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27 October 2023

8 minutes read

Crafting a Successful Cambridge Personal Statement: Your Key to Admission

Dirghayu Kaushik

Your dream of studying at the renowned University of Cambridge is within reach, but there’s a critical step you must conquer: crafting a compelling Cambridge personal statement.

In this comprehensive guide, we’ll explore everything you need to know about creating a standout personal statement that will capture the attention of admissions tutors and help you secure a place at this prestigious institution.

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• Understanding the Cambridge Personal Statement

What is a Cambridge Personal Statement?

A Cambridge personal statement is your opportunity to showcase your passion, qualifications, and suitability for the course you’re applying to. It’s a crucial part of the UCAS application process for prospective students seeking admission to the University of Cambridge, often referred to simply as “Cambridge.”

Why is the Cambridge Personal Statement Important?

The Cambridge personal statement plays a pivotal role in your application, allowing you to demonstrate your enthusiasm for your chosen subject and highlight relevant academic and non-academic experiences. It helps admissions tutors assess your ability and potential to thrive at Cambridge.

How Do Admissions Tutors Evaluate Personal Statements?

Admissions tutors are looking for several key elements in your personal statement:

• Passion for your chosen subject
• Evidence of academic achievements and qualifications
• Relevant extracurricular activities and achievements
• A clear alignment between your background, experiences, and the course you’re applying for
• A demonstration of broader skills and interests

In this chapter, we’ll dive deeper into each of these aspects and provide tips on how to effectively address them in your personal statement.

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• Crafting Your Cambridge Personal Statement

Starting Early

Begin working on your personal statement well in advance. Give yourself time to brainstorm, draft, and revise. Starting early ensures you have ample opportunity to perfect your statement.

Theme Each Paragraph

Structure your statement with a clear theme for each paragraph. This approach makes your statement more organized and engaging to read.

Showcasing Your Academic Interests

Highlight your passion for your chosen subject. Discuss how your academic interests have developed over time and any relevant coursework, reading, or research you’ve undertaken.

Discussing Extracurricular Activities

Cambridge values well-rounded individuals. Mention extracurricular activities that showcase your interests, leadership, and personal development.

Tailoring Your Statement

Customize your personal statement for the specific course you’re applying to at Cambridge. Address why you’re passionate about that subject and how it aligns with your future goals.

Admissions tutors appreciate authenticity. Write in your own voice and be honest about your motivations and experiences.

Seeking Feedback

Ask teachers, advisors, or peers to review your statement. Their feedback can help you refine your writing and catch any errors.

Time Management

Effective time management is crucial. Avoid procrastination and allocate sufficient time to each stage of the writing process.

In this chapter, we’ll delve into each of these steps in detail, offering valuable insights and tips to help you create a standout Cambridge personal statement.

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• The Anatomy of a Winning Cambridge Personal Statement

Word Count and Formatting

Your Cambridge personal statement should be approximately 4,000 characters, including spaces. Ensure proper formatting and structure to make your statement easy to read.

Introduction

Your introduction should grab the reader’s attention and provide a brief overview of your interest in the subject.

Academic Achievements

Detail your academic accomplishments, including relevant qualifications, courses, and projects.

Passion for the Subject

Express your enthusiasm for the subject you’re applying for. Share how your interest developed and why you’re eager to study it at Cambridge.

Extracurricular Activities

Highlight your involvement in extracurricular activities, clubs, or organizations that demonstrate your leadership, teamwork, and personal growth.

Relevant Work Experience or Research

Discuss any work experience or research that is pertinent to your chosen field of study.

Alignment with Course and Future Goals

Explain why you believe the course at Cambridge is the perfect fit for your academic and career aspirations.

Summarize your key points and reiterate your passion for the subject and your eagerness to study at Cambridge.

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• Standing Out in Your Cambridge Application

Crafting a Unique Story

Find your unique narrative and experiences to make your personal statement memorable.

Researching Cambridge Colleges

Learn about the various Cambridge colleges and tailor your statement to fit the culture and ethos of your preferred college.

The Cambridge Interview

Prepare for the Cambridge interview, an essential part of the admission process.

Supplementary Application Questionnaire

Understand and complete the supplementary application questionnaire, if required for your course.

In this chapter, we’ll provide in-depth guidance on these aspects to help you make your application truly shine.

Success Stories – Real Cambridge Personal Statements

To truly understand what makes a Cambridge personal statement successful, let’s dive into real-life examples of personal statements that helped candidates secure a coveted place at the University of Cambridge. By examining these success stories, you can gain valuable insights into crafting your own compelling personal statement.

Success Story 1: Sarah’s Journey to Cambridge

Course applied for: natural sciences.

Sarah’s personal statement stood out because of her genuine passion for the subject. Here are some key aspects of her statement:

Passion for the Subject: Sarah began her statement with a captivating anecdote about her childhood fascination with the natural world. She vividly described her experiences exploring nature and how they ignited her curiosity.

Academic Achievements: She provided a concise list of her academic achievements, including top grades in science and mathematics subjects. These achievements supported her claim of being academically prepared for the rigorous Natural Sciences program.

Relevant Extracurricular Activities: Sarah didn’t just mention her love for science; she backed it up with her participation in science clubs, science Olympiads, and even science-related volunteer work. Her extracurricular activities demonstrated her commitment to the subject.

Alignment with the Course: Sarah clearly articulated why she wanted to study Natural Sciences at Cambridge. She discussed specific areas of interest, such as evolutionary biology and astronomy, and explained how her prior experiences had shaped her interests.

Conclusion: In her conclusion, Sarah reiterated her unwavering passion for the subject and her strong desire to study at Cambridge. Her closing statement left a lasting impression on the admissions tutors.

Success Story 2: James’ Unique Perspective

Course applied for: archaeology.

James took a unique approach in his personal statement by sharing his experiences as a participant in archaeological fieldwork. Here’s what made his statement stand out:

Personal Experience: Instead of focusing solely on academic achievements, James delved into his hands-on experience in archaeology. He described the excavations he had participated in and the thrill of discovering ancient artifacts.

Academic Interests: While emphasizing his practical experience, James also connected it to his academic interests. He discussed how his fieldwork experiences had influenced his desire to study archaeology at a higher level.

Reflective Writing: James used reflective writing effectively. He discussed how certain archaeological findings had led to introspection about human history and the importance of preserving our heritage.

Future Goals: James concluded his statement by outlining his future goals, expressing a desire to contribute to archaeological research and preservation efforts.

Unique Perspective: What set James apart was his unique perspective as a participant in archaeological excavations. His statement showcased his enthusiasm and commitment to the field.

Success Story 3: Maria’s Academic Excellence

Course applied for: mathematics.

Maria’s personal statement emphasized her strong academic background and her eagerness to tackle challenging mathematical problems. Here’s what made her statement compelling:

Academic Excellence: Maria began her statement by listing her exceptional achievements in mathematics, including participation in math competitions and high scores in advanced math courses.

Problem-Solving Skills: She showcased her passion for solving complex mathematical problems by describing personal projects and independent research she had undertaken.

Extracurricular Engagement: While her focus was primarily on academics, Maria also briefly mentioned her involvement in math-related clubs and tutoring, demonstrating her dedication to the subject.

Clear Goals: Maria clearly outlined her goals, expressing her desire to pursue a Ph.D. in mathematics and contribute to mathematical research. Her statement conveyed a long-term commitment to the field.

Conclusion: In her conclusion, Maria tied everything together by reiterating her love for mathematics and her determination to excel in the subject. Her unwavering focus on math left a strong impression.

By analyzing these success stories, you can see that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to crafting a Cambridge personal statement. Each candidate showcased their unique strengths, experiences, and passion for their chosen subjects. The common thread among them was the ability to communicate their enthusiasm and suitability for their respective courses effectively.

Beyond Cambridge – Applying to Oxford and Other Universities

While securing admission to the University of Cambridge is a prestigious achievement, it’s essential to explore other options and consider applying to similar elite institutions, such as the University of Oxford, as well as other renowned universities. This chapter will guide you through the nuances of applying to these institutions and help you make informed decisions about your academic future.

1. The University of Oxford

Similarities with Cambridge:

• Like Cambridge, Oxford is a world-renowned institution located in the United Kingdom, known for its academic excellence and rich history.
• The application process at Oxford shares similarities with Cambridge, including the use of UCAS and the requirement for a personal statement.

Key Differences:

• Course structure: Oxford’s course structure may differ from Cambridge, even in similar subjects. Research the course details and requirements for your specific field of study.
• College system: Oxford also has a college system, and your choice of college can impact your academic experience. Research colleges to find the best fit for you.
• Interview process: Oxford conducts interviews as part of its admission process, similar to Cambridge. Prepare thoroughly for these interviews, as they play a significant role in the selection process.

2. Top International Universities

In addition to Cambridge and Oxford, consider top international universities, particularly if you’re open to studying abroad. Institutions such as Harvard, Stanford, MIT, and others offer world-class education and diverse academic opportunities. Here are some key points to consider:

Admission Requirements:

• Research the specific admission requirements for international universities. These may include standardized tests like the SAT or ACT, language proficiency exams (such as the TOEFL or IELTS), and application essays.
• Understand the application deadlines, as they vary by university and country.

Financial Considerations:

• Investigate scholarships and financial aid options for international students. Many universities offer scholarships based on academic merit or specific talents.

Visa and Immigration:

• Be aware of visa and immigration requirements for studying abroad. Ensure you have the necessary documentation to study in your chosen country.

Cultural Adaptation:

• Prepare for cultural differences and be open to experiencing a new way of life. Embrace diversity and engage in the local community to make the most of your international educational experience.

3. Other Renowned UK Universities

The UK boasts several other prestigious universities, each with its strengths and unique programs. Some well-regarded institutions include Imperial College London, the London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE), and the University of Edinburgh, among others. Here’s how to navigate the application process:

Course Selection:

• Research the courses and programs offered by these universities. Ensure they align with your academic interests and career goals.

Admission Criteria:

• Understand the admission criteria, including academic requirements and any additional assessments or interviews.

Location and Lifestyle:

• Consider the location of the university and the lifestyle it offers. Each city has its unique charm and opportunities.

International Student Support:

• Explore the support services available to international students, including accommodation, visa assistance, and cultural integration programs.

4. Making Your Decision

Applying to multiple universities, including Cambridge, Oxford, and other prestigious institutions, provides you with options and ensures you find the best fit for your academic journey. Here are some tips for making your decision:

Ranking and Reputation: Consider university rankings and reputation in your field of study. However, remember that the best university for you might not always be the highest-ranked one.

Course Content: Review the course content and structure to determine which university offers the curriculum that aligns with your academic interests and career aspirations.

Financial Considerations: Evaluate the cost of tuition, living expenses, and the availability of scholarships or financial aid packages.

