does social media ruin relationships essay

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The Impact of Social Media on Personal Relationships

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Published: Feb 7, 2024

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Table of contents

The deductive argument, examining premise 1: reduced face-to-face interaction, examining premise 2: diminished quality of personal relationships, evaluating the conclusion.

• Premise 1: Excessive use of social media leads to reduced face-to-face interaction and communication with loved ones.
• Premise 2: Reduced face-to-face interaction diminishes the quality of personal relationships.
• Conclusion: Therefore, excessive use of social media leads to a decline in the quality of personal relationships.

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12 ways social media affects relationships, from research & experts.

Romanticizing other people's relationships is not a new concept (thanks, rom-coms). Unlike a movie script, though, social media shows real couples living real lives.

But can looking at these seemingly perfect couples online interfere with our own romantic relationships? Here, how social media can affect your relationships and more.

How social media can affect relationships

Social media, if used sparingly, is not necessarily bad for relationships.

Research has shown social media use can both positively and negatively affect relationships , depending on how it's used.

For example, social media can contribute to unhealthy comparison and unrealistic expectations for what relationships are supposed to be like, and couples may spend more time curating an "image" of who they are rather than focusing on the relationship itself. 

Social media use has also been linked to poor body image and depression, which can negatively affect relationships.

Negative effects on relationships

Social media can create unrealistic expectations.

Although there are some useful resources shared via social media, "what you will mostly see are curated and filtered posts that only highlight unrealistic images of what a relationship is," says sex and behavioral therapist Chamin Ajjan, M.S., LCSW, A-CBT .

Attempting to measure up can distract you and your partner from the relationship.

Inevitably, real life won't look like the endless highlight reels we see on social media, which can lead to disappointment in either yourself, your partner, or both.

"You may begin to feel jealous of how much someone posts about their partner and feel resentment toward your partner for not doing the same," Ajjan says. "The lifestyles you are scrolling through may change how satisfied you are in your relationship because they seem to be better than what you have."

It can lead to jealousy

Some research has linked social media use with increased jealousy 1 and relationship dissatisfaction in college students.

If you are prone to jealousy because of an insecure attachment style , research says you may be more likely to get stuck in a cycle of endless scrolling to keep an eye on your partner's activities .

People may get upset seeing their partner liking or commenting on other people's posts, stoking concerns that their partner is interested in other people (or worse, is already cheating).

The use of Facebook, in particular, has been shown to increase feelings of suspicion and jealousy in romantic relationships among college students.

"This effect may be the result of a feedback loop, whereby using Facebook exposes people to often ambiguous information about their partner that they may not otherwise have access to," one study writes.

For example, cookies and Facebook algorithms can cause a partner's "hidden" interests to pop up on their feed.

The desire to find more information about them can perpetuate further social media use and feelings of mistrust.

(Notably, many of these studies have been conducted on college students, so it’s possible that there would be differences among older couples.)

Excessive social media use is linked to couples fighting more

A 2013 study found that, among couples who had been together for less than three years, spending more time on Facebook was linked with more "Facebook-related conflict" 2 and more negative relationship outcomes.

One study found that those who are dating people who overshare on social media 3 tend to have lower relationship satisfaction (though positive posts about the relationship itself every now and then seemed to mediate that effect).

Social media might make daily life seem less interesting

The drool-worthy image of a couple on vacation can trigger feelings of envy, which can keep you from appreciating where you are in the present moment. 

"Social media tends to ignore the gritty and mundane parts of a couple's lives," says Ken Page, LCSW , psychotherapist and host of The Deeper Dating Podcast .

Struggles, chores, compromise, and intimacy in the midst of challenges—these small mini triumphs are valuable, he says.

Just remember: A vacation can make you feel happy, but it's the everyday moments that lead to ultimate satisfaction .

When relationships end, it is so often those tiny, mundane moments that evoke the deepest nostalgia, Page adds. 

It can distract you from spending quality time with your partner

Though internet addiction 4 and Facebook addiction 5 are not considered mental health disorders by the  Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V), researchers recognize both as dependence issues, which can interfere with quality of life.

The more we become hooked on the dopamine rush of social media, Page says, the less engaged or excited we will feel for the quieter, simpler moments of life.

"But those are often the moments when our loved one reveals something personal and intimate," he explains.

Next time you and your partner are together and both focused on your phones, bring awareness to that.

"Practice valuing real-time connection over internet connection," he says. This can help increase emotional intimacy. 

It can affect our mental health

Even though social media is meant to promote connection, multiple studies have linked social media use with loneliness 6 , mood disorders, and poor self-esteem 7 .

People with preexisting mental health issues may also be more susceptible to social comparisons, due to a negative cognitive bias 8 , one study found.

On the flip side, lowering social media use has been shown to reduce loneliness and depression symptoms .

Though these issues are more individualistic than relational, they can bleed into romantic relationships.

When a partner is suffering from mental health issues , they may be closed off to intimacy or become codependent .

It can lead to body image issues

The filtered and edited images you see all over social media can cause insecurities about your own body to surface, Ajjan says.

Several studies have linked social media use and body image issues 9 .

A person's body image issues can significantly affect their relationships.

One Journal of the International Society for Sexual Medicine study shows that heterosexual women with body image issues 10 have a harder time becoming sexually aroused. 

Another study found the way wives perceive their own sexual attractiveness 11 , based on negative body image, directly affects the marital quality of both the wife and the husband.  

In other words, these insecurities triggered by social media can interfere with emotional and physical intimacy and the overall quality of a relationship. 

It can make us more narcissistic

Excessive social media use is linked to narcissistic traits 12 in some cases.

Research confirms that addictive social media use reflects a need to feed the ego and an attempt to improve self-esteem, both of which are narcissistic traits.

And different types of social media play into different aspects of narcissism.

For example, people who frequently tweet or post selfies may be displaying grandiosity, one of the common traits of narcissism .

Since you can be narcissistic without having a personality disorder , it's possible to develop these traits over time—and at least one small study has found excess social media use may be a trigger .  

