Thomas Merton: 'Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real.'

Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real.

Thomas Merton once said, "Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real." At first glance, this quote seems straightforward, emphasizing the importance of humility over pride. Essentially, it suggests that when we succumb to pride and allow ourselves to be driven by ego, we become disconnected from our true selves and the world around us. In contrast, when we practice humility, we become more authentic, connecting with others and finding our genuine place in the world. While this perspective already offers thought-provoking insights, let us explore a surprising philosophical concept that sheds even more light on this topic: the philosophy of existentialism.Existentialism, a philosophical movement that emerged in the early 19th century, examines the nature of human existence, individuality, and authenticity. It argues that each person has the freedom and responsibility to define their own meaning in life. Through this lens, the relationship between pride, humility, and authenticity gains a new dimension. Pride, often rooted in our desire to prove our worth and establish a certain image, can lead us down a path of artificiality. We may become obsessed with external validation, striving to maintain an illusion of superiority or success. In the process, we disconnect from our authentic selves, living in a performative and hollow manner.On the other hand, humility invites us to confront reality with honesty and sincerity. It encourages us to embrace our vulnerability and limitations, which paradoxically strengthens our connection to others and ourselves. When we practice humility, we acknowledge that we are part of a larger whole, and our self-worth is not solely defined by external achievements or comparisons. This recognition enables us to live more authentically, anchored in a deeper understanding of who we are and what truly matters to us.Existentialism highlights the importance of authenticity and self-awareness as we navigate the complexities of life. By embracing humility, we create a state of being that is genuine, honest, and aligned with our core values. It allows us to shed the artificial layers we may have built up over time, revealing our true selves to the world.Moreover, the philosophy of existentialism invites us to reflect upon the power dynamics inherent in the human experience. Pride often arises from a place of asserting dominance or superiority over others, establishing a hierarchy that undermines our sense of interconnectedness. In contrast, humility recognizes the inherent worth and value of every individual. It fosters empathy, compassion, and a genuine desire to understand and uplift others. In this way, humility not only makes us more authentic but also promotes a more harmonious and inclusive society.In a world that often celebrates individual achievements, the concept of humility may seem counterintuitive. However, it is precisely through cultivating humility that we can break free from the limitations of artificiality. We are all complex beings with unique experiences and perspectives, and embracing humility allows us to honor this diversity while embracing our interconnectedness. Instead of being driven by a need for external validation, we can focus on living in accordance with our core values and fostering meaningful connections with others.Ultimately, the quote by Thomas Merton emphasizes the transformative power of humility in counteracting the artificiality bred by pride. By integrating existentialist concepts into our interpretation, we gain a deeper understanding of the significance of authenticity in our lives. Humility invites us to celebrate our individuality while recognizing our shared humanity and interconnectedness. It reminds us that true fulfillment lies not in artificial facades but in the genuine connections we cultivate and the authentic selves we embrace. So, let us practice humility and embark on a journey towards becoming our most real and authentic selves.

Thomas Merton: 'Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.'

Thomas merton: 'love is our true destiny. we do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another.'.

Greater Good Science Center • Magazine • In Action • In Education

The Eight Kinds of Humility That Can Help You Stay Grounded

Humility has been lauded as a virtue in most world cultures and wisdom traditions. More recently, scientists have started to study humility, and they’re discovering its many benefits.

“Psychologists have recently linked intellectual humility to a host of benefits: showing more persistence in the face of failure, holding less polarized beliefs and attitudes, and being received as warm and friendly by others,” writes Tyrone Sgambati in Greater Good .

As a psychiatrist, I think humility springs from deep awareness that the world can only come through our own eyes, experiences, and insights. No matter how knowledgeable or skillful I might be, there’s always more to learn. There are always people with different perspectives, life experiences, knowledge, and skills. There are always different people to cherish, be present with, and learn from. Humility helps us cultivate  empathy  and relatedness. Without those, where are we?

essay on humility makes us real

We’re also learning that there are many different kinds of humility—and that each one can have limitations. I’m wary of those who counsel deferential or pious humility to contain and admonish those who have strong opinions and perspectives. For example, the stereotype of humble Asians and Asian Americans acts to silence important messages that are quite critical to our time of change and distress. To be bold and not “humble” per se risks being called “arrogant” or “difficult to deal with.”

I think it’s possible to be both brave and humble, but it requires constant internal and interpersonal work, and risks rupturing or distressing relationships. That perspective keeps me grounded even when I express myself and my concerns for marginalized peoples quite strongly. In that way, a sense of responsibility and allyship fuels both bravery and many forms of humility.

Here’s an overview of eight varieties of humility—and of all the ways they can keep us grounded even in the face of injustices.

Cultural humility. We all have biases based on our cultural experiences and identities. Our experiences might give us only partial understandings of people from other cultures, and, all too often, we might carry stereotyped assumptions about other cultures that will inevitably cause harm. We all live in perspective bubbles, though these bubbles are now more porous than ever.

Familial (or intergenerational) humility. It would do the world a lot of good if parents (and older people generally) would be humble in the face of their children’s perspectives in life. They are literally seeing a whole new ballgame. Similarly, older folks have often accumulated wisdom and experience, and younger people could afford to be humble as well when hearing them out. Perhaps everyone in the family, older and younger, could afford to be more humble in the face of uncertainty and the need to negotiate relationships in times of distress.

Intellectual humility (particularly around opinion). A study published in the Journal of Personality Assessment proposed two key dimensions of intellectual humility: self-directed vs. other-directed and internal vs. expressed. These can be mapped out into a two-by-two grid with these four domains:

  • Internal and self-directed intellectual humility: requires inquiring within and questioning yourself and your assumptions.
  • Internal and other-directed intellectual humility: requires asking yourself whether you can understand and relate to others’ beliefs and perspectives.
  • Expressed and self-directed intellectual humility: requires behaving in ways consistent with your internal sense of humility.
  • Expressed and other-directed intellectual humility: requires relating to others in good faith. I think cultivating a sense of common humanity, and feeding common humanity with our actions, despite differences of opinion is really important here.

The therapeutic adages “you can be right or related” and “you can be right or happy” are helpful here. Also, we might try to remember the folk Buddhist saying: “The world is divided into those who are right.”

Humility of knowledge. As much as any of us might have known or learned, there’s always more to learn and understand. There are also obviously different perspectives on the same body of knowledge or even the same event. I think it’s important for those in the dominant culture to be humble when trying to relate to those with lived experience and close-to-the-ground knowledge in the areas in question.

Humility of skill. No matter how skillful we might be, it’s good to stay humble in the face of new situations, the potential for errors, and the inevitability of change. Humility can help us stay grounded and  mindful  in the situation for which our skills are required.

Humility of wisdom. I think we’d all like to eventually be respected and appreciated for our wisdom, accomplishments, skill, talent, or knowledge accumulated through life experience and lifelong learning and growth. However, as Socrates said, “the only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” Holding a position of power and privilege predisposes to erosions of empathy, relatedness, and wisdom. Humility, holding true to the bigger picture, and deep relationship to a wide variety of people guard against these erosions and corruptions.

essay on humility makes us real

Expanding Awareness of the Science of Intellectual Humility

This article is part of our three-year GGSC project to raise awareness about intellectual humility research and its implications.

Humility of awe. “The fate of this man or that man was less than a drop, although it was a sparkling one, in the great blue motion of the sunlit sea,” writes T. H. White in The Once and Future King . White is capturing how simultaneously important and small we are in the universe, a feeling researcher Dacher Keltner describes in his scientific understanding of awe: “being in the presence of something vast that transcends your understanding of the world.” He goes on to highlight the evolutionary benefits of awe (which is linked to humility): “Awe binds us to social collectives and enables us to act in more collaborative ways that enable strong groups, thus improving our odds for survival.” Awe helps us to see that the whole is truly greater than the sum of all parts. Which brings us to…

Humility in the face of suffering. Suffering is a vast subject. Research has shown that we are often pulled to help others, but we can become overwhelmed and shut down when faced with large-scale suffering and catastrophe. How do we keep an open heart? I believe the answer lies in cultivating presence, humility, and humor in the face of suffering and potential suffering. That kind of humility will help us to go beyond the scope of our current capacity—and keep us honest, open, ready, and alive.

This essay was revised from a blog entry published by Psychology Today on September 8, 2022. Read the original .

essay on humility makes us real

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Why Is It Important to Stay Humble?

The Benefits of Humility

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Humility is the ability to accurately view your talents and flaws while being void of arrogance. Some believe that being humble means having low self-esteem and a lack of confidence , but it's the opposite. Humility is having the self-esteem to understand that even though you are doing well, you do not have to brag or gloat about it. 

Learn why it's important to be humble, along with ways to show your humility. We also discuss the importance of humility or being humbled, as well as why this particular character trait is often undervalued.

Humility is not always acknowledged as a relevant trait to possess but is, in fact, a remarkable character strength .

Benefits of Being Humble

It is important to stay humble, or in some cases be humbled, because having humility not only helps you develop a more kind approach to interacting with others but also influences how you perceive yourself and the world around you.

Strengthens Connection With Others

Humility helps one extend more empathy and compassion to others. Those who are humble are more likely to consider others’ beliefs and opinions. This is most likely because humility offers the opportunity to become less self-involved and more attuned to the feelings of others.

If you can be happy for others and their accomplishments and not be consumed by jealousy or self-pity, this can help you develop more positive relationships .

Broaden's Perspective of Self

Humility also aids in the development of self-awareness and self-growth. How? Being humble allows one to rationally acknowledge ways they can improve themselves.

Humility can produce more happiness , positive emotions, and well-being because a person has a clearer understanding of the self. They are able to be comfortable with who they are and who they are not. 

Broaden's Perspective of the World

Humility can help you develop a more profound and evolved outlook of the world and what is going on in it. This trait allows you to consciously be aware that you bring worth to this world but, at the same time, there are many others in the world who also have a purpose . 

Strengthens Spirituality, Religion, and Well-Being

Being humble is also considered a religious virtue. There is a correlation between humility, positive well-being , religion, and spirituality.  

Researchers discovered that for those with a moderate amount of humility (as opposed to lower levels), humility acts as a moderator that helps facilitate positive psychological functioning for those who consider themselves religious or spiritual.

Improves Mental Health

Research has found that being humble offers both physical and mental health benefits. Specifically, people who are humble tend to have greater happiness and life satisfaction while also experiencing less depression and anxiety. It is believed that this is because humility buffers the effects of stress on well-being.

