essay about family eating together

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Why eating family meals together is still important today, eating together as a family is more important than ever, because there are more competing distractions, more activity choices outside the home, and a constant bombardment of information from technology..

This article has been updated from its original text.

During the day most of us are out in the community mixing with all kinds of people. Our children are learning about the world from many sources, often without parental filters or input. Even when everyone is home, individuals do their own thing. Perhaps the only opportunity of the day to talk with each other is at the dinner table.

Children in today’s busy world need a shared, safe space to discuss ideas within the understanding company of family, and parents need a routine time to connect with kids.

The way it was

I would like to share what family dinners mean to me. When I was growing up in rural northern California, I could always count on meeting my parents and two sisters at the maple dinner table around 6:30. We all helped getting dinner ready and would sit down together. For at least half an hour we would discuss how our day had gone, talked about matters which concerned us, and made future family plans. After a busy day our evening meal was a chance to gather our little tribe around the table and reconnect with each other. This pleasant time seemed like a reward for the day’s hard work.

Dining was about “us”, rather than the “I” so many families have evolved to cater to. There wasn’t a separate menu for each person. Even the babies had whatever we adults ate, just pureed or minced. If someone didn’t like something they were given a dab, just in case this was the day it suddenly tasted good, which often happened. As kids, we were most enthusiastic about the dishes we had a part in producing.

Conversation was spontaneous and unpredictable, although negative topics were discouraged since they might impair our appetites. Discussion between bites was fun, and often interspersed with fits of giggling with my sisters, to my father’s constant chagrin.

This nightly gathering was a common scene in America in the ‘50’s and ‘60’s. People didn’t make plans around dinnertime and you were expected to be at your seat or sitting with your friend’s family at their table. Folks didn’t call during the dinner hour.

Why we don’t eat together as much today

In recent generations, Americans moved from cooking at home to eating out because they think they don’t have time to cook, says Sheryl Garrett, founder of the Garrett Planning Network. But that’s not a sound decision, she says.

“If you think about it, if you count packing the family into the car, driving to the Applebee’s, standing in line for 20 minutes, getting to your table, waiting for your food, checking out, paying the bill of 40 or 50 dollars, and then driving back home, have you saved any time at all? No, definitely not. And you’ve probably spent four times the money you would have at home.”

The variety and convenience of ‘fast food’ has certainly taken a bite out of family mealtimes. And with good reason. Food franchises have learned how to cater to our fast-paced lifestyles by delivering a wide range of food items ‘on the go’ at low cost. Today, with 19% of meals in the US being eaten in cars, we’ve come to depend on ready access to food. But while convenience foods have their place, especially for quick breakfasts and lunches for working people, they are no substitute for family dinners eaten together.

The benefits of eating family meals together

While our smart phones and devices have brought us closer to the rest of humanity, it is the family meal that brings us closer to our own clan. The fabric of family is woven by shared experiences and time spent together. Here are some things we gain when we share meals as a family:

Eating together is more efficient, less expensive and healthier

My mother planned well-balanced meals using few convenience foods because cooking from scratch was always more economical, healthful, and tasty. My dad had a garden and a few fruit trees which provided fresh produce. To supplement, in summer we would go to big farms to do the last picking of strawberries, peaches, plums, and corn. Then we would spend hours freezing or canning summer’s bounty to enjoy all winter.

In the fall my father would go deer hunting and we would have organic venison. Also there were local pasture-fed animals to source from farmers. We knew where our food came from, and it was almost always locally sourced.

When I became responsible for the care of my own children, I grew more interested in nutrition. Being a single adventurous woman in San Francisco I had explored spices, seasonings and ethnic foods, but returned to the idea that freshness was the key to flavor and nutrition. In Laurel’s Kitchen and Diet for a Small Planet , I learned why whole natural foods, minimally processed, improve our health.

Eating together teaches children food sustainability.

When our children were young, one of the common threads of table conversation was acknowledging where our food came from. Each item usually had a story, such as where bananas grew and what kind of trip they had coming to our home. By growing and raising much of our food, the children learned the basics of gardening and took more interest in meals. They might have picked the broccoli, helped make applesauce from apples they picked by climbing trees, or collected the eggs for the omelet.

Children need to learn how the cost of convenience foods goes beyond the purchase price. The environmental costs of individual portion packaging, for manufacturing and disposal, are significant. A major perpetrator of deforestation in the South is the fast food industry. With nearly 100 paper packaging mills in the US South and thousands of restaurants worldwide, major fast food retailers such as McDonald’s, Wendy’s, KFC and Taco Bell are leaders in paper consumption and subsequent waste.

Eating together builds closer relationships within the family

It goes without saying that communication is the key to understanding. Although we live as a family, each member is on a different track through life. Spending time together over meals lets us keep in touch with each other on a regular basis. To quote Joseph Califano, Jr, of Columbia University, “One of the simplest and most effective ways for parents to be engaged in their teens’ lives is by having frequent family dinners.”

Nights at the round table

When my husband Greg was a child, his family ate at a round table. The table was inherited from grandparents, and placing it in the dining room suited the shape of the room. But there was another benefit to the round table which was less apparent: because there was no “head” to the table, everyone in the family had an equal place. The ambience was very democratic – the children shared ideas with their parents as equals, and this encouraged the spontaneous and relaxed sharing of ideas.

The neighbors across the street were a fun, vibrant Italian family. But dinnertime was a strict affair, with the father sitting at the head of the large rectangular table and the mother at the opposite end. The father held court during meals, and the kids were expected to “eat up and shut up.” Although Greg spent much of his time in their house, he never stayed for dinner. He seemed to think that the table seating arrangement, which mirrored the traditional family hierarchy, stifled open communication.

It may be a stretch to think that the shape of the table and the seating order can influence communication, but we also dine at a round table in our home, and it has been the center of countless happy times spent with family and friends.

How to change the family dynamic

What if you decide your goal is to gather everyone to the table and have quality meal time together? How do you change the dynamic in your home?

Try setting a modest goal of two times a week and build from there

Eating meals together as a family does not necessarily mean the experience will be wonderful. Even within families, it takes practice to get along. Researchers at the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University found essentially that family dinner gets better with practice; the less often a family eats together, the worse the experience is likely to be, the less healthy the food and the more meager the talk.

Simplify the food preparation

Probably the main reason we favor convenience food is the perception that home-cooked meals take more time to put together. This can certainly be the case. But there are shortcuts we can use to make food preparation fast and easy. Soups and stews can be made in quantities large enough to last two or three dinners. And when cooking rice or potatoes, make enough for a few meals. Recipes can be kept simple if you cook using fresh ingredients, and meals will still taste delicious.

Turn off cell phones and texting devices

The interruption of a phone call or text message is a sure way to break the conversation and remind everyone of events beyond the dinner table. It’s bad enough that tele-marketers call during the dinner hour. At our home we unplug the phone during mealtime; it makes our time together more relaxing and conducive to conversation.

Get the family involved in shopping and food preparation

Learning to shop wisely and to prepare food are useful life skills which are becoming more important with rising food prices and economic uncertainty. Young children can be helpful in the kitchen given a little guidance. We taught our kids how to roll out their own tortillas, which was messy, but they were proud to contribute to the meal. And they would eat just about anything if it were wrapped in one of their tortillas. When shopping, we practiced thrift. I remember preparing to order in a breakfast restaurant, and one of our kids asked the waitress for “bacon on sale”, thinking that was what you call “bacon”.

It is hard to fathom that 1/3 of America’s children eat fast food every day, according to Michael Pollan’s The Omnivore’s Dilemma. Good quality food, simply prepared, should take less than 45 minutes to put on the table. With good organization and family participation, food can be prepared in advance on the weekend, with some frozen for future meals. Any recipe can be adapted to be more healthful, even just by reducing the oil or butter and substituting whole wheat for white flour.

“If it were just about food, we would squirt it into their mouths with a tube,” says Robin Fox, an anthropologist who teaches at Rutgers University in New Jersey, about the intangible benefits that family dinner bestows on us. “A meal is about civilizing children. It’s about teaching them to be a member of their culture.”

Being together daily at the table is an important chance to celebrate being a family: by staying in touch, learning about family culture, food, and practicing the social skills of dining and conversation. Family meals are for nourishment, comfort and support. And, food is better eaten with the people we love!

About the Author

Lindsay Seaman Lindsay Seaman is an avid reader and researcher who grew up in rural communities in northern California. In 2010 she retired from her school district career and is now following her passion for organic gardening while helping manage the Eartheasy homestead. She works with Greg in the “research” gardens and orchard, where she enjoys experimenting with new ideas in organic food production.

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Second Opinion

Why the Family Meal Is Important

For many parents, it would be much easier and simpler to forget about family dinners. Jobs, children, after-school activities all contribute to families being constantly on the go, thus feeling the need to eat on the run.

But more and more parents are realizing the importance of shared family time at the dinner table. Often, this is the only time when all family members are all together in one place.

Although family dinners are viewed by some people as another burdensome chore at the end of a tiring day, more American families realize that the benefits of sharing time at day's end cannot be measured by calories alone.

Numerous studies show that eating together not only is an important aspect of family life, but helps make weight control easier.

When a family sits down together, it helps them handle the stresses of daily life and the hassles of day-to-day existence. Eating together tends to promote more sensible eating habits, which in turn helps family members manage their weight more easily.

Here are tips from the experts on family dining:

Expectations

The purpose of a family dinner may differ from family to family. In one family, good table manners might be the most important thing parents want to teach; in another, it might be communicating with one another, learning how to listen, and learning to respect each other.

Children need to learn a little bit at a time, experts say. If dinnertime is an interesting time of day for your child, he is going to learn how to sit, and say, "How was your day?" and "What was the best thing that happened to you today?"

Communication

Dinnertime is a time of respite from the hustle-bustle of everyday life. Your family can review the day that's passed and plan for the day that's coming.

Teach by example

Divide tasks, so Mom alone is not responsible for preparing food, serving, and washing dishes. The chores and joys of feeding, nurturing and cleaning up should be shared.

Don't discuss things that would embarrass or humiliate family members. Certain subjects children may want to discuss might require more compassion, or more individualized listening. Otherwise, there are no taboo topics.

Build self-esteem

Dinner is a perfect opportunity to build self-esteem in children. By listening to what children have to say, you are saying, "I value what you do; I respect who you are and what you're doing; what you do is important to me."

Mealtime can be looked at as an opportunity or as a chore. If it's viewed as an opportunity, then all sorts of possibilities are created; if it's viewed as a chore, then the possibilities don't exist. And it doesn't matter if the food is filet mignon, or pizza and salad.

Parents should let children choose their own seats. If they fight over a favorite seat, help settle the dispute peacefully.

Family dynamics

One parent may feed the kids early, with the intention of protecting the other parent from a raucous meal. But this actually can isolate the absent parent from family dynamics and create distance. Certain scheduling conflicts cannot be avoided, but carving out family meal time on a regular basis can enhance family dynamics.

The Benefit of Family Mealtime

Posted April 1, 2020
By Jill Anderson

A father having dinner with his daughter

Despite family mealtimes being hugely beneficial to kids, only about 30% of families manage to eat together regularly. Anne Fishel , executive director of the Family Dinner Project , knows it's not always easy to find that time but it also doesn't have to be so hard. Through her work, she helps families find fun, creative, and easy ways to make meals a reality. As many families adjust to stay-at-home orders from the Coronavirus, there is a silver lining in that now there is time to enjoy a family meal or two.

Jill Anderson: I am Jill Anderson. This is the Harvard EdCast. With so many families staying home right now, that means there's also more opportunities for families to eat meals together. Family therapist Anne Fishel says only about 30% of families regularly eat dinner together, despite family meal time being hugely beneficial for kids. She's the executive director of the Family Dinner Project, a nonprofit that helps families find their way back to the dinner table with fun, easy conversations and meals. Before the coronavirus outbreak, I spoke to Anne, and asked her how we wound up being a country full of families that just don't eat together very often.

I mean the numbers certainly have gone down over the last 30 to 40 years. Although it's interesting in affluent families the numbers have gone up, and in low income families they've gone down, which I think speaks to the extra stressors of having to work extra jobs, having unpredictable schedules, not having as much access to healthy food. I think this accounts for why low income families struggle more with it.

But whether families are high income or low income, or live in the Midwest or on either coast, the obstacles to family dinner are pretty much the same all over. We hear that families are too busy, it's too much work to make dinner night after night, once they make it their kids or their partners are too picky. So what's the point? There's too much conflict at the table, families are distracted by technology, teenagers seem not to want to eat with their parents, although the research really flies in the face of that. Teenagers rank family dinner pretty high on their list of things they like to do, and 80% of teenagers say that family dinner is the time of the day they're most likely to talk to their parents.

Jill Anderson: Wow. Tell me a little bit more about what are some of the benefits of having dinner together?

Anne Fishel: Yes.

Jill Anderson: And why it's important?

Anne Fishel: Yes. I'm a family therapist, and I sort of half joke that I could be out of business if more families had regular family dinners, because so many of the things that I try to do in family therapy actually get accomplished by regular dinners. There have been more than 20 years of dozens of studies that document that family dinners are great for the body, the physical health, the brains and academic performance, and the spirit or the mental health, and in terms nutrition, cardiovascular health is better in teens, there's lower fat and sugar and salt in home cooked meals even if you don't try that hard, there's more fruit, and fiber, and vegetables, and protein in home cooked meals, and lower calories. Kids who grow up having family dinners, when they're on their own tend to eat more healthily and to have lower rates of obesity.

Then the mental health benefits are just incredible. Regular family dinners are associated with lower rates of depression, and anxiety, and substance abuse, and eating disorders, and tobacco use, and early teenage pregnancy, and higher rates of resilience and higher self esteem.

Jill Anderson: The Family Dinner Project has worked with, I think I read 1 million families on this issue.

Anne Fishel: Yes, we've had close to 2 million unique visitors on our website.

Jill Anderson: Wow.

Anne Fishel: We have tons of free online resources of recipes that take less than 30 minutes, and games to play at the table that promote conversation and conversation starters. Then we've worked with thousands of families through our community programs. We host community dinners at schools, and afterschool programs, and military bases, and homeless shelters, and firehouses, and we bring together a lot of families, and we have a great dinner together, we cook together, we eat, we play games, we have conversation, and then the kids will go off with a team member to make dessert for everybody, and one of us will meet with the parents and we'll ask them what are they doing well when it comes to making dinner happen, and what are their obstacles? Then we'll ask the parents to brainstorm their own solutions to these common problems.

