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UPenn Supplemental Essays 2023-24 – Prompts and Advice

August 11, 2023

The University of Pennsylvania accepted 40% of applicants back in 1980—as of 2023, that figure had plummeted to 7.4%. Those wanting to join the Quaker campus a generation ago could gain acceptance simply by producing strong grades and test scores. Today, applicants find themselves in a hyper-competitive admissions process. In 2023-24, they need to find ways to separate themselves from tens of thousands of similarly-accomplished peers. This brings us to the topic of this blog: the UPenn supplemental essays.

(Want to learn more about How to Get Into UPenn? Visit our blog entitled:  How to Get Into Penn/Wharton: Admissions Data and Strategies. Here, you’ll find all of the most recent admissions data as well as tips for gaining acceptance.)

The UPenn supplemental essays present applicants with just the opportunity they need to showcase their unique personality, writing ability, passions, and talents. Further, those who generate responses that are authentic, honest, and compelling can truly capture the attention of a Penn admissions reader.

Below are UPenn’s two general essay prompts for the 2023-24 admissions cycle. The College Transitions team also offers accompanying advice about how to tackle each one.

UPenn Supplemental Essays – Prompt #1

1) Write a short thank-you note to someone you have not yet thanked and would like to acknowledge. (We encourage you to share this note with that person, if possible, and reflect on the experience!) (150-200 words)  

In essence, this one is about how you express gratitude. A mature young person realizes that their success was not achieved in a vacuum. Rather, it was likely aided by many adults and peers. The target of your letter could be a parent, other relative, teacher, coach, spiritual leader, friend, classmate, fellow team member, or boss. This prompt, which debuted last year, is an excellent opportunity for highly-decorated applicants to display their appreciative and humble side. We recommend taking their advice and actually sharing the letter in real life. This will likely make the essay more authentic and from the heart. The more sincere your essay turns out, the better it will likely be received by UPenn (and its intended IRL target!).

UPenn Supplemental Essays – Prompt #2

2) How will you explore community at Penn? Consider how Penn will help shape your perspective and identity, and how your identity and perspective will help shape Penn. (150-200 words)  

Keep in mind that Penn has already seen the President’s Volunteer Service Award and the impressive number of hours you volunteered at multiple nonprofit organizations. They know that you have been an active member of your high school/local community. The admissions committee now desires to understand precisely how you will contribute to  their  community of almost 10,000 undergraduate students. Highlighting the link between your past efforts and future aims is critical here. For example, if you dedicated many hours working with people with Alzheimer’s Disease throughout high school, it will be more impactful when you now express your commitment to joining Penn’s Alzheimer’s Buddies organization.

The strongest Penn community essays show evidence of meaningful school-specific research. This research process will actually give you a better idea of how you would sincerely like to become engaged at each prospective school on your list. Admissions officers will appreciate a Penn-centric answer far more than a generic (often recycled from app to app) response. Moreover, given the word count, you’ll be able to produce the strongest response if you focus on just one or two specific aspects of your identity and perspective.

UPenn Supplemental Essays – School & Program-Specific Prompts

In addition to the above, you’ll also need to write an essay that is specific to the undergraduate school or coordinated dual-degree program you’re applying to. Below, we’ve covered how to approach the most popular choices:

1) The College of Arts and Sciences

The flexible structure of The College of Arts and Sciences’ curriculum is designed to inspire exploration, foster connections, and help you create a path of study through general education courses and a major. What are you curious about and how would you take advantage of opportunities in the arts and sciences? (150-200 words) 

To help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about academic offerings within the College of Arts and Sciences at  college.upenn.edu/prospective . This information will help you develop a stronger understanding of how the study of the liberal arts aligns with your own goals and aspirations.

UPenn Supplemental Essays (Continued)

In this essay, admissions officers want to see evidence of your drive, passion, and intellectual ambition. Further, they want to learn your specific plans for continuing to be academically engaged while at the University of Pennsylvania. Great things to highlight here include:

• Firstly, Specific courses offered in your discipline of interest at UPenn.
• Next,  Penn professors  whose work/research/writings you find fascinating and how you would ideally like to connect with them as an undergraduate.
• Additionally, academically-focused student organizations  at Penn.
• Undergraduate research opportunities  in the summer or during the school year as well as independent research you would like to conduct under faculty supervision.
• Lastly,  Study abroad  opportunities.

In addition to Penn-specific offerings that you are dying to take advantage of, you can also cite past experiences which will ideally be tied into future ventures. For example, if you were captain of the robotics team in high school—and hope to continue robotics in college—you might note why you’re interested in joining the UPennalizers, Penn’s student-run robotic soccer team.

2) School of Engineering and Applied Science

Penn Engineering prepares its students to become leaders in technology, by combining a strong foundation in the natural sciences and mathematics, exploration in the liberal arts, and depth of study in focused disciplinary majors. Please share how you hope to explore your engineering interests at Penn. (150-200 words) 

To help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about Penn Engineering and its mission to prepare students for global leadership in technology  here . This information will help you develop a stronger understanding of academic pathways within Penn Engineering and how they align with your goals and interests.

Similar to the prompt for the College of Arts and Sciences, you’ll want to research Penn’s engineering offerings. You’ll want to pay particularl attention to those related to your primary major of interest. You can discuss several that you find most compelling. Great things to highlight here include:

• Specific courses  offered in your discipline of interest at UPenn.
• Penn professors  whose work/research/writings you find fascinating and how you would ideally like to connect with them as an undergraduate.
• Academically-focused  student organizations  at Penn.
• Undergraduate research opportunities  in the summer or during the school year. Also, independent research you would like to conduct under faculty supervision.

3) School of Nursing

Penn Nursing intends to meet the health needs of society in a global and multicultural world by preparing its students to impact healthcare by advancing science and promoting equity. What do you think this means for the future of nursing, and how do you see yourself contributing to our mission of promoting equity in healthcare? (150-200 words)   

To help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about Penn Nursing’s mission and how we promote equity in healthcare  here .  This information will help you develop a stronger understanding of our values and how they align with your own goals and aspirations.

There are two prongs to this prompt. First, the admissions committee wants to understand how you think scientific advancements and increased equity will impact nursing as a profession. Since you’re applying to this program, it’s likely that you believe in the benefit of both objectives. Therefore, you don’t need to spend time convincing the admissions committee that you’re on board. Instead, and based on what you understand about the nursing field consider discussing what types of positive impact nurses who are prepared for the profession in such a way can have on patient outcomes and/or healthcare in general. Lastly, if you don’t know much about the current landscape, be sure to do some research,

Second, Penn wants to understand how you—as a nursing student—will contribute to the mission of promoting equity in particular. Based on what you know about Penn’s nursing programs and initiatives (which, again, will require some research) how do you see yourself getting involved?

4) The Wharton School

Wharton prepares its students to make an impact by applying business methods and economic theory to real-world problems, including economic, political, and social issues. Please reflect on a current issue of importance to you and share how you hope a Wharton education would help you to explore it. (150-200 words)  

To help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about the foundations of a Wharton education  here . This information will help you better understand what you could learn by studying at Wharton and what you could do afterward.

To craft a strong response to this prompt, you’ll first need to choose an issue that is important to you. The issue can be on either a global, regional, or community scale. If you pick something general (and popular), like climate change or AI, consider choosing a specific angle that relates to you personally. For example, while “climate change” in general is an absolutely massive undertaking that will be difficult to differentiate, discussing the impact of flooding on your city’s downtown businesses could be far more specific and accessible.

After choosing an issue and sharing why it’s important to you, you’ll then need to discuss how Wharton’s specific offerings will help you explore it. Excellent possibilities include:

5)  DMD: Digital Media Design Program

Why are you interested in the Digital Media Design (DMD) program at the University of Pennsylvania? (400-650 words)

6) Huntsman: The Huntsman Program in International Studies and Business

The Huntsman Program supports the development of globally-minded scholars who become engaged citizens, creative innovators, and ethical leaders in the public, private, and non-profit sectors in the United States and internationally. What draws you to a dual-degree program in business and international studies, and how would you use what you learn to make a contribution to a global issue where business and international affairs intersect? (400-650 words)

7) LSM: The Roy and Diana Vagelos Program in Life Sciences and Management

The LSM program aims to provide students with a fundamental understanding of the life sciences and their management with an eye to identifying, advancing and implementing innovations. What issues would you want to address using the understanding gained from such a program? Note that this essay should be distinct from your single degree essay. (400-650 words)

8) M&T: The Jerome Fisher Program in Management and Technology

• Explain how you will use the M&T program to explore your interest in business, engineering, and the intersection of the two. (400-650 words)
• Describe a problem that you solved that showed leadership and creativity. (250 words)

9) NETS: The Rajendra and Neera Singh Program in Networked and Social Systems Engineering

Describe your interests in modern networked information systems and technologies, such as the internet, and their impact on society, whether in terms of economics, communication, or the creation of beneficial content for society. Feel free to draw on examples from your own experiences as a user, developer, or student of technology. (400-650 words)

10) NHCM: Nursing and Healthcare Management

Discuss your interest in nursing and health care management. How might Penn’s coordinated dual-degree program in nursing and business help you meet your goals? (400-650 words)

11) BIO-DENT: Seven-Year Bio-Dental Program

• Please list pre-dental or pre-medical experience. This experience can include but is not limited to observation in a private practice, dental clinic, or hospital setting; dental assisting; dental laboratory work; dental or medical research, etc. Please include time allotted to each activity, dates of attendance, location, and description of your experience. If you do not have any pre-dental or pre-medical experience, please indicate what you have done or plan to do in order to explore dentistry as a career. (250 words)
• Describe any activities which demonstrate your ability to work with your hands. (250 words)
• What activities have you performed that demonstrate your ability to work effectively with people? (250 words)
• Please explain your reasons for selecting a career in dentistry. Please include what interests you the most in dentistry as well as what interests you the least. (250 words)
• Do you have relatives who are dentists or are in dental school? If so, indicate the name of each relative, his/her relationship to you, the school attended, and the dates attended.(250 words)

12) VIPER: The Roy and Diana Vagelos Integrated Program in Energy Research

How do you envision your participation in the Vagelos Integrated Program in Energy Research (VIPER) furthering your interests in energy science and technology? Please include any past experiences (ex. academic, research, or extracurricular) that have led to your interest in the program. Additionally, please indicate why you are interested in pursuing dual degrees in science and engineering and which VIPER majors are most interesting to you at this time. (400-650 words)

How important are the UPenn supplemental essays?

There are six factors that UPenn considers “very important” in evaluating a candidate and the essays are among them. In addition to the essays, UPenn gives the greatest consideration to the rigor of an applicant’s secondary school record. Of equal consideration are GPA, standardized test scores, recommendations, and character/personal qualities.

