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How I Know You Wrote Your Kid’s College Essay

The paradox of the overzealous editing of the college essay by many helicopter parents is that they don’t know what a college essay is really about.

do parents write college essays

By JM Farkas

Henceforth.

It was right there in the last sentence of the first paragraph of Mikey’s college essay. I was supposed to believe this typical high school senior, who had inhabited this planet for a slight 17 years, chose to use the word “henceforth.” Mikey was a good kid. He worked hard in school. He loved basketball and girls and math.

He had a certain way with words, but “henceforth” wasn’t one of his words.

When I circled it, Mikey met my raised eyebrows with his signature closed-mouth smile: “O.K., so maybe my mom wrote that part.”

No kidding, Mikey.

The paradox of the overzealous editing of the college essay by many helicopter parents is that they don’t know what a college essay is really about. Unlike the other parts of the application, where high grade point averages and SAT scores reign supreme, the essay is less about being impressive than it is about being authentic.

It can take some convincing for many kids and parents to believe that when it comes to writing the essays, in particular, college admissions officers care about who students are. The essays should reveal their personalities, passions, dreams, weird talents, favorite foods, sickest playlists, inexplicable loves and undeniable quirks.

Do you like to eat the marshmallows before the milk in your Lucky Charms? A tiny but specific detail like this will probably be more vivid than an entirely forced and forgettable essay on community service.

The college essay is about the true things students want the colleges to know about them that can’t be seen via grades and standardized tests. Are you kind? Resilient? Curious? Creative? Are you any fun? And contrary to popular belief, it’s not about unattainable standards or curing cancer. In fact, a good test of a college essay is: Can the writer convince the reader that she would make a great roommate?

So the good news is: The college essay is the purest part of the application.

The bad news: Parents, when you mess with your kids’ pure voices, you’re actually co-writing terrible college essays. And far more egregious and dangerous: You’re teaching your children that when the stakes are high enough, it’s O.K. to be unethical and possibly a plagiarist.

So aside from ridiculously lofty vocabulary or an overly mature perspective, how do I know when a parent or another adult is likely to have written a kid’s essay?

The secret is practically invisible.

When I learned how to type in high school, the definitive rule was to leave two spaces after a period.

Today, kids are taught to use one .

As a former high school teacher, I have worked with hundreds of students on their college essays. Later, as a private college essay consultant, I worked with students and parents at some top private schools before I became an admissions counselor for a small liberal arts college.

Over the years, I’ve noticed this pattern. Often the first draft of an essay has sentences with one space after the periods, but the next draft changes to two. Or, an essay might start off with single spaces after periods, but by the end, suddenly the sentences have two spaces after periods. Or, a final draft might include a wild mishmash of alternating spacing after periods: sometimes one, sometimes two.

So to well-intended adults: in those extra spaces, you are leaving incriminating fingerprints on your student’s show of authenticity. And in trying to make the essay polished enough to prove to an admissions officer that your student is ready for the responsibilities of college, you are showing that you are not so sure.

Henceforth, back off.

JM Farkas is a college essay consultant, teacher, poet and author of “ Be Brave: An Unlikely Manual for Erasing Heartbreak .”

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do parents write college essays

Should Parents Help Students Write College Essays?

What’s covered:, how involved should parents be with college applications, 4 ways parents can help with college essays, 4 elements of a good college essay, where your student can get their essay edited.

High schoolers applying to college go through a lot—from filling out multiple applications, keeping up impressive grades and extracurriculars, and writing dozens of college essays. Parents might be tempted to help out their kids and ease some of their burden during this busy time. But, should parents help write their kids’ college essays?

When it comes to helping out with the college process, parents should act as more of a coach or cheerleader than a director. Rather than hovering over your student and telling them when to fill out certain applications, what to write in their essays, and what safety schools to apply to, take a step back and support them without smothering them.

As a coach, parents can guide their student to keep them on schedule, have productive conversations about different college options and financial aid, and offer feedback and edits on essays. It’s important that parents don’t step in and play the game for themselves, so to speak, but rather assist their kid in reaching their full potential.

