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Cohabiting Senior Couples: Financial and Moral Considerations

Is it wrong for seniors to live together for financial reasons? My elderly father recently moved in with a woman he's been dating for several months. When I objected, he told me that they had discussed marriage many times but ultimately rejected the idea for financial reasons. According to my dad, it's a matter of protecting their individual assets and preserving each partner's Social Security benefits. He says they would actually lose a sizable portion of their monthly income if they were to get married. Now he's talking about having a "commitment ceremony" at church as an alternative to legal marriage. What's your take on this? Does the Bible have anything to say about a couple being married in the eyes of the church but not according to the laws of the state?

Let’s begin with a bit of background. What is God’s definition of marriage? According to Scripture, it’s a one-flesh, whole-life union between one man and one woman. It’s a union that covers every aspect of human existence: the physical, the sexual, the mental, the emotional, the moral, the spiritual, and the economic. This definition is summed up in Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

The act of “leaving and cleaving” involves a couple’s public commitment to build a strong and lasting relationship. This means that marriage, from a theological perspective, is anything but a purely private affair. There is a distinctly communal aspect to the institution of matrimony, because marriage has profound implications for society at large.

Different cultures have different ways of solemnizing this public commitment. In Bible times, this was almost exclusively the domain of the family. In 21st century America it also involves the state and, for serious believers, the church.

It’s worth mentioning here that while the spiritual aspect of marriage is of crucial importance for Christians, this does not mean that matrimony is valid only for believers. Marriage should not be viewed only as an ordinance of the church. Marriage is like the sunshine and the rain that fall upon “the just and the unjust alike” (Matthew 5:45). According to most theologians, it’s part of the “common grace” that God has poured out on mankind for the good of the race as a whole.

This explains why even pagan and secular societies have traditionally sought to preserve the uniqueness of the marital relationship by surrounding it with certain legal sanctions, privileges, and protections. Human societies of every kind have always had a vested interest in supporting, maintaining, and regulating the marital relationship. This is true of the state in all of its various forms: monarchies, oligarchies, dictatorships, socialist collectives, and democracies. Romans 13:1-7 implies that this is according to God’s design. For all these reasons, we’d suggest that, unless it should for some reason become absolutely impossible to do so, believers should continue to marry in accord with the regulations and requirements of the state .

That brings us to your father’s situation. As we see it, if the biblical and theological principles outlined above apply to anyone at all, they have to apply equally to couples of all ages and all economic circumstances. Scripturally speaking, there are no valid grounds for distinguishing between young and old or rich and poor in this regard. Senior citizens aren’t the only ones who face financial challenges. They aren’t the only ones who can list a number of practical reasons for believing that, in their particular case , cohabitation is the better option. If they can be excused from making a public and legal commitment to one another for budgetary reasons, twenty-somethings should be granted the same privilege.

Bottom line: if a man and a woman at any stage of life really love one another enough to become “one flesh” in the eyes of God, they should be willing to proclaim their mutual commitment to the world. They should do this in the presence of the governing authorities and society as a whole by entering into legal matrimony. It doesn’t matter what this commitment may cost them in terms of money or material comforts. In the end, it comes down to a simple question of doing the right thing.

If you (or your dad) would like to discuss this question at greater length, call our staff of pastoral counselors for a free consultation .

Resources If a title is currently unavailable through Focus on the Family, we encourage you to use another retailer.

Before You Live Together: Will Living Together Bring You Closer or Drive You Apart?

Sacred Marriage: What if God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy

Living Together

Articles Preparing for Marriage

The Problem With Living Together

What’s the Deal with Cohabitation? A Survey of This Decade’s Leading Research

Copyright © 2011, Focus on the Family.

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What You Should Know About Living Together if You’re Over 50 | Trumbull Estate Planning Attorney

• By Steven L. Rubin
• Posted January 26, 2020

Between 2007 and 2016, the number of unmarried couples over the age of 50 who were living together increased by 75% according to the Census Bureau. There are several factors contributing to the rise in romantic roommates. A change in social attitudes towards cohabitation has lifted much of the pressure on older couples to remarry before moving in together. The cost of living makes it harder to keep up two households. And some people may want the companionship of living with a partner without the legal commitment of marriage, especially if their previous marriage ended in divorce.

Living together without being married, however, has its fair share of legal issues. Laws related to estate planning haven’t caught up with the cohabitation trend which means that most of them are still geared towards married couples. Although unmarried couples of any age are at risk of facing unexpected legal issues if anything happens to either of them, couples over the age of 50 are more likely to find themselves in a complicated legal situation.

Consider the story of Frank and Donna, a couple in their late 50s who started living together after two years of dating. Donna became a widow in her late 40s after losing her husband to cancer. Around that same time, Frank and his first wife had gone through a divorce shortly after their youngest child moved out of their home. Neither Frank nor Donna had any desire to remarry despite how much they enjoyed each other’s company or how committed they were to their relationship. It also made financial sense for Frank to move out of the home he’d been renting since his divorce and into the home that Donna had owned with her late husband.

