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Applying to Graduate Programs

Writing Statements of Purpose and Other Application Essays

As noted in the application qualifications and admissions criteria section of this website, the statement of purpose (in other words, the primary application essay; sometimes also called personal statement , background statement , and other names) can play a major role in determining whether an applicant is invited to interview and in final selection decisions. Specifically, the statement can be used to assess the applicant’s fit with the program, match with faculty members, writing ability, and more. Thus, spending the time to craft a well-written statement of purpose or other types of application essays is necessary in order for your application to have a chance of succeeding. To help with this process, here we provide an overview of the process of writing such statements and other application essays.

Types of Statements of Purpose and Other Application Essays

Depending on the program, you may be required to provide a statement of purpose , application essay , autobiographical essay , personal statement , career goal statement, background statement , or other similarly named piece of writing. Each of these commonly is your opportunity to provide information about yourself beyond that communicated in the rest of your application materials. You may also be asked to provide supplementary essays such as a diversity statement.

Typically, graduate applications provide an essay prompt which includes specific questions or themes that you should address in the essay. Common themes include: 1,2

Your long-term career plans
Your research interests or areas of interest in psychology
Your reasons for choosing the program that you are applying to
Your prior research experiences
Your academic background or objectives
Your motivation for pursuing your field of study

It is common for programs to specify how the essay should be formatted, or at a minimum, its maximum length. For instance, an application essay may be stated to be “no longer than 2 double-spaced pages” or no more than 500 words. It is important to follow all directions and not exceed that limit.

Using the same exact essay for each application is not advised . 1,3 Each program typically has specific information that they are seeking, and if you do not directly address those details in your essay, your application will suffer. You may be able to reuse different parts of your application essays, but you should expect to have to write new material for each application.

Are there example statements of purpose that I should examine? A variety of online sources do contain example statements, and you can find links to example statements at the bottom of this page. However, application essays in general are unique to each individual – each person has a different set of experiences and different aspects that they may wish to emphasize. Moreover, writing an application essay that resembles someone else’s can result in that essay appearing derivative – and given the highly competitive application process, that is something you should avoid. Thus, examples are for reference only.

How to Write a Statement of Purpose and Other Application Essays

When writing an application essay, it can be helpful to rely on the following steps. Please note that these procedures represent a common approach for writing application essays; you may wish to adapt some of the steps, or use/add others, for best results. 1,3

1. Brainstorming/clustering

At this first stage, jot down your thoughts as you think of answers to the essay prompt. Try to think of themes that you wish to emphasize, as well as concrete examples that you may wish to describe in the essay. You can organize them into clusters (for example, write ideas in circles and draw connecting lines). Remember that the overall goal of the essay is to convince the admissions committee that you are an attractive candidate and a good fit for their program.

2. Outlining

This is an optional step. Take your brainstorming/clustering notes and organize them into an outline of how the essay will be structured. You might have a chronological structure that begins with your earlier experiences and advances towards your more recent activities. Alternatively, you may organize your essay around themes (for example, research topics). A common outline involves an opening paragraph, then discussion of academic accomplishments, research experience, other experiences, future plans and suitability for the program of interest, and a concluding paragraph. 4

3. Freewriting/initial draft

Often one of the biggest hurdles is just getting words on the page. The key here is to not worry about having your words sound perfectly the first time around. Try drafting several sentences, a paragraph or two, and see whether your thoughts translate well into prose. It is common at this stage to discard whole sections of text in favor of new material. At this conclusion of this process, you should aim to have a completed first draft.

4. Revising

It is easy to get burned out on writing, so after you have completed that first draft, set it aside for a while. Then, return with fresh eyes and read through it carefully. You are likely to find areas that need improvement – be sure to take notes or highlight them. It can help to read the essay out loud; a general rule is that if it sounds unusual when spoken aloud, it should be rewritten. Then, revise the essay.

5. Solicit feedback

Have another individual or individuals read your essays critically and provide feedback. Your mentor can be an ideal person to provide that feedback; alternatively, you might try a university writing center or your peers.

6. Revise and finalize your essay

Using the feedback and your own thoughts while reading the essay, edit it further until it is a polished product. Be sure to proofread, check formatting, and make sure that all aspects of the essay prompt are clearly and thoroughly addressed.

Statement of Purpose Do’s and Don’ts

Here are some recommended elements to include, strategies to try, and recommended elements or strategies to avoid. 1,3

Do emphasize your individual strengths
Do customize each statement to the program that you are submitting it to
Do provide specific examples of relevant experiences (such as research, coursework, etc.)
Do thoroughly address all aspects of the essay prompt
Do use clear topic sentences, connective words or phrases, and paragraph transitions (for more information, please see the improving scientific writing section of this website)
Do consider emphasizing your fit to the program that you are applying to
Do consider discussing faculty mentors of interest

Dont’s

Don’t use jokes, humor, or try to be funny
Don’t excessively self-disclose personal problems
Don’t be very general or vague in your research interests
Don’t include complaints and criticisms
Don’t use clichés such as “since my childhood I have always been interested in” or “I just want to help everyone”, unless you can genuinely and convincingly use them

Financial Aid, Fellowships, and Scholarship Application Essays

As you complete your graduate applications, you might also consider applying for financial aid or some sort of graduate research fellowship such as the Ford Foundation Fellowship or the National Science Foundation Graduate Research Fellowship . Such fellowships typically require a background statement that is similar in some aspects to the statement of purpose.

Workshops and Downloadable Resources

For in-person discussion of the process of applying to graduate programs in psychology, neuroscience, and related fields, please consider attending this department’s “Paths to PhDs” workshop and other related events (for dates and times, please check the undergraduate workshops calendar).
Tips for Applying to Graduate Programs in Psychology (a brief summary) [ PDF ]

Further Resources

How-To Videos

Applying to Grad School Videos

1 American Psychological Association (2007). Getting in: a step-by-step plan for gaining admission to graduate school in psychology .

2 norcross, j. c., & hogan, t. p. (2016). preparing and applying for graduate school in psychology: 12 modules. american psychological association [video workshop]., 3 keith-spiegel, p., & wiederman, m. w. (2000). the complete guide to graduate school admission: psychology, counseling, and related professions . psychology press., 4 rutgers university camden college of arts and sciences. writing a personal statement ., prepared by s. c. pan for ucsd psychology, graphic adapted with permission from leoncastro under creative commons attribution-share alike 4.0 international license..

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Our psychology UCAS personal statement examples below will inspire you to write your own unique statement, and help you understand how students have successfully applied for a psychology degree in the past.

What else can I find on this page?

What is a psychology personal statement?

How do i write a psychology personal statement, what should i include in my psychology personal statement.

How do I write my psychology personal statement introduction?

How do I write the conclusion for my psychology personal statement?

What can i do with a psychology degree.

What are the best UK universities for psychology?

A psychology personal statement is a creative piece of writing that demonstrates your skills, experience and hobbies/extracurricular activities and how they relate to a degree in psychology.

Psychology has always been a popular and therefore competitive subject, so you need to make sure your statement stands out from the crowd and is as polished as you can make it.

At Studential, we always recommend students start by making a series of notes about themselves, which they can then use to put together a coherent personal statement. These should include:

Specific aspects of the course that interest you
Examples of coursework or projects you have completed
Books, articles, etc. you have read related to the subject area
Work experience or voluntary work in this area
Conferences you have attended
Personal experiences that sparked your interest in this subject
What you hope to do once you have completed your degree in terms of your career
Experiences that show you are a reliable and responsible person, e.g. part-time job, small business enterprise, community and/or charity work, sixth form committee, helping out at school events, etc.

You also need to think about your interests and skills, such as hobbies, other languages you speak, etc. as well as your plans for a gap year (if you're planning on taking one).

Once you have written all these down, you think about your opening paragraph, and begin to get something down. It's a good idea to allocate at least one paragraph to each bullet point to make sure you've covered everything.

When you have your first draft in place, you can revise it and ask your family, friends and tutors for help. Incorporate any feedback, comments and suggestions they offer, and see if they improve your statement.

Keep redrafting until you feel it's as polished as possible - remember, you'll be facing some stiff competition!

The main aim of your personal statement is to show the admissions tutors why they should pick you to attend their course and university.
Look at the course content and link it to your personal qualities, future goals and achievements. For example, you might have done some work shadowing at a counselling clinic or peer mentoring at your school or college.
If you're applying for a joint honours, make sure you cover both subjects in the course.
For those applying for a postgraduate course, draw attention to any clinical work experience you've completed to demonstrate your expertise and knowledge in the subject.
Read our psychology personal statement examples above for inspiration on how to make yours a success (please don't plagiarise them!).
Remember to avoid using cliches, over-used words or phrases, humour, jokes, or taking any political or religious viewpoints.
Structure it with a clear introduction, middle and end. You only have 4,000 characters to sell yourself, so try to make every word count!

For more help and advice on what to write in your psychology personal statement, please see:

Personal Statement Editing Services
Personal Statement Tips From A Teacher
Analysis Of A Personal Statement
The 15th January UCAS Deadline: 4 Ways To Avoid Missing It
Personal Statement FAQs
Personal Statement Timeline
10 Top Personal Statement Writing Tips
What To Do If You Miss The 15th January UCAS Deadline.

How do I write a psychology personal statement introduction?

We recommend starting your psychology personal statement with either a story about how you came to be interested in the subject, or picking one or two aspects that you particularly enjoy and why you find them interesting. For example, the following applicant has chosen to talk about their childhood, and the consequences of their behaviour:

"Psychology encapsulates every aspect of our lives. From childhood, the reasons behind why we do what we do has fascinated me; and when I was disciplined for the type of mischief that one commits at a young age, my reasoning for my actions were always “To see what would happen.”

My parents mistook this as an act of mindless disobedience whereas it was in fact my first attempt at social psychology. Then, as I further discovered the leading figures in psychology, my knowledge and love of the intricacies of the human and animal mind grew."

These introductory paragraphs explain why the candidate is keen to pursue a course in psychology at university, while at the same time relating an engaging anecdote from their past, which helps to draw the reader in and make them want to read on further.

Another applicant who has submitted their statement to Studential has decided to talk about their Uncle, who has Asperger's Syndrome, and how they wondered why he was so different from everyone else:

"It was the odd behavioural traits displayed by my uncle, who has Asperger’s syndrome that first generated from a young age my questioning about why he acted so ‘differently’ to the rest of us.

This was part of what led to my interest of studying psychology, as it made me question how and why humans are so disparate from one another, and what part the brain plays in running our everyday lives."

Again, this provides an interesting hook for the reader, while demonstrating why they want to study psychology at a higher level.

These two examples should give you a good idea of how you might go about writing your own unique introduction to your psychology statement, but if you feel you need further inspiration, take a look at our list of over 100 psychology personal statement examples for more ideas.

To round off your personal statement, we suggest a paragraph or two about your extracurricular activies and hobbies, and how they have helped you to develop skills that will aid you with your psychology course at university. You may also wish to include a short sentence or two about your future ambitions or career plans, and how a degree in psychology will help you achieve these.

For example, this applicant has chosen to conclude their statement by talking about their current work experience and how it has improved their communication skills, along with their desire to complete a PhD once they've finished their undergraduate degree:

"I currently help people who struggle with language barriers by being a Spanish interpreter in different fields. Observing people from different age and cultural groups gave me first-hand experience considering the effects of stress due to the inability to communicate. This has, in addition to improving my communication skills, taught me how to deal with people from different social groups. I believe these interpersonal skills are valuable in the world of psychological research, in order to build rapport with participants in certain contexts. It has also taught me tolerance for others and the ability to remain poised during stressful situations. To culminate, in regards to my future career plans I would like to remain in further education and do a Phd in psychology- a step forward in my desired career as a researcher."

As another example, you can see how a candidate below chooses to talk to about their work experience with elderly people that have dementia, and how they want to improve their knowledge of the brain and their problem-solving skills:

"Subsequently, I did work experience at St Peter's residential care home. During my placement, I worked with nurses and kitchen staff to provide quality service to the elderly. I assisted in serving tea and lunch and also interacted with the elderly during social activities. This helped me to know how to interact with elderly people with dementia and gain a different perspective on elderly people.

I want to study psychology to further develop my knowledge in the scope of the brain, its anatomy and how it works. I want to learn how to work through problems carefully and logically applying scientific principles. Furthermore, I want to expand my awareness in all the different fields involved in the course, so that I can master any situation that I am presented with in my chosen field."

However you decide to conclude your statement, always try to relate it to the course you are applying for, i.e. psychology, and end on a positive, enthusiastic note that will make the admissions tutor want to make you an offer.

For more inspiration on how to write a conclusion, please take a look at our psychology personal statement examples .

For those with a psychology degree, there are many career options available, including:

Clinical psychologist
Counselling psychologist
Educational psychologist
Forensic psychologist
Further education teacher
Health psychologist
High intensity therapist
Occupational psychologist
Psychological wellbeing practitioner
Sport and exercise psychologist

Other career paths where a psychology degree could be useful include:

Advice worker
Border Force officer
UCAS Careers advice
Chaplain
Counsellor
Detective
Education consultant
Human resources officer
Life coach
Market researcher
Mediator
Neuroscientist
Play therapist
Policy officer
Psychotherapist
Special educational needs coordinator (SENCO)

For more help and advice on psychology careers, please see Prospects and the British Psychological Society .

What are the best universities for psychology?

Currently the best UK universities for studying psychology at are:

For more information about UK university rankings for psychology, please see The Guardian and The Complete University Guide .

Related resources

How to apply for a psychology degree.

Find out more

UCAS Pyschology Guide

Psychologist Careers

Types Of Psychology Degree

Psychology Personal Statement Writing

How to Write a Psychology Essay

Saul Mcleod, PhD

Editor-in-Chief for Simply Psychology

BSc (Hons) Psychology, MRes, PhD, University of Manchester

Saul Mcleod, PhD., is a qualified psychology teacher with over 18 years of experience in further and higher education. He has been published in peer-reviewed journals, including the Journal of Clinical Psychology.

Learn about our Editorial Process

Olivia Guy-Evans, MSc

Associate Editor for Simply Psychology

BSc (Hons) Psychology, MSc Psychology of Education

Olivia Guy-Evans is a writer and associate editor for Simply Psychology. She has previously worked in healthcare and educational sectors.

On This Page:

Before you write your essay, it’s important to analyse the task and understand exactly what the essay question is asking. Your lecturer may give you some advice – pay attention to this as it will help you plan your answer.

Next conduct preliminary reading based on your lecture notes. At this stage, it’s not crucial to have a robust understanding of key theories or studies, but you should at least have a general “gist” of the literature.

After reading, plan a response to the task. This plan could be in the form of a mind map, a summary table, or by writing a core statement (which encompasses the entire argument of your essay in just a few sentences).

After writing your plan, conduct supplementary reading, refine your plan, and make it more detailed.

It is tempting to skip these preliminary steps and write the first draft while reading at the same time. However, reading and planning will make the essay writing process easier, quicker, and ensure a higher quality essay is produced.

Components of a Good Essay

Now, let us look at what constitutes a good essay in psychology. There are a number of important features.

Global Structure – structure the material to allow for a logical sequence of ideas. Each paragraph / statement should follow sensibly from its predecessor. The essay should “flow”. The introduction, main body and conclusion should all be linked.
Each paragraph should comprise a main theme, which is illustrated and developed through a number of points (supported by evidence).
Knowledge and Understanding – recognize, recall, and show understanding of a range of scientific material that accurately reflects the main theoretical perspectives.
Critical Evaluation – arguments should be supported by appropriate evidence and/or theory from the literature. Evidence of independent thinking, insight, and evaluation of the evidence.
Quality of Written Communication – writing clearly and succinctly with appropriate use of paragraphs, spelling, and grammar. All sources are referenced accurately and in line with APA guidelines.

In the main body of the essay, every paragraph should demonstrate both knowledge and critical evaluation.

There should also be an appropriate balance between these two essay components. Try to aim for about a 60/40 split if possible.

Most students make the mistake of writing too much knowledge and not enough evaluation (which is the difficult bit).

It is best to structure your essay according to key themes. Themes are illustrated and developed through a number of points (supported by evidence).

Choose relevant points only, ones that most reveal the theme or help to make a convincing and interesting argument.

Knowledge and Understanding

Remember that an essay is simply a discussion / argument on paper. Don’t make the mistake of writing all the information you know regarding a particular topic.

You need to be concise, and clearly articulate your argument. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences.

Each paragraph should have a purpose / theme, and make a number of points – which need to be support by high quality evidence. Be clear why each point is is relevant to the argument. It would be useful at the beginning of each paragraph if you explicitly outlined the theme being discussed (.e.g. cognitive development, social development etc.).

Try not to overuse quotations in your essays. It is more appropriate to use original content to demonstrate your understanding.

Psychology is a science so you must support your ideas with evidence (not your own personal opinion). If you are discussing a theory or research study make sure you cite the source of the information.

Note this is not the author of a textbook you have read – but the original source / author(s) of the theory or research study.

For example:

Bowlby (1951) claimed that mothering is almost useless if delayed until after two and a half to three years and, for most children, if delayed till after 12 months, i.e. there is a critical period.

Maslow (1943) stated that people are motivated to achieve certain needs. When one need is fulfilled a person seeks to fullfil the next one, and so on.

As a general rule, make sure there is at least one citation (i.e. name of psychologist and date of publication) in each paragraph.

Remember to answer the essay question. Underline the keywords in the essay title. Don’t make the mistake of simply writing everything you know of a particular topic, be selective. Each paragraph in your essay should contribute to answering the essay question.

Critical Evaluation

In simple terms, this means outlining the strengths and limitations of a theory or research study.

There are many ways you can critically evaluate:

Methodological evaluation of research

Is the study valid / reliable ? Is the sample biased, or can we generalize the findings to other populations? What are the strengths and limitations of the method used and data obtained?

Be careful to ensure that any methodological criticisms are justified and not trite.

Rather than hunting for weaknesses in every study; only highlight limitations that make you doubt the conclusions that the authors have drawn – e.g., where an alternative explanation might be equally likely because something hasn’t been adequately controlled.

Compare or contrast different theories

Outline how the theories are similar and how they differ. This could be two (or more) theories of personality / memory / child development etc. Also try to communicate the value of the theory / study.

Debates or perspectives

Refer to debates such as nature or nurture, reductionism vs. holism, or the perspectives in psychology . For example, would they agree or disagree with a theory or the findings of the study?

What are the ethical issues of the research?

Does a study involve ethical issues such as deception, privacy, psychological or physical harm?

Gender bias

If research is biased towards men or women it does not provide a clear view of the behavior that has been studied. A dominantly male perspective is known as an androcentric bias.

Cultural bias

Is the theory / study ethnocentric? Psychology is predominantly a white, Euro-American enterprise. In some texts, over 90% of studies have US participants, who are predominantly white and middle class.

Does the theory or study being discussed judge other cultures by Western standards?

Animal Research

This raises the issue of whether it’s morally and/or scientifically right to use animals. The main criterion is that benefits must outweigh costs. But benefits are almost always to humans and costs to animals.

Animal research also raises the issue of extrapolation. Can we generalize from studies on animals to humans as their anatomy & physiology is different from humans?

The PEC System

It is very important to elaborate on your evaluation. Don’t just write a shopping list of brief (one or two sentence) evaluation points.

Instead, make sure you expand on your points, remember, quality of evaluation is most important than quantity.

When you are writing an evaluation paragraph, use the PEC system.

Make your P oint.
E xplain how and why the point is relevant.
Discuss the C onsequences / implications of the theory or study. Are they positive or negative?

For Example

Point: It is argued that psychoanalytic therapy is only of benefit to an articulate, intelligent, affluent minority.
Explain: Because psychoanalytic therapy involves talking and gaining insight, and is costly and time-consuming, it is argued that it is only of benefit to an articulate, intelligent, affluent minority. Evidence suggests psychoanalytic therapy works best if the client is motivated and has a positive attitude.
Consequences: A depressed client’s apathy, flat emotional state, and lack of motivation limit the appropriateness of psychoanalytic therapy for depression.

Furthermore, the levels of dependency of depressed clients mean that transference is more likely to develop.

Using Research Studies in your Essays

Research studies can either be knowledge or evaluation.

If you refer to the procedures and findings of a study, this shows knowledge and understanding.
If you comment on what the studies shows, and what it supports and challenges about the theory in question, this shows evaluation.

Writing an Introduction

It is often best to write your introduction when you have finished the main body of the essay, so that you have a good understanding of the topic area.

If there is a word count for your essay try to devote 10% of this to your introduction.

Ideally, the introduction should;

Identify the subject of the essay and define the key terms. Highlight the major issues which “lie behind” the question. Let the reader know how you will focus your essay by identifying the main themes to be discussed. “Signpost” the essay’s key argument, (and, if possible, how this argument is structured).

Introductions are very important as first impressions count and they can create a h alo effect in the mind of the lecturer grading your essay. If you start off well then you are more likely to be forgiven for the odd mistake later one.