UPenn Supplemental Essays – Want Personalized Essay Assistance?

In conclusion, if you are interested in working with one of College Transitions’ experienced and knowledgeable essay coaches as you craft your UPenn supplemental essays, we encourage you to get a quote  today.

• Application Strategies
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Andrew Belasco

A licensed counselor and published researcher, Andrew's experience in the field of college admissions and transition spans two decades. He has previously served as a high school counselor, consultant and author for Kaplan Test Prep, and advisor to U.S. Congress, reporting on issues related to college admissions and financial aid.

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College Essays

The University of Pennsylvania requires all first year applicants to submit a personal essay as well as a Penn-specific essay. If you're hoping to be one of the 6% of students admitted to Penn every year, your UPenn essay is an important part of your application. You'll need to make sure your essays are strong to increase your chances of admission.

In this article, we'll go over the UPenn essay logistics—covering exactly what you need to write for each college you're applying to at UPenn. Then, we'll break down each prompt, offering suggestions for what to write about. Finally, we'll give tips on how to write an amazing UPenn essay that'll help you get into your dream school.

What Are the UPenn Essay Prompts?

If you're applying to UPenn, you must submit your application to one of UPenn's four undergraduate schools. Depending on which undergraduate program you're applying to, you'll need to answer UPenn's specific statements as well as an additional essay for that school.

There are three required short answer prompts for this year’s UPenn application. The first is:

Write a short thank-you note to someone you have not yet thanked and would like to acknowledge. (We encourage you to share this note with that person, if possible, and reflect on the experience!) (150-200 words)

UPenn's second essay prompt for all students is:

How will you explore community at Penn? Consider how Penn will help shape your perspective and identity, and how your identity and perspective will help shape Penn. (150-200 words)

And, finally, the third prompt:

Considering the specific undergraduate school you have selected, describe how you intend to explore your academic and intellectual interests at the University of Pennsylvania. (150-200 words)

Depending on the undergraduate program you're applying to, you may have to write an additional essay as part of your application. Here are those additional essay prompts and the program for which they apply:

• Please list pre-dental or pre-medical experience. This experience can include but is not limited to observation in a private practice, dental clinic, or hospital setting; dental assisting; dental laboratory work; dental or medical research, etc. Please include time allotted to each activity, dates of attendance, location, and description of your experience. If you do not have any pre-dental or pre-medical experience, please indicate what you have done that led you to your decision to enter dentistry.
• List any activities which demonstrate your ability to work with your hands.
• What activities have you performed that demonstrate your ability to work cooperatively with people?
• Please explain your reasons for selecting a career in dentistry. Please include what interests you the most in dentistry as well as what interests you the least.
• Do you have relatives who are dentists or are in dental school? If so, indicate the name of each relative, his/her relationship to you, the school attended, and the dates attended.
• Digital Media Design Program: Why are you interested in the Digital Media Design (DMD) program at the University of Pennsylvania? (400-650 words)
• The Huntsman Program in International Studies and Business: The Huntsman Program supports the development of globally-minded scholars who become engaged citizens, creative innovators, and ethical leaders in the public, private, and non-profit sectors in the United States and internationally. What draws you to a dual-degree program in business and international studies, and how would you use what you learn to make a contribution to a global issue where business and international affairs intersect? (400-650 words)
• The Roy and Diana Vagelos Program in Life Science and Management: The LSM program aims to provide students with a fundamental understanding of the life sciences and their management with an eye to identifying, advancing and implementing innovations. What issues would you want to address using the understanding gained from such a program? Note that this essay should be distinct from your single degree essay. (400-650 words)
• The Jerome Fisher Program in Management and Technology: Please complete both prompts.
• Explain how you will use the M&T program to explore your interest in business, engineering, and the intersection of the two. (400-650 words)
• Describe a problem that you solved that showed leadership and creativity. (250 words maximum)
• The Rejendra and Neera Singh Program in Networked and Social Systems Engineering: Describe your interests in modern networked information systems and technologies, such as the internet, and their impact on society, whether in terms of economics, communication, or the creation of beneficial content for society. Feel free to draw on examples from your own experiences as a user, developer, or student of technology. (400-650 words)
• Nursing and Healthcare Management: Discuss your interest in nursing and health care management. How might Penn's coordinated dual-degree program in nursing and business help you meet your goals? (400-650 words)
• The Roy and Diana Vagelos Integrated Program in Energy Research: How do you envision your participation in the Vagelos Integrated Program in Energy Research (VIPER) furthering your interests in energy science and technology? Please include any past experiences (ex. academic, research, or extracurricular) that have led to your interest in the program. Additionally, please indicate why you are interested in pursuing dual degrees in science and engineering and which VIPER majors are most interesting to you at this time. (400-650 words)

UPenn Essay Prompts, Analyzed

In this section, we'll analyze each of the UPenn supplement essay prompts and offer suggestions for what you should talk about (and avoid) for each.

Penn-Specific Essays

Let's take a look at how to tackle the essays all students will have to answer.

This rather charming prompt is a great opportunity to show the UPenn admissions counselors what you value and what you’re grateful for .

Consider making a list of all the things people have done for you, and narrow it down to those that have made the biggest impact. Has a family member or your best friend has gone the extra mile for you, and you haven’t quite found a way to truly thank them? Maybe someone you’re not friends with stood up for you in an academic or social situation. Maybe your Model UN nemesis did you a solid. Is there something you may have taken for granted?

Once you’ve narrowed down your topic, remember to focus on the "so what" part of the answer. Why is it important to thank this person? What did they do, and how did it affect you? Why have you not yet been able to thank them (there are plenty of good reasons for this—don’t panic if you feel like you’ve been rude!).

Remember to be as specific and sincere as possible—you have 200 words, tops, to tell a genuine story that reveals part of your character.

How will you explore the community at Penn? Consider how this community will help shape your perspective and identity, and how your identity and perspective will help shape this community. (150-200 words)

The first prompt was largely focused on academic interests. The second is where you can think more about community.

Going to college isn't just about what you'll learn in class. It's also about forming life-long friendships and exploring different communities to find out who you are and what you like to do.

Of course, you can't predict exactly what your social life is going to look like before you even get accepted. You may end up in clubs you never expected, with friends you never anticipated. But that's okay—UPenn isn't asking you to lay out, step-by-step, how you'll participate in college communities. They just want to know that you're thinking about it!

To answer this question, consider looking into UPenn's many student-run clubs and activities and find some that match your interests. Think about how these clubs and activities will contribute to the vision you have of your future. What impact do you expect them to have on you?

But don't forget the second half of the question! UPenn also wants to know how you will shape the community, not just how it will shape you . What unique perspectives do you bring? What can you do that nobody else can?

This question is a pretty typical "why you?" essay prompt that's focused on community rather than academics. Think about how you fit into your social groups; what makes you unique? Are you the token caregiver friend? Or maybe you're always pursuing a new weird hobby, and your friends love hearing about what your new niche interest is. These are just two traits that you could use to explain what you'll bring to the UPenn community— get a little creative, think about how you participate in your friend groups, and plan how you're going to bring those thoughts into your new school!

Considering the specific undergraduate school you have selected, describe how you intend to explore your academic and intellectual interests at the University of Pennsylvania. (150-200 words) For students applying to the coordinated dual-degree and specialized programs, please answer this question in regard to your single-degree school choice; your interest in the coordinated dual-degree or specialized program may be addressed through the program-specific essay.

The third prompt is a traditional Why UPenn essay. It asks you to explain why you want to attend UPenn, and what you’ll do while you’re there.

While these types of prompts are common, the Why UPenn essay prompt focuses specifically on academics—it's not concerned with your interest in UPenn's extracurriculars or campus life. Your answer, then, needs to be specifically focused on your academic pursuits and how UPenn will help you achieve your goals.

You'll need to talk about how the undergraduate school you're applying to affects your academic interests, so do your research on the school. You don't want to talk about a class that you won't have access to because it's in another undergraduate school. All of your answers should be reflective of the courses you'll be able to take if admitted to the undergraduate school of your choice.

You should have a good sense of the classes offered by your program. It's a good idea to name specific classes or professors you'd like to study with. Similarly, if there are any specific opportunities available to students in your field, such as internships or study abroad programs, this essay is the place to talk about it.

The next prompts are for specific programs at UPenn. Channel your inner snowflake and show how you're a unique, one-of-a-kind candidate! 

Bio-Dental Program

Please list pre-dental or pre-medical experience. This experience can include but is not limited to observation in a private practice, dental clinic, or hospital setting; dental assisting; dental laboratory work; dental or medical research, etc. Please include time allotted to each activity, dates of attendance, location, and description of your experience. If you do not have any pre-dental or pre-medical experience, please indicate what you have done that led you to your decision to enter dentistry. (250 words maximum)

List any activities which demonstrate your ability to work with your hands. (250 words maximum)

What activities have you performed that demonstrate your ability to work cooperatively with people? (250 words maximum)

Please explain your reasons for selecting a career in dentistry. Please include what interests you the most in dentistry as well as what interests you the least. (250 words maximum)

Do you have relatives who are dentists or are in dental school? If so, indicate the name of each relative, his/her relationship to you, the school attended, and the dates attended. (250 words maximum)

The prompt for the Bio-Dental program is extensive. Attack it in pieces, being as specific as possible when answering each question.

Don't feel that you need to make up any specific experience. If you haven't interned at a dentist's office, don't invent that experience. You should stick to reality. If you haven't observed at a dentist's office, you can set up a time to visit a local dentist so that you're writing about your real experience, not something you've invented.

When listing your activities, be sure to indicate how each is relevant to dental skill. Maybe you do a lot of needlepoint, which shows that you're able to carry out complex patterns. Again, you don't want to make anything up. Not only will your essay read as inauthentic, you won't have the experience you need to enter into the program.

Take your time and work through this prompt in pieces if you have to. Be thorough, honest, and accurate.

Digital Media Design Program

Just like the Artificial Intelligence essay prompt, in this essay you'll want to explain exactly why the Digital Media Design program at UPenn appeals to you. There are a few important components to an answer for this prompt: specificity, personality, and genuine interest.

To tackle the first important feature, you'll want to do some research into the program you're applying to. Find the unique things about this program in comparison to others; that can mean the professors who teach in it, the classes that are offered, what former students are up to, or anything else that you can tie specifically to UPenn. The reason for this is that the college wants to know that you're not just applying there as a fallback choice. UPenn wants students who are driven and passionate about what college will help them achieve, and putting specifics into your essay is a great way to show that you care about attending.