And of course, being in a relationship with a narcissist is not healthy and can lead to trauma later on.

Positive effects on relationships

Social media helps single people meet each other.

In the digital age we live in, it's not uncommon for people to meet online or through dating apps—in fact, it may be more common.

A 2017 survey found 39% of heterosexual couples reported meeting their partner online, compared to just 22% in 2009.

A later study analyzing the results found that " Internet meeting is displacing the roles that family and friends once played in bringing couples together."

According to one survey , online dating can be especially helpful for the LGBTQ+ community .

Of the adults who took the survey, 28% say they met their current partner online, compared with 11% of partnered straight adults.

It can keep you connected to your partner

Whether it's sending a funny meme over Instagram or taking a quick Snapchat, social media is an easy way for couples to interact throughout the day in a fun, low-pressure manner.

This is particularly helpful for couples who don't live together and people in long-distance relationships . According to a survey published in the Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking journal, young adults in long-distance romantic relationships 13 are better able to maintain them if they're using social networking sites.

People who have their partner in their profile photo or have their relationship status public on Facebook also tend to be happier with their relationship 14 , for what that's worth.

You can learn about relationships from experts

"There are plenty of accounts that offer up good information to help develop and maintain a healthy connection," Ajjan says. "There is a lot of good information on social media from relationship bloggers, psychotherapists, and many others that highlight how to improve your relationship."

As long as it's coming from a place of growth and not comparison, this type of social media can motivate you to work on parts of the relationship that have been neglected, she explains.  

It's like a time capsule of memories

Social media platforms have practically replaced printed photograph albums as a place to store and share our memories.

In this sense, Page says social media can be used to honor the activities you do and the things you create together. 

Unlike a physical photo album, social media has the added component of followers.

"In this way, social media can be an institutionalized way to express love publicly and invite community support," he says, "both of which enhance a couple's ability to flourish." 

Tips to manage social media use

• Turn off your notifications. One study 15 found that smartphone notifications can cause a decline in task performance and negatively influence cognitive function and concentration. Turn off your notifications to avoid any distractions and focus more on the present.
• Set aside a time to scroll. Whether that be every hour or every few hours, designate 15-20 minutes to getting on social media, answering texts, or taking calls to avoid the constant urge to get on your phone and scroll and focus on quality time with your partner.
• Try a social media detox. Research shows that intentionally refraining from getting on social media can prevent harmful effects and reduce the risk of compulsive social media behavior in individuals. Designate a period of days, weeks, or even months to avoid any social media use.
• Be transparent and communicate. If you are struggling with your body-image or find yourself feeling jealous or insecure, talk with your partner and explain how you are feeling. It may be time to avoid getting on social media altogether and focus on quality time with your significant other.

The takeaway

Scrolling through social media all day is, unfortunately, not a hard habit to pick up.

While these platforms can offer helpful resources, they can also lead to jealousy, mental health issues, and unrealistic expectations in relationships.

On top of that, the act of being on your phone constantly can distract from intimacy with a partner. 

"Social media is not all bad," Ajjan says, "but if you find yourself comparing your relationship to what you are seeing online, it may be helpful to unfollow accounts that make you feel bad and focus more on accounts that make you feel empowered in your relationship."

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• https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23745615/
• https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0212186
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2719452/
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4183915/
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7268264/
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6221086/#acps12953-bib-0010
• https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28940179/
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6861923/
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5005305/
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2864925/
• https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27072491/
• https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25751046/
• https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30212249/
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4912993/

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Social Media and Interpersonal Relationships

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Social media has become popular with the Internet’s increased influence on communication. Naturally, this change has both negative and positive impacts on society and the way we interact with each other. So, what effect does social media have on interpersonal relationships? This essay will try to answer this question.

Today, the number of social networks is growing drastically. The developers of social networks like Facebook, MySpace, and Twitter, among others, have been competing to offer excellent features.

This can be categorised in terms of privacy, interaction, socialization as well as entertainment. Through the use of wide range of communication platform, the sites can be accessed from laptops, mobile phones, iPhones, and iPads. This has made it easy for people to interact freely anytime given that they have internet connections.

The social media has made it easy for people to communicate without need for face to face interactions. However, the concern has been whether social media is eradicating the essence of interpersonal relationship. Interpersonal relationships involve the association between people for a long period, where the association is based emotional feelings, social commitments as well as regular interactions.

The relationships can occur in different situations, such as friends, clubs, acquaintances, family, workplaces, and churches among others. The difference between the two is that interpersonal relations are determined and regulated by society, law and customs that are shared. Social media has both the negative and positive impacts to individuals’ relationships that affect daily activities.

The social media has both negative and positive impacts on relationships. However, the social media is expected to have more positive than negative impacts because of lowered constraints of traditional communication (Anderson, 1). This has made it possible for people to connect more rapidly with more zeal and zest. According to Jain (1) the social media enables people connect easily with many other people from different parts of life far more than the people we meet in the street.

This is true because people share what they have in common and they make a relation out of it. However, this is degrading the traditional ways in which relationships were initiated and accomplished. But the social media has that ability of bringing people from different social and cultural backgrounds more easily than the traditional mode of communication. Therefore, social media can help one meet many friends than they could ever meet in their life thus enriching their relationships.

Introverts have the chance of strengthening their relations through the social media. Relations in the workplace can be strengthened through the social media and it has been made easy for employees to exchange ideas (Conlin and MacMillan 1). Through the social media brands can be enriched through the wider range of friends and followers. However, it also ruins the relationships in the workplace and reduces productivity. This is because a lot of time is spent and hate and hatred can be spread over through social networks.

In a negative way, social media is ruining some of the relationships based on the comments made by other people. For instance, intimate relationships can ruined because of some post like in face book or twitter. Meraji (1) note that some posts made on face book or tweets made can lead to resentment that generates hate and hatred.

This can ruin closer relationship because of some comments made on your wall. Some forgotten relationships can no longer be forgotten and escaped if one is using the social media. This is because it has become a platform where everybody meets and friends of friends are on it. Social media can be detrimental to relationships because of the negativity it may arouse. For example, negative or moody response can affect the real time relationships.

