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Bad College Essays: 10 Mistakes You Must Avoid

College Essays

Just as there are noteworthy examples of excellent college essays that admissions offices like to publish, so are there cringe-worthy examples of terrible college essays that end up being described by anonymous admissions officers on Reddit discussion boards.

While I won't guarantee that your essay will end up in the first category, I will say that you follow my advice in this article, your essay most assuredly won't end up in the second. How do you avoid writing a bad admissions essay? Read on to find out what makes an essay bad and to learn which college essay topics to avoid. I'll also explain how to recognize bad college essays—and what to do to if you end up creating one by accident.

What Makes Bad College Essays Bad

What exactly happens to turn a college essay terrible? Just as great personal statements combine an unexpected topic with superb execution, flawed personal statements compound problematic subject matter with poor execution.

Problems With the Topic

The primary way to screw up a college essay is to flub what the essay is about or how you've decided to discuss a particular experience. Badly chosen essay content can easily create an essay that is off-putting in one of a number of ways I'll discuss in the next section.

The essay is the place to let the admissions office of your target college get to know your personality, character, and the talents and skills that aren't on your transcript. So if you start with a terrible topic, not only will you end up with a bad essay, but you risk ruining the good impression that the rest of your application makes.

Some bad topics show admissions officers that you don't have a good sense of judgment or maturity , which is a problem since they are building a class of college students who have to be able to handle independent life on campus.

Other bad topics suggest that you are a boring person , or someone who doesn't process your experience in a colorful or lively way, which is a problem since colleges want to create a dynamic and engaged cohort of students.

Still other bad topics indicate that you're unaware of or disconnected from the outside world and focused only on yourself , which is a problem since part of the point of college is to engage with new people and new ideas, and admissions officers are looking for people who can do that.

Problems With the Execution

Sometimes, even if the experiences you discuss could be the foundation of a great personal statement, the way you've structured and put together your essay sends up warning flags. This is because the admissions essay is also a place to show the admissions team the maturity and clarity of your writing style.

One way to get this part wrong is to exhibit very faulty writing mechanics , like unclear syntax or incorrectly used punctuation. This is a problem since college-ready writing is one of the things that's expected from a high school graduate.

Another way to mess this up is to ignore prompt instructions either for creative or careless reasons. This can show admissions officers that you're either someone who simply blows off directions and instructions or someone who can't understand how to follow them . Neither is a good thing, since they are looking for people who are open to receiving new information from professors and not just deciding they know everything already.

College Essay Topics To Avoid

Want to know why you're often advised to write about something mundane and everyday for your college essay? That's because the more out-there your topic, the more likely it is to stumble into one of these trouble categories.

Too Personal

The problem with the overly personal essay topic is that revealing something very private can show that you don't really understand boundaries . And knowing where appropriate boundaries are will be key for living on your own with a bunch of people not related to you.

Unfortunately, stumbling into the TMI zone of essay topics is more common than you think. One quick test for checking your privacy-breaking level: if it's not something you'd tell a friendly stranger sitting next to you on the plane, maybe don't tell it to the admissions office.

• Describing losing your virginity, or anything about your sex life really. This doesn't mean you can't write about your sexual orientation—just leave out the actual physical act.
• Writing in too much detail about your illness, disability, any other bodily functions. Detailed meaningful discussion of what this physical condition has meant to you and your life is a great thing to write about. But stay away from body horror and graphic descriptions that are simply there for gratuitous shock value.
• Waxing poetic about your love for your significant other. Your relationship is adorable to the people currently involved in it, but those who don't know you aren't invested in this aspect of your life.
• Confessing to odd and unusual desires of the sexual or illegal variety. Your obsession with cultivating cacti is wonderful topic, while your obsession with researching explosives is a terrible one.

Too Revealing of Bad Judgment

Generally speaking, leave past illegal or immoral actions out of your essay . It's simply a bad idea to give admissions officers ammunition to dislike you.

Some exceptions might be if you did something in a very, very different mindset from the one you're in now (in the midst of escaping from danger, under severe coercion, or when you were very young, for example). Or if your essay is about explaining how you've turned over a new leaf and you have the transcript to back you up.

• Writing about committing crime as something fun or exciting. Unless it's on your permanent record, and you'd like a chance to explain how you've learned your lesson and changed, don't put this in your essay.
• Describing drug use or the experience of being drunk or high. Even if you're in a state where some recreational drugs are legal, you're a high school student. Your only exposure to mind-altering substances should be caffeine.
• Making up fictional stories about yourself as though they are true. You're unlikely to be a good enough fantasist to pull this off, and there's no reason to roll the dice on being discovered to be a liar.
• Detailing your personality flaws. Unless you have a great story of coping with one of these, leave deal-breakers like pathological narcissism out of your personal statement.

Too Overconfident

While it's great to have faith in your abilities, no one likes a relentless show-off. No matter how magnificent your accomplishments, if you decide to focus your essay on them, it's better to describe a setback or a moment of doubt rather that simply praising yourself to the skies.

• Bragging and making yourself the flawless hero of your essay. This goes double if you're writing about not particularly exciting achievements like scoring the winning goal or getting the lead in the play.
• Having no awareness of the actual scope of your accomplishments. It's lovely that you take time to help others, but volunteer-tutoring a couple of hours a week doesn't make you a saintly figure.

Too Clichéd or Boring

Remember your reader. In this case, you're trying to make yourself memorable to an admissions officer who has been reading thousands of other essays . If your essay makes the mistake of being boring or trite, it just won't register in that person's mind as anything worth paying attention to.

• Transcribing your resume into sentence form or writing about the main activity on your transcript. The application already includes your resume, or a detailed list of your various activities. Unless the prompt specifically asks you to write about your main activity, the essay needs to be about a facet of your interests and personality that doesn't come through the other parts of the application.
• Writing about sports. Every athlete tries to write this essay. Unless you have a completely off-the-wall story or unusual achievement, leave this overdone topic be.
• Being moved by your community service trip to a third-world country. Were you were impressed at how happy the people seemed despite being poor? Did you learn a valuable lesson about how privileged you are? Unfortunately, so has every other teenager who traveled on one of these trips. Writing about this tends to simultaneously make you sound unempathetic, clueless about the world, way over-privileged, and condescending. Unless you have a highly specific, totally unusual story to tell, don't do it.
• Reacting with sadness to a sad, but very common experience. Unfortunately, many of the hard, formative events in your life are fairly universal. So, if you're going to write about death or divorce, make sure to focus on how you dealt with this event, so the essay is something only you could possibly have written. Only detailed, idiosyncratic description can save this topic.
• Going meta. Don't write about the fact that you're writing the essay as we speak, and now the reader is reading it, and look, the essay is right here in the reader's hand. It's a technique that seems clever, but has already been done many times in many different ways.
• Offering your ideas on how to fix the world. This is especially true if your solution is an easy fix, if only everyone would just listen to you. Trust me, there's just no way you are being realistically appreciative of the level of complexity inherent in the problem you're describing.
• Starting with a famous quotation. There usually is no need to shore up your own words by bringing in someone else's. Of course, if you are writing about a particular phrase that you've adopted as a life motto, feel free to include it. But even then, having it be the first line in your essay feels like you're handing the keys over to that author and asking them to drive.
• Using an everyday object as a metaphor for your life/personality. "Shoes. They are like this, and like that, and people love them for all of these reasons. And guess what? They are just like me."

Too Off-Topic

Unlike the essays you've been writing in school where the idea is to analyze something outside of yourself, the main subject of your college essay should be you, your background, your makeup, and your future . Writing about someone or something else might well make a great essay, but not for this context.

• Paying tribute to someone very important to you. Everyone would love to meet your grandma, but this isn't the time to focus on her amazing coming of age story. If you do want to talk about a person who is important to your life, dwell on the ways you've been impacted by them, and how you will incorporate this impact into your future.
• Documenting how well other people do things, say things, are active, while you remain passive and inactive in the essay. Being in the orbit of someone else's important lab work, or complex stage production, or meaningful political activism is a fantastic learning moment. But if you decide to write about, your essay should be about your learning and how you've been influenced, not about the other person's achievements.
• Concentrating on a work of art that deeply moved you. Watch out for the pitfall of writing an analytical essay about that work, and not at all about your reaction to it or how you've been affected since. Check out our explanation of how to answer Topic D of the ApplyTexas application to get some advice on writing about someone else's work while making sure your essay still points back at you.

(Image: Pieter Christoffel Wonder [Public domain] , via Wikimedia Commons)

Too Offensive

With this potential mistake, you run the risk of showing a lack of self-awareness or the ability to be open to new ideas . Remember, no reader wants to be lectured at. If that's what your essay does, you are demonstrating an inability to communicate successfully with others.

Also, remember that no college is eager to admit someone who is too close-minded to benefit from being taught by others. A long, one-sided essay about a hot-button issue will suggest that you are exactly that.

• Ranting at length about political, religious, or other contentious topics. You simply don't know where the admissions officer who reads your essay stands on any of these issues. It's better to avoid upsetting or angering that person.
• Writing a one-sided diatribe about guns, abortion, the death penalty, immigration, or anything else in the news. Even if you can marshal facts in your argument, this essay is simply the wrong place to take a narrow, unempathetic side in an ongoing debate.
• Mentioning anything negative about the school you're applying to. Again, your reader is someone who works there and presumably is proud of the place. This is not the time to question the admissions officer's opinions or life choices.

College Essay Execution Problems To Avoid

Bad college essays aren't only caused by bad topics. Sometimes, even if you're writing about an interesting, relevant topic, you can still seem immature or unready for college life because of the way you present that topic—the way you actually write your personal statement. Check to make sure you haven't made any of the common mistakes on this list.

Tone-Deafness

Admissions officers are looking for resourcefulness, the ability to be resilient, and an active and optimistic approach to life —these are all qualities that create a thriving college student. Essays that don't show these qualities are usually suffering from tone-deafness.

• Being whiny or complaining about problems in your life. Is the essay about everyone doing things to/against you? About things happening to you, rather than you doing anything about them? That perspective is a definite turn-off.
• Trying and failing to use humor. You may be very funny in real life, but it's hard to be successfully funny in this context, especially when writing for a reader who doesn't know you. If you do want to use humor, I'd recommend the simplest and most straightforward version: being self-deprecating and low-key.
• Talking down to the reader, or alternately being self-aggrandizing. No one enjoys being condescended to. In this case, much of the function of your essay is to charm and make yourself likable, which is unlikely to happen if you adopt this tone.
• Being pessimistic, cynical, and generally depressive. You are applying to college because you are looking forward to a future of learning, achievement, and self-actualization. This is not the time to bust out your existential ennui and your jaded, been-there-done-that attitude toward life.

(Image: Eduard Munch [Public Domain] , via Wikimedia Commons)

Lack of Personality

One good question to ask yourself is: could anyone else have written this essay ? If the answer is yes, then you aren't doing a good job of representing your unique perspective on the world. It's very important to demonstrate your ability to be a detailed observer of the world, since that will be one of your main jobs as a college student.

• Avoiding any emotions, and appearing robot-like and cold in the essay. Unlike essays that you've been writing for class, this essay is meant to be a showcase of your authorial voice and personality. It may seem strange to shift gears after learning how to take yourself out of your writing, but this is the place where you have to put as much as yourself in as possible.
• Skipping over description and specific details in favor of writing only in vague generalities. Does your narrative feel like a newspaper horoscope, which could apply to every other person who was there that day? Then you're doing it wrong and need to refocus on your reaction, feelings, understanding, and transformation.

Off-Kilter Style

There's some room for creativity here, yes, but a college essay isn't a free-for-all postmodern art class . True, there are prompts that specifically call for your most out-of-left-field submission, or allow you to submit a portfolio or some other work sample instead of a traditional essay. But on a standard application, it's better to stick to traditional prose, split into paragraphs, further split into sentences.

• Submitting anything other than just the materials asked for on your application. Don't send food to the admissions office, don't write your essay on clothing or shoes, don't create a YouTube channel about your undying commitment to the school. I know there are a lot of urban legends about "that one time this crazy thing worked," but they are either not true or about something that will not work a second time.
• Writing your essay in verse, in the form of a play, in bullet points, as an acrostic, or any other non-prose form. Unless you really have a way with poetry or playwriting, and you are very confident that you can meet the demands of the prompt and explain yourself well in this form, don't discard prose simply for the sake of being different.
• Using as many "fancy" words as possible and getting very far away from sounding like yourself. Admissions officers are unanimous in wanting to hear your not fully formed teenage voice in your essay. This means that you should write at the top of your vocabulary range and syntax complexity, but don't trade every word up for a thesaurus synonym. Your essay will suffer for it.

Failure to Proofread

Most people have a hard time checking over their own work. This is why you have to make sure that someone else proofreads your writing . This is the one place where you can, should—and really must—get someone who knows all about grammar, punctuation and has a good eye for detail to take a red pencil to your final draft.

Otherwise, you look like you either don't know the basic rules or writing (in which case, are you really ready for college work?) or don't care enough to present yourself well (in which case, why would the admissions people care about admitting you?).

• Typos, grammatical mistakes, punctuation flubs, weird font/paragraph spacing issues. It's true that these are often unintentional mistakes. But caring about getting it right is a way to demonstrate your work ethic and dedication to the task at hand.
• Going over the word limit. Part of showing your brilliance is being able to work within arbitrary rules and limitations. Going over the word count points to a lack of self-control, which is not a very attractive feature in a college applicant.
• Repeating the same word(s) or sentence structure over and over again. This makes your prose monotonous and hard to read.

Bad College Essay Examples—And How to Fix Them

The beauty of writing is that you get to rewrite. So if you think of your essay as a draft waiting to be revised into a better version rather than as a precious jewel that can't bear being touched, you'll be in far better shape to correct the issues that always crop up!

Now let's take a look at some actual college essay drafts to see where the writer is going wrong and how the issue could be fixed.

Essay #1: The "I Am Writing This Essay as We Speak" Meta-Narrative

Was your childhood home destroyed by a landspout tornado? Yeah, neither was mine. I know that intro might have given the impression that this college essay will be about withstanding disasters, but the truth is that it isn't about that at all.

In my junior year, I always had in mind an image of myself finishing the college essay months before the deadline. But as the weeks dragged on and the deadline drew near, it soon became clear that at the rate things are going I would probably have to make new plans for my October, November and December.

Falling into my personal wormhole, I sat down with my mom to talk about colleges. "Maybe you should write about Star Trek ," she suggested, "you know how you've always been obsessed with Captain Picard, calling him your dream mentor. Unique hobbies make good topics, right? You'll sound creative!" I played with the thought in my mind, tapping my imaginary communicator pin and whispering "Computer. Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. And then an Essay." Nothing happened. Instead, I sat quietly in my room wrote the old-fashioned way. Days later I emerged from my room disheveled, but to my dismay, this college essay made me sound like just a guy who can't get over the fact that he'll never take the Starfleet Academy entrance exam. So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun.

I fell into a state of panic. My college essay. My image of myself in senior year. Almost out of nowhere, Robert Jameson Smith offered his words of advice. Perfect! He suggested students begin their college essay by listing their achievements and letting their essay materialize from there. My heart lifted, I took his advice and listed three of my greatest achievements - mastering my backgammon strategy, being a part of TREE in my sophomore year, and performing "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General" from The Pirates of Penzance in public. And sure enough, I felt inspiration hit me and began to type away furiously into the keyboard about my experience in TREE, or Trees Require Engaged Environmentalists. I reflected on the current state of deforestation, and described the dichotomy of it being both understandable why farmers cut down forests for farmland, and how dangerous this is to our planet. Finally, I added my personal epiphany to the end of my college essay as the cherry on the vanilla sundae, as the overused saying goes.

After 3 weeks of figuring myself out, I have converted myself into a piece of writing. As far as achievements go, this was definitely an amazing one. The ability to transform a human being into 603 words surely deserves a gold medal. Yet in this essay, I was still being nagged by a voice that couldn't be ignored. Eventually, I submitted to that yelling inner voice and decided that this was not the right essay either.

In the middle of a hike through Philadelphia's Fairmount Park, I realized that the college essay was nothing more than an embodiment of my character. The two essays I have written were not right because they have failed to become more than just words on recycled paper. The subject failed to come alive. Certainly my keen interest in Star Trek and my enthusiasm for TREE are a great part of who I am, but there were other qualities essential in my character that did not come across in the essays.

With this realization, I turned around as quickly as I could without crashing into a tree.

What Essay #1 Does Well

Here are all things that are working on all cylinders for this personal statement as is.

Killer First Sentence

Was your childhood home destroyed by a landspout tornado? Yeah, neither was mine.

• A strange fact. There are different kinds of tornadoes? What is a "landspout tornado" anyway?
• A late-night-deep-thoughts hypothetical. What would it be like to be a kid whose house was destroyed in this unusual way?
• Direct engagement with the reader. Instead of asking "what would it be like to have a tornado destroy a house" it asks "was your house ever destroyed."

Gentle, Self-Deprecating Humor That Lands Well

I played with the thought in my mind, tapping my imaginary communicator pin and whispering "Computer. Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. And then an Essay." Nothing happened. Instead, I sat quietly in my room wrote the old-fashioned way. Days later I emerged from my room disheveled, but to my dismay, this college essay made me sound like just a guy who can't get over the fact that he'll never take the Starfleet Academy entrance exam. So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun.

The author has his cake and eats it too here: both making fun of himself for being super into the Star Trek mythos, but also showing himself being committed enough to try whispering a command to the Enterprise computer alone in his room. You know, just in case.

A Solid Point That Is Made Paragraph by Paragraph

The meat of the essay is that the two versions of himself that the author thought about portraying each fails in some way to describe the real him. Neither an essay focusing on his off-beat interests, nor an essay devoted to his serious activism could capture everything about a well-rounded person in 600 words.

(Image: fir0002 via Wikimedia Commons .)

Where Essay #1 Needs Revision

Rewriting these flawed parts will make the essay shine.

Spending Way Too Long on the Metanarrative

I know that intro might have given the impression that this college essay will be about withstanding disasters, but the truth is that it isn't about that at all.

After 3 weeks of figuring myself out, I have converted myself into a piece of writing. As far as achievements go, this was definitely an amazing one. The ability to transform a human being into 603 words surely deserves a gold medal.

Look at how long and draggy these paragraphs are, especially after that zippy opening. Is it at all interesting to read about how someone else found the process of writing hard? Not really, because this is a very common experience.

In the rewrite, I'd advise condensing all of this to maybe a sentence to get to the meat of the actual essay .

Letting Other People Do All the Doing

I sat down with my mom to talk about colleges. "Maybe you should write about Star Trek ," she suggested, "you know how you've always been obsessed with Captain Picard, calling him your dream mentor. Unique hobbies make good topics, right? You'll sound creative!"

Almost out of nowhere, Robert Jameson Smith offered his words of advice. Perfect! He suggested students begin their college essay by listing their achievements and letting their essay materialize from there.

Twice in the essay, the author lets someone else tell him what to do. Not only that, but it sounds like both of the "incomplete" essays were dictated by the thoughts of other people and had little to do with his own ideas, experiences, or initiative.