Next, be sure that your essay has personality. You want your essay to read as if only you could have written it. Having specifics will help with that, but you should also make it a point to let your own unique voice and interests shine through. If Digital Media Design draws your interest because you've always been drawn to the unique storytelling potential of animation after growing up on Pixar films, that's worth mentioning! Remember, your college application is all about getting the college invested in you as a student; let your personality shine through.

And lastly, demonstrate genuine interest. UPenn is a great school, and you should use your essay to show that you're not just applying there because you needed to fill another slot on your college list. Express your passion for attending UPenn, and specifically the Digital Media Design program. What brought you here over every other school? Even if UPenn isn't your top choice, remember all the things that made you put the school on your college list in the first place, and keep them in mind as you write.

The Huntsman Program in International Studies and Business

The Huntsman Program supports the development of globally-minded scholars who become engaged citizens, creative innovators, and ethical leaders in the public, private, and non-profit sectors in the United States and internationally. What draws you to a dual-degree program in business and international studies, and how would you use what you learn to make a contribution to a global issue where business and international affairs intersect? (400-650 words)

For the Huntsman essay, you'll need to explain exactly what draws you to UPenn's International Studies and Business program. This is a dual-degree program, so you'll be studying at the intersection of these two fields. A working understanding of each will be important to writing this essay.

To start, make a short list of reasons why this degree appeals to you. What international issues interest you? Why take a business approach rather than a sociological or political one? You don't have to put the answers to these questions in your essay, but if you know the answers to them, you'll be better prepared to answer the prompt with confidence.

The question specifically asks for how you'll use what you learn in this program to make an impact on a global issue. That requires some familiarity with global issues; think about causes that matter to you and how you can use business to approach them. How will attending UPenn help you toward your career goals?

You can cite specific classes, instructors, or other features of UPenn to help make your point. Your essay should feature not just how you want to make an impact on the world, but also why you're seeking a dual degree, and specifically a dual degree from UPenn.

The Roy and Diana Vagelos Program in Life Science and Management

The LSM program aims to provide students with a fundamental understanding of the life sciences and their management with an eye to identifying, advancing and implementing innovations. What issues would you want to address using the understanding gained from such a program? Note that this essay should be distinct from your single degree essay. (400-650 words)

The LSM essay prompt has been recently updated. Instead of being a general "why this program" style prompt, this essay wants to dig deeper into why you're interested in Life Sciences and Management and understand more about whether your personality is a fit for the program.

This essay is all about the bigger picture. The LSM program is all about innovation, so this essay wants you to pick a big issue and explain how what you learn as an LSM student will help you solve it. The best way to answer this prompt is through a combination of research and specificity. First, research the LSM program. You definitely want to pick an issue that you'll actually learn about as a UPENN student. It's also a good idea to call out specific classes, professors, and research opportunities in your response! (Keep in mind that this program is a joint venture between the College of Arts and Sciences and the Wharton School of Business, so be sure to research both schools.)

Once you have all that information pulled together, you can get specific. Admissions counselors don't expect you to solve the world's biggest problems. But they do want to see that you're thinking critically about issues in your future field, and that you can break the problem down into pieces. For instance, instead of saying you want to solve climate change, narrow that topic down into something doable, like developing new plant-based plastics that can be used in the medical field.

The Jerome Fisher Program in Management and Technology

Please complete both prompts.

Question 1: Explain how you will use the M&T program to explore your interest in business, engineering, and the intersection of the two. (400-650 words)

Question 2: Describe a problem that you solved that showed leadership and creativity. (250 words maximum)

You'll need to complete two additional essays if you're applying to the Jerome Fisher Program in Management and Technology.

Like many UPenn programs, this school combines two different fields—management and technology . To answer this question effectively, you'll need to know exactly how the two can work together. Think about why you've chosen this particular program—what can you gain from it that you wouldn't from a program in either management or technology? How will a degree in this program help you reach your personal and career goals? This prompt asks for how you'll use it to explore your interests, so don't be afraid to get specific!

The second question is also concerned with your problem-solving ability. This classic prompt wants to know about a time when you faced adversity and either overcame it or learned from it. Don't be afraid to show yourself tackling a real challenge here—your ability to persevere is more important than showing that you never make mistakes.

The Rejendra and Neera Singh Program in Networked and Social Systems Engineering

Describe your interests in modern networked information systems and technologies, such as the internet, and their impact on society, whether in terms of economics, communication, or the creation of beneficial content for society. Feel free to draw on examples from your own experiences as a user, developer, or student of technology. (400-650 words)

The easiest way to answer this prompt is with a story. Tell the admissions committee how you became interested in this line of study.

You should be as specific as possible in your answer. After all, the prompt calls for examples from your own experience. You should be able to clearly articulate where your interest stemmed from. Don't feel like you have to talk about everything that interests you within this field—focusing on one or two clear examples that you have a lot of interest in will go further than trying to talk about everything related to networked information systems and technologies.

Nursing and Healthcare Management

Discuss your interest in nursing and health care management. How might Penn's coordinated dual-degree program in nursing and business help you meet your goals? (400-650 words)

You have plenty of space in this prompt (up to 650 words), so you should make sure to address both parts of the question—why you're interested in Penn's nursing and healthcare management program and how the program will help you achieve your future goals.

Key to answering the second part of the prompt is to have some future goals thought out—have a specific idea of what you want to do with your degree. Then, tie that back to things you can study at UPenn. It would be helpful for this prompt to familiarize yourself with aspects of UPenn's program—courses, professors, learning and employment opportunities. The more you can show why UPenn is the right school for you to achieve your goals, the better your essay will be.

The Roy and Diana Vagelos Integrated Program in Energy Research

How do you envision your participation in the Vagelos Integrated Program in Energy Research (VIPER) furthering your interests in energy science and technology? Please include any past experiences (ex. academic, research, or extracurricular) that have led to your interest in the program. Additionally, please indicate why you are interested in pursuing dual degrees in science and engineering and which VIPER majors are most interesting to you at this time. (400-650 words)

This prompt wants to know exactly how you think the VIPER program will help you reach your future goals. You also need to touch on why you want to get a dual-degree. You have plenty of space in this prompt, so make sure you answer each aspect thoroughly. Don't invent previous experience if you don't have it—be honest and authentic in your answer.

You should have a clear idea about which VIPER majors you're interested in. Be prepared to name specific UPenn majors and provide reasoning, in the form of classes you'd like to take or professors you'd like to study with.

5 Tips for Acing the UPenn Supplement

Hoping to write amazing UPenn supplement essays? Follow these key tips to do so!

#1: Use Your Own Voice

The point of a college essay is for the admissions committee to have the chance to get to know you beyond what's featured in other parts of your application. Your admissions essays are your chance to become more than just a collection of statistics—to really come alive for your application readers.

Make sure that the person you're presenting in your college essays is yourself. Don't just write what you think the committee wants to hear or try to act like someone you're not—it will be really easy for the committee to tell you're lying.

If you lie or exaggerate, your essay will come across as insincere, which will at best diminish its effectiveness and at worst make the admissions committee think twice on accepting you. Stick to telling real stories about the person you really are, not who you think UPenn wants you to be.

#2: Be UPenn-Specific

All of your UPenn essays should be UPenn-specific. Don't be generic in your answers—the admissions committee should get the idea that you know about UPenn and that your answer is specific to that school, not about college in general.

Don't waste your time telling the admissions committee that UPenn has a world-class faculty—first of all, the admissions committee knows that and second, many universities do. Talk about why UPenn is the right school for you and be prepared to give real, concrete examples.

#3: Do Your Research

You can make your essay UPenn-specific by doing your research. Look into the course catalogue, visit your prospective major's website. Schedule a meeting with a professor or current student if you can. The more specific information you have, the better.

#4: Avoid Clichés and Overused Phrases

When writing your UPenn essays, don't use clichés or overused quotes or phrases. The college admissions committee has probably seen numerous essays that state, "Be the change you want to see in the world." You can write something more original than that!

Each of the UPenn essays asks you something specific about your experience or background. Your essay should be 100% you —you don't want the admissions committee to think, "Anyone could have written this essay."

#5: Check Your Work

Your UPenn essays should be the strongest example of your work possible. Before you turn in your UPenn application, edit and proofread your essays.

Run your essays through a spelling and grammar check before you submit and ask someone else to read your essays. You can seek a second opinion on your work from a parent, teacher, or friend. Ask them whether your work represents you as a student and person. Have them check and make sure you haven't missed any small writing errors. Having a second opinion will help your work be the best it possibly can be.

#6: Have a Spike

What's a spike, you ask?

In short, a spike is something that makes you stand out. Something that no (or very few) other applicants have.

When you're applying to college, it's tempting to seem well-rounded and interested in all the things.

Don't do that.

Your application won't stand out if you're mediocre in band, on the track team, and on student council. It will stand out if you travel to Japan to perform with a world-class performance ensemble or qualify for the Olympic trials in shot put.

When your focus is on one thing, you'll be better at it than if you have to split your time and attention. It will also be more impressive on your resume.

Final Thoughts

Your UPenn essay is an important part of your application. Depending on the specific school you're applying to, you may have to write three or more essays.

No matter which school at UPenn you're applying to, keep in mind:

• Be authentic.
• Highlight your best qualities.
• Use specific examples of UPenn courses and professors you want to study.
• Be generic.
• Make anything up about yourself.
• Split your focus by talking about too many different ideas.

What's Next?

If you're applying to UPenn, you're likely applying to other colleges on the East Coast, too. Check out our expert guides to the Williams essay , the Tufts essays , and the Harvard essay .

Need help writing your Common App essay? Our tips will show you how to write a Common App essay guaranteed to make you stand out from other applicants!

Hayley Milliman is a former teacher turned writer who blogs about education, history, and technology. When she was a teacher, Hayley's students regularly scored in the 99th percentile thanks to her passion for making topics digestible and accessible. In addition to her work for PrepScholar, Hayley is the author of Museum Hack's Guide to History's Fiercest Females.

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University of Pennsylvania (UPenn) Supplemental Essays Guide: 2021-2022

Not sure how to approach the UPenn essay prompts? CollegeAdvisor.com’s guide to the UPenn supplemental essays will show you exactly how to write engaging UPenn essays and maximize your chances of admission. Need help crafting your UPenn supplemental essays? Create your free  account  or  schedule a free advising consultation  by calling (844) 343-6272.

UPenn  Essay Guide Quick Facts:

• UPenn has an acceptance rate of 5.7%— U.S. News  ranks UPenn as a  highly competitive  school.
• We recommend answering all UPenn supplemental essays comprehensively and thoughtfully.

Does UPenn Have Supplemental Essays?

