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• Published: 31 January 2024

A decade of love: mapping the landscape of romantic love research through bibliometric analysis

• Yixue Han 1 ,
• Yulin Luo 1 ,
• Zhuohong Chen 1 ,
• Nan Gao 1 ,
• Yangyang Song 1 &
• Shen Liu 1  

Humanities and Social Sciences Communications volume  11 , Article number:  187 ( 2024 ) Cite this article

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Given the limited availability of bibliometric and visual analysis on the topic of romantic love, the primary objective of the current study is to fill this gap by conducting a comprehensive visual analysis of relevant literature. Through this analysis, the current study aimed to uncover current research trends and identify potential future directions in the field of romantic love. The current study’s search criteria were met by an impressive 6858 publications found in the Web of Science database for the period between 2013 and 2022. A thorough analysis was conducted on the bibliographic visualization of the authors, organizations, countries, references, and keywords. Over time, there has been a remarkable surge in the number of significant publications. Among the authors in the field of romantic love, Emily A. Impett has emerged as the most prolific. The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships is indeed one of the top journals that has published a significant number of articles on the topic of romantic love. During the preceding decade, the University of California System emerged as a prominent producer of publications centered around romantic love, solidifying the United States’ position as a dominant player in this field. In recent times, there has been a significant surge in the popularity of keywords such as “same-sex,” “conflict resolution,” and “social relationships” within academic literature. These topics have experienced a burst of attention, as evidenced by a substantial increase in references and citations. Through the use of visualization maps and analysis of key publications, the current study offers a comprehensive overview of the key concepts and potential avenues for future research in the field of romantic love. Gaining a deep understanding of the complex dynamics and societal implications of romantic love has been instrumental in formulating policies that embody increased compassion and support. As a result, these policies have played a pivotal role in fostering resilient familial ties and contributing to the enduring stability and prosperity of our social fabric.

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Introduction, the development course of romantic love.

Romantic love, as defined by Hatfield and Rapson ( 1987 ) as an intense longing for union with another, has long been recognized as a driving force behind some of humanity’s most remarkable achievements. Studies by Bartels and Zeki ( 2000 ) and the work of Fehr ( 2013 , 2015 ) have further emphasized its profound impact. Previous research has suggested that romantic love has a crucial role in the development and maintenance of romantic relationships. It involves a transition from the significant investment of time and attention in the initial stages to enhanced communication and satisfaction in committed partnerships (Mizrahi et al. 2022 ). However, recent research has shown that in the United States, the divorce rate has consistently remained at historically high levels. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention ( 2017 ), ~40–50% of first marriages end in divorce. In recent times, there has been a trend toward shorter and more prevalent romantic relationships. Alirezanejad ( 2022 ) found that different generations of women have maintained distinct expectations and experiences when it comes to love. Additionally, the significance of commitment in romantic relationships has witnessed a decline. These findings also indicate that there are additional factors at play that influence the dynamics between romantic love and the duration of relationships. The triangular theory of love, being one of the most widely used theories on romantic love, proposes that romantic love consists of three components: intimacy, passion, and an absence of commitment, alongside a willingness to invest resources without expecting reciprocation (Jimenez-Picon et al. 2022 ). The Love Attitude Scale (LAS) developed by Clyde and Susan Hendrick has been a significant contribution in the study of romantic love using psychometric methods. Tobore ( 2020 ) introduced a comprehensive four-fold framework that aims to elucidate the dynamics of how love evolves and diminishes. This framework includes the elements of attraction, empathy or connection, trust, and respect. As a result, the enigmatic and unique nature of romantic love has captivated the attention of scholars from various disciplines, including psychology, biology, sociology, and neuroscience. These scholars have conducted extensive research and investigations into the complexities of romantic love. Thus, the present study conducted a comprehensive and in-depth analysis and discourse on romantic love, spanning multiple research domains. Additionally, the publication emphasized the influence of romantic love on positive emotions as well as its association with various negative behaviors. Furthermore, it underscored the importance of utilizing bibliometric analysis as a valuable approach to study and understand romantic love.

The research directions of romantic love in different disciplines

Psychologists have focused on exploring the relationship between romantic love and negative emotions in individuals with mental illnesses. Lafontaine et al. ( 2020 ) found a correlation between romantic love insecurity, specifically anxiety and avoidance, and the occurrence of intimate partner violence (IPV). This pattern of behavior was shown to undermine relationships and diminish individuals’ sense of security. Moreover, individuals with schizophrenia and other mental health conditions faced significant challenges in building and sustaining healthy interpersonal connections, partly due to the enduring stigma associated with mental illness (Budziszewska et al. 2020 ). Biological researchers have delved into the physiological activities and responses associated with romantic love. Furthermore, biological research has demonstrated that communication plays a crucial role in enhancing romantic relationships by facilitating physiological and behavioral adaptations between partners. For instance, a study by Zeevi et al. ( 2022 ) revealed that men and women in a romantic relationship can enhance their romantic interest in each other by synchronizing their skin electrical activities and modifying their behavior. These findings suggest that the social adaptation of the sympathetic nervous system and motor behavior play a critical role in the romantic attraction between partners. Furthermore, recent biological research conducted by Kerr et al. ( 2022 ) has discovered a correlation between unsuitable adult attachment in romantic relationships and the interpersonal circumplex, which is a component of personality pathology. Furthermore, a sociological study on pair-bonding conducted by Fletcher et al. ( 2015 ) highlighted that romantic love is intricately linked to the evolution and survival of Homo sapiens, making it a biologically significant function with profound evolutionary implications. Neuroscientists have examined the activation of different brain regions that are triggered by romantic love activities. Functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) has emerged as a prominent technique for studying the neurobiological basis of love. Researchers such as Acevedo et al. ( 2020 ) and Chester et al. ( 2021 ) have utilized fMRI to investigate the neural correlates of romantic love and gain insights into the brain mechanisms underlying this complex phenomenon. Neuroscientists have identified specific brain regions associated with love, including the insula and anterior cingulate cortex. These regions are involved in the processing of emotional experiences related to valued objects. A study by Bartels and Zeki ( 2000 ) highlighted the involvement of these brain regions in the experience of romantic love, shedding light on the neural mechanisms underlying the emotional aspects of love. The activation of reward-related areas in the brain, particularly those rich in oxytocin, has been observed in individuals experiencing love. Studies by Acevedo et al. ( 2012 ) and Bartels and Zeki ( 2004 ) have shown that regions associated with reward processing, such as the ventral tegmental area and nucleus accumbens, are involved in the experience of romantic love. Indeed, the involvement of the reward system in love has surpassed expectations. During the initial stages of romantic love, research conducted by Fisher et al. ( 2010 ) has shown that reward-related brain regions, including the bilateral ventral tegmental areas, are activated more strongly compared to the later stages of passion.

The social impact of romantic love

Undoubtedly, falling in love has a profound impact on people’s daily lives, as highlighted by research conducted by Quintard et al. ( 2021 ). Falling in love has been associated with enhanced well-being and has been correlated with fervor, activity, pleasure, and other positive emotions, as noted in research conducted by Langeslag ( 2022 ). However, it is important to acknowledge that the pitfalls of romantic love are often overlooked. Research, such as that conducted by Lonergan et al. ( 2022 ), has found associations between romantic love and criminal activity as well as psychological disorders. Additionally, studies by Aron et al. ( 2005 ), Merritt et al. ( 2022 ) and Li et al. ( 2022 ) have highlighted the presence of unpleasant affective states such as hyperarousal, anxiety, and depression in the context of romantic love. In recent decades, romantic love has undergone significant transformations that have had a substantial impact on both personal and societal life, as emphasized by research conducted by Reis et al. ( 2013 ).

The necessity of bibliometric analysis

Bibliometrics is a field that encompasses the quantitative study of documents, aiming to provide researchers with insights into academic, technological, and scientific advancements (William and Concepción 2001 ). The methodology utilized a range of techniques, including author analysis, concept mapping, clustering, factor analysis, and citation analysis, to investigate historical data and assist scholars in identifying significant trends and emerging directions within their disciplines (Daim et al. 2006 ; Hou et al. 2022 ). The term “bibliometrics” was coined by the distinguished British scientist Allen Richard in 1969, replacing the previously employed term “statistical bibliography.” In recent years, there has been a surging interest in this approach, with a growing number of researchers incorporating it into their work. Bibliometric analysis has been employed in various research domains, including the study of romantic love. These analyses offer valuable insights into the research areas that have been investigated, as well as potential future trends, challenges, and opportunities in the field. To the best of our knowledge, there have been limited previous publications that have specifically analyzed romantic love based on the triangular theory of love development and explored the concept across different disciplines.

In the current study, we utilized state-of-the-art analytical tools, including CiteSpace (6.2.R2), VOSviewer (1.6.18), Microsoft Excel (2019), and Scimago Graphica (1.0.26), in conjunction with the most recent data obtained from the Web of Science (WOS) core collection database. These tools allowed us to conduct a comprehensive bibliometric and visual analysis of publications related to romantic love published in the last decade. By employing these cutting-edge tools and leveraging the extensive data available from WOS, we aimed to gain valuable insights into the research landscape surrounding romantic love during this specific time frame. Our study aimed to achieve several objectives. First, we sought to identify the current research hotspots and trends within the field of romantic love. Second, we aimed to conduct an in-depth examination of visual maps and seminal articles, providing a comprehensive overview of the literature.

Material and methods

Data acquisition and search strategy.

The Web of Science (WOS) platform served as a valuable resource, containing a vast collection of over 9000 significant academic articles. This database stands as one of the oldest and most comprehensive citation index records, encompassing a wide range of disciplines, including social science, engineering technology, biomedicine, arts and humanities, and various other subjects. Since its establishment in 1900, the Web of Science (WOS) has served as a cornerstone of scholarly research and has wielded significant influence within academic circles (Ellegaard and Wallin 2015 ). The quantitative analysis feature of the platform facilitated the acquisition of various types of information related to scholarly publications. This included data on the annual number of papers published, papers published by state or region, popular journals within specific disciplines, frequently utilized publishing houses, and highly downloaded and cited literature. Indeed, references that receive multiple citations play a crucial role in providing a robust foundation for the study of romantic love, as emphasized by Xu et al. ( 2022 ).

The subject matter of romantic love and its interrelation with romantic relationships has a profound impact on the satisfaction and longevity of love between individuals, as highlighted by Zagefka ( 2022 ). Passionate love is a fundamental concept within romantic relationships, as emphasized by Mizrahi et al. ( 2022 ). Sternberg’s triangular theory of love stands as one of the most substantial and frequently referenced frameworks for understanding love, as noted by Sorokowski et al. ( 2021 ). To comprehensively explore the topic, the search strategy incorporated the inclusion of the following elements: The topic could encompass “romantic love,” OR “passionate love,” OR “romantic relationship,” OR “triangular theory of love.”‘ The search was conducted within the Web of Science Core Collection database, which covers the time period from 2013 to 2022. The database indexes the Science Citation Index Expanded (SCI-EXPANDED) and Social Science Citation Index-Expanded (SSCI-EXPANDED). The search was limited to publications written in the English language. To refine the search and focus on specific types of publications, certain categories were excluded from the search results. These excluded categories included early access, book chapters, proceeding papers, data papers, and retracted publications. By excluding these categories, the search aimed to prioritize reviews and articles, which are typically considered primary sources of scholarly information. As a result of these refined search criteria, a total of 6858 relevant items were identified and included in the analysis.

The retrieval strategy employed in this research was designed to maintain the integrity and impartiality of the search process (see Fig. 1 ).

To ensure that the search results were not influenced by daily database updates, all searches were conducted on a single day, specifically on March 26, 2023.

Analysis tool

For bibliometric analysis, the current study utilized a powerful combination of CiteSpace (6.2.R2), VOSviewer (1.6.18), Microsoft Excel (2019), and Scimago Graphica (1.0.26). These state-of-the-art software tools seamlessly integrated insights from scientometrics, information science, computer science, and other related fields to generate highly intuitive and informative visual maps. These maps revealed the development trajectory and structural underpinnings of scientific research. Indeed, each of these four software applications held unique and irreplaceable significance, excelling in specific domains of bibliometric analysis. Excel, for instance, demonstrated unparalleled proficiency in the intuitive transformation of charts. CiteSpace specialized in the clustering of topics and the delineation of the spatio-temporal background of words. VOSviewer played a pivotal role in both displaying and analyzing keywords, leveraging its distinctive capabilities. Lastly, Scimago Graphica contributed significantly to the geographical perspective of statistical analysis, offering insights that were unmatched in their comprehensiveness. Collectively, these tools not only proved indispensable but also brought their individual strengths to the forefront, contributing uniquely to the overall analytical landscape. Indeed, the Excel program was commonly employed to comprehensively analyze key data points such as the number of published papers, frequency of citations, and matched published documents. It was also employed to synthesize all the information for creating intuitive visual representations (Fig. 2 ) to illustrate the trends in the number of publications, citations, and their corresponding fitting functions during different periods. The use of CiteSpace in the current study was focused on highlighting the most salient occurrence burst on a timeline map and detecting the centrality of romantic love studies (Zhang et al. 2022a ). In order to attain a comprehensive understanding of the progress in romantic love research, an evolutionary analysis was undertaken, utilizing CiteSpace’s burst function. Co-occurrence analysis on pertinent keywords is another valuable method used to gain insights into the relationships and patterns among keywords in a specific research domain. Indeed, the analyses conducted, including the evolutionary analysis and co-occurrence analysis, facilitated an examination of the prevailing themes and trends of romantic love across different generations from a chronological perspective. VOSviewer, a powerful visualization tool, was utilized in the current study to portray the borders of romantic love with varying color clusters. It also facilitated the exploration of the co-occurrence of authors, institutions, and keywords associated with romantic love. The circles of various colors and sizes were used to represent the occurrence frequency of distinct cluster words and different keywords, respectively. The examination of keywords in the current study, augmented by chart analysis, delved into a more profound, comprehensive, and scientific level. Scimago Graphica 1.0.18, a tool designed for visualizing international collaboration, proved highly effective in the current study for facilitating the visualization of international collaboration (He et al. 2022 ). By organically combining the atlas and the world map, researchers were able to intuitively observe differences in the number of publications across various countries and the extent of national collaboration between different regions.

The trend exhibited an upward trajectory, with an estimated 938 publications in 2021, compared to 502 publications in 2013. Notably, the annual publication volume in the field of romantic love had reached its peak in 2021, as indicated by the fitted equation. However, it is worth mentioning that there was a slight decrease in publication numbers during specific periods. From 2017 to 2018, the annual publication count declined from 644 to 608. Similarly, from 2019 to 2020, there was a minor decrease from 872 to 861 publications annually. Additionally, there was a slight decline from 2021 to 2022, with the number of publications decreasing from 938 to 817 annually.

In the previous study, a comprehensive range of factors was considered to provide a thorough and scientifically rigorous atlas analysis of romantic love research. These factors included the annual publication rate, citation counts, H-index, impact factor, centrality, and occurrence/citation burst. An increase in the volume of publications can indicate the growth of a field and provide insights into future research directions (Wang 2016 ). While the number of citations a paper receives may not directly measure an author’s academic influence, it can indicate the recognition of the author’s work by peers worldwide. The “H-index” was a tool for evaluating academic influence, where a researcher with an “H-index” of 10 had 10 papers that had been cited at least 10 times (Wang et al. 2021 ). Since its inception in the 1950s, the impact factor has been widely regarded as a prominent index for ranking scientific literature. It has become an emblem of the prestige and significance of journals and authors in determining the relevance of a journal (Oosthuizen and Fenton 2014 ). For the current study, Journal Citation Reports (JCR) were utilized to calculate impact factors (2021). The centrality of research objects can indeed reflect their impact on the entire field, with greater centrality indicating a greater representation of homologous study content within a subject area. In the study conducted by Gao et al. ( 2021 ), betweenness centrality scores were adjusted to the range of [0, 1]. Specifically, if the betweenness centrality score of a main keyword exceeded 0.10, it was considered to indicate the significance of the study target. In the study conducted by Xu et al. ( 2022 ), the concept of a “burst term” was utilized to refer to an unexpected term that emerged in the research, potentially indicating new directions or orientations discovered during the investigation. The Kleinberg burst detection method, which is implemented in the CiteSpace software, was employed to identify these burst terms and highlight them as indicators of frontier research.

Publication outputs

A total of 6858 records met the search criteria. As depicted in Fig. 2 , the number of annual publications in the field of romantic love has shown a consistent upward trend since 2013. This increase is accompanied by a corresponding surge in citation counts, as indicated by the fitted equation. Citation counts in the field of romantic love have also experienced a significant upsurge since 2013, with an approximate 90-fold increase by 2022. Furthermore, based on current trends and fitting curves, the number of studies in this field is expected to continue rising, with an increasing number of researchers focusing on this topic.

Distribution by journals

The current study retrieved a total of 6858 records from 1251 journals, with ~33.79% of the material published by 20 publications that released more than 50 papers in this field. The top ten journals, accounting for 23.78% (92–400) of all papers published, had an average publication count of 134 papers per journal (see Table 1 ). Among them, the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships (400 publications, IF 2021 = 2.681) had the highest number of papers on romantic love research, followed by Personal Relationships (189 publications, IF 2021 = 1.528), and Personality and Individual Differences (185 publications, IF 2021 = 3.950). Notably, the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology was the most influential professional core journal in this field, boasting the highest impact factor (8.460). Both European and American journals have made significant contributions to this field, with the United States and the United Kingdom accounting for 40% and 50% of the top 10 journal publishing countries/regions, respectively. The impact factors of the top 10 most-published journals ranged from 1.528 to 8.460, with an average of 4.070. It is worth noting that publishing romantic love-related articles in high-impact journals remains challenging.

Distribution by authors and research areas

A staggering 15,088 authors contributed to the total number of papers. In Fig. 3 , the collaborative efforts of the writers were illustrated through a network map, where the connections between the nodes signified their collaborative affiliations. Among the top three clusters, the red cluster included authors Joseph P. Allen, Martine Hebert, and Marie-France Lafontaine, who had converged due to their shared research interests in adolescent dating violence and aggression (Cenat et al. 2022 ; Niolon et al. 2015 ). The blue cluster consisted of authors Frank D. Fincham, James K. Monk, and Ashley K. Randall, who had explored the interplay between relationship satisfaction, stress, and relationship maintenance in romantic relationships (Randall and Bodenmann 2017 ; Vennum et al. 2017 ). The yellow cluster included authors Todd K. Shackelford, William J. Chopik, and Justin K. Mogilski, whose work focused on the topic of polygamy (Moors et al. 2019 ; Sela et al. 2017 ). Martine Hebert, Todd K. Shackelford, Frank D. Fincham, and Emily A. Impett emerged as the cooperative network’s central nodes, underscoring their crucial role in advancing research on romantic love.

The authors’ cooperative network was partitioned into eight distinct clusters.

Table 2 provided a rundown of the most productive authors, with their published works ranging from 28 to 74 publications, averaging 41. The H-index, a yardstick for measuring academic influence, was employed to assess their impact. Notably, Emily A. Impett emerged as the dominant force within the cohort of scholars dedicated to the study of romantic love, having authored the most papers among the group (74 publications, H-index = 38). Additionally, Nickola C. Overall (42 publications, H-index = 19) and Amy Muise (60 publications, H-index = 30) also featured prominently as leading contributors to the field.

