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Useful Linking Words and Phrases to Use in Your Essays

By: Author Sophia

Posted on Last updated: October 26, 2023

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Linking words and phrases are used to show relationships between ideas. They can be used to join two or more sentences or clauses.

We can use linking words to give a result , add information , summarize , give illustrations , emphasize a point , sequence information , compare or to contrast idea .

Useful Linking Words and Phrases

In this article, you will learn about the most common linking words and phrases:

Useful Linking Words and Phrases

Giving a Result

Usage : To provide the result of what has been stated or has occurred

Linking W ords :

  • As a result
  • As a consequence
  • Consequently
  • For this reason
  • His wife left him.  As a result , he became very depressed.
  • She has lived in France, and  as a consequence  she speaks French fluently.
  • We do not have enough money.  T herefore  we cannot afford to buy the new car.
  • We do not own the building.  Thus , it would be impossible for us to make any major changes to it.
  • There has been a great deal of rain and  consequently  the reservoirs are full.
  • The customer was displeased with her meal,  hence  the chef prepared a replacement.
  • For this reason , they are not a good choice for exterior use.
  • Due to  a broken wing, this bird can’t fly.

Useful Linking Words and Phrases

Adding Information

Usage : To add to what has been previously stated

Linking Words:

  • Additionally / an additional
  • Furthermore
  • As well as that
  • In addition
  • In addition to this
  • Apart from this
  • Additionally , the bus service will run on Sundays, every two hours.
  • He said he had not discussed the matter with her.  Furthermore , he had not even contacted her.
  • We are unable to repair this watch.  Also , this is the fourth time this has happened.
  • I love wearing earrings. I design and make them  too .
  • We went to the park today.  As well as that , we did some shopping.
  • Along with  parties and parliaments, elections have lost their charm.
  • I can’t afford to go to the concert.  Besides , I don’t really like classical music.
  • You haven’t paid the rent yet.   In addition , you owe me money.
  • The report is badly presented.  Moreover , it contains inaccuracies.
  • John’s grades are terrible because he has been so lazy these days.  In addition to this , his relationship to his parents got worse.
  • Apart from this  paragraph, the report contains a number of sensible initiatives.

Adding information

Summarizing

Usage : To sump up what has been previously stated

Linking words :

  • In conclusion
  • To summarize
  • To conclude
  • In conclusion , walking is a cheap, safe, enjoyable and readily available form of exercise.
  • To summarize , this is a clever approach to a common problem.
  • The food was good and we loved the music.  Altogether  it was a great evening.
  • His novels belong to a great but vanished age. They are,  in short , old-fashioned.
  • To sum up , there are three main ways of tackling the problem…
  • In summary , this was a disappointing performance.
  • Briefly , our team is now one of the best in the world.
  • To conclude , I want to wish you all a very happy holiday season.

Giving Examples

Usage : To provide examples

Linking words:

  • For example/ For instance
  • In this case
  • Proof of this
  • There are many interesting places to visit in the city,  for example / for instance , the botanical garden or the art museum.
  • I prefer to wear casual clothes,  such as  jeans and a sweatshirt.
  • Including  Christmas Day and Boxing Day, I’ve got a week off work.
  • We need to concentrate on our target audience,  namely  women aged between 20 and 30.
  • I think I would have made a difference  in this case .
  • This building are a living  proof of this  existence, so we must preserve it.
  • I also make other jewellery  like  rings and bracelets.

Emphasizing a Point

Usage : To put forward a point or idea more forcefully

  • Undoubtedly
  • Particularly / in particular
  • Importantly
  • Without a doubt
  • It should be noted
  • Unquestionably
  • Undoubtedly , the story itself is one of the main attractions.
  • I don’t mind at all.  Indeed , I would be delighted to help.
  • Obviously , we don’t want to spend too much money.
  • I love silver earrings,  in particular  ones from Mexico
  • The car is quite small,  especially  if you have children.
  • Clearly , this will cost a lot more than we realized.
  • More importantly , can he be trusted?
  • He’s an  absolutely  brilliant cook.
  • I  definitely  remember sending the letter.
  • We still believe we can win this series  without a doubt .
  • I’m  neve r  surprised at what I do.
  • It should be noted  that   if you have something to note, then note it
  • Unquestionably , teaching has been a paramount part of his career.
  • Above all , this forest is designed for wear and tear.
  • This is  positively  the worst thing that I can even imagine.

Useful Linking Words and Phrases

Sequencing Ideas

Usage : To indicate the order of what is being said

  • First/ firstly (Second/ secondly, Third/ thirdly, Finally)
  • At this time
  • Subsequently
  • Lastly and most importantly
  • Last but not least
  • First and foremost
  • Firstly , I prefer the train because I can see the landscape.
  • At this time , the young man leapt into the air and flew off towards sunset.
  • They arrived on Monday evening and we got there the  following  day.
  • I had visited them three days  previously .
  • Your name is  before  mine on the list.
  • Subsequently , new guidelines were issued to all employees.
  • Above all , keep in touch.
  • Lastly, and most importantly , you should be optimistic.
  • Last but not least , I find I seriously cannot relate to women.
  • We will continue to focus on our players  first and foremost .

Sequencing Ideas

Comparing Ideas

Usage:  To show how things are similar

  • Compare / compare(d) to(with)
  • By the same token
  • In the same way
  • Correspondingly
  • Similarly , the basketball and hockey games draw nearly full attendance.
  • Equally , not all customers are honest.
  • Her second marriage was  likewise  unhappy.
  • She’s  just as  smart as her sister.
  • Working with housecats is  just like  working with lions or tigers.
  • Some people say I have a running style  similar to  him.
  • Having a power is not  the same as  using the power.
  • He gets the ball off quickly  compared to  two years ago.
  • Teenagers should be more respectful;  by the same token , parents should be more understanding.
  • Alex enjoys telling jokes;  in the same way/similarly/likewise ,his son adores funny stories.
  • Correspondingly , the roles each of them played were soon different.

Contrasting Ideas

Usage : To show how things are different

  • Nevertheless
  • On the other hand
  • Nonetheless
  • Despite / in spite of
  • In contrast (to)
  • Alternatively
  • Differing from
  • Contrary to
  • Unlike  most systems, this one is very easy to install.
  • There is little chance that we will succeed in changing the law.  Nevertheless , it is important that we try.
  • Laptops are convenient;  O n the other hand , they can be expensive.
  • The problems are not serious.  Nonetheless , we shall need to tackle them soon.
  • Despite/ In spite of  the rain, I went for a walk.
  • In contrast to  the diligent bee, the butterfly flies hither and yon with no apparent purpose.
  • The agency will make travel arrangements for you.  Alternatively , you can organize your own transport.
  • Northern European countries had a great summer.  On the contrary/conversely , Southern Europe had poor weather.
  • Even so , many old friends were shocked at the announcement.
  • Differing from  his white colleagues, he preferred instructing his scholars to the ambition of acquiring personal renown.
  • The situation in Ireland is quite  contrary to  this principle.

Useful Linking Words and Phrases

Linking Words for Essays | Images

Below is a handy list of words that are both useful and appropriate to academic language:

Linking Words for Essays

Other linking words to give an example or an illustration:

  • In  this  case,
  • In  another  case
  • Take  the  case  of
  • To  illustrate
  • As  an
  • Illustration
  • To  take  another  example
  • That  is
  • As  shown  by
  • As  illustrated  by
  • As expressed by

Linking Words for Essays

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Art Of Smart Education

How to Write a Linking Sentence for Your Essay Paragraphs

Notebook and pen on a table - How to write a linking sentence

Working on your essay but feeling stumped about how to go about writing a linking sentence? Not sure how to transition smoothly to your next paragraph?

Whatever it may be, we’re here to help you out! We’ll break down what a linking sentence is, how to use one, and how to build your confidence using one for essay-writing.

Scroll down to keep reading!

What is a Linking Sentence? Step 1: Choose your linking word and phrases Step 2: Linking within paragraphs Step 3: Linking to a new section 

What is a Linking Sentence?

Put simply, a linking sentence is a sentence that relates to the main idea of your essay, namely your topic sentence.

Check out our tips for writing a topic sentence !

Linking sentences are important for the structure of your essay, ensuring that your paragraphs are cohesive and linking together one idea to another to create a fully formed argument. As such, linking sentences help to keep your essay clear and cohesive by explicitly highlighting the relationship between paragraphs.

Let’s get into how to use linking sentences in your essays!

Step 1: Choose your linking word and phrases

Linking words and phrases comes in all shapes and forms to communicate different types of relationships between ideas. Here are a few useful linking words and phrases to keep handy when it comes time to write your essays:

Addition and emphasis If you want to show that the sentence builds on the previous one: Moreover Furthermore In addition In particular Undoubtedly
Cause and effect If you want to communicate consequences and the reasons behind them: As a result Therefore Thus Consequently Due to
Contrast If you want to express differences in ideas: However Nevertheless On the contrary In contrast Yet
Comparison If you want to highlight the similarities or differences between something:   Similarly   Likewise   Compared to   Just as   Also

Step 2: Linking within paragraphs

Now that we’ve categorised common types of linking words and phrases, it’s time to look at how this would come together to create a cohesive paragraph. Linking words in a paragraph help you to connect different points without confusing your reader.

Let’s look at an excerpt from a King Lear essay:

Within the very first interactions of King Lear , it is revealed to the audience that Gloucester has two sons, one of which is illegitimate. The line, ‘I thought the king had more affected the Duke of Albany than Cornwall’, is a subtle foreshadowing of the play’s central idea: the dynamics shared between parent and child. However, Shakespeare throws the audience askew with the discovery that Gloucester does not favour his legitimate son, evident through the line, ‘some year elder than this, who yet is no dearer in my account’. As a result, the conflict between Gloucester and Edgar reinforces the recurring idea of love as a measurement; a test that needs to be passed.

In this line, the use of ‘however’ is a linking word that signals to the readers a contrast from the previous line and highlights a juxtaposition.

The next sentence beginning with ‘as a result’ describes the effect of the previous line and what result it creates.

Studying King Lear at the moment? Check out our guide to analysing King Lear to ace your English !

Step 3: Linking to a new section 

Using linking words within a paragraph is easy to get the hang of once you know your intent but linking to a new section can be a little tricker.

Linking to a new section of your essay means that you will need to summarise your previous paragraph and either build or depart from that idea to fit with the main argument of your essay.

As we mentioned before, your linking sentence will tie in with your topic sentence, as this is the sentence that begins your paragraph and will lead your argument. 

Here is an example of a leading sentence:  

Building upon her analysis of poverty’s influence on individual and collective notions of identity, Walker explores the complexity of classism by considering its potential for personal growth.

Although we cannot see the previous paragraph, this linking sentence makes it clear that this paragraph will discuss classism and personal growth and relates to the previous paragraph’s analysis of poverty .

This linking sentence shows that the new paragraph complements the previous paragraph by providing information that supports the idea of social status influencing individual and collective identity.

Find out how to find quotes and the rules to properly use quotes in your English Essay !

On the hunt for more essay resources?

Check out some of our other articles below:

How to Write a Well-Structured PEEL Paragraph for Your English Essays

  • How to Write a PETAL Paragraph for Your English Essay
  • How to Write a STEEL paragraph and Why You Should Be Using Them in Your Essays

How to Elevate Your Essays in English Using the ‘Thesis + 3’ Technique

  • How to Make Your Essay Stand Out in HSC English with a Strong Thesis Statement
  • How to Write a Band 6 HSC English Essay

Looking for some extra help with how to write a linking sentence?

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Ashley Sullivan is a Content Writer for Art of Smart Education and is currently undertaking a double degree in Communications (Journalism) and a Bachelor of Laws at UTS. Ashley’s articles have been published in The Comma and Central News. She is a film, fashion and fiction enthusiast who enjoys learning about philosophy, psychology and unsolved mysteries in her spare time.

  • Topics: ✏️ English , ✍️ Learn

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75 linking words for academic writing (+examples)

Featured blog post image for 75 linking words for academic writing (+examples)

Linking words play an important role in academic writing: They connect different paragraphs, sections or ideas in a text. Therefore, they considerably improve the readability and argumentation of academic texts such as a thesis, dissertation, essay or journal publication. This list of 75 linking words includes examples of how they can be used in academic writing.

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase using the links below at no additional cost to you . I only recommend products or services that I truly believe can benefit my audience. As always, my opinions are my own.

Linking words expressing order and sequence in academic writing

Example: The thesis starts with a literature review. Next, I describe the case study design.

Example: Before scientists discovered the role of neurons in information processing, they assumed that…

Linking words expressing additions in academic writing

Example: Scholars utilise qualitative as well as quantitative methods to study this phenomenon.

Linking words expressing cause and effect in academic writing

Example: This theory was ultimately rejected because it was built on a flawed dataset.

Example: The literature highlights the importance of age and physical fitness. Consequently, these factors will be investigated further.

Linking words expressing contrasts and comparisons in academic writing

Example: Although a confidentiality agreement was provided, study participants were hesitant to disclose private information.

Example: One study found that the majority of residents in disadvantaged areas do not have access to sufficient resources. Similarly, my research revealed that most residents live too far away from the services and resources they would need to climb the social ladder.

Linking words expressing emphasis in academic writing

Example: Particularly relevant for this study is the molecular orbital theory.

Example: More importantly, the findings underscore the importance of conflict resolution.

Linking words expressing illustrations in academic writing

Example: Difficulties arise when no study participants can be found. In this case, alternative methods should be considered.

Linking words expressing summaries and conclusions in academic writing

Example: Energy supply became a growing problem. Thus, new policies were implemented.

Linking words expressing conditionality in academic writing

Example: Even if more experiments are conducted, human behaviour remains hard to predict.

Linking words expressing generalisations in academic writing

Linking words expressing concessions in academic writing, master academia, get new content delivered directly to your inbox, how to paraphrase a quote: 4 simple strategies, the best coursera courses for phd researchers in 2023, related articles, how to develop an awesome phd timeline step-by-step, how to benefit from chatgpt as an academic, clever strategies to keep up with the latest academic research.

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Linking Words for Essay Writing: Useful Paragraph Phrases

Linking Words for Essay Writing: Useful Paragraph Phrases

Importance of Linking Words in Essay Writing

Importance of Linking Words in Essay Writing

An essay is an important piece of writing when a student is seeking college admission. It needs to have a clear flow so that the readability is perfect. Rightly so, the sentences you construct need to flow and lead to each other seamlessly.

Linking or transition words come in handy to make your essay have comprehensible sentences.  The words act as the ideal connectors and bridges that eliminate sentence isolation.

essay link examples

Factually, both writing and speaking need linking words that will help the audience form a clear relationship between ideas. Listeners and readers are able to comprehend responses when the right linking words are in place.

What are Linking Words in Essay Writing?

Linking words are the uniformity basis of an essay. When these words are in an essay, they showcase a connection between sentences. As usual, a typical essay consists of different sections and paragraphs.

linking words+examples

If there are no transition words, the sentences will appear incoherent and messy. The use of linking words clearly show the relationship existing between all sections and paragraphs in an essay.

When writing your essay, make use of linking words as a bridge between the concepts you are writing and ideas in your essay. The readers will enjoy a cohesive piece of essay with texts that are flowing smoothly.

The assessment team has a lot of essays to read and you can make their work easy by using your linking words appropriately. If this is not the case, your professor will have to go through a lot of stress in trying to understand your essay.

Basically, if you want to impress your readers and consequently improve your scores, practice the best linking words skills.

People Also Read: A Guide for Buying a College Essay: Without Being Caught

Reasons for Using Linking Words in Essay Writing

Only proper usage of linking words will help you come up with a compelling essay. After toiling to conduct research for your essay, improper structure of sentences will make your efforts go to waste. 

using linking words

Good students endeavor and strive to create an appealing and expressive essay. A thorough use of the right linking words will make your presentation and persuasion of ideas flow perfectly.

Linking words are very crucial in any type of essay . If you do not want your texts to appear clucky, transition words ought to be in place.

 Here are more reasons why you need linking words in your essay:

1. Flow of Order and Sequence

An essay needs flow of texts, ideas and thoughts otherwise it will lose its quality. Therefore, writers need to make huge efforts and use the right linking words that will bring a sequence of order in the essay.

Such words include next, then, firstly, secondly, afterwards, finally and afterwards. Other transition words to use include concurrently, at the same time, earlier, first of all, following this and for now.

A good sequence order in your essay is also enhanced when you use words such as lastly, in the end, in the beginning or once upon a time.

2. Showcasing Comparison        

There are essays that will require the writer to show comparison. Linking words play an important role in contrast and argumentative essays .

If you need to bring out comparison clearly, consider the use of words such as similarly, equally, comparable, in the same time and likewise.

 Apart from same as, other words or phrases to use include just like, just as and comparably.

3. Contrasting

a contrasting sentence

Transition words are the best when you want to bring out contrast in a sentence. In most of the cases, place then at the beginning or in the middle of your sentence to create the right contrast.

However, despite this, yet, whereas and alternatively are some of the words you can use.

4. Illustration of Examples

There are places in your essay where you will have to give examples. Obviously, most essays will need illustration of evidence with the use of linking words.

Giving examples without these words will make your text to sound blunt.

Linking words such as for instance, in the case of, and for instance will make it easy to introduce your examples.

5. Including Additions

You will also need to use linking words when putting additions in your essays. These words will ensure that you have added a txt with the correct meaning to your essay.

Furthermore, also, secondly, in addition and moreover are some of the linking words to use.

6. Introduction of Cause and Effects

Cause and effects in an essay can help the writer draw a sensible conclusion. In essence, it helps to bring about good connection of the essay when a conclusion is being added. Therefore, the relationship between cause and effect is better shown using the right linking words.

Owing to, thus, since, as a result of and because are some of the transition words you can use. Other words to use include stems from, leads to, results from, for this reason etc.

7. For Conclusion Purposes

Starting an impressive essay can only be better if the conclusion is attractive. It is good to bring about the conclusion using appropriate linking words that are not common.

You can conclude your essay using words such as finally, in conclusion, summarizing, in summary and briefly. 

As a writer, you need to bear in mind that adjusting and positioning these words is a must if you are to impress your readers.

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Conclusion linking words

Dos of Using Linking Words

  • Adjust and position your linking words properly otherwise the reader will not be impressed.
  • Do mix up the linking words you use.  Using one word several times can be very annoying to the reader. Since the transition phrases are many, mix them up in your essay to avoid repetition.
  • Be accurate in using these words when connecting your ideas in an essay. Know the difference between these phrases to understand the meaning correctly.
  • You can use these words when you want to accentuate a point. In other words, use them to stress something important in your writing.

30 Examples of Linking Words for Essay Writing

  • On the flipside
  • On the contrary
  • By and large   
  • As a consequence of
  • In conclusion
  • Following this
  • At this point of time
  • In the same way
  • As an example
  • In other words
  • To put it differently
  • Under the circumstances
  • That is to say
  • With this intention
  • Subsequently
  • In order to
  • Of less importance
  • What’s more
  • Furthermore
  • Alternatively
  • In spite of
  • To illustrate
  • To demonstrate
  • In the middle of
  • For the avoidance of doubt

People Also Read: How to write an Informal Essay: All you need to know

Wrapping Up on Linking words on Essay Writing

You can’t overlook the significance of linking words in essay writing. Transition words are important in bringing ideas together so that they appear as a whole in your essay.

All in all, an essay that flows well must incorporate the right transition words to link arguments and actions. The readers will be able to connect an event that took place because of a consequence of a different action.

Essays need to have a flow of ideas with each one building on the other. Yet still, organization of thoughts in essay writing is valuable and this is where linking words play a critical role.

To sum it up, the more your thoughts are in good organization, the smoother your essay will flow. When you use linking words appropriately, your piece will have a logical structure that is appealing to the reader.

Josh Jasen

When not handling complex essays and academic writing tasks, Josh is busy advising students on how to pass assignments. In spare time, he loves playing football or walking with his dog around the park.

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How to structure paragraphs using the PEEL method

Sophia Gardner

Sep 1, 2023

You may have heard of the acronym PEEL for essays, but what exactly does it mean? And how can it help you? We’re here to explain it all, plus give you some tips on how to nail your next essay.

There’s certainly an art to writing essays. If you haven’t written one for a while, or if you would like to hone your academic writing skills, the PEEL paragraph method is an easy way to get your point across in a clear and concise way, that is easily digestible to the reader. 

So, what exactly is PEEL ? 

okeykat-lfubXm-MW0U-unsplash-1

The PEEL paragraph method is a technique used in writing to help structure paragraphs in a way that presents a single clear and focused argument, which links back to the essay topic or thesis statement. 

It’s good practice to dedicate each paragraph to  one  aspect of your argument, and the PEEL structure simplifies this for you.

It allows you to create a paragraph that is easy and accessible for others to understand. Remember, when you’re writing something, it’s not just you who is reading it - you need to consider the reader and how they are going to be digesting this new information. 

