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How to Write a So What Statement: A Step-by-Step Guide

As a student, you may have been asked to write a paper or research project that requires a so what statement. This statement is a crucial aspect of academic writing, and it can make or break your work. In this article, we'll walk you through the steps of crafting a strong so what statement and provide you with examples to help you understand its importance.

Understanding the Importance of a So What Statement

Before we dive into how to write a so what statement, let's first understand what it is and why it's important. At its core, a so what statement is a concise summary of your main argument that highlights the significance of your findings. It's the answer to the question, "Why does this matter?"

A so what statement plays a vital role in academic writing because it helps you convey the importance of your work to your readers. Your so what statement gives context to your research, helps you stand out in a crowded field, and demonstrates the value of your work to others.

What is a So What Statement?

A so what statement is a brief sentence or two that summarizes the main point of your research or argument. It is the answer to the question, "What is the significance of this work?" Essentially, a so what statement is like a thesis statement in that it summarizes the main argument of your work, but it also goes one step further to explain why your argument matters.

Why is it Crucial in Academic Writing?

Academic writing is meant to be informative and persuasive. You want your work to be useful to others and to convince them of your argument's validity. A strong so what statement helps you achieve both of these goals by providing context to your research and demonstrating its significance to others. It also helps to distinguish your work from that of others in your field.

Preparing to Write Your So What Statement

Now that you understand the importance of a so what statement, it's time to start preparing to write one. Here are a few steps you can take to get started:

Analyzing Your Research Question

Your research question is the foundation of your work. To craft a strong so what statement, you need to have a clear understanding of the question you're trying to answer. Start by breaking down your question into its component parts and identifying the key concepts and themes that emerge.

For example, if your research question is "How does social media use impact mental health?" you might identify keywords like "social media use," "mental health," and "impact." Think about how these concepts relate to one another and how they might be used to create a summary of your main argument.

Identifying Key Findings and Implications

As you conduct your research, you'll likely come across a range of findings and implications that are relevant to your work. To write a strong so what statement, you need to identify the most important of these and integrate them into your argument.

Think about the conclusions that you've drawn from your research and how they help to answer your research question. Consider the potential implications of your findings and how they could shape future research or practice in your field.

Crafting a Strong So What Statement

Now that you've done the groundwork, it's time to craft your so what statement. Here are a few steps to follow:

Step 1: Summarize Your Main Argument

The first step in crafting your so what statement is to summarize your main argument. This should be a concise statement that sums up what you're trying to say in your work. Use the keywords you identified earlier to create a clear, concise formulation of your argument.

Step 2: Highlight the Significance of Your Findings

The next step is to highlight the significance of your findings. What do your results tell us about the world? How can they help us understand a particular issue or problem? Use the implications you identified earlier to help you create a clear, compelling statement of the significance of your work.

Step 3: Address Potential Counterarguments

When you're crafting your so what statement, it's important to think about potential counterarguments to your argument. Addressing these counterarguments in your so what statement can help to strengthen your argument by demonstrating that you've thought critically about the issue at hand.

Step 4: Demonstrate the Broader Impact of Your Research

The final step is to demonstrate the broader impact of your research. How will your work contribute to the larger field of study? What are the implications of your work for society as a whole? Use this step to create a statement that highlights the long-term significance of your research.

Examples of Effective So What Statements

To help you understand how to write a strong so what statement, here are a few examples:

Example 1: A So What Statement in a Literature Analysis

  • Summarize your main argument: In this literary analysis, I argue that the use of symbolism in "The Great Gatsby" helps to convey the novel's themes of excess and corruption.
  • Highlight the significance of your findings: Through my analysis of the novel, I demonstrate how Fitzgerald's use of symbolism helps to create a compelling narrative about the dangers of unchecked ambition and materialism.
  • Address potential counterarguments: While some might argue that the symbolism in "The Great Gatsby" is too heavy-handed, I demonstrate that it is precisely this use of symbolism that makes the novel so powerful.
  • Demonstrate the broader impact of your research: Ultimately, my analysis of "The Great Gatsby" helps to shed light on the enduring relevance of Fitzgerald's work and its ongoing importance for understanding the complexities of American society.

Example 2: A So What Statement in a Social Science Research Paper

  • Summarize your main argument: In this research paper, I argue that social media use is negatively correlated with mental health outcomes.
  • Highlight the significance of your findings: Through my analysis of survey data, I demonstrate that people who reported more social media use also reported higher levels of anxiety and depression than those who reported using social media less frequently.
  • Address potential counterarguments: While some might argue that social media use is not directly causally related to mental health outcomes, my research demonstrates a strong correlation between these variables that should not be ignored.
  • Demonstrate the broader impact of your research: My research helps to shed light on the potential risks of social media use and can inform public health interventions aimed at reducing rates of mental illness in the general population.

Example 3: A So What Statement in a Scientific Study

  • Summarize your main argument: In this scientific study, I argue that a new drug shows promise for treating Alzheimer's disease.
  • Highlight the significance of your findings: Through my study of a group of patients with Alzheimer's disease, I demonstrate that those who were treated with the drug showed significant improvements in memory and cognitive function compared to the placebo group.
  • Address potential counterarguments: While some might argue that the sample size in my study was small, I believe that my findings are still significant and warrant further investigation.
  • Demonstrate the broader impact of your research: My study helps to provide hope for those suffering from Alzheimer's disease and can inform the development of new treatments that could have a profound impact on the lives of millions of people around the world.

ChatGPT Prompt for Writing a So What Statement

Chatgpt prompt.

Compose a statement that effectively communicates the significance, relevance, and implications of a given topic or argument, in order to demonstrate why it matters and why it is worth considering.

[ADD ADDITIONAL CONTEXT. CAN USE BULLET POINTS.]

In conclusion, a so what statement is a crucial aspect of academic writing that can help you convey the importance of your work to your readers. By following the steps outlined in this article, you can craft a strong so what statement that summarizes your main argument and highlights the significance of your findings. Remember to think critically about the implications of your work and to address potential counterarguments in your statement. By doing so, you can demonstrate the broader impact of your research and contribute to the larger body of knowledge in your field.

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Writing Tutorial Services

How to write a thesis statement, what is a thesis statement.

Almost all of us—even if we don’t do it consciously—look early in an essay for a one- or two-sentence condensation of the argument or analysis that is to follow. We refer to that condensation as a thesis statement.

Why Should Your Essay Contain a Thesis Statement?

  • to test your ideas by distilling them into a sentence or two
  • to better organize and develop your argument
  • to provide your reader with a “guide” to your argument

In general, your thesis statement will accomplish these goals if you think of the thesis as the answer to the question your paper explores.

How Can You Write a Good Thesis Statement?

Here are some helpful hints to get you started. You can either scroll down or select a link to a specific topic.

How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is Assigned How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is not Assigned How to Tell a Strong Thesis Statement from a Weak One

How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is Assigned

Almost all assignments, no matter how complicated, can be reduced to a single question. Your first step, then, is to distill the assignment into a specific question. For example, if your assignment is, “Write a report to the local school board explaining the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class,” turn the request into a question like, “What are the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class?” After you’ve chosen the question your essay will answer, compose one or two complete sentences answering that question.

Q: “What are the potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class?” A: “The potential benefits of using computers in a fourth-grade class are . . .”
A: “Using computers in a fourth-grade class promises to improve . . .”

The answer to the question is the thesis statement for the essay.

[ Back to top ]

How to Generate a Thesis Statement if the Topic is not Assigned

Even if your assignment doesn’t ask a specific question, your thesis statement still needs to answer a question about the issue you’d like to explore. In this situation, your job is to figure out what question you’d like to write about.

A good thesis statement will usually include the following four attributes:

  • take on a subject upon which reasonable people could disagree
  • deal with a subject that can be adequately treated given the nature of the assignment
  • express one main idea
  • assert your conclusions about a subject

Let’s see how to generate a thesis statement for a social policy paper.

Brainstorm the topic . Let’s say that your class focuses upon the problems posed by changes in the dietary habits of Americans. You find that you are interested in the amount of sugar Americans consume.

You start out with a thesis statement like this:

Sugar consumption.

This fragment isn’t a thesis statement. Instead, it simply indicates a general subject. Furthermore, your reader doesn’t know what you want to say about sugar consumption.

Narrow the topic . Your readings about the topic, however, have led you to the conclusion that elementary school children are consuming far more sugar than is healthy.

You change your thesis to look like this:

Reducing sugar consumption by elementary school children.

This fragment not only announces your subject, but it focuses on one segment of the population: elementary school children. Furthermore, it raises a subject upon which reasonable people could disagree, because while most people might agree that children consume more sugar than they used to, not everyone would agree on what should be done or who should do it. You should note that this fragment is not a thesis statement because your reader doesn’t know your conclusions on the topic.

Take a position on the topic. After reflecting on the topic a little while longer, you decide that what you really want to say about this topic is that something should be done to reduce the amount of sugar these children consume.

You revise your thesis statement to look like this:

More attention should be paid to the food and beverage choices available to elementary school children.

This statement asserts your position, but the terms more attention and food and beverage choices are vague.

Use specific language . You decide to explain what you mean about food and beverage choices , so you write:

Experts estimate that half of elementary school children consume nine times the recommended daily allowance of sugar.

This statement is specific, but it isn’t a thesis. It merely reports a statistic instead of making an assertion.

Make an assertion based on clearly stated support. You finally revise your thesis statement one more time to look like this:

Because half of all American elementary school children consume nine times the recommended daily allowance of sugar, schools should be required to replace the beverages in soda machines with healthy alternatives.

Notice how the thesis answers the question, “What should be done to reduce sugar consumption by children, and who should do it?” When you started thinking about the paper, you may not have had a specific question in mind, but as you became more involved in the topic, your ideas became more specific. Your thesis changed to reflect your new insights.

How to Tell a Strong Thesis Statement from a Weak One

1. a strong thesis statement takes some sort of stand..

Remember that your thesis needs to show your conclusions about a subject. For example, if you are writing a paper for a class on fitness, you might be asked to choose a popular weight-loss product to evaluate. Here are two thesis statements:

There are some negative and positive aspects to the Banana Herb Tea Supplement.

This is a weak thesis statement. First, it fails to take a stand. Second, the phrase negative and positive aspects is vague.

Because Banana Herb Tea Supplement promotes rapid weight loss that results in the loss of muscle and lean body mass, it poses a potential danger to customers.

This is a strong thesis because it takes a stand, and because it's specific.

2. A strong thesis statement justifies discussion.

Your thesis should indicate the point of the discussion. If your assignment is to write a paper on kinship systems, using your own family as an example, you might come up with either of these two thesis statements:

My family is an extended family.

This is a weak thesis because it merely states an observation. Your reader won’t be able to tell the point of the statement, and will probably stop reading.

While most American families would view consanguineal marriage as a threat to the nuclear family structure, many Iranian families, like my own, believe that these marriages help reinforce kinship ties in an extended family.

This is a strong thesis because it shows how your experience contradicts a widely-accepted view. A good strategy for creating a strong thesis is to show that the topic is controversial. Readers will be interested in reading the rest of the essay to see how you support your point.

3. A strong thesis statement expresses one main idea.

Readers need to be able to see that your paper has one main point. If your thesis statement expresses more than one idea, then you might confuse your readers about the subject of your paper. For example:

Companies need to exploit the marketing potential of the Internet, and Web pages can provide both advertising and customer support.

This is a weak thesis statement because the reader can’t decide whether the paper is about marketing on the Internet or Web pages. To revise the thesis, the relationship between the two ideas needs to become more clear. One way to revise the thesis would be to write:

Because the Internet is filled with tremendous marketing potential, companies should exploit this potential by using Web pages that offer both advertising and customer support.

This is a strong thesis because it shows that the two ideas are related. Hint: a great many clear and engaging thesis statements contain words like because , since , so , although , unless , and however .

4. A strong thesis statement is specific.

A thesis statement should show exactly what your paper will be about, and will help you keep your paper to a manageable topic. For example, if you're writing a seven-to-ten page paper on hunger, you might say:

World hunger has many causes and effects.

This is a weak thesis statement for two major reasons. First, world hunger can’t be discussed thoroughly in seven to ten pages. Second, many causes and effects is vague. You should be able to identify specific causes and effects. A revised thesis might look like this:

Hunger persists in Glandelinia because jobs are scarce and farming in the infertile soil is rarely profitable.

This is a strong thesis statement because it narrows the subject to a more specific and manageable topic, and it also identifies the specific causes for the existence of hunger.

Produced by Writing Tutorial Services, Indiana University, Bloomington, IN

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Writing Beginner

How to Write a Thesis Statement (Full Guide + 60 Examples)

Crafting the perfect thesis statement is an art form that sets the foundation for your entire paper.

Here is how to write a thesis statement:

Write a thesis statement by clearly stating your topic, expressing your position, and providing key points. For example: “Social media impacts teens by influencing self-esteem, enabling cyberbullying, and shaping social interactions.” Be specific, concise, and arguable.

This ultimate guide will break down everything you need to know about how to write a thesis statement, plus 60 examples.

What Is a Thesis Statement?

Girl in a library using a laptop - How to Write a Thesis Statement

Table of Contents

A thesis statement is a concise summary of the main point or claim of an essay, research paper, or other piece of academic writing.

It presents the topic of your paper and your position on the topic, ideally in a single sentence.

Think of it as the roadmap to your paper—it guides your readers through your arguments and provides a clear direction.

Key Elements of a Thesis Statement

  • Clarity: Your thesis should be clear and specific.
  • Position: It should convey your stance on the topic.
  • Argument: The statement should make a claim that others might dispute.

Types of Thesis Statements

There are various types of thesis statements depending on the kind of paper you’re writing.

