disadvantages of having a pet essay

Leisure , Lifestyle

The pros and cons of getting a pet.

Getting a pet is no easy decision. Emotional perks are undeniable, yet pets require time, understanding, and training. Particularly if you have kids, it can be difficult to gauge when you are ready for a pet. We all want a cuddly, warm friend to come home too, but responsibilities and costs required to properly take care of your pets are real. Carefully considering the consequences of welcoming a new pet into your home can make all the difference in keeping your pet safe and happy (and keeping you sane). While drawbacks to having a pet may be challenging, if you properly prepare, getting a pet can be a smooth experience. The following pro and cons of having a pet will help you decide if you are ready to rise to the occasion.

1. Increased Personal Safety

One definite positive to having a pet unfortunately only applies to larger, free roaming pets. Mainly in the case of dogs, pets can bring a degree of safety to your life. A barking dog scares away most home invaders, and medium to large sized dogs provide security on late night walks. However, even smaller dogs, cats, and exotics have alerted their owners to approaching dangers like fire or gas leaks. When considering whether or not to get a pet, don’t forget that your new family member could be a crucial element in keeping you safe.

2. Receiving Love 

No matter what kind of pet you get, you are sure to experience increased joy and love. Pets have a way of calming us down, and playing our heartstrings in a way that nothing else can. Pets can do a lot for helping you out of slumps and turning around a bad day.

3. Learning Patience 

Particularly when it comes to younger pet owners, having a pet can teach us valuable lessons. Training your pet can be a lesson in patience, while treating your pet well can help children learn how to be gentle and understanding. 

4. Pets Empathize with You 

Another positive to getting a pet is having a family member who will always empathize with you. Regardless of what pet you get, most larger pets can sense when we are feeling under the weather or have had a bad day. Having something to cuddle with that genuinely cares that you feel better is a huge boost on those less than perfect days.

5. Improved Mental Health

Having a pet is also a powerful way to keep yourself mentally functional. Across the board, pets of all types have proven to improve the health of patients with mental health challenges. From treating those with post traumatic stress disorder, to helping those who struggle with depression, pets are a helpful addition to combat a range of disorders. Not only do these findings bring hope to those with health challenges, it also means that every day anxiety and stress can be greatly decreased by spending time with your pet.

6. Saving an Animal from a Shelter

Finally, another major positive if you’re looking at adopting a shelter pet is the knowledge that you saved a life. Dogs, cats, and other animals in animal shelters are usually tame, and sometimes even trained. By adopting an animal thats been abandoned, you are giving a good home to a living thing, plus making room at overcrowded shelters. Unsurprisingly, pet owners who adopt animals from shelters often speak to the animals undying loyalty and joy at being adopted.

1. Responsibility

One drawback of getting a pet is an immediate increase in responsibility. Just like a young child, pets rely on you for absolutely everything. Not only that, if they have yet to be trained, they won’t understand your anger if they do something wrong. If you are someone with an over scheduled life, or doubt your children’s ability to step up to this responsibility, a small pet like a hamster or mouse might be a better first step.

2. Allergies

Another drawback to pets in the home are allergies. Especially if you don’t know what you’re allergic to, bringing a cat or a dog into your life can bring unexpected hurdles. Keep in mind that allergies grow worse each time you are exposed to an allergen, so spending limited time with animals in the past is not conclusive proof you aren’t allergic. If you’re unsure of your animal allergies, pet sitting for a friend or spending time volunteering for an animal shelter might be something you want to try first.

3. Possible Safety Hazards

Another important consideration when getting a pet is whether or not the animal in question brings more hazards to your life. A pet might be a fine addition for families with young kids, however a large breed of dog for example, will require extra attention and training to make sure it is safe around children. Similarly, aggressive types of snakes or territorial pets may not be the best addition if you have dependents living with you. It is important to consider the needs of everyone in your house before getting a pet.

Unfortunately, another drawback to having pets is a necessary evil. Just like humans, animals need to be healthy and happy. Before you get a pet, consider the average yearly veterinary cost of owning the type of animal you are looking at. Cats and dogs for example, require several different shots throughout their first year of life, as well as preventative shots and treatment throughout their lives. Additionally, outdoor pets are more prone to infections, lacerations and pest infestations that require veterinary care. Even if your animal never has a major accident, every animal will require you to pay for basic veterinary care to have a healthy and fulfilled life.