What does PEEL stand for? 

P = Point: start your paragraph with a clear topic sentence that establishes what your paragraph is going to be about. Your point should support your essay argument or thesis statement.

E = Evidence/Example: here you should use a piece of evidence or an example that helps to reaffirm your initial point and develop the argument. 

E = Explain: next you need to explain exactly how your evidence/example supports your point, giving further information to ensure that your reader understands its relevance.

L = Link: to finish the paragraph off, you need to link the point you’ve just made back to your essay question, topic, or thesis.

Download a free PEEL paragraph planner below. 👇

Download a free PEEL Planner

Studiosity English specialist Ellen, says says students often underestimate the importance of a well-structured paragraph. 

PEEL in practice

Here’s an example of what you might include in a PEEL structured paragraph: 

Topic: Should infants be given iPads?  Thesis/argument: Infants should not be given iPads.

Point : Infants should not be given iPads, because studies show children under two can face developmental delays if they are exposed to too much screen time. 

Evidence/Example: A recent paediatric study showed that infants who are exposed to too much screen time may experience delays in speech development.

Explanation: The reason infants are facing these delays is because screen time is replacing other key developmental activities.

Link: The evidence suggests that infants who have a lot of screen time experience negative consequences in their speech development, and therefore they should not be exposed to iPads at such a young age.

Once you’ve written your PEEL paragraph, do a checklist to ensure you have covered off all four elements of the PEEL structure. Your point should be a clear introduction to the argument you are making in this paragraph; your example or evidence should be strong and relevant (ask yourself, have you chosen the best example?); your explanation should be demonstrate why your evidence is important and how it conveys meaning; and your link should summarise the point you’ve just made and link back to the broader essay argument or topic. 

andrew-neel-ute2XAFQU2I-unsplash

Keep your paragraphs clear, focused, and not too long. If you find your paragraphs are getting lengthy, take a look at how you could split them into multiple paragraphs, and ensure you’re creating a new paragraph for each new idea you introduce to the essay. 

Finally, it’s important to always proofread your paragraph. Read it once, twice, and then read it again. Check your paragraph for spelling, grammar, language and sentence flow. A good way to do this is to read it aloud to yourself, and if it sounds clunky or unclear, consider rewriting it. 

That’s it! We hope this helps explain the PEEL method and how it can help you with your next essay. 😊

You might also like:  Proofreading vs editing: what's the difference? How to get easy marks in an exam 5 study hacks that actually work

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  • Example of a great essay | Explanations, tips & tricks

Example of a Great Essay | Explanations, Tips & Tricks

Published on February 9, 2015 by Shane Bryson . Revised on July 23, 2023 by Shona McCombes.

This example guides you through the structure of an essay. It shows how to build an effective introduction , focused paragraphs , clear transitions between ideas, and a strong conclusion .

Each paragraph addresses a single central point, introduced by a topic sentence , and each point is directly related to the thesis statement .

As you read, hover over the highlighted parts to learn what they do and why they work.

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Other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about writing an essay, an appeal to the senses: the development of the braille system in nineteenth-century france.

The invention of Braille was a major turning point in the history of disability. The writing system of raised dots used by visually impaired people was developed by Louis Braille in nineteenth-century France. In a society that did not value disabled people in general, blindness was particularly stigmatized, and lack of access to reading and writing was a significant barrier to social participation. The idea of tactile reading was not entirely new, but existing methods based on sighted systems were difficult to learn and use. As the first writing system designed for blind people’s needs, Braille was a groundbreaking new accessibility tool. It not only provided practical benefits, but also helped change the cultural status of blindness. This essay begins by discussing the situation of blind people in nineteenth-century Europe. It then describes the invention of Braille and the gradual process of its acceptance within blind education. Subsequently, it explores the wide-ranging effects of this invention on blind people’s social and cultural lives.

Lack of access to reading and writing put blind people at a serious disadvantage in nineteenth-century society. Text was one of the primary methods through which people engaged with culture, communicated with others, and accessed information; without a well-developed reading system that did not rely on sight, blind people were excluded from social participation (Weygand, 2009). While disabled people in general suffered from discrimination, blindness was widely viewed as the worst disability, and it was commonly believed that blind people were incapable of pursuing a profession or improving themselves through culture (Weygand, 2009). This demonstrates the importance of reading and writing to social status at the time: without access to text, it was considered impossible to fully participate in society. Blind people were excluded from the sighted world, but also entirely dependent on sighted people for information and education.

In France, debates about how to deal with disability led to the adoption of different strategies over time. While people with temporary difficulties were able to access public welfare, the most common response to people with long-term disabilities, such as hearing or vision loss, was to group them together in institutions (Tombs, 1996). At first, a joint institute for the blind and deaf was created, and although the partnership was motivated more by financial considerations than by the well-being of the residents, the institute aimed to help people develop skills valuable to society (Weygand, 2009). Eventually blind institutions were separated from deaf institutions, and the focus shifted towards education of the blind, as was the case for the Royal Institute for Blind Youth, which Louis Braille attended (Jimenez et al, 2009). The growing acknowledgement of the uniqueness of different disabilities led to more targeted education strategies, fostering an environment in which the benefits of a specifically blind education could be more widely recognized.

Several different systems of tactile reading can be seen as forerunners to the method Louis Braille developed, but these systems were all developed based on the sighted system. The Royal Institute for Blind Youth in Paris taught the students to read embossed roman letters, a method created by the school’s founder, Valentin Hauy (Jimenez et al., 2009). Reading this way proved to be a rather arduous task, as the letters were difficult to distinguish by touch. The embossed letter method was based on the reading system of sighted people, with minimal adaptation for those with vision loss. As a result, this method did not gain significant success among blind students.

Louis Braille was bound to be influenced by his school’s founder, but the most influential pre-Braille tactile reading system was Charles Barbier’s night writing. A soldier in Napoleon’s army, Barbier developed a system in 1819 that used 12 dots with a five line musical staff (Kersten, 1997). His intention was to develop a system that would allow the military to communicate at night without the need for light (Herron, 2009). The code developed by Barbier was phonetic (Jimenez et al., 2009); in other words, the code was designed for sighted people and was based on the sounds of words, not on an actual alphabet. Barbier discovered that variants of raised dots within a square were the easiest method of reading by touch (Jimenez et al., 2009). This system proved effective for the transmission of short messages between military personnel, but the symbols were too large for the fingertip, greatly reducing the speed at which a message could be read (Herron, 2009). For this reason, it was unsuitable for daily use and was not widely adopted in the blind community.

Nevertheless, Barbier’s military dot system was more efficient than Hauy’s embossed letters, and it provided the framework within which Louis Braille developed his method. Barbier’s system, with its dashes and dots, could form over 4000 combinations (Jimenez et al., 2009). Compared to the 26 letters of the Latin alphabet, this was an absurdly high number. Braille kept the raised dot form, but developed a more manageable system that would reflect the sighted alphabet. He replaced Barbier’s dashes and dots with just six dots in a rectangular configuration (Jimenez et al., 2009). The result was that the blind population in France had a tactile reading system using dots (like Barbier’s) that was based on the structure of the sighted alphabet (like Hauy’s); crucially, this system was the first developed specifically for the purposes of the blind.

While the Braille system gained immediate popularity with the blind students at the Institute in Paris, it had to gain acceptance among the sighted before its adoption throughout France. This support was necessary because sighted teachers and leaders had ultimate control over the propagation of Braille resources. Many of the teachers at the Royal Institute for Blind Youth resisted learning Braille’s system because they found the tactile method of reading difficult to learn (Bullock & Galst, 2009). This resistance was symptomatic of the prevalent attitude that the blind population had to adapt to the sighted world rather than develop their own tools and methods. Over time, however, with the increasing impetus to make social contribution possible for all, teachers began to appreciate the usefulness of Braille’s system (Bullock & Galst, 2009), realizing that access to reading could help improve the productivity and integration of people with vision loss. It took approximately 30 years, but the French government eventually approved the Braille system, and it was established throughout the country (Bullock & Galst, 2009).

Although Blind people remained marginalized throughout the nineteenth century, the Braille system granted them growing opportunities for social participation. Most obviously, Braille allowed people with vision loss to read the same alphabet used by sighted people (Bullock & Galst, 2009), allowing them to participate in certain cultural experiences previously unavailable to them. Written works, such as books and poetry, had previously been inaccessible to the blind population without the aid of a reader, limiting their autonomy. As books began to be distributed in Braille, this barrier was reduced, enabling people with vision loss to access information autonomously. The closing of the gap between the abilities of blind and the sighted contributed to a gradual shift in blind people’s status, lessening the cultural perception of the blind as essentially different and facilitating greater social integration.

The Braille system also had important cultural effects beyond the sphere of written culture. Its invention later led to the development of a music notation system for the blind, although Louis Braille did not develop this system himself (Jimenez, et al., 2009). This development helped remove a cultural obstacle that had been introduced by the popularization of written musical notation in the early 1500s. While music had previously been an arena in which the blind could participate on equal footing, the transition from memory-based performance to notation-based performance meant that blind musicians were no longer able to compete with sighted musicians (Kersten, 1997). As a result, a tactile musical notation system became necessary for professional equality between blind and sighted musicians (Kersten, 1997).

Braille paved the way for dramatic cultural changes in the way blind people were treated and the opportunities available to them. Louis Braille’s innovation was to reimagine existing reading systems from a blind perspective, and the success of this invention required sighted teachers to adapt to their students’ reality instead of the other way around. In this sense, Braille helped drive broader social changes in the status of blindness. New accessibility tools provide practical advantages to those who need them, but they can also change the perspectives and attitudes of those who do not.

Bullock, J. D., & Galst, J. M. (2009). The Story of Louis Braille. Archives of Ophthalmology , 127(11), 1532. https://​doi.org/10.1001/​archophthalmol.2009.286.

Herron, M. (2009, May 6). Blind visionary. Retrieved from https://​eandt.theiet.org/​content/​articles/2009/05/​blind-visionary/.

Jiménez, J., Olea, J., Torres, J., Alonso, I., Harder, D., & Fischer, K. (2009). Biography of Louis Braille and Invention of the Braille Alphabet. Survey of Ophthalmology , 54(1), 142–149. https://​doi.org/10.1016/​j.survophthal.2008.10.006.

Kersten, F.G. (1997). The history and development of Braille music methodology. The Bulletin of Historical Research in Music Education , 18(2). Retrieved from https://​www.jstor.org/​stable/40214926.

Mellor, C.M. (2006). Louis Braille: A touch of genius . Boston: National Braille Press.

Tombs, R. (1996). France: 1814-1914 . London: Pearson Education Ltd.

Weygand, Z. (2009). The blind in French society from the Middle Ages to the century of Louis Braille . Stanford: Stanford University Press.

If you want to know more about AI tools , college essays , or fallacies make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples or go directly to our tools!

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An essay is a focused piece of writing that explains, argues, describes, or narrates.

In high school, you may have to write many different types of essays to develop your writing skills.

Academic essays at college level are usually argumentative : you develop a clear thesis about your topic and make a case for your position using evidence, analysis and interpretation.

The structure of an essay is divided into an introduction that presents your topic and thesis statement , a body containing your in-depth analysis and arguments, and a conclusion wrapping up your ideas.

The structure of the body is flexible, but you should always spend some time thinking about how you can organize your essay to best serve your ideas.

Your essay introduction should include three main things, in this order:

  • An opening hook to catch the reader’s attention.
  • Relevant background information that the reader needs to know.
  • A thesis statement that presents your main point or argument.

The length of each part depends on the length and complexity of your essay .

A thesis statement is a sentence that sums up the central point of your paper or essay . Everything else you write should relate to this key idea.

A topic sentence is a sentence that expresses the main point of a paragraph . Everything else in the paragraph should relate to the topic sentence.

At college level, you must properly cite your sources in all essays , research papers , and other academic texts (except exams and in-class exercises).

Add a citation whenever you quote , paraphrase , or summarize information or ideas from a source. You should also give full source details in a bibliography or reference list at the end of your text.

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Bryson, S. (2023, July 23). Example of a Great Essay | Explanations, Tips & Tricks. Scribbr. Retrieved June 12, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/academic-essay/example-essay-structure/

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How to write an essay introduction | 4 steps & examples, academic paragraph structure | step-by-step guide & examples, how to write topic sentences | 4 steps, examples & purpose, what is your plagiarism score.

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Sat / act prep online guides and tips, 177 college essay examples for 11 schools + expert analysis.

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College Admissions , College Essays

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The personal statement might just be the hardest part of your college application. Mostly this is because it has the least guidance and is the most open-ended. One way to understand what colleges are looking for when they ask you to write an essay is to check out the essays of students who already got in—college essays that actually worked. After all, they must be among the most successful of this weird literary genre.

In this article, I'll go through general guidelines for what makes great college essays great. I've also compiled an enormous list of 100+ actual sample college essays from 11 different schools. Finally, I'll break down two of these published college essay examples and explain why and how they work. With links to 177 full essays and essay excerpts , this article is a great resource for learning how to craft your own personal college admissions essay!

What Excellent College Essays Have in Common

Even though in many ways these sample college essays are very different from one other, they do share some traits you should try to emulate as you write your own essay.

Visible Signs of Planning

Building out from a narrow, concrete focus. You'll see a similar structure in many of the essays. The author starts with a very detailed story of an event or description of a person or place. After this sense-heavy imagery, the essay expands out to make a broader point about the author, and connects this very memorable experience to the author's present situation, state of mind, newfound understanding, or maturity level.

Knowing how to tell a story. Some of the experiences in these essays are one-of-a-kind. But most deal with the stuff of everyday life. What sets them apart is the way the author approaches the topic: analyzing it for drama and humor, for its moving qualities, for what it says about the author's world, and for how it connects to the author's emotional life.

Stellar Execution

A killer first sentence. You've heard it before, and you'll hear it again: you have to suck the reader in, and the best place to do that is the first sentence. Great first sentences are punchy. They are like cliffhangers, setting up an exciting scene or an unusual situation with an unclear conclusion, in order to make the reader want to know more. Don't take my word for it—check out these 22 first sentences from Stanford applicants and tell me you don't want to read the rest of those essays to find out what happens!

A lively, individual voice. Writing is for readers. In this case, your reader is an admissions officer who has read thousands of essays before yours and will read thousands after. Your goal? Don't bore your reader. Use interesting descriptions, stay away from clichés, include your own offbeat observations—anything that makes this essay sounds like you and not like anyone else.

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Technical correctness. No spelling mistakes, no grammar weirdness, no syntax issues, no punctuation snafus—each of these sample college essays has been formatted and proofread perfectly. If this kind of exactness is not your strong suit, you're in luck! All colleges advise applicants to have their essays looked over several times by parents, teachers, mentors, and anyone else who can spot a comma splice. Your essay must be your own work, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting help polishing it.

And if you need more guidance, connect with PrepScholar's expert admissions consultants . These expert writers know exactly what college admissions committees look for in an admissions essay and chan help you craft an essay that boosts your chances of getting into your dream school.

Check out PrepScholar's Essay Editing and Coaching progra m for more details!

Want to write the perfect college application essay?   We can help.   Your dedicated PrepScholar Admissions counselor will help you craft your perfect college essay, from the ground up. We learn your background and interests, brainstorm essay topics, and walk you through the essay drafting process, step-by-step. At the end, you'll have a unique essay to proudly submit to colleges.   Don't leave your college application to chance. Find out more about PrepScholar Admissions now:

Links to Full College Essay Examples

Some colleges publish a selection of their favorite accepted college essays that worked, and I've put together a selection of over 100 of these.

Common App Essay Samples

Please note that some of these college essay examples may be responding to prompts that are no longer in use. The current Common App prompts are as follows:

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. 2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? 3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? 4. Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you? 5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. 6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Now, let's get to the good stuff: the list of 177 college essay examples responding to current and past Common App essay prompts. 

Connecticut college.

  • 12 Common Application essays from the classes of 2022-2025

Hamilton College

  • 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2026
  • 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2022
  • 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2018
  • 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2012
  • 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2007

Johns Hopkins

These essays are answers to past prompts from either the Common Application or the Coalition Application (which Johns Hopkins used to accept).

  • 1 Common Application or Coalition Application essay from the class of 2026
  • 6 Common Application or Coalition Application essays from the class of 2025
  • 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2024
  • 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2023
  • 7 Common Application of Universal Application essays from the class of 2022
  • 5 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2021
  • 7 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2020

Essay Examples Published by Other Websites

  • 2 Common Application essays ( 1st essay , 2nd essay ) from applicants admitted to Columbia

Other Sample College Essays

Here is a collection of essays that are college-specific.

Babson College

  • 4 essays (and 1 video response) on "Why Babson" from the class of 2020

Emory University

  • 5 essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) from the class of 2020 along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on why the essays were exceptional
  • 5 more recent essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on what made these essays stand out

University of Georgia

  • 1 “strong essay” sample from 2019
  • 1 “strong essay” sample from 2018
  • 10 Harvard essays from 2023
  • 10 Harvard essays from 2022
  • 10 Harvard essays from 2021
  • 10 Harvard essays from 2020
  • 10 Harvard essays from 2019
  • 10 Harvard essays from 2018
  • 6 essays from admitted MIT students

Smith College

  • 6 "best gift" essays from the class of 2018

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Books of College Essays

If you're looking for even more sample college essays, consider purchasing a college essay book. The best of these include dozens of essays that worked and feedback from real admissions officers.

College Essays That Made a Difference —This detailed guide from Princeton Review includes not only successful essays, but also interviews with admissions officers and full student profiles.

50 Successful Harvard Application Essays by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson—A must for anyone aspiring to Harvard .

50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays and 50 Successful Stanford Application Essays by Gen and Kelly Tanabe—For essays from other top schools, check out this venerated series, which is regularly updated with new essays.

Heavenly Essays by Janine W. Robinson—This collection from the popular blogger behind Essay Hell includes a wider range of schools, as well as helpful tips on honing your own essay.

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Analyzing Great Common App Essays That Worked

I've picked two essays from the examples collected above to examine in more depth so that you can see exactly what makes a successful college essay work. Full credit for these essays goes to the original authors and the schools that published them.

Example 1: "Breaking Into Cars," by Stephen, Johns Hopkins Class of '19 (Common App Essay, 636 words long)

I had never broken into a car before.

We were in Laredo, having just finished our first day at a Habitat for Humanity work site. The Hotchkiss volunteers had already left, off to enjoy some Texas BBQ, leaving me behind with the college kids to clean up. Not until we were stranded did we realize we were locked out of the van.

Someone picked a coat hanger out of the dumpster, handed it to me, and took a few steps back.

"Can you do that thing with a coat hanger to unlock it?"

"Why me?" I thought.

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame. Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally. My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed. "The water's on fire! Clear a hole!" he shouted, tossing me in the lake without warning. While I'm still unconvinced about that particular lesson's practicality, my Dad's overarching message is unequivocally true: much of life is unexpected, and you have to deal with the twists and turns.

Living in my family, days rarely unfolded as planned. A bit overlooked, a little pushed around, I learned to roll with reality, negotiate a quick deal, and give the improbable a try. I don't sweat the small stuff, and I definitely don't expect perfect fairness. So what if our dining room table only has six chairs for seven people? Someone learns the importance of punctuality every night.

But more than punctuality and a special affinity for musical chairs, my family life has taught me to thrive in situations over which I have no power. Growing up, I never controlled my older siblings, but I learned how to thwart their attempts to control me. I forged alliances, and realigned them as necessary. Sometimes, I was the poor, defenseless little brother; sometimes I was the omniscient elder. Different things to different people, as the situation demanded. I learned to adapt.

Back then, these techniques were merely reactions undertaken to ensure my survival. But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The question caught me off guard, much like the question posed to me in Laredo. Then, I realized I knew the answer. I knew why the coat hanger had been handed to me.

Growing up as the middle child in my family, I was a vital participant in a thing I did not govern, in the company of people I did not choose. It's family. It's society. And often, it's chaos. You participate by letting go of the small stuff, not expecting order and perfection, and facing the unexpected with confidence, optimism, and preparedness. My family experience taught me to face a serendipitous world with confidence.

What Makes This Essay Tick?

It's very helpful to take writing apart in order to see just how it accomplishes its objectives. Stephen's essay is very effective. Let's find out why!

An Opening Line That Draws You In

In just eight words, we get: scene-setting (he is standing next to a car about to break in), the idea of crossing a boundary (he is maybe about to do an illegal thing for the first time), and a cliffhanger (we are thinking: is he going to get caught? Is he headed for a life of crime? Is he about to be scared straight?).

Great, Detailed Opening Story

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame.

It's the details that really make this small experience come alive. Notice how whenever he can, Stephen uses a more specific, descriptive word in place of a more generic one. The volunteers aren't going to get food or dinner; they're going for "Texas BBQ." The coat hanger comes from "a dumpster." Stephen doesn't just move the coat hanger—he "jiggles" it.