Over 10 years, we've kind of collected some of those great work arounds, those real life hacks and collected them in this new book that we wrote called Eat, Laugh, Talk, The Family Dinner Playbook . It's really kind of a celebration of the incredible innovation that families demonstrate when they try to make family dinner happen. It's organized around the main obstacles. If I could just give you an example to show you how innovative families can be.

Jill Anderson: Oh sure.

Anne Fishel: There's a father in the book, a divorced father who has his three sons every weekend, and he very much would like to have dinner with them over the weekend, and they're really not that interested, so they scarf down their dinner and off they go to their screens. One night he said to himself, if you can't beat them, join them. And he said, boys, come to the kitchen, humor me, we're going to make ratatouille over pasta. They did that, and then he had them watch the movie Ratatouille while they ate the dinner, and they would discuss how their ratatouille compared to the movie version. Then sometimes he would turn off the sound, and have them guess what the actors were saying on the screen, and sometimes he would have them be critics, stop the movie and have them critique the different scenes. He used technology to engage them around the table, and that kick-started their practice of having weekend dinners with one another, and he didn't have to show a movie each time.

Jill Anderson: Right. I mean that's not even something I had even thought about, you have so many different family structures, kids moving from maybe one home to a different home-

Jill Anderson: - or different parents' home, and just very different situations.

Anne Fishel: Yes, you have three generational families-

Jill Anderson: Yes.

Anne Fishel: - single parents, you could have a family dinner with friends, or college kids in a dorm who regularly have dinner with one another, I think of that as a kind of family dinner.

Jill Anderson: Really runs the gamut.

Jill Anderson: It's not what you traditionally would think of as a family.

Anne Fishel: Exactly. It doesn't even have to be dinner, some families find it so much easier to have breakfast together, or weekend brunches, or even a late night snack, where you push away from work and meet in the kitchen for cheese and crackers and hot chocolate.

Jill Anderson: Yeah.

Anne Fishel: That would count too. I mean if you think of it, there's 16 opportunities for a family to eat together in a week, seven breakfasts, seven dinners, and two weekend lunches, and any of those would count towards the benefits.

Jill Anderson: Right. If you know you're going to have a day where dinner is going to be impossible on a weekend together, maybe you can try to do a breakfast or some other time.

Anne Fishel: Sure.

Jill Anderson: I imagine doing this every day would be the dream, but is there a goal?

Anne Fishel: Yeah, I think it's really up to each individual family to find their way. The research has focused on five meals a week as being kind of the tipping point for a lot of these benefits, but I'm not sure that they've carefully calibrated it, I mean some researchers have looked to see, do you get the same benefits with two meals a week? Some of the academic benefits seem to really count on five meals or more, and the goal is to have at least one good enough meal together a week. If a family can make that happen, often more will follow.

The idea that has to be five or more can become an obstacle. It can kind of a tyranny of perfection. I think we really want to get away from that in all regards. It doesn't have to be a perfect number, it doesn't have to be perfectly cooked, doesn't have to be perfect manners, the secret sauce of dinner is really not about the food at all. The secret sauce is, is it enjoyable? Do kids feel that when they speak, somebody wants to listen to what they have to say? Is there not much criticism, or anger, or conflict at the table? These are the things that I think families really should focus on.

Jill Anderson: I want to talk more about that. It's not so much the act of eating together as much as it is about that connection, and making it quality time together, which I know myself as a parent is hard to do, especially with a young child.

Anne Fishel: There are developmental challenges when the kids are young, and then again when they're teenagers, but I think when they're young you want to set kind of realistic expectations-

Jill Anderson: Right.

Anne Fishel: - and some kids, if you can get them to sit for five or 10 minutes, I think that's something you can build on as the years go on. Sometimes if parents put a little bit more thought into how they're going to engage their kids at the table, and less focus on the foods that that can make for a more enjoyable dinner.

Jill Anderson: Oh yeah.

Anne Fishel: Maybe picking a game that you want to play that will really delight a child, and help a child talk more fully about their day than just asking them what did you do in school? Or how was your day? But instead maybe everybody goes around the table and says a rose, a thorn, and a bud. Rose is something funny or positive, a thorn is something difficult or challenging, and a bud is something you hope will happen tomorrow.

Jill Anderson: That's great.

Anne Fishel: Yeah.

Jill Anderson: I'll have to try that tonight, because I definitely am a parent guilty of saying how was your day and getting nothing because my child is so young.

Anne Fishel: Yes, there are 52 weeks of recipes and games to play at the table, and conversation starters for all different ages, and I think it can be fun as a parent just to go through, and kind of pick and choose what you think might work at your table with your family.

Jill Anderson: Can we talk about the conversation with teenagers, or when they get a little bit older, I would assume, and I'm sure a lot of parents would assume, their teenagers want nothing to do with them at the dinner table, and then it turns out that's not really true.

Anne Fishel: It's not true. No, when kids are given the choice, or when they're asked in a survey, would you rather eat with your parents than by yourself in front of a screen or with your peers? 80% choose their families. It's because teens know that it's the most reliable time of the day to have time with their parents, and adolescents still need that and want that. In a funny way adolescents have the most to gain from family dinner when you think of the reduction in high risk teen behavior that comes with regular family dinner.

I think it's kind of a question of accommodating, making some changes, engaging teenagers more in choosing the menu, or maybe cooking one meal a week, or cooking a course, or finding out a country that they're interested in and picking some menus from or some dishes from that country and making that, or asking a teenager to make a playlist of favorite songs to play during dinner and talking about that, and maybe not talking about things that you know really upset your teenage kid. Maybe not talking about that D they got on their math quiz, or how messy their room is, or the missed curfew over the weekend. Maybe waiting for those conversations until everyone's eaten, and maybe having it one-on-one instead of at the dinner table.

Jill Anderson: Wait, I want to go back to something you mentioned earlier, which was there's academic benefits to eating together-

Jill Anderson: - and I don't know that people would necessarily equate eating together as having some sort of benefit academically.

Anne Fishel: Yes, these are very dramatic benefits, with young kids, preschoolers, the organic language that happens at the dinner table turns out to have 10 times as many rare or uncommon words sort of embedded in those conversations, as parents talk about being late because they hit a lot of traffic and they were so upset they wanted to tear their hair out, whatever, there are a lot of words that kids don't pick up in their picture books or on the playground, and kids who have a larger vocabulary learn to read earlier and more easily. This was a study done at the Harvard Ed school actually, a kind of a longitudinal literacy study done by Snow and Beals.

Then moving along the age continuum, kids who eat regular family dinners in elementary school and in high school get better grades, and the effect is stronger than even doing homework, or doing art, or sports.

Jill Anderson: Have you looked at all at the college student population? They're sort of transient, sometimes they move home for a month or two.

Anne Fishel: Yes. The dinner table is in some ways the the microcosm of what's going on in the family in general. It's the place where parents first feel maybe the emptiness of the empty nest, as they night after night sit at the same kitchen table and they have two empty seats where their children would be seated. I think there's something like that that happens when young adult kids come home, and maybe they weren't expected. Maybe the parents, the single parent, or two parents, they're sitting in different seats now that it's just the two of them, and they notice they have to rearrange their seating to accommodate a young adult, or maybe they've gotten in the habit of eating much later than they used to, or maybe the college student has become a vegetarian and wants to change the way the parents eat.

So you see some of these developmental frictions, or changes, or adaptations at the dinner table, and as a family therapist, it's kind of a fruitful place to work out some of the changes, who's going to accommodate, and how's that going to happen? Are you going to keep eating at nine o'clock the way you've been doing since your college kid has been away? Are you going to reach some understanding?

Jill Anderson: It's just renegotiating?

Anne Fishel: I think often college kids come back with some new ideas about food that they may want to introduce their families to, and I think one of the kind of earmarks of families who do the best, making the transition from teenage to young adulthood happens when parents really welcome the adventures and journeys that their kids take outside the family, and those journeys might be in exploring new cuisines, new ways of eating. It's sort of an opportunity I think, for parents to say, teach us, make something you've learned, or let us adapt to things that are important to you now that you've had a new experience in college.

Jill Anderson: I hear a little bit about parents, they want to get their kid to bed earlier, and both parents are not home at the same time, and so then I becomes this what time to eat issue.

Anne Fishel: Right. Yeah, it's like which ritual is going to get privileged? Is it going to be the bedtime ritual or the dinnertime ritual? Couple things come to mind, one is a family dinner doesn't have to be everybody.

Anne Fishel: Family dinner is one parent and a child, it could still be a family dinner, and then if there's another parent and he or she comes home late, then the child at least still had a family dinner. But maybe on the nights when the whole family can't eat together, there's more focus on breakfast.

Few years ago, Cheerios came to us and said, we know you have the Family Dinner Project, but how about the family breakfast project? We created games, and food, and conversation starters for breakfast, building it around a seven minute breakfast, because that's how long it is when you press your snooze alarm before it goes off again. We thought even busy families could fit in a seven minute breakfast, so they're conversation starters and games that sort of tilt towards anticipating the day rather than reflecting back on it.

Jill Anderson: I'm still a little bit taken aback by that statistic you mentioned earlier, that only 30% or 40%-

Anne Fishel: Have dinner.

Jill Anderson: - have dinner together, and while that's not the worst number you could ever hear.

Anne Fishel: And that's regular.

Anne Fishel: There more families who have it one time a week, or twice a week. It's not that the other 60% are never having family dinner.

Jill Anderson: Right, it's still surprising to hear that. What would you say if there was one thing for families to think about doing? How do you start?

Anne Fishel: I think I would start with making a commitment to having it once a week, and then I would ask a family, what would you like to work on? If you were to make one small change, where would it be? Would it be in trying a new food? Would it be having more fun at the table? Would it be finding out more what goes on in each other's days? Would it be talking about the news? Or talking about who we are as a family, and what our identity is, and what we value as a family? I would ask a family, if you were to make one small shift, small addition to family dinner, in what realm would you want to do it?

Jill Anderson: Do you find that if you approached this to big, thinking let's do this every night, it's just-

Anne Fishel: It doesn't work.

Jill Anderson: It doesn't work.

Anne Fishel: Yeah. Yeah, I think that can be overwhelming, and can make families just want to give up on it. Some families, nobody likes to cook. I remember a family like that who nobody liked to cook, but they wanted to have dinner together, and so they decided to have one dinner out a week, and I made them a conversation jar, it was a jar stuffed with whimsical, thought provoking, funny questions on little slips of paper, you can download them on our website, because they wanted to have a sustained conversation at the restaurant for 45 minutes, and so they brought the conversation jar to the restaurant. Just said, forget about cooking at home, maybe later on we'll tackle that, but for now we just want to have a good conversation with the three kids and the two parents.

Jill Anderson: That's what this is all really about.

Anne Fishel: Yeah, it really is. There's just so few opportunities each day for families to be together, and to connect, and relax, and have a good time.

Jill Anderson: And get rid of your phones.

Anne Fishel: And well, get rid of your phone, that's one option that many families take to have a technology free time of the day. Other families I know take a slightly different stance where you can bring a phone if you want to share something with the family, a photo you took, or a funny text, that's okay. Or sometimes families say, we'll just use our phones to resolve factual debates, do fish sleep? Who won the world series in 1990? That kind of thing.

Jill Anderson: I mean, it sounds like there really is no wrong way to do this-

Jill Anderson: - other than just not trying to do this at all.

Anne Fishel: Yes, it's a very flexible format, the family dinner. We're not trying to make this a nostalgia project, or kind of bring back a fantasy from the 1950s with a spotless kitchen and one parent, usually the mother home slow roasting a pot roast. The idea really is to try to involve as many people as possible to make the work a little bit lighter, and to focus more on what happens around the table then the food, I mean, everyone loves food too.

Jill Anderson: Anne Fishel is the executive director and co-founder of the Family Dinner Project. She is also a family therapist, clinical psychologist, and associate clinical professor of psychology at the Harvard Medical School. She is director of the family and couples therapy program at Massachusetts General Hospital. The Family Dinner Project just recently released the Eat, Laugh, Talk, the Family Dinner Playbook .

I'm Jill Anderson. This is the Harvard EdCast produced by the Harvard Graduate School of Education. Thanks for listening, and please subscribe.

About the Harvard EdCast

In the complex world of education, we keep the focus simple: what makes a difference for learners, educators, parents, and our communities.

The Harvard EdCast is a weekly podcast about the ideas that shape education, from early learning through college and career. We talk to teachers, researchers, policymakers, and leaders of schools and systems in the US and around the world — looking for positive approaches to the challenges and inequties in education. One of the driving questions we explore: How can the transformative power of education reach every learner? Through authentic conversation, we work to lower the barriers of education’s complexities so that everyone can understand.

An education podcast that keeps the focus simple: what makes a difference for learners, educators, parents, and communities

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The Importance of Eating Together

Family dinners build relationships, and help kids do better in school.

After my mother passed away and my brother went to study in New Zealand, the first thing that really felt different was the dinner table. My father and I began eating separately. We went out to dinners with our friends, ate sandwiches in front of our computers, delivery pizzas while watching movies. Some days we rarely saw each other at all. Then, a few weeks before I was set to leave for university, my father walked downstairs. “You know, I think we should start eating together even if it’s just you and me,” he said. “Your mother would have wanted that.” It wasn’t ideal, of course—the meals we made weren’t particularly amazing and we missed the presence of Mom and my brother—but there was something special about setting aside time to be with my father. It was therapeutic: an excuse to talk, to reflect on the day, and on recent events. Our chats about the banal—of baseball and television—often led to discussions of the serious—of politics and death, of memories and loss. Eating together was a small act, and it required very little of us—45 minutes away from our usual, quotidian distractions—and yet it was invariably one of the happiest parts of my day.

Sadly, Americans rarely eat together anymore. In fact, the average American eats one in every five meals in her car, one in four Americans eats at least one fast food meal every single day, and the majority of American families report eating a single meal together less than five days a week. It’s a pity that so many Americans are missing out on what could be meaningful time with their loved ones, but it’s even more than that. Not eating together also has quantifiably negative effects both physically and psychologically.

Using data from nearly three-quarters of the world’s countries, a new analysis from the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) found that students who do not regularly eat with their parents are significantly more likely to be truant at school. The average truancy rate in the two weeks before the International Program for International Student Assessment (PISA), a test administered to 15-year-olds by the OECD and used in the analysis as a measure for absenteeism, was about 15 percent throughout the world on average, but it was nearly 30 percent when pupils reported they didn’t often share meals with their families.