Social media and the internet are robbing off people the time that can be used in a more constructive and intimate face to face communication (Anderson 2). This is because most of the friends in the social media use fake names, give wrong information about themselves, and even create the aspect of intolerance and impatient. This harms the real relations more and it is happening in the real world.

The communication that creates the feeling of remorse when wrong is done, is not present in the social media relationships. Social media interactions can now strengthen far away relationships. This is because the people can easily communicate and according to Anderson (2) geographical distance is no longer a hindrance to relationship. This has made some of the relations blossom

It can be concluded that social media has both positive and negative effects on relationships. The mode in which they are necessitated consumes a lot of people time that could have been applied in a more face to face communication. This has endangered the traditional mode of communication and can be detrimental to relationships.

However, it has made it possible to enhance the communication and keep long distanced relationships in check. It has also made it easy for people to interact more easily and one can make friends online rapidly than it can occur in real life. Contrary, the social media can break relationships and create aspects like intolerance and impatient. It is believed that social media would be having more positive impacts on relationships as time goes on.

Works Cited

Anderson, Jenna. Q. “The Future of Social Relations”. Pew Research Center’s Internet & American Life Project . 2010. Web.

Conlin, Michelle and Douglas, MacMillan. Web 2.0: Managing Corporate Reputations . 2009. Web.

Jain, Rachana . 4 Ways Social Media is Changing Your Relationships . 2010. Web.

Meraji, Shereen. In The Age Of Social Media, Can You Escape Your Ex? . 2010. Web.

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IvyPanda. (2018, October 12). Social Media and Interpersonal Relationships. https://ivypanda.com/essays/social-media-and-interpersonal-relationships/

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IvyPanda . (2018) 'Social Media and Interpersonal Relationships'. 12 October.

IvyPanda . 2018. "Social Media and Interpersonal Relationships." October 12, 2018. https://ivypanda.com/essays/social-media-and-interpersonal-relationships/.

1. IvyPanda . "Social Media and Interpersonal Relationships." October 12, 2018. https://ivypanda.com/essays/social-media-and-interpersonal-relationships/.

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IvyPanda . "Social Media and Interpersonal Relationships." October 12, 2018. https://ivypanda.com/essays/social-media-and-interpersonal-relationships/.

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• Dating and Relationships in the Digital Age

From distractions to jealousy, how Americans navigate cellphones and social media in their romantic relationships

Table of contents.

• Acknowledgments
• Methodology

How we did this

Pew Research Center has long studied the changing nature of romantic relationships as well as the role of digital technology in people’s lives. This particular report focuses on the patterns, experiences and attitudes related to digital technology use in romantic relationships. These findings are based on a survey conducted Oct. 16 to 28, 2019, among 4,860 U.S. adults. This includes those who took part as members of Pew Research Center’s American Trends Panel (ATP), an online survey panel that is recruited through national, random sampling of residential addresses, as well as respondents from the Ipsos KnowledgePanel who indicated that they identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual (LGB). The margin of sampling error for the full sample is plus or minus 2.1 percentage points.

Recruiting ATP panelists by phone or mail ensures that nearly all U.S. adults have a chance of selection. This gives us confidence that any sample can represent the whole U.S. adult population (see our Methods 101 explainer on random sampling). To further ensure that each ATP survey reflects a balanced cross-section of the nation, the data is weighted to match the U.S. adult population by gender, race, ethnicity, partisan affiliation, education and other categories.

For more, see the report’s Methodology . You can also find the questions asked, and the answers the public provided in the topline .

Amid growing debates about the impact of smartphones and social media on romantic relationships, a Pew Research Center survey conducted in October 2019 finds that many Americans encounter some tech-related struggles with their significant others.

For instance, among partnered adults in the U.S. – that is, those who are married, cohabiting or in a committed relationship, roughly half (51%) say their partner is often or sometimes distracted by their cellphone while they are trying to have a conversation with them, and four-in-ten say they are at least sometimes bothered by the amount of time their partner spends on their mobile device.

Partnered adults under the age of 50 are particularly likely to express the feeling that their partner is distracted by their phone, with those ages 30 to 49 most likely to report this. Fully 62% of 30- to 49-year-olds and 52% of 18-to 29-year-olds who are in a romantic relationship say their partner is at least sometimes distracted by their phone when they’re trying to talk them. Still, this issue is not confined to younger age groups: 41% of partnered Americans ages 50 and older say they have encountered this in their relationship at least sometimes.

With phones being such a distraction, people might be tempted to look through their partner’s phone. However, there is widespread agreement among the public that digital snooping in couples is unacceptable. Seven-in-ten Americans – regardless of whether they are in a relationship – say it is rarely or never acceptable for someone to look through their partner’s cellphone without that person’s knowledge. Still, 34% of partnered adults say they have looked through their partner’s cellphone without that person’s knowledge, with women being more likely than men to say they have done this (42% vs. 25%).

For many adults, social media plays a role in the way they navigate and share information about their romantic relationships. Roughly eight-in-ten social media users (81%) report that they at least sometimes see others posting about their relationships, including 46% who say this happens often, but few say that seeing these posts affects how they feel about their own love life.

Moreover, social media has become a place where some users discuss relationships and investigate old ones. Roughly half of social media users (53%) say they have used these platforms to check up on someone they used to date or be in a relationship with, while 28% say they have used social media to share or discuss things about their relationship or dating life. For adult users under the age of 30, those shares who have used social media to checked-up on a former partner (70%) or posted about their own love life (48%) are even higher.

But social media can also be a source of annoyance and conflict for some couples. Among those whose partner uses social media, 23% say they have felt jealous or unsure of their relationship because of the way their current partner interacts with others on these sites, and this share rises to 34% among those ages 18 to 29.

Still, some users view these platforms as an important venue for showing love and affection. This is especially true for younger users who are partnered: 48% of 18- to 29-year-old social media users say social media is very or somewhat important for them in showing how much they care about their partner.