There’s no getting around it – no matter what kind of animal you get, you will be required to clean up after them. Make sure you have a solid stomach when it comes to removing poop if you want a positive pet experience.

6. Schedule Disorder

Finally, remember that bringing a pet home means you will sometimes be at the mercy of their schedule. Cats for example, are naturally nocturnal, and are likely to find their way on top of you while you try to sleep. Similarly, dogs, birds, and many exotic animals will sometimes feel the need to make as much noise as possible in the middle of the night. Be prepared to take on these challenges when you decide it’s time for a pet, and your transition into pet ownership will be much smoother.

Featured photo credit: raneko via flickr.com

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About the Disadvantages of Having Pets

It's not unusual to become so enamored with the idea of having a pet that the realities of the responsibility are left behind. To be sure, having a dog is an incentive to get some exercise, and there's nothing like coming home to a pet who's happy to see you, especially after a long day. It's important to remember that pets are a lifetime proposition, living beings that rely on you for their survival. Responsible pet ownership requires acknowledging the disadvantages of having a pet and recognizing if you can overcome them or if it's better to wait.

Financial Commitment

Pet ownership is not cheap. When you take on a pet, you are adding another family member and all that entails, including food and medical care. Dogs and cats require vaccinations, spaying and neutering and parasite prevention. The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals estimates the annual financial commitment for a small dog is approximately $420; a medium dog jumps to $620 and a large dog costs about $780, at the time of publication. Expenses for spaying or neutering and basic supplies aren't included. Caring for one cat is estimated to cost approximately $545 a year, exclusive of supplies and spay/neuter surgery. Small animals also incur expenses: rabbits are estimated to cost $675 annually, while a Guinea pig can range between $550 and $800 annually.

Consider that pets can get sick, causing unplanned medical expenses to add more costs to keeping a pet. As pets age, they are prone to developing medical conditions requiring additional vet visits, testing, medications and medical procedures, which can add up to considerable expense.

Time Commitment

Pets take time, even if it's a pet you won't socially engage with, such as a fish. The word " housebroken " doesn't mean the pet cleans up after himself; it means he understands the appropriate place to take care of business. A dog still needs to be walked and cleaned up after; a cat needs her litter box cleaned and changed; and small animals, such as hamsters , require regular housekeeping. In fact, small animals require additional care because their living spaces need regular cleaning and maintenance, such as removing all bedding and washing the cage. Fish tanks require regular water changes and water-quality monitoring to ensure fish live in a safe, healthy environment.

Beyond basic feeding and toileting duties, pets require engagement. Dogs require basic obedience training so they will be well-behaved family members. Pets such as dogs and cats are social creatures, often thriving when they have the companionship of other people and animals. Some breeds of dogs and cats are more independent than others, meaning they cope better with the extended absence of their owners. The American Veterinary Medical Association states that proper exercise and mental stimulation, appropriate to the pet's breed, age and health, are important facets of responsible pet ownership.

Pet ownership is a lifetime commitment, potentially lasting years or decades, depending on the pet. Responsible pet owners have an alternative care plan in place to ensure their pets are cared for in the event of emergencies or significant life changes.

Pet Planning

Having a pet requires thinking ahead. If you leave town, you must have a someone tasked with caring for your pet in your absence. It may be someone who stops in to feed your fish or it may entail boarding your dog at a kennel. If you hope to expand your family with a spouse and children one day, your pet needs to be factored into those plans, as growing families often impact time and flexibility. Pets also have to be factored into emergency plans, such as evacuation routines during hurricane season.

Social Consequences

Most people have neighbors, whether they're on top, on either side, or both. You should consider whether a new pet will impact your neighbors' quality of life. For example, a dog left alone all day may bark and disturb people. Cats and dogs left to wander outside can cause damage to other peoples' gardens and homes, as well as leave messes behind.

Saying Goodbye

For anyone who has known and loved a pet, the greatest disadvantage of pet ownership is saying goodbye. Most people outlive their pets, and watching a treasured family member decline with age and illness is tough. Whether a pet becomes sick and dies or you make the decision to humanely euthanize your pet, a pet's death can be a painful, difficult experience.

• Canidae: What Does Responsible Pet Ownership Really Mean?
• American Veterinary Medical Association: Guidelines for Responsible Pet Ownership
• HealthyPets.com: The 6 Traits of Responsible Pet Owners: Do You Have Them All?

