless trips to the neighborhood pharmacy, cooked dinner, biked to the grocery store, supported my concerned sister, and provided the loving care my mother needed to recover. I didn’t know I was capable of such maturity and resourcefulness until it was called upon. Each day was a stage in my gradual transformation from dependence to relative independence.

Throughout my mother’s health crisis, I matured by learning to put others’ needs before my own. As I worried about my mother’s health, I took nothing for granted, cherished what I had, and used my daily activities as motivation to move forward. I now take ownership over small decisions such as scheduling daily appointments and managing my time but also over major decisions involving my future, including the college admissions process. Although I have become more independent, my mother and I are inseparably close, and the realization that I almost lost her affects me daily. Each morning, I wake up ten minutes early simply to eat breakfast with my mother and spend time with her before our busy days begin. I am aware of how quickly life can change. My mother remains a guiding force in my life, but the feeling of empowerment I discovered within myself is the ultimate form of my independence. Though I thought the summer before my freshman year would be a transition from middle school to high school, it was a transformation from childhood to adulthood.

This essay feels real and tells readers a lot about the writer. To start at the beginning, the intro is 10/10. It has drama, it has emotions, and it has the reader wanting more.

And, when you keep going, you get to learn a lot about a very resilient and mature student. Through sentences like “I made countless trips to the neighborhood pharmacy, cooked dinner, biked to the grocery store, supported my concerned sister, and provided the loving care my mother needed to recover” and “Relying on my faith and positive attitude, I remained optimistic that my mother would survive and that I could embrace new responsibilities,” the reader shows us that they are aware of their resilience and maturity, but are not arrogant about it. It is simply a fact that they have proven through their actions!

This essay makes us want to cheer for the writer, and they certainly seem like someone who would thrive in a more independent college environment.

Essay 8: Turned Tables

“You ruined my life!” After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain.

Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.

When my parents learned about The Green Academy, we hoped it would be an opportunity for me to find not only an academically challenging environment, but also – perhaps more importantly – a community. This meant transferring the family from Drumfield to Kingston. And while there was concern about Max, we all believed that given his sociable nature, moving would be far less impactful on him than staying put might be on me.

As it turned out, Green Academy was everything I’d hoped for. I was ecstatic to discover a group of students with whom I shared interests and could truly engage. Preoccupied with new friends and a rigorous course load, I failed to notice that the tables had turned. Max, lost in the fray and grappling with how to make connections in his enormous new high school, had become withdrawn and lonely. It took me until Christmas time – and a massive argument – to recognize how difficult the transition had been for my brother, let alone that he blamed me for it.

Through my own journey of searching for academic peers, in addition to coming out as gay when I was 12, I had developed deep empathy for those who had trouble fitting in. It was a pain I knew well and could easily relate to. Yet after Max’s outburst, my first response was to protest that our parents – not I – had chosen to move us here. In my heart, though, I knew that regardless of who had made the decision, we ended up in Kingston for my benefit. I was ashamed that, while I saw myself as genuinely compassionate, I had been oblivious to the heartache of the person closest to me. I could no longer ignore it – and I didn’t want to.

We stayed up half the night talking, and the conversation took an unexpected turn. Max opened up and shared that it wasn’t just about the move. He told me how challenging school had always been for him, due to his dyslexia, and that the ever-present comparison to me had only deepened his pain.

We had been in parallel battles the whole time and, yet, I only saw that Max was in distress once he experienced problems with which I directly identified. I’d long thought Max had it so easy – all because he had friends. The truth was, he didn’t need to experience my personal brand of sorrow in order for me to relate – he had felt plenty of his own.

My failure to recognize Max’s suffering brought home for me the profound universality and diversity of personal struggle; everyone has insecurities, everyone has woes, and everyone – most certainly – has pain. I am acutely grateful for the conversations he and I shared around all of this, because I believe our relationship has been fundamentally strengthened by a deeper understanding of one another. Further, this experience has reinforced the value of constantly striving for deeper sensitivity to the hidden struggles of those around me. I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story.

