girl writes college essay on costco

Essay About Love for Costco Wins Student Admission to Five Ivies

A college essay about one teen's drive to explore life — as well as her deep and abiding love for Costco — has won over admissions counselors at six of the most prestigious schools in the U.S.

Brittany Stinson, an 18-year-old senior at Concord High School in Wilmington, Delaware, found out last week that she got into five Ivy League universities — Yale, Columbia, University of Pennsylvania, Dartmouth, and Cornell — as well as the similarly competitive Stanford.

Stinson, the only child of Terry and Joe Stinson, neither of whom are Ivy League nor Stanford graduates themselves, wants to be a doctor, and her mother says she has always been a strong student.

Special section: Get tips and advice about college at College Game Plan

“She’s always gotten straight As, takes the most rigorous courses she can, and is first in her class,” Terry Stinson, a Brazilian immigrant who became an American citizen only a few years ago, told NBC News.

Aside from her academics, Stinson's unusual essay made her college application stand out.

In response to the essay question, which asks students to share a "background, identity, interest or talent that is so meaningful," their application would be incomplete without it, Stinson described her admiration for America's largest wholesale warehouse — and how "the kingdom of Costco" was symbolic of so much more in her life.

“Just as I sampled buffalo ­chicken dip or chocolate truffles, I probed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of the ideal cart–one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both silly and serious,” she wrote. “I sampled calculus, cross-­country running, scientific research, all of which are now household favorites. With cart in hand, I do what scares me; I absorb the warehouse that is the world.”

Writing about Costco felt natural to her, she told NBC News.

“I had always gone to Costco while growing up. It was a constant part of my childhood. I Iooked forward to trips on the weekends, and I had always treated it as a Disneyland of sorts. I was always curious about the place. The same attitude carried over to everything I tried in life,” she said.

While it was risky to write about something so outlandish, Stinson felt like she needed something to stand out amid other applicants with similar grades, extracurriculars, and SAT scores.

“I couldn’t afford to go via the traditional route. I would actually be more worried about taking a traditional route at the risk of blending in with other applicants,” Stinson said. “I knew that writing about my experiences at Costco would at least make for a memorable essay, whether [admissions committees] loved or hated it. On another hand, I felt that the essay ended up being such an accurate representation of me and my personality.”

Related: After Bouncing Between Foster Homes, Golf Caddie Gets Full Ride to College

Stinson’s father, Joe, said he believes his daughter’s greatest strengths are “her fortitude and tenacity, to choose among many.” Her English teacher for the past two years, Leslie Wagner of Concord High School, says writing is one of those strengths too.

“Brittany has always had a knack for finding just the right phrase. She has a quiet demeanor overall, but in her writing her wit and her skill with language is quite apparent,” Wagner told NBC News.

Now, Stinson has a tough choice ahead of her. She said she has “no clue” which of the universities that admitted her she will choose.

“Admitted student day visits are going to be so vital. We’ll also be comparing financial aid packages,” she said.

Read Brittany Stinson's full essay below, reprinted with her permission:

Managing to break free from my mother’s grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two­ year old rampaging through Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother’s eyes widened in horror as I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon­-sugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while I continued my spree. I sprinted through the aisles, looking up in awe at the massive bulk products that towered over me. Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrial­sized freezers, to explore every crevice. I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco.

Notorious for its oversized portions and dollar-­fifty hot dog combo, Costco is the apex of consumerism. From the days spent being toted around in a shopping cart to when I was finally tall enough to reach lofty sample trays, Costco has endured a steady presence throughout my life. As a veteran Costco shopper, I navigate the aisles of foodstuffs, thrusting the majority of my weight upon a generously filled shopping cart whose enormity juxtaposes my small frame. Over time, I’ve developed a habit of observing fellow patrons tote their carts piled with frozen burritos, cheese puffs, tubs of ice cream, and weight-­loss supplements. Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well­-mannered than its uncultured counterpart? Costco gave birth to my unfettered curiosity.

While enjoying an obligatory hot dog, I did not find myself thinking about the ‘all beef’ goodness that Costco boasted. I instead considered finitudes and infinitudes, unimagined uses for tubs of sour cream, the projectile motion of said tub when launched from an eighty foot shelf or maybe when pushed from a speedy cart by a scrawny seventeen year old. I contemplated the philosophical: If there exists a thirty-­three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will? I experienced a harsh physics lesson while observing a shopper who had no evident familiarity of inertia's workings. With a cart filled to overflowing, she made her way towards the sloped exit, continuing to push and push while steadily losing control until the cart escaped her and went crashing into a concrete column, 52” plasma screen TV and all. Purchasing the yuletide hickory smoked ham inevitably led to a conversation between my father and me about Andrew Jackson’s controversiality. There was no questioning Old Hickory’s dedication; he was steadfast in his beliefs and pursuits – qualities I am compelled to admire, yet his morals were crooked. We both found the ham to be more likeable–and tender.

I adopted my exploratory skills, fine tuned by Costco, towards my intellectual endeavors. Just as I sampled buffalo­-chicken dip or chocolate truffles, I probed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of the ideal cart–one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both silly and serious. I sampled calculus, cross­-country running, scientific research, all of which are now household favorites. With cart in hand, I do what scares me; I absorb the warehouse that is the world. Whether it be through attempting aerial yoga, learning how to chart blackbody radiation using astronomical software, or dancing in front of hundreds of people, I am compelled to try any activity that interests me in the slightest.

My intense desire to know, to explore beyond the bounds of rational thought; this is what defines me. Costco fuels my insatiability and cultivates curiosity within me at a cellular level. Encoded to immerse myself in the unknown, I find it difficult to complacently accept the “what”; I want to hunt for the “whys” and dissect the “hows”. In essence, I subsist on discovery.

Student writes college essay about Costco, accepted into five Ivies

If a superstore has impacted your life, you might want to write about it.

It seems 18-year-old high school senior Brittany Stinson submitted an essay about her love for Costco and got some pretty good responses, specifically, a big "yes" from the University of Pennsylvania, Yale University, Dartmouth College, Columbia University and Cornell University, according to NBCnews.com .

Oh, and she also got in to Stanford.

RELATED New York teen accepted to all eight Ivy League schools

When asked why she chose Costco as her essay topic, Stinson told NBC  that Costco has always been a part of her childhood and that going to Costco was like going to Disneyland.

Read Stinson’s amazing essay here .

Sam Lisker is a student at Ithaca College and a USA TODAY College digital producer.

This story originally appeared on the USA TODAY College blog, a news source produced for college students by student journalists. The blog closed in September of 2017.

• The Inventory

A high schooler was accepted to five Ivy League colleges with an essay about Costco

It took just a few short hours on Apr. 1 for Concord High School senior Brittany Stinson to go viral. Not because she staged an epic prank—though more than a few skeptics assumed that her sudden notoriety was an April Fool’s Day fakeout—but for her very real, decidedly eccentric college applications essay that helped garner her admission to five Ivy League colleges and Stanford University.

The essay isn’t your typical exercise in academic humblebragging or lofty save-the-world aspiration: It’s a nostalgic, free-form musing on the  joys of shopping at Costco with her mom . And while it shows a young essayist’s tendency to overwrite (the Achilles heel of some of us older wordsmiths as well), it also provides insight into a mind that takes creative risks and thinks with expansive originality.

Coming as it does in the thick of a heated debate over  “holistic” evaluation standards  at elite colleges—admissions practices that extend beyond comparing grades and scores to include assessments of character and the impact of background and cultural identity on a student’s academic journey—Stinson’s essay has generated a whirling array of reactions. After being posted on Business Insider last week, her essay was read over a million times and shared many thousands more on social media.