These are some of the main findings from a nationally representative survey of 4,860 U.S. adults conducted online Oct. 16 to 28, 2019, using Pew Research Center’s American Trend Panel.

Terminology

Several terms are used in this report to describe people’s current relationship status. This reference guide explains each term. Single is used to describe people who are not currently in a committed relationship but may be casually dating (31% of the sample). Single and looking refers to people who are not in a committed relationship (but may be casually dating) and are looking for dates or a relationship (15% of the sample). Casually dating refers to single people who are casually dating someone but are not in a committed relationship (4% of the sample). Partnered refers to adults who are married, cohabiting or in a committed relationship (69% of the sample). Cohabiting is used to describe people who currently live with their partner but are not married (11% of the sample). Committed relationship is used to describe people who are in a relationship but are not married or cohabiting (8% of the sample). Unmarried is used to refer to any adults who are not currently married – single, cohabiting or in a committed relationship (50% of the sample). This term is sometimes used in conjunction with the term “partnered” to refer to those who are cohabiting or in a committed relationship (for example, unmarried partnered adults constitute 19% of the sample).

40% of partnered adults say they are bothered by the amount of time their partner spends on their cellphone

At the time of the survey, four-in-ten Americans who are married, living with a partner or who are in a committed relationship say they are often or sometimes bothered by the amount of time their partner spends on their cellphone, including 12% who say they feel this way often. 1

In addition, 24% of partnered Americans report that they are at least sometimes bothered by the amount of time their partner spends on social media, while a somewhat smaller share (15%) say they feel this way about their partner playing video games.

There are certain groups who are more likely to express annoyance over their partner’s digital activities than others. Among partnered adults, women are more likely than men to say they are often bothered by the amount of time their partner spends on their cellphone (16% vs. 8%) or playing video games (7% vs. 3%). 2

Beyond gender differences, people’s attitudes also vary by age. Some 18% of partnered adults ages 18 to 49 say they are often bothered by the amount of time their partner spends on their phone, compared with 6% of those ages 50 and older. Younger adults in romantic relationships also are more likely than their older counterparts to say they are often bothered by the amount of time their partner spends on social media (11% vs. 4%) and playing video games (7% vs. 3%).

Roughly half of partnered people say their significant other is distracted by their phone at least sometimes when they try to talk to them

While relatively few Americans are familiar with the term “phubbing” – which is the practice of snubbing others in favor of their cellphones – notable shares say they have encountered that behavior in their romantic relationships.

When asked to reflect on their partner’s cellphone use, 51% of Americans in a romantic relationship say their partner is at least sometimes distracted by their cellphone when they are trying to have a conversation with them, including 16% who say their significant other is often distracted by their mobile device.

This pattern differs by age: Roughly six-in-ten partnered adults ages 30 to 49 say their significant other is at least sometimes distracted by their cellphone when they are trying to hold a conversation with them, compared with 52% of those ages 18 to 29 and even smaller shares for those ages 50 and older (41%). Among those in relationships, younger adults also are more likely than older adults to assert that their partner is often distracted by their phone when they are trying to have a discussion (20% vs. 10%).

Women who are in a relationship are more likely than men to say their partner is often distracted by their phone while they are trying to hold a conversation, but this gender difference is most pronounced among younger adults. Three-in-ten partnered women ages 18 to 29 say their significant other is often distracted by their phone while they are trying to hold a conversation, compared with 15% of men in this age group who say this.

About one-in-three partnered adults say they have looked through their current spouse or partner’s phone without their knowledge, but there’s strong public consensus this is unacceptable

Americans – regardless of whether they are in a relationship – were asked in the survey about their views about some issues related to technology and relationships. For example, they weighed in on the acceptability of looking through a significant other’s phone without that person’s knowledge. Seven-in-ten U.S. adults say it is rarely (28%) or never (42%) acceptable to look through a significant other’s cellphone without their knowledge. Smaller shares – about three-in-ten (29%) – view this behavior as at least sometimes acceptable.

Majorities across major demographic groups view these actions as unacceptable, but there are some Americans who are more accepting of this behavior than others.

Women are more likely than men to think it is at least sometimes acceptable for someone to look through their partner’s cellphone without their knowledge (35% vs. 24%). And about one-third of adults under the age of 65 (33%) view this as acceptable, compared with 16% of those 65 and older.

Americans’ views on the acceptability of looking through a partner’s phone varies by current relationship status. Americans who are married or cohabiting are more likely than those who are single or in a committed relationship to say that looking through a significant other’s phone without that person’s knowledge is sometimes or always acceptable.

Despite the overall public uneasiness with this type of digital snooping, there are some Americans who report that they have looked through their significant other’s phone without that person’s knowledge. Roughly one-third of partnered adults (34%) say they have done this, but there are substantial differences by gender, age and relationship status when it comes to looking through a significant other’s phone.

Among adults who are partnered, women are far more likely than men to report that they have looked through their current partner’s phone without that person’s knowledge (42% vs. 25%). And while 52% of partnered adults ages 18 to 29 say they have done this, those shares are 41% among those ages 30 to 49, 29% among those ages 50 to 64 and 13% among those 65 and older.

These actions also vary by the type of relationship. Roughly four-in-ten Americans (41%) who are living with a partner report that they have looked through their current partner’s phone without that person’s knowledge, compared with 27% of those who are in committed relationship and 34% of those who are married. However, this pattern is largely due age differences in relationship status, as twice as many adults under 50 live with a partner than do those 50 and older. While 48% cohabiters under 50 report having gone through their partner’s phone without that person’s knowledge, only 18% of cohabiters ages 50 and older say the same.

There also are some differences by race and ethnicity. About half of Hispanic adults who are in a relationship say they have looked through their partner’s phone, compared with a third among their black or white counterparts.

Those in partnered relationships also are more likely to look through their partner’s cellphone without that person’s knowledge if they think it is acceptable to do so (61% say they have done this). Smaller shares of partnered adults who deem this unacceptable say they have personally gone through their current partner’s phone – though still about one-in-five say they have done this.