Here you can find a prime example that you don’t have to have fabulous imagery or flowery prose to write a successful essay. You just have to be clear and say something that matters. This essay is simple and beautiful. It almost feels like having a conversation with a friend and learning that they are an even better person than you already thought they were.

Through this narrative, readers learn a lot about the writer—where they’re from, what their family life is like, what their challenges were as a kid, and even their sexuality. We also learn a lot about their values—notably, the value they place on awareness, improvement, and consideration of others. Though they never explicitly state it (which is great because it is still crystal clear!), this student’s ending of “I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story” shows that they are constantly striving for improvement and finding lessons anywhere they can get them in life.

Where to Get Your Overcoming Challenges Essays Edited

Do you want feedback on your Overcoming Challenges essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

How to Support a Struggling Friend (In Any Situation)

Knowing how to offer support to a friend who is going through a difficult time can be challenging. If you haven’t been through what your friend is going through, it can be hard to relate to their pain. You want to make your friend feel better, but you’re scared you might do or say the wrong thing and make them feel worse.

In this article, you will learn how to support your friends in a way that really helps. The advice given can be applied to any situation where your friends need comfort, including:

• Going through mental health struggles or dealing with mental illness.
• Being diagnosed with a terminal illness, like cancer, or being the caregiver of someone who is very sick.
• Going through a bad breakup, separation, or divorce, or currently in a toxic relationship.
• Going through issues related to pregnancy, including abortion, miscarriage, and IVF.
• Grieving the loss of a loved one or a pet.
• Coming out as gay, bi-sexual, or non-binary.

In addition to learning how to support your friends, you will learn what signs to look for that may suggest your friend is going through a tough time. You’ll also be given some important reminders on how to avoid neglecting your own needs while tending to the needs of others.

How to support a friend in need

Signs your friend may be struggling, how to care for yourself while caring for others, common questions.

When it comes to uplifting friends who need moral support, the most important thing you can do is practice empathy. Often, people feel the need to fix their friends’ problems. But what friends really need is to feel understood, accepted, and cared for. You can’t take your friends’ pain away, but you can go through it with them and be their witness.

Here are 9 ways to support a struggling friend:

1. Actively listen to them

If a friend opens up to you about something and you immediately start offering them advice and solutions, they will not feel emotionally supported.

Being there for someone is not about saying the “right” thing. It’s about creating a safe space for them to share and to validate that whatever they’re feeling is okay. Providing validation requires listening for feelings, then relaying these back to the other person.

Suppose your friend told you:

“I’ve been trying to conceive for a year. I’m starting to think it’s hopeless.”

To provide validation, take a best guess at how your friend must be feeling:

“I can understand why you’re feeling discouraged. You didn’t think it would take this long, nor be this difficult. It’s disappointing.”

2. Use open-ended questions to help them reflect

Socratic questioning is a strategy used by therapists that allows them to be there for their clients without directly giving them advice. This style of open-ended, thought-provoking questioning helps people open up and develop better insight into their problems. [ 1 ]

You can use Socratic questioning to help your friend see their issues from a more neutral perspective. Make sure to acknowledge your friend’s emotions before you question them. Otherwise, they may not feel heard.

Say your friend tells you,

“I can’t believe my husband cheated on me. It must mean I’m an awful wife.”

You could ask them:

• How did you come to this conclusion?
• Could there be another way to view this situation?
• What does it do for you to continue thinking this way?

3. Keep the focus on your friend

It can be tempting to share your own story with your friend if you’ve been through something similar, but doing so is not always helpful. It can make your friend feel like their story is not that important or that yours is more important.

If you think your story could be helpful, mention it briefly but don’t share the details.

Say your friend told you:

“My father has cancer. We haven’t decided if he should have chemotherapy or try an alternative treatment.”

