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Last updated July 17, 2024
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Blog > Common App , Essay Examples , Personal Statement > 21 College Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)
21 College Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)
Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University
Written by Alex McNeil, MA Admissions Consultant
Key Takeaway
Have you ever wondered what goes through an admissions officerâs mind as they read college essays? It's one of the questions the parents and students we work with ask us the most.
Weâve asked our team of former admissions officers to read through the essays, analyze them, offer editing ideas, and assign them grades.
Letâs jump right into an example to kick things off.
College Essay Example #1: Clair de Lune
In this first example essay, Clair de Lune, we'll watch Alex review the essay in real-time. Let's take a look.
The writer here uses what we call a "sacred practice" format in the Essay Academy , and they do it well. It's easy to see the meaning music holds in the writer's life. Importantly, this isn't an essay about Anna. It's an essay about the writer. More specifically, it's an essay about the writer's journey as a musicianâand the ambiguity and imperfection that comes with it. By the end of the essay, the writer has come full circle. Throughout the essay, the writer also uses strong, creative language and a tight narrative pacing. Grade: A!
Before we get into the rest of our examples, let's take a quick detour to go over the role essays play in the admissions process.
How to Use College Essay Examples
Hereâs the thing. People in college admissions have lots of different opinions about whether students should read example essays. But we believe that reading example essays is a crucial step in the college essay writing process.
If you donât know what a college essay looks like, then how should you expect yourself to write one?
So reading examples is important.
However! Thereâs a caveat. The point of reading college essay examples isnât to copy them or even to get inspiration from them. Itâs to analyze them and apply what youâve learned to your own college essay.
To help you do that, our team of former admissions officers has taken this super-comprehensive compilation of college essay examples and pointed out exactly what you need to know before you start writing.
Let me break down how this post works:
Categories:
Weâve put together a great variety of college essay examples and sorted them into three categories, includingâŠ
- Best college essay examples: these examples are the creme-de-la-creme. Theyâre written by a small percentage of students who are exceptional writers.
- Good college essay examples: these examples are solid. They do exactly what they need to do on the admissions committee floor. Youâre aiming to write a good college essay.
- âBadâ college essay examples: these examples illustrate a few of the most common college essay mistakes we see.
Our former admissions officers have assigned each essay a letter grade to help you understand where it falls on the scale of âbadâ college essays to exceptional college essays.
Alongside our categorization and grades, our former admissions officers have also annotated the essays and provided concrete feedback about what works and what could be improved.
The majority of essays youâll see here are written in response to the Common Application personal statement prompts. Weâve also included a few stellar supplemental essays at the end of the post.
How an Admissions Officer Reads College Essays
All admissions officers are different. And all institutions ask their admissions officers to read in different ways.
But there are a few strategies that shape how the majority of admissions officers read college essays. (If you want a look behind the mysterious admissions curtain, read our post about how admissions offices read tens of thousands of applications every year .)
First, we need to talk about application reading as a whole.
Remember that admissions officers are reading your college essays in the context of your entire application. Itâs likely that by the time they get to your essay, theyâve already glanced at your background information, activities , and transcript . They may have even looked at your letters of recommendation or additional information.
Why is this detail important? It matters because your college essays need to be in conversation with the rest of your application. We refer to this strategy as adopting a â cohesive application narrative .â Your unique personal brandâwho you are, what youâre good at, what you valueâshould emerge across all of your application materials.
To summarize: your college essays donât exist in a vacuum. Your admissions officers learn about who you are from your entire application, and your college essays are the place where you get to tell them exactly what you want them to know. You should write them in a way that creates balance among the other parts of your application.
So once your admissions officers get to your college essays, what are they looking for?
Theyâre looking for several things. Each of your essays doesnât have to address all of these points, but they are a great place to start:
- Personal narrative that explains who you are and where you come from
- Details about specific activities, accomplishments, or inclinations
- Personality traits that make you who you are
- Lessons youâve learned throughout your life
- Values that you hold dear
- Information about how you interact with the world around you
- Highlights about what makes you special, strong, interesting, or unique
What do all of these points have in common? They revolve around your core strengths . Weâve written more extensively about core strengths in our college essay writing guide . But for now, just know this: your college essays should tell admissions officers something positive about yourself. They want to know who you are, what motivates you, and why you would be an active contributor to their campus.
As we go through the following example essays, remember: college essays are read alongside the rest of your application, and college admissions officers read your essays to learn about your core strengths. That's why our work with students focuses on creating a clear, cohesive narrative across the personal statement and supplemental essays, as you'll see in this post.
Okay, letâs get to it. Ready? Buckle up.
The Best College Essay Examples
As an admissions officer, every so often you come across an essay that blows you away. It stops you in your tracks, makes you laugh or cry, or resonates deeply with you. When exceptional essays come through your application bin, youâre reminded what an honor it is to get these fleeting glimpses into incredible studentsâ lives.
As an applicant, you may be wondering how to write this kind of exceptional college essay. Unfortunately, thereâs no simple formula. You canât âhackâ your way into it. You have to write vulnerable, authentically, and beautifullyâwhich is much easier said than done. We have a whole guide on how to write a personal statement that stands out, so we recommend that you start there.
For now, letâs take a look at some of our favorites.
College Essay Example #2: The Gospel of Steve
The first college essay we'll look at got an A+ grade and is about the writer's experience with depression and... Steve Irwin. It's a common application essay. Check it out:
" In sophomore year, I struggled with depression((While this is a fantastic essay, this hook could definitely be stronger.)) . I felt like I was constantly battling against the darkness that seemed to be closing in on me. Until, that is, I found solace in the teachings of Steve Irwin.((This unusual last sentence drew me in when I read this for the first time.))
When I first discovered Steve Irwin and his show "The Crocodile Hunter," I was captivated by his passion for wildlife. He was fearless, jumping into danger without hesitation to save an animal in need. But it was more than just his bravery that inspired me; it was his infectious energy and love for life. Watching him on TV, I couldn't help but feel a little bit better about my own struggles.((This explicit reflection does a fantastic job connecting the writerâs experiences to this Steve Irwin reference.))
But it wasn't until I read his biography that I truly felt the impact Steve had on my life. In the book, he talked openly about his own struggles with depression. He talked about the dark moments in his life, when he felt like he was drowning in despair. But he also talked about how he fought back against the darkness, how he refused to let it consume him, and how he turned his depression into a career that allowed him to follow his biggest passions.
Reading Steve's words, I felt like he was speaking directly to me.((Another beautiful transition)) I wasn't alone in my struggles if someone as brave and fearless as Steve had faced similar challenges. And that gave me the courage to keep going. I started visiting a therapist, exercising regularly, and practicing mindfulness meditation. Day by day, I lifted myself out of my depressionâall with a healthy dose of âCrocodile Hunterâ each evening after I finished my homework((The writer does a great job focusing on action steps here.)) .
One of the things that I admired most about Steve was his ability to find joy and laughter in the most unlikely places. He was always cracking jokes, even in the face of danger. He taught me that laughter and humor can be a powerful tool in the fight against depression. I went looking for the humor in my own struggles. I started learning about how stand-up comedy works, and wrote my own five-minute skit finding the humor and silver lining((The writer expands their connection to Steve Irwin even more through this comedy thread.)) in my depression. I wasnât a great comic, let me tell you. But being able to channel my experience into something positiveâsomething that helped others laughâwas extremely gratifying to me.
Depression((The reflection in this paragraph is exactly what writers need to tie all the information together before reaching the conclusion.)) is a bizarre thing. One day, youâre besieged by it from every side and it looks like thereâs no way out. Then, two months later, if youâre diligent, you look around the world and wonder what you ever had to be upset about. You find goodness and light in the things around youâyour friends, your family, your habits, and your hobbies. These forces act as buttresses to keep you standing up and moving forward.
As silly as it may sound, I credit Steve Irwin with that first buttress. His experience and outlook on life gave me the push I needed to cultivate bravery and resilience in the face of my struggle with mental health. My eternal goal is now to practice the gospel of Steveâto always pass along humor, passion, and encouragement to others, especially to those who seem down and out. Thank you, Steve."
Word Count: 525
Admissions Officer Notes on The Gospel of Steve
This essay captured my attention because of its unique pairing of a tough subjectâdepressionâwith a light-hearted and endearing topicâSteve Irwin.
The writer doesnât dwell in the experience of depression but instead finds hope and light by focusing on how their favorite TV star changed their perspective. Why this essay stands out:
- Great organization and sign-posting . The essay clearly progresses through each part of the writerâs journey. The first sentence of each paragraph signals to the reader what that paragraph will be about.
- Focus on action steps. Itâs very apparent that this writer is a do-er. The focus of the essay is on the way they emerged from their depression, not on the depression itself.
- Meaningful reflection. Especially in the second-to-last paragraph and conclusion, the writer beautifully reflects on what depression and hope mean to them.
- Core strengths. From this essay alone, I gather that the writer is a sage archetype . They clearly show their wisdom and ability to persist through challenges.
Most importantly, theyâve written the essay around communicating their core strengths.
College Essay Example #3: The Embroidery Scientist
This essay is about a writer's Etsy store and the connection she draws between fashion and science.
I stretch the thin fabric over my hoop and pull it tight, wedging the nested rings between my legs to secure them shut with my other hand((This hook is compelling. It makes us ask, âWhat in the world is the writer doing?â We are compelled to read on to find out.)) .
Next I get out the thread. Each color is wound tightly around a paper spool and stored in a container whose original purpose was to store fishing tackle.
I look at the pre-printed design on the fabric and decide what colors to select. Orange, red, pink, yellowâthis design will be as bright and happy as I can make it.
Embroidery is where the STEM and creative parts of my identity converge((Here we get a clear, explicit statement of the writerâs main point. This isnât always necessary, but it can help your reader navigate your essay more easily if you have a lot going on.)) . My STEM side is calculated. She meticulously plans the designs, mocks them up in photoshop, and painstakingly transfers them onto the fabric. She organizes each thread color by its place in ROYGBIV and cuts every piece to an identical length of 18â. Her favorite stitch is the French Knot, with its methodical âone, twoâ wrap sequence. For her, art is about precision.
My creative side, on the other hand, is messy. She throws thread scraps on the floor without hesitation, and she haphazardly adds design elements in pen. She does a Lazy Daisy stitch very lazily while adding an indescribable flourish to a simple backstitch. Her methods are indeed madness: sheâll border a design with glitter glue, hang a finished project upside down, or stitch a big red X over a perfectly good embroidery. For her, art is about meaning.
While these two sides of myself may seem at odds((Seamless transition to talking about Etsy accomplishment)) , they actually complement each other perfectly. At least, thatâs what 3,000 of my Etsy customers think. From three-inch hoops to massive wall hangings, my Etsy shop is a compilation of the best embroidery Iâve ever done. My precision and meaning have earned me hundreds of five-star reviews from customers whose lives Iâve impacted with my art. And none of that art would have been possible without STEM me and creative me.
My STEM and creative side complement each other in more than my embroidery life too. What began as a creative side hustle has actually made me a better scientist((Another good transition to discussing passion and talent for science)) .
Before I started embroidering, I approached the lab bench with an eye like a ruler. Poured a millimeter too much liquid? Better get a pipette. Went a degree over boiling? Time to start over. My lab reports demonstrated my knowledge, skill, and care, but they didnât show any innovation or ingenuity. My precision led me to be a good scientist but not an exceptional one.
I realized that to be exceptional, I needed to think like a real scientist. While scientists are careful and precise, they are also interrogators. They constantly question the world around them, identifying previously unseen problems and finding creative solutions. To become the scientist I wanted to be, I needed to allow myself to be more creative((This is a good example of what reflection throughout the essay should look like.)) .
When I had this realization, I had just begun my embroidery business. I didnât understand that my creativity could also be so useful in the lab. I set out on a new path to use more creativity in the pursuit of science.
To inspire myself, I brought an embroidery project to the lab. On it, I stitched a compound microscope and a quote from one of my favorite scientists, Marie Curie. It reads, â I am among those who think that science has great beauty.â
In the lab now, Iâm not afraid to take risks and try new things((Here we see clear personal growth.)) . When I boil my mixture too long, I still start over. But occasionally, when my teacher permits, I do a second experiment on the rejected liquid just to see what will happen. Sometimes nothing happens. Sometimes it results in utter failure. But other times, my mistakes create blue, green, and purple mixtures, mixtures that bubble and burst and fizz. All of these experiments are stitches in my quest to become a cancer researcher. They are messy, but they are beautiful((The conclusion ties beautifully back to the beginning, and we also learn what the writer is interested in pursuing in the future.)) .
Admissions Officer Notes on "Embroidery Scientist"
This writer has done an excellent job talking about two very different aspects of their identity. What I love about this essay is that the structure of the essay itself shows the writerâs creativity and precision. The essay is well-organized and precise, but the writing has a unique and creative flair. It demonstrates the writerâs point exactly. I also appreciate how the writer doesnât just talk about these parts of their identity. They explicitly connect their creativity and precision to their future goals as a scientist.
Why this essay stands out:
- Creative approach: The writer doesnât just say, âI have two identities: creative and logical.â Instead, they illustrate that point through the wonderful example of embroidery. Connecting embroidery with science also shows this creativity.
- Attention-grabbing hook : The introductory paragraphs place readers immediately into the essay. Weâre drawn in because weâre curious what the writer is doing and how it will evolve into a more meaningful message.
- Connection between personal and academic interests: The writer makes it clear why this story matters for their life in college. The creative and precise personalities arenât inconsequentialâthey have a real effect on who this person wants to be.
- Forward-looking conclusion: The writer ends by subtly telling admissions officers what theyâre interested in doing during and after college.
College Essay Example #4: Poetry Slam
When I first met Simon, he was neither speaking nor singing. He was doing something in between(( This hook is a good âstatementâ hook that raises more questions than it answers.)) . With words that flowed together like an ancient tributary, he spoke music. His hands grasping a microphone, he swayed slowly from side to side. He was a poet. But unlike that of Yeats or Dickenson, Simonâs poetry wasnât meant to be read on a pageâit was meant to be experienced like an aural work of art. And I had never experienced anything more beautiful. Disheartened, I realized that my words would never sound like Simonâs(( These two sentences are essential because otherwise the introduction would be all about Simon, not the writer.)) .
I sat in my on-deck seat. Forgetting that I was up next, I admired his craft. The crescendos and decrescendos that mirrored his pacing, the quick staccatos that punctuated each stanza, the rhymes so subtle they almost disappearedâevery second of his spoken word pulled me further from reality. I listened to his words like a devout in church(( This is good sentence pacing. A long, winding sentence is followed by a short one that keeps our attention and propels us forward.)) . Closing my eyes, I joined my hands together to count the syllables. From the outside, it probably looked like I was praying. And maybe I was. When Simonâs poem ended, the audience, though betrayed by the silence, erupted into applause.
It was my turn. I had spent an entire year perfecting my poem. My sister had grown accustomed to kicking me under the dinner table when someone asked me a question. She knew that my mind was in my beloved poetry notebook, mentally analyzing my latest draft. Iâve never been one for living in the moment. My report cards usually feature comments like, âSheâs a good student but has trouble paying attention.â Iâm always the first one out in dodgeball because my mind is completely absent from the school gym. But what seems like inattention to my teachers is actually a kind of profound focus(( This reflection widens the essayâs scope and reveals more about who the writer is as a person.)) .
When writing slam poetry, I become completely consumed. I like to start with the words. The rhythm and intonation come with time. For me, itâs about translating a feeling into language. Itâs no easy task, but it feels like an obligation. Once the words come into being, theyâre like a twister in my mind(( Good (and sparing) use of figurative language.)) . They spin and spin, destroying every other thought in their path. I canât focus on anything else because, in the aftermath of a twister, nothing else exists.
And there on the stage, nothing else existed besides me and my poem. I spoke it into existence. Like Simon, I wrapped my hands around the microphone, willing my poem to be heard. The twister exited my mind and entered the world.
A few weeks ago(( Excellent signposting)) , I watched the recording of my first poetry slam, that slam two years ago when I saw Simon perform for the first time. I saw myself climb on stage from the dark abyss of the audience. I looked small, all alone on that big stage. My voice shook as I began. But soon, my poem rendered the stage smaller and smaller. I filled the darkness with words.
As I watched myself on my computer, I thought about how I felt that day, awe-struck in the audience by Simonâs work. I felt like Iâd never be able to sound like him. And I was right. My poem didnât sound like Simonâs, and none of my poems ever would. But in this moment, I realized that they were just as beautiful. My words sounded like me(( Beautiful conclusion that really drives home just how much this person has grown. They donât need to sound like Simon. They need to sound like themself.)) .
Word Count: 552
Admissions Officer Notes on Poetry Slam
We would call this essay a âsacred practiceâ essay. Itâs clear that slam poetry is deeply meaningful to the writer. They even call it âan obligation.â Itâs a beautiful essay that also reflects the writerâs interest in poetry. They have some nice figurative language that adds interest to the storyâitâs almost like the essay is in some ways a poem itself. And the story is a good one: it demonstrates the writerâs fears, strengths, and growth.
- Deeply meaningful: We say it all the time because itâs true: college essays should be vulnerable and deeply meaningful. This essay oozes meaning. The writer even connects their love of slam poetry to who they are as a person.
- Good organization and signposting: The narrative in this essay is a little complicated as the writer switches between the slam poetry event, reflection on past events, and reflection during current day. But because each paragraph is about a single topic, and because they use very clear topic sentences and transitions, itâs easy to follow the narrative thread.
- Theme: The main theme in this essay is that the writer found their own voice through slam poetry. They had to experience growth to come to this realization. The very last sentence of the essay wonderfully ties back to the introduction and wraps up the entire essay.
College Essay Example #5: The Muscle Show
My parents are the scrapbooking type(( Iâm intrigued by this hook! It makes me ask, âWhere is this essay going?â)) . The crafty, crazy-cut scissors and construction paper, okay-everyone-make-a-silly-face-for-this-picture type.
Every summer, my entire family rents a small house in Wildwood, New Jersey for a week to catch up and enjoy the beach and good company. My favorite part is spending time with my cousin Steven, who is one year older than me. To us, there is nothing better than two pockets full of quarters, strolling down the boardwalk headed to an arcade, licking an ice cream cone, and laughing at all the novelty t-shirts for sale(( This sentence beautifully gives us a sense of place. It evokes a sense of nostalgia, too.)) .
We have a âdown the shoreâ scrapbook proudly displayed on our coffee table that holds memories from each of our family vacations. The scrapbook(( Ah-ha. A quick answer to our scrapbooking question.)) is such a fixture in our house that it blends in with its surroundings and I fully forgot it existed until this past March. I happened to pick it up and look at pictures from the first year we went. I was four, Steven was five, and there we were, shirtless in the living room, proudly displaying our kid âmusclesâ in front of a handmade sign that said âWELCOME 2 THE MUSLE SHOWâ.
I cried when I saw it.
No, not because we spelled muscle wrong. The four-year-old in that picture had such a small and fragile frame. I was the kind of child who almost looked like they had six-pack abs because they are so slim. There was so much naivety in that picture that no longer exists(( With this sentence, our writer begins to embark on their journey.)) .
I started gaining weightâa lot of weightâaround the fifth grade. My parents are wonderful role models in the way they treat others, but they arenât exactly paragons of healthy eating. Looking through the scrapbook, none of the adults in my family were particularly healthy. I distinctly remember my dad saying to me sometime in elementary school, âwhat do these people go to the gym for, anyway? What are you going to do with all those muscles?â I spent elementary and middle school on a steady diet of McDonaldâs, Doritos, and video games.
I hit 200 pounds at age 14. One day in my least favorite class, PE, we had to do a push-up competition. Not only could I not do one, I was out of breath just getting up and down from the floor. Something had to change(( And here is our inciting incident in this narrative arc)) .
I turned to one thing I was good at to figure out a solution: reading. I read books like âWhy We Get Fatâ by Gary Taubes and started to learn the science behind calories, carbs, insulin, and soon, exercise. Even though neither of my parents had ever been inside a gym, I convinced them to buy me some training sessions and a membership that Christmas.
Itâs remarkable what happens when you suddenly stop consuming fried chicken and soda, go for a daily 20-minute power walk, and exercise a few times a week. Progress in losing weight actually came sooner than I expected. By sophomore year, I was lifting weights four times a week after school and felt more comfortable in the gym than anywhere else.
I also noticed my attitude towards schoolwork was changing(( This is a good transition to widen the scope of the essay and talk about the broader implications of this journey on the writerâs life.)) . I felt like I had control in my life for the first time. I had spent countless hours trying to âlevel upâ fake characters in video games (OK, I still do thatâŠ). But leveling up myselfâmy own body and mindâwas life changing. So much in life is out of our control, but realizing that, at least to an extent, my own health is within my control brought a new sense of purpose, responsibility, and pride.
Today, Iâm at a healthy weight, my grades have improved, and I have even taken several of my friends to the gym for their first time. I look forward to continuing my healthy trend in college and beyond.
Iâll see Steven again at this summerâs beach trip. We have decided to recreate the âmusle showâ pictureâthis time with better spelling and in better health(( This short conclusion wraps everything up and has a great callback to the beginning of the essay.)) .
Admissions Officer Notes on The Muscle Show
What I like about this essay is how it weaves together multiple parts of this writerâs life. We get their family background, their sense of self, and their values, interests, and goals. The writer takes us on a journey with them. We see their determination in finding solutions to the problems theyâre facing, and we also clearly see their personality and voice.