It is fairly common for partners to share the password or passcode to their cellphone

Overall, sharing passwords to digital devices or accounts is a fairly common practice in romantic relationships. In the October 2019 survey, a majority of Americans who are married, cohabiting or in a committed relationship say they have given their spouse or partner the password for their cellphone (75%), their email account (62%) or any of their social media accounts (42%). 3

Still, experiences do vary depending on the type of relationship partnered people have. Married or cohabiting adults are much more likely to share their cellphone or social media passwords with their partner than those who are in a committed relationship but are not living with their partner. Roughly three-quarters or more of married adults (79%) or those who live with a partner (74%) say they have given their partner the password to their cellphone, compared with 58% of those who are in a committed relationship. A similar pattern is present among partnered social media users when they are asked about whether they have shared their login information for any of their social media accounts. When it comes to email password sharing, married adults are the most likely group to say they have given their email password to their partner: 70% say this, compared with 50% of cohabiting internet users and just 22% of those in a committed relationship.

There also are some differences by age. Among partnered adults, those ages 18 to 49 are more likely than those ages 50 and older to say they have given their cellphone password to their spouse or partner (81% vs. 69%). On the other hand, older adults are more likely than younger adults to say they have shared their email password with their significant other (70% vs. 59%).

Most social media users see other people post about their relationship or dating life, but relatively few say these posts affect how they feel about their own relationship

This survey conducted last fall also examined how social media might be affecting the way people think about their own love lives. More specifically, does seeing relationship posts on social media affect the way people think about their own relationships?

Overall, eight-in-ten social media users see others post about their relationship on social media often or sometimes. This differs by both age and gender. Women are slightly more likely than men to see these posts (84% vs. 77%). In addition, 90% of social media users ages 18 to 49 say they see these types of post at least sometimes, compared with 68% of those ages 50 and older.

A majority of social media users who are in a relationship (81%) say they see posts about other people’s relationships when using social media. Among these partnered social media users, 78% of those who are married say they at least sometimes see posts about other people’s relationships, compared with 89% of those who are living with partner and 86% of those in a committed relationship.

Overall, seeing these posts appears to have little effect on how people view their own romantic relationships. A large majority of partnered adults (81%) who at least sometimes see posts about other people’s relationships say that these posts have not made much of difference in how they feel about their own relationship. On the other hand, relatively few say these posts make them feel better (9%) or worse (9%) about their relationship.

When it comes to social media users who are single and looking, 87% see other people making posts about their relationships on social media platforms at least sometimes. Social media users who are single and not looking for a relationship or dates are less likely to report seeing these types of posts at least sometimes (78%).

A third of the social media users who are single and looking and who say they see others’ posts about their love life say that seeing these posts makes them feel worse. This compares with 62% who report that such posts by others do not make much of a difference in how they feel about their own dating life. Just 4% say it makes them feel better.

These relationship-focused posts tend to have a bigger impact on women than men. Among social media users who are single and looking, women who see relationships posts at least sometimes are more likely to report that seeing these posts on social media makes them feel worse about their dating lives than are their male counterparts (40% vs. 28%).

About three-in-ten social media users say they have discussed their love life on social media

While it is fairly common for social media users to come across other people posting things about their love lives, only a minority of Americans who use these platforms (28%) say they have ever shared or discussed things about their relationship or dating life. About four-in-ten adults who are living with their partner (39%) and nearly half of those in a committed relationship (48%) but not living together say they have ever posted about their relationship on social media. Conversely, married and single adults are the least likely to post about their love lives (24% and 26%, respectively).

About four-in-ten social media users who are either Hispanic or lesbian, gay or bisexual (LGB) say they have ever posted about their dating life or relationship on social media, while around one-quarter of white, black and straight social media users say the same.

Younger social media users also are more likely to have posted about their love lives on social media previously. While about half of social media users ages 18 to 29 have ever posted on social media about their dating life or relationship, a third of 30- to 49-year-olds say the same. By comparison, far fewer social media users ages 50 and older (11%) say they ever post about their relationship or dating life.

Roughly half of social media users have used these sites to check up on an ex-romantic partner

Using social media to check up on former romantic partners is a fairly common practice among social media users. About half of social media users (53%) say they have used these sites to check up on someone with whom they were in a relationship or whom they used to date.

Social media users ages 18 to 49 are far more likely than those ages 50 and older to report using social media to check up on an ex-romantic partner. Seven-in-ten 18- to 29-year-olds report that they have used these platforms to check up on someone they used to date or be in a relationship with. That share is lower – though still a majority – among users ages 30 to 49 and falls sharply among those ages and 50 and older.

There also are some notable differences, depending on a person’s relationship status. About two-thirds each of social media users who are cohabiting or in a committed relationship say they have used social media to check up on someone they used to date. Meanwhile, 56% of single people, and even fewer married people (45%), say the same. In addition, social media users who have a high school degree or less education are less likely to report that they have used to social media to check up on an ex-romantic partner than those with a bachelor’s or advanced degree or who have some college experience.

Younger Americans in relationships are especially likely to view social media as having an important role in connecting and keeping up with their partner

Overall, about three-in-ten partnered adults who use social media say that these sites are at least somewhat important in showing how much they care about their partner (33%) or keeping up with what is going on in their partner’s life (28%). But the level of importance that these users place on social media varies substantially by age. Among partnered social media users, 48% of 18- to 29-year-olds say these platforms are very or somewhat important in how they show how much they care about their partner, compared with 28% of those ages 30 and older who say this.

There also are age differences when it comes to the importance social media users place on these platforms for keeping up with their significant other’s life. About four-in-ten partnered users ages 18 to 29 say social media is somewhat or very important when it comes to keeping up with what’s going on in their partner’s life, compared with 29% of those ages 30 to 49 and only 17% of those ages 50 and older.

Married social media users are more likely than those who are cohabiting or in a committed relationship to say they do not see social media as important for keeping up with what’s going on in their partner’s life or for showing how much they care about their partner.