Table 3 and Fig. 4 displayed the number of publications in different fields of study related to the topic of romantic love. Notably, publications in the fields of biology, neuroscience, and economics were also included in Table 3 . The humanities were increasingly collaborating on romantic love research. Furthermore, the topic of romantic love was gaining popularity in the fields of psychology and sociology.

The field of psychology, including psychology and psychiatry, was significantly ahead. The field of sociology encompassed various topics in the social sciences, including sociology and social work.

Distribution by country and institution

A total of 6858 publications had been published and disseminated to 104 countries and regions worldwide. In the country analysis, Scimago Graphica had been used to explore the geographic collaboration network of participating nations. The participants of the current study were drawn from 104 different countries spanning Asia, Africa, Europe, North America, and South America, with Europe exhibiting the highest level of overall engagement, underscoring the global trend toward collaboration. The United States and the United Kingdom had demonstrated the greatest degree of cooperation. Notably, China, South Africa, Spain, Italy, France, and other countries with high cooperation densities had formed the most significant multi-center cooperation network in this field (see Fig. 5 ). Figure 6 illustrated international collaboration.

By leveraging Scimago Graphica, it was possible to merge geographical perspectives with national publications and collaborative relationships, providing an intuitive and scientific method to illuminate the various conditions of countries involved in the research on romantic love.

The largest blue cluster was comprised of the United States, China, Switzerland, Turkey, and Norway, demonstrating collaboration across the Americas, Europe, and East Asia.

Table 4 outlined the specifics of the top ten countries in the landscape of romantic love research. The United States topped the list with 4092 publications, followed by Canada with 802 publications, and the United Kingdom with 540 publications. It is noteworthy that the majority of publications were disseminated from high-income countries, aligning with the overall prosperity of those nations. Most papers were disseminated in high-income countries. This trend might have stemmed from the overarching principles governing scientific inquiry, or it could be attributed to authors in these nations having the freedom to engage in research spanning areas not necessarily centered on economic growth. However, within the realm of general well-being, this emerges as a pertinent concern. Primarily, high-income countries historically boasted more affluent reservoirs of research resources, encompassing financial backing, cutting-edge equipment, and a pool of adept talent. This affluence empowered researchers in these nations to embark on a diverse array of investigations, spanning domains intricately tied to economic growth and extending to those delving into broader realms such as general well-being and social development. The discernible divergence in resource allocation likely contributed to the disproportionate prevalence of publications in high-income countries. Secondarily, the scrutiny of whether the romantic love research domain intricately correlates with economic growth warrants profound contemplation. At times, the merit of research doesn’t solely reside in its potential to spur short-term economic growth but extends to its impact on the overarching well-being and sustainable evolution of society. High-income countries, historically oriented toward prioritizing protracted social well-being, manifested a proclivity to endorse research that, while not directly contributing to economic growth, played an indispensable role in the comprehensive development of society. Institutional collaboration was vividly portrayed in Fig. 7 , which consisted of six clusters. A total of 3328 institutions contributed to the 6858 articles on romantic love. Of the top 10 organizations, universities occupied the top spot (as indicated in Table 5 ), with the State University System of Florida (246 publications), the University System of Ohio (248 publications), and the University of California System (365 publications) leading the pack. Notably, nine out of the top 10 institutions hailed from the United States, which was a testament to the country’s exceptional research prowess in this field.

The red cluster denoted collaboration among Florida State University, University of Michigan, University of Washington, and Indiana University; the green cluster represented Ohio State University, University of Basel, and Nanyang Technological University; while the blue cluster embodied York University, the University of Toronto, Northwestern University, and Carleton University. Northwestern University, Florida State University, the University of Minnesota, and the University of Toronto were the major nodes in the cooperative network.

Analysis of references

Reference analysis played a critical role in bibliometric research, as the references with the highest citation bursts formed the foundation of knowledge at the forefront of research (Fitzpatrick 2005 ). In Fig. 8 , the current study presented the most relevant references on romantic love, which had experienced a surge in citations over the past decade. By the end of 2022, Mikulincer and Shaver’s ( 2016 ) articles had seen a significant increase in their citation counts, with the highest spike (14.35) observed in 2016, followed by Wincentak et al.’s ( 2017 ) studies (9.9). These two studies had been widely cited over the years and accurately captured the latest trends in romantic love research.

These references were represented by red and green bars, indicating their frequent and less frequent citation, respectively.

Mikulincer and Shaver’s ( 2016 ) delved into the causes and methods for measuring individual differences in adult attachment, as well as how to modify attachment styles, using several empirical studies. Additionally, they explored the cutting-edge genetics, neurological, and hormonal substrates of attachment, expanding the impact model’s depiction of how the attachment system functioned. In the study, Wincentak et al. ( 2017 ) discussed the prevalence of dating violence among adolescents of different genders using a meta-analysis method, while also examining the potential regulatory effects of age, demographics, and measurement. Research has shown that in adolescent dating violence, the crime rate of women was significantly lower than that of men. Based on the analysis of these articles, current research trends in romantic love included adult attachment and the examination of adolescents’ irrational beliefs about love and the resulting adverse consequences, such as dating violence.

Analysis of keywords

Keyword burst refers to keywords that have shown a sharp increase in frequency over time, enabling the assessment of the current study focus in this area and reflecting the development pattern of future research. The current study extracted the burst terms of various years in the area of romantic love to obtain the burst terms of various years in the area of romantic love (see Fig. 9 ). As we’ve seen, the field had a diverse range of research interests. By the end of 2022, the three words with the highest peak were “same-sex” (2020–2022), “conflict resolution” (2020–2022), and “social relationships” (2020–2022):

Same-sex: in a society that valued heterosexual relationships, same-sex relationships were often met with shame and stigma, leading to additional pressures uniquely linked to their sexual orientation and partnership (Feinstein et al. 2018 ; Rostosky and Riggle 2017 ). Moreover, the online conduct of gay individuals has been demonstrated to have significant implications for their sexual risk behaviors and emotional well-being in romantic relationships (Zhang et al. 2022b ). The development of effective dual interventions has been shown to enhance the health and well-being of same-sex couples and their families. These interventions should also educate parents about the potential negative effects of heteronormative assumptions and attitudes on their children’s positive adolescent development (Pearson and Wilkinson 2013 ).

Conflict resolution: previous research has shown the irony that a person’s favorite individual, such as their romantic partner, is often the very person with whom they engage in destructive behavior during conflicts, making this destructive response one of the most challenging issues in relationships (Alonso-Ferres et al. 2021 ). As a result, it was critical to effectively resolve conflicts in a constructive manner. The emergence of computer-mediated communication (CMC) as a novel conflict resolution approach prompted researchers to explore this matter. Ultimately, they discovered that there were no differences in pain, anger, and conflict resolution levels between face-to-face and CMC discussions (Pollmann et al. 2020 ). Another study focused on neural activity during conflict resolution, revealing that mediation could enhance conflict resolution and was linked to increased activity in the nucleus accumbens, a crucial area of the brain’s reward circuit (Rafi et al. 2020 ). The finding emphasizes the importance of identifying neural mechanisms that could enhance conflict resolution and improve relationship outcomes. By exploring various conflict resolution approaches and associated neural mechanisms, researchers can facilitate a deeper understanding of how to successfully resolve conflicts and enhance relationship satisfaction.

Social relationships: long-term relationships are vital to the mental health of both humans and animals. Positive emotions and experiences, such as romantic or platonic love, play a significant role in the establishment and maintenance of social bonds. With this in mind, researchers integrated brain imaging studies on emotions characterized by social connections to investigate whether and how humans and animals experience social emotions and influences similarly in the context of social relationships (Zablocki-Thomas et al. 2022 ). An ecological and cross-cutting perspective study found that black Americans viewed their partner’s interactions regarding discrimination as an opportunity for their romantic partner to offer support, as revealed in semi-structured interviews (Rice 2023 ). Furthermore, as romantic relationships represent one of the most unique types of social connections, researchers utilized functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) scanning techniques to explore the neurobiological mechanisms of romantic relationships (Eckstein et al. 2023 ), offering valuable insight for the preservation and maintenance of social relationships and interactions.

Over the last 10 years, the most popular keywords were “same-sex” (11.07), “dating relationships” (9.22), and “HIV” (9.05), indicating high demand for these topics in recent years. The keywords with the longest blasting times were “dating relationships” (2014–2017) and “delinquency” (2014–2017). The phrases that were still trending in 2022 were hotspots.

Figure 10 illustrated the relationship between keywords. The connection strength between two nodes was a quantitative measure of their relationship. The most frequently used keyword, “romantic relationship,” was represented by the largest node in Fig. 10 (see Table 6 ). The “romantic relationship” (2036) node had thicker lines than “attachment” (766), “gender” (728), “satisfaction” (664), “behavior” (529), “marriage” (508), “commitment” (419), “adolescents” (417), “associations” (395), and “intimate partner relationship” (336). The nodes had a minimum link strength of 150. The close connections between “romantic relationship” and “marriage,” “commitment,” and “intimate partnership” demonstrated the importance of stable, long-term relationships in maintaining romantic love (Fu et al. 2012 ).

The connection strength between two nodes was a quantitative measure of their relationship. The total link strength of a node was the sum of its link strengths relative to all other nodes (Liao et al. 2018).

Keywords are essential in identifying the central themes and prospective avenues of a publication. By examining the co-occurrence of keywords, one can discern the current trajectory of research and development in a specific field (Zhang et al. 2022c ). In the present investigation, a total of 16,148 keywords were extracted from 6858 articles related to romantic love, with 10,571 being used only once, accounting for 65.46% of the total keywords. Through keyword co-occurrence analysis, six distinct color-coded clusters were identified, comprising attachment, gender, romantic relationships, personality, communication, and dynamics. The red cluster, attachment, delved into the complex relationships among commitment, fulfillment, companionship, and attachment insecurity. To address the diminished satisfaction in partner relationships caused by attachment insecurity, promoting healthy dualistic coping strategies (DCS) was recommended (Peloquin et al. 2022 ). The green cluster, gender, focused on the issues of dating violence victimization experienced by young individuals of different genders, with sexual minorities being particularly vulnerable to bullying (Cosma et al. 2022 ). The blue cluster, romantic connections, primarily examined the link between depressive symptoms and violent intimate partner relationships. Recent studies showed that dating violence and peer victimization were prevalent among young individuals (Smith et al. 2021 ) and that dating aggression was associated with both internalized and externalized psychopathology in young couples (Lantagne and Furman 2021 ). Additionally, the misuse of internet dating may lead to depression (Toplu-Demirtas et al. 2020 ). Apart from the six clusters mentioned, there was a noticeable trend toward integrating research with neuroimaging technology, which might lead to the emergence of new clusters in the realm of romantic love. The interconnectedness of attachment, gender, and romantic relationships was evident in the strong theoretical foundation and widespread attention these clusters received, whereas the clusters of personality, communication, and dynamics were more peripherally related. Due to their significance, future research on romantic love will continue to explore topics such as intimate partner violence, teenage dating violence victimization, attachment insecurity, and sexual abuse, with a focus on the three interconnected clusters of attachment, gender, and romantic relationships. In traditional notions, our understanding of romantic love had primarily consisted of terms such as romantic relationships and intimate commitments. However, practical issues such as misperceptions about love and a lack of regard for partners have gradually shifted the subject matter of research pertaining to romantic love toward dating violence. The research trajectory demonstrates a shift in the focus of romantic love research from a more idealized perspective toward a more realistic one. Finally, Fig. 11 displayed a keyword timeline graph that depicted when the most prevalent keywords first appeared and their evolving importance over time.

This keyword timeline graph was depicted when the most prevalent keywords first appeared and their evolving importance over time.

The current study used advanced bibliometrics and literature data visualization techniques with CiteSpace, VOSviewer, and Web of Science to examine the growth of research publications in the field of romantic love, as well as the main research nations, journals, and emerging trends. The thorough review provided insight into the present status of development and research in this field, while also clarifying the historical path of scholarship and providing clear guidance for future research. Using bibliometric methods, the study investigated romantic love research from 2013 to 2022. The results showed a steady increase in publications on this topic, with a slight decrease noted in 2019, likely due to the detrimental impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on academic research. However, the analysis of current trends indicates a projected increase in research output on romantic love in the coming years.

Romantic love has been a global phenomenon, with Europe and the United States leading in widespread participation and clear concentration. Among the top 10 countries producing research in this field, the United States led with 4092 publications between 2013 and 2022. China, ranking fourth in terms of publications, emerged as the most prolific developing nation (328). However, compared to the United States, China lagged behind in publications and international collaboration. Therefore, China needs to expand its research efforts in this area and broaden its international partnerships. The top ten research institutions, mainly universities, played a vital role in advancing this field. Notably, nine out of ten of these institutions were located in the United States, further highlighting the preeminent position of American academic institutions in this area of study.

In the current study, we have discovered noteworthy findings regarding notable authors in the field of romantic love. The research studies have primarily focused on four distinct perspectives: the Limerence Theory, the Rate of Change in Intimacy Model, the Self-Expansion Model, and the Triangular Theory of Love. These perspectives have proposed four possible sources of romantic passion and assessed empirical evidence for and against each. Among the authors, Emily A. Impett has emerged as the most prolific author (Carswell and Impett 2021 ). Frank D. Fincham, who has the highest H-index, has conducted extensive research on the interplay between mindfulness and idiosyncratic mindfulness in romantic relationships. Notably, his research on adolescent intimate partner violence has received the most citations (Cui et al. 2013 ; Frank and Ross 2017 ; Kimmes et al. 2018 ). Furthermore, we found that an author’s centrality and citation frequency did not always correlate with their number of publications, indicating that various factors had contributed to an author’s academic influence (Zhang et al. 2022a ).

The term “burst term” refers to a term that unexpectedly appears in research and may indicate new directions or a novel perspective derived from research (Xu et al. 2022 ). According to Fig. 8 , the following references experienced a citation burst by the end of 2022: (1) Mikulincer and Shaver ( 2016 ) delved into the causes and measures of individual differences in adult attachment, explored the modifiability of attachment styles, and unveiled cutting-edge research in genetics, neurology, and hormones associated with attachment. They also extended the impact model’s depiction of the attachment system’s operation. (2) Wincentak et al. ( 2017 ) conducted a meta-analysis to investigate the prevalence of dating violence among adolescents of various genders, while also examining the potential impact of age, demographic factors, and measurement methods. Their findings suggested that the rate of perpetration of dating violence was significantly higher among male adolescents than female adolescents. In other words, male adolescents were more likely to engage in dating violence than their female counterparts. This gender difference in dating violence rates highlighted the need for targeted prevention and intervention efforts to address this issue among young people.

CiteSpace displayed keywords in bursts, as shown in Fig. 9 . These data were significant for reference in cutting-edge prediction research. The terms “same-sex,” “conflict resolution,” and “social relationships” might be used frequently in the coming years, indicating potential areas of focus within the domain of romantic love:

Same-sex: same-sex relationships faced unique pressures and stigma in a society that largely valued heterosexual partnerships, leading to feelings of shame and additional stressors based on sexual orientation (Feinstein et al. 2018 ; Rostosky and Riggle 2017 ). Notably, studies have revealed that the online behavior of gay individuals could significantly impact their emotional well-being and sexual risk behaviors within their romantic relationships (Zhang et al. 2022b ). To improve the health and well-being of same-sex couples and their families, effective dual interventions have been developed, including educating parents about the potential harm caused by heteronormative assumptions and attitudes on their children’s adolescent development (Pearson and Wilkinson 2013 ).

Conflict resolution: prior research has revealed the paradox that a person’s beloved partner, such as their significant other, is often the individual with whom they engage in harmful behavior during conflicts. The negative reaction could be one of the most challenging issues in a relationship (Alonso-Ferres et al. 2021 ). Therefore, it is imperative to resolve conflicts in a successful manner. Computer-mediated communication (CMC) has emerged as a novel approach to conflict resolution, and researchers have investigated this matter, concluding that there are no disparities in the levels of pain, anger, and conflict resolution between face-to-face and CMC discussions (Pollmann et al. 2020 ). Another study explored the neural mechanisms during conflict resolution, and researchers discovered that mediation could improve conflict resolution and was linked to elevated activity in the nucleus accumbens, a crucial area in the brain’s reward circuit (Rafi et al. 2020 ).

Social relationships: long-term relationships play a critical role in maintaining the mental health of both humans and animals. Positive emotions and emotional experiences, such as romantic or platonic love, are intricately linked to the formation and sustenance of social bonds. To gain insights into how social emotions manifest in both humans and animals, researchers integrated brain imaging studies of emotions associated with social connections (Zablocki-Thomas et al. 2022 ). From an ecological and cross-cutting perspective, another study found that Black Americans viewed their partner’s interactions around discrimination as an opportunity for their romantic partner to provide support, as revealed in semi-structured interviews (Rice 2023 ). Furthermore, given the unique nature of romantic relationships in social interactions, researchers used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) techniques to investigate the neurobiological mechanisms of such relationships (Eckstein et al. 2023 ), which could serve as a reference for the preservation and cultivation of social relationships.

To our knowledge, our study represented a novel application of quantitative bibliometric tools such as CiteSpace and VOSviewer to analyze the literature on romantic love over the past decade. While our analysis yielded intriguing insights into the research landscape of this field, our study was not without limitations. First and foremost, our sample was limited to articles and reviews available in a single database, and thus, may not have been fully representative of the entire research landscape on this topic. Second, the current study restricted our data collection to English-language publications, and future studies may benefit from including publications in other languages to ensure a more comprehensive analysis. Additionally, including different types of publications, such as conference papers and working papers, might have provided further insights into recent advancements in the field. Furthermore, it could be acknowledged that the analysis in the current study could be expanded to consider the contributions of other scholars and institutions in the field, beyond those captured by our data set. Finally, while the bibliometric tools used in our analysis were objective, our interpretation of the results remained subjective and may have been subject to varying interpretations.

Concluding remarks

Research significance and future development.

The present study’s comprehensive analysis of the literature on romantic love, as well as its reporting of research findings across diverse domains over the past decade, offered a solid groundwork for future research and potential worldwide applications. From 2013 to 2022, a staggering 6858 articles and reviews on romantic love were published globally, indicating a bright future for this field of inquiry. In terms of research potency, the United States led the pack, with the University of California System accounting for the majority of publications in the area of romantic love, and Emily A. Impett ranking as the most prolific contributor. The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships had published the most articles on romantic love research, while the most recent trends in romantic love-related keywords included “same-sex,” “conflict resolution,” and “social relationships.” The current research was predominantly centered around intimate relationships, evolutionary psychology, sexual orientation, and symptoms of depression. The trends elucidated by these findings underscore the holistic and interdisciplinary nature of romantic love within the realms of psychology, sociology, biology, and neuroscience. Subsequent investigations into romantic love hold the promise of a more profound amalgamation of methodologies derived from psychology and neuroscience, thereby illuminating the physiological underpinnings of love and emotional experiences. This prospect entails a meticulous exploration of brain activity, probing how intricate psychological processes intertwine with biology to forge the intricacies of romantic relationships. Furthermore, romantic love research stands poised to cultivate seamless integration and interdisciplinary cooperation across a spectrum of fields in the future, yielding profound ramifications.

Method limitation

The current study, which utilized tools such as CiteSpace and Vosviewer for a quantitative analysis of the literature on romantic love over the past 10 years, is the first of its kind to our knowledge. Our investigation, though producing intriguing results through bibliometric analysis and visualization of related articles, is not without its limitations. Firstly, the samples utilized were limited to a single database (WOS), which may not encompass all relevant publications on the subject. Secondly, the scope of our data collection was limited to articles and reviews in English only, leaving out potential information from other types of publications such as working papers and conference papers. In future studies, a broader consideration of different languages should also be given. Additionally, the neural mechanism and physiological function of romantic love remain an under-researched area with limited empirical evidence to support ongoing controversy.