Writing a Conclusion

So many students either forget to write a conclusion or fail to give it the attention it deserves.

If there is a word count for your essay try to devote 10% of this to your conclusion.

Ideally the conclusion should summarize the key themes / arguments of your essay. State the take home message – don’t sit on the fence, instead weigh up the evidence presented in the essay and make a decision which side of the argument has more support.

Also, you might like to suggest what future research may need to be conducted and why (read the discussion section of journal articles for this).

Don”t include new information / arguments (only information discussed in the main body of the essay).

If you are unsure of what to write read the essay question and answer it in one paragraph.

Points that unite or embrace several themes can be used to great effect as part of your conclusion.

The Importance of Flow

Obviously, what you write is important, but how you communicate your ideas / arguments has a significant influence on your overall grade. Most students may have similar information / content in their essays, but the better students communicate this information concisely and articulately.

When you have finished the first draft of your essay you must check if it “flows”. This is an important feature of quality of communication (along with spelling and grammar).

This means that the paragraphs follow a logical order (like the chapters in a novel). Have a global structure with themes arranged in a way that allows for a logical sequence of ideas. You might want to rearrange (cut and paste) paragraphs to a different position in your essay if they don”t appear to fit in with the essay structure.

To improve the flow of your essay make sure the last sentence of one paragraph links to first sentence of the next paragraph. This will help the essay flow and make it easier to read.

Finally, only repeat citations when it is unclear which study / theory you are discussing. Repeating citations unnecessarily disrupts the flow of an essay.

Referencing

The reference section is the list of all the sources cited in the essay (in alphabetical order). It is not a bibliography (a list of the books you used).

In simple terms every time you cite/refer to a name (and date) of a psychologist you need to reference the original source of the information.

If you have been using textbooks this is easy as the references are usually at the back of the book and you can just copy them down. If you have been using websites, then you may have a problem as they might not provide a reference section for you to copy.

References need to be set out APA style :

Author, A. A. (year). Title of work . Location: Publisher.

Journal Articles

Author, A. A., Author, B. B., & Author, C. C. (year). Article title. Journal Title, volume number (issue number), page numbers

A simple way to write your reference section is use Google scholar . Just type the name and date of the psychologist in the search box and click on the “cite” link.

Next, copy and paste the APA reference into the reference section of your essay.

Once again, remember that references need to be in alphabetical order according to surname.

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Home — Application Essay — National Universities — Why I Chose Psychology

Why I Chose Psychology

University: Stanford University

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Words: 664 |

Published: Feb 15, 2024

Words: 664 | Pages: 1 | 4 min read

Psychology has always intrigued me. It is a field that delves deep into the complexities of the human mind and behavior, providing insights into why people think, feel, and act the way they do. The multifaceted nature of psychology and its ability to make a positive impact on individuals and society as a whole are what led me to choose it as my major.

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From a young age, I found myself captivated by the intricate workings of the mind. I was fascinated by how different people perceived the world in unique ways, how their thoughts shaped their emotions, and how their behaviors could be influenced by various factors. As I grew older, this fascination only intensified, and I realized that psychology offered the perfect avenue to explore and understand these dynamics.

One of the aspects that drew me to psychology was its interdisciplinary nature. Psychology is not limited to a single perspective or approach; rather, it embraces a wide range of theories and methodologies. It incorporates elements from various fields such as biology, sociology, and philosophy, allowing for a comprehensive understanding of human behavior. This multidimensional approach excited me, as it meant that I could explore different facets of human nature and gain a broader perspective on the complexities of the human mind.

Moreover, psychology has significant real-world applications. By understanding the underlying causes and mechanisms of human behavior, psychologists can help individuals overcome challenges and improve their overall well-being. Whether it is working with individuals struggling with mental health issues, conducting research to develop effective therapies, or contributing to organizational development, psychology offers numerous opportunities to make a tangible difference in people’s lives.

Another reason why I chose psychology is its emphasis on critical thinking and research. Psychology encourages individuals to question existing assumptions and theories, to think critically about the evidence, and to develop research skills to investigate phenomena scientifically. This analytical and evidence-based approach appealed to my inquisitive nature and my desire to contribute to the advancement of knowledge in the field.

Furthermore, psychology opens doors to various career paths. It equips individuals with a diverse set of skills that are applicable in numerous professions. Whether it is counseling, research, human resources, or even marketing, the knowledge and skills gained through studying psychology can be transferred to a wide range of fields. This versatility of psychology ensures that my career options remain flexible and adaptable to changing circumstances.

Studying psychology at the college level will provide me with a solid foundation in the core principles of the field. I am excited about exploring different areas of psychology, such as cognitive psychology, social psychology, and abnormal psychology, among others. These courses will not only deepen my understanding of human behavior but also expose me to different research methodologies and theoretical frameworks.

In addition to the academic curriculum, I am eager to engage in hands-on experiences such as internships and research opportunities. These practical experiences will allow me to apply the knowledge I acquire in the classroom to real-life situations. Whether it is conducting experiments, assisting psychologists in clinical settings, or analyzing data, these experiences will enhance my understanding of psychology and further develop my research and analytical skills.

Ultimately, my goal is to contribute to the field of psychology by conducting research that sheds light on the complexities of human behavior and helps improve the lives of individuals. I aspire to pursue a graduate degree in psychology to specialize in a specific area and gain further expertise. This advanced education will enable me to delve deeper into the subject, conduct more comprehensive research, and contribute to the existing body of knowledge in the field.

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Choosing psychology as my major was a natural decision for me. It aligns with my passion for understanding human behavior, my desire to make a positive impact on individuals and society, and my love for critical thinking and research. I am excited about the knowledge and skills that I will gain through studying psychology and the countless opportunities that await me in this diverse and dynamic field.

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Tips for Writing an Effective Application Essay

Find the right college for you.

Writing an essay for college admission gives you a chance to use your authentic voice and show your personality. It's an excellent opportunity to personalize your application beyond your academic credentials, and a well-written essay can have a positive influence come decision time.

Want to know how to draft an essay for your college application ? Here are some tips to keep in mind when writing.

Tips for Essay Writing

A typical college application essay, also known as a personal statement, is 400-600 words. Although that may seem short, writing about yourself can be challenging. It's not something you want to rush or put off at the last moment. Think of it as a critical piece of the application process. Follow these tips to write an impactful essay that can work in your favor.

1. Start Early.

Few people write well under pressure. Try to complete your first draft a few weeks before you have to turn it in. Many advisers recommend starting as early as the summer before your senior year in high school. That way, you have ample time to think about the prompt and craft the best personal statement possible.

You don't have to work on your essay every day, but you'll want to give yourself time to revise and edit. You may discover that you want to change your topic or think of a better way to frame it. Either way, the sooner you start, the better.

2. Understand the Prompt and Instructions.

Before you begin the writing process, take time to understand what the college wants from you. The worst thing you can do is skim through the instructions and submit a piece that doesn't even fit the bare minimum requirements or address the essay topic. Look at the prompt, consider the required word count, and note any unique details each school wants.

3. Create a Strong Opener.

Students seeking help for their application essays often have trouble getting things started. It's a challenging writing process. Finding the right words to start can be the hardest part.

Spending more time working on your opener is always a good idea. The opening sentence sets the stage for the rest of your piece. The introductory paragraph is what piques the interest of the reader, and it can immediately set your essay apart from the others.

4. Stay on Topic.

One of the most important things to remember is to keep to the essay topic. If you're applying to 10 or more colleges, it's easy to veer off course with so many application essays.

A common mistake many students make is trying to fit previously written essays into the mold of another college's requirements. This seems like a time-saving way to avoid writing new pieces entirely, but it often backfires. The result is usually a final piece that's generic, unfocused, or confusing. Always write a new essay for every application, no matter how long it takes.

5. Think About Your Response.

Don't try to guess what the admissions officials want to read. Your essay will be easier to write─and more exciting to read─if you’re genuinely enthusiastic about your subject. Here’s an example: If all your friends are writing application essays about covid-19, it may be a good idea to avoid that topic, unless during the pandemic you had a vivid, life-changing experience you're burning to share. Whatever topic you choose, avoid canned responses. Be creative.

6. Focus on You.

Essay prompts typically give you plenty of latitude, but panel members expect you to focus on a subject that is personal (although not overly intimate) and particular to you. Admissions counselors say the best essays help them learn something about the candidate that they would never know from reading the rest of the application.

7. Stay True to Your Voice.

Use your usual vocabulary. Avoid fancy language you wouldn't use in real life. Imagine yourself reading this essay aloud to a classroom full of people who have never met you. Keep a confident tone. Be wary of words and phrases that undercut that tone.

8. Be Specific and Factual.

Capitalize on real-life experiences. Your essay may give you the time and space to explain why a particular achievement meant so much to you. But resist the urge to exaggerate and embellish. Admissions counselors read thousands of essays each year. They can easily spot a fake.

9. Edit and Proofread.

When you finish the final draft, run it through the spell checker on your computer. Then don’t read your essay for a few days. You'll be more apt to spot typos and awkward grammar when you reread it. After that, ask a teacher, parent, or college student (preferably an English or communications major) to give it a quick read. While you're at it, double-check your word count.

Writing essays for college admission can be daunting, but it doesn't have to be. A well-crafted essay could be the deciding factor─in your favor. Keep these tips in mind, and you'll have no problem creating memorable pieces for every application.

What is the format of a college application essay?

Generally, essays for college admission follow a simple format that includes an opening paragraph, a lengthier body section, and a closing paragraph. You don't need to include a title, which will only take up extra space. Keep in mind that the exact format can vary from one college application to the next. Read the instructions and prompt for more guidance.

Most online applications will include a text box for your essay. If you're attaching it as a document, however, be sure to use a standard, 12-point font and use 1.5-spaced or double-spaced lines, unless the application specifies different font and spacing.

How do you start an essay?

The goal here is to use an attention grabber. Think of it as a way to reel the reader in and interest an admissions officer in what you have to say. There's no trick on how to start a college application essay. The best way you can approach this task is to flex your creative muscles and think outside the box.

You can start with openers such as relevant quotes, exciting anecdotes, or questions. Either way, the first sentence should be unique and intrigue the reader.

What should an essay include?

Every application essay you write should include details about yourself and past experiences. It's another opportunity to make yourself look like a fantastic applicant. Leverage your experiences. Tell a riveting story that fulfills the prompt.

What shouldn’t be included in an essay?

When writing a college application essay, it's usually best to avoid overly personal details and controversial topics. Although these topics might make for an intriguing essay, they can be tricky to express well. If you’re unsure if a topic is appropriate for your essay, check with your school counselor. An essay for college admission shouldn't include a list of achievements or academic accolades either. Your essay isn’t meant to be a rehashing of information the admissions panel can find elsewhere in your application.

How can you make your essay personal and interesting?

The best way to make your essay interesting is to write about something genuinely important to you. That could be an experience that changed your life or a valuable lesson that had an enormous impact on you. Whatever the case, speak from the heart, and be honest.

Is it OK to discuss mental health in an essay?

Mental health struggles can create challenges you must overcome during your education and could be an opportunity for you to show how you’ve handled challenges and overcome obstacles. If you’re considering writing your essay for college admission on this topic, consider talking to your school counselor or with an English teacher on how to frame the essay.

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Why I Study Psychology (10 Essays)

Why I Study Psychology is a collection of short essays. Each student explains their motivation for choosing psychology.

Psychology students are often motivated by personal experiences and a wish for healthier, happier communities. The essays demonstrate the value from having a vision for your career – whether it’s detailed or “big picture” – before you start a psychology degree. Having a long-term goal in mind offers a reliable source of study motivation.

Why I Chose Psychology Essays

College student writing a psychology essay

As part of a national essay competition, current and future psychology students were asked to explain their study motivation. Each student describes in 250 words or less (a) why I chose psychology as a major and (b) how I’m motivated to succeed at psychology studies. The best, most inspiring essays are published here.

1. Motivation

We all know that there will almost always be something to do that sounds much more appealing than our studies, so why do we study if there is something better? Motivation, that’s why. Everyone has their own motivating factor that keeps them in line with studying. Mine is pretty general and that is my future.

I have dreams of becoming a psychologist and helping people throughout my life. I also have a huge passion for American Sign Language. I plan to merge these two goals into one for my future career. I don’t want to be just any psychologist, I want to be a psychologist that is open to Deaf people and hearing people alike. I want Deaf people to feel comfortable coming to me without the need of a third person interpreter who is usually a stranger . Many Deaf people feel uncomfortable visiting a psychologist because of the need for a third person. I plan to make a step towards breaking that barrier by being able to sign or speak with any patient who comes to me.

With all these huge goals I know that I have to be very on top of studies and make sure I continue to stay on track and do my best. All of these reasons put together make up my ideal future and therefore my motivation to study.

~ Hannah Reis, Palomar College

Related: Human Psychology: Study of Mind and Behavior

2. My Dream

We live in a world filled with hurt and suffering, and a place that is not equal for all. My dream is to leverage my unique set of skills, abilities, privileges, resources, and knowledge in a way that increases equality and privilege for all (not just people with white skin). I am pursuing a degree in Industrial and Organizational Psychology which combines psychology and business.

I feel most alive when I am volunteering with my family at The Christian Children’s Home of Ohio (CCHO) which is a non-profit orphanage for children. I love working with the children there, and it hurts my heart when I see them being forced to leave once they are eighteen without any further aid or support. Consequently, after gaining work experience in applying psychology principles to the business world, I intend to establish a non-profit organization . This entity will support young adults from foster care or orphanages, providing them with essential skills and emotional support as they transition to adulthood. Once they have turned eighteen the government will no longer provide very much aid to them; I want to supply them with the additional skills and services that they need to make it in the real world, and give them the emotional support that they may not have.

One of the main services I want to provide them is taking them to do mission work because the best way to grow as a person and gain perspective is through service and travel. When college gets hard, I hold on tight to this dream because I know my studies will help me achieve this dream.

~ Alyssa Powers, The University of Akron

Related: Different Fields of Psychology Study

3. A Catalyst for Change

The incredible transformation I have experienced through the power of therapeutic relationships motivates me to immerse myself in my studies and move closer towards my goal of becoming a psychologist. Recognizing how the quality of my own life has been profoundly enhanced by self-reflection, the invaluable lesson of how to learn from suffering, and coming to a deeper understanding of who I am, encourages me to try and be a catalyst for this kind of change in other’s lives. I’m motivated to empower people to feel confident enough in who they are that they don’t feel the need to bring others down.

When life as a student feels exceptionally challenging, I remind myself of the impact that the work I wish to practice has on people’s lives and those around them. I strongly believe large scale change happens on the individual level first, and if we want to see a world where we value the earth and all the people living on it, we have to do the work with ourselves first. I want to help people in their transformation towards becoming more unconditionally loving, tolerant, and compassionate people . I think when people are more comfortable with, and accepting of, who they are, they are consequently kinder and more loving towards those around them. Encouraging this kind of growth first on an individual level, and ultimately on a global level, motivates me to not only get through, but thrive within my program.

~ Hannah Freund, California Institute of Integral Studies

Related: What Does a Psychologist Do?

4. Reshaping Mental Health

People who are given psychiatric diagnoses experience some of the worst prejudice and discrimination. They are more likely to be the victims of violence, have a harder time securing jobs and housing, and constantly come face-to-face with the harmful stereotypes that state that these individuals are violent and unpredictable. As such, much research needs to be done to understand the cause of such distress, as well as to develop effective interventions and achieve healthy minds.

Our current mental health paradigm, which views distress as primarily biological and best treated medically, has unfortunately increased stigma and disability rates related to mental health. I was one of the fortunate few who was able to pursue a college degree despite being given a severe diagnosis and a hopeless prognosis. However, I know that much of my success has been due to luck and privilege, and the opportunities that I have been afforded are an exception, not a rule. I am striving to change that.

It is my hope that, through increased research and advocacy, society can come to understand that extreme distress is often a message about something that is wrong in a person’s world, and as such, is profoundly meaningful and can be understood. Furthermore, by understanding the psychosocial origins of distress – trauma, poverty, inequality, etc. – we can refocus upstream and create policies that protect against these stressors in the first place.

~ name withheld, Mount Holyoke College

Related: Is Psychology a STEM Major? Science vs Social Science

5. C’s Get Degrees

It is said that “C’s get degrees”, but that isn’t enough for me. C’s show an average amount of work, an average amount of time, an average amount of effort. “Average” is not something that I want to be known as. I want to be known as the girl who kept moving forward, went above and beyond, and never looked back. My driving force is making my family proud and reaching my ultimate goal—becoming a school psychologist.

I am the very first in my family to attend college. Every time the topic of school or my future is mentioned, I can see on their faces that they are overwhelmed with pride. When I received my Associate’s degree, seeing my grandpa cry made me realize how special my academic journey is to them. They have given up so much and have supported me in every way, making them proud is the very least I could do in return.

Becoming a school psychologist has been my dream career since I was in middle school. The thought of being able to connect and help a child grow both academically and socially is the greatest reward I could ever receive . Every time I am procrastinating typing a paper, not studying when I know I should have, or wanting to give up on a difficult problem, I think about my end goal. Making a difference to even just one child will make all of school worth it.

~ Haleigh Cordeiro, California Polytechnic State University

Related: How Long Does It Take to Get a Psychology Degree?

6. Find Your Unconscious

General psychology illustrated by mind symbol held up in front of crowd of people

Psychologists have discovered reasons, stages, and correlations among our biopsychosocial make-up. Over the centuries, they have managed to explain why humans experience what occurs in everyday life. They provide answers when we have questions about ourselves; it is for this reason that I strive to major in psychology.

I believe that I can make people in my environment, as well as myself, healthier by providing some sense of clarity whenever life situations become foggy. My dream is to someday become a successful industrial-psychologist. Why not a clinical psychologist, you might ask? While working one-on-one with individuals who are struggling would definitely be rewarding, I believe I can have a greater impact by helping larger groups . This dream of mine to become an industrial-psychologist would allow me to make the environment of common day people the most comfortable and enjoyable one.

Through the study of psychology, I will be able to know what qualities are the most necessary to enrich the daily lives of people and ensure that I apply them to my work. What drives me? The fact that I have seen psychologists help my family make sense of one of the most difficult things that we have gone through. Psychologists helped my sister facing anorexia nervosa deal with her disorder and helped my family become a strong support system to aid my sister’s recuperation. I want to know that I can help other people, psychology will open the doors to this dream of mine.

~ Iridian, Cal State University of Long Beach

Related: Clinical Psychologist

7. My Dream

Over 22 million children in the United States do not live with their biological mother and father and reside with their grandparents. This means that 3 percent of children living in America face the same situation as me. My father and mother were teenagers when they had me, so raising a baby girl was a difficult task for them. Neither of my parents went to college either, so having me took a toll on their lives. For the both of them, college was an opportunity to better their education and be successful, but with me, that would have been harder for them. Living with my grandparents was the best option for me.

I am currently experiencing teenage life and I can understand why raising a child, when you are only a child yourself, is a daunting responsibility. I commend my parents for choosing to provide a better life for me, actively shielding me from adversity and their own struggles. When I enter college, my goal is not just to pass my classes, it is to make something of myself . I know my parents would want that for me.

My dream is to work up to my doctorate and become a psychiatrist, fulfilling every opportunity and experience that comes my way. Psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung once said “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become”, and through my hardship, I choose to overcome and prepare for my destiny.

~ Nina Grizzle

Related: How to Become a Psychologist

8. Art Therapy

My love for psychology began my junior year when I took the AP course. What was supposed to be a schedule-filling elective credit accidentally grew into a genuine fascination. I found myself going above and beyond the curriculum purely out of curiosity . My interest in what we were discussing in class every day would often send me down long, thought-provoking paths that motivated me to hunt down explanations to the answers of questions I didn’t know I had. But once I had the answers, they seemed to be demanding further explanation, and I was always more than happy to oblige.

With my future education in this field, I aim to innovate art therapy techniques that directly aid individuals with mental disorders and cognitive declines. I feel that experimenting with the effects that art has on people’s brain chemistry will open up a new type of therapy that can be clinically prescribed. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, approximately 52.9 million adults in the United States suffer from mental illnesses. This new form of therapy could possibly improve the mental state of the millions of people impacted while inspiring the creation of art.

~ Taylor Himes, University of Texas San Antonio

Related: Psychology Symbol Ψ (Psi or Trident): Greek Text and Images

9. If You Put Your Mind To It

For as long as I can remember, I knew that I wanted to make a difference in the world. I knew that the first step was to attend an accredited university, and that university happens to be Michigan State. I went into college with the dream of becoming a doctor, however, I had a change of heart.

At the beginning of my freshmen year, the unthinkable happened. My dad committed suicide. My world came crashing down. It was a complete shock. My dad always kept all his feelings masked. I never knew what he was going through, and everyday I regret not paying closer attention. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about him. If only I had known. I could’ve done something. That experience then motivated me to change my major to psychology.