Details also help us visualize the emotions of the people in the scene. The person who hands Stephen the coat hanger isn't just uncomfortable or nervous; he "takes a few steps back"—a description of movement that conveys feelings. Finally, the detail of actual speech makes the scene pop. Instead of writing that the other guy asked him to unlock the van, Stephen has the guy actually say his own words in a way that sounds like a teenager talking.

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Turning a Specific Incident Into a Deeper Insight

Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

Stephen makes the locked car experience a meaningful illustration of how he has learned to be resourceful and ready for anything, and he also makes this turn from the specific to the broad through an elegant play on the two meanings of the word "click."

Using Concrete Examples When Making Abstract Claims

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally.

"Unpredictability and chaos" are very abstract, not easily visualized concepts. They could also mean any number of things—violence, abandonment, poverty, mental instability. By instantly following up with highly finite and unambiguous illustrations like "family of seven" and "siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing," Stephen grounds the abstraction in something that is easy to picture: a large, noisy family.

Using Small Bits of Humor and Casual Word Choice

My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed.

Obviously, knowing how to clean burning oil is not high on the list of things every 9-year-old needs to know. To emphasize this, Stephen uses sarcasm by bringing up a situation that is clearly over-the-top: "in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed."

The humor also feels relaxed. Part of this is because he introduces it with the colloquial phrase "you know," so it sounds like he is talking to us in person. This approach also diffuses the potential discomfort of the reader with his father's strictness—since he is making jokes about it, clearly he is OK. Notice, though, that this doesn't occur very much in the essay. This helps keep the tone meaningful and serious rather than flippant.

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An Ending That Stretches the Insight Into the Future

But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The ending of the essay reveals that Stephen's life has been one long preparation for the future. He has emerged from chaos and his dad's approach to parenting as a person who can thrive in a world that he can't control.

This connection of past experience to current maturity and self-knowledge is a key element in all successful personal essays. Colleges are very much looking for mature, self-aware applicants. These are the qualities of successful college students, who will be able to navigate the independence college classes require and the responsibility and quasi-adulthood of college life.

What Could This Essay Do Even Better?

Even the best essays aren't perfect, and even the world's greatest writers will tell you that writing is never "finished"—just "due." So what would we tweak in this essay if we could?

Replace some of the clichéd language. Stephen uses handy phrases like "twists and turns" and "don't sweat the small stuff" as a kind of shorthand for explaining his relationship to chaos and unpredictability. But using too many of these ready-made expressions runs the risk of clouding out your own voice and replacing it with something expected and boring.

Use another example from recent life. Stephen's first example (breaking into the van in Laredo) is a great illustration of being resourceful in an unexpected situation. But his essay also emphasizes that he "learned to adapt" by being "different things to different people." It would be great to see how this plays out outside his family, either in the situation in Laredo or another context.

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Example 2: By Renner Kwittken, Tufts Class of '23 (Common App Essay, 645 words long)

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry's "Cars and Trucks and Things That Go," and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors, produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration.

Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear.

I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins.

In the lab, Dr. Ray encouraged a great amount of autonomy to design and implement my own procedures. I chose to attack a problem that affects the entire field of nanomedicine: nanoparticles consistently fail to translate from animal studies into clinical trials. Jumping off recent literature, I set out to see if a pre-dose of a common chemotherapeutic could enhance nanoparticle delivery in aggressive prostate cancer, creating three novel constructs based on three different linear polymers, each using fluorescent dye (although no gold, sorry goldbug!). Though using radioactive isotopes like Gallium and Yttrium would have been incredible, as a 17-year-old, I unfortunately wasn't allowed in the same room as these radioactive materials (even though I took a Geiger counter to a pair of shoes and found them to be slightly dangerous).

I hadn't expected my hypothesis to work, as the research project would have ideally been led across two full years. Yet while there are still many optimizations and revisions to be done, I was thrilled to find -- with completely new nanoparticles that may one day mean future trials will use particles with the initials "RK-1" -- thatcyclophosphamide did indeed increase nanoparticle delivery to the tumor in a statistically significant way.

A secondary, unexpected research project was living alone in Baltimore, a new city to me, surrounded by people much older than I. Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research. Whether in a presentation or in a casual conversation, making others interested in science is perhaps more exciting to me than the research itself. This solidified a new pursuit to angle my love for writing towards illuminating science in ways people can understand, adding value to a society that can certainly benefit from more scientific literacy.

It seems fitting that my goals are still transforming: in Scarry's book, there is not just one goldbug, there is one on every page. With each new experience, I'm learning that it isn't the goldbug itself, but rather the act of searching for the goldbugs that will encourage, shape, and refine my ever-evolving passions. Regardless of the goldbug I seek -- I know my pickle truck has just begun its journey.

Renner takes a somewhat different approach than Stephen, but their essay is just as detailed and engaging. Let's go through some of the strengths of this essay.

One Clear Governing Metaphor

This essay is ultimately about two things: Renner’s dreams and future career goals, and Renner’s philosophy on goal-setting and achieving one’s dreams.

But instead of listing off all the amazing things they’ve done to pursue their dream of working in nanomedicine, Renner tells a powerful, unique story instead. To set up the narrative, Renner opens the essay by connecting their experiences with goal-setting and dream-chasing all the way back to a memorable childhood experience:

This lighthearted–but relevant!--story about the moment when Renner first developed a passion for a specific career (“finding the goldbug”) provides an anchor point for the rest of the essay. As Renner pivots to describing their current dreams and goals–working in nanomedicine–the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” is reflected in Renner’s experiments, rejections, and new discoveries.

Though Renner tells multiple stories about their quest to “find the goldbug,” or, in other words, pursue their passion, each story is connected by a unifying theme; namely, that as we search and grow over time, our goals will transform…and that’s okay! By the end of the essay, Renner uses the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” to reiterate the relevance of the opening story:

While the earlier parts of the essay convey Renner’s core message by showing, the final, concluding paragraph sums up Renner’s insights by telling. By briefly and clearly stating the relevance of the goldbug metaphor to their own philosophy on goals and dreams, Renner demonstrates their creativity, insight, and eagerness to grow and evolve as the journey continues into college.

body_fixers

An Engaging, Individual Voice

This essay uses many techniques that make Renner sound genuine and make the reader feel like we already know them.

Technique #1: humor. Notice Renner's gentle and relaxed humor that lightly mocks their younger self's grand ambitions (this is different from the more sarcastic kind of humor used by Stephen in the first essay—you could never mistake one writer for the other).

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver.

I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Renner gives a great example of how to use humor to your advantage in college essays. You don’t want to come off as too self-deprecating or sarcastic, but telling a lightheartedly humorous story about your younger self that also showcases how you’ve grown and changed over time can set the right tone for your entire essay.

Technique #2: intentional, eye-catching structure. The second technique is the way Renner uses a unique structure to bolster the tone and themes of their essay . The structure of your essay can have a major impact on how your ideas come across…so it’s important to give it just as much thought as the content of your essay!

For instance, Renner does a great job of using one-line paragraphs to create dramatic emphasis and to make clear transitions from one phase of the story to the next:

Suddenly the destination of my pickle car was clear.

Not only does the one-liner above signal that Renner is moving into a new phase of the narrative (their nanoparticle research experiences), it also tells the reader that this is a big moment in Renner’s story. It’s clear that Renner made a major discovery that changed the course of their goal pursuit and dream-chasing. Through structure, Renner conveys excitement and entices the reader to keep pushing forward to the next part of the story.

Technique #3: playing with syntax. The third technique is to use sentences of varying length, syntax, and structure. Most of the essay's written in standard English and uses grammatically correct sentences. However, at key moments, Renner emphasizes that the reader needs to sit up and pay attention by switching to short, colloquial, differently punctuated, and sometimes fragmented sentences.

Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research.

In the examples above, Renner switches adeptly between long, flowing sentences and quippy, telegraphic ones. At the same time, Renner uses these different sentence lengths intentionally. As they describe their experiences in new places, they use longer sentences to immerse the reader in the sights, smells, and sounds of those experiences. And when it’s time to get a big, key idea across, Renner switches to a short, punchy sentence to stop the reader in their tracks.

The varying syntax and sentence lengths pull the reader into the narrative and set up crucial “aha” moments when it’s most important…which is a surefire way to make any college essay stand out.

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Renner's essay is very strong, but there are still a few little things that could be improved.

Connecting the research experiences to the theme of “finding the goldbug.”  The essay begins and ends with Renner’s connection to the idea of “finding the goldbug.” And while this metaphor is deftly tied into the essay’s intro and conclusion, it isn’t entirely clear what Renner’s big findings were during the research experiences that are described in the middle of the essay. It would be great to add a sentence or two stating what Renner’s big takeaways (or “goldbugs”) were from these experiences, which add more cohesion to the essay as a whole.

Give more details about discovering the world of nanomedicine. It makes sense that Renner wants to get into the details of their big research experiences as quickly as possible. After all, these are the details that show Renner’s dedication to nanomedicine! But a smoother transition from the opening pickle car/goldbug story to Renner’s “real goldbug” of nanoparticles would help the reader understand why nanoparticles became Renner’s goldbug. Finding out why Renner is so motivated to study nanomedicine–and perhaps what put them on to this field of study–would help readers fully understand why Renner chose this path in the first place.

4 Essential Tips for Writing Your Own Essay

How can you use this discussion to better your own college essay? Here are some suggestions for ways to use this resource effectively.

#1: Get Help From the Experts

Getting your college applications together takes a lot of work and can be pretty intimidatin g. Essays are even more important than ever now that admissions processes are changing and schools are going test-optional and removing diversity standards thanks to new Supreme Court rulings .  If you want certified expert help that really makes a difference, get started with  PrepScholar’s Essay Editing and Coaching program. Our program can help you put together an incredible essay from idea to completion so that your application stands out from the crowd. We've helped students get into the best colleges in the United States, including Harvard, Stanford, and Yale.  If you're ready to take the next step and boost your odds of getting into your dream school, connect with our experts today .

#2: Read Other Essays to Get Ideas for Your Own

As you go through the essays we've compiled for you above, ask yourself the following questions:

  • Can you explain to yourself (or someone else!) why the opening sentence works well?
  • Look for the essay's detailed personal anecdote. What senses is the author describing? Can you easily picture the scene in your mind's eye?
  • Find the place where this anecdote bridges into a larger insight about the author. How does the essay connect the two? How does the anecdote work as an example of the author's characteristic, trait, or skill?
  • Check out the essay's tone. If it's funny, can you find the places where the humor comes from? If it's sad and moving, can you find the imagery and description of feelings that make you moved? If it's serious, can you see how word choice adds to this tone?

Make a note whenever you find an essay or part of an essay that you think was particularly well-written, and think about what you like about it . Is it funny? Does it help you really get to know the writer? Does it show what makes the writer unique? Once you have your list, keep it next to you while writing your essay to remind yourself to try and use those same techniques in your own essay.

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#3: Find Your "A-Ha!" Moment

All of these essays rely on connecting with the reader through a heartfelt, highly descriptive scene from the author's life. It can either be very dramatic (did you survive a plane crash?) or it can be completely mundane (did you finally beat your dad at Scrabble?). Either way, it should be personal and revealing about you, your personality, and the way you are now that you are entering the adult world.

Check out essays by authors like John Jeremiah Sullivan , Leslie Jamison , Hanif Abdurraqib , and Esmé Weijun Wang to get more examples of how to craft a compelling personal narrative.

#4: Start Early, Revise Often

Let me level with you: the best writing isn't writing at all. It's rewriting. And in order to have time to rewrite, you have to start way before the application deadline. My advice is to write your first draft at least two months before your applications are due.

Let it sit for a few days untouched. Then come back to it with fresh eyes and think critically about what you've written. What's extra? What's missing? What is in the wrong place? What doesn't make sense? Don't be afraid to take it apart and rearrange sections. Do this several times over, and your essay will be much better for it!

For more editing tips, check out a style guide like Dreyer's English or Eats, Shoots & Leaves .

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What's Next?

Still not sure which colleges you want to apply to? Our experts will show you how to make a college list that will help you choose a college that's right for you.

Interested in learning more about college essays? Check out our detailed breakdown of exactly how personal statements work in an application , some suggestions on what to avoid when writing your essay , and our guide to writing about your extracurricular activities .

Working on the rest of your application? Read what admissions officers wish applicants knew before applying .

Want to improve your SAT score by 160 points or your ACT score by 4 points?   We've written a guide for each test about the top 5 strategies you must be using to have a shot at improving your score. Download them for free now:

The recommendations in this post are based solely on our knowledge and experience. If you purchase an item through one of our links PrepScholar may receive a commission.

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Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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essay link examples

A Writer's Handbook

  • Introduction
  • Purpose & Audience
  • Opening Sentences
  • Linking Sentences

Linking Sentences in the Introduction

  • Finished Introduction
  • Topic Sentences
  • Development
  • Conclusion Sentences
  • Conclusion Paragraphs for Essays
  • Essay Writing Organization: The Outline
  • Annotating Readings
  • General Writing Idea Development
  • Rhetorical and Visual Analysis Idea Development
  • Character Analysis Idea Development
  • Theme Analysis Idea Development
  • Theory Analysis
  • Using the Library
  • Using Sources for Illustration or Support
  • Using Research for Essays
  • Writing About Research
  • MLA Handbook Summary for Citations
  • Final Thoughts on Essays
  • Literary Element Index
  • Appendix of Example Papers

Because your first sentence (or sentences) of the opener should be very general, and the thesis at the end of the paragraph will be very specific, you will need several sentences to link to each other, getting more specific as the sentences get closer to the thesis. These are just some ways of thinking about linking sentences:

Introduction - Type One

  • Use a surprising or startling statement to start the paragraph
  • Explain how that startling idea relates to the general topic of your paper
  • Introduce background or any necessary information about the issue or subject

Introduction - Type Two

  • Use a short story (2-3 sentences) to exemplify the notion you are looking at
  • Explain this story in the context of the issue or subject
  • Introduce background or any necessary information of the issue or subject

Introduction - Type Three

  • Use a relevant quote to start the paragraph
  • Explain what the quote means
  • Explain the quote toward the issue or subject

Introduction - Type Four

  • Use a question to start the paragraph
  • Answer that question somehow
  • Explain that answer into the topic of your issue or subject

Linking Sentences [Example]

Jane’s hair is thinning; her eyes have dark circles beneath them; she rarely eats; she even hardly talks to any of her friends or family members:  Jane is an “addict.” (opening sentence – an anecdote starter)

Her addiction started when she was twenty years old; at first no one noticed, but her problem grew. ( link – continued anecdote)

It grew so much that today, even after many of her friends have confronted her with it, she still cannot get over it. ( link )

She is not having to “ get over ” an addiction to drugs, alcohol, or even gambling; her problem is almost worse. ( link )

It is worse because her addiction is to something she must do to live: her addiction is to her work. ( link )

While work for some people is just a job done away from home, Jane’s work is something that has consumed her life and ruined many of her relationships and even her health. ( link )

  • << Previous: Opening Sentences
  • Next: Thesis >>
  • Last Updated: Jan 3, 2023 9:01 AM
  • URL: https://library.jeffersonstate.edu/AWH

essay link examples

Resources, information and exercises for international students and teachers of English and Mandarin Chinese.

Making links between paragraphs

It is important to provide  links  in your writing. When writing your sentences, try to link up one sentence with another. In the same way, when writing your paragraphs, try to link up one paragraph with another. This can take two forms: ending a paragraph with a sentence that leads  forward  to the next paragraph or starting the new paragraph in a way that links  back  to the previous paragraph.

Look at the passages above (Beauty, A basic truth, Marangu) and find the sentences that provide links with any subsequent paragraphs. When you’ve done that, look at the notes below.

In these paragraphs, the last line of each paragraph leads into the following paragraph.

However, for me, beauty does not reside in music alone.  (And my next paragraph will develop this idea and explain what else exemplifies beauty for me.)

However, despite the prevalence of these attitudes, change is on the way.  (And in my next paragraph I will outline about these changes.)

It brings back some striking memories.  (And in my next paragraph, I will describe some of about these memories.)

One further way of making links between paragraphs is to repeat certain key words and phrases, or near equivalents, in closely related paragraphs. This ensures a strong feeling of continuity from one idea to the next. In the example below, the key words and phrases have been circled and then linked with lines to show the connections that exist between one paragraph and the preceding and following paragraphs. Notice how the writer provides the reader with links, making it easier to follow the train of the argument.

The doctors of the law, those who developed and preserved the consensus of the community, were the nearest equivalent to a teaching authority in Sunni Islam,  and  it was essential for them to make sure that the understanding of  fiqh  and of its bases was fully transmitted from one generation to another.

From an early time there seems to have been a formal procedure for the transmission of religious learning. In mosques, and especially in the large congregational ones, circles of students would group themselves around a teacher sitting against a pillar and expounding a subject through reading and commentating upon a book. From at least the eleventh century,  however , there grew up a kind of institution devoted largely to legal learning, the  madrasa : its origin is often ascribed to Nizam al-Mulk, the wazir of the first Saljuq ruler of Baghdad,  but  in fact goes back to an earlier time. The madrasa was a school, often  although  not always attached to a mosque; it included a place of residence for students. It was established as a waqf by an individual donor; this gave it an endowment and ensured its permanence,  since  property of which the income was devoted to a pious or charitable purpose could not be alienated.

Some institutions were established for the teaching of the Koran or Hadith,  but  the main purpose of most of them was the study and teaching of fiqh.  To take an example : the Tankiziyya madrasa in Jerusalem, endowed during the Mamluk period, had four halls, opening off a central courtyard, one each for the teaching of Hadith, Hanafi law and Sufism,  while  the fourth was a mosque.

Signposting

‘Signposts’ are found in good academic essays and they will also help the reader to understand the writing more easily. They help to link what has already been said with what is about to be discussed.

Some of the words that we have already considered can be used as signposts. For example  consequently, however, similarly, moreover, in contrast  and so on. Look at the example above; the signpost words are shown in bold. In addition to these words, we can also use expressions like these:

  • This programme …
  • Despite these difficulties …
  • These suggestions …
  • However, in the modern world …
  • In the next section, …

In each case we are making reference to a point already mentioned, or we are indicating that we about to consider something new. For example, our signposts can look backwards at a point already raised:

  • This suggestion …
  • These ideas …
  • This brief outline suggests …
  • Such proposals …

Similarly, our signposts can look forwards towards issues that will be raised in the next section or in the near future:

  • In this section, I will …
  • My next chapter will consider why …
  • A recent study suggests …
  • One important recent finding indicates that …
  • Some signposts look in both directions at the same time!
  • Despite these reports, other writers have proposed …
  • In spite of these findings, teachers believe …
  • This view has been rejected by some authors who claim that …
  • In contrast, a recent article …

Look at these passages and underline any ‘signposts’. Do they look forwards, backwards or in both directions?

Despite this difficulty, many theories have been proposed to explain these results, but the evidence has proved to be elusive. However, this does not mean that the theories can be discounted. The following chapter will explore the evidence in more detail.

In the last chapter, we examined the link between foreign direct investment and social development. In this chapter, I would like to explore the differences between this form of investment and local investment. The first section will consider the factors that encourage and discourage local investment. These factors will then be analysed in the light of recent developments in China.

Are these theories supported by data? The evidence, unfortunately, is inconclusive. Despite exhaustive studies, no positive identification has ever been made. This has proved to be the most difficult problem of all. However, quite recently, a new method of collecting the data has been proposed. This method relies on sub-sectional analysis, which has not been adopted before. This form of analysis has some interesting features. Firstly, …

Notes on the Task

Despite this difficulty   [this looks backwards]  many theories have been proposed to explain these results,  [this looks backwards]  but the evidence has proved to be elusive.

However, this does not mean…  – this looks backwards.

…that the theories can be discounted.

The following chapter will explore the evidence in more detail. –  this looks forwards.

In the last chapter, we examined   [this looks backwards]  the link between foreign direct investment and social development.  In this chapter, I would like to explore   [this looks forwards]  the differences between this form of investment and local investment.  The first section will consider  [ this looks forwards]  the factors that encourage and discourage local investment.  These factors will then be analysed   [this looks forwards]  in the light of recent developments in China.

Are these theories supported by data ?  [this looks backwards]  The evidence, unfortunately, is inconclusive. Despite exhaustive studies, no positive identification has ever been made.  This has proved  [this points backwards]  to be the most difficult problem of all. However, quite recently, a new method of collecting the data has been proposed.  This method  [this looks backwards]  relies on sub-sectional analysis which has not been adopted before.  This form of analysis has some interesting features.   [this looks forwards]  Firstly, …

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How to Put Examples in Your Essay

Learn the best way to add examples to your essay to support your ideas. You need to use a range of linking words in your essay and also use them flexibly in different locations in the sentence. See below for a list of useful linking words with sample sentences:

Linking Words for Giving Examples

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate
  • as an illustration
  • to give a clear example
  • take, for example,

Video Tutorial: How to Add Examples in an Essay

Sample Sentences with Supporting Examples

Please note that the linking words do not need to be at the start of the sentence. You can use them more flexibly by changing their location.