How to Be More Humble

Let's take a look at ways in which you can learn to be more humble.

Don't Confuse Pride With Prideful

Most would consider humility the antonym of pride and may associate pride as being a bad trait to possess. Pride is not a negative thing—it is actually quite important. Pride involves being proud and there is nothing wrong with being proud of yourself or where you come from.

Taking pride in yourself, your culture, your achievements, etc. are great qualities. It’s important to embrace who you are , what you’ve accomplished, and the journey it took to get there.

However, if pride becomes extreme, this is when humility is absent and a person may exhibit selfish or narcissistic behaviors . If a person begins to think they are better than others and only makes decisions based on what’s best for them, they are considered self-centered and prideful. 

Obsessive pride makes it difficult to be considerate to others or form genuine relationships. People who are too prideful may not notice or realize that there are areas in which they can improve. Prideful people may also find it difficult to be self-aware when they are in the wrong.

Do Some Soul Searching

Those who are prideful can display a cockiness that stems from unidentified insecurities. Overly high self-esteem is not actually confidence but, in fact, repressed negative emotions toward oneself.

Understand Yourself Better

Unacknowledged insecurities could be the source of egotistic or self-righteous behavior to protect oneself from criticism from others or rejection. It’s important to evaluate if overly high self-esteem may originate from your own insecurities or past experiences. A mental health professional can help you gain more insight into who you are and who you would like to be.

Give Out Compliments When You Can

Acknowledging the achievements and accomplishments of others can help you move the attention off yourself a bit. Focusing on the feelings of others sometimes helps you get out of yourself more.

Compliment others for jobs well done. Every now and then, we all need to hear that we’re on the right track. So, be the person who assures someone they’re doing OK.

Don't Be a Pushover

Don’t confuse humility with compliance. Holding people in high regard and giving them your consideration does not mean you must allow them to walk all over you.

You should always stand up for yourself and what you believe and do your best no matter what. The point of humility is that you do not have to make someone feel worthless while doing so. This doesn't mean becoming a pushover though.

Allowing others to take advantage of you can take a toll on your well-being. This also impacts an individual’s confidence and can cause resentment, so be sure to consider yourself while considering others.

Humility Is Underrated

Many people do not realize how essential it is to be humble. This may be because they do not fully understand the concept or have yet to learn what it means to be humble.

After coming across a survey evaluating life satisfaction in middle-aged adults, experts in positive psychology found it concerning that humility and modesty were not highly recognized character traits that equated to life satisfaction. This caused them to reflect on America’s culture and how we view traits such as humility. 

In a communist society, individuals embed a “survivor of the fittest” mindset, in which the stronger and better reach the top. So, people are forced to develop a “ look out for your own” viewpoint. People are exposed to consistent competition as children, competing for attention in academia, athletics, and the home. In adulthood, this competitive nature rears its head in career settings.

Similar ideologies are present in what both children and adults watch and listen to. The culture of the entertainment industry—such as music, television, and other sources often consuming our attention—finds a need to portray vain and egocentric concepts.

In an older study involving undergraduate students, humility was not viewed as a quality necessary for entertainers or leaders. This makes it difficult to understand the need for humility not just in how we engage with each other, but in how we view the world.

Even if you are the best at something this time, be humble because you may not be the best the next time around. And that’s okay.

Accept failure graciously when it occurs and humbly support others by giving them flowers and a standing ovation when it's due. Sometimes you won't be the one on the stage receiving accolades and it can feel just as satisfying in the audience, sitting down and being humble. 

Nielsen R, Marrone JA. Humility: Our current understanding of the construct and its role in organizations . Int J Manage Rev . 2018;20(4):805-824. doi:10.1111/ijmr.12160

Johnson CR. Intellectual humility and empathy by analogy . Topoi . 2017;38:221-228. doi:10.1007/s11245-017-9453-0

Van Tongeren DR, Davis DE, Hook JN, vanOyen Witvliet C. Humility . Curr Direct Psycholog Sci . 2019;28(5):463-468. doi:10.1177/0963721419850153

Akhtar S. Humility . Am J Psychoanal . 2018;78:1-27. doi:10.1057/s11231-017-9120-7

Cole Wright J, Nadelhoffer T, Thomson Ross L, Sinnott-Armstrong W. Be it ever so humble: Proposing a dual-dimension account and measurement of humility . Self Ident . 2018;17(1):92-125. doi:10.1080/15298868.2017.1327454

Davis DE, Hook JN, McAnnally-Linz R, Choe E, Placeres V. Humility, religion, and spirituality: a review of the literature . Psychol Relig Spirit . 2017:9(3):242-253. doi:10.1037/rel0000111

Paine DR, Sandage SJ, Ruffing EG, Hill PC. Religious and spiritual salience, well-being, and psychosocial functioning among psychotherapy clients: Moderator effects for humility. J Relig Health . 2018;57(6):2398-2415. doi:10.1007/s10943-018-0612-4

Krause N, Pargament KI, Hill PC, Ironson G. Humility, stressful life events, and psychological well-being: Findings from the landmark spirituality and health survey . J Pos Psychol . 2016;11(5):499-510. doi:10.1080/17439760.2015.1127991

Rogoza R, Kwiatkowska MM, Kowalski CM, Ślaski S. A brief tale of the two faces of narcissism and two facets of pride . Personal Individ Diff . 2018;126:104-108. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2018.01.027

Harvey JH. Pauwels BG. Modesty, humility, character strength, and positive psychology . J Soc Clin Psychol. 2005;23(5): doi:10.1521/jscp.23.5.620.50753

Exline JJ, Geyer AL. Perceptions of humility: A preliminary study . Self Ident. 2004;95-114. doi:10.1080/13576500342000077

By Tiara Blain, MA Tiara Blain, MA, is a freelance writer for Verywell Mind. She is a health writer and researcher passionate about the mind-body connection, and holds a Master's degree in psychology.

What Is Humility & Why Is It Important? (Incl. Examples)

Mother Theresa - Humility

Deriving from the word humus (earth), it appears to clash with our current valuation of self-worth and self-realization.

But humility has nothing to do with meekness or weakness. And neither does it mean being self-effacing or submissive. Humility is an attitude of spiritual modesty that comes from understanding our place in the larger order of things. It entails not taking our desires, successes, or failings too seriously.

In the past decade in particular, psychologists have rediscovered the importance of humility. They have established fascinating links between humility and our ability to learn and be effective leaders, and our readiness to engage in prosocial behavior.

Adopting a more humble mindset increases our overall psychological wellbeing and ensures our social functioning. Last but not least, humility is a perfect antidote to the self-fixated spirit of our age.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Strengths Exercises for free . These detailed, science-based exercises will help you or your clients realize your unique potential and create a life that feels energized and authentic.

This Article Contains:

The history of humility, what is humility in psychology, humility as a character strength, why is humility important, 5 real-life examples, how to practice humility.

  • 5 Exercises for Fostering Humility

4 Tips for Raising a Humble Kid

Techniques for humble leadership and workplace, the importance of humility in relationships.

  • 2 Books on the Topic

A Take-Home Message

Humility is a core value in many ancient ethical and theological frameworks. The Confucian form of humility, for example, is profoundly other oriented in spirit, consistently valuing the social good over the satisfaction of our individual aspirations. In this ancient Chinese form, humility can significantly enhance social cohesion and our sense of belonging.

The Greek philosopher Socrates held that wisdom is, above all, knowing what we don’t know. He taught an intellectual form of humility that freely acknowledges the gaps in our knowledge and that humbly seeks to address our blind spots.

Aristotle understood humility as a moral virtue, sandwiched between the vices of arrogance and moral weakness. Like Socrates, he believed that humility must include accurate self-knowledge and a generous acknowledgment of the qualities of others that avoids distortion and extremes.

An accurate understanding of our strengths and weaknesses is still a core feature of current definitions of humility.

Christian humility is linked to self-abnegation, shame, and sin and may therefore not be to everyone’s taste. However, the ancient theologians can still help us to avoid arrogance and pretentiousness. They remind us that we are members of a species that is far from perfect and urge us to be mindful of the limited role we each have to play in the fate of humanity as a whole.

Through the centuries, the importance of humility as a moral character virtue has faded. However, psychological studies of humility have surged in the last two decades (Worthington, Davis, & Hook, 2017). This renewed interest in humility is, in no small part, a counter-reaction to what the authors of The Narcissism Epidemic , Jean Twenge and W. Keith Campbell (2009), have described as our “ age of entitlement .”

Today, self-realization and enhancing our self-worth are our highest aspirations. Precisely because it provides an antidote to many worrying tendencies of our age, such as arrogance, greed, and self-centeredness (all of which also have devastating consequences for our democracies and our planet), humility is experiencing a much-needed revival.

What is Humility in psychology

Capturing our other-orientation, it is closely related to modesty and fairness, but also our interest in wealth and other signs of status and our inclination toward self-promotion. Crucially, it also involves seeing ourselves accurately – not thinking of ourselves more highly (or, for that matter, lowly) than is appropriate.

Worthington et al. (2017) understand humility as made up of three parts:

  • Accurate self-perception
  • Modest self-portrayal
  • Other-oriented relational stance

They note that the recent growth in humility-focused studies coincides with the rise of positive psychology and frustration with the limitations of purely individualistic virtues. Alongside compassion, forgiveness, altruism, gratitude, and empathy, humility belongs to “ a cluster of virtues that bind society together ” (Worthington et al., 2017).

Worthington et al. (2017) further divide humility into general humility and more specific kinds of humility. These include intellectual humility, relating to an openness about our views, beliefs, and opinions; and cultural humility, an ability to acknowledge and learn from the achievements of other cultures (Hazlett, 2012; Davis et al., 2015).

Other sub-types of humility are political and spiritual humility.

While other-orientedness is a core interpersonal feature of humility, Tangney (2009) has identified six intrapersonal aspects of humility:

  • A willingness to see ourselves truthfully
  • An accurate perception of our place in the world
  • An ability to acknowledge our mistakes and limitations
  • Low self-focus
  • An appreciation of the value of all things

Hill and Laney (2016), finally, understand humility as involving a quiet ego (see also Kesebir, 2014).