I’ve always wanted to make a difference, and now I know exactly how to achieve that dream. I aim to support those enduring what my dad went through. I want to be there for them, to help them overcome their inner demons. I want to let them know that their lives are worth living. Losing a family member to suicide is one of the most detrimental events that anyone can ever endure, and if I can one day prevent someone from experiencing that, then I would have accomplished my goal; I will make a difference.

~ Kayla Harper, Michigan State University

Related: Is Psychology a Hard Major?

10. Motivated by God to Help Others

I’ve heard from so many different people how difficult college can be. Late nights, big tests, difficult and early classes, that doesn’t even sound like fun. The only thing that keeps me moving towards college is the idea of being able to help other people when I graduate.

In December of 2016 I travelled halfway around the world to the Philippines. While I was there I met 15 wonderful children with horrible backgrounds. The love these children missed out on for so many years is heartbreaking. My future goal is to study Psychology and Religion at Liberty University.

The dream that keeps me motivated to go back to school is the chance to help many , not just children, but anyone who needs a listening ear and a voice to discuss their problems. People need more people to care and who want to listen. If people would feel the love that God made for them this world would be a much better place.

~ Trinity Rake, Liberty University

Related: Difference Between Counselling and Psychology

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Tips for Writing Psychology Papers

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Emily is a board-certified science editor who has worked with top digital publishing brands like Voices for Biodiversity, Study.com, GoodTherapy, Vox, and Verywell.

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Writing in psychology is formal, concise, and straightforward. When writing a psychology paper, avoid using metaphors, anecdotes, or narrative. Your paper should be well-cited and the point should be clear. In almost all cases, you will need to structure your paper in a specific way and follow the rules of APA format.

Learn more about writing in psychology and how to write a psychology paper.

The Importance of Writing in Psychology

Writing is important in psychology because the study and practice of psychology involves complex concepts. Writing is an important way to note observations, communicate new ideas, and support theories.

Most psychology courses require a significant amount of writing, including essays, case studies, research reports, and other papers . Start by viewing each class assignment as an opportunity to learn and practice. Check out resources offered by your school, such as tutors or writing labs, and learn more about the different types of psychology writing.

The following resources offer tips, guidelines, and advice on how to write psychology papers. If you are struggling with writing a psychology paper, following some of the guidelines below may help.

Basic Tips for Writing a Psychology Paper

If you have never written a psychology paper before, you need to start with the basics. Psychology writing is much like other types of writing, but most instructors will have special requirements for each assignment.

When writing a psychology paper, you will be expected to follow a few specific style guidelines. Some important tips to keep in mind include:

Back up your words and ideas with evidence. Your work should be well-cited using evidence from the scientific literature. Avoid expressing your opinion or using examples from your own life.
Use clear, concise language. Get directly to the point and make sure you are making logical connections between your arguments and conclusions and the evidence you cite.
Avoid literary devices. Metaphors, anecdotes, and other literary devices you may have used in other types of writing aren't appropriate when you are writing a psychology paper.
Use the correct format. Most psychology writing uses APA style, but your instructor may have additional formatting requirements.
Check the rubric. Before you start a psychology paper, you'll need to learn more about what you should write about, how you should structure your paper, and what type of sources you should use. Always check the grading rubric for an assignment before you begin writing and brush up on the basics.

Types of Psychology Writing

There are a few different types of psychology papers you may be asked to write. Some examples and how to write them are listed below.

How to Write a Psychology Case Study

Students taking courses in abnormal psychology , child development , or psychotherapy will often be expected to write a case study on an individual—either real or imagined. Case studies vary somewhat, but most include a detailed history of the client, a description of the presenting problem, a diagnosis, and a discussion of possible treatments.

This type of paper can be both challenging and interesting. You will get a chance to explore an individual in great depth and find insights into their behaviors and motivations. Before you begin your assignment, learn more about how to write a psychology case study .

How to Write a Psychology Lab Report

Lab reports are commonly assigned in experimental or research-based psychology courses. The structure of a lab report is very similar to that of a professional journal article, so reading a few research articles is a good way to start learning more about the basic format of a lab report.

There are some basic rules to follow when writing a psychology lab report. Your report should provide a clear and concise overview of the experiment, research, or study you conducted. Before you begin working on your paper, read more about how to write a psychology lab report .

How to Write a Psychology Critique Paper

Psychology critique papers are often required in psychology courses, so you should expect to write one at some point in your studies. Your professor may expect you to provide a critique on a book, journal article , or psychological theory .

Students sometimes find that writing a critique can actually be quite challenging. How can you prepare for this type of assignment? Start by reading these tips and guidelines on how to write a psychology critique paper .

Remember to Edit Your Psychology Paper

Before you turn in any type of psychology writing, it is vital to proofread and edit your work for errors, typos, and grammar. Do not just rely on your computer's spellchecker to do the job! Always read thoroughly through your paper to remove mistakes and ensure that your writing flows well and is structured logically.

Finally, always have another person read your work to spot any mistakes you may have missed. After you have read something so many times, it can become difficult to spot your own errors. Getting a fresh set of eyes to read through it can be very helpful. Plus, your proofreader can ask questions and point out areas that might not be clear to the reader.

Know the Rules of APA Format

Not learning APA format is a mistake that costs points for many students. APA format is the official style of the American Psychological Association and is used in many different types of science writing, especially the social sciences. Before you hand in any writing assignment, always double-check your page format, in-text citations, and references for correct APA format. If you need directions or examples, check out this guide to APA format .

A Word From Verywell

Writing psychology papers is an important part of earning a degree in psychology. Even non-majors often find themselves writing such papers when taking general education psychology classes. Fortunately, paying attention to the directions provided by your instructor, familiarizing yourself with APA style, and following some basic guidelines for different types of psychology papers can make the process much easier.

Levitt HM. Reporting qualitative research in psychology: How to meet APA style journal article reporting standards . American Psychological Association; 2020. doi:10.1037/0000179-000

Willemsen J, Della Rosa E, Kegerreis S. Clinical case studies in psychoanalytic and psychodynamic treatment . Front Psychol . 2017;8:108. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00108

Klein RM, Saint-Aubin J. What a simple letter-detection task can tell us about cognitive processes in reading . Curr Dir Psychol Sci . 2016;25(6):417-424. doi:10.1177/0963721416661173

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

10 Tips for Writing a College Admissions Essay

Weighted more heavily than ever before, the college essay is essential..

Posted November 24, 2021 | Reviewed by Abigail Fagan

College admission essays are more important than ever before.
With most schools now test-optional, it is imperative to stand out in your written responses.
Time management skills, brainstorming time, a classic style, and extensive research can help produce a strong essay.

Game on! It’s the fall of your senior year of high school and you are ready to apply for college. Or are you? The process actually begins well before.

Weighted more heavily than ever before, the college essay is essential. With most schools now test-optional and applicant numbers rising, this is one area where you can shine. So, flex – it’s time to show off… but also remain humble. How is that possible? A mix of preparation and strategy.

Based on my extensive experience, here are my top 10 tips to shine through a college essay:

1. Kill Your Drafts. Prepare to compose many, many drafts of the same essay, and don’t ever go with your first one. Prepare to toss out 90% of your first draft. I’m a professional writer, and I never get my first, fifth, or even 10th draft right. Accept the process — no shortcuts. On a first draft, you usually answer the prompt 75% in. Editing is also necessary because you will be repurposing your core essays for multiple schools.

2. Time Management . Set aside chunks of time on weekends and create deadlines for yourself. Hold yourself accountable. It’s about time management — you will need to master this skill to be successful once admitted to college. Think ahead about when you will be busy. The summer between junior and senior years is pivotal. Set your own deadlines and stick to them.

3. Persuade, Inform, Entertain. Admissions officers read thousands of answers to the same essay prompts. Put yourself in their shoes. How can you be memorable? By being different. This means: Get to the point! Tell your story in a self-aware and captivating way. The very first word must be a hook. Application essays are meant to entertain as much as inform, persuade and show off your creativity , intelligence , writing ability, efficiency, and self-awareness.

4. Stand Up and Stand Out. There is no other you. We each have our own stories. So think about the elements in your life that in combination and/or individually make you you. Always show (NEVER tell) your values, grit, and determination.

5. Mentors Are Key. Find a mentor to advise you through the writing process. Even if you are lucky enough to have a college counselor, if you attend a typical U.S. public high school, you are one of hundreds of that particular counselors' students. As much as they love to help you, they just don’t have the bandwidth nor do they have this specific training. (College counseling is an entire industry with countless advisors and price points. So do your research to find someone you can work with well ahead of your senior year).

6. Flex the Brain. Brainstorm exercises are a must to mine your memory for relevant, interesting stories to share. They help you gain the awareness necessary to understand your values, struggles, fears, motivators, and inspirations to share with the admissions committee. What transformative events have occurred in your life? What lessons have you learned? Produce a list of touchpoints that include your favorite quotations, books, classes, foods, and more.

7. Be Active. It will be too late to join a club and become its president in the fall of senior year, so it is important to pursue extracurricular interests well beforehand. Colleges often require an extracurricular activities resume in which you detail:

Type of activity (athletics, arts, work, etc)
Participation grade levels
Timing of participation (during school year, summers, etc)
Hours per week and weeks per year
An interest for which activities you wish to continue in college

Think of every activity you are involved in through the lens of contribution. How do you contribute to your teammates, team, school, or larger community? And how will this transfer to your new college environment?

8. Have a Timeless Style. The key to entertaining an admissions officer is to create a jazzy, well-paced essay. As you know, we have all lost our attention spans. We quickly flick through shows and have become attuned to TikToks. Don’t let this happen to your application. Have fun with word choice, onomatopoeia, poetic verse, italics, dialogue, zeitgeisty references, made up words, and lyrics.

9. Do Your Research. Figure out the factors that are important (or not) to you: geography, size, areas of study, professor-student ratios, and more. You can read the university rankings but take them with a huge grain of salt. The factors they take into account may not resonate with you. For example, do you care about their athletic facilities? Get in touch with current students and alumni to learn more about the school – use LinkedIn. Of the 4,000+ schools out there, certainly a handful will be the “the perfect fit” for you.

10. Befriend Teachers . Build solid relationships with your high school teachers junior year — especially with math and English teachers who will be writing your recommendations. Create a resume/CV for them so they know who you are outside of the classroom. Teachers can always add a supportive and new dimension to your application that you as the applicant could never capture.

Most importantly, enjoy this process. You are embarking on an opportunity you have been working toward your entire lifetime. Mobilize your resources, roll up your sleeves, and good luck!

Teru Clavel writes about comparative international education, and author of World Class: One Mother's Journey Halfway Around the Globe in Search of the Best Education for Her Children.

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21 Stellar Common App Essay Examples to Inspire Your College Essay

What’s covered:, what makes a good common app essay, is your common app essay strong enough.

When you begin writing your Common App essay, having an example to look at can help you understand how to effectively write your college essay so that it stands apart from others.

These Common App essay examples demonstrate a strong writing ability and answer the prompt in a way that shows admissions officers something unique about the student. Once you’ve read some examples and are ready to get started, read our step-by-step guide for how to write a strong Common App essay.

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized.

Read our Common App essay breakdown to get a comprehensive overview of this year’s supplemental prompts.

It’s Personal

The point of the Common App essay is to humanize yourself to a college admissions committee. The ultimate goal is to get them to choose you over someone else! You will have a better chance of achieving this goal if the admissions committee feels personally connected to you or invested in your story. When writing your Common App essay, you should explore your feelings, worldview, values, desires, and anything else that makes you uniquely you.

It’s Not Cliché

It is pretty easy to resort to clichés in college essays. This should be actively avoided! CollegeVine has identified the immigrant’s journey, sports injuries, and overcoming a challenging course as cliché topics . If you write about one of these topics, you have to work harder to stand out, so working with a more nuanced topic is often safer and easier.

It’s Well-Done

Colleges want good writers. They want students who can articulate their thoughts clearly and concisely (and creatively!). You should be writing and rewriting your essays, perfecting them as you go. Of course, make sure that your grammar and spelling are impeccable, but also put in time crafting your tone and finding your voice. This will also make your essay more personal and will make your reader feel more connected to you!

It’s Cohesive

Compelling Common App essays tell a cohesive story. Cohesion is primarily achieved through effective introductions and conclusions , which often contribute to the establishment of a clear theme or topic. Make sure that it is clear what you are getting at, but also don’t explicitly state what you are getting at—a successful essay speaks for itself.

Common App Essay Examples

Here are the current Common App prompts. Click the links to jump to the examples for a specific prompt, or keep reading to review the examples for all the prompts.

Prompt #1 : Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Prompt #2 : The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

Prompt #3 : Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

Prompt #4 : Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you? (NOTE: We only have an example for the old prompt #4 about solving a problem, not this current one)

Prompt #5 : Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Prompt #6 : Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

Prompt #7 : Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Note: Names have been changed to protect the identity of the author and subjects.

Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Prompt #1, example #1.

The room was silent except for the thoughts racing through my head. I led a spade from my hand and my opponent paused for a second, then played a heart. The numbers ran through my mind as I tried to consider every combination, calculating my next move. Finally, I played the ace of spades from the dummy and the rest of my clubs, securing the contract and 620 points when my partner ruffed at trick five. Next board.

It was the final of the 2015 United States Bridge Federation Under-26 Women’s Championship. The winning team would be selected to represent the United States in the world championship and my team was still in the running.

Contract bridge is a strategic and stochastic card game. Players from around the world gather at local clubs, regional events, and, in this case, national tournaments.

Going into the tournament, my team was excited; all the hours we had put into the game, from the lengthy midnight Skype sessions spent discussing boards to the coffee shop meetings spent memorizing conventions together, were about to pay off.

Halfway through, our spirits were still high, as we were only down by fourteen international match points which, out of the final total of about four hundred points, was virtually nothing and it was very feasible to catch up. Our excitement was short-lived, however, as sixty boards later, we found that we had lost the match and would not be chosen as the national team.

Initially, we were devastated. We had come so close and it seemed as if all the hours we had devoted to training had been utterly wasted. Yet as our team spent some time together reflecting upon the results, we gradually realized that the true value that we had gained wasn’t only the prospect of winning the national title, but also the time we had spent together exploring our shared passion. I chatted with the winning team and even befriended a few of them who offered us encouragement and advice.

Throughout my bridge career, although I’ve gained a respectable amount of masterpoints and awards, I’ve realized that the real reward comes from the extraordinary people I have met. I don’t need to travel cross-country to learn; every time I sit down at a table whether it be during a simple club game, a regional tournament or a national event, I find I’m always learning.

I nod at the pair that’s always yelling at each other. They teach me the importance of sportsmanship and forgiveness.

I greet the legally blind man who can defeat most of the seeing players. He reminds me not to make excuses.

I chat with the friendly, elderly couple who, at ages ninety and ninety-two, have just gotten married two weeks ago. They teach me that it’s never too late to start anything.

I talk to the boy who’s attending Harvard and the girl who forewent college to start her own company. They show me that there is more than one path to success.

I congratulate the little kid running to his dad, excited to have won his very first masterpoints. He reminds me of the thrill of every first time and to never stop trying new things.

Just as much as I have benefitted from these life lessons, I aspire to give back to my bridge community as much as it has given me. I aspire to teach people how to play this complicated yet equally as exciting game. I aspire to never stop improving myself, both at and away from the bridge table.

Bridge has given me my roots and dared me to dream. What started as merely a hobby has become a community, a passion, a part of my identity. I aspire to live selflessly and help others reach their goals. I seek to take risks, embrace all results, even failure, and live unfettered from my own doubt.

This student draws readers in with a strong introduction. The essay starts ambiguous—“I led with a spade”—then intrigues readers by gradually revealing more information and details. This makes the reader want to keep reading (which is super important!) As the writer continues, there is a rather abrupt tone shift from suspenseful to explanatory with statements like “It was the final of the 2015 United States Bridge Federation Under-26 Women’s Championship” and “Contract bridge is a strategic and stochastic card game.” If you plan to start with an imagery-heavy, emotional, suspenseful, or dramatic introduction, you will need to transition to the content of your essay in a way that does not feel abrupt.

You will often hear that essays need to “show, not tell.” This essay actually does both. First, the student tells readers the importance of bridge, saying “we gradually realized that the true value that we had gained wasn’t only the prospect of winning the national title, but also the time we had spent together exploring our shared passion” and “I’ve realized that the real reward comes from the extraordinary people I have met.” Then, the student shows the lessons they have learned from bridge through a series of parallel sentences: “I nod… sportsmanship and forgiveness” “I greet… not to make excuses” “I chat… it’s never too late to start anything” and so on. This latter strategy is much more effective than the former and is watered down because the student has already told us what we are supposed to get out of these sentences. Remember that your readers are intelligent and can draw their own conclusions. Avoid summarizing the moral of your story for them!

Overall, this essay is interesting and answers the prompt. We learn the importance of bridge to this student. The student has a solid grasp of language, a high-level vocabulary, and a valuable message, though they would be better off if they avoided summarizing their point and created more seamless transitions.

Prompt #1, Example #2

Growing up, I always wanted to eat, play, visit, watch, and be it all: sloppy joes and spaetzle, Beanie Babies and Steiff, Cape Cod and the Baltic Sea, football and fussball, American and German.

My American parents relocated our young family to Berlin when I was three years old. My exposure to America was limited to holidays spent stateside and awfully dubbed Disney Channel broadcasts. As the few memories I had of living in the US faded, my affinity for Germany grew. I began to identify as “Germerican,” an ideal marriage of the two cultures. As a child, I viewed my biculturalism as a blessing. I possessed a native fluency in “Denglisch” and my family’s Halloween parties were legendary at a time when the holiday was just starting to gain popularity outside of the American Sector.

Insidiously, the magic I once felt in loving two homes was replaced by a deep-rooted sense of rootlessness. I stopped feeling American when, while discussing World War II with my grandmother, I said “the US won.” She corrected me, insisting I use “we” when referring to the US’s actions. Before then, I hadn’t realized how directly people associated themselves with their countries. I stopped feeling German during the World Cup when my friends labeled me a “bandwagon fan” for rooting for Germany. Until that moment, my cheers had felt sincere. I wasn’t part of the “we” who won World Wars or World Cups. Caught in a twilight of foreign and familiar, I felt emotionally and psychologically disconnected from the two cultures most familiar to me.

After moving from Berlin to New York at age fifteen, my feelings of cultural homelessness thrived in my new environment. Looking and sounding American furthered my feelings of dislocation. Border patrol agents, teachers, classmates, neighbors, and relatives all “welcomed me home” to a land they could not understand was foreign to me. Americans confused me as I relied on Urban Dictionary to understand my peers, the Pledge of Allegiance seemed nationalistic, and the only thing familiar about Fahrenheit was the German after whom it was named. Too German for America and too American for Germany, I felt alienated from both. I wanted desperately to be a member of one, if not both, cultures.

During my first weeks in Scarsdale, I spent my free time googling “Berlin Family Seeks Teen” and “New Americans in Scarsdale.” The latter search proved most fruitful: I discovered Horizons, a nonprofit that empowers resettled refugees, or “New Americans,” to thrive. I started volunteering with Horizon’s children’s programs, playing with and tutoring young refugees.

It was there that I met Emily, a twelve-year-old Iraqi girl who lived next to Horizons. In between games and snacks, Emily would ask me questions about American life, touching on everything from Halloween to President Obama. Gradually, my confidence in my American identity grew as I recognized my ability to answer most of her questions. American culture was no longer completely foreign to me. I found myself especially qualified to work with young refugees; my experience growing up in a country other than that of my parents’ was similar enough to that of the refugee children Horizons served that I could empathize with them and offer advice. Together, we worked through conflicting allegiances, homesickness, and stretched belonging.

Forging a special, personal bond with young refugees proved a cathartic outlet for my insecurities as it taught me to value my past. My transculturalism allowed me to help young refugees integrate into American life, and, in doing so, I was able to adjust myself. Now, I have an appreciation of myself that I never felt before. “Home” isn’t the digits in a passport or ZIP code but a sense of contentedness. By helping a young refugee find comfort, happiness, and home in America, I was finally able to find those same things for myself.

Due to their endearing (and creative) use of language—with early phrases like “sloppy joes and spaetzle” as well as “Germerican” and “Denglisch”—readers are inclined to like this writer from the get-go. Though the essay shifts from this lighthearted introduction to more serious subject matter around the third paragraph, the shift is not abrupt or jarring. This is because the student invites readers to feel the transition with them through their inclusion of various anecdotes that inspired their “feelings of cultural homelessness.” And our journey does not end there—we go back to America with the student and see how their former struggles become strengths.

Ultimately, this essay is successful due to its satisfying ending. Because readers experience the student’s struggles with them, we also feel the resolution. The conclusion of this essay is a prime example of the “Same, but Different” technique described in our article on How to End Your College Essay . As the student describes how, in the end, their complicated cultural identity still exists but transitions to a source of strength, readers are left feeling happy for the student. This means that they have formed a connection with the student, which is the ultimate goal!