In the rewrite, it would be better to recast both the Star Trek and the TREE versions of the essay as the author's own thoughts rather than someone else's suggestions . This way, the point of the essay—taking apart the idea that a college essay could summarize life experience—is earned by the author's two failed attempts to write that other kind of essay.

Leaving the Insight and Meaning Out of His Experiences

Both the Star Trek fandom and the TREE activism were obviously important life experiences for this author—important enough to be potential college essay topic candidates. But there is no description of what the author did with either one, nor any explanation of why these were so meaningful to his life.

It's fine to say that none of your achievements individually define you, but in order for that to work, you have to really sell the achievements themselves.

In the rewrite, it would be good to explore what he learned about himself and the world by pursuing these interests . How did they change him or seen him into the person he is today?

Not Adding New Shades and Facets of Himself Into the Mix

So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun.

Yet in this essay, I was still being nagged by a voice that couldn't be ignored. Eventually, I submitted to that yelling inner voice and decided that this was not the right essay either.

In both of these passages, there is the perfect opportunity to point out what exactly these failed versions of the essay didn't capture about the author . In the next essay draft, I would suggest subtly making a point about his other qualities.

For example, after the Star Trek paragraph, he could talk about other culture he likes to consume, especially if he can discuss art forms he is interested in that would not be expected from someone who loves Star Trek .

Or, after the TREE paragraph, the author could explain why this second essay was no better at capturing him than the first. What was missing? Why is the self in the essay shouting—is it because this version paints him as an overly aggressive activist?

Essay #2: The "I Once Saw Poor People" Service Trip Essay

Unlike other teenagers, I'm not concerned about money, or partying, or what others think of me. Unlike other eighteen year-olds, I think about my future, and haven't become totally materialistic and acquisitive. My whole outlook on life changed after I realized that my life was just being handed to me on a silver spoon, and yet there were those in the world who didn't have enough food to eat or place to live. I realized that the one thing that this world needed more than anything was compassion; compassion for those less fortunate than us.

During the summer of 2006, I went on a community service trip to rural Peru to help build an elementary school for kids there. I expected harsh conditions, but what I encountered was far worse. It was one thing to watch commercials asking for donations to help the unfortunate people in less developed countries, yet it was a whole different story to actually live it. Even after all this time, I can still hear babies crying from hunger; I can still see the filthy rags that they wore; I can still smell the stench of misery and hopelessness. But my most vivid memory was the moment I first got to the farming town. The conditions of it hit me by surprise; it looked much worse in real life than compared to the what our group leader had told us. Poverty to me and everyone else I knew was a foreign concept that people hear about on the news or see in documentaries. But this abject poverty was their life, their reality. And for the brief ten days I was there, it would be mine too. As all of this realization came at once, I felt overwhelmed by the weight of what was to come. Would I be able to live in the same conditions as these people? Would I catch a disease that no longer existed in the first world, or maybe die from drinking contaminated water? As these questions rolled around my already dazed mind, I heard a soft voice asking me in Spanish, "Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" I looked down to see a small boy, around nine years of age, who looked starved, and cold, wearing tattered clothing, comforting me. These people who have so little were able to forget their own needs, and put those much more fortunate ahead of themselves. It was at that moment that I saw how selfish I had been. How many people suffered like this in the world, while I went about life concerned about nothing at all?

Thinking back on the trip, maybe I made a difference, maybe not. But I gained something much more important. I gained the desire to make the world a better place for others. It was in a small, poverty-stricken village in Peru that I finally realized that there was more to life than just being alive.

What Essay #2 Does Well

Let's first point out what this draft has going for it.

Clear Chronology

This is an essay that tries to explain a shift in perspective. There are different ways to structure this overarching idea, but a chronological approach that starts with an earlier opinion, describes a mind changing event, and ends with the transformed point of view is an easy and clear way to lay this potentially complex subject out.

(Image: User:Lite via Wikimedia Commons)

Where Essay #2 Needs Revision

Now let's see what needs to be changed in order for this essay to pass muster.

Condescending, Obnoxious Tone

Unlike other teenagers, I'm not concerned about money, or partying, or what others think of me. Unlike other eighteen year-olds, I think about my future, and haven't become totally materialistic and acquisitive.

This is a very broad generalization, which doesn't tend to be the best way to formulate an argument—or to start an essay. It just makes this author sound dismissive of a huge swath of the population.

In the rewrite, this author would be way better off just concentrate on what she want to say about herself, not pass judgment on "other teenagers," most of whom she doesn't know and will never meet.

I realized that the one thing that this world needed more than anything was compassion; compassion for those less fortunate than us.

Coming from someone who hasn't earned her place in the world through anything but the luck of being born, the word "compassion" sounds really condescending. Calling others "less fortunate" when you're a senior in high school has a dehumanizing quality to it.

These people who have so little were able to forget their own needs, and put those much more fortunate in front of themselves.

Again, this comes across as very patronizing. Not only that, but to this little boy the author was clearly not looking all that "fortunate"—instead, she looked pathetic enough to need comforting.

In the next draft, a better hook could be making the essay about the many different kinds of shifting perspectives the author encountered on that trip . A more meaningful essay would compare and contrast the points of view of the TV commercials, to what the group leader said, to the author's own expectations, and finally to this child's point of view.

Vague, Unobservant Description

During the summer of 2006, I went on a community service trip to rural Peru to help build an elementary school for kids there. I expected harsh conditions, but what I encountered was far worse. It was one thing to watch commercials asking for donations to help the unfortunate people in less developed countries, yet it was a whole different story to actually live it. Even after all this time, I can still hear babies crying from hunger; I can still see the filthy rags that they wore; I can still smell the stench of misery and hopelessness.

Phrases like "cries of the small children from not having enough to eat" and "dirt stained rags" seem like descriptions, but they're really closer to incurious and completely hackneyed generalizations. Why were the kids were crying? How many kids? All the kids? One specific really loud kid?

The same goes for "filthy rags," which is both an incredibly insensitive way to talk about the clothing of these villagers, and again shows a total lack of interest in their life. Why were their clothes dirty? Were they workers or farmers so their clothes showing marks of labor? Did they have Sunday clothes? Traditional clothes they would put on for special occasions? Did they make their own clothes? That would be a good reason to keep wearing clothing even if it had "stains" on it.

The rewrite should either make this section more specific and less reliant on cliches, or should discard it altogether .

The conditions of it hit me by surprise; it looked much worse in real life than compared to the what our group leader had told us. Poverty to me and everyone else I knew was a foreign concept that people hear about on the news or see in documentaries. But this abject poverty was their life, their reality.

If this is the "most vivid memory," then I would expect to read all the details that have been seared into the author's brain. What did their leader tell them? What was different in real life? What was the light like? What did the houses/roads/grass/fields/trees/animals/cars look like? What time of day was it? Did they get there by bus, train, or plane? Was there an airport/train station/bus terminal? A city center? Shops? A marketplace?

There are any number of details to include here when doing another drafting pass.

Lack of Insight or Maturity

But this abject poverty was their life, their reality. And for the brief ten days I was there, it would be mine too. As all of this realization came at once, I felt overwhelmed by the weight of what was to come. Would I be able to live in the same conditions as these people? Would I catch a disease that no longer existed in the first world, or maybe die from drinking contaminated water?

Without a framing device explaining that this initial panic was an overreaction, this section just makes the author sound whiny, entitled, melodramatic, and immature . After all, this isn't a a solo wilderness trek—the author is there with a paid guided program. Just how much mortality is typically associated with these very standard college-application-boosting service trips?

In a rewrite, I would suggest including more perspective on the author's outsized and overprivileged response here. This would fit well with a new focus on the different points of view on this village the author encountered.

Unearned, Clichéd "Deep Thoughts"

But I gained something much more important. I gained the desire to make the world a better place for others. It was in a small, poverty-stricken village in Peru that I finally realized that there was more to life than just being alive.

Is it really believable that this is what the author learned? There is maybe some evidence to suggest that the author was shaken somewhat out of a comfortable, materialistic existence. But what does "there is more to life than just being alive" even really mean? This conclusion is rather vague, and seems mostly a non sequitur.

In a rewrite, the essay should be completely reoriented to discuss how differently others see us than we see ourselves, pivoting on the experience of being pitied by someone who you thought was pitiable. Then, the new version can end by on a note of being better able to understand different points of view and other people's perspectives .

The Bottom Line

• Bad college essays have problems either with their topics or their execution.
• The essay is how admissions officers learn about your personality, point of view, and maturity level, so getting the topic right is a key factor in letting them see you as an aware, self-directed, open-minded applicant who is going to thrive in an environment of independence.
• The essay is also how admissions officers learn that you are writing at a ready-for-college level, so screwing up the execution shows that you either don't know how to write, or don't care enough to do it well.
• The main ways college essay topics go wrong is bad taste, bad judgment, and lack of self-awareness.
• The main ways college essays fail in their execution have to do with ignoring format, syntax, and genre expectations.

What's Next?

Want to read some excellent college essays now that you've seen some examples of flawed one? Take a look through our roundup of college essay examples published by colleges and then get help with brainstorming your perfect college essay topic .

Need some guidance on other parts of the application process? Check out our detailed, step-by-step guide to college applications for advice.

Are you considering taking the SAT or ACT again before you submit your application? Read about our famous test prep guides for hints and strategies for a better score.

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Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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Just read JHUs "essays that worked" - is this the formula I should use?

Reading through JHUs essays from co2025, I can't help but notice a super clear formula: start out with a simple anecdote, mention a lesson you learned from it, and then connect it to everything you've done during high school.

And when I say each and every one, it's literally each and every one: [enter anecdote - Solitaire, crocheting, pilot lessons, chess]; [enter lesson - self-accountability, hard work, open-mindedness, perseverance]; [enter what you've done during HS and how it connects to that lesson]; [end with a cute reference to anecdote and about how far you've gotten since first learning said lesson]. Seriously, if you don't believe me, read them here .

It's also not just JHU. Though more anecdotal evidence, I've seen many AOs mention how their favorite essays they've ever read are about mowing the lawn or going to Costco or driving a car that all too follow that formula of small anecdote + lesson + connection to you now. Although I do like some of them, I feel like in general that style of writing is boring and I'd prefer not to write that way but now am in a dilemma where I feel like that's the way I'm supposed to write if I want good results.

And I'm not saying that all successful essays are like those. Some of my favorite essays I've read like Cassandra Hsiao's English essay, the letter S essay, or the vast majority of NYTimes money essays have vastly different structures and also are written by students who ended up with great results. However, I don't see AOs themselves championing those essays, and for all I know, the essays may not have been a main reason those students got in.

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Essays That Worked

The essays are a place to show us who you are and who you’ll be in our community.

It’s a chance to add depth to something that is important to you and tell the admissions committee more about your background or goals. Below you’ll find selected examples of essays that “worked,” as nominated by our admissions committee. In each of these essays, students were able to share stories from their everyday lives to reveal something about their character, values, and life that aligned with the culture and values at Hopkins.

Read essays that worked from Transfer applicants .

Hear from the class of 2028.

These selections represent just a few examples of essays we found impressive and helpful during the past admissions cycle. We hope these essays inspire you as you prepare to compose your own personal statements. The most important thing to remember is to be original as you share your own story, thoughts, and ideas with us.

The Art of Imperfection

In this essay, Stella dives into her journey in the art world and the challenges that came with it.

Finding Purpose in Trivial Projects

Anjali uses her essay to share her experiences with making miniatures. We see how this passion influences everything she does.

Korean Sticky Notes

Nancy’s essay details the responsibilities she had at a young age and her resulting spirit of exploration.

Being the Handyman

Sarah chronicles her experience as her household “handyman” and the versatility of skills she acquired over the years.

To Stand Out or Fit In

Caroline’s essay focuses on their experiences developing and accepting their identity. We see how Caroline navigates the challenge of being themself while also trying to fit in with their peers.

A Growing World

Calla highlights her early wonder by dreaming of future expeditions and playing them out in her backyard. As Calla grows, so does her curiosity and ambition.

More essays that worked

We share essays from previously admitted students—along with feedback from our admissions committee—so you can understand what made them effective and how to start crafting your own.

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How to End a College Essay: Six Strategies

Gina twardosz.

• Last Updated on August 22, 2024

Table of Contents

Congratulations! You’ve reached the end of your Common App personal statement…or you’re thinking about the end of your personal statement, and that’s still a cause for celebration. 

Consider your favorite show, film, or book—how did you feel when it ended? Perhaps you were sad because you had spent so much time with the characters that they felt like close friends, or maybe you were angry at a disappointing conclusion that left more questions than answers. 

Whether we like it or not, a conclusion, good or bad, can change how we feel about a piece of media. It’s just as important as your introduction, and maybe even more important since it’s the last thing your reader will read. In this blog post, we’ll explore how to end a college essay to make a lasting impression.

Why Is the Ending Important?

When friends ask me for book or movie recommendations, I always start with the ending. “You have to watch it, the ending was so heartwarming!” I say, or, more often than not, “Don’t watch it—the ending didn’t make any sense.” 

Endings have huge cultural staying power and can even change the audience’s perception of the entire work. You don’t want to unravel your tightly wound story with a loose ending! 

And they lived happily ever after. 

This ending may be unforgettable but for the wrong reasons. Your life is not a fairy tale, so your essay can’t have such a boring, basic conclusion. The ending to your college essay should be rich with nuance and insight. 

To make a lasting impression on the reader, your conclusion should push boundaries, following the reader long after they finish reading your college essay. The end of your college essay should satisfy the reader, tying up loose ends, but a good conclusion is also active, not passive. A good ending to your college essay asks and answers the question, “What’s the point?” Why did the reader just read a 650-word story about you?

Your conclusion is, in many ways, a gift to the reader. It’s the dessert after a long meal—it completes their reading experience and makes everything that came before it worth it. 

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Before we explore the different ways to end a college essay, let’s discuss what not to do. 

The biggest mistake students make when crafting an end to their college essay is not taking the conclusion seriously. 

In essays you’ve written for class, you may have been encouraged to restate your thesis in the conclusion. While that’s a good strategy for an informative essay, a college personal essay is very different. Your college essay may not even have a clear thesis statement, and that’s okay. 

You should not summarize your essay in your conclusion either. A pointed summary of all the main points of your college essay may seem memorable, but it lacks creativity and can seem as though you’re talking down to the reader. A good ending introduces a new part of the essay, so it should stand out while remaining cohesive. 

How to End a College Essay

If you want your essay to capture attention and resonate with the reader, follow these six strategies for ending a college essay. 

Reflect 

While you should be reflecting throughout your essay, a great way to tie together any themes or lessons learned is by reflecting on your values or beliefs at the end of the essay. Have they changed since the beginning of the story by growing stronger, maybe even weaker as you’ve gained more knowledge? 

It’s important to note that reflection is not summary—you’re introducing a new way of looking at your story in the conclusion. In a way, reflection is the analysis of your story.

Reflection is a great way to show maturity and growth. While you’ll likely grow and mature even more throughout college, reflecting on your experiences shows a thoughtfulness conducive to a college education. 

If you’ve ever seen a stand-up comedian perform, then you know that sometimes they reference earlier jokes later in the set. A “callback” can seem like an inside joke between the comedian and audience, creating familiarity between performer and spectator. 

Let’s look at the essay introduction imagined in the article, “ How to Write a Good Essay Hook. ”

“Yuck!” I yelled as the pigeon pooped on my head. 

It’s safe to assume this essay will be, in part, about overcoming challenges or adversity. So, how should it end? To match the humor of the introduction, a callback can be utilized to end this college essay. 

The best advice I ever received was to stay positive. Keep looking up, because if anything, you’ll see the pigeon before it poops! 

While this essay is very humorous, your essay doesn’t have to be funny to use a callback.

Rescue Your Cliffhanger

It may be self explanatory, but if you started your essay with a cliffhanger, you’ll have to return to it at the end, saving whatever you left dangling in a move that will leave the reader both relieved, satisfied, and maybe even a little surprised. 

Ending your essay in a scene is also an active way to leave a memorable impression on the reader.

You’ve experienced a lot so far, but there is still so much for you to discover. Readers of your essay know that your big journey is just beginning, so don’t be afraid to end your essay looking toward the future. Especially if your essay is about overcoming a challenge, you’ll want to end on a positive note as you look out toward your potential. 

Just as you’re reflecting inward, look outward at the world around you. What’s next for you? Show the reader that your story is only ending on paper. 

When writing the perfect college essay, the stakes can feel overwhelming. Applying to colleges is a serious undertaking, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t allow yourself to feel excited! You’re going to college, and you’re going to do big things when you’re there, and beyond.

While you’ll likely have a chance to write about your career aspirations in one of the many short answer supplemental essays colleges require, your college essay can be a great way for you to write about your hopes and dreams. Especially if you’re writing about your identity, background, or talents, ending on your dreams can leave the reader with a memorable and heartwarming message.  

Surprise Twist! 

M. Night Shyamalan: You either love his twist endings…or you loathe them. I won’t tell you how to watch movies, but when it comes to writing, I can assure you that a surprise twist can make your college essay impossible to forget. 

It should be said that this can be one of the hardest endings to get right, and it definitely depends upon the way you’ve structured your essay. But if your essay is pretty conventional, a surprise twist can take your college essay to the next level. 

Think of your twist ending as more of a pivot into a new direction. It’s important not to stray too far from the topic of the essay—you don’t want a disjointed essay—but surprise twists can be a great way to ensure your essay doesn’t fall victim to trope. 

For example, maybe your essay is about becoming a more adventurous cook, but in the end, you end up burning Thanksgiving dinner! Things didn’t go as expected, but through this journey, you learned what truly matters is family…and takeout food. 

Life is full of twists and turns, and if you can work one into your essay, you may just take the right path toward your dream school. 

While the end of a college essay is only one part of it, it has the ability to the define the essay, so it’s important to take it seriously and write a creative ending that satisfies the reader while leaving a lasting impression. It’s not enough to simply start the race, you have to finish strong to secure your victory. One of these six strategies can help you end your college essay, ensuring that your college essay is unforgettable.

How to Write the UPenn Supplemental Essays

If you aim to join the ranks of UPenn’s elite students, you’ll need more than good grades and

How to Write a Good Hook for a College Essay

Think about your favorite book or movie: How does it start? Is there action or mystery? Does the

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Learn the importance of a unified essay strategy: personal statement + quality supplementals = essay success.

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Essays That Worked: 50 Essays from Successful Applications to the Nation's Top Colleges Paperback – August 18, 1990

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5 Vanderbilt University Essay Intros That Worked

• essay topic
• college application essays

Vanderbilt University doesn’t require many other supplemental essays in their application. While this means there’s less to work to do, it also means you need to put a lot more effort into your personal statement. 

To help get that brain of yours moving, here are 5 essays from students who gained acceptance at Vanderbilt :

Vanderbilt ‘17

My grandfather waited patiently for me to surrender the blocks to him after my frustration sunk in. I remember the large crevices and calluses on his hands and marveled at how such large extremities could move with such gentle grace, while my tiny smooth hands barely had the coordination to grasp a single block.  He never comforted me, praised me or showed affection; it was part of his culture. Instead, he always reminded me that patience is key.  Growing up and developing coordination takes time, there was nothing I could do to rush the process besides wait for the frustration to pass and try again. View full essay.  

