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One Good Thing: Nothing in Criminal Minds makes sense and it’s perfect

The crimes on Criminal Minds are wild, as are the ways the FBI solves them.

by Emily Stewart

An actress standing in front of a screen showing photos of crime suspects.

On Criminal Minds , the criminal is usually a white man in his late 20s to early 30s. Except for that one time when it was a white woman who believes she is Cinderella. She kills men who don’t live up to her Prince Charming fantasies, leaving a phone in their mouths with an alarm set to midnight (you see the fairy tale reference here). She usually stabs them with garden shears, but she also gets them once each with a high-heeled shoe (again). Before killing one man, she rubs soot on her face (and again). One of the FBI agents pursuing her catches her by presenting her with a glass slipper and kissing her hand. They walk off arm in arm together — and eventually to her offscreen arrest, one would hope.

If it sounds incredibly bizarre, it’s because it is.

For those not familiar, Criminal Minds is a procedural drama that ran on CBS for 15 seasons, from 2005 to 2020. (There’s been chatter of a reboot on Paramount+, but it seems unlikely .) It centers on the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI, which, as the name suggests, tries to solve crimes by analyzing behavior. On the show, that translates to characters catching unknown subjects — or, as they say, unsubs — by delivering a profile, where they basically guess what the criminal (almost always a killer) is like.

It feels a little dissonant to call a show that’s about horrific crimes delightful, but there is, indeed, something delightful about the extent to which reality is suspended. So many of the crimes make absolutely no sense. Much of this would never happen in real life.

One lady drugs her victims to turn them into real-life dolls because her abusive father took away her doll set. One guy drowns people in their pools because, when he was a kid, he and a friend used to play pirates. Another guy kills young men and throws them into tornadoes because he’s trying to reassemble his dead brother. There’s a cult that freezes people. A lady who kills men to use them as fertilizer. A gambler who starts murdering for good luck.

If I’m spoiling some things for you here, I’m sorry. In my defense, the show usually spoils itself halfway through and tells you who the unsub is anyway. We’ve got to learn about that criminal mind , after all.

Beyond how unfathomable many of the crimes are, there’s another equally unbelievable layer: It’s genuinely confounding how the crimes are solved, too. The agents magically come up with random theories about someone’s life and personality, tell them to a technical analyst back at the headquarters — a colorfully dressed woman named Penelope Garcia (played by Kirsten Vangsness) — and she types those theories into a magical database. And poof! Suspect identified! The characters will be like, “Okay, look up a man in his early- to mid-20s who has a mean mom and a tattoo and lives in Ohio,” and what do you know, there’s just one guy who matches. (I’ve run into a conspiracy theory that Garcia is actually the only killer and goes around the country framing random men for crimes, which, honestly, could check out.)

Take the Cinderella killer as an example. Initially, the team thinks the killer’s a man — because the killers are almost always men — and finally decide it’s a woman. They put together the midnight, soot, and shoe thing somehow and decide the suspect is fairy tale-inspired. One agent figures out the shoe thing because she says she decided to browse a Jimmy Choo catalog and saw a stiletto heel. Another agent spills on her dress and puts together that the suspect could work for a dry cleaner after remembering someone who saw the killer said her dress had a tag on it.

The team comes up with a profile. They speculate that maybe the suspect is a stepchild or was in foster care. They also speculate that, in that scenario, her foster parents or stepparents favored their biological children. This would have upset her. The team tells this to Penelope, and among other items, she types this into her computer. I am by no means an expert on FBI databases, but I am a bit dubious that a database of “sad about foster care because parents liked biological children better than me” is actually a thing. Or maybe it is and I finally know what Palantir does . Whatever the case, this miracle database really streamlines things and speeds up the plot.

To be sure, Criminal Minds can strike a more serious tone, and some of what it deals in is quite disturbing and tragic. One of the main characters deals openly with being sexually abused as a child; another, with her sister’s suicide.