- Upward-trending growth structure : This writer nails this essay structure. We clearly see that they begin at a âpoint Aâ where things arenât so great, and they steadily make their way to âpoint B.â By the end, we truly get a sense of how theyâve grown through the journey.
- Connections: This essay isnât just about the writerâs health journey. Itâs also about their âsense of purpose, responsibility, and pride.â Their changes expanded to even more parts of their life, and we can see that they are a person who takes initiative and gets creative with solutions.
- Conclusion: I especially love the way this conclusion brings everything full-circle. The âmusle showâ reference at the end ties the journey nicely together with a bow and ends with a sense of forward movement.
College Essay Example #6: The Stop Sign
While some high schoolers get in trouble for skipping class, I get in trouble for arguing with my local government officials on Twitter. But when lives are at stake, I can take the heat(( Very catchy, humorous, and personality-filled hook)) .
I live at the intersection of 33rd and Spruce. The intersection itself sits between a large bend and a bundle of white oak treesâa recipe for obstructed views. Drivers careen around the corner, Indy 500-style, and are abruptly met with oncoming traffic. Neither can see the other through the oaks. What is otherwise a beautiful intersection makes for awfully dangerous driving conditions.
Living by this intersection my whole life, Iâve heard countless crashes and collisions. The screeching tires and cacophony of crushing car parts is seared in my mind. As neighbors, we are often the first on the scene. Cell phone in hand, Iâve run out to help several motorists who didnât know what was coming. After the most recent crash, where a car flipped into the ditch, I knew that something had to change(( The writer has set the scene with a vivid description, and these sentences draw our attention to whatâs at stake. They need a stop sign, and itâs clear that the writer is on a mission to get one.)) . We needed a stop sign.
I began with a google search, which led me to my local Stop Sign Request Form. According to the form, a government official would reach out to me. If they deemed it appropriate, weâd work together to assess whether the intersection qualified for a stop sign.
Their response took months. While I waited, I began collecting evidence on my own(( The writerâs initiative shines through.)) . After noticing that the security camera on my house pointed toward the intersection, I decided to put the skills Iâd been developing in AP Computer Science to work. I wrote a simple code that tabulated the number of cars that passed through the intersection each day(( Here we see the technical skills the writer is developing.)) . Briefly reviewing the footage each night also helped me determine how many cars were likely going over the posted speed limit of forty miles per hour. Alongside these statistics, I went back into our cloud history to find footage of the crashes that had occurred.
When I finally heard back from the city, I was ready to make my case. My confidence deflated as soon as I opened the email(( Oh no! Thereâs a roadblock. Things arenât progressing as the writer hoped.)) : Thank you for filling out a Stop Sign Request Form , the email read. At this time, we do not have reason to believe that the intersection of 33rd Street and Spruce Street meets the criteria for a two-way stop sign. The city had disagreed with my recommendation and denied my request.
I took a moment to collect myself. How could the city not care about the safety of its citizens? Were human lives not worth looking into a simple stop sign? I took to Twitter, posting statistics from my research, photos of the obstructed view, and a security camera compilation of cars speeding by. I tagged my local representatives, and I asked for help(( But the writer doesnât focus on the problem. They continue to focus on their action steps and solutions. Thatâs exactly how you talk about a personal challenge in a college essay.)) .
While not all of them were receptive to my post, one particularly helpful representative connected me with my cityâs City Engineer. The representative instructed me to send the City Engineer all of the evidence I had collected along with another copy of my Stop Sign Request Form.
The engineer was impressed with the code I wrote and the tracking system Iâd put together, and she agreed to meet me at my house to do an inspection of the intersection. I accompanied her on the inspection so I could watch what she did. After working so hard to advocate for my community, it felt good to have my opinions heard.
In the end, I got my stop sign(( The writer emphasizes that it wasnât just about winning the stop sign debate. It was about the community impact. And what do admissions officers want to see? Yep, community impact.)) . Drivers still occasionally speed, but I was astounded by the outpouring of thanks I received after my neighborhood was alerted of the change. My foray into local government was an eventful but rewarding one. And even though Iâve secured my stop sign, Iâll still be doing stop sign research this summerâ this time as an intern at the City Engineerâs office(( And the writer pops in this awesome opportunity theyâve earned as a result. As an AO, I would see that they are continuing to prepare for college as their high school career is coming to a close.)) .
Word Count: 641
Admissions Officer Notes on The Stop Sign
This essay combines a story of personal strengths with an impactful accomplishment. Itâs not necessary to write about one of your accomplishments in your college essays, but if thatâs the route you want to go down, then this approach is a good one. Notice how it focuses on concrete action steps, emphasizes the skills the writer learned and used, and highlights how their actions impacted their community. A stop sign may seem small in the grand scheme of things, but the writer shows just how important this effort was.
- Community impact: The accomplishment this writer chose to write about is an impressive one. Admissions officers are always looking at how applicants interact with their communities , so this story showcases the writerâs willingness to help and engage with those around them.
- Strengths: Above all, we see that the writer is solutions-oriented. They are a âfounderâ or âbuilderâ archetype and arenât afraid to tackle hard problems. The writer also explicitly shows how they solved the problem using impressive skills.
- Narrative momentum : This essay is easy to read because weâre always wondering whatâs going to happen next. The hook is very catchy, the ups and downs of the writerâs struggle to solve this problem are clear, and the conclusion points to the overall significance of the story and looks toward its future impact.
College Essay Example #7: Franâs Flower Farm
Surrounded(( The hook is interesting and vivid.)) by carnations, dahlias, and marigolds, I laid down on the hard dirt, sweating from the midday sun. While my garden was a labor of love, it was still a labor. Iâd spent months during the beginning of the pandemic researching how to set up beds correctly, choose seeds and fertilizers, and run a small business(( We get plopped right into the story without wasting any time.)) . A year later, this summer would be the second harvest of Franâs Flower Farm.
As I prepared the yield for my small table at that weekâs farmers market, I reflected on how far I had come(( This transitional phrase is a quick and convenient way to incorporate reflection.)) . Prior to the pandemic, I had never even dug in the dirt. I didnât know anything about seed germination or nitrogen levels. I had my own Instagram, but I had never had to market anything or think about overhead costs. I was a total and complete newb.
But my life, like everyoneâs, changed in spring of 2020. Lockdown rendered me depressed and hopeless until one day when my mom ordered me a bouquet of flowers along with our grocery delivery. The bouquet was a simple grocery store arrangement of sunflowers. A few petals were wilting at the ends, and the stems were smashed from the flour that had been in the same plastic bag. But they were perfect. Such a small and thoughtful gesture, that bouquet inspired me to get to work(( Niceâhere we learn about the âinciting incidentâ that compelled the writer to get started on their flower farm.)) .
Lucky enough to have space for flower beds, I mapped out four different six-foot beds in my backyard. Garden tools stolen from my mom and borrowed from socially-distanced neighbors in hand, I added compost, arranged my seeds, watered, and mulched. I laid protective plastic over my beds, tucking them in like a child, and wrapped the garden in decade-old chickenwire I found in our barn. My garden was imperfectâcompost trailed between beds, my hose wrapped around my shovel in a heap on the ground, and the chickenwire was dented and rusty. But it was all mine, and it was alive(( I like this paragraph because we really see the writerâs personality. They are determined, innovative, and grateful.)) .
As the pandemic waged on, I tended to my flowers. Each morning, Iâd peek under the plastic to see how they had fared throughout the night. They gave me routine and purpose when the days seemed droning and neverending. The longer I kept them alive, the more their sprouts brought me life, too(( This is a very nice and poetic point.)) . In a world that seemed to come to a halt, my flowers showed me that growth wasnât just possibleâit was happening right in front of me.
The business side came soon after(( The transition here could be a touch smoother.)) . Later that summer, once my first crop had bloomed, I set up a roadside stand outside of my house. At that point, I had to put my flower buckets across the driveway from my stand to keep everyone safe. But my flowers brightened the days of hundreds of passing motorists. With growing confidence, I secured a spot at the farmerâs market by July, my business boomed(( Iâd like to see some specific details here about how well the business was doing.)) . Returning all profits to my garden, Iâve expanded my operations to include two more flower beds this year.
Iâm proud of how far my gardening and business skills have come, but what has been most fulfilling about Franâs Flower Farm have been the connections Iâve made. The pandemic was difficult for everyone, but it was especially difficult for healthcare workers. As the child of a healthcare worker myself, these challenges have been close to home. Knowing how greatly that bouquet of sunflowers affected me, I make sure to donate flowers(( And this sweet gesture shows another one of the writerâs strengths.)) to my local hospital in thanks every week.
Three years ago, I would never have guessed that Iâd own my own flower farm. Itâs brought me so many joys, challenges, and friends. I know I wonât be able to bring my flower farm with me to college. But the heart of the farm is more than the flowers(( Here, the writer wraps up the main theme of the essay and makes sure the reader really understands the point.)) . Itâs about me learning and using my skills to help others. Wherever Iâm planted, I know that I will bloom(( This phrasing is cliche. The writer could re-write the idea in their own words.)) .
Word Count: 643
AO Notes on Franâs Flower Farm Grade: A
I donât know about you, but Iâd love to buy a bouquet of flowers from this student! While the ending is a bit cliche, we really see how far this student has come in their journey as a farmer and a business person. We also see the magnitude of their impact. They not only grew a successful small business, but they also gave back to the healthcare workers in their community. The student is definitely one I could see thriving in a campus community.
- Topic and accomplishments : Like The Stop Sign, this essay conveys an impressive accomplishment. But the essay isnât bragging about it or overstating its significance. It works well because the writer tells a genuine story about a passion they developed.
- Variety: The writer also manages to show us two distinct strengths in one essay. We see their strength as a DIY farmer and as a business person. They are clearly a founder archetype.
- Organization and style: The essay opens with a beautiful description, and we get a lot of good language throughout. The writer is able to go through a fairly complicated timeline in a concise and digestible way.
Good College Essay Examples
Not every student can write an exceptional college essay. And thatâs okay. Sometimes itâs not one of your priorities or in your particular skill set.
Thankfully, college essays donât have to be exceptional to earn admission. They can simply be good. You can still write a solid college essay that does everything you need it to do.
So whatâs the difference between the best college essays and good college essays? Usually itâs writing style. Some writers have a gift for writing or have spent years practicing their craft, and those are usually the writers who produce essays that make admissions officers gasp.
But admissions officers recognize good, solid writing and storytelling, too.
So writing a good college essay should always be your main goal. Focus on the basics first before trying to level up to an exceptional essay.
College Essay Example #8: My Emotional Support Water Bottle
I had a stuffed animal named Elephant when I was a child(( This hook makes a statement that compels me to read on so I can figure out what theyâre referring to.)) . Iâve long since outgrown Elephant, but now I have a new object that I keep around for comfort: my emotional support water bottle. A gray thirty-two-ounce wide-mouth Hydroflask, my emotional support water bottle accompanies me everywhere.
The water bottle was a gift last Christmas after I begged my mom for one. The brand had become extremely popular at my school, and I wanted in on the trend. When I opened the package that Christmas morning, I was elated. I felt an immediate attachment, and I was proud that I could finally fit in with the other kids at my school(( Here we learn about the connection between the waterbottle and the writerâs values)) .
I had always felt like an outsider(( In this paragraph, the writer zooms the focus out to their life in general. We need this reflection to understand why the topic matters so much to the writer.)) . Other students seemed to fit together like puzzle pieces. But as much as I tried, I couldnât find a picture that matched my piece. I envied the tight-knit friendships I saw among my peers.
As soon as I unwrapped my water bottle, I decided that I needed stickers to match. The kids at my school always had stickers on theirs. I found the perfect pack. It had animated depictions of every famous literary character imaginable. Jane Austen characters, Jay Gatsby, Sherlock Holmes, Guy Montag, Jane Eyre, and more. I couldnât believe my luck.
No matter how disconnected I felt from my classmates, I could always find a community on my bookshelf(( The writer introduces another topic, literature, that tells us more about who they are.)) . I sat in the courtroom with Atticus Finch, walked through the streets of Saint Petersburg with Raskolnikov, and watched the revolution unfold alongside Satrapi. My literary friends kept me optimistic through difficult times, and I was glad to see them every day on my beloved Hydroflask.
After winter break ended, I couldnât wait to debut my new accessory. I placed it atop my desk in each class, angling my favorite stickers outward in hopes of connection. I was profoundly comforted by its presenceâI could always take a sip of water when I felt thirsty or uncomfortable, and its stickers promised to draw people in.
To my dismay(( This paragraph serves an important plot function. We see that everything, in fact, did not work out perfectly. By highlighting this challenge, we really get a sense of the writerâs problem-solving and resilience.)) , weeks went by, and no one noticed my Hydroflask or stickers. The school was filled with dozens more Hydroflasks after the holidays, so mine didnât seem so special. What had once filled me with so much hope and support transformed into a reminder of an unfulfilled promise of friendship.
I coped with the disappointment by re-reading one of my childhood favorites, Le Petit Prince . Near the end, when the little prince returns to water his flower, I had a realization. I couldnât wait around for people to come to me(( Ding, ding, ding! Here we have it. The main lesson the writer has learned. Whatâs great, too, is that theyâve stated it so clearly.)) . I had to bring the water to them.
The next day at school, I held my Hydroflask close and gathered all my courage. I headed into the lunch room and spotted Jordan, one of the people Iâd chatted with in class. She was sitting alone at a table, reading a book I couldnât identify. I asked if I could join her. Nodding, she told me about her book, White Teeth . When I placed my Hydroflask on the lunch table, she noticed my stickers(( This sentence is crucial because it ties all these threads together: the waterbottle, stickers, literature, and friendship/fitting in.)) . Together, we went through every sticker and talked about the characterâs book.
Jordan and I spent the next dayâs lunch exchanging laughter and book recommendations. She had a water bottle of her own, too. It was a classic Nalgene without a single sticker. As our friendship grew stronger, I brought Jordan the last sticker from my collection(( With this small gesture, we see a) the writerâs kindness and b) the writerâs personal growth.)) , a rainbow bookmark that read, âBOOKWORM.â
Iâve always looked to the world around me for comfort instead of finding courage within myself. Elephant still sits on my shelf, I continue to be an avid reader, and I always carry my Hydroflask around for hydration. But this learning process has taught me the importance of having confidence and finding the ability to reach out to others. I canât wait to carry this skill with me to collegeâ after I get some more stickers(( The conclusion ties all these threads together beautifully, and this final statement adds some spunk and forward movement.)) .
Word Count: 648
Admissions Officer Notes on My Emotional Support Waterbottle
Ah, the emotional support water bottle. Weâve all had one! This writer does a wonderful job connecting an otherwise simple object to a larger story about an important part of their life. We also learn a lot about the student, their background, their goals, and their interests from this essay. I especially like how the essay shows the writerâs academic passion (literature) without being an explicitly academic-focused essay.
What makes this essay good:
- Storytelling: With their love of reading, itâs no wonder this writer is a good storyteller. As readers, we get a very clear sense of how the events progressed and changed the readerâs perspective.
- Compelling hook: This essayâs introduction is attention-grabbing and quirky. It compels readers to continue on in the essay to find out what, exactly the writer is talking about.
- Clean conclusion: The conclusion is a fantastic example of what college essay conclusions should do. It reflects back on the essay, ties up loose ends, and looks forward to how these lessons will apply to the writerâs future.
What the writer could do to level up:
- Core Strengths: While we learn a lot about the writer from the essay, there could be a stronger sense of core strengths. We see that they are a strong reader, but that strength doesnât necessarily connect to their overall message. We also see that they are eager to connect and become a good friend with Jordan, but they donât all connect seamlessly into a specific archetype or two. A good question to ask yourself is: how would the strengths I show in this essay convince an admissions officer that I will be a good addition to their campus?
College Essay Example #9: Party of One
The sun shone through my airplane window, hitting the tray table exactly right to reveal the greasy handprint of a child. Beside me, a woman cleared her throat as she rifled through her purse, and the tween next to her tapped away on an iPad. The knees of the tall man behind me pushed against the back of my chair. Together, we headed to Pennsylvania(( We open with clear scene-setting, and the final sentence jumps right to the point: weâre on a journey to PA.)) .
This wasnât my first trip to Pennsylvania, and it wouldnât be my last. But it was my first trip traveling as a party of one. Barely past the unaccompanied minor cutoff, I departed for a month-long and court-ordered trip to my dadâs house. I wasnât eager to travel alone. I felt afraid, too young to do this by myself. I wanted to go back home. But I decided to embrace the journey as an adventure(( This explicit reflection helps us, the reader, understand what mindset the writer is at at the beginning of this journey.)) .
With the growing whirr of the engines, the plane ascended. All around me, my neighbors breathed sighs of relief when we reached cruising altitude. I tightened my seatbelt across my lap, steadying myself for the five-hour trip, and took in the scene. Always the quiet and careful observer(( And here we really learn about who the writer is)) , a full flight was my Sistine Chapel.
The woman to my right was wearing all black. She extracted her laptop from her bag the moment the flight attendants permitted, and she created a PowerPoint presentation from scratch before the drinks cart had even started down the aisle. She was all business. I imagined that she signed her emails with nothing but her name, that she read Keynes in her free time, and that people listened when she spoke. She was everything I longed to be(( While the majority of this paragraph is about the writerâs seat mate, this final sentence brings the focus back to the writer. We learn that the description, in fact, was about the writer themselfâeverything they âlonged to be.â)) .
Next was the tween, only a few years younger than I was. Clearly afraid of flying, the tween reached across the aisle to a man who was presumably her father. I found it endearing that she reached out in fear. The dadâs reassurance didnât just comfort the tween. It comforted me. So far from home, his quiet calm reminded me of the parent waiting to pick me up at the other end of this journey. I remembered reaching out for my own fatherâs hand when we flew to Pennsylvania for the first time(( Here we have more great reflection about the writerâs relationship with their dad. )) . Now, I watched the dad squeeze the tweenâs hand. I felt guilty for the frustration I felt about the trip. I was excited to see my dad.
And finally, there was the man behind me. Aside from the brief glimpse I got during boarding, I didnât know what he looked like. But there were two things I knew to be true. First, he was tall. The longer the flight went on, the more apologetically his knees bumped against my seat. Second, I felt emboldened by his ability to take up space. With each nudge forward, I spread myself a little bigger(( The writerâs encounter with this man nudged their growth forward. At the beginning, they felt small and timid. Now, theyâre more able to take up space.)) , daring to exist in a world I normally wanted to hide from.
Four hours into the flight, turbulence hit. The long-legged man yelped as his knee hit the metal of the seat. Bigger now(( And that growth is solidified even more through this brief transition statement.)) , I was able to brace myself against the impact. I looked to the tween, who I expected to be a wreck. Instead, I saw a calm girl handing napkins to her dad, whose drink had spilled in the commotion. Her care for him mirrored the care he had shown for her. The woman next to me, who had seemed so steadfast, gasped when the plane shot downward. Her hand reached for her chest as she caught herself, surprised. I moved my arm from our shared armrest, giving her space(( This last part gives a very subtle look at the writerâs growth, too. We see that the person the writer admired isnât as strong as she had seemed. In fact, the writerâs growth has enabled them to help the woman in her moment of weakness.)) . She smiled in appreciation.
After the turbulence had ended, I looked at myself. My hands were folded neatly in my lap. I realized that although I was flying solo, I was surrounded by strangers whose stories intersected with my own(( This point could be more specific.)) . When we landed, I ran into my dadâs arms. â Youâve grown ,â he smiled.
Admissions Officer Notes on Party of One
This essay is an endearing story about the writerâs first solo plane ride. The narrative is what we would characterize as a âgoing on a journeyâ essayâboth literally and figuratively. As the writer makes this cross-country trip, they also go through a long personal journey. I especially like the tie between the introduction and conclusion. Along the way, we also learn about the writer through their observations of the other people on the flight.
- Introduction: The first two paragraphs draw the reader in, descriptively set the scene, and establish what is at stake for the writer. We are dropped right into the journey alongside them.
- Vivid language: Throughout the essay, the writer uses interesting and vivid language that helps draw the reader in. The details arenât overwhelming but add depth to the narrative.
- Reflection throughout: One of the most challenging parts of writing this kind of essay is figuring out how to incorporate your reflection throughout. Many writers mistakenly save it all to the end. But this writer does it the right way by adding reflection at each stop along their journey.
Focus on the self: As-is, this essay tells us a lot about the writer. But itâs nearing on committing one of the biggest college essay writing faux pas: focusing on people other than yourself. I think the writer is getting close to that line but doesnât yet cross it because of the reflection throughout. But to make the essay even better, the writer could still draw more focus to their own experiences.
College Essay Example #10: My Greatest Talent
Iâm a klutz(( Quirky but not too out-there hook that has a lot of personality)) âthatâs it, thatâs my greatest talent. Iâve honed my clumsiness to perfection, putting in more than my 10,000 hours over the last⊠17 years of my life.
When I was six or seven, I was always the one tripping over my own feet, knocking things over. (âThis is why we canât have nice things!â my mom used to scream, half in jest and half in exasperation.) My parents used to joke that I was the only person who could trip on a flat surface. But unfortunately for me, despite doing my due diligence into flat-earth theory(( Hereâs more humor that adds some interest and voice to the essay.)) , I found that there was a prevailingly devilish curve to everything around me. If it had a lip, an edge, or a slick spot, I found it.