Location and Lifestyle: Think about your preferred location, lifestyle, and cultural experiences. Some students thrive in bustling cities, while others prefer quieter towns.

Personal Preferences: Trust your instincts and personal preferences. Where do you feel most comfortable and excited to study?

Crafting a successful Cambridge personal statement is a crucial step towards securing admission to this esteemed university. Use your personal statement to showcase your passion, qualifications, and suitability for your chosen course.

With careful planning and thoughtful writing, you can stand out and make a compelling case for why you belong at Cambridge. Best of luck with your application!

Are there specific guidelines for the Cambridge personal statement?

While there are no strict guidelines, your statement should be around 4,000 characters (including spaces).

How do admissions tutors evaluate personal statements?

Admissions tutors assess your statement for passion, suitability for the course, academic achievements, and evidence of broader skills and interests.

Can I apply to both Cambridge and Oxford?

Yes, you can apply to both universities, but you’ll need to submit separate applications and personal statements.

Can a personal statement make or break my application?

While other factors are considered, a well-crafted personal statement can significantly impact your application’s success.

• Beyond Cambridge - Applying to Oxford and Other Universities

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Table of Contents

• • Understanding the Cambridge Personal Statement
• • Crafting Your Cambridge Personal Statement
• • The Anatomy of a Winning Cambridge Personal Statement
• • Standing Out in Your Cambridge Application
• • Beyond Cambridge - Applying to Oxford and Other Universities
• • Conclusion

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The Best Cambridge Personal Statement Examples

A deep perusal of Cambridge personal statement examples can help you understand how to go about crafting your own finely honed statement. You can also look at college letter of intent samples, diversity essay examples – also called diversity secondary essays – or the Common App essay for inspiration.

Writing college essays is tough. Whether you need help with how to start a college essay or how to structure your college essay, reading essay samples written for Cambridge will help you navigate this intimidating process and submit a personal statement that impresses the admissions committee. Now let’s dive in!

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Article Contents 8 min read

Cambridge personal statement examples, example no.1.

Working as a private tutor has changed my life dramatically. I started out because some of my peers wanted assistance with their studies, but I quickly became frustrated. Tutoring seemed like an easy way to make money. All I had to do was explain some concepts – or so I thought. When I started tutoring, I would read out a lesson or concept, then go over problems with my student until I knew they could handle that particular problem, and I would be back for the next session. However, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something deeper to teaching a subject.

I was working with my friend Eli on math every week. What frustrated me with Eli was that, although he could grasp concepts, he was always in need of help. I realised that I wasn’t helping Eli; I was only teaching him one concept at a time. What I needed to do was teach Eli how to learn. It wasn’t enough to show him answers and equations; I had to teach him how to spark his curiosity. I had to teach him how to think, not what to think. This was the missing element in my instruction. It wasn’t enough that I should help a student grasp a difficult concept, but rather to acquire the tools he would need to grow in his curiosity and approach to studying.

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When next I taught Eli, I changed my methods. Instead of just telling Eli when to use a specific calculus formula, I started bringing in oddly shaped containers and showing him how calculus would be useful in determining their volume. Giving him physical mysteries to solve and showing him the applicability of calculus fired Eli’s imagination and engaged him far more. I was on my way to teaching Eli how to think.

Eli needed fewer sessions after that, which became my measurement of success. Strangely enough, doing my work optimally would put myself out of a job. While there will always be new students to help, the goal of a teacher or tutor should not be to keep working with one student, but to help that student move beyond the teacher and then to seek out the next growing mind to aid.

I felt like I was ready to throw my computer monitor out the window or give up entirely on coding. I was trying to learn how to programme a video game, but I was becoming frustrated with my project. Our deadline was looming, and I felt like I had taken on a bigger project than I could handle.

Fortunately, I learnt the most valuable lesson that day. My friend, Kaylee, noticed my frustration and asked, “Can I help?”. I showed her what was wrong, and she helped me move past my hurdles and smooth out my code. I shared some of my ideas, and we both went away with a better understanding of computer coding. Along with improving my own project and getting over my own frustrating hurdle, I was also able to help Kaylee. Our conversations throughout the day had me suggesting several shortcuts to tighten up her coding language, making it more efficient and precise. While I hadn’t intended to help Kaylee, our collaboration benefited her as well.

The lesson was to stay connected. We live increasingly in a virtual world, from social media to online work-from-home jobs, and it is harder than ever to maintain connections with actual human beings. This led Kaylee and me to found the “Human Programming Club,” which emphasised human interaction, along with collaboration and a team effort. The club grew to include several schools in our area, which improved the programming experience of a lot of computer science students in our city.

Your Computer Science programme emphasises these human and collaborative elements. In second year, students work on a group project “…which reflects current industrial practice.” This emphasis on working together attracted me to your programme and is the reason I am applying. The Cambridge Ring, which emphasises social, career and community, is something I would love to be a part of. This is also because I have long-term goals that I believe will be best served with this type of education.

My plan is to bring the liveliness of the Human Programming Club to our current computing technologies, both in programming environments and through the interactions we have with machines and with apps in our day-to-day lives. I want our interactions with computers to serve relationships and human society, not replace them. Most importantly, I want to bring an inclusiveness and sense of belonging to the world of programming. When we emphasised these aspects of our Human Programming Club, we saw an increase in underrepresented persons among the membership. Making marginalised persons feel more accepted in the world of coding and computer science would be amazing. You also offer positive action programmes for women and LGBTQ+ computer science students, and I find this encouraging and something I would like to support.

I believe your programme is optimal for me to work towards those goals, and I hope to hear from you – and connect – soon.

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Example No.3

The sky seemed smaller when I saw the eagle pass across the sun. I immediately pulled out the nature journal I had with me. These journals have kept track of every scientific discovery I have experienced. I did a quick sketch of the bird – some extras of the wings – and wrote down my observations. I also recorded questions about the bird – mostly diet and habitat – that occurred to me while sketching. My journals, based on Kipling’s “six honest serving men” (What, Why, When, How, Where and Who), guided and augmented my insatiable curiosity. I returned from my US vacation with two full journals of sketches and questions about everything. Fascinated with how a bird’s wing works, it became an obsession at the library for weeks.

These questions gave me purpose in another favourite place of mine: the lab. I couldn’t wait to get home and get into the science labs of my school, which would provide me the opportunity to ask my questions and get answers. My teacher, Mr. Shepherd, books the lab for me after school to allow me to go deeper into research. He has helped me set up experiments in aerodynamics, lift and velocity, which would help me to understand a bird’s wing better.

I also used my shop class time to build different gliders to test. I tried one that really flapped, but it never got off the ground. Still, I learnt why it couldn’t work – the wood was too heavy for the small engines I used. That failure became as informative as a success would have been.

I love all aspects of scientific inquiry, and it is for this reason that I have applied to your Biological Sciences programme, which is both comprehensive and focused. I am particularly interested in your research projects on organisms, evolution and ecology. How do new species arise? How did we get to the species we have now? Birds’ wings didn’t come from nowhere, and I’d love to explore the past, present and future of the evolution of species. I believe your programme will allow me this opportunity.

Cambridge recommends that you follow the UCAS advice on personal statements when writing your own. While acceptance to Cambridge is based solely on academic criteria (ability and potential), your personal statement may be discussed during the interview, so it is an important aspect of your college interview prep .

When writing your personal statement, consider the following 4 points highlighted by Cambridge:

It will also be helpful to keep Cambridge’s core values and mission statement in mind and reflect those ideals in your essay.

Also remember that every essay is, to some extent, a “ why this college” essay . You should always use that as a baseline for how to write a college essay .

Mission Statement

“The mission of the University of Cambridge is to contribute to society through the pursuit of education, learning and research at the highest international levels of excellence."

Core Values

Freedom of thought and expression

Freedom from discrimination

Integrating Values

You don’t need to specifically use the exact wording Cambridge chooses, but your essays should reflect these goals. Here’s what every essay can include:

• Something to show that you think about your community and the global community, to correspond with the stated goal of contributing to society
• A focus on education and research – mentioning your curiosity or pursuit of knowledge
• Expressing yourself and telling your story to fulfil one half of the core values
• Are there any ways you represent diversity? This could be in your personal profile or experiences, but more important will be ways you might have contributed to assisting diversity, progress, or the advancement of underrepresented persons.

All Cambridge personal statements have a 4,000-character cap, which includes spaces, and must be no longer than 47 lines. Some universities might have college essay topics , but Cambridge’s personal statements are not prompt-based.

These three examples should give you a good sense of the structure, tone and content you can consider in your Cambridge personal statement.

If you still need more examples, you can get good insights from different institutions’ requirements, such as the Oxford personal statement . Columbia Medical School secondary essay examples or Brown Medical School secondary essay examples might not seem germane to your Cambridge essays, but they will still provide you with the structure and focus you need. Looking at other essay systems, such as the one that applies to the AMCAS personal statement , might also give you ideas.

Cambridge University personal statements should be no more than 4,000 characters, and this number includes spaces.

No. If you express yourself well, it doesn’t really matter if you have a shorter personal statement. Brevity is a good thing, provided you have fully communicated why you are the perfect candidate for the programme to which you are applying.

Give examples of your connection to the programme you are interested in, and remember the rule of “Show, don’t tell” when communicating this. Traits you want to show include curiosity, passion, and personal growth. You might choose to highlight some of your extracurriculars for college , too.

Anything irrelevant, which has no bearing on your goals or accomplishments, as well as anything negative. You don’t want to cast yourself in a negative light or just be perceived as a negative person. 

Stay very focused on one or two main points. You must show your greatest strengths and connect yourself to the programme. You don’t need to include everything, so just focus on one, driving point.

Start with a good “hook” sentence and use your opening paragraph to set up the rest of the essay. Keep to one theme per paragraph and link everything together with your conclusion for the perfect essay.

They will want to see creativity, curiosity, persistence, a good work ethic, a connection to the material and some sense of goals and aspirations. College admissions consulting , such as a college essay review service , can give you excellent advice on your personal statement. 

Two or three weeks, working daily on your statement, to give you the chance to not only write, but re-write, refine, edit, proofread and find someone to read and critique your paper.

Brainstorming for a few minutes will help. Take two or three minutes and a blank page and write down everything you love about your chosen subject. Free-associate, and you’ll almost definitely have something when your time is up.

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March 22, 2021

The Personal Statement That Got Me a Large Scholarship to Cambridge

When I submitted my application for the Masters program in Latin American Studies at Cambridge University, I was a bit lost in life. I was what they call a “super-senior” at UCLA, taking my last three General Education requirements during Fall quarter of a fifth year. I had already walked for graduation the June before and the future was oddly wide open, and incredibly empty to me. Like many students who are “good at school,” I thought that a graduate program seemed like a reasonable idea, especially because I graduated during an economic crisis and the job search was difficult. I opened a number of applications for PhD programs in the United States and, on the advice of a professor, I applied to Cambridge because of the opportunity to focus exclusively on Latin American Cinema and a chance to be considered for the Gates Cambridge Scholarship.