Many have found it charming and compelling, while others have attacked it as an example of the antics holistic admissions practices encourage among applicants hoping to stand out. The truth is, these two opinions aren’t mutually exclusive. Stinson’s SAT scores were in the high 90-something percentile (she wouldn’t say exactly her score) and she’s on track to graduate as her class’s valedictorian. Meanwhile, she participated in highly competitive STEM programs, loaded up on AP classes, was a competitive cross-country runner, and an active participant in her local community.

“I’d definitely fit in with the nerds, although the kids at our school would probably categorize us as the overachievers, instead,” Stinson says. “I’d like to study neuroscience in college. I volunteered in a research lab working on a genetics project at the University of Delaware. This was one of my favorite extracurriculars. I’m definitely pursuing research in college.”

All of these factors mark her as a strong candidate for an elite university. Of course, tens of thousands of other applicants had similarly outstanding academic and extracurricular profiles this year. Stinson’s essay, however, must have suggested to schools that she would bring with her a unique and interesting point of view.

Stinson acknowledges that her status as the daughter of a Brazilian immigrant mother who identifies as black, and a white US-born father, likely gave her admissions case a boost.

“I did declare my race and ethnicity on my applications. I think my background likely made my application stand out and impacted it positively,” she says, noting that she is also a proponent of affirmative action policies. “Many who criticize affirmative action think that nearly all minority admitted students are somehow less qualified, undeserving, or that ‘they took a spot’ from a more deserving non-minority student. I think that affirmative action makes a well-qualified minority student stand out, but it will never cause an unqualified student to be admitted. Non-minorities are still benefiting from a system built in their favor.”

At the same time, as clearly evidenced by Stinson, striving for diversity isn’t just about redress for past and present inequities. It’s also about bringing together a group of people with different ways of looking at the world—people who will spend four or more years side by side, learning from and being shaped by fresh and unique perspectives.

”College is a place where we learn just as much outside the classroom as we do inside,” says Stinson. “By being exposed to people of different races, socioeconomic backgrounds, cultures, and religions, we can learn from their experiences. Diversity enriches an education.”

While surprised that her essay has received so much attention, Stinson said she thinks it may have resonated because of the universality of its thesis.

“I’ve seen negative comments online from people who weren’t familiar with the literary devices I was trying to use. I’ve seen people say that it’s ‘ridiculous’ that my essay involved Costco, but I don’t think they’ve even scratched the surface,” she says. “They think that in order for an essay to have depth, it needs to involve tragedy, inspiration, or overcoming adversity. I don’t know if many applicants usually explore the mundane in their essays—that seems to have taken a lot of people by surprise. I thought that this essay was a genuine representation of myself: I’m a sarcastic, dorky weirdo with a passion for science and I tried to demonstrate that I’m the kind of person who finds meaning in seemingly ordinary things.”

Which might well be the perfect summary of the college experience: It’s a chapter in life during which young people go off to find meaning in seemingly ordinary things—most particularly, in other people.

For universities, this means recruiting student bodies that represent the best and brightest of a world of worlds: Diversity of heritage and faith, of nationality and culture, of class and familial background, and yes, of race and ethnicity.

Evaluating students by scores and grades alone can’t deliver on that promise. Only by understanding the person behind the scholarly achievements, and the context in which they were earned, can universities build a student body that reflects the kaleidoscopic array of ideas, traditions, and perspectives of our increasingly global society. Which means that those who  attack holistic admissions  fail to recognize that diversity isn’t an irrelevant factor in the making of an elite college education—it is, as Stinson points out, the very thing that makes these schools worth attending.

Here is Stinson’s essay, republished below with her permission:

Prompt 1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. Managing to break free from my mother’s grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two­ year old rampaging through Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother’s eyes widened in horror as I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon-­sugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while I continued my spree. I sprinted through the aisles, looking up in awe at the massive bulk products that towered over me. Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrial­ sized freezers, to explore every crevice. I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco. Notorious for its oversized portions and dollar-­fifty hot dog combo, Costco is the apex of consumerism. From the days spent being toted around in a shopping cart to when I was finally tall enough to reach lofty sample trays, Costco has endured a steady presence throughout my life. As a veteran Costco shopper, I navigate the aisles of foodstuffs, thrusting the majority of my weight upon a generously filled shopping cart whose enormity juxtaposes my small frame. Over time, I’ve developed a habit of observing fellow patrons tote their carts piled with frozen burritos, cheese puffs, tubs of ice cream, and weight­-loss supplements. Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well­mannered than its uncultured counterpart? Costco gave birth to my unfettered curiosity.

While enjoying an obligatory hot dog, I did not find myself thinking about the “all beef” goodness that Costco boasted. I instead considered finitudes and infinitudes, unimagined uses for tubs of sour cream, the projectile motion of said tub when launched from an eighty foot shelf or maybe when pushed from a speedy cart by a scrawny seventeen year old. I contemplated the philosophical: If there exists a thirty-­three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will? I experienced a harsh physics lesson while observing a shopper who had no evident familiarity of inertia’s workings. With a cart filled to overflowing, she made her way towards the sloped exit, continuing to push and push while steadily losing control until the cart escaped her and went crashing into a concrete column, 52-inch plasma screen TV and all. Purchasing the yuletide hickory smoked ham inevitably led to a conversation between my father and me about Andrew Jackson’s controversiality. There was no questioning Old Hickory’s dedication; he was steadfast in his beliefs and pursuits—qualities I am compelled to admire, yet his morals were crooked. We both found the ham to be more likable–and tender. I adopted my exploratory skills, fine-tuned by Costco, towards my intellectual endeavors. Just as I sampled buffalo­-chicken dip or chocolate truffles, I probed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of the ideal cart–one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both silly and serious. I sampled calculus, cross­-country running, scientific research, all of which are now household favorites. With cart in hand, I do what scares me; I absorb the warehouse that is the world. Whether it be through attempting aerial yoga, learning how to chart blackbody radiation using astronomical software, or dancing in front of hundreds of people, I am compelled to try any activity that interests me in the slightest. My intense desire to know, to explore beyond the bounds of rational thought; this is what defines me. Costco fuels my insatiability and cultivates curiosity within me at a cellular level. Encoded to immerse myself in the unknown, I find it difficult to complacently accept the “what”; I want to hunt for the “whys” and dissect the “hows”. In essence, I subsist on discovery.

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Student writes college admissions essay about her love of Costco, gets into 5 Ivies

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Getting into the top colleges in the country is no easy feat — great grades, test scores, and extracurriculars all play a role. And then there is the college admissions essay, which gives students a chance to flaunt their SAT-worthy vocabularies while also attempting to stand out from the crowd.

For Brittany Stinson, an 18-year-old senior at Concord High School in Delaware, that essay just happened to be about her love of Costco; writing about the wholesale superstore helped earn her a place at five Ivy League universities — Yale, Columbia, University of Pennsylvania, Dartmouth, and Cornell — as well as Stanford.

The essay prompt asked students to write about a "background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful" that their application would be incomplete without it, NBC News reports . Stinson, who grew up going to Costco with her parents, described how "the kingdom of Costco" meant more to her than just inexpensive 12-packs of paper towels.

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"Just as I sampled buffalo ­chicken dip or chocolate truffles, I probed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of the ideal cart — one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both silly and serious. I sampled calculus, cross-­country running, scientific research, all of which are now household favorites. With cart in hand, I do what scares me; I absorb the warehouse that is the world," Stinson wrote.

"I couldn't afford to go via the traditional route," she explained to NBC. "I knew that writing about my experiences at Costco would at least make for a memorable essay, whether [admissions committees] loved or hated it. On another hand, I felt that the essay ended up being such an accurate representation of me and my personality."

Stinson has yet to decide which school she will attend.