The show can be problematic in its treatment of women. There’s a lot of violence against women, so much so that one of the show’s early stars, Mandy Patinkin, exited after saying he realized “they were going to kill and rape all these women every night.” At one point, two of the show’s female leads — AJ Cook and Paget Brewster — were fired , only to relatively quickly be brought back after fans complained and the people over at CBS realized maybe this wasn’t a good look.

Criminal Minds got a little better on the lady front over the years. Cook’s character, Jennifer “JJ” Jareau, got to go from being a comms person to carrying a gun. The writers stopped killing off so many of the supporting female characters — who, as my colleague and fellow Criminal Minds fan Sara Morrison notes, were often portrayed as overbearing, incompetent bosses and nags. (Really, nothing gets you killed horribly faster as a woman on Criminal Minds than slightly getting in a male lead’s way.) Still, the misogyny in the show is reflective of the misogyny of real life: Violence against women is a pervasive problem in real life, not only on fictional crime TV.

Criminal Minds is not the perfect show, but in the realm of crime dramas, its slightly campy, often implausible, sometimes comical tone hits the spot. Like, I do want to watch Derek Morgan (played by the perfectly beautiful Shemar Moore) exchange over-the-top sexually charged jokes with Penelope the computer lady, who he refers to as “baby girl,” when he calls upon her to look up criminals in her magical database. I find the episode where Brewster’s Emily Prentiss shows up at a teammate’s house to drink wine by herself in a corner as everyone else helps assemble a crib to be relatable. Why is the FBI team assembling a fellow agent’s crib instead of, you know, the agent’s friends or family? Questions better left unasked.

There are a lot of scary things going on in the world, and maybe a little counterintuitively, Criminal Minds makes me feel a little less scared. My attention span is shot. Sometimes, all I want is to watch a 45-ish-minute show that solves a crime in that time frame, and to vaguely follow the plot, to the extent there is one.

I wrote this story with Criminal Minds on in the background (for inspiration), and at one point I looked up to see which episode it was. It’s one where a guy kidnaps women and kind of tries to turn them into birds. A fantastically improbable scenario, but worth the watch.

Criminal Minds streams on Paramount+. Seasons one through 12 stream on Netflix, and seasons 13-15 are available on Amazon Prime.

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TV review: ‘Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior’ goes with its gut

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There is, no doubt, a women’s studies dissertation to be written on the recent co-optation of intuition by male crime-fighters on television. Once dismissed as a woman’s poor substitute for fact-based logic, intuition has become the latest super-power. House has it, as does “The Mentalist’s” Patrick Jane. “Lie to Me’s” Cal Lightman is a doctor of it, Richard Castle wields the novelist’s version, and on “Criminal Minds,” the FBI has assembled a whole team of Miss Marples who may throw around psychological tendencies and criminal profiles but spend most of their time looking at crime scenes and wondering, “what was he thinking?”

And now there’s another one. If we concede the need for a “Criminal Minds” spinoff, and I suppose we must if only because the ratings for the original are so high, “Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior,” which premieres Wednesday on CBS, does nothing to put the brand to shame. Like its father-ship, “Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior” has recruited a remarkable cast, including Forest Whitaker and Janeane Garofalo, whose characters solve absurdly creepy crimes in an absurdly short amount of time through the use of psychological clichés — “she’s sending a message,” “he’s done this before” — and the keyboard talents of Penelope Garcia (Kirsten Vangsness), the Computer Who Wore Head Bows.

With a completely straight face, she cross-references registered sex offenders with blue-paneled van drivers and voilà : a registered sex offender who drives a blue-paneled van and works the story-telling hour at the local library. That a library does not appear to have access to the state’s sex offender website is alarming, but no matter, because we’re Moving On.

“Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior” has the same rapid pace of the original, a narrative tool that both amps up the action and keeps the viewer from dwelling too much on the gargantuan leaps of imagination that pass for police work. It also works against the show, preventing it from fully making the insightful points it does have.