Data availability

Original data for the current study are available via this link: https://rec.ustc.edu.cn/share/0d874150-b039-11ee-be97-f5a41b2eeb6e .

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Acknowledgements

This research was supported by the Starting Fund for Scientific Research of High-Level Talents at Anhui Agricultural University (rc432206) and the Outstanding Youth Program of Philosophy and Social Sciences in Anhui Province (2022AH030089) to SL.

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Han, Y., Luo, Y., Chen, Z. et al. A decade of love: mapping the landscape of romantic love research through bibliometric analysis. Humanit Soc Sci Commun 11 , 187 (2024). https://doi.org/10.1057/s41599-024-02665-7

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Love and Relationship Satisfaction as a Function of Romantic Relationship Stages

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The strong influence of the components of love in the relationship satisfaction is very described in the scientific literature. The current cross-sectional study evaluated the associations between participants’ love and relationship satisfaction across different phases of a relationship. For this propose, we recruited a sample of 1102 Brazilian participants, including 756 (68.6%) women and 346 (31.4%) men (mean age = 25.52 years, SD = 7.98), from 12 Brazilian states and the Federal District. Participants’ relationship was coded in order of bond levels: 0 - unrequited relationship, 1 - non-established relationship, 2 - dating, 3 - living together or engaged, and 4 - married. A linear regression analysis indicated that the influence of passion on relationship satisfaction is higher, and the influence of commitment is lower, in more advanced phases of one’s relationship. Multilevel regression showed the role of bond, interacting with the dimensions of love on the prediction of relationship satisfaction. The associations between types of love and relationship satisfaction differ across relationship stages. While the influence of passion and intimacy on relationship satisfaction grows across the relationships’ stages, the influence of commitment decreases. This study also suggests that type of relationship can be understood as an ordinal variable, instead of categorical.

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Across the body of literature on romantic relationships, broad consensus exists around the importance of both love and relationship satisfaction to relationship strength and longevity (Cusack et al., 2012 ; de Munck & Kronenfeld, 2016 ; Lemieux & Hale, 2000 ; Sorokowski et al., 2017 ). For example, greater relationship dissatisfaction (or conversely, lower satisfaction) has been associated with increased propensity for extra-marital affairs (Norgren et al., 2004 ), and ultimately, with relationship dissolution (Le et al., 2010 ). In dating relationships, lesser satisfaction over time has been predictive of dissolution, while continued satisfaction often resulted in increased commitment and marriage (Sprecher, 1999 ; Sprecher & Felmlee, 1992 ). Similarly, romantic love has been linked to relationship satisfaction, particularly in long-term committed relationships (Acevedo & Aron, 2009 ; Graham, 2011 ). In cohabiting couples, stronger feelings of love towards one’s partner predict intent to marry that partner (Wiik et al., 2010 ).

Relationship satisfaction has been broadly defined as a subjective assessment of the “goodness” or “badness” of a relationship (Gable & Poore, 2008 ), compared to other’s relations and experiences (Wachelke et al., 2004 ). The construct is frequently used to study different types of romantic relationships (e.g., committed, long-term relationships and uncommitted, short-term relationships) (Hendrick, 1988 ; Le et al., 2010 ), and many such investigations centered around relations between love for a relationship partner and satisfaction within the relationship (Graham, 2011 ; Masuda, 2003 ). Love styles, self-enhancement, personality, interaction patterns, emotional intelligence, partner support, depression, and economic factors are some determinants of relationship satisfaction (Farooqi, 2014 ), which can be classified in behavioral, cognitive, and emotional factors (Fincham & Beach, 2006 ).

Relationship status is important to relationship satisfaction. Married couples tend to be more satisfied with their relationship than unmarried cohabiters or re-partnered couples. More specifically, transitions into marriage are special periods that enhance relationship satisfaction (Lorber et al., 2015 ). Dating couples who report more relationship satisfaction are more likely to enter marriage (Keizer, 2014 ).

Love has been difficult to define operationally (Graham, 2011 ). A common approach to defining love is to perceive it as an attraction to another person (Langeslag et al., 2013 ), comprised of several central elements that varies across the different theories (Fehr & Russell, 1991 ). Sternberg ( 1986 , 1988 ) triangular theory of love, for example, defines love as the conjunction of the components: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Sternberg ( 1986 , 1988 ) original conceptualization has been credited as representing a good taxonomy of components comprising an overarching construct of romantic love (Aron & Westbay, 1996 ; Cassepp-Borges & Pasquali, 2012 ; Sorokowski et al., 2020 ). In his depiction of romantic love, Intimacy has been characterized by feelings of closeness and connection in the relationship. Passion reflected physical and sexual attraction, romance, the desire to be together, and excitement towards a partner. Finally, Commitment referred to the certainty of loving and being loved and the desire to maintain the relationship for the long-term.

The Evolution of Love

Sternberg ( 1986 ) hypothesized that components of love, as measured by the Sternberg ( 1997 ) Triangular Love Scale (STLS), have different courses in the evolution of relationships, with certain trajectories predicting relationship success. That is, intimacy is expected to increase throughout the relationship, with the potential to rise and fall for short periods of time. In contrast, passion often characterizes early phases of relationship development, and may dissipate over time or produce opposite feelings—like hate. Commitment is a dimension that takes longer to emerge in the relationship but tends to remain stable once it emerges. These description were corroborated by Wojciszke ( 2002 ). However, Sternberg ( 1986 ) did not present empirical evidence to substantiate his theoretical expectations.

Across several cross-sectionals analyses, Sternberg ( 1986 ) predictions have found relative support. For example, Acker and Davis ( 1992 ) found that while commitment was indeed higher for married couples, a decline in passion over time was only observed in female participants. In another analysis, all three STLS components were found to start at low levels in the beginning of relationships, and then increase over time, with intimacy and commitment attaining high levels even in short-term relationships (Yela, 1997 ). Furthermore, Yela ( 1997 ) found that, contrary to Sternberg ( 1986 ) expectations, passion developed slowly, not reaching the same levels as the other dimensions of love. Similarly, several studies have confirmed that higher early relationship commitment levels result in higher long-term commitment for participants who remain in their relationships, while initially low commitment levels are associated with relationship instability and dissolution (Dailey et al., 2013 ; Duemmler & Kobak, 2001 ).

The Interplay of Love and Relationship Satisfaction

As expected, several studies point to a strong relation between love (and the constructs of which it is comprised) and relationship satisfaction (Cassepp-Borges & Teodoro, 2009 ; Hendrick & Hendrick, 1989 ; Keizer, 2014 ; Lemieux & Hale, 2000 ; Masuda, 2003 ). For instance, Lemieux and Hale’s work (Lemieux & Hale, 2000 ) demonstrated that the STLS components (i.e., passion, intimacy, and commitment) are predictive of relationship satisfaction. In men, STLS components explained 73% of the total variance in relationship satisfaction scores, where commitment was the best predictor, followed in order by passion and intimacy. In contrast, 87% of the variability in women’s relationship satisfaction scores were predicted by the STLS—though the order of the constructs’ explanatory power was reversed, ranking intimacy, passion, and commitment. Across a metanalysis with 81 studies, Graham et al. ( 2011 ) similarly found a strong, positive association between love and relationship satisfaction. Using STLS components to predict relationship satisfaction in dating undergraduates, Madey and Rodgers ( 2009 ) reported that commitment and intimacy mediated the relation between secure attachment and relationship satisfaction, while passion was directly predictive of relationship satisfaction.

Relationship Stages

Relationship status has been used in multiple studies. Unfortunately, many of these studies use their own categorization of relationship status. For example, the social network Facebook allows the users to choose between 11 options, including “single,” “in a relationship,” “engaged,” or “married”, a system that has been used in studies (Orosz et al., 2015 ). Natividade et al. ( 2022 ) used the categories self, filial, parental, romantic, and friends for love, but a cluster analysis suggested that just three groups (self, romantic/friends, filial/parental) can summarize the love relationships. Many studies treat relationship status as binary, merging the various categories into two: “have a romantic partner” and “singles” (Adamczyk, 2017 ; Burchell & Ward, 2011 ). Treating relationship status as a categorical variable loses the important feature of describing the various phases in the growth of relationships.

Few studies have used relationship status considering the various stages, although some exceptions exist. For example, Guerrero and Andersen ( 1994 ) used six relationship stages: (1) not dating, (2) on a first date, (3) dating casually, (4) dating seriously, (5) marriage-bound, or (6) married. The proposal of Wojciszke ( 2002 ) was to create six stages, based on the levels of intimacy, passion, and commitment: (1) falling in love, (2) romantic beginning, (3) complete love, (4) companionate love, (5) empty love, and (6) dissolution. Other studies (Lemieux & Hale, 2002 ; Yela, 1997 ) have explored change in love and relationship satisfaction across relationship stages. Furthermore, despite the association between love and satisfaction, and the research evidence of phase-specific changes (or trajectories) in both constructs (Karney & Bradbury, 1997 ), phase-specific relations between love and relationship satisfaction have rarely been explored.

The Current Study

In this paper, we are interested in how intimate, committed, and passionate love differentially predict relationship satisfaction as a function of relationship type. Bond order is meant to function as a behavioral indication of increasing commitment to a romantic partner, starting off as low commitment relationships (e.g., casual relationships and dating) and transitioning into more committed relationships (e.g., cohabitation, engagement, and marriage) as partners’ mutual commitment to each other increases. However, the order of relationship progression is not a static rule. In some contexts, increased commitment in dating could result in transitioning to engagement, to cohabitation, or, in some cases, even directly into marriage.

The current research addresses these gaps and offers new insights into the developmental nature of romantic relationships. Along with shifts in the levels of love, the study presents an attempt to capture associations between differential compositions of love and relationship satisfaction across relationship stages. This study will address the issue of how to categorize (or order) the types of relationships. Previous studies showed how the types of love are associated with relationship satisfaction, but researches doing this analysis considering relationship stages are unknown.

This study raised the following hypothesis:

1.5.1 Bond, intimacy, passion, and commitment will have a positive influence in the relationship satisfaction.

1.5.2 The components of love will have different levels of association with relationship satisfaction across relationship stages. Considering that we found no prior study evaluating the trajectories of regression coefficients instead of means, the directions of these changes are exploratory.

Participants

Participants in this study included 1102 individuals from 12 Brazilian states and the Federal District (mean age = 25.52 years, SD = 7.98). Data collection was performed in at least one-third of the units of the Federation of each of the five geographic regions of Brazil. They were recruited by convenience in their colleges, workplaces, or neighborhoods, and did not receive any financial support to participate. The sample included 756 (68.6%) women and 346 (31.4%) men. Participants reported their sexual orientation (heterosexual: n = 1,028, 96.2%), relationship status (single: n = 775, 70.7%; married: n = 221, 20.2%), and whether they had children (no children: n = 867, 79.1%). The sample size was big to obtain sufficient participants in diverse subgroups.

We used the following measures. The descriptive statistics and the reliability analysis of the scales are available in Table 1 .

Demographic Questionnaire

The first instrument was a demographic questionnaire containing questions as sex, sexual orientation, date of birth, relationship length, relationship status, and having children. To answer the question about type of relationship, participants were requested to choose a person who they love(d) to answer the questions and the following scales thinking on him(her). The variable bond was extracted from the variable type of relationship.

Relationship Assessment Scale (RAS)

Participants completed an adapted version of the RAS (Hendrick, 1988 ), modified for Brazilian participants (Cassepp-Borges & Pasquali, 2011 ). The scale has 7 items (e.g., How good is your relationship compared to most?) measured in a Likert scale ranging from 1 to 7.

Sternberg’s Triangular Love Scale, Reduced (STLS-R)

Participants completed a reduced version (Cassepp-Borges & Pasquali, 2014 ) of the STLS (Sternberg, 1997 ), adapted for Brazilian participants from the complete, original version (Cassepp-Borges & Pasquali, 2012 ; Cassepp-Borges & Teodoro, 2007 ). The reduced version is composed of 20 items, extracted from 45 items of the complete STLS, evaluating intimacy (e.g., I communicate well with ___________., 7 items), passion (e.g., I especially like physical contact with ______., 6 items), and commitment (e.g., I cannot imagine ending my relationship with _________., 7 items). All the items have a blank space, that should be filled with the name of the beloved person of the respondent. Participants answered using a Likert scale with nine points, varying from 1 (“not at all”) to 9 (“Extremely”).

Data Analysis

Participants were asked to mark the option that represented their relationship type (see Table 2 ). Participants who answered the questionnaire based on other types of relationships (e.g., the beloved was a parent or sibling, n = 447) were excluded from further analyses, as these relationships were not the focus of this study.

The variable relationship type considered the following categories: (a) unrequited love, with low (or even null) romantic bond with the beloved, (b) non-established relationships (e.g., new or yet-to-be defined relationship), (c) dating, (d) cohabitation (unmarried romantic), (e) engagement, and (f) marriage. However, it is reasonable to group the categories cohabitation and engagement together, as representing a similar level of bond. Merging these two groups, we created an ordinal variable “bond,” growing from unrequited love to marriage. The inclusion of a group with unrequited love can be questioned, as this relationship stage does not necessarily indicate the beginning of a relationship. Unrequited relationship is a kind of love with the minimum possible level of bond. It is important to keep this group on the sample as a starting point. Love does not need a relationship to exist or even to be strong. The same argument is plausible to all categories (i.e., dating does not mean a beginning of an engagement, for example). Considering all types of relationships, we argued that an ordinal variable seems reasonable to capture the growth in bond. While this order does not necessarily represent the participants’ perceptions of their relationship bond, nor account for differences in relationship development which may be experienced by some participants, this is a useful approach to analyze the various groups, and has been previously used in past research (e.g., Cassepp-Borges & Teodoro, 2009 ). We also decided to use relationships’ stages instead of relationship length because of the weak correlations between relationship length with love ( r = .103, p < 0,001, R 2 = .01) or relationship satisfaction ( r = .176, p < 0,001, R 2 = .03).

Linear Regression

First, we performed one multiple linear regression for each of the five bond level groups, with relationship satisfaction as the dependent variable and love components as the independent variables in IBM SPSS Statistics 25®, considering the types of relationships. Second, we used a multilevel regression. Here, we also considered relationship satisfaction as the dependent variable but participants were now grouped by type of relationship. Intimacy, passion, commitment, sex, and bond level were the independent variables. Multilevel regression was conducted using the package lme4 (Bates et al., 2015 ) in R Studio.

This research was approved by the ethics committee of the Universidade de Brasília, Brazil, under the title “Amor: da adaptação de testes existentes à criação de um novo instrumento de mensuração.” After completing a brief demographic questionnaire, participants were instructed to select one person they love(d) and answer all the survey questions thinking about that person. The questionnaires were administered using pen and paper. The type of loved person was used to group participants into relationship categories. This resulted in the cross-sectional categorization of participants’ ratings of love and relationship satisfaction for relationship types that should represent increasing levels of relationship establishment, investment, and commitment. Participant choices of beloved person (by type) are detailed in Table 2 .

We examined the association of intimacy, passion, and commitment with relationship satisfaction using linear regression, separately for each group. To evaluate for potential differences in the relation between love subscales and relationship satisfaction as a function of bond, we carried out the analyses as a function of the bond-magnitude in the relationship. We used correlations to examine if the regression coefficients of the various components of love predicting relationship satisfaction have similar trajectories. The coefficient for intimacy was highly related to relationship satisfaction during the entire relationship cycle, with a tendency to increase across the stages. Passion had the smallest relation with relationship satisfaction, but the trajectory of the coefficient for intimacy is similar ( r = .772, p = .126, R 2 = .596) to passion coefficient. On the other hand, the regression coefficient for commitment decreases across the stages, whereas the coefficients for passion and intimacy increase. The correlations of commitment regression coefficients with passion ( r = −.938, p = .126, R 2 = .880) and intimacy ( r = −.610, p = .275, R 2 = .372) coefficients were negative. The correlations of bond order and the coefficients for passion ( r = .975, p = .005, R 2 = .951) and commitment ( r = −.945, p = .015, R 2 = .893) were strong and significant, but in opposite ways. Bond order had a positive non-significant correlation with the coefficient for intimacy ( r = .743, p = .151, R 2 = .552). These effects are strong, suggesting a clear tendency across the stages. Surprisingly, besides the small number of groups (five), some correlations are significant (Fig. 1 ).

Cross-sectional evolution of the contribution of the 3 components of love in the explanation of relationship satisfaction. Note: The values in Fig. 1 should not be interpreted as means. They represent standardized beta values of independent variables for each group in the regression in which relationship satisfaction is the dependent variable. Error bars represents 95% confidence interval

Recognizing that the association between love and relationship satisfaction can vary between different groups, we performed a multilevel model. Because of the listwise exclusion method, this analysis had 1093 participants nested in six groups. The intra-class correlation (ICC) was .34, estimating that approximately 34% of the variability in relationship satisfaction was related to the variation between groups. This value justifies the need of the multilevel modeling, as regular linear regression does not consider these group effects.

Table 3 presents the results from the multilevel regression. All the variables were centered based on their respective means. For level 2 (group) variables, bond represents the level of bond attributed to the type of relationship (unrequited relationship = 0, non-established relationship = 1, dating = 2, living together or engaged = 3, married = 4). This variable is the same as type of relationship, except for merging the groups living together and engaged. Intimacy, passion, commitment, and sex values were measured at the individual level.

The results of this model indicate that the effects of the group variables are high, whereas the random effects are small. Considering the three dimensions of love (Sternberg, 1986 ) on average, the biggest change in the outcome variable is commitment, followed by intimacy. Passion had a negative and non-significant relation with relationship satisfaction. This unexpected effect is probably a suppression, considering the multicollinearity between the predictors and the inclusion of unrequited love participants. The effect for sex was significant. According to our results, women had an average of .11 points below the intercept in relationship satisfaction, whereas men had an average of .11 points above the intercept. The interaction of passion and bond, however, had a positive and significant effect. The interaction between bond and commitment was also significant, but with a negative sign. Finally, the variable bond had a significant effect that increased relationship satisfaction.

As hypothesized, we found correlations between the love factors. Several studies support the hypothesis that the STLS factors correlate with each other and with satisfaction relationship (Cassepp-Borges & Teodoro, 2007 , 2009 ; Hendrick & Hendrick, 1989 ; Lemieux & Hale, 2000 ; Masuda, 2003 ). The correlation between love and relationship satisfaction found in this paper is also an evidence of convergent validity of both scales (Urbina, 2004 ).

Love is a good predictor of relationship satisfaction. Our results showed high values of predicted variance, indicating the strength of this association. For example, love predicted more than 50% of the variance in relationship satisfaction in established relationships, and more than 30% in any other sample, like unrequited relationships or hookups.

Lemieux and Hale ( 2000 ) also sought to explain the association between relationship satisfaction (measured by RAS) and the three dimensions of love, but with a sample of participants with an average of 15.1 years of marriage. The dimensions appeared in the order commitment, passion, and intimacy for men, and intimacy, passion, and commitment for women. The study also reported higher levels of variance explained (73% for men and 87% for women), compared with the present study. In our study, the role of passion was suppressed by the presence of participants in unrequited relationships. However, we reinforced the strong role of love in the explanation of relationship satisfaction.