Here are the main ones:

  • Standard Method – This is the classic thesis statement used in many academic essays. It provides a straightforward approach, clearly stating the main argument or claim and outlining the supporting points.
  • Research Paper – Designed for research papers, this type involves extensive research and evidence. It presents a hypothesis or a central argument based on your research findings.
  • Informative Essay – Used for essays that aim to inform or explain a topic. It provides a clear summary of what the reader will learn.
  • Persuasive Essay – For essays meant to persuade or convince the reader of a particular point of view. It clearly states your position and outlines your main arguments.
  • Compare and Contrast Essay – Used when comparing two or more subjects. It highlights the similarities and differences between the subjects and presents a clear argument based on these comparisons.
  • Analytical Essay – Breaks down an issue or idea into its component parts, evaluates the issue or idea, and presents this breakdown and evaluation to the audience.
  • Argumentative Essay – Makes a claim about a topic and justifies this claim with specific evidence. It’s similar to the persuasive essay but usually requires more evidence and a more formal tone.
  • Expository Essay – Explains or describes a topic in a straightforward, logical manner. It provides a balanced analysis of a subject based on facts without opinions.
  • Narrative Essay – Tells a story or relates an event. The thesis statement for a narrative essay usually highlights the main point or lesson of the story.
  • Cause and Effect Essay – Explores the causes of a particular event or situation and its effects. It provides a clear argument about the cause and effect relationship.

How to Write a Thesis Statement (Standard Method)

Writing a standard thesis statement involves a few straightforward steps.

Here’s a detailed guide:

  • Identify Your Topic: What is your essay about?
  • Take a Stance: What is your position on the topic?
  • Outline Your Main Points: What are the key arguments that support your stance?
  • Combine All Elements: Formulate a single, coherent sentence that encompasses all the above points.
  • “Social media has a significant impact on teenagers because it influences their self-esteem, provides a platform for cyberbullying, and shapes their social interactions.”
  • “Climate change is a pressing issue that requires immediate action because it threatens global ecosystems, endangers human health, and disrupts economies.”
  • “The rise of remote work is transforming the modern workplace by increasing flexibility, reducing overhead costs, and enhancing work-life balance.”
  • “School uniforms should be mandatory in public schools as they promote equality, reduce bullying, and simplify the morning routine.”
  • “Digital literacy is essential in today’s world because it improves communication, enhances job prospects, and enables informed decision-making.”

How to Write a Thesis Statement for a Research Paper

Research papers require a more detailed and evidence-based thesis.

Here’s how to craft one:

  • Start with a Research Question: What are you trying to find out?
  • Conduct Preliminary Research: Gather evidence and sources.
  • Formulate a Hypothesis: Based on your research, what do you think will happen?
  • Refine Your Thesis: Make it specific and arguable.
  • “The implementation of renewable energy sources can significantly reduce carbon emissions in urban areas, as evidenced by case studies in cities like Copenhagen and Vancouver.”
  • “Genetically modified crops have the potential to improve food security, but their impact on biodiversity and human health requires further investigation.”
  • “The use of artificial intelligence in healthcare can improve diagnostic accuracy and patient outcomes, but ethical concerns about data privacy and algorithmic bias must be addressed.”
  • “Urban green spaces contribute to mental well-being and community cohesion, as demonstrated by longitudinal studies in various metropolitan areas.”
  • “Microplastic pollution in oceans poses a severe threat to marine life and human health, highlighting the need for stricter waste management policies.”

How to Write a Thesis Statement for an Essay

You’ll write thesis statements a little differently for different kinds of essays.

Informative Essay

  • Choose Your Topic: What are you informing your readers about?
  • Outline Key Points: What are the main pieces of information?
  • Draft Your Statement: Clearly state the purpose and main points.
  • “The process of photosynthesis is essential for plant life as it converts light energy into chemical energy, produces oxygen, and is the basis for the food chain.”
  • “The human digestive system is a complex series of organs and glands that process food, absorb nutrients, and eliminate waste.”
  • “The Industrial Revolution was a period of major technological advancement and social change that reshaped the economies and societies of Europe and North America.”
  • “The history of the internet from its early development in the 1960s to its current role in global communication and commerce is a fascinating journey of innovation and transformation.”
  • “The impact of climate change on Arctic ecosystems is profound, affecting wildlife, indigenous communities, and global weather patterns.”

Persuasive Essay

  • Identify Your Position: What are you trying to convince your reader of?
  • Gather Supporting Evidence: What evidence backs up your position?
  • Combine Elements: Make a clear, arguable statement.
  • “Implementing a four-day workweek can improve productivity and employee well-being, as supported by studies from Iceland and Japan.”
  • “The death penalty should be abolished as it is inhumane, does not deter crime, and risks executing innocent people.”
  • “Public transportation should be made free to reduce traffic congestion, decrease pollution, and promote social equity.”
  • “Recycling should be mandatory to conserve natural resources, reduce landfill waste, and protect the environment.”
  • “Vaccination should be mandatory to protect public health and prevent the spread of contagious diseases.”

Compare and Contrast Essay

  • Choose Subjects to Compare: What are the two (or more) subjects?
  • Determine the Basis of Comparison: What specific aspects are you comparing?
  • Draft the Thesis: Clearly state the subjects and the comparison.
  • “While both solar and wind energy are renewable sources, solar energy is more versatile and can be used in a wider variety of environments.”
  • “Although both capitalism and socialism aim to improve economic welfare, capitalism emphasizes individual freedom while socialism focuses on collective equality.”
  • “Traditional classroom education and online learning each offer unique benefits, but online learning provides greater flexibility and access to resources.”
  • “The novels ‘1984’ by George Orwell and ‘Brave New World’ by Aldous Huxley both depict dystopian societies, but ‘1984’ focuses on totalitarianism while ‘Brave New World’ explores the dangers of technological control.”
  • “While iOS and Android operating systems offer similar functionality, iOS provides a more streamlined user experience, whereas Android offers greater customization options.”

How to Write a Thesis Statement for an Analytical Essay

An analytical essay breaks down an issue or idea into its component parts, evaluates the issue or idea, and presents this breakdown and evaluation to the audience.

  • Choose Your Topic: What will you analyze?
  • Identify Key Components: What are the main parts of your analysis?
  • Formulate Your Thesis: Combine the components into a coherent statement.
  • “Shakespeare’s ‘Hamlet’ explores themes of madness and revenge through the complex characterization of Hamlet and his interactions with other characters.”
  • “The economic policies of the New Deal addressed the Great Depression by implementing financial reforms, creating job opportunities, and providing social welfare programs.”
  • “The symbolism in ‘The Great Gatsby’ by F. Scott Fitzgerald reflects the moral decay and social stratification of the Jazz Age.”
  • “The narrative structure of ‘Inception’ uses nonlinear storytelling to explore the complexities of dreams and reality.”
  • “The use of color in Wes Anderson’s films enhances the whimsical and nostalgic tone of his storytelling.”

How to Write a Thesis Statement for an Argumentative Essay

An argumentative essay makes a claim about a topic and justifies this claim with specific evidence.

It’s similar to the persuasive essay but usually requires more evidence and a more formal tone.

  • Choose Your Topic: What are you arguing about?
  • Gather Evidence: What evidence supports your claim?
  • Formulate Your Thesis: Make a clear, evidence-based statement.
  • “Climate change is primarily driven by human activities, such as deforestation and the burning of fossil fuels, which increase greenhouse gas emissions.”
  • “The benefits of universal healthcare outweigh the costs, as it ensures equal access to medical services, reduces overall healthcare expenses, and improves public health.”
  • “The death penalty should be abolished because it violates human rights, is not a deterrent to crime, and risks the execution of innocent people.”
  • “Animal testing for cosmetics should be banned as it is unethical, unnecessary, and alternatives are available.”
  • “Net neutrality should be maintained to ensure a free and open internet, preventing service providers from prioritizing or blocking content.”

How to Write a Thesis Statement for an Expository Essay

An expository essay explains or describes a topic in a straightforward, logical manner.

It provides a balanced analysis of a subject based on facts without opinions.

  • Choose Your Topic: What are you explaining or describing?
  • Outline Key Points: What are the main facts or components?
  • Formulate Your Thesis: Combine the elements into a clear statement.
  • “The water cycle consists of evaporation, condensation, and precipitation, which are essential for maintaining the earth’s water balance.”
  • “The human respiratory system is responsible for taking in oxygen and expelling carbon dioxide through a series of organs, including the lungs, trachea, and diaphragm.”
  • “Photosynthesis in plants involves the absorption of light energy by chlorophyll, which converts carbon dioxide and water into glucose and oxygen.”
  • “The structure of DNA is a double helix composed of nucleotides, which are the building blocks of genetic information.”
  • “The process of mitosis ensures that cells divide correctly, allowing for growth, repair, and reproduction in living organisms.”

How to Write a Thesis Statement for a Narrative Essay

A narrative essay tells a story or relates an event.

The thesis statement for a narrative essay usually highlights the main point or lesson of the story.

  • Identify the Main Point: What is the main lesson or theme of your story?
  • Outline Key Events: What are the key events that support this point?
  • Formulate Your Thesis: Combine the main point and events into a coherent statement.
  • “Overcoming my fear of public speaking in high school taught me the value of confidence and perseverance.”
  • “My summer volunteering at a wildlife rescue center showed me the importance of compassion and teamwork.”
  • “A family road trip across the country provided me with unforgettable memories and a deeper appreciation for our diverse landscapes.”
  • “Moving to a new city for college challenged me to adapt to new environments and build independence.”
  • “A childhood friendship that ended in betrayal taught me the importance of trust and resilience.”

How to Write a Thesis Statement for a Cause and Effect Essay

A cause and effect essay explores the causes of a particular event or situation and its effects.

It provides a clear argument about the cause and effect relationship.

  • Identify the Event or Situation: What are you analyzing?
  • Determine the Causes: What are the reasons behind this event or situation?
  • Identify the Effects: What are the consequences?
  • Formulate Your Thesis: Combine the causes and effects into a coherent statement.
  • “The rise in global temperatures is primarily caused by human activities, such as burning fossil fuels, and leads to severe weather patterns and rising sea levels.”
  • “The introduction of invasive species in an ecosystem disrupts the balance and leads to the decline of native species.”
  • “Economic recession is caused by a combination of factors, including high unemployment rates and declining consumer confidence, and results in reduced business investments and government spending.”
  • “Prolonged exposure to screen time can cause digital eye strain and sleep disturbances, affecting overall health and productivity.”
  • “Deforestation contributes to soil erosion and loss of biodiversity, leading to the degradation of ecosystems and reduced agricultural productivity.”

How to Write a Good Thesis Statement

Writing a good thesis statement is all about clarity and specificity.

Here’s a formula to help you:

  • State the Topic: What are you writing about?
  • Express Your Opinion: What do you think about the topic?
  • Provide a Reason: Why do you think this way?
  • “Remote work is beneficial because it offers flexibility, reduces commuting time, and increases job satisfaction.”
  • “Regular exercise is essential for maintaining physical and mental health as it boosts energy levels, improves mood, and reduces the risk of chronic diseases.”
  • “Reading fiction enhances empathy by allowing readers to experience different perspectives and emotions.”
  • “A plant-based diet is advantageous for both personal health and environmental sustainability.”
  • “Learning a second language enhances cognitive abilities and opens up cultural and professional opportunities.”

Check out this video about how to write a strong thesis statement:

How to Write a Thesis Statement (Formula + Template)

Use this simple formula to craft your thesis statement:

[Main Topic] + [Your Opinion/Position] + [Reason/Key Points]

Template: “__________ (main topic) has __________ (your opinion) because __________ (reason/key points).”

  • “Electric cars are the future of transportation because they reduce greenhouse gas emissions, lower fuel costs, and require less maintenance.”
  • “Social media platforms should implement stricter privacy controls because user data is vulnerable to breaches, exploitation, and misuse.”
  • “Higher education should be more affordable to ensure equal access and promote social mobility.”
  • “Television news often fails to provide balanced coverage, leading to public misinformation.”
  • “Volunteer work should be encouraged in schools to foster community engagement and personal development.”

Thesis Statement Tips

Writing a strong thesis statement is crucial for a successful essay. Here are some tips to help you craft a killer thesis statement:

  • Be Specific: Avoid vague language. Make sure your thesis statement clearly defines your argument or main point.
  • Be Concise: Keep it to one or two sentences. Your thesis statement should be brief and to the point.
  • Make It Arguable: Ensure that your thesis statement presents a claim or argument that can be disputed.
  • Place It Appropriately: Typically, your thesis statement should be placed at the end of your introduction paragraph.
  • Revise and Refine: Don’t be afraid to revise your thesis statement as you write and refine your essay. It should evolve as your ideas develop.

Common Thesis Statement Errors

Avoid these common errors when crafting your thesis statement:

  • Too Broad: A thesis statement that is too broad makes it difficult to focus your essay. Narrow it down to a specific point.
  • Too Vague: Avoid vague language that lacks specificity. Be clear about what you’re arguing.
  • Lacks an Argument: Ensure that your thesis statement makes a clear argument or claim. Avoid statements that are purely factual or descriptive.
  • Too Complex: A thesis statement should be straightforward and easy to understand. Avoid overly complex sentences.
  • Off-Topic: Make sure your thesis statement is directly related to the topic of your essay. Stay on track.

How Do You Start a Thesis Statement?

Starting a thesis statement involves using clear and concise language that sets the stage for your argument.

Here are some exact words and phrases to begin with:

  • “The purpose of this paper is to…”
  • “This essay will argue that…”
  • “In this essay, I will demonstrate that…”
  • “The central idea of this paper is…”
  • “This research aims to prove that…”
  • “This study focuses on…”
  • “This analysis will show that…”
  • “The main argument presented in this paper is…”
  • “The goal of this essay is to…”
  • “Through this research, it will be shown that…”

How Long Should a Thesis Statement Be?

A thesis statement should be clear and concise, typically one to two sentences long.

Aim for 20 to 30 words, ensuring it includes the main topic, your position, and the key points that will be covered in your paper.

This provides a focused and precise summary of your argument, making it easier for readers to understand the main direction of your essay or research paper.

While brevity is essential, it’s also crucial to provide enough detail to convey the scope of your argument.

Avoid overly complex sentences that can confuse readers. Instead, strive for a balance between clarity and comprehensiveness, ensuring your thesis statement is straightforward and informative.