RebeccaKreiger

Vanderbilt ‘19.

I am a different person than I was two months ago. Before the summer, even during the summer, I was convinced it wouldn’t happen. I couldn’t understand why, but the program wasn’t “working” on me; I wasn’t having the life-changing experience past fellows had promised. And yet, here I am - I’ve changed. Our summer English assignment had been to create an anthology of three poems that “deserve to be read for as long as poetry is read in the English language” and also to compose three poems. During the first week of school, we each had to share our reflections. I’ve never struggled to speak in class, and before this summer, I was certain I had it all together. As I prepared to reveal the complete state of confusion that I had found through my experience on Bronfman, I listened to the first few students read from their anthologies and heard them conspicuously avoid their own work. Finally, I stood and offered my voice, “I’ll read.” Keep reading . 

If the 500-yard freestyle didn’t have counters, I would still be swimming. (Actually, that happened once and I ended up swimming a 550.) When I compete in the 500, I’m not thinking about the race. I don’t think about my speed, and I don’t think about the people swimming on either side of me. The moment I dive into the water, none of that matters. I set my pace, my overworked brain shuts down, and my subconscious takes over. Read on.

Vanderbilt ‘18

If there is one place in the world where I am content, it is Sunday dinner at my Grandma’s house. There are three courses of the Italian food that no one will ever be able to cook just like my grandmother does. The oval table it’s served on is surrounded by three generations of my mom’s family all taking the opportunity to relax at dinner together to take a breath and rejuvenate for the upcoming week. Although the weekly tradition has become less consistent as my cousins and I have grown both older and busier, Sunday dinners will always hold a special place in my heart. Continue reading.  

Vanderbilt ‘20

C, G, Em, D: over and over I strummed these chords on my first acoustic guitar. Every time, the transition between each chord became a little quicker; the sound rang out a little more clearly. It was final exam week of the first semester of my freshman year, and I was trying to take a mental break from studying. By winter break though, these simple chords came together as I learned to play my first songs. I looked up how-to-play videos on YouTube, bought different chord books, and practiced every day. I doubled, tripled, and then quadrupled the amount of chords and songs I knew. Keep reading.  

——

Interested in reading these students full personal statements that got them into Vanderbilt? Unlock all of them in one go with our Vanderbilt package ! 

Our  premium plans  offer different level of profile access and data insights that can help you get into your dream school. Unlock any of our  packages  or search our  undergraduate profile database  to find specific profiles that can help you make an informed choice about where to apply! 

Not sure if you want to apply to Vanderbilt yet? Do your research and browse through  profiles of students  accepted to see essays, stats, and advice. See how they got in, and how you can too!

About The Author

Frances was born in Hong Kong and received her bachelor’s degree from Georgetown University. She loves super sad drama television, cooking, and reading. Her favorite person on Earth isn’t actually a member of the AdmitSee team - it’s her dog Cooper.

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Essays that Worked

As we’ve done on occasion through the years, Hamilton is proud to present a few exceptional admission essays written by members of the latest class of incoming students. These essays offer a glimpse into the diverse backgrounds and experiences, as well as the writing talents, so many students bring to College Hill.

Aubrey Wallen ’26

Lakeland, tenn..

75,000 flipped pages. 11,520 packed boxes. 6 school maps. 

I began measuring my life in flipped pages, packed boxes, and school maps when I was 6. As my family and I flitted between states and coasts for my father’s job over the last decade, I shielded myself with fantasy novels. With my head propped on the baseboard near my nightlight and a book held up in front of me by aching arms, I would dance in whimsical forests, fight daring battles, and rule dangerous courts long after dark. In my fantastic universe, I could take turns being the queen, the knight, the hero, and even the villain. These books helped me express the happiness, anger, sadness, and queerness I could not have even begun to imagine alone.

The characters I discovered in novels as I toured libraries and Barnes & Noble stores in strip malls around the country taught me resilience and empowered me to nourish my strengths. Mare Barrow showed me the power of determined women, and I unapologetically strove for academic excellence and obtained a GPA of 4.4. Tane, from The Priory of the Orange Tree , inspired me to push the limits of my own body, so I’ve traversed approximately 1,544 miles in cross-country races and practices. Evelyn Hugo’s unapologetic character compelled me to want to embrace and feel free with my queerness rather than shelter it away in a shameful corner. Even further, this year I am adding a third dimension to my love of fantasy by interpreting Mrs. White in my school’s production of Shuddersome and The Monkey’s Paw with assistance from Anne of Green Gables, my first fictional idol, who massively influenced my personality and tendency for dramatics. But above all, Leigh Bardugu, my favorite author, gave me permission to even dare to write and to dream that I can. 

What began as a safety net in my adolescence has grown to something more, a true passion for English and all that it can express. Language is power and I wish to wield it like a mighty sword. I want to be the puppetmaster, the speaker, and the leader in a world that is crafted in ink. I want to be a New York Times bestseller and to know that whatever I do is impactful and that it creates a difference, no matter how small. I want to walk down a crowded street and see “my book” spread open in a passing person’s hands, as they refuse to put it down, just like I did so many times in the hallways of my middle school. A writer, a college professor, a publishing lawyer: I want it all, the riots of failure, and the pride of success. 

Without the assistance of literature, I wouldn’t be who I am today. If I hadn’t grown up fueled on library hauls I wouldn’t have discovered that I love English. I wouldn’t get shivers when I fret for a favorite character or celebrate their triumphs, be as ready to face obstacles, or be as adventurous as I am. Without the moves around the country and back, I wouldn’t have become so resilient and open to change, so adaptable to life, but most importantly I wouldn’t have become so in love with language. With every move I burrowed in books, and with every book I became me. Literature has made me in every way, and the only way I can repay it is to become the penman. 

Nicholas “Cole” Wassiliew ’26

Bethesda, md..

I dreaded their arrival. The tyrannical cicadas swarmed DC and neighboring areas in 1987, 2004, and again in 2021. I was freaking about Brood X, the worst of them all. Brood X is a cluster of cicadas that descend on Washington, D.C., every 17 years. I live in the epicenter of their swarm. Cicadas battled with mosquitoes for first place in the top tier of the human annoyance pyramid. I hate these off-brand cockroaches.

For 17 years, cicadas live underground feasting off of sap, running free of danger. Then, they emerge and face the real world. That sounds familiar. I have lived in the same house, in the same town, for 17 years, with my parents feeding me pasta and keeping me safe.

Is it conceivable that I have more in common with cicadas than I previously thought? Cicadas have beady, red eyes. After a year of enduring Zoom classes, attending tele-health appointments, and spending too much time on social media and video games, I too feel a little blurry-eyed and disoriented. But what about their incessant hum and perpetual noise? That is not me. OK, maybe I do make protein shakes with a noisy blender at all hours of the day. Maybe I do FaceTime vehemently with friends, blare music while I shower, and constantly kick a ball around both inside the house and out.

At least I do not leave damaged wings, shedded skin, or rotting carcasses everywhere. Smelly soccer socks on the clean carpet after a long practice? Check. Pools of turf in the mudroom after sliding all over the field? You got it. Dirty dishes and trail mix stains after accidentally sitting on a mislaid M&M are hardly as abhorrent as cicada remains, right?

The more I reflected, the more I realized these bugs and I are more alike than different. After 17 years of being cooped up, we are both antsy to face new experiences. Of course, cicadas want to broaden their wings, fly, and explore the world, even if it means clumsily colliding into people’s faces, telephone poles, and parked cars. Just like I want to shed my skin and escape to college, even if it means getting lost on campus or ruining a whole load of laundry. Despite all my newbie attributes, I am proceeding to the next phase of my life whether I am ready or not.

Only the hardiest of cicadas survive their emergence and make it to trees to mate, lay eggs, and ensure the existence of their species. I want to be a tenacious Brood X cicada. I will know what it means to travel into the wrong classroom before getting laughed at, bump into an upperclassman before dropping textbooks everywhere, fail an exam after thinking I aced it. I may even become the cicada of the lecture hall by asking a professor for permission to go to the bathroom. Like cicadas, I will need time to learn how to learn.

No matter what challenge I undergo that exposes and channels my inner-cicada, novice thought process, I will regroup and continue to soar toward the ultimate goal of thriving in college.

When I look beyond our beady red eyes, round-the-clock botherment, and messy trails, I now understand there is room for all creatures to grow, both cicadas and humans. Cicadas certainly are on to something ... Seventeen years is the perfect amount of time to emerge and get ready to fly.

Catherine “Cate” van den Beemt ’26

Freeland, md..

I was born to two moms. One, my biological mom, Meredith. One, my mom who adopted me, Mary. Because they were a same-sex couple, the law required that Mary adopt me in order to be my parent. They used Sperm Donor 3311. All I know about my “father” is that he didn’t have a familial history of cancer, he has a twin brother who is 6'4", and he studied math in school. This is all background information; I don’t even know his name. He doesn’t know mine, nor does he know that I even exist. People often ask “What does your father do for a living?” and I’m forced to respond “I actually have two moms,” triggering reactions like that of my driving instructor, “Oh, well that must be different.” I’m 17-years-old and still don’t know how to respond to these comments. 

When I was 5, Mary, who had been sick for a long time with leukemia, passed away, and my life was turned upside down. I was old enough to understand grief, and yet I still question why it happened. It was terrifying seeing my mom break down while saying, “Mom died last night.” I wonder what I missed out on and carry guilt that I don’t remember much about Mary, because we just didn’t have enough time together. Many say grief gets easier with time, however, I think the way you grieve just changes over time. 

The world kept spinning and, in 2011, my biological mom met another woman, who soon became my stepmom. However, to me, Kerry is also my mom. No longer do I reveal the fact that I have two moms; now I get reactions to the fact that I have three. 

Not knowing my father doesn’t leave a void in my life. “Dad” didn’t sing “there was an old lady who swallowed a fly” and tickle me when the old lady swallowed the spider, my moms did. He didn’t take me to Gunpowder Friends Meeting where I shook hands and spent time with 80-year-old friends from the retirement home, my moms did. He didn’t console me when I began crying at the dry-erase board at school because it reminded me of white boards Mom wrote on when she was unable to talk. He didn’t teach me that love is love. He didn’t teach me who I was becoming, my moms did that. 

I’ve never known my father or that I was supposed to have one , so why would I think my life is any different from the so-called “norm?” If there’s one thing I have learned from my parents, it’s that I have developed a love for difference. I openly accept all those around me and excitedly anticipate the relationships that I will build in my future. There is no such thing as a normal family structure, and my upbringing has given me that greater world view. My moms have raised me to believe that I can accomplish anything. There are still limits, though. My family chooses not to travel to Jamaica because we aren’t accepted there. Before each family vacation, we must research to see if it is a gay-friendly place. I don’t know the answers to questions about my dad’s side of the family. But I don’t let those kinds of things get to me because instead I can talk about the people who raised me. The world is changing as we speak. “Normal” is fading, but it has already disappeared for me. I don’t want anything different than the family I have, and I own that every day

Daniel “Deni” Galay ’26

London, england.

“The difference between an anti-personnel and an anti-tank mine is not that complicated,” I am told casually, in halting Russian, by a boy even younger than I am during a walk through the Chechen mountains. I am freshly 14 and visiting my father’s homeland for the first time, unfamiliar with the harsh realities that kids half my age already know ironclad. My guide points out the areas where the grass is overgrown and the fruit trees abundant. People and animals alike know to avoid them; someone has learned of landmines the hard way. It shouldn’t surprise me — the scars of war on this rugged country are omnipresent — but it is so jarringly different from my life in London that it is nevertheless hard to digest.

It also differs from my father’s rosy stories about his childhood in Katyr-Yurt, stories that made me wish to swim carefree in icy rivers, devour handfuls of fresh sour cherries straight from the tree, and see nights dense with stars. I still experience these beauties of place, but my eyes are now open to the less romanticized parts, both enriching and complicating my connection to my family’s past. Suddenly, too, I am made uncomfortably aware of the conflicting layers of my familial identity. It is the Russian of my Muscovite, Jewish mother that I grew up speaking at home. Yet the Chechen children speak in broken Russian, and the grownups who are more fluent in it are not keen to communicate in the enemy’s language. Seeing the ugly scars of war, both physical and psychological, I cannot help but feel like an intruder, ashamed not only of my Russianness but also of my city-boy naivete. Despite this shame, I yearn to discover what it means to be Chechen, to see their home through their eyes, and through this desire, I begin to feel a deep connection all of my own to this beautiful, fraught land. 

In Moscow, my new awareness of conflicting identities only intensifies, but now on account of the maternal side of my heritage. Relatives there largely see Chechens as terrorists and raise an eyebrow when they hear where I have spent my summer. Babushka’s neighbour, a nurse who witnessed the carnage from the theatre siege in Moscow, turns away disgustedly when she overhears me relate the beauty of the mountains and the notable generosity of the people. Once again, I register the fear and distrust of “the other” that reigns in the more homogeneous cultures in Russia, making me appreciate the diversity of London all the more. 

When I return there, I cannot slip back into life as normal as I have done after past summers. I find myself pondering the question of identity and the way people interpret their own past, informed just as much by collective emotion and memory as by fact. The cosmopolitanism of London is just as I remembered it, but the things I loved about it I now see in a new light. I had always revelled in the fact that, despite our differences in heritage, my peers and I had seen each other as the same — bound together by being Londoners first and foremost. Now I am interested in conversations that I would never have considered previously, wanting not only to share my newfound experiences but also learn about the personal histories of my friends, many of whom, like me, are the children of immigrants to the UK. When did they come to explore and interrogate their own complicated identities? How did these discoveries make them feel? What does it mean to carry the stories, the poetry, and the pain of so many places within them? Questions like these, which were so important for me to answer about myself, also became a powerful place from which to understand more deeply the people around me and the complex world we share.

Zachary Yasinov ’26

Syosset, n.y..

I know that I had prepared well for this moment. For two arduous months, I readied my fingers for an exciting concert. No anxiety could undermine my confidence in my preparation, and my piano recital’s success was “in the bag.” I selected three pieces for my repertoire: the ambience of Erik Satie’s Gymnopedie No. 1 as the opener, a somber contemplation of Beethoven’s First Movement of the Moonlight Sonata , and Bach’s light and surreal Prelude in C Major for the conclusion.

My shining moment arrived, and I strode purposefully toward the piano. The building in which my performance was held was new, but its dwellers were old. Respect and prestige permeated the atmosphere as I took each stride to my seat. As I sat down, the chair creaked and moaned as if in sympathy with the audience’s aching desire to hear me play. I prepared my sheet music and commenced my epic moment.

Never was such an exhilarating performance heard. All of the little techniques and tricks that I practiced were executed perfectly. I captured the dynamics I wanted to express in Satie’s phonological experiment with each chord to which I applied varying pressure. Moving onto one of Beethoven’s most famous works, I crafted the cascading arpeggios of each new chord, which resonated unity uninterrupted in me and in the audience. When I concluded with the airy prelude from Bach’s Well-Tempered Clavier , the room swelled with bliss. Having poured my heart and soul into each piece, I beamed with pride.

As customary for a stellar show, I rose to bow to the audience to thank them for their eruption of applause. Flowers were thrown, cheers elicited, and standing ovations bestowed. From the subsiding din came a faint question to rain on my parade: “Could you play something more lively, darling, say, a Neil Diamond song?”

I work on weekends at a long-term-care facility, and my geriatric audience, although a pleasure with whom to interact, can be brutally honest. Begrudgingly, I thanked Mrs. Hersch for her request, promised her better next time, and stewed in my own irrelevance. Going home that day, my feathers were ruffled. How could any civilized listener, after such a superb medley, disregard such time-honored compositions? The notion was absurd.

Yet perhaps more outlandish, as I later acknowledged, was my visceral reaction to the events that had transpired. Why did I react hesitantly to a simple request made in earnestness? It would have been easier, in fact, to practice “Sweet Caroline” than to break my fingers over Beethoven’s work. Then, in my moments of introspection, I concluded that my choice of musical pieces mattered little as long as my audience enjoyed them. Whether it meant recreating the most tortured and heinously composed pop song or a masterfully crafted Romantic concerto, I vowed to play them all.

Throughout my life, my adult mentors have succored me with platitudes when most needed, which laid the foundation for my confidence. Yet, while working with people who have lived five times longer than I have, experiencing so much more than I can imagine, I know that the world does not revolve around my tastes and interests. I’m okay with that. Thus, for a couple of hours each day in the living room, unlucky family members passing by are subjected to the torment of my tenth run-through of “Sweet Caroline” as I prepare for my next recital for an audience that has taught me more about personal preferences, and myself, than I anticipated.

Katherine “Katy” Appleman ’26

Pittsburgh, pa..

I have never felt such palpable emotion, such profound grief emanating from a space, as I did while hiking through the forest fire scorch in Philmont, New Mexico. A universe had once existed under the protection of these Ponderosa Pine, now black and crusted, turning brittle in the wind. It was a landscape that didn’t sing its laments, but whispered of its loss through every pile of scalded timber and skinny, wavering shadow cast by the hollow towers of ash.

I felt prepared when I made the decision to become a scout. I love nature and camping. I love the Scouts BSA program. I love the people. I was definitely not prepared, however, for the numerous challenges I would face during my years as a scout.

I was the first female “boy scout” in my town, which continues to be both my greatest honor and a constant reminder of the isolation and insecurity that comes with being any “first.” I became a symbol, whether for good or bad, and my actions not only spoke of me, but of the future young women in Scouts BSA. I felt like an imposter.

I wasn’t a strong-willed leader like those who usually have “first” stitched into their title. My seventh-grade acting career did little to veil a shy and insecure girl who crumbled at overheard comments on how I didn’t belong or how girls like me were poisoning BSA’s spirit. As time passed, I found myself waiting to develop the toughened heart that the leaders that I knew held. As my troop and I backpacked in Philmont Scout Ranch this past summer, my doubts and insecurities seemed to echo from this inky forest.

Coming from Pittsburgh, I had expected the kind of desert with raspy air and coat hanger cacti. Nothing quite shattered this expectation as much as putting on my last pair of dry socks before the fourth day of downpours. We navigated steep cliffs and vibrant meadows, and pulled ourselves up peak after peak. As the sun set on one of our final evenings, the flat, mountain-ornamented horizon gave way to a modest footpath, daring into a new forest. This forest, differing from the field of burnt pines we had seen prior, had burned several decades ago. The fire had cleared everything and had left its signature singed onto the bottom 10 feet of every tree. The forest floor was clean. Wild grasses with accents of purple and blue flowers blanketed the ground below the pines like snow, which had fallen while the world was asleep, completely untouched and extending to infinity. Above the burnt limbs of the trees, thick bundles of green needles soared into the sky.

Not long after Philmont, I was awarded my Eagle Rank, the culmination of my experience as a scout. I believe that my time in Scouts BSA has been the first to the forest that is my life. Though scars remain from my experience, new change and strength have flourished out of the damage.