Choosing humility in a self-centered age – Quincy Mix

We can also understand humility as a character strength . As such, it is an essential component of moral character that is manifested in modesty, being empathetic, acknowledging and respecting others at a deeper level, and accurately understanding as well as owning our limitations (Harvey & Pauwels, 2004).

As a character strength, humility can be viewed as the opposite of pride, arrogance, and an inflated sense of our importance and talents. It is based on a fundamentally caring and compassionate attitude toward others.

Finally, we may also think of humility as a specific mindset. After all, it is a crucial aspect of what Carol Dweck (2006) has described as the “growth mindset.”

In Dweck’s framework, humility entails not just admitting our shortcomings, but actively seeking to overcome them. It is about a general readiness to learn best practices from others and learn from our failures (see also Syed, 2015).

Humility is, therefore, intricately related to learning and teachability – a way of being that embraces constant self-correction and self-improvement.

essay on humility makes us real

A humble mindset has significant positive effects on our cognitive, interpersonal, and decision-making skills . Humility is directly related to our ability and willingness to learn. Humble people are better learners and problem solvers.

Humble students who are genuinely open to feedback often overtake their naturally more talented peers who think so highly of their own abilities that they reject all advice. Some studies have found that humility is more important as a predictive performance indicator than IQ (Owens, Johnson, & Mitchell, 2013; Krumrei-Manusco, Haggard, LaBouff, & Rowatt, 2019).

Humility in our leaders, moreover, fosters trust, engagement, creative strategic thinking, and generally boosts performance (Rego et al., 2017; Ou, Waldman, & Peterson, 2020; Cojuharenco & Karelaia, 2020). Humility is also related to a general increase in positive emotions. Moreover, humility fosters self-forgiveness (Onody et al., 2020).

Besides, there are indications that humility strengthens various social functions and bonds. As a consequence of experiencing less stress and fewer negative experiences with others, humility might be related not just to better mental health, but also better physical health (Worthington et al., 2017, p. 7).

Last but not least, a lack of cultural humility is associated with xenophobia, the fear and hatred of foreigners. Humility, by contrast, is associated with xenophilia, an attraction to foreign cultures.

Those of us who lack cultural humility are more prone to make assumptions about others, feel superior to them, and dramatically overvalue our knowledge and talents in comparison to others (Hook, Davis, Owen, Worthington, & Utsey, 2013; Barbarino & Stürmer, 2016).

essay on humility makes us real

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A famous trio of truly humble people are Gandhi , Nelson Mandela , and Mother Teresa . All of them heroically dedicated their energies and time to serving their ideals and tirelessly working to improve the living conditions for other people.

Yet they remained modest and unpretentious about their astounding achievements and never tied them to their own personalities. They humbly served not their egos, but instead a greater external cause.

We can see many examples of personalities who lack humility by turning to the world of fiction and television. For instance, you might remember the spoiled and over-indulged Veruca Salt from the famous tale of Charlie and The Chocolate Factory.

The child of affluent parents, Salt stands in stark contrast to the story’s protagonist, believing she is without fault and entitled to anything she wants. This lack of humility comes at a price when she is whisked away down a garbage chute that judges her to be a “bad egg.”

Another example is Joffrey Baratheon from Game of Thrones. The character of Joffrey is known for his narcissistic entitlement, vastly inflated sense of his talents, and desire to dominate–all traits negatively correlated with humility (Worthington et al., 2017, p. 7).

Joffrey shows little sympathy or concern for other characters throughout the story, including his own wife, Sansa, whom he treats with severe cruelty. It is little wonder audiences around the world celebrated when he was poisoned and died in Season 4, putting an end to his reign of tyranny.

how to practice humility

We need to begin by developing an accurate understanding of our strengths and weaknesses .

Then we must own our imperfections . When we do, we no longer have to waste our energy hiding them from others, but can instead seek to learn to live with them productively or even to overcome them.

Paradoxically, a stubbornly low opinion of ourselves is also in contradiction to a humble view of ourselves. Extremely low self-esteem , just as a narcissistic overvaluation of our talents, lacks accuracy. It is just an inverted form of self-obsession, another way of fixating on ourselves rather than directing our attention toward others.

Although we are the subject in our world, we must remember that we are an object in everybody else’s. We are not the center of the universe. This includes adjusting our perspective . Our woes and desires become ever more insignificant the more we step back from them and consider the bigger picture. Our time on this planet is limited. Our works and achievements are transient.

We are all parts of structures that are larger than ourselves – couples, families, communities, nations, the organizations for which we work, the human species. We should never forget the many teams of which we are a part – small and large. Sometimes, it is apt to privilege the needs of our teams over our individual desires.

We must stay curious and open to learning. We can learn from anyone and everything at all times. We can learn from friends and family, our children, and people who master specific skills.

We have much to learn from other cultures and our ancestors. We can learn precious lessons from animals and even plants.

Humor is a powerful tool. We can all benefit from laughing more about ourselves and our imperfections.

essay on humility makes us real

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3 Exercises for Fostering Humility

Exercises that hone gratitude and appreciation can boost a humble state of mind. A great starting point is PositivePsychology.com’s Expressing Gratitude To Others worksheet. It invites us to value our important relationships with others. It encourages us to think about the people who have influenced us most positively in our lives, truly appreciate their contribution, and demonstrate our gratitude.

Another classic exercise is the Gratitude Journal exercise. This exercise asks us to write down the things and people that we are thankful for, which triggers reflection on them at the end of each day.

Gratitude Gifts  is an activity for children that aims to help them generate a more grateful mindset.

Finally, we have much to learn from the Romantics. They held nature in the highest esteem. They knew it as an awe-inspiring force, a manifestation of the sublime that reminds us of our relative insignificance in the greater scheme of things.

Nature has curative powers. It can put us back in our place. We can experience a powerfully self-importance-correcting sense of awe by looking out to sea, peering down the edges of dramatic cliffs, touching the ancient trunks of towering trees, and viewing waterfalls, fast-flowing rivers, and still, deep ponds.

We can feel humbled when we are reminded of the force of the elements – battered by strong winds, drenched by the heavens – or when we see zigzagging lightning light up the night sky.

teaching kids humility

Children learn by copying .

The most effective way to teach children humility is by modeling it ourselves. We can show them what humility looks like in action daily.

While seeking to foster healthy self-esteem, we should not over-inflate children’s sense of importance . And nor should we twist their view of their own talents. This is a very tricky balance to strike.

We can approximate this ideal by trying to praise effort over results and by fostering a growth mindset (Dweck, 2006). This includes honing children’s ability to learn from failure and teaching them to see failure as a natural part of any meaningful learning process.

We can show children other ways of seeing the world and thinking about things. Our best tools are books, films, and works of art. By exposing them to radically different world views and talking about the discrepancies they notice with an open mind, we can alert them to the fact that their way of viewing the world is not the only one. And nor is ours.

We, too, can learn much from children in turn and should tell them so when we do.

Finally, gratitude exercises work with children, too. We can, for starters, simply ask them to name one thing for which they have been particularly grateful today.

Jim Collins, in Good to Great (2001), has demonstrated that the most outstanding leaders are also the most humble. The best leaders combine professional will with personal humility. They are often “ self-effacing, quiet, reserved, even shy ” – always privileging the institutions they serve over their egos (Collins, 2001, p. 12).

These leaders believe in human development. They do not crave credit, nor do they constantly need to show how great they are or undermine others to feel powerful. They are instead relentlessly trying to improve and learn from their failures. By modeling humility, they create a humble working culture in their organizations.

Bradley Owens says that humble leaders are essentially self-transcendent. Humble leaders “ have successfully tempered or tamed the ego and embraced a leadership perspective that seeks to elevate everyone ” (Aten, 2019). They are teachable, eager to learn, willing to see themselves accurately, and able to praise those around them. They foster in their workforce hope, efficacy, resilience, and optimism (Owens, Yam, Bednar, Mao, & Hart, 2019).

Humble leaders, moreover “ are more likely to see failure as just a part of the developmental process. Since humble leaders don’t try to keep up appearances or power postures, it is less distressing and thus easier to recover when things don’t go well ” (Aten, 2019).

humility in relationships

Worthington et al. (2017) define relational humility as our “ ability and capacity to prioritize the needs of the relationship. It requires being sympathetic to the other person in the relationship and seeking to consider his or her fundamental needs ,” as well as “ shaping our behavior to elevate the other person’s agenda .”

Humility in relationships can be transformational when we move beyond our selfish preferences and consider not just our partner’s wellbeing, but the wellbeing of the partnership. Relationship humility builds trust, commitment, and persistence (Worthington et al., 2017, p. 12).

essay on humility makes us real

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Use these 17 Strength-Finding Exercises [PDF] to help others discover and leverage their unique strengths in life, promoting enhanced performance and flourishing.

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2 Books On The Topic

Find two suggestions for in-deth reflection on the topic of humility.

The Handbook of Humility: Theory, Research, and Applications

Handbook of Humility

It features a very readable introduction and epilogue that provide a fine overview of the growing field of humility research and its main findings so far, as well as numerous chapters on specific features of and perspectives on humility.

Available on Amazon .

The Routledge Handbook of Philosophy of Humility

The Routledge Handbook of Philosophy of Humility

It covers theories, ethics, psychology, and politics of humility, as well as humility in religious thought.

The ancient virtue of humility is experiencing a long-overdue revival. Not only has humility research proliferated in the past years, but there is a mounting body of evidence that demonstrates just how vital humility is for all of us. It is closely correlated with learning, outstanding leadership, various prosocial behaviors, and our ability to forge deeper bonds with others.

Humility has the potential to be a panacea for many of our most pressing political problems, as well as for global environmental challenges. Last but by no means least, humility is also merely a highly likable trait. We are much more attracted to those who are not self-centered, arrogant, pretentious, or greedy. These tendencies have become all too common in recent decades, but the tide is turning.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Strengths Exercises for free .