Global warming should be taken more serious as it can result in a number of disastrous consequences. To give a clear example , the melting polar ice caps have not only caused a loss of habitat for polar bears but are also threatening seas levels worldwide.

More and more women are choosing to start a family later in life. 20% of women giving birth to their first child, for instance , are over the age of 30 in the UK.

Crimes should not have the same punishment. Minor crimes, such as pick pocketing and traffic offences, should not have the same penalty as major crimes, namely murder and manslaughter.

Children often learn behaviour from the adults around them subconsciously. To illustrate , around 50% of children who are brought up by aggressive parents often use aggression to solve their own problems later in life.

Parents should be responsible for teaching their children right and wrong. If, for example , they see their child using bad language, they should spend time explaining to their child the serious consequences that can result from this type of behaviour.

More and more people are leading sedentary life styles due to work conditions. Take for example office workers in the UK who spend at least 8 hours a day, 5 days a week  sitting in front of their computers.

All Linking Words for Essay Writing

You can find a list of all linking words that can be used in essay writing: Linking Words for Writing .

IELTS Essay Questions

  • Over 100 IELTS Essay Questions
Main IELTS Pages Develop your IELTS skills with tips, model answers, lessons, free videos and more. IELTS Listening IELTS Reading IELTS Writing Task 1 IELTS Writing Task 2 IELTS Speaking Vocabulary for IELTS IELTS Test Information (FAQ) Home Page: IELTS Liz

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Hi Liz, thank you for all the advices, I truly appreciate.

I have a minor question however, is it proper to use ‘e.g.’ (exempli gratia) when giving examples in IELTS writing? or it’s not recommended?

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It’s definitely best to stick to usual English language linking words: for example, for instance, namely etc. You should avoid using “etc” or “eg” because you are being marked on the use of linking words and general vocabulary.

I see. Thanks!

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I can say that you are on of my the best theachers I have ever met.I do not what to say ; ı wish you the best for all your life.

Thanks. That’s a kind comment

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Thank you so much Liz for all the resources on your site. God bless you immensely.

You’re welcome 🙂

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Dear Liz, In my example can I lie? For example, “the Times News once reported more than 50% of youths to prefer to use laptops”. This information was not actually written in the news.

You do not need to state the origin of examples in any IELTS essay. It does not help your score to do so. In fact, mentioning data in task 2 will not help your score either. It’s better to use language which will help your score: On average it can be said that around half of all youths prefer to access the internet using a laptop rather than any other kind of device. On average it can be said that an overwhelming majority of all youths use laptops to go online rather than any other device.

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Your website is the best for learning IELTS techniques. It’s even better than the British Council courses

Thanks. I’m glad you find it useful 🙂

Thank you so much Liz for all this resources. God bless you immensely.

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Hi Liz, is it okay if we make up the statistics in essay ( for we want to provide examples, but we know nothing about the topic).

As you don’t get extra points for stats anyway, there’s no point. It would be much better to boost your vocab score by saying “the overwhelming majority” or “only a mere fraction of” etc etc.

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Hi Liz, I hope you are doing fine!

Is it acceptable to use a mix of American English and UK English while writing? I’m asking because there are few words that are spelled differently in both countries.

You should stick to one way of spelling for the writing test.

Alright! Thanks for the quick reply!

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Hi Liz! Is it okay if the one main paragraph is bigger than other or should they be balanced? Does this affect my score? Thank you.

Yes, it affects your score. Body paragraphs should be equally developed.

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thank you liz.

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Thank you you Liz all I have never read a website as helpful as yours . Wishing you more successful feats in all your life endeavors Am Sameer Hassan Saleh

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hi liz… I have seen your all paid essay vedios. These all are excellent. Thanks alot for all these lessons. I just want to know can we use personal examples in task 2. For instance, my younger brother eat noodels frequently as he finds it much delicious than conventional healthy food and vegitables. Pleass guide in this regard? Thanks alot..

It is best to continue writing about people in general for examples: “Many younger people prefer eating noodles because …”

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Hello Liz Thank you very much for these very useful interesting lessons. I just want to now if the statistics that might be mentioned in the essay have to be generally “correct”; or the examiner may penalize you for giving statistics that are clearly not true and just made up in the exam room?

Putting statistics in your essay does not boost your score. The examiner is marking your English and your ideas, not facts or numbers in task 2.

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Hi liz , thank you for you precious blog, it really helped me. I have a question! Is it ok to give false statistics?? I mean to fake one to support my idea????

Why would you want to give false statistics? Do you think examples should contain statistics? Do you think you get a better score because you use statistics? Statistics play no part in your score for writing task 2.

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In case we don’t remember exact figures can we guess ie say around 5-6%, it’s not possible that examiner knows all exact statics.

You will not get a higher score because you put statistics in your task 2 essay. You do not need to give any numbers at all.

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Hi, Liz, I have some doubt amout ‘your own experience’ 1. what actually does it mean? 2. can I state my own experience or commonly observation experience? 3. My own experience mean any EXAMPLE?

PEASE LET ME KNOW. THNAKS

It means your experience of the world in general. It does not need to be your own personal experience, but rather your experience of the world. As essays are formal, we don’t usually refer to ourselves or our family and friends.

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Hi, Thank you for your great lessons. I have a question, in this video you wrote: “an increasing number of people are eating unhealthy food…” you used “increasing number of people” which means you used Gerund. that’s why you put “an” in front of it, however you used “are eating”, shouldn’t have you said “is eating”? Gerund consider as singular, right?

An increasing number = the word “increasing” is used as a adjective, not as a gerund. The noun = number of people Adjective = increasing. Don’t get your grammar confused.

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Hello Liz! 🙂 I’m writing an academic research paper involving diabetes. I’m not sure, however, where to place the statistics surrounding the number of people with diabetes in my country in my introduction. Do I put it before my description of diabetes, or after it?

All my advice is for IELTS which is an English language test. It is not for academic writing at uni or college which is not testing language. IELTS has specific requirements which are not the same as any academic research. You will have to find sample research papers and use their structure.

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Hi Liz, In General IELTS Task 2 essays, often it is asked that “Give examples from your own knowledge or experience” So my question is can I use “I”, “my”, “me” while quoting an example? Secondly i was reading some where that IELTS essays are persuasive essays so we have to use first person voice and should use “I”, “my”, “me” at least once in each paragraph. Please comment on this. Thanks

Essays are formal, so examples of your experience or knowledge should relate to “the majority of people …”. It is not actually about you or your friends but your experience of the world. GT writing is more marked as strictly as academic essays but even so I recommend you to use formal examples.

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Can I use fake examples whic are grammatically correct?

Why – it won’t help your score.

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Hi Liz, In your examples above, you have written “To illustrate, around 50% of children who are bought up by aggressive parents often use aggression to solve their own problems later in life” If we were to write such an example, does it have to be factual or just believable?

It is just as good to write “the majority of children..” or “about half of all children …”.

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Good day to you madam, I would like to ask how many sentences are recommended to give an example in an essay. I would also like to know if it is okay to not mention the actual source of a statistic in an essay that writes about contemporary issues. Thank you.

1) You don’t need to use examples. So, if you use them, it’s your choice how many. 2) you should NEVER state the source of numbers in an IELTS essay. In fact, most examples are better given without numbers. This is an English language test, not a essay presenting data.

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Hi Dear Liz My name’s Ghazale You cannot imagine how incredibly you have changed my world of learning English these few past weeks And i must confess your videos helped me too good What a wonderful teacher you are I keep watching your videos but unfortunately i couldn’t log into your website to be a member Thanks a lot

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I have a burning question in mind about examples. Would it be alright to use ither languages in an essay. For example,in an essay about using English as the only language, I pointed out that language often go side by side with culture. My sentences: Japanese add “guzaimasu” after a phrase or “san” after a name to express politeness. In the Philippines, we say “bayanihan” to describe the value we place on our neighbors and community. There are no direct English translations for these words.

I do hope you see this question. I have been learning quite a lot from you. This is, in fact, a question I got from your site. Thank you very much!

Your aim in your essay is to provide clear, relevant main points which are well developed, explained and linked. Your other aim is to provide accurate grammar and vocabulary in English. Those examples might be appropriate to use one example but certainly not more than that. Once you make your point, move on – don’t become repetitive. Your Japanese example is confusing for people who don’t understand Japanese but your example from the Philippines is clearer. Remember this is not about filling your essay will all your ideas – it is about being selective and deciding what to include and what to exclude.

Thank you very much! Will try my very best!

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Dear Liz, Is it ok to create statistical data as example for academic writing task 2?

Why? It won’t help your band score at all. It’s better to explain your ideas using English language and focus on accuracy of language.

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In IELTS it is said : “Ideas should be supported by evidence, and examples may be drawn from the test takers’ own experience.” In many mock essays answers, there are no examples. Can an essay reach band score 9 without any examples? Thank you very much

The instructions mean that you must expand and explain your ideas – it does not means you must give examples. There are many ways to illustrate and explain ideas.

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Is it okay to make up facts to use as examples?

You should not be thinking about memorising facts for your essay. It will not help your score at all. IELTS don’t expect you to do that. When are you asked to support your ideas, it means to explain them or give examples of situations – not figures, statistics or facts.

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can i use personal pronoun in essay ?

See this page: https://ieltsliz.com/ielts-writing-task-2-expressing-your-opinion/

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Hi Liz, All your videos are very useful, all those tips and tricks really boosted my confidence, thanks a lot for that:)

I have a doubt regarding the writing task2, when I was doing a sample writing task, I came across this “include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience”. So, does this mean we can give real life examples while writing our essay?

Thank you, Hari, India.

Your writing task 2 essay deals with world issues. You can give examples but I advise you to use examples relating to the world in general: “For example, it is commonly known that ….” or “For example, the majority of people ….”. These are examples of your view of the world. If, however, you write “For example, my friend Dave …” your essay loses style and language content.

Thanks a lot, Liz:) that was a great example. I am taking my exam on 22 of this month, with all your videos and tips hoping to get a great score.

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Can we you hypothetical statistics? For example, if I want to make my point strong, can i use any university name or any research journal?? I mean can i state in the essay that, “In a recent article published by ABC university, 70% of the people have found addicted to smartphones” Whereas in fact, there is no such article ever published stating this fact of 70%.

Yes, you can lie about stats but why? It won’t help your score at all. This phrase ““In a recent article published by ..” won’t boost your score. It’s a learn expression which is generic (it can be applied to any topic) and this means the examiner won’t count it towards examples of your natural language.

Thanks Liz for your reply. I have gone through a number of your advises and found them very useful.

But I saw in some of the articles that if you show some reference and support with research data, you will be able to reinforce your argument. Had I rephrased it but still lied about the fact, would it add value then to my task 2?

Regards Ahmed

The examiner does not give you a higher band score because you are presenting statistics. Statistics are irrelevant to your mark. The supporting points being assessed are relating to language, not figures. You can add all the stats you want, it won’t increase your score at all.

That’s really helpful. It relief some of the pressure of knowing statistical data related to the topic.

Thanks once again,

Wow, were you really trying to remember stats for your essay? You are not marked on your knowledge at all. Just think of some relevant main ideas and then explain them – nothing more is needed. It is essentially an English language test. Take a look at my band 9 model essays: https://ieltsliz.com/ielts-writing-task-2/

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I have a question regarding grammar. I am not in what case can we put Verb+ing after the word “to”

I always thought that we have to put the verb whit its original form, but I have noticed two examples and still didn’t understand the rule.

Here are the two examples I saw in your blog:

– resort to buying ( why not resort to buy?) – I am looking forward to hearing from you ( why not looking forward to hear from you soon?)

appreciate your always help.

You can use “to” as a preposition. If you haven’t seen this before, don’t use it. More mistakes will lower your score. Use the grammar you know well.

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Hi .. can I add “example” form my own information or not ?

sorry i mean from

You can write anything you want. However, writing about the world in general usually produces a better level of English.

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As long as it is in the allotted time, are we allowed to write our essays out in rough first, then transfer them onto the exam papers?

You will not have time. You need to spend at least 5 mins planning your essay which includes main ideas as well as supporting points. This means you can write your essay directly. Try timing yourself and you will see how difficult it is to do both task 1 and task 2 in one hour.

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I can not buy your lesson which must be paid by paybal, because in Turkey there is not paybal. How I can bu these lessons? Please inform me.

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Hi Liz! Thanks for the amazing tips! And I would like to ask whether I can make up facts as an example in my writing test? Thanks!

Sure, if you want. But it’s better to explain your ideas rather than just make up stats.

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Hello Liz! I have to ask that is it possible to get 7 bands in writing? As I have never heard above 7 bands of any student. Why so?

You will find many students hit band 7 and above: https://ieltsliz.com/post-your-ielts-test-results/

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Liz, Thanks a lot for your fantastic information. Your work is exceptional and highly recommendable for not only IELTS test takers but also first-year university students who use English as a second language.

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I had a question about the use of “resort”. Is it “resort to doing” or “resort to do”?

In the last scene, I was two sentences:

1. This is exemplified by the 70% of working people in the UK, who resort to BUYING ready made meals for convenience. 2. This can be seen by the growing number of working people in the UK who resort to BUY ready made meals for convenience instead of cooking at home.

Is it a typo in the second sentence?

Many thanks for your tutoring videos. They are extremely helpful!

https://ieltsliz.com/liz-notice-2015-2016/

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I wonder if it is possible to include false statistics in my writings?

It isn’t necessary. You don’t need to put in statistics at all. It’s best to explain your opinion.

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Hi, Juliana. I post the explanation of the resort. “resort to sth to make use of sth, especially something bad, as a means of achieving sth, often because there is no other solution.”

E.g. They felt obliged to resort to violence We may have to resort to using untrained staff.

So, we should put doing after the resort to.

And you are right. there is a typo mistake in the second sentence. I think liz post that in the video.

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Dear madam,

I need 6 bands in each tasks for IELTS General module.Still I’m worried about Speaking and Listening exam because I don’t get grip on this tasks compared to other tasks.Please suggest me a technique for practice to acquire a good score.I have next exam on 18th February.

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Hi Liz, I just started to follow your blogs recently. As I read the topics above, I wonder if we could present or invent statistics in our own just to support our answers in essay 🙂 ? Thanks!

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Hi liz ,hope u r doing fine..i would be very grateful if u cud give some advice about the ielts..recently i sat for the it,n i got an overall 6.5band, with 7 listening , 6.5 writing, 6.5 reading and 5.5 speaking.though its not enuf for my professional career,im wondering if i shud give it again and if yes ,will i be able to attain the requirement that is a total of 7.5 with a minimum of 7 in each section….honestly speaking i had only ten days for the exam and during the process i didnt practice at all,just read some sample essay on net n some passage reading..and i came to conclusion that the only way to succeed is practise because your only opponent on the day of exam is time.for instance for my case,i finish my essay just in time,cud not do proofreading and this apply for the reading as well…n it was my first experiece with ielts…is there a chance that i can reach the objective band nxt time?my essay was is should the private life of celebrity be respected by the media,to what extent u agree or disagree..thnk u,,waiting impatiently for ur reply…

You will need to improve your English and also get training for IELTS to get band 7 in each criterion. Liz

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Task 2: Some people say that interview is a good way of selecting competent candidates. What are the other ways for selecting a good candidate What do you think is the best way to select a good candidate. How write intro this question and make paragraph

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Hi Liz. Thank for this tip. it’s really helpful. But i have a question. How can i explain my idea in writing task 2? I always have a problem with this

The supporting points are only explanations of your ideas. Just more detail. It could be examples, consequences, exceptions, explanation, causes – anything you feel will explain what you mean. If you aim for three body paragraph, you will only need about two supporting sentences which is easier. Liz

what i am looking for is some questions that i need to question myself whenever i have an idea needed to explained. I found your video bout ideas. I have a lot of them now. but dont know how to expand it.

Ask yourself “why”. If you state “Firstly one of the best ways to tackle traffic congestion is to build wider roads.” Then you ask “why is this a good method? What does it do?”. You then add: “By doing this, traffic will be able to flow more easily and congestion will be reduced”. Then you choose your next sentence, either an example or an opposite: “If the roads are not widened, traffic will slowly grind to a halt as traffic is no longer able to flow along the streets because they are too narrow.”.

I strongly advice you to read all model essays online and make a note of what kind of information is given in the supporting points. Then you will have a range of ideas. Liz

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This is a great way to illustrate how to expand ideas Liz. Very clear and concise.

Thank you very much.

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Hello, Liz Could I write “As an example/illustration of something, …”?

If I’m not mistaken, it is “Cambridge IELTS 9” on the shelf on each video. Do you recommend this book? Thank you in advance! Julia

Yes, you can use those two ways to give examples. I have both Cambridge 9 and 10. They are the two most recent books published by IELTS. They contain 4 practice tests but not tips. They are good for practicing. No students should enter the test without doing a full practice test at least once. All the best Liz

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Can we make up our own examples with fake dates and events.??

The examiner will not check factual information so you can use examples as you wish. But it is unnecessary to invest data – just describe it for a higher score. Liz

I will just use supporting examples, which will make sense by different Organization names.I have exam on 8 October, 2015.

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I was wondering, it won t be considered ok to write 2 ideas in one paragraph? For instance 1 BP with 2 ideas explained or 2 causes etx. It would be more correct to have only one idea/solution/cause/advantage in each BP?

The organisation of ideas depends on the type of essay you have. You would need full training to understand more deeply: http://subscriptions.viddler.com/IELTSLizStore All the best Liz

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Thanks Dear, I appreciate it.

that is the example, and I guess you are right.And where do you recommend I can write my opinion? computers are becoming an essential part of education. Discuss the advantages and the disadvantages and give your own opinion?

I’ve never seen those instructions before. However, to follow them, you must do exactly what they say: give the advantages, give the disadvantages and give your opinion. If your opinion agrees with one side, then include it in your body paragraph. If your opinion agrees with neither side, put it in a separate body paragraph. There’s no fixed rule. All the best Liz

Hi Liz, Regarding the advantage and disadvantage and giving your opinion question. where is the best place exactly to express my opinion?is it in the conclusion sentence or included in the introduction?

There is no question in IELTS that asks for the advantages, disadvantages and your opinion. Are you talking about the discussion essay? All the best Liz

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Hi, For writing task 2, sometimes I don’t have relevant examples ? I start properly with a topic sentence and I explain it in detail, but I, sometimes, find difficulty of giving a clear example?

if there is any other way to state it ? thank you

You do not need to give examples unless you want to. Supporting points are any points which explain your idea further. All the best Liz

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Thank you very much for the very useful article. I have some concern about the use of ‘i.e.’ and ‘e.g.’. Do you think they are formal enough to be used in IELTS writing?

Many thanks again,

Never use shortened forms in IELTS writing. All the best Liz

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I would be so grateful if you could suggest me the perfect study plan in order to prepare for my second Ielts exam on 12 September. I need to improve each section with 0.5 or 1 score.

Thank you in advance, Genta

Sorry, I don’t provide study plans. Watch my video on my home page about preparing for IELTS and just cover the points mentioned. You know your weaknesses and you know the time you have available – you are the best one to make a study plan. Liz

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Hi, Liz I want to use “Example” at the end of my essay. So, which one is correct 1. for example 2. in example 3. at example 4. on example

Examples are usually put in the body paragraphs to support your ideas, not at the end. See this page for correct linking words: https://ieltsliz.com/linking-words-for-writing/ . Then review all tips on the main writing task 2 page: https://ieltsliz.com/ielts-writing-task-2/

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Dear Liz, I would be acknowledge by my heartfelt appreciation about your website and merits videos . I’m settling in Tehran and wand passing ielts strictly. In recent years , there has been hard rise in ielts examination . Let’s emphatically endorse to this fact that the band score 7 and upper goals are crucial for us to make the future by proper mentoring , extensive training and practicing . Hence , it’s important to be realistic about apprentices who need the band 6.5 in general training modules . With all this taken into account , I believe that I have some problems in reading to pass this examination . Another thing I should mention is how can I improve myself in listening module because I couldn’t accurately pass this . It has fluctuated on 5 to 6.5 in 3 mock examinations . This is often cited as a reason for practicing more but I can not fix my grade in 6.5 . It will make me feel happy if I solve this problem . Eventually, if you have leisure convenient, please, test us with some sample questions ( talking points ) by writing in both issues and make us as well . Let’s commonly apprentice about this website . I’m looking forward to knowing more from you . With warmest wishes, As ever, Hooman

I will be very direct with you. To get band score 7, you need to have a very strong level of English in which you have good use of English but with few errors. Your message above shows quite a lot of errors when you use vocabulary that is not appropriate. You clearly know a lot of vocabulary but not how to use it and what it really means. For example, “apprentice” is not a synonym for student. For this reason, you are not getting band 7 in your listening or reading etc. Of course, you will need to check your techniques and follow the right tips but at the end of the day, if your English is not band 7, it will be hard to get that score. Spend time developing your English. I don’t mean learning new words (you have a wide enough vocabulary) but learning more about the meaning of the words, collocations, paraphrasing correctly and how to use words appropriately. All the best Liz

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Hlo Dear liz.. firstly i would like to you say thanku for your support. second of all, can you plz recommend me books of good authors for preparation of ielts? I am weak in speaking module due to lack of ideas.please help me. Thanks

You could try the Collins IELTS speaking book. That has good ideas and vocabulary for various topics. Liz

Hi Liz , u r ways of study fanatastic,I need ur guidance i live near border problem regarding internet, I can buy ur task 2 any book I need 6 GN plz help me

Unfortunately, I don’t have a book for IELTS at present. Possibly in the future. Liz

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Dear Liz , I would like to buy your essay tips, please could you tell me as soon as possible ,I just booked my test for first of August . Beast regards Maria

At present, I have just opened my video course with in-depth lessons and tips for writing: http://subscriptions.viddler.com/IELTSLizStore I will add more lessons to my course in the coming months. All the best Liz

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Hello liz. The linking words you presented to are very helpful. Hope to hear more from your post. Thank you.