The level of importance that partnered adults place on social media also varies by race and ethnicity as well as by sexual orientation. Nonwhite social media users are more likely than white users to say these platforms are a very or somewhat important for keeping up with their partner’s life and showing how much they care. 4 Among partnered social media users, LGB adults are more likely than those who are straight to say social media is at least somewhat important for keeping up with their partner’s life or showing how much they care.

Even when controlling for age, racial and ethnic differences persist when it comes to the likelihood of saying social media is a personally important way to keep up with one’s partner or show how much they care. Similarly, marital status and sexual orientation are significant predictors of how important it is for people to use social media to keep up with one’s partner, even after controlling for age differences.

Social media can be a source of jealousy and uncertainty in relationships – especially for younger adults

Even as younger Americans value social media as a place to share how much they care about their partner or to keep up with what’s going on in their partner’s life, they also acknowledge some of the downsides that these sites can have on relationships.

Overall, 23% of partnered adults whose significant other uses social media say they have felt jealous or unsure about their relationship because of the way their current spouse or partner interacts with other people on social media. But this share is even higher among those in younger age groups.

Among partnered adults whose significant other uses social media, 34% of 18- to 29-year-olds and 26% of those ages 30 to 49 say they have felt jealous or unsure in their current relationship because of how their partner interacted with others on social media, compared with 19% of those ages 50 to 64 who say this and 4% of those ages 65 and up. Nearly four-in-ten unmarried adults with partners who are social media users (37%) say they have felt this way about their current partner, while only 17% of married people say the same.

Women also are more likely to express displeasure with how their significant other interacts with others on social media. Women who say their partner uses social media are more likely than men to say they have felt jealous or unsure of their relationships because of how their partner interacts with others on social media (29% vs. 17%).

Among those whose partner uses social media, about three-in-ten nonwhite adults who are in a relationship report having felt jealous or uncertain in their current relationship based on their partner’s social media interactions, compared with 19% of white adults who say the same. About one-third of LGB partnered adults whose significant other uses social media report that they have felt jealous or unsure in their current relationship because of how their partner interacted with others on social media, while 22% of straight people say this. College graduates are less likely to report having felt this way than those with some college experience or a high school degree or less.

• These items were only asked among those whose partner uses these digital technologies, but are presented here among all partnered adults. This group does include portions of those who say their partner does not own a cellphone (4%), use social media (27%) or play videos games (47%). Please read the Methodology section for full details on how these questions were asked. ↩
• Prior research from 2019 shows that the majority of both men (84%) and women (79%) in the U.S. report owning a smartphone . In addition, about three-in-ten U.S. adults say they are online almost constantly , and this does not differ by gender. Prior work in 2018 found that men under 50 are more likely than women under 50 to report playing video games at least sometimes. ↩
• These items were only asked among those who use these digital technologies, but are presented here among all partnered adults. This group does include portions of those who say they do not use the internet or use social media. Please read the Methodology for full details on how these questions were asked. ↩
• Nonwhite includes those who identify as black, Asian, Hispanic, some other race or multiple races; these groups could not be analyzed separately due to sample size limitations. ↩

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How Smartphones Are Affecting Our Relationships

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Whether at the supermarket, in the doctor’s office, or in bed at night, it can be tempting to pick up the device and start scrolling through social media or text messages at any moment. But anyone who has done so in the presence of a close friend, family member, or romantic partner may have left that person feeling ignored, annoyed, or even pushed away. That’s according to a growing body of research on “technoference,” or the potential interference smartphones and other technologies can have in our face-to-face social interactions.

In a  review paper in Perspectives on Psychological Science , University of Arizona psychology professor David Sbarra and his collaborators at Wayne State University in Detroit examine existing research on technoference. They propose an explanation for why humans are so drawn to their smartphones, even when the devices take us out of the moment in our close relationships. It’s because of our evolutionary history, they say.

Humans are hard-wired to connect with others, Sbarra and his colleagues argue. In the course of evolutionary history, we have relied on close relationships with small networks of family and friends for survival as individuals and as a species. These relationships were based on trust and cooperation, which is built when people disclose personal information about themselves and are responsive to others.

Smartphones, and the constant access they provide to text messaging and social media, make it easier than ever for people to disclose personal information and respond to others in their social networks. And these networks are much larger and more far-flung than those of our ancestors.

“The draw or pull of a smartphone is connected to very old modules in the brain that were critical to our survival, and central to the ways we connect with others are self-disclosure and responsiveness,” Sbarra said. “Evolution shaped self-disclosure and responsiveness in the context of small kin networks, and we now see these behaviors being cued more or less constantly by social networking sites and through our phones. We now have the outer-most edges of our social network cue us for responsiveness. Look no further than the next person you see scrolling through Facebook and mindlessly hitting the ‘like’ button while his kid is trying to tell him a story.”

In their paper, Sbarra and his coauthors go beyond the idea that technology is simply attention-grabbing to suggest that there may be an evolutionary mismatch between smartphones and the social behaviors that help form and maintain close social relationships.

“Smartphones and their affordances create new contexts for disclosing information about who we are and for being responsive to others, and these virtual connections may have downstream unwanted effects on our current relationships,” Sbarra said. “When you are distracted into or by the device, then your attention is divided, and being responsive to our partners – an essential ingredient for building intimacy – requires attention in the here and now.”

Divided attention, Sbarra and his colleagues say, may lead to relationship conflict. For example, the review paper cites a study of 143 married women, more than 70 percent of whom reported that mobile phones frequently interfere in their relationships.

Sbarra doesn’t believe smartphones are all bad. In fact, he and his coauthors acknowledge that the devices offer several benefits for health and well-being, and texting provides many couples a route for connecting in a meaningful way. But they say more research is needed to fully understand the impact that virtual connections may have on our real-world relationships and the ways in which the pull of our phones may diminish immediate interactions and lead to conflict.