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  • Aten, J. D. (2019, February 26) How humble leaders foster resilience: An interview with Dr. Bradley Owens on the value of humility. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hope-resilience/201902/how-humble-leaders-foster-resilience
  • Barbarino, M. L., & Stürmer, S. (2016). Different origins of xenophile and xenophobic orientations in human personality structure: A theoretical perspective and some preliminary findings. Journal of Social Issues , 72 , 432–449.
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  • Collins, J. (2001).  Good to great: Why some companies make the leap—and others don’t. Random House Business.
  • Davis, D., Rice, K., McElroy-Heltzel, S., Deblaere, C., Choe, E., Van Tongeren, D., & Hook, J. (2015). Distinguishing intellectual humility and general humility. The Journal of Positive Psychology , 11 , 1–10.
  • Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: Changing the way you think to fulfill your potential . London, UK: Robinson.
  • Harvey, J. H., & Pauwels, B. G. (2004). Modesty, humility, character strength, and positive psychology. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology , 23 , 620–623.
  • Hazlett, A. (2012). Higher-order epistemic attitudes and intellectual humility. Episteme , 9 , 205–223.
  • Hill, P., & Laney, E. K. (2016). Beyond self-interest: Humility and the quieted self, In K. W. Brown & M. R. Leary (Eds.) The Oxford handbook of hypo-egoic phenomena. Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press.
  • Hook, J. N., Davis, D. E., Owen, J., Worthington, E. L., & Utsey, S. O. (2013). Cultural humility: Measuring openness to culturally diverse clients. Journal of Counseling Psychology , 60 (3), 353–366.
  • Kesebir, P. (2014). A quiet ego quiets death anxiety: Humility as an existential anxiety buffer. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , 106 (4), 610–623.
  • Krumrei-Mancuso, E. J., Haggard, M. C., LaBouff, J. P., & Rowatt, W. C. (2019). Links between intellectual humility and acquiring knowledge. The Journal of Positive Psychology , 155–170.
  • Onody, A. P., Woodyatt, L., Wenzel, M., Cibich, M., Sheldon, A., & Cornish, M. A. (2020). Humility and its relationship to self-condemnation, defensiveness and self-forgiveness following interpersonal transgressions. Journal of Psychology and Theology , 48 (2), 118–130.
  • Ou, A. Y., Waldman, D. A., & Peterson, S. J. (2018). Do humble CEOs matter? An examination of CEO humility and firm outcomes. Journal of Management , 44 (3), 1147–1173.
  • Owens, B. P., Yam, K. C., Bednar, J. S., Mao, J., & Hart, D. W. (2019). The impact of leader moral humility on follower moral self-efficacy and behavior. The Journal of Applied Psychology , 104 (1), 146–163.
  • Owens B. P., Johnson, M. D., & Mitchell, T. R. (2013). Expressed humility in organizations: Implications for performance, teams, and leadership. Organization Science , 24 (5), 1517–1538.
  • Rego, A., Owens, B., Leal, S., Melo, A., Cunha, M., Gonçalves, L., & Ribeiro, P. (2017). How leader humility helps teams to be humbler, psychologically stronger, and more effective: A moderated mediation model. The Leadership Quarterly , 28 , 639–658.
  • Robson, D. (2020, June 1). Is this the secret of smart leadership?  BBC . Retrieved June 3, 2020, from https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20200528-is-this-the-secret-of-smart-leadership
  • Syed, M. (2015). Black box thinking: Marginal gains and the secrets of high performance . London, UK: John Murray.
  • Tangney, J. P. (2009). Humility, In S. J. Lopez & C. R. Snyder. (Eds.) Handbook of positive psychology ( pp. 411–419). Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press,
  • Twenge, J. M., and Campbell, W. K. (2009). The narcissism epidemic: Living in the age of entitlement . New York and London: Atria.
  • Worthington, Jr., E., Davis, D., & Hook, J. (Eds.) (2017). Handbook of humility: Theory, research, and applications. New York, NY: Routledge.

Dr. Anna Schaffner

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What our readers think.

Ludwig Pisapia

Humility presumes that somethings are more important than self. This is absurd…nothing at all in the Universe is more important than self. Without self, there is no individual autonomy…that is…a so called humble person is attacking the core freedom implicit in the dignity and value of every individual person. Liberty, freedom and self directed human creativity is destroyed with the corrosive effects of the embrace of humility as a virtue.

Laura

I thought that this article was extremely insightful, well written, fair and balanced. I really believe that it is quite accurate. I enjoyed it very much. Interesting when you applied it to the day and age that we are living in. Regards, Laura

laszlo bagu

Medieval knights went to chapel before each crusade and epic battle. The Pope is required to spend time in ‘The Room of Tears’ before his 1st ever speech from the balcony. Why? Humility is a powerful natural asset that can always use some refining or a refresher course. Tell me about it. Before any epic journey or life change a little reacquaintance with humility is always a good idea. It lets you regain perspective. I intend to quit smoking after a 40-pack/year habit. That’s why I spend a lot of time scrounging around for cigarette butts to smoke instead of actually buying a pack. It’s gross, disgusting, and smelly, which was exactly what I needed to stay on track. Hopefully it will work.

Lawrence Trasciatti

Your claim about Christian humility is grossly unfair and unacceptable. It has nothing to do with shame or self~abnegation. Rejection of sin is a very healthy aspect of humility

Marolyne Nganyi

I have been blessed by this articel so much that I thank God, especially from Wendy above. I pray that God enables this virtue in me and my family.

Noria Alobaydi

Thank you very much, wish you all the best !

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Brett & Kate McKay • May 25, 2008 • Last updated: September 25, 2021

The Virtuous Life: Humility

This is the 13th post on living the virtuous life like Benjamin Franklin .

Hector achilles illustration.

Our popular image of manliness usually consists of a man with a cocky swagger, a rebel who blazes his own path and stands confident and ready to take on the world. “Humility” doesn’t seem to fit into this image. Humility oftentimes conjures up images of weakness, submissiveness, and fear. But this is a false idea of humility. Real humility is a sign of strength, authentic confidence, and courage. It is the mark of a true man.

The Hubris of Achilles

The ancient Greeks often wrote about the importance of humility. A reoccurring theme throughout their literature was the shameful, often fatal effects of hubris-excessive, arrogant pride. For the Greeks, hubris meant thinking you were wise when you were not. One story that drives home the importance of manly humility is Homer’s The Iliad .

Throughout The Iliad , we find young Achilles, the invincible Greek soldier, sitting in his tent pouting because King Agamemnon took his slave woman. All the while, Achilles’ countrymen are dying at the hands of the Trojans. Even when Agamemnon apologizes and gives back the woman in hopes that Achilles will start fighting, Achilles still acts like a little bitch and refuses to do so. In fact, he starts to pack up to head back to Greece. He demonstrates a complete lack of humility. While his comrades perish, he seeks to save his own skin because of an inflated sense of self-importance and his arrogant pride.

This pride then results in the great Trojan, Hector, killing Achilles’ friend. It is only then, after it has become too late, that Achilles decides to fight. Even so, it isn’t even for his country; he is motivated by the pull of revenge. After Achilles kills Hector in battle, in an act of complete dishonor, Achilles ties up Hector’s body to a chariot and drags it around the walls of Troy for nine days.

While many today think of Achilles as a hero, to the ancient Greeks he embodied the shameful consequence of hubris. While they admired his legendary fighting ability, the real lesson they took from his story was the need to be humble.

What is humility?

The definition of humility need not include timidity or becoming a wallflower. Instead, humility simply requires a man to think of his abilities and his actions as no greater, and no lesser, than they really are. Real humility then mandates that a man knows and is completely honest with himself. He honestly assesses what are, and to what magnitude he possess talents and gifts, struggles and weaknesses.

Humility is the absence of pride. We are taught to think pride is a good thing. But pride functions only when comparing others to yourself. Don’t base your self-worth on how you stack up to others. Instead, focus on yourself and how you can improve. C.S. Lewis said the following about pride:

The point is that each person’s pride is in competition with everyone else’s pride. It is because I wanted to be the big noise at the party that I am so annoyed at someone else being the big noise. Two of a trade never agree. Now what you want to get clear is that Pride is essentially competitive-is competitive by its very nature-while the other vices are competitive only, so to speak, by accident. Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. We say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good-looking, but they are not. They are proud of being richer, or cleverer, or better-looking than others. If everyone else became equally rich, or clever, or good-looking, there would be nothing to be proud about. It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone.

What humility is not

In their quest to be humble, people often confuse humility with false modesty. I think we’ve all been guilty of this at one time or another. When we are recognized for a great accomplishment, we act as though what we did really wasn’t that important or that big of a deal. For example, we spend many hours meticulously putting together an excellent presentation for work, and when people praise us we say, “Oh, it was just something I threw together.” We have a tendency to devalue what we’ve done under the pretense of humility. In fact, people often take on the guise of false humility for the sake of receiving more praise and adulation from others. You want people to think “Wow, he said he just threw that together! Imagine what he could do if he had spent hours on it.” When you do something well, don’t toot your own horn excessively, but truthfully acknowledge what you accomplished.

How to practice humility

Give credit where credit is due. The prideful man will take as much credit for a success as he possibly can. The humble man seeks to shine the light on all the other people and strokes of luck that came together to make that success happen. No man rises on the strength of his bootstraps alone. Innate talent, a supportive family member, friend, teacher or coach, and lucky breaks always contribute somewhere down the line.

Don’t name/experience drop. Have you ever been in a conversation with a man who felt it necessary to interject how he’s been to Europe twice, got a 4.0 in college, dines frequently at pricey restaurants, or knows a famous author, at points in the conversation where such tidbits of information didn’t belong? These people are completely annoying and are basically trying let others know how great they are. Their exaggerated sense of self-importance leads them to demand the lion’s share of attention. These men are clearly insecure; they do not think they can win the interest of others without frontloading all of their attention grabbers. A humble man can hold back on sharing his strengths. He understands that others have equally important and interesting stories to share, and his turn will come.

Do what’s expected, but don’t make a big deal about it. My grandparent’s generation understood the idea of fulfilling your duty. In his book, The Greatest Generation , Tom Brokaw made this observation:

The World War II generation did what was expected of them. But they never talked about it. It was part of the Code. There’s no more telling metaphor than a guy in a football game who does what’s expected of him — makes an open-field tackle — then gets up and dances around. When Jerry Kramer threw the block that won the Ice Bowl in ’67, he just got up and walked off the field.

Why don’t we take a lesson from our grandfathers? Do something because you’re supposed to do it, have a little humility, and shut the hell up about it.

Perform service and charity anonymously. Prideful men want everyone to know when they do a charitable act. They drop the amount of money they donated to a cause into conversation, they post pictures of their service to Facebook, and they never miss a chance to remind someone they served of their generosity towards them. They are obviously doing service for the wrong reason: to stoke their ego and gain acclamation. Real charity is not self-seeking and is done solely for the benefit of others. Next time you do something nice, try keeping it completely to yourself. It’s a tough test of your manly humility.