Yes. In addition to the main essay prompt that you’ll encounter in the  Common App  or  Coalition App , you’ll also have to answer additional UPenn essays. Both of the required UPenn essays can make a critical difference in admissions.

Need some help writing your Common App essay? Get great tips from our Common App essay  guide .

What are the UPenn Supplemental Essays?

The UPenn supplemental essays 2021-2022 are on the  Common App site . However, you can also visit the  UPenn admissions page  to view the UPenn essay prompts and other application requirements.

How Many Essays does UPenn Require?

There are  two  required UPenn essay prompts on the 2021-2022 Common App. All applicants must complete both UPenn application essays in order to be considered for admission. In addition to the UPenn supplemental essays that all applications must complete, there are additional program-specific essays that we’ll cover below.

As you look at the UPenn essays, however, you’ll also notice that there are several special degree programs with additional UPenn application essays. If you intend to apply to one of these programs, make sure you complete the specific UPenn essays referenced on the UPenn supplemental  essays page .

This guide to the UPenn essay prompts will primarily cover the general UPenn supplemental essays. However, we will walk through the prompts for the program-specific UPenn essays to help you approach them with confidence. You can also use the tips we provide in this guide to help craft your program-specific UPenn application essays.

What does UPenn Look For in Essays?

The point of UPenn supplemental essays is for the admissions officers to get a picture of how you’d fit into UPenn, both academically and socially. Simply put, the UPenn essay prompts are designed to help you show the admissions team who you would be at UPenn.

At the end of the day, the admissions team wants to build a college class full of interesting students from a variety of backgrounds. If your reader can envision how you would fit into this class, your UPenn essays have done their job.

Want to view examples of successful UPenn supplemental essays? Check out our sample UPenn application  essays  written by our advisors who were admitted to UPenn.

How to Write the UPenn Essays:

We have provided the prompts for the 2021-2022 UPenn supplemental essays below. You’ll find a breakdown of how to approach each of the UPenn essays as well as tips for creating an application narrative that will stand out in admissions.

UPenn Supplemental Essays – Question 1 (Required):

Considering the specific undergraduate school you have selected, how will you explore your academic and intellectual interests at the University of Pennsylvania?  For students applying to the coordinated dual-degree and specialized programs, please answer these questions in regard to your single-degree school choice; your interest in the coordinated dual-degree or specialized program may be addressed through the program-specific essay. (300-450 words)

At first glance, the prompt for the first of the UPenn supplemental essays may seem long and elaborate. Of the two required UPenn essay prompts, however, this one is arguably more straightforward. Much of the prompt itself clarifies how students applying to a dual-degree or specialized program should approach the question.

With the fluff removed, your first UPenn essay should answer the much simpler question, “How will you explore your academic and intellectual interests at the University of Pennsylvania?” Looking at this simplified prompt for the UPenn supplemental essays, the key elements stand out. The university wants to know more about your academic and personal interests and how UPenn will help you explore them.

Academic vs. intellectual

Remember, this UPenn essay prompt breaks interests down into two components: academic and intellectual. It may be tempting to conflate these categories. However, this separation gives us insight into how to write the UPenn essays. In evaluating your UPenn supplemental essays, the admissions team wants to see that you prioritize intellectual engagement both inside and outside of the classroom.

As you approach this UPenn essay, compile a list of your interests. Sort out the interests which best show your curiosity, and then categorize them into academic and non-academic. Familiarize yourself with UPenn’s  degrees  and  course  offerings, and then see when your interests—academic and intellectual—accord with UPenn’s resources.

For example, you may plan to study music but have always had a passion for forensics. Use this space to talk about how you’d like to take UPenn’s forensic analysis course.  You may be an American history buff who awaits opportunities for exploration offered by the school’s location in Philadelphia. If there’s a course that will also deepen your understanding of American history, even better! Essentially, this UPenn essay prompt asks you to demonstrate that you’ve done your research and can articulate concrete examples of how UPenn will help you pursue your interests. Remember to draw your readers in with an opening anecdote or story. In fact, when approaching UPenn supplemental essays, remember that how you write about your topic is nearly as important as what you’re writing about.

Be specific

UPenn application essays value quality over quantity and specificity over generality. For example, don’t simply state that you want to take a political science course. Instead, describe a specific course and professor from UPenn’s class roster. Then, include an explanation of how you see yourself learning better in this situation than anywhere else. This prompt grants a generous 450 words, so you have room to be descriptive.

Finally, keep in mind that the prompt asks you to “[consider] the specific undergraduate school you have selected.” While a student applying to the  School of Engineering and Applied Science  (also known as Penn Engineering) and one applying to the  Wharton School  will both describe their passions in their UPenn supplemental essays, the passions that they illustrate should almost certainly be different. That is, make sure your prospective major accords with the rest of your application.

“Why Upenn”

In your UPenn application essay, you essentially want to determine what makes your target school right for you and communicate this to your readers. After completing the UPenn essay prompts, perform a simple test to ensure your essay meets its goals. If you can replace “UPenn” with another school and your essay still makes sense, then you haven’t been specific enough. UPenn supplemental essays should be highly specific to the school. Demonstrated interest, or your ability to show how interested you are in attending the school you’re apply to, is a key part of the application process.

UPenn Essay Draft Key Questions:

• Does your essay distinguish between academic and intellectual interests?
• Do you tailor your response to the specific undergraduate school you are applying to?
• Does your essay mention specific courses, regional attractions, professors, etc. only available at UPenn?

UPenn Supplemental Essays – Question 2 (Required):

At Penn, learning and growth happen outside of the classrooms, too. How will you explore the community at Penn? Consider how this community will help shape your perspective and identity, and how your identity and perspective will help shape this community. (150-200 words)

Of the two required UPenn supplemental essays, this is the shorter–both in delivery and word limit. However, the lower word limit doesn’t make this UPenn essay prompt less consequential. This UPenn essay is just as important as the other UPenn application essays, if not more.

While the first of the UPenn supplemental essays evaluates each prospective student’s intellectual life, the second one gauges each student’s community involvement. Like the other Ivy League institutions, UPenn prioritizes collective learning and engagement with peers. The admissions team hopes that each student will build a sense of community at UPenn–whether that be by joining or creating a club, participating in  school traditions , or otherwise engaging in UPenn’s various offerings. To that end, this UPenn essay serves as an opportunity for you to convey your identities in relation to the UPenn community.

Define community

Like the first UPenn essay, you can approach this UPenn essay prompt in a variety of ways. For instance, you could focus on the school’s location by speaking about the unique culture and history that Philadelphia offers. Successful UPenn supplemental essays may also discuss the school itself, focusing on specific organizations on campus.

Be sure to thoroughly research your UPenn application essays. Don’t just say you hope to join a theater organization. Instead, mention the name of the school’s thespian club (in UPenn’s case,  Quadramics Theatre Co. ). Look at UPenn’s  listings of groups and organizations  before writing, and highlight any organizations that you find appealing.

While you should use your UPenn essay prompts to tell a story about yourself, you should also use these UPenn application essays to discuss interests that don’t appear elsewhere in your application. After all, there are only so many ways to say, “I have a burning love for every possible form of mathematics.” If you’ve already addressed your primary interest in one of the other UPenn supplemental essays, you might choose to focus on a secondary passion in the second essay. In general, UPenn application essays should present a cohesive picture of you as a student and person, not a repetitive one.

Note that this UPenn essay asks how you will grow at UPenn as well as how you will influence the community around you. UPenn does not want a static student. Instead, they want you to actively contribute to your circles while learning from others around you.

Show growth

In your UPenn essay, showcase specific opportunities to learn and grow at UPenn and specify why those opportunities would promote your development. For example, one student might say, “Through Asians for Justice, I can explore my intersectional identity as an Asian American woman and further advocate for social justice initiatives.” This response shows how you hope to be informed by your peers while also clarifying how you hope to make a change in your community. The admissions officers reading UPenn supplemental essays are looking for strong and unique perspectives. Thinking about your definition of community, and how that may evolve during your four years at UPenn can be a helpful place to start.

• Does this essay cover new ground from your first essay?
• Do you reference specific facets of the UPenn community that you hope to participate in?
• Do you explain how you will learn and grow at UPenn?

Program-Specific UPenn Supplemental Essays (Required, if applying to a specialized program):

Dmd: digital media design program.

Why are you interested in the Digital Media Design (DMD) program at the University of Pennsylvania? (400-650 words / 3575 characters)

Huntsman: The Huntsman Program in International Studies and Business

The Huntsman Program supports the development of globally-minded scholars who become engaged citizens, creative innovators, and ethical leaders in the public, private, and non-profit sectors in the United States and internationally. What draws you to a dual-degree program in business and international studies, and how would you use what you learn to make a contribution to a global issue where business and international affairs intersect? (400-650 words)

Interested in applying to the Huntsman Program? This extremely competitive program only admits about 50 students each year. Consequently, the admissions officers are on the lookout for UPenn supplemental essays that stand out from the crowd. Our CollegeAdvisor guide for the Huntsman Program includes tips and an essay example breakdown from an Admissions Expert who was admitted to the program!

LSM: The Roy and Diana Vagelos Program in Life Sciences and Management

The LSM program aims to provide students with a fundamental understanding of the life sciences and their management with an eye to identifying, advancing and implementing innovations. What issues would you want to address using the understanding gained from such a program? Note that this essay should be distinct from your single degree essay. (400-650 words)

M&T: The Jerome Fisher Program in Management and Technology

Explain how you will use the M&T program to explore your interest in business, engineering, and the intersection of the two. (400-650 words)

Describe a problem that you solved that showed leadership and creativity. (250 words)

NETS: The Rajendra and Neera Singh Program in Networked and Social Systems Engineering

Describe your interests in modern networked information systems and technologies, such as the internet, and their impact on society, whether in terms of economics, communication, or the creation of beneficial content for society. Feel free to draw on examples from your own experiences as a user, developer, or student of technology. (400-650 words / 3575 characters)

NHCM: Nursing and Healthcare Management

Discuss your interest in nursing and health care management. How might Penn’s coordinated dual-degree program in nursing and business help you meet your goals? (400-650 words)

Seven-Year Bio-Dental Program

Please list pre-dental or pre-medical experience. This experience can include, but is not limited to, observation in a private practice, dental clinic, or hospital setting, dental assisting, dental laboratory work, dental or medical research, etc. Please include time allotted to each activity, dates of attendance, location, and description of your experience. If you do not have any pre-dental or pre-medical experience, please indicate what you have done that led you to your decision to enter dentistry.

List any activities which demonstrate your ability to work with your hands.

What activities have you performed that demonstrate your ability to work cooperatively with people?

Please explain your reasons for selecting a career in dentistry. Please include what interests you the most in dentistry as well as what interests you the least.