About a year after the couple began living together, Frank was seriously injured in an accident at work. Even though Frank’s employer was able to call Donna and let her know what had happened, Donna was unable to get any information from the hospital about his condition. Because she was not his spouse and he had not prepared an Advance Healthcare Directive, Donna had no legal right to obtain any information or make any medical decisions on Frank’s behalf. Their living situation had absolutely no bearing on their legal rights. However, if Frank and Donna had decided to get married, their marital status would have afforded each of them those rights simply based on the fact that they were officially husband and wife.

Another unmarried couple found themselves in a financial, rather than medical, crisis as a result of their marital status. Martin, a man in his mid-60s, had been living with his partner, Lisa, for just a few months when he suffered a series of strokes that left him temporarily incapacitated. Because Martin had a substantial income from a job that required a lot of traveling, Lisa had left her job so that she could accompany him on his business trips. Unfortunately, the money that the couple used to cover their living expenses came from Martin’s accounts. With their busy lifestyle, he simply hadn’t taken the time to add her name as a joint owner of the accounts or set up any type of estate planning documents that would have granted Lisa access to his finances for any reason.

So, is getting hitched the only way a couple over the age of 50 can ensure that they have the right to make medical decisions or access financial accounts if either of them is incapacitated? Of course not. In both of these situations, the couples could have taken the proper steps to ensure that they would have many of the same rights as married couples. The only difference is that married couples are granted these rights automatically by the law while unmarried couples have to prepare and sign some basic estate planning documents.

The two most important legal issues that need to be addressed for unmarried couples who are living together are financial and medical. Most of this can be covered with three important documents: a durable power of attorney, an Advance Healthcare Directive, and a living will. A durable power of attorney can ensure that your partner can manage your finances if you’re unable to, while an Advance Healthcare Directive allows them to manage your medical care if necessary. A living will can help make sure that your wishes regarding any end-of-life decisions are carried out. You may also want to consider additional documents such as HIPAA releases which allow medical providers to release information to designated persons.

A Trumbull estate planning attorney can further advise you on which documents you’ll need in order to give your live-in partner the same rights as a spouse. One key document in this regard is a living trust. Regardless of how much involvement you want your partner to have in your healthcare and financial decisions, it’s important to be honest with him or her as well as the attorney you hire to handle your estate plan.

If you have questions about legal protections for cohabiting couples, or if you’d like to get started in creating a plan that ensures you and your partner are protected if something happens, simply call our office at (203) 877-7511 to schedule a consultation with a Trumbull estate planning attorney.

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The New Old Age

More Older Couples Are ‘Shacking Up’

By Paula Span

• May 8, 2017

In many ways, the life that Karen Kanter and Stan Tobin share in Philadelphia sounds entirely typical. Both 75, they happily see movies and plays together, visit children and grandchildren, try new restaurants (but avoid sushi).

Mr. Tobin, an accountant who maintains a small tax practice, makes time for a monthly men’s group. A retired middle-school teacher, Ms. Kanter hustles between book and art appreciation groups while volunteering and writing a historical novel.

He supported her through a successful breast cancer treatment years ago. She has been prodding him about putting on pounds, so he has returned to Weight Watchers.

Careful about financial and legal arrangements, they co-own their condo near the Museum of Art and a cottage in upstate New York. She has his power of attorney and health care proxy, and vice versa.

“We love each other and want to be together, and we’ve made the commitment to stay together until death parts us,” Ms. Kanter said.

But although they have been a couple since 2002 and have shared a home since 2004, they are not married. And among older adults, they have a lot of company.

The number of people over 50 who cohabit with an unmarried partner jumped 75 percent from 2007 to 2016 , the Pew Research Center reported last month — the highest increase in any age group.

“It was a striking finding,” said Renee Stepler, a Pew research analyst. “We often think of cohabiters as being young.”

Most still are. But the number of cohabiters over age 50 rose to 4 million from 2.3 million over the decade, Ms. Stepler found, and the number over age 65 doubled to about 900,000.

Demographers are paying attention. At the Population Association of America’s annual meeting in Chicago last month, featuring a session on “repartnering” in later life, the panelist Jonathan Vespa of the Census Bureau pointedly offered a presentation entitled, “A Gray Revolution in Living Arrangements.”

The trend partly reflects the sheer size of the baby boom cohort, as well as its rising divorce rate.

So-called gray divorce has roughly doubled among those 50-plus since the 1990s. Divorce leaves two people available for repartnering, of course; losing a spouseleaves one, and these days it tends to strike at older ages.

But attitudes have shifted, too. “People who’ve divorced have a more expansive view of what relationships are like,” said Deborah Carr, the Rutgers University sociologist who served as chairwoman of the Population Association panel.

“The whole idea of marriage as the ideal starts to fade, and personal happiness becomes more important.”