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12. The advantages and disadvantages of having a pet

Please click on the toggles below to navigate through information on this assessment task and reveal the links for downloading task materials.

TEAL Writing Task 12 – unmarked criteria sheet [PDF]

TEAL Writing Task 12 – unmarked criteria sheet [Word]

An explanation of the purpose, nature and use of criteria sheets is available at 4. Using the assessment criteria.

Home language: Vietnamese

Biographical information:

English language centre (secondary)

The purpose and nature of the task

The expressing of opinions and use of argument with supporting reasons or evidence is a prominent text type in public discourse in Australia, as well as in academic study in English and humanities subjects. This task involves formal argumentative discourse and linking of opinions to evidence in relation to a topic students may have experience of or know something about, owning a domestic pet such as a cat or a dog. The task provides teachers with assessment information about their EAL students' skills in expressing opinions and presenting support for a point of view in a piece of formal writing.

The task requires students pay some attention to presenting arguments to both support and contradict a point of view. It also expects students to express an opinion on the topic. There is scope for the students to do this within an essay that either strongly supports a particular opinion and therefore has a partisan quality in relation to the topic, or which has a more detached tone and is more descriptive of the arguments presented on the issue, and less on supporting particular opinions. There is a complex interrelationship between the ways arguments are presented and the ways they are used to support an opinion and downplay alternative opinions. The intention of this task is more to look at EAL students' skills in presenting points of view and supporting arguments, rather than the more sophisticated skills involved in a powerful texts intended to contribute to argument and change opinions.

The range of samples illustrate different levels of skill in presenting reasons to support arguments. They do this within different levels of argument, some present argument within a strong expression of a particular point of view, while others are more detached, providing description of arguments that may be used to support different opinions.

The sample shows an understanding of the task and an ability to write a simple argument on the disadvantages and advantages of having a pet dog.

The text shows that the student is able to express simple opinions with supporting reasons and is able to organise them within a given text structure framework. The student uses simple, compound, complex sentences employing clauses of reason.

The student uses timeless present tense to express general statements.

The student is able to use full stops to mark sentences correctly but has variable use of appropriate upper and lower case.

The student is reliant on extensive use of text model/framework to accomplish the task.

The marked criteria sheet shows that the student meets most criteria at level 1 of performance and some at level 2.

The student’s language use in this task is consistent with the descriptions of students at Level C2, Victorian Curriculum F-10 EAL.

Using this assessment for further learning

(Select the points you think are currently of most importance to the student.)

The sample draws attention to the student’s need to develop persuasive language for comparing, contrasting and conceding opposing arguments to a thesis. It also highlights the student’s sensitivity to and ability to learn from modelled texts.

This language can be modelled and developed by having the student complete an elaborated cloze text based on the student’s own sample which targets contrastive argumentation words or phrases such as ‘although’, ‘however’, ‘on the other hand’. This process could then be repeated with reduced degrees of modelled support.

The sample shows an understanding of the task and an ability to write a two-sided argument on the disadvantages and advantages of having a pet dog.

The text shows that the student is able to state and justify a simple thesis and is able to organise arguments within a given text structure framework. The student uses compound and complex sentences employing clauses of reason and condition.

The student is able to use standard spelling and punctuation.

The student employs the stimulus text to accomplish the task.

The sample shows a text that best fits the criteria in .

The marked criteria sheet shows that the student meets most criteria at level 2 of performance and some at level 3.

The sample shows the student’s ability to write a simple cohesive two-sided argument text but highlights their need to develop a wider repertoire of argumentation language and rhetorical/persuasive devices.

This language can be modelled and developed by getting the student to complete an elaborated cloze text based on the student’s own sample which targets a range of persuasive language functions and devices such as addition (‘moreover’), exemplification (‘for instance’), contrast  (‘however’, on the other hand’), and concession (‘although’). This process could then be repeated with reduced degrees of modelled support until students have mastered the language.

Biographical information

The sample shows an understanding of the task and an ability to write a quite elaborate argument and to and justify a single point of view relating to the topic. However it is framed in terms of keeping wild animals as pets, rather than disadvantages and advantages of having a pet dog.

The text shows that the student can sustain a line of argument using a range of persuasive language functions and devices. While there are features of persuasive writing present in the text, the text itself is a single paragraph, which has an introductory sentence that is not completely satisfactory as a topic sentence.