In the pilot, we meet Sam Cooper (Whitaker) and his team when they are summoned to find a girl gone missing from a wealthy white suburb. When Sam’s No. 2, Beth Griffith (Garofalo), learns that a black girl of the same age also recently went missing, she is outraged by the difference in response. The white girl gets an elite team from the FBI’s feminine intuition, er, Behavioral Analysis Unit; the black girl’s mother is reduced to putting up posters and crashing another abductee’s crime scene.

This is an excellent point of departure for a procedural hoping to be something more, but it is dropped moments after being introduced (though Sam will help find the black girl, especially when it turns out that one crime is simply ancillary to the other). Instead, way too much time is spent on a ridiculous sub-plot involving John “Prophet” Sims (Michael Kelly) who is on probation for killing a pedophile because, you know, pedophiles make him So Angry.

Sam, pained and soulful, is the team’s secret weapon, figuring out what demons drive the criminal by putting himself literally and psychically at the crime scene. He is aided by Penelope’s database miracles, but he is portrayed as a human dowsing rod, wired to understand the criminal mind. The second episode, in which the crime is so creepy it’s silly, offers some hint of character development, with Beth trying to figure Sam out.

It would be a shame to waste the talents of Whitaker and Garofalo in a weekly game of sociopathic “Blue’s Clues,” but they are both actors who can do a lot with a little so maybe it will turn out all right. Given the network’s success rate with spinoffs (two “NCIS’,” three “CSIs”), “Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior” probably has a lot more time to get it right than actual detectives ever do.

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Mary McNamara is a culture columnist and critic for the Los Angeles Times. Previously she was assistant managing editor for arts and entertainment following a 12-year stint as television critic and senior culture editor. A Pulitzer Prize winner in 2015 and finalist for criticism in 2013 and 2014, she has won various awards for criticism and feature writing. She is the author of the Hollywood mysteries “Oscar Season” and “The Starlet.” She lives in La Crescenta with her husband, three children and two dogs.

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Criminal Minds: Evolution review: The faithful revival is grotesque and upsetting — and fans will love it

The sequel to the hit CBS procedural debuts Thanksgiving Day on Paramount+.

Kristen Baldwin is the TV critic for EW

Confession: I have never understood the appeal of Criminal Minds . It was pretty clear from the opening minutes of the 2005 series premiere — in which an "unsub" (unknown subject) chains a woman up in a dog cage and forcefully deprives her of her fingernails — that this grey-washed crime procedural about agents who profile serial killers is simply not for me. (Original star Mandy Patinkin eventually came to the same conclusion .)

Of course, those agents at the BAU (Behavioral Analysis Unit) did just fine without the help of squeamish folks like myself and Mandy. Millions of people loved Criminal Minds , keeping it running for 15 seasons and 324 episodes. In an impressive show of restraint, the folks at Paramount+ waited a full year after the original went off the air in 2020 before announcing a streaming sequel, Criminal Minds: Evolution (premiering Nov. 24). Fans who wish to have their turkey with a side of torture porn can give thanks for this comfortably familiar revival, which delivers Criminal Minds in all its upsetting, formulaic, cheesy, and weirdly gratifying splendor. Plus, there are f-bombs.

Two years after we saw them last, the BAU is still hunting down bad guys — but time hasn't been kind to everyone on the team. Unit Chief Emily Prentiss ( Paget Brewster ) is moving up the ranks at the FBI, though her smug G-man boss, Deputy Director Bailey (Nicholas D'Agosto), prioritizes good press and budget cuts over the BAU's needs. Having suffered a personal loss that he's not gonna talk about, dammit, a haggard Agent Dave Rossi ( Joe Mantegna ) obsesses over finding a "family annihilator," all the while lashing out at fellow agents JJ Jareau (A.J. Cook) and Luke Alvez ( Adam Rodriguez ).

The only happy BAU-er is a former BAU-er: Mega-brilliant tech analyst Penelope Garcia (Kirsten Vangsness) is working a new job and living "a gorgeous life" with no murder, doom-scrolling, or toxic energy allowed. But her expertise is desperately needed when the team uncovers this season's centerpiece psycho: a soft-spoken IT expert named Elias Voit (the perpetually wonderful Zach Gilford ).