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Jeva Lange was the executive editor at TheWeek.com. She formerly served as The Week 's deputy editor and culture critic. She is also a contributor to Screen Slate , and her writing has appeared in The New York Daily News , The Awl , Vice, and Gothamist , among other publications. Jeva lives in New York City. Follow her on Twitter .

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Read the College Essay About Costco That Got This Senior Into 5 Ivy League Schools

From Cosmopolitan

Meet Brittany Stinson, an 18-year-old senior at Concord High School in Wilmington, Delaware, who just last week found out she got into Yale, Columbia, University of Pennsylvania, Dartmouth, Cornell, Columbia, and Stanford. What is so special about Stinson, you might ask? Besides the fact she's undoubtedly an excellent student, she wrote her college essay on Costco. Yes, Costco.

"I'm sort of still in shock. I don't think I've processed everything yet," she told Business Insider , with whom she shared the entire essay.

The Common Application prompt was: "Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story." Stinson felt her background as a "Costco veteran" was meaningful enough to share and she was right.

Her essay begins:

Managing to break free from my mother's grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two­ year old rampaging through Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother's eyes widened in horror as I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon ­sugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while I continued my spree. I sprinted through the aisles, looking up in awe at the massive bulk products that towered over me. Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrial­-sized freezers, to explore every crevice. I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco. Notorious for its oversized portions and dollar-­fifty hot dog combo, Costco is the apex of consumerism. From the days spent being toted around in a shopping cart to when I was finally tall enough to reach lofty sample trays, Costco has endured a steady presence throughout my life. As a veteran Costco shopper, I navigate the aisles of foodstuffs, thrusting the majority of my weight upon a generously filled shopping cart whose enormity juxtaposes my small frame. Over time, I've developed a habit of observing fellow patrons tote their carts piled with frozen burritos, cheese puffs, tubs of ice cream, and weight-­loss supplements. Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well­-mannered than its uncultured counterpart? Costco gave birth to my unfettered curiosity.

It takes a brilliant creature to elevate stuffing your face with free samples to a metaphor about having an appetite for life and approaching obstacles with curiosity instead of fear, but that's exactly what she did. You can read her essay in full over on Business Insider ... and spend the rest of the day thinking about what you plan to accomplish with the rest of your life.

Follow Tess on Twitter .

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The girl who got into 5 ivies and stanford with a unique essay about costco finally made her choice.

(Brittany Stinson) Brittany Stinson. Brittany Stinson, the high-school senior whose unique essay on Costco secured her admission into five Ivy League schools and Stanford, has finally made her decision.

"I'm going to Stanford!" she told Business Insider.

Stinson, whose Ivy acceptances were to Yale, Columbia, the University of Pennsylvania, Dartmouth, and Cornell, said her decision ultimately came down to where she felt the best fit, since all of the schools are academic powerhouses.

"All those schools have equal academic prowess, so it honestly came down to fit and location," she said.

For Stinson, the appeal of the West Coast, as well as Stanford's stellar science programs led her to decide on the Cardinal.

While Stinson plans to major in neuroscience, she was also impressed by Stanford's range of course offerings.

"It has strength in science and also the humanities," she said. "They have a lot of interdisciplinary classes and majors, so that really appealed to me too."

For her admission's essay, Stinson crafted a lighthearted reflection of her inquisitive personality, told against a backdrop of her childhood trips to Costco. The essay went viral after she shared with with Business Insider. Read her essay here »

Stinson, who is also valedictorian of her Concord High School class, is grateful some of the interest in her essay has begun to recede.

"When it reached its peak — oh my goodness — it was kind of overwhelming," she said. "I'm glad it's died down."

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Student Accepted Into 5 Ivy League Schools After Penning Essay About Her Love of Costco

— -- One student credits her essay about her love of Costco for the reason she was accepted into five Ivy League universities, among others.

Brittany Stinson, 18, a high school senior at Concord High School in Wilmington, Delaware, was accepted into Columbia, Cornell, Dartmouth, Yale and University of Pennsylvania.

The teen said she thinks what set her apart from other applicants was the essay in her college application that detailed her love of Costco.

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The essay prompt that Stinson responded to asked students to share "a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it."

Stinson's essay began, "Managing to break free from my mother's grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two­ year old rampaging through Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother's eyes widened in horror as I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon­sugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while I continued my spree."

"I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples," it continued. "Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco."

Stinson said she was inspired to write about the big-box store because she wanted her applications to be unique.

"The essay is really where it's important to show your personality and what gets you going," she told ABC News. "I knew that an essay about Costco would certainly be memorable -- whether the admissions' officer liked it or not."

Stinson was accepted into five Ivy League institutions, along with prestigious schools such as Stanford, Johns Hopkins, Northwestern, Boston University and New York University, which she said was her safety school.

It also didn't hurt that Stinson had a 4.0 GPA, took eight Advanced Placement classes, was the vice president of the Science Honors Society and the president of the National Honors Society at her school. The teen said she also volunteers at a local hospital and worked with a University of Delaware professor on a genetics research project.

Stinson told ABC News she'll decide which college she'll attend after doing campus tours later this month, but so far she really likes Yale, Stanford or Dartmouth.

For now, she has decided on a major: Neuroscience.

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Student Gets Into 5 Ivies With College Essay About Love for Costco

Published april 6, 2016 • updated on april 6, 2016 at 2:39 pm.

An 18-year-old senior at Concord High School in Wilmington, Delaware, was accepted into five Ivy League schools and another prestigious university after writing a "memorable essay" describing her admiration for America's largest wholesale warehouse, NBC News reported.

Brittany Stinson got into Yale, Columbia, University of Pennsylvania, Dartmouth, Cornell and Stanford. The straight-A student tells NBC News that writing about Costco felt natural to her.

"I had always gone to Costco while growing up. It was a constant part of my childhood. I looked forward to trips on the weekends, and I had always treated it as a Disneyland of sorts. I was always curious about the place. The same attitude carried over to everything I tried in life," Stinson said. 

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Breaking news, this teen’s comic essay about costco got her into five ivy league schools.

No need to be an all-American athlete and lead in the high school musical who’s able to recite Chaucer in perfect Middle English to get into an Ivy League school — just head to Costco!

A Delaware teen got into five Ivies — Yale, Columbia, University of Pennsylvania, Dartmouth and Cornell — after penning an essay about her admiration for America’s largest members-only wholesale club.

Brittany Stinson’s 655-word ode to Costco was a response to a Common Application admissions essay question that asked applicants to share something that was so important that their lives would feel “incomplete without it.”

“I had always gone to Costco growing up — it was a constant part of my childhood,” the 17-year-old told NBC News. “I looked forward to trips on the weekends and I had always treated it as Disneyland of sorts. I was always curious about the place.”

“The same attitude carried over to everything I tried in life,” she added.

Stinson opened the essay, which she released in full to Business Insider , with her earliest memories of going grocery shopping with her mother.

“Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrialized freezers, to explore every crevice,” she wrote. “I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples.”

‘If there exists a thirty-three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will?’  - Brittany Stinson

As she got older, she began thinking more metaphysically about the weekly trips.

“I contemplated the philosophical: If there exists a thirty-three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will?” she asked.

Stinson said she often found herself lost in thought about the bulk sizes Costco offered its customers — crediting the nationwide chain with kickstarting her “unfettered curiosity” in life.

“Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well-mannered than its uncultured counterpart?”

The variety of options on the shelves also enhanced her exploratory skills.

“Just as I sampled buffalo chicken dip or chocolate truffles, I probed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of the ideal cart — one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both silly and serious,” she wrote.

“With cart in hand, I do what scares me; I absorb the warehouse that is the world,” she continued. “Whether it be through attempting aerial yoga, learning how to chart blackbody radiation using astronomical software, or dancing in front of hundreds of people, I am compelled to try any activity that interests me in the slightest.”

