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About To Retire And Need To Give A Speech? 5 Retirement Speech Ideas With Examples

After a lifetime of hard work and dedication, retirement is a big milestone in life. 

It’s a time to reflect on all the amazing moments experienced over the years and celebrate the future ahead. 

As such, it often requires giving a retirement speech to acknowledge the occasion and those with whom you’ve worked for many years.

Knowing what to say when passing the baton and sharing final words of wisdom is challenging.

Should you be funny or serious?

Go into detail or keep it brief?

Look no further if you’re stuck and need some ideas or inspiration. 

We’ve put together a few examples of retirement speeches from the retiree’s perspective (and from an employee’s, as well) to help ignite your creativity.

How to Outline Your Retirement Speech

Tips for writing your retirement speech, 1. farewell type of retirement speech, 2. short retirement speech, 3. funny retirement speech, 4. heartfelt/serious retirement speech, 5. retirement speech for an employee, final thoughts.

Like any other written work, your retirement speech should have a narrative that walks through the main points clearly and concisely.

To ensure your address resonates with your audience, you should outline it properly before delivering it.

When creating an outline for your retirement speech, make sure to consider the following steps:

  • Start with a strong opening statement: Begin your speech by introducing yourself and setting the tone for what’s to come. Starting with humor can break the ice.
  • Mention and thank everyone present: Take time to thank those who have been a part of your professional journey, such as managers, colleagues, family members, and mentors.
  • Share memorable moments: Reflect on your career highlights and share your favorite memories with the audience.
  • End with inspiring words: Leave your audience with a few words of wisdom encapsulating everything you’ve said.
  • Edit and practice: Once you’ve completed your outline, edit it as many times as needed to make sure there are no errors or unnecessary information.
  • Rehearse it out loud: Also, practice delivering your speech aloud, so you know exactly how it will sound when the time comes.

By crafting an effective outline and following these steps, you can ensure that your retirement speech is well-received by everyone in attendance. It may take a few drafts to get it right, but the effort will be worth it.

As you bid farewell to your work life and embark on a new chapter in life, a well-written speech will serve as an inspiring reminder of all that has been accomplished.

  • Decide on the tone of speech: Will it be a formal address or light-hearted? Will it start out with one tone and end with another? These decisions can help guide the story you tell.
  • Set the context: Choose a theme or story to open your speech so your audience can relate and follow along.
  • Establish a timeline: How long have you worked at the organization? What are some of your most memorable moments? Who did you work with in different eras? Answering these questions can help you craft an engaging narrative.
  • Offer gratitude: You didn’t make it to retirement on your own, and it’s essential to recognize the people who played a role in your journey. Be sure to thank them accordingly.
  • Keep it short: Keep your speech under ten minutes if possible, as this will keep your audience attentive and engaged. If any sentences don’t add value to the story, remove them. It should be easy to read out loud and follow along.
  • Identify key takeaways: What is one thing that everyone should leave with? What lessons have you learned in your time there that can help shape the future of the organization?
  • Close on an uplifting note: Your retirement speech should close with something inspiring and sincere – perhaps a quote or a personal expression of thanks. Sometimes humor is a great way to end on a high note and return to a more casual tone.

Use these pointers as a checklist that you can refer to when putting together your retirement speech.

With careful consideration, you’ll be able to deliver a heartfelt address that celebrates all the successes and memories of your time at the organization.

5 Retirement Speech Ideas with Examples

If you need help getting started with your goodbyes, here are some examples of retirement speeches by the retiree (and an employee speech) to help you craft the perfect address:

This type of speech is the most common and is often sentimental. It’s about saying goodbye while thanking everyone who helped you along the way.

It should help the audience understand what this change means for you while keeping them curious about where your next chapter will take you.

Example Farewell Retirement Speech:

It’s difficult to put into words just how much this moment means to me. After XX years of dedicated service, I’m finally ready to take on my next journey.

woman laughing in office retirement speech ideas

When I first started my career, I never imagined all the wonderful memories and relationships that would come with it. Every day has been rewarding in its own way, but today is an especially bittersweet occasion as I bid farewell to all my colleagues and look ahead to the future.

I think about all the fantastic people I’ve met who have helped me along the way – from supervisors who encouraged me through challenging times to mentors who gave wise advice when the going got tough. These relationships made coming to work each day a pleasure rather than a chore.

The biggest blessing must be my meaningful collaborations with some of my favorite coworkers over the years. We spent countless hours brainstorming ideas and building projects together, often coming up with solutions for problems we thought would never be solved. The sense of satisfaction and accomplishment was always worth it in the end!

Although I won’t be in this office anymore, there are still plenty of contributions yet to come from me and those like me who will carry this legacy forward into our respective futures. With every challenge you face, there will always be someone new at your side willing to help you move mountains if you need it.

So allow me to leave you with a few pieces of advice: Believe in yourself but never be afraid of asking questions and learning more; cherish every relationship you come across; and remember that hard work pays off even when you don’t see it right away! With that said, I will miss all of you and wish you and (name of company) continued success. 

Many retirement speeches happen in spaces where we need to be brief, such as a Zoom meeting or other virtual space.

A short retirement speech will allow you to be concise and still convey your message. It can also make for an excellent written piece for a retirement card or email greeting.

Example Short Retirement Speech:

Today, I have many mixed emotions. I bid farewell to this great organization that’s played such a meaningful role in my life. And I’m saying goodbye to the most supportive and incredible colleagues.

I am thankful for the opportunities I’ve enjoyed here to make a difference by working diligently on staff development initiatives, fundraising efforts, and day-to-day operations. Our amazing team accomplished so much in the years I’ve been here, and I’m proud to have played a part in our success.

My gratitude extends beyond words as I am leaving behind something that’s defined me for over XX years. But I also look forward to embracing new challenges and experiences on my new journey ahead.

I will miss all of you tremendously and hope to stay in touch to see how everyone is doing. Thank you all for your encouragement and friendship – I will never forget it.

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Being light-hearted at the end of one’s career is a graceful but uplifting way to bid farewell. If you choose to make a funny retirement speech, be sure it is not offensive and still conveys your genuine appreciation for your colleagues.

Funny Retirement Speech Example:

I’m sure you’re as excited as I am to see me take that final walk down the corridor, knowing it’s the last time you’ll have to hear one of my speeches. But please don’t envy my new freedom. I may be saying goodbye to my boss here, but it seems I’m now a full-time employee of my spouse, and I’ve heard he/she runs a tight ship.

couple in a party retirement speech ideas

Projects around the home that I’ve masterfully avoided with “But I’ve gotta work” excuses are already on a list taped to the fridge. It will feel a lot like the first job I had in high school, fixing up old appliances and cleaning bathrooms, but with even less pay!

Oh wait, maybe I’m not retiring.

On a more genuine note, I will certainly miss all of you and our great work here. But also, it will be exciting to transition into a less demanding lifestyle. I’m excited to travel, catch up with old friends, and find a few part-time projects where I can share my hundred years of experience.

It’s been an amazing journey here at this company, and I am grateful for everyone who helped me grow while putting up with my occasional growing pains. Not unlike a “colorful” family, we’ve had our share of laughs and disagreements, but ultimately we have always come together to get the job done.

Thank you for your camaraderie and support throughout these years.  Cheers!

A heartfelt or serious retirement speech is perfect for those who have put their life and heart into their career.

This type of retirement speech allows for more time as you pour your heart out and express how the people around you have positively impacted your life over the years.

Heartfelt/Serious Retirement Speech Example:

Today I stand here proud, humbled, and emotional – all at once. It’s been an honor and a privilege to have been part of this organization for the last XX years. When I first began here, I started at the bottom, yet I was deeply hopeful that I could use my passion and hard work to make a difference.

Little did I know that while accomplishing the tasks at hand, I was also gaining something much more valuable – friendships with people who have become like family to me. From you, I’ve learned invaluable lessons about life and work; but most importantly, I’ve learned that relationships are what matter in the end. 

They are the life force of who we are as an organization, and without the strong support I’ve received from my colleagues, it would have been impossible for me to stand here today.

But life goes on – and while I’m grateful for the wonderful memories with all of you, I also look forward to new challenges ahead. Retirement offers a whole new set of opportunities to explore, and I am excited to take them all on with the same passion and enthusiasm I had when I started working here.

My next chapter may involve a learning curve, but I am confident that the life skills I’ve learned here will help me in whatever I pursue going forward.

And most importantly, I want to continue providing opportunities to the next generation, so they have the support I was lucky enough to receive. As I enter the legacy phase of my life, I do so humbly and gratefully, taking the invaluable lessons I have learned here and sharing them with others.

Thank you all for everything. It truly has been an incredible journey, and I will miss all of you more than I can express.

If a notable team member is retiring, it’s an excellent opportunity to express gratitude for their contributions and commitment while highlighting hard work and excellence for other employees.

The following sample speech is perfect for any employee who has dedicated years of service to the company.

Retirement Speech for An Employee Example:

Good afternoon, everyone. Today, we celebrate and recognize someone exceptional who has made an invaluable difference in our organization. As you all know, [name] is retiring at the end of the month and moving on to the next, less stressful chapter of life.

[Name] has worked at this company for [number] years and has been an integral part of its success. During their time here, they have gone above and beyond in every task and project they were involved with, delivering results consistently and serving as a role model of integrity and professionalism for all of us. Some notable accomplishments during their tenure here include:

  • Accomplishment 1
  • Accomplishment 2
  • Accomplishment 3

We will sorely miss their hard work, loyalty, and enthusiasm. It’s rare to find an employee so dedicated and engaged, and frankly, I don’t know what we will do without them. 

officemates celebrating retirement speech ideas

Most of all, I’ll miss their bright and cheerful demeanor, always lifting the spirits of everyone around them with a smile and kind words. Connecting with others in a relatable way is the key to building relationships and fostering a positive work environment, and [name] was a master at that, among other things.

So please join me in wishing [name] the best as they enter this exciting next phase of life. We are all blessed to have had the privilege of working alongside such an incredible person.

Thank you for everything you have done for us!

Like most people, you may find crafting a retirement speech daunting. But if you follow the above guidelines and model after some of the example speeches, you can deliver a thoughtful talk filled with warmth, humor, and gratitude.

So begin your celebration by expressing your heartfelt appreciation to your team and excitement for the next phase of life. You deserve it!

Retirement day is around the corner and you haven't figured out what to say. Check these retirement speech ideas you can get inspiration from.

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Retirement Speech Tips with One Liners and Jokes

examples of funny retirement speeches

Retirement speeches can be tricky, there is no doubt about it. One of our readers, Ted, worked on the railways for 35 years and wanted some tips to write his speech, including some jokes and one liners. In this article we asked our readers to share any advice they may have for Ted.

On the past 35 years

One of the best methods that I have heard in a retirement speech would be to use a line like “What will stand out in my heart and mind as I look back at the past 35 years of working for the railways?”

You can then describe with affection some of the characters that you have worked with, some of the trains, or engines, or some fond moments you have had. I bet there are a few funny stories that you have had over the years.

When I retire in my speech will be a few examples of my catch phrase “it seemed like a good idea at the time” – a number of stories of amusing things that I did, which on reflection were not so clever.

Jokes and one liners

Here are a couple of one liners that you may be able to use:

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” Charles Lamb.

“When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch” R C Sherriff.

“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save” Will Rogers, Autobiography, 1949.

“It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man” Scott Elledge.

“The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does” Anonymous.

“When one door closes, another one opens, but we often look so long and regretfully at the closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us” Alexander Graham Bell.

“Forever, and forever, farewell, Cassius! If we do meet again, why, we shall smile; If not, why then this parting was well made” William Shakespeare.

“Our memories of yesterday will last a lifetime We’ll take the best, forget the rest And someday we’ll find these are the best of times…” – song “best of times” by Styx.

Answer thanks to Jonty P.

Quotations to include in your speech:

“Few men of action have been able to make a graceful exit at the appropriate time” – Malcolm Muggeridge.

“A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age” – Anon.

“There’s one thing I always wanted to do before I quit…retire!” – Groucho Marx.

“I’ve lit the blue touch paper and found there’s nowhere to retire to.” – Doctor Who.

“For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin-real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.” – Alfred D. Souza.

“Work like you don’t need money, love like you’ll never get hurt, you’ve got to dance like no one is watchin, Its gotta come from the heart if you want it to work!!”-song “Come from the heart” by Susanna Clark and Richard Leigh.

Answer thanks to Ed.

Structuring your speech

It’s funny we work all our lives and in many ways our retirement speech is the last thing we have to do. You would think that we would put a lot of time into what to say.  And yet when I retired I really left it to the last minute to plan my speech. One suggestion on the structure is to use a comparison over time.

An introduction joke could be to “The good news is that I’m only going to make one retirement speech, and this is it”.

You could start with “When I started in business…” You could go over how different things were 35 years ago. Things like the typing pool etc.…”

You could then bring it forward in time to how things are today or a step along the way.

A line like “It wasn’t until…” could fit in well. This is used to good effect in a speech by Brendan Wilson.

You could do a skit on how when you started at work all of the common computer words had different meanings (Ram, Mouse, Floppy etc.).

If you wanted to include a part on change you could use a funny line like “And remember – change is inevitable – except from vending machines”.

I have just come across a quote which I have built into a line that could be used as part of a leaving or retirement speech.

“Today reminds me of the time when Governor Swanson of Virginia made a long and rambling speech. Afterwards a woman came up to him to shake his hand. “How did you like my speech?” he asked. She answered, “I liked it fine, but it seems to me that you missed several excellent opportunities.” Swanson was puzzled. “Several excellent opportunities to do what?” “To quit” she replied.

And so today is my time to quit. And I’m sure that there may be some in the audience that may have felt that I have missed some excellent opportunities, but now is my time to retire…”.

Answer thanks to Doctor.

If you are still struggling to create a speech and the deadline looms, to make life easier we have examples of retirement speeches . These can be customised for your own purposes.

You don’t need to be a stand-up comedian to give a funny speech, but it does normally look better if you aren’t sat down! If you have any one liners that you used in your retirement speech, or can think of any off the top of your head, please let us know in the comments box below.

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examples of funny retirement speeches

When asked, what are you going to do now? I reply ” it’s not a matter of what I’m going to do, it’s what I’ve done”

Jamie….I LIKE it…clever

When I retired I was asked by a co-worker how many years experience I had? – One Hundred years I replied.

Wow but how old are you? he asked – 61 I replied

Perplexed he said but then how did you manage to get so many years experience?

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Funny Retirement Quotes

examples of funny retirement speeches

A wise man once said, "....

Oh wait, that's not why you're here is it?  You actually need a wise crack for your retirement speech.  Well, go ahead and pinch one of the funny retirement quotes below:


Check out a sample retirement speech .


Humorous quotes about money:

  • “The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.” George Foreman
  • “When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.” Chi Chi Rodriguez

examples of funny retirement speeches

  • “Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.” Gene Perret
  • “Retirement is when the living is easy and the payments are hard.” Author Unknown
  • “Today more people believe in UFOs than believe that Social Security will take care of their retirement.” Scott Cook
  • “I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left.” Voltaire

Comparisons with Work Life:

  • “The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.” Abe Lemons
  • “There is an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.” Peter F. Drucker
  • “Retired is being twice tired, I've thought; First tired of working, Then tired of not.” Richard Armour
  • “The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.” Author Unknown
  • “Retirement: World's longest coffee break”. Author Unknown
  • “Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.” Gene Perret
  • “When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you.” Gene Perret


I want to show how clever I am with a funny poem .


  • "Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did." Malcolm Forbes
  • I can enjoy a vacation as well as the next person, as long as I know it's a vacation and not a premature retirement.” Mary Crosby
  • “When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking.” Gail Sheehy
  • “When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.” R.C. Sherriff
  • “I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron.” Hartman Jule
  • “Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”  Will Rogers
  • “Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.”  Robert Frost
  • “Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.”   Dr. Seuss
  • “I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”  Bill Watterson
  • “Life is worth living as long as there's a laugh in it.” Lucy Maud Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
  • “The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.” Kurt Vonnegut
  • “We’ll never survive!” “Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.”   William Goldman, The Princess Bride
  • “Look at me! Look at me! Look at me NOW! It is fun to have fun but you have to know how.” Dr. Seuss, The Cat in the Hat
  • “Try not to have a good time...this is supposed to be educational.”  Charles Schultz
  • “...inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.”  Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures

Other funny retirement quotes:

  • “There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
  • “Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever." Gene Perret
  • “Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.” Gene Perret
  • “There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.” P.G. Wodehouse
  • “Retirement is capitalism's way of getting you to plant a garden.” Orson Scott Card
  • "You're discharged now that you have an immunity to bosses" Fond-Farewell team
  • “Writers are never retired, just unpaid.” Kathy Skaggs
  • “Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too.” Charles Baxter
  • “Don’t forget: Ruts aren’t that much different . . . from graves.”  John-Talmage Mathis
  • “My style is “dress for the job you want,” and the job I want is retired independently wealthy eccentric recluse."  Anonymous

examples of funny retirement speeches

  • “If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.” Doug Larson
  • “Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.” Ambrose Bierce
  • “Who knows whether in retirement I shall be tempted to the last infirmity of mundane minds, which is to write a book.” Geoffrey Fisher
  • “I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box.” Bette Davis
  • "...how sad and bad and mad it was - but then, how it was sweet...” Robert Browning
  • “Got no checkbooks, got no banks. Still I'd like to express my thanks - I've got the sun in the mornin' and the moon at night.”  Irving Berlin
  • “Everything stinks till it’s finished.”  Dr. Seuss
  • “Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon.” Charles M. Schulz
  • “The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.”  John Bingham, No Need for Speed: A Beginner's Guide to the Joy of Running
  • “When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.”  Barney Stinson
  • “Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.” Francis Bacon
  • “The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse” Bill Watterson, It's a Magical World
  • “If you think your boss was stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have had a job if he was any smarter.” John Gottman
  • “I tried to contain myself... but I escaped!”   Gary Paulsen

examples of funny retirement speeches

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How to Write a Memorable Retirement Speech + Examples

Updated 12/28/2023

Published 03/2/2020

Belinda McLeod, BA in Secondary Education

Belinda McLeod, BA in Secondary Education

Contributing writer

Follow this guide to write a memorable retirement speech, whether for yourself, a friend, or colleague.

Cake values integrity and transparency. We follow a strict editorial process to provide you with the best content possible. We also may earn commission from purchases made through affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more in our affiliate disclosure .

Stepping up to the podium for your own retirement speech or perhaps for a colleague’s grand exit? Bravo! Whether you’re bidding farewell to your own illustrious career or celebrating a coworker’s legacy, it’s a momentous occasion. And guess what? The spotlight’s on you, and people are eager to be moved, amused, and maybe shed a tear or two.

Jump ahead to these sections:

  • Who Gives a Retirement Speech?

Retirement Speech Etiquette

Tips for writing a retirement speech, short retirement speech examples.

If this is your debut into the world of retirement speeches, you don’t have to fret too much. Think of it as giving a wedding toast but with fewer embarrassing stories and more career highlights. 

Even if you’ve mastered the art of public speaking, a retirement speech is a unique beast. After all, you want your words to capture the essence of decades of dedication and hard work. 

This article will help you do just that. Keep reading to learn how to write a retirement speech that resonates and leaves an indelible mark.

Tip: Growing older and entering retirement also means watching your friends and family members grow older, too. And that often means coping with loss and grief. If you know a retiree who's facing a loss, our post-loss checklist  may be able to help.

Who Gives a Retirement Speech? 

Retirement speeches are a rite of passage and a moment to reflect on years of service, shared memories, and the legacy left behind. But who steps up to the mic to deliver these poignant words during an office farewell or retirement party ?

While the retiree is an obvious choice, there are others who’ve shared in the journey and can offer unique perspectives. Each speaker brings something unique to the table, painting a comprehensive picture of the retiree’s impact. Let’s take a look at the roles of these speakers and the insights they can bring to the celebration.

The retiree

If you’re the retiree taking center stage, this is your chance for personal reflection. You can share:

  • Anecdotes from your journey
  • The challenges you overcame
  • Milestones you celebrated
  • Gratitude for colleagues, mentors, and the organization

A retiree’s speech often carries pride in their achievements, nostalgia for the memories, and excitement for the future. You might also sprinkle in some humor like a light-hearted mistake or a memorable office prank. This speech is your curtain call, so make sure to leave a lasting impression and maybe impart some wisdom to those still in the midst of their careers.

A coworker’s perspective is invaluable because they’ve been in the trenches together, weathered the same storms, and celebrated mutual successes. If you’re giving a retirement speech for a close coworker, you can highlight:

  • The retiree’s professional attributes and teamwork
  • The camaraderie you shared
  • Recollections of shared projects, inside jokes, and day-to-day interactions
  • Your personal bond and the times you spent together

Your words have the power to connect with many in the room, echoing shared sentiments and reinforcing the retiree’s impact on the team.

A boss or manager

When a boss or manager speaks, it’s a testament to the retiree’s professional impact. Your perspective offers a birds-eye view of the retiree’s contributions, leadership, and the legacy they leave behind.

You can also touch on the personal qualities that made the retiree stand out, such as their resilience, dedication, or mentorship to younger colleagues. The retirement speech is a chance to express gratitude on behalf of the organization, pride in their accomplishments , and to assure the retiree that their shoes were hard to fill.

Retirement speeches are a tribute, a celebration, and a farewell all wrapped into one. As with any significant occasion, there’s etiquette to follow to make the event memorable for all the right reasons. Understanding these nuances can make the difference between a speech that’s cherished and one that’s merely endured.

Consider some retirement speech etiquette to ensure your words resonate with grace, respect, and warmth.

Dress appropriately

The way you dress not only reflects your respect for the occasion but also sets the tone for your speech. Dressing appropriately signifies that you value the event and the person being honored. It's not just about looking good; it's about showing that you've put thought into your appearance as a mark of respect. 

Whether it's a formal event or a casual gathering, ensure your attire matches the occasion. Remember, it's always better to be slightly overdressed than underdressed.

Use humor wisely

Humor can be a fantastic tool to lighten the mood and engage the audience. However, it's a double-edged sword. What's funny to one person might be offensive to another. 

When incorporating humor, make sure it's in good taste and won't alienate or upset anyone. Steer clear of inside jokes that only a few might understand or controversial topics that could divide the room. The goal is to evoke smiles and laughter, not raised eyebrows.