Of course, the boomers pretty much invented widespread premarital cohabitation while in their 20s and 30s — or like to think they did.

“It used to be called shacking up, and it was not approved of,” said Kelly Raley, a sociologist at the University of Texas, Austin, and former editor of The Journal of Marriage and Family. Families and religious groups often condemned living together outside marriage.

But Americans are far more accepting now, she said, and the people turning 60 “are very different from the people who were 60 twenty years ago.”

Karen Kanter, for instance, had divorced twice after long marriages — 38 years, in total — when she met Mr. Tobin on Match.com. “Getting divorced gives you so much to untangle,” she said.

“Our life is good together, so why disturb it? I just don’t see the importance of that piece of paper.”

Mr. Tobin, also divorced after a long marriage, wouldn’t mind marrying his partner — he actually proposed on bended knee once, though he knew Ms. Kanter would say no — but he is also fine with cohabiting.

“The relationship is looser,” he said. “We don’t make demands on each other’s time. She has her life, I have my life, and we have our life together.”

For older people, the advantages and drawbacks can stack up differently than at earlier ages, when such relationships tend to be more unstable . Demographers see most youthful cohabitation as a prelude to marriage or simply a short-term arrangement.

In later life, however, cohabitation — like remarriage — brings companionship and wider social circles, not to mention sexual intimacy, at ages when people might otherwise face isolation. Financially, pooling resources in a single household often improves elders’ economic stability, especially for women, who are at higher risk for poverty .

It also offers certain economic protections. Older adults have more debt than previous generations, Dr. Carr pointed out, including mortgages and children’s college loans. “You become responsible for your legal spouse’s debt, but not for your cohabiting partner’s debt,” she said.

Marrying or remarrying can also affect government and pension benefits.

Consider Jane Carney and Norm Stoner, who live in Oklahoma City and were both widowed. For years, even after he moved into her house in 2004, they debated whether to make their union legal.

“The list of pros was very short, and the list of cons was very long,” said Ms. Carney, 69. Among the latter: Each was receiving Social Security survivors benefits, checks that would have stopped had they remarried. Nor will one partner’s assets prevent the other from qualifying for Medicaid.

Other factors become harder to quantify. Couples monitor one another’s health, so cohabiters fare better, physically and mentally, than those who live alone, Dr. Carr said.

But relationships with adult children sometimes suffer. Matthew Wright, a doctoral candidate in sociology at Bowling Green State University, reported at the Population Association meeting that cohabiters had less frequent contact with their children, and less positive relationships, than continuously married or widowed parents.

Cohabiters didn’t differ from remarried or divorced parents, however, suggesting that marital dissolution itself, rather than the legal status of parents’ new partnerships, creates those tensions.

What about caregiving, then? Spouses explicitly vow to care for one another; in fact, reluctance to assume that burden can dissuade older women, especially widows, from marrying.

Older cohabiters, one large national study has found, are less likely to provide care than spouses — though when cohabiters do shoulder caregiving, they devote as much time to it as married people do .

“Maybe they’ll rely more on the children,” Dr. Carr speculated. If divorce has chilled that relationship, though, children may be less willing to step in.

What happens when cohabiters reach advanced ages and ill health remains something of an open question — but one that couples should consider.

Documenting end-of-life wishes, designating health care decision-makers and writing wills is even more important than for married couples. Otherwise, state laws could thwart a cohabiter’s preferences.

In many ways, cohabitation among older people remains improvisational, only recently a common phenomenon, one that couples shape to suit them. “There are no strongly established rules,” Dr. Raley said. “You can invent them as you go along.”

Or you can follow a marital pattern without the letter of the law.

In the end, Ms. Carney and Mr. Stoner, now 74, never married. But when he developed liver disease and vascular dementia, she cared for him as if they had. And when she could no longer keep him safely in their home, she and his children agreed on a continuing care retirement community, where she visits him almost daily.

Married or not, “we were committed to each other,” she said. “I can’t imagine his getting sick and my saying to his kids, ‘It’s your problem.’ After 20 years? No.”

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A Guide to Aging Well

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The “car key conversation,” when it’s time for an aging driver to hit the brakes, can be painful for families to navigate . Experts say there are ways to have it with empathy and care.

Calorie restriction and intermittent fasting both increase longevity in animals, aging experts say. Here’s what that means for you .

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​Case Study Two: Two Unmarried Seniors Living Together

Business Finance , Southern New Hampshire University

Question Description

Case Study Two: Two Unmarried Seniors Living Together

In a two-page paper, respond to the following case study with arguments for and arguments against this arrangement.

Using A-R-E (Assertion-Reasoning-Evidence) will help you to produce your work.

Short paper assignments must include a cover page and reference page, double spacing, 12‐point Times New Roman font, one‐inch margins, and discipline‐appropriate citations. Short papers should be two to three pages in length (not including cover page and reference page).

I attached a sample of the paper, so it needs to be something similar, but not plagiarised.