Instead of saying, “Well, my uncle had chemotherapy and…” say:

“I know how tough a decision that can be. I had a family member go through something similar.”

Let your friend decide whether they want to hear more about it or not.

4. Anticipate their needs and offer help

A friend who is going through hardship may benefit from a helpful gesture. When people are feeling down, they don’t always think to ask for what they need from others. So it’s better to be proactive in offering help.

Don’t ask your friend how you can help them—this puts the responsibility back on them. Instead, think about what your friend may need given the problem they are facing. Then, initiate help.

For example, a friend who is depressed might need extra motivation to get out of the house. You could offer to help them by texting them:

“I’m going for a stroll around the park. I can pick you up in an hour if you’d like to join me?”

5. Be thoughtful

Small gestures that show your friend you are thinking of them can do wonders to inspire them during hard times. This strategy is something that can work for long-distance friends, too. You don’t need to be in the same city or even the same country as your friend to show them that you care.

One example of a thoughtful gesture could be to send them some words of encouragement over text. If you know they have a big job interview coming up and that they are stressed about it, send them a text wishing them luck. Another example, if you live near them, could be to cook them their favorite meal when you know they’ve had a bad day.

6. Respect that they know best

Assuming that you know better about what your friend needs than they do is wrong. If you force your advice and opinions on them, you will push them away. It can be hard to watch a friend suffer, but you are not responsible for the feelings or behavior of others. All you can do is support them as best you can.

The only time you may know better than a friend is if they have admitted to wanting to harm themselves or someone else. In this case, you should encourage them to seek help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a 24/7 confidential hotline providing support for people in emotional crisis. If your friend refuses support, call the hotline yourself to determine the best next steps to take to help them.

7. Use distraction

You can be a supportive friend by using distraction to help keep your loved one’s mind off their pain. Sometimes people don’t want to talk about what is bothering them, or they aren’t emotionally ready to. In these cases, doing something fun that helps them forget about their problems, and brings back some normalcy for a bit, can be helpful.

Say that your friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She may be tired of people visiting her at home and having the conversations be all about her illness. Why not offer to do something exciting with your friend like you would before you found out she was sick? If she feels up for it, suggest going for lunch or for a scenic walk.

8. Instill hope in a brighter future

If your friend is going through a crisis, they may be feeling hopeless about the future. They may need help seeing that things can get better. That’s where you can come in.

Avoid giving your friend generic advice, like, “time heals all wounds.” Giving cliche advice can minimize your friends’ pain. Rather, remind them of their relevant strengths and how these could help them overcome this tough period.

Say your friend lost their job and is panicking about finding a new one. You could tell them, “I know that finding a new job is daunting, but you have something powerful in your toolkit—your ability to network. You connect with people so effortlessly.”

9. Encourage them to seek professional help

If you feel overwhelmed when hearing about a friend’s problems and you’re not sure how to handle the situation, it’s okay to be honest with them . Make sure that you’re not judgemental, though. This could put them off seeking help from anyone else.

You could say, “I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. I want to be there for you, but I’m not sure how or whether I have the capacity. Have you considered speaking to a professional?”

You could offer to help them find a therapist . You could also point them to a free crisis hotline, like the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline . You might like to read our article that explains how to convince a friend to go to therapy .

There are a few behavioral and physical changes that people show when they are feeling especially stressed or are experiencing mental health problems. If you notice any of the following signs in your friend, then you should try talking to them about your concerns.

1. They seem distant

Research shows that when people withdraw and are avoidant, it may be because they are dealing with a lot of stress. [ 2 ] This could look like your friend declining invitations to hang out, being quieter in general, or just not seeming themselves.

You might also like to read our article that explains what to do when friends distance themselves .

2. They have stopped responding to messages

If your friend has stopped replying to texts completely, or if their texts have taken on a different tone, then something might be up.