Summary Table of Thesis Statement Writing

Type of Thesis StatementExample
Standard Method“Social media influences teenagers’ self-esteem and social interactions.”
Research Paper“Renewable energy reduces urban carbon emissions, shown by case studies.”
Informative Essay“Photosynthesis converts light energy into chemical energy for plants.”
Persuasive Essay“A four-day workweek improves productivity and well-being.”
Compare and Contrast Essay“Solar energy is more versatile than wind energy.”
Analytical Essay“The symbolism in ‘The Great Gatsby’ reflects social stratification.”
Argumentative Essay“Climate change is driven by human activities, requiring urgent action.”
Expository Essay“The water cycle is essential for maintaining earth’s water balance.”
Narrative Essay“Overcoming my fear of public speaking taught me confidence.”
Cause and Effect Essay“Deforestation leads to soil erosion and loss of biodiversity.”

Final Thoughts: How to Write a Thesis Statement

Writing a strong thesis statement is the cornerstone of a successful paper.

It guides your writing and helps your readers understand your argument. Remember to be clear, specific, and concise. With practice, you’ll master the art of crafting killer thesis statements.

Read This Next:

  • How to Write a Hypothesis [31 Tips + Examples]
  • How to Write a Topic Sentence (30+ Tips & Examples)
  • How to Write a Paragraph [Ultimate Guide + Examples] What Is A Universal Statement In Writing? (Explained) 21 Best Ways To Write Essays When You Are Stuck [Examples]

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Tips and Examples for Writing Thesis Statements

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Tips for Writing Your Thesis Statement

1. Determine what kind of paper you are writing:

  • An analytical paper breaks down an issue or an idea into its component parts, evaluates the issue or idea, and presents this breakdown and evaluation to the audience.
  • An expository (explanatory) paper explains something to the audience.
  • An argumentative paper makes a claim about a topic and justifies this claim with specific evidence. The claim could be an opinion, a policy proposal, an evaluation, a cause-and-effect statement, or an interpretation. The goal of the argumentative paper is to convince the audience that the claim is true based on the evidence provided.

If you are writing a text that does not fall under these three categories (e.g., a narrative), a thesis statement somewhere in the first paragraph could still be helpful to your reader.

2. Your thesis statement should be specific—it should cover only what you will discuss in your paper and should be supported with specific evidence.

3. The thesis statement usually appears at the end of the first paragraph of a paper.

4. Your topic may change as you write, so you may need to revise your thesis statement to reflect exactly what you have discussed in the paper.

Thesis Statement Examples

Example of an analytical thesis statement:

The paper that follows should:

  • Explain the analysis of the college admission process
  • Explain the challenge facing admissions counselors

Example of an expository (explanatory) thesis statement:

  • Explain how students spend their time studying, attending class, and socializing with peers

Example of an argumentative thesis statement:

  • Present an argument and give evidence to support the claim that students should pursue community projects before entering college

While Sandel argues that pursuing perfection through genetic engineering would decrease our sense of humility, he claims that the sense of solidarity we would lose is also important.

This thesis summarizes several points in Sandel’s argument, but it does not make a claim about how we should understand his argument. A reader who read Sandel’s argument would not also need to read an essay based on this descriptive thesis.  

Broad thesis (arguable, but difficult to support with evidence) 

Michael Sandel’s arguments about genetic engineering do not take into consideration all the relevant issues.

This is an arguable claim because it would be possible to argue against it by saying that Michael Sandel’s arguments do take all of the relevant issues into consideration. But the claim is too broad. Because the thesis does not specify which “issues” it is focused on—or why it matters if they are considered—readers won’t know what the rest of the essay will argue, and the writer won’t know what to focus on. If there is a particular issue that Sandel does not address, then a more specific version of the thesis would include that issue—hand an explanation of why it is important.  

Arguable thesis with analytical claim 

While Sandel argues persuasively that our instinct to “remake” (54) ourselves into something ever more perfect is a problem, his belief that we can always draw a line between what is medically necessary and what makes us simply “better than well” (51) is less convincing.

This is an arguable analytical claim. To argue for this claim, the essay writer will need to show how evidence from the article itself points to this interpretation. It’s also a reasonable scope for a thesis because it can be supported with evidence available in the text and is neither too broad nor too narrow.  

Arguable thesis with normative claim 

Given Sandel’s argument against genetic enhancement, we should not allow parents to decide on using Human Growth Hormone for their children.

This thesis tells us what we should do about a particular issue discussed in Sandel’s article, but it does not tell us how we should understand Sandel’s argument.  

Questions to ask about your thesis 

  • Is the thesis truly arguable? Does it speak to a genuine dilemma in the source, or would most readers automatically agree with it?  
  • Is the thesis too obvious? Again, would most or all readers agree with it without needing to see your argument?  
  • Is the thesis complex enough to require a whole essay's worth of argument?  
  • Is the thesis supportable with evidence from the text rather than with generalizations or outside research?  
  • Would anyone want to read a paper in which this thesis was developed? That is, can you explain what this paper is adding to our understanding of a problem, question, or topic?
  • picture_as_pdf Thesis

The Writing Center • University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

Thesis Statements

What this handout is about.

This handout describes what a thesis statement is, how thesis statements work in your writing, and how you can craft or refine one for your draft.

Introduction

Writing in college often takes the form of persuasion—convincing others that you have an interesting, logical point of view on the subject you are studying. Persuasion is a skill you practice regularly in your daily life. You persuade your roommate to clean up, your parents to let you borrow the car, your friend to vote for your favorite candidate or policy. In college, course assignments often ask you to make a persuasive case in writing. You are asked to convince your reader of your point of view. This form of persuasion, often called academic argument, follows a predictable pattern in writing. After a brief introduction of your topic, you state your point of view on the topic directly and often in one sentence. This sentence is the thesis statement, and it serves as a summary of the argument you’ll make in the rest of your paper.

What is a thesis statement?

A thesis statement:

  • tells the reader how you will interpret the significance of the subject matter under discussion.
  • is a road map for the paper; in other words, it tells the reader what to expect from the rest of the paper.
  • directly answers the question asked of you. A thesis is an interpretation of a question or subject, not the subject itself. The subject, or topic, of an essay might be World War II or Moby Dick; a thesis must then offer a way to understand the war or the novel.
  • makes a claim that others might dispute.
  • is usually a single sentence near the beginning of your paper (most often, at the end of the first paragraph) that presents your argument to the reader. The rest of the paper, the body of the essay, gathers and organizes evidence that will persuade the reader of the logic of your interpretation.

If your assignment asks you to take a position or develop a claim about a subject, you may need to convey that position or claim in a thesis statement near the beginning of your draft. The assignment may not explicitly state that you need a thesis statement because your instructor may assume you will include one. When in doubt, ask your instructor if the assignment requires a thesis statement. When an assignment asks you to analyze, to interpret, to compare and contrast, to demonstrate cause and effect, or to take a stand on an issue, it is likely that you are being asked to develop a thesis and to support it persuasively. (Check out our handout on understanding assignments for more information.)

How do I create a thesis?

A thesis is the result of a lengthy thinking process. Formulating a thesis is not the first thing you do after reading an essay assignment. Before you develop an argument on any topic, you have to collect and organize evidence, look for possible relationships between known facts (such as surprising contrasts or similarities), and think about the significance of these relationships. Once you do this thinking, you will probably have a “working thesis” that presents a basic or main idea and an argument that you think you can support with evidence. Both the argument and your thesis are likely to need adjustment along the way.

Writers use all kinds of techniques to stimulate their thinking and to help them clarify relationships or comprehend the broader significance of a topic and arrive at a thesis statement. For more ideas on how to get started, see our handout on brainstorming .

How do I know if my thesis is strong?

If there’s time, run it by your instructor or make an appointment at the Writing Center to get some feedback. Even if you do not have time to get advice elsewhere, you can do some thesis evaluation of your own. When reviewing your first draft and its working thesis, ask yourself the following :

  • Do I answer the question? Re-reading the question prompt after constructing a working thesis can help you fix an argument that misses the focus of the question. If the prompt isn’t phrased as a question, try to rephrase it. For example, “Discuss the effect of X on Y” can be rephrased as “What is the effect of X on Y?”
  • Have I taken a position that others might challenge or oppose? If your thesis simply states facts that no one would, or even could, disagree with, it’s possible that you are simply providing a summary, rather than making an argument.
  • Is my thesis statement specific enough? Thesis statements that are too vague often do not have a strong argument. If your thesis contains words like “good” or “successful,” see if you could be more specific: why is something “good”; what specifically makes something “successful”?
  • Does my thesis pass the “So what?” test? If a reader’s first response is likely to  be “So what?” then you need to clarify, to forge a relationship, or to connect to a larger issue.
  • Does my essay support my thesis specifically and without wandering? If your thesis and the body of your essay do not seem to go together, one of them has to change. It’s okay to change your working thesis to reflect things you have figured out in the course of writing your paper. Remember, always reassess and revise your writing as necessary.
  • Does my thesis pass the “how and why?” test? If a reader’s first response is “how?” or “why?” your thesis may be too open-ended and lack guidance for the reader. See what you can add to give the reader a better take on your position right from the beginning.

Suppose you are taking a course on contemporary communication, and the instructor hands out the following essay assignment: “Discuss the impact of social media on public awareness.” Looking back at your notes, you might start with this working thesis:

Social media impacts public awareness in both positive and negative ways.

You can use the questions above to help you revise this general statement into a stronger thesis.

  • Do I answer the question? You can analyze this if you rephrase “discuss the impact” as “what is the impact?” This way, you can see that you’ve answered the question only very generally with the vague “positive and negative ways.”
  • Have I taken a position that others might challenge or oppose? Not likely. Only people who maintain that social media has a solely positive or solely negative impact could disagree.
  • Is my thesis statement specific enough? No. What are the positive effects? What are the negative effects?
  • Does my thesis pass the “how and why?” test? No. Why are they positive? How are they positive? What are their causes? Why are they negative? How are they negative? What are their causes?
  • Does my thesis pass the “So what?” test? No. Why should anyone care about the positive and/or negative impact of social media?

After thinking about your answers to these questions, you decide to focus on the one impact you feel strongly about and have strong evidence for:

Because not every voice on social media is reliable, people have become much more critical consumers of information, and thus, more informed voters.

This version is a much stronger thesis! It answers the question, takes a specific position that others can challenge, and it gives a sense of why it matters.

Let’s try another. Suppose your literature professor hands out the following assignment in a class on the American novel: Write an analysis of some aspect of Mark Twain’s novel Huckleberry Finn. “This will be easy,” you think. “I loved Huckleberry Finn!” You grab a pad of paper and write:

Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn is a great American novel.

You begin to analyze your thesis:

  • Do I answer the question? No. The prompt asks you to analyze some aspect of the novel. Your working thesis is a statement of general appreciation for the entire novel.

Think about aspects of the novel that are important to its structure or meaning—for example, the role of storytelling, the contrasting scenes between the shore and the river, or the relationships between adults and children. Now you write:

In Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain develops a contrast between life on the river and life on the shore.
  • Do I answer the question? Yes!
  • Have I taken a position that others might challenge or oppose? Not really. This contrast is well-known and accepted.
  • Is my thesis statement specific enough? It’s getting there–you have highlighted an important aspect of the novel for investigation. However, it’s still not clear what your analysis will reveal.
  • Does my thesis pass the “how and why?” test? Not yet. Compare scenes from the book and see what you discover. Free write, make lists, jot down Huck’s actions and reactions and anything else that seems interesting.
  • Does my thesis pass the “So what?” test? What’s the point of this contrast? What does it signify?”

After examining the evidence and considering your own insights, you write:

Through its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain’s Huckleberry Finn suggests that to find the true expression of American democratic ideals, one must leave “civilized” society and go back to nature.

This final thesis statement presents an interpretation of a literary work based on an analysis of its content. Of course, for the essay itself to be successful, you must now present evidence from the novel that will convince the reader of your interpretation.

Works consulted

We consulted these works while writing this handout. This is not a comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own research to find additional publications. Please do not use this list as a model for the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For guidance on formatting citations, please see the UNC Libraries citation tutorial . We revise these tips periodically and welcome feedback.

Anson, Chris M., and Robert A. Schwegler. 2010. The Longman Handbook for Writers and Readers , 6th ed. New York: Longman.

Lunsford, Andrea A. 2015. The St. Martin’s Handbook , 8th ed. Boston: Bedford/St Martin’s.

Ramage, John D., John C. Bean, and June Johnson. 2018. The Allyn & Bacon Guide to Writing , 8th ed. New York: Pearson.

Ruszkiewicz, John J., Christy Friend, Daniel Seward, and Maxine Hairston. 2010. The Scott, Foresman Handbook for Writers , 9th ed. Boston: Pearson Education.

You may reproduce it for non-commercial use if you use the entire handout and attribute the source: The Writing Center, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

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How to Write a Strong Thesis Statement

A thesis can be found in many places—a debate speech, a lawyer’s closing argument, even an advertisement. But the most common place for a thesis statement (and probably why you’re reading this article) is in an essay.

Whether you’re writing an argumentative paper, an informative essay, or a compare/contrast statement, you need a thesis. Without a thesis, your argument falls flat and your information is unfocused. Since a thesis is so important, it’s probably a good idea to look at some tips on how to put together a strong one.

Guide Overview

What is a “thesis statement” anyway.

  • 2 categories of thesis statements: informative and persuasive
  • 2 styles of thesis statements
  • Formula for a strong argumentative thesis
  • The qualities of a solid thesis statement (video)

You may have heard of something called a “thesis.” It’s what seniors commonly refer to as their final paper before graduation. That’s not what we’re talking about here. That type of thesis is a long, well-written paper that takes years to piece together.

Instead, we’re talking about a single sentence that ties together the main idea of any argument . In the context of student essays, it’s a statement that summarizes your topic and declares your position on it. This sentence can tell a reader whether your essay is something they want to read.

2 Categories of Thesis Statements: Informative and Persuasive

Just as there are different types of essays, there are different types of thesis statements. The thesis should match the essay.

For example, with an informative essay, you should compose an informative thesis (rather than argumentative). You want to declare your intentions in this essay and guide the reader to the conclusion that you reach.

To make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, you must procure the ingredients, find a knife, and spread the condiments.

This thesis showed the reader the topic (a type of sandwich) and the direction the essay will take (describing how the sandwich is made).