I have come to the conclusion that it is not always the fierce leader who becomes a “first.” It is the extra hours. It is finding a way to listen to criticism and try harder, rather than feel the thorns. It is using one’s own feeling of isolation to see others who feel alone. It is the act of going through the fire and staying with it, allowing it to advance you, which changes people who dare to be a “first” into the leaders that they go down in history as being.

As I think back on my experience in Philmont, the first forest we saw, this blackened graveyard, is what I picture. I remember the charcoaled ground so vividly, but more so, I remember the soft purple wildflowers hidden in the desert soil. Though few and far between, against the grieving timber, they were stars.

Claire Lazar ’26

New york, n.y..

I’m 6. The sounds of hornpipe and laughter drift across the gymnasium-turned-cafeteria-turned-auditorium. Mum caught me dancing to some of her old Irish tapes — the Chieftains, Sinead O’Connor. She asked me if I wanted to do it for real. I said sure and went back to dancing. Now a freckled woman digs around in a cardboard box and pulls out a pair of dusty, worn black shoes. “Don’t worry,” she says, “you’ll learn eventually.” The shoes are too big; they sag at the toes. I approach the stage. Twenty-five pairs of eyes fix on me. In a room bustling with motion, everything stands still. It doesn’t matter that I feel like a clown in an ill-fitting costume. All that matters is the dancing.

I’m 9. I sit in the hallway of the Times Square Marriott watching girls in big wigs and sparkly dresses run around, squawking like glamorous, unhinged chickens. In my tartan skirt and simple bun, I feel like an ugly duckling. The bobby pins dutifully securing my bun in place make my scalp ache. My hands slide to my shoes. They’re too tight. Mum put them on her feet to “try and stretch them out a little.” I pass some over-enthusiastic dance moms who put the “mother” in “smother.” I reach the stage. A hundred pairs of eyes fix on me. In a hotel bustling with motion, everything stands still. It doesn’t matter that I’m out of place. All that matters is the dancing.

I’m 12. My brain won’t stop flipping through disastrous scenarios as I stand with my teammates in a hotel in Orlando, Florida. We’ve trained for months, sacrificed everything for this moment. I try to think of happy things: the pride on Dad’s face when he watches me dance, the freedom of flying across a stage on invisible wings. We recite our steps like a poem, the sequences like a song that carries us through an ocean of fiddles, pipes, and drums. My parents sacrificed a lot to send me here. I want to make them proud. I want to make myself proud. We approach the national stage. A thousand pairs of eyes fix on me. In a world bustling with motion, everything stands still. It doesn’t matter that I feel like a fraud. All that matters is the dancing.

I’m 15. An Irish accent lilts through the ballroom of the World Championships. It sounds like mashed potatoes and Sunday bests and the green hills of home that I know so well. We mutter a prayer. I’m not sure I believe in God, though I should. I look at my partner and wish we were more than friends. She smiles. I don’t think God believes in me. We ascend the stage. A million pairs of eyes fix on me. In a universe bustling with motion, everything stands still. It doesn’t matter that I’ll never be enough. All that matters is the dancing.

I’ll be 18. Murmuring voices will hover in the air of the gymnasium-turned-cafeteria-turned-auditorium. A little girl will approach me timidly, wearing a very old tartan skirt. I’ll reach out softly, adjusting her bun to soothe her aching scalp. Then, I’ll slide my hands toward her feet, toward a pair of small, dusty shoes. “You’ll learn,” I’ll say. They’ll sag at the toes, but I’ll reassure her: “Don’t worry. You’ll grow into them.” Then, she and I will look at my own beloved shoes. They’ll be worn, but I’ll tell her the creases are like a map, evidence of the places I’ve been, the heartbreaks I’ve suffered, the joy I’ve danced. My life is in these shoes. We’ll hear the music begin to play, the tide of fiddles, and pipes, and drums. I’ll take her hand and, with a deep breath, we’ll climb the stage. “Ahd mor.” It won’t matter that this is the end. All that has ever mattered is the dancing.

Katherine “Kat” Showalter ’26

Los altos, calif..

The black void descends toward the young girl standing in the grassy field. It slowly creeps up on her, and as it reaches for her perfectly white dress … Swipe . I quickly wipe away the paint without a thought except for panic. Before I realize what I have done, the black droop becomes an ugly smear of black paint. The peaceful picture of the girl standing in the meadow is nowhere to be seen. Even though I successfully avoid having the spilled paint touch the dress, all I can focus on is the black smudge. The stupid black smudge . As I continue to stare at the enemy in front of me, I hear Bob Ross’s annoyingly cheerful voice in my head: “There are no mistakes, only happy accidents.” At this moment, I completely disagree. There is nothing happy about this, only frustration.

Actually, there is one other emotion: excitement . Don’t get me wrong; I’m not excited about making a mistake and definitely not happy about the accident. But I am thrilled at the challenge. The black smudge is taunting me, challenging me to fix the painting that took me hours to do. It is my opponent, and I am not planning to back off, not planning to lose.

Looking back at the painting, I refuse to see only the black smudge. If lacrosse has taught me one thing, it is that I will not be bested by my mistakes. I snatch my picture and run downstairs, carefully setting it against the living room window. The TV newscaster drones in the background, “California continues to be engulfed in flames as the fires continue to burn.” I slowly step back from my painting. California fires , I think, as I look up into the blood-orange sky. California Fires! I look at the painting, imagining the black smudge not as a black void, but smoke creeping up on the girl as she watches the meadow burn.

I grab my painting and run back to my room. The orange sky casts eerie shadows as I throw open my blinds. My hands reach first toward the reds, oranges, and yellows: reds as rich as blood; oranges as beautiful as California poppies; yellows as bright as the sun. I splatter them on my palette, making a beautiful assortment of colors that reminds me of one thing: fire. A rich, beautiful, bright thing, but at the same time, dangerous. My hand levitates toward the white and black. White, my ally: peaceful, wonderful, simple white . Black, my enemy: annoying, frustrating, chaotic black . I splat both of them onto a different palette as I create different shades of gray.

My brush first dips into red, orange, and yellow as I create the flame around the girl. The flame engulfs the meadow, each stroke of red covering the serene nature. Next is the smoke, I sponge the dull colors onto the canvas, hazing over the fire and the trees, and, most importantly, hiding the smudge.

But it doesn’t work. It just looks like more blobs to cover the black smudge. What could make the gray paint turn into the hazy clouds that I have been experiencing for the past several days? I crack my knuckles in habit, and that’s when a new idea pops into my head. My calloused fingers dip into the cold, slimy gray paint, which slowly warms as I rub it between my fingers. My fingers descend onto the canvas, and as they brush against the fabric, I can feel the roughness of the dried paint as I add the new layer. As I work, the tension from my body releases. With each stroke of my fingers, I see what used to be the blobs turn into the thing that has kept me inside my house for weeks. As I lift my last finger off the canvas, I step back and gaze at my new creation. I have won.

These essays were published in the Fall 2022  Hamilton magazine and illustrated by Andrew Vickery. These essays follow four similar collections from the Class of 2022 ,  Class of 2018 , Class of 2012 , and Class of 2007 .

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• Copy URL https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/fact-checking-warnings-from-democrats-about-project-2025-and-donald-trump

Fact-checking warnings from Democrats about Project 2025 and Donald Trump

This fact check originally appeared on PolitiFact .

Project 2025 has a starring role in this week’s Democratic National Convention.

And it was front and center on Night 1.

WATCH: Hauling large copy of Project 2025, Michigan state Sen. McMorrow speaks at 2024 DNC

“This is Project 2025,” Michigan state Sen. Mallory McMorrow, D-Royal Oak, said as she laid a hardbound copy of the 900-page document on the lectern. “Over the next four nights, you are going to hear a lot about what is in this 900-page document. Why? Because this is the Republican blueprint for a second Trump term.”

Vice President Kamala Harris, the Democratic presidential nominee, has warned Americans about “Trump’s Project 2025” agenda — even though former President Donald Trump doesn’t claim the conservative presidential transition document.

“Donald Trump wants to take our country backward,” Harris said July 23 in Milwaukee. “He and his extreme Project 2025 agenda will weaken the middle class. Like, we know we got to take this seriously, and can you believe they put that thing in writing?”

Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz, Harris’ running mate, has joined in on the talking point.

“Don’t believe (Trump) when he’s playing dumb about this Project 2025. He knows exactly what it’ll do,” Walz said Aug. 9 in Glendale, Arizona.

Trump’s campaign has worked to build distance from the project, which the Heritage Foundation, a conservative think tank, led with contributions from dozens of conservative groups.

Much of the plan calls for extensive executive-branch overhauls and draws on both long-standing conservative principles, such as tax cuts, and more recent culture war issues. It lays out recommendations for disbanding the Commerce and Education departments, eliminating certain climate protections and consolidating more power to the president.

Project 2025 offers a sweeping vision for a Republican-led executive branch, and some of its policies mirror Trump’s 2024 agenda, But Harris and her presidential campaign have at times gone too far in describing what the project calls for and how closely the plans overlap with Trump’s campaign.

PolitiFact researched Harris’ warnings about how the plan would affect reproductive rights, federal entitlement programs and education, just as we did for President Joe Biden’s Project 2025 rhetoric. Here’s what the project does and doesn’t call for, and how it squares with Trump’s positions.

Are Trump and Project 2025 connected?

To distance himself from Project 2025 amid the Democratic attacks, Trump wrote on Truth Social that he “knows nothing” about it and has “no idea” who is in charge of it. (CNN identified at least 140 former advisers from the Trump administration who have been involved.)

The Heritage Foundation sought contributions from more than 100 conservative organizations for its policy vision for the next Republican presidency, which was published in 2023.

Project 2025 is now winding down some of its policy operations, and director Paul Dans, a former Trump administration official, is stepping down, The Washington Post reported July 30. Trump campaign managers Susie Wiles and Chris LaCivita denounced the document.

WATCH: A look at the Project 2025 plan to reshape government and Trump’s links to its authors

However, Project 2025 contributors include a number of high-ranking officials from Trump’s first administration, including former White House adviser Peter Navarro and former Housing and Urban Development Secretary Ben Carson.

A recently released recording of Russell Vought, a Project 2025 author and the former director of Trump’s Office of Management and Budget, showed Vought saying Trump’s “very supportive of what we do.” He said Trump was only distancing himself because Democrats were making a bogeyman out of the document.

Project 2025 wouldn’t ban abortion outright, but would curtail access

The Harris campaign shared a graphic on X that claimed “Trump’s Project 2025 plan for workers” would “go after birth control and ban abortion nationwide.”

The plan doesn’t call to ban abortion nationwide, though its recommendations could curtail some contraceptives and limit abortion access.

What’s known about Trump’s abortion agenda neither lines up with Harris’ description nor Project 2025’s wish list.

Project 2025 says the Department of Health and Human Services Department should “return to being known as the Department of Life by explicitly rejecting the notion that abortion is health care.”

It recommends that the Food and Drug Administration reverse its 2000 approval of mifepristone, the first pill taken in a two-drug regimen for a medication abortion. Medication is the most common form of abortion in the U.S. — accounting for around 63 percent in 2023.

If mifepristone were to remain approved, Project 2025 recommends new rules, such as cutting its use from 10 weeks into pregnancy to seven. It would have to be provided to patients in person — part of the group’s efforts to limit access to the drug by mail. In June, the U.S. Supreme Court rejected a legal challenge to mifepristone’s FDA approval over procedural grounds.

WATCH: Trump’s plans for health care and reproductive rights if he returns to White House The manual also calls for the Justice Department to enforce the 1873 Comstock Act on mifepristone, which bans the mailing of “obscene” materials. Abortion access supporters fear that a strict interpretation of the law could go further to ban mailing the materials used in procedural abortions, such as surgical instruments and equipment.

The plan proposes withholding federal money from states that don’t report to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention how many abortions take place within their borders. The plan also would prohibit abortion providers, such as Planned Parenthood, from receiving Medicaid funds. It also calls for the Department of Health and Human Services to ensure that the training of medical professionals, including doctors and nurses, omits abortion training.

The document says some forms of emergency contraception — particularly Ella, a pill that can be taken within five days of unprotected sex to prevent pregnancy — should be excluded from no-cost coverage. The Affordable Care Act requires most private health insurers to cover recommended preventive services, which involves a range of birth control methods, including emergency contraception.

Trump has recently said states should decide abortion regulations and that he wouldn’t block access to contraceptives. Trump said during his June 27 debate with Biden that he wouldn’t ban mifepristone after the Supreme Court “approved” it. But the court rejected the lawsuit based on standing, not the case’s merits. He has not weighed in on the Comstock Act or said whether he supports it being used to block abortion medication, or other kinds of abortions.

Project 2025 doesn’t call for cutting Social Security, but proposes some changes to Medicare

“When you read (Project 2025),” Harris told a crowd July 23 in Wisconsin, “you will see, Donald Trump intends to cut Social Security and Medicare.”

The Project 2025 document does not call for Social Security cuts. None of its 10 references to Social Security addresses plans for cutting the program.

Harris also misleads about Trump’s Social Security views.

In his earlier campaigns and before he was a politician, Trump said about a half-dozen times that he’s open to major overhauls of Social Security, including cuts and privatization. More recently, in a March 2024 CNBC interview, Trump said of entitlement programs such as Social Security, “There’s a lot you can do in terms of entitlements, in terms of cutting.” However, he quickly walked that statement back, and his CNBC comment stands at odds with essentially everything else Trump has said during the 2024 presidential campaign.

Trump’s campaign website says that not “a single penny” should be cut from Social Security. We rated Harris’ claim that Trump intends to cut Social Security Mostly False.

Project 2025 does propose changes to Medicare, including making Medicare Advantage, the private insurance offering in Medicare, the “default” enrollment option. Unlike Original Medicare, Medicare Advantage plans have provider networks and can also require prior authorization, meaning that the plan can approve or deny certain services. Original Medicare plans don’t have prior authorization requirements.

The manual also calls for repealing health policies enacted under Biden, such as the Inflation Reduction Act. The law enabled Medicare to negotiate with drugmakers for the first time in history, and recently resulted in an agreement with drug companies to lower the prices of 10 expensive prescriptions for Medicare enrollees.

Trump, however, has said repeatedly during the 2024 presidential campaign that he will not cut Medicare.

Project 2025 would eliminate the Education Department, which Trump supports

The Harris campaign said Project 2025 would “eliminate the U.S. Department of Education” — and that’s accurate. Project 2025 says federal education policy “should be limited and, ultimately, the federal Department of Education should be eliminated.” The plan scales back the federal government’s role in education policy and devolves the functions that remain to other agencies.

Aside from eliminating the department, the project also proposes scrapping the Biden administration’s Title IX revision, which prohibits discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity. It also would let states opt out of federal education programs and calls for passing a federal parents’ bill of rights similar to ones passed in some Republican-led state legislatures.

Republicans, including Trump, have pledged to close the department, which gained its status in 1979 within Democratic President Jimmy Carter’s presidential Cabinet.

In one of his Agenda 47 policy videos, Trump promised to close the department and “to send all education work and needs back to the states.” Eliminating the department would have to go through Congress.

What Project 2025, Trump would do on overtime pay

In the graphic, the Harris campaign says Project 2025 allows “employers to stop paying workers for overtime work.”

The plan doesn’t call for banning overtime wages. It recommends changes to some Occupational Safety and Health Administration, or OSHA, regulations and to overtime rules. Some changes, if enacted, could result in some people losing overtime protections, experts told us.

The document proposes that the Labor Department maintain an overtime threshold “that does not punish businesses in lower-cost regions (e.g., the southeast United States).” This threshold is the amount of money executive, administrative or professional employees need to make for an employer to exempt them from overtime pay under the Fair Labor Standards Act.

In 2019, the Trump’s administration finalized a rule that expanded overtime pay eligibility to most salaried workers earning less than about $35,568, which it said made about 1.3 million more workers eligible for overtime pay. The Trump-era threshold is high enough to cover most line workers in lower-cost regions, Project 2025 said.

The Biden administration raised that threshold to $43,888 beginning July 1, and that will rise to $58,656 on Jan. 1, 2025. That would grant overtime eligibility to about 4 million workers, the Labor Department said.

It’s unclear how many workers Project 2025’s proposal to return to the Trump-era overtime threshold in some parts of the country would affect, but experts said some would presumably lose the right to overtime wages.

Other overtime proposals in Project 2025’s plan include allowing some workers to choose to accumulate paid time off instead of overtime pay, or to work more hours in one week and fewer in the next, rather than receive overtime.

Trump’s past with overtime pay is complicated. In 2016, the Obama administration said it would raise the overtime to salaried workers earning less than $47,476 a year, about double the exemption level set in 2004 of $23,660 a year.

But when a judge blocked the Obama rule, the Trump administration didn’t challenge the court ruling. Instead it set its own overtime threshold, which raised the amount, but by less than Obama.

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Essay Examples 20 Personal Statement Examples That Stand Out + Why They Work

This is your ultimate list of Personal Statement examples.

In this post, you'll learn:

• What makes a successful Personal Statement
• How to write an irresistible Personal Statement
• Ivy League personal essay examples

If you're looking to read and write Personal Statement essays, you've found the right place.

In this post, I'm going to share everything you need to go from zero to having a Personal Statement essay you can be proud of.

This guide will help you get started writing an engaging Personal Statement essay. Or if you already have one, how to make it even better.

What is a Personal Statement Essay?

A personal statement, also called a statement of purpose (SOP) or personal essay, is a piece of creative, personal writing.

The purpose of your personal statement is to express yourself and your ideas. Personal statements usually aren't piece of formal writing, but still should be thoughtful and planned out.

Many applications for colleges, graduate schools, and scholarships require you to write a personal statement.

How to Write a Personal Statement Essay

While there are no rules or guidelines for writing a personal statement, the best ones often have these in common:

Have Strong Ideas:

Having compelling and interesting ideas shows you are a strong thinker.

It isn't necessarily about having all the answers, but asking the right questions.

For personal statement essays, the quality of your ideas matters more than your writing level. Writing interestingly is more important than writing beautifully.

I’ve stopped tripping over my own feet, and it’s led to me not being afraid to connect and interact with patients and customers or present in front of large crowds. Life is just one long Carioca – you might stumble at first, but if you keep pushing, the right feet will find themselves in the right place. From an accepted essay to UNC at Chapel Hill →

Be Authentic

Writing authentic essays means writing from the heart.

The best personal statements tend to come naturally, because the writer is excited about the topic.

Choose an idea that makes you feel excited to write about and start writing.

As you begin drafting, ideas will naturally arise related to your original idea. Exploring these tangential ideas is what leads to even better reflections for your essay.

That's why it's so important to be genuinely passionate about your subject. You can't just have an interest "in the topic," but there has to be something deeper you're writing about that moves you.

Use Narratives and Story-Telling:

Humans are naturally drawn to stories.

And often the best insights and ideas come from real life experiences.

Telling a story, or many, is the basis for developing your analysis and ideas. Remember, all stories need conflict in order to work.

It can help to think about the different types of conflict.

• Character vs. Self
• Character vs. Character
• Character vs. Nature
• Character vs. Society

And so on...

Once you've written a meaningful story, getting insights is as simple as answering the question: What did your experiences teach you?