The results from multilevel modeling are consistent with the regression coefficients levels across relationship type points (Fig. 1 ). The positive interaction between bond and passion, the negative interaction of bond and commitment, and the non-significant effect of the interaction of bond and intimacy fit with the apparently linear trajectory of these three dimensions. All the three dimensions of love are important and have their particular contribution to relationship satisfaction. However, we should consider that passion interacts with bond, so the association of passion and relationship satisfaction depends on bond. Higher levels of passion in a non-stable relationship can lead to dissatisfaction. It is also important to note that the higher levels of satisfaction for males, relative to females, is congruent with a meta-analytic study (Jackson et al., 2014 ).

Furthermore, similar to what was found by Cassepp-Borges and Teodoro ( 2009 ), passion was negatively related to relationship satisfaction when considering the entire sample and subsamples of non-stablished relationship or forms of love that do not involve a reciprocal relation with a romantic partner. However, the association was positive when considering individuals involved in a romantic relationship (dating or higher level of bond). The negative sign of the passion coefficients in different groups is likely a suppression effect, caused by multicollinearity (Abbad & Torres, 2002 ). The probability of finding a suppression effect is higher when the correlation among the predictor increase (Friedman & Wall, 2005 ). This effect likely happened because the three dimensions of love were highly correlated. However, it is important to keep the three components of love in the model, in order to understand the relation of triangular theory of love (Sternberg, 1986 ) and relationship satisfaction. Moreover, the three components had positive regression coefficients when considering established relationships. Passion can lead to dissatisfaction in non-established relationships. One clue to explain the importance of passion can be found in the work of Madey and Rodgers ( 2009 ). In a sample of students involved in a romantic relationship, while intimacy and the commitment mediated the relation between attachment and relationship satisfaction, passion and secure attachment had direct paths to relationship satisfaction.

In spite of the relation between bond and commitment, the difference of these two variables is that bond is an observed behavior, while commitment is a perception of the relationship. Bond depends on the decision of the two partners, whereas commitment is associated just with the participants’ thoughts. Understanding the difference between both variables is crucial to understand why the commitment regression coefficients (a relation between cognitive commitment and relationship satisfaction) decrease while bond levels (a behavior) increase. The decrease in the association between commitment and relationship satisfaction as a function of the increase in the commitment in the relationship is intriguing. A plausible explanation for this is that, if the commitment is present in a verbal contract (in the case of dating), in an alliance (in the case of engagement), or in a document (in the case of the marriage), the importance of the commitment in the feelings of the partners decreases. Of course, we are not affirming that commitment is not important (the correlation between commitment and relationship satisfaction is still higher than .6 for all groups in an established relationship). Our argument is that, when the commitment in the relationship is established, or reached a ceiling, adding passion can increase relationship satisfaction. The importance of commitment is shared with passion. On the other hand, in the beginning of the relationship, when the commitment is lower, thinking about this would increase satisfaction.

The importance of intimacy over the other two dimensions had been constantly replicated in previous studies (Dela Coleta, 1991 ; Hassebrauck & Fehr, 2002 ; Madey & Rodgers, 2009 ). For example, Gottman and Silver ( 1994 ) created a theory in which he previews the success or the failure of a marriage with accuracy based on criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. All of these, called four horsemen of the apocalypse, are features related to intimacy. This dimension deserves special consideration in all phases of relationship development. The causes for success in the relationship of the sample, however, may be strongly related to the three dimensions of love (Sternberg, 1986 , 1988 ).

As expected based on the literature (Cassepp-Borges & Teodoro, 2009 ; Willi, 1997 ), the levels of love were higher when bond was higher. On the other hand, it is important to note the cross-sectional nature of our data: dissatisfied couples will finish their relationship in prior stages, decreasing the means of satisfaction in the initial cohorts (Berscheid, 2010 ). This effect was expected for the means, but we also examined changes in the regression coefficients across relationship phases. Our methodology is limited to address this question considering the regression coefficients. Other possible limitation of the cross-sectional design includes not being able to examine whether the scales kept the same properties in different groups. The RAS, for example, may be more reliable for well-stablished relationships (Graham et al., 2011 ). Our sample is relatively young, and the results cannot assess long-term marriages or marriages with children (Kowal et al., 2021 ). The sample is predominantly comprised of college students, with a significant proportion being females. These demographic aspects should be taken into consideration when extrapolating the findings to a broader population. The convenience procedure for sample recruiting and the use of sectional data instead of longitudinal data are limitations of these findings.

Implications and Applications

In this study, we attempted to separate relationship types when studying the association between love and relationship satisfaction. Despite being treated in the literature as a categorical variable, we conceptualized relationship type as an ordinal variable representing the degree of bonding and commitment they tend to involve. Although seemingly reasonable, this solution has the limitations of converting a categorical variable into an ordinal one, which is impossible (Pasquali, 2004 ). To be more precise, however, in this study we did not convert a categorical variable into an ordinal, but rather we recognized that we can extract more information from the variable type of relationship if we perceive an ordinal property. This was important to draw conclusions about a potential sequence underlying the different phases of one’s relationship. These categories are broader but similar to those used (“dating,” “living with,” and “married”) by Davies and Shackelford ( 2015 ). Obviously, our cross-sectional design is more limited than a longitudinal design. However, conducting a longitudinal study with the variable type of relationship is hard because of the nature of the variable, and there are not many studies doing so, although some do exist, such as Sprecher and Felmlee ( 1992 ) or Long et al. ( 1999 ).

This study helped to understand the importance of components of love on relationship satisfaction. In sum, our results indicate that relationship satisfaction depends on the stage of relationship. Some studies considered just groups of people involved in a relationship (Gable & Poore, 2008 ; Wachelke et al., 2007 ), or just a specific group like marriage (Contreras et al., 1996 ; Lemieux & Hale, 2000 ; Neff & Karney, 2005 ; Norgren et al., 2004 ; Willi, 1997 ). Other studies divided the sample into groups of different types of relationship (Cassepp-Borges & Teodoro, 2009 ; Hassebrauck & Fehr, 2002 ; Lemieux & Hale, 2002 ). We considered that it is important to research aspects of love and relationship satisfaction in prior stages than dating. Then, love can be examined in every stage. The Triangular Theory of Love (Sternberg, 1986 , 1988 ) should fit to all kinds of love (Sternberg, 1997 ). As each person live their relationship in their own way and their own time, measuring the stage of the relationship instead of the length of the relationship seems a reasonable and insightful approach to understand relationships. We encourage future researches to consider the potential ordinal property of relationship stages.

Data Availability

The database is available under request to the first author.

Code Availability

The code is available under request to the first author.

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This manuscript presents the influence of love on relationship satisfaction considering relationship stages. This manuscript also presents an innovative way to consider the variable type of relationship, understanding it as an ordinal variable. This method allowed to verify how the influence of the components of love was developed across the relationships stages and can be applied to future researches.

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Cassepp-Borges, V., Gonzales, J.E., Frazier, A. et al. Love and Relationship Satisfaction as a Function of Romantic Relationship Stages. Trends in Psychol. (2023). https://doi.org/10.1007/s43076-023-00333-4

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HYPOTHESIS AND THEORY article

Towards a comprehensive theory of love: the quadruple theory.

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Scholars across an array of disciplines including social psychologists have been trying to explain the meaning of love for over a century but its polysemous nature has made it difficult to fully understand. In this paper, a quadruple framework of attraction, resonance or connection, trust, and respect are proposed to explain the meaning of love. The framework is used to explain how love grows and dies and to describe brand love, romantic love, and parental love. The synergistic relationship between the factors and how their variations modulate the intensity or levels of love are discussed.

Introduction

Scholars across an array of disciplines have tried to define the meaning and nature of love with some success but questions remain. Indeed, it has been described as a propensity to think, feel, and behave positively toward another ( Hendrick and Hendrick, 1986 ). However, the application of this approach has been unsuccessful in all forms of love ( Berscheid, 2010 ). Some social psychologists have tried to define love using psychometric techniques. Robert Sternberg Triangular Theory of Love and Clyde and Susan Hendrick’s Love Attitudes Scale (LAS) are notable attempts to employ the psychometric approach ( Hendrick and Hendrick, 1986 ; Sternberg, 1986 ). However, data analysis from the administration of the LAS, Sternberg’s scale and the Passionate Love Scale by Hatfield and Sprecher’s (1986) found a poor association with all forms of love ( Hendrick and Hendrick, 1989 ). Other studies have found a poor correlation between these and other love scales with different types of love ( Whitley, 1993 ; Sternberg, 1997 ; Masuda, 2003 ; Graham and Christiansen, 2009 ).

In recent years, the neuropsychological approach to study the nature of love has gained prominence. Research has compared the brain activity of people who were deeply in love while viewing a picture of their partner and friends of the same age using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) and concluded that there is a specialized network of the brain involved in love ( Bartels and Zeki, 2000 ). Indeed, several lines of investigation using fMRI have described a specialized area of the brain mediating maternal love ( Noriuchi et al., 2008 ; Noriuchi and Kikuchi, 2013 ) and, fMRI studies have implicated multiple brain systems particularly the reward system in romantic love ( Aron et al., 2005 ; Fisher et al., 2005 , 2010 ; Beauregard et al., 2009 ). Brain regions including ventral tegmental area, anterior insula, ventral striatum, and supplementary motor area have been demonstrated to mediate social and material reward anticipation ( Gu et al., 2019 ). Although brain imaging provides a unique insight into the nature of love, making sense of the psychological significance or inference of fMRI data is problematic ( Cacioppo et al., 2003 ).

Also, there has been growing interests in the neurobiology of love. Indeed, evidence suggests possible roles for oxytocin, vasopressin, dopamine, serotonin, testosterone, cortisol, morphinergic system, and nerve growth factor in love and attachment ( Esch and Stefano, 2005 ; De Boer et al., 2012 ; Seshadri, 2016 ; Feldman, 2017 ). However, in many cases, definite proof is still lacking and the few imaging studies on love are limited by selection bias on the duration of a love affair, gender and cultural differences ( De Boer et al., 2012 ).

So, while advances have been made in unraveling the meaning of love, questions remain and a framework that can be employed to understand love in all its forms remains to be developed or proposed. The objective of this article is to propose a novel framework that can be applied to all forms of love.

Theoretical Background and Hypothesis Development (The AAC Model)

In the past few decades, the psychological literature has defined and described different forms of love and from these descriptions, the role of attraction, attachment-commitment, and caregiving (AAC), appears to be consistent in all forms of love.

Attraction theory is one of the first approaches to explain the phenomenon of love and several studies and scholarly works have described the importance of attraction in different forms of love ( Byrne and Griffitt, 1973 ; Berscheid and Hatfield, 1978 ; Fisher et al., 2006 ; Braxton-Davis, 2010 ; Grant-Jacob, 2016 ). Attraction has been described as an evolutionary adaptation of humans for mating, reproduction, and parenting ( Fisher et al., 2002a , 2006 ).

The role of attachment in love has also been extensively investigated. Attachment bonds have been described as a critical feature of mammals including parent-infant, pair-bonds, conspecifics, and peers ( Feldman, 2017 ). Indeed, neural networks including the interaction of oxytocin and dopamine in the striatum have been implicated in attachment bonds ( Feldman, 2017 ). The key features of attachment include proximity maintenance, safety and security, and separation distress ( Berscheid, 2010 ). Multiple lines of research have proposed that humans possess an innate behavioral system of attachment that is essential in love ( Harlow, 1958 ; Bowlby, 1977 , 1988 , 1989 ; Ainsworth, 1985 ; Hazan and Shaver, 1987 ; Bretherton, 1992 ; Carter, 1998 ; Burkett and Young, 2012 ). Attachment is essential to commitment and satisfaction in a relationship ( Péloquin et al., 2013 ) and commitment leads to greater intimacy ( Sternberg, 1986 ).

Also, several lines of evidence have described the role of caregiving in love. It has been proposed that humans possess an inborn caregiving system that complements their attachment system ( Bowlby, 1973 ; Ainsworth, 1985 ). Indeed, several studies have used caregiving scale and compassionate love scale, to describe the role of caring, concern, tenderness, supporting, helping, and understanding the other(s), in love and relationships ( Kunce and Shaver, 1994 ; Sprecher and Fehr, 2005 ). Mutual communally responsive relationships in which partners attend to one another’s needs and welfare with the expectation that the other will return the favor when their own needs arise ( Clark and Mills, 1979 ; Clark and Monin, 2006 ), have been described as key in all types of relationships including friendship, family, and romantic and compassionate love ( Berscheid, 2010 ).

Attachment and caregiving reinforce each other in relationships. Evidence suggests that sustained caregiving is frequently accompanied by the growth of familiarity between the caregiver and the receiver ( Bowlby, 1989 , p. 115) strengthening attachment ( Berscheid, 2010 ). Several studies have proposed that attachment has a positive influence on caregiving behavior in love and relationships ( Carnelley et al., 1996 ; Collins and Feeney, 2000 ; Feeney and Collins, 2001 ; Mikulincer, 2006 ; Canterberry and Gillath, 2012 ; Péloquin et al., 2013 ).

The AAC model can be seen across the literature on love. Robert Sternberg triangular theory of love which proposes that love has three components —intimacy, passion, and commitment ( Sternberg, 1986 ), essentially applies the AAC model. Passion, a key factor in his theory, is associated with attraction ( Berscheid and Hatfield, 1978 ), and many passionate behaviors including increased energy, focused attention, intrusive thinking, obsessive following, possessive mate guarding, goal-oriented behaviors and motivation to win and keep a preferred mating partner ( Fisher et al., 2002b , 2006 ; Fisher, 2005 ). Also, evidence indicates that attachment is central to intimacy, another pillar of the triangular theory ( Morris, 1982 ; Feeney and Noller, 1990 ; Oleson, 1996 ; Grabill and Kent, 2000 ). Commitment, the last pillar of the triangular theory, is based on interdependence and social exchange theories ( Stanley et al., 2010 ), which is connected to mutual caregiving and secure attachment.

Hendrick and Hendrick’s (1986) , Love Attitudes Scale (LAS) which measures six types of love ( Hendrick and Hendrick, 1986 ) is at its core based on the AAC model. Similarly, numerous works on love ( Rubin, 1970 ; Hatfield and Sprecher, 1986 ; Fehr, 1994 ; Grote and Frieze, 1994 ), have applied one or all of the factors in the ACC model. Berscheid (2010) , proposed four candidates for a temporal model of love including companionate love, romantic love, and compassionate love and adult attachment love. As described, these different types of love (romantic, companionate, compassionate, and attachment) all apply at least one or all of the factors in the AAC model.

New Theory (The Quadruple Framework)

The AAC model can be fully captured by four fundamental factors; attraction, connection or resonance, trust, and respect, providing a novel framework that could explain love in all its forms. Table 1 shows the core factors of love, and the four factors derived from them.

Table 1. Factors of love.

Evidence suggests that both attachment and attraction play a role in obsession or passion observed in love ( Fisher et al., 2005 ; Honari and Saremi, 2015 ). Attraction is influenced by the value or appeal perceived from a relationship and this affects commitment ( Rusbult, 1980 ).

Connection or Resonance

Connection is key to commitment, caregiving, and intimacy. It creates a sense of oneness in relationships and it is strengthened by proximity, familiarity, similarity, and positive shared experiences ( Sullivan et al., 2011 ; Beckes et al., 2013 ). Homogeneity or similarity has been observed to increase social capital and engagement among people ( Costa and Kahn, 2003a , b ), and it has been described as foundational to human relationships ( Tobore, 2018 , pp. 6–13). Research indicates that similarity plays a key role in attachment and companionship as people are more likely to form long-lasting and successful relationships with those who are more similar to themselves ( Burgess and Wallin, 1954 ; Byrne, 1971 ; Berscheid and Reis, 1998 ; Lutz-Zois et al., 2006 ). Proximity plays a key role in caregiving as people are more likely to show compassion to those they are familiar with or those closest to them ( Sprecher and Fehr, 2005 ). Similarity and proximity contribute to feelings of familiarity ( Berscheid, 2010 ). Also, caregiving and empathy are positively related to emotional interdependence ( Hatfield et al., 1994 ).

Trust is crucial for love ( Esch and Stefano, 2005 ) and it plays an important role in relationship intimacy and caregiving ( Rempel and Holmes, 1985 ; Wilson et al., 1998 ; Salazar, 2015 ), as well as attachment ( Rodriguez et al., 2015 ; Bidmon, 2017 ). Familiarity is a sine qua non for trust ( Luhmann, 1979 ), and trust is key to relationship satisfaction ( Simpson, 2007 ; Fitzpatrick and Lafontaine, 2017 ).

Respect is cross-cultural and universal ( Frei and Shaver, 2002 ; Hendrick et al., 2010 ) and has been described as fundamental in love ( Hendrick et al., 2011 ). It plays a cardinal role in interpersonal relations at all levels ( Hendrick et al., 2010 ). Indeed, it is essential in relationship commitment and satisfaction ( Hendrick and Hendrick, 2006 ) and relationship intimacy and attachment ( Alper, 2004 ; Hendrick et al., 2011 ).

Synergetic Interactions of the Four Factors

Connection and attraction.

Similarity, proximity, and familiarity are all important in connection because they promote attachment and a sense of oneness in a relationship ( Sullivan et al., 2011 ; Beckes et al., 2013 ). Research indicates that proximity ( Batool and Malik, 2010 ) and familiarity positively influence attraction ( Norton et al., 2015 ) and several lines of evidence suggests that people are attracted to those similar to themselves ( Sykes et al., 1976 ; Wetzel and Insko, 1982 ; Montoya et al., 2008 ; Batool and Malik, 2010 ; Collisson and Howell, 2014 ). Also, attraction mediates similarity and familiarity ( Moreland and Zajonc, 1982 ; Elbedweihy et al., 2016 ).

Respect and Trust

Evidence suggests that respect promotes trust ( Ali et al., 2012 ).

Connection, Respect, Trust, and Attraction

Trust affects attraction ( Singh et al., 2015 ). Trust and respect can mediate attitude similarity and promote attraction ( Singh et al., 2016 ).

So, although these factors can operate independently, evidence suggests that the weakening of one factor could negatively affect the others and the status of love. Similarly, the strengthening of one factor positively modulates the others and the status of love.

Relationships are dynamic and change as events and conditions in the environment change ( Berscheid, 2010 ). Love is associated with causal conditions that respond to these changes favorably or negatively ( Berscheid, 2010 ). In other words, as conditions change, and these factors become present, love is achieved and if they die, it fades. Figure 1 below explains how love grows and dies. Point C in the figure explains the variations in the intensity or levels of love and this variation is influenced by the strength of each factor. The stronger the presence of all factors, the higher the intensity and the lower, the weaker the intensity of love. The concept of non-love is similar to the “non-love” described in Sternberg’s triangular theory of love in which all components of love are absent ( Sternberg, 1986 ).

Figure 1. Description: (A) Presence of love (all factors are present). (B) Absence of love (state of non-love or state where all factors are latent or dormant). (C) Different levels of love due to variations in the four factors. (D) Movement from non-love toward love (developmental stage: at least one but not all four factors are present). (E) Movement away from love toward non-love (decline stage: at least one or more of the four factors are absent).

Application of the Quadruple Framework on Romantic, Brand and Parental Love

Romantic, parental and brand love have been chosen to demonstrate the role of these factors and their interactions in love because there is significant existing literature on them. However, they can be applied to understand love in all its forms.

Romantic Love

Attraction and romantic love.