Do you have relatives who are dentists or are in dental school? If so, indicate the name of each relative, his/her relationship to you, the school attended, and the dates attended.

Please note that there is a 250 word limit for the Bio-Dental Program supplemental essays.

VIPER: The Roy and Diana Vagelos Integrated Program in Energy Research

How do you envision your participation in the Vagelos Integrated Program in Energy Research (VIPER) furthering your interests in energy science and technology? Please include any past experiences (ex. academic, research, or extracurricular) that have led to your interest in the program. Additionally, please indicate why you are interested in pursuing dual degrees in science and engineering and which VIPER majors are most interesting to you at this time. (400-650 words)

If you choose to apply for one of the specialized programs above, you must respond to the aforementioned UPenn application essays along with the additional, program-specific UPenn essay.

For these UPenn essay prompts, make sure you reference internships, research programs, clubs, or other experiences that specifically drew you to your chosen program. These programs are highly selective, so demonstrated interest is important.

These UPenn essay prompts are not unlike the ones you’ve already completed! Essentially, all of the program-specific UPenn essay prompts ask you to describe why you’re drawn to the program to which you are applying.

Answering these UPenn application essays requires a two-step approach. Firstly, explain why you’re interested in the program. Take Huntsman, for example, you’ll want to begin your response by describing how your involvement in Future Business Leaders of America has sparked your interest in business and international affairs. Secondly, the best answers to these program-specific UPenn supplemental essays will illustrate how the student’s program program of interest will help them develop personally and professionally. Do your research  —  whether it’s by speaking to students, reading The Daily Pennsylvanian, or simply browsing through the site  —  and highlight specific facets of your chosen program that will allow you to develop your interests.

Program-specific UPenn Essay Draft Key Questions:

• Have you referenced internships, research programs, clubs, or other past experiences?
• Do you extensively convey your expertise and interest in your chosen program?
• Does your essay draft show that you’ve done your research on your chosen program?

UPenn Supplemental Essays – Final Thoughts:

Completing the UPenn supplemental essays can seem daunting, but don’t let them discourage you from applying. Instead, view these UPenn essays as an opportunity to introduce yourself to the admissions team.

For more information on UPenn’s application and the UPenn supplemental essays, you can view this video from their admissions team:

In fact, this  UPenn YouTube  playlist on admissions should be bookmarked by any students looking to attend. Hearing tips, straight from the university on how to approach elements of the application is a great way to clear up confusion and provide guidance if you’re stumped.

You can also check out our free webinar on UPenn, which was led by two current UPenn students. In this webinar, they discuss the ins and outs of attending the University of Pennsylvania, as well as an in-depth look at the admissions process.

When approaching the UPenn supplemental essays, remember to give them the time and attention that they deserve. A well-written set of UPenn essay prompts can work in your favor. Use this UPenn supplemental essays guide, as well as our UPenn essay examples to help you approach each of the UPenn application essays with a solid strategy and enough time to draft and revise each of your answers to the UPenn essay prompts. Good luck!

This 2021-2022 essay guide was written by  Juliana Furigay , Columbia ‘23. For more CollegeAdvisor.com resources on UPenn, click  here . Want help crafting your UPenn supplemental essays? Create your free  account  or  schedule a no-cost advising consultation  by calling (844) 343-6272.

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August 22, 2023

2023-2024 University of Pennsylvania Essay Prompts

The University of Pennsylvania has released its essay prompts for the 2023-2024 college admissions cycle. In all, just like last year, applicants to the UPenn Class of 2028 will be asked to answer three required supplemental essays — in addition to The Common Application Personal Statement. In addition, there are additional essay requirements for UPenn’s coordinated dual degree and specialized programs. So what are this year’s UPenn supplemental essays , and how should they be tackled?

2023-2024 UPenn Essay Topics & Questions

Essays for all applicants.

Applicants to UPenn have 150-200 words for each of the three required supplemental admissions essays.

The first two supplemental essay prompts are as follows:

1. Write a short thank-you note to someone you have not yet thanked and would like to acknowledge. (We encourage you to share this note with that person, if possible, and reflect on the experience!)

When responding to this essay prompt, it’s important to note that the letter shouldn’t only be sweet. Even though it’s addressed to someone an applicant would like to acknowledge, it still needs to showcase the student’s intellectual curiosity if they hope to stand out. The person need not be hugely influential in our world — in fact, we’d discourage as much since that would risk rendering an applicant less likable as it would appear they’re trying to impress. But the narrative presented to the person must showcase how a student thinks.

2. How will you explore community at Penn? Consider how Penn will help shape your perspective and identity, and how your identity and perspective will help shape Penn.

This prompt is a version of a Why College essay . As such, it needs to be filled with specific after specific of how an applicant hopes to contribute to UPenn’s culture — from activities to traditions — all through the prism of a student’s evolving and ideally always malleable perspective.

Unlike in past years, the third essay prompt depends on the school within UPenn to which a student is applying (the College of Arts and Sciences , The Wharton School , the School of Engineering and Applied Sciences , or the School of Nursing ).

School-Specific Essay for All Applicants

The third essay prompt is school-dependent. The school-specific prompts, which must also be answered in 150-200 words, are as follows:

College of Arts and Sciences

The flexible structure of The College of Arts and Sciences’ curriculum is designed to inspire exploration, foster connections, and help you create a path of study through general education courses and a major. What are you curious about and how would you take advantage of opportunities in the arts and sciences?

Many applicants will fall through the big trap door for this essay prompt by writing about the classes they hope to take in the College of Arts and Sciences. But classes change, and admissions officers know that students can cut and paste a course from one university and change the name for the next university.

Instead, in this essay, it would behoove applicants to capture the enduring specifics of the curriculum. What’s the school’s secret sauce for how UPenn teaches the major the applicant wishes to study? Is there a weird requirement for the major? Are students required to participate in scientific studies? Will students need to attend a weekly lecture series in a library over tea and crackers? It’s these kind of details that can make all the difference.

The Wharton School Essay Prompt

Wharton prepares its students to make an impact by applying business methods and economic theory to real-world problems, including economic, political, and social issues. Please reflect on a current issue of importance to you and share how you hope a Wharton education would help you to explore it.

This prompt is a hybrid: part select an issue that matters to an applicant and part showcase how that issue can be addressed within Wharton. So pick an interesting issue — and students should not pick a topic that everyone will agree with them on. Ethics in business? Who doesn’t believe people should be ethical in business? And when students address the Why Wharton component of the prompt, make sure it’s filled with genuine specifics about the school within the school. And, no, name-dropping professors who may or may not be there next year do not count nor does listing classes that one can cut and paste from one university’s course catalog to the next.

School of Engineering and Applied Sciences Essay Prompt

Penn Engineering prepares its students to become leaders in technology, by combining a strong foundation in the natural sciences and mathematics, exploration in the liberal arts, and depth of study in focused disciplinary majors. Please share how you hope to explore your engineering interests at Penn.

This is a straight up the middle Why Penn Engineering question . The answer should be filled with specifics on how a student hopes to leave a mark on the world — through the power of engineering — with the help of the school within a school. Name-dropping professors and classes do not count as genuine specifics and risk rendering an applicant unlikable. Instead, applicants would be wise to select enduring specifics about UPenn’s engineering school to wow UPenn’s admissions officers.

School of Nursing Essay Prompt

Penn Nursing intends to meet the health needs of society in a global and multicultural world by preparing its students to impact healthcare by advancing science and promoting equity. What do you think this means for the future of nursing, and how do you see yourself contributing to our mission of promoting equity in healthcare?

This prompt is the equivalent of a Why Major question: Why nursing? It’s a chance to share a unique narrative that inspires admissions officers to want to root for a student. As such, there are better ways to go than writing about how one wants to be a nurse to help people. Clichés have no place in college admissions essays. And while the prompt doesn’t ask applicants to include specifics on UPenn’s School or Nursing, peppering in a few unique aspects of the school within a school will only help an applicant stand out.

Coordinated Dual Degree and Specialized Programs Short Answer Prompts

UPenn’s coordinated dual degree and specialized programs require essays of varying word and character counts. The prompts for each of the programs, along with their corresponding word and character counts are below:

DMD: Digital Media Design Program

Why are you interested in the Digital Media Design (DMD) program at the University of Pennsylvania? (400-650 words / 3575 characters)

This prompt is a Why Program essay. As such, it should be filled with genuine specific after specific that only apply to the program. That means no class names and no professor names. Applicants should instead endeavor to capture the enduring specifics of the program.

Huntsman: The Huntsman Program in International Studies and Business

The Huntsman Program supports the development of globally minded scholars who become engaged citizens, creative innovators, and ethical leaders in the public, private, and non-profit sectors in the United States and internationally. What draws you to a dual-degree program in business and international studies, and how would you use what you learn to contribute to a global issue where business and international affairs intersect? (400-650 words)

Huntsman applicants should have an interest in  international  business. As such, students need to articulate — ideally through their experiences and activities — what’s at the core of their interest in global markets. Applicants should not be general but choose one specific area within international business and showcase how they hope to leave an imprint in this area during their lifetime.

LSM: The Roy and Diana Vagelos Program in Life Sciences and Management

The LSM program aims to provide students with a fundamental understanding of the life sciences and their management with an eye to identifying, advancing, and implementing innovations. What issues would you want to address using the understanding gained from such a program? Note that this essay should be distinct from your single degree essay. (400-650 words)

Applicants should pick a topic within the life sciences — ideally, an issue that isn’t addressed all too often — and then outline how they hope to make a difference in this area during their college years and in the years that follow. Dare to choose a topic that’s a little bit controversial — that’s ok! Writing only about safe topics is a surefire way to create a bland application, so applicants should ignore all advice that sets them down that path.

M&T: The Jerome Fisher Program in Management and Technology

Explain how you will use the M&T program to explore your interest in business, engineering, and the intersection of the two. (400-650 words)

This prompt is a straight-up-the-middle Why Program essay. It should be filled not only with an applicant’s origin story, as high schoolers, for their interest in the intersection of business and engineering, but peppered throughout should be enduring specifics that apply to the Jerome Fisher program and only to the Jerome Fisher program. That means students should not name-drop professor names and class names since professors leave and classes change (not to mention, name-dropping professors undercuts a student’s likability).

Describe a problem that you solved that showed leadership and creativity. (250 words)

An applicant’s choice of a problem they’ve solved need not be grand in scale though it  should  be interesting. It can be a simple problem. Students have set themselves up for success as long as the issue’s at the intersection of engineering and business (or potentially business in the future, which can be outlined in this essay). Ideally, through detailing the problem, admissions officers might even learn something — not only about the applicant but about the issue. Applicants should always aim to make admissions officers smarter for having read their essays!