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Cohabiting Seniors

Reasons Senior Couples Say No to Marriage

• Relationships
• University of Nevada, Las Vegas

The U.S. Census Bureau has reported that from 1990 to 1999, the percentage of unmarried senior couples 65 and older rose significantly. Forbes reports "In 2006, 1.8 million Americans aged 50 and above lived in heterosexual "unmarried-partner households," a 50% increase from 2000, figures Bowling Green State University demographer Susan Brown."

These are senior couples who at one time believed in marriage. These are senior couples who are facing the disapproval of their children and religious faith.

It is expected that this percentage rate will continue to rise. So why are senior couples cohabiting? For many senior citizens, marriage simply is not financially practical.

Here are some of the reasons senior couples are choosing living together rather than marriage.

Financial Reasons Seniors Cohabit

"In general, you cannot receive survivors benefits if you remarry before the age of 60 unless the latter marriage ends, whether by death, divorce, or annulment. If you remarry after age 60 (50 if disabled), you can still collect benefits on your former spouse's record. When you reach age 62 or older, you may get retirement benefits on the record of your new spouse if they are higher." Source: Social Security Administration

• Tax disincentives.
• Loss of military and pension benefits.
• Fear of incurring liability for partner's medical expenses.
• Credit rating protection.
• Separation of current debt.
• Ability to share expenses.
• Health insurance.
• Asset protection.
• Social Security benefits. There seems to be much confusion on this topic. Depending on your age, you may not lose Social Security benefits if you remarry.

Personal Reasons Seniors Cohabit

• Anti-marriage attitude from previous unhappy marital experience.
• Lack of concern about what others think.
• Love and friendship.
• Children's inheritance concerns.

More Resources

• Tips for Cohabiting Seniors

Books on Money Management for Cohabiting Couples

Legal agreements for cohabiting couples.

Here are some tips for seniors who are living together.

• Update your wills.
• Assure your children and grandchildren that their inheritance will not be compromised by your new relationship.
• Do not combine your assets. Keep your bank accounts, brokerage accounts, etc., separate.
• Consider maintaining two separate households from both practical and legal perspectives.
• You should both consider long-term care insurance.
• Make sure your estate planning is up to date and that the interests of your children and grandchildren are protected.
• Put your health care wishes in writing and discuss them with your children.
• Sign a cohabitation agreement.
• Reasons Older Couples are Saying No to Marriage
• "Money Without Matrimony: The Unmarried Couple's Guide to Financial Security" by Sheryl Garrett and Debra A. Neiman
• "Living Together: A Legal Guide for Unmarried Couples"
• by Toni Lynne Ihara, Ralph E. Warner, and Frederick Hertz
• "Unmarried to Each Other: The Essential Guide to Living Together as an Unmarried Couple" by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller
• "Living Together: Unmarrieds and the Law by Irving J. Sloan 
• "Living Together As Partners: The Alternative Marriage Guide by Matthew Janes

Here are legal agreements for cohabiting couples.

• Cohabitation Agreement
• Prenuptial and Cohabitation Agreements
• Create a Living Will
• Notice of Death-with-Dignity Request
• Will Form for Non-Married Individual with Children without Trust for Children
• Will Form for Non-Married Individual with Children with Trust for Children
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Population Dynamics Research Centers Population Dynamics Research Centers

Cohabiting Couples in the United States Are Staying Together Longer but Fewer Are Marrying

November 2020

More unmarried couples today are living together, and doing so for longer than in the past, but fewer of these relationships lead to marriage, new research finds. This change may in part reflect shifting attitudes toward cohabitation, and it results in more separations and re-partnering during young adulthood.

Most young women today will live with a romantic partner at least once, compared with just one-third of young women in the late 1980s. 1 During that decade, most cohabiting relationships were short-lived and frequently led to marriage.

The new research, conducted by graduate students and faculty at the Center for Family and Demographic Research at Bowling Green State University, examined how cohabitation and marriage patterns have changed for young women over the past four decades. Their research was supported by the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD).

In their study, Esther Lamidi, now at the University of Colorado Colorado Springs, and colleagues Wendy Manning and Susan Brown at Bowling Green, drew on data from the National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG) to compare women ages 15 to 39 who lived with a first romantic partner in 1983-1988 and in 2006-2013. 2 They examined changes in whether couples who lived together had married or split up within five years.

They found that while cohabiting relationships are still relatively short-lived, couples today are cohabiting longer—increasing from about 12 months in the 1983-1988 cohabitation cohort to 18 months in the later cohort—and that this longer duration is linked to couples delaying or forgoing marriage altogether. After five years, similar shares of women in both cohorts were still living with their partner, but the distribution of those still cohabiting as compared to those who had married had shifted. Among the early cohort, 23% of women were still cohabiting five years later, and 42% had married their partner. These shares were reversed among the later cohort—43% were still cohabiting and only 22% had married.