The student uses compound and complex sentences and timeless present tense to express opinions. However, there are also some problems of sentence construction, and errors of subject-verb agreement.

The student uses standard spelling and variable punctuation.

The marked criteria sheet shows that the student meets some criteria at level 3 of performance, while some are also at level 2 and even level 1.

The sample shows the student’s ability to elaborate and justify a single point of view, employing a wide repertoire of argumentation language and rhetorical/persuasive devices. The sample also highlights their need to develop skills in organising the text into coherent paragraph units and an ability to consider two sides of an argument.

These skills can be developed by having the student complete text deconstruction and reconstruction exercises around persuasive texts which involve identifying paragraph units within a single run-on text, and sequencing and labelling paragraph texts to make a single coherent text. At the same time, these texts could also model two-sided argumentation.

While the sample shows an understanding of the communicative purpose of the task and of persuasive texts, and an ability to sustain and support a balanced two-sided discussion of an issue, the text has problems of cohesion and structure. The first paragraph, is not labelled, seems to be a set of arguments for keeping domestic animals, but the second paragraph headed 'DISADVANTAGES' presents opposing arguments.

The text shows that the student can sustain arguments using a repertoire of persuasive language functions and devices at sentence level. However, the organisation of the text is not so strong and it lacks cohesion as a sustained presentation of a point of view, despite effective use of a range of sentence-level ways of expressing ideas and giving supporting reasons.

The student uses compound and complex sentences and timeless present tense to communicate arguments.

The student uses standard spelling and punctuation.

The marked criteria sheet shows that the student meets many criteria at level 3 of performance, and some at level 4.

The student’s language use in this task is consistent with the descriptions of students at Level C3, Victorian Curriculum F-10 EAL.

The sample shows the student’s ability to write a balanced two-sided discussion of an issue in response to a stimulus text. The competence and sophistication of the student’s writing at sentence levels suggest that the student’s needs lie in the area of consolidating and extending skills in structuring a persuasive texts.

These skills could be developed by asking the student to clearly identify the argument they want to present and re-write it using the following structure:

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Family pets: Pros and cons for kids

Pets can be an important part of a family and have a big impact on a child. The decision to have or not have a pet can involve a lot of factors including timing, the kind of pet, and who will take responsibility for it. The C.S. Mott Children's Hospital National Poll on Children's Health asked a national sample of parents of children ages 5-18 about reasons to have or not have a family pet.

Two-thirds of parents (69%) report their family currently has a pet, and 16% say they had one in the past. The most common pets are dogs (76%), cats (41%), fish, birds, and reptiles (24%), and small mammals such as rabbits or guinea pigs (9%).

Many factors go into deciding whether or not to have a family pet. Parents with pets endorse a number of reasons for children having a pet. The top reason rated as very important for children to have a pet is for fun and companionship (63%). Other reasons include that a pet would teach their child responsibility (57%), and parents themselves having a pet growing up and enjoying it (39%). Three in ten parents (30%) say it is very important to have a pet to provide protection for the family, and that their child wants a pet (31%).

In families that do not have pets, parents' top reasons rated as very important not to have a pet include: hassle of owning a pet (62%), family member with pet allergies (55%), cost of owning a pet (48%), that their child would not be responsible (43%), and having a pet would not be safe for their child (39%).

Parents indicate that responsibility for the care of a family pet can increase as a child gets older. The most common age at which parents say it is appropriate for a child to assume responsibility is 8 years for feeding the pet, 9 years for washing/brushing or cleaning up after the pet, and 10 years for walking or exercising the pet. Among parents with a family pet, 56% say their child always takes care of pet responsibilities, while 40% said their child sometimes is responsible.

About 1 in 6 parents (18%) say they would allow their child to receive a pet as a gift; 42% say no and 40% say they might allow it. Fifteen percent of parents have given their child a pet as a gift.

• Parents' top reasons for having a family pet are fun/companionship and teaching children responsibility.
• Parents' top reasons against having a family pet are hassle, allergies, and cost.
• Only 1 in 6 parents would allow their child to receive a pet as a gift.

Implications

Most families at some point go through the process of deciding whether or not to get a pet. This Mott Poll found that there are a lot of issues parents find important in evaluating if and when a pet is right for their child.