My Gates Cambridge personal statement

While the application to Cambridge’s Latin American Studies program did not differ greatly from that of most global graduate schools, in order to be considered for funding opportunities like the Gates Cambridge award I was required to submit an additional personal statement. 

The prompt was daunting:

In not more than 500 words, please describe below how your interests and achievements, both academic and extra-curricular, demonstrate a capacity for leadership, commitment to using your knowledge to serve your community and to applying your talents to improve the lives of others.

I was 22, and I had never really tried to articulate how my curiosity about foreign languages, Latin American literature, culture, and film could demonstrate “ a capacity for leadership ,” or the ability to “serve my community.” But I gave it a go.

The statement of purpose I wrote and submitted to Cambridge:

I grew up in Oakland, California, one of the most violent and disparate urban communities in America. While I knew this as a child, I only knew it in a distant sense. I caught glimpses of newspaper headlines with phrases like “gang violence” and “high homicide rate.” I heard rap songs on the radio that referred to the infamous “O-town of the West,” or the area code “510.” Those were always funny references to my hometown, but they were words and sayings; they never felt like realities to me as I grew up. To my great surprise, these newspaper articles, statistics, and song lyrics only became real to me when I left Oakland and America to spend my junior year abroad in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, and then return home. Before I arrived there, Brazil only existed on paper, in books like Peter Winn’s Americas, and on screen in films like City of God. The mesmerizing topography and diverse population of Rio de Janeiro were realities that I approached with trepidation. But after a year, I abandoned my preconceptions about the city and was even comfortable using unofficial vans, or kombis, to navigate my way through the chaotic and sprawling city. I overcame my fears and learned how to assert myself appropriately in difficult situations. Just as I had become comfortably aware of the realities of Oakland, I became inured to the violence and class conflicts that had frightened me before arriving in Rio. With regards to this experience, the most educational and enlightening moments of shock came to me as I drove through Oakland on my way home from the airport. I had not been home for a year, my eyes were glued to the car window, and I saw everything differently. Though the terrain between the Oakland airport and my home is relatively flat, that day the socio-economic inequality was as clear to me as the diverse topography of Rio de Janeiro. To put it simply, there were houses with fences and window guards, and houses with large driveways and beautifully landscaped gardens. Through subtle markers and contexts, the issues and conflicts that had surprised and scared me in Rio were suddenly applicable to the scenery and media of my hometown. Both of these experiences, of arriving in Brazil and returning to Oakland, are powerful instances of where academic or literary knowledge solidifies through the experience of real events. I want to know more about issues of urban Latin America because they are directly related to urban American issues. Emotional and analytical access to these socio-economic issues through literature and film is a bridge that I passionately want to extend towards students. Every person who enters a college classroom is profoundly privileged with the opportunity to see herself and her surroundings differently. It is my dream to inspire others to see education as an opportunity to travel, to experience difference, and to return home with critical points of view, and the desire to create positive change.

Here’s what happened after I submitted:

• On December 10, I received an email from the Center of Latin American Studies informing me that I had been accepted to the program and would be hearing from the Board of Graduate Studies shortly.
• On December 14, I was informed that I had made it to the finalist round for Gates Cambridge, and that interviews were to be held in February.
• After finishing my coursework at UCLA , I moved home in December, picked up a job as a waitress at a local diner, and started applying for office jobs in the Bay Area.
• And on January 1, 22-year-old Oscar Grant was fatally shot by a BART cop at Fruitvale Station in Oakland, California.

How I was shocked during my Gates Cambridge interview:

During my 25-minute interview with the Gates committee in February, I was completely stunned by a question that one of the British members posed as a research question. It was something like: “Given that you propose to study Latin American film as part of your research, what do you think of the footage of Oscar Grant’s death?” I was pretty much speechless when this question was asked, and I had a hard time composing myself. Footage of Oscar Grant’s killing was impossible to avoid in Oakland. The cell phone recordings of Oscar Grant’s death were also the first reel of raw film images that I had ever seen to depict the end of an actual person’s life. I had seen American History X, a movie in which a white man brutally commits racist and fatal hate crimes, but those were fictional images. Most of the films that I studied regarding Latin America were also made of fictional images. The footage of Oscar Grant dying was a visceral reality for me, and it came with weeks of rioting in my hometown, a series of incredibly tense conversations with neighbors and family, feelings of guilt about my whiteness, and a deep sense of helplessness about the world around me. None of those words came out in my interview. Overwhelmed with emotions, I just wasn’t able to express myself in that moment, and I tried to move on as quickly as possible. But since then, I’ve thought a lot about that question.

What I learned from writing my personal statement for the Cambridge College Scholarship Application:

In hindsight, the question that the committee asked me was a genuine response to my personal statement, which means that the statement had been effective even before it became timely. Remember, I was selected for the shortlist before Oscar Grant was shot, but the setting that I created by observing my own surroundings in the personal statement is what allowed for the committee to connect with a reality that was (and still is) unfolding around me. When I first wrote this statement, I was afraid it didn’t say enough about my achievements, past leadership experiences, or meaningful accomplishments . I wasn’t ready to discuss obstacles overcome, I acknowledged my privilege, and I didn’t know anything about what the essay was supposed to be like. In fact, I didn’t share any of my applications materials with advisors or friends before submitting (a horrible idea!).  

However, after my many years of working with students from a variety of backgrounds on diversity statements and scholarship applications , I understand why this was a successful statement. All I did was observe myself in the world, genuinely and honestly at that stage of my life. I described my relationship to Oakland from an insider’s eyes, and an outsider’s eyes, and that allowed the committee to learn about me within the context of where I grew up. Because I described Oakland from the eyes of someone just off of a plane from Rio de Janeiro, I gave the committee concrete insights that they couldn’t have surmised from the first sentence: “I grew up in Oakland, California.” This is an issue that comes up a lot when I work with people on personal statements. Oftentimes the things that you know about yourself and your surroundings are so obvious to you that you forget to describe these insights to your audience. In a personal statement it is your job to explain who you are, what drives you to accomplish your goals, why your current course of study matters to you and how it can impact others.

How to write a compelling personal statement

If you’re working on a statement like this and you start to wonder what it’s supposed to be, or what you’re supposed to talk about, tell yourself to stop asking that question. Instead ask yourself, what do you know intuitively about how you move in the world? How can you observe yourself so that someone else gets a glimpse of how you think, what you care about, and why you want to do the things that you want to do? I didn’t end up getting the Gates Cambridge Scholarship, which felt like a blow at the time. 

As a result of the same application materials and essays, however, I was awarded a Cambridge Overseas Trust Scholarship for £10,000 ($17,000) which covered most of my tuition. Because of this funding, I ended up going to Cambridge and studying Latin American film. I also took away some incredible lessons from Gates Cambridge interview, and those personal insights made the whole process worth it.

Applying for multiple sources of graduate funding through the Cambridge Trust

My experience interviewing for the Gates Cambridge scholarship also marked a moment when I began my journey into the world of research, grant writing, and teaching college level composition. What I’ve learned since then is that, when it comes to competitive opportunities like the Gates Cambridge Scholarship, it is important to approach the process with level-headed expectations about the chances of getting through to the final rounds and being selected. However, that doesn’t mean that the time you spend building strong application materials and scholarship essays isn’t worth it, as your effort can likely pay off in other ways. 

At universities like Cambridge, there are usually numerous opportunities for funding through entities such as the Cambridge Trust and Funded Research Projects , and they all have different application procedures. Within the Cambridge Trust, for example, there are awards like the Hughes Hall PhD Scholarship, which requires students to select Hughes Hall as a first-choice college and fill out the general College Scholarship application, and the Kanders Churchill Scholarship, which has an entirely separate application process and personal statement. 

So, if you find yourself working on personal statement for a specific university scholarship, that’s a sign that there are other available opportunities at the same institution. The frustrating truth is that it is more than likely that these opportunities are not centralized into one application process. In order for you to make the most of all the work you’ve put into composing a personal statement, it is worth it to conduct additional research about how to be considered for additional scholarships and put together multiple applications based on your profile. 

Working on your SOP?

Get the help you need to write a personal, meaningful graduate statement of purpose. Work one-on-one with an experienced admissions advisor – one who has personally been there – to create an application you’re proud to submit. And did you know that Accepted’s clients received over $1 million dollars in scholarship offers in the last application cycle? Learn more about how Accepted can help when you check out our Graduate School Admissions Consulting Services .

Related Resources:

• What I Learned about Grant Writing from Putting Together 3 Fulbright Applications Before Finally Being Selected • What Is a Scholarship? And Why Didn’t I Get One? • Awards! Grants! Scholarships! Oh My! a podcast episode

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Before applying, applicants need to check that they have, or are likely to achieve, the right grades at the right level and in the right subjects for the course they have chosen. See Entry requirements for general requirements of entry.

It's important that students also check the requirements of their course, as these can vary slightly between Colleges. For example, some Colleges might ask for an A* in a particular subject. Please encourage students to check the course page for their chosen subject carefully - all variations are listed there.

All undergraduate admissions decisions are the responsibility of the Cambridge Colleges. Queries about College-specific requirements should be directed to the relevant College admissions office .

Submitted work

For some courses, applicants may be asked to submit examples of written work produced during their A level/IB (or equivalent) course. This work might be discussed during their interview so students should submit work they’re happy to discuss. They should also keep copies of anything they send so they can re-read it in preparation.

Details of which Colleges require submitted work are included on each course page. Please check the entry requirements tab. The submitted work requirements for some courses may vary by College so students should check the entry requirements tab before applying.

If submitted work is required, the College will advise the student on exactly what is needed, and where and when it should be sent. The deadline is usually mid-November. If an applicant has any queries, they should contact their College’s Admissions Office for clarification.

Students will need to complete a cover sheet confirming that the written work is their own and detailing the circumstances in which it was written. They will also be asked to provide the name of a teacher who can be contacted about the work, if necessary.

Helping students with their personal statement

Personal statements allow students to tell us about their subject interest, and the process of writing a personal statement can often help a student better understand their academic interests and intellectual motivations. For guidance on what to include, we advise you to follow the UCAS advice on personal statements . See also, our article on How to write a great personal statement .

Admissions decisions at Cambridge are based solely on academic criteria (ability and potential). Personal statements may be  used as a basis for discussion at interview.  In a personal statement we are looking for applicants to:

• explain their reasons for wanting to study the subject
• demonstrate their enthusiasm for and commitment to their chosen course
• express any particular interests within the field
• outline how they have pursued their interest in the subject in their own time

How important are extra-curricular activities?