A retirement speech is a heartfelt tribute, and sincerity is its cornerstone. While it's okay to refer to notes or an outline, ensure your words come from the heart.

Authenticity resonates. People can tell when sentiments are genuine versus when they're merely rehearsed lines. Speak with conviction, share genuine anecdotes, and let your true feelings shine through.

Be positive

Retirement is a celebration of a significant milestone. While it's tempting to bring up past challenges or conflicts, focus on the positive. Highlight achievements, growth, and the good times. 

Even if there were hurdles, frame them as learning experiences or stepping stones that led to greater successes. A positive tone uplifts the atmosphere and leaves the retiree with fond memories.

Time the speech correctly

While you want to cover all your points, you don’t want to bore anyone to sleep. A speech that's too long can lose the audience's attention, while one that's too short might seem insincere.

Aim for a sweet spot, typically between 5 to 10 minutes. This gives you plenty of time to convey your message without overstaying your welcome. Practice beforehand and, if possible, time yourself to keep on track.

Be grateful

Whether you're the retiree thanking your colleagues or a manager expressing appreciation for years of service, always express gratitude. Recognize the contributions, the memories, and the shared journey. A simple 'thank you' can resonate deeply, leaving a lasting impression on the retiree and the audience alike.

Crafting a retirement speech is an art that can seem daunting. After all, you have to encapsulate decades of memories, achievements, and emotions into a few minutes. 

Thankfully, with the right approach and a sprinkle of creativity, you can pen a speech that’s both memorable and moving.

General tips

Whether you’re a retiree or a colleague, retirement speeches should be given with utmost care and respect. Add a touch of creativity, and you’ve got a well-prepared speech that will move hearts and honor the star of the show.

Here are some general tips for crafting a memorable retirement speech.

Choose a speaker who knows the person well

Selecting the right speaker is the foundation of a memorable retirement speech. The speaker's connection with the retiree can make all the difference. Here are some qualities the ideal speaker should have:

  • Personal connection:  The speaker should have a personal rapport with the retiree so they can give genuine anecdotes and heartfelt sentiments.
  • Knowledge of career journey:  Choose someone familiar with the retiree's professional journey, milestones, and achievements.
  • Eloquence:  While personal connection is vital, the speaker should also be comfortable speaking in public and conveying emotions effectively.
  • Representative of the team:  Ideally, the speaker should represent the sentiments of the larger group, ensuring the speech resonates with everyone present.
  • Avoid last-minute choices:  Plan ahead so the speaker has ample time to prepare. Don't leave the selection of the speaker to the last moment.

Focus on the honoree

examples of funny retirement speeches

The retiree is the star of the show, and the speech should reflect that. Here's how to keep the spotlight on them:

  • Highlight achievements:  Discuss significant milestones, projects, and contributions made by the retiree.
  • Share personal anecdotes:  Personal stories add warmth and depth. Share moments that capture the retiree's essence.
  • Avoid generic praises:  Be specific in your compliments. Instead of saying "You're great," mention what makes them so.
  • Incorporate feedback: Talk to colleagues and gather shared memories or sentiments to include.
  • Acknowledge growth:  Discuss how the retiree evolved over the years, both professionally and personally.

Keep it short — but not too short

Timing is everything when you’re giving a retirement speech. You’ve got to strike the perfect balance. Here's how to ensure your speech is just right:

  • Set a time limit:  Aim for 5-10 minutes. It's long enough to cover key points but short enough to retain attention.
  • Practice out loud:  This helps in gauging the length and making necessary edits.
  • Prioritize content:  Focus on the most impactful memories and achievements.
  • Engage the audience:  A well-timed speech ensures the audience remains engaged throughout.
  • Leave room for applause:  Factor in moments of applause or reactions, ensuring the speech doesn't feel rushed.

Carefully use humor

Humor can elevate a speech, but you’ve got to tread carefully. Here's how to infuse humor without overstepping:

  • Know your audience:  Choose jokes that are appropriate for the audience's sensibilities.
  • Avoid sensitive topics:  Steer clear of controversial or potentially hurtful subjects.
  • Test your joke:  Share them with a trusted colleague to gauge their reaction.
  • Use light self-deprecation:  It's a safe way to add humor without offending anyone.
  • Stay authentic:  Forced humor can fall flat. If humor isn't your strength, focus on warmth and sincerity.

Preparation is key to delivering a confident and heartfelt speech. You can thoroughly prepare in several ways:

  • Write an outline:  Organize your thoughts and structure your speech with a clear beginning, middle, and end.
  • Rehearse: Practice multiple times to get the flow right and make necessary tweaks.
  • Seek feedback:  Share your speech with a trusted colleague or friend for feedback.
  • Visualize the day:  Imagine yourself giving the speech. This mental rehearsal can boost confidence.
  • Stay calm and composed:  Remember, it's a celebration. Take deep breaths, stay relaxed, and speak from the heart.

As the retiree

If you’re a retiree, there are several ways to create a great speech:

  • Reflect on your journey: Talk about where you started, the highs and lows along the way, and where you feel like you've "landed" at the end of your career.
  • Acknowledge and appreciate: There are a lot of people who have helped you on your way. Take the time to acknowledge and thank them for their role in your life and career.
  • Share life lessons: What lessons have you learned that you want to pass along? Share these during your speech.

As a trusted coworker or superior

What about if you’re a coworker or superior? Focus on highlighting the retiree’s impact, sharing personal anecdotes, and offering well wishes for the future.

You might know the person pretty well, but it's always important to make sure you've got the right information on hand. Make sure to gather information and fact check for items like:

  • How long the retiree has been in the industry.
  • How long the retiree has worked for the company.
  • The previous positions the person held within the company.
  • The contributions they made while working.
  • Awards the person who is retiring may have received in the course of their career.
  • Pertinent information about the retiree's work history.

examples of funny retirement speeches

Here are some snippets of retirement speeches that you can amend for your situation. Remember, it is important to speak from the heart. Your audience will appreciate a more authentic speech rather than a stoic message.

For a friend

When Max began work at our firm, gas was $1.19 a gallon, and Ronald Reagan had just been elected president. Kramer vs. Kramer won Best Picture, and “Call Me” by Blondie was playing on the radio. All that to say, she’s been a fixture here for quite a while. To say that Max knows every aspect of this business like the back of her hand is not an understatement.

I remember the first time I walked into this office. Maxine was the first person to greet me. She gave me advice on where to park, showed me how to fill out a PTO request, and answered all my questions during lunch. She introduced me to everyone on staff.  And she made sure I knew all the ins and outs of working for Brighton Industries. This wasn’t part of her job, but she did it anyway. She made every new person in the office feel welcome.

Every office has a “go-to” person. The person who knows how to handle the difficult client. The person who knows how to hire the right person for the job. The person who knows how to load new toner in the printer. Max has been our go-to person for 25 years, and she leaves big shoes to fill.

One of Max’s best qualities is her ability to stay calm in the middle of the storm. Do you remember the great Jones Company fiasco in 2004? While the rest of us panicked about the loss of our biggest client, she went out and found us a new client. And that client brought in twice as much revenue as the client we lost!

We know that Maxine is looking forward to retirement. She told me she is planning to spend more time quilting. And she’ll be hanging out with her daughter and three adorable grandbabies. You’ve all seen pictures of her grandkids, right? Of course, you have! We are all so excited to wish Maxine well as she starts checking off items from her retirement bucket list . 

For your retirement

Thank you so much for all the kind words. I have loved working at Brighton Industries. I have had some of the best times in my life at this office. I have made lifelong friends who I treasure. Thank you for being the best coworkers and friends a woman could ask for.

There are a few things that I won’t miss about working for Brighton. I won’t miss filling out the TPS reports. I won’t miss the late nights that came with tax season. I won’t miss how cold the office is in the summer, or how hot the office is during the winter. But I will miss all of you. You have made this office feel like a second home to me. Thank you.

I discovered what amazing coworkers I had when I lost my mom to cancer three years ago. You all stepped in so willingly to pick up the slack when I couldn’t perform my regular duties. Not only did you take on more responsibilities in the office, but many of you also provided meals to my family. It meant the world to me, knowing that I could depend upon you all for help.

For a coworker

I have witnessed many people come and go throughout my years here at Smith and Smith. However, I am sadder today than ever, knowing Michelle won’t be stepping out of our elevator Monday morning. 

Even though Michelle has only worked at Smith and Smith for the last eight years, she has contributed much to our organization. For example, she made our network more secure by spearheading our cybersecurity efforts. But she also had a knack for streamlining processes, allowing us to work more efficiently. Before Michelle began working here, we worked a great deal of overtime. The reason we are now able to leave at 5 p.m. is because of the processes she began.

On a personal level, Michelle was always a delight to be around. She’s not one to complain – even when we had to put in extra hours last winter. Michelle was always the first to jump in to help when someone was sick or had a personal emergency. We all have stories of how Michelle helped us during a pinch. 

Michele – I will remember you with fondness. I am excited that you will have more time to spend with your beautiful grandchildren, and I wish you every happiness in the future. 

I was honored to be asked to speak about Samuel this afternoon. After working for Samuel for over 20 years, I have a lot to say. Don’t worry, Sam. Most of it is good.

First, I would like to tell you some things about Sam’s background that you might not have been aware of. Sam has a degree in Chemistry from Perdue. Even though he was prepared to spend his life in a lab setting, he sat next to a stranger on the subway one day while going to a job interview. He spoke with this person and learned he was starting a new shoe company and looking for someone to oversee the distribution. Of course, that stranger was Frank Jones, our illustrious founder. And that was why Sam never used his chemistry degree.

The second thing you may not know about Sam is that he is a violin virtuoso. I didn’t know this about him until a few years ago when Sam and his wife had me over for dinner. I saw a music stand in the corner of his living room and asked about it. Sam’s wife encouraged him to play for me. Needless to say, I was dumbfounded by his talent. 

For a subordinate

I know I have the reputation of being a bit of a perfectionist. In fact, before Lucy was hired four years ago, I had been through twelve assistants in thirteen years. That’s one reason why today is such a sad day for me. While I am ecstatic that Lucy will have more time to devote to her novel, I am sorry that I have to find someone to replace her. It’s not going to be easy.

Lucy is amazingly gifted at reading my mind. In fact, it’s a little scary how she seems to know what I want before I ask for it. This ESP, or whatever gift she has been blessed with, has saved me on more than one occasion. I’ll never forget how she interrupted me during a meeting with Mrs. Franklin to remind me of something that saved that account. She also kept me out of the doghouse at home by purchasing perfect Mother’s Day and anniversary gifts for Louise.

While I certainly will miss Lucy’s contributions to our workplace, I am most sad for our clients. Everyone loves Lucy, and they are as heartbroken as I am that she is retiring.  

For a teacher

Throughout Mrs. Anderson’s career, she has taught approximately 2,300 students. That means she has graded more than 18,000 essays, 2,300 research papers, and more book reports than you can imagine. Incredibly, her purple flair ink pen isn’t attached permanently to her hand with all of the grading she has done over the years.

But more important than the essays and book reports are the relationships she has formed with her students over the last three decades. She has comforted students who have lost family members and helped kids find jobs. She has written letters of recommendation for scholarships and advised many in their careers. 

On top of her work as an English teacher, she has overseen the publication of the yearbook and newspaper, traveled with students to Europe, ran the concession stand at football games, coached the cheerleaders, and sat through negotiations each year on behalf of the teachers’ union. 

Mrs. Anderson – you deserve a break. We hope you can sleep in each morning, stay up late reading novels each night, and travel the globe without the fear of losing a kid. Congratulations on your retirement!

For a family member

It’s hard to imagine our Dad without a job. This place has been a part of his routine for so long that he may show up on Monday simply out of habit. In fact, we may have to put a sign on the back of his front door reminding him to stay at home. 

And Dad loved every minute of it. Unlike most people, Dad never complained about his job. In fact, when we prayed as a family before each meal, Dad often expressed thanks for this company and his job. 

But, we are thankful that he can now stay home. He’s worked hard for a long time and deserves a break. But don’t worry – he won’t be sitting around for long. My siblings and I all have lists of home repairs that only Dad can do. We’ve also scheduled a few fishing trips over the next several months.

Thank you for inviting my siblings and me to this retirement party. It’s been a lovely day. I only wish Mom could have survived long enough to see Dad retire. She was always so proud of Dad for everything he accomplished. I’m sure she is smiling down on us right now. 

Funny retirement speech

Christopher has many gifts and talents. And he has contributed a lot to our company over the years. He’s been the top salesperson for twenty-three out of the twenty-five years he has worked here. He has worked hard to streamline our processes to work smarter, not harder. He has also been a leader in our industry by representing us in front of the state legislature. 

Even though I can easily provide you with a long list of awards and accolades, he will forever be known in this office as the person who was always misplacing his stuff. We found his keys by the copier, his wallet next to the giant fern in the back room, his raincoat on Mitch’s desk, and his water bottles – everywhere. It’s always been a mystery to everyone how someone absentminded can perform in a high-pressure job so well. 

So, we have purchased a tile tracker system to help you keep track of all your stuff on behalf of your retirement. Now that you won’t have an entire staff of people keeping track of your personal belongings, we think this might help. It may also keep Louise from killing you during your first week at home.

Retirement: The Next Stage in Life

As we stand on the precipice of one chapter ending and another beginning, we must recognize and celebrate the journey that brought us here. Whether you’re the one stepping into the golden years of retirement or honoring a colleague making that leap, words are powerful. A heartfelt speech can encapsulate years of dedication, camaraderie, and growth.

Retirement isn’t just about saying goodbye to a job. It’s about acknowledging the passion, identity, and pride that one has in their career. For many, their career is a significant part of their life’s narrative. 

As you craft your speech or pen down your thoughts, remember to celebrate this dedication. It might take a bit more effort, but the impact of genuine appreciation will resonate deeply, marking a memorable transition into the next exciting phase of life.

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Here are some one-liners and .

You can easily change the wording to suit your situation.

For example, rather than: "I always arrived late at the office, but I made up for it by leaving early", you can say:

"John always arrived late at the office, but he made up for it by leaving early".

Some retirement jokes and quotes:

"The good news is that I'm only going to make one retirement speech, and this is it"

"When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch" R C Sherriff

"It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man" Scott Elledge

"The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does" Anonymous

Some for retirement speeches:

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. , he said. , the woman said. , he said.

The boss is finally old enough to retire from the company. On his last day of work, he ordered a farewell party for himself. The boss wanted everyone to express their good feeling about him by writing on the farewell card, so later he could remember how his staff 'miss' him. Most people are writing standard phrases like, . Obviously the boss was not satisfied. Slowly but firmly, John wrote,

These last two jokes come from and that may be a place to look for more jokes for retirement speeches.

If you need further help finding jokes for retirement speeches you can visit our page.

Or you may be interested in our page

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Amazing Retirement Speeches Examples & Writing Tips

Writing memorable retirement speeches: expert tips & examples.

Writing your retirement speech seems daunting? You are not alone. In this post, our professional speechwriters share techniques for writing a truly memorable speech.

People with whom you've worked for years have become an important part of your professional and personal life. You have spent more time with your coworkers than with your family members, and they witnessed your achievements as well as rough times. Thus, you'll want to craft a heartwarming retirement farewell speech to thank everyone for the good times spent together.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to writing a good retirement speech for any situation. The duration of the speech and what to include will depend on your relationships with coworkers, how many years you have spent in the company, and the corporate culture. In this blog, we have summarized the main principles for writing a great retirement speech plus some examples for your inspiration.

If writing isn't your forte and you still want to express your co-worker with a memorable retirement speech, get professional help. On our website, you can order a custom retirement speech at a pocket-friendly price. Share what you'd like to include in your speech, and our expert will find the right words for your important event, keeping your speech professional yet powerful and emotional.

Two memorable retirement speech examples

If you are looking for sample speeches for your retirement party or the final meeting at the office, check out the examples below. You can customize them a little, or use them as an inspiration to write your own speech.

Formal retirement speech

examples of funny retirement speeches

This example of a speech of a person retiring has a formal tone and is focused on their professional achievements. It also expresses sincere gratitude towards colleagues and reiterates important professional highlights.

Funny retirement speech example

examples of funny retirement speeches

This humorous speech won an international speech contest decades ago. If you want to draft an informal speech, pay attention to the structure and tone of voice in this example.

Professional tips on what to say in your retirement speech

As you give a speech for your retirement celebration, things can easily go wrong. Some people get carried away and use unprofessional jokes and personal stories that make others feel uncomfortable. Others prepare thoroughly, but their speech lacks warmth and emotion. Here's how to compose a speech that will sound professional, appropriate, and sincere.

Keep it on a positive note

Not all companies can boast a positive working environment and strong relationships between the co-workers. Even if your boss had anger management issues and some coworkers were toxic, do not bring this up on your retirement day. Focus on the positive side of things - you can think of some good moments during your fulfilling career which are worth mentioning. If coworkers failed to become your second family, compliment them on their work ethic and mention the results you've achieved as a team.

Be grateful

As you spend time creating your speech, devote at least one paragraph to expressing gratitude. Thank your boss, people that worked next to you every day, and mention a few people you had strong relationships with. You may even share a short story about some project or achievement. If at least one family member is present, thank them for supporting you in your career as well. To make a lasting impression also mention what you've achieved with the company, what challenges you faced, and who helped you along the way.

Mind the event and the audience

You will want to adapt the content of your speech depending on where the event will take place and how many people will be present. Obviously, the text of the speech for a company-wide meeting with two hundred people and a small gathering in your office will be different. In the latter case, you can keep your speech less formal as if you were speaking to close friends, but do not forget to keep it professional. If speaking for a larger audience, you might want to leave insider jokes out and focus on things that everyone in a room will understand.

Choose the right tone

If you work for a company that encourages a laid-back environment, casual clothes, and informal team-building events, it is absolutely fine to come up with a funny retirement speech. Your colleagues will appreciate it and see it as a sign of warm, friendly working relations. On the flip side, if you work in a serious organization with a formal professional culture, such as an investment bank, law firm, or a government institution, it is best to keep your speech formal and polite.

Share your ideas for retirement

The public opinion about retirement today is different from that of twenty years ago. Now, not everyone is looking forward to receiving a gold watch and a calm time off work. Your retirement speech will look even better if you share plans for the future. Tell what you'd like to do during your next chapter of life: consult and mentor others, start a new exciting hobby, or maybe travel. Let your friends and family know that you are looking forward to something new and interesting.

Use visual aids

Another good idea for retirement speeches is supporting them with visual aids. You can prepare a presentation with pictures from corporate events or celebrations, or share a video of some memorable moments. If you launch a presentation during your speech, it will evoke a bigger emotional response and help you truly connect with an audience.

Get professional help

After you've written a draft of your speech, ask for honest feedback from a trusted person, such as a family member or a friend. They will look at the text with a fresh eye and recommend what to add and remove. If you truly care about the success of your speech, consult a professional speechwriter. They will review your speech with a professional perspective and recommend improvements that will work better with the auidence.

Just a kind reminder: at SpeechPaths, you can order a customized speech for any special occasion, including a retirement speech. A dedicated expert will work one-on-one with you to craft the text that you'll be satisfied with. Hire an expert to write a retirement speech with a 20% discount today - chat with us to claim your code!

How to give a retirement speech for an employee?

If you aren't the one who is retiring and need to pay tribute to a retiring coworker or subordinate, you'll want to prepare thoroughly. The most important thing about such speeches is to keep them personalized. Find features specific to that person, and focus on these features as you bid farewell to them. You may not only pay homage to a retiree's work, but also mention their personality, complement their sense of humor, the ability to solve unsolvable problems, or a high-achieving spirit. Thank the person for their contribution to the company - after all, they have devoted years of their life to it, and their achievements need to be mentioned.

Preparing to give your retirement speech

Composing your speech is only a half of the journey. You also need to deliver it efficiently to impress the audience. Since public speaking is a challenge to many, take these tips from professional speech writers into account:

Prepare and practice

It is hardly possible to deliver a persuasive speech without proper preparation. Start practicing your speech days in advance: read it aloud, and work on your gestures and body language. You will have plenty of time to hear how your words actually sound, and add/paraphrase something to make the speech better. Moreover, as you practice delivering the speech to your family, you will feel more confident speaking to the audience on your big day.

Dress for success

A polished professional attire will help you feel more confident in everything you do, including public speaking. You don't need to be overdressed, but wearing a new pressed suit and freshening your nails will make you look more considerate during the official retirement day.

Master techniques to stay calm

Many people find speaking to a large crowd intimidating. You may feel anxious, have sweaty palms, and other symptoms of stress. To calm down before the speech, try breathing exercises - the simplest one is counting to four as you breathe in and out. Other methods to beat anxiety include meditation - give yourself a few minutes before getting on stage - and visualization techniques. Imagine the room and the audience, and plan every move in advance. Keep a glass of water at hand in case you have a sore throat - you can also take a sip or two when you need to pause.

Keep it brief

Whether delivering the speech is an exciting perspective for you or you are anxious about it, remember to keep it short. As a rule, you need to keep it between 5 to 10 minutes. No need to pay tribute to every person you worked with and recollect every workplace situation. Mention only the most important milestones and people who played a key role in your professional life. Time yourself as you practice speaking at home to keep your speech at optimal length and not to bore the audience.

Choose a point you will look at

If you don't deliver speeches frequently, your eyes may start to wander as you speak, and you can get distracted or simply feel uncomfortable. Here's the solution: find a point that you will look at as you speak. This can be a clock or a poster on the opposite wall. The audience will think that you are looking at the back row, and you'll be able to concentrate on your speech entirely.

As you write and deliver your retirement speech, do not forget about the main thing: have fun during the process! Speeches may sound stressful, but eventually your retirement party will become a memorable day that will evoke only positive emotions.

Get professional help with your speech, anytime

At SpeechPaths, we deliver insightful and memorable speeches for every professional and personal occasion. If you lack inspiration to draft your retirement speech, let us know and our expert will prepare a speech tailored to your requirements in as little as 12 hours. We offer amazing prices for first-time customers - contact us and make sure!

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Retirement Speech Examples and Ideas That Get It Right

As a fomer educator and mom blogger who's a mother of four, Kristin shares helpful tips and advice on a variety of topics.

Learn about our Editorial Policy .

It is customary for a person retiring to give a speech, either at a retirement celebration or at a final meeting in the workplace. If writing a retirement speech isn't really in your wheelhouse, don't worry! It's easy to write a retirement speech when you create some focus for your words.