Another role parents can play is the cheerleader: encourage them through this challenging time and keep them engaged even when they get burnt out. The application process isn’t easy for students or parents, but having someone in your corner to cheer you on will help motivate students to keep going.

Since parents should not be at the helm, they should not do anything active like writing essays. More importantly, a parent directly writing any part of an essay would be plagiarism, and admissions officers can pick up on it via software and their intuition. Essays must be written with the student’s authentic voice and ideas. Here are some things parents can do:

1. Proofread Drafts

Every essay a student writes will likely have to go through multiple drafts—each time tweaking grammar, cutting down words, adding details, moving around sentences, etc. Parents can help expedite this process by reading over the essay drafts and providing constructive feedback. Important details to check for include:

  • Are there spelling errors or typos?
  • Could the grammar be elevated with literary devices or different diction?
  • Does this sound like my student speaking or a thesaurus? 
  • Does the essay flow in a manner that is easy to follow?

2. Brainstorm Essay Topics

Figuring out how to answer each prompt can be difficult and exhausting when students have so many essays to write. This is a good place for parents to jump in and “coach” their students; sit down for a few hours and start brainstorming topics and themes that could work for various prompts. 

A good way to organize brainstorming sessions is to break down essay prompts into categories ( “Why This Major?”, “Extracurricular”, “Community Impact”, “Overcoming Challenges” , etc.) and come up with five to ten stories or answers for each category.

3. Help Students Recall Childhood Memories and Stories

Along the lines of brainstorming, parents can play a huge role in reminding their students of anecdotes from their childhood that could make for a good essay. While you shouldn’t recount stories from your point of view that would color their perspective, parents can show pictures and videos, talk through some of their fondest memories of their kids, and fill in any gaps in stories kids partially remember.

4. Help Students Reflect on Who They Are

One of the important aspects of college essays is the ability to engage in self reflection and think about your character development and growth. This can be a lot for a teenager to do on their own, so it’s a good place for parents to provide some extra support.

Walk your child through some brainstorming exercises. Ask questions like “What three words would best describe you”, “What’s a good example of how you approach a challenge/new idea/etc”, “What are your personal and career goals”,  and “How have you grown as a person since you were younger” .

Another way parents can help their kids is by ensuring they cover the bases that make a good essay. Make sure to check out our ultimate guide to college essays to learn how to write a good essay, but below are a handful of the things to check for:

1. Answers the 4 Core Questions

When it comes to a strong college essay, there are four questions that should be answered. These are:

  • “Who Am I?”
  • “Why Am I Here?”
  • “What is Unique About Me?”
  • “What Matters to Me?”

These might seem like daunting philosophical questions, but with an intentional, well-crafted essay, you’ll find that the answers to these questions come naturally. Perhaps a more helpful way to look at these questions would be the following:

  • What are your personality traits?
  • What was your journey through high school? What were you interested in and found meaningful? How have you evolved as you have grown?
  • Between your interests, skills, way of thinking, and personality, why are you different from other applicants?
  • What is something you care deeply about above all else?

2. Author’s Voice is Authentic and Approachable

Essays are the one opportunity for admissions committees to hear directly from the applicant. For that reason, the essay should sound like a high school student wrote it. Without being overly casual, make sure the tone of the essay reads like a conversation with a friend.

Don’t rely too heavily on a thesaurus and don’t worry about stuffing the essay full of metaphors and figurative language—this isn’t an essay for an English class!

3. Shows Instead of Tells

While the advice to “ show not tell ” in your writing might not be new, it could not be more important. What truly sets apart a good essay from a great essay is the ability to paint a picture for the reader with imagery. 

A sentence like this, “I love the thrill of competing in the Math Olympiad,” simply tells the reader what the student enjoys. However, look at the difference when a sentence shows us what a student loves: “ Badum. Badum. Badum. The heavy thumping of my heart echoed painfully in my ears as a droplet of sweat made a lazy trail down my back. Adrenaline coursing through my veins, I whispered “ 7? ” as the time ran out.”