As I got older(( Excellent signposting to guide the reader through the narrative)) , my talent for being a klutz grew. I managed to trip over my own backpack on a daily basis, and I once fell down a flight of stairs while holding a tray of cookies (I was trying to be a good hostess, but it didn't end well). My friends and family came to expect it, and after those first few years of irritated glances, they began to meet my clumsiness with a laugh and an extended hand.
Being a klutz isn't all bad(( Here, the writer flips our expectations on their head. Weâre about to learn about how being clumsy is, in fact, a talent.)) . In fact, it has some pretty decent perks. For one thing, itâs helped me become more empathetic. I know what it feels like to stumble and fall (and stumble and fall, and stumble and fall, andâŠ), and Iâm always ready to offer a kind word and a hug to someone whoâs having a tough time. I also have a great sense of humor(( Weâve already seen this strength in action at the beginning of the essay, so itâs another good one to highlight.)) âa defense mechanism thanks to all of the embarrassing moments that Iâve created for myself. And let's not forget the fact that I am never bored. There is always something to trip over or knock over. Neither I nor anyone around me ever lacks for entertainment.
One of the biggest benefits of being a klutz is the unexpected friendships(( Friendship is another good strength. But at this point, the essay is starting to feel somewhat list-like. It may have been better to delve more deeply into fewer strengths rather than try to cover so much at once.)) it has given me. For example(( This is a good concrete anecdote that demonstrates the point, though.)) , I once tripped and fell into a ditch while hiking with a group of near-strangers I had met at a trailhead. Surrounded by brambles and thorns, three of them jumped right down with me to hoist me out. My graceless tumble became an inside joke of the trip and we all ended up becoming good friends. I was still embarrassed, of course, but Iâm grateful that my clumsiness opened up a new door for friendship that day.
Being a klutz has also taught me to be patient with myself(( Again, we have another good strength, but itâs a lot to cover in one short essay.)) , and to not take myself too seriously. It has taught me to always be prepared for the unexpected, and to always have a good sense of humor. And most importantly, it has taught me to be kind to others(( And yet another strength! Especially since these are related, combining them in a more substantial way may have been more effective.)) , especially when they are having a tough time.
So, if you are looking for someone whoâs a little bit quirky and a lot of fun, Iâm your girl. I may not be the most graceful person on the planet, or on your campus, but I am confident, kind, and always up for a good laugh. Anyway, where's the fun in being graceful? Just, please, if you do accept meâIâd really appreciate some foam bumpers on the sharp surfaces in my dorm(( More wonderful personality to wrap things up hete. It's approaching being too informal, though.)) .
Word Count: 548
Admissions Officer Notes on My Greatest Talent
This essay is kind of a goofy one. Iâve included it as an example because I want to show you that itâs okay for your college essay to have some personality! Your college essay doesnât have to be a big, serious rumination on some deep topic. Especially if youâre a goofy person yourself, itâs completely okay for you to choose a more light-hearted topic that showcases your personality. If you do, just be sure to follow this writerâs lead and still write an essay that showcases your strengths.
- Topic choice and personal voice: When we read this essay, we get a crystal clear picture of who the student is because the topic allows them to really write in their own voice. I feel like I know the student after reading it.
- Strengths: All college essays should communicate a core strength to the reader. This essay does an exceptional job at transforming something most people would consider a weaknessâbeing clumsyâinto clear strengthsâempathy, humor, friendship, patience. Overall, we see that the writer
- Writing style: The biggest tweak this writer could make would be leveling up the writing style. As it is now, it reads like a five-paragraph essay: first I did this, then this, and then this third thing. Changing up the organization and topic sentences could help the writing come across as more mature.
College Essay Example #11: Counting Cards
I am a psychic who thinks in terms of fours and threes(( This hook raises a lot of questions: What is the writer referring to? It does read, however, as a bit disingenuous and overly quirky.)) . Deal me any hand of Gin, and I can guarantee Iâll have you beat. I stare at the cards in my hand and see numbers moving in my mind. Like a mathemetician at a chalkboard, I plan out my next move. I use logic, memory, and a little bit of luck to guess exactly what your hand looks like. The possible combinations seem endlessâfour Kings and a run of three, three nines and four Queens, a run of four and three sevens, and many, many more. What I love most about playing Gin is the predictability. While I may not know whatâs coming, I can use what I already know to strategize, adapt, and have fun along the way(( Here we have a clear gesture toward the essayâs overall theme.)) .
My Gin career began as a small child. My aunt taught me how to play the game while we were camping. My hands were so small that we had to use a chip clip to keep the cards in place(( These first three sentences are very choppy because they all have the same length and structure.)) . I was at first intimated by the âbig kid game,â as I called it then, but soon I couldnât get enough. I forced my entire family to play, and I even roped in the kids at the campsite next to us. My aunt, a mathematician, is a skilled Gin player. She passed her tips and tricks along to me. After a few years of playing, she was the only opponent I couldnât beat.
Last summer was the first time it finally happened. I bested her. I had a hand with three Aces and a run of Spades. I needed another Ace or a three or seven of Spades. When I drew that final Ace from the deck, I could hardly believe it. I paused to count my cards again(( This description paints a wonderful picture of the writer, their aunt, and the relationship between them.)) . I drew my hands to my chest, looked up at my aunt slowly and triumphantly, and calmly declared, âGin.â My aunt squealed and embraced me, proud of all the progress her protegee had made.
This win came from a year of hard work(( This is an effective transition that allows the writer to talk about all the work they put in.)) . I read every book on Gin I could find at the library, watched countless YouTube videos, and became an expert on Ginâs more lively counterpart, Gin Rummy. Learning and practicing drew me into a huge online community of Gin enthusiasts. I never thought that Iâd meet some of my best friends through a card game, but I did. Every night, weâd compete against each other. And with each match, my skills would sharpen like a knife on a honing steel. When I finally beat my aunt, I hadnât just won the game. Iâd won lifelong friends and greater reasoning skills(( And here is a bit of reflection sprinkled in at the end. There definitely could be more reflection throughout.)) .
Gin players arenât internationally recognized for their intellectual prowess like chess or Scrabble. Iâve learned other games and played them successfully, but nothing has come close to the joy and challenge I feel while playing Gin. I love predicting what your opponent holds and what youâll draw next, betting on your perfect card being in the draw deck, chatting with your opponent as you deal the next round, and earning bragging rights after winning a matchâall of it is the perfect mix of strategy and community. When I head off to college in the fall, the first thing Iâll pack will be a deck of cards(( This is a sweet ending that looks forward to the future. The conclusion could have touched more specifically on why all of this is so meaningful to the writer.)) .
Word Count: 549
Admissions Officer Notes on Counting Cards
This essay chronicles a writerâs journey learning how to play the card game Gin. I really like how much the writer and their personality shine through. Like the My Greatest Talent essay, Counting Cards is a great example of how to write a fun, light-hearted essay that still speaks to your strengths.
- Topic: Admissions officers see lots of essays about chess and sports. But itâs pretty rare to see one about Gin. The topic (and enthusiasm with which the student writes about the topic) give this essay a good personal voice.
- Connections: The writer also makes stellar connections between a simple game and the people who are most meaningful to them: their family and friends.
- Strengths: Even with a topic as simple as a card game, the writer manages to highlight their strengths of work ethic and camaraderie.
- Higher stakes: We see that the game of Gin is really important to the writer. We also see how the game is connected to their relationship with their aunt and to the new community they found online. But Iâm left wanting a little bit more reflection and vulnerability about why Gin is so meaningful to this writer.
College Essay Example #12: Golden Hills Animal Clinic
On my best days at work, Iâm surrounded by puppies, kittens, and rainbows(( This hook is interesting, but it's quite cliche.)) . On my worst, I watch people say tearful goodbyes to their best friends. Working at the front desk of Golden Hills Animal Clinic, Iâve seen it all. Iâve learned a lot about people through their pets. Iâve also learned a lot about myself(( Here, we get straight to the point of what this essay is going to be about.)) .
I began working in the clinic two summers ago. Iâm known in my family as the â Snow White(( What a sweet detail about this writerâs background)) â because Iâve always had a special connection with animals. I had nearly started a new colony of stray cats in my backyard by the time I was nine. Iâve nursed more sick and injured birds than I can count. Iâve discovered all kinds of insects, snakes, and lizards in my neighborhood. Now, at the front desk, I get to welcome the animals and their humans. I share in their joys and console them at their lows.
After(( This topic sentence does a good job structuring the paragraph, but it could be clearer how this paragraph connects to the overall idea of the essay.)) watching thousands of animals struggle, you think youâd get used to the pain and suffering. But each hurt, injured, or elderly animal I check in stings just the same. When Iâm in the back room helping prepare the animals for surgeries or procedures, I look into their eyes and desperately try to communicate that everything will be okay. The worst part is knowing that the animals can tell something is wrong but donât understand what is happening. And when their owners walk past my front desk, I reassure them that weâre treating their pets as our own.
But with lifeâs hard moments also come the happiest ones. Itâs easy to become dejected by the sad times, but working at the clinic has actually given me more hope(( Ah-ha! We learn that even though the writer witnesses a lot of sadness at the clinic, the experience has actually given them more hope.)) . Thereâs nothing like seeing small puppies, feet too big for their bodies, prance through the waiting room. Iâve witnessed children comfort cats through holes in carriers, and Iâve become inspired by the assertiveness with which our veterinarians make critical decisions to help animals. Through all this, Iâve learned that those little pockets of happiness, care, and determination are what make life worth living(( This sentence helps ground the reader in the writerâs theme.)) .
Iâve also learned that veterinary medicine is as much about the people as it is the pets. Sometimes owners have to be convinced about the best care plan for their pets. Sometimes others arenât able to afford the care they desperately want to get. People come in worried about nothing or not worried enough. Part of managing the front desk is having the ability to read where a person is coming from the moment they start speaking. Seeing things from customersâ perspectives helps me provide better customer service to the people and the pets. If I sense that a customer is worried about cost, I can talk to them about payment plans. If someone seems overwhelmed by the options, I ask if theyâd like to speak with the vet again. In all these cases, I feel proud to provide as much help as I can. Doing so makes sure that our animals receive the best care possible(( We get a good sense of the writerâs strengths in this paragraph, but by the end, it still doesnât really connect back to the theme.)) .
Now, as an aspiring veterinarian myself(( And with this small note, we learn all thatâs at stake: the writer wants to be a vet in the future, so all of these experiences are important preparation .)) , I know that the rest of my career will be filled with the happiest and saddest moments of peopleâs lives. My care for animals will turn tragedies into miracles. Iâll console owners of sick pets, and Iâll help bring new life into the world. Veterinary medicine is a lot like life in general. You canât have the good without the bad. But Iâve never met a pet owner who wouldnât trade the pain of animal loss for even one fleeting, happy moment with their furry friend. Animals make the world a better place. Like Snow White(( Clever call back to tie the essay together)) , Iâll continue listening to animals so I can make their world a little better too.
Word Count: 615
Admissions Officer Notes on Golden Hills Animal Clinic
This essay tells a good story about this writerâs time working at an animal clinic. What I like about this essay is that the writer doesnât sugar coat things, but they also donât dwell on the sadness that passes through the clinic. They are real about their experiences, and they draw valuable lessons from them. They also show the importance of this story by connecting it to their future goals.
- Strengths: We clearly see the strengths this writer brings to the clinic. They are understanding, patient, and positive. We also clearly see how these strengths will help the writer be a good veterinarian in the future.
- Topic sentences and transitions: Although the paragraphs get unwieldy at times, the writerâs clear topic sentences and transitions help us seamlessly progress through the narrative.
- Being more direct and concise: At times, it feels like the writer rambles instead of making clear, direct points. Rambling can distract the reader from the main point youâre trying to make, so itâs best to stay on track in each paragraph.
- Fewer cliches: Relying on cliches shows immaturity in your writing. Cliches like âpuppies, kittens, and rainbowsâ and âwith the bad comes the goodâ get in the way of the writerâs own voice.
College Essay Example #13: The Filmmaker
Eye to the lens, I feel in complete control. The old camera weighs heavy in my hands as I quietly point my leading actor to the other side of the frame. Taking a moment to look at the world through my own eyes rather than a lens, I make a decision. I back up, careful not to trip, and capture the wide, panning shot I had envisioned. Filmmaking allows me to show others exactly how I see the world. With an odd angle or lingering aside, I can take my audience on a journey through my eyes(( This introduction raises a lot of questions that propel us forward through the essay: what is the writer doing? What is it that they want to show the world? Why does this all matter?)) .
Whatâs beautiful about filmmaking is that there are several art forms occurring simultaneously(( We begin with a paragraph that dives deep into the writerâs interest.)) . At the foundation of a scene is the script. Words that draw a viewer in and keep them there, the script is an essential act of creative writing. Next thereâs the acting. An art of performance, acting brings the script to life. A good actor will make an audience feel as if they are with the characters, feeling what they feel and doing what they do. Then thereâs the direction and filmmaking. Choices about how to translate a three-dimensional world to pixels on a screen drastically affect the audienceâs experience. And, finally, thereâs the editing. Editing is where all of the other art forms converge, selected and chopped up and stitched back together to create something even better than the original.
Iâve never been one for writing or acting. But the latter two, filmmaking and editing, are where my passions lie(( And here we learn about the writerâs main passion, inspirations, and journey as a filmmaker.)) . Inspired by my favorite movie, ET , I began filmmaking in elementary school. Borrowing my momâs Flip UltraHD camera, Iâd run around my home, filming everything in sight. Soon after, I started gathering my neighborhood friends in my backyard and directing them in made-up film productions. Our films took us on journeys around the world. We were pirates in the Atlantic, merchants in Paris, and kangaroos in Australia. We learned how to tell stories and create and resolve conflicts. In the process, we learned about ourselves, each other, and the world around us.
My love for editing didnât come until later(( This is an okay topic sentence that helps us understand where weâre at in the narrative, but the paragraph as a whole could more clearly relate to the writerâs overall theme.)) . When my family upgraded our ancient Gateway 2000 to a sleek iMac, I became an iMovie aficionado. I learned how to use all the features and enter in keyboard shortcuts. I became a sculptor. Instead of clay, my material was digital. Iâd split clips in half, manually zoom in to my subject, and add filters that changed the whole tone of a shot. Shift + Command + F, and Iâd play my clips in full screen, evaluating them with the eye of a film critic. Was my shot effective? Are the actors convincing? Is there anything odd in the background? If I had never seen this, what would I think and feel? Then Iâd repeat the process, over and over again.
Some people might say that dedicating myself to filmmaking is frivolous in a world with more pressing problems. But filmmaking is a way to spread messages and give people hope. From the change wrought by An Inconvenient Truth to the laughter Mr. Bean has incited in millions, filmmaking is a way to bring art, truth, and laughter to everyone. More accessible than books or newspapers, film and TV couldnât be more essential media to confront the problems of today. With the passion of my ten-year-old self, the films Iâll continue to make will have an impact(( We conclude by learning about the writerâs interest in using filmmaking to impact the world. The writer could dig a little deeper hereâit stays mainly on the surface.)) .
Word Count: 563
Admissions Officer Notes on The Filmmaker
In this essay, we get a great sense of how excited the writer is about filmmaking. They take us on their journey learning about filmmaking, and they explain how their interest will serve them in the future. I especially enjoy how this essay oozes passion. By the end of the essay, we have no doubt about what this writer sees as their lifeâs calling.
- Organization: The introduction , background, explanation, and discussion of personal growth all cohere perfectly. The writer walks us through each step of their journey in a clear and logical way.
- Voice: Through all the rich descriptions of the writerâs childhood, we really see their personality and voice.
- Significance and meaning : While itâs clear that this topic is one the writer is passionate about, the essay could evoke more meaning. Itâs not apparent whatâs truly at stake. The writer should ask and answer the question: âSo what?â In answering that question, theyâll be able to be more vulnerable throughout the essay.
âBadâ College Essay Examples
âBadâ is in quotation marks here because writing is always relative.
In the case of these examples, we have categorized them as âbadâ because they donât adequately meet the expectations of a college essay. That doesnât mean that theyâre objectively bad or that their writers are bad writers. It means that the essays need some more attention.
âBadâ essays can always become good essays. Sometimes they can even become the best essays. What matters most is identifying whatâs not working and putting in a lot of effort to address the problems.
Across the thousands of college essays we read as admissions officers, there are several issues that arise again and again. Learning from these issues can help you avoid them.
We have a whole post about those biggest college essay mistakes. But the following examples commit three different writing faux pas:
- Too much metaphor and not enough substance
- No main point or clear organization
- About a topic that is important to the writer but not actually that high-stakes
With these mistakes in mind, letâs do some analysis.
College Essay Example #14: Lost in the Forest
I look into the forest, moss wet on my feet(( This is an intriguing hook.)) . Thereâs fog everywhereâI can barely see the glasses that sit on my nose. I feel a cool breeze rustle against my coat. I am cold and warm all at once. The sun shines through the fog, casting the shadow of a tree whose roots know no end. At the entrance to the forest, I stand frozen in time and space. I canât see whatâs ahead of me or behind me, only what is(( After this sentence, the metaphor becomes unclear.)) . And what is suddenly transforms into what could be. I see a fork in the pathway in front of me. The noiseâthe noise is so loud. Crickets and owls and tigers, oh my(( Avoid cliche phrases.)) . My thoughts scream even louder. I canât hear myself think through the sounds of the forest of my mind. Off in the distance, I see a figure. Itâs a shadow figure. Itâs my mother. Sheâs walking towards me. I take a step into the forest, fearlessly ready to confront any overwhelming obstacle that comes my way(( This is a nice sentence that encapsulates the main theme of the essay.)) .
When I was a child, I used to play in the forest behind my house. Until one day when I caught my mom sneaking a cigarette outside. She tried to hide it behind her back, but I could see the smoke trailing over her head like a snail. I didnât know what to do, so I ran farther into the forest. I am used to being disappointed by her. I ran and ran and ran until I tripped over a tree branch that fell in the storm the week before. I laid on the cold, hard ground. The back of me was soaked. Would I turn into my mom? After that, I decided to turn back. The cold was encroaching. I got home and saw my mom in the kitchen. We agreed not to speak of what I saw(( This paragraph could use some more details about whatâs at stake: why does all of this matter? As readers, we need more information about the writerâs relationship with their mom to understand why this confrontation was so significant.)) .
While taking a history test, I looked around at my classmates. The gray desk was cold against my skin. I started counting the people around me, noting those who I knew well and those I had never really talked to. I looked at all the expensive backpacks and shoes. After our test, I asked the person next to me how she thought she did. She said it was a difficult test, and I agreed. Every class period, weâd talk more and more. We became friends. We started hanging out with another friend from biology class. We were inseparable, like three peas in a pod. Weâd study together and hang out together and dance. They were the best friends I ever had. We liked to play soccer after school and sing loudly to music in my room. But one day it all stopped. They both stopped talking to me((It's not clear how this anecdote relates to the anecdote about the writerâs mother. The significance of the forest metaphor could also be drawn out more.)) . It was like I had been yanked out of the forest and thrown on to the forest floor. I became moss, the owls pecking at my spikey green tendrils. They found two other friends, and I sat alone at my desk in history again. It was like another test, but this time a history of my own.
Things went on like this for years. Over and over again I got put back into the forest. My friends who I thought were my friends actually were just drama machines. Life is foggy when you donât know whatâs going on. And I live in a forest thatâs always foggy. Try as I might to find myself, itâs easy to get lost in all the trails and hills. Iâm climbing a mountain each and every day. But I keep going back into the forest, looking for answers(( The return to the metaphor almost works here. But because the metaphor has gotten in the way of the main point, we need more explicit reflection to tie everything together.)) .
Word Count: 603
Admissions Officer Notes on Lost in the Forest
So. Writers know that college essays should be meaningful reflections and exercises in creative writing. But sometimes writers take this advice to the extreme and write essays that are too metaphorical and too focused on internal reflection.
This essay is the perfect example of what happens when a writer goes over the top with metaphor. The forest metaphor could be a useful tool given the writerâs topic, but as it is now, everything else gets lost within the metaphor. Itâs difficult to extract what the writer actually says about their life.
The writerâs reflection is also deep and removed from specific examples. After reading the essay, I still donât feel like I know the writer. The topic also changes halfway through the essay, so following the thread throughout is challenging.
What this essay does well:
- Topic: Even though the writerâs topic switches in the middle of the essay, itâs clear that the topics are both meaningful to the writer. The first topic especially may still be grounds for a great college essay.
- Vulnerability: The writerâs vulnerability shines through. They are willing to share an important part of themselves.
What the writer could improve upon:
- Pick a main topic and stick with it: Part of what makes this essay challenging to follow is that itâs doing too many things at once. Narrowing the topic would help the writer focus all their thoughts on communicating one overall idea.
- Use the metaphor sparingly: Remember that metaphors are best when used sparingly. Pulling off an overarching metaphor is very difficult, so itâs generally easier for writers to sprinkle in small references to the metaphor throughout. A great way to accomplish this is the âbookend technique,â where you introduce a metaphor in the introduction and return to it in the conclusion.