Attraction involves both physical and personality traits ( Braxton-Davis, 2010 ; Karandashev and Fata, 2014 ). To this end, attraction could be subdivided into sexual or material and non-sexual or non-material attraction. Sexual or material attraction includes physical attributes such as beauty, aesthetics, appeal, wealth, etc. In contrast, non-sexual or non-material attraction includes characteristics such as personality, social status, power, humor, intelligence, character, confidence, temperament, honesty, good quality, kindness, integrity, etc. Both types of attraction are not mutually exclusive.

Romantic love has been described as a advanced form of human attraction system ( Fisher et al., 2005 ) and it fits with the passion component of Sternberg’s triangular theory of love which he described as the quickest to recruit ( Sternberg, 1986 ). Indeed, research indicates that physical attractiveness and sensual feelings are essential in romantic love and dating ( Brislin and Lewis, 1968 ; Regan and Berscheid, 1999 ; Luo and Zhang, 2009 ; Braxton-Davis, 2010 ; Ha et al., 2010 ; Guéguen and Lamy, 2012 ) and sexual attraction often provides the motivational spark that kickstarts a romantic relationship ( Gillath et al., 2008 ). Behavioral data suggest that love and sex drive follow complementary pathways in the brain ( Seshadri, 2016 ). Indeed, the neuroendocrine system for sexual attraction and attachment appears to work synergistically motivating individuals to both prefer a specific mating partner and to form an attachment to that partner ( Seshadri, 2016 ). Sex promotes the activity of hormones involved in love including arginine vasopressin in the ventral pallidum, oxytocin in the nucleus accumbens and stimulates dopamine release which consequently motivates preference for a partner and strengthens attachment or pair-bonding ( Seshadri, 2016 ).

Also, romantic love is associated with non-material attraction. Research indicates that many people are attracted to their romantic partner because of personality traits like generosity, kindness, warmth, humor, helpfulness, openness to new ideas ( Giles, 2015 , pp. 168–169). Findings from a research study on preferences in human mate selection indicate that personality traits such as kindness/considerate and understanding, exciting, and intelligent are strongly preferred in a potential mate ( Buss and Barnes, 1986 ). Indeed, character and physical attractiveness have been found to contribute jointly and significantly to romantic attraction ( McKelvie and Matthews, 1976 ).

Attraction is key to commitment in a romantic relationship ( Rusbult, 1980 ), indicating that without attraction a romantic relationship could lose its luster. Also, romantic attraction is weakened or declines as the reason for its presence declines or deteriorates. If attraction is sexual or due to material characteristics, then aging or any accident that compromises physical beauty would result in its decline ( Braxton-Davis, 2010 ). Loss of fortune or social status could also weaken attraction and increase tension in a relationship. Indeed, tensions about money increase marital conflicts ( Papp et al., 2009 ; Dew and Dakin, 2011 ) and predicted subsequent divorce ( Amato and Rogers, 1997 ).

Connection and Romantic Love

Connection or resonance fits with the intimacy, and commitment components of Sternberg’s triangular theory of love ( Sternberg, 1986 ). Connection in romantic love involves intimacy, friendship or companionship and caregiving and it is strengthened by novelty, proximity, communication, positive shared experiences, familiarity, and similarity. It is what creates a sense of oneness between romantic partners and it is expressed in the form of proximity seeking and maintenance, concern, and compassion ( Neto, 2012 ). Evidence suggests that deeper levels of emotional involvement or attachment increase commitment and cognitive interdependence or tendency to think about the relationship in a pluralistic manner, as reflected in the use of plural pronouns to describe oneself, romantic partner and relationship ( Agnew et al., 1998 ).

Research indicates that both sexual attraction and friendship are necessary for romantic love ( Meyers and Berscheid, 1997 ; Gillath et al., 2008 ; Berscheid, 2010 ), indicating that connection which is essential for companionship plays a key role in romantic love. A study on college students by Hendrick and Hendrick (1993) found that a significant number of the students described their romantic partner as their closest friend ( Hendrick and Hendrick, 1993 ), reinforcing the importance of friendship or companionship in romantic love.

Similarity along the lines of values, goals, religion, nationality, career, culture, socioeconomic status, ethnicity, language, etc. is essential in liking and friendship in romantic love ( Berscheid and Reis, 1998 ). Research indicates that a partner who shared similar values and interests were more likely to experience stronger love ( Jin et al., 2017 ). Indeed, the more satisfied individuals were with their friendships the more similar they perceived their friends to be to themselves ( Morry, 2005 ). Also, similarity influences perceptions of familiarity ( Moreland and Zajonc, 1982 ), and familiarity plays a role in the formation of attachment and connectedness because it signals safety and security ( Bowlby, 1977 ). Moreover, similarity and familiarity affect caregiving. Sprecher and Fehr (2005) , found compassion or caregiving were lower for strangers, and greatest for dating and marital relationships, indicating that similarity and familiarity enhance intimacy and positively influences caregiving ( Sprecher and Fehr, 2005 ).

Proximity through increased exposure is known to promote liking ( Saegert et al., 1973 ), familiarity and emotional connectedness ( Sternberg, 1986 ; Berscheid, 2010 ). Exposure through fun times and direct and frequent communication is essential to maintaining and strengthening attachment and connectedness ( Sternberg and Grajek, 1984 ). In Sternberg’s triangular theory, effective communication is described as essential and affects the intimacy component of a relationship ( Sternberg, 1986 ). Indeed, intimacy grows from a combination of mutual self-disclosure and interactions mediated by positive partner responsiveness ( Laurenceau et al., 1998 , 2005 ; Manne et al., 2004 ), indicating that positive feedback and fun times together strengthens connection.

Also, sexual activity is an important component of the reward system that reinforces emotional attachment ( Seshadri, 2016 ), indicating that sexual activity may increase emotional connectedness and intimacy. Over time in most relationships, predictability grows, and sexual satisfaction becomes readily available. This weakens the erotic and emotional experience associated with romantic love ( Berscheid, 2010 ). Research shows that a reduction in novelty due to the monotony of being with the same person for a long period is the reason for this decline in sexual attraction ( Freud and Rieff, 1997 , p. 57; Sprecher et al., 2006 , p. 467). According to Sternberg (1986) , the worst enemy of the intimacy component of love is stagnation. He explained that too much predictability can erode the level of intimacy in a close relationship ( Sternberg, 1986 ). So, novelty is essential to maintaining sexual attraction and strengthening connection in romantic love.

Jealousy and separation distress which are key features of romantic love ( Fisher et al., 2002b ), are actions to maintain and protect the emotional union and are expressions of a strong connection. Research has found a significant correlation between anxiety and love ( Hatfield et al., 1989 ) and a positive link between romantic love and jealousy in stable relationships ( Mathes and Severa, 1981 ; Aune and Comstock, 1991 ; Attridge, 2013 ; Gomillion et al., 2014 ). Indeed, individuals who feel strong romantic love tend to be more jealous or sensitive to threats to their relationship ( Orosz et al., 2015 ).

Connection in romantic love is weakened by distance, a dearth of communication, unsatisfactory sexual activity, divergences or dissimilarity of values and interests, monotony and too much predictability.

Trust and Romantic Love

Trust is the belief that a partner is, and will remain, reliable or dependable ( Cook, 2003 ). Trust in romantic love fits with the intimacy, and commitment components of Sternberg’s triangular theory of love which includes being able to count on the loved one in times of need, mutual understanding with the loved one, sharing of one’s self and one’s possessions with the loved one and maintaining the relationship ( Sternberg, 1986 ).

It has been proposed that love activates specific regions in the reward system which results in a reduction in emotional judgment and fear ( Seshadri, 2016 ). This reduced fear or trust has been identified as one of the most important characteristics of a romantic relationship and essential to fidelity, commitment, monogamy, emotional vulnerability, and intimacy ( Laborde et al., 2014 ). Indeed, trust can deepen intimacy, increase commitment and increase mutual monogamy, and make a person lower their guards in the belief that they are safe from harm ( Larzelere and Huston, 1980 ; Bauman and Berman, 2005 ). People with high trust in romantic relationships tend to expect that their partner will act in their interest causing them to prioritize relationship dependence over making themselves invulnerable from harm or self-protection ( Luchies et al., 2013 ). In contrast, people with low trust in their partner tend to be unsure about whether their partner will act in their interests and prioritize insulating themselves from harm over relationship dependence ( Luchies et al., 2013 ).

Trust takes time to grow into a romantic relationship. Indeed, people in a relationship come to trust their partners when they see that their partner’s action and behavior moves the relationship forward or acts in the interest of the relationship and not themself ( Wieselquist et al., 1999 ). Research indicates that trust is associated with mutual self-disclosure ( Larzelere and Huston, 1980 ), and positive partner responsiveness which are both essential to the experience of friendship and intimacy in romantic relationships ( Larzelere and Huston, 1980 ; Reis and Shaver, 1988 ; Laurenceau et al., 1998 ).

Also, trust influences caregiving and compassion. Evidence suggests that compassion is positively related to trust ( Salazar, 2015 ). Mutual communal responsiveness or caregiving in relationships in which partners attend to one another’s needs and welfare is done because they are confident that the other will do the same when or if their own needs arise ( Clark and Monin, 2006 ). Repeated acts of communal responsiveness given with no expectation of payback provide a partner with a sense of security and trust and increase the likelihood that they will be communally responsive if or when the need arises ( Clark and Monin, 2006 ), and contributes to a sense of love in romantic relationships ( Berscheid, 2010 ).

Loss or weakening of trust could spell the end of romantic love. Indeed, mistrust corrupts intimacy and often indicates that a relationship has ended or near its end ( LaFollette and Graham, 1986 ) and it makes mutual monogamy, and commitment difficult to achieve in a romantic relationship ( Towner et al., 2015 ). A study on individuals who had fallen out of romantic love with their spouse found that loss of trust and intimacy was part of the reason for the dissolution of love ( Sailor, 2013 ).

Respect and Romantic Love

Multiple lines of evidence suggest that respect is expected in both friendships and romantic relationships ( Gaines, 1994 , 1996 ). In romantic love, it entails consideration, admiration, high regard, and value for the loved one as a part of one’s life ( Sternberg and Grajek, 1984 ; Hendrick et al., 2011 ).

Gottman (1999) , found that the basis for a stable and satisfactory marital relationship is friendship filled with fondness and admiration ( Gottman, 1999 ). Respect is considered one of the most important things married couples want from their partner ( Gottman, 1994 ). Grote and Frieze (1994) , found that respect correlates with companionate or friendship love ( Grote and Frieze, 1994 ), indicating that respect is essential to intimacy and relationship satisfaction. Also, respect is positively correlated with passion, altruism, self-disclosure, and relationship overall satisfaction ( Frei and Shaver, 2002 ; Hendrick and Hendrick, 2006 ). It is associated with the tendency to overlook a partner’s negative behavior or respond with pro-relationship actions or compassion to their shortcomings ( Rusbult et al., 1998 ; Gottman, 1999 ).

Absence or a lack of respect could spell the end of romantic love. Research indicates that there is an expectation of mutual respect in friendship and most relationships and people reacted negatively when this expectation is violated ( Hendrick et al., 2011 ), indicating that a lack of respect could negatively affect commitment and attraction. Indeed, denial of respect is an important negative behavior in friendships and most relationships ( Gaines, 1994 , 1996 ) and a lack of respect is a violation of what it means to love one ‘s partner in a close romantic relationship ( Hendrick et al., 2011 ). Gottman (1993 , 1994) identified contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling as four of the relationally destructive behavior and he labeled them as “the four horsemen of the apocalypse.”

Romantic love summary

Romantic love involves the interactions and synergistic interplay between respect, connection, trust, and attraction. All four must be present in love. Any event that results in the loss of any of these factors could cause romantic love to gradually decline and unless effort is made to replenish it, it will eventually fade or collapse. Romantic love is dynamic and requires significant investment from both partners to keep it alive.

Parental Love

Attraction and parental love.

Attraction plays an essential role in parental love and it could be material or non-material. Material attraction involves the child’s health, gender, accomplishments or success, and attractiveness. In contrast, non-material attraction includes traits such as intelligence, character, and other personality traits.

Evidence suggests that culture influences gender preference with attraction greater for sons in most cases ( Cronk, 1993 ). Indeed, mothers and fathers have been found to favor the more intelligent and more ambitious/industrious child ( Lauricella, 2009 ). Also, parental perception that investment in a child will cost more than the benefits to be gained from taking care of the child might influence negative behavior toward the child. Indeed, multiple lines of evidence suggest that parental unemployment increases the rates of child maltreatment and abuse ( Steinberg et al., 1981 ; Lindo et al., 2013 ). Research indicates that teen mothers who have poor social support reported greater unhappiness, were at greater risk for child abuse and often employed the use of physical punishment toward their child ( Haskett et al., 1994 ; de Paúl and Domenech, 2000 ).

Also, several studies have suggested that parents tended to favor healthy children ( Mann, 1992 ; Barratt et al., 1996 ; Hagen, 1999 ). However, when resources are plentiful, parents tend to invest equally in less healthy or high-risk children ( Beaulieu and Bugental, 2008 ), because they have abundant resources to go around without compromising the reproductive value of healthy children ( Lauricella, 2009 ).

Connection and Parental Love

Connection creates a sense of oneness between parent and child and involves caregiving, intimacy, and attachment. It is influenced by proximity, positive and unique shared experiences, and similarity along virtually every dimension between parent and child.

Proximity, and similarity increases attachment and intimacy between parent and child. Research shows that parents are perceived as favoring genetically related children ( Salmon et al., 2012 ), and evidence suggests that paternal resemblance predicted paternal favoritism ( Lauricella, 2009 ). Parental proximity and similarity to a biological child are unique because it is based on genes and blood. In contrast, intimacy between a parent and an adopted child is based solely on shared experiences and proximity and takes time to grow and on many occasions may not develop ( Hooks, 1990 ; Hughes, 1999 ).

Dissimilarities or discrepancy in values, attitudes, etc., can create problems between children and parents and can have a profound effect on their relationship. Indeed, evidence suggests that the rebel child tended to be less close to the parents ( Rohde et al., 2003 ). Research has found that adolescents who are less religious than their parents tend to experience lower-quality relationships with their parents which results in higher rates of both internalizing and externalizing symptoms ( Kim-Spoon et al., 2012 ). When parents and family members were very religious, and a child comes out as an atheist, relationship quality could suffer in the form of rejection, anger, despair, or an inability to relate to one another ( Zimmerman et al., 2015 ). A study of lesbian, gay, and bisexual youngsters, for patterns of disclosure of sexual orientation to families, found that those who had disclosed reported verbal and physical abuse by parents and family members ( D’Augelli et al., 1998 ). Honor killing of female children which have been reported in Pakistan and some parts of the Middle East because of deviation from traditional gender roles or crossing of social boundaries that are deemed as taboo in their culture ( Lindsey and Sarah, 2010 ), is another example of the negative effects of the discrepancy in values between parents and child.

Unique shared experiences between parent and child could increase connection. Bank (1988) observed that the development of favoritism seems to require that the “child’s conception or birth be unusual or stressful,” ( Bank, 1988 ). Evidence suggests that parents most favored child tended to be last-born child and this is linked to their unique position, vulnerability and neediness ( Rohde et al., 2003 ). Also, proximity, positive experiences and time spent together increases connection and intimacy. Research indicates that parents tend to give more love and support to the grown child they were historically closest to and got along with ( Siennick, 2013 ). A study of primiparous women found that mothers with greater contact with their infants were more reluctant to leave them with someone else, and engaged more intimately with their child ( Klaus et al., 1972 ).

Divorce could create distance between a parent and child, weakening connection and intimacy. Indeed, one of the outcomes of divorce is the lessening of contact between divorced non-custodial fathers and their children ( Appleby and Palkovitz, 2007 ), and this can reduce intimacy ( Guttmann and Rosenberg, 2003 ).

Also, parental separation distress, worry, and concern for their child’s welfare, academic performance, and future are expressions of connection and a lack thereof is a sign of poor connection. Indeed, the levels of concern and worry expressed between children and their parents influenced their perceptions of the relationship quality ( Hay et al., 2007 ).

Trust and Parental Love

Trust is essential to parental attachment, intimacy, and caregiving. When there is mistrust, attachment and intimacy between a parent and their child are disrupted or unable to blossom. In Africa and many parts of the world, there have been reports of children being condemned and abandoned by their parents simply because they are tagged as witches with mysterious evil powers ( Tedam, 2014 ; Bartholomew, 2015 ; Briggs and Whittaker, 2018 ). The tag of “witchcraft” stirs up fear and anger, causing the child to be perceived as a deadly threat which inevitably damages attachment, intimacy and eliminates the need for caregiving.

Research has found that firstborn children were most likely to be chosen as those to whom mothers would turn when facing personal problems or crises ( Suitor and Pillemer, 2007 ). This tendency may be linked to trust. Moreover, evidence suggests that the rebel child tended to be less close to the parents ( Rohde et al., 2003 ). In other words, the more obedient, and reliable child is likely to gain the confidence and intimacy of the parents. In contrast, the disobedient and unreliable child is excluded or kept at a distance. Also, trust and poor connection could influence inheritance and disinheritance decisions. Indeed, estrangement, alienation and disaffection of a parent toward a child could result in disinheritance ( Batts, 1990 ; Brashier, 1994 , 1996 ; Foster, 2001 ; Arroyo et al., 2016 ).

Respect and Parental Love

Respect in parental love entails treating the child with consideration and regard. This consideration and regard for the child are essential to intimacy, caregiving and attachment. Indeed, respect is foundational to a harmonious relationship between parent and child ( Dixon et al., 2008 ). Evidence suggests that humans possess an innate behavioral system that leads them to form an attachment to a familiar person who provides care, comfort, and protection ( Harlow, 1958 ; Bowlby, 1989 ). Repeated acts of caregiving contribute to a sense of love in all types of relationships ( Berscheid, 2010 ), reinforcing the role of parental caregiving in fostering intimacy and attachment with the child.

Taking care of an infant’s needs, and making sure they are safe and well, all fall under consideration and regard for the child. Child abuse and neglect ( Tedam, 2014 ; Bartholomew, 2015 ; Briggs and Whittaker, 2018 ), is a display of a lack of consideration for the child’s need.

Also, respect in parental love involves admiration. Research has found that fathers treated more ambitious/industrious sons with high regard, and both parents favored the more intelligent and more ambitious/industrious daughters ( Lauricella, 2009 ) indicating that a child that engages in activities or behavior that is highly regarded by their parents may gain favor with their parents, strengthening intimacy and vice versa.

Parental love summary

Parental love involves the interactions and synergistic interplay between respect, connection, trust, and attraction. Any event that results in the loss of any of these factors could cause parental love to gradually decline. In many cases, the behavior and actions of a child significantly influence parental love.

Brand love has been defined as the level of passionate emotional attachment a satisfied or happy consumer has for a brand and evidence suggests it is very similar to interpersonal love ( Russo et al., 2011 ).

Attraction and Brand Love

Attraction plays an essential role in brand love. Material attraction for a brand includes attributes like superior design, quality, and aesthetics, price, benefits, etc. Non-material attraction involves social status symbol, brand personality, uniqueness, distinctiveness, user experience, image, etc. evidence suggests that when talking about loved brands, people often talk passionately about the brand’s many attractive qualities such as its exceptional performance, good-looking design, value for money, and other positive attributes ( Fournier, 1998 ; Whang et al., 2004 ; Carroll and Ahuvia, 2006 ; Batra et al., 2012 ). Research on brand love has found that brand attractive attributes such as prestige or uniqueness influence brand passion which affects relevant factors such as purchase intention ( Bauer et al., 2007 ).