Prompt #1, Example #3

“1…2…3…4 pirouettes ! New record!” My friends cheered as I landed my turns. Pleased with my progress, I gazed down at my worn-out pointe shoes. The sweltering blisters, numbing ice-baths, and draining late-night practices did not seem so bad after all. Next goal: five turns.

For as long as I can remember, ballet, in all its finesse and glamor, had kept me driven day to day. As a child, the lithe ballerinas, donning ethereal costumes as they floated across the stage, were my motivation. While others admired Messi and Adele, I idolized Carlos Acosta, principal dancer of the Royal Ballet.

As I devoted more time and energy towards my craft, I became obsessed with improving my technique. I would stretch for hours after class, forcing my leg one inch higher in an effort to mirror the Dance Magazine cover girls . I injured my feet and ruined pair after pair of pointe shoes, turning on wood, cement, and even grass to improve my balance as I spun. At competitions, the dancers with the 180-degree leg extensions, endless turns, and soaring leaps—the ones who received “Bravos!” from the roaring audience—further pushed me to refine my skills and perfect my form. I believed that, with enough determination, I would one day attain their level of perfection. Reaching the quadruple- pirouette milestone only intensified my desire to accomplish even more.

My efforts seemed to have come to fruition two summers ago when I was accepted to dance with Moscow’s Bolshoi Ballet at their renowned New York City summer intensive. I walked into my first session eager to learn from distinguished ballet masters and worldly dancers, already anticipating my improvement. Yet, as I danced alongside the accomplished ballerinas, I felt out of place. Despite their clean technique and professional training, they did not aim for glorious leg extensions or prodigious leaps. When they performed their turn combinations, most of them only executed two turns as I attempted four.

“Dancers, double- pirouettes only.”

Taken aback and confused, I wondered why our teacher expected so little from us. The other ballerinas seemed content, gracing the studio with their simple movements.

As I grew closer with my Moscow roommates, I gradually learned that their training emphasized the history of the art form instead of stylistic tricks. Rather than show off their physical ability, their performances aimed to convey a story, one that embodied the rich culture of ballet and captured both the legacy of the dancers before them and their own artistry. As I observed my friends more intently in repertoire class, I felt the pain of the grief-stricken white swan from Swan Lake , the sass of the flirtatious Kitri from Don Quijote, and I gradually saw what I had overlooked before. My definition of talent had been molded by crowd-pleasing elements—whirring pirouettes , gravity-defying leaps, and mind-blowing leg extensions. This mindset slowly stripped me from the roots of my passion and my personal connection with ballet.

With the Bolshoi, I learned to step back and explore the meaning behind each step and the people behind the scenes. Ballet carries history in its movements, from the societal values of the era to each choreographer’s unique flair. As I uncovered the messages behind each pirouette, kick, and jump, my appreciation for ballet grew beyond my obsession with raw athleticism and developed into a love for the art form’s emotive abilities in bridging the dancers with the audience. My journey as an artist has allowed me to see how technical execution is only the means to a greater understanding between dancer and spectator, between storyteller and listener. The elegance and complexity of ballet does not revolve around astonishing stunts but rather the evocative strength and artistry manifested in the dancer, in me. It is the combination of sentiments, history, tradition, and passion that has allowed ballet and its lessons of human connection to become my lifestyle both on and off stage.

The primary strength of this essay is the honesty and authenticity of the student’s writing. It is purposefully reflective. Intentional language creates a clear character arc that begins with an eager young ballerina and ends with the student reflecting on their past.

Readers are easily able to picture the passion and intensity of the young dancer through the writer’s engagement with words like “obsessed,” “forcing,” and “ruined” in the second paragraph. Then, we see how intensity becomes pride as they “wondered why our teacher expected so little from us.” And ultimately, we see the writer humbled as they are exposed to the deeper meaning behind what they have worked so hard for. This arc is outstanding, and the student’s musings about ballet in the concl usion position them as vulnerable and reflective (and thus, appealing to admissions officers!)

The main weakness of this essay (though this is a stellar essay) is its formulaic beginning. While dialogue can be an effective tool for starting your essay, this student’s introduction feels a bit stilted as the dialogue does not match the overall reflective tone of the essay. Perhaps, in place of “Next goal: five turns,” the student could have posed a question or foreshadowed the growth they ultimately describe.

Prompt #1, Example #4

My paintbrush dragged a flurry of acrylic, the rich colors attaching to each groove in my canvas’s texture. The feeling was euphoric.

From a young age, painting has been my solace. Between the stress of my packed high school days filled with classes and extracurriculars, the glide of my paintbrush was my emotional outlet.

I opened a fresh canvas and began. The amalgamation of assorted colors in my palette melded harmoniously: dark and light, cool and warm, brilliant and dull. They conjoined, forming shades and surfaces sharp, smooth, and ridged. The textures of my paint strokes — powdery, glossy, jagged — gave my painting a tone, as if it had a voice of its own, sometimes shrieking, sometimes whispering.

Rough indigo blue. The repetitive upward pulls of my brush formed layers on my canvas. Staring into the deep blue, I felt transported to the bottom of the pool I swim in daily. I looked upward to see a layer of dense water between myself and the person I aspire to be, an ideal blurred by filmy ripples. Rough blue encapsulates my amorphous, conflicting identity, catalyzed by words spewed by my peers about my “oily hair” and “smelly food”. They caused my ever present disdain toward cultural assemblies; the lehenga I wore felt burdensome. My identity quivers like the indigo storm I painted — a duel between my self-deprecating, validation-seeking self, and the proud self I desire to be. My haphazard paint strokes released my internal turbulence.

Smooth orange-hued green. I laid the color in melodious strokes, forming my figure. The warmer green transitions from the rough blue — while they share elements, they also diverge. My firm brushstrokes felt like the way I felt on my first day as a media intern at KBOO, my local volunteer-driven radio station, committed to the voices of the marginalized. As a naturally introverted speaker, I was forced out of my comfort zone when tasked with documenting a KBOO art exhibition for social media, speaking with hosts to share their diverse, underrepresented backgrounds and inspirations. A rhythmic green strength soon shoved me past internal blue turbulence. My communication skills which were built by two years of Speech and Debate unleashed — I recognized that making a social change through media required amplifying unique voices and perspectives, both my own and others. The powerful green strokes that fill my canvas entrench my growth.

Bright, voluminous coral, hinted with magenta and yellow. I dabbed the color over my figure, giving my painting dimension. The paint, speckled, added depth on every inch it coated. As I moved the color in random but purposeful movements, the vitality ushered into my painting brought a smile across my face. It reminded me of the encounters I had with my cubicle-mate in my sophomore year academic autism research internship, seemingly insignificant moments in my lifelong journey that, in retrospect, wove unique threads into my tapestry. The kindness she brought into work inspired my compassion, while her stories of struggling with ADHD in the workplace bolstered my empathy towards different experiences. Our conversations added blobs of a nonuniform bright color in my painting, binding a new perspective in me.

I added in my final strokes, each contributing an element to my piece. As I scanned my canvas, I observed these elements. Detail added nuance into smaller pictures; they embodied complexities within color, texture, and hue, each individually delivering a narrative. But together, they formed a piece of art— art that could be interpreted as a whole or broken apart but still delivering as a means of communication.

I find beauty in media because of this. I can adapt a complex narrative to be deliverable, each component telling a story. Appreciating these nuances — the light, dark, smooth, and rough — has cultivated my growth mindset. My life-long painting never finishes. It is ever-expanding, absorbing the novel textures and colors I encounter daily.

This essay is distinct from others due to its melodic, lyrical form. This is primarily achieved because the student’s form follows the movements of the paintbrush that they use to scaffold their essay. As readers, we simply flow through the essay, occasionally picking up bits of information about its creator. Without even realizing it, by the end of the essay, admissions officers will know that this student is a swimmer, was in Speech and Debate, is Indian, and has had multiple internships.

A major strength of this essay is the command of language that the student demonstrates. This essay was not simply written, it was crafted. Universities are, of course, interested in the talents, goals, and interests of applicants, but an essay being well-written can be equally important. Writing skills are important because your reader will not learn about your talents, goals, and interests if they aren’t engaged in your essay, but they are also important because admissions officers know that being able to articulate your thoughts is important for success in all future careers.

While this essay is well-written, there are a few moments where it falls out of the flow and feels more like a student advertising their successes. For example, the phrases “media intern at KBOO” and “autism research internship” work better on a resume than they do in this essay. Admissions officers have a copy of your resume and can check your internship experiences after reading your essay! If you are going to use a unique writing style or narrative form, lean into it; don’t try to hybridize it with the standard college essay form. Your boldness will be attractive to admissions officers.

Readers are easily able to picture the passion and intensity of the young dancer through the writer’s engagement with words like “obsessed,” “forcing,” and “ruined” in the second paragraph. Then, we see how intensity becomes pride as they “wondered why our teacher expected so little from us.” And ultimately, we see the writer humbled as they are exposed to the deeper meaning behind what they have worked so hard for. This arc is outstanding, and the student’s musings about ballet in the conclusion position them as vulnerable and reflective (and thus, appealing to admissions officers!)

Prompt #2: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

Prompt #2, example #1.

“You ruined my life!” After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain.

Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.

When my parents learned about The Green Academy, we hoped it would be an opportunity for me to find not only an academically challenging environment, but also – perhaps more importantly – a community. This meant transferring the family from Drumfield to Kingston. And while there was concern about Max, we all believed that given his sociable nature, moving would be far less impactful on him than staying put might be on me.

As it turned out, Green Academy was everything I’d hoped for. I was ecstatic to discover a group of students with whom I shared interests and could truly engage. Preoccupied with new friends and a rigorous course load, I failed to notice that the tables had turned. Max, lost in the fray and grappling with how to make connections in his enormous new high school, had become withdrawn and lonely. It took me until Christmas time – and a massive argument – to recognize how difficult the transition had been for my brother, let alone that he blamed me for it.

Through my own journey of searching for academic peers, in addition to coming out as gay when I was 12, I had developed deep empathy for those who had trouble fitting in. It was a pain I knew well and could easily relate to. Yet after Max’s outburst, my first response was to protest that our parents – not I – had chosen to move us here. In my heart, though, I knew that regardless of who had made the decision, we ended up in Kingston for my benefit. I was ashamed that, while I saw myself as genuinely compassionate, I had been oblivious to the heartache of the person closest to me. I could no longer ignore it – and I didn’t want to.

We stayed up half the night talking, and the conversation took an unexpected turn. Max opened up and shared that it wasn’t just about the move. He told me how challenging school had always been for him, due to his dyslexia, and that the ever-present comparison to me had only deepened his pain.

We had been in parallel battles the whole time and, yet, I only saw that Max was in distress once he experienced problems with which I directly identified. I’d long thought Max had it so easy – all because he had friends. The truth was, he didn’t need to experience my personal brand of sorrow in order for me to relate – he had felt plenty of his own.

My failure to recognize Max’s suffering brought home for me the profound universality and diversity of personal struggle; everyone has insecurities, everyone has woes, and everyone – most certainly – has pain. I am acutely grateful for the conversations he and I shared around all of this, because I believe our relationship has been fundamentally strengthened by a deeper understanding of one another. Further, this experience has reinforced the value of constantly striving for deeper sensitivity to the hidden struggles of those around me. I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story.

Here is a prime example that you don’t have to have fabulous imagery or flowery prose to write a successful Common App essay. You just have to be clear and say something that matters. This essay is simple and beautiful. It almost feels like having a conversation with a friend and learning that they are an even better person than you already thought they were.

Through this narrative, readers learn a lot about the writer—where they’re from, what their family life is like, what their challenges were as a kid, and even their sexuality. We also learn a lot about their values—notably, the value they place on awareness, improvement, and consideration of others. Though they never explicitly state it (which is great because it is still crystal clear!), this student’s ending of “I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story” shows that they are constantly striving for improvement and finding lessons anywhere they can get them in life.

The only part of this essay that could use a bit of work is the introduction. A short introduction can be effective, but this short first paragraph feels thrown in at the last minute and like it is missing its second half. If you are keeping your introduction short, make it matter.

Prompt #2, Example #2

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire.

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family.

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt.

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame.

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him.

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses.

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This Common App essay is well-written. The student is showing the admissions officers their ability to articulate their points beautifully and creatively. It starts with vivid images like that of the “rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free.” And because the prose is flowery, the writer can get away with metaphors like “I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms” that might sound cheesy without the clear command of the English language that the writer quickly establishes.

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

While dialogue often comes off as cliche or trite, this student effectively incorporates their family members saying “Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” This is achieved through the apt use of the verb “taunted” to characterize the questioning and through the question’s thematic connection to the earlier image of the student as a rustic princess. Similarly, rhetorical questions can feel randomly placed in essays, but this student’s inclusion of the questions “Was I so dainty?” and “Was I that incapable?” feels perfectly justified after they establish that they were pondering their failure.

Quite simply, this essay shows how quality writing can make a simple story outstandingly compelling.

Prompt #2, Example #3

The muffled voices behind thin walls heralded trouble.

They were fighting about money.

It wasn’t the first time this had happened and it wasn’t going to be the last. It was one of those countless nights I had to spend curled up under the blanket while pretending to be asleep. My father had been unemployed for five years now, and my mother, a local kindergarten teacher, was struggling to support the family alone. Our situation was bleak: Savings had run out and my parents could no longer hide our lack of money from me. To make matters worse, I was a few weeks away from starting high school, which would inevitably lead to college, yet another financial stressor for my family.

The argument didn’t sound like it would end soon.

“Why did you spend money on that?” my mother said, with an elongated sigh.

“I had to,” my father said, decidedly.

Every fight over the years had left me in despair and the idea of going through another fight daunted me. I had looked forward to my teen years all my life, an age that allows, for the first time, more responsibility. Indeed, after this fateful night, after my fourteenth birthday, I felt a mounting responsibility to help my family, and started brainstorming.

Always being fascinated by computers, I spent my childhood burying myself under computer cabinets, experimenting with computer parts. Naturally, I wondered if my skills in this area might be marketable.

The next morning, my friend, Naba, mentioned that her computer wasn’t working. A tuk-tuk ride later, and I was at her doorstep, and her mother was leading me to her room. I was off to work: I began examining her computer, like a surgeon carefully manages his scalpels and tools. A proper diagnosis was not far from reach, as I realized a broken pin in her computer’s SATA slot. After an hour of work, and a short trip to the hardware store, I successfully fixed the computer. To my pleasant surprise, Naba’s mother drew out two fresh 500 Rupee notes. One covered the cost of the parts I bought and the other was a token of appreciation. Bidding her goodbye, I went straight back home and put one of the 500 Rupee notes inside my family’s “savings-jar.”

Later that day, I devised a plan. I told my friends to spread the word that I was available to fix computers. At first, I got only one or two calls per week. I would pick up the computer from my client’s home, fix it quickly, and return it, thus earning myself a commission. While I couldn’t market my services at a competitive price, because I wasn’t able to buy the parts wholesale, I compensated by providing convenience. All my clients had to do was call me once and the rest was taken care of. Thus, my business had the best customer service in town.

At the beginning of my junior year, after two years of expanding my business through various avenues, I started buying computer parts from hardware suppliers in bulk at a cheaper rate. My business grew exponentially after that.

Before long, I was my town’s go-to tech person. In this journey throughout high school, I started realizing that I had to create my own opportunities and not just curl up under a blanket, seeking only comfort, as I used to. Interacting with people from all walks of life became my forte and a sense of work ethic developed in me. My business required me to be an all-rounder– have the technical skills, be an easily approachable person, and manage cash flow. Slowly becoming better at this, I even managed to sway admins of a local institution to outsource their computer hardware purchases and repairs through me. As my business upsized throughout the years, I went from being helpless to autonomous – the teenager I always aspired to be.

This essay truly feels like a story—almost making you forget you are reading a college essay. The student’s voice is strong throughout the entire essay and they are able to give us insight into their thoughts, feelings, and motivations at every step of the story. Letting the reader into personal challenges like financial struggles can be daunting in a college essay, but the way this student used that setback to establish an emotional ethos to their narrative was well done.

Because the essay is essentially just telling a story, there’s a very natural flow that makes it enjoyable and easy to read. The student establishes the conflict at the beginning, then describes their solution and how they implemented it, and finally concludes with the lessons they took away from this experience. Transitions at the beginning of paragraphs effortlessly show the passage of time and how the student has progressed through the story.

Another reason this essay is so successful is because of the abundance of details. The reader truly feels like they are hiding in the room with the student as their parents yell because of the inclusion of quotes from the argument. We understand the precision and care they have for fixing computers because of the allusion to a surgeon with their scalpel. Not only does this imagery make the story more enticing, it also helps the reader gain a deeper appreciation for the type of person this student is and the adversity they have overcome.

If there were one thing this essay could do to improve, it would be to include a resolution to the conflict from the beginning. The student tells us how this business helped them grow as a person, but we don’t ever get to find out if they were able to lessen the financial burden on their parents or if they continued to struggle despite the student working hard. It doesn’t have to be a happy ending, but it would be nice to return to the conflict and acknowledge the effect they had on it, especially since this prompt is all about facing challenges.

Prompt #3: Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

Prompt #3, example #1.

When I was younger, I was adamant that no two foods on my plate touch. As a result, I often used a second plate to prevent such an atrocity. In many ways, I learned to separate different things this way from my older brothers, Nate and Rob. Growing up, I idolized both of them. Nate was a performer, and I insisted on arriving early to his shows to secure front row seats, refusing to budge during intermission for fear of missing anything. Rob was a three-sport athlete, and I attended his games religiously, waving worn-out foam cougar paws and cheering until my voice was hoarse. My brothers were my role models. However, while each was talented, neither was interested in the other’s passion. To me, they represented two contrasting ideals of what I could become: artist or athlete. I believed I had to choose.

And for a long time, I chose athlete. I played soccer, basketball, and lacrosse and viewed myself exclusively as an athlete, believing the arts were not for me. I conveniently overlooked that since the age of five, I had been composing stories for my family for Christmas, gifts that were as much for me as them, as I loved writing. So when in tenth grade, I had the option of taking a creative writing class, I was faced with a question: could I be an athlete and a writer? After much debate, I enrolled in the class, feeling both apprehensive and excited. When I arrived on the first day of school, my teacher, Ms. Jenkins, asked us to write down our expectations for the class. After a few minutes, eraser shavings stubbornly sunbathing on my now-smudged paper, I finally wrote, “I do not expect to become a published writer from this class. I just want this to be a place where I can write freely.”

Although the purpose of the class never changed for me, on the third “submission day,” – our time to submit writing to upcoming contests and literary magazines – I faced a predicament. For the first two submission days, I had passed the time editing earlier pieces, eventually (pretty quickly) resorting to screen snake when hopelessness made the words look like hieroglyphics. I must not have been as subtle as I thought, as on the third of these days, Ms. Jenkins approached me. After shifting from excuse to excuse as to why I did not submit my writing, I finally recognized the real reason I had withheld my work: I was scared. I did not want to be different, and I did not want to challenge not only others’ perceptions of me, but also my own. I yielded to Ms. Jenkin’s pleas and sent one of my pieces to an upcoming contest.

By the time the letter came, I had already forgotten about the contest. When the flimsy white envelope arrived in the mail, I was shocked and ecstatic to learn that I had received 2nd place in a nationwide writing competition. The next morning, however, I discovered Ms. Jenkins would make an announcement to the whole school exposing me as a poet. I decided to own this identity and embrace my friends’ jokes and playful digs, and over time, they have learned to accept and respect this part of me. I have since seen more boys at my school identifying themselves as writers or artists.

I no longer see myself as an athlete and a poet independently, but rather I see these two aspects forming a single inseparable identity – me. Despite their apparent differences, these two disciplines are quite similar, as each requires creativity and devotion. I am still a poet when I am lacing up my cleats for soccer practice and still an athlete when I am building metaphors in the back of my mind – and I have realized ice cream and gummy bears taste pretty good together.

This essay is cohesive as it centers around the theme of identity and the ability for two identities to coexist simultaneously (an interesting theme!). It uses the Full Circle ending strategy as it starts with a metaphor about food touching and ends with “I have realized ice cream and gummy bears taste pretty good together.”

The main issue with this essay is that it could come off as cliché, which could be irritating for admissions officers. The story described is notably similar to High School Musical (“I decided to own this identity and embrace my friends’ jokes and playful digs, and over time, they have learned to accept and respect this part of me”) and feels slightly overstated.

At times, this essay is also confusing. In the first paragraph, it feels like the narrative is actually going to be about separating your food (and is somehow going to relate to the older brothers?). It is not entirely clear that this is a metaphor. Also, when the writer references the third submission day and then works backward to explain what a submission day is and that there are multiple throughout the semester, the timeline gets unnecessarily confusing. Reworking the way this paragraph unfolded would have been more compelling and less distracting.