Based on the two episodes made available for review, Evolution follows the standard Minds blueprint. After a literally dreadful cold open (helpless victim comes to in some kind of torture bunker, sinister-looking implements glint on a nearby tray, etc.), the BAU team gets to work, guided by a philosophical quote that someone intones gravely via voiceover: " The tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die inside of us while we live " (or whatever). The gore is mostly limited to horrific crime-scene photos that the agents swipe through casually on their phones or slam in front of a suspect to get him to talk — though in episode 2, Dr. Tara Lewis ( Aisha Tyler ) simply describes a crime that is so disgusting, I had to walk away from my screen.

Gilford's gentle, nice-guy demeanor adds a particular menace to Elias, who spent the pandemic building a network of serial killers. As always, Mantegna gives good tough guy, and he's also the only actor who seems comfortable spitting out the newly coarse dialogue ("I'm not going to name this jag-off. F--- him!"). The first two episodes drop in some clever Easter eggs for die-hard fans — including one aimed directly at Luke-Garcia shippers.

At times the plotting is facile, and the scripts have their share of groaners ("Agent Rossi has forgotten more about serial offenders than we will ever know!"), but nobody comes to Criminal Minds for complexity and nuance. Showrunner Erica Messer knows that her viewers want something very simple and satisfying: Good conquers evil in under an hour, or by the end of a 10-episode season at the very least. And I found myself relating deeply to some wisdom Garcia offers Rossi: "Even when you do the right thing, even when you stop serial killers, your body is absorbing that trauma." Count me out, but no doubt millions of Criminal Minds fans will be happy to soak it all in. Grade: C

Criminal Minds: Evolution premieres Nov. 24 on Paramount+.

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Unraveling the Enigma: Criminal Minds on Netflix

“Criminal Minds on Netflix is a gripping exploration of criminal psychology within the realm of mind-bending crime dramas. The series, spanning 15 seasons, stands out in the crowded genre by focusing on the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit (BAU) and their use of profiling techniques to catch dangerous criminals. The show’s strength lies in its well-developed characters, led by the brilliant Jason Gideon and later Aaron Hotchner, each contributing unique expertise. With a perfect blend of suspenseful crime-solving and character-driven narratives, Criminal Minds avoids becoming overly grim, offering a versatile choice for crime drama enthusiasts. Netflix provides a binge-friendly platform, allowing both newcomers and longtime fans to delve into the show’s evolution. What sets it apart is its real-world influence, drawing inspiration from actual cases and consulting with FBI agents for accuracy. In conclusion, Criminal Minds is a must-watch, offering a captivating mix of suspense, character development, and real-world insights into criminal profiling, creating a thrilling journey for viewers seeking a psychological twist in their crime thriller experience.”

Moreover, at PapersOwl, there are additional free essay samples connected to Netflix.

How it works

Are you a fan of mind-bending crime dramas that keep you on the edge of your seat? If so, Criminal Minds on Netflix is a must-watch series that delves into the intricacies of criminal psychology. With its unique approach and compelling storytelling, this show has garnered a massive following since its debut. Let’s take a closer look at what makes Criminal Minds a binge-worthy experience on the streaming giant.

Criminal Minds is not your typical crime procedural; it stands out in the crowded genre by focusing on the psychological aspects of criminal behavior.

The show follows the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit (BAU) as they use profiling techniques to catch serial killers and other dangerous criminals. What sets it apart is its emphasis on understanding the minds of criminals, making it a captivating and intellectually stimulating watch.

One of the show’s strengths lies in its well-developed characters. The team, led by the brilliant Jason Gideon and later Aaron Hotchner, consists of unique individuals, each bringing their expertise to the table. From the charming and quirky Dr. Spencer Reid to the tough and intuitive Jennifer Jareau, the dynamics within the BAU create a rich tapestry that adds depth to the storytelling. The characters’ personal struggles and growth throughout the series add a layer of emotional connection for viewers.