Being depressed can make people feel overwhelmed and low in energy. [ 3 ] So even something seemingly small, like replying to a message, can feel like a chore for someone who is clinically depressed.

3. They have stopped doing what they enjoyed

Anhedonia—loss of interest or pleasure in things that used to be enjoyable—is a symptom of depression. [ 4 ] If you have noticed that your friend has suddenly stopped engaging in activities they used to enjoy regularly, then they may be struggling emotionally.

4. They are more tearful

In the official manual used by psychologists to diagnose depression, one of the symptoms they look for is a persistent sad mood, which can include tearfulness observed by others. [ 5 ]

If you notice that your friend is crying more frequently or that they can’t seem to hold back their tears over small, daily frustrations, then there might be something larger at play.

5. They are more self-critical

Being self-critical has been linked to mental health issues like depression, eating disorders, anxiety, and bipolar disorder. [ 6 ] [ 7 ]

Is your friend constantly talking negatively about themselves? For example, are they saying what a bad, dumb, or ugly person they are? This kind of self-talk could indicate an underlying mental health disorder. [ 6 ]

6. They have started using substances

If your friend has started drinking alcohol or using drugs when they didn’t before, or if they are using substances more regularly, this could be problematic. Self-medicating with drugs or alcohol is an unhealthy way to cope with life’s stressors, as well as other mental health problems. [ 8 ]

7. They have said worrying things

People who are suicidal might make active or passive statements about wanting to die. [ 9 ] Active statements include directly telling you that they wish to die. Passive statements include saying things like, “I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up again.”

If you suspect that your friend may be suicidal, you should encourage them to call the National Suicide Prevention line . If they refuse to get help, you should call the hotline yourself and get advice on what steps to take next.

This article on what to say (and not to say) to a depressed person might be of help too.

8. They have lost or gained weight

When a person is stressed, especially over a long time, it can affect normal bodily processes, including appetite and metabolism. Depending on the body’s response to stress, weight loss or weight gain can occur. [ 10 ]

9. They look tired

Chronic stress can lead to sleep problems, such as trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. [ 11 ] If your friend is showing visible signs of fatigue, such as hanging eyelids, dark circles under their eyes, and pale skin, they may be experiencing sleep problems as a result of stress.

10. They are visibly not taking care of themselves

Research shows that some people who are depressed find it difficult to maintain personal hygiene standards. [ 12 ] When you see your friend, does it look like they just rolled out of bed and forgot to check the mirror before they left the house? If this seems out of character for them, then it could mean that they are struggling to keep up with life’s demands.

11. They have hurt themselves on purpose

When someone intentionally harms themselves, it’s because they are emotionally distressed and do not know how to cope with their difficult feelings. [ 13 ] It can also indicate an underlying mental health condition, such as depression, an eating disorder, or a personality disorder. [ 13 ]

If you notice strange marks on your friend’s body, such as cuts, scratches, or burn marks, and you suspect that these may be self-inflicted, don’t stay silent. Gently ask them about the marks, avoiding any judgment. Let them know that you are there for them and encourage them to seek help.

If they admit to feeling suicidal, you’ll need to get immediate support for them. You can contact the National Suicide Prevention line for help.

Giving support to your friends is an admirable thing to do, but sometimes caring for others can take a toll on your own emotional and mental well-being. It is crucial that you keep up with your own self-care and that you set boundaries when it comes to helping your friends .

Here are 4 ways you can practice self-care while supporting others:

1. Don’t take on too much

If you are a highly sensitive person, then you may be affected more by others’ moods. [ 14 ] If you start to become overwhelmed by your friends’ problems, take a step back. Be honest with your friend and let them know that you don’t feel you have the capacity to help them. Offer to help them find professional support from a therapist.

2. Set boundaries

It’s important to know your limits when it comes to how much support and what kind of support you’re willing to give your friends. If a friend has been calling you five times a day to talk about everything from their bad marriage to their sister who lost a baby, it can quickly become too much.