Original Sample Speeches for Retirees

If you need a little more guidance on writing your retirement speech, check out these original sample speeches. They might help inspire your own speech or might be appropriate to use with a little customizing. For help with downloading or printing these sample speeches, refer to the Guide for Adobe Printables .

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A Grateful Retirement Speech

Over the last few decades, you have probably spent more time with your co-workers than you have with your own family! For better and sometimes for worse, your co-workers have been a huge part of your career and your life. They have celebrated weddings, babies, and promotions with you. They likely comforted you in times of loss and were there when you hit a rough patch on the job. Use your retirement speech to pay homage to the people you worked with and the family and friends who supported you throughout your working years. This speech format focuses on gratitude and acknowledges the speaker's coworkers and family.

A Serious Retirement Speech

Some workplaces are fun and relaxed environments to spend your days, and others have a far more serious tone to them. If your workplace does not appreciate humor, or if you feel more reflective than funny about this milestone, a serious speech can be a good way to close this chapter of your life. As long as a serious speech is heartfelt and doesn't feel cold or removed, it will surely do the trick.

A Funny Retirement Speech

Some retirees want to go out with a bang! These people need to nail a speech that engages the audience with humor and brings smiles to faces surrounding him/her. During the final moments of your career, remind your colleagues, superiors, friends, and family why you were so much to be around for all those years and how much they will miss your banter around the watercooler. This speech is meant to prompt laughter while poking a little fun at the people who must return to work on the next workday. When creating a humorous speech, be sure to balance jokes and jests with grace and class. Humor speeches should never tread into the waters of offensive.

Related: Funny Retirement Quotes for a Hilarious Send-Off

Giving a Retirement Speech for an Employee

If you are the head honcho at work and you have an employee retiring, you will want to send him/her off with a well-thought-out, carefully planned speech.

Tailor the Speech to the Employee

The person who is retiring has given the company you both work for decades of his/her life. Show the retiree respect by handcrafting a speech specific to them. If they are full of personality, jokes and have a fun-loving spirit, then write up a funny speech full of hilarious memories and inside jokes. If they are better known for their serious side and hard work ethic, play on those qualities, incorporating them into a more serious speech.

Retirement Speech Etiquette

When you're writing your retirement speech, keep in mind the culture of your workplace. While you want to inject your own personality into it, you don't want to deliver a speech that will make other people uncomfortable. Follow a few key etiquette tips to ensure that you stay in your lane and don't veer too far off course during your speech.

Stay Positive

A retirement speech is not the appropriate opportunity in which to air your grievances. Even if you're leaving a workplace that you largely considered toxic, filled with co-workers who might benefit from anger management training , you should focus on the positive. Do your best to drum up the good and steer clear of the bad. Thank your co-workers for their passion or comment on the promptness that the company functions under.

Time the Speech Accordingly

How long your speech runs largely depends on the venue and tone of the event. If you're standing up in a meeting to say farewell, you should take less time than if you're giving your speech at a formal celebration intended only to celebrate your retirement. Ask the event coordinator how much time they set aside for your speech and stick to the time allotted. If no guidance is given otherwise, for a formal celebration, aim for a speech lasting under 10 minutes. For a quick stand up in a meeting, you should not exceed three minutes.

Read the Room

Consider your audience. Your now-former colleagues are likely comprised of older and younger people who are now all sitting in the venue awaiting your words. When you deliver your speech, regardless of the speech style and tone, be sure to address those who have been with you for many years, as well as newcomers to the workplace. Pay homage to everyone surrounding you and make sure all feel like a part of your journey.

Be Grateful

Thank all the people who helped you along the way in your career, including those outside the workplace such as mentors, family, and close friends. It's important to thank the people within your workplace responsible for pulling together your retirement celebration. Before drafting a retirement speech, draft a list of must-mention people. If you have many people to include in your tribute, consider grouping some folks into a department. For example, you could say, "I could not have made it through my days without the dedication and assistance of the ______ department."

There is nothing wrong with asking a trusted person to review your speech before you finalize it. They may come up with ideas or insights you didn't think of. Allow a few people to read through your speech or listen to you read through a draft of your speech before finalizing it. Take their thoughts into consideration. You don't have to change up your whole speech on account of others, but ponder their suggestions in the very least.

Delivery Tips

Speaking in public can be difficult for people unaccustomed to it, but there are steps you can take to ease your anxiety.

Dress and Dazzle

Put on something clean and pressed, give yourself a shave or freshen up your nails and makeup. You don't have to look like a supermodel, but you do want to put a bit of thought and consideration into your look on your retirement day. For many in the audience, this is the last time they will see you, so give them a bit of a show. Sometimes when people put on their best, they feel more confident and ready to take on challenges that lie ahead.

Practice Beforehand

Nobody expects you to memorize your speech, but you should familiarize yourself with your completed speech before you try to deliver it to a crowd. Reading it aloud beforehand may reveal portions that will make you emotional, and you don't want to get caught off-guard by getting choked up. Knowing that you are not going into a cold read can help reduce your anxiety levels on your big day.

Breathe Deeply to Calm Down

As you wait to deliver your speech, take slow, deep breaths to help relieve your nervousness. Envision your lungs and balloons and fill them with air, then forcefully exhale. This type of breathing can help calm you.

Have Water Handy

The body reacts to stress in different ways. If you feel anxious about delivering a speech in front of people, your throat might tighten up. A cup of water by your side allows you to take a moment, clear your throat, and continue with the speech. Additionally, it's a good idea to have tissues or a handkerchief nearby in case you tear up.

Choose a Go-To Focal Point

Find a spot on the furthest wall of the room and make that your go-to focal point. It might be an exit sign or a clock but look at your focal point when you have trouble looking at your audience - especially if the people close to you are getting emotional and you're afraid you might become emotional too. The other benefit to the focal point being at the furthest wall is that it will appear to your audience as though you're simply looking at the back row instead of staring at an exit sign or clock.

Remember: The Speech Won't Last Forever

This speech, daunting as it may seem, is only 3-10 minutes of your entire life. You WILL get through it, and then it is over, tucked away to memories for the rest of your days. Remind yourself that you will only be standing and speaking for a short span of time, and then you will be done. Even if you envision a million things going wrong, the reality is that none of it likely will. Our concerns are always worse than the reality.

Enjoy the Moment

You worked hard to get to the point of retirement . Nobody expects an Emmy award-winning performance from you, so try to enjoy this one final work task of thanking the people who helped make your retirement possible.

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How To Write A Memorable Retirement Speech: A Complete Guide

Retirement—a remarkable milestone, a time for celebration and heartfelt appreciation. As you prepare to deliver a speech that honors the retiree, it’s essential to make it truly exceptional. This guide is here to help you do just that with a conversational and engaging approach.

In this practical guide, we’ll unlock the secrets to crafting a stand-out retirement speech. From expressing genuine gratitude to sharing light-hearted anecdotes and inspiring words, we’ll cover the essential elements that will make your speech shine.

You’ll find valuable tips, techniques, and relatable examples to guide you every step of the way. With this guidance, you’ll gain the skills to deliver a speech that captivates, uplifts, and creates cherished memories for the retiree and everyone present. Whether you’re a close colleague, a dear friend, or a loving family member, this guide will be your trusted companion as you create a retirement address that resonates deeply.

Are you ready to honor the retiree and craft a speech that leaves a lasting impact? Let’s dive right in and uncover the secrets to preparing a retirement speech that will be remembered and cherished for years.

What Makes a Great Retirement Speech?

A heartfelt and memorable retirement speech is a culmination of several key elements. Let’s explore what separates a great retirement speech and how to incorporate these elements into your tribute.

black corded microphone with stand

Expressing gratitude

One of the fundamental aspects of a remarkable retirement speech is expressing sincere gratitude to the retiree. Take the time to reflect on their contributions, impact, and how they have touched the lives of others. Share specific examples and heartfelt appreciation for their dedication, expertise, and the positive influence they have had on colleagues, students, or the community.

Understanding the audience

An excellent retirement speech is tailored to resonate with the audience. Consider who will be present at the retirement gathering and what they value most about the retiree. Adapt your speech to connect with their shared experiences, sentiments, and why they hold the retiree in high regard. Understanding the audience helps you create a speech that truly speaks to their hearts.

Choosing a speaker who knows the retiree well

When selecting the person to deliver the retirement speech, choose someone who deeply understands the retiree’s journey, accomplishments, and personal qualities. This speaker should have an intimate knowledge of the retiree’s impact, allowing them to authentically convey the retiree’s story, achievements, and character traits that deserve recognition.

Keeping it short but meaningful

While it’s tempting to recount every detail of the retiree’s career, it’s essential to strike a balance between brevity and meaningfulness. Keep your speech concise, focusing on the most significant aspects of the retiree’s professional journey. Select anecdotes, achievements, or moments that best represent their impact, and share them in a way that captures the essence of their career and leaves a lasting impression on the audience.

Organizing notes and structuring the speech effectively

Organize your notes and structure the speech effectively to ensure a smooth and coherent delivery. Start with a compelling opening that grabs the audience’s attention and establishes a connection. Arrange your thoughts logically, transitioning smoothly from one point to the next. Consider using storytelling techniques to engage the audience and make your speech more relatable. Conclude with a powerful closing that leaves the audience inspired and grateful for the retiree’s contributions.

By incorporating these elements into your retirement speech, you’ll create a powerful tribute that expresses gratitude, resonates with the audience, and captures the essence of the retiree’s career. So, let’s move forward and explore how to write and deliver a retirement speech that will be remembered for years.

How to Write a Retirement Speech

When it comes to writing a retirement speech, it’s all about capturing the essence of the retiree’s journey, expressing heartfelt gratitude, and creating a memorable experience for the audience. This section explores practical tips and creative strategies to help craft a speech that has a lasting impact. From finding inspiration and injecting humor to tailoring your words to the audience, let’s delve into the art of writing a remarkable retirement speech.

a thank you note sitting on top of a table next to a pair of glasses

Start with expressing gratitude

Begin your retirement speech by expressing genuine gratitude to the retiree. Thank them for their dedication, hard work, and the positive impact they have had on others. Share specific examples of how their contributions have made a difference, leaving a lasting legacy. Remember, heartfelt appreciation sets the tone for an impactful tribute.

Ideas and inspiration for the speech content

When brainstorming speech content, consider the retiree’s notable achievements, memorable moments, and the unique qualities that define them. Reflect on their professional journey, personal growth, and the challenges they overcame. Incorporate stories, anecdotes, and quotes that highlight their character and contributions. Let their story inspire and resonate with the audience.

Crafting a funny retirement speech

Humor can be an excellent addition to a retirement speech, lightening the atmosphere and bringing smiles to everyone’s faces. Consider incorporating a well-placed joke or lighthearted anecdote if appropriate and in line with the retiree’s personality. Remember, humor should always be respectful and inclusive, ensuring it enhances the overall speech experience.

Keep the audience in mind while writing

As you craft your retirement speech, always keep the audience in mind. Consider their relationship with the retiree, their shared experiences, and what they value most about them. Tailor your words and anecdotes to resonate with the audience, ensuring they can connect with your sentiments and feel a sense of unity in celebrating the retiree’s accomplishments.

Seek a review from a trusted person

Before finalizing your retirement speech, consider seeking the feedback and review of a trusted individual who knows the retiree well. They can provide valuable insights, help refine the content, and ensure that your speech accurately reflects the retiree’s journey and impact. Their input can add depth and authenticity to your tribute.

Skills Required to Deliver a Retirement Speech

Now that you’ve mastered the art of writing a great retirement farewell speech, it’s time to explore the essential skills that will elevate your delivery and leave a lasting impact on your audience. Crafting the perfect speech is just one piece of the puzzle—how you deliver it is equally important.

a group of people sitting in a room

Confidence and public speaking skills

Confidence is key when delivering a retirement speech. Embrace the fulfilling career and remarkable accomplishments of the person retiring. Stand tall, speak with conviction, and let your confidence shine through. Remember, you are chosen to honor their journey, so own the stage and captivate the audience with your words.

Engaging with the audience

o create a memorable experience, engaging with everyone present at the retirement party is essential. Look into the eyes of family members, colleagues, and friends, making a genuine connection. Use your words to transport them into the retiree’s world, evoking emotions and shared memories. Let your speech be a conversation that embraces and includes everyone in the celebration.

Using appropriate body language and vocal delivery

Your body language and vocal delivery are powerful tools to convey your message. Maintain an open and confident posture, using gestures to emphasize key points. Modulate your voice, allowing it to reflect the emotions and significance of the moment. You’ll capture the audience’s attention and create a captivating atmosphere using your body and voice effectively.

Choosing a go-to focal point for speech delivery

When delivering your retirement speech, select a focal point that symbolizes the retiree’s journey. It could be a cherished memento, a significant photograph, or even the retiree themselves. Let this focal point guide your speech, grounding you in the essence of their accomplishments and their impact on others. This visual representation will enhance your delivery and add depth to your tribute.

Tips for Delivering a Retirement Speech

So, the big retirement celebration is just around the corner, and you’re eager to deliver a speech that honors the retiree’s work and bids farewell with grace. In this section, we’ll share practical tips to help you shine on retirement day. From practicing and rehearsing your speech to expressing genuine gratitude, let’s dive in and discover how to make your delivery truly impactful while navigating the excitement and emotions that lie ahead.

Formal man with tablet giving presentation in office

Practice and rehearse the speech

Practice makes perfect, they say, and that holds true for delivering a memorable retirement speech. Review your words, familiarize yourself with the flow and pacing, and ensure you feel comfortable with the content. Practice in front of a mirror, enlist the help of a friend, or even record yourself to gain confidence and fine-tune your delivery.

Delivery tips for an impactful speech

When the retirement celebration arrives, it’s time to put your delivery skills into action. Remember to make eye contact, speak clearly, and project your voice to ensure everyone can hear your heartfelt words. Engage the audience through gestures, smiles, and pauses, allowing your words to resonate and create a genuine connection.

Keeping the speech length appropriate

While you may have a lot to say about the retiree’s accomplishments and their impact, it’s essential to keep the speech length in check. Aim for a balance between heartfelt storytelling and concise delivery. Time yourself during practice sessions and make adjustments as needed to ensure your speech fits within the allotted timeframe, allowing others to share their sentiments.

Expressing gratitude genuinely

As you stand before the audience, express your gratitude from the depths of your heart. Be genuine, sincere, and specific in your appreciation for the retiree’s contributions. Share personal anecdotes and stories that highlight their character and the positive influence they’ve had. Let your words convey the profound impact of their work and express heartfelt thanks for their dedication.

With these tips in mind, you’re well on your way to delivering an impactful retirement speech that celebrates the retiree’s achievements and sets the stage for the exciting chapter ahead in their personal life. So, let’s practice, prepare, and get ready to express your gratitude genuinely, leaving a lasting impression on this special day.

Retirement Speech Examples: Inspiration for your tribute

Looking for inspiration to craft your own remarkable retirement speech? This section presents a collection of retirement speech examples that will ignite your creativity and guide you in expressing heartfelt gratitude.

three crumpled yellow papers on green surface surrounded by yellow lined papers

These examples will help you strike the right tone and create a speech that leaves a lasting impact, allowing you to express gratitude for the retiree’s contributions eloquently. From heartfelt tributes to lighthearted anecdotes, let these speech examples guide you as you navigate the art of honoring a remarkable career and spending quality time with those who matter most. Get ready to embark on your journey of creating unforgettable retirement speeches filled with genuine expressions of gratitude.

Grateful retirement speech example

“Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed colleagues, and honored guests, today we gather together to pay tribute to a remarkable individual who has graced our lives and organization with their presence for many years. As we bid farewell to [Retiree’s Name], we reflect on an extraordinary career. They have exemplified excellence, dedication, and an unwavering commitment to making a difference throughout their tenure.

From their early days as a [mention early role] to their rise through the ranks, [Retiree’s Name] has consistently demonstrated a passion for [mention their main contributions]. They have become a true pillar of our team, a guiding force, and an inspiration to us all. Their tireless efforts and innovative thinking have propelled our organization forward, leaving an indelible mark on the landscape of [industry/field].

But beyond their professional accomplishments, [Retiree’s Name] has also been a beacon of kindness and compassion. Always ready with a word of encouragement, a listening ear, or a helping hand, they have touched the lives of countless colleagues on both a personal and professional level. Their mentorship and guidance have shaped careers, fostered growth, and created an environment where everyone felt valued and supported.

Today, as we express our deepest gratitude, let us remember the invaluable lessons we have learned from [Retiree’s Name]. They have taught us the importance of perseverance, the power of collaboration, and the impact that one individual can have on an entire organization. We are forever indebted to their dedication and vision.

So, as we bid farewell to [Retiree’s Name], let us do so not with sadness but with pride and admiration. Let us celebrate their legacy, their impact, and the countless lives they have touched. On behalf of the entire organization, I extend our heartfelt thanks for the privilege of working alongside such an exceptional individual. We wish [Retiree’s Name] a retirement filled with joy, fulfillment, and new adventures. May this be the beginning of an exciting new chapter where they can fully embrace the well-deserved rewards that await them. Thank you, [Retiree’s Name], for everything you have done.”

Funny retirement speech example

“Hey everyone, can we get a round of applause for the star of the day? That’s right; it’s time to celebrate [Retiree’s Name]’s grand exit from the world of early alarms and office shenanigans! Today, we bid farewell to someone who has been a dedicated colleague and a master of turning the office into a place of laughter and good times.

[Retiree’s Name], where do we even begin? From the moment they walked through those office doors, they brought a breath of fresh air and a truckload of humor. It seemed like they had a secret stash of hilarious one-liners for every occasion, turning even the dullest of meetings into an improv comedy show.

But it wasn’t just their quick wit that made [Retiree’s Name] a comedic genius. No, they had a talent for finding humor in the most unexpected places. Remember that time when [share a funny and memorable anecdote]? [Retiree’s Name] managed to turn what could have been a disaster into a legendary tale that still has us laughing to this day.

Beyond their jokes and pranks, [Retiree’s Name] was a friend, a confidant, and the reason why coming to work felt like a visit to the comedy club. Their contagious infectious laughter brightened our spirits and made the toughest days seem bearable. We all knew that if we needed a pick-me-up or a good laugh, we could count on [Retiree’s Name] to deliver.

So, as we gather here today to bid farewell, let us not shed tears of sadness but tears of laughter, reminiscing about the hilarious moments we shared. [Retiree’s Name], you’ve left an indelible mark on our hearts, and our days at the office won’t be the same without your quick comebacks and infectious sense of humor.

As you step into this new chapter of your life, may the laughter continue to follow you wherever you go. May your days be filled with endless adventures, hilarious escapades, and moments that make you double over with laughter. Thank you, [Retiree’s Name], for being the office comedian, the laughter catalyst, and a true friend. We wish you a retirement that’s as funny and joyful as you’ve made our time together. Cheers to you!”

So, let’s raise our glasses and toast to [Retiree’s Name], the office prankster extraordinaire, as we bid them farewell and wish them an abundance of laughter in their retirement.

Short retirement speech example

“Ladies and gentlemen, today marks a bittersweet moment as we say goodbye to our esteemed colleague, [Retiree’s Name]. They have dedicated themselves to [mention specific achievements] in their years of service. Their impact on our team is immeasurable, and their presence will be deeply missed. As we bid farewell, let us carry forward their spirit of excellence, commitment, and camaraderie. Thank you, [Retiree’s Name], for inspiring us all and leaving an indelible mark on our hearts.”

Wrapping Up: Crafting Memorable Retirement Speeches with Gratitude and Impact

In summary, this guide has provided valuable insights into crafting memorable retirement speeches. We have emphasized the importance of expressing heartfelt gratitude, connecting with the audience, choosing a speaker who knows the retiree well, keeping the speech concise yet meaningful, and organizing notes effectively.

persons left hand with silver ring

By incorporating these key points, you can create a retirement speech that resonates with the retiree and the audience. Remember, not everyone is a natural public speaker, but anyone can deliver a meaningful tribute with practice and honest feedback.

So, as you embark on this journey, remember to express gratitude sincerely, connect with the audience, and deliver a speech that leaves a lasting impact. Your words have the power to celebrate a fulfilling career and bid farewell with warmth and sincerity.

Use this guide as your roadmap, embrace the challenge, and create a retirement speech that will truly be remembered. The retiree and the audience await your heartfelt words.

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Giving Your Perfect Retirement Speech

senior retired woman celebrating with a balloon and a party hat

You’re about to retire and your employer just announced your retirement party date. 

It’s official — it’s time to start planning your retirement party — from ideas to invitations — and celebrate!

Except… you feel a pang of anxiety creep in as you realize:

You need to give a retirement speech…

Before you start to panic, we’re here to help – this guide walks you through everything you need to know about giving a retirement speech that will leave your audience laughing, crying, and remembering. 

After all, a retirement speech is more than just a farewell.

It’s a celebration of years of hard work, a reflection of the journey you’ve been through, and an exciting hello to the new adventures that await. 

Not to mention, it’s also your chance to express gratitude , share memories, and maybe even inspire someone else in their career journey.

So, let’s head into the first step on how to give your perfect retirement speech.

#1 Do a Creative Brainstorm Session

As cheesy as it sounds, having a solid brainstorm session before you begin writing your milestone retirement speech is worth the dedicated effort. 

Retirement is a momentous occasion that deserves a proper sendoff — and that means having a speech prepared that really captures the essence of your time with the company. But where do you even begin? 

With so many memories and experiences to draw from, it can be overwhelming to try and encapsulate it all. That’s why brainstorming first is the way to go.

If you’re looking for brainstorming techniques that spark creativity , try some of these ideas (popularized by organizations yet relevant and effective for any topic):

  • Starbursting or mind mapping – to give your ideas some structure and central theme
  • The idea napkin – to simplify a central theme and build from there
  • Figure storming – to put yourself in another’s shoes and ask your version of “what would Abe do?”
  • Rapid ideation – to throw in a range of ideas without judgment  

Either way, consider the milestones you’ve achieved, the people who have supported you, and the memories that have shaped you. 

Think about the future, too — what do you hope to accomplish in your retirement? Who do you want to become? 

Take some time to think about what new adventures you want to embark on and what kind of legacy you want to leave behind. 

Once you’ve brainstormed all the wonderful memories you want to share in your retirement speech, the next step is to prepare an outline.