The sounds of my knife striking kale unnerves my cat asleep in the corner. He quickly runs over to examine the situation but becomes instantly uninterested when he sees green and smells bitterness. Unfortunately, my family has this same reaction every day of every week. From an accepted essay to University of Southern California →

Showcase Your Values and Identity:

The purpose of a personal statement is to tell about who you are.

Personal statements are your opportunity to showcase what your values are, and how you would contribute to the school, scholarship opportunity, etc.

Good writers are those who write authentically. Write about your unique ideas and ask interesting questions, even if you don't know the answers.

How Long Should a Personal Statement Be?

A typical personal statement can range in length from 500 to 650 words or more.

For applying to colleges, the Common Application essay personal statement has a word limit of 650 words.

For graduate school programs, the application essay will vary in length, but most schools require a personal statement essay of at least 500 words.

20 Personal Statement Essays That Worked

It can be difficult to understand what makes a great essay without seeing some for yourself.

Here's 20 of our favorite personal statement essays that we've chosen for being unique and high-quality.

There essays were all accepted into some of the most selective schools. And while it isn't the only factor in admissions that matters, having outstanding essays can help tip the scales in your favor.

Table of Contents

Prompt: Background, Identity, or Interest

• 1. Uncomfortable Truths
• 2. Romanian Heritage
• 3. Film and Theater
• 4. Person of the Woods
• 5. Beautiful Walks

Prompt: Lessons from Obstacles

• 6. My Father
• 7. Self-Determination
• 8. Game Design Music
• 9. Speech and Debate

Prompt: Questioned or Challenged a Belief

• 10. Finding Answers

Prompt: Accomplishment, Event, or Realization

• 11. Connecting with Others
• 12. Summer Confidence
• 13. First Impressions
• 14. Law Career
• 15. Growing Up Asian

Prompt: Engaging Topic, Idea, or Concept

• 16. Secrets of Riddles
• 17. Rubik's Cube
• 18. Narrative Diversity

Prompt: Any Topic of Your Choice

• 19. Search for Dreams
• 20. Recipe for Success

Personal Statement Example #1: Uncomfortable Truths

This is a personal statement that worked for Princeton . It is outstanding for many reasons, but most of all because of its ideas and the thoughtfulness put into organizing them.

Common App Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 words)

Why This Essay Works:

Having a unifying idea is key to successful personal statements. Find your deepest idea or realization and focus your essay around that.

Find a way to showcase your achievements while connecting to broader, more universal ideas.

Connecting your ending to your beginning is a powerful way to bring your essay full circle. A great conclusion expands on your ideas introduced earlier, while leaving some room for more to be said.

Learn the Secrets of Successful Top-20 Applications

Join 4,000+ students and parents that already receive our 5-minute free newsletter , packed with T-20 essay examples, writing tips & tricks, and step-by-step guides.

Personal Statement Example #2: Film and Theater

This student's essay was accepted to USC , among other top schools. It's topic is seemingly simple—taking walks—but the author brilliantly shows how even in the mundane there can be meaningful reflections.

This essay has lots of moments where the author's character comes across vividly. By using conversational language and interjections like "I want to—no, need—to...", the author has a clear "voice" and you can easily imagine them as if they were speaking directly to you. This student also showcases self-awareness and a sense of humor, by using slightly self-deprecating phrases like "some chubby, nerdy girl" and by recognizing how the social approval of sitting with the "popular girls" was enthralling at the time. Self-awareness is a highly valuable trait to portray, because it shows that you're able to reflect on both your strengths and weaknesses, which is a skill needed to be able to grow and develop.

This author manages to tie in their activity of producing films and reference them specifically ("Cardboard Castles") by connecting them to their main point. Instead of listing their activities or referencing them out-of-the-blue, they show how these accomplishments are perfect examples of a greater message. In this case, that message is how meaningful it is to connect with others through storytelling. To write about your activities and achievements without seeming arbitrary or boastful, make them have a specific purpose in your essay: connect to a value, idea, or use them as examples to show something.

In the intro of this essay, there are some descriptions that seem fiction-like and are ultimately unimportant to the main idea. Sentences that describe Mrs. Brewer's appearance or phrases describing how their teacher stood up after talking to them ultimately don't contribute to the story. Although these provide "context," the only context that admissions are interested in is context and details which have a purpose. Avoid writing like fiction books, which describe all the characters and settings, and instead only describe exactly what is needed to "go somewhere" in your essay.

What They Might Improve:

This essay has a strong hook which captivates the reader by making them ask a question: "What are these lunch-time horror stories?" By sparking the reader's imagination early on, you can draw them into your writing and be more engaged. However, ultimately this is somewhat of a letdown because these intriguing "lunch-time horror stories" are never described. Although it may not be completely necessary for the main point, describing one example or hinting at it more closely would be satisfying for the reader and still connect to the main idea of storytelling. One idea is to replace the conclusion with a reference to these "lunch-time horror stories" more vividly, which would be a satisfying ending that also could connect to filmmaking and storytelling. In general, anticipate what the reader will be looking for, and either use that expectation to your advantage by subverting it, or give them what they want as a satisfying, meaningful conclusion.

Although this conclusion could work as is, it could be stronger by seeming less arbitrary and less "fancy for fancy sake." Often, a good strategy is to connect your conclusion to something earlier in your essay such as your introduction or specific wording that you used throughout. In this essay, it could work much better to end by revealing one of those "lunch-time horror stories" in a way that also emphasizes their main point: how storytelling is a powerful tool to connect people.

Personal Statement Example #3: Romanian Heritage

This personal statement worked for UMichigan , among many other top schools like MIT, Rice, UNC at Chapel Hill , University of Pittsburgh, UW Madison, and more.

This author is able to vividly bring you into their world using cultural references and descriptive writing. You can practically taste and smell Buni's kitchen through her words.

This essay starts off by posing a challenge, which is typical of essays. But rather than showing how they overcame this particular challenge of speaking Romanian without an accent, this reader shows how something unexpected—baking—came to satisfy what was missing all along. By the end, this creates a conclusion that is both surprising, connected to the beginning, and makes perfect sense once you've read it. In other words, the conclusion is inevitable, but also surprising in content.

This student uses Romanian words to help exemplify the culture and language. If you're writing about a culture, using foreign language words can be a compelling way of adding depth to your essay. By including specific terms like "muni" and "cornulete," it shows a depth of knowledge which cannot be faked. Always use specific, tangible language where possible, because it is "evidence" that you know what you're talking about.

This student exhibits strong self-awareness by noting characteristics about themself, even some which may not be the most glamorous ("can be overbearing at times, stubborn in the face of offered help"). Rather than telling the reader flat out about these personal attributes, they are able to discuss them by connecting to another person—their grandmother Buni. Using another person to showcase your own character (through comparison or contrast) is a literary "foil," which can be an effective way of showing your character without stating it outright, which generally is boring and less convincing.

This student doesn't focus on surface-level ideas like "how they got better at speaking Romanian." Instead, they reflect in a creative way by connecting the Romanian language to baking. Revealing unseen connections between topics is a great way to show that you're a thoughtful and clever thinker. Ultimately, having unique ideas that are specific to you is what will create a compelling essay, and this essay is a perfect example of what that could look like.

Personal Statement Example #4: Person of the Woods

This essay was accepted into Dartmouth College . It is a brilliant example of showing how any experience, even those which originally may have been unpleasant, can be the topic of meaningful reflection.

Using visuals, like descriptions of scenarios and environments, can help bring the reader into your world. However, make sure that all of your descriptions are relevant to your main point, or else they could be distracting. For example, in this essay it would be unnecessary to describe what they're wearing or the appearance of canoes, but it makes sense to describe the nature as it relates to the main topic.

People are not isolated units. Instead, everyone depends on and is defined by those around them. By showing how you relate and connect with other people, you can provide insights into your character. In this essay, the student does a great job of delving into their strong friendships, particularly what they've learned from their friends.

Admissions officers love to see self-growth. Showing how your perspective on something has changed (in this case, how they went from disliking to loving an activity) conveys a development of your character. Ask yourself: what preconceived notions did I have before, and how did they change? This student reflects in a humble way, by first emphasizing what they've learned from others, before offering up what they might have contributed themselves. Always try to have a tone of gratitude in your essays because it makes you more likeable and shows strong character.

Personal Statement Example #5: Beautiful Walks

Personal Statement Example #6: My Father's Death

This personal statement was admitted to Michigan in recent years. It is an outstanding example of how you can write about topics that are often cliché if done poorly, such as the death of a family member.

But unlike other essays, this one works because it has a unique take and genuine approach to the topic that makes it come off as heartfelt.

Common App Prompt #2: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (250-650 words)

Writing about a tragedy like a loss of a parent is a tricky topic for college essays. Many students feel obligated to choose that topic if it applies to them, but it can be challenging to not come across as trying to garner sympathy ("sob story"). This student does a graceful job of focusing on positive elements from their father's legacy, particularly the inspiration they draw from him.

This student does a great job of connecting their educational and career aspirations to their background. Admissions officers want to understand why you're pursing what you are, and by explaining the origin of your interests, you can have compelling and genuine reasons why.

In this essay, the student writes from their hypothetical perspective as an infant. This doesn't quite work because they likely wouldn't remember these moments ("I have no conscious memories of him"), but still writes as though they do. By writing about things you haven't seen or experienced yourself, it can come across as "made up" or inauthentic.

Personal Statement Example #7: Self-Determination

Some of the best essay topics are dealing with challenges you've faced, because difficulties make it easier to reflect upon what you've learned. Admissions officers ultimately are looking for self-growth, and showing how you've handled personal challenges can demonstrate your new understandings as a result. However, avoid talking about "tragedy" or difficulty without a clear purpose. Don't write about it because you think "you should," only write about challenges if they are true to yourself and you have something meaningful and unique to say about them. Otherwise, it can come off as trying to garner sympathy (i.e. "sob stories") which admissions officers generally dislike.

More convincing than telling admissions officers, is presenting them with "evidence" and allowing them to come to the conclusion themselves. If you want to show the idea "I couldn't learn due to this condition," it is far more effective to do what this student did and say, "I'd just finished learning complex trig identities, and I now couldn't even count to ten." When drafting, it is normal and okay to start off with more "telling" as you get your ideas on paper. But as your essay progresses, you should transform those moments of "telling" into more powerful and convincing moments of "showing."

Having meaningful reflections is a critical part of having compelling essays. But make sure your takeaways are not surface-level or generic. Each admissions officer has likely read thousands of essays, so they are well aware of the common ideas and tropes. Avoid cliché ideas at all costs, because it comes across as forgettable and unoriginal. Instead, it is okay to start with surface-level ideas, but keep asking yourself probing questions like "Why" and "How" to push your ideas deeper.

This essay tells a nice story of overcoming their physical impediment, but ultimately lacks meaningful reflections in the conclusion. Too much time is spent on "the problem" and not enough on how they overcame it. Your conclusion should have your best, most compelling ideas in your entire essay. Try ending your essay by connecting to the beginning with a new perspective, expanding on your idea with a new takeaway, or connecting to broader, more universal themes. Avoid having a conclusion that "sounds nice," but ultimately is lacking in meaningful content.

Personal Statement Example #8: Game Design Music

This essay was admitted into Cornell University . It discusses a common conflict of ideology that comes with pursuing the arts. What the author does brilliantly is show how that conflict was reconciled, as well as how it changed their perspective.

My mom used to tell me this a lot. She’d always disapproved of my passion for the arts.

In this essay, the author does a fantastic job of showing how they are thoughtful in considering the perspectives of others, even though they may disagree. Showing that you can entertain ideas that you may disagree with is an admirable trait that admissions officers love to see, because intellectual discussion is all about trying to see other people's views. When writing about things that you may disagree with, try to play devil's advocate and see things from their point of view. Doing so will make you come off as thoughtful, understanding, and inquisitive, and it will strengthen your own viewpoint if you can identify arguments against it.

The best essays help admissions officers understand how you think about things. One strategy is to offer up questions to explore. These can be questions that arose during a particular moment or questions that you're reflecting upon right now. By using questions in your essay, you'll also present yourself as a thoughtful and curious thinker. Ultimately, you want to help the reader see things from your perspective by showing your thought process.

A good starting place for reflection can be in comparing and contrasting different topics. This could finding the similarities and differences in an extracurricular and an academic class, or any other number of things. By finding the similarities in things often thought of as "opposing," or finding the differences in things thought of as "similar," you can get to interesting ideas. Comparisons are useful because they force you to think from a different viewpoint. For example in this essay: How does "programming" relate to "song lyrics"?

This essay ends on a note that feels somewhat off-topic and not as interesting as their main idea. The conclusion leaves more to be wanted, as the reader ends up thinking: Are you simply seeking the approval of your parents? Or are you carving your own path in life? Or does the answer lie somewhere in between? Avoid ending your essay with a tangential idea. Instead, a strong conclusion is often closely related to the main point of your essay, but with a slight twist. By planning out your essay before writing, you can make sure that each point (from start to finish) connects the way you want it to and that your conclusion ends on a strong, well-connected note.

Personal Statement Example #9: Speech and Debate

I was still high off the competition, poring over ballots by the soft streetlights as we drove. “Are you sure you want to do this?” My Dad was worried about me. Worried about my world crashing down around me, losing friends, being crushed by hate. Scarred by controversy. I laughed it off, and we rode in silence.

Fast forward to my second or third year in the league. I wanted to have some fun. I emailed the regional coordinator, asking if there’s a rule against a speech advocating for same-sex marriage.

This essay has lots of interesting ideas about having discussions between people of different viewpoints. This student is able to reflect sincerely about what the benefit of that dialogue is ("iron sharpening iron") and able to draw meaningful conclusions ("hope lives in that laughter") that express deeper ideas. By focusing on these compelling reflections, this student shows themself as a brilliant and thoughtful thinker, while demonstrating what they value: discourse between opposing viewpoints. Rather than focusing on the literal happenings (i.e. giving a speech to their club), the student reflects on what that experience represents more broadly, which allows them to connect to deeper ideas.

This essay is full of details, without being wordy or drawn out. Even small details like naming the show "The Daily Show" or giving a number of "40,000+ theologies" makes their writing much more engaging and compelling. By avoiding broad and vague language, this student paints a fascinating picture that allows the reader to enter their world. It is always better to be specific than to be generic, but make sure that the specific details are always relevant to your point. This essay is a great example of how to do both.

This essay does a fantastic job of creating a "voice." That is, you can easily imagine the student as if they were speaking to you while reading it. To craft this voice, this student uses small moments of more informal language and interjecting remarks that show their thought process. Using parentheses can be a good way to show your voice by jumping in when you have a small remark to add. This student also demonstrates a sense of humor and lightheartedness while still discussing meaningful ideas. The sarcastic remark "because controversy has no place in a debate club!" demonstrates their values (of dialogue between differing viewpoints) as well as showing their sense of personality.

This essay's weakest point is its intro or "hook." In fact, it could work much better by excluding the introduction paragraph and starting off with the second paragraph: "Forgive the melodrama: this is a story..." That short phrase is much more captivating and immediately draws the reader in. The introduction paragraph in this essay is too much of a meandering and vague story: you don't know what they're talking about, and ultimately it doesn't matter. Rather than using a fancy story or descriptions to introduce your essay, try jumping into the "meat" of your essay immediately. Consider using a short, declarative sentence or phrase like "Forgive the melodrama" as a hook, which is more impactful and draws the reader immediately into your essay.

Personal Statement Example #10: Finding Answers

Common App Prompt #3: Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? (250-650 words)

My grandmother’s concern faded rather quickly as sirens fell distant and time passed.

After about 30 minutes, my grandfather’s friend ran toward the beach. My grandfather was not next to him. He was not there at all. At that moment, my grandma knew.

“Burt...he was with me...he slipped...he fell...I ran down the side of the mountain, off the trail, but I couldn’t find him. The park rangers are looking...” She stopped listening. She could see his lips moving, yet she heard nothing.

This essay repeats a lot of the same ideas or information, just using different words. Rather than "getting to the point," this repetition makes the essay feel meandering and like it is going nowhere ultimately. When drafting your essay, it is okay to have repetition (your drafts shouldn't be perfect, after all). But when editing, ask yourself with each sentence: does this add something new? Is this necessary to my main point? If not, you should exclude those sentences.

This essay starts off with a drawn-out story of the tragedy involving the author's grandfather. Most of this story is unnecessary, because all that really matters for this student's main idea is the fact that their grandfather passed away from a tragic accident. Details about his grandmother or his grandfather's best friend are unnecessary and distracting.

An important "rule" in college essays is to only write from your perspective. That is, don't describe things that you couldn't have seen or experienced. In this essay, the author spends a lot of time describing their grandfather's incident as if they was there to witness it. But we later learn that the author was not even alive at this point, so how could they be describing these things? On a smaller level, don't describe yourself from an outside perspective. For example, instead of, "I grimaced when I heard the news" (how did you see yourself grimace?) you could say, "I felt my stomach pang when I heard the news."

Your ideas are most valuable in your essays. Admissions officers want to see how you think, and having interesting ideas that are unique to you is how you demonstrate that you're thoughtful and insightful. Avoid surface-level ideas at all costs, as it comes off cliché. It is okay to start with more generic ideas, but you should always delve deeper. To get at deeper and more unique ideas, the key is to ask yourself questions. For example: Why is this the case? Why don't things work differently? What does this mean for other people? What does this represent? How can I apply this to other areas of life?

Personal Statement Example #11: Connecting with Others

Common App Prompt #5: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. (250-650 words)

It's important to create a "voice" in your personal statement, so that admissions officers can imagine your character and personality. Try to write as you would speak, but refined and polished. In this essay, natural-sounding phrases like "...let me admit, I was awful..." humanizes the author and makes the reader feel like they're being spoken to.

This essay is a perfect example of how effective essays don't need to have a super unusual story to be compelling. What makes this essay's story compelling is not necessarily the topic itself (meeting distant relatives), but instead how the student reflects and makes interesting connections to broader ideas. Even seemingly mundane experiences can make for meaningful personal statements topics.

This conclusion works well by connecting to the main story of the essay. However, certain phrases like "As a global citizen" and "I am hoping to forge relationships" are potentially too generic. Instead, try taking your main idea (in this case forming connections with others) and broaden it or connect to more universal ideas.

Personal Statement Example #12: Summer Confidence

This essay has a heartfelt moment where the author connects deeply with a camper and feels a sense of genuine gratitude. By showing their newfound connection with a person they were mentoring, this creates a sense of humanity and also tells a lot about the author themself. By talking about other people in your life, you create a literary "foil" which in turn describes something about yourself. Showing how you interact with others can be telling into your character, such as showing your empathy, sense of humor, friendliness, or how you draw inspiration from others.

This essay does a good job of expressing vulnerability, specifically the author's fears about the future and "deteriorating friendships" after going to college. By being vulnerable, these moments feel more relatable to the reader. Showing your struggles (especially emotional ones) can also make your later "successes" feel more impactful when you show how you've overcame them or persist in face of those struggles. By recognizing your flaws or insecurities, you also show self-awareness, which is a positive trait because you need to be self-aware in order to improve the areas of yourself you want to fix.