Netflix offers a binge-friendly platform for fans to immerse themselves in the world of Criminal Minds. The streaming service boasts all 15 seasons of the show, allowing viewers to follow the BAU’s evolution from its inception to its final cases. This extensive library makes it convenient for both newcomers and longtime fans to revisit their favorite episodes or discover hidden gems they may have missed during the show’s original run.

One of the reasons Criminal Minds has stood the test of time is its ability to balance suspenseful crime-solving with character-driven narratives. While the show may be intense and dark at times, it also injects moments of humor and camaraderie among the team members. This unique blend keeps the series from becoming overly grim, making it a versatile choice for those who enjoy a variety of tones in their crime dramas.

The success of Criminal Minds is not only attributed to its writing and characters but also to the real-world influence it has had on criminal profiling. Many episodes are inspired by actual cases, and the show consults with real FBI agents and criminal profilers to ensure accuracy in its portrayal of criminal behavior. This commitment to realism adds an extra layer of intrigue for viewers interested in the intersection of fiction and reality.

In conclusion, Criminal Minds on Netflix is a captivating journey into the minds of criminals, offering a unique blend of suspense, character development, and real-world inspiration. With all 15 seasons available for streaming, it’s the perfect show for those who love a good crime thriller with a psychological twist. So, grab your popcorn, settle in, and get ready to embark on a rollercoaster of emotions and suspense with the brilliant minds of the BAU.

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Criminal Minds

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Watch Criminal Minds with a subscription on Hulu, Paramount+, or buy it on Fandango at Home, Prime Video.

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Joe Mantegna

David Rossi

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Penelope Garcia

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Criminal Minds (2005– )

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Essay Samples on Criminal Minds

How the csi effect alters our perspectives on real life courtroom processes.

Television shows have an impact in today’s world. When it comes down to injustices in the courtroom, there are plenty. Some people are put away simply based on opinion instead of factual evidence. Our opinions and thoughts about the courtroom must have come from somewhere...

Criminal Minds

Career of Thomas Gibson Prior, During and After the TV Show Criminal Minds

If you are an avid follower of the CBS series Criminal Minds, then the face of Thomas Gibson would be quite familiar. He starred as Aaron Hotchner, a former prosecutor and one of the most experienced agents in the BAU who has a hard time...

Personality

Factors that Affects Criminal Behaviour

Criminal Behavior has always been a focus for psychologist. There are many factors for criminal behavior but the top risk factors for criminal behavior are (in no particular order);family issues, psychological/mental characteristics, peer influences and socioeconomic status. In criminology and the study of behaviors, they...

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Antisocial Personality Disorder and Criminal Deviance

Linking Antisocial Personality Disorder and Criminal Deviance Understanding what factors contribute to the development of a criminal is crucial to understanding crime, social interactions, and today’s criminal justice system. For many years criminal law applications have relied on the sociological influences and theories derived from...

Antisocial Personality Disorder

Criminal Homicide and the Rational Choice and Routine Activities Theories

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Child Homicide and Inverstigation of the Criminal's Mind

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Best topics on Criminal Minds

1. How The CSI Effect Alters Our Perspectives on Real Life Courtroom Processes

2. Career of Thomas Gibson Prior, During and After the TV Show Criminal Minds

3. Factors that Affects Criminal Behaviour

4. Antisocial Personality Disorder and Criminal Deviance

5. Criminal Homicide and the Rational Choice and Routine Activities Theories

6. The Factors That Affect Britain’s Homicide Clearance Rate

7. Child Homicide and Inverstigation of the Criminal’s Mind

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Criminal Minds Essay Examples

Criminal minds: tv show inspired by true stories.

There is an increasing number of movies whose story source draws inspiration from real-life events and people whose lives make for an interesting watch. Much of these films are inspired by true personal stories of either tragedies or successes. The Primetime drama series, Criminal Minds...

Personal Review on the Tv Show 'Criminal Minds'

There are many television shows out there about criminal investigations. Some popular ones you may know are Criminal Minds, Law & Order, and CSI. These shows produce crime scenes and investigations in order to entertain their viewers. What these producers don’t realize is that there...

Thomas Gibson - the Main Face of Criminal Minds Tv Show

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