I’m glad you find them useful. They are so important to use in your essay. Liz

Hi liz. .I want to seek help from you in doing my essay. I am really having a hard to put my ideas. I need a band score of 7 in all categories. Please help me.

Unfortunately, I don’t offer individual tuition to help you. You should go through topics and research ideas for your essays. You can find some ideas on my blog and others online. Then practice adapting the ideas to suit the essay question and the instructions. Liz

hi liz. .ok. .I will do as you said. .I will read your blog. .thank you for patiently replying my issues. Godbless. .

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Im confused with the” to buy and to buying” from your examples

1. for example about 70% of people working in the UK resort to buying ready-made meals for convenience rather than doing home cooking

2. This can be seen by the growing number of working people who resort to buy ready-made meals for convenience instead of cooking at home

Could you please explain to me when should I use to buy and to buying ?

Thank you very much

Thanks for pointing it out. It’s a typo. I’ve put a comment in the video. All the best Liz

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Hi Liz. Guys.

I just found this website yesterday when I was looking for some stuff for ielts self preparation. Yes, I would like to take an exam and also like to ask you how long you recommend a prepation before the exam date?

It really depends on a number of factors, one of which is your understanding of the test and requirements of the band scores. If your English is suitable for the band score you are aiming for, you will only need to focus on exam skills to make sure you reach your potential. The skills will help you understand how to approach questions and what the examiner is looking for in your writing and speaking. Once you feel comfortable with all that, you will have a clear idea of how long you want to practice before your test. Whatever you decide, make sure you are frequently getting the band score you want in practice tests. All the best Liz

Thank u for your reply. I need least band 6. What do u think about level B2 communicator. Is possible to get that band and of course with preparation bfr exam. Thanks in advance

See this chart: http://www.ielts.org/researchers/common_european_framework.aspx Liz

Thank you. Looks possibly

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How should i start my preparation plz advice and accordlingly i will follow in Reading/Writing/Speaking/Listining

Regards, Mirza

You start in any way you want. I advise you to learn the content and question types of all skills and then start practicing. Then do practice tests to check your level. After that, start planning your development. Liz

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Thanks for the useful lesson .

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Hi Liz! I got overall 7.5 band score and the credit goes to you as well. Thankyou so much for being my virtual tutor. It’s my pleasure to study with you online. Preparation material and guidelines by you helped me a lot in achieving my target in first attempt. Goodluck to all the students who are preparing for IELTS ,”it’s not that much difficult” Thanks Liz for all your efforts, stay blessed always 🙂

Well done! It is an inspiration to all students 🙂

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Too good again, I am going to give my GT on 1st Aug. Thanking you so much. I like those additional examples by using linking devices.

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Hii ma’m! I am from Pakistan and I want to tell you that you are indeed a very great teacher. I’m gonna appear in coming IELTS on 1st August. I’m feeling really confident now after going through your very informative lectures here.

Thank you a lot for being so helpful! Need your prayers now 🙂

Regards, Madiha

Good luck !!

I got 5.5 band in first attempt R-4 L-5 W-5.5 S-6.5

Second attaempt R-4 W-4.5 L-4.5 S-5.5 Total band-4.5

Please advice me how i need to follow.I need 6 band in each module immigration.

Regards, Mirza Ehteshamulla Baig Kuwait

The key is probably your level of English. Your results are quite even so you will probably need to develop your English language to get a higher score. All the best Liz

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Did you give third attempt? How much u got?

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Dear Liz, When writing essays, we usually don’t have statistical data at hand. Is it OK to make up such information to give examples?

Sure, if you want. The examiner won’t know the difference. But you don’t need to give statistics. Examples can just be an example of a situation. Liz

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Hello Liz! I also have a question about statistics… Do we have to mention where we got the information from?

You can give examples in any way you wish.

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Dear Liz, Thank you so much for your very informative lesson here. It really helped me when I took the exam on 11th of July and I got a total band score of 7.5. You are indeed a blessing. God bless you more.

Regards, jen

Great news! Band 7.5 is a strong score. I hope you celebrated 🙂 Liz

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Essays That Worked

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The essays are a place to show us who you are and who you’ll be in our community.

It’s a chance to add depth to something that is important to you and tell the admissions committee more about your background or goals. Below you’ll find selected examples of essays that “worked,” as nominated by our admissions committee. In each of these essays, students were able to share stories from their everyday lives to reveal something about their character, values, and life that aligned with the culture and values at Hopkins.

Read essays that worked from Transfer applicants .

Hear from the class of 2027.

These selections represent just a few examples of essays we found impressive and helpful during the past admissions cycle. We hope these essays inspire you as you prepare to compose your own personal statements. The most important thing to remember is to be original as you share your own story, thoughts, and ideas with us.

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Ordering the Disorderly

Ellie’s essay skillfully uses the topic of entropy as an extended metaphor. Through it, we see reflections about who they are and who they aspire to be.

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Pack Light, But Be Prepared

In Pablo’s essay, the act of packing for a pilgrimage becomes a metaphor for the way humans accumulate experiences in their life’s journey and what we can learn from them. As we join Pablo through the diverse phases of their life, we gain insights into their character and values.

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Tikkun Olam

Julieta illustrates how the concept of Tikkun Olam, “a desire to help repair the world,” has shaped their passions and drives them to pursue experiences at Hopkins.

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Kashvi’s essay encapsulates a heartfelt journey of self-discovery and the invaluable teachings of Rock, their 10-year-old dog. Through the lens of their companionship, Kashvi walked us through valuable lessons on responsibility, friendship, patience, and unconditional love.

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Classical Reflections in Herstory

Maddie’s essay details their intellectual journey using their love of Greek classics. They incorporate details that reveal the roots of their academic interests: storytelling, literary devices, and translation. As their essay progresses, so do Maddie’s intellectual curiosities.

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My Spotify Playlist

Alyssa’s essay reflects on special memories through the creative lens of Spotify playlists. They use three examples to highlight their experiences with their tennis team, finding a virtual community during the pandemic, and co-founding a nonprofit to help younger students learn about STEM.

More essays that worked

We share essays from previously admitted students—along with feedback from our admissions committee—so you can understand what made them effective and how to start crafting your own.

essay link examples

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16 Strong College Essay Examples from Top Schools

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What’s Covered:

  • Common App Essays
  • Why This College Essays
  • Why This Major Essays
  • Extracurricular Essays
  • Overcoming Challenges Essays
  • Community Service Essays
  • Diversity Essays
  • Political/Global Issues Essays
  • Where to Get Feedback on Your Essays

Most high school students don’t get a lot of experience with creative writing, so the college essay can be especially daunting. Reading examples of successful essays, however, can help you understand what admissions officers are looking for.

In this post, we’ll share 16 college essay examples of many different topics. Most of the essay prompts fall into 8 different archetypes, and you can approach each prompt under that archetype in a similar way. We’ve grouped these examples by archetype so you can better structure your approach to college essays.

If you’re looking for school-specific guides, check out our 2022-2023 essay breakdowns .

Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Note: the essays are titled in this post for navigation purposes, but they were not originally titled. We also include the original prompt where possible.

The Common App essay goes to all of the schools on your list, unless those schools use a separate application platform. Because of this, it’s the most important essay in your portfolio, and likely the longest essay you’ll need to write (you get up to 650 words). 

The goal of this essay is to share a glimpse into who you are, what matters to you, and what you hope to achieve. It’s a chance to share your story. 

Learn more about how to write the Common App essay in our complete guide.

The Multiple Meanings of Point

Prompt: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 words)

Night had robbed the academy of its daytime colors, yet there was comfort in the dim lights that cast shadows of our advances against the bare studio walls. Silhouettes of roundhouse kicks, spin crescent kicks, uppercuts and the occasional butterfly kick danced while we sparred. She approached me, eyes narrowed with the trace of a smirk challenging me. “Ready spar!” Her arm began an upward trajectory targeting my shoulder, a common first move. I sidestepped — only to almost collide with another flying fist. Pivoting my right foot, I snapped my left leg, aiming my heel at her midsection. The center judge raised one finger. 

There was no time to celebrate, not in the traditional sense at least. Master Pollard gave a brief command greeted with a unanimous “Yes, sir” and the thud of 20 hands dropping-down-and-giving-him-30, while the “winners” celebrated their victory with laps as usual. 

Three years ago, seven-thirty in the evening meant I was a warrior. It meant standing up straighter, pushing a little harder, “Yes, sir” and “Yes, ma’am”, celebrating birthdays by breaking boards, never pointing your toes, and familiarity. Three years later, seven-thirty in the morning meant I was nervous. 

The room is uncomfortably large. The sprung floor soaks up the checkerboard of sunlight piercing through the colonial windows. The mirrored walls further illuminate the studio and I feel the light scrutinizing my sorry attempts at a pas de bourrée, while capturing the organic fluidity of the dancers around me. “Chassé en croix, grand battement, pique, pirouette.” I follow the graceful limbs of the woman in front of me, her legs floating ribbons, as she executes what seems to be a perfect ronds de jambes. Each movement remains a negotiation. With admirable patience, Ms. Tan casts me a sympathetic glance.   

There is no time to wallow in the misery that is my right foot. Taekwondo calls for dorsiflexion; pointed toes are synonymous with broken toes. My thoughts drag me into a flashback of the usual response to this painful mistake: “You might as well grab a tutu and head to the ballet studio next door.” Well, here I am Master Pollard, unfortunately still following your orders to never point my toes, but no longer feeling the satisfaction that comes with being a third degree black belt with 5 years of experience quite literally under her belt. It’s like being a white belt again — just in a leotard and ballet slippers. 

But the appetite for new beginnings that brought me here doesn’t falter. It is only reinforced by the classical rendition of “Dancing Queen” that floods the room and the ghost of familiarity that reassures me that this new beginning does not and will not erase the past. After years spent at the top, it’s hard to start over. But surrendering what you are only leads you to what you may become. In Taekwondo, we started each class reciting the tenets: honor, courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self-control, courage, humility, and knowledge, and I have never felt that I embodied those traits more so than when I started ballet. 

The thing about change is that it eventually stops making things so different. After nine different schools, four different countries, three different continents, fluency in Tamil, Norwegian, and English, there are more blurred lines than there are clear fragments. My life has not been a tactfully executed, gold medal-worthy Taekwondo form with each movement defined, nor has it been a series of frappés performed by a prima ballerina with each extension identical and precise, but thankfully it has been like the dynamics of a spinning back kick, fluid, and like my chances of landing a pirouette, unpredictable. 

The first obvious strength of this essay is the introduction—it is interesting and snappy and uses enough technical language that we want to figure out what the student is discussing. When writing introductions, students tend to walk the line between intriguing and confusing. It is important that your essay ends up on the intentionally intriguing side of that line—like this student does! We are a little confused at first, but by then introducing the idea of “sparring,” the student grounds their essay.

People often advise young writers to “show, not tell.” This student takes that advice a step further and makes the reader do a bit of work to figure out what they are telling us. Nowhere in this essay does it say “After years of Taekwondo, I made the difficult decision to switch over to ballet.” Rather, the student says “It’s like being a white belt again — just in a leotard and ballet slippers.” How powerful! 

After a lot of emotional language and imagery, this student finishes off their essay with very valuable (and necessary!) reflection. They show admissions officers that they are more than just a good writer—they are a mature and self-aware individual who would be beneficial to a college campus. Self-awareness comes through with statements like “surrendering what you are only leads you to what you may become” and maturity can be seen through the student’s discussion of values: “honor, courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self-control, courage, humility, and knowledge, and I have never felt that I embodied those traits more so than when I started ballet.”

Sparking Self-Awareness

Prompt: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (250-650 words)

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

First things first, this Common App essay is well-written. This student is definitely showing the admissions officers her ability to articulate her points beautifully and creatively. It starts with vivid images like that of the “rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free.” And because the prose is flowery (and beautiful!), the writer can get away with metaphors like “I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms” that might sound cheesy without the clear command of the English language that the writer quickly establishes.

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

While dialogue often comes off as cliche or trite, this student effectively incorporates her family members saying “Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” This is achieved through the apt use of the verb “taunted” to characterize the questioning and through the question’s thematic connection to the earlier image of the student as a rustic princess. Similarly, rhetorical questions can feel randomly placed in essays, but this student’s inclusion of the questions “Was I so dainty?” and “Was I that incapable?” feel perfectly justified after she establishes that she was pondering her failure.

Quite simply, this essay shows how quality writing can make a simple story outstandingly compelling. 

Why This College?

“Why This College?” is one of the most common essay prompts, likely because schools want to understand whether you’d be a good fit and how you’d use their resources.

This essay is one of the more straightforward ones you’ll write for college applications, but you still can and should allow your voice to shine through.

Learn more about how to write the “Why This College?” essay in our guide.

Prompt: How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania? Please answer this question given the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying (650 words).

Sister Simone Roach, a theorist of nursing ethics, said, “caring is the human mode of being.” I have long been inspired by Sister Roach’s Five C’s of Caring: commitment, conscience, competence, compassion, and confidence. Penn both embraces and fosters these values through a rigorous, interdisciplinary curriculum and unmatched access to service and volunteer opportunities.

COMMITMENT. Reading through the activities that Penn Quakers devote their time to (in addition to academics!) felt like drinking from a firehose in the best possible way. As a prospective nursing student with interests outside of my major, I value this level of flexibility. I plan to leverage Penn’s liberal arts curriculum to gain an in-depth understanding of the challenges LGBT people face, especially regarding healthcare access. Through courses like “Interactional Processes with LGBT Individuals” and volunteering at the Mazzoni Center for outreach, I hope to learn how to better support the Penn LGBT community as well as my family and friends, including my cousin, who came out as trans last year.

CONSCIENCE. As one of the first people in my family to attend a four-year university, I wanted a school that promoted a sense of moral responsibility among its students. At Penn, professors challenge their students to question and recreate their own set of morals by sparking thought- provoking, open-minded discussions. I can imagine myself advocating for universal healthcare in courses such as “Health Care Reform & Future of American Health System” and debating its merits with my peers. Studying in an environment where students confidently voice their opinions – conservative or liberal – will push me to question and strengthen my value system.

COMPETENCE. Two aspects that drew my attention to Penn’s BSN program were its high-quality research opportunities and hands-on nursing projects. Through its Office of Nursing Research, Penn connects students to faculty members who share similar research interests. As I volunteered at a nursing home in high school, I hope to work with Dr. Carthon to improve the quality of care for senior citizens. Seniors, especially minorities, face serious barriers to healthcare that I want to resolve. Additionally, Penn’s unique use of simulations to bridge the gap between classroom learning and real-world application impressed me. Using computerized manikins that mimic human responses, classes in Penn’s nursing program allow students to apply their emergency medical skills in a mass casualty simulation and monitor their actions afterward through a video system. Participating in this activity will help me identify my strengths and areas for improvement regarding crisis management and medical care in a controlled yet realistic setting. Research opportunities and simulations will develop my skills even before I interact with patients.

COMPASSION. I value giving back through community service, and I have a particular interest in Penn’s Community Champions and Nursing Students For Sexual & Reproductive Health (NSRH). As a four-year volunteer health educator, I hope to continue this work as a Community Champions member. I am excited to collaborate with medical students to teach fourth and fifth graders in the city about cardiology or lead a chair dance class for the elders at the LIFE Center. Furthermore, as a feminist who firmly believes in women’s abortion rights, I’d like to join NSRH in order to advocate for women’s health on campus. At Penn, I can work with like-minded people to make a meaningful difference.

CONFIDENCE. All of the Quakers that I have met possess one defining trait: confidence. Each student summarized their experiences at Penn as challenging but fulfilling. Although I expect my coursework to push me, from my conversations with current Quakers I know it will help me to be far more effective in my career.

The Five C’s of Caring are important heuristics for nursing, but they also provide insight into how I want to approach my time in college. I am eager to engage with these principles both as a nurse and as a Penn Quaker, and I can’t wait to start.

This prompt from Penn asks students to tailor their answer to their specific field of study. One great thing that this student does is identify their undergraduate school early, by mentioning “Sister Simone Roach, a theorist of nursing ethics.” You don’t want readers confused or searching through other parts of your application to figure out your major.

With a longer essay like this, it is important to establish structure. Some students organize their essay in a narrative form, using an anecdote from their past or predicting their future at a school. This student uses Roach’s 5 C’s of Caring as a framing device that organizes their essay around values. This works well!

While this essay occasionally loses voice, there are distinct moments where the student’s personality shines through. We see this with phrases like “felt like drinking from a fire hose in the best possible way” and “All of the Quakers that I have met possess one defining trait: confidence.” It is important to show off your personality to make your essay stand out. 

Finally, this student does a great job of referencing specific resources about Penn. It’s clear that they have done their research (they’ve even talked to current Quakers). They have dreams and ambitions that can only exist at Penn.

Prompt: What is it about Yale that has led you to apply? (125 words or fewer)

Coin collector and swimmer. Hungarian and Romanian. Critical and creative thinker. I was drawn to Yale because they don’t limit one’s mind with “or” but rather embrace unison with “and.” 

Wandering through the Beinecke Library, I prepare for my multidisciplinary Energy Studies capstone about the correlation between hedonism and climate change, making it my goal to find implications in environmental sociology. Under the tutelage of Assistant Professor Arielle Baskin-Sommers, I explore the emotional deficits of depression, utilizing neuroimaging to scrutinize my favorite branch of psychology: human perception. At Walden Peer Counseling, I integrate my peer support and active listening skills to foster an empathetic environment for the Yale community. Combining my interests in psychological and environmental studies is why I’m proud to be a Bulldog. 

This answer to the “Why This College” question is great because 1) the student shows their excitement about attending Yale 2) we learn the ways in which attending Yale will help them achieve their goals and 3) we learn their interests and identities.

In this response, you can find a prime example of the “Image of the Future” approach, as the student flashes forward and envisions their life at Yale, using present tense (“I explore,” “I integrate,” “I’m proud”). This approach is valuable if you are trying to emphasize your dedication to a specific school. Readers get the feeling that this student is constantly imagining themselves on campus—it feels like Yale really matters to them.

Starting this image with the Beinecke Library is great because the Beinecke Library only exists at Yale. It is important to tailor “Why This College” responses to each specific school. This student references a program of study, a professor, and an extracurricular that only exist at Yale. Additionally, they connect these unique resources to their interests—psychological and environmental studies.

Finally, we learn about the student (independent of academics) through this response. By the end of their 125 words, we know their hobbies, ethnicities, and social desires, in addition to their academic interests. It can be hard to tackle a 125-word response, but this student shows that it’s possible.

Why This Major?

The goal of this prompt is to understand how you came to be interested in your major and what you plan to do with it. For competitive programs like engineering, this essay helps admissions officers distinguish students who have a genuine passion and are most likely to succeed in the program. This is another more straightforward essay, but you do have a bit more freedom to include relevant anecdotes.

Learn more about how to write the “Why This Major?” essay in our guide.

Why Duke Engineering

Prompt: If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering as a first year applicant, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke (250 words).

One Christmas morning, when I was nine, I opened a snap circuit set from my grandmother. Although I had always loved math and science, I didn’t realize my passion for engineering until I spent the rest of winter break creating different circuits to power various lights, alarms, and sensors. Even after I outgrew the toy, I kept the set in my bedroom at home and knew I wanted to study engineering. Later, in a high school biology class, I learned that engineering didn’t only apply to circuits, but also to medical devices that could improve people’s quality of life. Biomedical engineering allows me to pursue my academic passions and help people at the same time.