#2 Prepare an Outline

An outline is like a roadmap that helps you stay on track and organized as you share your thoughts. 

After you’ve poured out all of your ideas from the creative brainstorm session, use an outline to break down your thoughts into sections, making it easier to organize and deliver your message cohesively. 

Plus, when you write things down on paper, it’s so much easier to sift through your ideas and memorize them later on.

You can break your retirement speech ideas into sections like:

  • The starting point — this is where you share the beginning of your career journey. It’s a chance to reflect on where it all began, maybe even share a funny or inspiring story about your first day or job.
  • The milestones — here, you highlight the significant turning points in your career. These could be promotions, challenging projects, or even hardships that shaped your professional growth.
  • The relationships — acknowledge the people who made your career meaningful. From mentors to colleagues, clients to friends, share anecdotes that showcase the bonds you’ve formed.
  • The lessons learned — share some wisdom you’ve gained over the years. These could be professional lessons or personal growth insights, which could inspire others at their own career crossroads.
  • The farewell — this isn’t just a goodbye; it’s a celebration of what’s yet to come. Go over your retirement plans and your dreams for the future.

brainstorm your retirement speech by thinking about the starting point, the milestones, the people, the lessons learned and your farewell

And this is just an example of an outline that’s based on chronological happenings. There’s no right or wrong way to do this; it’s your story, told your way. Just organize it into a nice outline flow.

#3 Include Personal Anecdotes 

As you prepare to bid farewell to the workforce and embrace retirement, it’s only natural to feel nostalgic and reflect on all the memorable moments you’ve experienced throughout your work life. 

Perhaps there was a project that presented a seemingly insurmountable challenge, but you and your team persisted and eventually conquered it. 

Or maybe there was a hilarious incident that still makes you chuckle to this day, even though it happened years ago. 

And who could forget the nervous excitement that comes with starting a new job? 

Regardless of the topic, your personal storytelling is not just a way to entertain your listeners, but it’s also a way to showcase the good times, the bad times, and everything that came in between. 

Carmine Gallo researched some of the most popular TED Talks and found that personal stories accounted for 65% of their content.

The best TED Talks are made of 65% personal stories, 25% data, facts and figures, and 10% resume builders to reinforce credibility

So it’s worth showcasing personal storytelling in your retirement speech. Your stories can have a similar effect on your audience, reminding them of the ups and downs of being in the workforce, and how it all comes full circle in the end. 

#4 Express Gratitude

On top of your personal storytelling, writing a retirement speech is the perfect opportunity to express your gratitude and appreciation for those who have made a difference in your life. 

Whether it’s your team who has stood by you through thick and thin, mentors who have offered guidance and support, family who has provided a listening ear, or even the organization itself that has given you opportunities to grow, take the time to express your heartfelt thanks. 

This is especially important if you want to maintain ties to some of your colleagues and coworkers after retiring from the workforce. In fact, one study about gratitude, reciprocity, and relationships , suggests that gratitude promotes relationship formation and maintenance.

Either way, a retirement speech without gratitude is simply incomplete. So, let your appreciation shine through. 

#5 Inject Humor 

Before you get too sentimental, remember that humor can go a long way in making your farewell speech a memorable one. 

Don’t be afraid to delve into your treasure trove of funny stories or throw in some witty remarks — it’s sure to have the crowd giggling and smiling in no time. 

And don’t worry if you’re not a stand-up comedian, the best jokes are often the simplest ones . Research has shown that people respond well to humor that’s easy to follow and relatable. 

people respond best to humor that's easy to follow & relatable

So, keep it light, keep it funny, and channel your inner comedian.

#6 Conclude with Positive Impact 

As the last words of your retirement speech echo through the room, you may find yourself feeling a swirl of emotions. It’s understandable to feel bittersweet as you close a chapter in your life that has shaped much of who you are. 

But this isn’t a time to give in to overwhelming sentimentality. 

Instead, take a deep breath and focus on the positive moments that have defined your career. Remember the joy and fulfillment that you experienced over the years, and let those feelings of hope and satisfaction guide your final message. 

As the University of Minnesota reminds us, a strong conclusion is essential to signal the end of the speech and help the audience remember the main ideas. So, take this chance to really explain the importance of your message and inspire those around you with a positive closing theme.

It’s the perfect ending to a stellar career and the perfect start to your next adventure .

Retirement Speech Ideas & Examples

Crafting a memorable retirement speech is an art form that’s unique to you . It’s about striking the perfect balance between professional reflections and personal anecdotes. 

Here are some examples that can serve as inspiration for your own speech:

#1 Funny Retirement Speech

If you want to add some humor to your speech, then we’ve got you covered with this example:

“I stand before you today with a heart full of mixed emotions. Part of me is saying, “Finally! I can sleep in on Mondays!” while another part is wondering, “What on earth will I do with all this free time?”   You know, they say, “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” That’s a quote from A. A. Milne, better known for his creation Winnie-the-Pooh. And it rings true today. Working with all of you was a real pleasure. We’ve had our share of ups and downs, haven’t we? Like the time I accidentally sent that confidential email to the whole department instead of just my boss. Or when I spilled coffee all over the new carpet on its very first day. But hey, who’s counting?   [personal storytelling]   To wrap up, I’m too happy to be profound, too relieved to bestow any life advice upon you, and too old and tired to stand here for long, making a speech. I’ll think of you all every time I roll over and go back to sleep at 7:30 a.m. on a Monday. Thank you for all the memories, and remember, I’ve retired from work, not from life. So, don’t be strangers!”  

#2 Sentimental Retirement Speech

For a more heartfelt version, check out this retirement speech example:

“I’ve had the privilege of working alongside some of the most extraordinary people I’ve ever met.   Firstly, I want to express my deepest gratitude to each and every one of you. You have not only been my coworkers but also my mentors, my guides, and my pillars of support. You have been my second family, and for that, I am eternally grateful.   Whether it was late nights working on projects or celebrating our successes, each moment has left an indelible mark on me. And each one of you has enriched my life in so many ways, and I hope that in some way, I’ve been able to do the same for you.   [personal storytelling]   As I step into this new chapter, I carry with me the lessons I’ve learned here, the friendships I’ve made, and the memories we’ve created. I want to leave you with this thought: The beauty of life lies not in its length, but in the love and respect we share with those around us.   So, thank you for sharing this journey with me, for your wisdom, your guidance, and your friendship. Remember, this is not goodbye. It’s just a see you later. So, until we meet again, take care of yourselves and each other.”  

#3 Formal Retirement Speech

And if you’re looking for a more formal approach:

“ Thank you for joining me today as I announce my retirement. Over the past three decades, we have achieved milestones that were once distant dreams. It has been an honor to work with such dedicated individuals.   I am filled with gratitude for the countless opportunities I have been given, the invaluable lessons I have learned, and the unforgettable memories I have created. Each one of you has contributed to my journey in your own unique way, and for that, I will always be thankful.   [personal storytelling] I want to express my deepest appreciation to all of you. Your hard work, dedication, and commitment to excellence have not only made this organization the success that it is today, but also made my journey an incredibly rewarding one.   As I step into the future, I am excited about the opportunities that await me. However, I know that I will always carry a piece of this wonderful journey with me.   Thank you for the privilege of working with you, for the camaraderie, and for making this chapter of my life such a memorable one. I look forward to seeing all the remarkable things you will undoubtedly continue to achieve.”

Leaving on a High Note

Everyone’s retirement speech is going to be unique and special to them. 

But there are some common elements that you should keep in mind when preparing your own:

  • #1 Have a creative brainstorm session — let those memories, thoughts, and emotions pour out onto the page – there’s no right or wrong here, just your unique journey
  • #2 Prepare an outline — think of it as your roadmap, guiding you from one milestone to the next
  • #3 Include personal anecdotes — sprinkle in storytelling of your personal anecdotes, share those behind-the-scenes moments that brought laughter, tears, and everything in between
  • #4 Express gratitude — it’s your chance to acknowledge those who’ve walked this journey with you, to let them know how much their support has meant, and to say thank you from the bottom of your heart
  • #5 Inject humor — lighten the mood, share that funny story, let your audience laugh with you 
  • #6 Conclude with positive impact — leave your listeners with something positive to remember you by

Whether you choose to end your career with a funny toast, an emotional thank you, or a formal goodbye — your words can leave an indelible mark on those who are lucky enough to hear them and remember you by. 

Retirement Speech FAQ

What to say at a retirement speech for someone else.

When delivering a retirement speech for someone else, try to focus on their achievements, dedication, and contributions. Use personal anecdotes that highlight their individual character and work ethic. Keep it positive, motivational, and heartfelt. For example:

“John, your tireless dedication and exceptional leadership have been an inspiration to us all. Your journey has, not just been about milestones, but also about the lives you’ve touched along the way.”

How long should a retirement speech be?

A retirement speech should ideally be between 5-10 minutes long. This duration allows enough time to cover all the important points without dragging on.

How to start a retirement speech?

Starting a retirement speech can be as simple as a warm greeting followed by an introduction. You might even want to begin with a light-hearted joke or an inspiring quote. Either way, make it feel authentic. For example:

“Good evening everyone, I’d like to start by saying, retirement is when you stop living at work and start working at living!”

How to end a retirement speech?

Ending a retirement speech should come with a strong positive close, and include a blend of gratitude, reflection, and anticipation for the future. Here’s an example: 

“As I close this chapter and open a new one, I want to express my deep gratitude for the journey we’ve shared. We’ve laughed together, faced challenges together, and celebrated victories together. I’m proud of the work we’ve done and the impact we’ve made. Thank you for being a part of my journey. Here’s to new beginnings and the exciting adventures that lie ahead!”

What's Your Retirement Purpose?

portrait of Cyn Meyer, founder of Second Wind Movement and a certified retirement life coach

Retirement Life Coach

As a certified retirement life coach since 2018, Cyn has helped thousands of older adults turn their retirement years into remarkable years full of growth, purpose, and passion. Through her signature program Rewire My Retirement, she helps people achieve their best life across the 5 Rings of Retirement, which covers topics Growth, Community, Health, Giving Back, and Finance.

Cyn combines specific life coaching tools, neuroscience, and her extensive background in marketing (spanning 17 years) to make a powerful impact with Second Wind Movement – an organization dedicated to providing educational resources and coaching for seniors.

With meticulous research, insight, and passion, Cyn’s mission is to usher in a new wave of positive experiences for generations of retirees.

As a certified retirement life coach since 2018, Cyn has helped thousands of older adults turn their retirement years into remarkable years full of growth, purpose, and passion (beyond the stereotypical financial planning side of retirement). 

She combines specific life coaching tools, neuroscience, and her extensive background in marketing (spanning 17 years) to make a powerful impact with Second Wind Movement – an organization dedicated to providing educational resources and coaching for seniors.

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Retirement Speech Examples To Send You Off In Style

Retirement speech examples

Your retirement day speech is an opportunity to say goodbye to those you have worked with over the years. While it may not be a long speech, it typically includes thanks, stories about the past, what you are looking forward to, and motivation for other workers. Here are some retirement speech examples.

Your retirement represents a significant milestone in your life – it’s a time to bid farewell to a long and fulfilling career and embark on a new chapter of well-deserved relaxation and exploration. Delivering a retirement or farewell speech is a poignant and cherished tradition, offering an opportunity to reflect on the past and share simple messages of gratitude with colleagues, friends, and family.

This article presents a collection of inspiring retirement speech examples designed to help retirees craft their own memorable farewell addresses. Whether you’re seeking a touch of humor, heartfelt appreciation, or words of wisdom, these speeches will provide you with valuable guidance to create a lasting impression at your retirement celebration.

Table of Contents

What Is The Purpose Of A Retirement Speech?

The purpose of a retirement farewell speech is multi-faceted and holds significant meaning for the retiree and their audience. Here are a few key purposes:

  • It provides an opportunity for the retiree to  reflect on their career journey, accomplishments, and experiences throughout their working years. It also serves as a celebration of their contributions, highlighting milestones, successes, and the impact they have had on their profession.
  • They are a platform to  express sincere appreciation and gratitude to colleagues, mentors, friends, and family members  who have supported and influenced the retiree through their career. The retiree can acknowledge the individuals who have positively impacted their career and express heartfelt thanks for their guidance, collaboration, and friendship.
  • A retirement speech often includes  valuable insights, life lessons, and wisdom  gained over the course of a career. Retirees can share their experiences, offering advice and inspiration to those still working or embarking on their own professional journeys.
  • Retirement speeches  mark the transition from work to retirement .  They allow retirees to say goodbye to their colleagues and wish them good luck in the future.

What Do You Say When Retiring From A Job?

Retirement speech example for work to retirement

When retiring from a job, here are five examples of what you can say to make your retirement speech memorable:

  • Expressing Gratitude:  “Today, as I bid farewell to this incredible chapter of my life, I want to express my deepest gratitude to each and every one of you. Working alongside such talented and dedicated individuals has been an absolute privilege.”
  • Reflecting on Accomplishments : “As I reflect on my career, I am filled with immense pride and gratitude. Together, we have achieved great milestones and overcome numerous challenges. From groundbreaking projects to moments of triumph, each accomplishment has been a testament to our collective work ethic, dedication, and passion.”
  • Sharing Personal Growth:  “During my years of service here, I have grown not only professionally but also personally. This organization has provided invaluable opportunities to learn and develop my skills. I am forever grateful for the mentorship, guidance, and encouragement I have received.”
  • Offering Words of Wisdom : “As I step into retirement, I would like to share a few words of wisdom I have gathered along the way. Cherish the relationships you build; they are the true wealth of any career. Embrace change with an open mind, as it often leads to new and exciting possibilities.”
  • Looking to the Future:  “While this is a bittersweet moment, it also marks the beginning of an exciting new chapter. Retirement is not the end but rather a fresh start filled with endless possibilities. I wish each of you continued success and fulfillment in your journeys.

What Do You Say At An Employee Retirement Party?

An employee retirement party provides a more relaxed and celebratory atmosphere than a formal work setting.  While the overall tone may be casual, you should still deliver a thoughtful and meaningful speech containing the right words.

Here are some points to consider for your speech at an employee retirement party:

  • Begin by  warmly welcoming everyone  to the retirement party and expressing gratitude for their presence.  Acknowledge the retiree and highlight their significant contributions and achievements throughout their career.
  • Take a moment to  reflect on the retiree’s career journey and milestones.  Share anecdotes, stories, and memorable moments that showcase their impact on the organization, colleagues, and the broader work community.
  • Express your appreciation to the retiree  for their dedication, hard work, and positive influence on others. Recognize their accomplishments, leadership, and contribution to the company’s success.
  • Invite colleagues and friends to share their own memories  and well wishes for the retiree. Create an open and supportive environment where attendees can express their gratitude, share funny or heartwarming stories, and extend personal messages of appreciation.
  • End the speech by inspiring the retiree for the next chapter of their life.  Encourage them to embrace their new beginning with excitement, explore new passions, and enjoy some well-deserved relaxation.

What Should You Thank Your Boss For In Your Retirement Speech?

When expressing gratitude to your boss in your retirement speech, consider thanking them for the following:

  • Express appreciation for your boss’s  guidance and mentorship  throughout your career. Acknowledge their role in your professional development, whether through their advice, expertise, or willingness to share knowledge.
  • Thank your boss for  providing opportunities to grow and advance  in your career. Recognize their trust in your abilities and their support in challenging assignments or promotions.
  • Express  gratitude for the support and encouragement your boss provided  during your tenure. Recognize their role in boosting your morale, providing constructive feedback, and offering a nurturing work environment.
  • Acknowledge your boss’s advocacy  for your achievements and recognition. Thank them for their efforts in highlighting your contributions, whether it was through promotions, awards, or public acknowledgment.
  • Thank your boss for their leadership and the positive example  they set throughout your career. Express appreciation for their dedication, vision, and commitment to fostering a productive and thriving work environment.

examples of funny retirement speeches

What To Say At A Retirement Speech For Someone Else?

Here’s how to craft a heartfelt speech to honor a retiring colleague:

Start Strong:

  • Grab attention : “Good morning/afternoon everyone! Can I have your attention please?”
  • Celebrate the milestone: “Today, we celebrate [colleague’s name]’s well-deserved retirement!”

Highlight Contributions:

  • Mention their tenure: “[Colleague’s name] has been a valuable member of our team for [number] years.”
  • Focus on key skills: “[He/She] brought expertise in [mention specific skills]…”
  • Emphasize positive traits: “…and a [positive personality trait] attitude that always brightened our days.”

Personalize it (Optional):

  • Share a specific anecdote: Briefly tell a story about your colleague showcasing a positive quality or achievement.

Express Gratitude:

  • Thank them for their impact: “[Colleague’s Name], your dedication has left a lasting mark.”
  • Acknowledge you’ll miss them: “We’ll miss your presence, but…”

End with Well Wishes:

  • Express excitement for their future: “…we’re thrilled for you as you embark on this new chapter!”
  • Wish them well in retirement: “We wish you all the best, filled with [mention things they might enjoy].”

Conclude and Make a Toast:

  • “Let’s raise a toast to [colleague’s name]!”
  • “Please join me in wishing [him/her] a happy and healthy retirement!”

Remember: Keep it heartfelt, focus on their contributions, and express your best wishes for a fulfilling retirement.

What Do You Say In Your Retirement Speech?

Here is a template you can use as a reference for your retirement speech:

  • Get things underway with a warm greeting and express gratitude to the audience for their presence.
  • Share your excitement and gratitude for the opportunity to address everyone on this special occasion.
  • Set the tone for the speech by mentioning the significance of the moment and your emotions surrounding retirement.
  •  Reflect on your career journey – from the early days to the present.
  • Share key milestones, achievements, and memorable moments that shaped your professional life.
  •  Highlight the growth, challenges, and lessons learned along the way.
  • Extend your heartfelt gratitude to colleagues, superiors, mentors, and team members for their support and contributions.
  • Acknowledge the friendships, camaraderie, and collaborative spirit that made your career enjoyable and fulfilling.
  • Express gratitude for the trust, opportunities, and guidance you received throughout your career.
  •  Share personal anecdotes, stories, or lessons learned from your professional experiences.
  •  Offer words of wisdom or advice to colleagues and future generations in your field.
  •  Reflect on the impact your career has had on your personal growth and development.
  •  Extend well wishes to colleagues, the organization, and the industry as a whole.
  •  Express optimism for the future and excitement for the next chapter of your personal life.
  •  Share your retirement plans, whether pursuing new hobbies, spending time with loved ones, or embarking on new adventures.
  •  Conclude the speech by expressing gratitude once again and reiterating your appreciation for the support and memories created.
  • Offer a final heartfelt message of thanks, leaving a lasting impression on the audience.
  •  End with a positive and inspiring note, encouraging others to cherish their careers and make the most of their professional journeys.

Retirement Speech Examples

Retirement speech examples

Here are a few great retirement speech examples that you can use as inspiration for crafting your own farewell address:

Example 1:  Humorous and Appreciative

“Good morning, everyone! Today is the day I officially join the ranks of the retired. First and foremost, I want to  thank my colleagues for tolerating my questionable jokes and putting up with my endless requests for office supplies. 

Your laughter and patience made the journey worthwhile. I also want to express my deepest gratitude to my wonderful team.  Your dedication and hard work have been the driving force behind our successes. You’ve made this rollercoaster ride of a career incredibly fulfilling.”

Example 2:  Reflective and Inspirational

“Dear friends and colleagues, as I stand before you on this momentous day, I can’t help but reflect on the incredible journey we’ve shared. It has been an  extraordinary adventure from the early days of uncertainty to the triumphs we celebrated together. I am grateful for the lessons I’ve learned, the friendships I’ve formed, and the growth I’ve experienced. 

Remember, every challenge is an opportunity in disguise. Embrace change, take risks, and keep pushing the boundaries. Your potential knows no limits.”

Example 3:  Heartfelt and Appreciative

“Today, I am filled with immense gratitude and a bittersweet mix of emotions.  I want to express my deepest thanks to my colleagues, who have become my second family. The unwavering support, encouragement, and friendship we shared are truly priceless.  I am indebted to you for making this workplace feel like home.

Thank you to my mentors and superiors for believing in me and helping me realize my potential. Your guidance has shaped my career and instilled a desire for excellence.”

Example 4:  Wisdom and Advice

“As I bid farewell to this remarkable chapter, I would like to share a few nuggets of wisdom I’ve gathered along the way. First,  remember that success is not measured solely by professional accomplishments but by how you influence others. Be kind, compassionate, and empathetic in all your interactions.  

Don’t be afraid to take calculated risks and embrace new opportunities. It’s in these moments of uncertainty that we truly grow. Cherish the relationships you build along the way – they are the true treasures of a fulfilling career.”

Adam Howarth

Adam covers the topic of Public Speaking for Digital Authority. From his first experience of oratory with his school debating society to his more recent experiences of promoting the local business scene in Wrexham, Wales, he has always been involved in public speaking.

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Retirement speech ideas: 7 brainstorming prompts, 7 retirement speech ideas: brainstorming prompts.

When it’s time to bid adieu to a hard-earned career as a retiree, the words to go along with it can feel daunting to articulate. You may ask yourself, “How do I encapsulate years of dedication, ups-and-downs, achievements, and camaraderie into one farewell speech ?” Retirement speeches are not simply about signing off; they are a heartwarming opportunity to reflect on your journey, share your wisdom, and thank those who’ve been part of your professional life. This task can appear overwhelming, but it’s nothing you can’t handle, although a bit of guidance wouldn’t hurt!

“The art of communication is the language of leadership.” – James Humes

Embracing Humes’ words, delivering a compelling retirement speech is indeed about demonstrating your leadership one last time. It’s about sharing heartfelt stories, lessons learned over the years, and importantly, showing your gratitude with grace. So, how do you ensure your retirement speech leaves a memorable, lasting impression? Let’s provide you with some practical, easy-to-follow brainstorming prompts!

  • Reflect on your accomplishments
  • Highlight the shared journey and transformations
  • Don’t forget to inject humor
  • Share your wisdom and future aspirations

Are you ready to dive into these themes, and prepare an unforgettable retirement speech? Let’s help you articulate your goodbye in a way that is sure to tug at the heartstrings.