- Tighten up each paragraph : All of the paragraphs in this essay have a lot of information that doesnât necessarily flow logically from one sentence to the next. My final recommendation would be to edit the paragraphs themselves for clarity. The writer should think about what information is essential and cut the rest.
College Essay Example #15: The Chemist
You(( There are always different opinions about addressing your reader. Sometimes it can work okay, but this instance doesn't work quite as well.)). may be wondering why Iâve taken so many chemistry classes. Well, thatâs because I love chemistry. I used to hate chemistry with a fiery passion but now I love it more than anything. I remember that I used to struggle through every single chemistry assignment I ever got. My sister would try to help me but Iâd just get upset, like I really just didnât understand it and that was so frustrating so I just kept not wanting to do more but eventually I started to think âoh chemistry is at the foundation of everything that makes up our universe,â and isnât that just fascinating?(( Whewâthat was a long sentence! This is a run-on sentence, but we do learn about the writerâs primary motivation for studying chemistry.)) So then I decided to make a change and actually try to learn chemistry. I started paying attention in class and asking my teacher for help after class and finally one day my sister said, âWow, youâre really improving.â And that meant so much to me. When my great-grandparents immigrated to the United States(( This reference is nice, but it's an abrupt topic change. Itâs not clear why the writer is bringing up their great-grandparents.)) , they had no idea what would be in store for their great-grandkids. We really donât learn chemistry in school until high school, so itâs no wonder I didnât understand it in high school when I started taking it. Electrons and atoms and acids and alcohols. Thereâs so much to learn. I really have never been good at math so Iâd say thatâs one of my biggest challenges in chemistry now is learning how to do the equations and figuring out how the math works. In fifth grade I used to be in advanced math but then it just got worse from there until I learned about tutoring. I started doing tutoring through the high school when I was in ninth grade and it helped a lot because I just needed a little more help for each lesson to really understand it. But even with that the math part of chemistry is still hard for me. But I always keep trying! Thatâs the most important thing to me I think is to keep trying(( This is a good statement of values.)) . Even when problems are hard and I canât solve them I try to have a good attitude because even if I canât get it right, doing chemistry is about unlocking the secrets of the universe and that really is interesting even if you canât completely understand them. When I started taking chemistry in my sophomore year I almost gave up but I was also really inspired by my teacher who guided me through everything. She gave me extra time to do my lab work and was even my lab partner a couple times because our class has an uneven number of students. My favorite part of chemistry lab is mixing solutions and testing them. I donât like the lab report writing so much but I know itâs an important part. So I try to just get through that so I can get back to doing experiments and such. My favorite experiments was about building a calormieter to measure how many calories is in our food(( Pay attention to small errors and typos like this one.)) . Calories are energy so you burn your food to measure how much energy they have. Then you write up a report about how many calories each food item like bananas, bread, a cookie, had. The best part of doing labs is having your lab partner there with you. Youâre both wearing goggles and lab coats and gloves and you feel really like a professional chemist and itâs nice that youâre not doing it alone. You just read the lab instructions and do each of the steps in order. Itâs like baking a cake! You just follow the recipe. But you donât eat the results! You might use beakers or bunsen burners to hold liquid or burn or heat up whatever it is youâre experimenting on. And when I say âfind the meaning of the universeâ I really mean it(( The writer is trying to return to a bigger reflection here, but the transition needs to be much smoother.)) . Itâs amazing how much chemistry is in everything. Cooking is doing chemistry because youâre changing up the properties of the food. The air we breathe, the way plants get energy, the medicines we take, we understand it all because of chemistry. I know that becoming a chemist is hard work and isnât easy. But I know that itâs rewarding and thatâs why I want to do it. Helping people is so important to me and I think that chemistry can help me get there(( Here, we also learn about the writerâs values and motivations.)) . I also like the health and beauty industry and I think it would be fun to get to develop new products or perfumes or medicines.
Word Count: 746
Admissions Officer Notes on The Chemist
Thereâs no easy way to say it, but this essay just doesnât meet the mark. Thatâs why it gets an F. It reads like a free write rather than an essay because it is stream-of-consciousness and doesnât really make a clear point. I learn that the writer loves chemistry, but the overall message is not clear.
- Ideas : All hope is not lost! Once we dig into what each sentence of the essay is saying, there are some good ideas that the writer can turn into a more cohesive topic.
- Organization: I hesitate to make any extreme claims about college essays, but I feel pretty confident in saying that the vast majority of college essays should always be more than one paragraph. You need paragraphs to break up your thoughts into digestible chunks. Each paragraph should contain a single point youâre trying to convey to the reader. This writer should break all these ideas up into several paragraphs.
- Theme: We see that the topic of the essay is chemistry, that chemistry is interesting because itâs the foundation of everything, and that chemistry can help people. But we donât really get any deeper meaning from the writer. They havenât made an attempt to be vulnerable or to show us something significant about themself.
- Length: The essay is almost a hundred words over the word count. The writer needs to pare things down as they organize and clarify their ideas.
Supplemental Essay Examples
In addition to your personal statement, many colleges will also have you write what are called âsupplemental essays.â
These essays do exactly as the name implies: they supplement your personal statement. Theyâre the perfect opportunity for you to tell admissions officers even more about yourself beyond the information you put in your personal statement. Specifically, ou can use them strategically to highlight even more of your strengths.
There are no universal supplemental essay prompts like there are for the Common Application personal statement.
Instead, colleges provide their own supplemental essay prompt(s) as part of their applications.
The good news, however, is that these prompts generally fall into a few common categories: Why Us, Community, Personal Challenge, Extracurricular Activities, Academic Interest, Diversity, and Why this Major prompts.
If you want to learn more about what these prompts entail, or about how to even write a supplemental essay in the first place, check out our complete guide to writing supplemental essays (itâs really good).
For now, letâs take a look at standout example essays for four of the most common supplemental prompt types.
Community Essay: The DIY-ers
Prompt from MIT: Describe the world you come from (for example, your family, school, community, city, or town). How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?
225 words or fewer"
I come from a family of do-it-yourselfers(( Straightforward but attention-grabbing. Nice!)) . In part, this lifestyle is one of necessity. Hiring professionals isnât cheap, after all. But our DIY proclivities are also a product of a longstanding family tradition of ingenuity.
My first DIY was a fix on my Cozy Coupe, whose steering wheel had fallen off. Since then, my DIYs have become larger scale. With my dad, Iâve replaced loose bike chains, put in a new car clutch, and re-tiled our kitchen.
But our biggest DIY to date has been building a six-foot telescope(( Great topic choice that connects to the writerâs academic interests)) together. Made of scraps and spare parts, itâs not the most beautiful telescope. But our focus is on the stars anyway. My entire family has evening picnics, taking turns to look through the makeshift eyepiece. Occasionally the eyepiece falls off, and we all laugh(( I love the personality that emerges with this detail.)) as I run over to replace it.
Coming from a DIY family has made me self-reliant. And when the fixes just arenât working, my dad reminds me to take a step back and think creatively about solutions. Itâs from this mindset that my dream of being an environmental engineer has evolved(( The writer could get to this point sooner.)) .
I know that engineering isnât just about fancy gadgets. Itâs about ingenuity. I want to adapt my DIY ingenuity, mind and hand(( A cheeky nod to the schoolâs mottoâinteresting!)) , to even bigger projects that mitigate climate change and lead to a safer tomorrow(( I also like this gesture to the broader significance of their dreams and aspirations.)) .
Word Count: 220
Admissions Officer Notes
- Topic: The writer has chosen a pretty interesting topic for this community essay that will most likely stand out among other candidates. More importantly, the community theyâve chosen to write about is one that they hold dear and have learned a lot from. The story connects in specific ways to who they are as a person and what their dreams and aspirations have come to be.
- Growth: The prompt asks how the community has âshapedâ your dreams and aspirations. This writer focuses on the progression of their aspirations while telling endearing stories about their relationship with their family members.
- Future goals: The writer explicitly states how this community has shaped how and what they want to do in the future.
What it could improve on:
- Pacing: Aside from describing your community, the main question of the prompt is how that community has shaped your dreams and aspirations. While the writer does get to an answer, they could spend more time in the essay focusing on that answer.
Diversity Essay: Bumpass
Prompt from Duke: We seek a diverse student body that embodies the wide range of human experience. In that context, we are interested in what youâd like to share about your lived experiences and how theyâve influenced how you think of yourself.
There((A great, interesting hook that also jumps into a connection with Duke.)) are more traffic lights on the Duke University campus than there are in my entire hometown.
I donât actually know how many traffic lights Duke has, but itâs a pretty safe bet that it has more than zero, which is how many we have here in Bumpass, Virginia.
Yes, Bumpass. Pronounced âbump-usâ.
Iâm from a weird little lake town in central Virginia((This paragraph gives us a clear picture of the writer's lived experiences.)) that has two types of residents: part-timers (thatâs what we call them), mostly from DC, Richmond, or Charlottesville, with million-plus dollar homes on Lake Anna. They swim and boat on the private side of the lake, which is heated (yes, the lake is heated) by a nuclear power plant. And then there are families like mine. The locals. Iâve always thought âworking classâ was a nice way for rich people to call poor people poor, but thatâs what we are. Families like mine clean the power plant. Iâve never swam in the private side, and our boat is a canoe.
Officially((And this paragraph gives us a good sense of how those lived experiences have influenced them.)) , Iâve had a job since my 16th birthday, which is the legal age in Virginia. But Iâve worked cleaning rental homes and fixing boats for part-timers with my uncle since I was old enough to use a Swiffer and turn a wrench. Iâve cleaned homes that cost more than my extended familyâs combined net worth, but oddly I enjoy it. When I see inside their homes, I have something to aspire to, and thatâs more than most of my hometown peers can say.
Success around here means making it through community college. Doing so in two years all without abusing alcohol or drugs? I donât know many people who have done that. But I want to bring my Bumpass experience to Duke.((Nice job bringing the story back to the connection with Duke.)) I know how to rise before the sun and get a dayâs worth of work in before noon. I know how to talk to goat farmers and postal workers (my best friendâs parents) just as well as neurosurgeons and pilots (my favorite part-timers whose docks I maintain in the off-season).
Iâm looking forward to learning from the diverse body at Duke, making friends from around the world, and gaining a better understanding of the world beyond Bumpass((This conclusion ties the essay together nicely and communicates good school fit.)) .
- Humor and personality: From the topic of the townâs name to the introduction, the writer uses humor (when appropriate) and clearly shows their own voice. They take an authentic approach to the diversity essay prompt. I feel like I know the student after reading this, which is always good.
- School Connections: While there arenât a ton of references to Duke here, the prompt doesnât necessarily ask for them. The writer still does a good job connecting their lived experience to how they see themself at Duke.
Personal Challenge Essay: Tutoring Charlotte
Prompt from Brown: Brownâs culture fosters a community in which students challenge the ideas of others and have their ideas challenged in return, promoting a deeper and clearer understanding of the complex issues confronting society. This active engagement in dialogue is as present outside the classroom as it is in academic spaces. Tell us about a time you were challenged by a perspective that differed from your own. How did you respond? (200-250 words)
Asking Charlotte to answer a math question was like asking a cat to take a bath. Her resistance was almost instinctual. When I first met her, I had been doing after-school tutoring for about six months. The program paired up high school students with middle schoolers who were falling behind in their classes. Charlotte was my first student and biggest challenge(( Nice wording to make it abundantly clear that the writer is answering the prompt)) .
At first, her unwillingness to try came across as lazy(( This sentence gets at what the prompt is asking for: âa perspective that differed from your ownâ)) . I used everything I had in my tutoring arsenal. I encouraged her to give her confidence, and I even brought candy to bribe her. To my dismay, nothing worked. Each time I introduced a new problem, Charlotte simply refused.
My frustration grew so immense that I caught myself being curt with her. When I saw the look of betrayal in her eyes, I was ashamed at my impatience(( Here we have an inciting incident and growth that resulted from a realization. The writer begins to address the âhow did you respond?â part of the prompt.)) . I realized that Charlotteâs struggles werenât her fault. Math has always come easy to me. Whereas every math problem I encounter is like a code Iâm excited to crack, Charlotte sees math problems as threats. After years of struggling, itâs no wonder that she stopped trying.
Once I understood that we approach math from different perspectives, I tried something new. I got rid of the math book and graph paper, and I brought out gummy bears. We did an algebra problem without her even knowing it. Together(( The writer zooms the focus out to a larger reflection about what they learned from this interaction. Nice.)) , we worked to overcome her fear of math. Along the way, I learned to teach the person, not the subject matter.
World Count: 247
- Topic choice: Personal Challenge prompts can be some of the most difficult, especially if you donât have a specific challenge youâve faced in your life. This writerâs topic choice works great. They show that you donât have to have a life-altering challenge to answer this prompt well.
- Clear narrative: This prompt is a lengthy one, but the writer has clearly read it and used it to structure the story. As a reader, itâs easy to follow along as the writer identifies the problem, works toward a solution, overcomes hurdles, and eventually comes out successful in the end.
- Connections: Different prompts require different levels of connections to the school. This writer incorporates some of Brownâs institutional values, but, especially since the prompt says so much about Brownâs community, the writer could have made more effort to connect their story to Brown.
Extracurricular Essay: Working Retail
Prompt from Vanderbilt: Vanderbilt offers a community where students find balance between their academic and social experiences. Please briefly elaborate on how one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences has influenced you.
â Would(( Beginning any essay with dialog can be hit or miss. But this is a hit. The dialog quickly captures the essence of working in retail and plops the reader directly into the writerâs extracurricular activity.)) you like another size? Sure thing, Iâll get a medium.â
âAre you interested in saving 10% today with an Old Navy Card? No, no worriesâŠâ
âI can clean the bathrooms if someone covers the fitting room!â
I didnât expect much from my first job. Mostly, I expected to earn $12 an hour and improve my denim folding skills at Old Navy. I didnât think I could learn so much about people and develop life skills.
As(( This paragraph could be a little more specific to the writer rather than their coworkers.)) odd as it may sound, retail work brought people together during COVID. I started in July of 2020. Our store had always met for monthly meetings, but everyone emphasized how much closer theyâd become since the pandemic. Stepping up to cover someoneâs shift when they got sickâor their spouse or child didâused to elicit a quick âthank you!â, but took on a more profound meaning in 2020. Though I started mid-pandemic, everyone I worked with remarked that, with a few notable exceptions, the overall demeanor of the clientele was much more empathetic. My coworkers seemed to go from sales associates to brave workers keeping the economy afloat overnight.
After about seven months of dutiful work, I was promoted(( The writer seamlessly incorporates the information that they earned a promotion after a relatively brief time of working at the store.)) to senior associate and had new responsibilities of closing and opening the store. Sure, I had dreams of working in an infectious disease lab. But having adults put real trust in me to account for several thousand dollars and secure a major outlet made me value and understand work perhaps even more than the research internship I missed out on(( I appreciate the perspective here. The writer makes a good argument for the importance of retail work, especially in relation to their academic interests.)) .
I am thankful for this opportunity to work and learn with a dedicated staff. Now, I look forward to pursuing more experiences that will relate to my career in biotech in college. Oh, and I wonât miss soliciting credit card sales with each purchase(( This humor bookends the essay wonderfully and adds some extra personality.)) !
- Focus on strengths: Maintaining the right focus in extracurricular essays can be tricky. It can be easy to get caught up in the details of the activity and brag too much or not enough. Especially with extracurricular activities that arenât based in competition, it can be challenging to draw out strengths. But this writer finds the perfect way to talk about their accomplishments and strengths (being promoted and being a team player) while also seeming personable and humble.
- Connection to future goals : Importantly, the writer doesnât just leave the story at their retail job. They show the admissions officer how they see this job as contributing toward their future goals.
- Transitions: The transitions between paragraphs and into the detail about a future biotech career could be smoother.
Why this Major: Watchers
Prompt from USC: Describe how you plan to pursue your academic interests and why you want to explore them at USC specifically. Please feel free to address your first- and second-choice major selections. (Approximately 250 words)
As a child(( I like how the writer takes a more creative approach to a standard âwhy this majorâ essay.)) , I always got in trouble for staring. My mom would nudge me whenever I looked at someone too long. My uncontrollable staring was an embarrassment for her, but itâs one of the things I love most about myself. Whereas some people are do-ers, I am a watcher, a listener, and a documenter(( We learn a lot about the writerâs personality here.)) . Like introverts and extroverts, the world needs both kinds of people.
Watchers have an admirable task: to see what exists and give it meaning. Thatâs exactly what I want to do while pursuing my academic interests in anthropology(( And at this point, we jump quickly into the connections between the opening story and the writerâs academic interests. )) . In particular, Iâm interested in learning about art, language, and culture in Russia. Pursuing a research career in anthropology would open up opportunities for me to do research for government offices and move toward my ultimate goal(( Incorporating a future goal that theyâre working towards is an effective approach.)) of working for the United Nations.
As(( This paragraph has a number of specific, detailed, and relevant connections to the school.)) a Visual Anthropology and Russian double major at USC, I would hone my social scientist skills and improve my Russian language abilities. Iâm also eager to participate in a directed internship and to connect with fellow watchers in the Anthropology and Global Studies club. The Center for Visual Anthropology, minor in Folklore and Popular Culture, and the anthropology-focused study abroad opportunity in St. Petersburg all converge to make USC the ideal place for me to learn.
With USCâs global focus and emphasis on creativity, research, and public service, I know that I could develop my watching skills into a successful anthropology career(( And the writer concludes by drawing on some of the institutionâs core values, which helps ground all of those disparate connections into something meaningful that the writer aligns themself with.)) .
- Writing style and storytelling: This essay shows that supplemental essays donât have to be boring. The writer opens with an interesting hook and writes about their major interest in a compelling way.
- School research and connections: The writer does a good job specifically answering the âhow you plan to pursue your academic interests and why you want to explore them at USCâ part of the prompt. Itâs clear that theyâve done their research, and the connections theyâve chosen to focus on make sense in the context of the story theyâve told. They also incorporate school values in addition to simple facts.
- Writing about school connections : To take this essay to the next level, the student could write about the school connections in a slightly more elegant way. As they are now, they feel quite list-like.
Academic Interest: Everyday History
Prompt from Barnard: At Barnard, academic inquiry starts with bold questions. What are some of the bold questions you have pondered that get you excited and why do they interest you? Tell us how you would explore these questions at Barnard. (max 300)
As I walked through the ancient city of Pompeii(( This is a beautiful hook that stops and makes the reader think, too.)) on a family vacation, I thought about the children. I imagined how scared they must have been when the volcano erupted, how they must have reached out to their caregivers for protection. When a large group of people mobbed through the alley next to us, I reached out to my own mother(( With a simple phrase, the writer shows the connection between themself and the people of the past who have captured their attention.)) as an anchor.
What interests me most about history is that the people of the past(( The writer adeptly transitions from a poetic introduction to a straightforward answer to the prompt.)) were just like us. They had likes and dislikes, they became frightened and love-struck and tired. While the history of royalty and great wars captures most peopleâs attention, what I want to study is the history of everyday people.
What(( These questions respond exactly to what the prompt is asking for. )) was it like to be a child in Pompeii? How did prisoners feel on their way to Australia? What kinds of recipes did the Aztecs cook?
I know that with Barnardâs culture of multidisciplinarity, discovery, and creative thinking, Iâd be able to pursue these questions and more(( The writer draws on Barnardâs own values and connects their interests, goals, and questions to specific offerings at Barnard.)) . In classes like Gender and Empire, Iâll learn about the ways European expansion was gendered. And in Children and Childhood in African History or Reproducing Inequalities: Family in Latin American History, Iâll be able to ask questions about the history of the family: How have family structures varied across time and place? What historical role have children played? In what ways have parenting practices changed and why?
While they may seem inconsequential for life today, I believe that answering these questions helps us better understand ourselves. With Barnardâs Building Strong Voices(( And they also reference out-of-the-classroom opportunities.)) mission, Iâll learn how to present my research and advocate for the importance of history.
The world needs more histories of everyday people. We have a lot to learn from them, and Barnardâs offerings will help me lead us to better historical and current understandings(( With this conclusion, itâs clear how Barnard will help the writer accomplish their goals. )) .
Word Count: 299
- Introduction: Academic interest essays are your chance to go all-in. The introduction to this essay does just that. Weâre immediately transported into this writerâs academic interest, and we begin to ask these questions alongside them.
- Answering all parts of the prompt: This can be a tricky feat when responding to complex prompts like Barnardâs. But this writer does just that. They tackle each part of the prompt in order, and they make clear transitions between them.
College Essay Example Takeaways
Whether youâre writing a personal statement or supplemental essay, reading and analyzing college essay examples is an important tool. Good examples can give you insight into the proper form and structure to use. And bad examples can be just as helpful by showing you what not to do.
All admissions officers will approach your college essays from different perspectives. But hopefully the grades and commentsâprovided by our team of former admissions officers and professional writing coachesâhave helped you understand what works, what doesnât work, and why.
As youâve seen, there are so many essays, topics, personalities, approachesâyou can write a college essay about almost anything.
If you want to take your own college essays to the next level, reach out about getting personalized application and essay support .
Frequently Asked Questions
Do admissions officers actually grade college essays, what makes a good college essay, will admissions officers read my essays.
But how closely they read your essays may be determined by other parts of your application, like your academics. We explain how admissions offices process applications in our 50k applications post.
Your essays can be the difference between you getting admitted or denied.