Just as biology and engineering interact in biomedical engineering, I am fascinated by interdisciplinary research in my chosen career path. Duke offers unmatched resources, such as DUhatch and The Foundry, that will enrich my engineering education and help me practice creative problem-solving skills. The emphasis on entrepreneurship within these resources will also help me to make a helpful product. Duke’s Bass Connections program also interests me; I firmly believe that the most creative and necessary problem-solving comes by bringing people together from different backgrounds. Through this program, I can use my engineering education to solve complicated societal problems such as creating sustainable surgical tools for low-income countries. Along the way, I can learn alongside experts in the field. Duke’s openness and collaborative culture span across its academic disciplines, making Duke the best place for me to grow both as an engineer and as a social advocate.

This prompt calls for a complex answer. Students must explain both why they want to study engineering and why Duke is the best place for them to study engineering.

This student begins with a nice hook—a simple anecdote about a simple present with profound consequences. They do not fluff up their anecdote with flowery images or emotionally-loaded language; it is what it is, and it is compelling and sweet. As their response continues, they express a particular interest in problem-solving. They position problem-solving as a fundamental part of their interest in engineering (and a fundamental part of their fascination with their childhood toy). This helps readers to learn about the student!

Problem-solving is also the avenue by which they introduce Duke’s resources—DUhatch, The Foundry, and Duke’s Bass Connections program. It is important to notice that the student explains how these resources can help them achieve their future goals—it is not enough to simply identify the resources!

This response is interesting and focused. It clearly answers the prompt, and it feels honest and authentic.

Why Georgia Tech CompSci

Prompt: Why do you want to study your chosen major specifically at Georgia Tech? (300 words max)

I held my breath and hit RUN. Yes! A plump white cat jumped out and began to catch the falling pizzas. Although my Fat Cat project seems simple now, it was the beginning of an enthusiastic passion for computer science. Four years and thousands of hours of programming later, that passion has grown into an intense desire to explore how computer science can serve society. Every day, surrounded by technology that can recognize my face and recommend scarily-specific ads, I’m reminded of Uncle Ben’s advice to a young Spiderman: “with great power comes great responsibility”. Likewise, the need to ensure digital equality has skyrocketed with AI’s far-reaching presence in society; and I believe that digital fairness starts with equality in education.

The unique use of threads at the College of Computing perfectly matches my interests in AI and its potential use in education; the path of combined threads on Intelligence and People gives me the rare opportunity to delve deep into both areas. I’m particularly intrigued by the rich sets of both knowledge-based and data-driven intelligence courses, as I believe AI should not only show correlation of events, but also provide insight for why they occur.

In my four years as an enthusiastic online English tutor, I’ve worked hard to help students overcome both financial and technological obstacles in hopes of bringing quality education to people from diverse backgrounds. For this reason, I’m extremely excited by the many courses in the People thread that focus on education and human-centered technology. I’d love to explore how to integrate AI technology into the teaching process to make education more available, affordable, and effective for people everywhere. And with the innumerable opportunities that Georgia Tech has to offer, I know that I will be able to go further here than anywhere else.

With a “Why This Major” essay, you want to avoid using all of your words to tell a story. That being said, stories are a great way to show your personality and make your essay stand out. This student’s story takes up only their first 21 words, but it positions the student as fun and funny and provides an endearing image of cats and pizzas—who doesn’t love cats and pizzas? There are other moments when the student’s personality shines through also, like the Spiderman reference.

While this pop culture reference adds color, it also is important for what the student is getting at: their passion. They want to go into computer science to address the issues of security and equity that are on the industry’s mind, and they acknowledge these concerns with their comments about “scarily-specific ads” and their statement that “the need to ensure digital equality has skyrocketed.” This student is self-aware and aware of the state of the industry. This aptitude will be appealing for admissions officers.

The conversation around “threads” is essential for this student’s response because the prompt asks specifically about the major at Georgia Tech and it is the only thing they reference that is specific to Georgia Tech. Threads are great, but this student would have benefitted from expanding on other opportunities specific to Georgia Tech later in the essay, instead of simply inserting “innumerable opportunities.”

Overall, this student shows personality, passion, and aptitude—precisely what admissions officers want to see!

Extracurricular Essay

You’re asked to describe your activities on the Common App, but chances are, you have at least one extracurricular that’s impacted you in a way you can’t explain in 150 characters.

This essay archetype allows you to share how your most important activity shaped you and how you might use those lessons learned in the future. You are definitely welcome to share anecdotes and use a narrative approach, but remember to include some reflection. A common mistake students make is to only describe the activity without sharing how it impacted them.

Learn more about how to write the Extracurricular Essay in our guide.

A Dedicated Musician

My fingers raced across the keys, rapidly striking one after another. My body swayed with the music as my hands raced across the piano. Crashing onto the final chord, it was over as quickly as it had begun. My shoulders relaxed and I couldn’t help but break into a satisfied grin. I had just played the Moonlight Sonata’s third movement, a longtime dream of mine. 

Four short months ago, though, I had considered it impossible. The piece’s tempo was impossibly fast, its notes stretching between each end of the piano, forcing me to reach farther than I had ever dared. It was 17 pages of the most fragile and intricate melodies I had ever encountered. 

But that summer, I found myself ready to take on the challenge. With the end of the school year, I was released from my commitment to practicing for band and solo performances. I was now free to determine my own musical path: either succeed in learning the piece, or let it defeat me for the third summer in a row. 

Over those few months, I spent countless hours practicing the same notes until they burned a permanent place in my memory, creating a soundtrack for even my dreams. Some would say I’ve mastered the piece, but as a musician I know better. Now that I can play it, I am eager to take the next step and add in layers of musicality and expression to make the once-impossible piece even more beautiful.

In this response, the student uses their extracurricular, piano, as a way to emphasize their positive qualities. At the beginning, readers are invited on a journey with the student where we feel their struggle, their intensity, and ultimately their satisfaction. With this descriptive image, we form a valuable connection with the student.

Then, we get to learn about what makes this student special: their dedication and work ethic. The fact that this student describes their desire to be productive during the summer shows an intensity that is appealing to admissions officers. Additionally, the growth mindset that this student emphasizes in their conclusion is appealing to admissions officers.

The Extracurricular Essay can be seen as an opportunity to characterize yourself. This student clearly identified their positive qualities, then used the Extracurricular Essay as a way to articulate them.

A Complicated Relationship with the School Newspaper

My school’s newspaper and I have a typical love-hate relationship; some days I want nothing more than to pass two hours writing and formatting articles, while on others the mere thought of student journalism makes me shiver. Still, as we’re entering our fourth year together, you could consider us relatively stable. We’ve learned to accept each other’s differences; at this point I’ve become comfortable spending an entire Friday night preparing for an upcoming issue, and I hardly even notice the snail-like speed of our computers. I’ve even benefitted from the polygamous nature of our relationship—with twelve other editors, there’s a lot of cooperation involved. Perverse as it may be, from that teamwork I’ve both gained some of my closest friends and improved my organizational and time-management skills. And though leaving it in the hands of new editors next year will be difficult, I know our time together has only better prepared me for future relationships.

This response is great. It’s cute and endearing and, importantly, tells readers a lot about the student who wrote it. Framing this essay in the context of a “love-hate relationship,” then supplementing with comments like “We’ve learned to accept each other’s differences” allows this student to advertise their maturity in a unique and engaging way. 

While Extracurricular Essays can be a place to show how you’ve grown within an activity, they can also be a place to show how you’ve grown through an activity. At the end of this essay, readers think that this student is mature and enjoyable, and we think that their experience with the school newspaper helped make them that way.

Participating in Democracy

Prompt: Research shows that an ability to learn from experiences outside the classroom correlates with success in college. What was your greatest learning experience over the past 4 years that took place outside of the traditional classroom? (250 words) 

The cool, white halls of the Rayburn House office building contrasted with the bustling energy of interns entertaining tourists, staffers rushing to cover committee meetings, and my fellow conference attendees separating to meet with our respective congresspeople. Through civics and US history classes, I had learned about our government, but simply hearing the legislative process outlined didn’t prepare me to navigate it. It was my first political conference, and, after learning about congressional mechanics during breakout sessions, I was lobbying my representative about an upcoming vote crucial to the US-Middle East relationship. As the daughter of Iranian immigrants, my whole life had led me to the moment when I could speak on behalf of the family members who had not emigrated with my parents.

As I sat down with my congresswoman’s chief of staff, I truly felt like a participant in democracy; I was exercising my right to be heard as a young American. Through this educational conference, I developed a plan of action to raise my voice. When I returned home, I signed up to volunteer with the state chapter of the Democratic Party. I sponsored letter-writing campaigns, canvassed for local elections, and even pursued an internship with a state senate campaign. I know that I don’t need to be old enough to vote to effect change. Most importantly, I also know that I want to study government—I want to make a difference for my communities in the United States and the Middle East throughout my career. 

While this prompt is about extracurricular activities, it specifically references the idea that the extracurricular should support the curricular. It is focused on experiential learning for future career success. This student wants to study government, so they chose to describe an experience of hands-on learning within their field—an apt choice!

As this student discusses their extracurricular experience, they also clue readers into their future goals—they want to help Middle Eastern communities. Admissions officers love when students mention concrete plans with a solid foundation. Here, the foundation comes from this student’s ethnicity. With lines like “my whole life had led me to the moment when I could speak on behalf of the family members who had not emigrated with my parents,” the student assures admissions officers of their emotional connection to their future field.

The strength of this essay comes from its connections. It connects the student’s extracurricular activity to their studies and connects theirs studies to their personal history.

Overcoming Challenges

You’re going to face a lot of setbacks in college, so admissions officers want to make you’re you have the resilience and resolve to overcome them. This essay is your chance to be vulnerable and connect to admissions officers on an emotional level.

Learn more about how to write the Overcoming Challenges Essay in our guide.

The Student Becomes the Master

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one. 

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay is great because it has a strong introduction and conclusion. The introduction is notably suspenseful and draws readers into the story. Because we know it is a college essay, we can assume that the student is one of the competitors, but at the same time, this introduction feels intentionally ambiguous as if the writer could be a competitor, a coach, a sibling of a competitor, or anyone else in the situation.

As we continue reading the essay, we learn that the writer is, in fact, the competitor. Readers also learn a lot about the student’s values as we hear their thoughts: “I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was.” Ultimately, the conflict and inner and outer turmoil is resolved through the “Same, but Different” ending technique as the student places themself in the same environment that we saw in the intro, but experiencing it differently due to their actions throughout the narrative. This is a very compelling strategy!

Growing Sensitivity to Struggles

Prompt: The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (650 words)

“You ruined my life!” After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain.

Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.

When my parents learned about The Green Academy, we hoped it would be an opportunity for me to find not only an academically challenging environment, but also – perhaps more importantly – a community. This meant transferring the family from Drumfield to Kingston. And while there was concern about Max, we all believed that given his sociable nature, moving would be far less impactful on him than staying put might be on me.

As it turned out, Green Academy was everything I’d hoped for. I was ecstatic to discover a group of students with whom I shared interests and could truly engage. Preoccupied with new friends and a rigorous course load, I failed to notice that the tables had turned. Max, lost in the fray and grappling with how to make connections in his enormous new high school, had become withdrawn and lonely. It took me until Christmas time – and a massive argument – to recognize how difficult the transition had been for my brother, let alone that he blamed me for it.

Through my own journey of searching for academic peers, in addition to coming out as gay when I was 12, I had developed deep empathy for those who had trouble fitting in. It was a pain I knew well and could easily relate to. Yet after Max’s outburst, my first response was to protest that our parents – not I – had chosen to move us here. In my heart, though, I knew that regardless of who had made the decision, we ended up in Kingston for my benefit. I was ashamed that, while I saw myself as genuinely compassionate, I had been oblivious to the heartache of the person closest to me. I could no longer ignore it – and I didn’t want to.

We stayed up half the night talking, and the conversation took an unexpected turn. Max opened up and shared that it wasn’t just about the move. He told me how challenging school had always been for him, due to his dyslexia, and that the ever-present comparison to me had only deepened his pain.

We had been in parallel battles the whole time and, yet, I only saw that Max was in distress once he experienced problems with which I directly identified. I’d long thought Max had it so easy – all because he had friends. The truth was, he didn’t need to experience my personal brand of sorrow in order for me to relate – he had felt plenty of his own.

My failure to recognize Max’s suffering brought home for me the profound universality and diversity of personal struggle; everyone has insecurities, everyone has woes, and everyone – most certainly – has pain. I am acutely grateful for the conversations he and I shared around all of this, because I believe our relationship has been fundamentally strengthened by a deeper understanding of one another. Further, this experience has reinforced the value of constantly striving for deeper sensitivity to the hidden struggles of those around me. I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story.

Here you can find a prime example that you don’t have to have fabulous imagery or flowery prose to write a successful essay. You just have to be clear and say something that matters. This essay is simple and beautiful. It almost feels like having a conversation with a friend and learning that they are an even better person than you already thought they were.

Through this narrative, readers learn a lot about the writer—where they’re from, what their family life is like, what their challenges were as a kid, and even their sexuality. We also learn a lot about their values—notably, the value they place on awareness, improvement, and consideration of others. Though they never explicitly state it (which is great because it is still crystal clear!), this student’s ending of “I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story” shows that they are constantly striving for improvement and finding lessons anywhere they can get them in life.

Community Service/Impact on the Community

Colleges want students who will positively impact the campus community and go on to make change in the world after they graduate. This essay is similar to the Extracurricular Essay, but you need to focus on a situation where you impacted others. 

Learn more about how to write the Community Service Essay in our guide.

Academic Signing Day

Prompt: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

The scent of eucalyptus caressed my nose in a gentle breeze. Spring had arrived. Senior class activities were here. As a sophomore, I noticed a difference between athletic and academic seniors at my high school; one received recognition while the other received silence. I wanted to create an event celebrating students academically-committed to four-years, community colleges, trades schools, and military programs. This event was Academic Signing Day.

The leadership label, “Events Coordinator,” felt heavy on my introverted mind. I usually was setting up for rallies and spirit weeks, being overlooked around the exuberant nature of my peers. 

I knew a change of mind was needed; I designed flyers, painted posters, presented powerpoints, created student-led committees, and practiced countless hours for my introductory speech. Each committee would play a vital role on event day: one dedicated to refreshments, another to technology, and one for decorations. The fourth-month planning was a laborious joy, but I was still fearful of being in the spotlight. Being acknowledged by hundreds of people was new to me.     

The day was here. Parents filled the stands of the multi-purpose room. The atmosphere was tense; I could feel the angst building in my throat, worried about the impression I would leave. Applause followed each of the 400 students as they walked to their college table, indicating my time to speak. 

I walked up to the stand, hands clammy, expression tranquil, my words echoing to the audience. I thought my speech would be met by the sounds of crickets; instead, smiles lit up the stands, realizing my voice shone through my actions. I was finally coming out of my shell. The floor was met by confetti as I was met by the sincerity of staff, students, and parents, solidifying the event for years to come. 

Academic students were no longer overshadowed. Their accomplishments were equally recognized to their athletic counterparts. The school culture of athletics over academics was no longer imbalanced. Now, every time I smell eucalyptus, it is a friendly reminder that on Academic Signing Day, not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.

This essay answers the prompt nicely because the student describes a contribution with a lasting legacy. Academic Signing Day will affect this high school in the future and it affected this student’s self-development—an idea summed up nicely with their last phrase “not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.”

With Community Service essays, students sometimes take small contributions and stretch them. And, oftentimes, the stretch is very obvious. Here, the student shows us that Academic Signing Day actually mattered by mentioning four months of planning and hundreds of students and parents. They also make their involvement in Academic Signing Day clear—it was their idea and they were in charge, and that’s why they gave the introductory speech.

Use this response as an example of the type of focused contribution that makes for a convincing Community Service Essay.

Climate Change Rally

Prompt: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (technically not community service, but the response works)

Let’s fast-forward time. Strides were made toward racial equality. Healthcare is accessible to all; however, one issue remains. Our aquatic ecosystems are parched with dead coral from ocean acidification. Climate change has prevailed.

Rewind to the present day.

My activism skills are how I express my concerns for the environment. Whether I play on sandy beaches or rest under forest treetops, nature offers me an escape from the haste of the world. When my body is met by trash in the ocean or my nose is met by harmful pollutants, Earth’s pain becomes my own. 

Substituting coffee grinds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale. I often found performative activism to be ineffective when communicating climate concerns. My days of reposting awareness graphics on social media never filled the ambition I had left to put my activism skills to greater use. I decided to share my ecocentric worldview with a coalition of environmentalists and host a climate change rally outside my high school.

Meetings were scheduled where I informed students about the unseen impact they have on the oceans and local habitual communities. My fingers were cramped from all the constant typing and investigating of micro causes of the Pacific Waste Patch, creating reusable flyers, displaying steps people could take from home in reducing their carbon footprint. I aided my fellow environmentalists in translating these flyers into other languages, repeating this process hourly, for five days, up until rally day.  

It was 7:00 AM. The faces of 100 students were shouting, “The climate is changing, why can’t we?” I proudly walked on the dewy grass, grabbing the microphone, repeating those same words. The rally not only taught me efficient methods of communication but it echoed my environmental activism to the masses. The City of Corona would be the first of many cities to see my activism, as more rallies were planned for various parts of SoCal. My once unfulfilled ambition was fueled by my tangible activism, understanding that it takes more than one person to make an environmental impact.

Like with the last example, this student describes a focused event with a lasting legacy. That’s a perfect place to start! By the end of this essay, we have an image of the cause of this student’s passion and the effect of this student’s passion. There are no unanswered questions.

This student supplements their focused topic with engaging and exciting writing to make for an easy-to-read and enjoyable essay. One of the largest strengths of this response is its pace. From the very beginning, we are invited to “fast-forward” and “rewind” with the writer. Then, after we center ourselves in real-time, this writer keeps their quick pace with sentences like “Substituting coffee grounds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale.” Community Service essays run the risk of turning boring, but this unique pacing keeps things interesting.

Having a diverse class provides a richness of different perspectives and encourages open-mindedness among the student body. The Diversity Essay is also somewhat similar to the Extracurricular and Community Service Essays, but it focuses more on what you might bring to the campus community because of your unique experiences or identities.

Learn more about how to write the Diversity Essay in our guide.

A Story of a Young Skater

​​“Everyone follow me!” I smiled at five wide-eyed skaters before pushing off into a spiral. I glanced behind me hopefully, only to see my students standing frozen like statues, the fear in their eyes as clear as the ice they swayed on. “Come on!” I said encouragingly, but the only response I elicited was the slow shake of their heads. My first day as a Learn-to-Skate coach was not going as planned. 

But amid my frustration, I was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater. At seven, I had been fascinated by Olympic performers who executed thrilling high jumps and dizzying spins with apparent ease, and I dreamed to one day do the same. My first few months on skates, however, sent these hopes crashing down: my attempts at slaloms and toe-loops were shadowed by a stubborn fear of falling, which even the helmet, elbow pads, and two pairs of mittens I had armed myself with couldn’t mitigate. Nonetheless, my coach remained unfailingly optimistic, motivating me through my worst spills and teaching me to find opportunities in failures. With his encouragement, I learned to push aside my fears and attack each jump with calm and confidence; it’s the hope that I can help others do the same that now inspires me to coach.

I remember the day a frustrated staff member directed Oliver, a particularly hesitant young skater, toward me, hoping that my patience and steady encouragement might help him improve. Having stood in Oliver’s skates not much earlier myself, I completely empathized with his worries but also saw within him the potential to overcome his fears and succeed. 

To alleviate his anxiety, I held Oliver’s hand as we inched around the rink, cheering him on at every turn. I soon found though, that this only increased his fear of gliding on his own, so I changed my approach, making lessons as exciting as possible in hopes that he would catch the skating bug and take off. In the weeks that followed, we held relay races, played “freeze-skate” and “ice-potato”, and raced through obstacle courses; gradually, with each slip and subsequent success, his fear began to abate. I watched Oliver’s eyes widen in excitement with every skill he learned, and not long after, he earned his first skating badge. Together we celebrated this milestone, his ecstasy fueling my excitement and his pride mirroring my own. At that moment, I was both teacher and student, his progress instilling in me the importance of patience and a positive attitude. 

It’s been more than ten years since I bundled up and stepped onto the ice for the first time. Since then, my tolerance for the cold has remained stubbornly low, but the rest of me has certainly changed. In sharing my passion for skating, I have found a wonderful community of eager athletes, loving parents, and dedicated coaches from whom I have learned invaluable lessons and wisdom. My fellow staffers have been with me, both as friends and colleagues, and the relationships I’ve formed have given me far more poise, confidence, and appreciation for others. Likewise, my relationships with parents have given me an even greater gratitude for the role they play: no one goes to the rink without a parent behind the wheel! 