Overall, this essay was interesting but could have been more polished to be more effective.

Prompt #3, Example #2

I walked into my middle school English class, and noticed a stranger behind my teacher’s desk. “Hello,” she said. “Today I will be your substitute teacher.” I groaned internally. “Let me start off by calling roll. Ally?” “Here!” exclaimed Ally. “Jack?” “Here.” “Rachel?” “Here.” “Freddie?” “Present.” And then– “…?” The awkward pause was my cue. “It’s Jasina,” I started. “You can just call me Jas. Here.” “Oh, Jasina. That’s unique.” The word “unique” made me cringe. I slumped back in my seat. The substitute continued calling roll, and class continued as if nothing had happened. Nothing had happened. Just a typical moment in a middle school, but I hated every second of it.

My name is not impossible to pronounce. It appears challenging initially, but once you hear it, “Jas-een-a”, then you can manage it. My nickname, Jas (pronounced “Jazz”), is what most people call me anyway, so I don’t have to deal with mispronunciation often. I am thankful that my parents named me Jasina (a Hebrew name), but whenever someone hears my name for the first time, they comment, and I assume they’re making assumptions about me. “Wow, Jas is a cool name.” She must be pretty cool.“I’ve never heard the name Jasina before.” She must be from somewhere exotic. “Jas, like Jazz?” She must be musical and artsy. None of these assumptions are bad, but they all add up to the same thing: She must be unique.

When I was little, these sentiments felt more like commands than assumptions. I thought I had to be the most unique child of all time, which was a daunting task, but I tried. I was the only kid in the second grade to color the sun red. I knew it was really yellow, but you could always tell which drawings were mine. During snack time, we could choose between apple juice and grape juice. I liked apple juice more, but if everyone else was choosing apple, then I had to choose grape. This was how I lived my life, and it was exhausting. I tried to continue this habit into middle school, but it backfired. When everyone became obsessed with things like skinny jeans and Justin Bieber and blue mascara (that was a weird trend), my resistance of the norm made me socially awkward. I couldn’t talk to people about anything because we had nothing in common. I was too different.

After 8th grade, I moved to Georgia, and I was dreading being the odd one out among kids who had grown up together. Then I discovered that my freshman year would be Cambridge High School’s inaugural year. Since there were students coming in from 5 different schools, there was no real sense of “normal”. I panicked. If there was no normal, then how could I be unique? That’s when I realized that I had spent so much energy going against the grain that I had no idea what my true interests were or what I really cared about.

It was time to find out. I stopped concentrating on what everyone else was doing and started to focus on myself. I joined the basketball team, I performed in the school musical, and I enrolled in Chorus, all of which were firsts for me. I took art classes, joined clubs, and did whatever I thought would make me happy. And it paid off. I was no longer socially awkward. In fact, because I was involved in so many unrelated activities, I was socially flexible. My friends and I had things in common, but there was no one who could say that I was exactly like anyone else. I had finally become my own person.

My father named me Jasina because he wanted my nickname to be “Jazz.” According to Webster, “jazz” is “music characterized by syncopated rhythms, improvisation, and deliberate distortions of pitch.” Basically, jazz is music that is off-beat and unpredictable. It cannot be strictly defined.

That sounds about right.

Right off the bat, this essay starts extremely strong. The description of attendance in a class with ample quotes, awkward pauses, and the student’s internal dialogue immediately puts us in the middle of the action and establishes a lot of sympathy for this student before we’ve learned anything else.

The strength of this essay continues into the second paragraph where the use of quotes, italics, and interjections from the student continues. All of these literary tools help the student express her voice and allow the reader to understand what this student goes through on a daily basis. Rather than just telling the reader people make assumptions about her name, she shows us what these assumptions look and sound like, and exactly how they make her feel.

The essay further shows us how the student approached her name by providing concrete examples of times she’s been intentionally unique throughout her life. Describing her drawing red suns and choosing grape juice bring her personality to life and allow her to express her deviance from the “norm” in a much more engaging and visual way than simply telling the reader she would go against the grain to be different on purpose.

One part of the essay that was a bit weaker than the others was the paragraph about her in high school. Although it was still well written and did a nice job of demonstrating how she got involved in multiple groups to find her new identity, it lacked the same level of showing employed in previous paragraphs. It would have been nice to see what “socially flexible” means either through a conversation she had with her friends or an example of a time she combined her interests from different groups in a way that was uniquely her.

The essay finishes off how it started: extremely strong. Taking a step back to fully explain the origin of her name neatly brings together everything mentioned in this essay. This ending is especially successful because she never explicitly states that her personality aligns with the definition of jazz. Instead, she relies on the points she has made throughout the essay to stick in the reader’s memory so they are able to draw the connection themselves, making for a much more satisfying ending for the reader.

Prompt #4 (OLD PROMPT; NOT THE CURRENT PROMPT): Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma – anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.

Prompt #4, example #1.

“Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.”

Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay is great because it has a strong introduction and a strong conclusion. The introduction is notably suspenseful and draws readers into the story. Because we know it is a college essay, we can assume that the student is one of the competitors, but at the same time, this introduction feels intentionally ambiguous as if the writer could be a competitor, a coach, a sibling of a competitor, or anyone else in the situation.

As we continue reading the essay, we learn that the writer is, in fact, the competitor. Readers also learn a lot about the student’s values as we hear their thoughts: “I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was.” Ultimately, the conflict and inner and outer turmoil is resolved through the “Same, but Different” ending technique as the student places themself in the same environment that we saw in the intro, but experiencing it differently due to their actions throughout the narrative. This is a very compelling strategy!

The main weakness of this essay is that it is slightly confusing at times—how the other students found coaches feels unintentionally under-explained (a simple phrase like “through pleading and attracting sympathy” in the fourth paragraph could have served the writer well) and a dojang is never defined. Additionally, the turn of the essay or “volta” could’ve packed a bigger punch. It is put quite simply with “I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.” A more suspenseful reveal could’ve served the author well because more drama did come later.

Prompt #5: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Prompt #5, example #1.

Tears streamed down my face and my mind was paralyzed with fear. Sirens blared, but the silent panic in my own head was deafening. I was muted by shock. A few hours earlier, I had anticipated a vacation in Washington, D.C., but unexpectedly, I was rushing to the hospital behind an ambulance carrying my mother. As a fourteen-year-old from a single mother household, without a driver’s license, and seven hours from home, I was distraught over the prospect of losing the only parent I had. My fear turned into action as I made some of the bravest decisions of my life.

Three blood transfusions later, my mother’s condition was stable, but we were still states away from home, so I coordinated with my mother’s doctors in North Carolina to schedule the emergency operation that would save her life. Throughout her surgery, I anxiously awaited any word from her surgeon, but each time I asked, I was told that there had been another complication or delay. Relying on my faith and positive attitude, I remained optimistic that my mother would survive and that I could embrace new responsibilities.

My mother had been a source of strength for me, and now I would be strong for her through her long recovery ahead. As I started high school, everyone thought the crisis was over, but it had really just started to impact my life. My mother was often fatigued, so I assumed more responsibility, juggling family duties, school, athletics, and work. I made countless trips to the neighborhood pharmacy, cooked dinner, biked to the grocery store, supported my concerned sister, and provided the loving care my mother needed to recover. I didn’t know I was capable of such maturity and resourcefulness until it was called upon. Each day was a stage in my gradual transformation from dependence to relative independence.

Throughout my mother’s health crisis, I matured by learning to put others’ needs before my own. As I worried about my mother’s health, I took nothing for granted, cherished what I had, and used my daily activities as motivation to move forward. I now take ownership over small decisions such as scheduling daily appointments and managing my time but also over major decisions involving my future, including the college admissions process. Although I have become more independent, my mother and I are inseparably close, and the realization that I almost lost her affects me daily. Each morning, I wake up ten minutes early simply to eat breakfast with my mother and spend time with her before our busy days begin. I am aware of how quickly life can change. My mother remains a guiding force in my life, but the feeling of empowerment I discovered within myself is the ultimate form of my independence. Though I thought the summer before my freshman year would be a transition from middle school to high school, it was a transformation from childhood to adulthood.

This essay feels real and tells readers a lot about the writer. To start at the beginning, the intro is 10/10. It has drama, it has emotions, and it has the reader wanting more.

And, when you keep going, you get to learn a lot about a very resilient and mature student. Through sentences like “I made countless trips to the neighborhood pharmacy, cooked dinner, biked to the grocery store, supported my concerned sister, and provided the loving care my mother needed to recover” and “Relying on my faith and positive attitude, I remained optimistic that my mother would survive and that I could embrace new responsibilities,” the reader shows us that they are aware of their resilience and maturity, but are not arrogant about it. It is simply a fact that they have proven!

Sometimes writing about adversity can feel exploitative or oddly braggy. This student backs up everything they say with anecdotes that prove and show their strength and resilience, rather than just claiming their strengths. When I read this essay, I want to cheer for its writer! And I want to be able to continue cheering for them (perhaps, if I were an admissions officer, that would make me want them at my school!).

Prompt #5, Example #2

Armed with a red pen, I slowly walked across the room to a small, isolated table with pink stools. Swinging her legs, my young student beamed and giggled at me, slamming her pencil bag on the table and bending over to pick up one of her toys. Natalie always brought some new toy with her to lessons—toys which I would sternly take away from her and place under the table until she finished her work. At the tutoring center where I work, a strict emphasis on discipline leaves no room for paper crowns or rubber chickens.

Today, she had with her a large stuffed eagle from a museum. As she pulled out her papers, I slid the eagle to the other side of the table. She looked eagerly around, attempting to chat with other students as I impatiently called her attention to her papers. “I should name my eagle,” she chimed, waving her pencil in the air. I cringed—there was no wondering why Natalie always had to sit by herself. She was the antithesis of my academic values, and undoubtedly the greatest adversary of my teaching style.

As the lesson progressed, Natalie became more fitful; she refused to release her feathered friend, and kept addressing the bird for help with difficult problems. We both grew increasingly more frustrated. Determined to tame this wryly, wiggling student, I stood my ground, set on converting this disobedient child to my calm, measured ways of study.

As time slowly crept by, I noticed that despite Natalie’s cheerful tone and bright smile, the stuffed eagle was troublesomely quiet and stern-faced. Much like myself. Both the eagle and I were getting nowhere in this lesson—so we hatched a quick plan. Lifting the eagle up in the air, I started reading in my best impersonation of an eagle, squawking my way through a spelling packet. The result provided a sense of instant gratification I never knew I needed. She sang out every letter, clapped her hands at every page, and followed along with the eagle, stopping at every few letters to declare that “E is for eagle” and pet her teacher fondly on the beak.

Despite my ostensibly dissatisfied attitude toward my students, I did not join the tutoring center simply to earn money. I had always aspired to help others achieve their fullest potential. As a young adult, I felt that it was time for me to step out of the role of a pupil and into the influential role of a teacher, naively believing that I had the maturity and skill to adapt to any situation and help these students reach their highest achievements academically. For the most part, the role of a stern-faced, strict instructor helped me get by in the workplace, and while my students never truly looked happy, I felt that it was part of the process of conditioning a child to learn.

Ironically, my transition to adulthood was the result of a stuffed animal. It was indisputable that I always had the skill to instruct others; the only thing needed to instruct someone is knowledge of the subject. However, it was only upon being introduced to a stuffed bird in which I realized that students receive the most help not from instructors, but teachers. While almost anyone can learn material and spit it back out for someone, it takes the maturity and passion of a teacher not only to help students improve in their students, but also to motivate them and develop them into better citizens. From my young pupil and her little bird, I have undergone a change in attitude which reflects a growth in maturity and ability to improve the lives of others that I hope to implement in my future role as a student, activist, and physician. My newfound maturity taught me that the letter “e” stands for many things: empathy, experience, enthusiasm, and eagle.

In this essay, the student effectively explores their values (and how they learned them!) then identifies these values through a reflective conclusion. While the writer humbly recognizes the initial faults in their teaching style, they do not position their initial discipline or rigidity as mean or poorly intentioned—simply ineffective. This is important because, when you are discussing a transition like this, you don’t want admissions officers to think of you as having been a bad person.

My favorite part about this essay is its subtlety. The major shift in the essay comes through the simple sentence “The result provided a sense of instant gratification I never knew I needed.” The facts of this narrative are not too complicated. Simply put, the writer was strict then learned that it’s sometimes more effective not to be strict. The complexity of this narrative comes through reflection. Notably, through the ending, the student identifies their values (which they hadn’t given a name to before): “it takes the maturity and passion of a teacher not only to help students improve in their students, but also to motivate them and develop them into better citizens.”

The final sentence of this essay ties things up very nicely. Readers are left satisfied with the essay and convinced that its writer is a kind human with a large capacity for reflection and consideration. That is a great image to paint of yourself!

Prompt #5, Example #3

When it’s quiet, I can still hear the Friday night gossip and giggles of my friends. It’s a stark contrast from the environment I’ve known all my life, my home. My family has always been one to keep to themselves; introverts with a hard-working mentality—my father especially. He spent most of his time at work and growing up without him around, I came to be at peace with the fact that I’d probably never really get to know him. The thought didn’t bother me at the time because I felt that we were very different. He was stoic and traditional; I was trying to figure out who I was and explore my interests. His disapproval of the American music I listened to and my penchant for wearing hand-me-downs made me see him as someone who wanted to restrain my individuality. That explains why I relied heavily on my friends throughout middle and high school; they liked me for who I was. I figured I would get lonely without my friends during quarantine, but these last few months stuck at home gave me the time to make a new friend: my father.

It was June. I had the habit of sleeping with my windows open so I wouldn’t need to set an alarm; the warmth of the sun and the sounds of the neighborhood children playing outside would wake me. One morning, however, it was not the chirping of birds or the laughter of children I awoke to, but the shrill of a saw. Through the window screen, on the grass below, my father stood cutting planks of wood. I was confused but didn’t question him—what he did with his time was none of my business. It was not until the next day, when I was attempting to work on a sculpture for an art class, that the sounds of hammering and drills became too much to ignore. Seeking answers, I trudged across my backyard towards the corner he was in. On that day, all there was to see was the foundation of what he was building; a shed. My intrigue was replaced with awe; I was impressed by the precision of his craft. Sharp corners, leveled and sturdy, I could imagine what it would look like when the walls were up and the inside filled with the tools he had spread around the yard.

Throughout the week, when I was trying to finish my sculpture for art class—thinking about its shape and composition—I could not help but think of my father. Art has always been a creative outlet for me, an opportunity to express myself at home. For my dad, his craftsmanship was his art. I realized we were not as different as I had thought; he was an artist like me. My glue and paper were his wood and nails.

That summer, I tried to spend more time with my dad than I have in all my 18 years of life. Waking up earlier than usual so we could have our morning coffees together and pretending to like his favorite band so he’d talk to me about it, I took advantage of every opportunity I had to speak with him. In getting to know him, I’ve recognized that I get my artistry from him.

Reflecting on past relationships, I feel I am now more open to reconnecting with people I’ve perhaps misjudged. In reconciling, I’ve realized I held some bitterness towards him all these years, and in letting that go, my heart is lighter. Our reunion has changed my perspective; instead of vilifying him for spending so much time at work, I can appreciate how hard he works to provide for our family. When I hear him tinkering away at another home project, I can smile and look forward to asking him about it later.

This is an outstanding example of the great things that can be articulated through a reflective essay. As we read the essay, we are simply thinking alongside its author—thinking about their past relationship with their father, about their time in quarantine, about aspects of themselves they think could use attention and growth.

While we reflect, we are also centered by the student’s anecdote about the sculpture and the shed during quarantine. By centering us in real-time, the student keeps us engaged in the reflection.

The main strength here is the maturity we see on the part of its writer. The student doesn’t say “and I realized my father was the best dad in the world;” they say “and I realized my father didn’t have to be the best dad in the world for me to give him a chance.” Lots of students show themselves as motivated, curious, or compassionate in their college essays, but a reflective essay that ends with a discussion of resentment and forgiveness shows true maturity.

Prompt #5, Example #4

As a wide-eyed, naive seven-year-old, I watched my grandmother’s rough, wrinkled hands pull and knead mercilessly at white dough until the countertop was dusted in flour. She steamed small buns in bamboo baskets, and a light sweetness lingered in the air. Although the mantou looked delicious, their papery, flat taste was always an unpleasant surprise. My grandmother scolded me for failing to finish even one, and when I complained about the lack of flavor she would simply say that I would find it as I grew older. How did my adult relatives seem to enjoy this Taiwanese culinary delight while I found it so plain?

During my journey to discover the essence of mantou, I began to see myself the same way I saw the steamed bun. I believed that my writing would never evolve beyond a hobby and that my quiet nature crippled my ambitions. Ultimately, I thought I had little to offer the world. In middle school, it was easy for me to hide behind the large personalities of my friends, blending into the background and keeping my thoughts company. Although writing had become my emotional outlet, no matter how well I wrote essays, poetry, or fiction, I could not stand out in a sea of talented students. When I finally gained the confidence to submit my poetry to literary journals but was promptly rejected, I stepped back from my work to begin reading from Whitman to Dickinson, Li-Young Lee to Ocean Vuong. It was then that I realized I had been holding back a crucial ingredient–my distinct voice.

Over time, my taste buds began to mature, as did I. Mantou can be flavored with pork and eggplant, sweetened in condensed milk, and moistened or dried by the steam’s temperature. After I ate the mantou with each of these factors in mind, I noticed its environment enhanced a delicately woven strand of sweetness beneath the taste of side dishes: the sugar I had often watched my grandmother sift into the flour. The taste was nearly untraceable, but once I grasped it I could truly begin to cherish mantou. In the same way the taste had been lost to me for years, my writer’s voice had struggled to shine through because of my self-doubt and fear of vulnerability.

As I acquired a taste for mantou, I also began to strengthen my voice through my surrounding environment. With the support of my parents, peer poets, and the guidance of Amy Tan and the Brontё sisters, I worked tirelessly to uncover my voice: a subtle strand of sweetness. Once I stopped trying to fit into a publishing material mold and infused my uninhibited passion for my Taiwanese heritage into my writing, my poem was published in a literary journal. I wrote about the blatant racism Asians endured during coronavirus, and the editor of Skipping Stones Magazine was touched by both my poem and my heartfelt letter. I opened up about being ridiculed for bringing Asian food to school at Youth Leadership Forum, providing support to younger Asian-American students who reached out with the relief of finding someone they could relate to. I embraced writing as a way to convey my struggle with cultural identity. I joined the school’s creative writing club and read my pieces in front of an audience, honing my voice into one that flourishes out loud as well.

Now, I write and speak unapologetically, falling in love with a voice that I never knew I had. It inspires passion within my communities and imparts tenacity to Asian-American youth, rooting itself deeply into everything I write. Today, my grandmother would say that I have finally unearthed the taste of mantou as I savor every bite with a newfound appreciation. I can imagine her hands shaping the dough that has become my voice, and I am eager to share it with the world.

This essay is structurally-sound, with the student’s journey learning to savor mantou and their journey trying to find their voice serving as outstanding parallels. Additionally, as they describe the journey to find a voice in their writing, they definitely show off their voice! The clear introduction provides a great image and draws us in with an intriguing question. Additionally, their little inserts like “a strand of sweetness” and “falling in love with a voice that I never knew I had” work very well.

When the student describes their first published poem, however, their writing gets a little more stilted. This is a common error students make when writing about their achievements. If this student is writing about the craft that goes into writing, we should hear the details of the craft that went into the poem, instead of simply learning that they “opened up about being ridiculed for bringing Asian food to school at Youth Leadership Forum.” This is interesting information but would be stronger if it were supplemented by descriptions of the voice they created, comparisons to the styles of other poets, and analysis of their stylistic choices. This would make the essay feel more cohesive, centering entirely around concepts of voice and style.

Prompt #6: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

Note: We don’t have a stellar example for this prompt, so instead, we’re sharing a couple examples that need improvement, and what can be done to make the essays more engaging.

Prompt #6, Example #1

What factors shape the depth and allure of a literary character? This is the exact question I asked myself as my eyes riveted on the white pages covered with little black letters.

I was reading my old novels. I’ve written three novels and many short stories. Each of them repetitively portrayed the hero as intelligent and funny, and the antagonists as cold and manipulative. I came to the appalling realization that my characters were flat, neither exciting nor original. They just didn’t stand out!

As Oscar Wilde said, ‘Vice and virtue are to the artist material to an art.’ Their mixing makes a novel addictive because its plot is rich with turnarounds and its characters more engaging. In his famous work The Picture of Dorian Gray , Wilde deconstructs the psyche of his characters. He brilliantly plays with the protagonist’s youthful appearance and the decaying portrait to build a truly unique idiosyncratic identity. The persona of Dorian Gray is so complicated a psychologist could analyze it for hours on end!