A retirement party is a perfect opportunity to reflect on a long and successful career, and thank all those who have contributed to it in some way. A retirement speech should be heartfelt and genuine, showcasing the retiree’s gratitude for their colleagues, friends, and family members who have supported them throughout their career. The speech can also include future retirement plans and goals. It is essential to keep the tone light-hearted and humorous while still expressing sincere appreciation for everyone involved. Finally, the retirement party is not only a farewell but also a celebration of the achievements made during one’s career.

Crafting a memorable retirement speech can seem like a daunting task, but with some creativity and preparation, it can be achieved. A memorable retirement speech should be respectful and honor the retiree’s achievements. It should include personal stories that illustrate their career journey, as well as their hobbies, interests, and future plans. Humor can also be included to lighten the mood, but it’s important to keep it tasteful. Quotes or sayings that inspire the retiree can add an extra touch of sentimentality to the speech. With these tips in mind, crafting a memorable retirement speech can be a heartfelt tribute to the retiree’s contributions.

Retirement celebration speeches are a great way to reflect on your career and thank those who have supported you along the way. It’s an opportunity to share your memories, accomplishments, and lessons learned with your colleagues, friends, and family. Some retirement celebration speech ideas include sharing funny anecdotes from your time at work, thanking specific individuals who have made an impact on your career, and offering advice for those continuing in their careers. Remember to keep it light-hearted and positive as you bid farewell to this chapter of your life.

Retirement Speech Idea 1: What lessons have you learned in your life? What stories of your life illustrate those lessons? How can you show gratitude?

Imagine now, you’re standing there, ready to address your audience. You can use this moment as an opportunity to reflect upon the life lessons that have shaped you. Consider those priceless teachings that you absorbed not in a classroom, but from life’s school. Maybe it was through trial and error, or perhaps you learned from observing others. Consider not only your personal life but also your extensive career — a mine of experiences. What were the pivotal situations that taught you something profound? Try to relate these teachings to impactful stories from your journey. Narrate tales of how perhaps a difficult customer ended up teaching you patience or a failed project led you to understand the importance of contingency planning. Your audience will not only enjoy these stories but also derive valuable life insights from them. Additionally, while rehearsing, time your talk to gauge if it is too long or short and make edits accordingly.

For example, “As I stand here today, reflecting on my journey towards retirement, I realize that the best part of it has been the people that I have had the pleasure of working with. My colleagues and mentors have been my support system throughout my career, and I owe my success to them. They have been my sounding board and my confidantes, always encouraging me to push my limits and achieve my goals. To all of you who have been a part of my journey, I want to say thank you for your unwavering support and encouragement. You have made my journey truly special.”

Retirement Speech Idea 2: Who along the way was instrumental in your character development? A teacher? A parent? A friend? A mentor? A coworker? A son or daughter?

While crafting your retirement speech, one aspect that could prove engaging is to recount the figures who played pivotal roles in your personal and professional growth. These individuals, be they a teacher, parent, friend, mentor, colleague, trusted person or even your children, added layers to your personality, motivated you, and imparted wisdom, thereby shaping the person you are today.

You may find yourself reflecting on an inspiring teacher who first ignited your passion for learning. Maybe it was a parent who lent unwavering support, instilling in you the courage to pursue your goals even in the face of adversity. You may echo the words of a mentor whose advice still rings clear in your mind, and consider how their guidance fortified your career. Sometimes, it could even be a friend or a colleague, those shoulder-to-shoulder comrades, who imparted lessons in resilience and collaboration.

Your children, too, or a son or daughter, might have taught you invaluable lessons about responsibility, patience, and unconditional love, which made you not only a great parent but a better person overall.

In your speech, think about sharing specific anecdotes or life-altering moments involving these vital individuals. Allow your gratitude for them to shine through your words. Not only does this introduce an element of storytelling (making your speech more engaging), but it also makes for a personal, heartfelt address that resonates deeply with the listener and serves as a helpful checklist for acknowledging all those who have played a role in your character development. And who knows—your reflections might inspire others just as these influential figures inspired you.

For example, “As I take this step towards retirement, I would like to express my sincere gratitude to all of you who have made my journey in this company so wonderful. Your support, encouragement, and camaraderie have been the driving forces behind my successes and accomplishments. It has been an honor to work alongside such talented and dedicated individuals, and I will always cherish the memories we have created together. Thank you for being a part of my life and making it worthwhile.”

Retirement Speech Idea 3: What advice would you have wanted at key moments in your life that you can now give to others as a retiree? For example, when you graduated high school, took your first job, married your first spouse, had your first child, or dealt with your first crisis, what do you wish you had known at those key moments?

Let’s reflect on life’s pivotal points. Those cardinal moments that shape us, like graduating high school, taking that daunting leap into our first job, uttering the words “I do” to our first spouse, observing the miracle of our firstborn, or bearing the weight of our first crisis. Picture yourself back in those moments with the wisdom you hold now. What advice would you have imparted to your younger self?

“We all make mistakes, learn to grow from them instead of dwelling on them.”

You could begin this part of your speech by listing down a few of these critical junctures in your life, then exploring each one individually, reflecting on the wisdom you gained, the lessons you learned, and the transformations that followed.

  • Did the exhilaration of high school graduation mask the challenge of adapting to college, an entirely new environment? What counsel would you now give?
  • When you took your first job, what misconceptions did you have about the work environment and how did they shape your early career?
  • As for marriage, what realities of this commitment did you come to understand only later, which you wish you knew before?
  • Bringing your first child into the world is undeniably one of life’s most profound experiences. Looking back, what insights about parenting did you gather which would have been priceless then?
  • When it comes to crisis management, what coping strategies and resilience builders did you eventually develop that you now know would have been beneficial during your first crisis?

Remember, the idea is not to dwell on the past, but to take from it, crafting a narrative of growth and resilience, and sharing advice which could inspire those listening your speech. So, what’s the advice you wish you would have heard at these key moments?

For example, “As I stand here today, on my last day at this organisation, I am filled with mixed emotions. It has been an honour and privilege to work alongside such talented and dedicated colleagues for the last 30 years. I would like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you for your support, guidance, and friendship over the years. This organisation has been my second home and leaving it feels bittersweet. However, I am also excited about the new chapter in my life that awaits me. Once again, thank you all for making my time here a truly unforgettable experience.”

Retirement Speech Idea 4: What and who are you grateful for? Why? Which moments or people in your life have changed you for the better?

Focusing on gratitude and positive transformation, pause for a moment and ponder over the big question: What and who are you grateful for? Is it a person, a specific moment in time, or perhaps a challenge that allowed you to grow? This question provides a canvas for you to paint your journey thus far, highlighting the crucial brushstrokes that have shaped your personality and worldview.

“Gratitude is a must.” – DJ Khaled

Remember, being thankful isn’t only about acknowledging the big life-changing moments or people. Consider the smaller moments of everyday magic – a word of encouragement from a coworker on a tough day, the simple taste of your morning coffee, or that calm walk in nature that allowed you a moment of peace. Why are these elements important? How have they impacted your life in different ways? Dig into that sentiment and build a deeper narrative.

It could also be a relationship that changed you. A family member who stood like a rock in turbulent times, or a mentor who guided you through the labyrinth of professional challenges. Perhaps it was a friend’s kind words that instilled confidence in you at times when self-doubt overshadowed your vision. Or possibly, it was your children who helped you see life through an entirely new, vibrant lens. Why do these persons mean so much, and how have these transformations positively influenced your journey?

Bringing these integral elements into your retirement speech will not only provide a vivid picture of your gratitude and the positive changes in your life but also connect you deeply with your audience, compelling them to engage in their own personal reflections.

Retirement is a milestone that marks the end of one chapter and the beginning of another. It’s a time to reflect on your accomplishments, growth, and positive experiences throughout your career. Whether you choose to deliver a humorous or serious speech, it’s important to focus on the positive aspects of this milestone. Highlight your successes and share your excitement for the new opportunities that lie ahead. Most importantly, express your gratitude towards your colleagues, friends, and family who have supported you throughout your journey.

Retirement Speech Idea 5: What do you plan to do with your free time now that you are not working or not as much? What do you hope to accomplish?

Look at it this way – retirement isn’t about winding down; it’s about beginning another exciting chapter in the story we call life. Now that you’re no longer tied to that demanding 9-to-5 schedule, what are you planning to do? You’ve now got a wealth of free time that you may not have experienced since your school days, thanks to your years of hard work. How will you mold this precious commodity into meaningful experiences and memorable moments?

“Retirement is not the end of the road. It is the beginning of the open highway.” – Unknown

Ever wanted to run a marathon but couldn’t find the time to train? Perhaps there is a skill or hobby you’ve been yearning to acquire but never quite had the time. The glistening prospect of learning a new language or mastering an instrument may have made your heart skip a beat. The endless hours spent laboring away are now free, ready to be dedicated to the pursuit of these heart-warming activities. To echo an old cliche, the world is your oyster. Why not seize the day?

For some people, retirement might be an opportunity to give back to society. Volunteering and mentoring are potential channels for your spare time and accumulated wisdom. Get involved in local charities or community organizations that are close to your heart and watch as your actions make a difference in the lives of others.

A good retirement speech should also express what you hope to achieve now that you’ve crossed over into this realm of freedom. Is there a dream you’ve held on to but delayed for another day? Well, that ‘another day’ has arrived. You may even find yourself setting goals and challenges, aiming to climb mountains both literal and figurative, not because you have obligations, but because you finally have the chance to fulfill your vision for retirement. Share your goals and aspirations in your retirement farewell speech to inspire others to do the same.

The end of your career is often marked with a retirement speech. It’s your chance to reflect on your journey and express your gratitude to those who have helped you along the way. To deliver a great speech, it’s important to hone your public speaking skills and be confident in your delivery. You can also share anecdotes of your career, lessons learned, and hopes for the future. Remember to thank your colleagues, mentors, and anyone else who has made an impact on your career. Your retirement speech should be a celebration of your accomplishments and a heartfelt goodbye to your professional life.

So, when you take to the stage for that speech, delve into this topic – your hopes, dreams, plans, and the adventures you’re excited to embark on. It’s time you shared the dawn of your new beginning with the audience, making it not a farewell, but a grand new hello to the world of possibilities and opportunities.

Retirement Speech Idea 6: Are there quotes from books, movies, songs, or famous people, that sum up the lessons you want to teach? Can you go beyond the overused cliché quotes and find the ones that resonate with you and your life?

Have you ever thought about how much wisdom is encapsulated in our cultural heritage? How many proverbs and aphorisms, quotes from books, movies, songs or simply words of wisdom from famous people, can elegantly sum up the lessons you’ve acquired over your years of toil and perseverance in your profession?

When crafting your retirement speech, it might be an enjoyable journey to delve into various forms of media, meticulously combing through the cherished nuggets of wisdom they have to offer. Maybe it’s a book that changed your whole perspective or a movie dialogue that sparked a new line of thought, or possibly a song lyric that touched your soul at a particular juncture in your life. The perfect quote could even be from a renowned figure, whose ideology or stance deeply resonates with you and echoes your life’s lessons.

“A quote at the right moment is like bread in a famine.” – Talmud

While seeking the ideal quote, strive to go beyond the overused and cliché ones that we hear so often. Choose ones that truly reverberate with your personal and professional journey, revealing a chapter of your life or a spark of your personality. In choosing such quotes, you not only share a slice of wisdom but also provide a glimpse into your personal journey, showcasing how these words of wisdom have impacted your life or shaped your worldview.

  • What’s a quote from a book that sparked a profound realization for you?
  • Is there a movie dialogue that perfectly encapsulates lessons you’ve learned from your profession?
  • Can a line from a song lyric convey a pivotal moment in your life?
  • Did a famous person ever say something that perfectly aligns with your professional journey or philosophy?

Consider these questions, and I bet you’ll have an inspiring quote (or several) that will provide a memorable edge to your retirement speech!

Retirement Speech Idea 7 : If you knew this was the last moment to say farewell to the most important people in your life, what would you say?

When mulling over our seventh retirement speech idea , you’re invited to consider a significant and somewhat profound question: If this were the last chance you had to address the most important people in your life, what vital message would you want to impart? It’s a thought that encourages heartfelt transparency, introspection, and a genuine desire to share something truly meaningful.

“In the end, people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

Take a moment to ponder over this quote. Reflect on the impression and legacy you want to leave behind. This could range from messages of appreciation to advice you wish to give, or even the playful sharing of valuable life secrets. To ease this process, we’ve compiled a list of suggestions to inspire your thought process:

  • Express your gratitude: Share how specific individuals have impacted your life positively.
  • Leave behind proverbial life wisdom: What significant life lessons have you learned that you believe are worth passing on?
  • Talk about love and friendships: Reflect on the significance of close relationships and their value in your life.
  • Discuss life’s fleeting nature: Use your experience to emphasize the importance of seizing every moment.
  • Impart hope and encouragement: This is your chance to inspire the next generation with optimism for the future and faith in their abilities.

Remember, this isn’t necessarily a goodbye, but a unique chance to share a piece of your heart, wisdom, and experience gained during your journey. Make this opportunity count and say the words that might just leave an indelible imprint on the lives of the individuals who mean the most to you.

As you sit to pen down your retirement speech, take these prompts as the path to heartwarming anecdotes and profound wisdom. Remember, it’s not just about bidding farewell, it’s about leaving a legacy that transcends time. Reflect on this unique life you’ve led, the people, events, and ideas that shaped you, and let the words flow. Go above and beyond the clichés as you dive into the depth of your experiences. Your journey is unique, so let your speech reflect that uniqueness. Break down your boundaries as you craft a narrative as inspiring and remarkable as your life. And in doing so, you’ll create a retirement speech that will echo with timeless transferable lessons, profound gratitude, and genuine appreciation for the most important people in your life, touching the hearts of everyone present. So, enjoy this reflective journey and send off, you’ve earned every bit of it.

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Amanda Green was born in a small town in the west of Scotland, where everyone knows everyone. I joined the Toastmasters 15 years ago, and I served in nearly every office in the club since then. I love helping others gain confidence and skills they can apply in every day life.

Like other types of speech, a retirement speech takes preparation. You can dedicate one to a friend or colleague or deliver a message as the retiree. But how do you write a retirement speech?

My guide will help you give sample speeches for a retirement party. Discover the steps you need to follow, mistakes to avoid, and some tips to improve. I even included an example to follow.

What Is a Retirement Speech?

examples of funny retirement speeches

A co-worker can give a retirement speech to a retiree or a retirement speech by a retiree.

Someone who has worked with the honoree for a long time can extend their congratulations for racing this unique milestone at the end of their career. They usually share interesting information while showing respect to the person who contributed significantly to the workplace.

A retirement speech can also be given by the person retiring. They may thank their fellow employees for the beautiful years and for helping them grow in the company.

These occasions are usually informal. That means you can deliver a casually funny retirement speech that’s the opposite of typical, formal speeches. But it is always helpful to plan what you will say in the speech so that everything flows smoothly.

What Makes a Good Retirement Speech?

A speech is a critical medium for presenting information and entertainment to a group of people. Here are some qualities of an excellent retirement speech.

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Focuses on the Honoree

Whether it’s a formal or informal retirement speech, it’s essential to focus on the honoree . Do not focus on yourself but on the accomplishments and values of the retiree.

A speech should be free from ambiguity so everyone can understand it easily. Make sure to break up run-on sentences and reduce wordiness. Using the active voice also improves the clarity of the speech.

Originality

It’s okay to insert famous quotes in your speech. But it’s also important to customize your message to the person you are honoring. Do not give a generic retirement speech you copied from Google or a speech builder.

Conciseness

A person who served in your organization deserves a long speech. But avoid repetitive, cliche , and filler words. Don’t bore your audience with a 30-minute speech.

Interesting

An attention-grabbing story in the introduction is a quick way to make your speech enjoyable. Other methods include using examples, inserting quotations, and citing jokes.

Use of Body Language

An outstanding speech is not only about verbal communication but also comes with necessary body language. Use non-verbal cues with your hands, mouth, and eyes.

How Long Should a Retirement Speech Last?

The length of the retirement speech depends on the time allotted for this part of the event. It usually lasts around 5-10 minutes and comprises 600-1000 words.

Some people do not need to read from their manuscripts at this length. They may prepare and practice using only their outline. But if you’re a beginner, you can bring an entire manuscript when delivering.

Retirement Speech Writing Steps

Follow these six steps to creating a retirement speech.

Step 1: Gather information

The first step to creating a retirement speech is to gather information about the person’s life from different people. Hopefully, you can get extraordinary stories from them and a core idea of what you will put in the speech.

Gathering information will be a breeze if the retiree has been a long-time employee. You’ll find out how multi-faceted the person is. To their fellow employees, the person might be friendly and good-humored. But to their supervisor, the retiree might be intelligent and strategic.

Try gathering as much information about their personality as possible. But remember the key details. Try asking the following questions:

  • How long has the retiree been in the industry?
  • How long has the retiree worked in the company?
  • What were their contributions to the field or company?
  • What were the awards they received in the course of their career?
  • What were their previous positions?

Step 2: Learn All the Special Qualities of the Person

Your retirement speech should not only highlight the person’s career. It must also involve legendary stories or perhaps funny stories from their personal life.

For example, what are their personal hobbies? If the retiree likes to golf, you might try a golf-related theme for the party. If the retiree is an English teacher, try inserting English puns in your speech.

Here are some questions you can ask during interviews with people to craft a fantastic retirement speech.

  • What are their nicknames?
  • What is the name of their current spouse and kids?
  • What would people say is the best trait of the retiree?
  • How has the person made an exceptional contribution to the workplace?
  • What lessons did the people learn from the retiree?

However, some people want to keep their private life private. You don’t have to snoop around when gathering information about the retiree.

Step 3: Write an Outline

The entire speech writing process and public speaking stage are much easier if you start with an outline.

You have to decide how the farewell speech will sound. Do you want a heartfelt speech, a humorous speech, or a mix of both? Once you have decided, it’s time to brainstorm what to include in each part.

  • Introduction – This part should include an attention-grabbing story. It’s an essential part of memorable retirement speeches.
  • Body 1 – Name one or two traits of the person. Are they great listeners? Do they always have the most brilliant ideas in meetings? Are they approachable to everyone?
  • Body 2 – Discuss the person’s entire career journey. This should be easy if you’ve worked with them for a long time or gathered enough information. Make it clear what the person has attained and the differences they made to the company.
  • Body 3 – Share personal lessons you’ve learned from the person. A short story can be used.
  • Thank the person – Wish the person well in their retirement. End the speech with a memorable punchline and a “Happy retirement!”

Step 4: Write Out the Speech (Optional)

Skip this step if you’re already a skilled public speaker. Some practiced orators can even deliver humorous speeches on the spot without stuttering.

But if it’s your first time delivering a retirement speech for a boss, it’s best to write it down. Start with retirement speech starter headlines. It can include interesting daft stories, milestones, or a philosophy.

But overly preparing a speech can make it sound less heartfelt. Make sure you’re writing an authentic speech that feels natural to deliver.

You also don’t want to use the word “I” very often. Otherwise, it will give the impression of a boastful speech.

Step 5: Get Feedback

Seek people’s help before delivering a grateful retirement speech in front of a large crowd. Try asking someone who knows the retiree well to listen to your speech. Ask them about their thoughts on the fun story you shared, and make sure to consider their alternative ideas.

It also helps to ask an editor to fix any spelling or grammar issues. They can help you keep the speech more concise and engaging.

Step 6: Record a Video of Your Speech Before You Give It

The last step before offering a tribute speech to a retiree is to record yourself. Check your appearance when you’re talking. Are you smiling or not? Was your brow creased? This step is essential if you don’t always talk in front of a large audience of people.

Retirement Speech Tips

examples of funny retirement speeches

Now that you know the correct procedure for speech-writing, here are some tips you can follow.

Choose a Speaker Who Knows the Person Well

If you were chosen as the speaker, then you must have enough knowledge about the person’s entire life. One advantage of knowing the person too well is that you instantly have various content ideas for your speech.

This person can be someone other than the head of the organization. It can be their work best friend, business partner, or family member.

Focus on the Honoree

Your priority is to think about how the person will feel. Do you want to focus on their success, positive attributes, or their future success? Brainstorm some characteristics or key points you want to include in the tribute speech.

You may evoke emotion in this speech by highlighting a sense of fondness. But don’t make it too dramatic, especially when your relationship was formed in the workplace.

Mentioning memorable moments improves bonds with the honoree. Let them know what you will miss most about them.

Keep It Short—But Not Too Short

An important person in the company deserves more than three minutes of tribute. But that doesn’t mean you must include every detail of their previous career. Keep it short and sweet at around five to ten minutes to not bore the audience.

Use a Simple Framework

Keep your outline organized and simple to clarify the main message. It should serve as a blueprint to track your entire speech.

You already know the five parts of a retirement speech. However, you can still make it simpler using these parts:

  • Greet the audience and thank them for coming to the party.
  • Express why everyone is gathered.
  • Talk about how this person made a difference in the company and industry.
  • Talk about how this person made a difference in your personal life.
  • Extend best wishes on the next chapter of their life.

Balance the Past and Future

Refrain from assuming that the best days of the retiree are over. They are likely to be excited about their retirement. So instead of making a eulogy-like speech, deliver one that covers both the past and future.

Carefully Use Humor

You’ve probably heard hundreds of speeches with funny punchlines. But you should always plan your humor around your audience. Avoid jokes that rely on profanity and controversial topics. No one also wants to hear you put the retiree down harshly.

As with any other type of speech or presentation, preparing is always worth it. Try talking with people who have worked closely with the retiree. Look for common themes, then start crafting.

I also don’t recommend spending too much time discussing the career highlight reel. The audience might already know the honoree’s professional development in minute detail. Focus on their impact, values, and the larger lesson they taught you.

Don’t Read Your Speech

It’s okay to bring an outline or manuscript as long as your eyes stay longer on the audience. Tell the speech from the heart, take deep breaths, and know exactly what you will tell next.

Stand Up Straight

Maintain a good posture as you walk across the stage and give the speech. It shows confidence in your discussion, making the audience more interested.

Avoid These Retirement Speech Pitfalls

Overlooking.

Are you talking too much about yourself? Is your anecdote losing focus on the retirement speech’s goal? Make sure your address aims to make the retiree feel appreciated. The conclusion or final part of the speech should be direct gratitude toward the individual.

Joking Too Much

Using humor in speeches can be challenging, especially if your audience is a bunch of serious people. Although sharing a boys’ night out story is tempting, others might not appreciate it. That said, do your research on the audience to avoid awkwardness.