Also, brand attraction influences brand loyalty, and commitment. Indeed, research indicates that brand benefits influences brand loyalty or commitment ( Huang et al., 2016 ). Brand personality (image, distinctiveness, and self-expressive value) is strongly associated with brand identification and loyalty ( Kim et al., 2001 ; Elbedweihy et al., 2016 ).

Connection and Brand Love

Connection is essential to brand love. It involves brand attachment, commitment, and intimacy and it is strengthened by brand identification, image, familiarity or awareness, proximity, length or frequency of usage and similarity or congruences along virtually every dimension including values, lifestyle, goals, etc. between brand and customer. Brand awareness which means brand familiarity has been described as essential for people to identify with a brand ( Pascual and Académico, 2015 ), and it indirectly affects current purchases ( Esch et al., 2006 ).

Also, brand identification promotes a sense of oneness between a brand and a customer strengthening commitment and it is driven by brand self-similarity, brand prestige and brand distinctiveness ( Stokburger-Sauer et al., 2008 ). Indeed, brand identification contributes to the development of brand love and brand loyalty ( Alnawas and Altarifi, 2016 ) and brand image and identification influence loyalty and positive word of mouth ( Carroll and Ahuvia, 2006 ; Batra et al., 2012 ; Anggraeni and Rachmanita, 2015 ). Brand identity, values and lifestyle similarities to those of the customer appear to have a strong and significant relationship with brand love ( Batra et al., 2012 ; Rauschnabel and Ahuvia, 2014 ; Alnawas and Altarifi, 2016 ; Elbedweihy et al., 2016 ). Findings from research suggest that customer-to-customer similarity and sense of community drive consumer brand identification, loyalty, and engagement ( Bergkvist and Bech-Larsen, 2010 ; Elbedweihy et al., 2016 ).

Moreover, proximity and interaction play a role in brand love. Indeed, the duration of the relationship between a customer and a brand is essential in brand love ( Albert et al., 2007 ). Fournier (1998) , discussed interdependence which involved frequent brand interactions as necessary for a strong brand relationship ( Fournier, 1998 ). Similarly, Batra et al. (2012) found that having a long-term relationship, positive emotional connection and frequent interactions with a brand was an important aspect of brand love ( Batra et al., 2012 ). Indeed, shared experiences and history between a person and a brand can increase their emotional attachment, make the brand to become an important part of the person’s identity narrative and increases their loyalty to the brand ( Thomson et al., 2005 ; Pedeliento et al., 2016 ).

Just like romantic love, concern and worry and proximity seeking, or maintenance are an expression of emotional connectedness to the brand. Indeed, anticipated separation distress has been described as a core element of brand love ( Batra et al., 2012 ), and consumers are likely to feel strong desires to maintain proximity with their loved objects, even feeling “separation distress” when they are distanced from them ( Thomson et al., 2005 ; Park et al., 2010 ).

Also, novelty through continued innovation is vital to maintaining and strengthening both attraction and connection. According to the Harvard business review, the relationship between brand and consumer go through “ruts” and to “keep the spark” alive, innovation and news are essential ( Halloran, 2014 ). Research indicates that innovation plays a role in brand equity and it impacts brand identification or resonance ( Sinha, 2017 ).

Lack of brand familiarity or awareness, poor or negative user experience, a dearth of innovation and increased dissimilarities in values and lifestyles between brand and consumer can all weaken brand connection.

Trust and Brand Love

Trust is essential to brand attachment, intimacy, and commitment. It involves confidence and reliability, or dependability of the brand and it is influenced by brand image, familiarity, values, user experience, and quality. Indeed, brand trust directly influences brand love ( Turgut and Gultekin, 2015 ; Meisenzahl, 2017 ) and a strong relationship exists between brand love and brand trust and identification ( Albert and Merunka, 2013 ). Evidence suggests that brand familiarity influences brand trust ( Ha and Perks, 2005 ) and brand trust and experience, positively influence brand attachment ( Erciş et al., 2012 ; Chinomona, 2013 ; Chinomona and Maziriri, 2017 ).

Also, brand trust affects brand purchase, loyalty, and commitment. Evidence suggests that a strong relationship exists between brand love and brand trust, brand commitment, positive word of mouth, and willingness to pay a higher price for the brand ( Albert and Merunka, 2013 ). Research indicates that brand trust positively affects brand loyalty ( Setyawan and Kussudiyarsana, 2015 ), directly influences brand purchase intentions ( Yasin and Shamim, 2013 ) and positively influences current and future purchases ( Erciş et al., 2012 ). Indeed, more than any other factor, brand trust has been identified as essential for future purchases of a brand ( Esch et al., 2006 ). It is essential in determining purchase loyalty and attitudinal loyalty and it plays a role in brand market share ( Chaudhuri and Holbrook, 2001 ). Brand trust affects both affective and continuance commitment and affective commitment influences repurchase intention and loyalty ( Erciş et al., 2012 ).

Brand quality is essential to brand trust and love. Indeed, Fournier (1998) , discussed the role of brand quality in brand love and highlighted the role of trust in relationship satisfaction and strength ( Fournier, 1998 ). Also, brand trust has been found to positively affect resistance to negative information and repurchase intention ( Turgut and Gultekin, 2015 ).

Brand trust is weakened by poor user experience, brand quality, brand image, and a lack of brand familiarity.

Respect and Brand Love

Brand respect is essential in brand love and plays an important role in brand attachment, intimacy, and commitment. It is influenced by brand identification, values, image, experience, and quality. Brand respect is displayed by the customer in the form of high regard, admiration for the brand, brand loyalty and consideration or tolerance of negative information. Indeed, brand familiarity positively affects brand respect ( Zhou, 2017 ), indicating that brand familiarity increases regard for a brand. Evidence suggests that brand image positively influences brand respect and love ( Cho, 2011 ), indicating that brand image modulates a customer’s regard and admiration for a brand.

Brand respect influences brand commitment and loyalty. Indeed, a strong relationship has been found between brand respect and brand loyalty ( Cho, 2011 ) and brand admiration results in greater brand loyalty, stronger brand advocacy, and higher brand equity ( Park et al., 2016 ). Brand respect affects the behavioral outcomes of brand love such as affective commitment, and willingness to pay a price premium ( Garg et al., 2016 ; Park et al., 2016 ).

Also, evidence suggests that customers’ admiration or high regard for a brand contributes to why they tend to ignore negative information about the brand ( Elbedweihy et al., 2016 ). Fournier (1998) , included respect as one of the components of brand partner quality. This means that respect is one of the factors that reflects the consumer’s evaluation of the brand’s performance ( Fournier, 1998 ).

A lack of respect could negatively influence the relationship between a brand and a customer. Indeed, people react negatively when the expectation of respect is violated ( Hendrick et al., 2011 ) and a violation of expectation between brand and customer has been found to contribute to brand hate ( Zarantonello et al., 2016 ).

Brand love summary

Brand love involves the interactions and synergistic interplay between respect, connection, trust, and attraction. Any event that results in the loss of any of these factors could cause brand love to gradually decline and unless effort is made to replenish it, it will eventually fade or collapse. Brand love is dynamic and requires significant investment from the brand to keep it alive.

Strengths and Advances Made by the Quadruple Theory

The quadruple theory builds on many of the strengths of previous theories of love and it applies a temporal approach that has been proposed as the best way to understand love ( Berscheid, 2010 ). It goes further than previous theories for several reasons. Firstly, it could potentially be applied to any form of love although, only brand, romantic and parental love were discussed in this paper due to the paucity of scholarly articles on other forms of love. One of the reasons current love scales and approaches have been unable to be applied in all forms of love ( Hendrick and Hendrick, 1989 ; Whitley, 1993 ; Sternberg, 1997 ; Masuda, 2003 ; Graham and Christiansen, 2009 ), is because they capture only a part of the ACC model, unlike the quadruple framework which fully captures it.

Unlike previous theories, the quadruple theory’s application of the complex factor of connection/resonance gives it an edge in furthering our understanding of love. Proximity, positive shared experience, familiarity, and similarity are vital to connection and connection has the most profound influence on all the other factors.

Also, the dynamism and variation of these factors provide a fresh way to understand love from its development to collapse. As Figure 1 shows, love tends to take time to mature in a relationship and can die as these factors rise and decline. Figure 1 shows that variations in the presence of these factors represent different levels of love. Love in any relationship is influenced by the events in the environment it is embedded, and it responds favorably or negatively to these changes. Indeed, people get sick, old, lose their finances, travel in search of greener pastures creating distance, develop new interests different from their partner’s and all these influences the presence and absence of love. One brand becomes more innovative, improves its product quality and users experience over another and people gradually love it more than the one they previously loved. In other words, love is very dynamic and may be divided into high, moderate and low. Another point highlighted in Figure 1 is that the absence of one factor represents the absence of love and only the presence of all factors represents the presence of love. Indeed, the decline of a factor can be replenished in response to changes in the environment causing the reestablishment of love. Trust could decline but attraction and respect remain and over time trust could be replenished.

This dynamic understanding of love implies that it can be nurtured and sustained. As an example, for a brand to be loved and to maintain that love, it must make products that are attractive (appealing). It must be able to connect to its target customers by reaching out through adverts to achieve familiarity and it must ensure that its values, goals, actions are consistently similar to those of its customer base. Also, it must ensure its services and products and actions promote and maintain trust with its customers. It must respect (value) its customer’s interests and ensure that its services and products continue to receive the admiration of its customers. Table 2 describes how brand love can be nurtured and preserved.

Table 2. Brand love can be nurtured and maintained.

Using this framework, a love scale or algorithm could be developed to ascertain the presence or absence of love in any relationship. Such a scale must effectively capture these four factors and must consider the type of love being calculated in its approach. As an example, in trying to create a scale for romantic love, sexual attraction, and activity may be important for attraction and connection (depending on the age of the partners) but would be unnecessary in the calculation of brand or parental love.

Major Challenges for the Theory

One of the biggest challenges the theory faces is the lack of psychometric data to prove many of its claims. Most of its arguments are based on decades of psychological data, but its lack of psychometric data weakens the theory significantly. Also, the entire premise of the theory is based on the ACC model, which has not been validated as essential or foundational to understanding love. Perhaps, something else needs to be added to the model that the theory may have missed. The argument that the quadruple theory captures the ACC model better than previous theories on love is an argument that has not been validated, and it remains to be seen if this is true. Also, the argument that it can be applied to all forms of love apart from the three discussed remains to be tested and verified.

Gaps currently exist in our understanding of love and evidences from the existing literature show that a framework that can be applied to all forms of love is needed. The quadruple theory hopes to be that framework. It is likely to broaden our understanding of the complex nature of love. It could make love less complex by making it something that can be cultivated or nurtured, regulated and preserved. Future research should consider the modulatory roles of peptides, neurotransmitters, and hormones on these factors and their influence on love as well as the integrated parts of the brain that modulates all these factors and how they work synergistically in different stages of love.

It is important to note that love is universal and applies to people of all cultures, races, ethnicities, religion and sexual orientations. Indeed, romantic love as described by the quadruple theory applies equally to heterosexual relationships and to the relationships of people in the LGTBQ community.

In conclusion, culture has a monumental influence on what people feel, think, and how they behave toward other people and things in their environment ( Karandashev, 2015 ; Ching Hei and David, 2018 ). So, it can be considered a modulating factor on the factors discussed and on love.

Author Contributions

The author confirms being the sole contributor of this work and has approved it for publication.

Conflict of Interest

The author declares that the research was conducted in the absence of any commercial or financial relationships that could be construed as a potential conflict of interest.

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Keywords : triangular theory of love, Romance, brand love, parental love, maternal love, Meaning of love, Definition of love, am I in love

Citation: Tobore TO (2020) Towards a Comprehensive Theory of Love: The Quadruple Theory. Front. Psychol. 11:862. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00862

Received: 20 September 2019; Accepted: 07 April 2020; Published: 19 May 2020.

Reviewed by:

Copyright © 2020 Tobore. This is an open-access article distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution License (CC BY) . The use, distribution or reproduction in other forums is permitted, provided the original author(s) and the copyright owner(s) are credited and that the original publication in this journal is cited, in accordance with accepted academic practice. No use, distribution or reproduction is permitted which does not comply with these terms.

*Correspondence: Tobore Onojighofia Tobore, [email protected]

Disclaimer: All claims expressed in this article are solely those of the authors and do not necessarily represent those of their affiliated organizations, or those of the publisher, the editors and the reviewers. Any product that may be evaluated in this article or claim that may be made by its manufacturer is not guaranteed or endorsed by the publisher.

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The Effects of Romantic Relationships on the Academic Performance of University of the Philippines – Cebu College Students ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

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Love and Infidelity: Causes and Consequences

1 Department of Psychology, York University, Toronto, ON M3J 1P3, Canada

Sybil H. Chan

2 Faculty of Education, Western University, London, ON N6A 3K7, Canada

This is a narrative review addressing the topic of romantic infidelity, its causes and its consequences. Love is commonly a source of much pleasure and fulfillment. However, as this review points out, it can also cause stress, heartache and may even be traumatic in some circumstances. Infidelity, which is relatively common in Western culture, can damage a loving, romantic relationship to the point of its demise. However, by highlighting this phenomenon, its causes and its consequences, we hope to provide useful insight for both researchers and clinicians who may be assisting couples facing these issues. We begin by defining infidelity and illustrating the various ways in which one may become unfaithful to their partner. We explore the personal and relational factors that enhance an individual’s tendency to betray their partner, the various reactions related to a discovered affair and the challenges related to the nosological categorization of infidelity-based trauma, and conclude by reviewing the effects of COVID-19 on unfaithful behavior, as well as clinical implications related to infidelity-based treatment. Ultimately, we hope to provide a road map, for academicians and clinicians alike, of what some couples may experience in their relationships and how can they be helped.

1. Love and Infidelity: Causes and Consequences

Grøntvedt et al., opined that “it is hard to imagine romantic and committed relationships devoid of transgressions of some kind. Despite the best intentions not to cause any harm or disappointment to one’s partner, breaking rules and promises are largely inevitable in long-term relationships” [ 1 ]. While some transgressions may be trivial and easily forgiven and forgotten, those involving betrayal may have significant effects on the relationship. It seems that any form of infidelity from either party may have potential to instigate a breakup [ 2 ]. In fact, research across 160 cultures revealed that spousal infidelity is the most common reason for a breakup [ 1 ]. Infidelity may not only have a destructive impact on the relationship, which may lead to separation or divorce, but may negatively affect the partners’ overall emotional wellbeing, leading to enhanced depressive symptoms andlowered self-esteem [ 3 ]. However, comprehensive reviews encompassing many aspects of infidelity (e.g., distinctions between emotional and sexual affairs, gender differences to extradyadic behaviors, the impacts of infidelity-based trauma) are sparse in the literature. As such, the following paper presents a “narrative review” of research related to the causes, consequences and reasonings of infidelity in adult romantic relationships.

We chose to include a mixture of qualitative and quantitative peer-reviewed research that directly addressed the subject of sexual and emotional infidelity, as well as infidelity-based trauma, as major variables of investigation for the purposes of this review. We focused on including work from a diverse collection of scholarly journals ranging from notable to lesser-known databases. We began our research by examining current issues from highly ranked journals in the fields of marriage and family therapy, sex therapy and couples counseling from the past 10 to 12 years. These journals included Sexual and Relationship Therapy, Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, Journal of Family Psychology, Journal of Marriage and Family, Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy and the Journal of Sex Research . Following this, we reviewed several major social science databases, including ERIC, PsycINFO, PubMED and Google Scholar, using the following terms: “emotional infidelity”, “sexual infidelity”, “relationship trauma”, “extradyadic relationships”, “extradyadic behaviors”, “infidelity-based trauma”, “extramarital affairs” and “romantic betrayal”. We also examined the references of these articles and selected those that fit the criteria described above.

3. Defining Infidelity

While considerable research has been carried out on the topic of infidelity, little agreement exists regarding its definition. Drigotas opined that infidelity occurs when a person feels that their partner has violated the relationship norm by interacting with someone who is not a part of their relationship [ 4 ]. However, Blow and Hartnett defined infidelity as “…a sexual and/or emotional act engaged in by one person within a committed relationship, where such an act occurs outside of the primary relationship, and constitutes a breach of trust and/or violation of agreed upon norms (overt and covert) by one or both individuals in that relationship in relation to romantic, emotional or sexual exclusivity” [ 5 ]. Reviewing both definitions, a distinction needs to be made between sexual and emotional infidelity and its newer concepts related to inappropriate online and offline behavior, which we will address later [ 6 ].

Generally, infidelity is defined as any type of secret emotional, sexual or romantic behavior that violates the exclusivity that romantic relationships have by definition. However, there are varied definitions of infidelity, which can be divided into subtypes of sexual, emotional, combined (sexual and emotional) and internet infidelity [ 7 ]. Examples of the various (and sometimes contradictory) definitions, can be gleaned from Bernard who believed that partners who failed to love, honor and support their partners were engaging in infidelity, since they did not honor their vows to remain with their romantic partner [ 8 ]. In contrast, Pittman and Wagers held a different position and maintained that the hallmark of infidelity involves the secrecy and concealment of behaviors with an individual outside of the committed relationship [ 9 ]. Thompson had a more comprehensive view of infidelity, and postulated that infidelity occurs if: (a) the extradyadic behavior is not condoned by one’s romantic partner, (b) that behavior occurs outside of the primary relationship and (c) the behavior can be described, such as intercourse, flirting, etc. [ 10 ].

Sexual infidelity was defined by Leeker and Carlozzi as “the occurrence of sexual involvement with a third party that violates the ground rules established by the couple (e.g., kissing, fondling, oral sex, vaginal sex, anal sex)” [ 11 ].

Emotional infidelity was seen as “the occurrence of emotional involvement with a third party that violates the ground rules established by the couple (e.g., trusting another, sharing your deepest thoughts with another, falling in love in another, being vulnerable with another, being more committed to another, spending more money on another)” [ 11 ].

Research that explored which type of infidelity, sexual or emotional, would be more upsetting found that men were more distressed by sexual infidelity, while women were more upset by emotional infidelity [ 12 , 13 ] Research which addressed the reactions of lesbian and heterosexual women and gay and heterosexual men to infidelity found that for all four groups, emotional infidelity was more distressing than sexual infidelity [ 11 ]. Cramer et al., fund that women perceived emotional infidelity as more upsetting than men did, and the explanation provided by them was that women believe that men are not able to maintain sexual faithfulness in their relationships, but will still remain emotionally loyal to their spouses regardless [ 14 ].

Leeker and Carluzzi explored how sexual orientation, love and infidelity expectations might affect the reaction towards emotional and sexual infidelity [ 11 ]. Their study involved 296 individuals: 72 lesbians, 114 heterosexual women, 53 gay men and 57 heterosexual men, who were older than 18 years of age and who indicated that they were currently involved in a committed romantic relationship. They found that sex and sexual orientation were significant predictors of general distress, anger, anxiety, jealousy, humiliation, in response to both emotional and sexual infidelity. Commitment was predictive of distress and anger in response to emotional infidelity, while sexual infidelity aroused distress and anxiety.

Addressing the various types of infidelity, emotional infidelity includes the development of deep, intimate feelings for an extradyadic partner, while sexual infidelity refers to engaging in sexual behavior with that person. Those who engage in both emotional and sexual behavior are said to be involved with composite infidelity, while internet infidelity is carried out (at least initially) virtually/online [ 7 ]. Other researchers have employed even narrower definitions of infidelity by focusing on specific behaviors such as spending time with another individual and going on romantic dates, engaging in kissing, fondling, or even sexual intercourse, suggesting that they all constitute unfaithful behaviour [ 5 , 15 ].