Inspired by this character, It was my turn to explore good and evil into characters to make my stories more enthralling. I skillfully played with vice and virtue, separating, merging them… My latest novel is the fruit of this exercise. I chose to set it in 20th century London. Its opium dens and exclusive salons; middle-class workers, peasants and politicians breathed the same newly industrialized air; modernity in Blackfriars bridge and tradition in St Paul’s Cathedral; all of these contrasts set the perfect environment for my characters to grow. Following Laclos’ Valmont, Maupassant’s Georges Duroy and Duffy’s Myra Hindley, I played with those contrasts to present an intricate character, truly creative – unlike my previous ones. Insanity, religion, depravity and love are merged into each character, reflecting Edwardian London. As I reflected on my work, I realized vice and virtue altogether made them more human and credible. These characters stood out, they were interesting, I even wanted to know more about them!

After rewriting, erasing, typing, and thinking countless times, I realized writing is a unique exercise. Nothing is definite when you are holding a fountain pen, hearing its screeching sound on the white paper and watching the ebony ink forming letters. When I wasn’t too happy about a change I made in my story, I simply erased and rewrote it. Everything I imagined could happen: white pages are the only place the mouse eats the cat or the world is taken by a zombie attack!

This exact exercise of diversifying my characters satisfied my relentless curiosity. Asking myself ‘how could this character be if she had lost her parents in a maritime tragedy?’ allowed me to view the world from different perspectives (some very dissimilar to my own) and considering how each character would react to different situations brought them to life. As I was writing, I was aiming to change the usual narratives I had previously traversed. I loved experimenting with countless personality traits in my characters – minutes flowing, my hand dancing on the paper as my mind was singing words coming alive….

There were times where my hand just stopped writing and my mind stopped raging. I tried thinking differently, changing a character’s background, the story, the setting. I was inspired by Zola, A.Carter, Fitzgerald, the Brontë sisters… I could observe the different reactions of their characters, and reflect on mine theoretically. But it was only part one of the work: I then had to write, sometimes aimlessly, sometimes frantically, always leading to fresh ideas – I was exploring the practical, trying, erasing and rewriting. Both theory and practice are required to gain intellectual independence and experience, in writing and more globally: before I can change a character, I have to understand it. Before we can change the world, we have to understand it.

The main strength of this essay is the authenticity of the topic the student chose. They aren’t making anything up or stretching the truth. Writing is something that captivates them, and that captivation shines through—particularly through their fourth paragraph (where they geek out over specific plots and characters) and their fifth paragraph (where they joyfully describe how writing has no limitations). Admissions officers want to see this passion and intensity in applicants! The fact that this student has already written three novels also shows dedication and is impressive.

The main weakness of this essay is its structure. Ironically, it is not super captivating. The essay would have been more compelling if the student utilized a “anecdote – answer – reflection” structure. This student’s current introduction involves a reflective question, citations about their past writing experience, then their thoughts on Oscar Wilde’s Dorian Gray. Instead, this student could’ve provided one cohesive (and powerful!) image of them being frustrated with their own writing then being inspired by Dorian Gray. This would look something like:

“I stayed up three nights in a row studying my own writing—bored by my own writing. The only thing more painful than seeing failure in the fruits of your labor is not seeing a path for improvement. I had written three novels and numerous short stories, and all I could come up with was funny and intelligent heroes going up against cold and manipulative villains. What kind of writer was so consistently cliche? On the third night, I wandered over to my bookshelf. Mrs. Dalloway caught my eye (it has such a beautiful cover). I flipped through. Then, I grabbed Giovanni’s Room . I was so obsessed with my shortcomings that I couldn’t even focus long enough to see what these authors were doing right. I picked up The Picture of Dorian Gray and decided to just start reading. By the end of the night, I was captivated.”

An introduction like this would flow nicely into the student describing their experience with Dorian Gray then, because of that experience, describing how they have altered their approach to writing. The conclusion of this essay would then be this student’s time for reflection. Instead of repeating content about their passion—“I then had to write, sometimes aimlessly, sometimes frantically” and “I was exploring the practical, trying, erasing and rewriting”—, the student could dedicate their conclusion to reflecting on the reasons that writing is so captivating or the ways that (until the day they die) writers will always be perfecting their craft.

This essay is a great example of how important it is to pick a topic that truly excites you. It also illustrates how important it is to effectively structure that excitement.

Prompt #6, Example #2

Astonished by the crashing sound of waves in my ear, I was convinced this magical shell actually held the sound of the big blue sea — my six-year-old self was heartbroken when I couldn’t take the thirty-dollar artificial shell from SeaWorld’s gift shop . It distinctly reminded me of the awestruck feeling I had when I witnessed the churning waves of a windy night by the ocean the previous weekend; I lost track of time gazing at the distant moonlit border dividing our world from the ever-growing black void. Turning to my mom, I inquired curiously, “Can we go to the place where the water ends one day?”

She explained to me I could never reach the end of the ocean because the harsh line I had seen was actually an illusion called the horizon — there was no material end to the ocean. For a mind as young as mine was, the idea of infinity was incomprehensible. As my infatuation with the ocean continued to grow, I finally understood that regardless of how far I travel, the horizon is unattainable because it’s not a physical limit. This idea is why the ocean captivates me — no matter how much you discover, there is always more to explore.

Learning about and exploring the ocean provided an escape from one reality into another; though we are on the same planet, it’s an entirely separate world. Through elementary and middle school, I devoted vast amounts of my free time to learning about simpler concepts like a dolphin’s ability to echolocate and coral reef ecosystems. I rented countless documentaries and constantly checked out books from my local library — my all-time favorite was an episode of the television series Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey titled “The Lost Worlds of Planet Earth.” This episode remained memorable because it was centered around the impacts of fossil fuels on marine animals; it was the first time I’d learned about the impending crisis we are faced with due to the human mistreatment of our planet.

Prior to viewing that episode, I relied on the ocean as an outlet — I fueled all of my emotions into studying marine organisms. Once I learned of its grave future, I delved into the world of environmental activism. This path was much more disheartening than studying echolocation — inevitable death due to climate change took a toll on my mental health. I attended two climate strikes in November of my sophomore year. Following the strikes, I joined Sunrise Movement Sacramento, a youth-led climate justice organization advocating for the Green New Deal. While analyzing legislation and organizing protests were significant takeaways from my experience with climate activism, they were not the most important. I became an organizer because of my love for the ocean and I remain an organizer because of my passion for dissolving the disproportionalities marginalized groups face due to the sacrificing of people’s livelihood for the sake of profit. The more I learned about our modern society, the more hopeless I grew that I could see any significant change within my lifetime.

However, this hopelessness comes in waves; every day, I remind myself of the moment I discovered the horizon. Or the moment I first dove into the beautiful waters of the Hawaiian coast and immediately was surrounded by breathtaking seas of magnificent creatures and coral gardens — life felt ethereal and beautiful. I remind myself that like the ocean, the vast majority of the universe has yet to be discovered; that distant border holds infinite opportunity to learn. In a universe as vast as ours, and life as rare as ours, individuals still choose to prioritize avarice over our planet. Despite this grave individualism, the ocean reminds me every day there is hope in the fight for a better world. Though I will never discover every inch of the ocean’s floor, I will forever envision and reach for new horizons.

Sometimes the path to a great essay is taking something normal and using it to show admissions officers who you are and what you value—that is precisely this student’s approach! Finding the ocean fascinating is not unique to this student. Tons of kids (and adults, too!) are obsessed with the ocean. What this student does is take things a step further as they explain their curiosity about the ocean in relation to their pain about the destruction of the environment. This capacity for reflection is great!

This student shows a good control of language through their thematic centering on ocean and horizons that carries through their essay—with ”this hopelessness comes in waves” and “I will forever envision and reach for new horizons.” The details provided throughout are also effective at keeping readers engaged—things like “ my six-year-old self was heartbroken when I couldn’t take the thirty-dollar artificial shell from SeaWorld’s gift shop” and “ my all-time favorite was an episode of the television series Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey titled “The Lost Worlds of Planet Earth.”

The main weakness of this essay is the lack of reflection when the student discusses environmental activism. There’s reflection on the student’s connection to the ocean and horizons at the beginning and at the end, but when the student discusses activism, the tone shifts from focusing on their internal thoughts to their external actions. Remember, a lot of students write about environmental activism, but not a lot of students write about an emotional connection to the ocean as an impetus for environmental activism. This student would stand out more to admissions officers if they had dug into questions of what the ocean means to them (and says about them) in the paragraphs beginning “Learning about and exploring the ocean…” and “Prior to viewing that episode.”

Prompt #7: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Prompt #7, example #1.

Scalding hot water cascades over me, crashing to the ground in a familiar, soothing rhythm. Steam rises to the ceiling as dried sweat and soap suds swirl down the drain. The water hisses as it hits my skin, far above the safe temperature for a shower. The pressure is perfect on my tired muscles, easing the aches and bruises from a rough bout of sparring and the tension from a long, stressful day. The noise from my overactive mind dies away, fading into music, lyrics floating through my head. Black streaks stripe the inside of my left arm, remnants of the penned reminders of homework, money owed and forms due.

It lacks the same dynamism and controlled intensity of sparring on the mat at taekwondo or the warm tenderness of a tight hug from my father, but it’s still a cocoon of safety as the water washes away the day’s burdens. As long as the hot water is running, the rest of the world ceases to exist, shrinking to me, myself and I. The shower curtain closes me off from the hectic world spinning around me.

Much like the baths of Blanche DuBois, my hot showers are a means of cleansing and purifying (though I’m mostly just ridding myself of the germs from children at work sneezing on me). In the midst of a hot shower, there is no impending exam to study for, no newspaper deadline to meet, no paycheck to deposit. It is simply complete and utter peace, a safe haven. The steam clears my mind even as it clouds my mirror.

Creativity thrives in the tub, breathing life into tales of dragons and warrior princesses that evolve only in my head, never making their way to paper but appeasing the childlike dreamer and wannabe author in me all the same. That one calculus problem that has seemed unsolvable since second period clicks into place as I realize the obvious solution. The perfect concluding sentence to my literary analysis essay writes itself (causing me to abruptly end my shower in a mad dash to the computer before I forget it entirely).

Ever since I was old enough to start taking showers unaided, I began hogging all the hot water in the house, a source of great frustration to my parents. Many of my early showers were rudely cut short by an unholy banging on the bathroom door and an order to “stop wasting water and come eat dinner before it gets cold.” After a decade of trudging up the stairs every evening to put an end to my water-wasting, my parents finally gave in, leaving me to my (expensive) showers. I imagine someday, when paying the water bill is in my hands, my showers will be shorter, but today is not that day (nor, hopefully, will the next four years be that day).

Showers are better than any ibuprofen, the perfect panacea for life’s daily ailments. Headaches magically disappear as long as the water runs, though they typically return in full force afterward. The runny nose and itchy eyes courtesy of summertime allergies recede. Showers alleviate even the stomachache from a guacamole-induced lack of self-control.

Honestly though, the best part about a hot shower is neither its medicinal abilities nor its blissful temporary isolation or even the heavenly warmth seeped deep into my bones. The best part is that these little moments of pure, uninhibited contentedness are a daily occurrence. No matter how stressful the day, showers ensure I always have something to look forward to. They are small moments, true, but important nonetheless, because it is the little things in life that matter; the big moments are too rare, too fleeting to make anyone truly happy. Wherever I am in the world, whatever fate chooses to throw at me, I know I can always find my peace at the end of the day behind the shower curtain.

This essay is relatable yet personal! The writer makes themself supremely human through discussing the universal subject of showering. That being said, an essay about showering could easily turn boring while still being relatable. This writer keeps its relatable moments interesting and fun through vivid descriptions of common feelings including “causing me to abruptly end my shower in a mad dash to the computer before I forget it entirely” and “the stomachache from a guacamole-induced lack of self-control.”

While describing a universal feeling, this student also cleverly and intentionally mentions small facts about their life through simple phrases like “I’m mostly just ridding myself of the germs from children at work sneezing on me” and “the childlike dreamer and wannabe author in me.” To put it simply, though we are talking about a shower, we learn about so much more!

And, at the end, the student lets us know that that is exactly why they love showers. Showers are more than meets the eye! With this insightful and reflective ending (“the big moments are too rare, too fleeting to make anyone truly happy”), readers learn about this student’s capacity for reflection, which is an important capacity as you enter college.

The one major error that this writer commits is that of using a trite transition. The inclusion of “Honestly though” at the beginning of this student’s ending detracts from what they are trying to say and sticks out in their writing.

Prompt #7, Example #2

Steam whooshed from the pot as I unveiled my newest creation: duck-peppercorn-chestnut dumplings. The spicy, hearty aroma swirled into the kitchen, mingling with the smell of fresh dough. Grinning, I grabbed a plump dumpling with chopsticks, blew carefully, and fed it into the waiting mouth of my little sister. Her eyes widening, she vigorously nodded and held up five stubby fingers. I did a little happy dance in celebration and pulled my notebook out of my apron pocket. Duck-peppercorn-chestnut: five stars.

In my household, dumplings are a far cry from the classic pork and cabbage. Our menu boasts everything from the savory lamb-bamboo shoot-watercress to the sweet and crispy apple-cinnamon-date. A few years ago, my sister claimed she was sick of eating the same flavors over and over. Refusing to let her disavow our family staple, I took her complaint as a challenge to make the tastiest and most unconventional dumplings to satisfy her. With her as my taste tester and Mum in charge of dough, I spent months experimenting with dozens of odd ingredient combinations.

During those days spent covered in flour, my dumplings often reminded me of myself—a hybrid of ingredients that don’t usually go together. I am the product of three distinct worlds: the suburbs of Boston, the rural Chinese village of [location removed], and the coastal city of [location removed]. At school, I am both the STEM nerd with lightning-fast mental math and the artistic plant mom obsessed with funky earrings. I love all that is elegant, from Chinese calligraphy to the rolling notes of the Gourd flute, yet I can be very not elegant, like when my sister and I make homemade slime. When I’m on the streets, marching for women’s rights and climate action, I’m loud, bellowing from the bottom of my gut. In the painting studio, though, I don’t speak unless spoken to, and hours can slip by like minutes. I’m loud and quiet. Elegant and messy. Nerdy and artistic. Suburban, rustic, and metropolitan.

While I’m full of odd combinations, they are only seemingly contradictory. Just as barbeque pork and pineapple can combine beautifully in a dumpling wrapper, different facets of my identity also converge. After my tenth-grade summer, when I spent six weeks studying design at art school and another three researching the brain at Harvard Med, I began asking myself: What if I mixed art and neuroscience together? That fall, I collaborated with my school’s art museum for an independent research project, exploring two questions: How are aesthetic experiences processed in the brain? And how can neuroscience help museums design exhibits that maximize visitor engagement? I combed through studies with results from tightly controlled experiments, and I spent days gathering my own qualitative data by observing museum visitors and asking them questions. With the help of my artistic skills, I could identify the visual and spatial elements of the exhibits that best held visitors’ attention.

By synergizing two of the ingredients that make me who I am—art and neuroscience—I realized I shouldn’t see the different sides of myself as separate. I learned to instead seek the intersections between aspects of my identity. Since then, I have mixed art with activism to voice my opinions nonverbally, created Spotify playlists with both Chinese and western pop, and written flute compositions using music theory and math. In the future, by continuing to combine my interests, I want to find my niche in the world. I can make a positive impact on society without having to choose just one passion. As of now, my dream is to be a neuroscientist who designs art therapy treatments for mental health patients. Who knows though? Maybe my calling is to be a dim sum chef who teaches pottery on the side. I don’t know where I’ll go, but one thing’s for sure—being a standard pork and cabbage dumpling is definitely not my style.

This essay is outstanding because the student seems likable and authentic. With the first image of the student’s little sister vigorously nodding and holding up “five stubby fingers,” we find ourselves intrigued by the student’s daily life. They additionally show the importance of family, culture, and creativity in their life—these are great things to highlight in your essay!

After the introduction, the student uses their weird dumpling anecdote to transition to a discussion of their unique intersections. This is achieved smoothly because weirdness/uniqueness is the focus of both of these topics. Additionally, the comparison is not awkward because dumplings are used as more than just a transition, but rather are the through-line of the essay—the student weaves in little phrases like “Just as barbeque pork and pineapple can combine beautifully in a dumpling wrapper,” “By synergizing two of the ingredients that make me who I am,” and “being a standard pork and cabbage dumpling is definitely not my style.” This gives the essay its cohesive feel.

Authenticity comes through in this essay as the student recognizes that they don’t know what the future holds. They just know what kind of a person they are—a passionate one!

One change that would improve this student’s essay would be focusing on fewer intersections in their third and last paragraph. The student mentions STEM, music, family activities, activism, and painting, which makes it feel like a distraction in middle of the essay. Focus on the most important things you want to show admissions officers—you can sit at intersections, but you can’t be interested in everything.

Prompt #7, Example #3

“Everyone follow me!” I smiled at five wide-eyed skaters before pushing off into a spiral. I glanced behind me hopefully, only to see my students standing frozen like statues, the fear in their eyes as clear as the ice they swayed on. “Come on!” I said encouragingly, but the only response I elicited was the slow shake of their heads. My first day as a Learn-to-Skate coach was not going as planned.

But amid my frustration, I was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater. At seven, I had been fascinated by Olympic performers who executed thrilling high jumps and dizzying spins with apparent ease, and I dreamed to one day do the same. My first few months on skates, however, sent these hopes crashing down: my attempts at slaloms and toe-loops were shadowed by a stubborn fear of falling, which even the helmet, elbow pads, and two pairs of mittens I had armed myself with couldn’t mitigate. Nonetheless, my coach remained unfailingly optimistic, motivating me through my worst spills and teaching me to find opportunities in failures. With his encouragement, I learned to push aside my fears and attack each jump with calm and confidence; it’s the hope that I can help others do the same that now inspires me to coach.

I remember the day a frustrated staff member directed Oliver, a particularly hesitant young skater, toward me, hoping that my patience and steady encouragement might help him improve. Having stood in Oliver’s skates not much earlier myself, I completely empathized with his worries but also saw within him the potential to overcome his fears and succeed.

To alleviate his anxiety, I held Oliver’s hand as we inched around the rink, cheering him on at every turn. I soon found though, that this only increased his fear of gliding on his own, so I changed my approach, making lessons as exciting as possible in hopes that he would catch the skating bug and take off. In the weeks that followed, we held relay races, played “freeze-skate” and “ice-potato”, and raced through obstacle courses; gradually, with each slip and subsequent success, his fear began to abate. I watched Oliver’s eyes widen in excitement with every skill he learned, and not long after, he earned his first skating badge. Together we celebrated this milestone, his ecstasy fueling my excitement and his pride mirroring my own. At that moment, I was both teacher and student, his progress instilling in me the importance of patience and a positive attitude.

It’s been more than ten years since I bundled up and stepped onto the ice for the first time. Since then, my tolerance for the cold has remained stubbornly low, but the rest of me has certainly changed. In sharing my passion for skating, I have found a wonderful community of eager athletes, loving parents, and dedicated coaches from whom I have learned invaluable lessons and wisdom. My fellow staffers have been with me, both as friends and colleagues, and the relationships I’ve formed have given me far more poise, confidence, and appreciation for others. Likewise, my relationships with parents have given me an even greater gratitude for the role they play: no one goes to the rink without a parent behind the wheel!

Since that first lesson, I have mentored dozens of children, and over the years, witnessed tentative steps transform into powerful glides and tears give way to delighted grins. What I have shared with my students has been among the greatest joys of my life, something I will cherish forever. It’s funny: when I began skating, what pushed me through the early morning practices was the prospect of winning an Olympic medal. Now, what excites me is the chance to work with my students, to help them grow, and to give back to the sport that has brought me so much happiness.

A major strength of this essay comes in its narrative organization. When reading this first paragraph, we feel for the young skaters and understand their fear—skating sounds scary! Then, because the writer sets us up to feel this empathy, the transition to the second paragraph where the student describes their empathy for the young skaters is particularly powerful. It’s like we are all in it together! The student’s empathy for the young skaters also serves as an outstanding, seamless transition to the applicant discussing their personal journey with skating: “I was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater.”

This essay positions the applicant as a grounded and caring individual. They are caring towards the young skaters—changing their teaching style to try to help the young skaters and feeling the young skaters’ emotions with them—but they are also appreciative to those who helped them as they reference their fellow staffers and parents. This shows great maturity—a favorable quality in the eyes of an admissions officer.

At the end of the essay, we know a lot about this student and are convinced that they would be a good addition to a college campus!

Prompt #7, Example #4

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Prompt #7, Example #5

“We’re ready for take-off!”

The tires hit the tarmac and began to accelerate, and I just realized what I had signed up for. For 24 hours straight, I strapped myself into a broken-down SUV whereas others chose the luxury of soaring through the skies for a mere two hours. Especially with my motion sickness and driving anxiety, I would call myself crazy too.