Becoming Out of Touch

No, retirees don’t sit on their porches all day reminiscing about their previous job. Many people continue working or start their own businesses. The correct term for this is “active retirement.” So avoid retirement cliches in your speech that will make you sound tone-deaf.

Joking about old age may have been common in earlier retirement speeches in an attempt to make a funny speech. But today, it’s considered insensitive. Avoid offensive words toward the retiree and the audience.

What Are Some Good Retirement Quotes?

Consider these thirty-five examples if you need some retirement quotes for your speech.

Inspirational Quotes for Retirement

  • “Retirement is not the end of the road. It is the beginning of the open highway.”
  • “Half of our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” – Will Rogers
  • “For many, retirement is a time for personal growth, which becomes the path to greater freedom.” – Robert Delamontague
  • “Don’t act your age in retirement. Act like the inner young person you have always been.” – J. A. West
  • “Retirement, a time to enjoy all the things you never had time to do when you worked.” – Catherine Pulsifer
  • “Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials: much to live on and much to live for.” 
  • “Retire from your job, but never retire your mind.”
  • “Age is just a number, but retirement is one of the greatest gifts to mankind.”
  • “The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.” – Vince Lombardi
  • “Choose a job that you love and you won’t have to work another day.” – Confucius
  • ​”Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain
  • “There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”​ – Bill Waterson
  • “Retirement is a blank sheet of paper. It is a chance to redesign your life into something new and different.” – Patrick Foley

Funny Retirement Quotes

  • “He who laughs at the boss’ jokes probably isn’t far from retirement.”
  • “Congrats on being so tired that you had to retire.”
  • “The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.”
  • “There really are two lives we live. The first life and then the second life when we realize we only have one life.”
  • “The best part about being retired is never having to request time off.”
  • “My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii.” – Julius Sharpe
  • “I’m always announcing my retirement. I’m still not retired.” – Dick Van Dyke
  • “How do you know it’s time to retire? It’s when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it!”
  • “During your work life, you pick up a lot of bad habits… like working.”
  • “The world’s longest coffee break is often referred to as retirement.”
  • “Now Fridays aren’t the best day of the week anymore… they all are!”
  • “I never reveal my age, but I do let people know I’m retired. They can just guess my age from that statement.”

Retirement Wishes

  • “Wishing you the best retirement ever! Enjoy the new chapter of your life and enjoy being your own boss.”
  • “It is not easy to say goodbye. But, I will hold on to the fond memories of working with you. I hope that this retirement brings you joy and peace.”
  • “Enjoy your new weekends which will last 7 days!”
  • “We wish you the best retirement possible.”
  • “You have been a great boss. I appreciate the effort you put into mentoring me.”
  • “You have reached an incredible level of freedom.”
  • “I can’t believe I will be working as you nap. Enjoy your retirement!”
  • “Cheers to a lifetime of weekends!”
  • “Goodbye to the coats and ties.”
  • “May your dreams come true as you begin your retirement.”

Retirement Speech Sample

Here’s an example of a short but heartfelt retirement speech you can give to someone you want to pay your respects to.

I have witnessed many friends come and go to this school. But today, we have gathered to show our love and respect for Hartford Elementary School’s English teacher, Bradley McAdams. After working with him for more than 30 years, I don’t think I have the right words to say about his inspiring impact, dedication, and character.

Bradley, or, as many people call him, “Mr. Brad,” has handled over 1,000 students. That includes 10,000 essays checked, 80 English lessons taught, and 60 literary works recommended.

But beyond the schoolwork checked, Bradley has made meaningful relationships with his students over the past few years. He became a good friend to individuals who need comfort and a family to children who want to feel a sense of belonging.

We are also proud of him for publishing his dissertation in 2018 and obtaining a doctorate in 2019.

Mr. Brad, you are one of the most inspiring educators in the teaching profession. You made a lasting impression on the world through your grit. You deserve a break! We hope you get enough rest, travels, and pampering in this new stage of your life. Congratulations on your retirement!

Craft a Well-Written Speech

Hopefully, my guide helped you learn how to write a retirement speech. Whether it’s for a friend or boss, that person deserves appreciation and support on their special milestone.

Another popular category for these speeches is when it comes to friends, family, service professionals, or a college commencement speech. Learn how to create an inspiring speech for different people!

How to Write a Farewell Speech – Tips & Samples

Father of the Groom Speech – Best Tips, Ideas & Samples

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Written Samples

7 retirement speech samples (from the retiree).

Retirement marks a significant milestone in an individual’s life, representing decades of work, achievement, and transformation. It’s a time of reflection, celebration, and sometimes bittersweet farewells.

A well-crafted retirement speech serves not only as a personal testament to one’s career but also as a source of inspiration and guidance for colleagues, friends, and family.

Sample Retirement Speeches (from the Retiree)

The speeches outlined in this article are tailored to encapsulate various careers, personalities, and sentiments, each offering a unique perspective on the transition from a professional life to retirement. They are detailed, and imbued with a mix of emotions and anecdotes, making each one a memorable ode to the retiree’s journey.

Speech 1: The Public Servant’s Lasting Commitment

As I stand before you, I can’t help but reflect on the journey that has brought me to this moment. My career in public service was more than a job; it was a calling that I answered wholeheartedly, driven by a desire to make a tangible difference in the lives of others. I remember the day I took my oath of office, feeling a profound sense of duty and anticipation for the work that lay ahead.

Over the years, I’ve served in various capacities, each with its unique challenges and rewards. I’ve been a steward of public trust, a policymaker, and an advocate for the voiceless. I’ve witnessed the power of community, the resilience of the human spirit, and the impact of collective action. My journey has taken me from local town halls to national forums, always with the aim of serving the greater good.

The life of a public servant is often unsung, with long hours, difficult decisions, and constant scrutiny. Yet, it is also a life filled with immense satisfaction and purpose. I’ve seen policies enacted that have improved lives, initiatives that have sparked change, and moments of unity that have overcome division. These are the milestones that have marked my career and the memories that I will cherish as I move forward.

As I retire, I do so with a heart full of gratitude. Gratitude for the opportunities I’ve had to serve, for the colleagues who have journeyed alongside me, and for the community that has entrusted me with their hopes and concerns. To those who will continue in public service, I leave you with this charge: serve with integrity, lead with compassion, and never lose sight of the people you are sworn to serve.

Retirement for me does not mean the end of my commitment to public service. It merely marks a transition to a new role. I look forward to supporting causes close to my heart, volunteering in my community, and perhaps, enjoying a little more quiet time with family and friends. The path of service is never truly complete; it simply evolves.

As I close this chapter, I am overwhelmed with a sense of fulfillment and anticipation for the future. My years of service have been an honor and a privilege, and I step down with the knowledge that the work we do matters, that each of us can make a difference, and that the journey of service is one of the most rewarding paths one can take. Thank you for the opportunity to serve, for the memories, and for the journey that lies ahead.

Speech 2: The Healthcare Hero’s New Chapter

Today, as I stand before you, I am reminded of the very first day I stepped into the hospital as a young, eager healthcare professional. It was a day filled with nervous excitement and a profound commitment to the journey ahead. My career in healthcare has been nothing short of a calling—a relentless pursuit to heal, comfort, and improve lives.

Throughout the years, I’ve witnessed the spectrum of human resilience and vulnerability. I’ve held the hands of those fighting for their next breath and shared the joy of those overcoming illness. Each patient’s story has left an indelible mark on my heart, reminding me of the profound impact healthcare workers have on individual lives and the community at large.

My path has been filled with continuous learning, adapting to new medical advancements, and always striving to provide the best care possible. The long hours and emotional toll were balanced by the camaraderie among colleagues and the unwavering spirit of our patients. I’ve seen the healthcare landscape evolve, driven by innovation and a collective commitment to bettering public health.

As I retire, I carry with me a treasure trove of memories and experiences. I leave behind a legacy of care and hope that the next generation of healthcare professionals continues to carry the torch with the same passion and dedication. The journey does not end here for me; it merely shifts. I look forward to volunteering, perhaps mentoring the next generation, and taking some well-deserved time to nurture my well-being.

To those who continue in the field of healthcare, remember the profound impact you have. Your hands heal, your words comfort, and your presence brings hope. Continue to advocate for your patients, for each other, and for the health of our communities. The world needs you more than ever.

Thank you for the honor of serving alongside you, for the lessons learned, and for the countless lives we’ve touched together. As I step into this new chapter, I do so with a heart full of gratitude and eyes looking forward to the horizon of possibilities that retirement brings.

Speech 3: The Journey of a Lifelong Educator

As I stand here today, I am filled with a multitude of emotions. After 35 years of waking up at dawn, preparing lessons, grading papers, and most importantly, nurturing young minds, the halls of education will surely miss my footsteps. My career began as a bright-eyed teacher in a small town, armed with nothing but a passion for literature and a desire to make a difference. Over the years, I witnessed thousands of students cross the threshold of my classroom, each leaving a mark on my heart.

I remember the countless school plays, the science fairs, and the joy of seeing a struggling student finally grasp a difficult concept. These moments were not just the milestones of my career but the building blocks of the community we created together. However, this journey was not without its challenges. Budget cuts, policy changes, and the ever-evolving landscape of education meant constant adaptation. Yet, these hurdles only strengthened my resolve to provide the best education possible.

As I retire, I carry with me not just memories but lessons learned and friendships forged. To my colleagues, I leave behind a legacy of dedication and hope you continue to inspire as I have been inspired. To the students, past and present, remember that education is a lifelong journey, and you are its navigators. I look forward to the next chapter, knowing that the impact we’ve made together is indelible.

Speech 4: A Financier’s Farewell

Today marks not an end but a culmination of a three-decade-long adventure in the world of finance. From the bustling floors of the stock exchange to the intense boardroom negotiations, my career has been nothing short of a thrilling ride. I started as a junior analyst, fueled by ambition and an insatiable curiosity about the markets. Each fiscal year brought new challenges and opportunities, from navigating economic downturns to celebrating record-breaking profits.

My journey was underscored by the relationships I built. To my clients, I was not just a financial advisor but a trusted partner in their aspirations. We celebrated successes and weathered storms together, always looking forward to the next opportunity. To my team, your dedication and ingenuity have been the driving force behind our success. Your resilience and commitment have not only shaped our company’s legacy but also defined my career.

As I step into retirement, I am excited for the future. The world of finance is ever-changing, and I have full confidence that the next generation will continue to innovate and lead with integrity. I look forward to watching from the sidelines, perhaps over morning coffee rather than market reports. Thank you for an incredible journey.

Speech 5: The Architect’s Blueprint for the Future

After years of drawing lines and envisioning spaces, the time has come for me to put down my pencil and step back from the drafting table. Architecture has been more than a career; it has been a passion that shaped my worldview and allowed me to leave a tangible mark on the world. From the first sketch to the final brick, each project was a story, a challenge, and an achievement.

My career took me to different cities and countries, each project reflecting the culture and community it was built for. I have had the honor of designing homes, institutions, and public spaces, each with its own story and significance. The late nights, the client meetings, and even the occasional setbacks were all part of a fulfilling narrative.

To the young architects just beginning their journey, I leave you with this advice: never stop dreaming and drawing. Architecture is not just about buildings; it’s about the lives that unfold within them. As I step into retirement, I look forward to seeing the skyline continue to change, knowing that I had a hand in shaping it.

Speech 6: The Scientist’s Last Experiment

As I hang up my lab coat for the last time, I am struck by a sense of accomplishment and anticipation. My career as a scientist has been driven by an insatiable curiosity and a relentless pursuit of knowledge. The laboratory has been my home, where hypotheses were tested, discoveries made, and sometimes, the impossible made possible.

From my early days as a doctoral candidate to leading groundbreaking research, the thrill of discovery never waned. I’ve seen the power of science to change lives, from developing new treatments to understanding the mysteries of the universe. My journey was not a solitary one; it was filled with collaboration, debate, and the shared joy of discovery.

To the next generation of scientists, keep questioning, exploring, and pushing the boundaries of what we know. The world is full of mysteries waiting to be solved, and now it’s your turn to lead the charge. As for me, retirement doesn’t mean the end of discovery; it’s simply a new chapter with unbounded possibilities.

Speech 7: The Entrepreneur’s Next Venture

Standing here today, I am reminded of the day I started my first business. It was more than just a venture; it was a leap of faith into a world of unknowns. Entrepreneurship is not just a career; it’s a lifestyle characterized by risk, innovation, and perseverance. I’ve had the pleasure of starting businesses, seeing them grow, and sometimes, letting them go.

Each business was a chapter in a larger story, filled with its own set of characters, challenges, and triumphs. I’ve learned that success is not just about profit but about impact and legacy. It’s about the jobs created, the communities supported, and the innovations that push society forward.

As I step into retirement, I do so with the knowledge that the entrepreneurial spirit never retires. I look forward to mentoring the next generation, investing in new ideas, and perhaps even starting a new venture or two. The future is bright, and I can’t wait to see what it holds.

Each speech reflects the essence of a career filled with dedication, challenges, and achievements. They serve as a farewell but also as a beacon for those who continue the journey. Retirement is not an end but a transition, an opportunity to reflect, celebrate, and look forward to new beginnings.

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Sample retirement speech honoring a co-worker

Need a sample retirement speech to help you organize your thoughts when it's your turn to honor a retiring co-worker? 

The sample retirement speech below has notes to give you a structure you can use for your retirement tribute.  But first, some guidelines about what to say and what to avoid.

Retirement speeches and toasts can be funny or touching. They are often the highlight of a retirement party given to recognize the retiree’s work or the person's role in the organization. 

If you are the main speaker, your tribute should include humor.   How did the retiree interact with coworkers, the bosses, or those in subordinate positions?  Such personal associations are often a source for good-natured fun.

But you'll also want to include comments about the person's character, leadership style or contributions.


A mix of light-hearted anecdotes and thoughtful observations is always a fitting tone for this capstone event. 

retirement-speech-help-small

If you are the main speaker, your tribute should include humor.   How did the retiree interact with coworkers, the bosses, or those in subordinate positions?  Such personal associations are often a source for good-natured fun. But you'll also want to include comments about the person's character, leadership style or contributions. A mix of light-hearted anecdotes and thoughtful observations is always a fitting tone for this capstone event. 

The main retirement speech

If you are honoring the retiree, you'll want your speech to be entertaining and touching. Open your speech with something that will grab the attention of the audience.  A quote, statistic or funny story about the honoree works well. And since retirement parties are walks down memory lane, most of your speech should include recollections of what the individual has meant to the workplace.

Aim for a 5 minute talk.  That's  long enough to do justice to the retiree and short enough to keep your audience from secretly reaching for their phones.  The body of your talk should be a blend of stories and observations that paint a picture of the retiree and the role he or she has filled with the organization.

Put some thought into your conclusion.  It may be funny or serious but be sure to mention how much the person has contributed or will be missed. If you’re a pro, you’ll end your talk with a conclusion that ties back to your opening remarks or an earlier story. Hard to do but that is always a winning formula.

For help with polishing your retirement speech, check out these tips from Toastmasters International. 

(If you are retiring and will be making a speech, See When you are the retiree for a suggested speech outline.)

And in case your sensitivity monitor does not always work, remember that over-the-hill remarks or nursing home jokes that were hilarious at a 50th birthday party are not  so amusing now. Most retirement parties include members of the family and some will probably be elderly. A safe option is to focus on the workplace and relationships there.  Highlight some funny things that happened to the person while at work or earlier in his or her life.

drawing of business man waving goodbye to illustrate a retiring co-worker

If the person is healthy, active and looking forward to leaving work, it’s appropriate for the retirement speech to include some light remarks about a laid-back future enjoying hobbies. But if you’re not sure of the person’s situation, focus on their role with the company.

If the retiree is leaving the military, include some stories or sayings about military service that apply to the retiree and the branch of service.

There are a variety of retirement sayings or quotes you can use but be careful. In all cases, avoid those dire predictions about a toothless, drooling, declining future that, while intended to be funny, may embarrass others or make them uncomfortable.

Sample retirement speech honoring a colleague

The following sample honors Joe Smith who is retiring from Always There  Insurance in Wilkesboro after working there for 15 years. You can adapt this formula and the tips for retirement wishes listed in the left-hand column to fit your honored guest. If you're stuck for ideas, incorporate some of the retirement sayings on this website. 

If you are the main speaker, keep your remarks to around 5-7 minutes.  (The average attention span of an audience is about 7 minutes.)  If there are several speakers (besides the retiree), aim for no more than 4 minutes.






Statistics tells us that 10,000 Baby Boomers reach retirement age every day.  And one of those retiring today is Joe Smith.

We're sorry to say goodbye to Joe.  But, every ending has a bright side when it also marks a new beginning.

We're here to say a few words about his life at Always There and wish Joe well as he goes to that place in life we all look forward to . . . retirement. 

Thank you, friends and coworkers,  for joining us . . . .   Joe, you didn't know, did you, that so many people would be celebrating your departure!

Before we get started, I'd like to take just a minute to introduce some special guests.  . . .






Seriously, Joe, … you've been an anchor in our marketing department for the past 15 years. He was one of the first ones in every day and would watch we Gen X’ers and  Millenials come dragging in an hour after he’d finished his second cup of coffee. And he’d always have something cheerful to say before 8 a.m. Sometimes it was irritatingly cheerful for those of us who are night owls.

He’s definitely not like those people who come in late but make up for it by leaving early.

Joe was always here, greeting us with a wide grin. I asked him once why he was always so happy and Joe simply said, “You might as well smile because you’re here anyway and there’s no point in bringing anybody else down by complaining.”

That comment says a lot about who Joe Smith is. His glass is always half full. And on those occasions when our marketing team's creativity had run wild and out of bounds, Joe knew how to gently guide us back in the fold while complimenting their ingenuity.

One of the things people like most about Joe... besides his ability to smile all the time . . .  is the fact that he can laugh at himself.  And Joe has provided the rest of us with some laughs along the way.

Remember that time when his team developed the campaign with the talking locks? That campaign had a memorable slogan:  Joe’s bright idea to the idea was to show everybody how we were the one insurance company with the talking locks that could make every house safe.

His pitch  – – was a great success until it was abruptly ended. As you recall, that was the time the Wilkes police launched a raid on a prostitution ring that covered five states and was headquartered in a safe house in nearby Winston.

Suddenly Joe’s idea of pitching Always There as the backer of the safe house didn’t fit the image the executive suite wanted.

I think cracks about  Joe's  safe house went on for months. . . . And he laughed every time he heard it.    Thanks, Joe, for being such a good sport.




Looking back over Joe’s career here, we all have stories about him. Others will share some of those shortly.

To Joe, I want to say how much we admire your dedication to your colleagues and this company. When Joe started working here, Always There was a small agency with just 6 employees but with a vision of customer service that would transform us into in this market. And Joe... you have been in our growth and prosperity.



It’s the people like Joe, who come into work with a smile, make our clients happy and understand that we always have to keep  improving our service  . . . those people like Joe are the ones who have made Always There Insurance the success it is today.

It’s impossible to measure what Joe has meant to this company all these years. And I know I speak for everyone when I say this is a bittersweet moment . . . saying goodbye to a friend and coworker who has meant so much. But we are all happy that Joe and Laura will have time to kick back, get off this treadmill and do what they want.






We’re now at the point in a retirement party when someone presents the retiree with a watch. But we don't have one and that's okay because Joe will no longer need a watch.

What we do have are some more memories we’d like to share.

It is obvious that you will be missed. We wish you and Laura all the best and like knowing that your smile will be even broader now that you don’t have to take that commute in every morning.

And we know that if the Wilkes police ever break up another safe house, they can call you because you’ll know just what to say.




Joe and Laura, would you please stand so we can say thanks.

dog in business suit with caption My Work Here is Done.

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Retirement sayings - retirement wishes.

These retirement sayings - retirement wishes will help you write a retirement toast or speech.

Military retirement toasts

Are you participating in a military retirement ceremony or celebration? If so, this collection of military retirement toasts will help you says something heartfelt and punchy.

Retirement party planning

Need some help with retirement party planning? Here are some tips to help you organize a fun gathering whether the party involves a dozen people or a hundred. The basic elements of planning a successful retirement party are the same.

If an educator you admire is departing, here are some teacher retirement toasts to help you express your appreciation.

  Retirement celebrations   Honoring a retiring co-worker      Quotes about retirement    Your retirement speech      Make them glad they came   Military retirement toasts       Teacher retirement toasts       Retiring teacher tribute       Boomer retirement party    Quotes about teaching            P lanning the party        Retirement roasts and song s   Retirement songs and poems

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Funny Retirement Quotes - Lifting The Mood Of A Farewell Speech

Funny retirement quotes - a great starting point for structuring retirement speeches.

funny-retirement-quotes

Weave a humorous retirement quote into your introduction. Your audience will relax and have a chuckle. You'll relax and be well on your way to presenting an amazing retirement speech.

Less can be more - choose one or two great quotes that really appeal to you and intersperse them throughout your speech.

Laughter is very often the best medicine - especially on an occasion when you may all be feeling a bit overwhelmed and emotional. Great funny speeches really captivate and keep your audiences' attention.

So, go on, have the last laugh and word!

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous

When I was sixty-five - I still had pimples.

George Burns

Retirement life: seen it all, done it all -

Can't remember most of it!

A retired husband is often a wife's full time job.

Ella Harris

Before deciding to retire early...

Stay home a week and practice watching daytime television.

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache...

Unless you play golf!

Gene Perret

I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work -

So I do it three or four times a day!

The best time to start thinking about your retirement -

Is before your boss does!

The money is no better in retirement...

But the hours are!

Heaven - that's my retirement plan!

I always arrive late at the office...

But I make up for it by leaving early.

Charles Lamb

When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house...

You know you're retired!

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty seventh birthday?

I tell them...a paternity suit!

The down side of retirement...

Is having to drink coffee on your own time .

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces...

And wonder what else you could do while you're down there!

Retirement must be wonderful.

I mean, you can suck in your stomach for only so long .

Burt Reynolds

In retirement only money and symptoms are consequential.

Mason Cooley

There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working.

Robert Half

The secret of longevity...

Is to keep breathing!

Sophie Tucker

At my age flowers scare me!

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it -

At my age...I'm very pleased to be anywhere!

Funny retirement quotes - a must for any speech!

Here's wishing you wonderful years of retirement filled with laughter, health, loved ones and cherished memories still to be created!