Children who do not eat dinner with their parents at least twice a week also were 40 percent more likely to be overweight compared to those who do, as outlined in a research presentation given at the European Congress on Obesity in Bulgaria this May. On the contrary, children who do eat dinner with their parents five or more days a week have less trouble with drugs and alcohol, eat healthier, show better academic performance, and report being closer with their parents than children who eat dinner with their parents less often, according to a study conducted by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University.

There are two big reasons for these negative effects associated with not eating meals together: the first is simply that when we eat out—especially at the inexpensive fast food and take-out places that most children go to when not eating with their family—we tend not to eat very healthy things. As Michael Pollan wrote in his most recent book, Cooked , meals eaten outside of the home are almost uniformly less healthy than homemade foods, generally having higher fat, salt, and caloric content.

The other reason is that eating alone can be alienating. The dinner table can act as a unifier, a place of community. Sharing a meal is an excuse to catch up and talk, one of the few times where people are happy to put aside their work and take time out of their day. After all, it is rare that we Americans grant ourselves pleasure over productivity (just look at the fact that the average American works nearly 220 hours more per year than the average Frenchman).

In many countries, mealtime is treated as sacred. In France, for instance, while it is acceptable to eat by oneself, one should never rush a meal. A frenzied salad muncher on the métro invites dirty glares, and employees are given at least an hour for lunch. In many Mexican cities, townspeople will eat together with friends and family in central areas like parks or town squares. In Cambodia, villagers spread out colorful mats and bring food to share with loved ones like a potluck .

In her book Eating Together , Alice Julier argues that dining together can radically shift people’s perspectives: It reduces people’s perceptions of inequality, and diners tend to view those of different races, genders, and socioeconomic backgrounds as more equal than they would in other social scenarios.

It hasn’t always been the case that Americans don’t prioritize eating together and eating slowly. In 1950, Elizabeth David, who was recognized as the sort of soul-stirring American culinary evangelist du moment, as perhaps Alice Waters or David Lebovitz is today, published A Book of Mediterranean Food . She wrote that great food is simple. She proposed that meals didn’t have to come from fancy or trendy restaurants, and that enjoying basic meals with loved ones makes for the best eating. In one particularly salient passage, she writes:

“In the shade of the lemon grove I break off a hunch of bread, sprinkle it with the delicious fruity olive oil, empty my glass of sour white Capri wine; and remember that Norman Douglas once wrote that whoever has helped us to a larger understanding is entitled to our gratitude for all time.”

Her equation for physical and psychological well-being is easy: Eat simply and eat together.

For the average American family, who now spends nearly as much money on fast food as they do on groceries, this simplicity is not so easily achieved. Perhaps the root of this problem is cultural misperception.

In America, it seems snobbish to take time to eat good food with one’s family. The Norman Rockwell portrait of the family around the dinner table now seems less middle-class and more haute bourgeois, as many families can’t afford to have one parent stay home from work, spending his or her day cleaning and cooking a roast and side of potatoes for the spouse and kids. Most parents don’t have time to cook, many don’t even know how, and the idea that one should spend extra money and time picking up produce at the supermarket rather than grabbing a bucket of Chinese take-out can seem unfeasible, unnecessary, and slightly pretentious. It’s understandable to want to save time and money. It’s the same reason that small shops go out of business once Walmart moves into town; but in this case it is not the shop owner who suffers, it is the consumer of unhealthy and rushed meals.

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How then do we eat better, not just from a nutritional perspective, but from a psychological one as well?

“To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art,” said the 17th-century writer François de La Rochefoucauld. What “intelligence” means in the context of eating is debatable. There are those who obsess over their food—where it is sourced, if it is organic, the nebulous desire for culinary “originality”—who are known in the U.S. as “foodies” and in France as generation Le Fooding , both of which are the hipsters of cuisine, moneyed and sometimes picky. But this doesn’t seem quite like “intelligence” as de La Rochefoucauld meant it.

Perhaps to “eat intelligently,” one needs only to eat together. Although it would be nice to eat healthily as well, even take-out makes for a decent enough meal, psychologically speaking, so long as your family, roommates, or friends are present.

It’s incredible what we’re willing to make time for if we’re motivated. (Although we often end up just a bit too squeezed to make it to the gym in the morning, we can still find time to go to the movies after work.) Perhaps seeing eating together not as another appointment on a busy schedule, but rather as an opportunity to de-stress, a chance to catch up with those whom we love then, could help our children do better in school, get in better shape, and be less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol. Eating together also led children to report better relationships with their parents and surely relationships between adults can similarly benefit.

On our last night before I left home to return to school, my father and I went out to our favorite hometown restaurant, a Sichuan place where we always order the same thing: Yu Xiang Qiezi for me, Black Date Chicken for him. But even after 60 years of life on this planet and countless dinners here, he still could not properly hold a pair of chopsticks. “Let me help,” I said, and after a little resistance, he obliged me. “See you have to hold this one perfectly still,” I said, motioning to the chopstick in my left hand, “while you move this one to pick up your food.” The waiter came with another bowl of rice on which he would try. He nodded. “I think I’ve got it,” he said, delicately holding the chopsticks between his fingers. “The chopsticks each have an individual role, but in order not to drop your food, they have to work together. Right?” I smiled. “Exactly.”

The Power of Family Meals: Strengthening Bonds and Building Healthy Habits

Originally posted on 12/06/2023 @ 20:10

The Importance of Family Meals

Creating a sense of belonging.

Creating a sense of belonging is one of the most significant benefits of family meals. When families gather around the table to share a meal, it fosters a strong sense of connection and togetherness. This shared experience allows family members to engage in meaningful conversations, share stories, and truly connect with one another. It provides an opportunity for everyone to feel heard, valued, and supported, creating a safe and nurturing environment where individuals can express themselves freely. Moreover, regular family meals help establish traditions and rituals that further strengthen the family bond, creating a sense of belonging that extends beyond the dinner table.

Promoting Communication and Connection

Family meals provide a unique opportunity for promoting communication and connection among family members. Sitting down together at the dinner table allows for open and meaningful conversations, where everyone can share their thoughts, experiences, and emotions. This dedicated time fosters a sense of belonging and strengthens the bonds between family members. Engaging in regular family meals also encourages active listening and empathy, as individuals have the chance to truly connect with one another on a deeper level. Moreover, these shared meals create a supportive environment where everyone can feel comfortable expressing themselves and seeking advice or support from their loved ones. By prioritizing family meals, families can enhance their communication skills, build stronger relationships, and create lasting memories together.

Fostering Healthy Eating Habits

Fostering healthy eating habits is crucial for the overall well-being of individuals and families. Family meals provide a unique opportunity to instill these habits in children and promote a positive relationship with food. By consistently sitting down together for meals, parents can serve as role models, demonstrating the importance of balanced nutrition and making healthy choices. Engaging in conversations about different food groups, portion sizes, and the benefits of incorporating fruits and vegetables into meals can help children develop a deeper understanding of nutrition. Moreover, family meals create a supportive environment where parents can encourage their children to try new foods, expand their palate, and develop a lifelong appreciation for wholesome and nourishing meals.

Benefits of Regular Family Meals

Improved Mental and Emotional Well-being

Family meals have been found to have a significant impact on the mental and emotional well-being of individuals. Regularly sitting down together as a family for meals provides a sense of belonging and connection, fostering a supportive and nurturing environment. Engaging in meaningful conversations during these meals allows family members to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences, promoting open communication and emotional expression. This can help reduce stress, anxiety, and feelings of loneliness, as family members feel heard and understood. Additionally, the act of sharing meals together creates a sense of routine and stability, which can contribute to a greater sense of overall well-being. Research has shown that children who regularly have family meals are more likely to have better mental health outcomes, including higher self-esteem and lower rates of depression. Overall, family meals play a vital role in improving mental and emotional well-being by fostering a supportive and connected family environment.

Enhanced Academic Performance

In addition to strengthening family bonds and promoting healthy habits, regular family meals have been shown to have a positive impact on academic performance. Research suggests that children who regularly eat meals with their families tend to have higher grades, better language skills, and improved cognitive development. This may be attributed to the quality of communication and interaction that takes place during these meals. Family meals provide an opportunity for parents to engage in meaningful conversations with their children, discussing their day, sharing ideas, and providing guidance. These conversations not only foster critical thinking and problem-solving skills but also enhance vocabulary and language development. Furthermore, the routine and structure of family meals can contribute to better time management and organizational skills, which are essential for academic success. Overall, the power of family meals extends beyond the dinner table, positively impacting children’s academic performance and setting them up for future success.

Reduced Risk of Substance Abuse

Family meals have been found to play a crucial role in reducing the risk of substance abuse among adolescents. Research consistently shows that regular family meals provide a protective factor against the initiation and progression of substance use. By creating a supportive and nurturing environment, family meals offer an opportunity for open communication and connection between family members. This regular interaction allows parents to monitor their children’s behavior, identify any potential signs of substance abuse, and intervene early if necessary. Moreover, the structure and routine of family meals provide a sense of stability and belonging, which can help prevent adolescents from seeking solace in harmful substances. By strengthening family bonds and fostering healthy habits, family meals serve as a powerful tool in safeguarding against substance abuse and promoting overall well-being.

Tips for Successful Family Meals

Establishing a regular mealtime.

Establishing a regular mealtime is crucial for reaping the benefits of family meals. By setting a consistent schedule, families can create a sense of routine and structure, allowing everyone to anticipate and prioritize this special time together. Whether it’s breakfast, lunch, or dinner, having a designated mealtime ensures that family members can plan their day accordingly and make themselves available to gather around the table. Additionally, a regular mealtime provides an opportunity for open communication and connection, as it allows family members to come together, share stories, and engage in meaningful conversations. This consistent practice not only strengthens the bonds between family members but also fosters a sense of belonging and unity within the household. Moreover, establishing a regular mealtime can also contribute to building healthy habits, as it encourages the consumption of nutritious meals and discourages impulsive snacking or eating on the go. Overall, by prioritizing and establishing a regular mealtime, families can create a positive and enriching environment that promotes both physical and emotional well-being.

Involving Everyone in Meal Preparation

Involving everyone in meal preparation is a wonderful way to foster a sense of togetherness and create lasting memories. By including family members of all ages in the process, from young children to grandparents, everyone can contribute and feel a sense of ownership over the meal. This not only strengthens family bonds but also teaches valuable life skills and promotes healthy habits. Children can learn about nutrition and develop a love for cooking, while older family members can pass down cherished family recipes and traditions. Additionally, involving everyone in meal preparation encourages communication and teamwork, as family members work together to plan, shop for ingredients, and prepare the meal. Overall, involving everyone in meal preparation is a powerful tool for building strong family connections and promoting healthy habits that can last a lifetime.

Creating a Positive and Welcoming Atmosphere

Creating a positive and welcoming atmosphere during family meals is essential for fostering strong bonds and building healthy habits. To achieve this, it is important to create a warm and inviting space where everyone feels comfortable and valued. Start by setting the table with care, using colorful and appealing tableware. Consider incorporating elements that reflect each family member’s personality, such as personalized place cards or favorite decorations. Encourage open and respectful communication by establishing a no-judgment zone, where everyone’s opinions and ideas are valued. Additionally, playing soft background music or engaging in light-hearted conversation can help create a relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere. By prioritizing a positive and welcoming environment, family meals become a cherished time for connection, support, and the development of healthy habits.

Overcoming Challenges to Family Meals

Busy schedules and time constraints.

In today’s fast-paced world, busy schedules and time constraints have become a common challenge for many families. With parents juggling work, school, extracurricular activities, and various commitments, finding time to sit down together for a family meal can seem nearly impossible. The demands of modern life often lead to rushed meals or even skipping them altogether. However, it is important to recognize the value of family meals and the positive impact they can have on strengthening bonds and building healthy habits. Despite the challenges posed by busy schedules, carving out dedicated time for shared meals can create a sense of unity and provide an opportunity for open communication and connection among family members.

Picky Eaters and Dietary Restrictions

Picky eaters and dietary restrictions can often pose challenges when it comes to family meals. However, with a little creativity and flexibility, it is possible to accommodate everyone’s needs and preferences while still fostering a sense of togetherness. For picky eaters, involving them in the meal planning and preparation process can help increase their interest and willingness to try new foods. Additionally, offering a variety of options and presenting meals in a visually appealing way can make the dining experience more enjoyable for them. When it comes to dietary restrictions, it is important to communicate openly and respectfully with family members who have specific dietary needs. This can involve researching alternative ingredients, finding suitable recipes, or even adapting traditional family favorites to accommodate those restrictions. By addressing picky eaters and dietary restrictions with patience and understanding, family meals can become a time for everyone to bond, explore new flavors, and develop healthy eating habits together.

Technology and Distractions

Technology and distractions have become an increasingly prevalent challenge during family meals. With the rise of smartphones, tablets, and other electronic devices, it has become all too easy for family members to be absorbed in their screens rather than engaging in meaningful conversation. This constant distraction not only hinders the opportunity for bonding and connection but also disrupts the establishment of healthy eating habits. Research has shown that individuals who are distracted by technology during meals tend to consume more calories and have a higher likelihood of making unhealthy food choices. Therefore, it is crucial for families to recognize the negative impact of technology on mealtime and make a conscious effort to limit its use, creating a space where genuine interactions can thrive and healthy habits can be fostered.

Making Family Meals Fun and Engaging

Introducing theme nights or special menus.

Introducing theme nights or special menus can add an exciting twist to family meals, making them even more enjoyable and memorable. By incorporating different themes or unique menus, families can explore new cuisines, cultures, and flavors together. Theme nights such as Mexican fiestas, Italian pasta nights, or even homemade pizza parties can create a fun and interactive atmosphere, encouraging everyone to get involved in the meal preparation and planning. Special menus can also be a great way to celebrate special occasions or holidays, allowing families to create their own traditions and rituals around food. Whether it’s dressing up in costumes, decorating the dining area, or trying out new recipes, theme nights and special menus can strengthen the bonds between family members and foster a sense of togetherness while building healthy eating habits.

Incorporating Games and Conversation Starters

Incorporating games and conversation starters into family meals can greatly enhance the bonding experience and foster healthy habits among family members. By engaging in fun and interactive activities, such as trivia games or storytelling sessions, families can create a lively and enjoyable atmosphere at the dinner table. These games not only encourage communication and active participation but also provide an opportunity for everyone to share their thoughts, experiences, and opinions. Moreover, conversation starters can spark interesting discussions on various topics, allowing family members to learn more about each other’s interests, aspirations, and challenges. This interactive approach to family meals not only strengthens the emotional connection between family members but also promotes the development of healthy habits, such as active listening, empathy, and effective communication skills.