Since that first lesson, I have mentored dozens of children, and over the years, witnessed tentative steps transform into powerful glides and tears give way to delighted grins. What I have shared with my students has been among the greatest joys of my life, something I will cherish forever. It’s funny: when I began skating, what pushed me through the early morning practices was the prospect of winning an Olympic medal. Now, what excites me is the chance to work with my students, to help them grow, and to give back to the sport that has brought me so much happiness. 

This response is a great example of how Diversity doesn’t have to mean race, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, age, or ability. Diversity can mean whatever you want it to mean—whatever unique experience(s) you have to bring to the table!

A major strength of this essay comes in its narrative organization. When reading this first paragraph, we feel for the young skaters and understand their fear—skating sounds scary! Then, because the writer sets us up to feel this empathy, the transition to the second paragraph where the student describes their empathy for the young skaters is particularly powerful. It’s like we are all in it together! The student’s empathy for the young skaters also serves as an outstanding, seamless transition to the applicant discussing their personal journey with skating: “I was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater.”

This essay positions the applicant as a grounded and caring individual. They are caring towards the young skaters—changing their teaching style to try to help the young skaters and feeling the young skaters’ emotions with them—but they are also appreciative to those who helped them as they reference their fellow staffers and parents. This shows great maturity—a favorable quality in the eyes of an admissions officer.

At the end of the essay, we know a lot about this student and are convinced that they would be a good addition to a college campus!

Finding Community in the Rainforest

Prompt: Duke University seeks a talented, engaged student body that embodies the wide range of human experience; we believe that the diversity of our students makes our community stronger. If you’d like to share a perspective you bring or experiences you’ve had to help us understand you better—perhaps related to a community you belong to, your sexual orientation or gender identity, or your family or cultural background—we encourage you to do so. Real people are reading your application, and we want to do our best to understand and appreciate the real people applying to Duke (250 words).

I never understood the power of community until I left home to join seven strangers in the Ecuadorian rainforest. Although we flew in from distant corners of the U.S., we shared a common purpose: immersing ourselves in our passion for protecting the natural world.

Back home in my predominantly conservative suburb, my neighbors had brushed off environmental concerns. My classmates debated the feasibility of Trump’s wall, not the deteriorating state of our planet. Contrastingly, these seven strangers delighted in bird-watching, brightened at the mention of medicinal tree sap, and understood why I once ran across a four-lane highway to retrieve discarded beer cans. Their histories barely resembled mine, yet our values aligned intimately. We did not hesitate to joke about bullet ants, gush about the versatility of tree bark, or discuss the destructive consequences of materialism. Together, we let our inner tree huggers run free.

In the short life of our little community, we did what we thought was impossible. By feeding on each other’s infectious tenacity, we cultivated an atmosphere that deepened our commitment to our values and empowered us to speak out on behalf of the environment. After a week of stimulating conversations and introspective revelations about engaging people from our hometowns in environmental advocacy, we developed a shared determination to devote our lives to this cause.

As we shared a goodbye hug, my new friend whispered, “The world needs saving. Someone’s gotta do it.” For the first time, I believed that someone could be me.

This response is so wholesome and relatable. We all have things that we just need to geek out over and this student expresses the joy that came when they found a community where they could geek out about the environment. Passion is fundamental to university life and should find its way into successful applications.

Like the last response, this essay finds strength in the fact that readers feel for the student. We get a little bit of backstory about where they come from and how they felt silenced—“Back home in my predominantly conservative suburb, my neighbors had brushed off environmental concerns”—, so it’s easy to feel joy for them when they get set free.

This student displays clear values: community, ecoconsciousness, dedication, and compassion. An admissions officer who reads Diversity essays is looking for students with strong values and a desire to contribute to a university community—sounds like this student!  

Political/Global Issues

Colleges want to build engaged citizens, and the Political/Global Issues Essay allows them to better understand what you care about and whether your values align with theirs. In this essay, you’re most commonly asked to describe an issue, why you care about it, and what you’ve done or hope to do to address it. 

Learn more about how to write the Political/Global Issues Essay in our guide.

Note: this prompt is not a typical political/global issues essay, but the essay itself would be a strong response to a political/global issues prompt.

Fighting Violence Against Women

Prompt: Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a starting point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation, title and author at the beginning of your essay. (250-650 words)

“One of the great challenges of our time is that the disparities we face today have more complex causes and point less straightforwardly to solutions.” 

– Omar Wasow, assistant professor of politics, Princeton University. This quote is taken from Professor Wasow’s January 2014 speech at the Martin Luther King Day celebration at Princeton University. 

The air is crisp and cool, nipping at my ears as I walk under a curtain of darkness that drapes over the sky, starless. It is a Friday night in downtown Corpus Christi, a rare moment of peace in my home city filled with the laughter of strangers and colorful lights of street vendors. But I cannot focus. 

My feet stride quickly down the sidewalk, my hand grasps on to the pepper spray my parents gifted me for my sixteenth birthday. My eyes ignore the surrounding city life, focusing instead on a pair of tall figures walking in my direction. I mentally ask myself if they turned with me on the last street corner. I do not remember, so I pick up the pace again. All the while, my mind runs over stories of young women being assaulted, kidnapped, and raped on the street. I remember my mother’s voice reminding me to keep my chin up, back straight, eyes and ears alert. 

At a young age, I learned that harassment is a part of daily life for women. I fell victim to period-shaming when I was thirteen, received my first catcall when I was fourteen, and was nonconsensually grabbed by a man soliciting on the street when I was fifteen. For women, assault does not just happen to us— its gory details leave an imprint in our lives, infecting the way we perceive the world. And while movements such as the Women’s March and #MeToo have given victims of sexual violence a voice, harassment still manifests itself in the lives of millions of women across the nation. Symbolic gestures are important in spreading awareness but, upon learning that a surprising number of men are oblivious to the frequent harassment that women experience, I now realize that addressing this complex issue requires a deeper level of activism within our local communities. 

Frustrated with incessant cases of harassment against women, I understood at sixteen years old that change necessitates action. During my junior year, I became an intern with a judge whose campaign for office focused on a need for domestic violence reform. This experience enabled me to engage in constructive dialogue with middle and high school students on how to prevent domestic violence. As I listened to young men uneasily admit their ignorance and young women bravely share their experiences in an effort to spread awareness, I learned that breaking down systems of inequity requires changing an entire culture. I once believed that the problem of harassment would dissipate after politicians and celebrities denounce inappropriate behavior to their global audience. But today, I see that effecting large-scale change comes from the “small” lessons we teach at home and in schools. Concerning women’s empowerment, the effects of Hollywood activism do not trickle down enough. Activism must also trickle up and it depends on our willingness to fight complacency. 

Finding the solution to the long-lasting problem of violence against women is a work-in-progress, but it is a process that is persistently moving. In my life, for every uncomfortable conversation that I bridge, I make the world a bit more sensitive to the unspoken struggle that it is to be a woman. I am no longer passively waiting for others to let me live in a world where I can stand alone under the expanse of darkness on a city street, utterly alone and at peace. I, too, deserve the night sky.

As this student addresses an important social issue, she makes the reasons for her passion clear—personal experiences. Because she begins with an extended anecdote, readers are able to feel connected to the student and become invested in what she has to say.

Additionally, through her powerful ending—“I, too, deserve the night sky”—which connects back to her beginning— “as I walk under a curtain of darkness that drapes over the sky”—this student illustrates a mastery of language. Her engagement with other writing techniques that further her argument, like the emphasis on time—“gifted to me for my sixteenth birthday,” “when I was thirteen,” “when I was fourteen,” etc.—also illustrates her mastery of language.

While this student proves herself a good writer, she also positions herself as motivated and ambitious. She turns her passions into action and fights for them. That is just what admissions officers want to see in a Political/Global issues essay!

Where to Get Feedback on Your College Essays

Once you’ve written your college essays, you’ll want to get feedback on them. Since these essays are important to your chances of acceptance, you should prepare to go through several rounds of edits. 

Not sure who to ask for feedback? That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review resource. You can get comments from another student going through the process and also edit other students’ essays to improve your own writing. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools.  Find the right advisor for you  to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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essay link examples

40 Best Essays of All Time (Including Links & Writing Tips)

I had little money (buying forty collections of essays was out of the question) so I’ve found them online instead. I’ve hacked through piles of them, and finally, I’ve found the great ones. Now I want to share the whole list with you (with the addition of my notes about writing). Each item on the list has a direct link to the essay, so please click away and indulge yourself. Also, next to each essay, there’s an image of the book that contains the original work.

About this essay list:

Reading essays is like indulging in candy; once you start, it’s hard to stop. I sought out essays that were not only well-crafted but also impactful. These pieces genuinely shifted my perspective. Whether you’re diving in for enjoyment or to hone your writing, these essays promise to leave an imprint. It’s fascinating how an essay can resonate with you, and even if details fade, its essence remains. I haven’t ranked them in any way; they’re all stellar. Skim through, explore the summaries, and pick up some writing tips along the way. For more essay gems, consider “Best American Essays” by Joyce Carol Oates or “101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think” curated by Brianna Wiest.

40 Best Essays of All Time (With Links And Writing Tips)

1. david sedaris – laugh, kookaburra.

A great family drama takes place against the backdrop of the Australian wilderness. And the Kookaburra laughs… This is one of the top essays of the lot. It’s a great mixture of family reminiscences, travel writing, and advice on what’s most important in life. You’ll also learn an awful lot about the curious culture of the Aussies.

Writing tips from the essay:

2. charles d’ambrosio – documents.

Do you think your life punches you in the face all too often? After reading this essay, you will change your mind. Reading about loss and hardships often makes us sad at first, but then enables us to feel grateful for our lives . D’Ambrosio shares his documents (poems, letters) that had a major impact on his life, and brilliantly shows how not to let go of the past.

3. E. B. White – Once more to the lake

4. zadie smith – fail better.

Aspiring writers feel tremendous pressure to perform. The daily quota of words often turns out to be nothing more than gibberish. What then? Also, should the writer please the reader or should she be fully independent? What does it mean to be a writer, anyway? This essay is an attempt to answer these questions, but its contents are not only meant for scribblers. Within it, you’ll find some great notes about literary criticism, how we treat art , and the responsibility of the reader.

5. Virginia Woolf – Death of the Moth

6. meghan daum – my misspent youth, 7. roger ebert – go gentle into that good night.

Probably the greatest film critic of all time, Roger Ebert, tells us not to rage against the dying of the light. This essay is full of courage, erudition, and humanism. From it, we learn about what it means to be dying (Hitchens’ “Mortality” is another great work on that theme). But there’s so much more. It’s a great celebration of life too. It’s about not giving up, and sticking to your principles until the very end. It brings to mind the famous scene from Dead Poets Society where John Keating (Robin Williams) tells his students: “Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary”.

8. George Orwell – Shooting an Elephant

9. george orwell – a hanging, 10. christopher hitchens – assassins of the mind, 11. christopher hitchens – the new commandments, 12. phillip lopate – against joie de vivre, 13. philip larkin – the pleasure principle, 14. sigmund freud – thoughts for the times on war and death, 15. zadie smith – some notes on attunement.

“You are privy to a great becoming, but you recognize nothing” – Francis Dolarhyde. This one is about the elusiveness of change occurring within you. For Zadie, it was hard to attune to the vibes of Joni Mitchell – especially her Blue album. But eventually, she grew up to appreciate her genius, and all the other things changed as well. This top essay is all about the relationship between humans, and art. We shouldn’t like art because we’re supposed to. We should like it because it has an instantaneous, emotional effect on us. Although, according to Stansfield (Gary Oldman) in Léon, liking Beethoven is rather mandatory.

16. Annie Dillard – Total Eclipse

17. édouard levé – when i look at a strawberry, i think of a tongue, 18. gloria e. anzaldúa – how to tame a wild tongue, 19. kurt vonnegut – dispatch from a man without a country, 20. mary ruefle – on fear.

Most psychologists and gurus agree that fear is the greatest enemy of success or any creative activity. It’s programmed into our minds to keep us away from imaginary harm. Mary Ruefle takes on this basic human emotion with flair. She explores fear from so many angles (especially in the world of poetry-writing) that at the end of this personal essay, you will look at it, dissect it, untangle it, and hopefully be able to say “f**k you” the next time your brain is trying to stop you.

21. Susan Sontag – Against Interpretation

22. nora ephron – a few words about breasts, 23. carl sagan – does truth matter – science, pseudoscience, and civilization, 24. paul graham – how to do what you love, 25. john jeremiah sullivan – mister lytle, 26. joan didion – on self respect, 27. susan sontag – notes on camp, 28. ralph waldo emerson – self-reliance, 29. david foster wallace – consider the lobster, 30. david foster wallace – the nature of the fun.

The famous novelist and author of the most powerful commencement speech ever done is going to tell you about the joys and sorrows of writing a work of fiction. It’s like taking care of a mutant child that constantly oozes smelly liquids. But you love that child and you want others to love it too. It’s a very humorous account of what it means to be an author. If you ever plan to write a novel, you should read that one. And the story about the Chinese farmer is just priceless.

31. Margaret Atwood – Attitude

32. jo ann beard – the fourth state of matter, 33. terence mckenna – tryptamine hallucinogens and consciousness, 34. eudora welty – the little store, 35. john mcphee – the search for marvin gardens.

The Search for Marvin Gardens contains many layers of meaning. It’s a story about a Monopoly championship, but also, it’s the author’s search for the lost streets visible on the board of the famous board game. It also presents a historical perspective on the rise and fall of civilizations, and on Atlantic City, which once was a lively place, and then, slowly declined, the streets filled with dirt and broken windows.

36. Maxine Hong Kingston – No Name Woman

37. joan didion – on keeping a notebook, 38. joan didion – goodbye to all that, 39. george orwell – reflections on gandhi, 40. george orwell – politics and the english language, other essays you may find interesting, oliver sacks – on libraries, noam chomsky – the responsibility of intellectuals, sam harris – the riddle of the gun.

Sam Harris, now a famous philosopher and neuroscientist, takes on the problem of gun control in the United States. His thoughts are clear of prejudice. After reading this, you’ll appreciate the value of logical discourse overheated, irrational debate that more often than not has real implications on policy.

Tim Ferriss – Some Practical Thoughts on Suicide

Edward said – reflections on exile, richard feynman – it’s as simple as one, two, three…, rabindranath tagore – the religion of the forest, richard dawkins – letter to his 10-year-old daughter.

Every father should be able to articulate his philosophy of life to his children. With this letter that’s similar to what you find in the Paris Review essays , the famed atheist and defender of reason, Richard Dawkins, does exactly that. It’s beautifully written and stresses the importance of looking at evidence when we’re trying to make sense of the world.

Albert Camus – The Minotaur (or, The Stop In Oran)

Koty neelis – 21 incredible life lessons from anthony bourdain, lucius annaeus seneca – on the shortness of life, bertrand russell – in praise of idleness, james baldwin – stranger in the village.

It’s an essay on the author’s experiences as an African-American in a Swiss village, exploring race, identity, and alienation while highlighting the complexities of racial dynamics and the quest for belonging.

Bonus – More writing tips from two great books

The sense of style – by steven pinker, on writing well – by william zinsser, now immerse yourself in the world of essays, rafal reyzer.

Hey there, welcome to my blog! I'm a full-time entrepreneur building two companies, a digital marketer, and a content creator with 10+ years of experience. I started RafalReyzer.com to provide you with great tools and strategies you can use to become a proficient digital marketer and achieve freedom through online creativity. My site is a one-stop shop for digital marketers, and content enthusiasts who want to be independent, earn more money, and create beautiful things. Explore my journey here , and don't miss out on my AI Marketing Mastery online course.

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100% happiness guarantee, free paper examples by words:, last added essay samples, unlocking the legacy: john locke’s enduring contributions to philosophy and political thought.

In the quaint village of Wrington, Somerset, amidst the rolling hills of England, a thinker was born whose ideas would ripple through the currents of time, shaping the very foundations of human thought and governance. John Locke, a name now synonymous with the Enlightenment, emerged as a beacon of reason in an era marked by superstition and absolutism. His journey from the tranquil landscapes of rural England to the bustling intellectual salons of London and beyond is a testament to […]

Zeus: the Mighty King of the Greek Gods

Zeus, the preeminent figure in Hellenic lore, stands as an emblem of unparalleled potency, omnipresent influence, and intricate character. As the sovereign of Mount Olympus and the Hellenic pantheon, Zeus's legacy is expansive and multifaceted, mirroring the intricate web of narratives and convictions that have sculpted the comprehension of deities and champions in Western civilization. One of Zeus's quintessential attributes lies in his supremacy over the firmament and thunder. Often depicted brandishing a thunderbolt, Zeus's dominion over meteorological phenomena epitomizes […]

Understanding the Significance: Tracing the Influence of Judaism’s Followers

In the grand tapestry of human history, few threads have woven themselves as intricately and enduringly as the influence of Judaism's followers. From ancient times to the modern era, the significance of Judaism stretches far beyond the boundaries of a single religion, resonating deeply within cultures, civilizations, and the collective consciousness of humanity. To understand this influence is to embark on a journey through epochs and empires, traversing the realms of faith, philosophy, ethics, and socio-political dynamics. At the heart […]

Understanding the Top Five World Religions

Religion has wielded a substantial impact in molding human civilizations and cultures over the ages. Amid the plethora of belief systems, five prominent religions stand out owing to their extensive followings and profound influence on global cultures and societies. These religions encompass Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, and Judaism. Each of these faiths proffers distinctive perspectives on spirituality, ethics, and the essence of life, and grasping their fundamental principles can furnish invaluable insights into the varied ways individuals worldwide endeavor to […]

Warriors of the Crossroads: the Mosaic of Crusader Participants

The Crusades, a saga of fervor, ambition, and geopolitics that unfolded across the medieval era, drew forth a tapestry of warriors, each with their own tales of faith, glory, and conquest. These epic expeditions, set against the backdrop of religious fervency and territorial strife, bore witness to a convergence of cultures, creeds, and aspirations. From the chivalrous knights of Western Europe to the resolute defenders of the Byzantine Empire, the participants in the Crusades were as diverse as the lands […]

Understanding the Roots of 9/11: Tracing the Causes of a Tragic Event

The events of September 11, 2001, commonly referred to as 9/11, stand as a pivotal moment in contemporary history. This catastrophic attack on American soil, orchestrated by the extremist group al-Qaeda, claimed thousands of lives and left an indelible mark on global politics and security. Understanding why 9/11 occurred requires delving into a complex web of historical, political, and ideological factors. At its core, the 9/11 attacks were fueled by a potent blend of ideological extremism, geopolitical grievances, and religious […]

Unveiling the Epoch of Neolithic Innovation

The term "Neolithic" derives its essence from the Greek words "neo," denoting newness, and "lithos," meaning stone. This epoch, spanning approximately from 10,000 to 4,500 BCE, marks a pivotal juncture in human civilization characterized by a monumental shift in subsistence strategies and societal organization. The Neolithic era heralded the dawn of agriculture and sedentary lifestyles, laying the foundation for the development of complex societies and shaping the course of human history. At its core, the Neolithic period epitomizes a radical […]

Vince McMahon: the Man who Transformed Professional Wrestling

Vincent Kennedy McMahon, born on August 24, 1945, in Pinehurst, North Carolina, embodies the realm of professional wrestling. His influence on the domain is unparalleled, having metamorphosed a provincial wrestling enterprise into a global entertainment titan. The saga of Vince McMahon is one characterized by ambition, innovation, and an unyielding determination to redefine the parameters of sports entertainment. During his formative years, McMahon's relationship with his progenitor, Vincent J. McMahon, deeply enmeshed in the wrestling domain, was initially distant. Vince […]

Volleyball: a Dynamic Evolution from Inception to Modernity

Volleyball, an activity captivating multitudes globally, possesses a rich narrative marked by ingenuity, adaptation, and worldwide expansion. Originating in a Massachusetts gymnasium, its evolution from a nascent pastime to a ubiquitous recreational and competitive pursuit speaks to its enduring allure and adaptability. The genesis of volleyball traces back to 1895, when William G. Morgan, a physical education director at the YMCA in Holyoke, Massachusetts, endeavored to craft a novel pastime amalgamating facets of basketball, baseball, tennis, and handball. His aim […]

Understanding the Role and Function of Somatic Motor Neurons

The somatic motor neuron emerges as a captivating and indispensable constituent of the human nervous system, playing a pivotal role in our locomotion and interaction with the surroundings. These specialized nerve cells undertake the transmission of signals from the central nervous system (CNS) to skeletal muscles, thereby facilitating voluntary movement. To truly grasp the significance of somatic motor neurons, it's imperative to delve into their function, structure, and the ramifications of their malfunction on human health. Somatic motor neurons serve […]

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How to Write a Good Hook for Essays, with Examples

good hook for essays

According to recent research, human attention spans have been gradually falling over the years, and today, most readers take less than 8 seconds to decide whether an article is of interest to them or not. 1 That is why the first few lines of an essay must be compelling enough to ‘hook’ the intended audience.   