Most other types of essays, whether compare/contrast, argumentative, or narrative, have thesis statements that take a position and argue it. In other words, unless your purpose is simply to inform, your thesis is considered persuasive. A persuasive thesis usually contains an opinion and the reason why your opinion is true.

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are the best type of sandwich because they are versatile, easy to make, and taste good.

In this persuasive thesis statement, you see that I state my opinion (the best type of sandwich), which means I have chosen a stance. Next, I explain that my opinion is correct with several key reasons. This persuasive type of thesis can be used in any essay that contains the writer’s opinion, including, as I mentioned above, compare/contrast essays, narrative essays, and so on.

2 Styles of Thesis Statements

Just as there are two different types of thesis statements (informative and persuasive), there are two basic styles you can use.

The first style uses a list of two or more points . This style of thesis is perfect for a brief essay that contains only two or three body paragraphs. This basic five-paragraph essay is typical of middle and high school assignments.

C.S. Lewis’s Chronicles of Narnia series is one of the richest works of the 20th century because it offers an escape from reality, teaches readers to have faith even when they don’t understand, and contains a host of vibrant characters.

In the above persuasive thesis, you can see my opinion about Narnia followed by three clear reasons. This thesis is perfect for setting up a tidy five-paragraph essay.

In college, five paragraph essays become few and far between as essay length gets longer. Can you imagine having only five paragraphs in a six-page paper? For a longer essay, you need a thesis statement that is more versatile. Instead of listing two or three distinct points, a thesis can list one overarching point that all body paragraphs tie into.

Good vs. evil is the main theme of Lewis’s Narnia series, as is made clear through the struggles the main characters face in each book.

In this thesis, I have made a claim about the theme in Narnia followed by my reasoning. The broader scope of this thesis allows me to write about each of the series’ seven novels. I am no longer limited in how many body paragraphs I can logically use.

Formula for a Strong Argumentative Thesis

One thing I find that is helpful for students is having a clear template. While students rarely end up with a thesis that follows this exact wording, the following template creates a good starting point:

___________ is true because of ___________, ___________, and ___________.

Conversely, the formula for a thesis with only one point might follow this template:

___________________ is true because of _____________________.

Students usually end up using different terminology than simply “because,” but having a template is always helpful to get the creative juices flowing.

The Qualities of a Solid Thesis Statement

When composing a thesis, you must consider not only the format, but other qualities like length, position in the essay, and how strong the argument is.

Length: A thesis statement can be short or long, depending on how many points it mentions. Typically, however, it is only one concise sentence. It does contain at least two clauses, usually an independent clause (the opinion) and a dependent clause (the reasons). You probably should aim for a single sentence that is at least two lines, or about 30 to 40 words long.

Position: A thesis statement always belongs at the beginning of an essay. This is because it is a sentence that tells the reader what the writer is going to discuss. Teachers will have different preferences for the precise location of the thesis, but a good rule of thumb is in the introduction paragraph, within the last two or three sentences.

Strength: Finally, for a persuasive thesis to be strong, it needs to be arguable. This means that the statement is not obvious, and it is not something that everyone agrees is true.

Example of weak thesis:

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are easy to make because it just takes three ingredients.

Most people would agree that PB&J is one of the easiest sandwiches in the American lunch repertoire.

Example of a stronger thesis:

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are fun to eat because they always slide around.

This is more arguable because there are plenty of folks who might think a PB&J is messy or slimy rather than fun.

Composing a thesis statement does take a bit more thought than many other parts of an essay. However, because a thesis statement can contain an entire argument in just a few words, it is worth taking the extra time to compose this sentence. It can direct your research and your argument so that your essay is tight, focused, and makes readers think.

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How to Write a Solid Thesis Statement

The important sentence expresses your central assertion or argument

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  • Writing Research Papers
  • Writing Essays
  • English Grammar
  • M.Ed., Education Administration, University of Georgia
  • B.A., History, Armstrong State University

A thesis statement provides the foundation for your entire research paper or essay. This statement is the central assertion that you want to express in your essay. A successful thesis statement is one that is made up of one or two sentences clearly laying out your central idea and expressing an informed, reasoned answer to your research question.

Usually, the thesis statement will appear at the end of the first paragraph of your paper. There are a few different types, and the content of your thesis statement will depend upon the type of paper you’re writing.

Key Takeaways: Writing a Thesis Statement

  • A thesis statement gives your reader a preview of your paper's content by laying out your central idea and expressing an informed, reasoned answer to your research question.
  • Thesis statements will vary depending on the type of paper you are writing, such as an expository essay, argument paper, or analytical essay.
  • Before creating a thesis statement, determine whether you are defending a stance, giving an overview of an event, object, or process, or analyzing your subject

Expository Essay Thesis Statement Examples

An expository essay "exposes" the reader to a new topic; it informs the reader with details, descriptions, or explanations of a subject. If you are writing an expository essay , your thesis statement should explain to the reader what she will learn in your essay. For example:

  • The United States spends more money on its military budget than all the industrialized nations combined.
  • Gun-related homicides and suicides are increasing after years of decline.
  • Hate crimes have increased three years in a row, according to the FBI.
  • Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) increases the risk of stroke and arterial fibrillation (irregular heartbeat).

These statements provide a statement of fact about the topic (not just opinion) but leave the door open for you to elaborate with plenty of details. In an expository essay, you don't need to develop an argument or prove anything; you only need to understand your topic and present it in a logical manner. A good thesis statement in an expository essay always leaves the reader wanting more details.

Types of Thesis Statements

Before creating a thesis statement, it's important to ask a few basic questions, which will help you determine the kind of essay or paper you plan to create:

  • Are you defending a stance in a controversial essay ?
  • Are you simply giving an overview or describing an event, object, or process?
  • Are you conducting an analysis of an event, object, or process?

In every thesis statement , you will give the reader a preview of your paper's content, but the message will differ a little depending on the essay type .

Argument Thesis Statement Examples

If you have been instructed to take a stance on one side of a controversial issue, you will need to write an argument essay . Your thesis statement should express the stance you are taking and may give the reader a preview or a hint of your evidence. The thesis of an argument essay could look something like the following:

  • Self-driving cars are too dangerous and should be banned from the roadways.
  • The exploration of outer space is a waste of money; instead, funds should go toward solving issues on Earth, such as poverty, hunger, global warming, and traffic congestion.
  • The U.S. must crack down on illegal immigration.
  • Street cameras and street-view maps have led to a total loss of privacy in the United States and elsewhere.

These thesis statements are effective because they offer opinions that can be supported by evidence. If you are writing an argument essay, you can craft your own thesis around the structure of the statements above.

Analytical Essay Thesis Statement Examples

In an analytical essay assignment, you will be expected to break down a topic, process, or object in order to observe and analyze your subject piece by piece. Examples of a thesis statement for an analytical essay include:

  • The criminal justice reform bill passed by the U.S. Senate in late 2018 (" The First Step Act ") aims to reduce prison sentences that disproportionately fall on nonwhite criminal defendants.
  • The rise in populism and nationalism in the U.S. and European democracies has coincided with the decline of moderate and centrist parties that have dominated since WWII.
  • Later-start school days increase student success for a variety of reasons.

Because the role of the thesis statement is to state the central message of your entire paper, it is important to revisit (and maybe rewrite) your thesis statement after the paper is written. In fact, it is quite normal for your message to change as you construct your paper.

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7ESL

Mastering the Thesis Statement: Examples and Tips for Academic Success

What is the thesis statement? When it comes to writing an essay , there are many things that we must take into consideration in order to create a well-written and respected piece of work. One such thing is the thesis statement. Every good essay should have one and it needs to be well-written and well-thought-out. In this article, we are going to be looking at exactly what a thesis statement is and what it is used for as well as looking at some examples of the thesis statement as a way to gain a greater understanding of what its function is.

A thesis statement plays a crucial role in any well-crafted essay, as it helps both the writer and the reader establish the central point of the paper. Typically found near the end of the introduction, this sentence succinctly conveys the main idea the writer intends to communicate throughout the essay. Crafting a strong thesis statement increases the likelihood that the resulting essay will be cohesive, persuasive, and engaging for the audience.

Creating an effective thesis statement can, at times, be a challenging process. One useful method is to begin by exploring examples that illustrate the various ways in which thesis statements can be constructed, depending on the type of essay or paper being written. Studying these examples can help budding writers grasp the principles behind crafting compelling thesis statements, and serve as inspiration for their own work.

What Is A Thesis Statement?

Definition and purpose.

In the most simple terms, a thesis statement is a short statement that provides insight into what the essay is going to be about. They are used to enlighten the audience on a variety of things, including:

  • The main argument or point to be discussed.
  • The purpose of the essay.
  • The point of view of the author on a specific topic.

A thesis statement is a sentence that encapsulates the central point or main idea of a paper or essay. It is typically found near the end of the introduction and serves as a guide to the reader, outlining the writer’s stance on the topic. The thesis statement not only answers the question asked but also acts as a roadmap for the paper, indicating what the reader can expect throughout the rest of the paper.

The purpose of a thesis statement is two-fold:

  • To convey a clear and concise argument or position on the topic.
  • To inspire further discussion and responses from the audience.

It’s crucial for a thesis statement to be focused, specific, and arguable. A strong thesis is easy to understand and provides a solid foundation for supporting evidence within the paper.

Types of Thesis Statements

Argumentative thesis statement.

An argumentative thesis statement is a claim that takes a strong position on an issue. This type of thesis statement aims to persuade the reader to accept the writer’s viewpoint by presenting logical reasoning and supporting evidence. It is essential to have a clear and concise argumentative thesis statement to guide the rest of the essay.

For example: “ Public transportation should be free in metropolitan areas to reduce carbon emissions and economic inequalities.”

Expository Essay Thesis Statement

An expository essay thesis statement highlights a specific issue or fact that the writer will explain or analyze throughout the essay. This type of thesis should be informative and objective, without taking a strong stance on the issue.

For example: “ High-level competitive athletes face numerous physical, mental, and emotional challenges throughout their careers. ”

Persuasive Thesis Statement

A persuasive thesis statement is similar to an argumentative thesis statement, but it aims to convince the reader to take action or adopt the writer’s viewpoint through emotional appeal and relatable examples. The persuasive thesis statement should be thought-provoking and debatable.

For example: “ Animal shelters should require background checks and home visits to ensure responsible pet adoption and prevent animal abuse. ”

Compare and Contrast Thesis Statement

A compare-and-contrast thesis statement sets the stage for an essay comparing or contrasting two or more subjects. This type of thesis statement may highlight similarities, differences, or a mix of both. It is crucial to establish a basis for comparison to provide a clear focus for the essay.

For example: “ While both public and private universities offer a variety of educational opportunities, the differences in cost, class size, and campus environment directly impact a student’s experience .”

By understanding and applying these types of thesis statements, writers can effectively tailor their essays’ tone and focus to suit their specific purpose and audience.

How Is A Thesis Statement Used?

As we mentioned a thesis statement is used to point out the main argument of the essay. There are certain rules that should be followed by the thesis statement. Let’s take a look at these in a little more detail.

  • A thesis statement should appear in the introduction of the essay to layout the main topic and the author’s stance on it. It should also appear in the conclusion of the essay, where the author can refer back to it.
  • A thesis statement should be a short statement of only one or two sentences that delivers clear and concise information.
  • The thesis statement will directly answer the main question posed by the essay, for example, if the essay question were ‘What is the biggest tourist attraction in France?’ The thesis statement might directly reply to this with ‘With over 6 million visitors each year, the Eiffel Tower is clearly the biggest tourist attraction in France.’ If the essay topic doesn’t contain a question, you can fashion one yourself.
  • Many people use the ‘so what?’ technique when writing a thesis statement. If a reader is likely to think ‘so what?’ when starting your essay, you can use the thesis statement to form a relationship and a connection to the issue that will engage the reader and make them care about what is going to be talked about.
  • Similarly to the above point, a thesis statement should answer why or how questions that the reader may have. Look again at the example of the Eiffel Tower, the statement clearly shows the reader why the tower is the biggest tourist attraction in France using real statistics that cannot be ignored. But in the same breath, gives the reader the chance to dispute the information. This is another key point to the thesis statement. A reader should be able to look at the thesis statement and disagree with it, this might encourage them to research the topic themselves.
  • A thesis statement should agree with the body of the essay. If it does not, then it should be amended. Using the example of the French tourist attraction once again, the body of that essay would need to go into further detail about the tourist attractions in France and further prove why the Eiffel Tower is the most popular.

Creating a Strong Thesis Statement

Identifying your topic and scope.

When creating a strong thesis statement, it is essential to first identify your topic and the scope of your paper. You should consider the central idea you want to communicate and its impact on your field of study, whether it’s art, education, or environmental studies. A solid thesis statement should focus on a single aspect of your research, avoiding general terms or abstractions. Keep it clear and specific to ensure it effectively guides both you and the reader through your argument.

Forming a Debatable Claim

An argumentative thesis statement should present a debatable claim, one that reasonable people could disagree with. This means that it should not merely be a statement of fact, but rather an assertion that invites different opinions. For example, a debatable claim on nationalism could be, “Nationalism contributed to the rise of populism in the 21st century.” This claim allows for various arguments, opinions, and contextual interpretations.

Providing Evidence

A strong thesis statement should also set the stage for presenting evidence supporting your claim. In a research paper, this means providing an overview of the key elements and sources you will use to build your argument. For an argumentative essay, be prepared to provide well-researched and detailed evidence to back up your claim, whether it’s regarding renewable energy sources, the history of race and gender, or the role of nationalism in shaping global politics.

Here are some tips to help you write a strong thesis statement:

  • Make sure it’s clear and concise, typically consisting of one or two sentences.
  • Ensure that it’s focused and specific enough to be “proven” within the boundaries of your paper.
  • Position it near the end of your essay’s introduction or within the first paragraph.

By following these guidelines and being mindful of your topic, scope, and evidence, you will be able to craft a powerful thesis statement that engages your audience and sets the stage for a successful research or argumentative paper.

Explore more: How To Write A Thesis Statement

Thesis Statement Examples

Argumentative thesis examples.

An argumentative thesis aims to establish a position and persuade the reader with evidence and reasoning. Examples include:

  • Though populism may fundamentally challenge traditional political structures, its effects on social and economic policies are necessary for a more equitable society.
  • Social media platforms are responsible for the increasing polarization of opinions and must adopt measures to limit the spread of misinformation.