Parents endorsed many potential advantages to their child in having a pet. Among these are the benefits of teaching their child a sense of responsibility. Caring for a pet can help kids learn the importance of being dependable in taking care of another living being. Pets can teach children valuable life lessons like reliability, trust, compassion, respect and patience.

However, the decision to have a pet needs to be weighed carefully. When thinking of which pet to add, parents should pick one that fits the lifestyle of the family. A fish or turtle will require less playtime than a cat or dog. If the family travels a lot, an animal that can be left at home with minimal care would be a good choice. Families that want to include a pet in active play or long walks might find a dog to be a perfect fit. If a family member has allergies, parents should choose pets that have minimal hair or dander.

Before getting a family pet, parents will want to consider the extent to which they expect children to have responsibility for the pet's care. An especially important consideration is what happens when the "newness" wears off or a puppy/kitten gets older. Some children may lose interest and not want to care for the pet over time.

Before bringing home a new pet, parents should discuss with their child the specifics of what their responsibilities will be. Pets require food, grooming, and exercise; the pet's cage, pen or other environment requires regular cleaning and upkeep. No matter how committed their child may seem at the time of getting a pet, parents will have to consider themselves to be the backup plan if their child cannot or does not continue to care for the pet over time.

It is also important for parents to have realistic expectations regarding how much children at different ages can reasonably be expected to contribute to the care of a pet. Most experts believe that children over 5 years old can begin to take on developmentally appropriate responsibilities with regard to the care of a pet, with parental supervision. Children under the age of 10 should not be expected to take care of a pet complete on their own.

Safety was mentioned by parents in this Mott Poll as both a reason for and against having a family pet. On one hand, dogs may deter intruders by barking, and often can be trained to be protective of children in the family. However, some dogs can be aggressive with little warning, resulting in injuries and even death to children. Parents who are considering a dog as a family pet may want to consult with a veterinarian or other expert to find out which breeds are appropriate for children. For the safety of both the child and the pet, children under the age of 4 should be supervised with pets at all times.

Only 1 in 6 parents in this Mott Poll would allow their child to receive a pet as a gift. There is a long tradition of giving pets as gifts for special occasions, but animal shelters are filled with "former pets" where a child either lost interest or did not have the ability to care for it responsibly. Individuals contemplating giving a pet as a gift to a child should be sure to talk with parents first, to make sure the parents agree that the child is ready for the responsibility of having a pet, and that the parent is willing to help. Parents may want to steer the gift-giver toward a pet whose cost and burden of care fits with the family's lifestyle. Surprising a child with the gift of a pet is unfair to the animal, the child, and the parents.

Data Source & Methods

This report presents findings from a nationally representative household survey conducted exclusively by Ipsos Public Affairs, LLC (Ipsos) for C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital. The survey was administered in August 2019 to a randomly selected, stratified group of adults who were parents of at least one child age 0-18 years living in their household (n=2,004). Adults were selected from Ipsos’s web-enabled KnowledgePanel® that closely resembles the U.S. population. The sample was subsequently weighted to reflect population figures from the Census Bureau. The survey completion rate was 60% among panel members contacted to participate. This report is based on responses from 1,712 parents who had at least one child age 5-18 years. The margin of error for results presented in this report is ±2 to 6 percentage points.

Findings from the C.S. Mott Children's Hospital National Poll on Children's Health do not represent the opinions of the University of Michigan. The University of Michigan reserves all rights over this material.

Freed GL, Singer DC, Schultz SL, Gebremariam A, Clark SJ. Family pets: Pros and cons for kids. C.S. Mott Children's Hospital National Poll on Children's Health, University of Michigan. Vol 35, Issue 3, December 2019. Available at:  https://mottpoll.org/reports/family-pets-pros-and-cons-kids .

Advantages and Disadvantages of Having Pets At Home

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Advantages And Disadvantages Of Having A Pet

Pros And Cons Of Owning A Pet

Health benefits of pet-human interaction, how pets improve our lives, pets and older adults, why people avoid pets keeping pets is wrong, pet ownership and its own challenges, dog pregnancy calculator and timeline.

A team of experts at a University in Australia is working hard to understand whether owning childhood pets enhances the happiness and health of people well into adulthood.

The relation between enhanced physical and mental wellbeing and pets has been analyzed in previous research.