Stop one-upping people. Few things are more annoying than a man who must constantly one-up others during conversation. You say, “I once went to a Rolling Stones concert.” He says, “I once had backstage passes to a Rolling Stones concert.” Whatever someone says, the one-upper must do him one better. Resist the urge to take part in these pissing contests. You usually end up with pee on your shoe anyway. If you notice someone who wants to engage in this show of one-upmanship, be the better man and let him have his moment of glory. People may talk about that guy’s exciting story the next day, but they’ll remember how much of a gentleman you are years later.

Related Posts

A virtuous portrait of Benjamin Franklin.

The Importance of Humility

Humility

Humility is an underrated quality that isn’t touched upon often. It is something mentioned heavily in religious texts, and it may seem a little old-fashioned, but it’s a quality that is wholly necessary in this day and age.

Humility is in fact, one of the most powerful and important attributes of growth, both in and out of the ring. Being humble helps to build trust and facilitates learning, which are key aspects of leadership and personal development.

As the revolutionary Nelson Mandela once said “The first thing is to be honest with yourself. You can never have an impact on society if you have not changed yourself… Great peacemakers are all people of integrity, of honesty, but humility.”

Let’s talk about the meaning of humility, how you can develop it, and how it can improve your performance both in and out of the ring.

What is Humility?

The definition of humility is the feeling or attitude that you have no special importance that makes you better than others or having a lack of pride. At first glance, humility seems like a negative quality, almost like a sign of weakness rather than a strength. In reality, humility is a type of modesty that will get you very far in your life as a person, a contender, and a leader. Let’s look at it another way. A person who lacks humility is arrogant. It is a person who only thinks of themselves and sees themselves as higher and better than others. There is no room for an arrogant person to improve themselves because they do not recognize their flaws. A person who is not humble does not have a growth mindset . The best fighter in the world still makes mistakes. The best coach in the world still has much to learn about the fight, and should always carry out their duties as not only a teacher but a student as well. When a contender or a trainer lacks the ability to see their own weaknesses, they will never be able to reach their full potential, because life is a never-ending journey of growth and learning. Pride robs a person of their ability to achieve.

Why Do We Need Humility?

Humble people don't lack pride in their accomplishments. Rather, it is knowing the time, place, and tone with which to share their strengths with the world.

Here are some examples of what it means to live with modesty and humbleness.

  • Saying “good match” to your opponent, whether you’ve won or lost.
  • Being coachable and allowing criticism to fuel development rather than resentment.
  • Apologizing after making a mistake.
  • Wanting the best for others rather than trying to harbor all success for yourself.
  • Helping others who are below you in skill to improve rather than looking down on them.
  • Looking towards those above you with an eye of inspiration and not jealousy.
  • Competing with yourself more so than with others.

Humility is an asset for self-improvement. By living a humble life, you recognize the areas of your life that need work. If your coach suggests changing a technique to aid your performance in the ring, you must accept that your current technique may not be the best suited for your goals. That comes with letting go of your preconceived notions and trusting your coach. Only with humility and emotional intelligence can you allow these encounters to fuel your growth and coachability.

We also need humility for inner well-being. Becoming frustrated and angry at failure comes with any struggle in life. It’s important we understand humility to be able to better navigate those losses and pick ourselves up after the falls. It might sound counter-intuitive, but the more humble you are the more resilient you can be. If you can admit and recognize your part in the downfall you can work towards changing it. If you combine humility with your passion in life, you’ll rise to the top and overcome failure.

5 Key Steps to Becoming More Humble

It’s clear how important a modest mindset is in achieving our goals. The next step is to learn how to build that mindset because it doesn’t always come naturally.

Here are five steps to developing humility.

1. Build Confidence

Confidence is the key to living a full life. And yes, a humble person can still be confident. Remember, humbleness is not about only seeing your weaknesses, but it’s about recognizing your strengths, but not stopping there. It’s about using those assets to become bigger and better.

There are many things you can do to build your confidence. Try some easy tricks such as dressing up each morning, even if you’re not planning on going anywhere. The thought of looking great has a profound effect on our confidence!

Take time to reflect on your accomplishments at the end of each day and remember, success is a series of small wins.

2. Ask Questions

Humble people know that asking questions doesn't make you weak. If anything, asking questions makes you a stronger person, both mentally and physically. Show your coach your willingness to learn and make them see that you are really trying. When learning something new, it takes time for understanding to develop. Asking questions can help this process along.

Think back to your school years. What if you never asked questions then? Remember that you can only succeed if you seek the motivation to do so. If there’s something you don’t understand about your training plan, ask your coach to explain in another way or demonstrate. Being afraid to ask for guidance could limit you from achieving your goals.

3. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Anyone who has experience in leadership knows that your comfort zone is a safe place where nothing interesting ever happens. Gloveworx owner Leyon Azubuike said it best himself, "You must become comfortable with being uncomfortable, that is when you Become Unstoppable."

No one’s going to believe you’re a boxer if you don’t step out of your comfort zone. Try something new every now and again; you’ll thank yourself later. What’s on your bucket list? Skydiving? Traveling somewhere new? Meeting new people?

Many of these things are most likely out of your comfort zone, yet you still want to do them. Try something new every day, such as a yoga class or visiting an art gallery. You might learn something about yourself that you never knew before!

4. Remember Your Goals

Why are you training? Remind yourself every morning why you’re doing what you do, and how you can achieve your goals. Doing so just might make you understand the importance of what you’re doing, help you meet your goals, and help you inspire others to pursue their passion.

Try writing down your goals in a journal, and read it every morning after waking up. That way, they’re stuck in your head all day. Be sure to practice SMART goal-setting for personal growth and success.

5. Reflect on Your Behavior

If you act unfavorably, it will reflect back on your training, not to mention your lifestyle choices. Keeping a positive mindset can help you gain and maintain humility.

One of the most successful methods to reflect on your behavior is by writing in a journal alongside your goals. Is your behavior helping you you reach those goals or leading you away from them? By documenting what went well and what didn’t during your training, you can learn from your actions. Here are some things to consider when reflecting upon your behavior:

Strengths and Weaknesses

It's important to focus on the positive and remind yourself of your strengths. What did you do well today? How can you continue to improve? Having pride in your accomplishments doesn't negate the fact that there's always room for growth.

Additionally, it's important to take a look at your weaknesses, because everyone has them. What do you need to work on? Is there something that you're not understanding that you need to ask questions about? What are you doing wrong? If you acknowledge your weaknesses and view them as an opportunity to learn, you can cultivate personal growth.

Changing Beliefs

Engaging in pursuing your goals, especially those pertaining to physical activity, can start to change your beliefs. Write down your ideas and pay attention to how your way of thinking changes over time. Think critically about the reasons for these changes.

Role Models

In our culture, those who we perceive as great are often put on a pedestal. That's why it's so important to be a humble leader; ego has no role in a place of power. In your journal, write about those in leadership roles that you admire. Then take a deeper dive and determine the reasons behind that admiration. Why do you look up to them? What traits and characteristics do they possess? How can you carry these virtues into your own life?

How Can Humility be Used to Help in the Ring?

Humility is not something we can just achieve; it is so much more than that. We need humility to become better people. Therefore, humility is a construct of human behavior. If your coach teaches you something new that you struggle with, remember that you’re only doing your best – and practice makes perfect. As mentioned before, behavior in the ring reflects humility. Keep a positive attitude and make sure you thank your coach after every session.

Remember to Stay Humble!

Humility begins with accepting who we are and what makes us human. As a result of this, you gain control over your attitude and outlook on life. As A.L. Kennedy puts it, “Have more humility. Remember you don't know the limits of your own abilities. Successful or not, if you keep pushing beyond yourself, you will enrich your own life--and maybe even please a few strangers.”

Being humble is an important life skill. With it, we can choose to live a happier life. Ready to try something new, and work towards a happier, more humble livelihood? Book a session with Gloveworx today!

View this post on Instagram Weekend warriors—you do you, we’re over here rooting for you. #getinthering #becomeunstoppable A post shared by Gloveworx (@gloveworx) on Mar 14, 2020 at 9:02am PDT

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Importance Of Humility In Professional Life

Famous British poet Alfred Tennyson described humility as “the highest virtue, the mother of them all”. Philosophers, great thinkers, sociologists,…

Importance Of Humility In Professional Life

Famous British poet Alfred Tennyson described humility as “the highest virtue, the mother of them all”.

Philosophers, great thinkers, sociologists, and preachers across regions and religions have always placed emphasis on humility as a virtue. As children, we were taught about the importance of having humility and kindness.

Indeed, being humble and kind never goes unnoticed and can have many long-term benefits.

The meaning of humility

Humility is the absence of pride and the ability to be down-to-earth and modest under all circumstances. Humility is exhibited by respectful behavior towards others. A humble person doesn’t think they are superior to others and is devoid of arrogance and self-praise.

Also, a humble person won’t seek favors in return for their support. Helping others and showing compassion comes naturally to them.

To be humble is also to be compassionate.

Let’s look at an example.

Rajiv, a manager in a hotel, is extremely popular at work. All his co-workers, from the upper management to the housekeeping staff, speak highly of him. He is punctual and always interacts with everyone with compassion and respect. Whether it is a colleague needing extra help with his work, personal advice, or new initiatives, Rajiv is fondly regarded as the go-to person.

At the same time, he is absolutely sincere about his professional responsibilities. He delivers consistently and proactively contributes to the organization’s growth. Rajiv’s humility has been instrumental in his success. His popularity can be attributed to his humility, and his humility is not in anticipation of favors from the people he helps, but is a way of life for him.

Another key aspect of being humble is the lack of prejudice in action. A humble person will help everyone, irrespective of whether the person is a close relation or a complete stranger. For instance, a humble person would allow an old woman standing behind them in a queue to proceed before them even though she may be a complete stranger.

Why does humility matter?

Humility, kindness, or gentle behavior are traits that are often considered old-fashioned. The hustle and bustle of our daily lives make us forget about these virtues.

But humility is relevant even today.

People don’t accord due importance to humility these days simply because the modern lifestyle doesn’t really instill trust among people. The common advice is to be careful and keep an eye on your rivals. This point of view supports the theory that one has to adopt a “no-ground-conceded” approach in dealing with others.