Differences between the various types of infidelity were also observed in the work of Guitar et al., who reported that emotional infidelity is more complex than sexual infidelity [ 16 ]. Three hundred and seventy-nine undergraduate students provided their interpretations of emotional and sexual infidelity, which were later categorized into themes for content analysis. Participants’ responses indicated that emotional infidelity included themes such as love and betrayal along with sexual infidelity and/or intentions to have sexual relations with someone outside the pair bond. Particularly, women saw emotional infidelity as carrying the potential of later sexual betrayal in such partnerships. This suggests that the nuances involved with conceptualizing emotional infidelity may surpass the conditions needed to fulfill sexual infidelity, and that these differences may be most salient when observing differences across genders.

In fact, research has shown that men appear to hold more permissive attitudes towards extramarital sex than women do [ 17 ]. They also reported experiencing greater levels of stress related to the sexual infidelity of their partner, whereas women react more negatively to emotional infidelity than men [ 3 ]. However, women also seem to consider more behaviors as infidelity compared to men in both offline and online spaces [ 3 ].

Moreover, shared opinions regarding what specific behaviors are considered as unfaithful in nature have also been identified in the literature. For example, work by Bozoyan and Schmiedeberg found that extradyadic intercourse was regarded as infidelity [ 3 ]. Kissing someone who is not one’s partner was also reported as infidelity, especially if emotional involvement was part of it. The results of their research point to a perception of sexual infidelity as more distressing than emotional infidelity. However, women tended to judge behaviors as being unfaithful slightly more strictly than men, which is in line with other research in the existing literature [ 17 ]. Despite this, it appears that overall gender differences regarding the prevalence of infidelity have been shrinking over the past few decades [ 18 ].

3.1. Measuring Infidelity

Whitty and Quigley constructed a survey which aimed to explore what would upset participants from a list of several described situations [ 19 ]. Next, drawing from Harris and Christenfeld’s work, participants were then asked how they would feel if their partner was unfaithful and was in love with someone else [ 20 ]. Sabini and Green relied on Buss et al.’s much-utilized approach and described a situation where the partner of the participant was having deep emotional or sexual involvement with someone else [ 21 , 22 ]. Participants were asked to describe how they would feel in such a situation. They found that both, men and women, saw a partner’s emotional involvement as a more threatening sign of their partners’ leaving than when there was only sexual involvement.

In their study on infidelity, Leeker and Carlozzi utilized Cramer et al.’squestionnaire, in which participants rated the likelihood of their partner engaging in each item with a third party, on a seven-point Likert scale, aiming to identify their reactions to emotional vs. sexual intimacy [ 11 , 14 ]. Another measure which was utilized in Leeker and Carlozzi’s study was continuous emotion ratings [ 13 ]. These ratings served as the dependent variable in their study, assessing how angry, anxious, jealous and humiliated each participant felt in response to infidelity in their romantic relationship.

3.2. Perspectives on Infidelity

Symons and Buss were the first to view infidelity from an evolutionary perspective [ 23 ]. They opined that women are more likely to be affected by emotional infidelity rather than by sexual infidelity due to the fact that women carry the fetus and give birth. Thus, they are more threatened by the emotional betrayal of their romantic partner, for whom they count on to provide for the developing family unit. Men on the other hand are more threatened by sexual infidelity. Fisher et al., observed that for thousands of years, women depended on men to provide their food, shelter and safety, and this is the reason why they are more hurt by emotional infidelity which may threaten the partner’s commitment [ 24 ]. Men, however, are more threatened by sexual infidelity, as evolutionarily, they were not sure whether the child was theirs (versus the mother who carries her own child) and did not want to protect, feed and care for someone else’s offspring. This was referred to as jealousy as a specific innate module (JSIM). While the evolutionary perspective is the most accepted one, the social-cognitive perspective was proposed as an alternative to JSIM, and maintained that jealousy is not a simple module but includes several different feelings, each triggered by a different aspect of the jealousy-provoking situation. Anger was identified as a major component of the response to infidelity [ 25 , 26 ].

4. Distress Related to Emotional and Sexual Infidelity

4.1. the role of adult attachment on infidelity-based trauma.

Colloquially dubbed as a “theory of trauma”, attachment theory was originally developed by John Bowlby to describe the different forms of emotional attachment (i.e., secure, anxious–ambivalent, avoidant, disorganized) and subsequent attachment behaviors that exist between a mother and infant [ 27 ]. As the child’s cognition begins to mature, they begin to develop internalized expectations, or internal working models, about how they should behave with their caregivers and how their caregivers should comfort them during times of distress or separation [ 27 ]. Overtime, the child learns how to perceive, process and resolve stressful events that involve their caregiver which ultimately inform their early understandings of attachment and later romantic relationships in adulthood [ 28 ].

However, parallels to this evolutionary behavioral system from infancy become prevalent as early styles and characteristics of attachment emerge in response to an unfaithful, romantic affair amongst committed partners [ 29 ]. Johnson et al., compares the harsh emotional pain experienced by victims of infidelity to the same attachment injuries as an infant separated from their mother [ 28 ]. Attachment injuries refer to traumatic interpersonal experiences which violate an individual’s internal representation of another as a trustworthy and reliable base for support [ 29 ]. The traumatic reactions caused by infidelity emulate behaviors and attitudes seen in a disorganized attachment style as immense emotional, psychological and cognitive dysregulation is evident amongst these afflicted romantic partners [ 5 , 30 ]. This includes reports of developing lower self-esteem, self-confidence, a lack of trust in others and a strong fear of abandonment in future romantic relationships [ 31 ]. Hazan and Shaver conclude that the subversive impact of infidelity harms the individual’s ability to be open to future romantic pursuits as the betrayal of a loving, secure partner is everlasting [ 29 ].

Reactions to infidelity vary significantly according to each person. Interpretations of infidelity are often based on an individual’s perspective of what they want to perceive from the event. The unfaithful affair may be interpreted as a threatening message or a conciliatory one; a process that is commonly referred to as causal attribution [ 32 ]. It would, consequently, be beneficial to enlighten couples prior to their long-term commitment—especially those whose attachment is not secure—that infidelity need not to “destroy” their trust in their partner, and that healing may occur, despite the traumatic event. Relationship satisfaction may also affect how people process and interpret these transgressions. Although, less satisfied partners may perceive infidelity as more threatening to the relationship, which may enhance the chances of relational dissolution. Others, on the other hand, may forgive the transgression and continue with their relationship [ 1 ].

4.2. Emotional Reactions to Infidelity

Infidelity can lead to emotional dysregulation for both victims and perpetrators of extradyadic behaviors. Specific emotional manifestations of infidelity-based trauma include feelings of extreme anger, betrayal, insecurity, rage, shame, guilt, jealousy and sadness [ 24 , 31 , 33 , 34 , 35 , 36 , 37 , 38 , 39 , 40 ].

Depressive symptoms following the disclosure of an affair are commonplace for victims of infidelity [ 30 , 33 , 38 , 41 ]. Women who had experienced threats of marital dissolution or of their husband’s infidelity were six times more likely to be diagnosed with a major depressive episode than those who had not experienced either of those events [ 42 ]. These women were also more likely to report heightened symptoms of nonspecific depression and anxiety [ 42 ]. Research by Lonergan et al., further supports these findings, as their participants demonstrated clinically significant scores of psychological distress which was associated with intrusive images, memories and rumination about their previous unfaithful relationship(s) [ 38 ].

Jealousy is the most frequently experienced emotion in response to discovering spousal infidelity. This mechanism was acquired by humans thousands of years ago and often occurs in combination with anger, insecurity, rejection, fear, betrayal, paranoia, depression, loneliness, confusion, envy and resentment, as well as PTSD [ 21 , 30 ]. Intense feelings, such as the ones mentioned, may trigger aggressive behavior, which may be expressed towards one’s spouse; this is the leading cause of homicide in the United States according to Leeker and Carlozzi [ 11 ]. It is evident that the impact of infidelity can have dangerous outcomes for those afflicted by this type of betrayal.

Future research may address the issue of intense emotions in light of romantic betrayal, aiming to find a method that the betrayed could employ to control those negative feelings. Thus, preventing that distress from overcoming their wishes regarding the union (assuming that they would want the union to continue).

4.3. Predictors of Emotional Reactions to Infidelity

Sex and sexual orientation were shown to be significant predictors of general distress, anger, anxiety, jealousy and humiliation in response to both emotional and sexual infidelity. Commitment was predictive of distress and anger in response to emotional infidelity, while sexual infidelity aroused distress and anxiety. Interestingly, Leeker and Carlozzi did not find an association between the influence of the three components of love on emotional responses [ 11 ]. Interestingly, neither passion or expectations about the likelihood of a partner committing sexual or emotional infidelity were able to predict emotional responses to either emotional or sexual infidelity. Generally, they concluded that women and heterosexuals are significantly more distressed by a current partner’s sexual or emotional infidelity in comparison with their male, lesbian and gay counterparts. As is intuitively apparent, those with greater commitment to their partners are more likely to be distressed and angered by a partner’s emotional infidelity, while those who feel that their union connection is less intimate will be more distressed and anxious by a partner’s sexual infidelity. Lastly, regardless of how passionate the relationship is, just imagining one’s partner being involved in infidelity evokes strong, negative emotions. Another interesting finding of the study was that gender was not predictive of jealousy in response to sexual infidelity.

Heterosexual men often report more distress in response to sexual infidelity than heterosexual women, although heterosexual women, lesbian women and gay men tend to report similarly high levels of distress to emotional infidelity. Apparently, it was found that sexual orientation was a significant predictor of emotional reactions to emotional and sexual infidelity. Commitment was positively correlated with distress and anger in the face of emotional infidelity, but not the sexual type. When there was less intimacy in the relationship, it was predictive of distress and anxiety in response to sexual infidelity, but not emotional infidelity. Leeker and Carlozzi opined that it is possible that having less of an emotional bond decreases the betrayed partner’s sense of safety and security when faced with a partner’s sexual infidelity, which may result in lowered distress and anxiety [ 11 ]. Notably, it is difficult to speculate why these emotions were felt in response to one infidelity type and not the other.

4.4. Effects of Sex and Sexual Orientation on Emotional Reactions to Infidelity

In Leeker and Carlozzi’s study, gender and sexual orientation did not significantly interact to elicit emotional responses to sexual and emotional infidelity. Women, regardless of their sexual orientation, reacted more strongly to both types of infidelity than men. Women’s reactions to emotional infidelity were similar to those of men, while they were angrier than men in the face of sexual infidelity. When faced with sexual infidelity, women were almost as humiliated as they were anxious and jealous, whereas men were much less concerned with humiliation. Both women and men were more distressed by sexual infidelity than emotional infidelity overall [ 11 , 43 , 44 ].

In the Leeker and Carlozzi study, women and men agreed that sexual infidelity mostly elicited anger, followed by anxiety and jealousy [ 11 ]. Additionally, these researchers found that heterosexuals’ scores were also significantly higher than lesbian and gay individuals’ scores, but no significant sexual orientation differences were found between emotional and sexual infidelity. Evolutionary theory would explain this result by suggesting that lesbian and gay people should not be as affected by infidelity compared to heterosexuals, since infidelity by same-sex partners does not pose the evolutionary threats of raising another man’s child or losing a male partner’s resources to another woman [ 45 ].

4.5. Effects of Infidelity Type on Emotional Reactions

Among all participants of the Leeker and Carlozzi study, sexual infidelity elicited significantly more intense emotional reactions than emotional infidelity, with significant differences in distress, anger and humiliation [ 11 ]. Sexual infidelity elicited significantly more anger than the other emotions. The researchers also found that emotional infidelity elicited significantly more anxiety and jealousy than anger and humiliation. Sexual infidelity, on the other hand, elicited significantly more anger than all other emotions and may, thus, reflect the common viewpoint that sexual infidelity is preventable and intolerable, whereas emotional infidelity is perceived as less controllable [ 46 ].

Seminal research by Buss et al., asked college students to imagine their romantic partner being engaged in a deep emotional attachment with another person or imagine their partner enjoying passionate sexual intercourse with that person [ 21 ]. Participants were then asked which upset scenario them more. Results found that 60% of men believed sexual infidelity to be more stressful, whereas only 17% of women felt that way. This is in line with evolutionary theory, which state that men and women react differently to the two different transgressions as a result of sexually dimorphic selection pressures [ 47 ].

4.6. Understanding Infidelity Victimization in the Context of Trauma and Stressor-Related Disorders

The diagnostic category of “trauma and stressor-related disorders” is a new addition to the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders (DSM-5) which lists external environmental stressors as an etiological factor for various mental illnesses [ 48 ]. For PTSD, the stressor must involve exposure to or experience involving actual or threatened death, serious injury or sexual violence (e.g., Criterion A) [ 48 ]. In contrast, the stressors needed to diagnose adjustment disorder [AD] can include those that fall into “everyday” normal life such as job loss, the death of a loved one or divorce [ 38 , 48 ]. According to Maercker and Lorenz, the similarities of both conditions can be traced back to cognitive distortions surrounding safety and trust which are developed from the maladaptive memories of a traumatic event [ 49 ]. They suggest that these memories are often combined with negative appraisals about the traumatic incident to radically impact an individual’s opinion of the world and themselves as dangerous, damaging and destructive.

Several authors have cited the emotional, cognitive and behavioral reactions to infidelity as evidence to support its status as a traumatic experience that is comparable to PTSD, despite AD being a better diagnostic fit [ 38 , 50 , 51 ]. Both disorders share similar psychophysiological symptoms that are typically demonstrated in cases of infidelity, including feelings of elevated anxiety, hyperarousal, rumination, intrusive flashbacks, emotional dissociation and depression [ 50 , 52 ]. However, an important distinction that should be stressed is of the diagnostic criterions needed to diagnose PTSD in the DSM-5. For example, research by Steffens and Rennie and Laaser et al., found that infidelity victims met all the criteria for PTSD apart from Criterion A [ 41 , 53 ]. Similar results were shown in work by Roos et al. and Gordon et al., which found that victims of romantic betrayal experienced clinical levels of PTSD symptomology that included high levels of depressive symptoms and stress [ 51 , 54 ]. These findings suggest that victims of romantic betrayal do experience significant psychological and emotional distress, but not due to the trauma of direct or threatened exposure to deadly circumstances, as needed to fulfill Criterion A for PTSD [ 48 ]. Therefore, these symptoms may be better understood within the diagnostic context of AD, rather than in PTSD.

It is therefore suggested that attachment-based trauma, as seen in extradyadic affairs, should be regarded as a valid traumatic experience, but should also be nuanced and critically distinct to that of PTSD trauma [ 30 , 35 , 55 ]. Some clinicians argue that framing the experience of infidelity as a form of trauma may facilitate greater emotional recovery for its victims, thus, demonstrating the benefits of validating such an emotionally distressing event [ 56 , 57 ]. Therefore, conceptualizing infidelity as its own unique traumatic experience within the lens of AD may help to accurately capture the impact of these situations while shedding light on the potential overdiagnosis and reliance of the PTSD label [ 49 , 58 , 59 ].

4.7. Physical Health Consequences of Infidelity-Based Trauma

Few studies have examined the relationship between infidelity-based trauma and its subsequent physical health consequences, although immediate physical reactions shortly following the discovery of these affairs have been cited by some researchers. For example, work by Lonergan et al., found that infidelity victims reported persistent somatic symptoms such as insomnia, weight loss, difficulty with concentration and a lack of appetite and libido immediately after experiencing romantic betrayal [ 38 ]. Another study conducted by Roos et al., found that undergraduate students experiencing infidelity as victims of romantic betrayal reported having difficulty breathing, bodily trembles, extreme nervousness and a racing heart when recalling their previous relationship [ 51 ]. This is further supported by findings from Shackelford et al., which found that female participants reported greater symptoms of nausea and physical illness when asked to imagine their partner as unfaithful under experimental settings [ 40 ]. Ultimately, it is suggested that further work should be performed to examine the lasting physical effects of infidelity-based trauma to promote preventative care for those involved in these relationships.

4.8. Suicidality and Infidelity

Infidelity may feel like an unstoppable problem which may invoke thoughts of suicidal ideation and suicidality among vulnerable individuals [ 60 , 61 ]. An article by Snyder et al., described how these issues may impact both perpetrators and injured partners of an affair [ 62 ]. For the injured party, fluctuating feelings of rage, powerlessness, abandonment and victimization may leave them shaken and unable to support themselves after learning about their partner’s betrayal. This may lead to suicidal ideation. However, perpetrators of infidelity may experience similar emotional reactions after the discovery of their affair, such as depression, acute anxiety and suicidality. This is believed to occur persistently following threats of divorce or marital separation following disclosure [ 62 ].

To date, only one study by Stephens has closely examined the relationship between suicidal behavior and relationship-related distress such as infidelity [ 63 ]. A community sample of 50 women with histories of previous suicide attempts were asked about their intimate relationships with men in relation to their suicidal behaviors. It was found that partner infidelity, along with battering, “smothering love” and denial of affection, were the most prominent themes that lead to suicidality and suicidal ideation. Interestingly, Stephens also asserted that age may be a confounding variable for this topic as well [ 63 ]. Younger participants reacted to specific negative events in their romantic relationships by attempting suicide, while older participants would do so in response to long-term conflicts with their partners. This may suggest that the threshold for suicidality in those afflicted by infidelity is different for individuals depending on their age and range of experiences related to love.

Similarly, research by Martin et al., further supports the relationship between infidelity and suicidal behavior in their work examining the role of marital status, life stressors and communication regarding suicidality in U.S. Air Force personnel [ 64 ]. Researchers examined 100 decedents who died by suicide and examined their social supports (e.g., communication with friends, family and coworkers), medical and fiscal records (e.g., personnel files, finances, mental health details), toxicology and autopsy reports and evidence from the death scene (e.g., suicide notes) to gather a comprehensive understanding of the conflicts that contribute to suicide. Among this sample, 9% of suicide completers were found to have experienced the infidelity of a spouse within 24 h prior to their passing. Martin et al., also observed that 5% of decedents had committed infidelity within this time frame as well [ 64 ]. Findings from this study highlight the rapid and deadly risks of infidelity disclosure in precipitating suicidal behavior for both victims and perpetrators of romantic betrayal.

These limited studies show that further research is necessary to examine specific factors that drive suicidality in certain victims of infidelity. The importance of this topic warrants greater investigation into how potential influences such as age, personality and relationship duration impact infidelity-based suicidality.

4.9. Why Do People Think They Get into Affairs?

Selterman et al., wanted to understand how those who were involved in infidelity feel, think and behave, and suggested that all of these factors are affected by their motivation to have extramarital affairs [ 65 ]. Their findings suggest that there may be meaningfully different infidelity typologies characterized by both different underlying motivations, different relational processes and different behavioral outcomes. Thompson’s deficit model of infidelity suggested that relationships which are not optimal and are characterized by low satisfaction, high conflict and a lack of good communication play a significant role in the causal factors leading to infidelity [ 10 ]. Like other models and theories, this model sees infidelity as a symptom of deeper underlying relational difficulties that the couple is struggling with. In their study, Selterman et al., explored the infidelity of 495 participants, including 259 women and 213 men who had significant variability in relationship length, ranging from 1 month to 28 years [ 65 ]. Results indicated that while almost all participants engaged physically with their affair partners, only 53% had intercourse with them. Men were more likely to report engaging in these sexual behaviors. Those motivated by sexual desire, and seeking love and variety, reported greater sexual satisfaction with their affairs. On the other hand, those motivated by situational factors were less sexually satisfied with the affair, which was also short lived, in contrast with those in long-term committed relationships [ 66 , 67 ].