It’s okay to set a boundary around what your friend can expect in terms of your support. It’s fine to say, “I really want to be there for you, but I can’t be available at all hours of the day. Can we set some time aside to talk about these things in person?”

3. Practice self-care

Self-care involves doing things that promote mental, emotional, and physical health. [ 15 ] Some examples include going for a run, taking a warm shower, and meditating. Self-care provides a healthy way to cope with and process difficult emotions. That’s why it is important to practice self-care while caring for others—because hearing the struggles of those you care about can be emotionally taxing.

4. Talk to a therapist

Research shows that, in some cases, people can experience secondary trauma. [ 16 ] So if your friend was, for example, sexually assaulted and developed PTSD, you might develop a similar traumatic response. [ 16 ] Even if you are not severely traumatized by a friend’s problems, it can still help to talk to a therapist if you’re not coping emotionally.

What should I do if I’m worried about someone online?

If you feel comfortable, send them a message of support and encourage them to seek help. If you think they are in danger or require professional support, report the post to the platform.

How can I ask if my friend is okay?

Set time aside to talk to them in private. Let them know ahead of time that you are concerned about them, and ask them if they’re open to talking about it. This way, they won’t feel caught off-guard when you talk to them.

What if I’ve been asked to keep a secret?

If your friend has admitted to wanting to harm themselves or others, then confidentiality has to be broken to keep your friend and other people safe.

Why are supportive friendships important?

Having a strong social support network promotes mental health. Social isolation, on the other hand, has been associated with poor mental [ 16 ] and physical health. [ 17 ]

If you struggle with being more social, we have an article on the importance and benefits of being more social that you might find useful.

• Sutton, J. (2020, June 19). Socratic questioning in psychology: examples and techniques . Positivepsychology.com. https://positivepsychology.com/socratic-questioning/
• Compare, A., Zarbo, C., Shonin, E., Van Gordon, W., & Marconi, C. (2014). Emotional regulation and depression: a potential mediator between heart and mind. Cardiovascular Psychiatry and Neurology , 2014 , 1–10. https://doi.org/10.1155/2014/324374
• Vantage Point Recovery. Are you withdrawing from your social life?  (2019, February 6). https://vantagepointrecovery.com/are-you-withdrawing-from-your-social-life/
• De Fruyt, J., Sabbe, B., & Demyttenaere, K. (2020). Anhedonia in depressive disorder: a narrative review. Psychopathology , 1–8. https://doi.org/10.1159/000508773
• Kennedy, S. H. (2008). Core symptoms of major depressive disorder: relevance to diagnosis and treatment. Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience , 10 (3), 271–277. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3181882/
• Thew, G. R., Gregory, J. D., Roberts, K., & Rimes, K. A. (2017). The phenomenology of self-critical thinking in people with depression, eating disorders, and in healthy individuals. Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice , 90 (4), 751–769. https://doi.org/10.1111/papt.12137
• Shahar, G. (2015). Erosion: the psychopathology of self-criticism . Oxford University
• The Blackberry Center of Central Florida. 5 unhealthy coping mechanisms that worsen addiction and mental health . (2020, December 7). https://www.theblackberrycenter.com/unhealthy-coping-mechanisms-that-worsen-addiction/
• Smith, K. (2016). Suicide warning signs: what to look out for . PsyCom. https://www.psycom.net/suicide-warning-signs
• Johnson, S. (2020, May 28). Losing weight because of stress? What to know . Medical News Today. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/stress-weight-loss
• Stewart, V., Judd, C., & Wheeler, A. J. (2021). Practitioners’ experiences of deteriorating personal hygiene standards in people living with depression in Australia: A qualitative study. Health & Social Care in the Community . https://doi.org/10.1111/hsc.13491
• Olivan-Blázquez, B., Montero-Marin, J., García-Toro, M., Vicens-Pons, E., Serrano-Ripoll, M. J., Castro-Gracia, A., Sarasa-Bosque, M. C., Mendive-Arbeloa, J. M., López-del-Hoyo, Y., & Garcia-Campayo, J. (2018). Facilitators and barriers to modifying dietary and hygiene behaviours as adjuvant treatment in patients with depression in primary care: a qualitative Study. BMC Psychiatry , 18 (1). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-018-1779-7
• Health Direct. (2018, March 22). Self-harm . https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/self-harm
• Acevedo, B. P., Aron, E. N., Aron, A., Sangster, M.-D., Collins, N., & Brown, L. L. (2014). The highly sensitive brain: an fMRI study of sensory processing sensitivity and response to others’ emotions. Brain and Behavior , 4 (4), 580–594. https://doi.org/10.1002/brb3.242
• Lawler, M. (2021, May 19). What is self-care and why is it critical for your health? Everyday Health. https://www.everydayhealth.com/self-care/
• Rohde, N., D’Ambrosio, C., Tang, K. K., & Rao, P. (2015). Estimating the mental health effects of social isolation. Applied Research in Quality of Life , 11 (3), 853–869. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11482-015-9401-3
• Chen, A. (2015, November 29). Loneliness May Warp our Genes, and our Immune Systems. NPR. https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/11/29/457255876/loneliness-may-warp-our-genes-and-our-immune-systems?t=1652256705435