Encouraging Everyone to Share Their Day

Encouraging everyone to share their day is a vital aspect of family meals that fosters open communication and strengthens the bonds between family members. By creating a safe and welcoming environment at the dinner table, family members are more likely to feel comfortable sharing their experiences, thoughts, and emotions from the day. This practice not only allows each individual to feel heard and valued but also promotes a deeper understanding of one another’s lives. Sharing the highs and lows of the day can lead to meaningful conversations, problem-solving, and support within the family unit. Additionally, this regular exchange of daily experiences can help build empathy, compassion, and a sense of belonging among family members. Encouraging everyone to share their day during family meals is a powerful way to nurture healthy habits of communication, connection, and emotional well-being within the family dynamic.

Long-Term Impact of Family Meals

Stronger Family Bonds and Relationships

Family meals have long been recognized as a powerful tool for strengthening bonds and fostering closer relationships among family members. When families gather around the table to share a meal, it provides a unique opportunity for open communication, active listening, and genuine connection. Engaging in regular family meals allows family members to engage in meaningful conversations, share their thoughts, experiences, and emotions, and truly understand and support one another. These shared moments create a sense of belonging and togetherness, helping to build trust, empathy, and a strong foundation for healthy relationships within the family unit. Moreover, the act of preparing and enjoying meals together promotes teamwork, cooperation, and a sense of shared responsibility, further enhancing the family bond.

Positive Health Outcomes

Numerous studies have highlighted the positive health outcomes associated with regular family meals. Firstly, these shared meals have been found to promote healthier eating habits among both children and adults. When families eat together, there is a greater likelihood of consuming nutritious, home-cooked meals rather than relying on fast food or processed options. This can lead to a reduced intake of unhealthy fats, sugars, and sodium, and an increased consumption of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. Additionally, family meals provide an opportunity for parents to model healthy eating behaviors, encouraging their children to make better food choices. Furthermore, research has shown that regular family meals are associated with a lower risk of obesity and related health conditions such as diabetes and cardiovascular diseases. The act of sitting down together and enjoying a meal fosters a sense of connection and support, which can positively impact mental health and overall well-being. In conclusion, the power of family meals extends beyond strengthening family bonds; it also plays a significant role in building healthy habits and promoting positive health outcomes for all family members.

Transferring Healthy Habits to Future Generations

Transferring healthy habits to future generations is crucial for the overall well-being of families. Family meals play a significant role in this process, as they provide an opportunity to instill healthy eating habits and promote positive relationships with food. By consistently engaging in shared meals, parents can serve as role models, demonstrating the importance of nutritious choices and balanced portions. Children who grow up in households that prioritize family meals are more likely to develop a positive attitude towards food, leading to a reduced risk of developing unhealthy eating patterns or disorders later in life. Moreover, these regular gatherings foster open communication and strengthen family bonds, creating a supportive environment where healthy habits can flourish. By making family meals a priority, we can ensure that future generations are equipped with the tools and knowledge to lead healthy and fulfilling lives.

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Family Meals: Why Eating Together as a Family Is So Important

The research is shared often: kids who eat family meals together are more likely to do well in school, make healthier choices, feel more connected with their families, sense that their parents are proud of them, and have a more positive outlook on life.

In their book The Hour that Matters Most , Les and Leslie Parrot state:

Study after study shows that the more often families eat together, the less likely the kids are to smoke, drink, do drugs, get depressed, develop eating disorders, become overweight, and consider suicide.

Those are the studies, but here is the reality: eating together as a family is challenging!

Between busy schedules, cranky kids, and exhausted families, flipping on the TV or feeding the kids before sitting down as a couple is often easier than establishing a regular time of eating together as a family.

In our home, my husband’s work schedule changes from week to week, and we have a new baby. As a result, regular mealtimes are a challenge for us!

Even so, we are working hard to establish regular mealtimes together as a family .

There are definitely days, though, when I am overwhelmed by the work of preparing or maintaining family meals and I wonder if it’s worth the effort, so I wrote this list detailing why family meals are important , and what I hope our family gains through the effort.

Family Mealtimes Nurture Conversation and Relationship

I remember my husband sharing about a conversation he had with a co-worker whose kids are grown. She told how one of their family’s favorite things to do, even now that her kids are adults, is to sit at the dinner table and have long conversations together as a family. She went on to say that her kids weren’t naturally inclined to just sit and talk (shocker, right?!). Developing that pattern was something they worked at from the time the kids were little .

Rather than being dismissed immediately after eating, this family cultivated conversation at the table. As the kids grew, that time together as a family became a pillar of their day, helping not only to deepen relationships but also to process life!

My grandma has modeled this same principle to me. I can’t tell you how many times we would all tease Grandma about her desire to sit and sip coffee after we had all finished eating, but secretly we all loved it. And now that “after meal” time is one of my favorites. We sit long and sip and talk together in a way that our fast-paced lives normally don’t allow.

Action Point: Talk together — share highs and lows for the day, upcoming plans, ideas, etc. Share lives together. Give everyone a chance to talk, and set the expectation that each person tells something .

Family Mealtimes Nurture Prayer

How easy it is to zoom through our days without stopping to pray! We have found that at mealtimes, we can either rush through a perfunctory prayer, or we can use this time to nurture prayer .

Mealtime prayers don’t need to be long or complicated; we just want them to be sincere. We are talking with God ! Stopping to pray together at meals is another opportunity to help our kids move away from rote routine to engage in relationship with the living God!

Action Point: If you need more ideas for mealtime prayers, check out my post about family prayer times .

Family Mealtimes Nurture Thankfulness

We have been working hard at thankfulness in our home! Seems that lately, especially, we have all been struggling with grumbling and complaining — it comes so easily, doesn’t it?

One time to really focus on gratitude is when we come to the table. We’ve kept it simple, but before our prayer time at family meals, we slow down and share one thing for which we are grateful. Then we make sure to thank God for it when we pray.

Action Point: Start small and model what you mean. Before you begin your meal or while you’re eating, share something for which you are thankful or tell about how you saw God at work in your day.

Family Mealtimes Nurture Honor

I have to admit that we haven’t focused on this yet, but this goal is really important to me. I want my kids to not only “honor their father and mother” but to show honor to one another.

Romans 12:10 says, “…outdo one another in showing honor” (ESV).

I realized that our family meal times are a great opportunity to practice honoring others.

Nurturing honor can be as simple as setting out a vase of flowers with a pretty tablecloth or giving up the “prized” seat at the table. It might mean letting someone else start the favorite dish first or setting out the china and lighting some candles. The emphasis is, how can you make your family members feel special? Feel honored ?

I remember so many occasions where my grandma would spread the lace tablecloth, add doilies to the serving platters, and place flowers and candles as a centerpiece — just as a way to make an ordinary dinner extra special. I don’t have lace and doilies, but leftover Frozen- themed paper plates and napkins were a huge hit with my kids one evening!

Action Point: Brainstorm a list of how to demonstrate honor. Include easy options as well as ideas that will take a little more effort, and then mark your calendar to model this idea at least once a month. As the kids begin to notice, start brainstorming together ways they can show honor to one another at mealtimes.

Family Mealtimes Nurture Practical Skills

I’m working on this piece, too, because let’s be honest, so many times preparing a meal is much easier done alone. But including my kids in the process is a great opportunity for them to develop and practice practical life skills. By involving the children in meal preparation and service, they can learn how to work together in the kitchen, to set and clear the table, to do basic cooking and food preparation tasks, to practice table manners.

Action Point : Get in a habit of having the kids help in the kitchen. Start small — one helper, one time a week — and focus on one skill like setting the table, how to wash or slice the vegetables, or filling the water glasses.

Here’s to nurturing — and enjoying — family mealtimes together! Blessings,

Resources for You:

How to establish Family Meal Times — Practical ideas for establishing family meal times in your home {includes a FREE PDF of discussion starters for you to use around the family table during the month of July!}

Q & A a Day for Kids: A Three Year Journal {3 Years, 365 Questions: 1,095 conversations with your Kid} — We recently started using this journal each day at our family meal times, and we’ve so enjoyed it! Not only do we have a question a day to get us started, but there is a place to record each of our answers both today and for the next two years. I’m excited to read back through our answers each year and see how we’ve changed!

The Hour that Matters Most by Les and Leslie Parrott

Question for You:

Do you maintain a regular family meal time? Why or why not? What other reasons would you add to this list?

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We have started making this a priority in the past three years, mostly because I felt convicted by all the studies saying how big big of a difference it makes. I can honestly say what started out feeling like another thing on the “to-do” list has become a huge blessing for all of us. I love the intentionality it creates…no screens, no books, no toys. Just the four of us, enjoying each others company and conversation. Thank you for sharing your ideas and conviction.

Pingback: Why Eating Together as a Family Is Important - Kirk Cameron

My husband, two daughters (ages 9 and 11) and I have dinner together almost every night. We sit at the table, start with grace, have music playing, talk about our days or whatever is on our minds – sometimes serious, sometimes nonsensical – and finish up with a reading and discussion from a devotional book. Devotional time is not just my husband or me speaking and the girls just listening: often the girls have more to add than WE do! Also, no phones, books, games, etc., at the table: only an MP3 player (it has a built-in speaker) and the devotional book. Sure, sometimes we’ll have “casual” dinner in front of the TV, but that’s rare. We’ve done this ever since the girls ate solid foods.

What type of questions are in your journal, if you don’t mind me asking. Thanks & God Bless.

I love this idea. As a homeschool mom of four, we don’t do it much at breakfast or lunch but it’s a MUST at dinner time that we all are sitting at the table for dinner. Most of the time the table is already set. My mother in law, myself(depending on whose cooking) or the girls (we have three, 9 and a half, 8, and 5) will set the table. My husband comes home from work, showers while I or my mother in law (mom) prepares the rest of the dinner, if the kids are outside, they come in from outside to wash up and we all sit down at the table. My son who’s almost 13 will get cups or glasses of ice to set. We pray to thank God for his provisions, His grace and Mercy and for the food to become nourishment to our bodies in Jesus name, Amen. Then we eat. It is so good when everyone is at the table to eat. Conversations, laughter, thoughts and sometimes tattles are all heard, but it’s a good time shared by all. Then, when we are done, the kids have the kitchen. From clearing the table to loading the dishwasher to sweeping the floor and washing down the stove and counter tops. My son usually washes the big pots, if there are any, but we all do our part. I love this article. It teaches teamwork, responsibility and thankfulness.

When my girls were little I started passing three things around the dinner table to promote conversation. A gross bug-filled ball that we found at the dollar store. (What was the bad part of your day?) A large glass “diamond.” (What was the best part of your day?) And a plastic glittery cross. (What was the “Jesus” part of your day — something He told you, helped you with, or something you are thankful for?) The insights I got from having each member of our family share these three things around the dinner table were amazing. They opened up conversations that I’m sure we would never have had otherwise, they give us things to pray for and increase our empathy for each other. Even though we no longer pass around the objects, we still share those 3 — and so do guests who come to our table! I’m so thankful that God placed this idea in my mind all those years ago and hope my girls continue the tradition with their own families. 🙂

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Are You Setting Up the Healthy Habits Your Child Needs to Thrive?

How Eating Together as a Family Benefits Emotional Health

November 26, 2023.

Eating together as a family is beneficial for your child, in more ways than one! Learn about the emotional benefits of gathering regularly for family meals.

Clang, Clang, Clang! My great-grandmother had a red bell to announce a very important event: family meals.

Meals were a time when family members gathered around the dinner table together to eat and discuss the events of the day. All work stopped; after-school activities were over; and the phone and TV were off.

It was a time to debrief, get centered, and figure things out.

Learn about the emotional benefits of eating family dinner together (no matter the meal or how many people are home).

Things are different now and it’s a little harder to get everyone together for a meal, especially with busy schedules as the norm. After-school activities also interfere with the whole family gathering for meal time.

Although sports and extracurricular activities are good for your child’s health, wellbeing, and school performance, you may feel stuck in a cycle of too many demands and not enough days to gather around the table as a family.

So what’s the solution?

First, don’t put so much pressure on dinner or believe family meals have to happen every day. We usually think of the evening meal as being the meal for a family to be together, but breakfast or brunch on the weekends, before everyone heads out the door to go their separate ways, works too.

Even lunch can work as a family meal! Even better – single parents have just as much influence on children at mealtime as do dual parent homes.

But most importantly, as a pediatric dietitian and mom myself, I believe family meals have incredibly important emotional advantages for the child.

In this article, you’ll learn about the emotional benefits of eating together no matter which meal or how many people are home to gather around the table to eat.

The emotional benefits of eating together as a family are powerful.

The Benefits of Eating Together

There are many benefits to sharing meals with your family for both children and adults.

One study showed that frequent family meals are associated with improved family life, including better family functioning, stronger relationships, and better social and emotional health for parents!

Here are some proven ways a sit-down family meal can help your child:

1. Family Meals Encourage Attachment

Children of families that eat meals together feel more supported, secure, and safe. This family cohesion is protective of physical health and emotional wellbeing. That is, as long as the environment is positive.

Kids who join the family table and are pressured to eat, or punished for their food choices or eating behaviors, may not reap the benefits of this type of family gathering.

2. Mealtime Promotes Good Behavior

Mealtime is a great way to teach good manners , promote communication, and prevent behavioral problems. The predictability of sitting for mealtime at regular times during the day can reassure a child and further equip children with social expectations at the table.

3. Meals Encourage Conversation

Conversation, both talking and listening, may be more important than what your family actually eats or where your meals happen. Good conversation promotes connection and allows your child to “figure things out” in a safe and loving environment.

Watch out for mobile devices – they definitely interfere with communication.

4. Eating Together Promotes Adjustment

Children who eat with their families frequently show better social skills and an ability to navigate social situations. That may be because of the security blanket of family and/or the skills built during an everyday conversation about challenges and successes. Family values also transfer during the meal and help children be resilient to disappointment or challenges.

5. Meals with Family Establishes Confidence

Family style eating may promote trust between child and parent , a key element in nurturing healthy eating. When you allow family-style eating at the table, you show your child that you trust he knows how to satisfy his appetite by selecting from the food items you serve for meals.