Selterman et al., found eight different variables which related to infidelity motivation. These included things such as feeling angry at a partner’s behavior; wanting more sex than is available in the primary relationship; wanting more intimacy and love than is available to them; having low commitment to the relationship; wanting greater autonomy; clouded judgement due to situational factors, such as stress; feeling mistreated or neglected; and wanting a greater number of sexual partners [ 65 ]. Consistent with the deficit model of relationship infidelity, they found that motivations related to a lack of love and neglect predicted participants’ reported intimacy with affair partners, such as expressing their love verbally in “I love you” statements, public displays of affection and engaging in longer affairs, while situational motivation was inversely associated with these experiences. The authors opined that when people feel emotional shortfalls in their primary relationships, they may search for a deeper quality of romantic connection which includes more intimacy in their affairs to compensate for the insufficient intimacy experienced with primary partners.

Furthermore, emotional closeness to their primary partners was negatively associated with the emotional satisfaction which people involved in affairs experienced [ 65 ]. In some instances, people become involved in affairs to hurt their partner. They are usually angry, score lower on commitment and experience a lack of love in their relationship. In light of the devastating effects of affairs, it is possible that while some participants wanted their primary partners to suffer, others had no intention to hurt their partner or terminate the relationship [ 68 ]. Commitment affected the post-affair contact that people maintained with their affair partners; those who had a higher level of commitment, versus those who did not, did not maintain contact with their affair partners. Focusing on one’s partner and the relationship may enhance personal and relational growth following an affair, while if that is missing, the relationship may not survive an affair. People who lacked love, appreciation and sexual desire in their primary relationship are more liable to leave it and establish a primary relationship with their affair partner [ 65 ].

5. Infidelity in Marital Relationships

The scientific literature points to the occurrence of what is variously labeled infidelity, extradyadic involvement, unfaithfulness, affairs, stepping out, cheating or some other synonym indicative of secret romantic activity with a secondary partner while in an exclusive romantic relationship. This secretive activity can range from emotional involvement all the way to penetrative sex. Estimates suggest that infidelity occurs in about a quarter of all marriages, and at the beginning of the 21st century, a dramatic increase in infidelity of the oldest cohort of men (ages 65–90) was noted [ 18 ].

Infidelity causes grief and relational problems to the individual, the couple and even their offspring. It was found to be associated with depression, anxiety and even PTSD, leading to divorce [ 42 , 69 , 70 ]. Additionally, infidelity was linked to domestic violence and increased exposure to sexually transmitted diseases [ 21 , 71 ].

5.1. Factors That Increase Infidelity

5.1.1. demographics.

While early research suggested that men are more likely to commit infidelity than women recent work has suggested that the gender gap is narrowing [ 56 , 72 ]. A study observing the relationship between religion and infidelity found that non-religious people report more cases of infidelity than religious ones [ 73 ]. Education has also been shown to be positively associated with infidelity, in that those with higher education are more likely to engage in infidelity than the less educated, often depending on other factors in their lives. Individuals with higher incomes are also more prone to engage in infidelity, although, this may simply be because their professional and personal lives include more opportunities to engage in extradyadic relations. About half of all those who engaged in infidelity met their extradyadic partner at work [ 74 ].

5.1.2. The Individual

Personal characteristics such as neuroticism, prior history of infidelity, number of sex partners before marriage, psychological distress and an insecure attachment orientation, as well as permissive attitudes toward sex, have been positively associated with infidelity [ 75 , 76 , 77 ]. Coming from a family where infidelity was present also increases the risk of one being involved in infidelity [ 7 ].

When not caused by marital conflict or low marital satisfaction, infidelity may be associated with opportunity and permissive values. For instance, Treas and Giesen found an increased likelihood of sexual infidelity among men and women with stronger sexual interest levels [ 78 ]. Some research used the Big Five personality traits and found extraversion, high neuroticism, low conscientiousness and high psychoticism to be positively correlated with engaging in infidelity [ 76 , 79 ]. The dual control model of sexual response suggests that one’s sexual behavior depends on the balance of sexual desire and inhibition; inhibition may be related to fear of performance failure or of possible consequences related to extradyadic sexual relations [ 80 ]. A number of studies have shown that the propensity for sexual excitation is related to sexual responsiveness, sexual desire levels, sexual compulsivity and a lifetime number of casual sexual partners. Sexual inhibition may be adaptive, but high levels of it may lead to sexual dysfunctions, while low levels may result in increased risky sexual behavior [ 81 ].

In their 2011 study, Mark et al., found that up to 22% of people engaged in extradyadic relationships [ 82 ]. They found that perceived sexual compatibility and happiness in a relationship were significant predictors of infidelity in women, while age, marital status and the importance of religion did not significantly affect one’s proclivity for affairs. They also found that a stronger tendency to lose one’s sexual arousal when facing possible risks serves as a protective effect for engaging in infidelity. Interestingly, they found that experiencing sexual problems in their extradyadic relationship was less threatening for individuals with arousal difficulties. The authors propose that perhaps these individuals are less concerned with their sexual performance with a partner to whom they are not emotionally committed to or one they have been with for a long time. As can be expected, they found that higher levels of sexual excitation were associated with increased sexual risk-taking behaviors, particularly in men. Women were found to be more likely to engage in infidelity when they were dissatisfied in their relationship or felt that they were sexually incompatible with their partner, which may point to the interconnection of sexual and relationship factors in increasing the possibility of infidelity. In other words, if a woman is unsatisfied with her current relationship, she may seek intimacy and closeness somewhere else. An interesting finding of Mark et al.’s study was that sexual excitation did not predict involvement in infidelity for women [ 82 ]. That may support the notion that women’s sexual infidelity is less motivated by sexual needs, arousability or desire, while in men, this is often not the case.

5.1.3. Relationships

Decreased satisfaction in a present relationship is closely related to infidelity amongst married people [ 83 ]. When commitment is not central to the relationship, that too contributes to infidelity [ 4 ]. Interestingly, cohabitation before marriage was found to be positively associated with infidelity [ 84 ].

5.1.4. Context

The gender gap in infidelity of married couples is ascribed to women’s increased presence in the working world. There, the woman spends many daily hours working closely with the opposite sex and interacting about issues and topics that they both seem to value. Moreover, when one spouse works out of the home and the other stays at home, the chances of infidelity increase [ 85 ]. In the last twenty years, the internet has provided increased opportunity for infidelity. Up to 30% of internet users go online for sexual purposes, and up to two-thirds of them engage in offline sexual intercourse with their online partner [ 86 ].

5.1.5. Marital Deception

Dew et al., explored two kinds of marital deceptions: financial marital deception (FMD) and extramarital infidelity (EMI) [ 87 ]. EMI was well researched, while MFD was much less so. Interestingly, one may bring about the other. Social exchange theory (SET), which originated in social psychology’s interpersonal relationship area, and was pioneered by Thibault and Kelley, asserted the rewards, costs and expectations that partners have of their relationship, which may entice them to remain with their partner, modify the relationship or leave all together [ 88 ]. Nye observed that each spouse evaluates the “outcomes”, meaning the costs and benefits entailed in their marriage [ 89 ]. Then, the spouses compare the outcomes to those to which they expect to receive in that relationship, which are termed in SET, the comparison level, or CL; this will determine whether the spouse will remain in the marriage. If a spouse finds that his or her marital outcomes exceed the CL, they will be satisfied with the relationship and remain in it. However, if a spouse’s outcomes fall beneath their CL, they will become dissatisfied with the relationship and may seek to change or terminate it. This may lead to relationships out of the marital union, remaining in the relationship despite a lowered satisfaction level or leaving the relationship. Dissatisfied spouses will engage in what was termed “comparison level of the alternative” (CLalt), which may lead them to leave the relationship.

5.1.6. Moral Commitment

To remain in the marriage was found to be negatively associated with EMI and possibly MFD. Most people, at least in Western countries, want marital fidelity and plan to avoid EMI. They want to behave in a way that upholds marital norms and/or their wedding vows to their spouse, and to remain loyal to them [ 90 ]. Personal dedication to one’s marriage, and the desire to make it succeed, is a type of commitment to the marriage, which is separate from moral commitment, since dedication is focused particularly on increasing the rewards and happiness of the couple [ 91 ]. Personal dedication, then, may make it less likely for marital dissatisfaction to occur when its outcomes fall below the CL. This may lead to a situation in which a spouse may be dissatisfied with the marriage, but viewing it as a long-term commitment will motivate them to invest in it and be less interested in alternative relationships, despite their present unhappiness [ 92 ]. Recent research about MFD and EMI found that personal dedication commitment (in the form of marital stability and trust of one’s partner) is negatively associated with MFD [ 87 ]. Additionally, personal dedication commitment is associated with a lower level of sexually unfaithful behaviors [ 93 ]. Religiosity was also found to be associated with a better marital relationship, since most religions hold marriage to be sacred and special. This may stem from religious peoples’ hesitation to violate something that they believe is sacred, particularly when they are part of a religious community which does not condone infidelity and unfaithfulness [ 94 ]. Dew et al., also found that those who engaged in minor EMI, such as flirting, had an increased likelihood of engaging in EMI with the person with whom they flirted, in addition to increased chances of engaging in MFD, since marriages that are growing in a positive direction provide less motivation to engage in EMI [ 93 , 95 ].

6. The Effect of Infidelity in Cyberspace

Social media sites are platforms where users generate and post their own content to create and maintain virtual relationships [ 96 ]. These platforms are very popular, as indicated by, for example, Facebook’s 2.45 billion active monthly users [ 97 ]. These popular platforms contribute to increased opportunities for infidelity [ 98 ]. In her research, Adam found that flirting or sexual behavior conducted via social media is indeed perceived similarly not only to cyber-sexual behaviors but also to physical sexual infidelity, which is similarly hurtful to romantic relationships [ 98 ].

6.1. Infidelity and COVID-19

When discussing infidelity, we would be remiss if we did not review research that assessed infidelity during the pandemic that swept the world just a short time ago. Gordon and Mitchell asserted that COVID increased the chance that people would be involved in infidelity, particularly in light of the stress that was brought about by the pandemic [ 99 ]. These challenges may potentially have resulted in lower relational and sexual satisfaction, which may justify—in the eyes of a partner—becoming involved in an affair [ 100 ]. While social distancing was practiced during the pandemic, and has consequently decreased the opportunities for physical contact with affair partners, the use of virtual apps to stay connected (e.g., Face Time, Zoom, and Skype) drastically increased during this time and may be more likely to be used to contact affair partners than prior to the pandemic [ 101 ]. Dating sites have flourished, and they have also been utilized as an opportunity to get involved in affairs [ 102 ]. Infidelity may have devastating consequences for the couple, and those discovered during the pandemic may have a greater possibility to cause negative consequences [ 99 ]. Anxiety and depression, which are known to follow the discovery of an affair, may be exacerbated due to the pandemic, which by itself is liable to cause such a reaction [ 103 ]. Significant financial loss, which occurred frequently due to closures of work sites and limited operations or unemployment, may also precipitate infidelity [ 103 ].

6.2. How Does COVID-19 Impact Affair Recovery?

The pandemic may have made recovering from infidelity more complicated. During that time, the couple’s access to healthcare resources and social support, such as their friends and confidants, was more restricted; thus, addressing the emotional injury that an affair caused was much more difficult [ 104 ]. Additionally, couples who focused on decreasing their anxiety and stress caused by the pandemic, dealing with financial concerns and spending their mental and emotional energies on struggling to survive during such a difficult time may have been less able to cope with difficulties caused by an affair [ 105 ]. Heightened emotional arousal resulting from both the pandemic and the affair may make it more difficult for couples to effectively regulate their emotions during this time, which may slow or even inhibit the healing process, as the couple may be more irritable and liable to strike out at the slightest provocation [ 106 ]. Additionally, while it is common for couples to take a break from each other (either by spending more time apart, or even moving to a different house for a period) after the discovery of an affair, the pandemic made such a break impossible due to strict rules related to social distancing. This may have seriously disturbed the healing time that such a separation provided [ 104 ].

Gordon and Mitchell observed that while communication is an important factor in healing, constantly discussing the affair and the details of the extradyadic relationship may be more harmful than helpful to healing, as partners may not yet be emotionally ready to discuss them [ 99 ]. Infidelity is a much-stigmatized phenomenon and responses such as shame, shock, anger, hurt and despair may result in constant friction at home. These intense emotions need space and time to be expressed and processed; being together 24/7 disallows this. Additionally, couples try to hide the affair from their children; this was especially true during the pandemic. Partners constantly being at home while dealing with infidelity and its aftermath means that these conflicts may have easily been overheard by the children, increasing their anxiety and familial stress.

An important component of the recovery process is rebuilding the trust that was lost as a result of the affair. This is, usually, a slow process which requires a concerted effort on the part of both partners, which is often not linear [ 104 ]. One of the first steps in rebuilding trust is for the “offending” partner to stop seeing the affair partner, which may require changing where one goes to the gym, shopping, etc. The pandemic has changed all of this. On the one hand, the strict social distancing rules may have decreased the chance that affair partners would continue to meet, but on the other hand, various forms of virtual contact may have continued [ 106 ].

Gordon and Mitchell concluded their study by observing that “infidelity is a wrenching and devastating event that is difficult for couples to navigate even under the best of circumstances [ 99 ]. Experiencing this relational trauma during a global pandemic that is also traumatic with far-reaching social and economic consequences is even more overwhelming. This context can intensify and exacerbate normal emotional reactions to affairs and complicates efforts toward recovery. Couples will need to dig deep and intentionally build emotional resources to meet these challenges. However, all is not lost in this context and there is hope for couples’ recovery during this time. After many years of working with couples to deal with the discovery of an affair, we have found that couples can be astonishingly resilient…Thus, COVID-19’s vast and life-changing impacts can create added challenges and barriers in couples emotional and social lives, but as the cliche suggests, it also can create opportunities for immense growth for these couples and the clinicians who are trying to help them” [ 99 ].

6.3. Therapists Addressing Infidelity: Challenges and Attitudes

As infidelity remains one of the major causes of divorce, it is essential that therapists are trained to help couples deal with what can be a devastating personal and relational experience [ 107 ]. Irvine and Peluso explored therapists’ subjective experiences with treating affairs [ 108 ]. Professional guidelines, such as those of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy or the American Psychological Association, state that therapists are expected to practice competently when treating individuals or couples [ 109 , 110 ]. Given the complex and morally laden nature of affairs, therapists may confront challenges that can significantly impact treatment outcomes. Among those challenges, the therapist may experience countertransference and then over-identify with one partner, which will hamper their neutral position as a counselor [ 111 ]. Garza conducted a study that revealed that therapists’ attitudes toward infidelity can clearly influence their treatment decisions [ 112 ]. Specifically, therapists with more negative views towards infidelity guided the couple in reducing environmental risk factors (e.g., limiting Internet access) related to the affair, rather than addressing larger processes that impacted the couple’s presenting issue. Other struggles that therapists face when dealing with clients facing infidelity may involve their need to strike a balance between addressing the needs of both partners while exploring the underlying causes of the affair. Additional challenges that emerge from this process include having to establish trust and forgiveness between the partners healing from the emotional injury, which could resemble symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder such as hypervigilance and increased distress [ 113 ].

Irvine and Peluso were interested in exploring a myriad of therapist-related factors that impact counseling for couples faced with infidelity [ 108 ]. These included influences such as the personal and professional experiences and histories of therapists who treated infidelity, and the challenges they faced when treating couples in these circumstances. They found that the specific experiences of the counselor directly impact the competency of treatment for those recovering from a romantic affair. Therapists who had attended infidelity training, held their license for more than 16 years, held a doctoral degree and were licensed to practice marriage and family therapy showed the highest levels of comfort, preparedness, effectiveness and confidence in treating infidelity [ 113 ]. In turn, four factors in couples were identified by Irvine and Peluso that negatively affect recovery from romantic affairs [ 108 ]. This included things such as the betrayal continuing while the couple was in therapy, an unwillingness to commit to therapy, continual blame and resentment towards each other without forgiveness.

Ultimately, further training related to the issue of infidelity is suggested for clinicians working with couples [ 108 ]. Research has shown that the vast majority of therapists have never received any courses on infidelity, and that this had hampered their perceived competence when treating such individuals [ 114 ] Several factors which may impede effective treatment delivery have been identified by Irvine and Peluso [ 108 ]. These factors included learning how to manage one’s countertransference reactions, knowing how to address trauma and manage emotional reactivity, possessing clinical experience and balancing needs that arise in the process of therapy.

7. Conclusions

Clearly, the consequential effects of infidelity vary widely according to the type of extradyadic behavior performed, in combination with the demographic and interpersonal factors of the people in question. Men and women react to emotional and sexual infidelity differently, as research suggests that women tend to judge more behaviors as unfaithful, while men hold more permissive attitudes towards extramarital sex [ 17 ]. This may be explained by evolutionary psychology as the genders’ attempt to protect their union and offspring. Additionally, the literature on infidelity has also shown that younger people express greater negative attitudes toward infidelity and more often perceive sexual behaviors as infidelity than older people [ 115 ]. This is further supported by the work of Varga et al., who observed that age may have a moderating effect on the gender differences concerning sexual versus emotional jealousy [ 116 ]. Researchers further suggest that individuals who are most likely to commit infidelity are more educated, wealthier and less tied to a religious faith [ 74 ].

Infidelity may not only have a destructive impact on the relationship leading to separation or divorce; it can also negatively affect one’s emotional wellbeing by enhancing depressive symptoms, highlighting low self-esteem and promoting remorse in the unfaithful party [ 3 ]. This type of attachment injury could impose psychological and emotional dysregulation for those facing these circumstances, which may emulate symptoms of conditions such as depression, anxiety and AD [ 28 , 30 , 38 , 41 , 51 , 53 ]. The impact of this life-altering event challenges the person’s sense of self, safety and trust in another who is supposed to be their “secure base” for love and adoration [ 29 , 31 ]. Thus, infidelity leaves some at risk of turning towards unhealthy coping mechanisms such as excessive drinking, drug use, unprotected sex, and suicidal behavior in response to their emotional pain [ 63 , 64 , 70 , 117 ].

Overall, it is clear that the implications of a romantic affair have a substantial impact on one’s life beyond their intimate relationships. Clinicians are encouraged to seek professional training when treating couples afflicted by infidelity and to be conscious about how their own moral and personal views related to the matter could impact their clients’ recovery from these circumstances [ 108 ]. Scuka suggests clinicians normalize the experience of infidelity for their clients, as this can serve as the first step in identifying realistic expectations for the healing process [ 118 ]. However, communication regarding the details of an extradyadic affair should be guided between partners, as Gordon and Mitchell stress the importance of being emotionally ready for those conversations [ 99 ]. Therefore, it is recommended that therapists should be mindful of integrating high levels of sensitivity, care and honesty in these sessions to facilitate appropriate closure for those impacted by infidelity.

Funding Statement

This research received no external funding.

Author Contributions

Conceptualization, A.R. and S.H.C.; methodology, software, formal analysis, resources, data curation, investigation, writing—original draft preparation, writing—review and editing, visualization, A.R. and S.H.C.; supervision, project administration, A.R. All authors have read and agreed to the published version of the manuscript.

Informed Consent Statement

Not applicable.

Conflicts of Interest

The authors declare no conflict of interest.

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