Good hooks for essays can quickly capture the reader’s attention, spark curiosity, and push audiences to read further. Hooks also help in setting the overall tone of the essay and provide context for the author’s study. This is particularly important in academic and scientific writing, where the depth of information shared, and the complexity of arguments could sometimes deter or even confuse general audiences.  

Table of Contents

  • Tips for crafting impactful essay hooks   
  • Types of essay hooks for academic writing  

Most early career researchers, and sometimes even experienced academicians, find themselves struggling to craft an impactful hook for their essays. This article offers expert advice on creating good hooks for essays without resorting to sensationalism or straying from the essay theme.  

Tips for crafting impactful essay hooks

Follow these expert tips as you set out to write your essay and hook your readers from the start!   

  • Assess audiences : It is essential to know who you will be addressing through your essay. Ensuring that your hook is concise, well-structured, and meets your reader’s levels of expertise goes a long way in attracting and retaining their attention.   
  • Create context: Ensure that the hook is relevant to the topic of the essay. It must offer a glimpse of what the essay will discuss and should ideally create a seamless transition into the main body of the manuscript.   
  • Ensure clarity: Using impressive, jargon-heavy sentences could overwhelm readers, while overly simplified hooks could undermine your credibility with experts. Instead, use language that is simple and easy to understand.  
  • Spark curiosity: Starting your essay with an interesting fact or statement related to your topic can leave readers wanting to know more.   
  • Use vivid imagery: Paint a mental picture that will engage readers. For example, “Imagine a world where fossil fuels run out. Let us examine the potential consequences of such a scenario and the impact it would have on the way we live and work.” This statement creates concern and may push readers to read up on solutions to this genuine scenario.  

Types of essay hooks for academic writing

Different types of essay hooks can be used to engage readers. Choosing which type to use depends on the type of essay being written, its purpose, writing style and tone. Read on to learn more about the different kinds of essay hooks that are usually employed in academic writing.  

  • Anecdotal Hook : Using anecdotes to illustrate a point can prove to be a good hook for essays. Given that readers are usually interested in life experiences , using anecdotes can be a great way to create a powerful bond between researchers and their audiences.  
  • Declaration Hook: An impactful statement can immediately grab the attention of readers. For example, “The revelation of the Gut-Brain Connection , a bi-directional communication system between our gut and brain, has profound implications on mental wellbeing.” 2 This is a good hook for essays because readers will want to see how you support your statement with scientific facts.  
  • Question Hook : The secret to writing a compelling question hook is to pose a thought-provoking query related to your topic, one that will pique your reader’s curiosity. If it is a question that your audiences are likely to feel strongly about, it will make them want to learn more. For example, “Just how much screen time is too much for children under the age of 5?” This question may make readers think deeply about an issue that they are concerned about.  
  • Statistical Hook : Take this statement as an example, “If past trends continue to WHO’s 100th anniversary, by 2048, about 86% of global deaths will be attributed to non-communicable diseases.” 3 Referencing an established authority or expert or sharing an interesting new statistic right at the beginning of your essay can help capture the reader’s attention quickly.  
  • Quotation Hook : A meaningful quote from a well-known author or source that captures the essence of your study can help define its context. This adds credibility to your writing and provides an exciting perspective for readers to consider. For example, “George Orwell wrote in ‘1984’, ‘Big Brother is Watching You.’ Today, given the advancement of technology, this is more fact than fiction.”  
  • Definition Hook : An effective way to start an essay would be to introduce your study by giving a brief definition of the topic. This would not only help readers to understand the focus of your work, but it also establishes your expertise on the subject. As an example, “Climate change, often defined as the long-term alteration of temperature and weather patterns in a specific region or globally, has emerged as one of the most pressing challenges facing humanity in the 21st century.”  
  • Historical Hook : Providing readers with some historical perspective on the topic of your study is a good hook for essays and helps you set the stage for your analysis. For example, “The introduction of zero into the decimal system in the 13 century is perhaps the most significant achievement in the development of a numerical system, in which calculation with large numbers became feasible.”  
  • Metaphors and Similes Hook : An essay that starts with an allegory can be a good hook. For example, “Like a key that unlocks a door, knowledge on the God Particle will give us access to new worlds of knowledge and understanding.”  

Once you have a draft of your hook, revise and refine it until it is as impactful and engaging as possible. Also, do remember to strike the right balance between being sensational and staying true to the overall tone and purpose of your study. By following these tips, you can master the art of crafting a good hook for essays. 

References : 

  • https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/disrupting-disrupted-marketing-era-8-second-attention-jovel-cipriano/  
  • https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/gut-brain-connection-how-gut-health-affects-your-mental-well-being-0gijf/  
  • https://cdn.who.int/media/docs/default-source/gho-documents/world-health-statistic-reports/2023/world-health-statistics-2023_20230519_.pdf  

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Related Reads:

  • How to Write an Essay Introduction (with Examples)   
  • How to Use AI to Enhance Your College Essays and Thesis

Powerful Academic Phrases to Improve Your Essay Writing 

  • 4 Types of Transition Words for Research Papers 

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Home — Essay Samples — Literature — Hamlet — The Link Between Hamlet and Renaissance Ideals

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The Link Between Hamlet and Renaissance Ideals

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Published: Jun 14, 2024

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Hamlet's speech and renaissance humanism, the implications of hamlet's speech, the broader implications of hamlet's speech, bibliography.

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40 Philosophy of Education Examples, Plus How To Write Your Own

Learn how to define and share your teaching philosophy.

Short Philosophy of Education Examples Feature

These days, it’s become common for educators to be asked what their personal teaching philosophy is. Whether it’s for a job interview, a college class, or to share with your principal, crafting a philosophy of education can seem like a daunting task. So set aside some time to consider your own teaching philosophy (we’ll walk you through it), and be sure to look at philosophy of education examples from others (we’ve got those too!).

What is a philosophy of education?

Before we dive into the examples, it’s important to understand the purpose of a philosophy of education. This statement will provide an explanation of your teaching values and beliefs. Your teaching philosophy is ultimately a combination of the methods you studied in college and any professional experiences you’ve learned from since. It incorporates your own experiences (negative or positive) in education.

Many teachers have two versions of their teaching philosophy: a long form (a page or so of text) and a short form. The longer form is useful for job application cover letters or to include as part of your teacher portfolio. The short form distills the longer philosophy into a couple of succinct sentences that you can use to answer teacher job interview questions or even share with parents.

What’s the best teaching philosophy?

Here’s one key thing to remember: There’s no one right answer to “What’s your teaching philosophy?” Every teacher’s will be a little bit different, depending on their own teaching style, experiences, and expectations. And many teachers find that their philosophies change over time, as they learn and grow in their careers.

When someone asks for your philosophy of education, what they really want to know is that you’ve given thought to how you prepare lessons and interact with students in and out of the classroom. They’re interested in finding out what you expect from your students and from yourself, and how you’ll apply those expectations. And they want to hear examples of how you put your teaching philosophy into action.

What’s included in strong teaching philosophy examples?

Depending on who you ask, a philosophy of education statement can include a variety of values, beliefs, and information. As you build your own teaching philosophy statement, consider these aspects, and write down your answers to the questions.

Purpose of Education (Core Beliefs)

What do you believe is the purpose of teaching and learning? Why does education matter to today’s children? How will time spent in your classroom help prepare them for the future?

Use your answers to draft the opening statement of your philosophy of education, like these:

  • Education isn’t just about what students learn, but about learning how to learn.
  • A good education prepares students to be productive and empathetic members of society.
  • Teachers help students embrace new information and new ways of seeing the world around them.
  • A strong education with a focus on fundamentals ensures students can take on any challenges that come their way.
  • I believe education is key to empowering today’s youth, so they’ll feel confident in their future careers, relationships, and duties as members of their community.
  • Well-educated students are open-minded, welcoming the opinions of others and knowing how to evaluate information critically and carefully.

Teaching Style and Practices

Do you believe in student-led learning, or do you like to use the Socratic method instead? Is your classroom a place for quiet concentration or sociable collaboration? Do you focus on play-based learning, hands-on practice, debate and discussion, problem-solving, or project-based learning? All teachers use a mix of teaching practices and styles, of course, but there are some you’re likely more comfortable with than others. Possible examples:

  • I frequently use project-based learning in my classrooms because I believe it helps make learning more relevant to my students. When students work together to address real-world problems, they use their [subject] knowledge and skills and develop communication and critical thinking abilities too.
  • Play-based learning is a big part of my teaching philosophy. Kids who learn through play have more authentic experiences, exploring and discovering the world naturally in ways that make the process more engaging and likely to make a lasting impact.
  • In my classroom, technology is key. I believe in teaching students how to use today’s technology in responsible ways, embracing new possibilities and using technology as a tool, not a crutch.
  • While I believe in trying new teaching methods, I also find that traditional learning activities can still be effective. My teaching is mainly a mix of lecture, Socratic seminar, and small-group discussions.
  • I’m a big believer in formative assessment , taking every opportunity to measure my students’ understanding and progress. I use tools like exit tickets and Kahoot! quizzes, and watch my students closely to see if they’re engaged and on track.
  • Group work and discussions play a major role in my instructional style. Students who learn to work cooperatively at a young age are better equipped to succeed in school, in their future careers, and in their communities.

Students and Learning Styles

Why is it important to recognize all learning styles? How do you accommodate different learning styles in your classroom? What are your beliefs on diversity, equity, and inclusion? How do you ensure every student in your classroom receives the same opportunities to learn? How do you expect students to behave, and how do you measure success?

Sample teaching philosophy statements about students might sound like this:

  • Every student has their own unique talents, skills, challenges, and background. By getting to know my students as individuals, I can help them find the learning styles that work best for them, now and throughout their education.
  • I find that motivated students learn best. They’re more engaged in the classroom and more diligent when working alone. I work to motivate students by making learning relevant, meaningful, and enjoyable.
  • We must give every student equal opportunities to learn and grow. Not all students have the same support outside the classroom. So as a teacher, I try to help bridge gaps when I see them and give struggling students a chance to succeed academically.
  • I believe every student has their own story and deserves a chance to create and share it. I encourage my students to approach learning as individuals, and I know I’m succeeding when they show a real interest in showing up and learning more every day.
  • In my classroom, students take responsibility for their own success. I help them craft their own learning goals, then encourage them to evaluate their progress honestly and ask for help when they need it.
  • To me, the best classrooms are those that are the most diverse. Students learn to recognize and respect each other’s differences, celebrating what each brings to the community. They also have the opportunity to find common ground, sometimes in ways that surprise them.

How do I write my philosophy of education?

Think back to any essay you’ve ever written and follow a similar format. Write in the present tense; your philosophy isn’t aspirational, it’s something you already live and follow. This is true even if you’re applying for your first teaching job. Your philosophy is informed by your student teaching, internships, and other teaching experiences.

Lead with your core beliefs about teaching and learning. These beliefs should be reflected throughout the rest of your teaching philosophy statement.

Then, explain your teaching style and practices, being sure to include concrete examples of how you put those practices into action. Transition into your beliefs about students and learning styles, with more examples. Explain why you believe in these teaching and learning styles, and how you’ve seen them work in your experiences.

A long-form philosophy of education statement usually takes a few paragraphs (not generally more than a page or two). From that long-form philosophy, highlight a few key statements and phrases and use them to sum up your teaching philosophy in a couple of well-crafted sentences for your short-form teaching philosophy.

Still feeling overwhelmed? Try answering these three key questions:

  • Why do you teach?
  • What are your favorite, tried-and-true methods for teaching and learning?
  • How do you help students of all abilities and backgrounds learn?

If you can answer those three questions, you can write your teaching philosophy!

Short Philosophy of Education Examples

We asked real educators in the We Are Teachers HELPLINE group on Facebook to share their teaching philosophy examples in a few sentences . Here’s what they had to say:

I am always trying to turn my students into self-sufficient learners who use their resources to figure it out instead of resorting to just asking someone for the answers. —Amy J.

I am always trying to turn my students into self-sufficient learners who use their resources to figure it out instead of resorting to just asking someone for the answers. —Amy J.

My philosophy is that all students can learn. Good educators meet all students’ differentiated learning needs to help all students meet their maximum learning potential. —Lisa B.

I believe that all students are unique and need a teacher that caters to their individual needs in a safe and stimulating environment. I want to create a classroom where students can flourish and explore to reach their full potential. My goal is also to create a warm, loving environment, so students feel safe to take risks and express themselves. —Valerie T.

In my classroom, I like to focus on the student-teacher relationships/one-on-one interactions. Flexibility is a must, and I’ve learned that you do the best you can with the students you have for however long you have them in your class. —Elizabeth Y

I want to prepare my students to be able to get along without me and take ownership of their learning. I have implemented a growth mindset. —Kirk H.

My teaching philosophy is centered around seeing the whole student and allowing the student to use their whole self to direct their own learning. As a secondary teacher, I also believe strongly in exposing all students to the same core content of my subject so that they have equal opportunities for careers and other experiences dependent upon that content in the future. —Jacky B.

My teaching philosophy is centered around seeing the whole student and allowing the student to use their whole self to direct their own learning. As a secondary teacher, I also believe strongly in exposing all students to the same core content of my subject so that they have equal opportunities for careers and other experiences dependent upon that content in the future. —Jacky B.

All children learn best when learning is hands-on. This works for the high students and the low students too, even the ones in between. I teach by creating experiences, not giving information. —Jessica R.

As teachers, it’s our job to foster creativity. In order to do that, it’s important for me to embrace the mistakes of my students, create a learning environment that allows them to feel comfortable enough to take chances, and try new methods. —Chelsie L.

I believe that every child can learn and deserves the best, well-trained teacher possible who has high expectations for them. I differentiate all my lessons and include all learning modalities. —Amy S.

All students can learn and want to learn. It is my job to meet them where they are and move them forward. —Holli A.

I believe learning comes from making sense of chaos. My job is to design work that will allow students to process, explore, and discuss concepts to own the learning. I need to be part of the process to guide and challenge perceptions. —Shelly G.

I believe learning comes from making sense of chaos. My job is to design work that will allow students to process, explore, and discuss concepts to own the learning. I need to be part of the process to guide and challenge perceptions. —Shelly G.

I want my students to know that they are valued members of our classroom community, and I want to teach each of them what they need to continue to grow in my classroom. —Doreen G.

Teach to every child’s passion and encourage a joy for and love of education and school. —Iris B.

I believe in creating a classroom culture of learning through mistakes and overcoming obstacles through teamwork. —Jenn B.

It’s our job to introduce our kids to many, many different things and help them find what they excel in and what they don’t. Then nurture their excellence and help them figure out how to compensate for their problem areas. That way, they will become happy, successful adults. —Haley T.

Longer Philosophy of Education Examples

Looking for longer teaching philosophy examples? Check out these selections from experienced teachers of all ages and grades.

  • Learning To Wear the Big Shoes: One Step at a Time
  • Nellie Edge: My Kindergarten Teaching Philosophy
  • Faculty Focus: My Philosophy of Teaching
  • Robinson Elementary School: My Teaching Philosophy
  • David Orace Kelly: Philosophy of Education
  • Explorations in Higher Education: My Teaching Philosophy Statement
  • University of Washington Medical School Faculty Teaching Philosophy Statements

Do you have any philosophy of education examples? Share them in the We Are Teachers HELPLINE Group on Facebook!

Want more articles and tips like this be sure to subscribe to our newsletters to find out when they’re posted..

Many educators are being asked to define their teaching philosophy. Find real philosophy of education examples and tips for building yours.

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  • You will have 8 questions to choose from. You must respond to only 4 of the 8 questions.
  • Each response is limited to a maximum of 350 words.
  • Which questions you choose to answer is entirely up to you. However, you should select questions that are most relevant to your experience and that best reflect your individual circumstances.

Keep in mind

  • All questions are equal. All are given equal consideration in the application review process, which means there is no advantage or disadvantage to choosing certain questions over others.
  • There is no right or wrong way to answer these questions. It’s about getting to know your personality, background, interests and achievements in your own unique voice.  
  • Use the additional comments field if there are issues you'd like to address that you didn't have the opportunity to discuss elsewhere on the application. This shouldn't be an essay, but rather a place to note unusual circumstances or anything that might be unclear in other parts of the application. You may use the additional comments field to note extraordinary circumstances related to COVID-19, if necessary. 

Questions & guidance

Remember, the personal insight questions are just that—personal. Which means you should use our guidance for each question just as a suggestion in case you need help. The important thing is expressing who you are, what matters to you and what you want to share with UC. 

1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time. Things to consider: A leadership role can mean more than just a title. It can mean being a mentor to others, acting as the person in charge of a specific task, or taking the lead role in organizing an event or project. Think about what you accomplished and what you learned from the experience. What were your responsibilities?

Did you lead a team? How did your experience change your perspective on leading others? Did you help to resolve an important dispute at your school, church, in your community or an organization? And your leadership role doesn't necessarily have to be limited to school activities. For example, do you help out or take care of your family? 2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side. Things to consider: What does creativity mean to you? Do you have a creative skill that is important to you? What have you been able to do with that skill? If you used creativity to solve a problem, what was your solution? What are the steps you took to solve the problem?

How does your creativity influence your decisions inside or outside the classroom? Does your creativity relate to your major or a future career? 3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? Things to consider: If there is a talent or skill that you're proud of, this is the time to share it.You don't necessarily have to be recognized or have received awards for your talent (although if you did and you want to talk about it, feel free to do so). Why is this talent or skill meaningful to you?

Does the talent come naturally or have you worked hard to develop this skill or talent? Does your talent or skill allow you opportunities in or outside the classroom? If so, what are they and how do they fit into your schedule? 4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced. Things to consider: An educational opportunity can be anything that has added value to your educational experience and better prepared you for college. For example, participation in an honors or academic enrichment program, or enrollment in an academy that's geared toward an occupation or a major, or taking advanced courses that interest you; just to name a few.

If you choose to write about educational barriers you've faced, how did you overcome or strive to overcome them? What personal characteristics or skills did you call on to overcome this challenge? How did overcoming this barrier help shape who you are today? 5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement? Things to consider: A challenge could be personal, or something you have faced in your community or school. Why was the challenge significant to you? This is a good opportunity to talk about any obstacles you've faced and what you've learned from the experience. Did you have support from someone else or did you handle it alone?

If you're currently working your way through a challenge, what are you doing now, and does that affect different aspects of your life? For example, ask yourself, How has my life changed at home, at my school, with my friends or with my family? 6. Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. Things to consider:  Many students have a passion for one specific academic subject area, something that they just can't get enough of. If that applies to you, what have you done to further that interest? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had inside and outside the classroom such as volunteer work, internships, employment, summer programs, participation in student organizations and/or clubs and what you have gained from your involvement.

Has your interest in the subject influenced you in choosing a major and/or future career? Have you been able to pursue coursework at a higher level in this subject (honors, AP, IB, college or university work)? Are you inspired to pursue this subject further at UC, and how might you do that?

7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? Things to consider: Think of community as a term that can encompass a group, team or a place like your high school, hometown or home. You can define community as you see fit, just make sure you talk about your role in that community. Was there a problem that you wanted to fix in your community?

Why were you inspired to act? What did you learn from your effort? How did your actions benefit others, the wider community or both? Did you work alone or with others to initiate change in your community? 8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California? Things to consider:  If there's anything you want us to know about you but didn't find a question or place in the application to tell us, now's your chance. What have you not shared with us that will highlight a skill, talent, challenge or opportunity that you think will help us know you better?

From your point of view, what do you feel makes you an excellent choice for UC? Don't be afraid to brag a little.

Writing tips

Start early..

Give yourself plenty of time for preparation, careful composition and revisions.

Write persuasively.

Making a list of accomplishments, activities, awards or work will lessen the impact of your words. Expand on a topic by using specific, concrete examples to support the points you want to make.

Use “I” statements.

Talk about yourself so that we can get to know your personality, talents, accomplishments and potential for success on a UC campus. Use “I” and “my” statements in your responses.

Proofread and edit.

Although you will not be evaluated on grammar, spelling or sentence structure, you should proofread your work and make sure your writing is clear. Grammatical and spelling errors can be distracting to the reader and get in the way of what you’re trying to communicate.

Solicit feedback.

Your answers should reflect your own ideas and be written by you alone, but others — family, teachers and friends can offer valuable suggestions. Ask advice of whomever you like, but do not plagiarize from sources in print or online and do not use anyone's words, published or unpublished, but your own.

Copy and paste.

Once you are satisfied with your answers, save them in plain text (ASCII) and paste them into the space provided in the application. Proofread once more to make sure no odd characters or line breaks have appeared.

This is one of many pieces of information we consider in reviewing your application. Your responses can only add value to the application. An admission decision will not be based on this section alone.

Need more help?

Download our worksheets:

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IMAGES

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