A report clarified that pets do provide some sort of mental health benefits through intense and strict emotional connection.

Owning a pet reduces the chance of social isolation, self-worrying tendency, lack of purpose, and a lack of identity.

The physical endurance also improves to a great extent because they would encourage owners to work more time outdoors.

Canine owners are more regular to exercise, regardless of the weather outside.

The health merits of owning a pet are wonderful, one study found that the country’s national savings as a consequence of owning a pet touched $11.7 billion USD in healthcare costs.

The pet parents were at least 0.6 times more likely to meet a doctor than non-pet owners.

Researchers claim that animals are, in fact, effective companions and playmates to children that offer a sense of purpose.

The empathy we show on pets can also improve our empathy.

In Australia, the percentage of households owning a pet has touched 62 percent. The main purpose of studying the relationship between a pet and a child is that comprehensive governmental health policy.

In the future, “walkable” communities would allow pet-owners to move socially more and more with pet owners and forge strong bonds.

The benefits of interacting with a pet include –

• Lowers level of cortisol
• Reduces blood pressure
• Improve social interaction
• Boost your mood
• Enhance feelings of support
• Serve as the main source of support and comfort
• Kids who handled real animals showed improved social skills
• Experts agree that animals offer unconditional acceptance

Pets also offer new responsibilities. Learning how to feed and handle a pet is also part of having of pet. Health experts and scientists will further love to explore the amazing health effects of owning a pet.

Many aged Americans own pets and consider them their part of the family. Pets offer moral support and companionship and have a life-changing impact on a person’s well-being and health.

In a survey conducted in 2018, an agency asked adults in the age group of 50 to 80 about their pets. The survey also focused on challenges, benefits, and reasons for not having or having pets.

Pet owners, according to reports, claimed that their dogs or cats help them love life(85%+), make them understand life(84%), reduce anxiety(75%), provide a new purpose(73%), and help them manage a daily routine(60%).

Surveyed people also said that their pets make them connect with others (60%), help them stay fit(60%), give them the much-needed strength (60%), and help them to manage pain(30%).

Among people who suffered from physical and poor health, more than 70% claim pets help them deal with emotional or physical symptoms.

Around 45% of those having poor or bad health claimed that their dogs or cats help them manage pain better.

Almost more than 50% of older adults owned a pet. Among these pet owners, the survey provided the percentage of animals owned by them.

Around 16% owned small animals including hamster, fish, or bird. In the report, it was established that 48% owned cats. The majority of them in the survey(68%) owned dogs.

While 20% of respondents cared for their own pet, the remaining vast majority of 80% hired others for help.

Interestingly, more than 50% of pet owners informed that their pets love sleeping in their bed.

More than 50% of people surveyed cited relationship issues as their number one reason for not owning a pet.

Around one in five claimed that the major factor was that these pets always needed a home.

Some of the popular reasons for not owning a pet include –

• No interest or lack of interest in pets – 19%
• Fear of allergies – 16%
• Not having enough time to handle the pets – 20%
• To avoid a sense of restriction – 40%
• Cost of managing a pet – 22%

Some pet owners reported challenges while most of them reported positive experiences.

Around 50% of pet owners reported that pets actually make it hard to enjoy some free time away from home. At least 18% indicated that cost is a major cause of concern.

15% claimed that they find it hard to concentrate on their health and around 6% claimed that their pets caused them injuries.

The Results

These study results prove that pets often offer a range of benefits for senior adults, including boosting their physical and emotional health.

The majority of pet lovers claim that their pets help them connect to other people, reduce stress or anxiety, offer companionship, and help deal with pain and emotional problems.

Pets help them have a clear purpose in their life and feel loved.

While many respondents claimed that their pets contribute and help them gain good health, but 15% of pet owners in poor health state their pet’s health take priority.

The Bottomline

Pets are definitely not for all. Not everyone can afford a pet, and the cost of owning a pet is also a determining factor.

For senior citizens who love the companionship of pets but find it hard to own one, visiting a local animal shelter is the best option.

Talk to your local vet and they can give you the right solution.

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What Should Happen When You No Longer Want a Pet After You Have Kids?

I have actually solved this problem already..

It’s a maxim anyone planning to become a parent will hear at one point or another: Don’t get a pet if you’re going to have a baby. It probably won’t go well for the pet.