3. Avoids Cliches

Imagine reading through thousands upon thousands of essays every year as an admissions officer. After your 50th essay about scoring the winning goal at the soccer game, being changed by a volunteer trip to another country, or some other overused topic, you’ll no longer connect with these stories.

No matter how beautifully an essay is written, a cliche topic just makes admissions officers want to groan and get to the next one. Make sure your essay doesn’t fall into a traditional cliche topic to make it engaging and enjoyable to read.

4. Includes an Anecdote or Personal Story

Anecdotes bring excitement and personal depth to essays. They provide an easy way for a student to show what was happening in the moment that had such a profound impact on them. Including an anecdote also facilitates personal reflection because there is a solid foundation established. Once the reader can connect with a story, they are able to better empathize with the student and appreciate their character.

Editing college essays is a great way for parents to get involved, but it can be time consuming to read through multiple essays. Luckily, CollegeVine offers two avenues for students to get their essays reviewed. 

Our free Peer Essay Review tool allows students to get a free review of their essay from another student. Students can also improve their own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If students want a college admissions expert to review their essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for your student to improve their chances of getting into their dream school!

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June 8, 2023

The Fingerprints of Parents in College Essays

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One question we at Ivy Coach sometimes get from parents during free consultations goes like this: “Can’t college admissions officers tell you had a hand in your students’ essays?” Our answer? “If college admissions officers suspected we had a hand in brainstorming and revising our students’ essays, we wouldn’t be very good at what we do, and our students wouldn’t be earning admission to their dream schools year after year over the last 30 years.”

You see, when we revise our students’ essays, we leave not one fingerprint in any one of these essays. We don’t use words that businesspeople, doctors, and lawyers use. We teach our students not to use big words when small words will do just fine. Thinking of using the word “plethora” or “copious”? You’re not the only student who learned these words in preparation for the SAT. Write “a lot” instead so it doesn’t appear like you’re trying to impress.

We teach our students to dare to write fragments. We teach our students to dare to defy the rules so many high school English teachers hammer into their heads. 

In our experience, teenagers write a certain way, and even those students with perfect or near-perfect reading scores on the SAT or ACT, with perfect scores on AP English Language and Composition and AP English Literature and Composition, aren’t strong writers. Yes, most high school students can’t write very well . It’s a sad truth. It was the case in 1993. It’s the case in 2023.

At Ivy Coach, we help make their prose much more compelling so that they stand out and effectively dare admissions officers not to offer them admission.

Do Parents Write College Essays?

Some parents  think  they’re good writers. As such, they feel confident attempting to spruce up — or even outright write — their child’s college essays. But their confidence is  sorely misplaced . Admissions officers  weren’t  born yesterday. They can so often tell when a parent wrote a college essay or even fine-tuned a student’s story. It’s typically quite noticeable.

The Invisible Fingerprint of Parents in College Essays

And, no, not just anyone should be editing college essays — and especially not parents. A few years ago, we read a terrific editorial in  The New York Times  penned by JM Farkas. The piece, aptly titled “ How I Know You Wrote Your Kid’s College Essay ,” references one specific fingerprint parents so often leave behind in college essays. It’s an invisible fingerprint . It’s one we’ve written about many times over the years on the pages of our college admissions blog.

So what might this invisible fingerprint be? It’s two spaces after a period. You see, many parents grew up using typewriters or word processors. Their English teachers taught them to place two spaces after each period. But kids these days don’t put two spaces after a period. Have you ever seen two spaces after a period on any of our blogs? Nope. Scan the pages of our website — just one space after each period.

The two spaces fingerprint is but one such fingerprint of parents in college admissions essays. Fancy words. Business-y buzzwords, even simple expressions like “next steps.” These are significant red flags in college essays that point to the assistance of a parent.

What Happens If a Parent Is Caught Writing a College Essay?

So what happens if an admissions officer at an elite university raises a red flag after reading a college essay that hints at a parent’s participation in the writing process?  That’s easy . The admissions officer will recommend denying the student admission without further consideration. It will cost a student any chance of admission.