To say I have always remained in my comfort zone is an understatement. Did I always order chicken fingers and fries at a restaurant? Yup! Sounds like me. Did I always create a color-coded itinerary just for a day trip? Guilty as charged. Did I always carry a first-aid kit at all times? Of course! I would make even an ambulance look unprepared. And yet here I was, choosing 1,000 miles of misery from Las Vegas to Seattle despite every bone in my body telling me not to.

The sunlight blinded my eyes and a wave of nausea swept over me. Was it too late to say I forgot my calculator? It was only ten minutes in, and I was certain that the trip was going to be a disaster. I simply hoped that our pre-drive prayer was not stuck in God’s voicemail box.

All of a sudden, I noticed brightly colored rocks in the distance, ones I had been dying to see for years. Their fluorescence popped amongst the magnificent winding hills as the sunset became romantic in hue. The desert glistened with mirages of deep blue water unlike anything I had ever seen. Nevada was home, but home always seemed to be just desert and casinos. For once, I looked forward to endless desert outside my window rather than a sea of clouds.

I never realized how little I discovered of the world beyond home. For years I complained about how there was nothing to do or discover outside. Not once did I set out to prove myself wrong. Instead, I chose a daily routine of homework at the kitchen table and late-night TV. However, as summer vacation ended, I decided to set my stubbornness aside and finally give this drive back home a chance. Little did I know that it would turn out to be my favorite trip of all time.

As we drove along, the world chose to prove me wrong when I discovered Heaven on Earth along Shasta Lake. I stood out of the sunroof, surrounded by lush green mountains and fog. I extended my arms out and felt a sense of flight that no plane could ever take me on. As the water vapor kissed my face, I floated into a dreamland I never wanted to leave. I didn’t have to go to great lengths to discover the beauty of the world; it was right in front of me. From this moment on, comfort and convenience would no longer be my best friends. Rather than only looking for famous travel destinations or following carefully mapped-out routes, I would let curiosity lead the way.

Since then, my daily life has been anything but routine. I’m proud to boast of my family’s homemade kombucha attempts, of flights purchased and taken in one day, and of a home flooded with knick-knacks from thrifting trips. Every day I set out to try something new, see a different perspective, and go beyond normal. Whether it is by trying a new recipe using taro, making a risky fashion choice with wide-legged pants, or listening to a new music genre in Spanish, I always act with curiosity first.

Over the years, I have devoted my time towards learning Swedish, building computers, and swimming. Although my accent is horrid, some computers almost broke, and even a starfish would outswim me, I continue to enjoy activities I once criticized. For me, there is no enjoyment without some risk. Nobody I know is a kazoo-playing, boogie-board loving, boba connoisseur like me.

This essay is an Overcoming Challenges story that centers around a single anecdote. The structure works nicely as the student describes what they were like before their road trip, what happened on the road trip, and what they were like after.

The most major improvement that this essay needs is better-communicated authenticity. At the beginning, it feels a bit gimmicky. The student describes their preparedness, particularly the fact that they always carry a first aid kit, and it’s not super believable. Then, when they write “Was it too late to say I forgot my calculator?” it feels like we are in a sitcom and the student is that funny obsessive kid. Sitcom characters don’t feel real and you want to make yourself appear profoundly real.

On a similar note, the narrative arc of this essay isn’t entirely believable. The student describes a large personality and value shift but doesn’t describe any struggles that accompany the shift. A quick shift like that is far from easy. On the other hand, if the immediacy of the shift was easy, they could write about moments after their shift in mindset when they have felt troubled by residual desires to stay in their comfort zone, instead of writing “I always act with curiosity first.”

The greatest strength of this essay is the paragraphs beginning “I never realized how little…” and “As we drove along…” The fixation on comfort seems much more believable when it involves “homework at the kitchen table and late-night TV.” The descriptions of the drive provide beautiful, evocative imagery. And it’s topped off with some nice reflection! Digging into this great portion of the essay would make this an even stronger essay!

Want to see more examples? Check out this post with 16 strong essay examples from top schools , including common supplemental essay questions.

At selective schools, your essays account for around 25% of your admissions decision. That’s more than grades (20%) and test scores (15%), and almost as much as extracurriculars (30%). Why is this? Most students applying to top schools will have stellar academics and extracurriculars. Your essays are your chance to stand out and humanize your application.

That’s why it’s vital that your essays are engaging, and present you as someone who would enrich the campus community.

Before submitting your application, you should have someone else review your essays. It’s even better if that person doesn’t know you personally, as they can best tell whether your personality shines through your essay.

That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Which program are you applying to?

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Everything you need to know to get Accepted

December 22, 2023

Five Tips for Writing Compelling PsyD Personal Statements

“What should I include?” “How do I start?” “What will impress the admissions committee?” These are the most common questions PsyD applicants ask about their application essay. What makes this task even more confusing is that different programs refer to this same essay as a “personal statement,” a “statement of purpose,” a “graduate essay,” a “statement of goals,” a “personal history,” and even a “letter of intent.” Some programs might request two or three essays: one that is biographical, one that addresses the issue of diversity , and perhaps one that serves as a more formal research proposal. As applicants prepare to write their essays, they’re often confounded by questions.

Making your personal statements more dynamic

As you prepare to write your PsyD personal statement, here are five tips to help you make it as persuasive and memorable as possible.

Tip #1: Understand the importance of the personal statement in admissions decisions.

Although your transcript(s), recommendations, and GRE scores (if required) all factor into your target program’s admissions decision, your personal statement is what can really “close” the deal. Adcoms read candidates’ statements very carefully. They use this submission to learn more about your disposition for studying clinical psychology; your educational background; your clinical, academic, and research experience; and your short- and long-term career aspirations. Here is where you have the opportunity to highlight the strengths and qualifications you possess that will set you apart from other qualified applicants. These might include the following:

Your fit with the program
Desirable qualities and qualifications
Your ability to articulate your ideas in a clear and engaging way
How your academic studies, human services experience, field research, and long-term goals have sparked your determination to pursue PsyD graduate studies
Any influences that have inspired your decision to apply to a PsyD program, if applicable, such as an internship, job, community service experience, acquaintance who works in the field, or a research experience (Make sure you provide short narratives about the experience[s] or person[s], which will make you more memorable to the faculty committee.)

Many PsyD personal statement prompts will ask you to share personal experiences. As you relate these experiences, you want to demonstrate your self-reflection skills and that you understand the importance of clear boundaries. Remember that the purpose of this essay to is provide information to the adcom that will help in assessing your qualifications for the program.

Tip #2: Read the prompts carefully, and customize your personal statement for each PsyD program.

Programs can easily spot a template or generic personal statement and will, most likely, place such essays in the “no” pile. It is therefore important to customize your personal statement for each program to which you apply.

Each school provides a brief description of the information it is seeking in the personal statement. One program might limit this essay to 1,000 words, in which you must address multiple questions or topics. Another might specify two or three single- or double-spaced pages, while others might limit the number of characters (with or without spaces) with which you can cover certain topics. Pay special attention to each school’s directions. Not following the stated directives will, at the least, irritate the adcom and might even result in your application being placed in the “no” pile. PsyD programs are highly selective and competitive, and if you cannot follow clearly stated directions, it calls into question your ability to manage the academic rigor of the program. Carefully read the entire prompt, and be sure to respond to each part of it.

We suggest creating a spreadsheet that lists each program’s personal statement questions/requirements. This cross-checking tool will help you identify common topics among the programs you’re targeting, which might include the following:

Academic objectives related to the curriculum
Prior research experience and graduate-level research interests (Some schools request a graduate research proposal.)
Relevant community service, job, or internship experiences
Short- and long-term professional/career goals

Tip #3: Identify the specific faculty member(s) with whom you wish to work.

Some PsyD programs ask applicants to note in the application the name or names of faculty members with whom they wish to work if they are admitted. Whether or not your target program requests this information, include it in your personal statement, naming the specific faculty members you have pinpointed. To identify these individuals, look at the faculty profiles on the program’s website to see whose work connects with your interests. Read journal articles that match your research and/or clinical interests. In your explanation of why you would like to work with a particular faculty member, clearly present your precise reason(s) (e.g., they focus on a certain population or clinical issue).

Tip #4: Check out the program’s website for special opportunities you could highlight in the “Why this school/program?” portion of your personal statement.

To make a convincing argument for why you are targeting a particular PsyD program, you need to identify aspects of the experience that relate directly to your needs and interests and then name them in your personal statement. These items could include the following:

Clinical sites, including practica and internships
Courses, specializations, and/or concentrations that you find appealing
Participation/presentations at professional conferences, including APA regional conventions
On-site and/or off-site research centers
Graduate student groups of interest
Theoretical perspective or orientation of the program (e.g., a focus on social justice)

Avoid generic statements about the program’s “excellent faculty” or “strong academic reputation.” The adcom will likely view such statements as cliches or basic pandering.

#5: Being detailed can help you stand out.

Faculty adcoms work hard to fairly review each candidate before making their admissions decision. As a result, they are seeking. They don’t need to “dig” through the application to find it. Avoid making overarching statements, such as “I did some research.” Provide the details: What was the research? With whom did you work? When did you do it? What did you learn? Was it published? Was it presented at a scholarly event or conference? If you are sharing information on a course you enjoyed, include the “whys,” “whats,” and “hows.” For example, explain why the professor was particularly inspiring, what specific course content added to your knowledge base, and/or how the course content reinforced your determination to pursue graduate studies and/or research in this field.

Are there particular populations or clinical issues that you are drawn to? If so, include an explanation of why these are of interest.

After completing your specificity check and before you submit your application, be sure to do the following:

Conduct a spell/grammar check. Although it might not catch everything, running a simple spell/grammar check is an excellent first step.
Read your entire personal statement aloud to yourself. You might be surprised by the number of errors and omissions you will notice that the computer-generated spell/grammar check missed.
Check the word/character/page count to ensure that it conforms to the school’s requirements.
Ask an unbiased person to read for grammar and spelling errors. A “fresh set of eyes” could notice issues you might have overlooked.
Review your statement to ensure that its content complements – without duplicating or repeating — information found elsewhere in your application.
Proofread your statement multiple times.

By Alice Diamond , former associate dean for career and community service at Lesley University. Alice has a BA from Colgate University, an MA from Bryn Mawr College, and an MS from Cornell University. She has more than 35 years of experience in career and admissions advising for undergraduate and graduate candidates. Alice’s clients have been accepted to top programs in a wide range of fields. Want to work with Alice? Click here to get in touch!

Related Resources

Five Fatal Flaws to Avoid in Your Grad School Statement of Purpose , a free guide
Graduate School in Psychology: PsyD or PhD, Which Is Right for You?
Acing the PsyD Interview: The 3-P Plan

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Essay Samples on Psychology

The majority of college students who have to deal with essays about Psychology are not necessarily future specialists in Psychology or Healthcare. Just think about modern business studies or marketing where leadership qualities must be studied. The same relates to Criminology or Forensic Research assignments where the use of psychology becomes essential. It provides modern learners with a plethora of ideas that can be explored. If you are stuck and need inspiration, focus on the free psychology essay examples that we provide for you. The list of subjects that are presented ranges from the theorists to case study samples to help you understand the difference between various essay types. Remember that your introduction part will always depend on your target audience and the level of knowledge they have. It means that you should provide statistical data or study reports only to an extent that will be sufficient for your methodology or academic objectives. See how it has been done in the free samples that we offer by reading actual writing. These are only provided as templates that you should use for inspirational and educational purposes. As you compose your own Psychology essay, keep things unique and always provide relevant references.

Why Psychology Major: Understanding the Human Mind

Why psychology major? This question lies at the heart of my academic journey, drawing me toward a field that offers a profound exploration of the intricacies of human behavior, cognition, and emotions. The decision to major in psychology is driven by a deep curiosity about...

Social Psychology

Why Psychology: Exploring the Fascinating Depths of the Human Mind

Why psychology? This simple yet profound question has intrigued many curious minds over the years, including mine. The allure of psychology lies in its ability to delve into the intricate complexities of human behavior, cognition, and emotions. As a field that bridges science and humanity,...

Why I Chose Psychology: Path to Understanding the Human Mind

Why I chose psychology as my field of study is a question rooted in my profound curiosity about the complexities of the human mind and behavior. From a young age, I found myself intrigued by the intricate web of thoughts, emotions, and motivations that shape...

Sports Psychology: Unleashing the Mental Edge in Athletic Performance

Sports psychology is a dynamic field that delves into the intricate relationship between the mind and athletic performance. It offers a comprehensive understanding of how psychological factors influence athletes' behaviors, attitudes, and outcomes in sports. By exploring the psychological aspects of sports, athletes and coaches...

The Social Learning Theory in Psychology

Social Learning Theory, a prominent psychological concept developed by Albert Bandura, offers valuable insights into how individuals acquire new behaviors and adapt their actions based on the observations of others. This theory emphasizes the significant role of social interactions, modeling, and reinforcement in shaping human...

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The Profound Contributions of Sigmund Freud to Psychology

Sigmund Freud, often referred to as the "father of psychoanalysis," has left an indelible mark on the field of psychology through his groundbreaking theories and revolutionary insights into the human mind. His contributions have reshaped the way we understand human behavior, unconscious processes, and the...

Psychological Depths of "Shutter Island"

Shutter Island is a psychological thriller that delves into the intricate workings of the human mind, presenting a captivating narrative interwoven with themes of identity, memory, and the blurred lines between reality and illusion. Directed by Martin Scorsese and based on Dennis Lehane's novel, the...

Exploring the Diverse Schools of Psychology

Schools of psychology represent distinct approaches and perspectives in understanding human behavior, cognition, and emotion. Each school offers a unique lens through which psychologists analyze and interpret psychological phenomena. This essay delves into the fascinating world of psychology by exploring some of the prominent schools...

Exploring the Depths of Psychology Research

Psychology research is an intricate journey into the complexities of the human mind and behavior. It is a realm of inquiry that spans from unraveling the mysteries of cognitive processes to understanding the intricacies of social interactions. This essay delves into the realm of psychology...

Psychology: Illuminating Perspectives in an Argumentative Discourse

Psychology is an ever-evolving realm that delves into the intricacies of the human mind, behavior, and emotions. As a discipline rooted in empirical investigation, it has sparked a myriad of debates and discussions that continue to shape our understanding of human nature. This essay embarks...

Exploring Personality Psychology: Unveiling the Complexities Within

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A Passion for Psychology: Nurturing the Flames Within

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The History of Abnormal Psychology: Unveiling the Layers of Time

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Health Psychology: Exploring the Nexus of Mind and Body

Health psychology stands as a vital branch of psychology that delves into the intricate relationship between psychological factors and physical well-being. This essay unravels the depths of health psychology, shedding light on its significance, applications, and the transformative power it holds in shaping our understanding...

Free Will vs. Determinism in Psychology: Navigating the Paradox

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Psychology in Everyday Life: Unveiling the Intricacies

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Exploring the Essence of Counselling Psychology

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A Reflective on Clinical Psychology

Clinical psychology is a realm that delves into the intricate landscapes of the human mind, offering both challenges and revelations. This reflective essay on clinical psychology invites a contemplative exploration of my personal journey, growth, and insights as I navigated the complexities of this field....

What Motivates Me as a Student

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Unraveling Learning Processes: Exploring the Difference Between Classical and Operant Conditioning

Learning is a complex process that underlies our behaviors and responses to the environment. Classical conditioning and operant conditioning are two prominent theories that provide insights into how learning occurs. This essay delves into the fundamental difference between classical and operant conditioning, shedding light on...

Classical Conditioning
Operant Conditioning

Evolution of Childhood: Comparing Childhood Today to the Past

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Compare and Contrast Ananysis of Piaget and Vygotsky in Terms of Cognitive Development

Jean Piaget and Lev Vygotsky are two influential figures in the field of developmental psychology who have offered distinct theories on cognitive development. While their approaches share commonalities, they also diverge in fundamental ways. This compare and contrast essay delves into the key similarities and...

Jean Piaget
Lev Vygotsky Theory

Childhood and Adulthood: Compare And Contrast the Main Phases of Life

The transition from childhood to adulthood is a profound journey marked by significant physical, emotional, and psychological changes. Childhood and adulthood represent distinct phases of life, each with its own set of experiences, responsibilities, and perspectives. This compare and contrast essay explores the similarities and...

Analysis of Social Media Effects on Body Image

In today's digitally connected world, social media has become an integral part of our lives, influencing the way we communicate, share, and perceive ourselves. One of the prominent and concerning aspects of social media is its effects on body image. The relentless exposure to carefully...

Effects of Social Media

Religion and Morality in Arthur Miller's "The Crucible"

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The Crucible

How to Overcome Procrastination by Making It Your Friend

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Procrastination

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Personal Experience

Different Perspectives in Modern Psychology: an Overview

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Cognitive Psychology
Human Behavior
Perspective

Cause and Effect of Procrastination Among College Students

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College Students

Rising Above Negativity: A Journey in Music and Self-Belief

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Life Lesson

Exploring Child Development: Observations and Developmental Theories

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Child Behavior
Childhood Development
First Day of School

The Power Dynamics of Adolescent Marginality & Intergenerational Conflict

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Adolescence
Critical Theory
Sociological Theory

Common Childhood Illness: Treatments and Exclusion Periods

When working with young children, practitioners need to be aware of common childhood illnesses, the signs and symptoms and how to treat children when they become unwell. Common childhood illness includes a common cold, asthma, chickenpox, hand foot and mouth, meningitis, whopping cough, conjunctivitis, and...

The Existence of Genuine Altruism From Social Psychology Perspective

There are several social behaviours that humans exhibit some are negative and some are positive. Altruism is one of such social behaviours. What is altruism and is there anything like genuine altruism? This essay attempts to answer the question whether there is genuine altruism from...

The Psychological State of Ressentiment in the Genealogy of Morals

The psychological state Friedrich Nietzsche terms as ressentiment in the Genealogy of Morals, is a human condition attributed to a feeling produced when placed within a hostile environment. One which man is found powerless to alter through physical action. Those inflicted to this deprived orientation...

Friedrich Nietzsche
Philosophical Works

Nurturing Students for Life: The Power of Teachers as Role Models and the Integration of Learning Theories

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Assessing Adolescent Knowledge and Attitudes towards Reproductive Health

Reproductive health is the important component in the adolescent age, as the one which is in highly risk group to get different sexual and reproductive health problem. Reproductive health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being in all matters relating to the...

Reproductive Health
Sexual Health

Exploration of Psychodynamic and the Behavioural Learning Approaches

Psychology is the scientific study of the mind that influences our behaviour using professional practice. The word psychology comes from the Greek 'psyche' meaning mind, soul and spirit. Wilhelm Wundt opened the first psychological laboratory in Germany to investigate the mind through inspection and observation...

Psychologists
Sigmund Freud

Prosocial Intergroup Behavior in Norway: Study Review

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Prosocial Behavior
Volunteering

The Role of a Clinical Psychologist in Treating Problem Drinking: Examining Effective Therapeutic Approaches

Problem drinking is not necessarily alcoholism; alcoholism is, however, a form of problem drinking. For a problem drinker when they drink it can cause problems for them and those around them, but they are not necessarily physically dependent on alcohol. They may be able to...

Job Description

The Relationship Between Prosocial Behaviour and Mimicry

People are naturally inclined to mimic. Mimicry has been observed across all cultures and ages in peculiar phenomena like contagious yawning or laughter. Chartrand and Bargh noted that people frequently imitate others’ posture and facial expressions unintentionally, and Bandura demonstrated the essential role of mimicry...

Reflective Learning: the Power of Self-Analysis and Personal Growth

A reflective essay is a unique form of essay writing where you examine an experience and reflect on your own self. Use strong evidence and explain the real or imaginary scene in an interesting manner. A reflective essay is a type of writing in which...

Critical Reflection
Self Reflection

Albert Bandura: Pioneering Contributions to Social Learning Theory

'Learning would be exceedingly laborious, not to mention hazardous, if people had to rely solely on the effects of their own actions to inform them what to do'. Albert Bandura was a Canadian born psychologist who identified The Social Learning theory in the 1960's. Psychology...

Famous Person

Discussion on the Relationship Between Intelligence and Creativity

The relationship between intelligence and creativity has been subjected to research for many years. Unfortunately, there is yet no consensus on how these constructs are related. The connection between intelligence and creativity is that they are functions of the brain that handle data to determine...

Intelligence

Cognitive Explanation of Schizophrenia: Implications of the Theory

Schizophrenia is a severe mental illness that affects how a person thinks, feels, and behaves. It is a complex disorder that involves a wide range of symptoms, including hallucinations, delusions, and disordered thinking. The cognitive explanation of schizophrenia is revealed in this essay as one...

Schizophrenia

What Is Emotional Intelligence: the Significance of Human Beings

Ever since I was a child I developed a great passion regarding human beings and their behaviour in all sorts of situations, no matter the context. I have always paid attention to the importance of emotions in day to day life, and I noticed in...