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How to Write a College Essay (Exercises + Examples)
How to Write Supplemental Essays that Will Impress Admissions Officers
9 Outstanding UC Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)
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16 Strong College Essay Examples from Top Schools
Whatâs Covered:
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Most high school students donât get a lot of experience with creative writing, so the college essay can be especially daunting. Reading examples of successful essays, however, can help you understand what admissions officers are looking for.
In this post, weâll share 16 college essay examples of many different topics. Most of the essay prompts fall into 8 different archetypes, and you can approach each prompt under that archetype in a similar way. Weâve grouped these examples by archetype so you can better structure your approach to college essays.
If youâre looking for school-specific guides, check out our 2022-2023 essay breakdowns .
Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isnât genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized.Â
Note: the essays are titled in this post for navigation purposes, but they were not originally titled. We also include the original prompt where possible.
The Common App essay goes to all of the schools on your list, unless those schools use a separate application platform. Because of this, itâs the most important essay in your portfolio, and likely the longest essay youâll need to write (you get up to 650 words).Â
The goal of this essay is to share a glimpse into who you are, what matters to you, and what you hope to achieve. Itâs a chance to share your story.Â
Learn more about how to write the Common App essay in our complete guide.
The Multiple Meanings of Point
Prompt: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 words)
Night had robbed the academy of its daytime colors, yet there was comfort in the dim lights that cast shadows of our advances against the bare studio walls. Silhouettes of roundhouse kicks, spin crescent kicks, uppercuts and the occasional butterfly kick danced while we sparred. She approached me, eyes narrowed with the trace of a smirk challenging me. âReady spar!â Her arm began an upward trajectory targeting my shoulder, a common first move. I sidestepped â only to almost collide with another flying fist. Pivoting my right foot, I snapped my left leg, aiming my heel at her midsection. The center judge raised one finger.Â
There was no time to celebrate, not in the traditional sense at least. Master Pollard gave a brief command greeted with a unanimous âYes, sirâ and the thud of 20 hands dropping-down-and-giving-him-30, while the âwinnersâ celebrated their victory with laps as usual.Â
Three years ago, seven-thirty in the evening meant I was a warrior. It meant standing up straighter, pushing a little harder, âYes, sirâ and âYes, maâamâ, celebrating birthdays by breaking boards, never pointing your toes, and familiarity. Three years later, seven-thirty in the morning meant I was nervous.Â
The room is uncomfortably large. The sprung floor soaks up the checkerboard of sunlight piercing through the colonial windows. The mirrored walls further illuminate the studio and I feel the light scrutinizing my sorry attempts at a pas de bourrĂ©e, while capturing the organic fluidity of the dancers around me. âChassĂ© en croix, grand battement, pique, pirouette.â I follow the graceful limbs of the woman in front of me, her legs floating ribbons, as she executes what seems to be a perfect ronds de jambes. Each movement remains a negotiation. With admirable patience, Ms. Tan casts me a sympathetic glance.  Â
There is no time to wallow in the misery that is my right foot. Taekwondo calls for dorsiflexion; pointed toes are synonymous with broken toes. My thoughts drag me into a flashback of the usual response to this painful mistake: âYou might as well grab a tutu and head to the ballet studio next door.â Well, here I am Master Pollard, unfortunately still following your orders to never point my toes, but no longer feeling the satisfaction that comes with being a third degree black belt with 5 years of experience quite literally under her belt. Itâs like being a white belt again â just in a leotard and ballet slippers.Â
But the appetite for new beginnings that brought me here doesnât falter. It is only reinforced by the classical rendition of âDancing Queenâ that floods the room and the ghost of familiarity that reassures me that this new beginning does not and will not erase the past. After years spent at the top, itâs hard to start over. But surrendering what you are only leads you to what you may become. In Taekwondo, we started each class reciting the tenets: honor, courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self-control, courage, humility, and knowledge, and I have never felt that I embodied those traits more so than when I started ballet.Â
The thing about change is that it eventually stops making things so different. After nine different schools, four different countries, three different continents, fluency in Tamil, Norwegian, and English, there are more blurred lines than there are clear fragments. My life has not been a tactfully executed, gold medal-worthy Taekwondo form with each movement defined, nor has it been a series of frappĂ©s performed by a prima ballerina with each extension identical and precise, but thankfully it has been like the dynamics of a spinning back kick, fluid, and like my chances of landing a pirouette, unpredictable.Â
The first obvious strength of this essay is the introductionâit is interesting and snappy and uses enough technical language that we want to figure out what the student is discussing. When writing introductions, students tend to walk the line between intriguing and confusing. It is important that your essay ends up on the intentionally intriguing side of that lineâlike this student does! We are a little confused at first, but by then introducing the idea of âsparring,â the student grounds their essay.
People often advise young writers to âshow, not tell.â This student takes that advice a step further and makes the reader do a bit of work to figure out what they are telling us. Nowhere in this essay does it say âAfter years of Taekwondo, I made the difficult decision to switch over to ballet.â Rather, the student says âItâs like being a white belt again â just in a leotard and ballet slippers.â How powerful!Â
After a lot of emotional language and imagery, this student finishes off their essay with very valuable (and necessary!) reflection. They show admissions officers that they are more than just a good writerâthey are a mature and self-aware individual who would be beneficial to a college campus. Self-awareness comes through with statements like âsurrendering what you are only leads you to what you may becomeâ and maturity can be seen through the studentâs discussion of values: âhonor, courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self-control, courage, humility, and knowledge, and I have never felt that I embodied those traits more so than when I started ballet.â
Sparking Self-Awareness
Prompt: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (250-650 words)
Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug sprayâI wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire.Â
Furiously I rubbed the twigs togetherârubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teethâold, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family.Â
Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt.Â
âWhereâs the fire, Princess Clara?â they taunted. âHaving some trouble?â They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame.Â
In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since Iâd kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, Iâd practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musicianâfleshy and sensitive. And Iâd gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldnât remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformationâhe disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him.Â
Yet, I realized I hadnât really changedâI had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. Iâd grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses.Â
That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumpedâit helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldnât start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smokedâmy hands burned from all that scrawlingâand even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparkingâI was on fire, always on fire.
First things first, this Common App essay is well-written. This student is definitely showing the admissions officers her ability to articulate her points beautifully and creatively. It starts with vivid images like that of the ârustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free.â And because the prose is flowery (and beautiful!), the writer can get away with metaphors like âI knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palmsâ that might sound cheesy without the clear command of the English language that the writer quickly establishes.
In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction âFire!â and ends with the following image: âWhen the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smokedâmy hands burned from all that scrawlingâand even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparkingâI was on fire, always on fire.â This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.
While dialogue often comes off as cliche or trite, this student effectively incorporates her family members saying âWhereâs the fire, Princess Clara?â This is achieved through the apt use of the verb âtauntedâ to characterize the questioning and through the questionâs thematic connection to the earlier image of the student as a rustic princess. Similarly, rhetorical questions can feel randomly placed in essays, but this studentâs inclusion of the questions âWas I so dainty?â and âWas I that incapable?â feel perfectly justified after she establishes that she was pondering her failure.
Quite simply, this essay shows how quality writing can make a simple story outstandingly compelling.Â
Why This College?
âWhy This College?â is one of the most common essay prompts, likely because schools want to understand whether youâd be a good fit and how youâd use their resources.
This essay is one of the more straightforward ones youâll write for college applications, but you still can and should allow your voice to shine through.
Learn more about how to write the âWhy This College?â essay in our guide.
Prompt: How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania? Please answer this question given the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying (650 words).
Sister Simone Roach, a theorist of nursing ethics, said, âcaring is the human mode of being.â I have long been inspired by Sister Roachâs Five Câs of Caring: commitment, conscience, competence, compassion, and confidence. Penn both embraces and fosters these values through a rigorous, interdisciplinary curriculum and unmatched access to service and volunteer opportunities.
COMMITMENT. Reading through the activities that Penn Quakers devote their time to (in addition to academics!) felt like drinking from a firehose in the best possible way. As a prospective nursing student with interests outside of my major, I value this level of flexibility. I plan to leverage Pennâs liberal arts curriculum to gain an in-depth understanding of the challenges LGBT people face, especially regarding healthcare access. Through courses like âInteractional Processes with LGBT Individualsâ and volunteering at the Mazzoni Center for outreach, I hope to learn how to better support the Penn LGBT community as well as my family and friends, including my cousin, who came out as trans last year.
CONSCIENCE. As one of the first people in my family to attend a four-year university, I wanted a school that promoted a sense of moral responsibility among its students. At Penn, professors challenge their students to question and recreate their own set of morals by sparking thought- provoking, open-minded discussions. I can imagine myself advocating for universal healthcare in courses such as âHealth Care Reform & Future of American Health Systemâ and debating its merits with my peers. Studying in an environment where students confidently voice their opinions â conservative or liberal â will push me to question and strengthen my value system.
COMPETENCE. Two aspects that drew my attention to Pennâs BSN program were its high-quality research opportunities and hands-on nursing projects. Through its Office of Nursing Research, Penn connects students to faculty members who share similar research interests. As I volunteered at a nursing home in high school, I hope to work with Dr. Carthon to improve the quality of care for senior citizens. Seniors, especially minorities, face serious barriers to healthcare that I want to resolve. Additionally, Pennâs unique use of simulations to bridge the gap between classroom learning and real-world application impressed me. Using computerized manikins that mimic human responses, classes in Pennâs nursing program allow students to apply their emergency medical skills in a mass casualty simulation and monitor their actions afterward through a video system. Participating in this activity will help me identify my strengths and areas for improvement regarding crisis management and medical care in a controlled yet realistic setting. Research opportunities and simulations will develop my skills even before I interact with patients.
COMPASSION. I value giving back through community service, and I have a particular interest in Pennâs Community Champions and Nursing Students For Sexual & Reproductive Health (NSRH). As a four-year volunteer health educator, I hope to continue this work as a Community Champions member. I am excited to collaborate with medical students to teach fourth and fifth graders in the city about cardiology or lead a chair dance class for the elders at the LIFE Center. Furthermore, as a feminist who firmly believes in womenâs abortion rights, Iâd like to join NSRH in order to advocate for womenâs health on campus. At Penn, I can work with like-minded people to make a meaningful difference.
CONFIDENCE. All of the Quakers that I have met possess one defining trait: confidence. Each student summarized their experiences at Penn as challenging but fulfilling. Although I expect my coursework to push me, from my conversations with current Quakers I know it will help me to be far more effective in my career.
The Five Câs of Caring are important heuristics for nursing, but they also provide insight into how I want to approach my time in college. I am eager to engage with these principles both as a nurse and as a Penn Quaker, and I canât wait to start.
This prompt from Penn asks students to tailor their answer to their specific field of study. One great thing that this student does is identify their undergraduate school early, by mentioning âSister Simone Roach, a theorist of nursing ethics.â You donât want readers confused or searching through other parts of your application to figure out your major.
With a longer essay like this, it is important to establish structure. Some students organize their essay in a narrative form, using an anecdote from their past or predicting their future at a school. This student uses Roachâs 5 Câs of Caring as a framing device that organizes their essay around values. This works well!
While this essay occasionally loses voice, there are distinct moments where the studentâs personality shines through. We see this with phrases like âfelt like drinking from a fire hose in the best possible wayâ and âAll of the Quakers that I have met possess one defining trait: confidence.â It is important to show off your personality to make your essay stand out.Â
Finally, this student does a great job of referencing specific resources about Penn. Itâs clear that they have done their research (theyâve even talked to current Quakers). They have dreams and ambitions that can only exist at Penn.
Prompt: What is it about Yale that has led you to apply? (125 words or fewer)
Coin collector and swimmer. Hungarian and Romanian. Critical and creative thinker. I was drawn to Yale because they donât limit oneâs mind with âorâ but rather embrace unison with âand.âÂ
Wandering through the Beinecke Library, I prepare for my multidisciplinary Energy Studies capstone about the correlation between hedonism and climate change, making it my goal to find implications in environmental sociology. Under the tutelage of Assistant Professor Arielle Baskin-Sommers, I explore the emotional deficits of depression, utilizing neuroimaging to scrutinize my favorite branch of psychology: human perception. At Walden Peer Counseling, I integrate my peer support and active listening skills to foster an empathetic environment for the Yale community. Combining my interests in psychological and environmental studies is why Iâm proud to be a Bulldog.Â
This answer to the âWhy This Collegeâ question is great because 1) the student shows their excitement about attending Yale 2) we learn the ways in which attending Yale will help them achieve their goals and 3) we learn their interests and identities.
In this response, you can find a prime example of the âImage of the Futureâ approach, as the student flashes forward and envisions their life at Yale, using present tense (âI explore,â âI integrate,â âIâm proudâ). This approach is valuable if you are trying to emphasize your dedication to a specific school. Readers get the feeling that this student is constantly imagining themselves on campusâit feels like Yale really matters to them.
Starting this image with the Beinecke Library is great because the Beinecke Library only exists at Yale. It is important to tailor âWhy This Collegeâ responses to each specific school. This student references a program of study, a professor, and an extracurricular that only exist at Yale. Additionally, they connect these unique resources to their interestsâpsychological and environmental studies.
Finally, we learn about the student (independent of academics) through this response. By the end of their 125 words, we know their hobbies, ethnicities, and social desires, in addition to their academic interests. It can be hard to tackle a 125-word response, but this student shows that itâs possible.
Why This Major?
The goal of this prompt is to understand how you came to be interested in your major and what you plan to do with it. For competitive programs like engineering, this essay helps admissions officers distinguish students who have a genuine passion and are most likely to succeed in the program. This is another more straightforward essay, but you do have a bit more freedom to include relevant anecdotes.
Learn more about how to write the âWhy This Major?â essay in our guide.
Why Duke Engineering
Prompt: If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering as a first year applicant, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke (250 words).
One Christmas morning, when I was nine, I opened a snap circuit set from my grandmother. Although I had always loved math and science, I didnât realize my passion for engineering until I spent the rest of winter break creating different circuits to power various lights, alarms, and sensors. Even after I outgrew the toy, I kept the set in my bedroom at home and knew I wanted to study engineering. Later, in a high school biology class, I learned that engineering didnât only apply to circuits, but also to medical devices that could improve peopleâs quality of life. Biomedical engineering allows me to pursue my academic passions and help people at the same time.
Just as biology and engineering interact in biomedical engineering, I am fascinated by interdisciplinary research in my chosen career path. Duke offers unmatched resources, such as DUhatch and The Foundry, that will enrich my engineering education and help me practice creative problem-solving skills. The emphasis on entrepreneurship within these resources will also help me to make a helpful product. Dukeâs Bass Connections program also interests me; I firmly believe that the most creative and necessary problem-solving comes by bringing people together from different backgrounds. Through this program, I can use my engineering education to solve complicated societal problems such as creating sustainable surgical tools for low-income countries. Along the way, I can learn alongside experts in the field. Dukeâs openness and collaborative culture span across its academic disciplines, making Duke the best place for me to grow both as an engineer and as a social advocate.
This prompt calls for a complex answer. Students must explain both why they want to study engineering and why Duke is the best place for them to study engineering.
This student begins with a nice hookâa simple anecdote about a simple present with profound consequences. They do not fluff up their anecdote with flowery images or emotionally-loaded language; it is what it is, and it is compelling and sweet. As their response continues, they express a particular interest in problem-solving. They position problem-solving as a fundamental part of their interest in engineering (and a fundamental part of their fascination with their childhood toy). This helps readers to learn about the student!
Problem-solving is also the avenue by which they introduce Dukeâs resourcesâDUhatch, The Foundry, and Dukeâs Bass Connections program. It is important to notice that the student explains how these resources can help them achieve their future goalsâit is not enough to simply identify the resources!
This response is interesting and focused. It clearly answers the prompt, and it feels honest and authentic.
Why Georgia Tech CompSci
Prompt: Why do you want to study your chosen major specifically at Georgia Tech? (300 words max)
I held my breath and hit RUN. Yes! A plump white cat jumped out and began to catch the falling pizzas. Although my Fat Cat project seems simple now, it was the beginning of an enthusiastic passion for computer science. Four years and thousands of hours of programming later, that passion has grown into an intense desire to explore how computer science can serve society. Every day, surrounded by technology that can recognize my face and recommend scarily-specific ads, Iâm reminded of Uncle Benâs advice to a young Spiderman: âwith great power comes great responsibilityâ. Likewise, the need to ensure digital equality has skyrocketed with AIâs far-reaching presence in society; and I believe that digital fairness starts with equality in education.
The unique use of threads at the College of Computing perfectly matches my interests in AI and its potential use in education; the path of combined threads on Intelligence and People gives me the rare opportunity to delve deep into both areas. Iâm particularly intrigued by the rich sets of both knowledge-based and data-driven intelligence courses, as I believe AI should not only show correlation of events, but also provide insight for why they occur.
In my four years as an enthusiastic online English tutor, Iâve worked hard to help students overcome both financial and technological obstacles in hopes of bringing quality education to people from diverse backgrounds. For this reason, Iâm extremely excited by the many courses in the People thread that focus on education and human-centered technology. Iâd love to explore how to integrate AI technology into the teaching process to make education more available, affordable, and effective for people everywhere. And with the innumerable opportunities that Georgia Tech has to offer, I know that I will be able to go further here than anywhere else.
With a âWhy This Majorâ essay, you want to avoid using all of your words to tell a story. That being said, stories are a great way to show your personality and make your essay stand out. This studentâs story takes up only their first 21 words, but it positions the student as fun and funny and provides an endearing image of cats and pizzasâwho doesnât love cats and pizzas? There are other moments when the studentâs personality shines through also, like the Spiderman reference.
While this pop culture reference adds color, it also is important for what the student is getting at: their passion. They want to go into computer science to address the issues of security and equity that are on the industryâs mind, and they acknowledge these concerns with their comments about âscarily-specific adsâ and their statement that âthe need to ensure digital equality has skyrocketed.â This student is self-aware and aware of the state of the industry. This aptitude will be appealing for admissions officers.
The conversation around âthreadsâ is essential for this studentâs response because the prompt asks specifically about the major at Georgia Tech and it is the only thing they reference that is specific to Georgia Tech. Threads are great, but this student would have benefitted from expanding on other opportunities specific to Georgia Tech later in the essay, instead of simply inserting âinnumerable opportunities.â
Overall, this student shows personality, passion, and aptitudeâprecisely what admissions officers want to see!
Extracurricular Essay
Youâre asked to describe your activities on the Common App, but chances are, you have at least one extracurricular thatâs impacted you in a way you canât explain in 150 characters.
This essay archetype allows you to share how your most important activity shaped you and how you might use those lessons learned in the future. You are definitely welcome to share anecdotes and use a narrative approach, but remember to include some reflection. A common mistake students make is to only describe the activity without sharing how it impacted them.
Learn more about how to write the Extracurricular Essay in our guide.
A Dedicated Musician
My fingers raced across the keys, rapidly striking one after another. My body swayed with the music as my hands raced across the piano. Crashing onto the final chord, it was over as quickly as it had begun. My shoulders relaxed and I couldnât help but break into a satisfied grin. I had just played the Moonlight Sonataâs third movement, a longtime dream of mine.Â
Four short months ago, though, I had considered it impossible. The pieceâs tempo was impossibly fast, its notes stretching between each end of the piano, forcing me to reach farther than I had ever dared. It was 17 pages of the most fragile and intricate melodies I had ever encountered.Â
But that summer, I found myself ready to take on the challenge. With the end of the school year, I was released from my commitment to practicing for band and solo performances. I was now free to determine my own musical path: either succeed in learning the piece, or let it defeat me for the third summer in a row.Â
Over those few months, I spent countless hours practicing the same notes until they burned a permanent place in my memory, creating a soundtrack for even my dreams. Some would say Iâve mastered the piece, but as a musician I know better. Now that I can play it, I am eager to take the next step and add in layers of musicality and expression to make the once-impossible piece even more beautiful.
In this response, the student uses their extracurricular, piano, as a way to emphasize their positive qualities. At the beginning, readers are invited on a journey with the student where we feel their struggle, their intensity, and ultimately their satisfaction. With this descriptive image, we form a valuable connection with the student.
Then, we get to learn about what makes this student special: their dedication and work ethic. The fact that this student describes their desire to be productive during the summer shows an intensity that is appealing to admissions officers. Additionally, the growth mindset that this student emphasizes in their conclusion is appealing to admissions officers.
The Extracurricular Essay can be seen as an opportunity to characterize yourself. This student clearly identified their positive qualities, then used the Extracurricular Essay as a way to articulate them.
A Complicated Relationship with the School Newspaper
My schoolâs newspaper and I have a typical love-hate relationship; some days I want nothing more than to pass two hours writing and formatting articles, while on others the mere thought of student journalism makes me shiver. Still, as weâre entering our fourth year together, you could consider us relatively stable. Weâve learned to accept each otherâs differences; at this point Iâve become comfortable spending an entire Friday night preparing for an upcoming issue, and I hardly even notice the snail-like speed of our computers. Iâve even benefitted from the polygamous nature of our relationshipâwith twelve other editors, thereâs a lot of cooperation involved. Perverse as it may be, from that teamwork Iâve both gained some of my closest friends and improved my organizational and time-management skills. And though leaving it in the hands of new editors next year will be difficult, I know our time together has only better prepared me for future relationships.