Our admissions decisions are based on academic criteria (ability and potential) and we expect to see evidence of students’ wider engagement with areas of academic interest, such as reading and other exploration relevant to the course for which they've applied. Extra-curricular activities which are of no relevance to the course will not increase a student's chances of receiving an offer. 

If, however, particular extra-curricular activities have enable a student to develop transferable skills, such as organisation or time management, then these can be included in their personal statement. Such activities might include significant caring responsibilities or paid employment, which can help us fully contextualise an application, as well as sport, physical activity, music, drama and volunteering.

Cambridge-specific comments

Applicants can make additional comments relevant to their Cambridge application in their additional questionnaire ( My Cambridge Application ), for instance to highlight particular features of the Cambridge course that attracted them.

This additional personal statement is optional, applicants will not be disadvantaged if they have nothing to add and should be advised not to repeat information they provided in their UCAS personal statement as we will have already received a copy of this.

Helping students prepare for their interview

Interviews are discussion-based, and predominantly academic and subject-related, so applicants will be asked questions:

• that are relevant to the course they applied for
• about the information provided in the written elements of their application

You can help students prepare by encouraging them to talk with confidence and enthusiasm about their subject and wider interests. A mock interview can be helpful to give the experience of expressing ideas and opinions in response to unknown questions. Students are not expected to have ready-prepared answers; indeed, over-rehearsed answers can be counterproductive if students are preoccupied with recalling set speeches on general topics rather than listening to the interviewers’ questions and responding accordingly.

Students should be encouraged to read broadly in the areas of their A level/IB Higher Level (or equivalent) subjects and must be prepared to think quite hard in their interviews but should be reminded that often there are no right or wrong answers to the questions they are asked. It is the process of reaching their answer that is generally of most significance, rather than the answer itself.

It is important for applicants to realise that interviewers will not be trying to ‘catch them out’, but will be challenging them to think and show how they can apply their existing knowledge and skills laterally to less familiar problems.

It is also important for students to understand that their performance at interview alone does not determine the outcome of their application. Admissions decisions are made holistically, taking all available information into account.

You should encourage your students to check the information and short films on our interviews pages so they can make sure they are fully prepared and know what to expect, well in advance of their interview date. 

• HE+ website

The HE+ website is for students looking to expand their subject knowledge outside of the taught curriculum. The website is host to fascinating self-study resources written by Cambridge academics and postgraduates to give potential applicants an introduction to university level learning and independent study.

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• Cambridge University Engineering Personal Statement

University of Cambridge Engineering Personal Statement Writing Tips

Engineering Oxbridge Personal Statement

Last updated: 13 October 2023

Your University of Cambridge engineering personal statement is your chance to shine, to show your passion for engineering, and to demonstrate why you're the ideal candidate. In this article, we'll provide you with a comprehensive guide, offering more in-depth insights into creating a standout Cambridge Engineering personal statement.

Before you apply

To get into Cambridge's engineering MEng programme, you should be a candidate with a solid foundation in engineering principles who can showcase their abilities both academically and passionately. Research Cambridge's achievements in engineering and mention them to show your interest. Learn more about key dos and don't and contact SI-UK today to begin your application.

Contact SI-UK about your application

Cambridge Engineering Personal Statement

Five recommendations, 1. reflect on experiences.

Listing your experiences is just the beginning; you must also reflect on them. Explain how each experience nurtured your interest in engineering or equipped you with valuable skills.

Let's say you were part of a high school engineering club where you built a working model of a renewable energy system. Don't stop at merely stating the achievement. Reflect on how this experience deepened your passion for engineering, what challenges you encountered during the project, and how you overcame them.

2. Emphasise your passion

Your personal statement should exude your passion for engineering. It's not enough to say you're interested; you must explain why. Start by reflecting on what specifically draws you to engineering. Is it the prospect of designing innovative solutions to real-world problems? Is it the fascination with how technology shapes our lives? Is there a particular aspect of engineering, such as civil, electrical, or mechanical, that enthrals you?

Share personal experiences or moments that ignited your interest. Maybe you participated in a robotics competition that opened your eyes to the endless possibilities of automation. A visit to an engineering firm inspired you with its cutting-edge projects.

3. Showcase relevant qualities

Cambridge seeks students who are a perfect fit for their engineering course. To stand out, you must demonstrate that you possess qualities, skills, or traits that align with this ideal.

For instance, engineering demands strong analytical skills. To prove you possess these skills, mention creative problem-solving competitions you've participated in and won. Share anecdotes of how your analytical thinking helped you tackle complex challenges.

Another valuable trait in engineering is perseverance. Research projects often involve facing setbacks and challenges. If you've been part of such a project, talk about how you persevered and remained committed despite difficulties. Provide concrete examples of how this experience enhanced your resilience.

4. Demonstrate depth of knowledge

Engineering is a field that demands a strong intellectual foundation. While you don't need to be an expert, your personal statement should convey that you're well-read and intellectually curious about engineering. This demonstrates your readiness for the academic challenges ahead.

One way to do this is by exploring Cambridge Engineering reading lists. These lists are curated by experts and provide valuable insights into the recommended literature for aspiring engineers. They are a goldmine of information and can help you discover key texts that can enhance your understanding of the subject.

Moreover, don't limit yourself to books. Engage with various media formats, such as magazine columns, news articles, podcasts, and documentaries related to engineering. This broadens your knowledge and shows you are comfortable absorbing information from diverse sources.

5. Start early and proofread

A rushed personal statement is unlikely to do justice to your qualifications and aspirations. Begin the process early, allowing ample time for revisions and improvements.

As you revise your statement, consider seeking feedback from seniors, teachers, or friends. They can provide valuable insights and help you identify areas for improvement. Their fresh perspectives can highlight aspects of your personal statement that need clarification or expansion. When enlisting others to review your statement, exercise caution to avoid potential plagiarism issues. It's advisable not to share your statement to prevent any complications widely.

Five things to avoid

1. lack of structure.

Your personal statement should have a clear and organised structure. Begin with an engaging introduction that briefly conveys your interest in engineering. This introduction should serve as a hook to capture the reader's attention.

Follow up with well-structured body paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of your interest in engineering or a particular quality or skill you possess. Keep each paragraph focused on one major theme to maintain clarity and coherence. Conclude your personal statement by summarising the key takeaways you want the admissions tutors to remember. This final section should leave a lasting impression and reinforce your passion and qualifications.

2. Misguided understanding

Conduct thorough research into Cambridge's engineering course; delve into the curriculum, faculty expertise, and unique aspects of the programme. Mention specific aspects of the course that intrigue you. This demonstrates that you've invested time and effort into understanding what Cambridge offers and why it's your top choice for engineering.

3. Complex language

While a rich vocabulary can enhance your writing, avoid excessive use of complex language. Prioritise clarity and readability above all else. If you encounter an unfamiliar word, opt for a simpler, more accessible explanation. The main goal of your personal statement is to convey your thoughts and ideas to the admissions tutors effectively.

Cambridge itself emphasises the use of clear, plain English in personal statements. This means that clarity and coherence are highly valued.

4. Sweeping statements

Steer clear of vague, sweeping statements that lack substance. For example, stating that you're a great analytical thinker sounds promising but adds zero value if you don't provide evidence or context. Instead of making broad claims, focus on specific instances where you've demonstrated these qualities. Share concrete examples, such as your participation in analytical competitions or real-world scenarios where your analytical thinking made a difference.

5. Unrealistic reflections

Reflection is key to a great personal statement, but it should be authentic and realistic. Avoid attempting to convey too many ideas from a single experience. Each experience should emphasise one key quality or lesson learned.

For instance, if you discuss your participation in a national debate competition, focus on how it improved your public speaking and critical thinking skills. Attributing multiple qualities to a single experience can dilute your message and make your personal statement less effective.

Crafting Your Cambridge Engineering Personal Statement

Crafting a compelling Cambridge engineering personal statement is no small feat, but it's vital in securing a place at one of the world's most renowned engineering programmes. Keep these tips in mind as you write and revise your statement, and remember that your personal story and passion for engineering are what will set you apart from the rest of the applicants.

Cambridge Engineering FAQ

Can i send the same personal statement to multiple universities.

Yes, you can use the same personal statement for different universities when applying through UCAS, but it's a good idea to tailor parts of it to each university's course or requirements to make it more relevant.

What A-level is best for engineering at Cambridge?

Taking A-levels in subjects like mathematics and physics is often recommended for engineering at Cambridge. These subjects provide a strong foundation for engineering studies.

Why do people want to study at Cambridge?

People want to study at Cambridge because it's one of the world's top universities known for its high-quality education, expert professors, and access to cutting-edge research. It offers a prestigious learning environment and great opportunities.

Is Cambridge a good engineering school?

Cambridge is considered one of the best engineering schools globally. It has a strong reputation for its engineering programmes, excellent faculty, and research facilities, making it a top choice for engineering students.

Last Updated: 13 October 2023

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Top Tips for Cambridge Psychological and Behavioural Sciences Personal Statement

Your personal statement should show Cambridge Psychological and Behavioural Sciences tutors that you are interested in and engaged with Psychology, and demonstrate why you would be a great candidate for the Psychological and Behavioural Sciences course (PBS). Read on to find out how to make a great impression with your personal statement!

1. Start preparing early!

A great Cambridge PBS personal statement will include lots of super-curricular activities (this means things you’ve done related to Psychology above and beyond what you’ve done as part of your school curriculum). You want to give yourself plenty of time to read things you’re interested in and perhaps even discover some new areas of interest, so start preparing for this early.

2. Figure out what areas of Psychology interest you

Psychology is a broad topic, and you would never be able to talk about all of it in a Cambridge PBS personal statement. Instead you need to focus on what areas interest you the most. If you’re studying Psychology already, think about which aspects of your course you enjoy the most and try and seek out some wider reading that goes beyond what you’ve been taught. If you’ve never studied it before, there must be a reason you want to study it at degree level so focus on what got you into Psychology as a starting point. Cambridge want to know why you want to study the subject at degree level – what specific aspects captured your interest?

3. Be reflective about your super-curricular activities

Your Cambridge PBS personal statement shouldn’t just read like a big list of all the things you’ve read/seen/done that relate to Psychology. Try taking a more reflective and critical approach – what did you learn from what you did? You can also try making links between different things you’ve done, and how one piece of reading might have led you to another idea and a different activity. This helps to show you are engaging with the subject.

4. Don’t worry if you don’t have relevant work experience

Cambridge does not require or expect you to have any work experience. It is not always easy to organise and is not a requirement for the course. If you have work experience, it is important to demonstrate how this has changed your perspective on Psychology and what you learned from it. This doesn’t necessarily have to be work experience that is directly subject relevant as long as it had an impact on your approach to the subject. For example – someone who had work experience volunteering with children learning to read might be inspired to read up on the psychological theories of how reading skills develop.