Although this essay does reflect upon the lessons learned during their time at this camp, the takeaways are ultimately surface-level and not delved into. Rather than saying things like "I had more confidence," it would be more engaging to show how that confidence made an effect and what exactly that "confidence" meant. This essay touches upon some meaningful lessons, but ultimately they fall flat because the nuances of these lessons are glossed over. Phrases like "upon further consideration it no longer fills me with...apprehension" don't delve into the most interesting part: How and why did that fear go away? What changed about your perspective and why? Instead, these are explained away with "confidence and maturity," which are too broad of terms and feel meaningless because they are overused in essays.

In your personal statement, it is completely OK to reference people by their first name. Using names makes your essay more vivid and engaging, while showing a deeper connection that you have with others. Rather than saying "other people" or "one of the older campers," it would be more impactful to use their first name. There are some caveats, however. Don't use their name if you're showing them in a negative light (which you probably shouldn't do anyway) or if you're revealing something personal about them. If you are revealing something personal, you can substitute their name for another name, or ask them for their direct permission.

Personal Statement Example #13: First Impressions

It had a nice ring to it, but I wasn’t a fan. Unfortunately, that’s what I imagined everyone saw first, and first impressions stick.

A caveat of my surgery was that the hair would grow, then one-third would fall off. My scar will never be completely gone, but I no longer feel defined by it like I did in elementary school.

An effective hook doesn't need to be complicated. Often, the best hooks are simple, declarative sentences. By using a short sentence, you'll immediately draw the reader into your essay and create a point of emphasis. In general, avoid long and meandering sentences to start your essay, and save those for later in your essay. Clear and succinct phrasing is often the hallmark of a strong hook.

To convey your ideas more strongly, show them using concrete examples. In this essay, the author does a great job of that by not saying "classmates only saw me for my scar," but instead showing that idea through the memorable image of "I learned about my classmates through their lunchbox covers...they saw me as the boy with the scar." Using tangible imagery makes for a compelling way of expressing your ideas, as it allows the reader to come to the conclusions you want them to, without just "telling" them.

Avoid exaggerating or "fluffing up" experiences in your essays. Instead, be realistic and tell them for what they are. This essay does that perfectly by using phrases like "I didn't have a sudden epiphany about my scar." Avoid using phrases like "suddenly, I..." which are often overused and unrealistic. Most new understandings aren't acquired in one moment in particular, but are developed over time.

This essay touches on some compelling ideas, such as how people can distill down other people into their physical attributes or ailments. However, it would be even stronger to delve deeper into these reflections by asking further questions: Why do we gravitate towards "categorizing" people based on surface-level attributes? What is the impact of only be acknowledged for surface-level characteristics by others, but knowing that you have much more depth to your character? This essay has some meaningful ideas, but other ideas such as "I can be whatever I want to be" feel surface-level and somewhat generic.

Personal Statement Example #14: Law Career

One great way to have interesting ideas is to show things that you find fascinating that other people may find boring. This essay describes how a judge mandating "reprimands for speeding tickets might be dull for some," but how they find it interesting. Everything, even the seemingly mundane, has interesting aspects if you're willing to look closely enough. When brainstorming, ask yourself: what do I find fascinating that others find boring? What do I think is "fun" while others may think it is "hard" or boring? By following these threads, you can often find unique and compelling ideas that allow you to bring the reader into your world and show them how you see the world uniquely.

A common trap when writing a personal statement is to use a descriptive, fiction-like story to start your essay. Although this may sound like a good idea, it is often ineffective because it buries what is most interesting (your ideas and reflections) and can easily be long and drawn out. Short, concise stories with a focus can be effective introductions, but in general avoid overly descriptive storytelling to start your essay. Also, avoid describing things that aren't critical to your main point. There is little to no benefit in describing things like "I smoothed my skirt and rose slowly from the chair." Focus on why your stories matter, rather than telling stories in a descriptive manner.

This essay does have some reflections, particularly about how the author discovered their passion for law by joining the Youth Court. However, most of these ideas end there, and there aren't any deep, unique ideas. The closest the author comes to having a unique and compelling idea is the final sentence where they write "the value of prioritizing the common good above individual success." This could be a fascinating topic to explore, but ultimately is cut short because it is tagged onto the ending. Your focus when brainstorming and drafting should be to have specific and original ideas—ideas that are not generic, not cliché, and not surface-level. To get to those ideas, ask yourself probing questions like "Why" and "How" over and over.

Personal Statement Example #15: My Asian Experience

Personal Statement Example #16: Secrets of Riddles

Common App Prompt #6: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? (250-650 words)

As I was going to St. Ives, Upon the road I met seven wives; Every wife had seven sacks, Every sack had seven cats: Cats, sacks, and wives, How many were going to St. Ives?

The riddles of life were not as straightforward as the puzzles in my books and websites. In fact, they were not straightforward at all, like winding mazes of philosophical quandary.

One of the most thought-provoking subjects that preoccupies my mind regards the existence of aliens. Initially, my mind was settled on the possibility of intelligent life. A universe so big could not possibly be lifeless.

As for the solution to the riddle at the start:

How many were going to St. Ives?

This essay does well by having a unique central topic—riddles—which allows the author to draw out interesting ideas related to this theme. Your topic doesn't necessarily need to be profound or hugely significant, because this author shows how you can take a seemingly unimportant topic and use it to make meaningful connections. In this essay, riddles grow to represent something greater than the activity itself, which is something you can do with almost any topic.

One of the most effective ways to "show, not tell" is to use specific and tangible examples. This essay does a great job of exemplifying their ideas. Rather than just saying "I enthralled my friends with questions," the author also shows this: "Over peanut butter and sliced ham, I assumed the role of story teller..." Examples are always more convincing because they are proof, and allow the reader to interpret for themselves. Don't tell the reader what you want them to think. Instead, set up moments that guide the reader to come to those conclusions themselves.

This conclusion connects back to the beginning, which is generally a good idea as it creates a cohesive structure. However, this ending doesn't quite make sense in the context of the riddle. Rather than creating new meaning, it comes off as arbitrary and contrived. Make sure your conclusion isn't creative just for creative-sake, and instead also has significant meaning attached to it.

Personal Statement Example #17: Rubik's Cube

Personal Statement Example #18: Narrative Diversity

If your cultural background or identity is an important part of who you are, then writing about it can make for a compelling essay. Often times in college admissions, Asian-Americans in particular are advised to "hide" their ethnic background, because it can be perceived to hurt their application. This student embraces their Asian heritage by recognizing ways in which they faced societal barriers. As this essay shows, regardless of your identity, there are unique aspects you can delve into that can make for compelling topics.

This essay does a great job of reflecting upon previously held beliefs, such as "I unconsciously succumbed to the 'reserve and quiet' Asian stereotype," and challenging them. Questioning your beliefs and where they came from can often be a good starting point for interesting reflection. Showing your new perspectives over time also conveys self-growth. Ask yourself: what did I once believe (in regards to myself, an activity, other people, etc.), what do I believe now, and how has this changed?

Rather than starting off with an activity and then reflecting upon it, this student takes a different approach. By introducing an interesting idea (the representation of underrepresented groups in media) and then later connecting to their activities, it makes the incorporation of those extracurriculars seem more appropriate and natural. The last thing you want to do is list your activities plainly, but it's still important to reference them. One strategy to naturally talk about your activities and accomplishments is to attach them to interesting ideas, as this essay shows.

Personal Statement Example #19: Search for Dreams

Common App Prompt #7: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. (250-650 words)

The diamond leaves of gnarled oak trees throw spectrums of color onto mounds of frosty snow that gleam melancholily under the moonlight. The leaves chime as wind violently rustles them in a haunting melody. I splinter a leaf off its branch and inspect the shard of my illusion, eyes dancing with amusement.

As I dwell in my worries, a cold hand reaches from behind me and taps my shoulder.

I jerk away, fear bubbling in my amygdala as I look into the nonexistent eyes of my intruding visitor.

The moon illuminates a blob of pink squish as it draws back slowly, points its spindly hands towards my drink and asks: “Could I have some of that?”

The blob wipes its invisible mouth with its nonexistent sleeve. I ask: “What are you?”

The blob tells me to stop looking at it so suspiciously. “I can prove it,” It says. I tell it, please, go ahead.

Suddenly we are back in the glowing forest. “Diamonds? Pah!” The blob dismisses them. Instantly, the leaves turn solid gold, the snow melts, and the wintry world is thrown into a blistering summer.

The blob laughs heartlessly. “Your cortex is under my control,” it says smugly.

“I heard you had a question for me?” It taps its invisible ears knowingly.

The blob wriggles its invisible brows as it waits.

It smiles that wicked smile. It laughs that sinful laugh. Then that insufferable blob wakes me up.

As I sit up in the dark and rub my bleary eyes, I am vaguely aware of the deep­set unfulfillment settling itself inside me. I yawn and plop back into bed, the soft red glow of my alarm clock indicating that it is still before midnight.

One thing is for sure about this essay: it has a unique idea that has surely not been written before. Regardless of your topic, you want your essay to be unique in some way, even if it isn't as fantastical as this essay. You can use a unique structure, such as having central symbolism, metaphor, or being structured as a recipe, for example. But this can easily become "gimmicky" if it doesn't have a clear purpose. In general, the most effective way to have a unique essay is to focus on having deep and unique ideas and reflections. By focusing on interesting takeaways and connections that are ultra-specific to you and your experiences, your essay will standout regardless of the structure.

This essay uses a lot of fiction-like writing that is fantastical and "flowery." Although moments of this kind of writing can make your essay more vivid, it is quite easy to end up with dense storytelling and descriptions that ultimately don't share anything interesting about you. The purpose of your essay is ultimately to learn about you: your values, your ideas, your identity, etc. By using dense story-like writing, it can be easy to lose focus of what admissions officers are looking for. In general, avoid writing "fancy" stories like this essay, unless you have a clear and distinct purpose for doing so. Everything in your essay should have a purpose in "going somewhere" (i.e. reaching interesting ideas and takeaways).

This essay is definitely creative, but lacks meaningful takeaways and ideas. By the end of the essay, we don't know much about the author besides the fact that they have an affinity for creative writing and are "on a search." Although the content is unique, the end result comes off as quite generic and surface-level because no interesting thoughts are explored deeply. The most interesting part of this essay is "I open my mouth and ask it my most crucial question," but this is super unsatisfying because the question is never divulged. Instead, the reader is teased by this fantasy story and the essay goes nowhere meaningful, which comes off as gimmicky and "creative for creative's sake," rather than deeply personal and interesting.

This essay ends on the idea of "continuing my search," but for what exactly? It is never explained, elaborated, or even implied (besides one reference to painting earlier). That makes this conclusion comes off as somewhat surface-level and uninteresting. Admissions officers won't care about "your search" unless they have a reason to care. That is, unless it tells something specific about you. On it's own, this idea of "exploring" and "searching" is meaningless because it is too broad and unelaborated.

Personal Statement Example #20: Recipe for Success

Step 1: Collect the ingredients

Step 2: Marinate the meat

Step 3: Wrap the dumplings

Step 4: Boil or pan-fry?

Step 5: Share and enjoy!

This essay has a clearly unique format in that it is structured as a dumpling recipe. By walking the reader through each step of dumpling-making, the student is able to explore various ideas and use the dumpling process as a metaphor for their own self-discovery. Having a creative structure like this can be beneficial, so long as you also have compelling ideas and the structure isn't unique just for the sake of being unique.

This whole essay is one big metaphor: the student compares their self-growth to the process of making dumplings. In doing so, the student introduces their heritage, while also having a creative literary device that they can use to explore various topics. By having a "central theme" such as this essay does, it makes it easier to explore a variety of ideas and activities, without seeming like you're listing them.

Struggles are one of the most defining aspects of self-development, and admissions officers are interested to see how you have overcome challenges. These difficulties don't need to be extreme tragedies or insurmountable obstacles, but everyone has faced difficulties. By reflecting upon those difficulties, you can draw out interesting ideas, showcase vulnerability, and express your personality.

What You Can Learn From These Personal Statement Examples

With these 20 Personal Statement examples, you can get inspired and improve your own essays. If you want to get accepted into selective colleges this year, your essays need to make you stand out.

These 20 examples show how real students got into highly selective schools and teach us several lessons for writing your own successful Personal Statement essay:

• Write a compelling first sentence that grabs the reader
• Be specific and reference things by name
• Tell a meaningful story
• Reflect on your life and identity. Be self-aware.

If you enjoyed these personal statement examples, check out some of our top Common App Essays , which are also personal statements essays, but for the Common Application.

Which of these personal statement examples was your favorite?

Ryan Chiang , Founder of EssaysThatWorked.com

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12 Tips for Answer Georgia College and State University Personal Essay Questions

Wednesday, august 28, 2024.

Writing a strong personal essay is an essential component of the application process when you apply to Georgia College and State University (GCSU).  In the personal essay questions , the  themes of career goals, personal growth, and community service are often emphasised. The university asks the students to elaborate on why they are interested in a particular field of study or recount a challenging situation they went through and how they managed to resolve it. 

Students can demonstrate their skills, achievements, and values by using real-life experiences as examples. In addition, the university’s personal essay questions require students to strike a balance between self-reflection and storytelling. Students must also present clear knowledge of how their experiences and prospective goals relate to the institution’s values. 

However, some students do not have enough skills to effectively answer such questions while  applying to university. So, this guide is for such students. Here,  we will provide tips on  writing a personal statement and answering such essay questions in your university application. 

How to Answer Georgia College and State University Personal Essay Questions?

Georgia College aims to extend education outside of the classroom to support students' critical thinking abilities. Thus, they have incorporated such questions into the enrolment applications. Below are the 12 tips that will provide  assistance with your essay  questions and improve your chances of having your application accepted.

1. Know the Best Ideas for Your Essay

The personal essay questions Georgia College and State University are meant to add more insight into your application. In addition, the response to such personal essay topics helps the admission committee to know more about you. To write a strong essay, make sure that your thoughts are coherent and reflect your own experiences. 

Here, we are providing you with some tricks to come up with amazing ideas:

• Understand the prompt.
• Read the question carefully.
• Get the core ideas.

Ideas Brainstorming

• Recall life events that have shaped who you are today.
• Think about how your social, academic or cultural backgrounds have influenced you.
• Remember times when you overcame challenges or achieved milestones in life.
• Focus on strengths or areas of passion for you.

Your ideas must:

• Be relevant to the prompt.
• Be realistic.
• In line with what the university stands for.

2. Reflect on Your Experiences

As you prepare to apply to university, remember the experiences that have contributed to shaping you the way you are now. Your essay should show how these developments, interests, and objectives align with the university's mission and values.

Think about the following points while you reflect on your experiences:

Obstacles and Challenges

What barriers or hurdles have hindered your progress in the past, and what methods did you capitalise on to go beyond them? Which abilities were sharpened from these experiences? How did these experiences affect your outlook towards life and your goals?

Positions and Duties in Leadership

Retrace your steps and recount what you acquired. Restate lessons you learned from playing a leading role.

Academic Accomplishments and Interests

Reverse the positions, think about yourself, and concentrate on your various achievements in class. How did you develop an interest in these areas, and what have they done to help you reach your goals?

Development of the Self and Self-Awareness

Apart from considering one’s personal developments, consider the times when challenges or disappointments were faced and dealt with. When and how did you confront these challenges? What did you learn about yourself while doing so?

As you think about these events, think about the following questions:

• What skills did this encounter assist me in developing or improving?
• What changes has this encounter brought to my ambitions and goals?
• In what way does this experience relate to my aspirations and objectives?
• What values or principles did this experience instil or reinforce in me?
• What precise moments or stories can I draw on?

3. Don't Tell them a Story They Want; Tell them What You Want

When crafting your essays for applications, it is easy to get into the comfort zone of writing in a way that seems pleasant to the members of the admissions committee. This approach, however, often fails to showcase your point. Instead, it is advisable to be unapologetically bold and tell the story you want to tell, regardless of who it will appeal to. Understand that it is very important to be real in your essay.

When writing your personal statement, consider these points:

• Focus on how the engagement aspects of your essay have been drawn from your unique experiences. 
• Explain how being unique comes from expressing yourself on your own rather than what you believe the college would prefer to hear.
• Explain why authentic stories are more interesting as they are true and emotional.
• Argue that for your essay to capture attention, it is important to be free, vulnerable, and take risks in your narrative.
• Expressing your wishes reveals more about your true self, and that is what the college is looking for.

4. Be Authentic

Finding one’s values, beliefs, and passions is the heart of authenticity. This starts in the inner space where you try so hard to know yourself and decide which of your values are the most important. There is authenticity in overcoming the temptation to conform to other people’s expectations or remain true to one’s core beliefs. This offered a foundation of integrity and formed the basis of all other forms of honest living.

Here are some remarkable aspects of authenticity:

5. Keep it Concise

A well-developed statement is probably an important component of your university application. Therefore, this comprehensive guide is an opportunity to demonstrate your unique features, life history and aspirations to the admission committee.

Moreover, when it comes to providing an essay that stands out, there is a need to ensure that it is written interestingly and coherently and let it remain on topic. Here are some of the suggestions that can help you achieve this:

• Ensure that there is no room for ambiguity.
• Provide your readers with relevant examples.
• Avoid needless information.
• Choose simple and straight-to-the-point words.

6. Think Outside the Box!

Do not restrict yourself with commonly known details about yourself but be brave and include little more creativity in your paper.

Here are a few helpful hints that will assist you in doing so:

• Refusal may be miserable, but reluctantly tell the admissions committee your fabulous and unique achievements.
• In ways that are explosive to emotions or stretch one's imagination, draw a picture on the spare part of the essay and tell a story instead of better structuring it.

Most people approach the task of doing something different as a way of trying to succeed personally and professionally.

7. Use Proper Grammar and Spelling

In a personal statement, an applicant must pay attention to the structure of the essay, including spelling and grammatical conventions. To eliminate such mistakes, it is recommended to:

• Carry out a basic form to improve the writing of the essay.
• Utilise online resources for grammar and spell check.
• Seek feedback.

With these guidelines, students make sure that there will be no errors in answers to personal essay questions about grammar. It is also necessary to organise the document properly to be favourable to the admission board. In addition, you can also get samples from  legit essay writing firms in the UK   to understand the structure of personal essays for university applications. 

8. Revise Often and Edit

Here, we are going to look into the need to edit and revise the answers we have written for the personal essay questions. By following these strategies, you can make your essay stand out.

• Remove unnecessary elements and improve the organisation of your work.
• Make your arguments and their supporting evidence stronger.
• Improve grammatical errors and sentence fluency.
• Express more of who you are through words and speech.
• Rectify gaps and inconsistencies in your narratives.

Editing your essay requires you to also look at the spelling, grammar or punctuation of the essay. When doing so, particularly pay attention to grammar, punctuation, length of sentences, word choice, and consistency. 

How to start Editing your Essay?

Essay revision is checking the content, structure, and flow of the essay. While undertaking this process, take into consideration the following:

• Am I clear and focused in my thesis statement?
• Does the flow of my answers make sense?
• Do my anecdotes and examples of work support my points?
• Am I able to use the same voice/tone throughout the essay?
• Is there anything else that I could include to give more details?