The straight-A student from Wilmington found out last week that she got into the Ivies — along with a sixth top-tier school, Stanford — that have acceptance rates ranging from Stanford’s 4.69 percent to Cornell’s 13.96 percent.

“Incredibly difficult decisions soon to come,” she wrote on her Facebook page last Thursday.

The girl who got into 5 Ivies and Stanford with a unique essay about Costco finally made her choice

Brittany Stinson, the high-school senior whose unique  essay on Costco secured her admission into five Ivy League schools and Stanford, has finally made her decision.

"I'm going to Stanford!" she told Business Insider.

Stinson, whose Ivy acceptances were to  Yale, Columbia, the University of Pennsylvania, Dartmouth, and Cornell,  said her decision ultimately came down to where she felt the best fit, since all of the schools are academic powerhouses.

"All those schools have equal academic prowess, so it honestly came down to fit and location," she said.

For Stinson, the appeal of the West Coast, as well as Stanford's stellar science programs led her to decide on The Cardinal.

While Stinson plans to major in neuroscience, she was also impressed by Stanford's range of course offerings.

"It has strength in science and also the humanities," she said. "They have a lot of interdisciplinary classes and majors, so that really appealed to me too."

For her admission's essay, Stinson crafted a lighthearted reflection of her inquisitive personality, told against a backdrop of her childhood trips to Costco. The essay went viral after she shared with with Business Insider. Read her essay here »

Stinson, who is also valedictorian of her Concord High School class, is grateful some of the interest in her essay has begun to recede.

"When it reached its peak — oh my goodness — it was kind of overwhelming," she said. "I'm glad it's died down." 

Watch: How a Wall Street chief strategist's Costco shopping experience explains the biggest misconception about global trade

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[Updated] A Teen Got Into 5 Ivy League Schools With This College Essay About Costco

" If there exists a 33 ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will."

High school senior Brittany Stinson wrote about her passion in her college essay, and it got her into five Ivy League schools.

Her passion just happens to be wholesale warehouse Costco. 

The prompt instructed applicants to write about "a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it." So, Brittany wrote about trips to Costco with her family, and now her essay is going viral.

"Costco has endured a steady presence throughout my life ... I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco," she writes in the essay , reprinted with her permission on Business Insider . " Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well­mannered than its uncultured counterpart? Costco gave birth to my unfettered curiosity."

Brittany, who in addition to being a great writer is also a straight-A student, told NBC News she doesn't know yet which school she'll attend but that she wants to be a doctor. Brittany was accepted to Yale, Columbia, University of Pennsylvania, Dartmouth, and Cornell — as well as Stanford.

"I had always gone to Costco while growing up. It was a constant part of my childhood. I Iooked forward to trips on the weekends, and I had always treated it as a Disneyland of sorts," she told the outlet. "I was always curious about the place. The same attitude carried over to everything I tried in life." 

We'll leave you with this deep nugget from the essay: 

" If there exists a thirty­three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will."

Update 4:25 p.m.:  A Costco spokesperson tells Seventeen.com: "We are flattered that Brittany would choose Costco as the backdrop for her entrance essay and wish her the very best as she considers these exceptional universities."

Kate Storey is the author of White House by the Sea: A Century of the Kennedys at Hyannis Port and the senior features editor at Rolling Stone . She was previously a staff writer at Esquire , where she covered culture and politics, and has written long-form profiles and narrative features for Vanity Fair , Marie Claire , Town & Country , and other publications. 

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ICYMI- Why The Costco College Essay Is Crucial Reading for Future College Applicants

At this point, it’s almost been impossible to avoid reading about the amazing Costco college essay that secured one lucky applicant admission to several Ivies and Stanford. It’s a great essay, but not everyone seems to understand why, so CEA Founder Stacey Brook broke it down and offered some lessons that everyone can take away from this well-executed piece of prose:

By now you have probably heard about or read the college essay by high schooler Brittany Stinson detailing how her routine trips to Costco shaped her life and world. In the piece, now officially at viral status , Stinson paints a vivid picture of how wandering up and down the aisles at her favorite big box store inspired her to ponder the addictive nature of Nutella, imagine physics experiments involving 3-pound tubs of sour cream and converse with her father about historical figures who share their aliases with giant hams . The essay is clever, warm and highly observant and introspective. If Costco is a kingdom, as Brittany claims, she is currently its reigning Queen. […]

The Business Insider piece that originally introduced Stinson’s essay to the world framed her success in their title: “This Essay Got a High School Senior Into 5 Ivy League Schools and Stanford.” As a college essay expert and advisor, I would love to be able to tell you that a college essay can get you into the school of your dreams. But the truth is, a wide array of factors are considered in admissions decisions and the essay is just one of them. And media attention that focuses exclusively on students who gain admission to multiple Ivy League Institutions sends the wrong message to students (and parents) about what is important and why they should pay attention to Stinson’s writing.

Stinson’s essay was not her ticket to admission. It was a thoughtfully crafted, brilliantly executed piece of a very complex puzzle. Still, the college essay is a highly significant piece of the puzzle in that it is one of the only opportunities students have to speak to admissions officers in their own voices and highlight something about their personalities or passions that allows them to stand our from other, similarly qualified candidates.

So what should students and parents take away from the Costco essay?

Read the rest at Huffington Post .

About Thea Hogarth

View all posts by Thea Hogarth »

Written by Thea Hogarth

Category: College Admissions , Essay Tips

Tags: advice , college acceptance , college applications , college essay , costco , huffington post , tips

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Student Writes Admissions Essay About Costco Hot Dogs; Gets Accepted by Stanford, 5 Ivies

Brittany Stinson is a high school senior who learned on Thursday that she has been accepted into Stanford University, as well as five Ivy League colleges and universities: Yale, Columbia, Dartmouth, Cornell and University of Pennsylvania. All six are elite colleges that are ultra-competitive and typically have low acceptance rates. In addition to stellar grades and top-tier SAT scores, applicants typically have to set themselves apart in the essay portion of an application. What did Stinson write about in hers? Costco and hot dogs .

Read more:  This Teen Got into Every Ivy League School — His Story Will Make You Admire Him Even More

"I'm sort of still in shock," Stinson told  Business Insider . "I don't think I've processed everything yet."

On her Common Application admissions essay, Stinson chose prompt No. 1, which tasked her to write about "a background, identity, interest or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it."

Stinson wrote about her experience visiting Costco with her mother, envisioning herself as a conquistador "searching the land for El Dorado" — in this case, free samples.

The seemingly innocuous act of consuming a $1.50 hot dog combo eventually leads her to believe Costco is the "apex of consumerism," evolving into a philosophical discussion on free will and Nutella, and how the experience paralleled with her academic interests and curricular proclivities.

Read Stinson's manifesto below, which she shared in full to Business Insider .

Managing to break free from my mother's grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two­ year old rampaging through Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother's eyes widened in horror as I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon­-sugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while I continued my spree. I sprinted through the aisles, looking up in awe at the massive bulk products that towered over me. Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrial-­sized freezers, to explore every crevice. I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco. 

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This High School Student Got Into 5 Ivy Leagues With a Brilliant Essay About . . . Costco?

The popular saying-turned-cliché "write what you know" has long been used as the steadfast rule for high school students and novelists alike. Well, for her college admissions essay, one high school senior did just that — and it turns out that she knows Costco . She knows Costco really well.

A current senior at Concord High School in Wilmington, DE, Brittany Stinson has garnered attention for her brilliant essay (since shared with Business Insider ) about the beloved wholesale store that ended up getting her into five Ivy League universities: Columbia, Dartmouth, Cornell, Yale, and the University of Pennsylvania. Stinson was also admitted to Stanford — which is known for its notoriously low acceptance rate.