5. Use a variety of sources to explore Psychology

The bulk of your Cambridge PBS personal statement will be about your super-curricular activities, and this is a really broad category. Basically anything you can relate to Psychology counts, whether that’s some volunteering you did, a book or article you read, a documentary you watched, a MOOC you completed or anything else you can think of! Plenty of these resources will be free too.

6. Structure your Cambridge PBS personal statement appropriately

Admissions tutors will be reading loads of statements, so you need to make yours clear and easy to read – if it’s structured confusingly and full of unnecessarily complicated language they may not have the extra time to make sense of what you’re trying to say. Separate your ideas into paragraphs, and have a short introduction and conclusion to bring it all together. Also be aware of the Cambridge PBS personal statement word limit – you only have 4000 characters (47 lines of text). Therefore it’s important to be concise in the language you use. Use formal language, but make sure it’s natural for you to use – if you use flowery and complex language you wouldn’t normally use to try and impress the reader, it’s not going to work. All that really shows is you know how to use a thesaurus!

7. Your Cambridge PBS personal statement should be personal

Asking others for advice, whether that’s teachers, friends, parents etc. can be useful but remember it is YOUR Cambridge PBS personal statement, not theirs! Don’t change anything you don’t want to change just because someone else says you should. And don’t let anyone else write it for you – it is really obvious when students haven’t used their own words in a statement and have let someone else have too much control. Everyone will have their opinions on how a Cambridge PBS personal statement should sound – your opinion on how your Cambridge PBS personal statement should sound is the only one that matters.

8. Give yourself plenty of time to write it

The UCAS deadline for applying to Cambridge is always in mid-October, which is much earlier than for applicants to other universities. This deadline is also inflexible – you won’t be able to apply late. Therefore it’s important you start writing well in advance of the deadline to have enough time to carefully consider what to write, get feedback from others, and refine your Cambridge PBS personal statement. It’s worth thinking about starting it towards the end of the summer before you apply. You can’t write the best Cambridge PBS personal statement possible if you’re rushing it the night before the deadline!

9. Make sure you know the content of your statement well, and don’t lie about what you’ve done

Cambridge says that they may use your PBS personal statement as a basis for interview questions. Therefore, it is vital that you don’t put anything on it if you wouldn’t be comfortable having a conversation about it. Also remember that it is unlikely but entirely possible that the person who conducts your interview has actually written one of the books on your Cambridge PBS personal statement. Therefore you really don’t want to put anything on there that you haven’t read properly, and it might be a good idea to reread things before interview.

10. Try to avoid cliches

Admissions tutors will be reading loads of Cambridge PBS personal statements so you want yours to seem original. Avoid cliched phrases like ‘I have always been interested in…’ ‘For as long as I can remember…’ ‘From a young age…’ (this is by no means an exhaustive list!). Opening with a quote is also rather overdone and doesn’t add much to your statement. Don’t just say vague things about how ‘passionate’ or ‘fascinated’ you are about Psychology – you’re applying to study it at Cambridge so passion for the subject is a given! Your statement should demonstrate your fascination for Psychology without you needing to use the cliche of saying that directly.

11. Proofread

Don’t neglect the proofreading! The last thing you want is to submit a Cambridge PBS personal statement that is full of typos – it doesn’t look very professional. PBS at Cambridge is primarily an essay based subject, and while the Cambridge PBS personal statement isn’t the main way they assess your writing ability, it can’t hurt to make sure your Cambridge PBS personal statement is well-written.

12. Don’t worry too much about extra-curriculars

You might want to add some extra-curricular activities that don’t relate to Psychology to your statement, particularly if you are also applying to other universities too that might value them, but keep it brief. Cambridge do not care about what you have done outside of your subject, however impressive it might be. It’s good to put this sort of thing in as other universities you are applying to will be looking for it, but keep it to a couple of sentences as it’s not really relevant for your Cambridge application.

13. Avoid mentioning Oxford by name (or any other university you’re applying to).

Chances are Cambridge isn’t the only university you’re applying to, and all universities you apply to through UCAS will see identical versions of your Cambridge PBS personal statement. It’s not a good idea to mention any university by name or be too specific in any way, as it may put off other universities from giving you an offer. Keep your Cambridge PBS personal statement applicable to everywhere you are applying to. However, there is a way to tell Cambridge what it is about their course you especially like, bringing us nicely on to…

14. Don’t forget the Supplementary Application Questionnaire (SAQ)

The SAQ is an additional piece of the application that Cambridge will ask for after you’ve submitted your UCAS. It is mainly for extra admin information but there is also space to write an additional 1,200 character PBS personal statement that is only seen by Cambridge. This is a great opportunity to let them know what specific aspects of the course attracted you to apply to study it. You don’t have to write one, but if you do have anything you’d like to add about the Cambridge course specifically this is the place to do it. The SAQ deadline is usually around a week after the October UCAS deadline (be aware that an earlier deadline may apply for international students) so think about what you might want to say on the SAQ in plenty of time.

→What is the Cambridge Psychological and Behavioural Sciences (PBS) program?

The Cambridge PBS program is an undergraduate degree program offered by the University of Cambridge’s Department of Psychology. The program provides students with a comprehensive understanding of human behaviour and the factors that influence it, including social, cognitive, and biological perspectives.

→What are some tips for writing a strong Cambridge Psychological and Behavioural Sciences personal statement?

Some tips for writing a strong Cambridge PBS personal statement include demonstrating a clear understanding of the subject and why it interests the candidate, highlighting relevant academic achievements and extracurricular activities, showcasing research experience and analytical skills, and demonstrating a genuine passion for psychology and behavioural sciences.

→What should be included in a Cambridge Psychological and Behavioural Sciences personal statement?

A Cambridge PBS personal statement should include information about the candidate’s academic achievements, extracurricular activities, research experience, and personal qualities that are relevant to the program. It should also include specific examples of how the candidate has demonstrated analytical skills, critical thinking, and an understanding of the subject.

→How long should a Cambridge Psychological and Behavioural Sciences personal statement be?

The Cambridge PBS personal statement should be no more than 4,000 characters or 47 lines, whichever comes first. Candidates should use this space wisely to showcase their strengths and demonstrate their suitability for the program.

→Is it important to tailor the personal statement to the Cambridge PBS program specifically?

Yes, it is important to tailor the personal statement to the Cambridge Psychological and Behavioural Sciences program specifically. This includes researching the program and understanding its unique features and requirements, as well as demonstrating a genuine interest in the subject and a strong motivation to study at the University of Cambridge.

→How important is the personal statement for the Cambridge Psychological and Behavioural Sciences program?

The personal statement is a crucial part of the Cambridge PBS application process as it allows candidates to showcase their passion for the subject and their potential to succeed in the program. The personal statement also provides the admissions team with insight into a candidate’s motivation, academic background, and personal qualities.

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Medicine Personal Statement Examples – Cambridge (Annie)

Home » Application Guide » Medicine Personal Statement Examples – Cambridge (Annie)

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Welcome to our collection of Medicine Personal Statement Examples! We’ve searched far and wide to find personal statements from successful applicants all around the UK and asked them to analyse the strengths and weaknesses of their work for your own inspiration. Today’s subject is from Annie, who studies Medicine at the University of Cambridge.

Annie applied for Medicine during the 2021 admissions cycle at some of the major medical schools in the UK. From these, she received offers from Newcastle University and the University of Cambridge , of which she chose Cambridge.

Let’s read the personal statement that got her a place at the University of Cambridge , or skip straight to her feedback to learn what made her personal statement a success!

(Please note that Annie has omitted a couple of segments in order to protect her privacy)  

Please be aware that these examples are meant purely for the sake of inspiration, and should absolutely NOT be used as a model around which to base your own personal statement. UCAS have a rather strict system that detects plagiarism .

Cambridge Medicine Personal Statement Example

Whole personal statement.

[OMITTED] I realised how a doctor impacts both physical health and quality of life, using adaptable skills, precise questioning and observations. I saw that the initial diagnosis and treatment were just the start of a holistic relationship between the doctor and patient. The NHS’ sense of duty, dedication to patients and commitment to care in the pandemic inspire me. I’m aware of the issues surrounding funding, PPE and staff shortages, antibiotic resistance and an aging population, but these challenges motivate me to become a part of the team working to face them, just as my own health problems did.

This led me to Mini Medical School, where I was struck by the difficulty in distinguishing between tonsillitis, glandular fever or a sore throat, resulting in the overuse of antibiotics. A PHEM doctor explained how cutting open the pericardium at a stabbing allowed blood to escape so the heart had room to beat again. The RCS’ talk then examined the wider consequences of knife crime from police, doctor, and familial perspectives. The Medical Stuff podcast, by American paramedics, stressed keeping up with developments, such as altering the use of the spine board.  

With a growing interest in Chemistry and Biology, I was excited to build on my prior

knowledge and understand how the complexity of organic molecules links to intermolecular bond formation. “The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks” inspired me to think about the role of ethics in Biology and medicine. Ethical debate stimulates me: I reached the regional heat of a magistrates’ mock trial competition. I enjoy making links in understanding, for instance the way in which high blood pressure causes excess tissue fluid production, causing tissue swelling. My EPQ then allowed me to explore mosquito-transmitted diseases, leading me to research in the NCBI and BMJ; discovering Artemisinin, an effective antimalarial drug, gave me a taste of the original finding. My interest in my subjects is reflected in my achievements: winning Gold in the Intermediate Biology Olympiad and a team 2nd place finish in the local RSC Top of the Bench and STMC competitions. My advanced Maths, as evidenced by Gold awards in the UK Maths Challenges up to Intermediate level, and qualification for their summer school, gave me scenarios in which to apply my problem-solving skills.

As a Level 1 coach at a local badminton club, I lead warm-ups and sessions, as well as

helping at county and national tournaments; I recently won the [OMITTED] award. l love to watch players improve through observing and offering corrections; these skills would be invaluable in medicine, not only in diagnosis but also patient care. My work with children (some with SEN) has taught me how to communicate flexibly; this skill would be honed in paediatrics, where I was offered a placement before the pandemic. As a player, I am currently ranked [OMITTED] nationally in singles, and look forward to playing at university to let off steam. Sport has not only emphasised the importance of astute judgement and resilience, it has taught me how to train efficiently, perform under pressure and maximise team performance, as has DofE and NCS. World Challenge let me experience another culture in Borneo, furthering my ease with people from diverse backgrounds: vital on a multicultural ward with patients’ differing upbringings and consequent cultural behaviour, something which I am well aware of as a fluent Mandarin speaker.