NETS: The Rajendra and Neera Singh Program in Networked and Social Systems Engineering

Describe your interests in modern networked information systems and technologies, such as the internet, and their impact on society, whether in terms of economics, communication, or the creation of beneficial content for society. Feel free to draw on examples from your own experiences as a user, developer, or student of technology. (400-650 words / 3575 characters**)

Make sure to pick a topic everyone, even admissions officers who aren’t necessarily computer scientists, can understand. And don’t pick a topic that appears in the press just about every day. Yes, that means writing about big technology startups controlling too much private user data and not using it responsibly is out.

NHCM: Nursing and Healthcare Management

Discuss your interest in nursing and health care management. How might Penn’s coordinated dual-degree program in nursing and business help you meet your goals? (400-650 words)

This prompt is a hybrid: Why Nursing and Why NHCM. Students should articulate the origin of their interest in nursing (as high schoolers, not as children) and then pepper in many specifics about NHCM that are unique to NHCM. That means if one can cut and paste a line from this essay for another school or program, it should be deleted.

Seven-Year Bio-Dental Program

Please list any predental or premedical experience. This experience can include but is not limited to observation in a private practice, dental clinic, or hospital setting; dental assisting; dental laboratory work; dental or medical research; etc. Please include time allotted to each activity, dates of attendance, location, and a description of your experience. If you do not have any predental or premedical experience, please indicate what you have done or plan to do in order to explore dentistry as a career.

Do write a list. Don’t write an essay. It’s critical to follow the instructions!

Do you have relatives who are dentists or are in dental school? If so, indicate the name of each relative, his/her relationship to you, the school attended, and the dates attended.

This prompt is self-explanatory. No creativity is necessary!

Describe any activities which demonstrate your ability to work with your hands.

As long as this essay showcases intellectual curiosity, the answer can be silly, like playdough. But it  must  showcase intellectual curiosity!

What activities have you performed that demonstrate your ability to work effectively with people?

Tell a story here (or two stories!). The right kind of stories — rather than generic activities that showcase an applicant’s ability to work with others effectively — can inspire admissions officers to root for an applicant.

Please explain your reasons for selecting dentistry. Please include what interests you the most about dentistry as well as what interests you least.

This prompt is a straight-up-the-middle Why Dentistry essay. Applicants should make sure not to write about the origin of their interest in becoming a dentist as a child. It should be as a high schooler to showcase how the applicant thinks.

VIPER: The Roy and Diana Vagelos Integrated Program in Energy Research

How do you envision your participation in the Vagelos Integrated Program in Energy Research (VIPER) furthering your interests in energy science and technology? Please include any past experiences (ex. academic, research, or extracurricular) that have led to your interest in the program. Additionally, please indicate why you are interested in pursuing dual degrees in science and engineering and which VIPER majors are most interesting to you at this time. (400-650 words)

This prompt is a hybrid: it’s part Why Energy Science and Technology and part Why VIPER. The origin story for the interest in energy science and technology should stem from high school, and peppered throughout the essay should be specifics about VIPER that don’t apply to any other program at any other university.

Ivy Coach’s Assistance with University of Pennsylvania Essays

If you’re interested in presenting the most compelling storytelling possible in the UPenn supplemental essays, fill out Ivy Coach ’s consultation form , and we’ll be in touch to outline our college counseling services that are directly with Ivy Coach’s Jayson Weingarten , a former University of Pennsylvania admissions officer.

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University of Pennsylvania (UPenn) 2023-24 Supplemental Essay Prompt Guide

Early Decision: Nov 1

Regular Decision Deadline: Jan 5

You Have: 

University of Pennsylvania 2023-24 Application Essay Question Explanations 

The Requirements: 3 essays of 150-200 words

Supplemental Essay Type(s):  Community , Why

Write a short thank-you note to someone you have not yet thanked and would like to acknowledge. (We encourage you to share this note with that person, if possible, and reflect on the experience!) (150-200 words)

Gratitude is quickly becoming a practice we are encouraged to connect to and reflect on regularly, hence the popularity of gratitude journals and exercises. (Brainstorming method alert!) It’s not a surprise, therefore, that the admissions department at UPenn wants to learn about what you value and how you express gratitude. Think about times when you have felt acknowledged, heard, and seen; moments when you have felt that swelling in your chest, as your heart grows three sizes. Who would you like to thank and why? What impact did they have on your life? How did their actions affect the way you think or approach new ventures? Remember that this essay or “note” needs to reveal information about how you process, appreciate, and/or draw inspiration from the action of others. Ultimately, admissions wants to know more about how you relate to others in the world and how you repurpose good intentions. Bonus points if you share your “thank you” note with the associated party after hitting submit!

How will you explore community at Penn? Consider how Penn will help shape your perspective, and how your experiences and perspective will help shape Penn. (150-200 words)

Admissions wants to know how you will participate in the Penn campus community, so start by thinking about what you’d like to do when you’re not cramming for exams or soaking up your professors’ sage wisdom (a little website research could come in handy here). If that hypothetical exercise is not producing quality ideas, think about the here and now. Where can you be found when your homework is done? How do you spend your weekends? Think of an activity or topic that gets you interacting and connecting with other like-minded peers. Once you have something in mind, explore Penn’s website to see if they have a similar group or community that you’d like to join. Admissions wants to know what your area of influence will look like at UPenn: an on-campus job, a unique hobby, or maybe an organization to which you contribute innovative ideas and exquisite cake decorating skills (bake sale, anyone?). Finally, remember to address how UPenn will shape your perspective and vice versa. Will the Black Wharton Undergraduate Association help you to explore your entrepreneurial interests? Will your plethora of non-profit internship and volunteering experiences make you a fantastic addition to and a natural leader in the Social Impact Consulting Group? Whatever you write about, make sure your response to this prompt shows that you have put some serious thought into what your life will look like at UPenn.

If Applying to Wharton:

Wharton prepares its students to make an impact by applying business methods and economic theory to real-world problems, including economic, political, and social issues. please reflect on a current issue of importance to you and share how you hope a wharton education would help you to explore it. (150-200 words)  , to help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about the foundations of a wharton education here . this information will help you better understand what you could learn by studying at wharton and what you could do afterward.* , if applying to arts and sciences:, the flexible structure of the college of arts and sciences’ curriculum is designed to inspire exploration, foster connections, and help you create a path of study through general education courses and a major. what are you curious about and how would you take advantage of opportunities in the arts and sciences (150-200 words) , to help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about academic offerings within the college of arts and sciences at college.upenn.edu/prospective. this information will help you develop a stronger understanding of how the study of the liberal arts aligns with your own goals and aspirations.*, if applying to engineering: , penn engineering prepares its students to become leaders in technology, by combining a strong foundation in the natural sciences and mathematics, exploration in the liberal arts, and depth of study in focused disciplinary majors. please share how you hope to explore your engineering interests at penn. (150-200 words) , to help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about penn engineering and its mission to prepare students for global leadership in technology here. this information will help you develop a stronger understanding of academic pathways within penn engineering and how they align with your goals and interests.*, if applying to nursing:, penn nursing intends to meet the health needs of society in a global and multicultural world by preparing its students to impact healthcare by advancing science and promoting equity. what do you think this means for the future of nursing, and how do you see yourself contributing to our mission of promoting equity in healthcare (150-200 words)   , to help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about penn nursing’s mission and how we promote equity in healthcare here.  this information will help you develop a stronger understanding of our values and how they align with your own goals and aspirations. *.

With each of these prompts, admissions is hoping to gain insight into your goals and ambitions. Whether you’re hoping to combat societal issues through business, explore your curiosity through The College of Arts and Sciences’ curriculum, become a leader in tech, or promote equity in healthcare, your response should reveal new information about your passions, motivations, and vision for the future. Since you only have 150-200 words to work with here, you won’t be able to walk admissions through your journey to the college of your choice, but you can offer insight into the kind of work you’d like to do and the impact you’d like to have post-graduation. Just keep in mind that the best responses will cite specific resources at Penn in order to show that it is Penn, specifically, that will be instrumental to your future success.

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The Penn application process includes a personal essay as well as supplemental short answer prompts. We read your words carefully, as they are yet another window into how you think, what you value, and how you see the world. Through your writing, we get a glimpse of what you might bring to our community, including  your voice and creativity.

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Before you begin writing:

• Review the prompt thoroughly. Be sure you’re answering the question or prompt being asked. T opics are chosen because the Admissions Committee wants to know specific things about you. If you don’t address the them directly, we are left to make decisions regarding your application with incomplete information.
• Consider your response carefully. We understand that you may be writing responses for different schools and you may want to reuse material, but read through your response to make sure the content is relevant to the prompt.
• Double check your writing. Give yourself time to revisit your response. Do not rush your writing process; create space in your schedule to revise your work. Ultimately, it is up to you to polish your response before you submit.

In your Penn supplemental short answers, be precise when explaining both why you are applying to Penn and why you have chosen to apply to that specific undergraduate school. Some of our specialized programs will have additional essays to complete, but the Penn supplemental prompts should address the single-degree or single-school choice.

2023-24 Short Answer & Essay Prompts

Penn Supplemental Short Answer Prompts (Required)

• Write a short thank-you note to someone you have not yet thanked and would like to acknowledge. (We encourage you to share this note with that person, if possible, and reflect on the experience!) (150-200 words, only required for first year applicants)
• How will you explore community at Penn? Consider how Penn will help shape your perspective, and how your experiences and perspective will help shape Penn. (150-200 words)
• The school-specific prompt will now be unique to the school to which a student is applying. Considering the undergraduate school you have selected, please respond to your school-specific prompt below. (For example, all applicants applying to the College of Arts and Sciences will respond to the prompt under the “College of Arts and Sciences” section).

For students applying to the coordinated dual-degree and specialized programs, please answer this question in regard to your single-degree school choice; your interest in the coordinated dual-degree or specialized program may be addressed through the program-specific essay.

Transfer Essay  (required for all transfer applicants): Please explain your reasons for transferring from your current institution and what you hope to gain by transferring to another institution. (4150 characters)

Penn Nursing intends to meet the health needs of society in a global and multicultural world by preparing its students to impact healthcare by advancing science and promoting equity. What do you think this means for the future of nursing, and how do you see yourself contributing to our mission of promoting equity in healthcare? (150-200 words)

To help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about Penn Nursing’s mission and how we promote equity in healthcare . This information will help you develop a stronger understanding of our values and how they align with your own goals and aspirations.

The flexible structure of The College of Arts and Sciences’ curriculum is designed to inspire exploration, foster connections, and help you create a path of study through general education courses and a major. What are you curious about and how would you take advantage of opportunities in the arts and sciences? (150-200 words)

To help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about the academic offerings within the College of Arts and Sciences .  This information will help you develop a stronger understanding of how the study of the liberal arts aligns with your own goals and aspirations.