In her essay, Stinson recognized Costco as the invariable "apex of consumerism" that it is but also as the sprawling space that nurtured her curiosity at a young age. Below, you can read her full essay, which continues to delight readers and prove that those acceptance letters were well-deserved.

Managing to break free from my mother's grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two­ year old rampaging through Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother's eyes widened in horror as I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon sugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while I continued my spree. I sprinted through the aisles, looking up in awe at the massive bulk products that towered over me. Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrial-sized freezers, to explore every crevice. I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco. Notorious for its oversized portions and dollar­fifty hot dog combo, Costco is the apex of consumerism. From the days spent being toted around in a shopping cart to when I was finally tall enough to reach lofty sample trays, Costco has endured a steady presence throughout my life. As a veteran Costco shopper, I navigate the aisles of foodstuffs, thrusting the majority of my weight upon a generously filled shopping cart whose enormity juxtaposes my small frame. Over time, I've developed a habit of observing fellow patrons tote their carts piled with frozen burritos, cheese puffs, tubs of ice cream, and weight­loss supplements. Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well-mannered than its uncultured counterpart? Costco gave birth to my unfettered curiosity. While enjoying an obligatory hot dog, I did not find myself thinking about the 'all beef' goodness that Costco boasted. I instead considered finitudes and infinitudes, unimagined uses for tubs of sour cream, the projectile motion of said tub when launched from an eighty foot shelf or maybe when pushed from a speedy cart by a scrawny seventeen year old. I contemplated the philosophical: If there exists a thirty-three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will? I experienced a harsh physics lesson while observing a shopper who had no evident familiarity of inertia's workings. With a cart filled to overflowing, she made her way towards the sloped exit, continuing to push and push while steadily losing control until the cart escaped her and went crashing into a concrete column, 52" plasma screen TV and all. Purchasing the yuletide hickory smoked ham inevitably led to a conversation between my father and me about Andrew Jackson's controversiality. There was no questioning Old Hickory's dedication; he was steadfast in his beliefs and pursuits — qualities I am compelled to admire, yet his morals were crooked. We both found the ham to be more likeable — and tender. I adopted my exploratory skills, fine tuned by Costco, towards my intellectual endeavors. Just as I sampled buffalo chicken dip or chocolate truffles, I probed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of the ideal cart — one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both silly and serious. I sampled calculus, cross country running, scientific research, all of which are now household favorites. With cart in hand, I do what scares me; I absorb the warehouse that is the world. Whether it be through attempting aerial yoga, learning how to chart blackbody radiation using astronomical software, or dancing in front of hundreds of people, I am compelled to try any activity that interests me in the slightest. My intense desire to know, to explore beyond the bounds of rational thought; this is what defines me. Costco fuels my insatiability and cultivates curiosity within me at a cellular level. Encoded to immerse myself in the unknown, I find it difficult to complacently accept the "what"; I want to hunt for the "whys" and dissect the "hows". In essence, I subsist on discovery.

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The Costco Essay Deconstructed

Article updated on November 15, 2019

Students searching for exemplary examples of college admissions essays may already be familiar with what has come to be known as The Costco Essay , but it is worth digging a little deeper to understand how this essay that “ got a high school senior in to 5 Ivy League colleges ” actually works.

Many people have noted that the essay alone did not get the student admitted to all these schools, rather it was the totality of her application. This is of course true! We have ourselves written extensively about the 11 distinct criteria colleges use to evaluate applicants, but the fact remains that when so many students have great grades and test scores, your college essays are clearly an important opportunity to stand out.

I caution all my students not to read an excessive amount of examples, because it can become overwhelming to compare too many glowing finished essays to one’s own blank page or early draft in progress.  But if you read in the right spirit, I believe a few examples can be both instructive and inspiring. I have tried to explain some of what I find compelling about the Costco Essay.

Prompt 1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Now more than ever, colleges are affirming the weight given to a student’s character as it comes through across all elements of an application. So have no illusions that grades and test scores make one applicant more qualified or deserving of admission to college than another. We are not looking at the whole application, but in addition to being well written, this essay demonstrates of the kind of character that Ivy League and all colleges want on their campus.

Thanks for reading!

Ready to write your personal statement with Peter and I as your coach? Good news, the next cohort of Write Your Way Into College starts soon. 

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Remember that Costco essay girl?

So y’all remember that girl who wrote her college app essay on Costco? Turns out we’re from the same (very small) state and that the Costco store she wrote about is the same exact one I shop at like every other week. It really is a small world sometimes!

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Costco essay that got girl into ivy league schools

By Farrar , April 4, 2016 in General Education Discussion Board

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My impression is that the essay and interview and other such components are often much bigger components when you're talking about grad school, though I suppose it depends on the program. I have the sense that the essay is little more than a way to decide between candidates that are pretty equal for undergrad in many places. I'm sure it depends though...

It's interesting how divided we were on this one. I keep thinking about the overwritten feeling I got from the essay. Did people feel it was good writing if it had not been slightly humorous? I mean, for those who really liked it, did the writing only work because you thought it was funny and self-deprecating - sort of parodying the genre of the personal essay and therefore purposefully overdone? Or was the writing just good and the message was what was funny? I kept thinking that individually the sentences were fine (good even) but that together they felt weighty and awkward - and, as I said, so affected and pretentious. It felt to me like one of those essays that probably scores super well on a computer algorithm simply because she used bigger words, not because it was necessarily better.

I'm probably being too harsh... In fact, I know I am. I just thought it was surprising that the writing got such praise.

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I think it is just like sitting through a whole day of HR interviews as a neutral party. If a candidate is lively enough to not sound like a standard script, I'll pay attention and ignore grammar errors since the people could use grammar check on official correspondence anyway.

Her first line describes typical two year old behavior of wanting to run lose in somewhere like Costco. I was not expecting perfect sentences describing a childhood experience in a cheeky manner. If everything was written in a serious tone, I might subconciously expect perfect writing.

In a way it is kind of like the cover letter in the pre-online job application days. It gets boring reading very similar cover letters after the first 50. It was a temp job for me and paid well so I'm not complaining.

eternalsummer

I couldn't finish it either. In addition to just not maintaining my interest, I felt like she overused her handy dandy thesaurus. Maybe her vocabulary is really like that, but it felt very pretentious to me. I think the concept was fun, but the execution left something to be desired. Of course, my opinion is completely irrelevant and she definitely accomplished her goals.

I don't see a single word in the essay that reads "Thesaurus" - that is, a word that is technically maybe okay but the connotations are wrong.  I also don't see a word I didn't know, including connotations, in high school.  I don't think she *talks* like that, but writing in sort of a parody/pastiche form works fine if you're familiar enough with the tone and vocab.

It's been awhile but I've been on admissions committees for undergrad, medical school and pediatric residency.  ANYTHING that is funny and reasonably witty and stand-outs is very welcome. Essays are the most boring things in the history of the world to read and it was always such a relief to get one that was somehow different. My experience was that an essay wouldn't get you rejected (unless it was very weird or inappropriate...like the guy that sent in a photo of himself in a Speedo) and it wouldn't get you accepted if you weren't otherwise qualified. But it can make you stand out (rarely in a bad way but more often in a "hey, this person is kind of interesting" way). 