Self-praise and a stubborn attitude are commonly seen as essential to achieving life goals. All this is in contrast with the principle of humility. However, having humility doesn’t mean being timid or letting others trample over you. Being humble doesn’t imply that you become subservient or fail to assert yourself when needed.

In simpler terms, humility is giving respect and being dignified in your social behavior.

Let’s look at another example.

John is a brilliant student. His teachers, fellow students, and neighbors admire him for his helping nature and soft-spoken manners.

However, John is constantly bullied at school and at the local playground by Robin and his friends. They perceive John’s politeness and lack of aggression to be his weaknesses. Do you think John is a good example of humility and compassion?

No. Humility doesn’t discourage you from standing up for yourself or others who are being wronged. It is just a calm and objective way of expressing yourself without hostility.

A humble person can be assertive wherever needed. You don’t necessarily need to shout, shove, or swear to communicate your position on any matter. By being humble, you are merely acknowledging other people’s rights and allowing them to put their points of view across.

The importance of humility

Just because humility is primarily about being kind, generous, and polite, it is grossly under-rated in modern society. However, today’s strife-torn world and high-paced social and corporate lives can benefit the most from humility.

Being humble makes you more likeable and trustworthy, and it is conducive to learning. These are also traits that great personalities and leaders display. Legendary South African leader Nelson Mandela had once said, “Great peacemakers are all people of integrity, of honesty, but humility.”

Thus, humility has some profoundly transformational benefits that lead to great personal success and growth. Let’s take a look at some of these benefits:

In sport, some players perform their best at crucial junctures. The ability to turn a game on its head by displaying sheer brilliance are often hallmarks of a great player.

Ronaldo’s bicycle kicks, Roger Federer’s longevity, or Rahul Dravid’s wall-like defense are all examples of sporting brilliance.

Similarly, some business leaders are adept at innovation and cracking deals. Have you ever wondered what makes them do all this with such consistency?

The answer lies in their confidence. They believe in their ability to carry out their plans.

Confidence is the key to success. It helps you improve your performance, alleviate pressure, and stay focused. However, there is a fine line between confidence and overconfidence. When someone starts believing that she is the most powerful, capable, and intelligent person around, complacency begins to take over.

In other words, when one loses humility, she becomes overconfident and eventually an undesirable person. Hence, confidence and humility go hand-in-hand; they are not opposing traits.

By being ready to admit that you can be wrong at times, you don’t lose anything. Rather, you earn the trust of others and empower them to provide valuable inputs. This way you are not only able to get feedback which can help you become better at what you do but can also make others feel valued at the same time.

Superior self-regulation

Humble people are not only more polite and considerate, but they also have stronger self-control as they know what they are doing at all times.

A humble person focuses on achieving personal goals and organizational targets,. Humility makes people better learners and thinkers. Humble people are capable of making decisions with greater agility and accuracy than others.

A humble person will not give in to the pressure. She will analyze the circumstances and focus on finding the best way forward for herself and others. Such an approach makes humble people know the extent of their capabilities and act accordingly.

Helpful nature

A humble person is more likely to help others. Humble people do not cultivate an ego or remain guarded in their behavior. They are better team players. For them, success is not just about self-growth, but the growth of others as well.

Factors like social status, financial wellness, physical strength, or appearance don’t affect their behavior with others. They remain down-to-earth, modest, polite, and calm, even when they achieve great things in life.

Being rich, strong, or supremely talented are not the actual traits that make a person popular among colleagues, family, friends, and acquaintances. What makes someone stand out is their humility. A humble person comes across as a doer. They don’t like to be boastful about their abilities and instead keep a low profile.

This makes the person more relatable and reliable. They earn the trust and respect of their peers by virtue of their behavior and are not entitled.

Humility or being humble is a great virtue but is often misunderstood and mistaken to be a weakness.

Humility amplifies certain qualities. It brings to the fore abilities such as reliability, magnanimity, and generosity. It makes you kind and compassionate and helps in improving your social standing.

Harappa Education’s courses continuously endeavor to improve your interpersonal skills at the workplace to ensure your all-round growth. The Practicing Excellence  course is focused on employees’ personal growth.

It will not only make you a highly respected and desirable person but will also contribute tremendously to your self-awareness and 360-degree growth.

Discover our Harappa Diaries section to know more about topics related to the Lead habit such as Anger Management and the Meaning of Resilience .

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The Blueprint by Douglas R. Conant

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“Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real.” — Thomas Merton, American theologian

Bill George, whom you met briefly in the “Purpose” chapter, is a leader I admire greatly. Like me, he is a former Fortune 500 CEO who, instead of retiring after his adventures in the C-suite, has felt called to share his leadership experience and insight with the world. He is the leading expert on the subject of “authentic leadership,” having written the definitive book on the topic, True North. True to his character, when interviewed for this book, he balked at the characterization of his expertise, humbly protesting, “I wouldn’t call myself an ‘expert’ in anything.” His résumé makes a case to the contrary. He is a senior fellow at Harvard Business School, where he has taught leadership since 2004, imparting the many lessons he learned in his illustrious leadership career, including serving as chairman and CEO of Medtronic for over a decade, before which he was in senior leadership positions at Honeywell for many years.

Like that of most people, Bill’s journey to where he is now – successful, fulfilled, comfortable in who he is, and committed to giving back – was not a straight line. He had to take some knocks and face some uncomfortable truths along the way. But those knocks have fortified his leadership perspective, and amplified his ability to connect with people in a humble way.

In his 40s, Bill was climbing the corporate ladder at Honeywell. His expertise was turnarounds. ...

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essay on humility makes us real

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Humility Essays

Brief description of humility.

Humility is the quality of being modest and respectful, understanding one's limitations and recognizing the contributions of others. It is a virtue that promotes empathy, open-mindedness, and self-improvement. Embracing humility allows individuals to foster harmonious relationships and achieve personal growth.

Importance of Writing Essays on This Topic

Essays on humility are crucial for academic and personal exploration as they encourage critical thinking, self-reflection, and the development of empathy. They offer an opportunity to explore the impact of humility on personal relationships, leadership, and societal harmony. Additionally, writing on this topic promotes a deeper understanding of one's values and beliefs.

Tips on Choosing a Good Topic

  • Reflect on personal experiences: Consider moments where humility played a significant role in your life.
  • Explore societal implications: Investigate how humility influences community dynamics and social justice.
  • Research historical and cultural perspectives: Delve into how humility is valued and practiced in different cultures and time periods.

Essay Topics

  • The role of humility in effective leadership
  • The impact of humility on interpersonal relationships
  • Cultivating humility in a competitive society
  • The connection between humility and emotional intelligence
  • Overcoming pride: A personal reflection on embracing humility
  • The influence of humility on conflict resolution
  • Humility in religious and spiritual traditions
  • The importance of humility in ethical decision-making
  • Humility and success: Exploring the relationship
  • The portrayal of humility in literature and art

Concluding Thought

Essays on humility offer a valuable opportunity for introspection and intellectual exploration. By delving into this topic, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of themselves and their place in the world, ultimately fostering a more empathetic and harmonious society. Embracing humility in writing allows for personal growth and the development of critical thinking skills.

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Definition of a Humble Beast

Humility and values.

Humility is the quality of being humble. Dictionary definitions accentuate humility as a low self-regard and sense of unworthiness. In a religious context humility can mean a recognition of self in relation to a deity (i.e. God) or deities, and subsequent submission to said deity as a member of that religion.

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essay on humility makes us real

Pride and Humility

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“Pride is your greatest enemy, humility is your greatest friend.” So said the late John R.W. Stott, a remarkably humble man of great abilities and accomplishments who is often said to have made the greatest impact for Christ of anyone in the twentieth century. His succinct statement about pride and humility goes straight to the heart of what the Bible teaches about the deadly root of our sins and sorrows.

How many recent sermons have you heard on pride or humility? Probably not many. One hears surprisingly little from church or parachurch leaders about either of these subjects. In fact, what throughout history has been recognized as the deadliest of vices is now almost celebrated as a virtue in our culture. Pride and arrogance are conspicuous among the rich, the powerful, the successful, the famous, and celebrities of all sorts, and even some religious leaders.

And it is also alive and well in ordinary people, including each of us. Yet few of us realize how dangerous it is to our souls and how greatly it hinders our intimacy with God and love for others. Humility, on the other hand, is often seen as weakness, and few of us know much about it or pursue it. For the good of our souls, then, we need to gain a clearer understanding of pride and humility and of how to forsake the one and embrace the other.

essay on humility makes us real

There Lewis said, According to Christian teachers, the essential vice, the utmost evil, is Pride. Unchastity, anger, greed, drunkenness, and all that, are mere flea bites in comparison: it was through Pride that the devil became the devil:

Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind…… it is Pride which has been the chief cause of misery in every nation and every family since the world began. 1

If this sounds like exaggeration, it will help us to know that Lewis is not simply giving us his private opinion but summarizing the thinking of great saints through the ages.

Augustine and Aquinas both taught that pride was the root of sin. 2  Likewise Calvin, Luther, and many others. Make no mistake about it: pride is the great sin. It is the devil’s most effective and destructive tool.

Why do the great spiritual leaders, Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, and Protestant alike, unite around this conviction? Because it is so clearly and solidly taught in Scripture.

Pride first appears in the Bible in Genesis 3, where we see the devil, that “proud spirit” as John Donne described him, using pride as the avenue by which to seduce our first parents. Taking the form of a serpent, his approach was simple yet deadly. First, he arrogantly contradicted what God had said to Eve about eating the forbidden fruit and charged God with lying.

This shocking rejection of God’s word introduced Eve to the hitherto unknown possibility of unbelief and was intended to arouse doubt in her mind about the truthfulness and reliability of God. In the next breath, the devil drew her into deeper deception by contending that God’s reason for lying was to keep her from enjoying all the possibilities inherent in being Godlike. This clever ploy was aimed at undermining her confidence in the goodness and love of God and arousing the desire to become as God.

The desire to lift up and exalt ourselves beyond our place as God’s creature lies at the heart of pride. As Eve in her now confused and deceived state of mind considered the possibilities, her desire to become Godlike grew stronger. She began to look at the forbidden fruit in a new light, as something attractive to the eyes and pleasant to the touch. Desire increased, giving rise to rationalization and a corresponding erosion of the will to resist and say no.