Wharton prepares its students to make an impact by applying business methods and economic theory to real-world problems, including economic, political, and social issues.  Please reflect on a current issue of importance to you and share how you hope a Wharton education would help you to explore it.  (150-200 words)

To help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about the foundations of a Wharton education . This information will help you better understand what you could learn by studying at Wharton and what you could do afterward.

Penn Engineering prepares its students to become leaders in technology, by combining a strong foundation in the natural sciences and mathematics, exploration in the liberal arts, and depth of study in focused disciplinary majors. Please share how you hope to explore your engineering interests at Penn. (150-200 words)

To help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about Penn Engineering and its mission to prepare students for global leadership in technology . This information will help you develop a stronger understanding of academic pathways within Penn Engineering and how they align with your goals and interests.

Coordinated Dual Degree and Specialized Programs Short Answer Prompts

For students applying to the coordinated dual-degree and specialized programs, please answer the program-specific essay below.

** Character count that only applies to transfer students applying through Common App.

Why are you interested in the Digital Media Design (DMD) program at the University of Pennsylvania? (400-650 words / 3575 characters**)

The Huntsman Program supports the development of globally minded scholars who become engaged citizens, creative innovators, and ethical leaders in the public, private, and non-profit sectors in the United States and internationally. What draws you to a dual-degree program in business and international studies, and how would you use what you learn to contribute to a global issue where business and international affairs intersect? (400-650 words)

The LSM program aims to provide students with a fundamental understanding of the life sciences and their management with an eye to identifying, advancing, and implementing innovations. What issues would you want to address using the understanding gained from such a program? Note that this essay should be distinct from your single degree essay. (400-650 words)

• Explain how you will use the M&T program to explore your interest in business, engineering, and the intersection of the two. (400-650 words)
• Describe a problem that you solved that showed leadership and creativity. (250 words)

Describe your interests in modern networked information systems and technologies, such as the internet, and their impact on society, whether in terms of economics, communication, or the creation of beneficial content for society. Feel free to draw on examples from your own experiences as a user, developer, or student of technology. (400-650 words / 3575 characters**)

Discuss your interest in nursing and health care management. How might Penn's coordinated dual-degree program in nursing and business help you meet your goals? (400-650 words)

How do you envision your participation in the Vagelos Integrated Program in Energy Research (VIPER) furthering your interests in energy science and technology? Please include any past experiences (ex. academic, research, or extracurricular) that have led to your interest in the program. Additionally, please indicate why you are interested in pursuing dual degrees in science and engineering and which VIPER majors are most interesting to you at this time. (400-650 words)

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, upenn essay examples.

I've started to work on my UPenn essays and was wondering if anyone could share some successful examples of UPenn essays they've come across? It would be really helpful to see what works! Thank you!

While I cannot share specific essays out of respect for the authors' privacy, I can provide some general tips and guidance on writing successful UPenn essay responses:

1. Tailor your essay to UPenn: UPenn is looking for students who are not just interested in a prestigious education, but also demonstrate a genuine interest in the university itself. Research specific programs, courses, clubs, and other opportunities that interest you, and incorporate those details into your essay. This will show the admissions committee that you've done your homework and envision yourself as a good fit for UPenn.

2. Highlight your academic interests: UPenn values academic excellence and intellectual curiosity. Make sure to give examples of your intellectual pursuits, including your academic areas of interest, in your essay.

3. Show off your extracurricular involvement: UPenn encourages students to be involved both on and off-campus. Sharing your significant extracurricular experiences, such as leadership positions, community service, or sports achievements, demonstrates your ability to contribute positively to the campus community.

4. Demonstrate a long-term vision: Consider what long-term goals or career aspirations you have and how UPenn can help you achieve them. By showing how the university will support your future ambitions, you're reinforcing the idea that UPenn is the right fit for you.

5. Be authentic and genuine: Avoid overusing cliches or trying too hard to impress the admissions committee. Instead, focus on telling your story in a genuine way that reflects who you are as a person. This will help your essay stand out and make a lasting impression.

6. Revise and edit your essay: A polished essay is crucial for leaving a good impression. Make sure to revise, edit, and proofread your essay for grammar, punctuation, and stylistic errors. Also, consider asking someone else to read your essay and provide feedback, whether it's a teacher, counselor, or family member.

For more information click here: https://blog.collegevine.com/how-to-write-the-upenn-supplemental-essays

Remember, successful UPenn essays are those that showcase your passion for learning, your extracurricular involvement, and your interest specifically in UPenn. By following these tips and staying authentic throughout your essay, you'll be well on your way to crafting a compelling response. Good luck!

About CollegeVine’s Expert FAQ

CollegeVine’s Q&A seeks to offer informed perspectives on commonly asked admissions questions. Every answer is refined and validated by our team of admissions experts to ensure it resonates with trusted knowledge in the field.

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5 Strong UPenn “Thank You” Essay Examples

What’s covered, essay example 1 – the power of the arts, essay example 2 – turning a flaw into a talent, essay example 3 – girl dad, essay example 4 – thank you for the music, essay example 5 – middle school english.

• Where to Get Feedback on your UPenn Essays

Founded in 1740 by Benjamin Franklin, the University of Pennsylvania is one of the eight Ivy League institutions. Its beautiful campus features unique red-and-green-brick buildings, gorgeous tree-lined paths, and lots of tributes to Ben Franklin. In addition to its elite academics, UPenn is also known for its thriving student life–it’s even nicknamed “the social Ivy.” UPenn also enjoys the benefits of being situated in the heart of Philadelphia, just a stone’s throw from myriad museums, gardens, cathedrals, and historic sites, including Independence Hall.

Between its superb academics, vibrant social scene, and prime location, UPenn is one of the most competitive schools in the country. As a result, your essays need to shine, to set you apart from other smart, talented applicants. In this post, we’ll break down five responses to UPenn’s “Thank You” supplemental prompt, which was just added during the 2022-2023 applications cycle. We’ll lay out what each essay did well, and any areas for improvement.

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized.

Read our UPenn essay breakdown to get a comprehensive overview of this year’s supplemental prompts.

UPenn “Thank You” Prompt

The following essays respond to this prompt:

Write a short thank-you note to someone you have not yet thanked and would like to acknowledge. (We encourage you to share this note with that person, if possible, and reflect on the experience!) (150 – 200 words)

Since this prompt is a recent addition to UPenn’s list of supplements, and doesn’t fit neatly into one of the classic supplemental essay boxes (like “Why School?” or “Why Major?” , you may not be quite sure where to start. To help you out, we’ve compiled five responses real students wrote to this prompt. You can read the essays below, and get our breakdowns of each one’s strengths and weaknesses.

Dear Mrs. Peterson,

After finishing my drawing of Timothée Chalamet this semester, I was stunned by its beauty—it was one of the first pieces that I was proud of. Because of the debacle with the charcoal drawing of my sister last year, I avoided drawing another human. Yet, you persisted in encouraging me to tackle this challenge; from achieving Timothée’s chiseled cheekbones to highlighting his curls, you always stood by my side—even when I wanted to quit.

Honing my artistic abilities was only a portion of what you taught me. You always encouraged me to be vulnerable, and I am gratified by our insightful conversations. From consoling me through the stress of finals to supporting my aspirations of becoming a lawyer, you never wavered in listening to my stories. You weren’t just my art teacher, but my shoulder.

I am inspired by how you lead your life with compassion and authenticity. Watching you build a community through dialogue furthered my own love of interaction as an instrument to foster connection. Thank you for being my guidepost. You made a home for me in your class, and it saddens me that I will be leaving it soon.

Gratefully,

Future Empathetic Lawyer

What the Essay Did Well

A strong hook is an essential part of any essay, to really draw a reader into the story. This writer does an excellent job immediately grabbing our attention by describing a tangible object that represents why they are thankful to their art teacher, which is a far more powerful technique than just saying something general like “You have made me a much better artist.”

The drawing of Timothée Chalamet also serves as an anchor for the traits the writer wants to highlight about themselves, such as risk-taking (taking on the challenge of drawing “his chiseled cheekbones…[and] curls” ) and perseverance ( “you always stood by my side” ). Remember that showing your reader something about yourself, through a tangible example like an art project, makes your points far more convincing than just telling them you are a certain way, as then you’re just leaving them to take your word for it.

The writer also seamlessly transitions from talking about their drawing to talking about how their art teacher has helped them in general, with the line “Honing my artistic abilities was only a portion of what you taught me.” This line provides the perfect jumping-off point for the writer to show us how their teacher has supported them in non-art contexts as well.

Finally, in a big-picture sense, the writer strikes a great balance between highlighting their art teacher’s virtues, and how those virtues have helped them grow and develop their own personality. With this prompt, there’s a risk that you end up talking too much about the person you’re thanking, and not enough about yourself–remember, you’re the one admissions officers are trying to make a decision about! But this writer avoids that pitfall by always connecting the things they admire in their art teacher to qualities they have developed themselves.

What Could Be Improved

There is not much room for improvement in this essay. The author directly connects the values they have learned from their art teacher to tangible experiences, which ensures their essay will stand out even from other essays written about teachers.

The only point in the essay that reads a little strangely is the inclusion of the word “empathetic” in the student’s signature. Although we can read between the lines that they learned empathy from their teacher, that actually isn’t a value they name outright. They do highlight vulnerability, compassion, authenticity, and connection, so to make the end of the essay feel more cohesive, they could either replace “empathetic” with something like “compassionate,” or just make sure they do explicitly include empathy in the body of the essay.

Dear Mr. Gonzalez,

I want to take a moment to thank you for the encouragement and support you have given me throughout my high school career. You have been a great teacher and mentor, and I am lucky to have you in my life.

However, I would especially like to thank you for helping me discover my gifts and turning them into abilities. All my life, I have been told that my love of talking with anyone and everyone was an annoyance at best and a flaw at worst. You decided to turn this “flaw” into one of my greatest joys. You taught me how to meticulously craft words and introduced me to rhetoric. Before, I never noticed how perfectly my skill for speaking and writing played into my other skills and talents.

You helped me learn that I grow best when thrust into high-pressure situations. The speeches and the competitions you signed me up for made me incredibly nervous but also incredibly proud.

You taught me that anything you love can be used to bring you happiness, and, more importantly, to help others.

Much appreciative,

This student uses this letter to say a touching, genuine thank you to a teacher who has helped them “turn [a] ‘flaw’ into one of [their] greatest joys.” Rather than highlighting a more generic trait like work ethic, the writer chooses a core value that shows they are able to deeply reflect on how they became the person they are, and how this teacher helped them with that development.