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28 Powerful Tips For Your Retirement Speech

how to craft, practice, and deliver the best retirement speech

Are you retiring and want to deliver a heartfelt and memorable speech? Or perhaps you’ve been tasked with honoring a retiree with a tribute. Look no further! This list has lots of valuable tips that can help you craft and deliver a retirement speech.

Whether you’re the retiree taking center stage or someone celebrating their achievements, this resource provides a roadmap for success. Keep in mind that some tips may require slight adjustments depending on your role (retiree vs. honoring someone). Let’s get started!

Tips For Crafting Your Retirement Speech

Before delivering your retirement speech, it’s crucial to craft a compelling message. While you have the freedom to personalize it—after all, it’s your moment to shine—consider incorporating some structure and relevant content to ensure it becomes a truly memorable speech.

Here are some tips to guide you in crafting the best retirement speech everyone will enjoy:

1. Know Your Audience

Think about the setting and tailor your speech accordingly. Make sure the tone and content are appropriate for the environment. Know your audience and use references they can relate to, adjusting your focus based on who you’re addressing.

2. Capture The Attention At The Start

You have about 10 seconds to grab your audience’s attention. Start with something interesting—like a joke, a question, or a prop. Avoid starting with a dull introduction about yourself. Instead, begin with something intriguing or valuable for the audience. While capturing attention is important, remember that strong content and delivery are key.

3. Proceed With Warm Appreciation

Once you capture the audience’s attention, express sincere gratitude to your employer, colleagues, and team members for their support and guidance throughout your career. Extend heartfelt thanks to your family and friends for their unwavering support as well.

4. Share Your Career Journey Through Compelling Stories

Reflect on your career journey by weaving in personal anecdotes that showcase key achievements, challenges overcome, and valuable lessons learned. Share memorable moments that illustrate your growth and development.

Don’t forget to express gratitude for the collaborative efforts and knowledge gained throughout your time with the company. Remember to focus on positive stories that evoke laughter or warm feelings, and keep the number manageable—one or two will do. 

This approach not only makes your speech relatable but also creates a lasting impression on the audience.

5. Use Humor Wisely

A good joke or funny story can lighten the mood and make your speech more enjoyable. However, make sure your humor is appropriate and respectful. Avoid jokes that might offend anyone and stick to light-hearted, respectful humor.

6. Speak From The Heart

Let your genuine emotions shine through to make your speech authentic and engaging. Show your appreciation and admiration for everyone celebrating with you and express yourself properly and appropriately in response to their heartfelt congratulations and well-wishes.

7. Conclude With Gratitude And Look Forward

As you near the end of your speech, shift the tone to a positive and appreciative note. Express your sincere thanks once again to everyone for celebrating your retirement with you.

Then, briefly share your exciting future plans, while also acknowledging the journey and expressing well wishes for your colleagues and the organization’s continued success.

Tips For Practicing Your Retirement Speech

Practice your speech regularly, ideally in front of a mirror or a trusted friend. Recording yourself can help identify areas for improvement. Reflect on your performance to become a more confident speaker.

Aside from that, here are some key tips to keep in mind while practicing:

1. Time Yourself

Practice delivering the speech and time yourself. This ensures you stay within your allotted time and avoid going over.

2. Edit For Brevity

As you practice and time yourself, edit your speech to make it fit between five to seven minutes. Focus on key points and avoid going off-topic. It’s better to leave the audience wanting more than to lose their attention.

3. Have An Organized Note

During your practice and editing process, keep a copy of your speech outline and key points handy in a well-organized note format. Prioritize simplicity—avoid cluttering your notes with excessive details, as this can lead to dependence on reading, hindering your connection with the audience. Instead, utilize brief points as a guide throughout your speech delivery.

4. Vary Your Tone And Pace

Vary your tone and pace to keep the audience engaged. Use different intonations to emphasize important points, and change your pace to avoid monotony.

Also, use pauses. They can give the audience time to absorb your words and to emphasize key points. Pauses can also build anticipation and create drama.

5. Be Authentic

Speak naturally and don’t try to imitate someone else’s style. Authenticity will make your speech more relatable and engaging.

6. Speak Clearly And Confidently

Practice enunciating your words clearly and projecting your voice so everyone can hear you. Speak with confidence and avoid talking too quickly or softly.

Also, practice enough times to prevent yourself from rambling during the actual speech. A clear, focused speech is easier for the audience to follow.

7. Integrate Powerful Body Language

Learn and use gestures, facial expressions, and a confident posture to emphasize your points. Doing so can let you move naturally to keep the audience engaged. Your body language should reinforce your speech, not distract from it.

Get used to these movements to avoid fidgeting with your hands or feet. Also, make sure to not pace aimlessly. These distractions can take away from your message. Maintain a confident posture and use body language to support your speech.

Tips For Delivering Your Retirement Speech

Your speech is crafted and polished, and you’ve rehearsed religiously—now it’s time to deliver it with confidence! Here are some valuable tips to ensure your retirement speech shines:

1. Dress Appropriately

Dress professionally for the occasion. This helps establish credibility and shows respect for the audience. Aim for attire consistent with your company culture or the formality of the event.

2. Maintain Eye Contact

Make eye contact with the audience throughout the speech. This helps establish a connection and makes your speech more engaging.

However, avoid staring intently at one person or fixating on the ceiling. Use a natural rhythm, connecting with different audience members throughout your talk. A helpful technique is the one thought, one look rule: after making a point, shift your gaze to another person in the audience.

3. Be Confident

Expect minor stumbles or memory lapses—they happen to everyone! The audience wants you to succeed, so don’t be afraid of making mistakes or apologizing for them. Most likely, no one will notice slight errors. Project confidence and enjoy this momentous occasion.

4. Focus On Your Key Points

Instead of memorizing your speech word-for-word, focus on memorizing key points and the overall structure. This allows for a more natural and engaging delivery. Visualization techniques or having your notes in your hand can help you stay on track.

5. Manage Your Emotions

Delivering a retirement speech can be a whirlwind of emotions. Anticipate feeling sentimental as you see the faces celebrating your milestone.

While it’s natural to want to hold back tears, consider allowing your emotions to flow more freely towards the end of your speech. Genuine feelings of gratitude, humor, or excitement will resonate with the audience and create a deeper connection.

6. Embrace Silence

Don’t be afraid of silence during your speech! Pauses can be powerful tools. If you stumble momentarily or forget a point, embrace the silence.

A comfortable pause allows the audience to reflect on your words, builds anticipation for impactful statements, and demonstrates confidence. Smile and make eye contact with different audience members as you collect your thoughts.

7. Expect The Unexpected

The best-laid plans can sometimes shift. A joke might not land perfectly, your story might not resonate with everyone, or a point might not be fully understood. That’s okay! 

Even seasoned comedians face moments where their material doesn’t hit the mark. Don’t dwell on these minor setbacks. Instead, focus on delivering your speech with confidence and grace. Take a deep breath, acknowledge the moment with a smile, and move on to the next point.

Optional Tips For Your Retirement Speech

Crafting a memorable retirement speech is like creating a delicious dish—you want the right blend of elements to leave a lasting impression. However, just like spices, not all tips will perfectly complement every speech.

Consider these options as a guide, adapting them to suit your individual style and the specific setting:

1. Consider Using Visual Aids

Consider incorporating visual aids like photos, videos, or slides to enhance your speech. These can showcase your accomplishments, personality, or contributions to the organization.

Remember, visuals should be relevant, tasteful, and respectful. This option depends on the setting and your personal preference.

2. Include A Memorable Quote

A powerful quote strategically placed can elevate your speech and leave a lasting impression on the audience. It can help them connect with the emotions you’re conveying. However, a strong speech doesn’t necessarily require a quote.

3. Give Some Advice

Offer valuable insights and lessons learned throughout your career. This thoughtful gesture can inspire and guide others in the organization. Sharing advice is not mandatory for every speech, but it can be a meaningful addition.

4. Be Prepared For Questions

In an informal setting, be ready for audience questions. Anticipate potential questions and prepare your answers. This is only relevant if the setting allows for audience interaction.

5. End Your Speech with Impact

Ending your speech by revisiting a prop—like a mic drop—or metaphor you used at the beginning can create a strong finish. This full-circle approach can be very effective. However, note that this informal style may not suit all audiences or speech types.

6. Interact With Your Audience

Engaging your audience within the first minute can make your speech memorable. Ask a question, request a show of hands, or use humor to get them involved. Interaction depends on the formality of the event but can be very effective in capturing attention.

7. Acknowledge Challenges

Sharing a significant challenge you faced and overcame can demonstrate resilience and growth. It can also add conflict and intrigue to your story, engaging the audience. 

However, be mindful of speech length. If including this anecdote extends your speech beyond its ideal timeframe, edit it out later.

Frequently Asked Questions

To further help you out, I also compiled a list of frequently asked questions regarding crafting, practicing, and delivering a retirement speech. Here they are:

How do I start writing my retirement speech?

Begin by brainstorming key points you want to cover, such as your career highlights, lessons learned, and people to thank. Create an outline to organize these ideas. Start drafting by writing a heartfelt introduction to set the tone.

What should I avoid in my speech?

Avoid negative comments, embarrassing stories, or inappropriate humor. Stay positive and respectful. Focus on gratitude and celebration rather than grievances or regrets.

How do I handle nerves before giving my speech?

Practice deep breathing exercises and visualize a successful delivery. Rehearse your speech multiple times to build confidence. Remind yourself that the audience is supportive and there to celebrate with you.

What if I forget a part of my speech while delivering it?

If you forget a part, pause, take a breath, and glance at your notes if needed. It’s okay to skip a forgotten part and continue. The audience likely won’t notice, and your calmness will maintain the flow.

How can I ensure my speech flows well?

Use transitions between key points to create a smooth flow. Practice your speech to identify any awkward parts and refine them. Ensure your speech has a clear beginning, middle, and end.

How do I handle unexpected interruptions or distractions?

Stay calm and composed. Pause if necessary, and address the interruption briefly before returning to your speech. Handling interruptions gracefully shows your confidence and poise.

Should I acknowledge specific people by name?

Yes, acknowledging specific individuals who significantly impacted your career can add a personal touch. Ensure you mention key supporters, mentors, and close colleagues. Be mindful not to overlook anyone important.

Should I practice my speech in the actual venue?

If possible, practice your speech in the venue where you’ll be delivering it. Familiarizing yourself with the space can help reduce anxiety and improve your comfort level. It also allows you to adjust your volume and gestures to fit the setting.

What should I do if I receive unexpected applause or laughter?

Pause and acknowledge the audience’s response with a smile or a brief comment. Allow the applause or laughter to die down before continuing. Embrace these moments as positive feedback and a sign that your speech is resonating with the audience.

How can I use props effectively in my speech?

Choose props that are relevant and enhance your message. Introduce them clearly and integrate them smoothly into your speech. Avoid overusing props or allowing them to distract from your main points.

So, whether you’re the one stepping into a well-deserved retirement or tasked with celebrating a cherished colleague’s journey, this guide has equipped you with valuable tips to craft and deliver a heartfelt and memorable speech. Remember, these are just suggestions—feel free to adapt them to best suit your unique story and the occasion.

And if you’re on the hunt for more retirement-related information, you’re in the right place. Consider checking out my other posts, and here are some of the recent ones that I published:

  • 50 Ideas For An Amazing Retirement Slideshow
  • Top 30 Activities To Stay Active And Engaged In Retirement
  • 100 Retirement Wishes, Messages, And Quotes For Your Father
  • What To Write In A Military Retirement Card: Unique Messages And Wishes
  • 21 Seriously Funny Ways To Announce Your Retirement

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My wife and I quit the rat race and retired in 2021. We RV'ed around the US for a couple of years and now we're slow traveling outside the US!

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Retirement speech sample

Refusing to rest honorably - a teacher's farewell address

By:  Susan Dugdale  

The retirement speech sample below was written to show you the end result of using the step-by-step guidelines I put together on 'how to write a retirement speech' and, to find out just how long it took to follow my own advice!

* You can find the answer to that $64 thousand dollar question at the foot of the page.

Although my farewell address is fictional, it is based on experience. In a former life, before I began write-out-loud.com, I was a high school teacher for many years.

The background and setting for this speech 

To give you a deeper understanding, here's the context and a little about a speaker.

The setting is a school assembly hall. It is the end of term. The staff and students are looking forward to the holidays and a rest.

The speaker is Jane Smith. She has taught in this challenging low socio-economic school for the last 25 years.

Mr Harris, the school principal, has given her a warm introduction and returned to his seat. The focus, and the stage, is now hers alone.

Leave - with definition

A retirement speech sample by a teacher 

"Thank-you Mr. Harris {The Principal} for your wonderful introduction.

Have I really been here 25 years? That sounds like a long time ... about the same length as a double spell of English grammar on a Friday afternoon when the sun is shining. On and on, and on.

Fortunately for you I don't plan to.

I remember coming here with my brand-new teacher kit. I was full of ideas, things to do to make a difference. I thought I was the teacher and you, the students, were my pupils. How wrong I was.

It took a while to understand. I was, you see, a reluctant learner. My head was so full of how things 'should be', there was very little room for how things 'were'.

The gap in those early days between what I thought I needed to teach and what the students in my classes actually needed to learn was wide.

There were times when bridging it was difficult: even times when it seemed impossible, and I wanted to give up. To run away, as fast as I could.

I am very grateful I did not.

Mr. Harris is kind in saying I gave you the gift of myself: my energy, enthusiasm,  honesty, respect and love. While that's true, I'm going to turn those words around and give them straight back, for this is precisely what you have given me.

I have been privileged to have had in my classroom many, many fine young people. 25  years ago, some of them began to teach me how to teach.

They helped me build the first bridges. From them I learned true teaching is a special  partnership. It only works when the teacher can see through a student's outer image, into their heart and, can understand and respect what they see.

The student's role is to allow themselves  to be seen, not just for who they are, or have been, but also for who they could be.

Over the years I've been teaching, fashion has had skirts short, long, and short again. Underwear boldly  became over wear for a time. Hair has come, gone, been big, cropped, technicolored, bleached, curled, straightened, extended and dreadlocked. And lately, there's tatts.

Despite the changing  of outward appearance there has always been and always will be a constant. That is the inner need to strive for what is true and right.

I look back with gratitude. I entered a profession dedicated to assisting young people  achieve their potential, to revealing or finding their best selves and discovered it was a two-way street.

As I leave it, I am taking many of you with me. You will live on in my memories. I'll always remember the things we achieved together: the many successful plays we put on, the speeches you gave, the debates and end of year concerts.

I've been asked what I'm going to do now. I'm going to do a lot of things and very few  of them conform to the notion of retirement as a time of waiting for the inevitable end.

Helen Hayes, put it this way: 'People who refuse to rest honorably on their laurels when they reach “retirement” age seem very admirable to me.'

Quote: People who refuse to rest honorably on their laurels when they reach “retirement” age seem very admirable to me. Helen Hayes

I am  going to travel to places I've always wanted to go to and haven't been.

I am going to read books that have been waiting on my 'must read' list for years. I will garden, learn new skills, play with my grandchildren, visit art galleries, enjoy being around friends... In short, I plan to LIVE.

Thank you to my colleagues for their support, friendship and for being exemplars of  what it is to serve faithfully with humility. I will always remember our shared laughter, our joys, as well as our struggles.

Thank-you for the never-ending supply of black coffee in the staffroom to keep me awake and alert.

Thank-you too, for the notes of appreciation, words of encouragement, sharing of resources, and time but mostly for your sincerity and trust.

And lastly, I leave you with this thought. There is only ever one of each of us: one Jane Smith or one Mr Harris. We are unique.

We are neither better nor less than anybody else but rather the best or least of ourselves.

I  am still working on finding the best of me. It is an exciting on-going journey. Thank-you for being my traveling companions along a large and important part of my way. I am forever grateful for your company. 

Happy holidays!"

examples of funny retirement speeches

I hope my example retirement speech was useful to you and you're feeling more confident now about writing your own speech.

Remember there are no set rules - just guidelines which you can accept, alter or reject as you see fit.

Resources for writing your own speech

If you're feeling apprehensive, take heart. You can do this.

Go to 'how to write a retirement speech' . These are the guidelines I used for this speech sample. Use them to start putting together what you want to say. If you need additional help, there are full notes here on 'how to write a speech'

Do go through my collection of retirement quotations too. You'll find a broad and varied selection of one-liners plus verse. Some are warmly funny while others are sharp. There's sure to be something here for you.

*How long did this speech take to write?

Image: water color painting of an alarm clock. Text: The bad news is that time flies. The good news is that you're the pilot. Michael Altshuler

* For the time-conscious, my retirement speech sample took approximately 5 hours from planning to the form you see now.

Put in perspective against many years of work, that represents a very brief token of respect for your colleagues and yourself.

How long is this speech?

It is 749 words long which will take approximately six minutes to say .   

Is your speech writing 'bla, bla, bland'?

Discover how action verbs make your writing vocally vibrant, succinct and precise.

And lastly, some of you may appreciate this offer... 

Speech writer graphic with text: Are you finding writing your speech hard? I could do it for you. Click and find out more.

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examples of funny retirement speeches

Funny Retirement Advice

Poignant retirement advice - retirement never.

Giving funny retirement advice in your retirement speech can add interest and sparkle, but the content and your speech should reflect your personality. You should feel under no compulsion to use jokes, quotes or poems. They are not essential to an entertaining speech. Don ’t try it if you are not confident of your ability to do it well .

Retirement for couples

There is a commercial on Television these days which shows a gentleman, apparently just returned from his office retirement party, walking through the front door and saying to his wife: “Honey, I'’m home ... forever!”  Imagine the look on his wife’s face. And what does he have to look forward to? Happiness? Joy? Relief? The end of a working life! Perpetual unemployment! Deterioration! Stagnation! Decay!  Luckily, most of you people - especially homemakers-don’t have that problem. You never retire. But for all career men and women, my advice is: Avoid retirement as you would poison ivy in a nudist camp. 

From dynamic career to the doldrums

By “retirement” I mean the sudden stoppage of work, going from the dynamic career to the doldrums, from  vigor  to vegetation.  If you are seriously thinking about quitting your job, and have no ready replacement for it, permit me to offer you several practical suggestions: One, don’t quit! Two, keep busy! And three, don’t look back!  First of all, don’t quit! Maggie Kuhn, the founder of the Grey Panthers organisation, once said: “Ours is a throwaway society, and we do it with people as well as machines.”  Unfortunately, sometimes we do it ourselves, when we quit work prematurely. How often have you heard about men and women having heart attacks, shortly after retiring? Why? Because not infrequently, the retirement itself is more stressful than the work it was supposed to replace. 

If I had my say, every pension check would carry a warning: “This retirement may be hazardous to your health.” 

My second point is a corollary to the first: keep busy! You’'ve got to keep working, one way or another. You’'ve got to have a goal in life in order to survive. 

There are a number of options available: employment, leisure, volunteerism...take your pick.  If you choose employment, why not become a management consultant-like everyone else. All it takes is a title, a phone number and 500 business cards. If you need a title, be imaginative. I know an auto mechanic who is now a “vehicle maintenance engineer.” He repairs my Toyota - and drives a Mercedes. If you need a degree, that’s simple for you Toastmasters. All you have to do is complete the Basic Communication and Leadership Manual, and put CTM (Competent Toastmaster) behind your name. For all anyone knows, CTM means “Master of Computer Technology,” and that’s pretty important these days.  Another way to keep busy is by what I call “purposeful leisure.” Too often people think of leisure as the absence of work. Nonsense! It’s productive labour. Do you realise how much green fees and golf cart fees, for example, contribute to the gross national product? Billions! You golfers out there, men and women, tell your spouses that when you get up at four o’clock in the morning.  The best way to keep busy, of course, is by volunteer service . There must be a hundred thousand organisations out there that could use your help right now. They won’t discriminate against you because of your grey hair-or the lack of it, you grey panthers and bald eagles.  If you run out of ideas, try coordinating Speechcraft and Youth Leadership, the finest programs ever invented, for the training of the young - of all ages, and I might add, for the rejuvenation of jaded Toastmasters. 

Don't look back

Which brings me to my third point: don’t look back! James M. Barrie, the author of Peter Pan, once wrote: “God gave us memories, so that we could have roses in December.” Roses, not regrets. Nursing homes are filled with people who cling to their regrets like security blankets. Don’t look back and look down. Life isn’t a vicious circle. It’s a rising spiral, a cornucopia of opportunities. (Grandma Moses, Buckminster Fuller, Col. Sanders, Pablo Casals and our own Cavett Robert and Roy Graham are models of geriatric initiative.)  Pablo Casals at 90, for example, when asked why he practiced eight hours a day, replied: “I think I’'m improving. Just last week I heard of a Toastmaster who spent his first Social Security check on lessons in hang gliding. That’s the spirit!  What it all adds up to is this: we can’t quit. We can’t retire from life. It’s too precious. We'’ve got to keep working, whether for money, fun or glory. And above all we mustn'’t look back. 

Funny Retirement Advice?  Retirement Never!

It’s never too late to learn-to grow-to create, to do all the wonderful things we had no time for in our youth. This is what the last third of life is about. It’s a time of discovery, when we really begin to see, perhaps for the first time, the providence of God, the love of family, friends and neighbours-even Toastmasters-and sometimes we even catch a glimpse of our own potential...still...to do great deeds.  Life, my friends, is not a candle flickering in the breeze. It’s a torch to light new flames.

Roy was 77 at the time he gave this funny retirement advice. I have found his poignant and funny retirement advice to be a wonderful  retirement gift   to all who have read it since. I hope you enjoy it! This sample Retirement speech is reprinted here with the permission of Toastmaster International Magazine.

.... AND .... if you want to read more great Retirement Speeches, see our  great free gift  below!

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Funny Retirement One-Liners: 125 Hilarious Retirement One-Liners to Brighten Your Day

funny retirement one-liners

If you’re looking for a good laugh, these funny retirement one-liners will brighten your day and make the transition to retirement a bit more enjoyable.

Retirement is a milestone that many people look forward to, but it can also be a time of mixed emotions.

Whether you’re on the brink of retirement or just looking for a good laugh, these funny retirement one-liners will put a smile on your face.

I’ve also included a personal anecdote to give you a little insight into my own experience with the lighter side of retirement.

In this post, we’ll explore 125 funny retirement one-liners that are sure to bring a smile to your face and make the transition to retirement a bit more enjoyable.