Women With Less Education Experience More Changes in Cohabitation

Over the past five decades, changes in family behaviors such as declining rates of marriage have been more pronounced among women with less education compared with women who have more education. Lamidi and her colleagues confirmed this divergence—similar to what’s been observed in other family behaviors and frequently termed “diverging destinies”—when they examined patterns of cohabitation across different sociodemographic groups.

Their analysis found that the more recent cohort was much less likely to marry their cohabiting partner, and while this pattern was observed across all sociodemographic groups, it occurred more frequently among women with less education.

After accounting for women’s educational attainment, their results show that between the two cohorts only women with less than a college education experienced a decline in marrying their cohabiting partner. In addition, women having one or more children while cohabiting—an occurrence more common among women with less education—delayed or inhibited marriage more for the later cohort than the earlier cohort, they found.

Cohabitation Changes Reveal a Widening Social Class Divide

Sociodemographic characteristics are associated with the pathways out of cohabitation—break ups or marriages—and changes among the cohabiting population’s characteristics can be reflected in changes in cohabitation outcomes. Yet while the researchers noted that the cohabiting population grew in size, became more racially and ethnically diverse and more highly educated, and had more births while living together, they found these compositional changes had little impact on the changes in cohabitation outcomes across the two cohorts.

What does this finding mean? The researchers conclude that the limited impact of population composition changes on cohabitation outcomes, combined with the decline in marrying a cohabiting partner among women with less education, suggests that the social class divide in the American family appears to be widening.

Their findings also “diminish the traditional view of cohabitation as a prelude to marriage” for women with less education and show, particularly for this population, that “cohabitation is increasingly serving a role similar to that of traditional marriage in offering a viable context for childbearing and child-rearing.”

Young Women Today Are Increasingly Likely to Experience a Breakup

Although cohabiting relationships may be lasting longer, they remain relatively unstable. Kasey Eickmeyer, now at the Center for Policing Equity, reports, “Millennials experienced more relationship instability during young adulthood than earlier birth cohorts of women.” She found that cohabitation experience accounted for this instability.

Eickmeyer asked whether young women see their intimate live-in relationships (either marriage or cohabitation) end more frequently today than earlier generations. 3 She analyzed data from multiple cycles of the NSFG to examine women’s experience of ending marriages and cohabiting relationships when they were ages 18 to 25 across several five-year birth cohorts from 1960 to 1985.

She found that among women who had ever married or cohabited, the share breaking up with a live-in partner increased from 31% among women born between 1960 and 1964 to 44% among women born in 1985 to 1989.

Cohabitation explains this increasing likelihood of experiencing a breakup. Compared to women in the 1985-1989 birth cohort, women in the earlier birth cohorts from 1960-1964 through 1975-1979 were significantly less likely to have one or more live-in partnerships end. Once Eickmeyer accounted for women’s cohabitation experience, she found that young women’s increased likelihood of having an intimate partnership end is because union formation during young adulthood shifted from marriage—a relatively stable union—to cohabitation, a relatively unstable union.

More Breakups and Re-Partnering in Young Adulthood Suggest Changing Attitudes About Cohabitation

As more young women enter into and end cohabiting relationships, they have more opportunities to live with multiple partners in a pattern of serial cohabitation. The growing practice of serial cohabitation reflects in part changing attitudes about couples living together without marriage.

Eickmeyer and Wendy Manning wanted to know whether contemporary young adult women who had ever cohabited are more likely to re-partner than prior cohorts of young women. 4 Using data from the 2002 and 2006-2013 NSFG, they compared the cohabitation experience of young women ages 16 to 28 across five-year birth cohorts beginning in 1960 through 1980 to examine trends in serial cohabitation.

They found that early Millennial women (born 1980-1984) were 53% more likely to live with more than one romantic partner during young adulthood compared with the late Baby Boomers (born 1960-1964), even after taking into account sociodemographic characteristics such as race and ethnicity and educational level, and relationship characteristics such as their age when their first cohabiting relationship ended and whether they had children.

Not only were early Millennial women more likely to live with more than one partner without marriage, they also formed subsequent cohabiting relationships more quickly than the late Baby Boomers—dropping from nearly four years between live-in relationships to just over two years.

The characteristics most strongly associated with serial cohabitation—such as identifying as non-Hispanic white, having less than a college education, and growing up with a single parent—remained stable across birth cohorts, Eickmeyer and Manning found. And, much like the cohabiting population, the composition of women who had previously lived with a partner changed across cohorts, but this shift does not explain the increase in serial cohabitation.

The researchers conclude that the increase stems from more young adults cohabiting, the continued instability of cohabiting relationships, the increasing length of time between first cohabitation and first marriage, and the growing acceptance of cohabitation during young adulthood.

Their findings highlight the instability in many contemporary young adults’ lives and the increasing role cohabitation plays in relationship churning. Although multiple live-in romantic relationships could have negative consequences for young adults’ well-being (and any children they may have), Eickmeyer and Manning suggest “that young adult relationships may be evolving, and young women may be learning to end coresidential relationships that are not working.”