This response is great. Itâs cute and endearing and, importantly, tells readers a lot about the student who wrote it. Framing this essay in the context of a âlove-hate relationship,â then supplementing with comments like âWeâve learned to accept each otherâs differencesâ allows this student to advertise their maturity in a unique and engaging way.Â
While Extracurricular Essays can be a place to show how youâve grown within an activity, they can also be a place to show how youâve grown through an activity. At the end of this essay, readers think that this student is mature and enjoyable, and we think that their experience with the school newspaper helped make them that way.
Participating in Democracy
Prompt: Research shows that an ability to learn from experiences outside the classroom correlates with success in college. What was your greatest learning experience over the past 4 years that took place outside of the traditional classroom? (250 words)Â
The cool, white halls of the Rayburn House office building contrasted with the bustling energy of interns entertaining tourists, staffers rushing to cover committee meetings, and my fellow conference attendees separating to meet with our respective congresspeople. Through civics and US history classes, I had learned about our government, but simply hearing the legislative process outlined didnât prepare me to navigate it. It was my first political conference, and, after learning about congressional mechanics during breakout sessions, I was lobbying my representative about an upcoming vote crucial to the US-Middle East relationship. As the daughter of Iranian immigrants, my whole life had led me to the moment when I could speak on behalf of the family members who had not emigrated with my parents.
As I sat down with my congresswomanâs chief of staff, I truly felt like a participant in democracy; I was exercising my right to be heard as a young American. Through this educational conference, I developed a plan of action to raise my voice. When I returned home, I signed up to volunteer with the state chapter of the Democratic Party. I sponsored letter-writing campaigns, canvassed for local elections, and even pursued an internship with a state senate campaign. I know that I donât need to be old enough to vote to effect change. Most importantly, I also know that I want to study governmentâI want to make a difference for my communities in the United States and the Middle East throughout my career.Â
While this prompt is about extracurricular activities, it specifically references the idea that the extracurricular should support the curricular. It is focused on experiential learning for future career success. This student wants to study government, so they chose to describe an experience of hands-on learning within their fieldâan apt choice!
As this student discusses their extracurricular experience, they also clue readers into their future goalsâthey want to help Middle Eastern communities. Admissions officers love when students mention concrete plans with a solid foundation. Here, the foundation comes from this studentâs ethnicity. With lines like âmy whole life had led me to the moment when I could speak on behalf of the family members who had not emigrated with my parents,â the student assures admissions officers of their emotional connection to their future field.
The strength of this essay comes from its connections. It connects the studentâs extracurricular activity to their studies and connects theirs studies to their personal history.
Overcoming Challenges
Youâre going to face a lot of setbacks in college, so admissions officers want to make youâre you have the resilience and resolve to overcome them. This essay is your chance to be vulnerable and connect to admissions officers on an emotional level.
Learn more about how to write the Overcoming Challenges Essay in our guide.
The Student Becomes the Master
âAdvanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.â Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.
Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.
Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldnât understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.
Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.Â
I first approached the adults in the dojang â both instructors and membersâ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldnât devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.
At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.
Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their childrenâs coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.
Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldnât let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojangâs longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.
Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.
Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.
This essay is great because it has a strong introduction and conclusion. The introduction is notably suspenseful and draws readers into the story. Because we know it is a college essay, we can assume that the student is one of the competitors, but at the same time, this introduction feels intentionally ambiguous as if the writer could be a competitor, a coach, a sibling of a competitor, or anyone else in the situation.
As we continue reading the essay, we learn that the writer is, in fact, the competitor. Readers also learn a lot about the studentâs values as we hear their thoughts: âI knew I couldnât let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was.â Ultimately, the conflict and inner and outer turmoil is resolved through the âSame, but Differentâ ending technique as the student places themself in the same environment that we saw in the intro, but experiencing it differently due to their actions throughout the narrative. This is a very compelling strategy!
Growing Sensitivity to Struggles
Prompt: The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (650 words)
âYou ruined my life!â After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain.
Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.
When my parents learned about The Green Academy, we hoped it would be an opportunity for me to find not only an academically challenging environment, but also â perhaps more importantly â a community. This meant transferring the family from Drumfield to Kingston. And while there was concern about Max, we all believed that given his sociable nature, moving would be far less impactful on him than staying put might be on me.
As it turned out, Green Academy was everything Iâd hoped for. I was ecstatic to discover a group of students with whom I shared interests and could truly engage. Preoccupied with new friends and a rigorous course load, I failed to notice that the tables had turned. Max, lost in the fray and grappling with how to make connections in his enormous new high school, had become withdrawn and lonely. It took me until Christmas time â and a massive argument â to recognize how difficult the transition had been for my brother, let alone that he blamed me for it.
Through my own journey of searching for academic peers, in addition to coming out as gay when I was 12, I had developed deep empathy for those who had trouble fitting in. It was a pain I knew well and could easily relate to. Yet after Maxâs outburst, my first response was to protest that our parents â not I â had chosen to move us here. In my heart, though, I knew that regardless of who had made the decision, we ended up in Kingston for my benefit. I was ashamed that, while I saw myself as genuinely compassionate, I had been oblivious to the heartache of the person closest to me. I could no longer ignore it â and I didnât want to.
We stayed up half the night talking, and the conversation took an unexpected turn. Max opened up and shared that it wasnât just about the move. He told me how challenging school had always been for him, due to his dyslexia, and that the ever-present comparison to me had only deepened his pain.
We had been in parallel battles the whole time and, yet, I only saw that Max was in distress once he experienced problems with which I directly identified. Iâd long thought Max had it so easy â all because he had friends. The truth was, he didnât need to experience my personal brand of sorrow in order for me to relate â he had felt plenty of his own.
My failure to recognize Maxâs suffering brought home for me the profound universality and diversity of personal struggle; everyone has insecurities, everyone has woes, and everyone â most certainly â has pain. I am acutely grateful for the conversations he and I shared around all of this, because I believe our relationship has been fundamentally strengthened by a deeper understanding of one another. Further, this experience has reinforced the value of constantly striving for deeper sensitivity to the hidden struggles of those around me. I wonât make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someoneâs life reflects their underlying story.
Here you can find a prime example that you donât have to have fabulous imagery or flowery prose to write a successful essay. You just have to be clear and say something that matters. This essay is simple and beautiful. It almost feels like having a conversation with a friend and learning that they are an even better person than you already thought they were.
Through this narrative, readers learn a lot about the writerâwhere theyâre from, what their family life is like, what their challenges were as a kid, and even their sexuality. We also learn a lot about their valuesânotably, the value they place on awareness, improvement, and consideration of others. Though they never explicitly state it (which is great because it is still crystal clear!), this studentâs ending of âI wonât make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someoneâs life reflects their underlying storyâ shows that they are constantly striving for improvement and finding lessons anywhere they can get them in life.
Community Service/Impact on the Community
Colleges want students who will positively impact the campus community and go on to make change in the world after they graduate. This essay is similar to the Extracurricular Essay, but you need to focus on a situation where you impacted others.Â
Learn more about how to write the Community Service Essay in our guide.
Academic Signing Day
Prompt: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?
The scent of eucalyptus caressed my nose in a gentle breeze. Spring had arrived. Senior class activities were here. As a sophomore, I noticed a difference between athletic and academic seniors at my high school; one received recognition while the other received silence. I wanted to create an event celebrating students academically-committed to four-years, community colleges, trades schools, and military programs. This event was Academic Signing Day.
The leadership label, âEvents Coordinator,â felt heavy on my introverted mind. I usually was setting up for rallies and spirit weeks, being overlooked around the exuberant nature of my peers.Â
I knew a change of mind was needed; I designed flyers, painted posters, presented powerpoints, created student-led committees, and practiced countless hours for my introductory speech. Each committee would play a vital role on event day: one dedicated to refreshments, another to technology, and one for decorations. The fourth-month planning was a laborious joy, but I was still fearful of being in the spotlight. Being acknowledged by hundreds of people was new to me.    Â
The day was here. Parents filled the stands of the multi-purpose room. The atmosphere was tense; I could feel the angst building in my throat, worried about the impression I would leave. Applause followed each of the 400 students as they walked to their college table, indicating my time to speak.Â
I walked up to the stand, hands clammy, expression tranquil, my words echoing to the audience. I thought my speech would be met by the sounds of crickets; instead, smiles lit up the stands, realizing my voice shone through my actions. I was finally coming out of my shell. The floor was met by confetti as I was met by the sincerity of staff, students, and parents, solidifying the event for years to come.Â
Academic students were no longer overshadowed. Their accomplishments were equally recognized to their athletic counterparts. The school culture of athletics over academics was no longer imbalanced. Now, every time I smell eucalyptus, it is a friendly reminder that on Academic Signing Day, not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.
This essay answers the prompt nicely because the student describes a contribution with a lasting legacy. Academic Signing Day will affect this high school in the future and it affected this studentâs self-developmentâan idea summed up nicely with their last phrase ânot only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.â
With Community Service essays, students sometimes take small contributions and stretch them. And, oftentimes, the stretch is very obvious. Here, the student shows us that Academic Signing Day actually mattered by mentioning four months of planning and hundreds of students and parents. They also make their involvement in Academic Signing Day clearâit was their idea and they were in charge, and thatâs why they gave the introductory speech.
Use this response as an example of the type of focused contribution that makes for a convincing Community Service Essay.
Climate Change Rally
Prompt: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (technically not community service, but the response works)
Letâs fast-forward time. Strides were made toward racial equality. Healthcare is accessible to all; however, one issue remains. Our aquatic ecosystems are parched with dead coral from ocean acidification. Climate change has prevailed.
Rewind to the present day.
My activism skills are how I express my concerns for the environment. Whether I play on sandy beaches or rest under forest treetops, nature offers me an escape from the haste of the world. When my body is met by trash in the ocean or my nose is met by harmful pollutants, Earthâs pain becomes my own.Â
Substituting coffee grinds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale. I often found performative activism to be ineffective when communicating climate concerns. My days of reposting awareness graphics on social media never filled the ambition I had left to put my activism skills to greater use. I decided to share my ecocentric worldview with a coalition of environmentalists and host a climate change rally outside my high school.
Meetings were scheduled where I informed students about the unseen impact they have on the oceans and local habitual communities. My fingers were cramped from all the constant typing and investigating of micro causes of the Pacific Waste Patch, creating reusable flyers, displaying steps people could take from home in reducing their carbon footprint. I aided my fellow environmentalists in translating these flyers into other languages, repeating this process hourly, for five days, up until rally day. Â
It was 7:00 AM. The faces of 100 students were shouting, âThe climate is changing, why canât we?â I proudly walked on the dewy grass, grabbing the microphone, repeating those same words. The rally not only taught me efficient methods of communication but it echoed my environmental activism to the masses. The City of Corona would be the first of many cities to see my activism, as more rallies were planned for various parts of SoCal. My once unfulfilled ambition was fueled by my tangible activism, understanding that it takes more than one person to make an environmental impact.
Like with the last example, this student describes a focused event with a lasting legacy. Thatâs a perfect place to start! By the end of this essay, we have an image of the cause of this studentâs passion and the effect of this studentâs passion. There are no unanswered questions.
This student supplements their focused topic with engaging and exciting writing to make for an easy-to-read and enjoyable essay. One of the largest strengths of this response is its pace. From the very beginning, we are invited to âfast-forwardâ and ârewindâ with the writer. Then, after we center ourselves in real-time, this writer keeps their quick pace with sentences like âSubstituting coffee grounds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale.â Community Service essays run the risk of turning boring, but this unique pacing keeps things interesting.
Having a diverse class provides a richness of different perspectives and encourages open-mindedness among the student body. The Diversity Essay is also somewhat similar to the Extracurricular and Community Service Essays, but it focuses more on what you might bring to the campus community because of your unique experiences or identities.
Learn more about how to write the Diversity Essay in our guide.
A Story of a Young Skater
âââEveryone follow me!â I smiled at five wide-eyed skaters before pushing off into a spiral. I glanced behind me hopefully, only to see my students standing frozen like statues, the fear in their eyes as clear as the ice they swayed on. âCome on!â I said encouragingly, but the only response I elicited was the slow shake of their heads. My first day as a Learn-to-Skate coach was not going as planned.Â
But amid my frustration, I was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater. At seven, I had been fascinated by Olympic performers who executed thrilling high jumps and dizzying spins with apparent ease, and I dreamed to one day do the same. My first few months on skates, however, sent these hopes crashing down: my attempts at slaloms and toe-loops were shadowed by a stubborn fear of falling, which even the helmet, elbow pads, and two pairs of mittens I had armed myself with couldnât mitigate. Nonetheless, my coach remained unfailingly optimistic, motivating me through my worst spills and teaching me to find opportunities in failures. With his encouragement, I learned to push aside my fears and attack each jump with calm and confidence; itâs the hope that I can help others do the same that now inspires me to coach.
I remember the day a frustrated staff member directed Oliver, a particularly hesitant young skater, toward me, hoping that my patience and steady encouragement might help him improve. Having stood in Oliverâs skates not much earlier myself, I completely empathized with his worries but also saw within him the potential to overcome his fears and succeed.Â
To alleviate his anxiety, I held Oliverâs hand as we inched around the rink, cheering him on at every turn. I soon found though, that this only increased his fear of gliding on his own, so I changed my approach, making lessons as exciting as possible in hopes that he would catch the skating bug and take off. In the weeks that followed, we held relay races, played âfreeze-skateâ and âice-potatoâ, and raced through obstacle courses; gradually, with each slip and subsequent success, his fear began to abate. I watched Oliverâs eyes widen in excitement with every skill he learned, and not long after, he earned his first skating badge. Together we celebrated this milestone, his ecstasy fueling my excitement and his pride mirroring my own. At that moment, I was both teacher and student, his progress instilling in me the importance of patience and a positive attitude.Â
Itâs been more than ten years since I bundled up and stepped onto the ice for the first time. Since then, my tolerance for the cold has remained stubbornly low, but the rest of me has certainly changed. In sharing my passion for skating, I have found a wonderful community of eager athletes, loving parents, and dedicated coaches from whom I have learned invaluable lessons and wisdom. My fellow staffers have been with me, both as friends and colleagues, and the relationships Iâve formed have given me far more poise, confidence, and appreciation for others. Likewise, my relationships with parents have given me an even greater gratitude for the role they play: no one goes to the rink without a parent behind the wheel!Â
Since that first lesson, I have mentored dozens of children, and over the years, witnessed tentative steps transform into powerful glides and tears give way to delighted grins. What I have shared with my students has been among the greatest joys of my life, something I will cherish forever. Itâs funny: when I began skating, what pushed me through the early morning practices was the prospect of winning an Olympic medal. Now, what excites me is the chance to work with my students, to help them grow, and to give back to the sport that has brought me so much happiness.Â
This response is a great example of how Diversity doesnât have to mean race, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, age, or ability. Diversity can mean whatever you want it to meanâwhatever unique experience(s) you have to bring to the table!
A major strength of this essay comes in its narrative organization. When reading this first paragraph, we feel for the young skaters and understand their fearâskating sounds scary! Then, because the writer sets us up to feel this empathy, the transition to the second paragraph where the student describes their empathy for the young skaters is particularly powerful. Itâs like we are all in it together! The studentâs empathy for the young skaters also serves as an outstanding, seamless transition to the applicant discussing their personal journey with skating: âI was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater.â
This essay positions the applicant as a grounded and caring individual. They are caring towards the young skatersâchanging their teaching style to try to help the young skaters and feeling the young skatersâ emotions with themâbut they are also appreciative to those who helped them as they reference their fellow staffers and parents. This shows great maturityâa favorable quality in the eyes of an admissions officer.
At the end of the essay, we know a lot about this student and are convinced that they would be a good addition to a college campus!
Finding Community in the Rainforest
Prompt: Duke University seeks a talented, engaged student body that embodies the wide range of human experience; we believe that the diversity of our students makes our community stronger. If youâd like to share a perspective you bring or experiences youâve had to help us understand you betterâperhaps related to a community you belong to, your sexual orientation or gender identity, or your family or cultural backgroundâwe encourage you to do so. Real people are reading your application, and we want to do our best to understand and appreciate the real people applying to Duke (250 words).
I never understood the power of community until I left home to join seven strangers in the Ecuadorian rainforest. Although we flew in from distant corners of the U.S., we shared a common purpose: immersing ourselves in our passion for protecting the natural world.
Back home in my predominantly conservative suburb, my neighbors had brushed off environmental concerns. My classmates debated the feasibility of Trumpâs wall, not the deteriorating state of our planet. Contrastingly, these seven strangers delighted in bird-watching, brightened at the mention of medicinal tree sap, and understood why I once ran across a four-lane highway to retrieve discarded beer cans. Their histories barely resembled mine, yet our values aligned intimately. We did not hesitate to joke about bullet ants, gush about the versatility of tree bark, or discuss the destructive consequences of materialism. Together, we let our inner tree huggers run free.
In the short life of our little community, we did what we thought was impossible. By feeding on each otherâs infectious tenacity, we cultivated an atmosphere that deepened our commitment to our values and empowered us to speak out on behalf of the environment. After a week of stimulating conversations and introspective revelations about engaging people from our hometowns in environmental advocacy, we developed a shared determination to devote our lives to this cause.
As we shared a goodbye hug, my new friend whispered, âThe world needs saving. Someoneâs gotta do it.â For the first time, I believed that someone could be me.
This response is so wholesome and relatable. We all have things that we just need to geek out over and this student expresses the joy that came when they found a community where they could geek out about the environment. Passion is fundamental to university life and should find its way into successful applications.
Like the last response, this essay finds strength in the fact that readers feel for the student. We get a little bit of backstory about where they come from and how they felt silencedââBack home in my predominantly conservative suburb, my neighbors had brushed off environmental concernsââ, so itâs easy to feel joy for them when they get set free.
This student displays clear values: community, ecoconsciousness, dedication, and compassion. An admissions officer who reads Diversity essays is looking for students with strong values and a desire to contribute to a university communityâsounds like this student! Â
Political/Global Issues
Colleges want to build engaged citizens, and the Political/Global Issues Essay allows them to better understand what you care about and whether your values align with theirs. In this essay, youâre most commonly asked to describe an issue, why you care about it, and what youâve done or hope to do to address it.Â
Learn more about how to write the Political/Global Issues Essay in our guide.
Note: this prompt is not a typical political/global issues essay, but the essay itself would be a strong response to a political/global issues prompt.
Fighting Violence Against Women
Prompt: Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a starting point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation, title and author at the beginning of your essay. (250-650 words)
âOne of the great challenges of our time is that the disparities we face today have more complex causes and point less straightforwardly to solutions.âÂ
â Omar Wasow, assistant professor of politics, Princeton University. This quote is taken from Professor Wasowâs January 2014 speech at the Martin Luther King Day celebration at Princeton University.Â
The air is crisp and cool, nipping at my ears as I walk under a curtain of darkness that drapes over the sky, starless. It is a Friday night in downtown Corpus Christi, a rare moment of peace in my home city filled with the laughter of strangers and colorful lights of street vendors. But I cannot focus.Â
My feet stride quickly down the sidewalk, my hand grasps on to the pepper spray my parents gifted me for my sixteenth birthday. My eyes ignore the surrounding city life, focusing instead on a pair of tall figures walking in my direction. I mentally ask myself if they turned with me on the last street corner. I do not remember, so I pick up the pace again. All the while, my mind runs over stories of young women being assaulted, kidnapped, and raped on the street. I remember my motherâs voice reminding me to keep my chin up, back straight, eyes and ears alert.Â
At a young age, I learned that harassment is a part of daily life for women. I fell victim to period-shaming when I was thirteen, received my first catcall when I was fourteen, and was nonconsensually grabbed by a man soliciting on the street when I was fifteen. For women, assault does not just happen to usâ its gory details leave an imprint in our lives, infecting the way we perceive the world. And while movements such as the Womenâs March and #MeToo have given victims of sexual violence a voice, harassment still manifests itself in the lives of millions of women across the nation. Symbolic gestures are important in spreading awareness but, upon learning that a surprising number of men are oblivious to the frequent harassment that women experience, I now realize that addressing this complex issue requires a deeper level of activism within our local communities.Â
Frustrated with incessant cases of harassment against women, I understood at sixteen years old that change necessitates action. During my junior year, I became an intern with a judge whose campaign for office focused on a need for domestic violence reform. This experience enabled me to engage in constructive dialogue with middle and high school students on how to prevent domestic violence. As I listened to young men uneasily admit their ignorance and young women bravely share their experiences in an effort to spread awareness, I learned that breaking down systems of inequity requires changing an entire culture. I once believed that the problem of harassment would dissipate after politicians and celebrities denounce inappropriate behavior to their global audience. But today, I see that effecting large-scale change comes from the âsmallâ lessons we teach at home and in schools. Concerning womenâs empowerment, the effects of Hollywood activism do not trickle down enough. Activism must also trickle up and it depends on our willingness to fight complacency.Â
Finding the solution to the long-lasting problem of violence against women is a work-in-progress, but it is a process that is persistently moving. In my life, for every uncomfortable conversation that I bridge, I make the world a bit more sensitive to the unspoken struggle that it is to be a woman. I am no longer passively waiting for others to let me live in a world where I can stand alone under the expanse of darkness on a city street, utterly alone and at peace. I, too, deserve the night sky.