9. Highlight Your Strengths

To stand out from other applicants, highlight your strengths in the essay. Before you put your pen on paper, spare a minute or two and try to recall particular events, achievements, and traits. To focus on your academic achievements, ask yourself:

• What are the specific achievements I have attained and the strong skills I possess in university?
• What are the objectives and aspirations I have about my career?
• What factors make me different from other people?

To highlight the strong points in your answer to personal essay questions, you can use examples and narratives. In addition, it is also advisable to highlight your soft skills and let your readers feel your passion and excitement.

10. Demonstrate Your Fit

A powerful piece detailing your personal experiences only works when you show how you fit into Georgia College and State University, its beliefs, and its aim. In addition, add the following salient features to your response to personal essay questions:

Background in Academia 

Talk about your academic history first, highlighting any academic projects that show your readiness for the school you are applying to. Give details of any awards, competitions, or activities that underscore your achievements in your area of study.

Experience That Matters

Mention any planned internships or previous work experience which is relevant to the degree or course you are looking for. Explain how these experiences shaped your career goals.

Link to the University

Why do you want to study at Georgia College and State University? Justify why you believe this particular university is the most suitable for you. Explain how you will be useful to the school community considering the faculty members, research facilities and university culture. 

Long-term Vision

Explain what the future is going to hold for you, particularly how you see the contribution you will make to the field of your choice after you finish the degree. Mention how your university education and experiences will create opportunities for you to achieve these goals and promote positive change as well. You may make arguments that positively reinforce yourself in terms of why you are a strong prospect for the program you are applying to. 

11. Get Started Early

It is very important to start dealing with the Georgia College and State University personal essay questions as soon as possible. If you plan early, you will have sufficient time to arrange and write the essay content and predictably proofread it. This is why it is necessary to commence at the earliest point.

Why, then, should you get started early? Here are some of the reasons:

• Stress is decreased when you start early!
• You'll generate more ideas if you give yourself more time to brainstorm!
• You may demonstrate to the admissions committee that you are serious about attending the university.  
• You are prepared to put in the time and effort to learn more about it by researching it and its core values.
• You'll have more time to proofread, edit, and refine your responses.

12. Seek Help When Needed

Assistance seeking is very important, particularly when responding to a personal essay question. One can feel immense pressure to perform well, and this is understandable. Furthermore, it’s important to recognise when you are stuck and need help. 

A teacher, mentor, or guidance counsellor offers support to craft a good paper. You can also  purchase your essay  from online resources that will lead to successful admission to your desired university. 

How to answer Georgia College and State University Personal Essay Questions?

Here are the tips for answering these question types;

• Do not be afraid of making your voice heard. 
• Structure a clear and interesting essay.
• Make use of the words and writing skills that you already have.
• Write about yourself. But don't try to encapsulate your whole life!
• Answer the question that has been asked.
• Read it over again!
• Write on the internet in a networked word processor.

What should be included in College and State University Personal Essay Questions?

It is best to talk about both positive and negative matters, a humiliating experience, or a quality or interest that exemplifies your values. If you are honest about the issue, character flaws, or sad childhood events, the reader will find it far more credible. 

In addition, it will exhibit your personal life experiences that the admission panel wants to know. So, by including all the information, you can fulfil the true objective of such essay types in application forms. 

The importance of the personal essay questions in the Georgia College and State University application process enables candidates to make the best impression and talk more about themselves. An effective essay can provide a student’s perspective to the admission committees, which are usually standardised, and help to distinguish them from everyone else. 

Moreover, students can show in their essays how well they will integrate themselves into the programs by spinning a good and well-organised narrative. Finally, submitting an excellent personal essay shows that the candidate is open and honest. In addition, the applicant understands what the university is all about and its values. 

Students who follow such practice can write a good manuscript, which allows them to develop their competencies and increase their chances of being accepted into university. Thus, they can begin their developmental, educational, and achievement-oriented journey and fulfil all their academic and career ambitions.

Chris Bates

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I was fired from Deloitte after 18 months. Here are the mistakes I made as a new grad.

• Eddy Gramajo landed a job at Deloitte as a first-gen college graduate with a low-income background.
• At Deloitte, he was too focused on grasping corporate culture rather than his actual work.
• Gramajo was fired after 1 ½ years but has since built a successful accounting career in tech.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Eddy Gramajo, a 32-year-old accountant in San Diego. Business Insider has verified his employment history and salary details. The following has been edited for length and clarity.

I wasn't a great student in high school — I had a 2.4 GPA. Even my guidance counselor told me that community college would probably be my best option.

Yet I managed to land a job at Deloitte after college. Eighteen months later, though, I was fired.

I studied accounting in college to make a better life for myself

When I was growing up in California, my mom didn't make much money as a hairstylist, and she raised my brother and me as a single mother . I remember coming home from school and not knowing where we'd be sleeping because we'd been evicted.

Despite not being a great student, I got into the University of Redlands, a small school in Southern California, with generous financial aid and multiple need-based scholarships from local nonprofits.

I decided to double-major in business and accounting because the people I knew who made money and lived in nice houses were accountants or in finance or business. I wanted to help my mom out, do better for myself, and not worry about the lights being turned off or how to afford meals.

I was told I didn't look professional enough

Throughout college, I tried hard to make money — I resold my classmates used textbooks and worked multiple part-time retail and service jobs .

I knew other people who got internships, but I didn't manage to land any despite going to many Meet the Firms events , attending presentations, doing mock interviews, and submitting applications.

I remember thinking I crushed my first Meet the Firms event since I'd met many people and had gotten a stack of business cards. I was excited to follow up. Then my professor, the head of accounting, pulled me aside and told me that one of the Big Four firm's employees had mentioned that I needed to clean up, shave my beard, and be more presentable.

At another event, I remember one of the Big Four recruiters telling me, "I'm not even going to take a look at your résumé because your GPA isn't high enough."

Related stories

It was harsh feedback, but I started working to fix those things. In my junior year, I became the president of the Accounting Society and started a chapter of ALPFA, an association for Latino professionals, with a classmate. I also improved my GPA, even graduating with honors.

In my senior year, a Deloitte employee gave a presentation on campus. Afterward, we hit it off by talking about baseball, and I later reached out to him. He helped forward my résumé to a recruiter.

That fall, I landed a job offer from Deloitte. I knew that working at a Big Four firm would offer many opportunities and set me up for quick career progression, so I took the job.

At Deloitte, I focused on looks and personality instead of work

I thought for hours about what to wear on my first day . I chose a tie, dress shirt, and slacks, and I remember walking in and realizing I was the only one wearing a tie. After being told in the past that I didn't look presentable enough, I overbenchmarked my presentation.

In my starting class of 13 people, I was one of only two people of color. I didn't want people to think I didn't know what I was doing or draw attention to the fact that I was different.

I felt like the others in my starting class knew how to move in the corporate world better than I did, so I just tried to observe and learn.

I was so focused on grasping corporate culture that I didn't focus as much on the actual accounting work — that was my mistake. I focused on becoming buddy-buddy with the higher-ups because that was what I thought I needed to do to get ahead and accelerate my career.

When I got to Deloitte, I was surrounded by people from Yale, the University of California, San Diego, and all of these schools I didn't get into, so I clung to what I thought my strength was — my relationship-building skills — because they had always gotten me to places where my smarts couldn't.

I had some performance issues and was fired

I was promoted about 12 months in. But between then and the next review cycle, it became clear that it wasn't working out.

I missed a deadline or two and received more review notes on the Excel workbooks I turned in than expected. I wasn't submitting projects quickly enough because I was afraid to ask questions.

My senior manager asked me what was happening a few months before I was let go. I told her generally about some personal stuff I had going on because I thought I could be candid with her. She basically was like, "Hey, I know you're going through a lot, but everybody goes through stuff in their life, but they all end up figuring out how to get things done on time."

I started getting assigned lower-level work, and by my 18th month there, I stopped seeing stuff on my calendar. I took the lighter schedule as an opportunity to study for the CPA exam.

One day, I went into the office and had something scheduled on my calendar that morning. I went into the meeting, which was with the lead partner at the San Diego office and the human-resources person. They told me I was being let go because of performance issues.

I took it on the chin. I'm never one to make excuses. I could see how I hadn't been producing good-quality work, so I understood.

Even when I was getting fired, I was just super thankful for the opportunity. I knew how important it was to have Deloitte on my résumé, even just that 18-month experience.

I've made a career for myself

After Deloitte, I created an app with a former colleague from the firm to teach financial literacy to low-income families and students. The project ended up not working out, but at one point, we reached 5,000 monthly active users.

I moved back up to the Bay Area and slept on my brother's couch for a few months while I applied for jobs at tech companies, partly because I knew that was where the money was. I interviewed at 25 places and got an offer at Pandora in revenue accounting.

After Pandora, I worked at Glassdoor, started my consulting firm, Gramajo Consulting, joined Calm as its first hire on the revenue team, and have been at Dropbox since June 2022.

This is the longest I've ever been at a company, and Dropbox is one of the best places I've ever worked. The culture is great, and it's fully remote . My total compensation is nearly $300,000, and Dropbox offers great benefits — they provide six months of paid parental leave, so I got to spend six months straight with my child when he was born.

I don't look back and think about things I wish I had done differently. I feel like everything happens for a reason. Maybe if I hadn't gotten let go, I wouldn't have started the financial-literacy app or gotten a job at Pandora.

Now, 10 years later, I'm focused on making sure my team is  clear on the goals  we set. I don't want anybody to feel the way I felt at Deloitte, so I always provide a lot of transparency to my team in terms of giving feedback and discussing career growth.

I really focus on psychological safety for my team because I think that's important for groups such as first-generation white-collar employees, women, and people of color in the workplace. Two of my team of three are women of color, and I try to elevate them and give them recognition.

Mentors along the way supported me, and I want to pay it forward

I wouldn't have gotten here without the support of some great mentors along the way, including Nancy, the woman who ran a program called the College Dream Team and was the first person to tell me that I could go to college; Becky Mangiardi, my high-school librarian who would always be a listening ear and paid for one of my $75 college-application fees when I was trying to brainstorm ways to come up with the money; and Laurie Mitchell, my accounting professor who lent me $1,200 to be able to move to San Diego for Deloitte because she knew how important that was to get my career started.

I  share my story on TikTok  and try to be more transparent with my team because I want to pay forward the knowledge I've gained throughout my career to others.

I want others not to struggle the way I did and to learn from my mistakes so they don't have to make the same ones.

Deloitte representatives did not respond to requests for comment.

If you worked in a Big Four firm and would like to share your story, email Jane Zhang at [email protected] .

Watch: SAP's CMO Julia White learned early in her career about the challenge of leading teams through change, and earning respect by owning up to mistakes

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David French

The Christian Persecution Narrative Rings Hollow

By David French

Opinion Columnist

This June, I was invited on a friend’s podcast to answer a question I’ve been asked over and over again in the Trump era. Are Christians really persecuted in the United States of America? Millions of my fellow evangelicals believe we are, or they believe we’re one election away from a crackdown. This sense of dread and despair helps tie conservative Christians, people who center their lives on the church and the institutions of the church, to Donald Trump — the man they believe will fight to keep faith alive.

As I told my friend, the short answer is no, not by any meaningful historical definition of persecution. American Christians enjoy an immense amount of liberty and power.

But that’s not the only answer. American history tells the story of two competing factions that possess very different visions of the role of faith in American public life. Both of them torment each other, and both of them have made constitutional mistakes that have triggered deep cultural conflict.

One of the most valuable and humbling experiences in life is to experience an American community as part of the in-group and as part of the out-group. I spent most of my life living in the cultural and political center of American evangelical Christianity, but in the past nine years I’ve been relentlessly pushed to the periphery . The process has been painful. Even so, I’m grateful for my new perspective.

When you’re inside evangelicalism, Christian media is full of stories of Christians under threat — of universities discriminating against Christian student groups, of a Catholic foster care agency denied city contracts because of its stance on marriage or of churches that faced discriminatory treatment during Covid , when secular gatherings were often privileged over religious worship .

Combine those stories with the personal tales of Christians who faced death threats, intimidation and online harassment for their views, and it’s easy to tell a story of American backsliding — a nation that once respected or even revered Christianity now persecutes Christians. If the left is angry at conservatives for seeking the protection of a man like Trump, then it has only itself to blame.

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PLME essays that worked

<p>I got into the program, but I’m not going. I hope it helps all you potential applicants to know that, apparently, this was good enough.</p>

<p>Most high school seniors are unsure about eventual career choices. What factors led you to decide on a career in medicine? And why did you choose to apply to the PLME in pursuit of this career?</p>

<p>When I was growing up, my parents would take me to the hospital where they worked, but all I remember is that it was a fun place for Christmas parties. As a fan of medical television like House, MD, and Scrubs, I decided in high school to explore medicine for myself. Volunteering in a local emergency department, I became privy to a different side of health care, past the science of blood gas measurements and pupil dilations. What fascinated me was the unique language in the hospital delineating a divide from the rest of the world. Turfing inconvenient patients, nurses soothing the most hysterical of people, and skeptical doctors sniffing out drug seekers-all highlighted medical terminology and knowledge not found in any textbooks. Part of this manipulation of language seemed, at times, cold and detached- for example, “practice,” which can mean allowing an intern to try CPR on a person long gone. Referring to the patient in room 11 by the diagnosis of “chest pain” instead of his name protected confidentiality, but it struck me still as lacking the warmth I thought health care was supposed to embody. Then I saw my first dead body. “FULL TRAUMA” sounded overhead, and a few minutes later paramedics hopped off the ambulance and wheeled the patient into the trauma bay, performing CPR the entire time. After they called it, I was left to stare at a nameless, lifeless person who had, an hour ago, been as alive as I. I don’t remember now what he looked like, but I’ll never forget the ER nurses and techs making jokes during the process, seemingly unaffected by the haunting specter of death that so disturbed me. Looking back, their behavior was far from callous, though. I have realized that people in the profession use euphemisms of language, dark humor, anything at all, in order to protect themselves. Even simple things like calling the dead “deceased,” dehumanize the process and let workers do their jobs, day in and day out. The special diction and use of language is a barrier guarding their own humanity. That is the basis of health care, the human relationship between two sides—patients and professionals, giving and taking, both in search of the elusive goodness in everyone. Thus I believe I have found a way of life that I wish to explore. This decision was not instant, but rather a culmination of my experiences in the hospital as a volunteer and intern. The euphoria I feel from helping a patient is an emotion I desire to sustain my entire life. And any opportunity to ensure me the privilege of entering this complex world, where life and death interact daily, is one that I value highly, especially a program such as the PLME. The years in undergraduate spent with a secure position in medical school would not be filled with complacency, however. My confidence in my future would allow for greater pursuits of a variety of activities, research and internships, and in the end, equip me to be a better student, doctor, and person.</p>

<p>The Brown Medical School’s mission states that our physician graduates will ‘regard medicine as a profession, not just a trade, as a humanitarian pursuit, and unique lifetime experience.’ What is your vision of a physician? How do you view your role as a future physician?</p>

<p>The interplay between moving forward and giving up, the struggle to hold onto hope, is what draws me in toward medicine. I love the field’s demand for expertise, skill, as well as an essential love for fellow mankind. Medical science, with the latest knowledge of the genome and molecular structures, is leading a revolutionary progression to better health care. Yet with all the advancements in technology, uncertainty remains-surgeries fail, people supposed to die live twenty years longer. I think the striving to beat the odds is quite sobering; it reminds that, in the end, man fights a losing battle against forces he cannot entirely control. But that is what makes medicine so beautiful. When one finally gets that win, the success of prolonging and improving life, something extraordinary happens. It all becomes worth it. Thoughtful and passionate humans, everyday people, have bonded to help other people in their time of need. Thus, it has become clear to me the difference between merely possessing medical knowledge and practicing medicine. The doctors I have observed and shadowed are so much more than repositories of facts and figures; most importantly, they care. Viewing themselves as humans first and doctors second, they put themselves not on a pedestal, but on the same level as the patient. Their compassion, comprehension, and shared decision making are fundamental to every patient-relationship. With massive malpractice insurance, sleep-deprived hours, and other stresses, physicians are constantly reminded of their fallibility-but they do their best with what they are given, because there is no other alternative. They must fulfill their purpose; it is their ever-satisfying calling. Working in the hospital’s trauma/neuro Intensive Care Unit, I have been cleaning up various bodily fluids, changing patients’ clothes, even brushing their teeth. These glamorous tasks have given me an appreciation of each and every component of health care, as I search for a calling of my own. I wish to jump right into this world of brains and hearts and stomachs, for the simultaneous critical thinking and consideration it requires is everything I cannot wait to pursue. The problem solving of determining diagnosis, prognosis, and treatment is of a vital nature, but equally as important is the art of being with people and understanding them. I hope to someday be a part of a new generation of doctors, aided by innovations of the 21st century, but still strongly cognizant of the social responsibilities of our newfound roles in serving humanity. It may take years to decode the PDR, MCATs, and DSMs of this environment, but something more universal is my focus and motivation—the role of doctors as experts, friends, and most of all, healers, which I believe transcends all languages and encompasses the beauty of human life.</p>

<p>Please do not delete this post. Based on <a href=“ http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/stanford-university/240000-my-long-essay-you-2011ers.html[/url] ”> http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/stanford-university/240000-my-long-essay-you-2011ers.html&lt;/a&gt ; , it should be OK to post my used essays if I wish.</p>

<p>great essays…i especially liked the second one :)</p>

<p>excellent job…no wonder you got in…would you mind saying where you went instead and what your stats were? thanks…I’m an ED applicant to the PLME btw…also…would you care to look at my PLME essays? Sorry for asking so much but you’re one of the few that actually got in lol</p>

<p>there’s ED for PLME? or is it just for Brown?</p>

<p>You can apply ED. There’s the option to choose that you’re applying to both Brown and PLME ED, or that you only want to apply to PLME ED and if not accepted to PLME you aren’t bound to attend Brown (assuming accepted to Brown). Or you can apply RD for both.</p>

<p>bumping this up- chunlin66, you are all doing us a big favor here. MUST READ for anyone applying to the program!</p>

<p>^Thanks for the bump.</p>

13 UPenn Essay Samples That Worked

Updated for the 2024-2025 admissions cycle.

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The University of Pennsylvania, also known as UPenn, is an Ivy League university that provides students from all over the world with a world-class education. With over 4,700 courses, 150 majors, and 500 clubs and organizations, there is truly something for everyone. The school offers over eight specialized programs. This includes the Bio-Dent Seven Year Bio-Dental Program, which allows students to earn an undergraduate degree in biology and a DMD degree from the school of dentistry in only seven years. Undergraduate students can also take classes at Wharton, which is among the most prestigious business schools in the world. Ultimately, the University of Pennsylvania is an outstanding choice for students to create their future, with exceptional academics, cultural events, landmark buildings, and a bustling campus life.