Crucially, I have the capacity for hard work, the intellectual curiosity, and the determination needed to succeed. I am convinced that in medicine I will be able to apply my knowledge differentially, continue my scientific learning, and engage with people at the most profound level, making a significant difference to society as well as impacting upon the human condition for the better.

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Cambridge Medicine Personal Statement Example Analysis

Now, let’s go section by section and see what Annie has to say about what she wrote:  

INTRODUCTION

Introduction

I have covered up my introductory sentence as I feel it covers a rather personal subject, but it starts off my personal statement by discussing aspects of healthcare that are personal to me. This immediately offers the admissions tutor some information about myself and why I might be interested in medicine, while also offering an interesting and personal opening line that avoids being generic.  

I was then able to link this to my developing understanding of how the NHS works, and the problems that doctors, as well as the NHS as a whole, face. I was also able to link in some more topical content, such as the Covid-19 pandemic, as we were still coming in and out of lockdowns at the time. With all this, it sets me up as an applicant who is thoroughly interested in medicine and very aware of the world surrounding it.  

I feel the flow of the introduction is quite choppy and only covers information superficially – however, when working to a strict character limit, this is quite difficult to overcome unless significant sections of the personal statement get cut out. My suggestion for improvement here would be to make it more concise and deal with specific topics later on in the main part of the statement. As it is, it’s less of an introduction and more of just a first paragraph. Coming straight out of the gate like this may not be as impressive as I initially thought.  

Paragraph 1

This paragraph contains an anecdote about two activities I took part in outside of school (Mini Medical School and a talk on knife crime by the RCSEd) which helped me further my understanding of medicine as a career. It also demonstrates that I have independently sought out more information about medicine, which helps you appear as an interested and driven candidate. Initiative is one of the best qualities of both a good doctor and a good medical student! I also mentioned a podcast I was listening to at the time which demonstrates some degree of dedication to learning about medicine over time, rather than a one-off event.  

I feel the section lacks detail and covered things superficially, but this can act as a springboard for interviewers to ask you about your personal statement or alternatively, give you an idea of what to mention in your interview (as not all interviewers will look at your personal statement).  

The big thing missing here is a discussion of my work experience . If my work experience placement hadn’t been cancelled due to the pandemic, I feel this would have been the leading experience to discuss here. I would have briefly described what I did and then follow up with a reflection of what I learnt and how it had helped me develop as a medical professional. Losing out on this experience was a big blow to my application, but this is not the fault of the personal statement itself. I tried my best to fill the gap with something just as interesting, but the lack of work experience does leave something to be desired. Hopefully, future applicants won’t have to face a medical emergency on this level.  

Paragraph 2

With a growing interest in Chemistry and Biology, I was excited to build on my prior knowledge and understand how the complexity of organic molecules links to intermolecular bond formation. “The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks” inspired me to think about the role of ethics in Biology and medicine. Ethical debate stimulates me: I reached the regional heat of a magistrates’ mock trial competition. I enjoy making links in understanding, for instance the way in which high blood pressure causes excess tissue fluid production, causing tissue swelling. My EPQ then allowed me to explore mosquito-transmitted diseases, leading me to research in the NCBI and BMJ; discovering Artemisinin, an effective antimalarial drug, gave me a taste of the original finding. My interest in my subjects is reflected in my achievements: winning Gold in the Intermediate Biology Olympiad and a team 2nd place finish in the local RSC Top of the Bench and STMC competitions. My advanced Maths, as evidenced by Gold awards in the UK Maths Challenges up to Intermediate level, and qualification for their summer school, gave me scenarios in which to apply my problem-solving skills.

This is a large paragraph detailing some of my academic pursuits, a very important topic to cover especially considering my circumstances. I began by mentioning an element of my A-level studies that interested me, then briefly brought up a book relating to medical ethics I had read recently which had especially impressed upon me the importance of medical ethics and the lasting legacy of unethical medicine in our recent past.  

I was then able to link this to some debating activities that I had undertaken during secondary school to demonstrate quick thinking and problem-solving skills, as well as public speaking skills – all of which are relevant to jobs in healthcare where you might be expected to speak to many new and unfamiliar patients daily. I was then able to link in my EPQ, which I had completed with a more public health view than a more strictly academic view, on the future of tackling mosquito-transmitted diseases. Finally, I mentioned some awards I had won outside of GCSEs and A levels for academic achievement. This is all highly desirable content that an admissions team would expect to see from a quality applicant.  

Once again, this paragraph feels highly disjointed, with each sentence feeling like it is not especially relevant to the preceding one. I think it would be improved by rearranging the structure so that it flows much more smoothly, with the super curricular activities in one part of the paragraph, or even in a paragraph of their own, or linked to the first paragraph which also mentions super curricular activities. This is an issue of both structure and writing techniques, so it is important that you review these elements regularly to ensure you are writing in a way that is easy to read.  

Paragraph 3

As a Level 1 coach at a local badminton club, I lead warm-ups and sessions, as well as helping at county and national tournaments; I recently won the [OMITTED] award. l love to watch players improve through observing and offering corrections; these skills would be invaluable in medicine, not only in diagnosis but also patient care. My work with children (some with SEN) has taught me how to communicate flexibly; this skill would be honed in paediatrics, where I was offered a placement before the pandemic. As a player, I am currently ranked [OMITTED] nationally in singles, and look forward to playing at university to let off steam. Sport has not only emphasised the importance of astute judgement and resilience, it has taught me how to train efficiently, perform under pressure and maximise team performance, as has DofE and NCS. World Challenge let me experience another culture in Borneo, furthering my ease with people from diverse backgrounds: vital on a multicultural ward with patients’ differing upbringings and consequent cultural behaviour, something which I am well aware of as a fluent Mandarin speaker.

(I have covered up some identifying information). This paragraph is more centred on my extracurricular activities which are not directly related to medicine but demonstrate my depth as a person. They also contain transferrable skills which would be immensely helpful to a doctor with regards to patient care and bedside manner etc. It also helps demonstrate that while I would make a strong student (as hopefully evidenced by the preceding sections) I would also make a well-rounded student and contribute to university life , reducing the risk of burnout as I have established activities outside of medicine which also demonstrate dedication and resilience .

The line “ and look forward to playing at university to let off steam ” is a fun little addition that shows my confidence in my application.  

While extracurriculars are great for rounding off your application, some universities (especially Oxbridge) place less importance on extracurriculars and much more emphasis on super curriculars so this may depend on which universities you apply to. However, I feel that it would be better to cut this paragraph down a bit to place more emphasis on the super curricular activities. On the other hand, it also demonstrates a lot of key transferrable skills that medical schools tend to look for in applicants. My discussion of these skills and how they link to medicine could have been deeper though, especially considering how large the paragraph is.  

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I offer a summary of the skills I feel I have acquired which are most relevant to medicine and I have kept the conclusion quite short and snappy, leaving the admissions tutor with a quick end and hopefully a positive lasting impression. It functions exactly as a good conclusion should, tying everything together and providing a short explanation of why I would make a good candidate.

The problem with making a conclusion that functions exactly as it should is that it can become a little generic, something that could be applied to any applicant. However, if you have made yourself unique in the majority of your personal statement this may be acceptable, as you hopefully will already have left an impression on the admission tutor. The conclusion isn’t there to add anything new to the discussion but simply to reaffirm everything else you’ve written, so you need to make sure it’s technically sound and makes sense to have this impact.  

Final Thoughts

I believe this personal statement succeeds because of all of the following:

– It mentions a wide variety of activities, both short-term and long-term, to demonstrate dedication and resilience (this is important as medicine is both a difficult and a long course).

– It offers personal anecdotes and experiences, which will help you stand out as an applicant and not appear generic (this is important as admissions tutors may read many personal statements).

– It covers both extracurricular and super curricular activities and mentioned briefly how each is relevant to the study of medicine.

– It discusses some activities outside of academia to demonstrate that I am a well-rounded applicant and also offers ways in which I may contribute to university life (although this is less important than the other parts of the application).

I believe the personal statement has issues in these areas:  

– There are areas where it is quite choppy and does not flow well (it should have been restructured to flow more clearly and make it easier to read)

– It is incredibly difficult to pander to both Oxbridge (very focused on academia) and other universities (who may be less focused on academia and more interested in transferable skills, for example)

– There are some areas which are a little informal so the register is not the most suitable for a personal statement

At the risk of making excuses for myself, I do feel that the biggest issue here is the lack of work experience. In a typical medical personal statement, discussions of work experiences will be one of the primary focal points with the main body, as it demonstrates dedication, applicable skills and gives you a chance to reflect on the qualities you learnt during your time working. My lack of work experience here is certainly justifiable given the circumstances, but the statement does feel like it’s missing something without it. With that being said, I feel I did the best I could to make up for its absence, which was certainly good enough to get me an offer from my top choice of university!  

So there you have it! This personal statement helped Annie get 2/4 offers in her application, including one from the highest-ranked medical school in the UK!

Everyone has different experiences and abilities, so you may not be able to relate to everything that was said in this personal statement. However, the information and advice provided by Annie is universal and will help any applicant write a better personal statement!  

Be sure to check out more Medicine Personal Statement Analyses to see advice from all different kinds of applicants, including Ali Abdaal himself, who also attended Cambridge! Or if you want to get started on your own statement, check out 6med’s Personal Statement Bundle for all the support and resources you’ll ever need! If you want full support on every part of your application and a guaranteed place at med school, the Complete Bundle will be perfect for you.  

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• Aug 17, 2018

The Essay that Got Me into Cambridge

Many of you guys have messaged me to ask which other universities I applied to and what my application to these places looked like. I will share a full list of all the universities I applied to very soon. I decided to share the personal statement that I submitted to St. John's College at the University of Cambridge today. I was accepted to Cambridge as a law student.

The UK personal statement is much more academic than the US Essay but I also enjoyed writing it because it really makes you reflect on why you want to study a specific subject. Here is the written version of my personal statement:

Growing up in Germany, I realised the importance of law when learning about the Third Reich: The law was abused to strip Jews of their fundamental rights through the Nuremberg laws. This event has shown me how law could be used to authorise the oppression of a group in a given social context. Law affects everyones' lives - no matter whether they practice law or not.

Law's ability to decide about the living conditions of entire peoples gives it great power. I want to study law because having the knowledge of law would enable me to prevent the abuse of the power of law.

Studying History as a higher level subject has equipped me with great research and analytical skills. My work in History has made me more sensitive to the credibility of sources. My English Language and Literature course (higher level) has exposed me to different text sorts and prepared me to analyse anything from a shampoo commercial to one of Shakespeare's plays. Writing my Extended Essay on the Allies' motivations for initiating the Nuremberg trials gave

me the opportunity to analyse the relationship between national politics and the support for international law. The Nuremberg trials set an important precedent in international law and analysing their roots meant analysing the origins of specific principles in international law. My higher level Global Politics course prepared me with a foundational understanding of international power structures and decision-making. I was able to apply this knowledge in the course "Genocide and Humanitarian Intervention" at Stanford University where I analysed the impact of the Genocide Convention on international actors in numerous case studies. I deepened my understanding of the application of and compliance with international law by also studying international relations as part of Stanford's Human Rights Intensive Studies. My studies have exposed me to several case studies where law had been used to legitimise injustice which further encouraged me to learn more about the application of law in different contexts.