Expository Essay Thesis Examples

An expository essay thesis presents facts, evidence, or an explanation without taking a persuasive stance. Examples include:

  • The process of photosynthesis is fundamental to the survival of plants and the ecosystems they support, providing energy for growth and reproduction.
  • Urbanization has led to numerous social, economic, and environmental consequences, including increased housing demand, traffic congestion, and pollution.

Persuasive Thesis Examples

A persuasive thesis seeks to convince the reader of a particular argument or opinion. Examples include:

  • The benefits of implementing a universal basic income outweigh the potential drawbacks, as it can alleviate poverty and provide residents with more financial security.
  • Investing in renewable energy sources is essential for combating climate change and ensuring a sustainable future for subsequent generations.

Compare and Contrast Thesis Examples

A compare and contrast thesis highlights the similarities and differences between two or more subjects. Examples include:

  • While both traditional and online education offer unique advantages and challenges, the flexibility and accessibility of online learning make it a more suitable option for students juggling work and personal responsibilities.
  • Despite similarities in their genre and themes, the novels “Pride and Prejudice” and “Wuthering Heights” differ significantly in their narrative styles and characterization.

Using these examples, you can create strong thesis statements tailored to your essay’s specific topic and goals. Remember to provide a clear and concise thesis that effectively showcases your argument, opinion, or comparison in a confident, knowledgeable, and neutral tone.

Thesis Statement Examples: Issues to Consider

Impact on society.

When creating a thesis statement, it’s essential to consider the potential impacts on society. The chosen topic may address issues such as education, war, and nationalism. For example, the thesis statement might analyze the effects of changing educational policies on different classes of society. This could include exploring access to education for low-income households or the impact of privatization on public schools. It is crucial to examine how the thesis topic relates to societal issues and incorporates them into the statement.

Related: Social Issues

Race, Gender, and Class

It is important to address issues related to race, gender, and class when developing thesis statements. For instance, research papers might examine inequalities in the workplace or disparities in access to resources. Such studies should think about context and historical background, comparing and contrasting the experiences of different groups. Here are some examples.

  • Gender : An examination of the gender pay gap across various industries
  • Race : A comparison of racial profiling incidents in law enforcement across different communities
  • Class : Exploring the impact of socio-economic status on healthcare access and outcomes

Consider using tables and bullet points to help present data and findings more effectively.

Environmental Concerns

Lastly, incorporating environmental concerns into thesis statements is essential, especially in today’s world, where sustainability and environmental protection are vital. Research papers might address issues such as pollution, waste management, or the effects of climate change on marginalized communities. For example, a thesis statement could focus on exploring the consequences of a specific eco-friendly initiative in a local community, or how environmental policies have evolved over time.

Keep in mind to maintain a confident, knowledgeable, neutral, and clear tone of voice throughout the section, focusing on accurate information and avoiding exaggerated or false claims.

Examples of Thesis Statements in Different Essay Types

In a narrative essay , the thesis statement revolves around the story being told. It is typically centered on a specific event, person, or experience that had a significant impact on the writer. The thesis statement in a narrative essay serves as a brief preview of what the reader can expect. It should provide some insight into the writer’s personal connection to the topic and help set the stage for the narrative to unfold.

For example:

The moment she won the lottery, Mary’s life changed forever, teaching her the importance of cherishing every moment with her loved ones.

An analytical essay breaks down a topic into its main components and presents an evaluation or interpretation of the topic based on those components. The thesis statement in an analytical essay should clearly state the issue or idea that will be analyzed and its essential elements. This type of statement should provide enough information to guide the reader through the essay and highlight the central points of analysis.

By examining the symbolism, characterization, and theme of “The Great Gatsby,” it becomes evident that Fitzgerald uses these techniques to criticize the American Dream’s materialism and superficiality.

Argumentative

In an argumentative essay , the thesis statement takes a clear, definitive stance on a specific issue or question. This type of thesis statement aims to persuade readers of the writer’s viewpoint and provide logical and supporting evidence to back up the claim. The thesis should be concise, specific, and controversial enough to encourage debate from various perspectives.

Although some people argue that video games can be beneficial, this essay will demonstrate that excessive video gaming is linked to increased violent behavior, addiction, and social isolation, and therefore requires stricter regulation.

Cause and Effect

A cause-and-effect essay explores the relationship between certain events, actions, or conditions and their respective outcomes. The thesis statement in a cause-and-effect essay should establish the connection between the cause and the effect, asserting a causal connection between the two. This type of thesis statement should present a clear, coherent structure to guide the reader through the essay and should establish the relationship between the cause and the effect.

The widespread use of smartphones has led to increased incidents of sleep deprivation among teenagers, resulting in declining academic performance, mood disorders, and health issues.

These are examples of how thesis statements can vary based on the type of essay and showcase the importance of tailoring the thesis statement to fit the specific requirements of each essay style.

More Thesis Statement Examples

Now that we are clear on what a thesis statement is and how it can be used, we are going to take a look at some examples of strong and effective thesis statements. This will give you a better idea on what they should contain and how they function within an essay.

American Education

The American education system has been evolving, and it is essential to have a clear thesis statement when discussing the topic. Here’s an example:

The integration of technology in American schools has significantly enhanced the learning experience of students, resulting in improved academic performance.

In this example, it highlights the positive impact of technology on the education system. It also provides a concise view that can be explored and supported through research and relevant statistics.

Internet and Society

The internet has changed the way society functions in various capacities. Here is a thesis statement example that can be used to discuss the relationship between the internet and society:

The widespread use of the internet has drastically altered societal interactions, affecting the population’s ability to communicate, access information, and maintain personal privacy.

This statement outlines the primary effects of the internet on society and can be further developed through specific examples and analysis. This statement can be supported through studies, data, and real-life cases that demonstrate the impact of the internet on communication, information access, and privacy concerns.

List of Thesis Statement Examples

  • Owing to the fact that many children are not being vaccinated because of illness, it is now imperative that we make it a requirement that healthy children are vaccinated in order to stop the spread of disease.
  • For families on a low income, schools should provide basic equipment such as pens, calculators and laptops.
  • Whilst school uniforms are expensive, they do provide security and a sense of belonging to students and for this reason, are an integral part of the school system.
  • Many public libraries are closing down due to lack of interest but these are important resources within the community and we should fight to keep them open.
  • With the internet becoming ever more popular and accessible to teenagers, cyber bullying is massively on the rise. A large number of cyber bullying cases end in suicide and it is down to parents and schools to tackle this growing problem.
  • Cannabis is not legal in many countries and states and this is for good reason. The drug is known to diminish the brain cells and regardless of how it might relax pain and anxiety, it should not be legalised.
  • Too many people are taking time of work for stress-related reasons and so it is more important than ever for workplaces to provide internal activities to combat this problem.
  • Many parents do not like the idea of their children being taught sex education at an early age but unfortunately in this day and age, it is a necessity if we want to keep children safe.

Avoiding Common Mistakes

When writing a thesis statement, it is essential to avoid common mistakes that may weaken your argument or confuse your reader. In this section, we will discuss two main pitfalls to avoid: Overgeneralizing and Using Weak or Vague Language.

Overgeneralizing

Overgeneralizing refers to making broad, sweeping claims in your thesis statement without providing specific, concrete evidence to support them. To avoid overgeneralization, focus on providing a clear and concise argument, grounded in solid research and evidence. Brainstorm specific examples or points you will address in your paper that support your thesis. For example, if your thesis is about a controversial topic, make sure your argument is based on valid research and takes a clear direction, rather than making generalized statements.

To prevent overgeneralization in your thesis statement:

  • Narrow the focus of your argument.
  • Ensure your claim is specific and backed up by evidence.
  • Be consistent with the goals and direction outlined in your paper.

Using Weak or Vague Language

Using weak or vague language in your thesis statement can result in a lack of clarity and create confusion for your reader. To maintain a strong, clear, and convincing thesis, avoid using weak or unclear terms, such as “interesting” or “might.” Instead, use assertive and definitive language that demonstrates your confidence and knowledge of the subject matter. For instance, if you are writing about a potential solution to a problem, make sure to express your stance in a strong, clear way to entice your reader and promise valuable insights.

To strengthen the language of your thesis statement:

  • Avoid using vague or ambiguous terms.
  • Use clear, specific language that directly communicates your argument.
  • Stay focused on your main points and the direction of your paper.

Keeping these tips in mind and utilizing clear language will contribute to a stronger, more effective thesis statement.

Crafting Engaging Introductions and Conclusions

Writing a hook.

A successful introduction begins with an attention-grabbing hook. A hook is an opening statement that piques the reader’s interest and encourages them to continue reading. There are various types of hooks, such as using a quote, posing a question, or stating an intriguing fact. The hook should be relevant to the topic and set the tone for the rest of the article.

Connecting Thesis Statement to Conclusion

The conclusion of an academic paper should restate the thesis statement and summarize the main points discussed in the body paragraphs. However, it’s important to do this in a way that doesn’t merely repeat the same information, but instead provides a sense of closure and emphasizes the significance of the topic.

One way to achieve this is by connecting the thesis statement to the conclusion through the use of topic sentences and counterarguments. A well-crafted topic sentence should introduce the main idea of a body paragraph, while a counterargument addresses potential objections to the thesis statement. Utilizing these elements effectively throughout the paper creates a sense of cohesion and allows for a smooth transition from the introduction to the conclusion.

By incorporating engaging hooks and thoughtfully connecting the thesis statement to the conclusion, the reader is more likely to be drawn into the article and appreciate the depth of the content presented.

Thesis Statement Infographic

Thesis Statement: Definition, Useful Tips and Examples of Thesis Statement

A thesis statement is made up of one or two sentences and gives the author the chance to tell the reader what the essay is going to be about as well as their stance on the topic. It should be clear and concise and should always tie in with the body paragraphs of the essay .

Whilst there are many points to consider when writing a thesis statement, a well-written one can answer a question and engage the reader in the essay. Sticking with the ‘rules’ of the thesis statement will allow the author to craft a well-written and relevant essay.

FAQs on Thesis Statement

What is a thesis statement.

A thesis statement is a sentence or two in an essay or research paper that presents the main argument or central idea of the paper. It tells the reader what to expect, guides the structure of the paper, and directly answers the question or topic being discussed.

How do I write a thesis statement?

There are four simple steps to write a thesis statement:

  • Start with a question : Identify the topic or question your paper will explore.
  • Write your initial answer : This should be a concise statement that provides a preliminary answer to the question.
  • Develop your answer : Expand on your initial answer by considering its implications, context, and evidence.
  • Refine your thesis statement : Revise and refine your statement to make it clear, specific, and arguable.

Where should the thesis statement be placed?

The placement of the thesis statement varies depending on the type of paper or essay. However, a common place for the thesis statement is at the end of the introduction paragraph, making it easier for the reader to identify the main argument early in the text.

What makes a good thesis statement?

A good thesis statement should be:

  • Clear : It should communicate your main point without confusion.
  • Specific : It should focus on a single topic or argument.
  • Arguable : It should present a claim that people can reasonably disagree on.
  • Relevant : It should relate to the purpose of the paper and contribute to its overall message.

What are the different types of thesis statements?

There are two main types of thesis statements:

  • Analytical : An analytical thesis breaks down an issue or idea into its component parts, evaluates the issue or idea, and presents the breakdown and evaluation to the audience.
  • Expository (explanatory) : An expository thesis explains something to the audience.

Remember, as you work on your thesis statement, keep the rest of your paper in mind to ensure that it aligns with the paper’s overall content and objective.

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25 Thesis Statement Examples That Will Make Writing a Breeze

JBirdwellBranson

Understanding what makes a good thesis statement is one of the major keys to writing a great research paper or argumentative essay. The thesis statement is where you make a claim that will guide you through your entire paper. If you find yourself struggling to make sense of your paper or your topic, then it's likely due to a weak thesis statement.

Let's take a minute to first understand what makes a solid thesis statement, and what key components you need to write one of your own.

Perfecting Your Thesis Statement

A thesis statement always goes at the beginning of the paper. It will typically be in the first couple of paragraphs of the paper so that it can introduce the body paragraphs, which are the supporting evidence for your thesis statement.

Your thesis statement should clearly identify an argument. You need to have a statement that is not only easy to understand, but one that is debatable. What that means is that you can't just put any statement of fact and have it be your thesis. For example, everyone knows that puppies are cute . An ineffective thesis statement would be, "Puppies are adorable and everyone knows it." This isn't really something that's a debatable topic.

Something that would be more debatable would be, "A puppy's cuteness is derived from its floppy ears, small body, and playfulness." These are three things that can be debated on. Some people might think that the cutest thing about puppies is the fact that they follow you around or that they're really soft and fuzzy.

All cuteness aside, you want to make sure that your thesis statement is not only debatable, but that it also actually thoroughly answers the research question that was posed. You always want to make sure that your evidence is supporting a claim that you made (and not the other way around). This is why it's crucial to read and research about a topic first and come to a conclusion later. If you try to get your research to fit your thesis statement, then it may not work out as neatly as you think. As you learn more, you discover more (and the outcome may not be what you originally thought).

Additionally, your thesis statement shouldn't be too big or too grand. It'll be hard to cover everything in a thesis statement like, "The federal government should act now on climate change." The topic is just too large to actually say something new and meaningful. Instead, a more effective thesis statement might be, "Local governments can combat climate change by providing citizens with larger recycling bins and offering local classes about composting and conservation." This is easier to work with because it's a smaller idea, but you can also discuss the overall topic that you might be interested in, which is climate change.

So, now that we know what makes a good, solid thesis statement, you can start to write your own. If you find that you're getting stuck or you are the type of person who needs to look at examples before you start something, then check out our list of thesis statement examples below.

Thesis statement examples

A quick note that these thesis statements have not been fully researched. These are merely examples to show you what a thesis statement might look like and how you can implement your own ideas into one that you think of independently. As such, you should not use these thesis statements for your own research paper purposes. They are meant to be used as examples only.