Finally, weakened by unbelief, enticed by pride, and ensnared by self-deception, she opted for autonomy and disobeyed God’s command. In just a few deft moves, the devil was able to use pride to bring about Eve’s downfall and plunge the human race into spiritual ruin. This ancient but all-too-familiar process confronts each of us daily: “Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death” (James 1:14–15).

From this point on in the Bible, we see the outworking of pride and unbelief in the affairs of individuals, families, nations, and cultures. As people lose or suppress the knowledge of God, spiritual darkness grows and a psychological inversion occurs: in their thinking God becomes smaller and they become larger. The center of gravity in their mental lives shifts from God to themselves. They become the center of their world, and God is conveniently moved to the periphery, either through denial of his existence or distortion of his character. Self-importance and godless self-confidence grow stronger. The cycle that follows is familiar: people exalt themselves against God and over others. Pride increases, arrogant and/or abusive behavior ensues, and people suffer.

On a national level, this is writ large in the history of Israel and surrounding nations, especially in the indictments delivered by the prophets of the eight and sixth centuries BC. Blinded by power and the unprecedented affluence of the eighth century, prideful leaders in Israel embraced a corrupted view of God, trusted in their own wisdom and power, oppressed their people, ignored his call to repent, and thereby invited his judgment, which fell with disastrous results.

There are also many biblical examples of pride and its consequences in the lives of individuals, and they offer valuable lessons for our own lives. Often their stories are self-contained in one chapter and make for easy reading. One of the more notable examples from the Old Testament is that of Uzziah, who was a believer. When he became king of Judah at age sixteen, he set his heart to seek God and put himself under the spiritual mentorship of Zechariah. And “as long as he sought the Lord, God made him to prosper” (2 Chron. 26:5). As a result, he acquired wealth and also became politically and militarily powerful. Then things changed. “His fame spread far, for he was marvelously helped, till he was strong. But when he was strong, he grew proud, to his destruction” (26:15–16).

What happened? There are hints in the text that at some point on the road to the top, he stopped seeking the Lord and the spiritual mentoring of Zechariah. This suggests a lessening dependence on God and a growing reliance upon himself and his own strength and wisdom. History shows at every point how easy it is for pride to increase as we become stronger, more successful, more prosperous, and more recognized in our endeavors. In fact, anything, real or imagined, that elevates us above others can be a platform for pride. Ironically, this is true even when these things come as a result of God’s blessings.

As a result of all his blessings, Uzziah, rather than humbling himself in thanksgiving to God, began to think more highly of himself than he should have and developed an exaggerated sense of his own importance and abilities. This pride of heart led to presumption before God and brought very serious consequences upon him, illustrating the biblical warnings that pride leads to disgrace (Prov. 11:2) and that “pride goes before destruction” (Prov. 16:18). I encourage you to read and meditate on Uzziah’s full story in 2 Chronicles 26. The stories of Haman (Esther 3–7) and Nebuchadnezzar (Daniel 4) also offer valuable insights into pride and are well worth reading.

This is evident today in the dangerous pride in some political and business leaders in the West. We have only to look around us at the current state of political life in America to see examples. Pride and arrogance are obvious in many political leaders, whether liberal or conservative, making matters much worse than they need to be. Or consider the business and financial catastrophes we have experienced in recent years. A thoughtful article in the Wall Street Journal after the WorldCom and Enron debacles attributed them to “pride, greed and lack of accountability.” The recent financial crisis in America is yet another example of the same thing. Clearly pride is very dangerous and can produce widespread suffering in society when people in leadership and power are corrupted by it.

Pride also affects religious people. Few people today seem to be aware of the danger of spiritual pride, but spiritual leaders throughout the history of the church have always seen it as a great plague and tool of the devil. Even in times of revival, it is a danger. Commenting on the revival in Northampton, Massachusetts, in 1737, Jonathan Edwards said:

The first and worst cause of errors that abound in our day and age is spiritual pride. This is the main door by which the devil comes into the hearts of those who are zealous for the advancement of Christ. It is the chief inlet of smoke from the bottomless pit to darken the mind and mislead the judgment. Pride is the main handle by which he has hold of Christian persons and the chief source of all the mischief that he introduces to clog and hinder a work of God. Spiritual pride is the main spring or at least the main support of all other errors. Until this disease is cured, medicines are applied in vain to heal all other diseases. 3

An instructive lesson on religious pride from the New Testament is found in the Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector (Luke18:9–14). It is aimed at those “who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and treated others with contempt.” It addresses spiritual pride, an especially subtle and dangerous temptation of religious people and leaders, which has been very much in evidence in recent years.

The well-known story of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector can help us recognize our own spiritual pride. It tells of a much-despised tax collector and a self-righteous Pharisee who went up to the temple to pray. The Pharisee proceeds to commend himself to God because of his careful observance of the law and to look down with scornful contempt on the sinful tax collector. “God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.” Notice in his prayer that his focus is not really on God at all but on how good he is and how bad others are. Here is pride wrapped in the cloak of religion and giving it a bad name. The tax collector is so painfully aware of his sins and unworthiness before God that he cannot even lift his eyes as he stands in the back of the temple, far from the altar. Pounding his breast in sorrowful contrition over his sins, he can manage only the desperate plea, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner.” In the Greek text, it actually reads “ the sinner.” His focus is very much on his own sins, not the sins of others, and especially on his need for God’s mercy. In a surprising reversal of expectation, Jesus says that God answered the tax collector’s prayer, not the Pharisee’s. Then he concludes with his main point: “everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Another lesson on religious pride strikes even closer to home for true believers. If we are inclined to say to ourselves, “Lord, I thank you that I am not like that proud Pharisee,” we should bear in mind that the apostles themselves were infected with pride and disputed with one another about who was the greatest (Luke 22:24–27). Sadly self-promotion, in pursuit of reputation, influence, and “success,” is evident in some ministry leaders even today. But if the apostles had to struggle with it, who are we to think ourselves exempt?

pride and humility

Any neurotic is living a life which in some respects is extreme in its self-centeredness… the region of his misery represents a complete preoccupation with himself. The very nature of the neurotic disorder is tied to pride. If the sufferer is hypersensitive, resentful, captious, he may be indicating a fear that he will not appear to advantage in competitive situations where he wants to show his worth. If he is chronically indecisive, he is showing fear that he may do the wrong thing and be discredited. If he is over-scrupulous and self-critical, he may be endeavoring to show how praiseworthy he really is. Thus, most neuroses, are, from the point of view of religion, mixed with the sin of pride. 4

Much more could be said about pride, but space fails us. Let’s sum up the biblical perspective and move on. Pride can be summarized as an attitude of self-sufficiency, self-importance, and self-exaltation in relation to God. Toward others, it is an attitude of contempt and indifference. As C.S. Lewis observed, “Pride is spiritual cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense” 5  The depth of pride can vary from one person to the next and can be obvious or concealed. In the Old and New Testaments it is a truism that God will not suffer the creature to exalt itself against the Creator. Pride provokes God’s displeasure, and he has committed himself to oppose it.

If your pride causes you to exalt yourself, you are painting a target on your back and inviting God to open fire. And he will. For he has declared his determination to bring it low wherever he finds it, whether among angels or humans, believers or unbelievers. It was pride that caused Lucifer to be cast out of heaven and Adam and Eve to be cast out of Eden. And it is pride that will be our undoing if we tolerate it in our lives. The danger of pride is a sobering reality that each of us needs to ponder. Truly, it is our greatest enemy.

However, chances are good that most of us do not see pride in our lives. For while it is easy to see pride in others, it is very difficult to see it in ourselves. C.S. Lewis observed that “there is no fault which makes a man more unpopular and no fault which we are more unconscious of in ourselves. And the more we have it in ourselves, the more we dislike it in others.” 6  But he does suggest a couple of ways to detect its presence. First, Lewis quoted William Law from chapter fifteen of A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life “there can be no surer proof of a confirmed pride than a belief that one is sufficiently humble.” Also, “if you want to find out how proud you are the easiest way is to ask your self, ‘How much do I dislike it when other people snub me, or refuse to take any notice of me, or shove their oar in, or patronise me, or show off?” 7  Because it is so tricky to recognize, we are perhaps best off to earnestly seek God in prayer and ask him to reveal to us any sinful pride in our lives so we can repent and forsake it. Another step we might take is to ask those who live or work with us if they see significant expressions of sinful pride or arrogance in our life.

There is, of course, a good type of pride. Paul, for example, was proud of the churches he had established. But this was not arrogant or self-exalting pride. He made clear that his accomplishments were the fruit of God’s grace to him and through him (Rom. 15:17–19). Occasionally Paul mentions boasting, but this is a matter of highlighting what God has done by his grace, either through Paul or in those in the churches. It is never self-exalting. These days most of us will say that we are proud of our children or our favorite sports team or perhaps something we have accomplished. In cases like this, we are (one hopes) saying that we are really pleased about something good and are not engaging in the sinful type of pride and arrogance the Bible condemns.

Prayer and Humility

Admittedly, humility and the humbling of oneself is out of fashion in today’s world and seems unappealing to most of us. However, as Jonathan Edwards said, “We must view humility as one of the most essential things that characterizes true Christianity.” Our perspective on humility can be radically changed if we will ponder and meditate on the greatest example of humility in history: Jesus Christ. By the very act of leaving heaven, coming to earth, and taking the form of man, he demonstrated an unfathomable humbling of himself. Throughout his life on earth, Jesus demonstrated a spirit of profound humility, saying that he came “not to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matt. 20:28). On his last night with the disciples, he took a towel and basin and washed their dirty feet (John 13:1–11), instructing them to follow his example of servanthood with one another (John 13:12–17). Andrew Murray captures it well, “Christ is the humility of God embodied in human nature; the Eternal Love humbling itself, clothing itself in the garb of meekness and gentleness, to win and serve and save us.” 8

The apostle Paul may well have been thinking of this very scene in the Upper Room when he urged the believers in Philippi:  Have this mind among yourselves which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross (Phil. 2:5–8).

Paul is here encouraging ordinary believers in a local church, who apparently have some measure of sinful pride in their hearts and relationships, to reflect on and adopt the attitude and actions of Jesus their Lord and follow his example of humility.

The consequences of such an attitude may give us pause. Humbling ourselves could be costly in the workplace, in the community, or in other ways. However, that is a shortsighted, worldly perspective. For the passage continues:

Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father (Phil. 2:9–11).