Younger children and older kids learn autonomy with food choice which helps them in the future when they are navigating food on their own.

6. Frequent Meals Together Help with Good Grades

Studies have shown that more family mealtimes each week are associated with academic performance, or better grades in school.

I’m not sure the mechanism of this, but it may have something to do with feeling connected and supported within the family, as well as having family expectations, accountability and interest in how kids are doing in school.

7. Family Meals Encourage Healthy Development

Positive family meals may contribute to a healthy child and normal growth in children. There may be a greater tendency to serve balanced meals with all the food groups, perhaps more home-cooked meals, and fewer overly processed convenience items.

8. A Good Time to Learn Manners

Children learn manners by sitting down at the table frequently and engaging in mealtime conversations, both of which allow ample teaching time and practice! Without time at the table and an adult role model, it can be difficult for children to have good table manners.

9. Positive Family Meals Encourage a Healthy Relationship with Food

As kids grow and interact with food and their feeding environment, they develop their relationship with food.

A trusting and pressure-free environment at the table helps cultivate a positive relationship with food and eating and has a protective effect against eating disorders. Too much pressure to eat, punishment or bribing at the table, or constant nagging about unhealthy food choices can cause a strained relationship with food.

Remember, a lifelong attitude, belief, and flexibility with food begins early.

10. Eating Together is Transferable

Don’t forget – dinner isn’t the only opportunity for sharing a meal together. Any time, any meal will do! You can try breakfast, or a weekend lunch together. The best part about weekend meals that take long to prepare is freezing the leftovers for a quick and healthy weekday meal or snack.

Spend time in the kitchen together preparing meals. Give your toddlers easy tasks to help in the kitchen. Older kids and teens can even help cook breakfast and lunch for the family!

Your FAMILY EATING TOGETHER: The Benefits You Won't Want Your Kid to Miss (EVER!)

The Case for Eating Together as a Family

I get it. Your family is busy with sports, after-school activities and different work schedules. It’s impossible to coordinate everyone’s schedules every night and the goal of family meal time may feel like just another commitment.

But it’s not about perfection or pressure. Family meal time can be an enjoyable time where everyone at the table benefits.

Remember, your family will get the emotional benefits of eating together as a family with just 3-5 meals per week! That’s three or more gatherings around the table while eating any meal or snack – even if there is just a single parent available!

The quality of the time counts too, so if you don’t have the time for family meals more often , turn the T.V. and phone off during the meals you do share and be fully present together.

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7 Science-Based Benefits of Eating Together as a Family

Sitting down for a family meal (and no, it doesn't necessarily have to be dinner) has resounding benefits for both kids and their parents.

Eating meals together just might be the ultimate parenting hack. What else can you do in an hour that will improve your kids' academic performance, increase their self-esteem , improve cardiovascular health, and reduce their risk of substance misuse, depression, teen pregnancy, and obesity?

Thanks to two decades worth of research, Harvard Graduate School explains that simply taking a few minutes each day to turn off screens and genuinely connect with each other over food can improve the physical and mental health of all family members involved.

Want proof? Here's some of the most recent research showing the benefits of eating together as a family.

1. Eating Together Encourages Healthier Eating Habits

A 2018 study in JAMA Network Open found that eating meals with family members is associated with a better diet overall, especially among adolescents. Teens who ate with family were more likely to consume more fruits and vegetables and less fast food and sugary beverages. Additionally, you don't need to be the perfect happy family for these benefits to apply: The study found that the kids were able to build healthier habits regardless of how functional the family was.

2. Eating Together Can Help Prevent Mental Health Disorders

According to a 2015 review by a group of Canadian researchers , frequent family dinners can prevent issues with eating disorders, alcohol and substance use, violent behavior, depression, and suicidal thoughts in adolescents. Young female study participants were especially likely to reap the protective mental health benefits of family meals.

And a 2022 survey by the American Health Association found that 91% of parents reported that their families were significantly less stressed when their families eat meals together regularly. (And again, that meal does not have to be dinner!)

3. Eating Together May Prevent Adulthood Weight Struggles

A 2015 study published in the Journal of Pediatrics found a direct correlation between the frequency of shared family meals in adolescence and reduced odds of obesity or weight issues 10 years later, especially among Black teens. The study concluded that families should attempt to gather for at least one or two meals each week to help protect their kids from weight struggles later in life.

Similar findings were also confirmed in a 2017 study published in the Journal of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics , although that study found that there was a lower rate of adulthood obesity specifically only if the family meals eaten together were home-cooked.

4. Eating Together Can Improve Children's Self-Esteem

The security provided by regularly breaking bread as a family can help children feel more confident in themselves, according to experts at Stanford Medicine Children's Health , a pediatric health care system affiliated with Stanford Medicine and Stanford University.

By encouraging your children to talk about their day (and genuinely listening to their responses), you're communicating that you value and respect who they are. Children should be allowed to choose their own seats and encouraged to assist with chores associated with dinnertime, whether setting the table, serving the food, or cleaning up.

5. Eating Together Can Improve Communication Skills

A 2017 Canadian study that followed a group of children from infancy through childhood found that participants whose families had positive meal experiences at age 6 showed a range of positive benefits by age 10.

Besides general health and fitness, the social interaction and discussions of current issues at the table can make kids better communicators, noted the study's supervisor, Université de Montréal psychoeducation professor Linda Pagani in a Science Daily interview .

6. Eating Together May Help Kids With Bullying

Research published in JAMA Pediatrics in 2014 based on a survey of nearly 19,000 students found clear associations between cyberbullying and anxiety, depression, and substance misuse. And with as many as 1 in 5 young people experiencing some form of cyberbullying , that's a major problem.

However, teens who ate dinner with their families (ideally four or more times each week) reported fewer problems as a result of being bullied. The study authors note that the regular family contact facilitates more parental guidance and open communication between kids and their parents.

7. Eating Together Can Supplement Family Therapy

For families who are undergoing therapy together, their shared dinner habits can provide valuable insights into their dynamics to therapists, according to a 2016 case study . In addition, families can be encouraged to take lessons learned during therapy to the dinner table, experimenting with new roles and communication patterns.

Family meals: Challenging the importance of eating together

The traditional family meal is rich with symbolism and nostalgia.

Mum and dad and children sitting down to a lovingly prepared meal, unpacking the day and strengthening the bonds of love.

Public health messaging promotes it as a straightforward solution to complex social problems such as childhood obesity, family breakdown and depression. It will improve your children’s behaviour, their school grades, too, and general health.

But does this health promotion of the "family meal imperative" set unrealistic expectations at a time of increasing diversity in families and family practices?

Is it rooted in an anachronistic and conspicuously old-fashioned notion of family that only serves to increase parenting guilt?

Monash University Professor of Sociology Jo Lindsay thinks so.

“Sitting down together every night is an unreasonable public health instruction on how to live,” she says. “It may provoke judgment and guilt rather than health and wellbeing.“Instead of reinforcing nostalgic and unrealistic versions of family life and requiring the performance of frequent family meals, we suggest it may be useful for public health practitioners to imagine and support diverse family food practices, multiple family eating arrangements, and flexible and healthy eating beyond the kitchen table.”

In research just published in the journal Critical Public Health , Professor Lindsay and her colleagues – Dr Claire Tanner, Dr Deana Leahy, Dr Sian Supski, Professor Jan Wright and Professor JaneMaree Maher – found that families are increasingly eating meals at the kitchen bench or in front of the TV while balancing busy lifestyles.

"Families are increasingly eating meals at the kitchen bench or in front of the TV while balancing busy lifestyles."

As part of the research, The family meals imperative and everyday family life: an analysis of children’s photos and videos , primary school-aged children in Victoria from 50 families compiled photos and video of family food consumption, providing a window into how busy lifestyles impact family mealtimes and create diverse eating habits.

Families interviewed by researchers revealed that working long hours, long commutes, conflicting schedules, children’s sports and parents’ commitments all impacted on evening meals, so families responded by eating in a variety of spaces and at different times, sometimes together, sometimes separately.

Family meals were more likely to be reserved for special occasions such as birthdays, and regular meal times were less formal and more practical.

Professor Lindsay said it was time to collectively challenge the dated and potentially harmful expectations of the role of sit-down family meals.She adds that the purported benefits and outcomes of eating structured family meals lacked strong scientific evidence. The evidence base is inconsistent and inconclusive, and shared family meals may just be a proxy for other social determinants of health.

“We’ve found the traditional sit-down dinner is not the reality we’re seeing in most busy Australian households. Instead, families configure meals in a variety of practical ways to provide nourishment and manage time pressures and relationships,” she says.

"Reinforcing nostalgic versions of family life is just not realistic."

“Reinforcing nostalgic versions of family life is just not realistic. We don’t want parents feeling like a moral failure or that they’re compromising their child’s health because they’re eating separately or in front of the television – it’s just not the case.

“We suggest that the promotion of numerous health benefits of frequent evening family meals around the dinner table mobilises a moral framework where doing dinner ‘the right way’ – harking back to a nostalgic version of family dinners – is prioritised and all other versions of dinner are viewed as improper.

“Rather than promoting meals of a bygone era, our research suggests that supporting flexible and healthy eating beyond the dinner table may be a more fruitful strategy for promoting public health, and could create a more peaceful and practical mealtime.”

The study draws on data collected as part of a broader study addressing school health messages , and the role of children as health advocates in school and family contexts.

Family meals
Sit-down family dinners
Challenging the family meal imperative

Professor, Sociology, Associate Dean Enterprise, Arts Faculty

JaneMaree Maher

Professor of Sociology

Deana Leahy

Associate Professor, School of Education Culture and Society

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7 benefits of eating together as a family

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[2 MIN READ]

In this article:, eating meals with your family can be highly beneficial for everyone., children typically eat healthier and feel more confident., talk to your swedish physician about your family’s nutrition. .

Busy schedules can easily lead to individual meal times for families, but coming together around the table has real benefits that are worth the effort. Discover the top seven reasons to get back to sharing meal times with loved ones today.

1. Eating together encourages family togetherness.

Positive family mealtimes help family members maintain relationships and feel a sense of belonging.
When children can count on regular time with a parent or adults, they feel loved, safe and secure.
Children set roots for a lifetime as they experience their family’s values and traditions.

2. Eating together fosters happy, well-adjusted kids.

Kids can feel accepted by their family and may not need to seek approval from the wrong crowd.
Adolescents are less likely to be depressed and generally have better self-esteem.
Adolescents are less likely to smoke cigarettes or use marijuana, illegal drugs or alcohol.

3. Eating together helps kids do better in school .

Listening to grownups at the table exposes children to new words, which helps them read better.
Table talk gives youth a safe place to express their ideas. They gain confidence to speak up in class.
Parents are more likely to know about deadlines for homework, upcoming test days and ways they can be involved in their children’s lives.

4. Eating together provides better nutrition.

Family meals provide nutrients that kids need to grow strong and healthy, such as calcium, fiber and iron.
Dinners at home are more likely to include nutrient-rich foods from all five food groups: vegetables, fruit, milk, grain and meat & beans. They are less likely to have too much fat and sugar.
Cooking together teaches children and teens how to plan meals and prepare food–and how to clean up!

5. Eating together helps prevent weight problems.

Children and teens are less likely to be overweight since they learn to eat healthful meals.
Teens make better food choices than when they are eating away from home.
Teens are less likely to have eating disorders like anorexia or bulimia.

6. Eating together saves time and money

Food dollars go father when making larger family-sized meals than buying individual or fast food meals.

By cooking extra food for another meal, leftovers can save time and money.

Eating a home-cooked meal can be faster than driving to a restaurant, ordering, eating and driving home.

7. Eating together is enjoyable!

Kids like eating with their families! Teens may not show it but they say they enjoy family meals.
Parents or other family members savor the good times with their kids at the table.
Laughter at the table makes mealtime fun!

Find a doctor

If you have questions about improving your family's nutrition, contact the nutrition care department at Swedish . We can accommodate both in-person and virtual visits.

Whether you require an in-person visit or want to consult a doctor virtually, you have options. Swedish Virtual Care connects you face-to-face with a nurse practitioner who can review your symptoms, provide instruction and follow up as needed. If you need to find a doctor, you can use our provider directory.

Join our Patient and Family Advisory Council .

This information is not intended as a substitute for professional medical care. Always follow your health care professional's instructions.

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Getting the family together. It’s easy as gathering around the table.

Family mealtime is when everyone at home sits down and enjoys a meal together. This can be at breakfast, lunch or dinner.

Did you know that families who eat together are healthier and happier? That’s why the Purdue Extension Nutrition Education Program encourages families to cook, talk and eat together – and make mealtime part of fun family time. In fact, here are just a few of the benefits that come from eating together:

Build relationships. Eating together helps build a close relationship with your children. It gives everyone in the family a chance to learn more about each other. Turn off the TV and don’t answer the phone during mealtime. Instead, use this time to talk, connect and make memories together. It’s a lesson your children will use for life.
Eat healthier food. Meals prepared at home are usually better for you than meals eaten while dining out.
Learn portion sizes. Teach your kids to take small amounts at first during mealtime. Tell them they can get more if they’re still hungry.
Promote stability. Eating with your child helps them think things are OK. It sends a message of family stability.
Save money. Eating at home saves the family money. It’s cheaper to cook meals at home than to dine out.
Develop cooking skills. Get everyone in on making a meal. Kids love to cook! Letting them help make meals will make them feel valued and part of the family.
Practice social skills. Eating together as a family gives your kids a chance to learn and practice their social skills, table manners and conversation skills.
Try new foods. Offer your children new foods, but don’t force them to eat them. Let them choose how much to eat. Kids are more likely to enjoy a food when it’s their choice. Making their own food choices also helps them learn to be independent.

With these cookbooks, new healthy recipes for you and your family are as easy as click and view (or click and print). If you’re on a mobile device, you may need to turn your phone to see the full table.

The Secret Power of Sharing Meals Together

American Families of Faith
March 15, 2023

When people throughout the world experienced the COVID-19 pandemic and its associated shutdowns, the well-known expression “a family that eats together, stays together” was flipped for many families. T he family that stayed together, ate together was a common occurrence as people experienced various levels of stay-in-place mandates. Most individuals and families were no longer rushing from one activity to the next, grabbing a quick fast-food meal on the way, or even working long shifts outside the home. With less intense schedules, many families were sharing an increased number of meals at home together. Multiple studies conducted over the past twenty years, including several by leading family meals scholar Barbara Fiese , have found that families who eat meals together several times a week are positively impacted physically, emotionally, relationally, and mentally. In particular, a long list of benefits is attributed to children and teens: including better academic performance, higher self-esteem, a greater sense of resilience, lower risk of substance abuse, lower risk of depression, and lower rates of obesity (e.g., Armstrong-Carter & Telzer, 2020 ; Fiese et al., 2012 ). The positive influences of regular family dinners are diverse and significant. Did the previously known benefits of family meals apply to families living through the stress and negative aspects of the Covid-19 pandemic?