My impression is that the essay and interview and other such components are often much bigger components when you're talking about grad school, though I suppose it depends on the program. I have the sense that the essay is little more than a way to decide between candidates that are pretty equal for undergrad in many places. I'm sure it depends though...   It's interesting how divided we were on this one. I keep thinking about the overwritten feeling I got from the essay. Did people feel it was good writing if it had not been slightly humorous? I mean, for those who really liked it, did the writing only work because you thought it was funny and self-deprecating - sort of parodying the genre of the personal essay and therefore purposefully overdone? Or was the writing just good and the message was what was funny? I kept thinking that individually the sentences were fine (good even) but that together they felt weighty and awkward - and, as I said, so affected and pretentious. It felt to me like one of those essays that probably scores super well on a computer algorithm simply because she used bigger words, not because it was necessarily better.   I'm probably being too harsh... In fact, I know I am. I just thought it was surprising that the writing got such praise.

I look at essays kind of like figure skating, with two separate scores.  She scores high marks for artistry, but her technical score could use some work, imo.  Personally, I tend to see the technical merits first.  I was a copy editor for the student newspaper while I was in college, and a high school English teacher after that.  If this had been turned into me, my red pen would have been busy.

I enjoyed the essay, I think it would have gotten my attention on an admissions committee. It made me smile.

Question though, do all those schools she got into take the common app?

merry gardens

I googled the person. She (or someone with the same name and an NSF research grant for precollege students) is an author on two scientific publications in biochemistry.   It's not the essay. It's the whole package. The essay is the most overhyped part of the application, IMHO.

That wouldn't surprise me as the science contained within her essay stood out to me. She demonstrated that she ponders and has understanding of scientific principles as they apply to ordinary experiences like grocery shopping. Strong scientific credentials, along with an ability to demonstrate how science applies to everyday life, may be what stood out to the admission staff.

I thought it was a terrible essay.

I am going to have to find an outside advisor for my kid because clearly, I know nothing.

I read the essay quickly rather than studying it. I didn't think all that much of it one way or the other.

I think people are talking about this essay that might not have all the facts. As Madhatter said, maybe she got in despite the essay. There is a lot me don't know.

Essays are a form of communication. I think we often lose track of communication to focus on the mode of delivery. When writing an essay, I think it is critical to know what the reader is focusing on. Does the reader want to know something or is the reader wanting to see if I have mastered a currently popular style of delivery?

My list of "wrong" is shrinking. Not only because I have spent almost a year pecking out posts on a cell phone screen, but...I seem to be reverting a bit to a sloppier but more authentic writing style. Painters have style. Writers have style.

Folk art is not as refined as some other styles. But it is beautiful to some people.

Not only am I willing to post when I cannot even see well enough to edit what autocorrect made even worse than I wrote, but I'm just vomitting onto my tiny screen right now. You all get me trying to shout out from the bottom of a long narrow tunnel. With no spell check.

In the past, when my writing was even rougher, and I was still in the thick of homeschooling, I used to get PMs from college professors and other people telling me that I stood out for my combination of roughness but strong writing voice and was encouraged to put as much attention on my own education as that of the boys.

If I had written an essay back then, obviously some professors would have liked it, if they were PMing me to tell me they liked my writing. I'm sure some of you would have been horrified by what I wrote. I'm horrified when I occasionally stumble across an archived post somewhere from around 2002. :lol:

I still am insecure about my writing and know my phone written texts are the worst of the worst. But...to be silenced is...

I'm not sure what I am saying. I'm now entering worldview territory. What we say and think is based on worldview. Should the people not trained in the current fashionable writing style be silent? Is the mode of delivery more important than what they have to say? And are their experiences and worldview relevant?

I'm on a phone. I don't have time to write more. Here is my ramble vomitted from the bottom of the tunnel. And I don't even know which letters to double in vomitted.

I thought it sounded like an over written blog post. I didn't like it but I also didn't hate it. I'd probably love it if I'd just finished reading a stack of dry, boring and repetitive essays by other applicants. And I imagine her other accomplishments are what truly got her acceptance.

quietchapel

Great ideas in the essay, too many words. Oh, way too many words.

That's funny that it sounded authentic to so many people. It sounded so affected and false to me.   I may be projecting. I was an affected, pretentious teenager... so...

It is affected and false. It's very calculated and also extremely well done. She nailed her target audience. Think of how many thousands of affected, false essays they have to read. All they want is one that is well-written, clever, and fairly original. She did that. 

Eta: The quality of the writing does not stand out to me in particular. It seems way too wordy. But that's a lot of high school writing in a nutshell. 

I was overwhelmed by adjectives. Kudos if it helped her get in. If our rising senior had written that both my husband would have rolled our eyes and sent her back to try again! 

I was thinking that might be one of the reasons the admissions people liked it. They read too many essays that are more written by parents and/or paid advisors than by the kids themselves.

At first I thought it was a bit much, but by the end I liked the essay. I didn't notice any grammar mistakes other than thinking buffalochicken is not one word (I suck at grammar but I live in Buffalo...). It's actually the kind of thing I might have written myself at that age (without a thesaurus - the only reason I use a thesaurus is to name my electronics devices... they have names like 'Nefarious', and after several computers, phones, etc, it's hard to stick with the theme without using a thesaurus, lol).

I think it was overwritten but shows that she has writing talent and imagination. It seemed immature to me, but I'm sure it would stand out among all of the other typical admissions essays. With a good editor giving advice, it could have been much stronger.

I found my college admissions essay in a box a year or so ago and had a laugh when I read it. It was really not very good. Yet writing was my strength as a student. I tested out of all of first year composition classes in college, majored in English, and became a magazine editor early in my career. The Costco essay was better than mine.

When I was in high school, one of my friends wrote an admissions essay describing his hero. He picked Gumby  :p . He was accepted into a prestigious university.

ETA: I don't want to be too critical of someone else's child, who obviously is academically gifted and should be proud of her achievements. But I can't help adding a bit of my personal opinion to my post. The essay doesn't seem like a parody to me. It reads like it was written by someone with some writing talent who is trying too hard to show off how clever they are and doesn't understand the power of using concise imagery. I didn't care for it at all, personally, and had a hard time getting to the end, but I can appreciate that it is much better than the average college essay. So kudos to her!

I think that it sounded over the top intentionally and that was part of what made it funny and therefore, good. It's clearly a parody of style and substance. "Let me tell you about my existential big box store crisis in such a way that makes it clear that I understand that this is not what you were expecting me to write about."

I mean, I'm sure it was very refreshing after six bazillion understated, over-humble, over-edited essays about a missionary vacation to Mexico or something.

Affected and pretentious it was, but do you really think she was so unaware of how affected and pretentious ALL those essays sound?

She probably read like 10 sample essays and advice columns from Pearson and the College board and though, screw it, I will give them genuine and canned. Whatever.

I wish I'd have had the balls to do that as a teen. I wrote the world's most boring essays ever because I was afraid to offend. I wanted to give them what they wanted. I'm sure the style was fine, it was understated and unpretentious.

Institutional scholarships I got out of that approach: 0.

It's true that I got off a waitlist as a teen by sending some really weird writing.  :tongue_smilie:

I think maybe what I'm rebelling against isn't so much the essay but the need for such an essay. As in, all the essays are so pretentious and affected in *some* fashion yet they have to be. I don't like that... not that I have an antidote. College admissions. Bah. Not looking forward to that one and glad we have several years left.

It's true that I got off a waitlist as a teen by sending some really weird writing.  :tongue_smilie:   I think maybe what I'm rebelling against isn't so much the essay but the need for such an essay. As in, all the essays are so pretentious and affected in *some* fashion yet they have to be. I don't like that... not that I have an antidote. College admissions. Bah. Not looking forward to that one and glad we have several years left.

Yes, its like being fake in interviews in order to get a job.  It just seems so stupid.

I was looking at applying for jobs in Finland once.  The information I read said that they really get upset there if people exagerate or boast in interviews or resumes.  They think it shows a false character.

OUr university admissions here in Canada don't normally require essays.  If you apply for a scholarship you might have to send one, but not always.  It's all much less competitive and overblown, and there isn't the same tier system.  If your marks are reasonable, and you send in your application, you probably get in.