We Leave No Fingerprint in Our Students’ College Essays

A few years ago, we came across an essay that was even written in the third person . The parent must have forgotten to write in the student’s voice. Oy vey is right! It’s so very easy to tell when parents — who are often not particularly good writers themselves — have a hand in a student’s college admissions essays. It’s also very easy to tell when bad high school English teachers , school counselors, and private college counselors have a hand in a student’s college admissions essays.

One of the reasons we at Ivy Coach are able to help our students earn admission to their dream schools year after year is because an admissions officer would never know we helped revise their essays. After all, good writing is about brainstorming and revising. It’s true for novels. It’s true for television scribes. It’s true for journalists. Through the revision process, students even become more persuasive writers. It’s a big part of Ivy Coach’s secret sauce, a sauce which happens to be delicious. Notice we didn’t say toothsome .

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Should You Help With the College Essay? 4 Questions to Ask First

Guest contributor.

do parents write college essays

By Brad Schiller, CEO & Founder of Prompt

The college process can strain parent-child relationships.

There’s a list of colleges to make. There are conversations about staying close to home or moving away and about your family’s budget for higher education.

And maybe the most dreaded part of the process, there are college essays to write .

Although the college essay is a source of stress for students, it’s also a place where parents can’t resist jumping in to help.

Despite your instincts, I implore you to take a step back and consider your teenager’s situation.

By senior year of high school, many kids have their own identities and values, which may or may not align with yours. Your teen is getting essay advice from counselors, teachers, peers, family members, and maybe coaches or consultants.

Despite (or because of) all of this information bombarding them, your teen might not have the best understanding of what college admissions officers are looking for in an essay.

When you combine these factors, it becomes clear that parents can benefit from thinking twice about helping their kids with their college essays.

To guide you on the decision of whether or not to help your teen with their college essay, I have four questions for you to consider.

Answer These Questions Before Reading Your Teen's Essay

1. do you currently have a stable relationship with your teen.

Senior year can be stressful for families. And college applications may not be the only area of conflict as your 17- or 18-year old becomes more independent and pushes boundaries.

If you’re going to try to help your teen with their college essay, consider the additional stress these interactions may place on your relationship.

You can support them throughout the college application process without being the one to read and provide feedback on their essay. They may need help researching scholarships, or want someone to go with them to tour a campus or two. Maybe you can help them prepare for an admissions interview. Or maybe they just need a little extra pampering as they juggle their busy senior year schedule.

2. Does your teen take your advice in other areas?

It’s not just you. Many teens have established their own ideas about what is right and wrong, good and bad, etc. They may be less likely to take your advice right now.

Look elsewhere: Do they take your advice when choosing a summer job? Deciding what they might want to study in college? Or even (gulp) how to navigate relationships?

Be honest with yourself and recognize that protecting your existing relationship with your teen should take precedence over your desire to provide feedback on their writing.

With that said, if you and your teen have a relationship based on giving and taking advice, and you are used to working with them on these kinds of projects, it might be worth trying to support them.

Still, be aware of the issues of time and deadlines below.

3. Does your teen tend to procrastinate?

Here’s a shocking statistic: 90% or more of college applicants submit their applications 48 hours or closer to the deadline. Only one out of 10 teens avoids procrastinating on college apps.

Which group does your teen fall into? This answer matters for your decision to help them with their college essay.

If your student hasn’t started working on their essay yet, and you remind them to do so, you’ll be seen as nagging. Every time you ask them about the essay, it can create more anxiety and conflict.

Even the most self-motivated students struggle with writing college essays because it’s such a mentally daunting task.

Fortunately, this may not be a bad thing. Researcher and author Adam Grant has noted that it can be beneficial to procrastinate on mentally daunting tasks because it gives the brain more time to cement its thinking.

That doesn’t mean your teen will be any less bothered by your nudges to get them started.

If your teen is a procrastinator and you feel it may get in the way of them submitting their best quality work, consider an essay coach to help your teen stay on track throughout the process.