Kirsty Britz has a Master’s degree in Psychology from the University of New York in Prague, Training in Person-Centered Counselling, and a Career Coaching Certification. Read more .

How to Become Friends With Someone (Fast)

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They All Got Mysterious Brain Diseases. They’re Fighting to Learn Why.

Doctors in Canada have identified dozens of patients with similar, unexplained symptoms — a scientific puzzle that has now become a political maelstrom.

Gabrielle Cormier was 20 years old when she became the youngest confirmed case in a mysterious cluster in New Brunswick, Canada. Credit... Brendan George Ko for The New York Times

Supported by

By Greg Donahue

Greg Donahue is a writer in New York who covers crime, corruption and politics. He interviewed two dozen doctors, patients and politicians for this article.

• Aug. 14, 2024

In late 2018, after an otherwise-normal Christmas holiday, Laurie Beatty started acting strange. An 81-year-old retired contractor, he grew unnaturally quiet and began poring over old accounting logs from a construction business he sold decades earlier, convinced that he had been bilked in the deal.

Listen to this article, read by Robert Petkoff

Over the course of several days, Beatty slipped further into unreality. He told his wife the year was 1992 and wondered aloud why his hair had turned white. Then he started having seizures. His arms began to move in uncontrollable jerks and twitches. By the end of May, he was dead.

Doctors at the Georges-L.-Dumont University Hospital Center in Moncton, the largest city in the province of New Brunswick, Canada, zeroed in on an exceedingly rare condition — Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease, caused by prions, misfolding proteins in the brain — as the most likely culprit. The doctors explained this to Beatty’s children, Tim and Jill, and said they would run additional tests to confirm the post-mortem diagnosis. Three months later, when the siblings returned to the office of their father’s neurologist, Dr. Alier Marrero, that’s what they were expecting to hear. Instead, Marrero told them that Laurie’s Creutzfeldt-Jakob test had come back negative. “We were all looking at one another,” Tim says, “because we were all very confused.” If Creutzfeldt-Jakob hadn’t killed their father, then what had? What Marrero said next was even more unsettling.

“There’s something going on,” they recall him saying. “And I don’t know what it is.”

It turned out that Laurie Beatty was just one of many local residents who had gone to Marrero’s office exhibiting similar, inexplicable symptoms of neurological decline — more than 20 in the previous four years. The first signs were often behavioral. One patient fell asleep for nearly 20 hours straight before a friend took her to the hospital; another found himself afraid to disturb the stranger who had sat down in his living room, only to realize hours later that the stranger was his wife.

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