  • Vaccinations Because many children are unable to vaccinate due to illness, we must require that all healthy and able children be vaccinated in order to have herd immunity.
  • Educational Resources for Low-Income Students Schools should provide educational resources for low-income students during the summers so that they don't forget what they've learned throughout the school year.
  • School Uniforms School uniforms may be an upfront cost for families, but they eradicate the visual differences in income between students and provide a more egalitarian atmosphere at school.
  • Populism The rise in populism on the 2016 political stage was in reaction to increasing globalization, the decline of manufacturing jobs, and the Syrian refugee crisis.
  • Public Libraries Libraries are essential resources for communities and should be funded more heavily by local municipalities.
  • Cyber Bullying With more and more teens using smartphones and social media, cyber bullying is on the rise. Cyber bullying puts a lot of stress on many teens, and can cause depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts. Parents should limit the usage of smart phones, monitor their children's online activity, and report any cyber bullying to school officials in order to combat this problem.
  • Medical Marijuana for Veterans Studies have shown that the use of medicinal marijuana has been helpful to veterans who suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Medicinal marijuana prescriptions should be legal in all states and provided to these veterans. Additional medical or therapy services should also be researched and implemented in order to help them re-integrate back into civilian life.
  • Work-Life Balance Corporations should provide more work from home opportunities and six-hour workdays so that office workers have a better work-life balance and are more likely to be productive when they are in the office.
  • Teaching Youths about Consensual Sex Although sex education that includes a discussion of consensual sex would likely lead to less sexual assault, parents need to teach their children the meaning of consent from a young age with age appropriate lessons.
  • Whether or Not to Attend University A degree from a university provides invaluable lessons on life and a future career, but not every high school student should be encouraged to attend a university directly after graduation. Some students may benefit from a trade school or a "gap year" where they can think more intensely about what it is they want to do for a career and how they can accomplish this.
  • Studying Abroad Studying abroad is one of the most culturally valuable experiences you can have in college. It is the only way to get completely immersed in another language and learn how other cultures and countries are different from your own.
  • Women's Body Image Magazines have done a lot in the last five years to include a more diverse group of models, but there is still a long way to go to promote a healthy woman's body image collectively as a culture.
  • Cigarette Tax Heavily taxing and increasing the price of cigarettes is essentially a tax on the poorest Americans, and it doesn't deter them from purchasing. Instead, the state and federal governments should target those economically disenfranchised with early education about the dangers of smoking.
  • Veganism A vegan diet, while a healthy and ethical way to consume food, indicates a position of privilege. It also limits you to other cultural food experiences if you travel around the world.
  • University Athletes Should be Compensated University athletes should be compensated for their service to the university, as it is difficult for these students to procure and hold a job with busy academic and athletic schedules. Many student athletes on scholarship also come from low-income neighborhoods and it is a struggle to make ends meet when they are participating in athletics.
  • Women in the Workforce Sheryl Sandberg makes a lot of interesting points in her best-selling book, Lean In , but she only addressed the very privileged working woman and failed to speak to those in lower-skilled, lower-wage jobs.
  • Assisted Suicide Assisted suicide should be legal and doctors should have the ability to make sure their patients have the end-of-life care that they want to receive.
  • Celebrity and Political Activism Although Taylor Swift's lyrics are indicative of a feminist perspective, she should be more politically active and vocal to use her position of power for the betterment of society.
  • The Civil War The insistence from many Southerners that the South seceded from the Union for states' rights versus the fact that they seceded for the purposes of continuing slavery is a harmful myth that still affects race relations today.
  • Blue Collar Workers Coal miners and other blue-collar workers whose jobs are slowly disappearing from the workforce should be re-trained in jobs in the technology sector or in renewable energy. A program to re-train these workers would not only improve local economies where jobs have been displaced, but would also lead to lower unemployment nationally.
  • Diversity in the Workforce Having a diverse group of people in an office setting leads to richer ideas, more cooperation, and more empathy between people with different skin colors or backgrounds.
  • Re-Imagining the Nuclear Family The nuclear family was traditionally defined as one mother, one father, and 2.5 children. This outdated depiction of family life doesn't quite fit with modern society. The definition of normal family life shouldn't be limited to two-parent households.
  • Digital Literacy Skills With more information readily available than ever before, it's crucial that students are prepared to examine the material they're reading and determine whether or not it's a good source or if it has misleading information. Teaching students digital literacy and helping them to understand the difference between opinion or propaganda from legitimate, real information is integral.
  • Beauty Pageants Beauty pageants are presented with the angle that they empower women. However, putting women in a swimsuit on a stage while simultaneously judging them on how well they answer an impossible question in a short period of time is cruel and purely for the amusement of men. Therefore, we should stop televising beauty pageants.
  • Supporting More Women to Run for a Political Position In order to get more women into political positions, more women must run for office. There must be a grassroots effort to educate women on how to run for office, who among them should run, and support for a future candidate for getting started on a political career.

Still stuck? Need some help with your thesis statement?

If you are still uncertain about how to write a thesis statement or what a good thesis statement is, be sure to consult with your teacher or professor to make sure you're on the right track. It's always a good idea to check in and make sure that your thesis statement is making a solid argument and that it can be supported by your research.

After you're done writing, it's important to have someone take a second look at your paper so that you can ensure there are no mistakes or errors. It's difficult to spot your own mistakes, which is why it's always recommended to have someone help you with the revision process, whether that's a teacher, the writing center at school, or a professional editor such as one from ServiceScape .

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101 So What? and Thesis Statements

essay what statement

Quick Write

What questions do you have about the Literary Analysis?

Sample Essays

The Misfits

Loving a Broken Girl

The Hidden Complexities of Clemencia

Chapter 7, Who Cares?

Chapter 7 explains the importance of addressing the “so what?” and “who cares?” questions when writing and making an argument. You essays will become stronger once you begin addressing these questions in your writing.

The “who cares?” question considers who has a stake in the argument. The “so what?” helps the reader understand what the larger implications or consequences of the topic are.

These questions work great in many parts of your essays. They are especially helpful for writers who struggle with introductions and conclusions. A good tip is to address these questions in the introduction and conclusions.

Thesis Statements

essay what statement

a short  statement , usually one sentence, that summarizes the main point or claim of an essay, research paper, etc., and is developed, supported, and explained in the text by  means  of examples and evidence.

A thesis is the topic of the paper and the position you are taking.

It needs to be narrow and debatable; i.e. makes a claim.

Developing Strong Thesis Statements

Work on writing a thesis statement for your essay. If you have one, did you meet the guidelines we talked about?

Topic, So What?

Who are the people that care about your topic? Who has a stake in the matter?

Brainstorm for three minutes all the groups who have a stake in the argument.

Quick Write

Draft a paragraph, introduction or conclusion, incorporating the so what? and who cares? factors.

This is important because ___________ . . . This essay will benefit _______________, because _____________________. . .

Comment below with your paragraph.

  • Rough draft of literary analysis for Peer Review

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5 thoughts on “ 101 so what and thesis statements ”.

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This is important because people go in search for love thinking it will make them happy but what most people don’t know is that love lives inside us and that love inside us is unconditional bliss and love. This essay will benefit everyone who is searching for love, because love doesn’t need to be found, love is within us and the moment we realize that we will become love and love will come our way effortless.

Cheating is important because the effects of it reach more than just the person who is cheating and the person who is getting cheated on.

This essay will benefit people who have experienced cheating first hand or second hand, because it will help them see a different point of view.

The perspective provided by Sandra Cisneros in her short story, “Never Marry A Mexican,” is unique as it allows readers to sympathize with the suffering of an adulterer. This is important as it enables the audience to understand the rationale of someone who is often painted as villainous while having their perspective completely disregarded. People who are considered cheaters or adulterers may be painted as menaces to society without the opportunity to explain the reasoning behind their choices.

In the story, “Eleven”, Rachel the main character discusses how on her birthday it was difficult to act eleven. As her birthday went on, there would be moments where she would feel like crying but that would be two year old inside wanting to cry, or when willing to speak up to have a voice but she couldn’t, referring to the seven year old with a low voice. This is important because as I read the story I was able to relate, which meaning I am not the only one who felt this way. When going threw that phase, you ask yourself what is the reason why you feel this way. This essay will benefit people who have gone threw this because when growing up as a kid there are rules when being a child and there are roles or more responsibilities when growing up. When being small you are told what to do and when hitting a certain age, you must build the true person you really are on what you have learned in life and act upon it. So in the story’s scenario, I feel Rachel was confused on how she should act or what is appropriate, since she was feeling the emotions as she was smaller and entering situations on protecting herself. To stand up for herself as the age she really is.

Cheating and adultery are important because they aren’t talked about enough with an open mind and are just brushed off as wrong instead, even though the people who commit these acts can sometimes be manipulated into believing it’s the only way they can be happy.

This essay will benefit anyone who has been put into similar positions or are willing to see cheating and adultery from a different perspective, because it highlights a side of cheating and adultery that is not talked about often enough.

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  • How to structure an essay: Templates and tips

How to Structure an Essay | Tips & Templates

Published on September 18, 2020 by Jack Caulfield . Revised on July 23, 2023.

The basic structure of an essay always consists of an introduction , a body , and a conclusion . But for many students, the most difficult part of structuring an essay is deciding how to organize information within the body.

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Table of contents

The basics of essay structure, chronological structure, compare-and-contrast structure, problems-methods-solutions structure, signposting to clarify your structure, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about essay structure.

There are two main things to keep in mind when working on your essay structure: making sure to include the right information in each part, and deciding how you’ll organize the information within the body.

Parts of an essay

The three parts that make up all essays are described in the table below.

Part Content

Order of information

You’ll also have to consider how to present information within the body. There are a few general principles that can guide you here.

The first is that your argument should move from the simplest claim to the most complex . The body of a good argumentative essay often begins with simple and widely accepted claims, and then moves towards more complex and contentious ones.

For example, you might begin by describing a generally accepted philosophical concept, and then apply it to a new topic. The grounding in the general concept will allow the reader to understand your unique application of it.

The second principle is that background information should appear towards the beginning of your essay . General background is presented in the introduction. If you have additional background to present, this information will usually come at the start of the body.

The third principle is that everything in your essay should be relevant to the thesis . Ask yourself whether each piece of information advances your argument or provides necessary background. And make sure that the text clearly expresses each piece of information’s relevance.

The sections below present several organizational templates for essays: the chronological approach, the compare-and-contrast approach, and the problems-methods-solutions approach.

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essay what statement

The chronological approach (sometimes called the cause-and-effect approach) is probably the simplest way to structure an essay. It just means discussing events in the order in which they occurred, discussing how they are related (i.e. the cause and effect involved) as you go.

A chronological approach can be useful when your essay is about a series of events. Don’t rule out other approaches, though—even when the chronological approach is the obvious one, you might be able to bring out more with a different structure.

Explore the tabs below to see a general template and a specific example outline from an essay on the invention of the printing press.

  • Thesis statement
  • Discussion of event/period
  • Consequences
  • Importance of topic
  • Strong closing statement
  • Claim that the printing press marks the end of the Middle Ages
  • Background on the low levels of literacy before the printing press
  • Thesis statement: The invention of the printing press increased circulation of information in Europe, paving the way for the Reformation
  • High levels of illiteracy in medieval Europe
  • Literacy and thus knowledge and education were mainly the domain of religious and political elites
  • Consequence: this discouraged political and religious change
  • Invention of the printing press in 1440 by Johannes Gutenberg
  • Implications of the new technology for book production
  • Consequence: Rapid spread of the technology and the printing of the Gutenberg Bible
  • Trend for translating the Bible into vernacular languages during the years following the printing press’s invention
  • Luther’s own translation of the Bible during the Reformation
  • Consequence: The large-scale effects the Reformation would have on religion and politics
  • Summarize the history described
  • Stress the significance of the printing press to the events of this period

Essays with two or more main subjects are often structured around comparing and contrasting . For example, a literary analysis essay might compare two different texts, and an argumentative essay might compare the strengths of different arguments.

There are two main ways of structuring a compare-and-contrast essay: the alternating method, and the block method.

Alternating

In the alternating method, each paragraph compares your subjects in terms of a specific point of comparison. These points of comparison are therefore what defines each paragraph.

The tabs below show a general template for this structure, and a specific example for an essay comparing and contrasting distance learning with traditional classroom learning.

  • Synthesis of arguments
  • Topical relevance of distance learning in lockdown
  • Increasing prevalence of distance learning over the last decade
  • Thesis statement: While distance learning has certain advantages, it introduces multiple new accessibility issues that must be addressed for it to be as effective as classroom learning
  • Classroom learning: Ease of identifying difficulties and privately discussing them
  • Distance learning: Difficulty of noticing and unobtrusively helping
  • Classroom learning: Difficulties accessing the classroom (disability, distance travelled from home)
  • Distance learning: Difficulties with online work (lack of tech literacy, unreliable connection, distractions)
  • Classroom learning: Tends to encourage personal engagement among students and with teacher, more relaxed social environment
  • Distance learning: Greater ability to reach out to teacher privately
  • Sum up, emphasize that distance learning introduces more difficulties than it solves
  • Stress the importance of addressing issues with distance learning as it becomes increasingly common
  • Distance learning may prove to be the future, but it still has a long way to go

In the block method, each subject is covered all in one go, potentially across multiple paragraphs. For example, you might write two paragraphs about your first subject and then two about your second subject, making comparisons back to the first.

The tabs again show a general template, followed by another essay on distance learning, this time with the body structured in blocks.

  • Point 1 (compare)
  • Point 2 (compare)
  • Point 3 (compare)
  • Point 4 (compare)
  • Advantages: Flexibility, accessibility
  • Disadvantages: Discomfort, challenges for those with poor internet or tech literacy
  • Advantages: Potential for teacher to discuss issues with a student in a separate private call
  • Disadvantages: Difficulty of identifying struggling students and aiding them unobtrusively, lack of personal interaction among students
  • Advantages: More accessible to those with low tech literacy, equality of all sharing one learning environment
  • Disadvantages: Students must live close enough to attend, commutes may vary, classrooms not always accessible for disabled students
  • Advantages: Ease of picking up on signs a student is struggling, more personal interaction among students
  • Disadvantages: May be harder for students to approach teacher privately in person to raise issues

An essay that concerns a specific problem (practical or theoretical) may be structured according to the problems-methods-solutions approach.