Yes, exaggeration and boasting, sure. But this was satirical to some extent, and also, inwas actually sel-deprecating in that it was about shopping at a dicount retailer.

For me, it wasn't so much that the essay was boasting or exagerated - more that it was false - it was calculated and ironic.  What does that say about the whole process? 

Yes, exactly. It didn't feel serious to me but it also didn't feel so "obviously" like a parody or clever like people are asserting. I get that different readers are going to see different things, I just couldn't get past that feeling of how affected it was - calculated to show off rather than reflecting anything genuine about her. I think what you're saying is exactly my problem with it - she's a pretty decent writer. It probably is unfair to pull it apart to the nth degree - it's more that I am realizing you can't write anything genuine for these prompts. It's all going to be canned or trite or affected... it's a process set up to elicit writing that isn't very meaningful.

It might be interesting to try and take some of these prompts and try to produce something meaningful, while not bothering to try and accomplish anything else.

There's a cool book that we were reading not long ago called Breakfast on Mars - it's a bunch of MG and YA writers writing quirky essays for classically dull prompts. They were mostly pretty good.

For me, it wasn't so much that the essay was boasting or exagerated - more that it was false - it was calculated and ironic. What does that say about the whole process?

That's why I liked it. Call them out with satire. She's gaming the game and what are they supposed to do, call her on it? "Young lady, we admit one in 20 valedictorians, we demand ORIGINALITY and VIRTUE in a system which is based on obedience and self-promotion. We want to see you demonstrate this in about 30 possible activities over four years to be described in 200 words or less. And show DEPTH. Is that clear?"

She called their bluff and therefore participated less than those who played the game.

That's why I liked it. Call them out with satire. She's gaming the game and what are they supposed to do, call her on it? "Young lady, we admit one in 20 valedictorians, we demand ORIGINALITY and VIRTUE in a system which is based on obedience and self-promotion. We want to see you demonstrate this in about 30 possible activities over four years to be described in 200 words or less. And show DEPTH. Is that clear?"   She called their bluff and therefore participated less than those who played the game.

I'm not sure that is true.  I think it's just as invested in the game, really.  It makes me think of hipsters doing things, supposedly, ironically.  Itend to think they either are faking being ironic in order to be cool (they really like silly pants) or they are pretty lame people who need to find some kind of meaning in their lives.

I see that as playing the game, not participating less.

Which is fine! I mean, you do what you need to do. And she was apparently beyond qualified - they may not have even looked at the essay given her other qualifications were so above and beyond. I just don't see how giving them what they wanted but with a little snark isn't playing their game.

Of course she's playing the game.

I think the problem we start with in this discussion is the assumption that the purpose of a college essay is to showcase good writing. I think the purpose, especially for an over-qualified prospective science major, is just to showcase your personality and strengths in a memorable way. Maybe your elegant essay on the summer you spent conducting research will be memorable. Maybe the fact that you wrote something silly about Costco instead of writing about your scientific research will be memorable.

Either way, when your application is sitting in a stack with all the other applications from over-qualified prospective science majors who conducted summer research, it doesn't hurt to have something memorable that sets you apart. It doesn't even matter whether members of the admissions committee liked the essay or not; they may have even sat around having the same love it or hate it debate we're having. But if they remembered the essay and remembered her application, then the essay served its purpose. At the end of the day, that's a win for her.

This looks fantastic. 

Maybe she got in despite the essay. Which means she really deserved to get in. :)

:iagree:  When my DH showed this to me a few days ago, this is exactly what I thought. This essay is like a long Facebook post or a satiric blog post. I do not like it when people use "industrialsized", "well­mannered" and "buffalo­chicken" as single words without space separators or hyphens. I am very easy going when it comes to personal use of punctuation, mechanics of writing etc because I write informally. But, when it comes to an essay that may make or break one's college education, one has to write a well educated essay - I don't mind humor, but, I mind the lack of word structure. And none of it sounds sincere, genuine or a true reflection of her.

If this were my son, I would have had a lot of constructive criticism and advise to offer when I proof-read it.

:iagree:  When my DH showed this to me a few days ago, this is exactly what I thought. This essay is like a long Facebook post or a satiric blog post. I do not like it when people use "industrialsized", "well­mannered" and "buffalo­chicken" as single words without space separators or hyphens. I am very easy going when it comes to personal use of punctuation, mechanics of writing etc because I write informally. But, when it comes to an essay that may make or break one's college education, one has to write a well educated essay - I don't mind humor, but, I mind the lack of word structure. And none of it sounds sincere, genuine or a true reflection of her. If this were my son, I would have had a lot of constructive criticism and advise to offer when I proof-read it.

It's possible there was some kind of formatting issue when they put the essay up on the website and those words did, in the original essay, have hyphens. I've converted files in the past and had weird stuff happen, like the one time it only wiped out all the quotation marks.

I think that it sounded over the top intentionally and that was part of what made it funny and therefore, good. It's clearly a parody of style and substance. "Let me tell you about my existential big box store crisis in such a way that makes it clear that I understand that this is not what you were expecting me to write about."   I mean, I'm sure it was very refreshing after six bazillion understated, over-humble, over-edited essays about a missionary vacation to Mexico or something.   Affected and pretentious it was, but do you really think she was so unaware of how affected and pretentious ALL those essays sound?   She probably read like 10 sample essays and advice columns from Pearson and the College board and though, screw it, I will give them genuine and canned. Whatever.   I wish I'd have had the balls to do that as a teen. I wrote the world's most boring essays ever because I was afraid to offend. I wanted to give them what they wanted. I'm sure the style was fine, it was understated and unpretentious.   Institutional scholarships I got out of that approach: 0.

That's what I took from it, too. It sounded like she was mocking the style of the typical college essay while also managing to give the admissions people a glimpse at her personality. I thought it was clever.

I thought she was intentionally writing something out of the box in order to stand out. I made it all the way through the essay and thought it wasn't great writing, but definitely would be memorable. So, if that was her goal, she achieved it.

I can't remember any of my college essays, so they were probably not anything that stood out.

I shudder to think about DD#1 attempting to write essays for college applications. It will be ugly. Possibly as ugly as it was today near the end of a physics test for her . . .  :crying:  I just might have to run away from home during that semester or possibly find a substitute to run my life so I don't have to be there for that.  :willy_nilly:

Well I for one did not play the game. I wish I would have. Principles don't pay the bills. Not to put too fine a point on it but for every woman here talking principle, there is a man who is clearly playing the hell out of the game to support a family at a middle class lifestyle on a single income. In this life you have to hustle. If you can divide the in home and cash-value labor discretely enough to homeschool more power to you but let's not pretend this goes on without sacrifice.

Yet, it sounds like this girl did not write one to your standards but was still accepted to several Ivy league schools. I think she's probably happy her own parents didn't proof read and change things or ask her to alter it. I also don't know how you would know if it is sincere or a true reflection of her since you don't know her. 

I don't actually understand the criticism here. She's a smart girl. Her writing in this instance may not be to your liking but it worked for her. 

I also don't know how you would know if it is sincere or a true reflection of her since you don't know her.

Which reminds me, years ago (before kids), my wife and I had a habit of wandering aimlessly around Walmart late on Friday nights, looking at all the stuff and having random conversations about things we noticed. Those conversations could be about anything - including philosophy, history, economics, psychology, engineering, etc.

Now, I know we're weird... but 'Friday Night Walmart' really was a thing for us for at least a year. Which is why I wouldn't say the essay is necessarily fake.