In Jesus we have the “example of all examples”: those who humble themselves will be exalted! And this is meant to guide our lives in this world. If we will take care of humbling ourselves, we can trust God to take care of exalting us.

How do we gain the mind of Christ and humble ourselves? To put on the mind of Christ, we will need to make a firm decision to ponder, understand, and adopt Jesus’ way of thinking; his values and attitudes must become ours. His strong emphasis on humility and meekness and his example of it must take hold of our thinking, our desires and our conduct. We must admire his humility and want it for ourselves. For this to happen, we need to earnestly and regularly pray for the Holy Spirit to change our hearts, for it is impossible to do it in our own strength. We will also need to understand what Jesus meant when he called men and women to humble themselves. We discover that from the Greek word Jesus and the apostles used, tapeinos, which conveys the idea of having a right view of ourselves before God and others. 9  If pride is an exalted sense of who we are in relation to God and others, humility is having a realistic sense of who we are before God and others. We must not think too highly (or too lowly) of ourselves. Rather, we must be honest and realistic about who and what we are.

Pride and the humble

What is a right view of ourselves? Specifics will vary from person to person, but certain things are common to us all. We are God’s creatures: small, finite, dependent, limited in intelligence and ability, prone to sin, and soon to die and face God’s judgment (Heb. 9:27). But we are also God’s children: created, loved, and redeemed by God’s grace alone, not by anything in or of ourselves; and gifted by God with certain unique gifts, abilities, resources, and advantages, which are to be used for his glory. As Paul reminds the Corinthians, “What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it?” (1 Cor. 4:7). Frequently reminding ourselves of these things is important.

Having a right view of God and ourselves has a profound effect on our relationships with others. As Paul goes on to say in Romans, “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly.” (Rom. 12:16). And as he said to the Philippians, “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Phil. 2:3–4). As we refuse to be preoccupied with ourselves and our own importance and seek to love and serve others, it will reorient us from self-centeredness to other-centeredness—to serving and caring for others just as Jesus did for us. In the narcissistic culture of contemporary America, this is a particularly powerful countercultural witness of Christ’s presence and lordship in our lives.

John Flavel on Pride and Humility

Truly, humility is our greatest friend. It increases our hunger for God’s word and opens our hearts to his Spirit. It leads to intimacy with God, who knows the proud from afar, but dwells with him “who is of a contrite and lowly spirit” (Isa. 57:15). It imparts the aroma of Christ to all whom we encounter. It is a sign of greatness in the kingdom of God (Luke 22:24–27).

Developing the identity, attitude, and conduct of a humble servant does not happen over night. It is rather like peeling an onion: you cut away one layer only to find another beneath it. But it does happen. As we forsake pride and seek to humble ourselves by daily deliberate choices in dependence on the Holy Spirit, humility grows in our souls. Fenelon said it well, “Humility is not a grace that can be acquired in a few months: it is the work of a lifetime.” And it is a grace that is precious in the sight of God, who in due course will exalt all who embrace it.

Notes 1. C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (New York: Simon & Schuster Touchstone edition, 1996), 109, 111. 2. See Augustine, The City of God 14.13; Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica, ques. 84. 3. Jonathan Edwards, The Works of Jonathan Edwards (Edinburgh: Banner of Truth, 1974), 1:398–404. 4. Gordon Allport, quoted in Solomon Schimmel, The Seven Deadly Sins (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1997), 28. 5. Lewis, Mere Christianity, 112. 6. Lewis, Mere Christianity, 109. 7. Lewis, Mere Christianity, 110. 8. Andrew Murray, Humility (Old Tappan, NJ: Fleming H. Revell, nd), 17. 9. Colin Brown, The New International Dictionary of New Testament Theology (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1967), 2:259 .

essay on humility makes us real

Thomas A. Tarrants

essay on humility makes us real

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essay on humility makes us real

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August 13, 2024

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Finding strength in humility.

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One thing they don’t teach in business school is humility.

That was a line I would sometimes drop in my presentations, and it never failed to get a laugh. Everyone it seemed—regardless of whether they had attended b-school or not—knew the kind of self-importance and, yes, arrogance that newly minted graduates might display. Their MBA swagger lasted until they hit their first roadblock at work, and it threw them for a loop. That setback may have been an early lesson in humility.

Today, in our world struggling in the wake of Covid-19, humility is more accepted. We have all been humbled. The world we knew in January 2020 is no more, and the world we are creating is not yet born. There is no certainty in the wake of the virus, economic uncertainty, racial injustice, climate change, and contentious politics. 

Acceptance of reality

Those who accept that reality are demonstrating a sense of humility. That, however, does not mean they are rolling over. Indeed humble people are highly self-aware individuals. They know their strengths and their shortcomings. Author and Catholic monk Thomas Merton wrote, "Pride makes us artificial, and humility makes us real.” 

Yes, humility is a gift of strength. It is an acceptance of one’s humanity—frailty and fragility, but also hope and grace. We know we make mistakes, but we have the grace to forgive ourselves so that we can move forward, not simply for ourselves but those who follow our lead.

Making a difference

“To lead the people,” said  Lao Tzu , “walk behind them.” Humility inspires people to follow, and when they see you behind them, in support of them, they are more inspired.

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A humble leader is content to put others first for two reasons. One, she knows that the real work is done by people who follow a leader’s directives. Two, she is content within herself to recognize her strengths. She echoes the words of Martin Luther, “True humility does not know that it is humble. If it did, it would be proud from the contemplation of so fine a virtue.” 

A friend of mine experienced the benefits of humility firsthand while undergoing surgery to remove a cancerous growth near the side of his nose adjacent to his eye. The removal went fine. But at the time of suturing, the dermatologist asked my friend if he minded her seeking a second opinion on the closing of the wound. My friend thanked her and told me later that four of her colleagues came to view the room. What gratified my friend was the humility his surgeon displayed when asking for the counsel of colleagues. She did not fear that my friend or her colleagues would think less of her. She was only interested in the welfare of her patient.

Humility is a virtue, but there is nothing soft or squishy about it. Humility is forged in adversity and gives us the backbone to continue our journey.

Humility is a virtue, no doubt.

But gaining humility requires more than virtue.

Hard work. Sacrifice. Selflessness.

Humility demands a sublimation of ego, but not of will.

Willpower gives us the strength to step back,

So that others may go forward.

Humility enables us to see the light in others,

Rather than our reflection.

John Baldoni

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Essay on Humility

Students are often asked to write an essay on Humility in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Humility

What is humility.

Humility is when someone knows their strengths and weaknesses and doesn’t act better than others. It’s like being a team player in sports. A humble person is kind and doesn’t brag about what they can do. They treat everyone the same, whether that person is a teacher or a student.

Why Humility Matters

Being humble is important because it helps us learn and grow. When we’re humble, we can listen to others and understand that we don’t know everything. This makes us better friends and students because we’re open to new ideas and help.

Showing Humility

To show humility, you can say “thank you” when someone helps you and admit when you make mistakes. It’s also being happy for others when they do well. Humble people don’t need to be the center of attention; they’re okay with letting others shine too.

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250 Words Essay on Humility

Understanding humility.

Humility is like a special power that does not make a lot of noise but can be felt by everyone. It means you do not brag about what you can do or what you have. Instead, you stay quiet about your talents and let your actions speak for you. People who are humble often think about others before themselves.

Why Being Humble is Good

When you are humble, you are kind to others and you do not act as if you are better than anyone else. This makes people feel good around you and they may want to be your friend. Also, when you make a mistake, being humble helps you to say sorry and learn from it.

Humility at School

At school, humility can help you work well with other students. If you are good at a subject, instead of showing off, you can help your classmates. This way, everyone can do better and feel happy about learning.

How to Practice Humility

To practice humility, you can start by listening more than you talk. When someone else is speaking, give them your full attention. Also, be thankful for what you have and help others without expecting anything back.

In conclusion, humility is not about hiding what you are good at. It is about being kind, listening, and helping others. When you are humble, you make the world a nicer place for everyone.

500 Words Essay on Humility

Being humble is important because it helps us get along with others. When someone is not full of themselves, people enjoy being around them more. Humble people are often seen as kind, and they make friends easily because they treat everyone the same, no matter who they are. This quality is like a magnet that draws people together and builds trust.

In school, humility is very useful. A student who is humble does not show off when they get good grades. Instead, they might help others who are struggling. Humble students also are not afraid to ask for help when they don’t understand something. They know that asking questions is a way to learn, not a sign of weakness.

Humility in Leaders

Good leaders are often humble. They understand that they don’t have all the answers and that they need their team to succeed. Humble leaders give credit to others for their success and take responsibility when things go wrong. This makes people want to work hard for them and share their best ideas.

You can practice humility every day. Try to listen more than you talk. When you do something well, enjoy it but don’t brag. Remember to say “thank you” and “please,” and admit when you make a mistake. Also, try to learn about others and appreciate what makes them special.

Challenges of Being Humble

The rewards of humility.

Humility is a powerful quality. It might seem simple, but it can change the way you see the world and how the world sees you. It’s not about hiding your talents or achievements; it’s about being kind, respectful, and always ready to learn something new. Remember, no matter how much you know, there’s always more to learn, and no one person is the best at everything. That’s the heart of humility.

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Home / Essay Samples / Life / Feature of Character / Humility

Humility Essay Examples

What humility means to me.

What is the driving force of a young individual? What is it that urges them to move forward and look for new challenges and achievements? This is a question that has as many answers as there are people on Planet Earth who would try to...

Humility in Our Society

Values are fundamental in our lives, since they forge our character and personality which help us to be a successful or unsuccessful person. The aristocratic vocation of being discovers value as the only foundation of the identity of "being who is". Values are all things...

Understanding the Concept of Humility

Humility is a word that is often heard but not yet fully understood by many. Misinterpretations about what “humility” is are still present. Some think that humility is the refusal to show everyone the skills and talents one has. It is also thought of as...

What is the Real Importance of Humility in the Life

What is true humility? Literally speaking, it means a modest or low view of one’s own importance; humbleness and comes from the Latin word humilis. A humble person does not think less of himself; he simply thinks of himself less. According to the Bible, a...

Concept Analysis of Cultural Humility

Concepts are a way to classify information; they are essential components from which theory is built. Theory usually explains some aspect of nursing and enables us to make predictions about behavior. The concept analysis process contributes to the development of theory by dissecting the concept...

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