Emotional Intelligence

Creative and Critical Thinking: Combining the Achievements of Thought

Creative, one word that can be interpreted in many ways whether in thoughts which is include ways of thinking and actions and also in verbal form. Critical, on the other side refers to the ability to analyse information objectively and make a reasoned judgment. It...

Critical Thinking

Critical Thinking Skills and Their Importance Today

As rapid urbanization continues to dominate the world, humans are being exposed to brand new ideas that feeds their mind logistically as well as holistically. This phenomenon in turn opens an opportunity for us to gain knowledge in various subjects that equips us with an...

How Unrealistic Beauty Standards on Social Media Affect Girls

Teenagers are affected by social media everyday by posting pictures and worrying about what other people are thinking. According to Mahita Gajanan from 'The Guardian' did a study and asked girls about their self-esteem and experiences with social media. Most of the girls that were...

Media Influence

How to Cope With Stress: Personality Types and Bible Verses

Since stress is an important contributing factor towards all kinds of diseases, knowing how to cope with it is a major key to good health. Therefore, it is important to learn the different methods that can be used in order to reduce stress or even...

Stress Response

College Stress: How to Manage It and Keep It Under Your Control

Most likely the least refreshing type of stress is college stress. This is generally because of the way that grown-ups essentially observe a great deal of college understudies sitting on their backsides playing computer games and drinking, rather than seeing understudies who are experiencing strain...

Academic Challenges

The Most Stressful Life Stage: Exploring Adolescence

Adolescence is the transitional period in human development between childhood and adulthood. It is also described as a period of rapid growth, where a person undergoes major changes in the physical, psychological and social domains. It is also important for the development of identity, as...

Nature vs Nurture: Is Identity Innate or Learned

Introduction The idea of being loved whether it be by family, significant other, or even by society, is one that we all strive for in our day-to-day lives, however, is this love we are trying to receive based on things we have lack of control...

Individual Identity
Nature Versus Nurture

Resilient and Resilience in Relation to Optimism and Well Being

When I started to learn positive psychology I had absolutly no idea what to expect from it, so I just thought that it will be some hippie practise about how to be happy all the time. Then we had our first lesson. We learned about...

Negative Effects of Technology on Child Development and Mental Health

Technology has rapidly grown throughout the world and has become the most reliable necessity in the world today. Tablets, cameras, laptops, smartphones, etc. devices have overtaken the human population. The world is surrounded by technology all around- at home, at school, at work, everywhere. On...

Negative Impact of Technology

Being Resilient: The Features That Foster Resilience

Before this course, I had very little and superficial knowledge about resilience but now after studying this course in detail, I understand this concept much better. For me, resilience is the ability bounce back after adverse situations. In the video, Michael Chandler defines resilient individuals...

Negative Effects of Technology on Child Development

In our modern society, technology is everywhere, specifically digital technology, and nearly everyone has some form of device whether it is a smartphone, smartwatch, tablet, laptop, computer, television, or even smart tv. Our world is loaded with technology because in theory it is all supposed...

Procrastination and the Harmful Effects of It on Job Performance

Procrastination is when someone has a job or task to do, and they say “I will do it later.” If they put it off until later, in some cases, they can lose your job. If someone is a chef and they reply to your boss...

Performance

Childhood Trauma and Its Negative Effects on the Child's Development

Complex childhood trauma is currently suffered by numerous students in Primary schools around the world. It usually commences in the early years of a child’s life, when they are exposed to pervasive and traumatic events causing severe impacts that will continue to disrupt a number...

Body Image and Mental Health: Impact of Social Media

Technology is quickly rising and upgrading every day and social media has become one of the most-used forms of technology. Social media such as Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat are digital platforms which allow users to upload and share their content with others and also make...

Body Image Pressure Among Young Adults and Adolescence

Body image and its notion of impressing other people through it has become like a general trend amongst the youth. They try to change their body figures, and their characters while trying to impress others. The majority of youths do matters to enhance how they...

Effects Of Growing Up With a Single Parent and How It Can Affect Your Life

Growing up in a single parent household can affect your life in many ways, a few examples includes how you view your relationships, how you carry yourself, and especially your future. Half of my existence I grew up in a single parent household and I...

Single Parenting

Why Juveniles Should Not Be Tried As Adults

Furthermore, children that commit crimes are products of their environment in which they live. For example, when children constantly get sexually abused, it causes immense amounts of trauma and a false sense of love. Often a traumatic experience for all is an offense punishable by...

Criminal Behavior

What Was The Environment In Which You Were Raised

I remember myself since I was three years old. I was a lively and inquisitive child. I had many friends and we spent a lot of time together. My parents were very busy at that moment, they were working and building our house. I spent...

Benefits and Importance Of Early Childhood Education

“If school is about learning, and learning starts at birth, then the idea that we expect Kindergarteners to meet their first teachers at age five is all wrong. There is increasing research being facilitated on early education with specific emphasis on the overall benefits it...

Early Childhood Education
Importance of Education

The Transition From Childhood To Adulthood

As human beings, we start off as just a fetus in a mother's womb. However, as time passes, we evolve. Every human being goes through many different phases in life. We go from being babies and eventually we become adults. Each phase is unique and...

Causes and Treatment of Childhood Obesity

'He is just a kid, give him what he wants'. This is the phase that is mostly used by the parents in order to encourage their children from eating what they want as long as it will make them happy. However, the statistic has shown...

Childhood Obesity
Eating Disorders

Human Nature in the Lost TV Show: Are Humans Inherently Good or Evil

Throughout humanity, the nature of humankind has been questioned by philosophers, leading them to conclude whether humans are inherently good or evil. Thomas Hobbes, a British philosopher that lived in the 1600s, believes that humans are born selfish and greedy, which leads to violence and...

Good and Evil
Human Nature

The Benefits of Video Games Both for Children and Adults

Ever since the 1970s the video game industry has grown quite a lot in popularity and has become the largest market in the world. There have been a lot of changes to how video games are made not only in the different genres for people...

Development
Human Development
Video Games

Why is Early Childhood Education Important

In this essay, I will discuss how strong value operates within the perspective of education and what are main concepts, design of theories from conforming perspective of education. This essay will show some theories which are pedagogy. My explanation will be reflected by nature and...

Problem Solving: Use of Math in Our Everyday Life

What I say about math is that I really don’t like it, but at the end of the day through high school math I have learned how to solve problems and not give up when I don’t fully understand something. I dislike math, but I do need it. The reason why I dislike math is that...

Mathematics in Everyday Life
Problem Solving

Why You Should Let Your Kid Play Football

It’s Friday night. Many parents and friends gather around to watch us in our first game of the year. The lights slowly begin to light up the field as we approach the 50-yard line, we toss the coin and the game begins. Down by 7...

Child Development

Growing A Grit And Growth Mindset

In today's society, there is a belief that intelligence is tied to GPA. There is a stereotype about intelligence. It is the idea that you are either smart or not smart. You either understand it or you do not. What happens if you are between?...

Personal Growth and Development

Effects Of Violent Video Gaming On Human Behavior

There are many various kinds of games and consoles within the world and vying worldwide. Video play has become a very common trade all over the world and has been growing exceptionally throughout the past twenty years. Gamers that are obsessed with online play are...

Impact of Video Games
Violence in Video Games

Why I Want To Be A Teacher: It Isn’t Just A Career, But It's A Calling

Being a teacher isn’t just a career, having the ability to enable a child to further make sense of the world around them and become a honourable and respectful member of society, gives me such a profound sense of pride and happiness. I want to...

Teaching Philosophy

Bilingual Education In Childhood For Effective Social Communication And Development

Today’s society places a heavy emphasis on the importance of being an effective social communicator, whether it be through verbal or non-verbal skills. Presently, more than half of the world’s population is multilingual and an increasingly larger number of people have been exposed to another...

Bilingualism
Educational Psychology

Importance of Reflection and Learning From Past Incidents

To practice competently, reflection is important because it allows one to critically think about past or present events, evaluate situations and then use the knowledge obtained to act accordingly in future situations. All of which improves patient care and helps minimise bad practice in the...

Solution-Focused and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy

In this essay I would like to examine three approaches, Gestalt, Solution-focused therapy, and Cognitive Behaviour therapy and how I intend on using them within my practice as an integrative counsellor. In my previous essay I proposed how I would use the person centred, psychodynamic...

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Transition's Impact on a Child’s Mental Health

In this essay I will be discussing and outlining the issues of how the transition can have an impact on a child’s mental health, emotions and their overall academic performance. I will also be discussing how development and puberty can affect a child, as well...

Child Psychology
Growth Mindset

Emergency Management and Bystander Behavior Effect

This essay will compare and contrast two approaches to understanding bystander responses to emergencies. The approaches explored in the essay are the experiment approach and discourse analysis, each being explained in further detail later in the essay. Bystander behavior (effect) can be explained as the...

Emergency Management
The Bystander Effect

The Impact of Technology on Wealth, Aging, and Lifestyle

Wealth, lifestyle, aging populations, and technological advances are said to be having a major impact on the growth of healthcare demand. This essay considers the impact of each of these factors and discusses how successful the introduction of so called ‘sin-taxes‘ have been in changing...

Individual Differences and Differences in the Functioning of Brain

It is irrefutable that people differ considerably from one another, with this variability arising from a unique combination of hereditary, biological factors and lived environmental experiences. Comprising persistent individual factors differentiating individuals from one another to establish distinctiveness, individual differences (namely those of intelligence and...

Human Brain

An Essay Concerning Human Understanding byJohn Locke

Psychology was derived from two other disciplines; physiology, the study of how living things work, and philosophy, the theories behind why living things behave the way they do. Philosophy and physiology are intertwined, in that they both have contributed to the study of the other....

The Role of Personal Development Planning Today

The essay deals with the PKSC module experiences that reflect on the academic study. Here, the different lectures are guided regarding the reflection that ensure the personal development. The other skills are mentioned research skills, digital skills, reading skills and MS office skills. Besides, the...

Personal Development Planning
Personal Goals

Psychosexual Development Theory and Child’s Personality

In this essay I am going to examine the age group of children 0-5 and how the psychological experience can impact on their transitions, during their life span. To achieve this task, I am going to analyze different theories in relation to all holistic aspects...

Homosexuality

Influence of Two Key Learning and Development Theories

This essay will discuss the applications and influence of two key learning and development theories to educational practice and policy. The aim is of this essay is to discuss two key development theories to educational practices. The two key theories are 1. Piaget and his...

Developmental Psychology
Learning Styles
Study Skills

Social Phenomena of Individual and External Circumstances in a Society

In todays society scholars all across the world have conflict in the matter which talks about how race and an individual’s identity shapes how we all live our lives. We can all come to a conclusion where we agree that everyone from individuals to a...

Optimism: Perception of Life is a Matter of Perspective

Our perception of life is a matter of perspective. From a young age we are taught to see the glass as half-empty or half-full. This perception is a simple example of optimistic or pessimistic behavior. Optimism is typically viewed as an individual’s ability to see...

Positive Psychology

The Move “Better Luck Tomorrow” by Justine Lin

The move, illustrates an image hidden behind well-mannered students of Sunny Hills high schools who are trying hard to over achieve. The main characters Ben and Virgil is showed as those over achievers of high schools who are known for their grades and extracurricular activities....

Social Movement

Swimming as a Hard Skill Necessary for Human Being

Swimming is hard. For non-swimmers swimming is harder than most realise and not easy to take up as a regular sport. All those good swimmers you see have excellent cardio-respiratory fitness and often years of technique training. So don't be discouraged. And... The first step...

The Benefits of Online Dating to Society

“There’s the old saying that you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince”, and I think that really applies to online dating. The growing popularity of online dating sites is significantly remarkable. The dramatic increase in Internet usage, indeed, has spread...

Online Dating

How Peer Pressure Push an Adolescent to Be a Part of Peer Group

The theoretical framework which is for the complete dissertation inquiry, serves as the guide on which to build and help the study, consists of the selected concept (or theories) that under-builds researcher’s thinking with regards to how they apprehend and design to lookup the topic....

Peer Pressure

Puberty as The Major Fascinating Transition Throughout Lifespan

A biological process that marks the transition from childhood to adolescence is Puberty. “Puberty is a period of the life span marked by major psychological, endocrine and physical changes that contribute to the metamorphosis of children into reproductively mature adolescents.” Puberty is when your body...

A Deviant Behavior of the Filipino Using the Merton’s Strain

An American Sociologist named Robert K. Merton was born on July 4, 1910 in Philadelphia. This American sociologist developed the Merton’s Strain Theory of Deviance which explains the rising crime rates expression in the United Stated of America (USA) at that time. This theory states...

Deviant Behavior

Human Behavior on the Example of the History and Culture of the United States of America

The United States of America is a unique country indeed. Unique, powerful, modern, advanced in so many arenas. Compared to other countries of similar size and population, America easily overshadows in technological advances, education and legal systems. However, because our great nation is relatively young...

American History

Adult Education and ITS Philosophies

Before pursuing courses on adult education, it had been a while since I had contemplated on educational philosophies and what my actual style might entailed. When assigned this task, I assumed it would be easy to determine, ‘right?’ not so much, given the fact that...

Adult Education Program

The Concept of a Passive and Active Bystander Effect

Groups willingness to help others can be affected in many ways one specifically being the bystander effect. The bystander effect is the tendency for people be unresponsive in high pressure situations due to the presence of other people (Darley & Latane, 1968). There are two...

Review the Different Hypnotherapy Techniques for Phobias

This essay will look at what stress and anxiety are and how that can challenge diagnosis and impact treatment. before going on to other limitations of treatment. I will address phobias; the difference between fears and phobia and how that impacts on choices of treatment...

The Expectations of the Stroop Effect

The Stroop effect is an experimental design that analyzes our automatic responses when observing incongruent stimuli. In this study, a short experimental naming test will be performed with both neutral and interference conditions. A picture of fruit was displayed on a screen with either an...

Stroop Effect

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Psychology Essay Example For Graduate School Admissions

EssayEdge > Blog > Psychology Essay Example For Graduate School Admissions

Ever since my first psychology lecture, I have been fascinated by the nature of human memory. Indeed, human memory is one of the most tenacious and enigmatic problems ever faced by philosophers and psychologists. The discussion of memory dates back to the early Greeks when Plato and Aristotle originally likened it to a “wax tablet.” In 1890, pioneer William James adopted the metaphorical framework and equated memory to a “house” to which thirty years later Sigmund Freud chimed that memory was closer to “rooms in a house.” In 1968, Atkinson and Shrifren retained the metaphorical framework but referred to memory as “stores”. The fact that the controversy surrounding human memory has been marked more by analogy than definition suggests, however, that memory is a far more complex phenomenon than has been uncovered thus far. I intend to spend the rest of my professional life researching the nature of human memory and solving the riddle posed yet cunningly dodged by generations of philosophers and psychologists.

When I first came to psychology, however, I wanted to be a clinical psychologist. Only upon enrolling in Dr. Helga Noice’s Cognitive Psychology course, did I discover the excitement of doing research. The course required us to test our own autobiographical memory by conducting an experiment similar to the one run in 1986 by W. Wagenaar. Over the course of the term, I recorded events from my personal life on event cards and set them aside without reviewing them. After studying the effect serial position on the recollection of autobiographical memories, I hypothesized that events that, when I sat down at the end of therm to recall those same events I had described on the event cards, that events that had occurred later in the term would be recalled with greater frequency than events that had occurred earlier. Although the experiment was of simple design and predictable results, I found the processes incredibly exciting. Autobiographical memory in particular fascinated me because I realized how crucial, yet fragile, memory is. Why was my memory of even ten weeks so imperfect? What factors contributed to that imperfection? Could such factors be controlled?

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The opportunity to perform this research was invaluable, particularly as I began taking independent research seminars in my senior year. For the seminars, I was required to write an extensive review of the literature and then design a research proposal on any topic of my choice. Although I had participated in all aspects of research previously, this was my first opportunity to select my own topic. I was immediately certain that I wanted to explore at human memory. But I spent a long time considering what aspect of memory I found most intriguing and possible to tackle within the confines of the research seminar. I had always been interested in the legal implications of memory, so I to investigate eyewitness memory.

In retrospect, my choice was also informed by my recollection about an experiment I had read about several years earlier. In the experiment, subjects read about Helen Keller. Later they were given a recall test. Still later they were given an additional test to determine the source of their knowledge about Helen Keller. The authors discovered that subjects could not determine the source of their knowledge, that is, they could not distinguish whether specific details of their knowledge about Helen Keller came from the information provided by the experimenters or if the details came from another source at an earlier time. Once their new knowledge about Helen Keller had been assimilated into their previous knowledge about Helen Keller, there was no way to separate the information according to the source it came from.

I wondered what the implications of that conclusion would be for eyewitnesses. I wondered if an eyewitness account could be corrupted by misleading post-event information. My research proposal was entitled “The Rate of Memory Trace Decay and its Effect on Eyewitness Accuracy.” While I was not able to complete the experiment in its entirety, I was excited by the fact that I created a possible research protocol. Immediately, I knew I wanted to pursue the field of experimental psychology. My success in course work and my passion for research demonstrated to me that I had both the interest and ability to enter this challenging and rewording field.

I have dedicated my undergraduate years to preparing myself for graduate work in experimental psychology. Once receive my doctorate, I intend to pursue research on human memory while teaching psychology to undergraduates at a small, liberal arts college, similar to the one I attended. It was, after all, my undergraduate research experience that gave me the opportunity to come to psychology with an interest in counseling people, but to leave with a passion for investigating the nature of human thinking. Undergraduates at smaller liberal arts colleges are often left out of research, which makes my desire to provide such experiences that much stronger. In the years ahead, I look forward to teaching as well as continuing my research. In the company of such greats as Aristotle, James, and Freud, I endeavor to leave behind my own contribution on the nature of human memory.

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Western Nevada College News

Psychology professor takes students to conference in s.f., thanks to donation, fundraising, may 16, 2024.

WNC Professor of Psychology Dr. Rebecca Bevans and Psychology Instructor Jolene Coverston recently took six students to the Western Psychological Association Convention in San Francisco.

Most Recent News

Sometimes it takes a trip outside the classroom to enlighten students and make them aware of career possibilities and motivate them in their chosen field.

For Western Nevada College Professor Psychology Dr. Rebecca Bevans and six of her students, a field trip to San Francisco during the end of spring semester accomplished this purpose.

They attended the four-day Western Psychological Association Convention, learning that scientific research isn’t so boring after all and there are topics and issues that can shape their course of study in the future.

“They were all bitten by the research bug and I could not be happier,” Dr. Bevans said. “Do you know how hard it is to get students interested in research? Let's just say that research is not exciting to everyone. But now I have a team of researchers, and we will be working out our plans this summer, and conducting some research this coming fall.”

The educational trip was made possible because of the WNC Psychology Club’s fundraising efforts which were matched by a generous WNC Foundation donor.

Dr. Bevans first attended the conference as a graduate student at the University of Nevada, Reno, but her obligation as a presenter kept her from enjoying the full experience of the conference.

“As a professor, I knew that taking some of our students to a conference could be life-changing,” she said. “Every time I attend the Western Psychological Association conference, I am left with a head full of the newest research in psychology. It is an amazing experience and one that I knew would be life changing for some of our students who are just beginning their journey into psychology.”

For the half-dozen students who accompanied Dr. Bevans and instructor Jolene Coverston to San Francisco, it was an opportunity to see what the psychology field has to offer them in the future.

“To me, one of the most important things that I learned was how vast the world of psychology truly is,” psychology student Thomas Shumway said. “Getting to learn the specific details of how research works in many of those varying parts of psychology was very informative for me and was just incredibly interesting.”

Added student Will Webster, “During this trip, I got to learn about positive psychology, consenting non-monogamous relationships, the retold story about the Stanford prison experiment, and many more. All the speakers went into pretty great detail of all their studies and experiments. While Mrs. Bevans was extremely helpful in explaining any parts that confused me.”

Shumway and Webster shared these experiences with other conference attendees from WNC, including students Yamaa Daoudi, Michael Marketti, Lilly Bacon and Angel Polvorosa.

“That experience of bonding with people who are equally and even more passionate about psychology was so refreshing to me,” Shumway said. “Listening and talking to people who are passionate about similar topics to me helped me understand topics I couldn't quite wrap my head around before; it also challenged me quite a bit.”

Webster said that their professor’s presence provided them with a better understanding of the conference, including the studies and experiments.

“It was amazing; I loved the experience the entire time,” Webster said. ‘Having Dr. Bevans there, being able to explain the confusing parts, and to be able to learn more from people who share the same passion will be an experience I will never forget. You could really tell that Dr. Bevans was taking the time to explain studies, experiments and other psychology related material along the way.”

Their interest and views about research changed 180 degrees during the conference.

“All of us became interested in research because we were given the chance to meet the people behind said research,” Shumway said. “Meeting them helped us put research into a new perspective I think, and to me at least, that new perspective made me much more intrigued by the research topics we had discussed.”

To learn more about WNC’s psychology program, email Dr. Bevans at [email protected] .

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