This is just what it sounds like: You define the problem, characterize a method or theory that may solve it, and finally analyze the problem, using this method or theory to arrive at a solution. If the problem is theoretical, the solution might be the analysis you present in the essay itself; otherwise, you might just present a proposed solution.

The tabs below show a template for this structure and an example outline for an essay about the problem of fake news.

  • Introduce the problem
  • Provide background
  • Describe your approach to solving it
  • Define the problem precisely
  • Describe why it’s important
  • Indicate previous approaches to the problem
  • Present your new approach, and why it’s better
  • Apply the new method or theory to the problem
  • Indicate the solution you arrive at by doing so
  • Assess (potential or actual) effectiveness of solution
  • Describe the implications
  • Problem: The growth of “fake news” online
  • Prevalence of polarized/conspiracy-focused news sources online
  • Thesis statement: Rather than attempting to stamp out online fake news through social media moderation, an effective approach to combating it must work with educational institutions to improve media literacy
  • Definition: Deliberate disinformation designed to spread virally online
  • Popularization of the term, growth of the phenomenon
  • Previous approaches: Labeling and moderation on social media platforms
  • Critique: This approach feeds conspiracies; the real solution is to improve media literacy so users can better identify fake news
  • Greater emphasis should be placed on media literacy education in schools
  • This allows people to assess news sources independently, rather than just being told which ones to trust
  • This is a long-term solution but could be highly effective
  • It would require significant organization and investment, but would equip people to judge news sources more effectively
  • Rather than trying to contain the spread of fake news, we must teach the next generation not to fall for it

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Signposting means guiding the reader through your essay with language that describes or hints at the structure of what follows.  It can help you clarify your structure for yourself as well as helping your reader follow your ideas.

The essay overview

In longer essays whose body is split into multiple named sections, the introduction often ends with an overview of the rest of the essay. This gives a brief description of the main idea or argument of each section.

The overview allows the reader to immediately understand what will be covered in the essay and in what order. Though it describes what  comes later in the text, it is generally written in the present tense . The following example is from a literary analysis essay on Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein .

Transitions

Transition words and phrases are used throughout all good essays to link together different ideas. They help guide the reader through your text, and an essay that uses them effectively will be much easier to follow.

Various different relationships can be expressed by transition words, as shown in this example.

Because Hitler failed to respond to the British ultimatum, France and the UK declared war on Germany. Although it was an outcome the Allies had hoped to avoid, they were prepared to back up their ultimatum in order to combat the existential threat posed by the Third Reich.

Transition sentences may be included to transition between different paragraphs or sections of an essay. A good transition sentence moves the reader on to the next topic while indicating how it relates to the previous one.

… Distance learning, then, seems to improve accessibility in some ways while representing a step backwards in others.

However , considering the issue of personal interaction among students presents a different picture.

If you want to know more about AI tools , college essays , or fallacies make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples or go directly to our tools!

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  • Post hoc fallacy
  • Appeal to authority fallacy
  • False cause fallacy
  • Sunk cost fallacy

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  • College Essay Format & Structure
  • Comparing and Contrasting in an Essay

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The structure of an essay is divided into an introduction that presents your topic and thesis statement , a body containing your in-depth analysis and arguments, and a conclusion wrapping up your ideas.

The structure of the body is flexible, but you should always spend some time thinking about how you can organize your essay to best serve your ideas.

An essay isn’t just a loose collection of facts and ideas. Instead, it should be centered on an overarching argument (summarized in your thesis statement ) that every part of the essay relates to.

The way you structure your essay is crucial to presenting your argument coherently. A well-structured essay helps your reader follow the logic of your ideas and understand your overall point.

Comparisons in essays are generally structured in one of two ways:

  • The alternating method, where you compare your subjects side by side according to one specific aspect at a time.
  • The block method, where you cover each subject separately in its entirety.

It’s also possible to combine both methods, for example by writing a full paragraph on each of your topics and then a final paragraph contrasting the two according to a specific metric.

You should try to follow your outline as you write your essay . However, if your ideas change or it becomes clear that your structure could be better, it’s okay to depart from your essay outline . Just make sure you know why you’re doing so.

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essay what statement

10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

  • Essay 1: Summer Program
  • Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
  • Essay 3: Why Medicine
  • Essay 4: Love of Writing
  • Essay 5: Starting a Fire
  • Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
  • Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
  • Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
  • Essay 9: Eritrea
  • Essay 10: Journaling
  • Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

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Friday essay: ‘I know my ache is not your pain’ – disabled writers imagine a healthier world

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Creative Writing Lecturer, The University of Melbourne

Disclosure statement

Andy Jackson received funding from RMIT University under their Writing the Future of Health Fellowship.

University of Melbourne provides funding as a founding partner of The Conversation AU.

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There are many reasons why I shouldn’t be here. If you’d shown my ten-year-old self my life as it is now, he’d have been stunned, mostly because he half-expected an early death. My father, who had Marfan Syndrome , the genetic condition I have, died when he was in his mid-40s, when I was two, and the conventional medical wisdom of the time was that this was normal, almost expected.

Marfan is known as a “disorder of connective tissue”, meaning numerous systems of the body can be affected – the connective tissue of the heart, joints, eyes are liable to strain or tear. In my teens, I had multiple spinal surgeries, but there was always the spectre of sudden aortic dissection: a potentially life-threatening tear in the aorta, the body’s largest blood vessel. Like walking around under a storm cloud, never knowing if or when the lightning would strike.

If you’d shown my 20-year-old self my life now, he’d have said, well, I’m not disabled, not really, I mean, I’m not disadvantaged by my body, there’d be other people who really are. At that age, I felt profoundly stigmatised, faltering under the weight of other people’s intrusive attention, a different kind of lightning, that kept striking.

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My sense back then was that disability was about impairment. They use wheelchairs. They’re blind or deaf. They’re intellectually disabled. Not me. I just had a differently shaped body, which was other people’s problem, not mine. As if I could keep those things discreet.

Back then, in the films, television dramas and books I consumed, there were disabled characters, invariably marginal or two-dimensionally pathetic or tragic. Their existence was functional, a resource to be mined. Their bodies were metaphorically monumental, looming over the narrative, yet somehow hollow, without the fullness of agency. I certainly didn’t know any disabled authors.

This is an edited extract of the Association for the Study of Australian Literature Patron’s Lecture, delivered at UniSA Creative’s Finding Australia’s Disabled Authors online symposium on Wednesday 25 September.

Becoming a writer within a community

My 35-year-old self would mostly be surprised at the distance I’ve travelled as a writer. From open mic poetry nights in Fitzroy and Brunswick, via publication in photocopied zines and established literary journals, onto my first book of poems (then more), grants, residencies, a PhD in disability poetics, the Prime Minister’s Literary Award for Poetry – and now teaching creative writing at the University of Melbourne.

These, of course, are only the outward markers. What’s most potent for me is the sense that, in spite of my ongoing sense of dislocation and marginality, I do belong within a net of support and meaning-making.

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I’m part of a community of poets and writers. A community of disabled people and people with disabilities, people who know chronic illness, the flux of mental health, who know what it’s like to be othered. I also live as a non-Indigenous person on Dja Dja Wurrung country, whose elders have cared for their land, kept culture alive, and resisted colonisation and its brutal extractions.

An awareness of where we are situated, a felt sense of relationship with others like and unlike us, a consciousness of the histories and political forces that shape us, a hunch that our woundedness is not separate from the woundedness of the entire biosphere: none of this just happens automatically, though it emerges from a very subtle inner resonance.

It has to be attended to, nurtured with curiosity and empathy, within a community. Because disability – as a socially-constructed reality, and as an identity that is claimed – is not essentially a category, but a centre of gravity every body is drawn towards.

This may not be the conception of disability you’re used to.

Disability as human experience

The social model of disability is the idea that what makes someone disabled are the social, political, medical, institutional, architectural and cultural forces and structures. Stairs (for people using wheelchairs) and stares (for those who look, or move, or talk in a non-normative way, where normal is a kind of Platonic abstraction of what humans ought to be).

But disability is also a fundamental aspect of human experience, with its own magnetism or impersonal charisma. Disability is an unavoidable bedrock of being alive.

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There is a tension here, of course. Between disability as a dimension of discrimination, which creates barriers we want to dismantle, and disability as an inherent aspect of an embodiment that is precarious, mortal and relational.

I am here because some of the barriers that impeded me have been, if not removed, then softened, weakened. Shame, stigma, an internalised sense of being less-than, abnormal, sub-normal: these things are being slowly eroded. Not, fundamentally, through any great effort on my part, but through the accumulated efforts and energies of communities that have gone before me, and that exist around me.

How can we best flourish?

In late 2021, the Health Transformation Lab at RMIT University announced their Writing the Future of Health Fellowship . The successful writer would be paid for six months to work on a project of their choice. The call for applications emphasised innovation, creativity and collaboration. It invited a Melbourne writer to address the question: what does the future of health look like?

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I proposed a collaboration: an anthology of poems, essays and hybrid pieces by disabled writers. It will be published next week, as Raging Grace: Australian Writers Speak Out on Disability .

I applied for the fellowship less than a year after the devastations of Australia’s Black Summer bushfires of 2019. Loss of lives, homes and livelihoods. Billions of animals dead or displaced. Smoke blanketed the sky and the trauma of it blanketed our lives. Then came COVID-19, which would kill millions worldwide. Its overwhelming burden was on poor and disabled bodies.

In Australia, 2020 was the year of lockdowns, social distancing and mask mandates, then vaccination, hope, resentment, disinformation, fear, fatigue. Quite quickly, it seems in retrospect, the talk was of “opening up”, “learning to live with it”. “The new normal” switched to “back to normal”. Everything felt scorched, fraught, ready to ignite again.

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Those of us with experience of disability, neurodivergent people, those who live with chronic illness, depression, anxiety, trauma (I could go on) – we have unique and profound expertise on what health actually is, in the deepest sense, and what kind of environments allow us to survive and flourish.

The future of health, for all of us, I felt, depended on the health systems and the wider society being diagnosed by disabled people. It depended on us being integrally involved in imagining genuinely therapeutic futures.

‘An almost utopian daydream’

My fellowship pitch was an almost utopian daydream: collective empowerment and imagination in an era of crisis, precarity and isolation. What the project required was a community: diverse and open to each other.

I wanted a range of personal and bodily experiences, places of residence, cultural backgrounds, genders, sexualities and ages. In the end, a collective of 23 writers coalesced – poets, essayists, memoirists, thinkers, activists and community workers, but, above all, writers.

All of us in this project have first-hand experience of disability, neurodivergence, chronic pain and/or mental illness. The labels mean something, but we’re much larger than them. Men, women, non-binary folk; people of varying ages and cultural backgrounds, some First Nations, most not; queer, straight, cis, not; shy, vociferous, uncertain, confident, tired, in flux. People from many different corners of this continent.

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Throughout 2022, we met in person and online. I called these meetings “workshops”. We looked at poems and essays together, thinking through the music and the bodily energies of the language. But these were really conversations: minimally guided, intensely honest and free-flowing conversations about what we have experienced, and what we know about how society creates and exacerbates disability.

We diagnosed the systems (health, bureaucratic, economic), and daydreamed utopian and practical therapeutic futures. In the process, across our diverse experiences, resonances and affinities sparked. Two people (or sometimes three or more) would begin to wonder what it might be like to write together with another particular person, around a certain theme or idea.

We wrote about the wild liberation of wheelchairs, the claustrophobia of shopping centres, the dehumanising tendencies of hospitals. We riffed on shame, ambivalence, love and sensitivity. We speculated about a future where consultancies run by people with autism and disability would help non-disabled people amplify their otherness, rather than the other way round. We interrogated the history and future of medical research. We thought together about racism, misogyny and eugenics. We sat beneath trees.

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Sensitive listening and speaking

Every collaboration, for us, was a painstaking exercise in listening and speaking. This unpredictable, uncontrollable, expansive process determined both the process and the outcome. It was shaped by the energies each writer brought to the encounter, which were in turn shaped by preoccupations, traumas, aspirations, sensitivities, aesthetic inclinations and curiosities.

The most subtle, unforced collaborations sometimes resulted in poems in one coherent voice. The most intense, difficult collaborations sometimes led to two-column poems, with stark white space between them. This is as it should be. In any conversation, a burgeoning intimacy often makes our differences both more apparent, more significant, and yet also a little less obstructive.

I know my ache is not your pain, which is not their suffering. Why do I think myself alone? I am trying to quieten this murmur in my bones, so I can listen. – Gemma Mahadeo & Andy Jackson, from the poem Awry

In one collaboration, thinking of a spine that is not straight and a sexuality that is not straight, thinking of how we navigate public spaces differently and yet similarly, we each wrote a few lines of poetry each, until we had what felt like an entire poem. We then embarked on a process of editing, each time removing those elements of the piece that made it seem like two distinct voices. Our voices almost merged.

I extend my hand-cane hybrid towards the ground in front of me like a diviner – this path, this body, not the only crooked things… We yearn for the possibilities of another city, another body as we fall, knee-first onto the blunt fact of queer promise. – Bron Bateman & Andy Jackson from the poem Betrayal

In another collaboration, I was aware the other writer had experienced traumatic abuse, so I soon felt that when writing together – in a way that would not just be respectful but useful, for us both and for the poem – our voices would have to be distinct.

To dominate or erase another’s words, even with good intentions or under some pretence of “improving the poem”, would have been precipitous ground. The poem we ended up writing together was composed of two parallel voices, two wings. The air around them, and between us, held us up.

Assure child they are not at fault.   Refuse to be absolved of blame. Find the subliminal rhymes.   Broken as open. Other as wisdom.

– Leah Robertson & Andy Jackson, from the poem Debris

Rigour and care

Each collaboration had its own particular questions and dilemmas. Each one required rigour and care, patience and courage. There were many awkward little stumbles and pauses. Yet the process was also profoundly liberating. It felt like someone had opened a window, so that a stifling room finally had air and outlook.

My sense, too, was that with the windows flung open, those outside our world could see in, might begin to more deeply appreciate the innumerable ways bodies are marginalised. That readers of all kinds would see their own predicaments connected to ours. Disability as one dimension of injustice, a dimension that reminds us of the ground we share, flesh and earth. Disability as gravitational force.