Plenty of people with young children do just fine with their pets, of course. But plenty also do not. Monday brought a new installment in the well-worn internet genre of essays describing this fairly common phenomenon, this time in the Cut with the headline “ Why Did I Stop Loving My Cat When I Had a Baby ?” The piece, published under an anonymous byline (cowards!), describes a woman whose longtime cat takes a back seat when she has a baby. Slate published our own version of this story to an intensely angry reader response more than a decade ago, advising, “If you’re having a baby, do not get a puppy,” under the byline of former Slate editor Allison Benedikt (brave!).

While it’s sure to generate outrage, the Cut essay is pretty straightforwardly correct in its description and assessment of the challenges of having a pet and a baby in the house at the same time. Internet cat people—already suffering body blows in recent weeks from the Republican presidential ticket—are sure to be furious with “Anonymous.” What the Cut essay and others of its ilk consistently miss, though, is the real villain of the story: It’s not these authors who are the bad guys, but rather their partners , the person in the relationship who is also adjusting to life as a new parent but not recovering from a pregnancy and childbirth .

Indeed, there should be a pretty direct rule: If there is a person in the partnership who has not recently given birth and does not have to breastfeed a child near constantly, that person should take on the duty of primary care for the pet, whether or not they brought the pet into the relationship.

This is easy for me to say: I don’t know these authors’ lives and struggles, nor do I know anything about their partners and how much they are doing in the house. The Cut essay describes the partner in the relationship only one time, and it’s not flattering.

“When I got married at 30, Lucky took an active and territorial dislike to my husband. It was unpleasant but manageable for everyone,” Anonymous writes. “A few years later, we had a baby, and my postpartum loathing of Lucky made me wonder whether I might be a late-onset psychopath.” Anonymous goes on to describe neglecting all the care of the cat, to the point that Lucky is eating household plants to avoid starvation, drinking out of the toilet to avoid dehydration, and peeing and pooping on the floor to avoid the full litter box. (Cat ladies and men of the internet, get her!)

Again, though, the real villain here to me is pretty clearly not Anonymous but her apparently MIA husband. I speak from a position of authority. You see, when my wife lost much (but by no means all) of her previous interest in our cat Bishop after she gave birth to our first two children in the span of less than two years, I faced this situation myself. In fact, I like to say that I saved Bishop’s life. This is the least the nonbirthing parent should do!

Let me go back in time a little to explain.

A few years ago, when my wife was several months pregnant, Bishop disappeared after someone accidentally left the back door open for a little too long. Bishop was very much a house cat and would not be able to survive out there unless we found him right away. The only other time he had made it out for an extended period was before my wife and I were together. She had looked for him for 24 hours before eventually finding him curled up hiding, perfectly still, in a nearby crawl space under a neighbor’s house. Bishop hates being picked up, so I can’t imagine what fishing him out must have been like.

This time, Bishop had gone up our backyard, which is on a hill, then under a fence and into the neighbor’s yard at dusk. My wife—who, again, was very pregnant—worried frantically about what might happen to him, at one point sobbing. She thought we had lost Bishop.

Because of the hill structure of our property, at 9 p.m. we drove to a different part of the neighborhood to beg a neighbor we had never met before to go shuffling in their backyard to look for our lost cat. My wife did a good job begging! I let her conduct the hillside cat search, despite the pregnancy, and she recovered Bishop. She was elated.

Cut to three years later. We had two children at this point, a 2-year-old and an infant. The 2-year-old loved Bishop, but way too much. She showed her affection by giggling hysterically, shrieking at him at the top of her lungs, and chasing him across every room in the house until he sought respite under our bed. Our daughter then stuck her face under the bed, continuing to cackle and scream.

Bishop responded to this treatment as anyone rightfully might: by pissing every morning on the kitchen floor. In addition to cleaning up the pee every other morning (we split this job), I had to smell the pee every night as I cooked dinner (even the cleaned floors still had an odor).

I was very unhappy. My wife was too, but this time, she was also over Bishop. Let’s give him away , she suggested. She started looking for new homes and even asking people if they might take him.

I was opposed to giving him away. I had never been a pet person; in fact, I always hated the idea of having a pet. I had a soft spot for Bishop, though, who is such a scared, docile, shy, and submissive creature, especially for a cat. He’ll expose his belly to you for scratches and pets if he starts to know and trust you. He’s probably the first cat I’ve ever liked. (I’m not sure I’m a person who’s capable of feeling “love” for a nonhuman.) Despite the torment, he was good with the kids—though he might scratch or bite at us, he never once did so with the children, no matter what they did to him.