“We stay away from the question of whether social networking sites and smartphone use are good or bad, per se,” Sbarra said. “Technology is everywhere, and it’s not going away, nor should it. In this paper, we are interested in answering two basic questions: Why do the devices seem to have such a powerful pull on us? And, what is the state of the science on the effects of being pulled away from our in-person interactions and into the virtual world?” 

From there, the authors outline a research agenda they hope can guide future studies. Those studies will be increasingly important as new technologies evolve and become more integrated in our daily lives, Sbarra said.

“Between 2000 and 2018, we’ve seen the largest technological advances, arguably, at any point in the last 100 years,” he said. “We are interested in understanding the role of social relationships in human well-being. We can understand this from the level of what individuals do in relationships, but we can also understand it at the level of societal changes and societal forces that may push on relationships.”

Smartphones have ruined children’s play time and adult’s special time under the sheets! Can’t even go to a bar to have a chill drink without GF having the damn phone on the bar and in her hand half the time. Maybe I should take a hint! Long live the flip phone MOT V600!

I do believe technology devices and media can get in the way of a relationship but technology device and social media isn’t the problem. The couple shall notice the problem and fix. Put off certain time for the phone and use communication, affection with their partner. If the love each other the media they scroll on should be deleted then the problem is solved most likely.

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Is Social Media Bad for Relationships Argumentative Essay

This argumentative essay will discuss whether social media has a negative impact on personal relationships. It will explore how social media can lead to miscommunications, jealousy, and a lack of privacy, potentially damaging relationships. The piece will also present counterarguments, including how social media can strengthen connections and offer new ways of communication. The essay will evaluate evidence from various studies and expert opinions to support the arguments. Moreover, at PapersOwl, there are additional free essay samples connected to Effects Of Social Media.

How it works

Social media has transformed how we communicate, connect, and exchange information in the modern era. While social media platforms have many advantages, there is a rising concern about their impact on relationships. This paper investigates the risks of social media platforms and how they can impair people’s social and sexual relationships. By examining the consequences of social media on relationships, including the effects on mental health, interpersonal skills, trust, and privacy, we can better understand the potential risks and make informed decisions about our social media usage.

• 1 The Effects of Media on Relationships
• 2 Social Media and Alienation

The Effects of Media on Relationships

Addiction to social media can cause anxiety and depression, negatively impacting people’s well-being and capacity to have meaningful conversations with their loved ones. Because social media is addictive, people may become less aware of the feelings, expectations, and experiences of those around them, leading to a decline in participation in formerly enjoyable activities. Continued reliance on social media for solace can exacerbate mental health difficulties and impede personal and interpersonal achievement.

Prolonged usage of social media can lead to bad interactions between people in different relationships, such as siblings, parents, children, or romantic partners. This decline in interpersonal competencies inhibits effective communication and impedes the formation of relationships. Bonding weakens over time, resulting in instability and discontent. Individuals in a relationship who are disengaged can have difficulty problem-solving and understanding each other’s expectations and social cues.

Addiction to social media is linked to feelings of jealousy and loneliness. Individuals that rely solely on social media platforms for communication and connection miss out on critical social skills development, appreciating personal differences, and maintaining relationships. This loss of self-esteem and fewer face-to-face interactions can lead to interpersonal issues, increasing the risk of failure and negatively altering the experiences of the individuals involved.

Social Media and Alienation

Contrary to popular assumption, social networking platforms can help people create and maintain connections. According to a study, people use social media as a phatic tool to develop and explore relationships with others, building a sense of belonging and lessening feelings of alienation. People can use social media to express themselves, connect with others who share their interests, and strengthen community ties.

Alienation can result from a lack of control and power over one’s own expression. However, social media platforms enable people to express themselves and shape societal values. Social media lessens feelings of alienation by giving people power and control over their lives by allowing anyone to have a voice and impact the world. Furthermore, the greater social regulation and moral advice made possible by social media help to reduce alienation by involving a broader spectrum of opinions.

While social media can be exploitative, it does not always result in isolation. Users actively create content, express themselves, communicate with others, and boost their overall platform engagement. This active participation can aid in developing a sense of empowerment and connection, as well as reducing feelings of alienation and creating a more inclusive online community.

Social media platforms have both beneficial and negative effects on relationships. While social media can provide chances for connection and self-expression, overuse can result in diminished social skills, trust concerns, and a loss of privacy, ultimately hurting individual bonds. Maintaining a balance between online and offline relationships and being aware of social media’s possible risks and problems are critical.

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Social Media Can Damage Mental Health

Here’s how we can change that..

Posted September 9, 2021 | Reviewed by Tyler Woods

• There is a connection between poor mental health and social media usage.
• We need to lessen the impact social media use is having on our health, particularly that of our teens.
• Many people know that social media use is correlated to increased anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem, yet few want to make any changes.

With alarming frequency, the research reports hit my inbox, my newspaper, and—yes—my Twitter feed.

“ Excess screen time impacting teen mental health ”

“ Teens around the world are lonelier than a decade ago. The reason may be smartphones. ”

“ This Is Our Chance to Pull Teenagers Out of the Smartphone Trap ”

And that’s just from the last few weeks.

As a parent and as a professional who works in the field of education , the connection between poor mental health and smartphone usage—and more specifically, social media apps—is downright scary. That more doctors, schools, governments, and community groups aren’t speaking out is disheartening.

A recent piece from Helen Lee Bouygues recommends we declare social media a public mental health crisis and wage a campaign against it, much like we did with tobacco. I often work with Bouygues’s Reboot Foundation and wondered: What would that look like? What would it be like to have a public campaign?

For starters, it would include PSAs, educational outreach, both short-term and long-term research, and age restrictions on who can use social media platforms, according to Bouygues.

While I’m not sure that would work in my house, or with the teens I know—they’re too practiced to be dissuaded by a warning label, and too tech savvy to be defeated by an age restriction—I do think Bouygues is generally right. We need to mitigate the impact social media is having on our children’s mental health.

What we must do is give technology users, and teenagers especially, the critical thinking skills necessary to interpret what they see online, so that they can contextualize it and ultimately assess whether the latest meme or trending topic is worth their time or consideration.