This article was produced under a grant from the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD). The work of researchers from the NICHD-funded population dynamics research center at Bowling Green State University (P2CHD050959) was highlighted in this article.

• Alicia VanOrman is a senior research associate at PRB. More by Alicia VanOrman »
• Paul Hemez and Wendy D. Manning, Twenty-Five Years of Change in Cohabitation in the U.S., 1987-2013 , National Center for Family and Marriage Research Family Profiles, No. FP-17-02 (2017), http://www.bgsu.edu/ncfmr/resources/data/family-profiles/hemez-manning-25-years-change-cohabitation-fp-17-02.html
• Esther O. Lamidi, Wendy D. Manning, and Susan L. Brown, “Change in the Stability of First Premarital Cohabitation Among Women in the United States, 1983-2013,” Demography , 56 (2019): 427-50.
• Kasey J. Eickmeyer, “Cohort Trends in Union Dissolution During Young Adulthood,” Journal of Marriage and Family 81 (2019): 760-70.
• Kasey J. Eickmeyer and Wendy D. Manning, “Serial Cohabitation in Young Adulthood: Baby Boomers to Millennials,” Journal of Marriage and Family 80 (2018): 826-40.

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case study two two unmarried seniors living together 1

Case Study Two: Two Unmarried Seniors Living Together

In a two-page paper, respond to the following case study with arguments for and arguments against this arrangement.

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Short paper assignments must include a cover page and reference page, double spacing, 12‐point Times New Roman font, one‐inch margins, and discipline‐appropriate citations. Short papers should be two to three pages in length (not including cover page and reference page).

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Smart Dating Over 60

Mature dating advice to find true love after 60, from a senior woman and man's perspective.

October 23, 2023 By Daisy

Living Together or Marriage for Seniors: The Pros and Cons

Things are going so well with your relationship. You’ve found the one you want to grow old with. Your thoughts go to living together or marriage, or first one and then the other.

Living together , whether or not that includes marriage, is a big step, not to be taken lightly.

Maybe you want to take that step, live together for a while, and see if marriage is in the cards.

Or maybe you want to jump right into marriage and then live together.

Either way, marriage or just co-habitation, there are many things to consider and decisions to be made.

In general, those decisions are best made in advance of actually diving in.

What do other seniors feel about co-habitation vs. marriage?

A Pew Research Center study of nearly 10,000 randomly selected U.S. adults found that:

“Married adults are more satisfied with their relationship and more trusting of their partners than those who are cohabiting.”

In particular, the study found that a majority of older adults say society is better off if couples who want to stay together long term eventually get married.

Living together whether or not marriage is in the plans

Cosmo and I have been living together for about 6 years.

Until recently, I had been collecting Social Security benefits on my ex-husband’s record, switching to my own benefit once I turned 70. This required me to remain single until then.

At this point, we have no plans to get married. Our relationship is strong and abiding. In fact, we have a better relationship than most any married couple we know.

Things could change , though, and marriage may make sense for us at some point.

Co-habiting may make a lot of sense for people of any age.

You’ll give yourselves the chance to get to know each other better, let the relationship evolve, and see whether the legal commitment of marriage makes sense for both of you.

These days, there’s certainly little to no stigma to living together, although your children or others close to you may object . So you don’t really need to get married, unless you want to.

If things don’t work out, going your separate ways will be painful and disruptive, but it’s easier than dealing with divorce. If you’ve already gone through a divorce in the past, you know this to be true.

What are other senior couples doing, marriage or living together?

Over the past two decades, co-habitation has been on the rise with older adults:

“Whether they find each other online, at the gym or at church, they are pairing up in unprecedented numbers and in untraditional ways. Remarriage rates over 50 have remained steady, but cohabitation in that age group has more than quadrupled between 2000 and 2020. What’s different about these couples is not just how they partner. Boston University sociologist Deborah Carr has done preliminary analyses of older re-partnered couples and says they are likelier to be more equal financially, more autonomous as individuals and freer of gender roles. The same seems to be true whether they are remarried or cohabiting. Changing social attitudes are also part of the picture. Cohabitation was once stigmatized as “living in sin” or lesser than marriage. Even if some still disapprove, many older adults don’t care. A typical attitude: I’m 60 years old, and I’ll do what I damn please.”

What about common-law marriage?

Don’t assume that you have a common-law marriage if you’ve lived together for a number of years, most typically pegged at 7 years.

That’s only true in these states: Colorado, District of Columbia, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, Texas and Utah.

In those 9 states, here’s how common-law marriage stacks up :

Common-law marriage — sometimes called informal marriage — is a marriage that’s established without legal formalities like taking out a marriage license or having a religious or civil ceremony. The basic features of a common law marriage are:

• two people mean for their relationship to be as a married couple
• they act on that intention by living together and holding themselves out publicly as a married couple
• when they established their marriage relationship, they lived in a state that recognizes common law marriage for all purposes, and
• they meet the basic requirements under state law for a legal common law marriage.