I desperately wanted to solve the pee problem. I wanted our daughter to grow up with the cat that she loved so much (even if she didn’t know yet how to show it).

So I did everything I could. In addition to taking up most of the upkeep for Bishop—changing his litter box and feeding him most nights—I attempted a solution to the pee problem. I studiously moved his litter box to the spot on the kitchen floor where he peed every morning and moved it farther and farther back toward its natural spot, a few days at a time, to see if he’d follow it. We tried pushing his face toward the pee-stained floor as punishment. Nothing took.

After months and months of various failed solutions, I figured out the thing we should have done first. Let’s maybe keep the 2-year-old the hell away from the cat? This was not easy, which is why it took us so long to try. Both are free-range creatures, and the second our daughter saw Bishop, she would take off. But I started watching them both like a hawk and picking up the child anytime she made a movement toward the cat. I would hold her until the cat was gone and she was no longer a threat.

Within a week, Bishop was no longer pissing on the floors. We decided to keep him.

Now, again, all this should be a pretty reasonable response for the partner who has not just gone through childbirth. In addition to not having the grueling physical recovery or the burden of breastfeeding, I also didn’t struggle with postpartum depression (which my wife did experience after our son was born). My wife also has an important, high-pressure, high-stress job, which requires much more attention than my own work writing about the law and my personal cat anecdotes.

I should have been the one scooping the litter, opening the can of wet food, and figuring out how to separate the cat from the children! It sounds like Anonymous’ husband didn’t. Booooo , him! I suppose if these essays are going to keep coming, I at least get to feel smug about them now.

Our daughter is old enough now to show proper affection for the cat, even if it sometimes gets out of hand. She’s also taught her 22-month-old brother roughly how to do the same. In short, Bishop is safe from being tortured by pint-sized gremlins.

Bishop has recently started venturing outside a bit more. He loves it and knows how to make his way home every night. My wife has encouraged this. I am a bit more circumspect—in the past year, a neighbor’s outdoor cat was attacked and killed by a coyote, which roam not infrequently in our neck of Los Angeles. “It makes him happy to go outside,” my now more relaxed wife reasons.

It’s true. It does. Still, I’ve started locking Bishop in at night. He might not be thrilled, but he’ll adapt. And our children will have him around for a while more. Thankfully, so will I.

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Advantages and Disadvantages of keeping pets

IELTS essay Advantages and Disadvantages of keeping pets

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Nicholas Kristof

Dogs Are the Best! But They Highlight Our Hypocrisy.

By Nicholas Kristof

Opinion Columnist

Over the past couple of decades, dogs have evolved into humans.

Well, at least that’s how we think of them now. Some 97 percent of U.S. pet owners consider dogs (or other pets) part of their families. A majority of dog owners celebrate canine birthdays, and nearly two-thirds report that they take more photos of their dogs than of family members.

If you’re dating someone with a dog, bring a biscuit: A majority of dog owners say they would consider ending a relationship if the pet disapproved of the partner.

America now has more dogs than children, and households are spending lavishly on pets. Warning that dogs may suffer storm anxiety, one company offers canine noise-canceling headphones for $200. Dog people spend thousands of dollars on oil paintings of Rover, not to mention large sums on dog spas, dog restaurants, dog bakeries and dog fashion.

“When your pooch is wearing clothes from Dog & Co., you know they’re going to be part of the most fashionable pack in town,” one site explains.

Then there are high-end dog foods and sophisticated health services and, if the chemotherapy doesn’t succeed, pet cemeteries. Because people don’t want to be separated from their pets, the Hartsdale Pet Cemetery outside New York City says that it has accommodated more than 800 people who asked to be buried with their pets.

I understand all this. Our last dog, Katie Kuvasz Kristof, was a saint (but not to squirrels), and if Pope Francis is right about dogs going to heaven , Katie is now barking in paradise. There are a few statues of heroic dogs around the world — in Tokyo , in New York City , in Scotland — and in the United States I would love to see more. Perhaps we could replace some statues of Confederate generals with ones of dogs who represented a higher standard of, er, humanity?

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Advantage and disadvantages of having pets at home

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