Drawing from a journal article recently published in Marriage & Family Review , the present article briefly highlights the reported influences of family dinners on family relationships during the early stages of the COVID-19 pandemic . Due to the extensive data demonstrating the positive influence of family dinners, the BYU-based research team hypothesized that “engaging in regular family dinners will protect against the harmful effects of the COVID-19 pandemic on family relationships.” Many of the 731 adult participants across the United States reported engaging in family meals during the pandemic and described considerably greater levels of emotional closeness. Three central or “core” themes were identified after analyzing the participants’ open-ended reports: (1) Covid-19 Influenced Family Meals, (2) Family Dinners were Valued Time Together, and (3) Family Dinner plus Prayer was a Sacred Time of Grace.

Theme 1: COVID Influenced Our Family Meals

Although the questions asked of participants never specifically mentioned family dinners, many responses described meals together as a significant outcome of the Covid-19 pandemic. One participant explained,

We enjoyed having dinner together every night. Normally, we would be rushing to make it to practices or getting home late from practice and/or games, so dinner was rushed, and/or we got to spend very little time together. Since COVID-19 [closures], we have had more quality time spen[t] together.

Another parent reported,

[After COVID hit], we regularly spent time together … cooking and having family dinners regularly. … This allowed us time to sit back and realize the busyness of our lives and appreciate the time we have together.

Others noted that it wasn’t just family dinners that changed, but also breakfast and lunch. One parent said, “We have not eaten out since March 13 th [three-four months]. All meals have been made here at home. We already ate together at every dinner, but now we also share breakfast and lunch.”

The increased frequency of family meals together was seen by many as an opportunity to strengthen family relationships, enjoy each other’s company, and focus on quality time together. Below are a few excerpts reporting positive changes related to Covid-19:

“We [have] focused on building family relationships with sit-down dinners together.” “[In some ways, COVID] has been very positive for our family time. We eat together and enjoy each other’s company. We are eating more healthy and cooking more.” “[I think that] lots of meal preparation and cooking was good across the board. This led to lots of quality family time together, including meals together as a practice instead of an exception, as [it was] before [COVID].”

Theme 2: Family Dinner means “Together Time”

The Covid-19 pandemic reportedly reminded many families of the value and importance of time spent together. For many, enjoying family meals together was a chosen activity for “together time.” One participant said, “We just embraced the extra time together. … We cooked better meals, watched movies, and spent more time together .”

Multiple participants described how the pandemic restrictions enabled their family to focus on “ together time ” at home, including this parent:

During the pandemic, we tried to increase family meal time (both preparing and eating together). We usually try to participate in a family meal at home once a week, or we use going out to eat as a way to get family-together time . Because of the pandemic and restrictions, going out to eat was replaced with eating in and cooking together. The family togetherness … reduced the stress . … We inserted some together time with watching movies together while eating home-cooked meals we prepared together. A positive outcome has been displayed with our oldest son taking a lead role in planning and preparing a family meal. This has reduced parental stress, not only in the planning and prep duties but with a general better outlook on an older … child taking more responsibility towards the family (emphasis added).

One husband explained that shared meals with his wife were an important factor in reducing stress. He said,

[The COVID shutdown] really gave my wife and I much more time to spend together . We were home alone together and … we had time to eat [and] talk … together . … Just being together … reduced our stress.

Theme 3: Family Dinner Plus Prayer – A Sacred Time of Grace

In the predominantly religious (but diverse) sample of participants, a couple of open-ended questions were asked about changes to religious practices. Many of the participants reported that family prayers were an integral part of family meals. In response to a question related to family coping, some participants shared:

“[To cope], we … spend more time together [and] eat together and pray together .” “ We normalize praying together , eating … and having exercise [together], and this really helped us. … [A]lso praying helped us with our mental and emotional health we get to free our minds and share bothering things.” “[To help us get through], we … eat dinner as a family and pray [together]. I think having dinner together strengthen[s] our relationship.”

Other responses that combined family meals with family prayer came from participants who described changes in family practices that were influenced by COVID:

“[Since COVID], we started praying together at meals more consistently. Each of us has our own thoughts about religion and religious practices, but this is a practice that has given us comfort and peace during these unpredictable times. I believe that we will continue to pray together more often as we move forward.” “A lasting positive way [we have changed from COVID] is more regular prayer with each other. [We now pray] at meal times, in the morning, and also before bed. … [A]nd that will be a lasting positive effect.”

Others described the importance of focusing on both family meals and religious rituals during difficult times. One Jewish parent explained,

“[T]his year, [with COVID difficulties] we made a point of participating in a Passover Seder via Zoom with the extended family—and it felt right and important to do this at this questionable time of human existence.”

One Catholic parent shared that “grace before meals” was an important factor contributing to familial and religious unity during uncertain times. They said,

The lasting positive effects of the COVID-19 shutdown [are] that my children see that [we] continue to practice our religious practices such as hearing mass on Sundays as well as saying the rosary and Graces before meals. … The COVID-19 shutdown made our family closer since we are together more often. It has reinforced the practice of turning to God and to religion when there is fear and uncertainty, especially when there are things that we cannot solve by ourselves.

The COVID-19 pandemic provided profound challenges but also a potential opportunity for families to focus on shared family meals, quality time together, and associated religious practices. A few years before COVID emerged, John Gottman, renowned psychologist and marriage researcher, noted, “It is a sad fact that less than a third of U.S. families eat dinner together regularly, and more than half of those that do have the television on. This effectively ends conversation during dinner” ( Gottman & Silver, 2015, p. 263 ). As demonstrated by this study’s participant responses, the power of family meals often lies in the relationships and communication that accompany those meals.

Many valuable lessons were learned as families focused on each other during the stay-in-place mandates that accompanied the pandemic. As we move forward, those remembered lessons—including the vital importance of shared family meals—can continue to enhance relational well-being and the quality of family relationships.

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Home » Blog » General » Social-Emotional Benefits of Eating Family Dinner Together

Social-Emotional Benefits of Eating Family Dinner Together

In homes across the country, many Americans sit down at the dinner table each night as a family to enjoy each other’s company and a hot meal. This sacred tradition, often referred to as the ‘family dinner’, wasn’t truly formed until the late 18th century when dining rooms and dining tables became commonplace in American homes. Learn more about the history of family dinners .

Rooted in tradition, family dinners today continue to offer parents and their children a unique opportunity for meaningful conversations to occur during mealtimes. Recent research has shown that regular family dinners offer a wide range of physical, social-emotional, and academic benefits for children ( The Family Dinner Project , 2021).

The social-emotional benefits of eating together as a family

Let’s take a look at some of the scientifically proven social-emotional benefits of eating together as a family:

Language and vocabulary benefits

Dinnertime storytelling creates rich language opportunities for young children to further develop their language and communication skills.

Lower risk of depression and anxiety

Consistent parental engagement around the dinner table lowers the risk that teens will experience depression, anxiety, or substance abuse issues.

Improved academic performance

Adolescents who ate family meals five to seven times a week were twice as likely to get As in school as those who ate dinner with their families fewer than two times a week.

Increased feelings of connectedness

Family dinners promote social engagement and conversations between a child or teen and their parents and siblings. In a recent survey, American teens were asked when they were most likely to talk with their parents; dinner was their top answer ( Science says: eat with your kids , 2015). Give our past blog post, Signs of Social-Emotional Distress in Children , a read for additional insight on social-emotional ‘red flags’ we can look out for in our children.

Improved social skills

Research shows that kids whose families prioritize dinnertime have fewer social-emotional conflicts at school and show more confidence and positivity about friendships and peer relationships ( Five Ways Family Dinners Build Stronger Kids (and Adults) , 2017).

Improved self-esteem

More opportunities for social engagement, connection, and peer relationships all lead to improved self-esteem. Read more about encouraging self-esteem in our past blog post, Self-Esteem and Self-Worth: How to Teach Both .

Two important pitfalls to avoid during family dinner

1. watching television or having cell phones at the dinner table.

Having the TV on or access to cell phones at the dinner table, basically cancels out any of the benefits outlined above. In fact, having access to screen time at the dinner table can do more harm than good. Read more about the consequences of tech at the table .

2. Using family dinners as a time to probe your child for information

Simply sitting around a dining table won’t produce magical results on its own. Remember to keep the experience positive and to avoid setting up unrealistic expectations around mealtime.

An added bonus? These benefits aren’t just limited to our children. Research also shows improved mental health in adults who participate in regularly-scheduled family dinners. Now that we’ve established all of the amazing benefits that family dinner has to offer, set a time and meet the family there!

Need some extra help thinking of topics to talk about around the dinner table? Dr. Anne K. Fishel’s blog Food for Thought is a great starting point. So…who’s cooking dinner tonight?!

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Teaching Respect & Empathy

“Eating Together” Student Writing Lesson

Does it matter who you eat with and how often you eat together?

Family dinner photo for Writing Lessons.jpg

The YES! Magazine article, “ You Are Who You Eat With ” by Katherine Gustafson is a story about why the people you choose to eat with, and how often you eat together, is important in these hectic times.

Students will use Katherine’ Gustafson’s story to write about their family’s daily eating rituals and how these foster a sense of togetherness.

Download this lesson in a PDF

YES! Article and Writing Prompt

Read the article: “ You Are Who You Eat With ” by Katherine Gustafson.

Writing Prompt : Does it matter who you eat with, and how often you eat together?

Writing Guidelines

The writing guidelines below are intended to be just that—a guide. Please adapt to fit your curriculum.

Provide an original essay title
Reference the article
Limit the essay to no more than 700 words
Pay attention to grammar and organization
Be original, provide personal examples and insights.
Demonstrate clarity of content and ideas

This writing exercise meets several Common Core State Standards for grades 6-12, including W.9-10.3 and W. 9-10.14 for Writing, and RI.9-10 and RI.9-10.2 for Reading: Informational Text.*

*This standard applies to other grade levels. “9-10” is used as an example.

Evaluation Rubric

Sample Essays

The essays below were selected as winners for the Spring 2012 Student Writing Competition. Please use them as sample essays or mentor text. The ideas, structure, and writing style of these essays may provide inspiration for your own students’ writing—and an excellent platform for analysis and discussion.

Dinner Table Matters by Kate LeBlanc, Grade 7

Read Kate’s essay about how the dinner table is where her family shares stories about their day—and where she learned the names of all the U.S. presidents!

Family Bonding: From Tabletops to Laptops by Clara Lincoln, Grade 11

Read Clara’s essay about the support she gets from eating together at her dad’s dinner table—and around a laptop at her mom’s.

Brothers Around the Table by Willis Reed, Edmonds Community College

Read Willis’ essay about how dinners at the fire station are the cornerstone of brotherhood and working together.

Dinner at My House by Hanna Walker, Grade 8

Read Hanna’s essay about how eating dinner together improved communications between her parents and her, and helped her little brother calm down.

Response from author Katherine Gustafson to the student winners acknowledging that there is no one way to practice and enjoy a family meal and that the key is to foster a sense of togetherness.

We Want to Hear From You!

How do you see this lesson fitting in your curriculum? Already tried it? Share with us—and other teachers—how the lesson worked for you and your students.

Please leave your comments below, including what grade you teach.

Related Resources

“Three Things That Matter Most” Student Writing Lesson

“Gender Pronouns” Student Writing Lesson

“What We Fear” Student Writing Lesson

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5 Reasons Why Eating Together Builds Strong Relationships

Why does eating together build strong relationships.

Photo by fauxels from Pexels

It is more important now than ever before to set aside some time with our families and enjoy a meal together. Eating dinner as a family is widely recognized as a crucial part of raising happy, healthy children, but not only that, it also helps parents learn about their kids’ interests and develop stronger relationships with them. Eating dinner as a family can help strengthen the bond between spouses or partners. Many parents are concerned about their children’s consumption of junk food. To take a healthier path, you should encourage your kids to eat at home with the family. A recent study shows that children who dine with their parents more often are less likely to smoke, drink, or do drugs.

The lead researcher in the study also found that such children who bond with their families at least five times a week are 21% less likely to become obese adults. This can be an excellent chance for families to talk, laugh and bond while enjoying dinner together. Here are some benefits of eating together as a family that can help you influence your children’s eating habits positively:

Building family togetherness

There is no better way to get people together than to have them enjoy the same food. Eating out with family and friends can be a great moment of togetherness, especially when you’re eating something delicious.

It’s a fact that if you eat together, you feel closer to each other. That’s why it’s essential to have food at every family gathering and celebration. However, if you’re unsure what kind of food to cook or order, discuss with family members first and explore different food experiences together.

Kids who take meals together with family members perform better in school

Research has shown that eating meals with family significantly increases social interaction and helps kids do better in school. A new study revealed that eating together as a family improves children’s grades. Researchers analyzed data from 1500 families with children in the third through fifth grades. Overall, those who ate meals together regularly had 4.8% higher scores on reading and math tests than those who did not eat meals together.

Boosting nutrition

Eating a meal with a friend is known to increase the enjoyment factor of food. Nevertheless, did you know that it could also improve your nutritional intake? In a study conducted by researchers at the University of Bristol, students ate pizza while playing a game together. The participants were more likely to choose healthier toppings and nutrition when eating with friends.

Saving time and money

If you want to eat well, spend less, and save time, then you should consider eating together as a family. In the United States alone, the average household spends $2,500 each year on food eaten in the car. The average family also spends an additional $3,000 per year on gas to drive around and buy food. That’s $5,500 spent on food each year that could be saved by eating together as a family.

Regulation weight problems

Americans are gaining weight, and it’s getting harder to keep off of it. The Center for Disease Control estimates that over two-thirds of Americans are overweight or obese. While the root cause of obesity is difficult to define, one thing that has been proven is that the more often you eat socially with family, friends, or colleagues, the less likely you are to be overweight. Eating together doesn’t just make it easier to control portions and calorie intake. Still, it also creates a sense of community and belonging that is hard to replicate when dining alone. Furthermore, it can ease loneliness. Doctor Michelle May, a gastroenterologist and obesity specialist, suggests eating together with friends and family. Eating together can aid our health, and it can help us make life-long memories. Although eating alone has become a norm in today’s busy world, it isn’t healthy. The more we eat alone, the higher the risk of weight problems.