Once a couple meets these criteria for a common-law marriage, their legal status is just like any other marriage. That means they enjoy all the rights and benefits of marriage, including:

• inheritance rights and other estate planning benefits
• Social Security benefits
• tax treatment
• employment benefits, and
• the right to ask the court to divide your property or award alimony when ending the marriage.

But be aware that, for these 9 states:

There’s no such thing as “common law divorce.” If you had a valid common law marriage and then split up, you generally need to get divorced under your state’s laws that apply to ending all marriages, particularly if you want the court to issue orders dividing your property or awarding alimony.

Commonalities between living together and marriage

Some benefits are derived from either scenario.

When you live together, whether or not you’re married, you’re likely to:

• Be less lonely because (obviously) you’re not alone.
• Decrease your living expenses because you’ll share in household costs.
• Share in the burden of household chores.
• Share with parenting or grandparenting.
• Develop a more deeply committed and trusting relationship over time.

Benefits of living together without marriage

It’s no wonder that more and more couples over 65 are choosing cohabitation over marriage.

For the most part, finances are the main reason why older couples aren’t getting married.

Social Security and Pensions. If you are divorced and you remarry before age 60, you’ll lose Social Security income from a previous marriage to which you would have otherwise been entitled.

Estate Planning. If you have college-age children, marriage may mean that your new spouse’s income is counted for financial aid purposes, which could reduce the aid your child is eligible for. And if you want your adult children to inherit the bulk of your estate, you need to put careful estate planning in place.

Alimony. If you were in a long-term marriage that ended in divorce and you’re receiving alimony, you’ll most likely have to give that up when you remarry.

Tax bite. Married couples typically pay higher taxes on Social Security benefits than unmarried partners.

Medical Expenses. When you marry, you take on responsibility for your partner’s support and care. If your new spouse has serious health concerns , you may not want to take on that financial responsibility.

Is a cohabitation contract right for you?

When you live together without marriage, you have no legal rights to each other’s property.

This may not matter as long as you’re together, but if you split up and go your separate ways, you could have big problems.

A cohabitation property agreement could solve those problems.

What is it and how does it work?

Like any other contract, it’s basically an agreement to do (or not do) certain things in return for some benefit — what’s known in legalese as “consideration.” A valid contract must include consideration. Otherwise, it’s essentially a promise to provide a gift — and, as such, courts won’t enforce it.”

Here are some issues that couples typically include in a cohabitation property agreement:

• how they’ll handle ownership of any property either or both of them acquire during their relationship, including property they buy, inherit, or receive as a gift
• their expectations about pooling resources and finances, as well as other contributions to their relationship
• how they’ll handle paying for household expenses, such as food and utilities
• how they’ll handle obligations to each other and a landlord when they share a rented home
• whether they’ll have separate or joint control over their earnings
• if they buy a residence together, what will happen to it if they split up
• what will happen to their other property if they separate or either dies
• how they’ll allocate responsibility for any joint debts after a breakup, and
• whether one partner will pay some kind of support to the other after their relationship ends.

There are a few states where cohabitation agreements aren’t legal, so check to be sure you’re in a state that does.

Legal issues of living together without marriage

If you’re living together without being married (common-law or otherwise), here are some downsides you may not have considered.

Unless you’ve done the appropriate advance planning and have all necessary paperwork in place, these things could happen:

🚩 Your partner is hospitalized and unable to make healthcare decisions, and they don’t have a healthcare power of attorney. Hospitals consider your partner to be a “legal stranger” and you won’t be able to make medical decisions for her or him.

🚩 Your partner becomes incapacitated without proper estate planning and financial power of attorney. Their assets will likely be frozen by their financial institutions and you won’t have access to them.

🚩 Your partner has a terminal illness and is near the end of life. Without a living will, you won’t be able to make critical life and death decisions for them.

🚩 Your partner dies without a will or naming you in their will or living trust. You won’t be legally entitled to inherit any of their assets. They will instead go to your partner’s blood relatives, typically their children or siblings.

🚩 Your partner dies and you’re living in their home. If you’re not on the deed or they haven’t specified in their will that you have the right to occupy the home for life, you may have to move, and quickly.

By the way, those legal documents don’t cover every scenario.

For instance, I recently learned that Social Security doesn’t recognize the directives in any of the documents noted above when an unmarried partner needs to step in and control their incapacitated partner’s benefits.

The fix is simple. You’ll each need to let Social Security know (either via your online account or by phone) that your partner has authority in these matters.

Marriage for seniors: The pros and cons

Marriage (at any age) brings up issues like whether or not to get a prenup and whether to take your spouse’s last name.

Marriage for seniors comes with its own set of special circumstances.

You should consult with your attorney, accountant and/or tax specialist to look more closely at your own situation, but here are some things to consider.

The good things about getting married for seniors

There may be many emotional reasons why seniors want to get married.