Working at the NGO Crossroads put me in touch with asylum seekers in Hong Kong. Working with them gave me an insight into Hong Kong's poor support for asylum seekers and its non-compliance with the Refugee Convention and its 1967 Protocol. I explored this issue further in my Global Politics Engagement Activity on refugees' dependency on NGOs in Hong Kong. My research made me aware of the importance of local jurisdiction and national law and their potential limitations on international law. Having debated for my school from seventh to

tenth grade, I developed the ability to see different viewpoints to situations. I joined Model United Nations in eleventh grade and was chosen to lead it one year later. Leading my school's MUN team equipped me with the ability to prioritise tasks and effectively plan all steps in a work process. A demanding course such as law requires the ability to schedule all your tasks in order to succeed. MUN taught me to defend the interests of the country I am representing and to negotiate diplomatically while not losing sight of national interests. National interests often clash in MUN and this taught me how to make compromises without giving up too much of my country's national goals. Being able to convince others of your opinion and to effectively negotiate a contract are skills required for practicing law.

Studying law at the undergraduate level will equip me with foundational knowledge in legal proceedings and the skills required for systematically analysing legal cases which I could apply in my graduate studies on international law. The UK is one of the UN Security Council's veto powers which makes her an influential country in the creation and enforcement of international law. Her international significance makes her the perfect country to pursue my legal studies.

I hope this helps you guys with writing your personal statements! Please feel free to message me if you have any questions!

Lots of Love,

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Successful Personal Statement For Psychological and Behavioural Sciences At Cambridge

Last Updated: 6th April 2022

Author: Rob Needleman

Table of Contents

Welcome to our popular Personal Statement series where we present a successful Personal Statement, and our Oxbridge Tutors provide their feedback on it. 

Today, we are looking through a Psychological and Behavioural Sciences (PBS) applicant’s Personal Statement that helped secure a place at Cambridge University. The PBS Course at Cambridge gives you the opportunity to study cognitive, social, developmental and biological psychology within the broader context of the behavioural sciences.

Read on to see how this candidate demonstrates their interest in the behavioural sciences.   

Here’s a breakdown of the Personal Statement (the applicant uses most of the 4,000 characters available):

SUCCESSFUL?

The universities this candidate applied to were the following:

Enrolling on our Oxbridge Psychology comprehensive Programme will give you access to Personal Statement redrafts. 

Your tutor will give you actionable feedback with insider tips on how to improve and make your Personal Statement Oxbridge quality for the best chances of success.  

Psychological and Behavioural Sciences Personal Statement

”Such a shame she will not study medicine!” I heard several times as my interests finally steered into a university degree. Having grown up with my mum – a psychologist, from primary school I constantly questioned human behaviour. And although parents from small towns dream of their children becoming doctors, phenomena that I saw in my surroundings, like eating disorders or extreme shyness, relentlessly attracted my attention. I knew I needed to pursue an intense educational path to gain the depth of knowledge I desired.

My exceptional curiosity led me to follow the IBO program. Thanks to its curriculum, I relished the opportunity to extend my private research and put it into academic framework. While working independently on my Extended Essay “Should introversion be treated?” I discovered Susan Cain and her book “Quiet: The Power of Introverts”. My puzzle of introversion developed into educated distinction for introversion, social anxiety disorder and behavioural inhibitions. In addition, the EE helped me understand the role of biology, encouraging me to start an online course “Introduction to psychology” taught by the University of Toronto. My curiosity still reaches far beyond these introductions and I am looking forward to studying details of brain lobes during biological modules of the course. Moreover, since the subject of eating disorders is too sensitive to be researched in high school, I cannot wait to approach it at an academic level and discuss it with world class experts.

My in-depth, intense processing applies not only to theory, but I also appreciate the material world we live in. Hence, to step out of my comfort zone and into reality, I attended a Business Week program organised by Washington City in Gdansk. My initial function as Vice-President for a business simulation left me with a deep aspiration for a better performance. Therefore, I followed-up Business Week program with an advanced option and became the CEO of my team. Right then I started to appreciate the contribution of every member. I took real pleasure in guiding my team through the processes of marketing, pricing, R&D, production and the construction of a business plan, all of which I understood quickly and precisely thanks to analytical thinking skills I developed during a demanding Maths HL course.

My commitment and eagerness to learn may also be seen by the title of a finalist in the French Language Olympiad, meaning that I reached an advanced level in just two years. Furthermore, I participated in two exchange projects with a Provencal theatre to check my linguistic competencies with native speakers. Although both exchanges were awarded with European Language Label, what counted most was my exceptional chance to explore the French culture inside out. My other interests include French literature, contemporary dancing, horse riding and behavioural economics. The latter led me to the online course organised by the University of Queensland, Australia. The course outlined concepts from Daniel Kahneman’s “Thinking Fast and Slow”, of which planning fallacy and confirmation bias I consider of greatest importance. Moreover, thanks to good time management I constantly look for other initiatives, such as a charity campaign or volunteering in teaching English or organising TriMUN as Deputy Secretary General. During TriMUN I explained to participants how to follow all the diplomatic procedures – those activities made me wonder about different approaches I had to take in order to teach.

I no longer want psychology to remain only an interest of mine; instead, I need dependable academic tools to understand the research already done. As psychology is a relatively new field of science, early starting form Wundt in 1879, there is still space for much more to be done. I believe that a strong scientific background is crucial for building a career involving communicating with people efficiently and helping them function optimally in our complex material world.

For more inspiration, take a look through our other successful Personal Statement a nalysis articles:

Successful Personal Statement For Natural Science (Physical) At Cambridge

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Download our Free Personal Statement Starter Guide 

Good Points Of The Personal Statement

This candidate is able to identify a range of ways in which they have developed their interest in their subject area beyond the demands of their current courses of school-level study. They are also able to demonstrate that they have thought clearly and carefully about what kinds of material they might encounter at undergraduate level, and how that intersects with both their current interests and their potential areas of interest in the future. In order to have arrived at these opinions, the candidate has read a range of texts, and is able to utilise their thoughts on these texts in their statement. As such, they draw together various aspects of their academic pursuits in order to fully paint the picture of themselves as a motivated and tenacious academic student.

Bad Points Of The Personal Statement

While the candidate is generally able to express themselves clearly, there are moments where the syntax and exact choices of vocabulary seem slightly stilted, suggesting perhaps a non-native speaker or an unedited statement. This slight lapse in language skill does present areas where the communication level is affected, and therefore puts pressure on the content of the statement as a whole. The statement also relies heavily on anecdotal evidence and does include some slightly uncomfortable generalities. In addition, the candidate would benefit from perhaps adjusting the tone of their moments of personal reflection; the statement has the potential to be read in a way that suggests the writer is arrogant or pompous, and it may well be that this is solely down to word choice rather than intention.

UniAdmissions Overall Score:

★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

Although this statement illustrates the candidate’s academic fervour, it does also show areas for potential improvement. It would have been beneficial for the statement as a whole had the candidate maintained a clear and developed level of academic prose throughout, and they could have more clearly linked some of their extra-curricular activities to their chosen course of study. In addition, while the candidate ably discusses texts that they have read in preparation for undergraduate study, these discussions could have taken prominence in the statement, over and above the inclusion of more personal or anecdotal material.

This Personal Statement for Psychology is a good example of demonstrating interest. The candidate’s passion is clearly shown which is vital to Admissions Tutors.

Remember, at Cambridge, these Admissions Tutors are often the people who will be teaching you for the next few years, so you need to appeal directly to them.

There are plenty more successful personal statements and expert guides on our Free Personal Statement Resources page.

Our expert tutors are on hand to help you craft the perfect Personal Statement for your Cambridge PBS application.

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History personal statement example (cambridge offer holder).

Human civilisation fascinates me. Watching Andrew Marr's "History of the World" opened my eyes to the path that society has charted over the millennia, developing from a disparate collection of hunter-gatherers to the collection of sophisticated polities we have today. This journey is one which I find worthy of further study.

Stemming from my interest in the development of society, I find the Medieval Era an enthralling period. My Extended Project on the Anglo-Saxons' consolidation of England gave me an insight into the process by which Europe emerged following the fall of Rome. Researching my essay engendered in me a deep appreciation for historical scholarship and I came to love expressing my findings in writing. I have found the Medieval Era was far from a "Dark Age" characterised by religious dogmatism taking precedence over reason. The cultural work of King Alfred of Wessex and the intellectual resurgence that took place during the Carolingian Renaissance both confirm the Middle Ages should not be regarded as a time of conservative regression, but of valuable social development which laid the groundwork for Europe's later achievements. Starkey's "Magna Carta" has shown me how medieval government was not a monolithic organ dominated by the Crown but rather a dynamic organisation with competing interests vying for influence; particularly surprising was the tenacity of the Committee of Twenty-Five Barons in presenting a quasi-republican challenge to King John's royal authority. I have attended two external lectures by David Starkey related to my Tudor studies at A Level; seeing a historian impart his views in public caused me to reflect on how the scope of our historical knowledge is dictated by those who were able to record events and limited by their respective biases.

Researching the multicausal nature of the Byzantine Empire's disintegration for an essay competition revealed a new dimension of the medieval world to me. I found the most convincing causal factor in the decline of this bulwark of Christendom to be the Great Schism of 1054. The consequent strain on relations between East and West, exemplified by the devastating Sack of Constantinople of 1204, would precipitate the empire's fall at the hands of the Ottomans. I have also found the manner in which the Roman and British empires subjugated local rulers to reveal an interesting aspect of mankind's attitude to his own culture and heritage; many groups are willing to abrogate their sovereignty lest they suffer the far greater loss of having their cultural heritage overridden. Rousseau's "The Body Politic" demonstrated to me how the ostensibly sovereign "general will" of the people can so often be overrun by self-interested governments. However, I find his formulaic approach to analysis rather ahistoric as it fails to address the multitude of parameters that affect human behaviour.

Seeking to share my enthusiasm for the subject, I have assisted in GCSE History lessons. I hold the demanding positions of Head Boy of my school and Chair of [county omitted for privacy] Youth Council, through which I have gained significant experience in public speaking and leadership. I acted as the Senior Barrister in my school's winning team for the [omitted for privacy] Inter-School Mock Trial Competition, leading a successful defence in a war crimes case at the "International Criminal Court". This refined my skills in research, teamwork and performing under pressure. I am also the co-chair of my school's Philosophical Society, facilitating rational discussion on a wide range of issues; I further argue my views with vigour in the school Debating Society.