Did anyone link this critique yet?  Admission officials from Ivy League schools chime in with their thoughts on the essay:   http://www.businessinsider.com/5-former-ivy-league-admissions-officers-talk-about-college-admissions-essays-2016-4

Well, that was an interesting reminder that it's not Ivy League professors who are sitting on admissions committees reading these essays.  :blink:

I physically winced when the guy from Cornell, who was soooo impressed by all those "sophisticated words like jettisoned, crevice, scoured, whisked...," added that he would advise her "to use less adjectives and adverbs." Yikes.

I thought the guy from Columbia/NYU was spot on when he said that the essay itself wasn't all that special, but he assumed the rest of her application must have been stellar. I didn't think the essay was particularly smart or well-written, but what it added, IMO, was a hint that she was likely to be a fun, bubbly person, which may have helped set her apart from a sea of other students with similarly high stats and overloaded transcripts.

But then again, if the adcoms reading it were super-impressed by someone using the word "juxtaposed," then perhaps the bar for Ivy essays is lower than we imagine.  :001_huh:

I looked up some more info on her — she is class valedictorian, had a 4.9 GPA (4.0 unweighted), varsity athlete (cross country running), lots of APs, summer STEM program at MIT, and volunteered in a university lab that does genetics research. She is also a URM (her mother is a Brazilian immigrant who identifies as black). 

  I physically winced when the guy from Cornell, who was soooo impressed by all those "sophisticated words like jettisoned, crevice, scoured, whisked...," added that he would advise her "to use less adjectives and adverbs." Yikes.    

I winced, too.  Then I read the follow up article by the same reporter who wrote:  "She explained that she was initially taken back by all of the attention after she got...."

I remember when writers took geeky pride in their grammar and usage.

8filltheheart

Here are essays that JHU admissions liked. https://apply.jhu.edu/apply/essays-that-worked/ (I can appreciate the first example bc that is close to the chaos my kids probably perceive. ;) )

She is also a URM (her mother is a Brazilian immigrant who identifies as black). 

what is an URM?

JumpyTheFrog

I think it means "underrepresented minority".

Oh, I liked the first several of these quite a lot. Smart and interesting. 

URM is admissions-speak for "underrepresented minority" — i.e. not white or Asian. That can be a significant "hook," especially at top schools were they have about 3 times more applicants with top academic qualifications than they have admissions slots. If you've got a pile of applications from kids with perfect GPAs, 99th percentile test scores, a dozen APs, and national awards, the adcoms start looking for things like... well, this kid is from North Dakota, we don't have anyone else from there; this girl is the biracial daughter of an immigrant; this kid was raised by a single parent who dropped out of high school and he would be the first in his family to ever attend college, etc.

A few of those were really excellent! I especially liked the first two — they're clever, witty, and very well-written, with unusual themes that manage to convey a lot about their personalities. Some of the others were examples of what I imagine many typical essays look like — humblebrags about community service, academic accomplishments, or other ECs. That's one reason why, to me, the first couple of essays really stood out — they weren't just the standard list of accomplishments. I think the girl who wrote the Costco essay was aiming for something like the 1st two in the linked article, but hers just came across as someone who was trying too hard (and a little too dependent on a thesaurus).

Yes. Over the past few years, students who got admitted into all Ivies pop up every year in the news media. Most of these students share one demographic characteristic: they are the children of first generation immigrant parents, usually from Africa.

ETA: The extremely high proportion of such students among that select group is statistically impossible if this detail were not a deciding factor; it does not reflect the proportion of first generation African immigrants among the general population.

Just to name a few:

Kwasi Enin, 2014, parents from Ghana

Harold Ekhe, 2015, Nigeria

Victor Ahbafe, 2015, Nigeria

Munira Khalif, Somalia

Fernando Rojas, Mexico

Augusta Uwamanzu-Nna, 2016, Nigeria

Yes. Over the past few years, news of students who got admitted into all Ivies pops up every year in the news media. Most of these students share a demographic characteristic: they are the children of first generation immigrant parents, usually from Africa.

I recently saw a slide of our student outcomes by demographic in Seattle. It's not a public document but what the hell.

There are two African countries in particular which are probably raising the average statistics of African/African-American/Black students by a good 50% in this district, like kids of these two backgrounds perform like Asian kids. But they are black, many of the children native speakers, and yet they still have less disciplinary actions against them, fewer absences, etc. etc. You all can guess away who it is and I'm not telling which countries but it's striking.

It's super interesting how the cultural message plays out in communities.

Oh I'm going to guess Ethiopia and Somalia.  I did cheat.  https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/publications/2014/acs/acsbr12-16.pdf 

I recently saw a slide of our student outcomes by demographic in Seattle. It's not a public document but what the hell.   There are two African countries in particular which are probably raising the average statistics of African/African-American/Black students by a good 50% in this district, like kids of these two backgrounds perform like Asian kids. But they are black, many of the children native speakers, and yet they still have less disciplinary actions against them, fewer absences, etc. etc. You all can guess away who it is and I'm not telling which countries but it's striking.   It's super interesting how the cultural message plays out in communities.

Did the Tiger Mom and her husband mention immigrants from 2 African countries in their next book as "more successful" than most people? (I remember them saying Nigeria, the other could be Ethiopia???)

...................

The essay was silly, pretentious and funny.  Her goal was to make you laugh and snicker.  Maybe she grew up solidly upper middle class, with no real family struggles to name, and no major problems to  talk about "overcoming," and she realized humor and wit would be more interesting than yet another essay about her personal hero, or a struggle she didn't really have, etc. etc. or some maudlin tale of what she overcame.

Yes, the writing is weird and it's not perfect.  Yes, it's shallow and definitely silly.

But, she did something unusual that made people smile, and laugh and actually have real word pictures of Costco and all it's glaring American ridiculousness swirling in their heads.  I mean, I have actually seen some of the ridiculous but eclectic things she mentions...

I recently saw a slide of our student outcomes by demographic in Seattle. It's not a public document but what the hell.   There are two African countries in particular which are probably raising the average statistics of African/African-American/Black students by a good 50% in this district, like kids of these two backgrounds perform like Asian kids. But they are black, many of the children native speakers, and yet they still have less disciplinary actions against them, fewer absences, etc. etc. You all can guess away who it is and I'm not telling which countries but it's striking. S It's super interesting how the cultural message plays out in communities.

A crap ton of resources were poured into helping immigrants from those countries in our area. And the communities are very close and supportive to one another. A large number, and perhaps even a majority of, African immigrants and their descendants in Seattle are Somolian or Ethopian (one can probably get a clear picture of that by counting out the number of Ethiopian restaurants here.) And the resources poured in throughout the 1990s are paying dividends as the Ethopian and Somolian immigrants from then are now adults with kids in school. I went to school with many such immigrants.

And tangentially I spent my high school lunch hours scarfing down injera, collards and legumes at the Ethiopian restaurant not far from my school, making friends with the owner's children. There were also many Ethiopian immigrants in college with me here.

I don't think she necessarily lacked principle in writing this essay....she didn't say anything unkind, inappropriate or false.  

I like some of your point.  Goodness knows that I have a husband both living out his principles AND hustling, and as a committed Christian it has not been easy.  And goodness knows I carry 99% of the burden of raising the kids, and doing everything the entire household needs for every single facet of our family so that he can earn the income without distraction or burning out.  Not sure how that really related  to this thread, but I'm just saying I liked some of what you said as a good reminder to me.  We are both hustling, but I admit, he is hustling more.

But, not living out principles to "play the game"....they aren't diametrically opposed to each other.  My husband is a man of great, great principle and while sometimes it has set him back in the short run, it has mostly only advanced him forward and left him with amazing contacts, numerous people who would hire him back, trust him with the business, their money and everything else....

I highly disagree that principles need to be set aside to play the game, and I don't think that's what most of the people here that said that in this thread meant.

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