As this student addresses an important social issue, she makes the reasons for her passion clearâpersonal experiences. Because she begins with an extended anecdote, readers are able to feel connected to the student and become invested in what she has to say.
Additionally, through her powerful endingââI, too, deserve the night skyââwhich connects back to her beginningâ âas I walk under a curtain of darkness that drapes over the skyââthis student illustrates a mastery of language. Her engagement with other writing techniques that further her argument, like the emphasis on timeââgifted to me for my sixteenth birthday,â âwhen I was thirteen,â âwhen I was fourteen,â etc.âalso illustrates her mastery of language.
While this student proves herself a good writer, she also positions herself as motivated and ambitious. She turns her passions into action and fights for them. That is just what admissions officers want to see in a Political/Global issues essay!
Where to Get Feedback on Your College Essays
Once youâve written your college essays, youâll want to get feedback on them. Since these essays are important to your chances of acceptance, you should prepare to go through several rounds of edits.Â
Not sure who to ask for feedback? Thatâs why we created our free Peer Essay Review resource. You can get comments from another student going through the process and also edit other studentsâ essays to improve your own writing.Â
If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you  to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!
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32 College Essay Samples That Got Students into Top Schools
Featured Expert: Alexia Olguin, University of Pennsylvania
Reading college essay examples is a great way of preparing yourself for writing your own. Whether youâre aiming to get into your local college or looking to attend an Ivy League school , your college essay is a key component of your college application. In this blog, we have 32 awesome college essay examples from some of the top universities in the world, including Harvard, Stanford, Cornell, UPenn, Yale, and more! These are the same exact proven strategies our college essay advisors share with our own students in our much sought-after college admissions consulting program.
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Article Contents 7 min read
32 college essay examples.
Below are TWO college essay examples â you can see the sample answers directly respond to the prompt in a concise manner.
College Essay Example #1
School: University of Pennsylvania
Prompt: At Penn, learning and growth happen outside of the classroom, too. How will you explore the community at Penn? Consider how this community will help shape your perspective and identity, and how your identity and perspective will help shape this community. (150-200 words)
In addition to my academic interests, music will be my main means of exploring Pennâs community. Growing up in a small town of just 600 people meant that my high school was perpetually underfunded and unable to support any music programs. Pennâs symphony orchestra and jazz combos would be my first opportunity to utilize years of private lessons and practice Iâve undertaken since early childhood. Moreover, working with such a renowned orchestra will be my first commitment to musical performance outside of small community ensembles. This would enable a previously underdeveloped part of who I am to bloom in the company of incredibly talented musicians and directors.
Shifting from very introverted, isolated artistic practice to genuine collaboration and community would be a massive evolution for me as both a musician and a person. I would look forward to unbottling the energy I've built up playing along to Sonny Rollins and John Coltrane over the last ten years, energizing and encouraging my fellow musicians and adding a unique perspective as someone who's new toâbut very grateful forâlarger ensemble performance. (178 words)
Prompt: What is your "thing"? What energizes you or engages you so deeply that you lose track of time? Everyone has different passions, obsessions, quirks, inspirations. What are yours? (maximum of 650 words)
The college admissions essays for Cornell are a bit different than other Ivy League schools. Brush up on writing Cornell essays and review the essay prompts to start your writing! ","label":"Note","title":"Note"}]' code='tab3' template='BlogArticle'>
âBam!â These were the energized words of Emeril Lagasse as he added a touch of parmesan cheese to perfectly top off the dish he had just cooked on live television. Growing up, my sisters and I became hooked on watching chefs like Emeril cook on The Food Network. I never liked mushrooms and despised when my parents included them as we sat down to eat dinner together each night. My parents said that if I did not like it, I could cook dinner myself. I had been watching cooking shows, so I decided to try my hand at cooking our family meals. My parents were thrilled to have someone else making dinner for the night and I was ecstatic to be put in the decision-making seat for what we would be eating for dinner. Over the years, I continue to cook with my family as a way to grow closer together and I also cook by myself as a form of stress relief. As I chop vegetables, I get lost in the repetitive nature of the task and it becomes a form of meditation for me; something for my mind to focus on that allows me to forget about the troubles of the day. While my love for cooking stemmed from a desire to not have to eat mushrooms with dinner, it has grown into one of my favorite hobbies. At Cornell, I know I will meet a wide range of people and even the typical college student that does not know now to cook and relies on a microwave, pop tarts, and ramen to get through arduous study sessions. I hope to bring my hobby of cooking to Cornell where I can use it to make it through my own stressful hurdles but also to build relationships with my new classmates who may be missing a home-cooked meal.
Your college essay is more than just a requirement; itâs a chance to make a memorable impression. Before (and while) you write, try to keep the importance of your college essay front-of-mind, as it truly can help you shine and stand out to the admissions committees!
Your essay will reveal both your hard and soft skills to the admissions committee. From a technical angle, it will showcase your writing skills in terms of organization, clarity, narrative ability, and spelling and grammar. In terms of content, a compelling personal statement should tell a story that reveals something about your personality and what formative experiences you have had in your life. Since the personal statement essay reveals so much about you as an applicant, crafting an outstanding essay is crucial!
Writing a strong college essay requires significant time and effort. The best way to ensure success is to be properly prepared before you even begin to write:
How to Structure Your College Essay
Most personal statements tend to range from 250-650 words in length. The specific format requirements can vary depending on if youâre writing a Common App essay or a unique college admissions essay for a specific school.
While keeping within the word count is challenging, great content requires a solid structure to really shine:
For example: \u201cAlthough being a member of a community isn\u2019t always easy, my experiences have taught me that helping others is also a gift to ourselves \u2013 perhaps solitude isn\u2019t the \u2018best society\u2019 after all.\u201d ","label":"Conclusion","title":"Conclusion"}]' code='tab1' template='BlogArticle'>
No matter what the prompt is, here are some tips and strategies that are essential for effective writing in any essay:
1. Do not plagiarize.
Your essay needs to be an honest representation of your abilities. It also needs to tell your story, not someone elseâs. Copying someone elseâs essay violates the rules of academic integrity. Always make sure that you are writing about your own experiences in your own words.
2. Say it with feeling.
Choose topics that you are passionate about â if you arenât enthusiastic about what youâre sharing, then your audience wonât be excited to read what you have to say, either. Write about how situations made you feel, what you learned from your experiences and how it will serve you in the future. An essay written on a topic that you are passionate about will have a more genuine voice and will make for a more compelling and memorable read.
Be sure to avoid clichĂ©s like âI know how to think outside of the boxâ that will sound impersonal and uninspired, and instead express yourself in your own unique and meaningful way. The personal statement essay is your one chance to showcase your personality and character, so let your natural voice shine through!
3. Use experiences to demonstrate your points.
Here is one of the best college essay tips : it is important to always give examples and use specific experiences to illustrate what you wish your reader to know about you, instead of merely summarizing or listing facts about yourself. Your experiences are stories, and when you tell your story in a well-organized and vivid way, it makes it easier for the reader to stay engaged and remember afterwards what you have shared with them.
For example, simply stating, âI have a strong sense of communityâ can sound like an empty claim. Showing your reader how and why you have a sense of community is both far more memorable and far more effective in offering proof for what youâre saying (e.g. sharing an experience about working in a soup kitchen, and what it taught you about community).
4. Always respect the word limit.
If your essay is over the word limit set by the school, you will appear to either not care about the rules in place or to have failed to pay attention to them. Either way, you will damage your standing as an applicant! Clear and succinct writing will create a good impression, so being under the word limit is acceptable as long as you have answered the prompt and effectively conveyed your experiences.
5. Proofread your work.
As mentioned above, your college essay reveals a lot about your writing skills to the admissions committee. A compelling personal narrative can still end up undermined or muddled by poor spelling, grammar, and confusing syntax. Donât let typos and grammatical errors let your essay down! You need to commit to proofreading your essay multiple times at each stage of the process, to make sure it is clearly and correctly written.
Additionally, get someone else to proofread it too! Ask a college essay review service or editor if you addressed the prompt effectively, if your essay makes sense, and if your message is clear. Ask them for their impression of the person writing the essay. How would they describe this person? Does that match with what you were trying to convey? What did they think of the tone of your essay?
Ask a good teacher, a counselor, or another professional to go over your draft. However, choose your proofreader with care: if you let too many people read it, you may end up with too many conflicting suggestions and opinions; you may lose your âvoiceâ in the process.
6. Read that prompt one last time!
Itâs an excellent idea to go back and re-read the prompt one last time after youâve completed the final draft of your personal statement essay. This way, youâll be absolutely sure that you have responded to the prompt effectively. Double-checking before submission also ensures that you did not go too far off-topic in any way during the multiple re-writes youâll have to do in perfecting your college admission essay.
Donât forget about supplemental college application essays ! Hereâs a guide on how to write one:
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Yes, they do! Your college essay is your chance to present a full, unique story of your experiences. While many students have great marks and scores, the essay is usually the weak link in many studentsâ applications. You must work hard to create an essay that will make your application stand out.
Each school will have specific instructions regarding the length of the essay, but the range is usually between 250 and 650 words. You need to review the instructions and the word limit carefully before you begin to write.
Writing a strong essay requires a significant commitment of time and energy. Ideally, you should plan on spending 6-8 weeks writing and rewriting your essay. Always remember that a truly effective essay will require multiple drafts, and that everyone writes at a different pace!
The essay prompts are typically very open-ended. You can choose to write about any topic you like as long as it directly relates to the prompt. Remember, you must answer the prompt, do not ignore it! Prompts are open to interpretation, so try to be original. Instead of writing about common topics like a sports victory or a difficult test, brainstorm unique ideas for your college essay. Rather than playing it safe, take your chance to be unique and unforgettable.
Give yourself 6-8 weeks of time to familiarize yourself with the culture and values of your school, reflect on your experiences, read (and re-read) the prompts, and brainstorm. You may wish to make a list of experiences and qualities to feature, and create a rough outline before you start writing.
Itâs always recommended to have 1-2 proofreaders to check your spelling, grammar and overall content of your essay. However, do NOT let too many people get their hands on it, as youâll be overwhelmed with opinions and edits; your essay may suffer.
Try to put yourself in someone elseâs shoes and look at your life objectively â dig deep and give yourself time to brainstorm a variety of options. This is YOUR story; donât be afraid to be raw and honest, and donât think for a second that your experiences arenât interesting or âgoodâ enough!
Your essay will feature an introduction with a strong hook sentence, main body that highlights your experience(s), and conclusion that ties your essay together. Good organization is essential in creating a compelling, logical narrative for your reader to follow, so always pay close attention to your essayâs structure.
*Please note that our sample essays are the property of BeMo Academic Consulting, and should not be re-used for any purpose. Admissions committees regularly check for plagiarism from online sources.
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Jonathan Walker
Good Post! Amazing tips to me. I also want to study abroad. I have to improve my English. Every night I usually use duolingo to learn more, except for class hours, apkdownload is a reasonable choice for old android users like me. I will try very hard, to study abroad, open my eyes
BeMo Academic Consulting
Hello Jonathan! Thanks for your comment! Good luck!
I think this was a really good articile, I was able to learn a lot for my class!
Hello Sussy! Thanks for your comment.
onlinetutorsgroup
This blog provides invaluable insights into crafting compelling college essays. The sample essays are excellent examples of how to convey personal stories effectively. Thank you for sharing these practical tips; they will undoubtedly help many students enhance their applications.
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30+ Short Essay Examples
Short essay examples.
Writing essays can be one of the most daunting aspects of applying to college. From the personal statement to the extracurricular list to short answer essay questions, the way you communicate your experiences and personality within your application is crucial. Looking at short essay examples is an excellent way to prepare yourself to write your own. In this guide, weâll provide several short essay examples to help you get a sense of what schools are looking for.
Weâll break down the differences between short answer essay examples and long essays, give you some college essay tips, and provide a wide variety of short essay examples. Reading short essay examples for college can help you brainstorm how to structure your essays to best represent your personality. In this guide weâll look at short essay examples from Columbia, Princeton, and many other schools and colleges. So, if youâre feeling overwhelmed by college application essays, then youâre in the right place!
But before getting into our short essay examples, letâs learn more about different types of essays and their requirements.
Essay Types and Requirements
Writing essays is a crucial part of the college admissions process. Therefore, learning about the different types of essays youâll need to write in your college applications is a good place to start the process. There are three main types of essays youâll encounter as you apply to college: personal statement, long/medium essays, short answer essay questions.
Common App essay
The Common App essay , also known as a Personal Statement, is the most well-known college essay youâll have to write. So, it is not surprising that most colleges require the Common App essay/personal statement as part of their application process. The word limit for the personal statement is 650 words, and is it usually the longest essay requirement.
Supplemental essays
Supplemental essays vary in length; however, many colleges will have long/medium essay requirements in addition to short answer essay questions. Generally, long/medium essays are between 200-400 words. That being said, you should always review the essay requirements for each college well before the application deadlines as they will vary.
Short answer essays
A sub-type of the supplemental essay format are short answer essay questions. It can be easy to leave the short answer essays to the last minute. However, since these essays usually have a word limit of 50-150 words, they can actually be the most difficult to write. Therefore, itâs important to dedicate enough time and energy to your short answer essays as they can help your application stand out.
This guide will focus on short essay examples and college essay tips for short answer essay questions. Short answer essays can be challenging, especially given the small word limit. Indeed, it can be hard to adequately capture your personality and strengths in such a short format. Weâll cover short essay examples later in this guide to help inspire your writing process!
Short Essays vs. Long Essays
Managing all the different types of essays needed for your applications can be difficult. And, while the short essays may feel like they donât take as much effort, they are just as important as the personal statement or other longer essays.
In general, you’ll find long essays take longer to plan and edit. However, the benefit of longer essays is that you have more room to explore your ideas. Alternatively, short answer essays require you to be very intentional with every word. Therefore, they may be trickier to brainstorm and to edit down below the word limit.
Reading examples of college essays can give you a sense of how long and short essays differ, and how you should shift your approach for each. In fact, many of the short essay examples weâve collected highlight just how impactful short answer essays can be at communicating your unique personality and interests. While long essays grant you more space, short answer essays can quickly help you stand out in the admissions process.
Together, short and long essays help paint a holistic picture of who you are. Additionally, they help indicate if youâd be a good fit for a specific school. Reading through short answer essay examples can give you a feel of the pace and tone schools are looking for in this type of essay.
Do all college applications require short essays?
No, not all colleges require short essays! While you research short essay examples, itâs good to keep in mind the essay requirements for each of the schools on your college list.
You may encounter schools with a mix of short essays and long/medium essays, such as the University of Southern California or UT Austin . Some schools will only have long/medium essays in addition to the personal statement, like Vanderbilt and the University of Chicago . On the other hand, there are schools that donât have any supplemental essay requirements, like Northeastern and Oberlin . As you make your college list, be sure to review the college admissions requirements for each school.
What colleges require short essays?
Many different colleges require short essays. Later in this guide, weâll look at short essay examples from Stanford , Princeton , and Columbia . However, many other schools have short essay questions.
Colleges with Short Essays
- Brown University requires four short answer essays, ranging from 3 words to 100 words.
- California Institute of Technology (CalTech) has three optional short essays with word limits between 50-150 words. Given how competitive Caltech is, researching some short answer essay examples is wise!
- Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) requires five short essay responses as part of their application. Responses should be between 100-200 words.
- University of Southern California has different short essay questions depending on your major. Check out the additional application requirements for the specific school youâre applying to.
- University of Notre Dame has five unique short essay prompts, and students have to pick three of them to complete. Each short essay has a word limit of 50 words. Students must also respond to two other essay prompts, and although not necessarily deemed âshortâ essays, they have word limits of only 150.
- Dartmouth College has three separate essay supplements; only one is considered âshortâ with a word limit of 100 . Reading through college essay ideas can help you brainstorm your best Dartmouth short essay.
- Tufts University has two supplemental essay requirements, one of which is considered a short essay. For the Tufts short essay, all students must complete a sentence in 100 words or less explaining why they are applying. Take advantage of Tuftâs guide on tackling the short essay questions.
- University of Pennsylvania has two mandatory short answer essays and one that is major specific. Each has a word limit of 150-200 words.
- Virginia Tech has four required short essay prompts, each with a 120-word limit.
- Occidental College has one 20-word response supplemental essay as well as a 150-200 word essay among their essay requirements.
As you can see, short essays are prevalent in many schoolsâ essay requirements. Therefore, reading short essay examples will help you with your applications. And remember, be sure to check each schoolâs specific requirements as every school is different! Writing requirements can also change yearly so search the schoolâs site for the most up-to-date information.
Examples of Short Prompts
In this section, weâve compiled several short essay examples for you. For these short essay examples, weâve included several different answers to each prompt. This will help you see the wide variety of ways you can tackle short answer essay questions. For each prompt, weâll give you some college essay tips, and break down ways you can approach these short essays.
The following prompts are all variations on personal interest essays. In general, these short answer essay questions help admissions officers understand your unique perspective and how your interests have shaped your understanding of the world. You can use these short essay examples as a jumping off point to shape your own approach to personal interest short essays.
Letâs check out the first prompt and three short essay examples that answer it.
When the choice is yours, what do you read, listen to, or watch? (50 word limit)
Response #1.
Read: The New York Times, Vox, The New Yorker, The Atlantic, Quora. Favorite authors include Siddhartha Mukherjee, Atul Gawande, Dushka Zapata, and Zora Neale Hurston.
Listen: This American Life, The Daily, Radiolab, Invisibilia, U.S. and French pop.
Watch: The Good Place, Brooklyn 99, YouTube science, baking, and fingerstyle guitar videos.
Response #2
Read: an unhealthy number of self-help books, re-reading Just Kids by Patti Smith, every one of Audre Lordeâs books…
Listen to: Danez Smithâs slam poetry (my personal favorite? Dinosaurs in the Hood), Still Woozy, Invisibilia…
Watch: all the television I was forbidden from watching when I was twelve, POSE, ContraPoints, YouTubers criticizing ContraPointsâŠ
Response #3
Read: On Earth Weâre Briefly Gorgeous, The Wendigo, How To Write an Autobiographical Novel, Night Sky With Exit Wounds, Brainpickings.org weekly newsletter
Listen: Shostakovich, Lauv, Atlas, 20-hour-rain soundtrack on Spotify
Watch: Avatar, Forrest Gump, Schindlerâs List, Hachi (if in the mood to cry), any Marvel movie!
These media focused short answer essay questions are very popular as your answer can say a lot about who you are! However, donât try to be impressive or list things you havenât actually read or watched â be honest and let your personality come through.
Now, letâs look at some more prompts and their short essay examples:
Name your favorite books, authors, films, and/or artists. (50 word limit)
I love literature and art that helps me explore my roots and learn to love myself. These works and authors include: The Color Purple, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix,
Maya Angelou, Day of Tears, Hope for the Flowers, and Langston Hughes.
What newspapers, magazines, and/or websites do you enjoy? (50 word limit)
I enjoy newspapers and magazines that enable me to learn something everyday. I like National Geographic because it lets me learn more about science. Once it even inspired me to do a self directed project on albatrosses. I also enjoy The Economist as it gives me a well rounded view of todayâs politics and economics.
What were your favorite events (e.g., performances, exhibits, competitions, conferences, etc.) in recent years? (50 word limit)
âDecember 24th, 9pm, Eastern Standard time.â Rent began. I was sitting in between my best friends. We were losing circulation in our hands from holding on too tight and washing off our make-up with our tears. I felt an immense sense of harmony with the play and it was fantastic.
These short essay examples show how robust of an answer you can write with 50 words. Furthermore, they’re great examples of how students are able to expand on their personal interests to create a cohesive story with their essays. Indeed, the best college essay ideas will strengthen your personal narrative, even within short responses! These short essay examples show how much you can learn about an applicant in minimal words.
Moving on from those unique prompts, letâs turn to a favorite among schools. Youâre likely to see a version of the following prompt for many different colleges.
Name one thing you are looking forward to experiencing at Stanford. (50 word limit)
I live by my motto: âDare!â in all instances of Truth or Dare.
Apparently, so do the students who brave Secret Snowflake. It spotlights what I love most, Truth or Dare minus the truth. Will I attempt to break the jalapeno eating record? Hop into The Claw in sub-zero temperatures?
Weâve included this Stanford prompt to highlight the ways in which short essay examples for college can also be used to gauge your knowledge about the school youâre applying to. Many college essay tips are school specific , but itâs important to think broadly when reading examples of college essays.
While some college essay advice may apply more to one school than another, many college essay tips can be used across various schools. This prompt highlights the importance of using research to demonstrate your interest in a school.
In general, you might notice that many short essay examples have quite unique prompts. The following prompt is creative and fun, allowing students to take their response in any direction they want.
Imagine you had an extra hour in the day â how would you spend that time? (50 word limit)
Iâd split my hour two ways, investing time in my own wellbeing and in others. Half Iâd spend baking treats for friends, which would double as a personal gift, since I find bakingâlike runningârelaxing and restorative. The second half Iâd spend answering Quora questionsâsomething Iâve been meaning to pay forward.
At eight, I dreamed of becoming a YouTuber, documenting life in rectangular video. Each year, this dream drew further from reach.
With extra time, Iâd retrieve what time stole. Creating comedic skits or simply talking about my day, Iâd pursue what I value mostâmaking others laugh and capturing beautiful moments.