In studying History, my ultimate desire is to gain a greater understanding of the characters, movements and events which have catalysed the development of human civilisation.

Profile info

There is no profile associated with this personal statement, as the writer has requested to remain anonymous.

Author's Comments

Have received offers to study History (V100) at:

University of Cambridge (A*AA) Durham University (A*AA) University College London (AAA) University of Leeds (AAA/AAB with an A in History) University of Sheffield (ABB)

This personal statement is unrated

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How to write a successful personal statement

The personal statement is an integral part of a job or school application because it showcases the applicant’s personality in an intimate way. The resume is a list of objective accomplishments and successes that the applicant has earned, but the personal statement highlights passion and aspirations that cannot be listed in simple bullet points. Although the personal statement should further boost the applicant’s strengths and qualifications for the program, it should not be a summary of the resume. A successful personal statement is one that tells a story that ties the person’s history and life events to their current desires and future goals if accepted into their applied program. Although there is no cookie-cutter approach to drafting the perfect personal statement, it should be a concise essay that gives specific anecdotes leading up to your desired career path, explains why you would be a good fit in this field, and ultimately demonstrates your capacity to exceed at the position you are pursuing.

The first chunk of the personal statement should be captivating enough to hook the audience and convince them to continue reading. A helpful way to introduce the personal statement is to provide a short story or experience from your past that has steered you toward your desire to apply to the selected program. A unique story can help differentiate you from others not only because it is an unexpected aspect of your application but also because you steer away from simply listing your achievements that admission readers already acknowledged from your resume. Some examples that I have read include describing the joys of holding a lemonade sale initiating the desire for one to attend business school or encountering the power of medicine in a life-threatening event encouraging one to attend medical school. Stories portray passion and motive far better than a resume can and readers appreciate an engaging story after having read so many essays about other applicants’ academic successes.

Supporting Paragraphs with Evidence

The next chunks of the essay should be about the strengths that you can bring to this particular field. Admission readers will know about your intelligence and studious nature from your academic successes, but the personal statement is a place to capitalize on other personality traits that are important for the field you are entering but may not be translated well from your resume. Strengths such as your creativity, your attention to detail or your communication skills can be highlighted in your personal statement. These are skills that are crucial in the workforce or classroom because selection committees look for someone who can work well with the other admitted applicants and bring a fresh perspective to the mix. Writing about one or two of your strengths in a humble way will show readers that you are a well-rounded applicant who understands that the position you are applying for requires more than good statistics and grades.

The Conclusion

The conclusion of the essay should convince the reader that you are capable of excelling in the field that you have chosen. If this is a statement for a specific company or position, moreover, it can be tailored to this program so that it shows your enthusiasm. Doing research on the program’s website to find their mission or values can be advantageous so you can describe how your strengths align with theirs. The last part of the essay should tie your application together- it should supplement your resume by detailing your personality and passion behind your successes. Providing an anecdote followed by your personality strengths allows the admission readers to obtain a more comprehensive view of your application and the conclusion of your essay should solidify your desire and ability to succeed.

Above all, the personal statement should be an accurate and humble representation of who you are. Admission readers have read countless essays and are easily able to distinguish those that are honest from those that are boastful. Remember your desire and motive for the field you have chosen and let that speak through your essay!           

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Jerry West, NBA legend, dies at 86

NBA legend Jerry West, whose prolific playing career landed him on the league's logo and basketball savvy led to multiple championships, died on Wednesday, the Los Angeles Clippers said.

The 86-year-old had been working as an advis e r to the Clippers since 2017 .

"Jerry West, the personification of basketball excellence and a friend to all who knew him, passed away peacefully this morning at the age of 86," according to the statement by the Clippers. "His wife, Karen, was by his side."

NBA commissioner Adam Silver called West a "basketball genius" and a "defining" figure in the league.

“I valued my friendship with Jerry and the knowledge he shared with me over many years about basketball and life," Silver said in a statement. "On behalf of the NBA, we send our deepest condolences to Jerry’s wife, Karen, his family and his many friends in the NBA community.”

Great players from across generations paid tribute to West.

“I valued his friendship and knowledge,” six-time NBA champion Michael Jordan said. “I always wished I could have played against him as a competitor, but the more I came to know him, I wish I had been his teammate. I admired his basketball insights, and he and I shared many similarities to how we approached the game.”

The Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame member was an all-American at West Virginia University before playing 14 seasons for the Los Angeles Lakers.

Despite the fact West's career came in an era with a much shorter playoff schedule, his name is still all over NBA postseason record books : 4,457 points (ninth most), 1,622 baskets made (ninth), and 1,213 free throws made (seventh) just to name a few.

In regular season play , West made 7,160 free throws, the ninth most.

He wa s named t o t he NBA's all-time team , among the 75 greatest in 75 years of the league, in 2021.

West's lasting multigenerational impact on the sport cannot be understated.

Modern NBA fans know him as "The Logo" with his silhouette serving as pro basketball's most front-facing image.

Baby boomers know West as "Mr. Clutch , " the player always willing to take game-deciding shots. He famously knocked in a buzzer-beating 60-footer against the New York Knicks , sending Game 3 of the 1970 NBA Finals to overtime. West won the first NBA Finals MVP award , in 1969.

And even older fans might know West as “Zeke from Cabin Creek,” in a slightly geographically challenged moniker because he grew up in Chelyan, West Virginia, not in neighboring Cabin Creek.

"Today is one of the saddest days ever for West Virginia University and the state of West Virginia," WVU athletic director Wren Baker said in a statement. "We have lost the greatest Mountaineer of all time, and there will never be another Jerry West."

Before turning pro, West played in on what generally regarded as the greatest amateur team in world basketball history, the 1960 gold medal-winning Americans.

Coach Pete Newell tabbed future Hall of Famers Walt Bellamy, Jerry Lucas, Oscar Robertson and West for a squad that won by an average of more than 42 points per contest that summer in Rome.

West continued his greatness into the pro ranks, leading the Lakers to nine appearances in the NBA Finals, capturing the title once, in 1972.

He spent nearly two decades in the Lakers front office, serving as general manager and helping assemble the famed "Showtime" teams .

Magic Johnson, the centerpiece of those teams, said West meant the world to him.

"Jerry West was more than a general manager, he was a great friend and confidante," Johnson said in a statement. "He was there in my highest moments, winning 5 NBA Championships, and in my lowest moment when I announced my HIV diagnosis and we cried together for hours in his office."

With West in various management capacities, the Lakers captured NBA titles in 1980, 1982, 1985, 1987, 1988 and 2000.

"Jerry West is forever a basketball icon. He brought Lakers fans their first championship in Los Angeles in 1972 and was integral to another six titles during his time with us," the club said . "Our thoughts are with the West family and the many NBA fans who honor his legacy. Jerry West will always be a Lakers legend."

Pat Riley, head coach for five Lakers titles, said West's passing took him back to the glorious 1980s.

“Today’s sad, sad news about his passing brought back many of those special moments with Jerry," Riley, president of the Miami Heat, said in a statement. "Those beautiful memories came in a waterfall of tears; all coming so fast, so vivid, so etched in my mind."

West went on to work for the Memphis Grizzlies and the Golden State Warriors. He was in Golden State's front office when the Warriors won titles in 2015 and 2017, his seventh and eighth championship rings as an executive.

Warriors owner Joe Lacob grew up in Massachusetts as a fan of West's archrival, the Boston Celtics, but said he was always admirer of the NBA great.

"To me, he was basketball. He was not just about the actual game, but he personified competitiveness," Lacob said in statement on Wednesday. "He was the most competitive individual I have ever met, settling for nothing short of greatness. He had to win. It consumed him. He was bigger than life. He was an icon."

Lacob added: "We are devastated with today’s news of his passing and extend our prayers and support to his wife, Karen, his entire family and the NBA community.”

West won Executive of the Year awards in 1995 with the Lakers and in 2004 with the Grizzlies.

He was honored with a Presidential Medal of Freedom , the nation’s highest civilian honor, by Donald Trump in 2019.

"Jerry’s four decades with the Lakers also included a successful stint as a head coach and a remarkable run in the front office that cemented his reputation as one of the greatest executives in sports history," Silver said. "He helped build eight championship teams during his tenure in the NBA — a legacy of achievement that mirrors his on-court excellence."

West's impact on pro basketball can be seen every time an official league statement appears on NBA letterhead or someone slips on a piece of NBA merchandise.

The red-white-and-blue logo, designed in 1969 by branding guru Alan Siegel, remains as one of the most enduring images in North American sports.

Siegel's friend and noted sports journalist Dick Schaap handed him a file of NBA pictures and an image of West — dribbling with his left hand and driving to the hoop — jumped out at him.

"I always admired him, but I liked the picture because it was a nice vertical and had this motion to it," Siegel told NBA.com in 2021. "I was a fan of his and he was one of those people who had an important history in the NBA."

At the time, Siegel didn't reveal that West the inspiration for that famous silhouette but it was obvious to many fans.

"In designing the logo, I never mentioned it was based on a picture of him," he said. "It was just discovered years later."

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, the NBA's No. 2 all-time scorer, who played for West in Los Angeles, said it's clear why his former coach is "the logo."

"The reason Jerry West is the logo for the NBA is because he embodied the qualities we admire in our best athletes: skills as a player, dedication as a teammate, and integrity as a person," the former Lakers center said in a statement .

"He was my coach, and my advisor, but mostly he was my friend. Today, a part of the continent has broken off and we are all left a little smaller. I know I am. I especially want to send my deepest condolences to Karen and the entire West family."

In recent years, West had become an advocate for mental health, openly speaking about his battles with depression that traced back to childhood with an abusive father in poor, rural West Virginia.

“My goodness, I’ve lived like a lot of people, some really dark moments in my life,” West told “The Rich Eisen Show” in 2022.

“I don’t know what sets it off, but going back to some of the things I saw as a kid that were not conducive for loving nurturing families. It was really difficult for me.”

West took great umbrage at the HBO series "Winning Time," which cast him as an out-of-control executive prone to fits of rage.

While HBO did not apologize to West, the network said "Winning Time" should be viewed more as a dramatization than a documentary.

A tribute to West was played on the video board and a moment of silence was observed at American Airlines Center in Dallas on Wednesday night ahead of Game 3 of the NBA Finals between the Mavericks and the Boston Celtics.

The NBA icon is survived by sons David, Mark and Michael from his first wife, Martha Jane Kane. He and his second wife, Karen, had two sons, Ryan and Jonnie.

David K. Li is a senior breaking news reporter for NBC News Digital.

Brooke Glatz is a booker for NBC News.