The writer’s impressive ability for introspection is also shown by their description of how their loquaciousness has always been a part of them (which we understand from the line “All my life” ), but their teacher was the first person to help that quality blossom. Rather than framing the essay around a quality that someone else taught them directly, they show that they understand growth can happen in a variety of ways, which in turn shows that they are a mature, emotionally intelligent person.

The author begins their essay very generically, by thanking their teacher for “encouragement and support” and saying that he is a “great teacher and mentor.” Remember, the point of any college essay is to help distinguish yourself from other applicants, and these lines could have been plucked from just about anybody’s “Thank You” essay.

Especially given the low word count, the student should use each sentence purposefully, rather than wasting space on general pleasantries. They would be better off starting the letter with the line “I would like to thank you for helping me discover my gifts and turning them into abilities.” As noted above, this personal, specific reason they are grateful to their teacher is really the heart of the essay, and thus should be given as much attention as possible.

Along the same lines, cutting the general introductions at the beginning would also give the writer more space to explain how their teacher helped them become more confident in their gifts. Rather than just saying that he “taught [them] how to meticulously craft words and introduced [them] to rhetoric,” the writer should provide us with an anecdote that shows what their teacher did specifically to improve their speaking and writing skills. This might look something like:

“I will never forget breaking down some of history’s most famous speeches with you, from the Gettysburg Address to ‘I Have a Dream,’ and slowly starting to understand how I could use these great orators’ techniques myself.”

Likewise, in the third paragraph, the student should provide context for how they reacted to high-pressure situations before their teacher started signing them up for speeches and competitions. They could include something along the lines of “In the past, I always shied away from the spotlight and never felt confident enough to pursue my passion for public speaking, but your faith in my talents pushed me to break past my mental boundaries.” By telling us what the student was like before meeting Mr. Gonzalez, this line emphasizes the importance of the lesson they learned from him.

Finally, in the last sentence of the letter, the student says that their teacher has taught them “to help others.” However, the essay never discussed helping others, so this lesson comes out of nowhere. Especially in the conclusion, you want to be sure that the points you make are supported by the rest of the essay. In the case of this student, that means they would be better off just sticking with the line “You taught me that anything you love can be used to bring you happiness,” as that is a quality they have discussed in detail.

I’ll always remember the times you corrected our Arabic-speaking friends when they greeted you with Abu Jack [Jack’s father] instead of Abu Julia [Julia’s father], proudly breaking the patriarchal tradition of referring to parents by the name of their eldest son, even when their first child is a daughter. Despite our disagreements on everything from economics to foreign policy, your simultaneous open-mindedness and commitment to your values remind me to appreciate intellectual plurality grounded in respect.

Thank you for motivating me to constantly learn more with your encyclopedia-like knowledge of the world. For inspiring me to see beauty in language, history, literature, and science. For strengthening my empathy through every late-night dinner debate. For spending hours discussing each book we share, from Sapiens to Sophie’s World.

Please never stop asking me for advice on your poetry to gauge whether your metaphors translate to English. Never lose the softness in your heart that makes you cry while we watch Coco for the third time because it reminds you of your family. Keep reminding me to “demand evidence and think critically,” even though I tease you for buying a sweatshirt plastered with the phrase.

Your mini-you

Although many other applicants are likely to write letters to parents or other family members, this writer ensures her essay will still stand out by structuring her essay around stories and anecdotes that are personal to her relationship with her dad. Her father’s rejection of a “patriarchal tradition,” two specific examples of books they have read together, and her description of one of his favorite sweatshirts all show what makes their connection different from any other between a father and daughter.

More broadly, these personal anecdotes help readers understand this writer’s background as a whole, not just her relationship with her dad. The essays are admissions officers’ number one resource for understanding how you’ll fit into their campus community as a person, not just a student, and this essay gives us a clear sense of the intellect and compassion this writer would contribute to late night conversations with her roommate, interactions with the dining hall staff, and all the other “little moments” that truly define a college experience.

Unfortunately, this essay falls into the trap outlined in our breakdown of Essay Example 1: we learn more about the author’s dad than we do about her. We know he breaks patriarchal tradition, has encyclopedia-like knowledge, loves poetry, and gets emotional when watching the movie Coco, but we don’t learn anything concrete about this student’s values, only that she admires these qualities in him.

To improve this, the author can reframe some of her ideas to be more focused on herself. For example, take the paragraph:

“Thank you for motivating me to constantly learn more with your encyclopedia-like knowledge of the world. For inspiring me to see beauty in language, history, literature, and science. For strengthening my empathy through every late-night dinner debate. For spending hours discussing each book we share, from Sapiens to Sophie’s World.”

Instead of spending most of the space highlighting her father’s virtues, she should rephrase this paragraph to be grounded in actions she has taken as a result of feeling inspired by her father. This could look something like:

“Your encyclopedia-like knowledge of the world has motivated me to linger by paintings in museums for a few seconds longer, to make sure I fully grasp the artist’s intentions, give Moby Dick a second chance even though I couldn’t get past the third chapter on my first attempt, and start self-studying Italian.”

As you can see, fleshing out her ideas in this way will take up space, and right now the essay covers too much ground for her to do this for each point she makes: she touches on Arabic culture, disagreements they have had, films and books they’ve enjoyed together, and general values she has learned from her father like empathy.

Narrowing her focus will give her the space she needs to make the essay more personal, and also communicate in a more cohesive way what her dad has taught her, as right now readers might leave feeling confused about what the most important lesson she has learned from him is. Choosing just one or two things to focus on will make the essay feel more unified.

Dear Mrs. Charles,

Entering your classroom, it was the lively music that drew me in, yet it would be your energetic voice that would hook me into the countless lessons about history for the next nine months. There was no dull moment, only excitement and the curiosity to learn more. You have instilled beyond knowledge, but more importantly, the inquisitive admiration for education and especially America, an impression so deeply indented in an immigrant like me. You looked out for me even when I was too insecure about my residential status to ask for help. With my first ever letter of recommendation, you have since advocated for my academic career. Amidst overwhelming college applications, I sobbed reading your note, “Good Luck My Perfect young woman – You deserve the world!” You continuously believe in my potential, and that faith has emboldened me to be the resilient woman I am today. Thank you, Mrs. Charles, for encouraging me when things seemed impossible, mentoring me when I was lost, and strengthening my confidence when no one was there. It has been an honor to be your student, and I cannot wish for any other teachers to have changed my life this way.

This student’s genuine gratitude towards her teacher comes across in her strong personal voice, which is reflected in engaging lines like “there was no dull moment” and “the inquisitive admiration for education and especially America, an impression so deeply indented in an immigrant like me.” We can tell that the student’s appreciation for her teacher comes from moments that were truly formative for her, and that authenticity wins us over by pulling at our heartstrings with strong word choices and phrasings.

Although this essay does a great job of expressing the emotional depth of this student’s relationship with her teacher, it lacks the specific details to evidence how this relationship has grown over time. For example, the student writes:

“You have instilled beyond knowledge, but more importantly, the inquisitive admiration for education and especially America, an impression so deeply indented in an immigrant like me. You looked out for me even when I was too insecure about my residential status to ask for help.”

While these lines are compelling, and speak to how the teacher looks out for the writer as an individual, not just a student, we don’t get any details about how she “instilled beyond knowledge” or “looked out for” the student. An anecdote that provides some of those details would give us a clearer sense of why this relationship is so meaningful to this student. That might look something like:

“You went out of your way to meet with me every week as I prepared for my mock debate on the pros and cons of the American public education system, a system that, as an immigrant, I had always admired. I had been too nervous about my residential status to ask you for help understanding the points my peers knew instinctively, and so it meant the world to me when you asked me to join you for a snack at your desk after class one day. This discrete support made me feel simultaneously looked out for and empowered.”

Finally, this essay would look better on the page if it were split into two or even three paragraphs. A huge block of text on the page can be daunting, and you don’t want to turn off your readers before they even start. Plus, breaking up your ideas into smaller paragraphs can also make your essay easier to understand, as your reader can focus on one point at a time, rather than trying to keep everything in mind simultaneously as they’re reading.

Also on a structural level, the writer should have a signature of some kind. If you were writing a note to someone in a non-college essay context, you wouldn’t leave it unsigned. So, while it’s a small detail, to be true to what the prompt is asking, this student should include a signature.

Dear Mrs. King,

Even though it has been five years since I’ve stepped into your English classroom at Harrison Middle, I remember the sound of your enthusiastic voice and genuine smile like it was yesterday.

Your energy was contagious and your quick wittedness unmatched. The way you effortlessly enthralled the entire class with your love for writing is something I will never forget. When you organized a classwide debate based on our argumentative essay topics, you captivated everyone to the point where enthusiastic shouts bounced off the walls of the room.

You made us feel warm and comfortable. As a rigorous teacher and thinker, your lessons impacted me in and out of the classroom. The door to your classroom was always open if I needed advice, helping me navigate everything from friendships to high school applications. In your presence, I felt like a friend instead of a student, because that was just your comforting nature. Thank you for the moments with you in middle school that will stay with me for a lifetime.

Warm regards,

This essay’s greatest strength is the author’s use of vibrant, playful language, which helps readers vicariously feel Mrs. King’s enthusiasm and energy. For example, the “enthusiastic shouts bouncing off walls” and feeling “like a friend instead of a student, because that was just your comforting nature” drop us right into Mrs. King’s classroom, and allow us to vicariously understand why this student respects her so much.

This essay’s biggest issue is that most of the writer’s points are very generic, and could have been written by anyone, about any teacher. The point of this prompt is to highlight certain aspects of your personality by describing values you have learned from someone else, but the details we get about Mrs. King are very surface-level, like the sound of her voice, smile, and love for writing. As a result, we don’t learn much about either the teacher’s personality or how she has impacted the writer.

The author should instead include stories that show us specific values and lessons they have learned from this teacher. For example, the line “As a rigorous teacher and thinker, your lessons impacted me in and out of the classroom,” could be about nearly anything. To make this line more informative, the writer needs to get much more specific about what their point is, along the lines of:

“When you took us on a field trip to see a production of Hamlet which had recast Ophelia as a man, you challenged me to reconsider how societal standards, which I like to think I’m able to transcend, unavoidably impact my interpretation of literature.”

This version both identifies a particular aspect of the writer’s personality (their ability to push back on preconceived ideas) and something specific Mrs. King did to help them develop that aspect. As a result, admissions officers now get what they really care about: information about who this student is, and how they would fit in at their school.

Where to Get Feedback on Your Essay

Want feedback on your UPenn “Thank You” essay before you submit? That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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