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There is something in the collective political and social atmosphere that suggests collaboration, working together, especially with people outside our usual circle, is either anathema or too difficult.

Think of any of the crises that are front of mind at the moment – the dialogue around the Voice referendum and the fallout from its defeat , the fraught process of ensuring a just transition away from fossil fuels , the long histories and cycles of war and revenge across the globe. You could even include your own intimate cul-de-sacs of unresolved conflict.

Corporate tech algorithms amplify our tribal attachments, assume and encourage our binarism, our quick, unthinking reactions. The blinkers are on, and are being tightened.

This is not, to state the obvious, desirable or in any way sustainable. Perhaps this is why, in the last five to ten years, there has been an increasing number of collaborative writing projects. Against the tide of hesitation and mistrust, a felt need to work together, within and across identities.

essay what statement

I’m thinking of Woven , the anthology of collaborative poetry by First Nations writers from here and other lands, edited by Anne Marie Te Whiu. John Kinsella’s careful and ethical collaborative experiments with Charmaine Papertalk-Green, Kwame Dawes and Thurston Moore.

Then there’s Audrey Molloy and Anthony Lawrence’s intensely lyrical and sensitive conversation in Ordinary Time . And Ken Bolton and Peter Bakowski’s four recent collaborative books , which contain an array of darkly humorous fictional and fictionalised characters. This is only the poetic tip of the iceberg of recent collaborations.

Writers are one group of people who are tuning in to the need to go beyond the isolation or echo chambers. They know that the stories we are told – the need to be self-reliant and independent, the impetus to be suspicious of the other, or even that sense of inferiority that makes us feel disqualified from contributing – aren’t carved in stone. Or if they are, the persistent drip and flow of water can do its liberatory, erosive (and constructive) work.

We have, after all, only survived as a species and as communities through collaboration and mutual support.

Of course, we know there are countless collaborations currently being orchestrated by malicious agents: fascists, racists, misogynists, cynical corporate shills astroturfing against essential urgent climate action, even (to some degree) the reflexive social-media pile-ons. People are always working together in some way, deeply connected and inter-responsive. Collaboration in itself is not some utopian panacea.

Disabled collaboration

So I want to suggest that only a particular kind of collaboration can be properly transformative, humanising and grounding. It’s a collaboration of deep attentiveness and mutual exposure: a way of being together in which we set our certainties and fears aside, to be present to the other, to allow the other to be themselves, and to be open to the otherness in ourselves, an encounter which sensitises us to the complexities and bodiliness of injustice.

Let’s call it disabled collaboration.

Let me explain. As a disabled person, you are constrained, walled out of important social spaces: there are only steps into the workplace, the performance isn’t translated, or the shop is non-negotiable sensory overload. Even if you do manage to enter these spaces, it is made clear to you that you don’t really belong. They might stare at you, or signal their discomfort with silence or overcompensation. (And, yes, the shift to second-person is deliberate.)

Unless you give up – and which of us would not admit to giving up sometimes, or in some part of ourselves? – you spend a lot of energy proposing, asking, suggesting, pleading, demanding. You know what you need to be able to live a life of nourishment, connection, pleasure. You speak, in your own voice, out of your particular situation, from across the barriers.

Perhaps disability is really essentially about this giving voice. About constantly having to express what is unheard – or perhaps sometimes unhearable – by the broader society.

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This isn’t about transmitting thoughts or ideas. This is essentially a cry for connection, for help. For solidarity, allyship, change. What you’re after is collaboration: two or more people bringing their resources to bear upon a human situation, which may have fallen heavily on one person, but hovers over us all. Disabled people know this territory intimately. We regularly share much-needed information, resources, concern and time with each other.

This kind of collaboration, by definition, cannot assume an equality of voice, mode of operation or capacity. It is predicated on learning about difference and then responding to it: whether through listening, care work, protest or support.

This collaboration acknowledges and resists disadvantage, isolation and enforced voicelessness. It’s the kind of orientation towards another person that, I want to suggest, is exactly what might help us respond properly to the multiple, intersecting crises we find ourselves in.

It’s a listening not only to the concerns and experiences of the other, but an ambition to adapt to their particular way of expressing themselves.

To be clear, I’m not saying disabled people have any special talent for collaboration. We can be as bitter, isolationist, selfish or stubborn as any non-disabled person. In fact, there are aspects to being disabled that can encourage suspicion towards others, a scepticism that at times affords you the space to assess risk.

Can I trust this person with my needs, my life? It’s a caution that is understandable, and useful, but it can also keep us isolated. The cycle of othering depends on those othered doing some of the work, thinking this is all I deserve , or the perpetual doubtful thought of “maybe next time”.

On top of that, there are intersections of injustice that are particularly resistant. They don’t dissolve in the presence of collaboration, but require immense effort to shift.

In facilitating this project, I found that the most stubborn dividing factors were class and race. There are individualist, neoliberal dynamics at the core of funding guidelines and in our lives generally. Writing and publishing remain fields still dominated by white, middle-class connections and aesthetics.

When we sit down to write or work together, these things do not disappear. When writers are paid for their work, it does not mean the same thing for each person.

essay what statement

Throughout this project, I have asked myself a number of questions. How do I, as a funding recipient, ensure that my collaborators are not exploited or taken for granted? What assumptions do I carry, invisibly, about the merits of particular voices? Should I step back to give more space to Indigenous writers, culturally and linguistically diverse writers, queer writers? How do we speak together within a poem or essay in a way that reaffirms common cause without diminishing the very real differences?

These difficult questions have not been resolved. Still, their intractability really only reinforces my wider point. We need to engage together in a way that is predicated on difference, exposure, vulnerability and mutual support. If disability is the imprint or shadow of bodily injustice, then collaborating in a disabled way, consciously, can radically expand our understanding of our shared predicament.

What happens within the process of disabled collaboration is akin to the words in Sarah Stivens and Jasper Peach’s poem, Crack & Burn:

Different bodies with the same fears, different aches with the same stories Our brains tell us that we’re alone, but we know not to believe them … When we gather in numbers it’s impossible to feel less than because all I see – everywhere I look – is raging grace and powerful repose.

The experience foreshadows, in a small but potent way, the future we wish to live in.

What might disabled collaboration achieve? The poem Coalescent, written by Beau Windon, myself, Michèle Saint-Yves, Robin M Eames and Ruby Hillsmith, suggests a hopeful answer:

overturning the old regime of normalcy for something strange / / something glorious / / something new
  • Collaboration
  • Friday essay
  • Disability coverage
  • Social model of disability
  • New research, Australia New Zealand

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Economics Editor

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Deputy Vice-Chancellor (Indigenous Strategy and Services)

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Director and Chief of Staff, Indigenous Portfolio

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Chief People & Culture Officer

Lecturer / senior lecturer in construction and project management.

IMAGES

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  6. How to Write a 3000-Word Essay and How Long Is It? Structure, Examples

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COMMENTS

  1. How to Write a Thesis Statement

    Step 1: Start with a question. You should come up with an initial thesis, sometimes called a working thesis, early in the writing process. As soon as you've decided on your essay topic, you need to work out what you want to say about it—a clear thesis will give your essay direction and structure.

  2. What is a Thesis Statement: Writing Guide with Examples

    A thesis statement is a sentence in a paper or essay (in the opening paragraph) that introduces the main topic to the reader. As one of the first things your reader sees, your thesis statement is one of the most important sentences in your entire paper—but also one of the hardest to write! In this article, we explain how to write a thesis ...

  3. How to Write a So What Statement: A Step-by-Step Guide

    Example 1: A So What Statement in a Literature Analysis. Summarize your main argument: In this literary analysis, I argue that the use of symbolism in "The Great Gatsby" helps to convey the novel's themes of excess and corruption. Highlight the significance of your findings: Through my analysis of the novel, I demonstrate how Fitzgerald's use ...

  4. How to Write a Thesis Statement

    Readers will be interested in reading the rest of the essay to see how you support your point. 3. A strong thesis statement expresses one main idea. Readers need to be able to see that your paper has one main point. If your thesis statement expresses more than one idea, then you might confuse your readers about the subject of your paper. For ...

  5. How to Write a Thesis Statement (Full Guide + 60 Examples)

    Expository Essay - Explains or describes a topic in a straightforward, logical manner. It provides a balanced analysis of a subject based on facts without opinions. Narrative Essay - Tells a story or relates an event. The thesis statement for a narrative essay usually highlights the main point or lesson of the story.

  6. Creating a Thesis Statement, Thesis Statement Tips

    Your thesis statement should be specific—it should cover only what you will discuss in your paper and should be supported with specific evidence. 3. The thesis statement usually appears at the end of the first paragraph of a paper. 4. Your topic may change as you write, so you may need to revise your thesis statement to reflect exactly what ...

  7. Thesis

    Thesis. Your thesis is the central claim in your essay—your main insight or idea about your source or topic. Your thesis should appear early in an academic essay, followed by a logically constructed argument that supports this central claim. A strong thesis is arguable, which means a thoughtful reader could disagree with it and therefore ...

  8. Thesis Statements

    A thesis statement: tells the reader how you will interpret the significance of the subject matter under discussion. is a road map for the paper; in other words, it tells the reader what to expect from the rest of the paper. directly answers the question asked of you. A thesis is an interpretation of a question or subject, not the subject itself.

  9. How to Write a Strong Thesis Statement: 4 Steps + Examples

    Step 4: Revise and refine your thesis statement before you start writing. Read through your thesis statement several times before you begin to compose your full essay. You need to make sure the statement is ironclad, since it is the foundation of the entire paper. Edit it or have a peer review it for you to make sure everything makes sense and ...

  10. How to Write a Strong Thesis Statement

    It does contain at least two clauses, usually an independent clause (the opinion) and a dependent clause (the reasons). You probably should aim for a single sentence that is at least two lines, or about 30 to 40 words long. Position: A thesis statement always belongs at the beginning of an essay.

  11. How to Write a Thesis Statement With Examples

    A thesis statement provides the foundation for your entire research paper or essay. This statement is the central assertion that you want to express in your essay. A successful thesis statement is one that is made up of one or two sentences clearly laying out your central idea and expressing an informed, reasoned answer to your research question.

  12. Mastering the Thesis Statement: Examples and Tips for Academic ...

    What is the thesis statement? When it comes to writing an essay, there are many things that we must take into consideration in order to create a well-written and respected piece of work.One such thing is the thesis statement. Every good essay should have one and it needs to be well-written and well-thought-out.

  13. 25 Thesis Statement Examples That Will Make Writing a Breeze

    Understanding what makes a good thesis statement is one of the major keys to writing a great research paper or argumentative essay. The thesis statement is where you make a claim that will guide you through your entire paper. If you find yourself struggling to make sense of your paper or your topic, then it's likely due to a weak thesis statement. Let's take a minute to first understand what ...

  14. Example of a Great Essay

    Your essay introduction should include three main things, in this order: An opening hook to catch the reader's attention. Relevant background information that the reader needs to know. A thesis statement that presents your main point or argument. The length of each part depends on the length and complexity of your essay.

  15. Essay Structure: The 3 Main Parts of an Essay

    Basic essay structure: the 3 main parts of an essay. Almost every single essay that's ever been written follows the same basic structure: Introduction. Body paragraphs. Conclusion. This structure has stood the test of time for one simple reason: It works. It clearly presents the writer's position, supports that position with relevant ...

  16. The Beginner's Guide to Writing an Essay

    Do your research and gather sources. Come up with a thesis. Create an essay outline. Write the introduction. Write the main body, organized into paragraphs. Write the conclusion. Evaluate the overall organization. Revise the content of each paragraph. Proofread your essay or use a Grammar Checker for language errors.

  17. Crafting Strong Thesis Statements: A Guide for Effective Essays

    Reflecting on Thesis Statement A thesis statement forms a critical component of an essay as it contains keywords and phrases that a writer intended to refer throughout the essay to support their argument. Throughout the past week, I have learnt that a thesis statement has several aspects including a claim, argueability, clarity and conciseness and obvious to the readers.

  18. 101 So What? and Thesis Statements

    Thesis Statements. a short statement, usually one sentence, that summarizes the main point or claim of an essay, research paper, etc., and is developed, supported, and explained in the text by means of examples and evidence. A thesis is the topic of the paper and the position you are taking. It needs to be narrow and debatable; i.e. makes a claim.

  19. THE PERSONAL STATEMENT

    The Free Guide to Writing the Personal Statement. Kick things off with the two greatest brainstorming exercises ever, learn about options for structuring a personal statement + example outlines, check out some amazing example personal statements, and get on your way to writing your own killer personal statement for university applications.

  20. How to Write a Personal Statement (Tips + Essay Examples)

    In a great personal statement, we should be able to get a sense of what fulfills, motivates, or excites the author. These can be things like humor, beauty, community, and autonomy, just to name a few. So when you read back through your essay, you should be able to detect at least 4-5 different values throughout.

  21. Personal Statements

    Each essay should contribute something unique, and all of your essays should work together to form one cohesive application. For example, if asked to write about your research interests in a separate essay (often called an academic statement of purpose), don't spend much time detailing these interests in your personal statement. Instead, use ...

  22. How to Structure an Essay

    The basic structure of an essay always consists of an introduction, a body, and a conclusion. But for many students, the most difficult part of structuring an essay is deciding how to organize information within the body. This article provides useful templates and tips to help you outline your essay, make decisions about your structure, and ...

  23. Personal Statement Format + Examples

    The personal statement format, structure, and content tips below can help you select an approach that helps you find and express the arc in your life, whether you're working on undergraduate college admissions, law school, medical school, or other graduate schools. What is the Correct Personal Statement Format?

  24. 10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

    What is a Personal Statement? Personal Statement Examples. Essay 1: Summer Program. Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American. Essay 3: Why Medicine. Essay 4: Love of Writing. Essay 5: Starting a Fire. Essay 6: Dedicating a Track. Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders.

  25. Friday essay: 'I know my ache is not your pain'

    Andy Jackson at kindergarten. Andy Jackson. My sense back then was that disability was about impairment. They use wheelchairs. They're blind or deaf.