Unique traditions at UPenn

1. The Naked Quad Run: Every year on the night before the last exam, Penn students take off all their clothes except for shoes and sprint around the school's quad. The tradition began in 1997 as a way to celebrunte the end of the semester in a fun and rally way. 2. The Button Game: Penn's button game is an indoor scavenger hunt that takes place during the Spring semester. The game includes making designs out of buttons and other clues located around campus. 3. Senior Tree Planting: For the class of 1996 and beyond, Penn seniors are invited to plant a tree in West Philadelphia in a ceremony. The tree planting ceremony symbolizes the students' commitment to Penn and to the community. 4. The Red Cross Fire Companies: Penn's oldest student-run organizations date back to the 1800s when students formed the Fire Companies. The Fire Companies fought small fires on campus, performed drills to maintain their skill and performed service activities for the local community. 5. Homecoming Heroes: Penn celebrates their student and alumni achievements by designating a select group of Homecoming Heroes. The Heroes were chosen for their exceptional contributions to the University and their dedication to Penn's mission.

Programs at UPenn

1. Wharton Global Ambassadors: A student-run organization that works to establish relationships with like-minded business professionals from all over the world. 2. Penn Community Garden: An organization dedicated to providing fresh produce to individuals and families in need in the nearby community. 3. Penn Program for Public Service: An organization providing a platform for interdisciplinary service projects that promotes meaningful community engagement. 4. Engineering Without Borders: A student-run organization that links engineering technology and knowledge to empower people in developing countries. 5. PennSocial Justice: A student-led organization fostering social activism to create a just and sustainable world.

At a glance…

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Real Essays from UPenn Admits

Prompt: considering the specific undergraduate school you have selected, describe how you intend to explore your academic and intellectual interests at the university of pennsylvania..

The intersection between environmental science and debate are the two subjects I’ve realized I aspire to study, and Penn can effectively allow me to study their interdisciplinary connections.

As a student of Penn’s College of Arts and Sciences, I’ll seek to explore these subjects further with the people who piqued my curiosity in the first place. For example, Professor Kok-Chor Tan wrote a paper on the relationship between justice and wildlife protection, which prompted my interest in the intersections of philosophy and our ecosystem. I’d take his Philosophy of Law course (PHIL-1450) to learn about distributive justice in law, so I can strengthen my capabilities to campaign for eco-policies in the Philadelphia area, like the “Keep Philly Green & Water Clean” initiative.

Additionally, I’d also want to pursue research with professors like Cary Coglianese, who wrote a paper on policymakers’ failing responses to climate change, which I cited in a debate on the need for radical change in environmental legislation. The opportunity to learn both within the classroom and collaborate with Penn’s exceptional faculty makes me eager to become a Quaker.

Essay by Michael

Music producer and Philosophy connoisseur @ Penn

Prompt: Write a short thank-you note to someone you have not yet thanked and would like to acknowledge. (We encourage you to share this note with that person, if possible, and reflect on the experience!) (150-200 words)

Dear Aditi,

I remember the first time we met: a Book Bowl contest, where we religiously read 20 chapter books in order to win an American-British dictionary. Remember when we held our books up proudly as we were announced middle school champions? But, that was already six years ago and now we’ve grown and moved on to another common interest - dark Russian literature. 

Thank you for being a steadfast companion for the past six years, standing by my side through the evolution of interests and countless discussions and debates we’ve shared: from arguing about which boy was better in The Selection series in middle school, to fanning over Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment in AP Literature. 

As we approach the end of one era, I wanted to acknowledge the significant impact you’ve had on my life. Once we graduate from college, I’ll be waiting to rent an apartment with you in New York as we promised each other so many years ago. Here’s to our enduring bond, as tight as the bound pages of a book, and the many adventures that wait for us. 

With love, Annie

Essay by Anastasia Poliakova

Pre-Law Track Freshman @ Harvard University

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3 Ivy League College Essays That Worked

By Eric Eng

For high school students who have the goal of getting into an Ivy League school or multiple Ivy League schools, they are going to have to not only have impressive grade point averages and stellar test scores, they are also going to have to write truly unique personal essays so you need to know about the ivy league college essays that worked

In fact, now that a large number of schools in the United States have elected to make standardized test scores an optional part of the application process, the personal essay section of the application process has gotten even more important.

For that reason, you may be looking to learn about Ivy League college essays that worked so that you can get a better understanding of what the eight schools in the Ivy League are looking for.

Though every student is unique, and every school looks for something a little bit different from the others, there are some useful rules and tips that any high school student can – and should – keep in mind when they are getting started on writing their personal essays.

At AdmissionSight , we know just how important the personal essay section can be, and a lot of the students that we work with contact us off the bat because they are specifically looking for guidance and help on crafting their own essays.

We believe that every single student has an important and unique story to tell. But it can be rather hard to uncover and express that story in the right way so you have to learn about the ivy league college essays that worked.

That is the trick to personal essays overall! Finding out how to let admissions officers in on who you are as a person and a student and using that to prove that you are the perfect fit for the academic and cultural community at their school.

It’s a hefty task, but there is no doubt that you are up to it!

Ivy League essay prompts

Every year, the Ivy League schools offer essay prompts that applicants are expected to answer and return along with the rest of their application. These essay prompts can range in topic, length and style, but they are all meant to help the admissions officers determine whether or not a student would be a good fit at the school.

To help you get a better understanding of what these prompts tend to look like, we have gone back and gone through one prompt from all eight Ivy Leagues.

It is important to keep in mind that when it comes to Ivy League essays, the prompts can be quite different year to year!

There is no doubt that good college essays can come from any and all of these prompts. You will notice that Cornell is not listed below. The reason for this is because Cornell has many different essay prompts depending on which department a student is applying to.

Brown University essay prompt

Why are you drawn to the area(s) of study you indicated earlier in this application? (You may share with us a skill or concept that you found challenging and rewarding to learn, or any experiences beyond course work that may have broadened your interest.) (250 word limit)

What do you hope to experience at Brown through the Open Curriculum, and what do you hope to contribute to the Brown community? (250 word limit)

Columbia University essay prompt

List a few words or phrases that describe your ideal college community.(150 words or less)

List the titles of the required readings from courses during the school year or summer that you enjoyed most in the past year. (150 words or less)

List the titles of the books you read for pleasure that you enjoyed most in the past year. (150 words or less)

List the titles of the print, electronic publications and websites you read regularly. (150 words or less)

List the titles of the films, concerts, shows, exhibits, lectures and other entertainments you enjoyed most in the past year. (150 words or less)

Please tell us what you value most about Columbia and why. (300 words or less)

Dartmouth College essay prompt

While arguing a Dartmouth-related case before the U.S. Supreme Court in 1818, Daniel Webster, Class of 1801, delivered this memorable line: “It is, Sir…a small college. And yet, there are those who love it!” As you seek admission to the Class of 2023, what aspects of the College’s program, community or campus environment attract your interest?

Harvard University essay prompt

You may wish to include an additional essay if you feel that the college application forms do not provide sufficient opportunity to convey important information about yourself or your accomplishments. You may write on a topic of your choice, or you may choose from one of the following topics:

• Unusual circumstances in your life
• Travel, living, or working experiences in your own or other communities
• What you would want your future college roommate to know about you
• An intellectual experience (course, project, book, discussion, paper, poetry, or research topic in engineering, mathematics, science or other modes of inquiry) that has meant the most to you
• How you hope to use your college education
• A list of books you have read during the past twelve months

Princeton University essay prompt

In addition to the essay you have written for the Common Application, please write an essay of about 500 words (no more than 650 words and no fewer than 250 words). Using one of the themes below as a starting point, write about a person, event, or experience that helped you define one of your values or in some way changed how you approach the world. Please do not repeat, in full or in part, the essay you wrote for the Common Application.

• Tell us about a person who has influenced you in a significant way.
• “One of the great challenges of our time is that the disparities we face today have more complex causes and  point less straightforwardly to solutions.” Omar Wasow, assistant professor of politics, Princeton University . This quote is taken from Professor Willow’s January 2014 speech at the Martin Luther King Day celebration at Princeton University.
• “Culture is what presents us with the kinds of valuable things that can fill a life. And insofar as we can recognize the value in those things and make them part of our lives, our lives are meaningful.” Gideon Rosen, Stuart Professor of Philosophy and chair, Department of Philosophy, Princeton University .
• Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a starting point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation, title and author at the beginning of your essay.

University of Pennsylvania essay prompt

How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania? Please answer this question given the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying. (400-650 words)

Yale University essay prompt

What is it about Yale that has led you to apply? (125 words or fewer)

Please respond in no more than 200 characters (approximately 35 words), to each of the following questions:

• What inspires you?
• Yale’s residential colleges regularly host conversations with guests representing a wide range of experiences and accomplishments. What person, past or present, would you invite to speak? What question would you ask?
• You are teaching a Yale course. What is it called?
• Most first-year Yale students live in suites of four to six people. What do you hope to add to your suitemates’ experience? What do you hope they will add to yours?

What these prompts all have in common

Now that you have ready all of these essay prompts, chances are good that you are trying to identify what they all have in common.

When it comes to Ivy League essay prompts, and prompts from all colleges or universities for that matter, the goal is quite clear. These essays are working to help the students applying discuss five key aspects of themselves:

• Intellectual vitality
• Memorability

Each prompt listed above is designed, in one way or another, to help the student that is applying reflect on those key factors in a creative and unique way.

Without a doubt, one of the hardest aspects that high school students run into when crafting their Ivy League essays is how to incorporate those five important factors into essays that are often only a few hundred words long.

After all, students in high school spend a lot of time mastering the five-paragraph essay. To then be asked to write arguably the most important essays thus far in their life in just a few hundred pages can be really hard to adjust to.

Short Ivy League college essays that worked

So, to help prove that wonderful essays can indeed be written in under 300 words, we have found three prompts and responses that all come in at under 300 words total. Take a look!

While coming up with something that is unique to you is incredibly important, it is also important to keep what these schools are looking for in mind.

Take a look at these three successful college essay examples. This should help you get started pinpointing what Ivy League essays really look like.

Here are three sample college essays that worked for Ivy League schools.

Yale students, faculty, and alumni engage issues of local, national, and international importance. Discuss an issue that is significant to you and how your college experience could help you address it. (250 words)

A chaotic sense of sickness and filth unfolds in an overcrowded border station in McAllen, Texas. Through soundproof windows, migrants motion that they have not showered in weeks and children wear clothes caked in mucus and tears.

The humanitarian crisis at the southern border exists not only in photographs published by mainstream media, but miles from my home in South Texas.

As a daughter of immigrants, I have heard countless stories of migrants being turned away by a country they desperately seek to love. After seeing the abhorrent conditions migrants face upon arriving in the U.S., I began volunteering with Loaves and Fishes, an organization that shelters and provides necessities to undocumented immigrants.

This year, my experiences collecting donations and working at pop-up soup kitchens have made me realize that the communities in South Texas promote true American values of freedom and opportunity. The U.S. government, however, must do better.

During my university career, I aspire to learn how our immigration system can be positively reformed by considering the politics and economics that shape policy-making. Particularly, classes such as Institutional Design and Institutional Change will prepare me to effect change in existing institutions by analyzing various methods to bolster the economy.

Additionally, I hope to join the Yale Refugee Project that volunteers at the southern border and prepares asylum cases for court. With the numerous opportunities offered by YRP, I will be part of a generation of activists and lawmakers that builds a more empathetic immigration system.

Dartmouth  

The Hawaiian word mo’olelo is often translated as “story” but it can also refer to history, legend, genealogy, and tradition. Use one of these translations to introduce yourself. (250-300 words)

My earliest memory is spinning in circles with folk dancers in a flurry of gold, red, and green embroidered on black dresses. We weren’t in a dance hall, but in a gymnasium, twirling on three-point arcs and free throw lines.

The Bohemian Hall has tons of contradictions like that. In their beer garden, they serve chicken schnitzel and buffalo chicken wings, macaroni and cheese and tlacenka (head cheese). Happy drunken twenty-somethings pass by little kids and nobody thinks anything of it.

Like the Bohemian Hall, the apartment complex I grew up in had its own contradictions. Our Czech landlord, Jardo, was the stereotypical Slavic badass from the movies. Chatting up a crowd drinking their umpteenth Pilsners, he insulted a tenant that dared complain about asbestos in his apartment.

After all, asbestos only spreads if you cut the old pipes. Hung on the walls of Jardo’s basement were works of all shapes and sizes, from the lush, rolling hills of Moravian landscapes to the curves of the female body in… suggestive posters.

Jardo smelled of cigarettes and beer, which my mom told me to avoid at all costs. I wondered why she befriended him. But then I realized that he reminded her of home. We couldn’t go to the Bohemian Hall everyday, but we could always go to Jardo’s basement and talk about Czechoslovak celebrity gossip.

I am constantly brought back to my Slovak heritage, but it is influenced by the American lifestyle. I eat goulash at Thanksgiving dinner, speak a mix of English and Slovak (Slovglish?) with my great aunt, and say Na zdravie! instead of Cheers! when I drink champagne on New Year’s Day. My Slovak-American heritage was, and always will be, perfectly contradictory.

For applicants to Columbia College, please tell us what from your current and past experiences (either academic or personal) attracts you specifically to the field or fields of study that you noted in the Member Questions section. If you are currently undecided, please write about any field or fields in which you may have an interest at this time. (300 words)

The flickering LED lights began to form into the face of a man when I focused my eyes. The man spoke of a ruthless serial killer of the decade who had been arrested in 2004, and my parents shivered at his recounting of the case.

I curiously tuned in, wondering who he was to speak of such crimes with concrete composure and knowledge. Later, he introduced himself as a profiler named Pyo Chang Won, and I watched the rest of the program by myself without realizing that my parents had left the couch.

After watching the program, I recited the foreign word until it was no longer unfamiliar—”profiler”. I stayed up all-night searching for the meaning; my eyes sparkled with the dim light of the monitor as I read the tales of Pyo Chang Won and his Sherlock-like stories. From predicting the future of criminals and knowing the precise vicinity of a killer on the loose, he had saved countless lives; living in communities riddled with crimes in my youth then and even now, I dreamed of working against crimes.

However, the traditional path of a lawyer or a police officer only reinforced the three-step cycle of arrest, trial, and jail which continued with no fundamental changes for years; I wanted to work with the psyche of criminals beyond courts and wondered about the inner workings of the mind.

Such admiration and interest led me to invest my time in psychology. Combined with working with the likes of the Victim Witness Agency, I decided to pursue psychology as my major for my undergraduate education. Later on, I want to specialize my research and education on behavioral/forensic psychology and eventually branch out to my childhood dream of becoming a criminal profiler.

What to think about as your sit down to write your Ivy League essay

Now that you have taken a look at some fantastic essay prompts, as well as some responses to other prompts for Ivy League essays, your mind is probably swimming with great ideas! Read more about ivy league college essays that worked.

However, it is key that you keep some really important things in mind when you are looking at prompts and start to develop ideas on how you will answer prompts of your own.

To help with this, here are five great tips that can help any high school applicant write the best Ivy League essays that they are capable of.

Tip 1 – Don’t be afraid of detail

One thing that you likely noticed about the successful college essay examples that we provided is that they include a lot of detail.

This means keeping it specific to your life and your experience. Any student looking to write an essay up to the standard of Ivy League admissions officers need to make sure to avoid cliché and generalizations.

So, no matter what topic you decide on, make sure that you are drawing from your own personal life experiences. In the end, admissions officers aren’t looking for students who have necessarily lived an extraordinary life, but rather looking for students who can reflect upon their lives extraordinarily!

Tip 2 – Remember to stay humble

Some students who are trying to write Ivy League essays fall into a trap of sounding somewhat boastful. Even if they are not trying to brag, they can end up adopting that tone as they go into their accomplishments throughout high school.

However, students need to remember that the Common Application that they have filled out, their resume, and the other more tangible aspects of application will give the admissions officers and the committee enough insight into the student’s accomplishments.

So students should remember that there is no need to pile on when it comes to discussing your accomplishments.

In fact, essays can serve as a fantastic time for students to acknowledge any flaws, contradictions in their resume, or any uncertainty that they have about the process.

Tip 3 – Use fresh words to keep it interesting

Under no circumstances should students who are looking to write good college essays depend on the dictionary and thesaurus to try to make a boring essay more interesting just by using complex words. However, it can be quite useful to switch it up from a vocabulary standpoint to keep it fresh.

You don’t have to use fancy or formal language necessarily, but using a specific and diverse vocabulary will help your essay jump off the page.

Tip 4 – Make your message clear

If there is perhaps one of these tips that you simply have to follow, it is this one. Keeping your message clear and writing it with confidence is crucial to getting your overall idea across. It is also the best way to make sure that the admissions officers and committees reading your essays understand who you are as a person as best as possible!

Tip 5 – Read a lot (and not just essay examples)

It’s no mystery that reading makes people better writers. So, if you are looking to improve as a writer overall, make sure to add reading to your daily to-do list.

Whether you are reading poetry, historical non-fiction, fiction, or anything in between. Burying your face in a book or a Kindle is going to help you become a better writer. That won’t only help you craft the best college essays possible, but will also help you greatly once you start your undergraduate education and beyond!

Need help getting into top-tier colleges?

At AdmissionSight , one of the things that we work with students on most often is the essay writing process. It can trip students up and can get in the way of their desires to get into top schools.

Whether you are worried about your ability to craft fantastic essays, or simply want to learn about how we help our students reach their goals, contact us today to set up a free consultation.

Want to assess your chances of admission? Take our FREE chances calculator today!

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Band 5+: The charts below show information about UK students who did not go into full time work did after leaving college in 2008.

These bar charts show the graduate and postgraduate students in UK who did go into full-time work after leaving college in 2008. It clear from the graphs that compare the number of students in a four situation in the same year.

According to what is shown the destination of UK graduates in part-time work accounted 17,735 students, while in the postgraduates accounted 2,535, as you see, there is a big difference in a number of a students from the first to the second, also in further study graduated students recorded 29,665 and in the other hand, recorded 2,725 as well as, in unemployment had increased in a number of graduated students around 14,610. Then the voluntary work graduated had 3,500 but the second bar had 345.

To sum up, we can say there is increased in a number of students in first figure more than the second in year 2008.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate a band-9 sample answer, overall band score, task response, coherence & cohesion, lexical resource, grammatical range & accuracy, answers on the same topic:, the charts below show information about uk students who did not go into full time work did after leaving college in 2008..

The given diagrams express the work preference of graduates and postgraduates who did not choose to work full-time after finishing their colleges in the UK in 2008. Overall, further educational process ranked first both between graduates and postgraduates, and either side had voluntary work as the least favourable one. As for UK graduates, majority of […]

The provided bar charts illustrate the choices made by UK graduates and postgraduates, excluding full-time work, upon leaving college in 2008. Overall, among the options available to both graduate and postgraduate students, further study was the most popular choice. Additionally, a substantial number of graduates engaged in part-time work, while postgraduates predominantly pursued further study […]

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The graphs show changes in the spending habits of people in the UK between 1971 and 2001.

The graph illustrate the transformation of spending habits of the Great Britain people for the period of 30 year, starting at 1971. Looking for an overall perspective it is readily apparent that, while, In 1971 the proportion of people consume food habit is the highest value of this whole chart, whereas in 2001 this figure […]

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The first chart shows the population of England and Wales between 1700 and 2000. The second chart gives informstion about the birth and death rate in the same countries in the dame period Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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