The Importance of Humorous Retirement Quotes

We all know that laughter is the best medicine, and retirement is a perfect time to indulge in a little humor. When my mom retired, we threw him a big party. As a family, we shared countless jokes and funny one-liners that had everyone laughing. It was a reminder that retirement is not just the end of a career but the beginning of a new, fun-filled chapter.

Classic Retirement Jokes

retirement jokes

  • “Retirement: Where every day is Saturday.”
  • “Retirement: When you stop working and start living.”
  • “Goodbye tension, hello pension!”
  • “I can’t retire, I have a craft room full of unfinished projects!”
  • “Retirement: No job, no stress, no pay!”

These classics never fail to get a chuckle. They’re perfect for retirement cards, retirement motivational speeches , or just to share a laugh with friends.

Let’s explore more funny retirement one-liners.

Related Reading: Funny TikTok Comedians

100 Funny Retirement One-Liners to Make You Laugh Out Loud

hilarious quotes to celebrate retirement

  • “Retirement: It’s nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.”
  • “Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught.”
  • “Retirement: World’s longest coffee break.”
  • “I’m retired. Go around me.”
  • “Retirement: Where the hours are long, but the pay is short.”
  • “I’m retired. I was tired yesterday, and I’m tired again today.”
  • “I’m not retired; I’m a professional relaxer.”
  • “Retirement is when you stop stressing about the future and start worrying about your back.”
  • “Retired: No clock, no deadlines, no boss.”
  • “Retirement: The pay sucks, but the hours are great.”
  • “I don’t have a job, but I have a schedule full of nothing.”
  • “I never thought I’d say, ‘I can’t wait to be bored!'”
  • “I’m retired—leave a message.”
  • “Retirement: The art of getting out of doing anything.”
  • “Retirement: It’s like a long coffee break.”
  • “Retired: Living in pajamas.”
  • “I’m retired. Don’t ask me to do a thing.”
  • “Retirement: The best job I ever had.”
  • “Retirement is waking up with nothing to do and by bedtime having done only half of it.”
  • “I’m retired, not expired!”
  • “Retirement: More time for my favorite activities: napping, snacking, and repeating.”
  • “Retired: I get up when I want, if I want.”
  • “Retirement is the only real excuse you’ll ever have to spend your entire life’s savings.”
  • “I’m retired. Every hour is happy hour.”
  • “Retirement: There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
  • “I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.”
  • “Retirement: A time to enjoy all the things you never had time to do when you worked.”
  • “Retired: Young at heart, slightly older in other places.”
  • “I’m retired. Now I just work for my wife.”
  • “Retirement: The pay’s not great, but the hours are flexible.”
  • “I’m retired. I don’t want to, I don’t have to, and you can’t make me.”
  • “Retirement: When ‘I’m busy’ means doing nothing.”
  • “Retirement: The final frontier… of my patience.”
  • “Retired: Doing nothing never looked so good.”
  • “I’m retired. Every day is a weekend.”
  • “Retirement: No job, no stress, no worries.”
  • “Retirement: Where you do less before 9 AM than most people do all day.”
  • “Retired: No worries, no stress, no clock.”
  • “I’m retired. My biggest decision is whether to go to bed or not.”
  • “Retirement: My daily schedule is… no schedule.”
  • “I’m retired. My life is a constant coffee break.”
  • “Retired: All play, no work.”
  • “Retirement: When you stop living at work and start working at living.”
  • “I’m retired. No alarm clock, no deadlines, no problem.”
  • “Retirement: When you stop working for the man and start working for yourself.”
  • “Retired: My new career is doing nothing.”
  • “I’m retired. I’m not old, I’m a classic.”
  • “Retirement: When every day is a holiday.”
  • “Retired: My day starts when I wake up and ends when I feel like it.”
  • “Retirement: When you trade in the briefcase for a suitcase.”
  • “I’m retired. I have more time for the things that make me happy.”
  • “Retired: No meetings, no deadlines, no stress.”
  • “Retirement: The best time to do nothing.”
  • “I’m retired. I’ve got nowhere to go and all day to get there.”
  • “Retirement: When you finally get to do what you want.”
  • “Retired: Living the dream, one nap at a time.”
  • “I’m retired. I can’t keep calm, I’m retired.”
  • “Retirement: The world’s longest coffee break.”
  • “Retired: Time to work on my nap skills.”
  • “Retirement: Doing nothing never felt so good.”
  • “I’m retired. My new job is keeping myself busy.”
  • “Retirement: It’s not the end, it’s a new beginning.”
  • “Retired: No more working for a living.”
  • “Retirement: The joy of having nothing to do and all day to do it.”
  • “I’m retired. My new office is my couch.”
  • “Retired: The best kind of busy.”
  • “Retirement: When you start working for yourself.”
  • “I’m retired. I’m not old, I’m youthfully challenged.”
  • “Retired: Ready for the next adventure.”
  • “Retirement: Every day is a second chance.”
  • “I’m retired. I do what I want, when I want.”
  • “Retired: Enjoying life one day at a time.”
  • “Retirement: Where every day feels like a weekend.”
  • “I’m retired. My mission: relax and have fun.”
  • “Retired: Time to start a new chapter.”
  • “Retirement: No job, no boss, no problem.”
  • “I’m retired. My new office is wherever I want it to be.”
  • “Retired: Time to live my best life.”
  • “Retirement: When you start living the life you always wanted.”
  • “I’m retired. My new boss is my dog.”
  • “Retired: Free at last.”
  • “Retirement: Time to follow my dreams.”
  • “I’m retired. No alarm clocks allowed.”
  • “Retired: My new job is to enjoy life.”
  • “Retirement: When every day is a Saturday.”
  • “I’m retired. I’m not done, I’m just getting started.”
  • “Retired: Time to do what makes me happy.”
  • “Retirement: Living life on my own terms.”
  • “I’m retired. My new career is having fun.”
  • “Retired: Ready for a new adventure.”
  • “Retirement: Where every day is a vacation.”
  • “I’m retired. My new goal is to relax.”
  • “Retired: Time to do all the things I never had time to do.”
  • “Retirement: No schedule, no stress.”
  • “I’m retired. My life is now a permanent holiday.”
  • “Retired: My time is my own.”
  • “Retirement: When you stop making a living and start making a life.”
  • “I’m retired. Time to relax and enjoy life.”
  • “Retired: Living every day to the fullest.”
  • “Retirement: The next chapter of my life.”

Related Reading: Funny Instagram Locations

Retirement and Travel: A Match Made in Heaven

Retirement often means more time for travel. Here’s a humorous take on this newfound freedom:

  • “Retirement is when you stop living at work and start working at living.”
  • “I have a travel itinerary that makes my work schedule look lazy.”
  • “Retired: Free to go anywhere, but too tired to go everywhere.”
  • “In retirement, every day is a vacation—except for Tuesday, that’s golf day.”
  • “I worked my whole life for this—now where did I put my passport?”

Related Reading: Funny Monday Quotes for Work

The Financial Side of Retirement

Money might not buy happiness, but it can definitely influence retirement plans. Here are some one-liners about the financial aspects of retiring:

  • “I’m retired! You can call me anytime…if I can afford to answer.”
  • “Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying about your income.”
  • “I planned to retire and live off my savings, but now I have to think of another plan.”
  • “I’m not retired; I’m a professional coupon clipper.”
  • “Living on a fixed income isn’t so bad—it’s the ‘fixed’ part that’s the challenge.”

Related Reading: Hobbies for Retired Men

The Joys of Free Time

One of the best things about retirement is having more free time. Here are some funny takes on how retirees fill their days:

  • “I’m so busy doing nothing that I don’t have time to do anything.”
  • “Retirement: Twice as much husband, half as much money.”
  • “I don’t always go out, but when I do, I don’t remember why.”
  • “Retirement: The art of doing nothing without getting bored.”
  • “My schedule: Wake up, drink coffee, repeat.”

Health and Exercise in Retirement

Staying healthy is important, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be funny. Here are some one-liners about retirement and staying active:

  • “Retirement: Where the only exercise you get is running out of money.”
  • “I’m not retired; I’m a full-time walker of the dog.”
  • “I have a retirement plan. It involves a lot of naps.”
  • “They say ‘Do what you love.’ I guess I’ll be napping professionally.”
  • “Retirement: The only exercise I get is pushing my luck.”

A Personal Take on Retirement Humor

retirement funny quotes

When my father retired, he was a bit apprehensive about how he would fill his days. But his transition into retirement was smooth, thanks in large part to his great sense of humor. I remember him saying, “Retirement is when you stop bossing around your coworkers and start bossing around your grandkids.” His ability to find humor in the situation helped him and everyone around him see retirement in a positive light.

Why We Love Retirement Jokes

Retirement jokes and one-liners are more than just funny—they’re a way to bring people together. They offer a light-hearted perspective on what can be a significant life change. By laughing at the quirks and challenges of retirement, we can embrace this new stage of life with a smile.

The Benefits of Humor in Retirement

Humor isn’t just fun; it’s beneficial, too. Laughing can reduce stress, improve mood, and even enhance social connections. For retirees, humor can be a great way to stay mentally and emotionally healthy. Sharing jokes and funny one-liners can strengthen relationships and create a sense of community among retirees.

Finding Your Own Retirement Humor

Everyone’s sense of humor is different, so finding the jokes and one-liners that resonate with you is important. Whether you enjoy classic jokes, witty observations, or personal anecdotes, there’s something out there to make you laugh. Consider writing your own retirement one-liners or sharing your favorites with friends and family.

Making Retirement Fun

Retirement is a time to enjoy life and have fun. Incorporating humor into your daily routine can make this stage of life even more enjoyable. Whether it’s through funny one-liners, watching comedies, or spending time with humorous friends, there’s no shortage of ways to laugh your way through retirement.

Sharing the Laughter

One of the best parts of retirement humor is sharing it with others. Whether you’re at a retirement party, a family gathering, or just chatting with friends, funny retirement one-liners can break the ice and get everyone laughing. So, the next time you’re with a group of retirees, share a joke and see how quickly the room fills with laughter.

Funny Retirement One-Liners: FAQ

What is a catchy phrase for retirement.

“Retirement: The Beginning of Your Next Great Adventure.” It’s the time to relish freedom, pursue passions, and enjoy every moment. Embrace the joy and endless possibilities ahead!

What are the best short retirement quotes?

“The best time to start enjoying life is now.” “Retirement: Where every day is a weekend.” “Goodbye tension, hello pension!”

What's a nice retirement message?

Congratulations on your retirement! Wishing you endless joy, relaxation, and the freedom to pursue all your passions. Enjoy this new chapter to the fullest!

How do you wish retirement in one word?

Conclusion: embrace the humor with funny retirement one-liners.

Retirement is a significant transition, but it doesn’t have to be serious all the time. By embracing the humor and finding the funny side of retirement, you can make this time in your life even more enjoyable. So, keep these funny retirement one-liners handy, and don’t be afraid to laugh out loud. After all, retirement is the perfect time to find joy in the little things and share a good laugh with the people you care about.

Readers, please share these funny retirement one-liners.

Related Reading

Funny Monday Instagram Captions

Janice Wald Mostly Blogging MostlyBlogging.com

Janice Wald is the founder of MostlyBlogging.com and co-founder of the Mostly Blogging Academy. She is an ebook author, blogger, blogging coach, blogging judge, freelance writer, and speaker. She won the Best Internet Marketer Award and the Best Blogger Award at the 2021 Infinity Blog Awards. Wald was also nominated as 2019 Best Internet Marketer by the Infinity Blog Awards and in 2017 as the Most Informative Blogger by the London Bloggers Bash. She’s been featured on Small Business Trends, the Huffington Post, and Lifehack.

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Trump keeps losing his train of thought. Cognitive experts have theories about why

Olivia Goldhill

By Olivia Goldhill Aug. 7, 2024

A screen shows former president Donald Trump's mouth as he speaks — politics coverage from STAT

I n a speech earlier this year, former President Trump was mocking President Biden’s ability to walk through sand when he suddenly switched to talking about the old Hollywood icon Cary Grant.

“Somebody said he [Biden] looks great in a bathing suit, right? When he was in the sand and he was having a hard time lifting his feet through the sand, because you know, sand is heavy. They figure three solid ounces per foot. But sand is a little heavy. And he’s sitting in a bathing suit. Look, at 81, do you remember Cary Grant? How good was Cary Grant, right? I don’t think Cary Grant — he was good. I don’t know what happened to movie stars today,” he said at a March rally in Georgia. Trump went on to talk about contemporary actors, Michael Jackson, and border policies before returning to the theme of how Biden looks on the beach.

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This shifting from topic to topic, with few connections — a pattern of speech called tangentiality — is one of several disjointed and occasionally incoherent verbal habits that seem to have increased in Trump’s speech in recent years, according to interviews with experts in memory, psychology, and linguistics.

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19 Facts About Tim Walz, Harris’s Pick for Vice President

Mr. Walz, the governor of Minnesota, worked as a high school social studies teacher and football coach, served in the Army National Guard and chooses Diet Mountain Dew over alcohol.

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Gov. Tim Walz of Minnesota, in a gray T-shirt and baseball cap, speaks at a Kamala Harris event in St. Paul, Minn., last month.

By Simon J. Levien and Maggie Astor

  • Published Aug. 6, 2024 Updated Aug. 9, 2024

Until recently, Gov. Tim Walz of Minnesota was a virtual unknown outside of the Midwest, even among Democrats. But his stock rose fast in the days after President Biden withdrew from the race, clearing a path for Ms. Harris to replace him and pick Mr. Walz as her No. 2.

Here’s a closer look at the Democrats’ new choice for vice president.

1. He is a (very recent) social media darling . Mr. Walz has enjoyed a groundswell of support online from users commenting on his Midwestern “dad vibes” and appealing ordinariness.

2. He started the whole “weird” thing. It was Mr. Walz who labeled former President Donald J. Trump and his running mate, Senator JD Vance of Ohio, “weird” on cable television just a couple of weeks ago. The description soon became a Democratic talking point.

3. He named a highway after Prince and signed the bill in purple ink. “I think we can lay to rest that this is the coolest bill signing we’ll ever do,” he said as he put his name on legislation declaring a stretch of Highway 5 the “Prince Rogers Nelson Memorial Highway” after the musician who had lived in Minnesota.

4. He reminds you of your high school history teacher for a reason. Mr. Walz taught high school social studies and geography — first in Alliance, Neb., and then in Mankato, Minn. — before entering politics.

5. He taught in China in 1989 and speaks some Mandarin. He went to China for a year after graduating from college and taught English there through a program affiliated with Harvard University.

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IMAGES

  1. 9+ Retirement Speech Examples

    examples of funny retirement speeches

  2. Humorous retirement speech quote for lazy old retirees doing nothing

    examples of funny retirement speeches

  3. Funny Retirement Speeches. Leaving Stories for Speech

    examples of funny retirement speeches

  4. Here's funny retirement advice from a distinguished Toastmaster

    examples of funny retirement speeches

  5. Humorous Retirement Speech Examples

    examples of funny retirement speeches

  6. Funny short retirement speeches

    examples of funny retirement speeches

COMMENTS

  1. 5 Retirement Speech Ideas with Examples

    3. Funny Retirement Speech. Being light-hearted at the end of one's career is a graceful but uplifting way to bid farewell. If you choose to make a funny retirement speech, be sure it is not offensive and still conveys your genuine appreciation for your colleagues. Funny Retirement Speech Example:

  2. Retirement Speech Tips with One Liners and Jokes

    Structuring your speech. It's funny we work all our lives and in many ways our retirement speech is the last thing we have to do. You would think that we would put a lot of time into what to say. ... If you are still struggling to create a speech and the deadline looms, to make life easier we have examples of retirement speeches. These can be ...

  3. Funny retirement quotes for your farewell speech

    Humorous quotes about money: "The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.". George Foreman. "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.". Chi Chi Rodriguez. "Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.". Gene Perret.

  4. How to Write a Memorable Retirement Speech + Examples

    Short Retirement Speech Examples. Here are some snippets of retirement speeches that you can amend for your situation. Remember, it is important to speak from the heart. Your audience will appreciate a more authentic speech rather than a stoic message. ... Funny retirement speech. Christopher has many gifts and talents. And he has contributed a ...

  5. Jokes For Retirement Speeches

    Some short retirement jokes and quotes: "The good news is that I'm only going to make one retirement speech, and this is it". "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch" R C Sherriff. "It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man" Scott ...

  6. Amazing Retirement Speeches Examples & Writing Tips

    Funny retirement speech example. This humorous speech won an international speech contest decades ago. If you want to draft an informal speech, pay attention to the structure and tone of voice in this example. Professional tips on what to say in your retirement speech. As you give a speech for your retirement celebration, things can easily go ...

  7. Retirement Speech Examples and Ideas That Get It Right

    Original Sample Speeches for Retirees. If you need a little more guidance on writing your retirement speech, check out these original sample speeches. They might help inspire your own speech or might be appropriate to use with a little customizing. For help with downloading or printing these sample speeches, refer to the Guide for Adobe Printables.

  8. Guide On How To Write An Amazing Retirement Speech With Examples

    1. Plan Ahead. Before diving into your farewell retirement speech, ensure you have ample time to plan and prepare. Create a rough outline beforehand, jotting down key points you want to cover. Some crucial points you may want to prioritize in your draft outline: The beginning: Reflect on your early days in the company.

  9. How To Write A Memorable Retirement Speech: A Complete Guide

    Organizing notes and structuring the speech effectively. Organize your notes and structure the speech effectively to ensure a smooth and coherent delivery. Start with a compelling opening that grabs the audience's attention and establishes a connection. Arrange your thoughts logically, transitioning smoothly from one point to the next.

  10. Giving Your Perfect Retirement Speech

    Retirement Speech Ideas & Examples. Crafting a memorable retirement speech is an art form that's unique to you. It's about striking the perfect balance between professional reflections and personal anecdotes. Here are some examples that can serve as inspiration for your own speech: #1 Funny Retirement Speech

  11. Retirement Speech Examples To Send You Off In Style

    Conclude and Make a Toast: "Let's raise a toast to [colleague's name]!". "Please join me in wishing [him/her] a happy and healthy retirement!". Remember: Keep it heartfelt, focus on their contributions, and express your best wishes for a fulfilling retirement.

  12. Retirement Speech Ideas: 7 Brainstorming Prompts

    A retirement speech should be heartfelt and genuine, showcasing the retiree's gratitude for their colleagues, friends, and family members who have supported them throughout their career. The speech can also include future retirement plans and goals. It is essential to keep the tone light-hearted and humorous while still expressing sincere ...

  13. How to Write a Retirement Speech

    A retirement speech can also be given by the person retiring. They may thank their fellow employees for the beautiful years and for helping them grow in the company. These occasions are usually informal. That means you can deliver a casually funny retirement speech that's the opposite of typical, formal speeches.

  14. 7 Retirement Speech Samples (from the Retiree)

    Sample Retirement Speeches (from the Retiree) The speeches outlined in this article are tailored to encapsulate various careers, personalities, and sentiments, each offering a unique perspective on the transition from a professional life to retirement. They are detailed, and imbued with a mix of emotions and anecdotes, making each one a ...

  15. Sample retirement speech honoring a co-worker

    The sample retirement speech below has notes to give you a structure you can use for your retirement tribute. But first, some guidelines about what to say and what to avoid. Retirement speeches and toasts can be funny or touching. They are often the highlight of a retirement party given to recognize the retiree's work or the person's role in ...

  16. Funny Retirement Quotes To Weave Into Humorous Retirement Speeches

    Great funny speeches really captivate and keep your audiences' attention. So, go on, have the last laugh and word! HUMOROUS RETIREMENT QUOTES. Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five - I still had pimples. George Burns. Retirement life: seen it all, done it all -. Can't remember most of it!

  17. How To Craft A Memorable Retirement Speech By A Retiree And For A Retiree

    Use this guide as a structural template to help you craft a retirement speech that's both personal and impactful. Let's dive in! 1. Hook 'em From The Start. Begin with a bang! Use a funny anecdote, a heartfelt reflection, or a powerful quote to grab the audience's attention and set the tone for the speech. For example:

  18. 28 Powerful Tips For Your Retirement Speech

    6. Speak From The Heart. Let your genuine emotions shine through to make your speech authentic and engaging. Show your appreciation and admiration for everyone celebrating with you and express yourself properly and appropriately in response to their heartfelt congratulations and well-wishes. 7.

  19. Retirement speech sample

    The retirement speech sample below was written to show you the end result of using the step-by-step guidelines I put together on 'how to write a retirement speech' and, to find out just how long it took to follow my own advice! *You can find the answer to that $64 thousand dollar question at the foot of the page. Although my farewell address is fictional, it is based on experience.

  20. Funny Retirement Advice in a Sample Humorous Retirement Speech

    Poignant Retirement Advice - Retirement Never! Giving funny retirement advice in your retirement speech can add interest and sparkle, but the content and your speech should reflect your personality. You should feel under no compulsion to use jokes, quotes or poems. They are not essential to an entertaining speech.

  21. 70 Retirement Toasts and Quotes for An Amazing Retirement Celebration

    Here are ten inspirational retirement toasts: The Journey Ahead: "Here's to [Name], whose new journey is about to begin. May retirement be the open road that leads to fulfillment and joy.". Lifetime of Achievements: "A toast to [Name], whose dedication and hard work have left a lasting legacy.

  22. Funny Retirement One-Liners: 125 Hilarious Retirement One-Liners to

    100 Funny Retirement One-Liners to Make You Laugh Out Loud. "Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.". "Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught.". "Retirement: World's longest coffee break.". "I'm retired.

  23. Funny Retirement Wishes for Coworkers, Friends & Family

    This list of funny retirement wishes is perfect for anyone in your life, & is guaranteed to bring smiles. Dictionary ... Whether you're writing a retirement roast speech or just putting a funny note in a greeting card, these are some hilarious ways to congratulate coworkers on retirement:

  24. Experts: Trump speech patterns hint of potential cognitive decline

    I n a speech earlier this year, former President Trump was mocking President Biden's ability to walk through sand when he suddenly switched to talking about the old Hollywood icon Cary Grant. ...

  25. 19 Facts About Tim Walz, Harris's Pick for Vice President

    4. He reminds you of your high school history teacher for a reason. Mr. Walz taught high school social studies and geography — first in Alliance, Neb., and then in Mankato, Minn. — before ...