This past spring the Reboot Foundation surveyed more than 1,000 Americans on their social media usage and its impact on their mental health, and the results were alarming. More than half of the people who took part in the survey acknowledged that their social media use intensified their feelings of anxiety , depression , or loneliness . They also knew that it contributed to feelings of low self-esteem and made it harder for them to concentrate.

So what did users do about this? Basically, nothing. Only about a third said that they took steps to limit their social media use. That same survey revealed that 40 percent of the respondents said they would give up their cars, TV, and their pets before they would give up their social media accounts.

See what we're up against?

Critical thinking begins with reflective thinking. This requires us to step back and examine our own thinking process, and to notice when we are thinking irrationally or unproductively. This type of thinking is also called “ metacognition .”

Social media apps and platforms were designed to discourage reflective thinking. The algorithms that control our feeds have been perfected to supply their users high octane emotional content that’s easy to share and amplify, regardless if it’s good for society, or for your mental health.

Teaching young people to be reflective thinkers would give them tools to resist conclusions based on raw emotion or knee-jerk reactions. This would go a long way to helping slow the spread of harmful content online.

Another way improved critical thinking skills would help address the mental health crisis teens face online is by giving them the confidence to think independently and to resist group pressure. This cool, rational thought is often called objective thinking and allows users to free themselves of the “hivemind” and to recognize that just because something is trending on Twitter doesn’t mean it’s worthy of your attention .

In short, good critical thinkers reflect on and correct their thinking. They’re objective and rational, even when things get heated or the facts get muddy.

Heated arguments and muddy facts. Doesn’t that sound like social media these days?

The good news is that these critical thinking skills can be taught and there is overwhelming public support for doing so . The bad news is that most schools don’t teach these skills very well.

That needs to change. Our’s kids’ mental health depends on it.

Ulrich Boser is the founder of The Learning Agency and a senior fellow at the Center for American Progress. He is the author of Learn Better, which Amazon called “the best science book of the year.”

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Social Media Ruins The World And Is Ruining Relationships

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Richard Osman has enjoyed stratospheric success with his Thursday Murder Club series. It has sold more than 5 million copies worldwide and is currently being adapted into a TV series starring Helen Mirren, Sir Ben Kingsley and Pierce Brosnan. Osman — who signed a four-book deal with Penguin in 2023 — joins Life Matters presenter Hilary Harper to reveal the details of his next book, which will be the first instalment of a much-anticipated new crime series.

Scottish author Andrew O'Hagan is the author of seven critically acclaimed novels, including his Booker Prize-shortlisted debut Our Fathers (1999) and Mayflies (2020). O'Hagan tells ABC Melbourne's Raf Epstein how he rubbed shoulders with royals, oligarchs and drug dealers while researching his latest novel, Caledonian Road.

UK writer Samantha Shannon has found an enthusiastic audience on #BookTok for her fantasy novels, including 2013's The Bone Season (the first in what will be a seven-part series) and The Priory of the Orange Tree (2019) and its prequel, A Day of Fallen Night (2023). Shannon talks to The Book Show's Claire Nichols about her new work.

Three award-winning Australian authors — Charlotte Wood , Jock Serong and Tony Birch — discuss what makes Australian stories in a special panel led by Sarah L'Estrange at the Sorrento Writers Festival.

In 2017, US author Lisa Ko published her debut novel, The Leavers, which was a finalist for the National Book Award. In 2024, she returns with her sophomore offering, Memory Piece, which follows Chinese-American artist Giselle Chin from 1996 to a dystopian future in the 2040s. Ko joins The Art Show's Rosa Ellen to explore the relationship between art and protest.

Dervla McTiernan gave up her law career and moved from Ireland to Australia before publishing her first novel, The Ruin, in 2018. She has since earned a reputation as one of Australia's leading crime writers. McTiernan joins fellow West Australian Claire Nichols, host of The Book Show, to talk about how a real-life case — the murder of 21-year-old American Gabby Petito by her fiancé in 2021 — helped inspire her latest novel, What Happened to Nina?.

On Sunday, June 16, Irish author Paul Murray discusses climate anxiety and his Booker Prize-shortlisted novel The Bee Sting with Raf Epstein, while much-loved Australian novelist Tim Winton will share exclusive details of his new forthcoming book with Claire Nichols.

Rachel Cusk has emerged as one of British literature's most distinctive voices since she published her debut novel in 1993. Works such as the Outline trilogy, Second Place and her memoirs, A Life's Work and Aftermath, have earned Cusk a cult following and further cemented her literary reputation. She joins Conversations' Sarah Kanowski to discuss her new novel, Parade.

Kim Scott , a two-time winner of the Miles Franklin Literary Award, and Tony Birch , who won the Indigenous Writers' Prize at the 2020 NSW Premier's Literary Awards for The White Girl, are two of Australian literature's most prominent Indigenous voices. In 2024, Birch published On Kim Scott, an essay exploring the Noongar writer's literary legacy, and the pair join Awaye!'s Rudi Bremer to reflect on each other's work.

Bestselling crime writer Candice Fox has won a swag of awards for her 16 novels, which include collaborations with James Patterson and Bill Clinton. In 2022, Troppo, an adaptation of her 2017 novel Crimson Lake, premiered on ABC TV . Fox, whose latest novel, Devil's Kitchen, follows a group of corrupt New York firefighters, regales the audience at a special event at the Petersham Bowling Club in Sydney with her unusual ways of getting the research she needs.

At 83, Stephanie Alexander has left a lasting mark on Australian food culture. In her long career, she has run a successful Melbourne restaurant, published 18 cookbooks, including the influential The Cook's Companion, and launched the Stephanie Alexander Kitchen Garden Foundation. The cook, restaurateur and food writer joins Jonathan Green and Alice Zavlasky to talk all things food and writing in a special event in Melbourne.

For more details about the 2024 Big Weekend of Books line-up, visit the full schedule .

And join us for a two-day celebration of books and ideas on-air and online using the hashtag #BigWeekendOfBooks.

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