Final thoughts

Eating together as a family is an effective way to increase communication, improve relationships, and teach children life skills. If you are interested in reaping the benefits of eating together as a family, please follow the above tips and practice them slowly.

Tagged bonding , eating , family , relationship , together

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Family dinner is more than just eating together. Here are 8 reasons to make family dinner a tradition

Do you rarely get to sit down and have a meal with your family? Here's why you should make family dinners a tradition

When Danielle Mascarenhas, a young mom in Bengaluru makes dinner, she always gets her children to help. So, three-year-old Sara peels garlic while seven-year-old Nikhil cuts veggies and greens for mom. Their father Rohan, sets the table and helps clean up, or takes turns to cook. Getting dinner ready makes the children feel all grown up. It is something they really look forward to. But what is more important is that the Mascarenhas couple is giving their children valuable life lessons they see their parents sharing chores; they see love , mutual respect , and care .

Here are a few reasons why family dinners are important:

1. Ideal time of the day

Given the busy pace of life today, dinner is literally the only occasion when the entire family is at home, at the same time. Hence, it is the ideal time to unwind, relax and enjoy each other's company.

Sometimes, it may require juggling schedules and some advance planning, but it is essential that the entire family comes together for dinner.

2. A chance to bond and bolster

Mumbai-based pediatric nutritionist Dr. Neha Sanwalka Rungta stresses that family dinners are a way to connect and build healthy relationships . With both parents working in many households, children often don't get quality time to spend with or, know their parents better. If at least one meal a day is had together, it's great for the parent-child relationship, she stresses. Also, dinners don't just help you bond better, they are also good for the soul.

For instance, the conversation around a shared meal can help increase children's vocabulary , broaden their general knowledge and, improve their social skills.

3. Time for new experiences

You could use the family dinner as an opportunity and an occasion to convert your fussy eater into a happy eater. Dr. Rungta says this is when you should get your children to try new foods as well. She suggests that parents can use family dinners as a time to introduce their children to new tastes. A child is more likely to eat new food, like avocado, if he sees his parents eating the same.

"When children see their parents eating all sorts of foods at the family dinner, they are more likely to choose those foods for themselves. After all, children learn best by example."

Besides, a family dinner is a great way to teach children table etiquette - tell them it is not okay to throw food down, spit food out or, be wasteful. Children can also learn to sit still and not bang cutlery on the table.

4. Focus on cuisine and culture

Family dinners are also a great way to expose your children to traditional family recipes and foods. Dinner could be the opportune time to get your child to sample grandma's special pepper rasam or, her sinfully delicious methi -aloo-parathas made with a special family recipe .

Psychiatrist Dr. Anjali Chhabria , who runs Mindtemple in Mumbai, states that the family dinner can teach children about the staple cuisine that has been prepared in the family for generations.

"In today's world of modern, fusion or molecular cooking, family dinners are the only source of learning about the specialty of their own homes."

Dr. Rungta, on her part, believes that parents should also use family dinners as an occasion to talk about the importance of food, share stories about how food is grown in various parts and also, teach children traditions about food. She says that this will make children curious to explore more food options and thereby eat better.

5. Preparation for real life

Culinary expert and food consultant Rushina Munshaw Ghildiyal , who runs APB Cook Studio in Mumbai, says preparing and planning meals together are wonderful life lessons for children and parents. She feels all children must know or be taught how to cook and safely handle knives, ladles, and kitchen gadgets. These are underrated but essential life skills. For, if children know how to cut, chop and cook, they will always be able to take care of themselves when they grow up, she points out.

"The special Sunday biryani, Nani ka rajma chawal, or Papa wali mutton curry - it is these special family dishes that build memories and create a sense of belonging."

Ghildiyal and her family do weekend cookouts to bond. She says that they prefer staying at home and cooking together, rather than going to malls.

6. Eating healthier together

Not only is the preparation of a family meal a good time to connect, but eating homemade food together also makes you healthier.

According to Dr. Rungta, studies show that children who eat at family dinners tend to choose more fruits and vegetables and less soda and fried foods. This indicates that children eat healthier at family dinners, she points out. Family dinners are also associated with lower BMI and lower metabolic risk in children and parents alike, which may be attributed to lesser consumption of calorie-dense food and better food choices when eating with family, she observes.

7. Opportunity to bond with teens

A family meal assumes even more significance if you have an adolescent at home. It can help bridge the gap between you and your moody teen.

Bengaluru-based psychologist Dr. Sulata Shenoy points out that the family that eats together stays together.

"A family meal like dinner, helps parents to observe their children, be aware of any stress in their lives - as revealed by their dress, mannerisms, speech, and appetite. This will give parents an opportunity to later express their concerns with the child privately."

Family dinners also promote healthy food and portion choices in addition to increasing social-emotional bonding between family members. Ensure that dinner times are pleasant and non-controversial. Even if your teen chooses to remain silent during the meal, make it a point to be observant and open to communication.

8. Time for a digital detox

Having a family meal together is, of course, a positive development. But it is anything but beneficial if both parent and child spend the entire meal staring at a smartphone, digital device, or the television.

So, it is vital that you put down your smartphone and, get your children off devices as well. Instead of focusing on work emails or social media, or allowing your child to play games, make dinner the time for face-to-face conversations.

Of course, it may not be possible to have family dinners every night. Then, make this a tradition one night every week. Or ensure that everyone gets together for shared dinners on the weekends. Doing so will make you and your family immensely richer and healthier, in body, mind, and soul.

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Essay on Family Dinner

Students are often asked to write an essay on Family Dinner in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Family Dinner

What is family dinner.

Family dinner is a time when everyone in the house sits together to eat. It is not just about food, but also about sharing stories and talking to each other. This meal helps family members feel close and spend quality time together.

Benefits of Eating Together

Eating together is good for everyone. It makes family bonds stronger. Kids can learn manners and how to talk to others. Families can talk about their day and make plans together. It’s a time for laughter and joy.

Challenges Families Face

Sometimes, it’s hard to have family dinner because everyone is busy. Parents work, and kids have homework or sports. But trying to eat together even once a week can make a big difference in a family’s life.

Making Family Dinners Fun

To make family dinners fun, everyone can help cook or set the table. You can have theme nights or talk about fun topics. The key is to make everyone feel included and happy to be together at the table.

250 Words Essay on Family Dinner

What is a family dinner.

A family dinner is a meal where all the family members sit and eat together. It is a time when everyone can share their day’s stories and enjoy home-cooked food. This meal is special because it brings the family close and allows them to spend quality time with each other.

Eating together has many good points. It helps family members feel like they belong and are loved. Kids often do better in school when they have regular family dinners. It’s also a chance for parents to teach their children about healthy eating habits. Sharing a meal can make everyone feel happier and more connected.

What Happens at Family Dinners?

At family dinners, people talk, laugh, and sometimes even argue in a friendly way. It’s normal because this is how families solve problems and understand each other better. Parents might talk about their work, while kids might talk about their friends or what they learned in school.

Keeping the Tradition Alive

In today’s busy world, it can be hard to have family dinners. But trying to have them even a few times a week can make a big difference. It doesn’t have to be a fancy meal. What’s important is being together. Some families have rules like no phones at the table, so everyone can focus on the conversation.

In conclusion, family dinners are a wonderful tradition that keeps families connected. They are good for everyone’s heart and mind. By sharing a simple meal, families create memories and bonds that last a lifetime.

500 Words Essay on Family Dinner

A family dinner is a meal where all the members of a family sit and eat together. This meal is often eaten at the end of the day when everyone has finished their work, school, or other activities. The food can be anything from simple dishes to special recipes that the family enjoys. The important part is that everyone is together.

The Food We Eat

At family dinners, the food on the table can be very different from one house to another. Some families might eat pizza, while others might have rice, vegetables, and chicken. Sometimes, families have a special dish that they make only on certain days, like tacos on Tuesdays or fish on Fridays. The type of food is not as important as the act of sharing it with each other.

Talking and Sharing

One of the best things about family dinners is the chance to talk. Parents and children can share what happened during their day. They can tell funny stories, talk about something they learned, or discuss plans for the weekend. This talking helps family members understand each other better and feel close to one another.

Learning Good Manners

Family dinners are also a time for kids to learn good manners. They learn to wait for their turn to get food, say “please” and “thank you,” and not talk with their mouth full. These manners are important for when they eat with other people outside their home, like at a friend’s house or a restaurant.

Helping Out

Everyone in the family can help with dinner. Younger kids can set the table or mix a salad. Older kids might help cook some of the food. After eating, everyone can help clean up. Doing these jobs together makes the work faster and can even be fun.

Problems with Missing Family Dinners

Sometimes, it can be hard to have family dinners. People might be too busy with work, school, or other things. Missing these meals can make family members feel less connected to each other. That is why it is good to try to have family dinners as often as possible.

Solutions for Busy Families

For families that are very busy, there are ways to still have family dinners. One way is to pick a day of the week that is less busy and make sure everyone knows that is the day for family dinner. Another way is to make the dinner simple, so it does not take a lot of time to prepare. Even sitting together for a quick meal is better than not eating together at all.

Family dinners are a special time for everyone in the family. They are a chance to eat good food, talk about the day, and learn important manners. Even when life is busy, finding time to eat together can make a family stronger and happier. It is a simple thing that can make a big difference in everyone’s life.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

Essay on Family Financial Problem
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Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here .

Happy studying!

Multi-family Therapy for Eating Disorders Across the Lifespan

Open access
Published: 06 May 2024

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Julian Baudinet ORCID: orcid.org/0000-0002-7840-4158 1 , 2 &
Ivan Eisler ORCID: orcid.org/0000-0002-8211-7514 1 , 2

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Purpose of Review

This review aims to report on recent evidence for multi-family therapy for eating disorders (MFT) across the lifespan. It is a narrative update of recent systematic, scoping and meta-analytic reviews.

Recent Findings

There has been a recent increase in published theoretical, quantitative and qualitative reports on MFT in the past few years. Recent and emerging data continues to confirm MFT can support eating disorder symptom improvement and weight gain, for those who may need to, for people across the lifespan. It has also been associated with improved comorbid psychiatric symptoms, self-esteem and quality of life. Data are also emerging regarding possible predictors, moderators and mediators of MFT outcomes, as well as qualitative data on perceived change processes. These data suggest families with fewer positive caregiving experiences at the start of treatment may particularly benefit from the MFT context. Additionally, early change in family functioning within MFT may lead to improved outcomes at end of treatment.

MFT is a useful adjunctive treatment across the lifespan for people with eating disorders. It helps to promote change in eating disorder and related difficulties. It has also been shown to support and promote broader family and caregiver functioning.

Toward the Integration of Family Therapy and Family-Based Treatment for Eating Disorders

Life is different now – impacts of eating disorders on Carers in New Zealand: a qualitative study

A systematic review of the impact of carer interventions on outcomes for patients with eating disorders

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Introduction

Multi-family therapy (MFT) is increasingly being implemented in eating disorder services internationally [ 1 •]. MFT models differ significantly depending on the country and service context. What they all have in common is that they are (a) group-based, (b) involve several families working together as part of treatment with the support of a clinical team and, (c) in the context of eating disorders, are most commonly delivered in blocks of several hours or full days of treatment [ 2 , 3 ]. MFT has been described in the mental health literature since the 1960s. The earliest groups described were for people struggling with schizophrenia [ 4 , 5 ], substance misuse [ 6 ] and depression [ 7 , 8 ]. Nowadays, MFT is used internationally to support people with a range of presentations across the lifespan including eating disorders, mood disorders, schizophrenia, addiction and medical illnesses [ 9 ].

MFT for eating disorders was first described for young adults with bulimia nervosa [ 10 ] and anorexia nervosa [ 11 ] in the 1980s. Adolescent-specific MFT models emerged in the 1990s, initially from teams in Germany [ 12 , 13 ] and the UK [ 14 ]. These MFT models integrated the theoretical concepts of eating disorder focused family therapy [ 15 , 16 , 17 , 18 ] with more general concepts of MFT [ 14 , 19 , 20 ].

The overarching aim of current MFT models are to speed up the recovery process by offering brief, intensive support in the early stages of treatment when families are feeling most in need of urgent support. MFT differs from other intensive outpatient treatment options (e.g., day programmes, partial hospitalisation programmes, intensive outpatient treatment, etc.) by being entirely group-based and typically adjunctive to other therapeutic interventions [ 21 ]. By bringing multiple families together, MFT provides an opportunity for them to learn from each other and share experiences with a wider range of people, including others with lived experience [ 13 , 22 ]. This is described as helping to reduce stigma and a sense of isolation [ 23 , 24 ]. The MFT milieu has also been described as a “hot house” learning environment in which it is safe to try out new behaviours and express emotions with increased support [ 19 ]. The collaborative environment of MFT may also help to highlight and address any deleterious staff-patient dynamics that can otherwise hamper treatment engagement and progress [ 13 ].

Several systematic, scoping and meta-analytic reviews have been published on MFT across the lifespan in recent years [ 1 , 25 , 26 ]. MFT Manuals have been produced in English [ 27 , 28 , 29 •, 30 ], French [ 31 ], Swedish [ 32 , 33 ], and German [ 34 ].

Typically, MFT is offered in an outpatient context, although day- and inpatient models have also been described. The briefest MFT models provide three [ 35 ] or five [ 28 , 36 , 37 , 38 , 39 ] consecutive days of MFT offered as a stand-alone intervention. The latter five-day model has been manualised by a team at the University of California, San Diego, and named Temperament-Based Therapy with Support (TBT-S [ 28 ]). Other models, such as the Maudsley model, offer six to ten days of MFT spread across 6–12 months [ 29 •, 40 ]. Others offer up to 20 days or more of MFT [ 41 , 42 , 43 •] spread across a period of 12 months or more. Inpatient MFT models tend to be more heterogeneous. Those described in the literature range from the aforementioned three and five day models to eight-week [ 44 ], 26-week [ 45 ] and 12-month models [ 46 ].

The majority of programmes described in this paper are outpatient child and adolescent MFT models for anorexia nervosa (MFT-AN), although the number of adult studies is growing. Only recently have MFT models specifically for bulimia nervosa (MFT-BN) been developed [ 47 , 48 ]. Several services offer MFT for mixed eating disorder groups [ 36 , 46 , 49 •]. During child and adolescent MFT, parents and siblings are typically invited to attend, whereas adult models may also include partners, other significant people in the participant’s life, and/or parents/caregivers.