For one thing, studies show that married people are happier than single people.

W. Bradford Wilcox , Director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, noted:

“Marital quality is, far and away, the top predictor I have run across of life satisfaction in America. Specifically, the odds that men and women say they are ‘very happy’ with their lives are a staggering 545 percent higher for those who are very happily married, compared to peers who are not married or who are less than very happy in their marriages. When it comes to predicting overall happiness, a good marriage is far more important than how much education you get, how much money you make, how often you have sex, and, yes, even how satisfied you are with your work.”

Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote,

“Marriage responds to the universal fear that a lonely person might call out only to find no one there. It offers the hope of companionship and understanding and assurance that while both still live there will be someone to care for the other. This notion — that marriage is the best answer to the deep human desire for connection and belonging — is incredibly seductive.”

I believe that both statements above also apply to a committed, live-in relationship.

Financial benefits of being married

Emotional reasons aside, here are some financial benefits to getting married :

Estate taxes. A married person can generally leave an unlimited amount of money to their spouse without paying any estate tax. In addition, the surviving spouse can use any unused portion of the deceased spouse’s lifetime estate tax exclusion upon his or her death.

Insurance. When you and your new spouse combine households, you will often combine insurance plans, one of the main benefits of marrying later in life. From auto to homeowners insurance, you may be able to get a more favorable rate when you get married older. 

Social Security benefits. You’re each eligible to collect your own Social Security benefit or up to 50 percent of your spouse’s benefit, whichever is greater.

Some not-so-good things about getting married for seniors

Once you get married, you take on your spouse’s medical debts. If they end up in a nursing home, that could take a big chunk out of your assets. Medicare alone doesn’t cover most of this expense.

The wedding itself comes with cost and stress factors. Even the simplest of weddings can be highly stressful, and some can be quite expensive.

And then there’s the way other debt is handled :

If you co-sign a debt — or open a joint credit account together — you would share responsibility for those equally. The rules regarding the equal sharing of debt that’s in only one of your names after marriage depends largely on where you live.

If you live in a community property state, most debts incurred after marriage may be treated as the responsibility of both spouses. Nine states have community property laws:

In common-law states, debt taken on after marriage is usually treated as being separate and belonging only to the spouse who incurred them. The exception are those debts that are in the spouse’s name only but benefit both partners. For instance, that might include credit card debt if the card was used to pay for basic needs like food, clothing, and shelter.

What’s the deal with marriage proposals?

You’re probably aware of the grand gesture Hollywood movie romance proposals that have been baked into our culture.

Things like the man getting down on his knee at a large sporting event and proposing on camera.

Or doing the same in a crowded restaurant.

The woman is completely taken by surprise (as if she had no idea marriage would be in the works).

And, she’s uncomfortably put on the spot, in public. She’s expected to instinctively say “yes” to one of the most important life choices she’ll ever face.

This makes no sense to me.

Unless you jump into marriage quickly (never a good idea), you’ve known each other for a while and maybe you already live together.

How could the very idea of marriage come out of the blue with a proposal? How could the couple not have discussed this already?

And for those of us who are over 60 and have probably been down this road before with an ex-spouse, wouldn’t we rather have a conversation than a big show?

But I suppose, if a traditional marriage is what you’re after, then maybe you DO want the big show.

In my thinking, now at age 70, the big show proposal or even a quiet surprise proposal doesn’t fit with the kind of equal partnership I want.

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​Case Study Two: Two Unmarried Seniors Living Together

User Generated

Business Finance

Southern New Hampshire University

Description

Case Study Two: Two Unmarried Seniors Living Together

In a two-page paper, respond to the following case study with arguments for and arguments against this arrangement.

Using A-R-E (Assertion-Reasoning-Evidence) will help you to produce your work. Short paper assignments must include a cover page and reference page, double spacing, 12‐point Times New Roman font, one‐inch margins, and discipline‐appropriate citations. Short papers should be two to three pages in length (not including cover page and reference page). I attached a sample of the paper, so it needs to be something similar, but not plagiarised.

Explanation & Answer

Attached. 1 Running Head: CASE STUDY TWO TWO UNMARRIED SENIORS LIVING TOGETHER By,(Name) Course Professor Institutional Affiliation Date CASE STUDY TWO 2 Along the valleys of Utah State, two unmarried individuals are staying together. It is two years now since Scot and Mitchell moved together. Scot, who is 69 years old, lost the wife through cervical cancer while Mitchell, aged 65, lost the husband through a tragic road accident that happened one year ago. The two, who were neighbors, decided that they should move in together for companionship. They have been having sex just like married people. The two have grown up children who just recently noticed that the two are staying together. Scot’s only son, Richard, works in the New York Stock Exchange Market, visited the dad and was not happy with the arrangement of the two staying together without a legal framework. Richard planned a meeting with the two daughters of Mitchell to discuss the matter. Mitchell’s daughters were equally unhappy w...

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