These short essay examples demonstrate how one thought-provoking question can capture someoneâs personality and values. College admissions officers use these questions to see how well a student knows themselves and what their priorities are. When reading examples of college essays, try to imagine how your answer will come across to a stranger. What details do you need to include to make sure your thoughts and ideas come across clearly?
How to write a short answer essay for college?
After reading a couple of short essay examples, you may feel overwhelmed with how to answer the short answer essay questions. When youâre applying to college the short answer questions may be the last thing on your priority list. However, as our short answer essay examples demonstrate, short essays can help your application stand out.
When you first approach a short essay prompt, feel free to break it down into even smaller parts. What is the core idea youâre trying to convey? Try to answer the prompt in a single answer, or even word, first. You can then use the remaining word count to explain or justify your answer. The best short essay examples get right to the point and communicate the answer clearly and concisely.
Once you have a version youâre happy with, get some feedback! While the short answer essay examples weâve included feel effortless, rest assured that they were edited and workshopped. Remember that the short essay examples paint a picture of the applicantâ think about what youâre putting forward, and what assumptions the reader may make.
Planning your short essay responses
Despite the small word count, short essay examples for college require thoughtful planning and careful execution. Try reading the short answer essay examples as a college admissions officer might. What story is being told? Is it being told well?
Then consider the response in the context of an application. Are you trying to highlight your experiences and how they relate to your major? Is there anything youâre proud of that you want to mention? Looking at the short essay examples holistically can help you see how other students have been able to shape a narrative, and, in turn, can help you map out yours.
As our examples of college essays highlight, itâs important to be precise with your words â each word should have a role and work towards your overall answer. Thereâs no room for fluff here!
Things to avoid in your short essay responses!
All of our short essay examples are well-written. However, it can be helpful to know what to stay away from in your responses.
Firstly, and most importantly, avoid generic answers. Have your answers be true to who you are, and allow them to display your unique personality. The short essay examples included in this article show how crucial personality is in the application process. Good short essay examples tell you something about the author and leave you with a better sense of who they are.
When brainstorming college essay ideas, donât try to create totally new interests to appear impressive. Itâs hard to fake authenticity. As such, owning your experiences and hobbies will be more impactful than inventing them. The short answer essay questions are a tool to help bolster your application â use them that way!
The last thing to avoid when writing short essays is waiting until the last minute to get started. While it may be tempting to focus on your longer essays, it will be obvious to admissions officers if the short answer essay questions were rushed through. The short answer essay examples included here were not written the day of the application deadline â careful planning and drafting are essential!
What is the format for a short essay?
The beauty of short essays is that there is no single format you have to follow. As demonstrated with our short essay examples, some answers come in list form and others in short paragraph form. So donât be afraid to experiment with the format of your answers. But remember, answering the prompt directly and quickly will allow you room to explore your rationale â donât make the college admissions officer search for your answer!
Researching examples of college essays that experiment with form can help you think outside the box. There is no one formula for short essay examples, so let yourself be creative. With such a limited word count, you donât have the space to build up to your answer. The short answer essay examples weâve included here donât follow the traditional essay format. Donât be afraid to break away from traditional essay rules â as long as your essay response answers the prompt, it can take on any form!
As previously mentioned, we’ve got some school-specific essay examples in store for you â starting with examples for the Columbia essay.
Columbia Short Essay Examples
The Columbia essay, like all short essays, is an important part of the overall application. The short essay examples below can help you brainstorm your own responses and serve as a guide as you write your own Columbia essay.
Letâs jump into our Columbia essay examples. Here are the prompts and the short essay examples:
Columbia Essay Examples Guidelines
For the list question that follows, there is a 100-word maximum. Please refer to the below guidance when answering this question:
- Your response should be a list of items separated by commas or semicolons.
- Items do not have to be numbered or in any specific order.
- It is not necessary to italicize or underline titles of books or other publications.
- No author names, subtitles or explanatory remarks are needed.
List a selection of texts, resources and outlets that have contributed to your intellectual development outside of academic courses, including but not limited to books, journals, websites, podcasts, essays, plays, presentations, videos, museums and other content that you enjoy. (100 words or fewer)
1984, Oedipus Rex, Antigone, A Thousand Splendid Suns, The Kite Runner, Number the Stars, Beowulf, Into the Wild, The Crucible, The Art of Strategy, The New York Times, NBC News, NPR, The Associated Press, CNN, The Wall Street Journal, CNalaysis, Elections Daily, Sabatoâs Crystal Ball, Split Ticket, FiveThirtyEight, Twitter/X, Yahoo Finance, MarketWatch, Nature, Animal World, Discovery Channel, National Geographic, Bulletin of the American Mathematical Society, Mathematical Reviews, Timeline – World History Documentaries, History Matters, Mr. Beat, Oversimplified, The Metropolitan Museum of Art
List a few words or phrases that describe your ideal college community. (150 words or fewer)
Cultivates conversations that cross all boundaries and borders whether in the dorms of John Jay or at The Forum.
A community that is collaborative but challenges individuals to be the best versions of themselves.
Where a homebody can chill with a slice of Koronet pizza or go out for a night on the town.
A campus spirited with the buzz and excitement of the city yet mellow with the rhythmic clicks and frantic thoughts in the library.
Full of hands with sore thumbs and paper cuts from flipping through the pages of The Aeneid
Where an introverted-extrovert can get lost in the crowds of 8 million people or among fellow students on the Van Am Quad.
Home.
List the titles of the required readings from courses during the school year or summer that you enjoyed most in the past year. (150 words or fewer)
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
List the titles of the books you read for pleasure that you enjoyed most in the past year. (150 words or fewer)
The Girls by Emma Cline, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou, Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, The Help by Kathryn Stockett, Devil in the White City by Erik Larson, How to Be a Bawse by Lilly Singh
List the titles of the print, electronic publications and websites you read regularly. (150 words or fewer)
Time Magazine, Vox.com (especially the Youtube channel), Vogue, Refinery29.com
List the titles of the films, concerts, shows, exhibits, lectures and other entertainments you enjoyed most in the past year. (150 words or fewer)
Isolation Tour (Kali Uchis), American Teen Tour (Khalid), Music Midtown (Kendrick Lamar, Billie Eilish, Rainbow Kitten Surprise) – Freudian by Daniel Caesar, The New York Times Great Hall exhibit at the Newseum, âPictures of the Year: 75 Years of the Worldâs Best Photographyâ at the Newseum – A Changing America at the National Museum of African American History and Culture, “The Future Is…” podcast summer series, Stuff You Should Know (podcast by HowStuffWorks), The Good Place, Mad Men
Youâll notice that all of the Columbia essay prompts are in list format. Therefore, they donât leave you much room to explain or elaborate on your answers. The lists you create will speak for themselves. These short essay examples highlight the ways you can still create a strong narrative through the lists you make.
Next, we’ll turn our attention to some great Princeton essay examples!
Princeton Short Essay Examples
Remember, when researching short essay examples for college, it can be helpful to have college-specific short essay examples. Let these short answer essay examples inspire you as you begin brainstorming your response for your own Princeton essay.
Here are the Princeton essay examples:
What is a new skill you would like to learn in college? (50 words max)
I would like to learn the important skill of team collaboration in college. Through research programs and student organizations, I will work within a team and navigate diverse perspectives. This will help prepare me for the collaborative complexities of the real world beyond the campus.
What brings you joy? (50 words max)
One of my hobbies is building election models that predict the results of the next general election. It brings me great joy when I predict the results with profound accuracy, and even if I get some wrong, it’s all part of the unpredictable processâsometimes even my models need a recount!
What song represents the soundtrack of your life at this moment? (50 words max)
“Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield represents the soundtrack of my life right now. Its lyrics mirror my journey of self-discovery and untapped potential. Lines like “Feel the rain on your skin; no one else can feel it for you” inspire me to embrace my responsibilities and savor life’s experiences.
When reading them as a whole, each Princeton essay should work to create a sense of who you are and what youâre interested in. When writing a Princeton essay, it can be tempting to come across a certain way, or try to mimic what you think college admissions officers want. However, itâs important to remain authentic in your essays and own your interests and passions. These short essay examples demonstrate this â the more authentic your answer, the better your essay will be!
Below, we’ll wrap up our school-specific essay examples with one final school: Stanford.
Stanford Short Essays Examples
For the Stanford short essays, weâve included more than one example for each prompt. With such a small word count, youâll have to be super careful with your Stanford short essays. Read through these Stanford short essays to help jumpstart your writing process .
Here are some short essay examples for the Stanford short essays:
What is the most significant challenge that society faces today? (50 word limit)
The deterioration of political and personal empathy. Thereâs been an aggressive devaluing of inclusive mindsets and common ground rulesâthe kind of solidarity of purpose necessary to accommodate divergent viewpoints, respect evidence, share burdens, and tackle national/international emergencies like climate change and immigration. We are fumblingâin backwards tribalismâwhile the world burns.
Whereâs Waldo books.
By searching for Waldo, we subconsciously teach children that certain people arenât meant to belong–they are meant to be hunted. Our brains may be hardwired to notice people who are different, but we are instructed to treat those people differently.
Searching for Waldo must be consciously unlearned.
Ignorance poses a paradoxical issue: we canât solve a problem that we donât know exists.
For fifteen years, I heard gentrification and thought humanitarian. The Oxford English Dictionary had even taught me that gentrification means âpositive change.â How can such atrocities become noticed when our perceptions are so skewed?
Response #4
Greed. The root of all evil. To make momentous strides towards improving societal conditions, people and corporations must put aside their greed. Unfortunately, greed – the deep, dark desire for power and money – is the dominant force at work in many aspects of society, making it societyâs most significant challenge.
These short answer essay examples highlight the different approaches you can take when answering this question. These short essay examples get to the point quicklyâ each example directly answers the prompt within a single sentence (or word), and then uses the remaining space to justify the answer.
Now letâs look at the second prompt and short essay examples:
How did you spend your last two summers? (50 word limit)
Learned to drive; internship in Silicon Valley (learned to live alone and cook for myself!); Governorâs Honors Program; AAJA JCamp in Detroit; wrote articles for The Borgen Project; lobbied at the Capitol and met Rep. Lucy McBath; Kenyon Review Young Writers in Ohio; read a whole lot.
My goal: Adventure
2015: Moved from North Carolina to Texas (mission trip to Birmingham, Alabama in between), vacationed in Orlando.
2016: Math program at MIT in Boston, engineering program at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, mission trip to Laredo, Texas, vacation to northern California including the lovely Palo Alto.
These short essay examples highlight the ways in which you can play with form. The first example is in list form, while the second breaks up the answer into an easily digestible format. Donât be afraid to experiment with your form with the short answer essay questions â they donât have to follow a traditional format.
Hereâs the third prompt:
What historical moment or event do you wish you could have witnessed? (50 word limit)
Valentina Tereshkovaâs 1963 spaceflight. Tereshkovaâs skill, grit, and persistence carried her from working in a textile factory, through grueling tests and training, to becoming the first woman to fly solo in space. Her accomplishment remains symbolic of womenâs empowerment and the expanded progress thatâs possible with equity in STEM opportunities.
In 2001, Egyptian authorities raided a gay nightclub, arresting 55 men. The prosecutors tried them under fujur lawsâinitially passed by Egyptian nationalists to counter British âimmoralityâ during colonization.
Watching the prosecution construct homosexuality as un-Egyptian would illustrate the extent anti-Western sentiment drove homophobia and how similar anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric remains today.
Most definitely Paganiniâs legendary one-stringed performance; one-by-one, his violin strings snapped mid-performance until he was left with only the G-string. Being Paganini, he simply continued to play flawlessly all on that single string!
Change does not happen without courage. I wish I could have witnessed the courage it took for the four A&T students sit in at the Woolworthâs counter in my hometown, Greensboro, North Carolina. I want to see the light overcoming darkness that created a change to last forever.
When applying to college, you may encounter prompts like this one, where youâre expected to demonstrate your knowledge and understanding of world events. These short answer essay examples demonstrate how you can display your personality and interests in prompts like these.
Letâs look to the fourth prompt:
What five words best describe you? (5 word limit)
Speak up. Take action. Together.
Peter Parker meets Atticus Finch
The light of the world
Short answer essay questions like these can feel the most challenging, but donât be afraid to get creative. They are meant to help capture the essence of your personality. These short essay examples for college highlight the ways these answers can have such a big impact, in such a small format.
What makes a short essay statement stand out?
When applying to college, thereâs a lot of pressure to make your essays stand out. The best short essay examples help communicate the writerâs personality and interests clearly. Developing your personal writing style is key in having your short answer essay examples stand out. Start early and donât be afraid to get creative!
Itâs also important to consider how your essays will work together.Do they tell a cohesive narrative? Do they work to highlight different experiences but help connect your bigger picture message? Reading short essay examples with a focus on cohesion can help you map out your responses.
The best way to have your short essays stand out is to plan them out carefully, and make sure they are authentic, demonstrating who you are and what youâre interested in. The best short essay examples feel genuine and convey a core aspect of the writerâs personality. Draft and edit your short essays until they feel right to you!
Additional Short Essay Tips
In addition to outlining short essay examples for college, weâve compiled some additional tips to help you get started with your college essay ideas:
1. Have a brain dumping session.
When reading short essay examples for college, it can feel intimidating if youâre unsure of what to write about. Having a brain dumping session can be a great way to inspire the writing process and help you map out what you want to communicate. Donât worry about structure or formatting; just free-write and let the words flow!
2. Edit, edit, edit.
Itâs likely that your first draft of short essays will go over the word limit, but donât worry! The short essay examples included here were not first drafts â they were honed and edited down to their current versions. Keep this in mind as you read short essay examples for college, and be sure to plan enough time for the editing process when writing your own essays.
3. Be truthful.
One thing all of our short answer essay examples have in common is that they are authentic to the writer. The best short essay examples make you feel closer to the writer. They should allow you to understand the writer on a deeper level. It can be tempting to embellish your short answer essay responses to match what you think a school wants to hear, but authenticity is hard to replicate. Therefore, be true to yourself when writing your short essay responses.
Other CollegeAdvisor Essay Resources to Explore
After youâve explored the short answer essay examples outlined here, be sure to utilize the many other resources CollegeAdvisor has to offer. In addition to guidance on the overall admissions process , CollegeAdvisor has several other resources on writing essays. After reading these short answer essay examples, you can watch our webinars on essays: Writing About Extracurriculars in Your College Essays and Supplemental Essays .
CollegeAdvisor also has ample resources on specific colleges. You can find additional short essay examples for Columbia , Barnard , and Stanford , as well as tips and tricks from former admissions officers. If you are looking for college admissions resources, CollegeAdvisor has you covered!
Short Essay Examples â Final Takeaways
While the short answer essays may seem like the easiest part of an application, using the limited word count in a smart, thoughtful way is challenging. The short essay examples for college highlight how impactful short essays can be in building out your overall candidate profile. As you start writing your short essay answers, be sure to remain authentic and truthful. And donât be afraid to get creative!
College essay writing can be stressful, but donât let the short answer essay questions intimidate youâ and definitely donât leave them to the last minute! Take your time, plan thoughtfully, and be confident in your answers. The best short essay examples for college bring out your personality â be bold and rest assured that youâre putting your best foot forward.
This article was written by senior advisor Jess Klein . Looking for more admissions support? Click here to schedule a free meeting with one of our Admissions Specialists. During your meeting, our team will discuss your profile and help you find targeted ways to increase your admissions odds at top schools. Weâll also answer any questions and discuss how CollegeAdvisor.com can support you in the college application process.
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Narrative Essay Writing
Narrative Essay Examples
20+ Top Narrative Essay Examples by Experts
12 min read
Published on: Apr 12, 2020
Last updated on: Oct 26, 2024
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Narrative essays are a common assignment in school, but many students struggle to write them.
The problem with such essays is that they can be quite difficult to write. They require students to think about their own experiences and to put those experiences into words. This can be a challenge, especially for individuals who are not used to writing about themselves.
The solution to the issue of narrative essay writing is to provide students with examples. By reading multiple samples, individuals can see how other scholars have successfully written about their own experiences.
In this blog post, we will provide you with examples of narrative essays. By the end of this blog post, you will have a better understanding of how to write a narrative essay.
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Before writing, go through narrative essay examples to ensure that outlining and formatting are done correctly. Moreover, looking at examples will allow the writer to understand sensory details and vocabulary to describe events, settings, characters, and emotions.
Here are some famous narrative essays that you can consider adding to your reading wishlist:
âA Modest Proposalâ by Jonathan Swift
âOnce More to the Lakeâ by EB White
âThe Fourth of Julyâ by Audre Lorde
âThe Story of an Hourâ by Kate Chopin
âThe Crisisâ by Thomas Paine
But it doesn't end here! To help our students, CollegeEssay.org has gathered many other narrative essay sample. These examples will help you learn the correct formation of a narrative essay.
Read on to discover!
Personal Narrative Essay Example
Are you looking for a sample to draft a personal narrative essay ? Go through the example provided below to understand how the first-person and third-person perspectives are used in a narrative essay.
Sample Personal Narrative Essay
Narrative Essay Example for Middle School
A narrative essay is frequently assigned to middle school students to assess their writing and creative skills. If you are a student looking for a sample narrative essay for your middle school assignment, go through the example provided below.
Narrative Essay Example: 7th Grade
Narrative Essay Example for Grade 8
Grade 9 Narrative Essay Example
Sample Narrative Essay Grade 12
Narrative Essay Example for High School
When drafting assignments for high school, professional writing is essential. Your essays and papers should be well structured and written in order to achieve better grades. If you are assigned a narrative essay, go through the sample provided to see how an effective essay is written.
Sample Narrative Essay For High School
Good Narrative Essay Examples for College
College essays are more complex in nature than other academic levels. They require a better understanding of the concept, following a proper writing procedure, and an outline.
Although you are to draft a narrative essay for your college assignment, make sure it is professionally written. Read the sample narrative essay provided below.
Descriptive Narrative Essay Example
If you are to draft a document on the recreation of an event, a descriptive narrative essay is written. It presents an incident that happened to the writer and the backed-up information that supports the story.
The following is a perfect example of a descriptive narrative essay.
Sample Descriptive Narrative Essay
Paper Due? Why Suffer? That's our Job!
Literacy Narrative Essay Example
Academic assignments often require students to draft essays on education. Education is the most significant topic of discussion, and for this purpose, almost every essay type and research paper studies it.
If you are drafting a narrative essay on literacy, go through the sample provided.
Fictional Narrative Essay Example
Drafting a fictional piece of document requires a more vivid description and detail. If you are assigned a narrative essay to draft on a fictional theme, read the example provided below.
Sample Fictional Narrative Essay
The Essentials of Narrative Essays
In a narrative essay, the goal is to write a story from one person's perspective. To do this well requires incorporating all of these aspects:
Below are some golden points that you should keep in mind when writing a narrative essay.
- Chronological order is the most common way to present information.
- A thesis statement has a function in an essay. This is typically evident in the opening paragraph.
- The writer's argument is clearly communicated through the use of sensory details and vivid language.
- This draws the reader in and makes them interested in what the writer has to say. Everything in the passage is somehow related to the main point.
How to Start a Narrative Essay?
When you start writing the narrative essay, you should follow some steps and make your writing process easy.
For your help, we gathered some steps that you should follow when starting writing the essay.
- Choose a narrative essay topic that is engaging and interesting.
- Do some research and then start writing the essay.
- Create an outline.
- Start writing the essay. The way you describe things should be creative and colorful. Thus, the reader can feel as if they are right there with what's happening.
- Proofread the essay before submitting it.
Watch the video below for tips on how to write a narrative essay:
Narrative Essay Writing Tips
Professional essay writers of CollegeEssay.org have gathered some tips and tricks for you to follow to make your narrative essay remarkable. Even if you are aware of the writing procedure, it is advised to use expert tips to make your documents flawless.
Follow the tips provided below to draft an exceptional narrative essay.
- Clear Content: The narrative essay content should be clear. All the details and descriptions provided should be readable and understandable by the audience. Avoid using complex words and distribute content into paragraphs.
- Keep it concise: Avoid describing every minor detail or movement. Provide only explanations that are important for the readers to imagine.
- Use first-person perspective: To make something believable and interesting for the readers, state it from the first-person perspective. Share your personal experiences, stories, and opinions to make the content impactful.
- Use limited referencing: When drafting an essay, according to the instructed format, avoid using frequent in-text citations.
- Use Clear Stance: Write your point of view clearly, so the readers feel that it is a genuine piece of writing.
Keep in mind that a narrative essay is different from an expository essay but the same as a descriptive essay .
In conclusion,
Using the tips provided by the professionals and going through the narrative essay examples will let you draft an effective paper.
Looking for top-tier essay writing help online ?
Our narrative essay writing service offers unparalleled expertise to bring your stories to life with clarity and creativity.
Also, elevate your writing journey with the best essay writer , our AI-driven tool that combines cutting-edge technology with user-friendly functionality. Experience the blend of traditional craftsmanship and modern innovation in your next essay. Try it now!
Frequently Asked Questions
How long is a narrative paragraph.
Paragraphs vary in length depending on the content, but a standard 5-sentence paragraph usually isn't enough to tell an interesting story.
How do I write a narrative essay?
Here are some steps that will help you to write a great narrative essay.
- Consider the topic
- Start writing the draft
- Provide supporting facts
- Revise your essay
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