This review aims to narratively synthesise key MFT findings and provide an update on new quantitative and qualitative data published since our most recent systematic scoping review [ 1 ]. While the full systematic scoping review process was not repeated, the same search terms and strategy were implemented using the same databases (PsycInfo, Medline, Embase, CENTRAL) with the date range set for April 2021 to the present.

Outpatient Multi-family Therapy Outcomes

Regardless of age or MFT model, the pattern of findings is relatively similar across studies. One outpatient MFT-AN randomized controlled trial (RCT) has been published to date ( N = 169, age range 12–20 years) [ 50 •], although two other RCT protocols have been reported [ 51 , 52 ], suggesting more is to follow. Eisler et al. [ 50 •] randomised participants to 12 months of single-family therapy alone or single-family therapy with the addition of 10 days of adjunctive MFT-AN spread across treatment. Both groups reported significant improvements in weight, eating disorder psychopathology and mood, as well as parent-rated negative aspects of caregiving. Participants who received MFT-AN were significantly more likely to have a better global outcome, using the Morgan Russel outcome criteria [ 53 ], compared to those who received single-family therapy alone. At six-month follow-up (18 months post-randomisation) this difference was no longer significant, however, weight was significantly higher for those who received MFT-AN compared to single-family therapy [ 50 •].

Findings from uncontrolled comparison studies and case series’ confirm MFT is associated with weight gain for those who are underweight [ 43 •, 49 •, 50 •, 54 , 55 , 56 , 57 ] and a reduction in eating disorder symptoms [ 3 , 43 •, 49 •, 50 •, 56 , 57 ].

Meta-analytic review findings suggest a large effect size for weight ( n = 8 studies) and medium effect size for self-reported eating disorder symptoms ( n = 4 studies) from baseline to post-MFT intervention, although no differences were reported between MFT and comparison interventions [ 26 ]. When subgroup analyses of weight outcomes were assessed by age, adolescent MFT was associated with significant weight gain with a large effect (standard mean difference = 1.15, 95% CI = 0.94, 1.36), but adult MFT was not (standard mean difference = 0.18, 95% CI = − 0.09, 0.45). It is worth noting that only three adult studies [ 39 , 45 , 46 ] were included in this analysis, all of which had very different treatment lengths and intensity (range 5 days – 12 months). Two included participants with mixed eating disorder diagnoses [ 39 , 46 ] and one included restrictive eating disorder presentations only [ 45 ]. Only one MFT study across the lifespan in this review did not find a significant improvement in weight during MFT, however, participants ( N = 10) in this study reported significant improvements in eating disorder symptoms and mean BMI at the start of treatment was 20.7 (sd = 3.3, range = 16.0–26.1), which was maintained during treatment [ 45 ].

Regarding broader psycho-social functioning, there is evidence that MFT is associated with improved quality of life [ 56 , 58 ], self-perception and self-image [ 57 ], self-esteem [ 58 , 59 ], reduced caregiver burden [ 54 ], changes in expressed emotion [ 60 ], as well as improved general family functioning [ 39 , 43 •, 61 , 62 ] and communication [ 63 ]. Notably, change in family functioning and expressed emotion are more varied and not consistently reported between studies.

Within the last few years, data are also beginning to emerge regarding possible moderators, mediators and predictors (baseline individual and family factors) of MFT outcomes. Terache et al. [ 43 •] found that MFT was associated with improvements in all aspects of family functioning on the Family Assessment Device [ 64 ], and that two subscales (roles, communication) and the general family functioning score each mediated improvements in some aspects of eating disorder symptomatology measures using the Eating Disorder Inventory, second edition (EDI-II) [ 65 ]. Most notably, an improvement in the clarity of family roles mediated changes in drive for thinness [ 43 •]. However, in the same study, family functioning did not mediate improvements in weight [ 43 •]. In another study, decreases in parental perceived isolation was associated with improved young person physical health and general functioning at the end of treatment [ 54 ].

Regarding baseline predictors of outcome, Funderud et al. [ 49 •] reported that lower baseline weight was not significantly associated with change in eating disorder symptoms or distress. Dennhag et al. [ 54 ] found that baseline maternal level of guilt was associated with poorer end-of-treatment eating disorder symptom outcomes in their case series. Additionally, greater paternal social isolation and perceived burden of dysregulated behaviours was associated with poorer physical health outcomes for the young person at end of treatment [ 54 ].

In a secondary analysis of the Eisler et al. [ 50 •] RCT, six hypothesised moderators of treatment effect were recently explored; (1) age, (2) eating disorder symptom severity, (3) perceived conflict from the 3) young person and (4) parent/caregiver perspective, parent-rated (5) positive and (6) negative experiences of caregiving [ 66 ]. Positive experiences of caregiving significantly moderated treatment effect. Families presenting with fewer parent-rated positive caregiving experiences at baseline had higher weight at follow-up if they had MFT-AN alongside single-family therapy compared to single-family therapy alone. This is striking given consistent findings from three studies that positive caregiving experiences do not change during MFT [ 35 , 50 •, 61 ]. Taken together, these data suggest that MFT-AN may help protect against this impacting outcome for the adolescent, however, it does not seem help improve parental sense of caregiving itself. The findings from this moderator study extend previous findings that weight at commencement of treatment does not seem to impact on outcome [ 49 •] by demonstrating that it also does not seem to moderate treatment effect [ 66 ].

Outcome data for MFT-BN is still very limited, and all data are generated from one outpatient specialist child and adolescent eating disorder clinic, the Maudsley Centre for Child and Adolescent Eating Disorders. Quantitative outcomes ( N = 50) from this 14-week programme consisting of weekly 90 min sessions indicate it is associated with a reduction in binge-purge behaviours, as well as improvements in eating disorder symptoms, anxiety, depression and emotion dysregulation [ 48 ]. Caregiver burden and parental mood also significantly improved in the same study, although level of anxiety in the young person did not [ 48 ]. While promising, more data are needed to confirm MFT-BN’s effectiveness and replicability in different contexts.

Multi-family Therapy Outcomes in Day- and Inpatient Settings

A much smaller amount of data have been reported on for inpatient/day-patient MFT models. Regarding quantitative data, three inpatient (two young person [ 61 , 67 ] and one adult [ 35 ] studies) and one adult day programme MFT study [ 44 ] have been published. All studies compared MFT to another type of treatment, namely, single family therapy [ 35 , 44 , 67 ] or a parent-only group intervention [ 61 ]. Two were small RCTs ( N = 25 [ 67 ], N = 48 [ 35 ]) and the other two used a non-randomised, uncontrolled comparison design.

Regarding outcomes, MFT within intensive treatment settings has been associated with weight gain and eating disorder symptom improvement [ 35 , 44 , 61 ], as well as broader factors such as expressed emotion [ 35 , 44 ], perceived caregiver burden [ 61 ], family member depressive symptoms [ 44 ], carer distress [ 35 ] and family functioning [ 61 ].

Notably, findings are more mixed than in the outpatient context. One study found no change in eating disorder symptoms and a worsening in perceived family functioning, which the authors attributed to increased family insight into their difficulties [ 67 ]. This may reflect the more heterogeneous treatment models tested and the fact that much more intervention is offered alongside MFT in inpatient and day-patient settings, such as other therapeutic group work, meal support, individual and family therapy sessions, etc.

Qualitative Findings and Perceived Change Processes During MFT

Due to the multiple co-occurring family needs and dynamics within MFT, increasingly qualitative studies are being produced to better understand participant, caregiver and clinician experiences of treatment. Based on data generated using observational, individual interviews and focus groups, MFT has been described as challenging and helpful, regardless of model, setting or age [ 1 ]. Specifically, people describe it as promoting understanding, identity development, mentalising and holistic recovery-oriented change [ 47 , 63 , 68 , 69 , 70 , 71 ]. Benefits include participants (particularly caregivers) feeling empowered, more confident and more able to share experiences [ 45 , 72 , 73 , 74 ]. Many also speak of the intensity and comparisons that arise out of the group process, and how this can generate and lead to the expression of strong emotion – described as both a challenge and a benefit [ 62 , 68 ]. Being able to learn and experiment through non-verbal and activity-based tasks has also been described as helpful and unique to MFT [ 68 ].

In the only study exploring the experience of MFT delivered online vs. face-to-face, data were mixed with participants describing both the convenience of online MFT as well as the potential loss of non-verbal communication during online working [ 62 ].

Most recently, qualitative studies have explored how participants and clinicians perceived change to occur within MFT [ 68 , 75 ]. Considering data from these three different perspectives suggests four inter-related elements (1. Intensity and immediacy, 2. Flexibility, 3. Peer connection and comparisons, 4. New ideas and channels of learning) may combine to contain the family system by building trust, engagement, hope and confidence. It seems that from this (re)established secure base, recovery-oriented behaviour change may (re)commence. See Fig. 1 for a proposed model of change in MFT-AN that incorporates data from clinician [ 75 ], young person and parent/caregiver [ 68 ] data. To date, no data have been collected regarding potential change processes in MFT-BN.

Proposed model of change in MFT-AN that incorporates young person, parent/caregiver and clinician perspectives from two recent qualitative studies [ 68 , 75 ]

Within this model (Fig. 1 ), the step of ‘containment’ may reflect the quantitative findings that improved family functioning mediates MFT outcomes [ 43 •]. Qualitative data suggests families need to move from a place of uncertainty and distress to connection to be able to take positive steps forward. This fits closely theoretically with the aspects of family functioning (roles, communication, general family functioning) that mediated outcomes in the Terache et al. [ 43 •] quantitative study. It also supports the idea that MFT (and possibly other intensive treatments) may (re)activate several change processes recently reported for single-family therapy [ 76 ].

These data also fit theoretically with qualitative data on young person and parent experiences of intensive day programme treatment [ 77 , 78 ]. While, day programme treatments are somewhat different from MFT, some do include multi-family elements. Other similarities include the intensity, increased level of support and additional hours of intervention per week. In both settings, the importance of immediacy, intensity and connecting with others are all described by young people and parents/caregivers as key factors in supporting people to (re)engage in less intensive outpatient treatment.

Conclusions

Available data are encouraging and suggest MFT is an effective adjunctive treatment for people with eating disorders across the lifespan. The available data are predominantly focused on adolescent MFT-AN models, specifically. Conclusions are more mixed regarding adult MFT models and MFT-BN. Findings for this review indicate that more is needed to confirm these effects in more diverse and larger groups, and settings. It will be important for future research to begin empirically investigating which components or aspects of MFT are most effective and whether this differs according to individual, family, cultural and service contexts.

Data Availability

No datasets were generated or analysed during the current study.

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Baudinet, J., Eisler, I. Multi-family Therapy for Eating Disorders Across the Lifespan. Curr Psychiatry Rep (2024). https://doi.org/10.1007/s11920-024-01504-5

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Outbreaks of Vibrio Infections
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About Vibrio Infection

Vibrio are bacteria that naturally live in coastal waters.
About a dozen kinds of Vibrio can cause people to get an infection called vibriosis.
People can get vibriosis after swallowing Vibrio or getting it in a wound.
Vibrio infection can be serious. Know when to seek medical care.

A group of three-dimensional oblong-shaped Vibrio parahaemolyticus bacteria.

What are Vibrio ?

Vibrio are bacteria that naturally live in certain coastal waters. They are found in higher numbers in May through October, when water temperatures are warmer.

Coastal waters include salt water and brackish water. Brackish water is a mixture of salt water and fresh water. It is often found where rivers meet the ocean.

What is vibriosis?

About a dozen species (kinds) of Vibrio can cause a human illness called vibriosis. The most common species causing human illness in the United States are

Vibrio parahaemolyticus
Vibrio vulnificus
Vibrio alginolyticus

Keep in mind‎

How do people get vibriosis.

Most people get vibriosis by eating raw or undercooked shellfish, particularly oysters .

Some people get vibriosis after an open wound comes in contact with coastal waters.

How common is vibriosis?

CDC estimates that:

80,000 cases of vibriosis happen each year in the United States.
52,000 cases of vibriosis are the result of eating contaminated food.

Common signs and symptoms of Vibrio infection

Watery diarrhea
Stomach cramps

Signs and symptoms of Vibrio bloodstream infection

Dangerously low blood pressure
Blistering skin lesions

Signs and symptoms of Vibrio wound infection

Discoloration (turning a color other than normal)
Discharge (leaking fluids)

Complications

Some Vibrio species, such as Vibrio vulnificus , can cause severe and life-threatening infections.

Some Vibrio infections lead to necrotizing fasciitis , a severe infection in which the flesh around an open wound dies. Some media reports call Vibrio vulnificus "flesh-eating bacteria." However, public health experts believe group A Streptococcus are the most common cause of necrotizing fasciitis in the United States.

Many people with Vibrio vulnificus infection can get seriously ill and need intensive care or limb amputation. About 1 in 5 people with this infection die, sometimes within a day or two of becoming ill.

When to seek emergency care‎

People at risk.

Anyone can get a Vibrio infection.

Some medical conditions and treatments can increase your risk for infection and severe complications. They include:

Having liver disease, cancer, diabetes, HIV, or thalassemia
Receiving immune-suppressing therapy for the treatment of disease
Taking medicine to decrease stomach acid levels
Having had recent stomach surgery

Some behaviors also can increase your risk of infection. These include:

Eating raw seafood, particularly oysters
Exposing an open wound to coastal waters
Exposing an open wound to raw seafood or its drippings

Diagnosis and testing

Infection is diagnosed when Vibrio are found in the wound, blood, or stool (poop) of an ill person.

If you have signs and symptoms of infection, be sure to tell your healthcare provider if

You recently ate raw or undercooked seafood, especially oysters
Coastal water, including sale water or brackish water
Raw or undercooked seafood or its drippings

Antibiotics are not recommended to treat mild Vibrio infections. People with diarrhea or vomiting should drink plenty of liquids to prevent dehydration. Dehydration is not having enough fluids in the body.

Antibiotics can be used to treat severe or prolonged Vibrio infections.

Vibrio wound infection is treated with antibiotics and surgery to remove dead or infected tissue. Surgery might include amputation.

Vibrio Infection

Some kinds of Vibrio cause an illness called vibriosis. Most people become infected by eating raw or undercooked shellfish, particularly oysters.

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