4. Have you estimated the time it will take to provide solid support?

Parents often begin helping their teens with their college essays with the perspective that this experience will be similar to helping with a homework assignment.

This couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Providing adequate support to your teen on their college essay will likely take between five and 10 hours at a minimum. If your teen is applying to multiple essay-intensive schools, you could be looking at up to 40 hours of essay support.

If you have that much free time to devote to the process, then providing help could be a good option. But you don’t want to begin helping your teen, then need to pull back because the process is taking too long.

A Fun, Helpful Way to Support Them With Their Essay

Despite these questions, many parents will still try to help their teen with college essays.

If you’re going to help, try this challenge, which can make the process better for everyone. Here’s how it works:

Set a deadline with your teen of when both of you will write a college essay . If this idea stresses you out because of how busy you are, you are becoming more empathetic to your teen’s experience already.

After empathizing with your teen’s stress about getting started, write your essay. Start by talking over the Common Application essay prompts and deciding which ones appeal to you. You might choose a different prompt than the one your teen will be working on.

Important: write the essay from the perspective of when you were 17 or 18. Not only will your teen respect you for writing your own essay, but they will also get a glimpse into the mindset of their parent from decades ago.

Then, when you’re done, make a fun evening out of it by reading your essays out loud together, or trading them and providing feedback.

At the end, you'll have shared a bonding experience, your teen will have a new level of respect for you and understanding of you, and you’ll have more empathy for the challenge they’re facing.

Make This Year as Good as It Can Be

For many families, a teen’s senior year of high school is the last time parents and child will live together full-time.

Whether that ends up being the case or not, take steps to make it an enjoyable year:

  • Reduce conflict, and build a stronger relationship
  • Avoid unnecessary stress about college apps and essays
  • Offer resources to help them do their best work and finish early

There are many options available today for parents who want to support their teens in writing great college essays, so teens can get into the target and reach schools on their lists:

  • Use an essay coaching company to assist with the written parts of the application. Explore this review of several essay coaching options .
  • There are also independent educational consultants (IECs) in your area who can help provide your teen with guidance on the entire college search and application process.

After working with over 50,000 students on their college essays, I’ve learned an important lesson that I’d like to share with you: Most teens won’t ask for help because they don’t want to bother their parents with the time or money it might cost to provide it.

But if you look into the options and offer your teen the help they may need, they’ll rarely turn it down. Take some time to decide on the best way to support your teen through the process, and make their senior year as stress-free as it can be.

Brad Schiller is an MIT graduate, as well as the CEO and Co-Founder of Prompt, the world’s most respected and fastest-growing college essay coaching and feedback company. Visit the Prompt website , or connect with them on Facebook , Twitter or LinkedIn .

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Ultimate Guide to Writing Your College Essay

Tips for writing an effective college essay.

College admissions essays are an important part of your college application and gives you the chance to show colleges and universities your character and experiences. This guide will give you tips to write an effective college essay.

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4 Ways Parents Can Help With College Essays

How to support your teen without cramping their style.

do parents write college essays

Everyone is stressed about college essays: parents and teenagers alike. It can seem like an impossible task — high schoolers have to be poignant but not saccharine, clever but not flippant, polished but not too tidy. And they have to try to stand out from thousands of other high schoolers all trying to do the same thing.

Add to that the fact that college essays require a different form of writing than what’s commonly covered in high school, and it becomes an understandably daunting feat for any teenager. But how can you offer support without crossing an ethical boundary, hampering your child’s authentic voice, or intruding on your child’s space?

It’s a fine line to walk, but there are ways that you can assist your teenager through this thorny writing process while also honoring personal and ethical boundaries. Keep reading for tips!

1. Offer structure with regard to time management and planning

When it comes to writing expressively about their core qualities, high schoolers need lots of time (often weeks, not days) to brainstorm and reflect on who they are and what they value. Then, they need lots more time after that to word-vomit, clarify, revise, re-structure, and polish. Most students take at least a couple of months to produce a clean and finalized version of a personal statement, and that isn’t even counting the time they’ll need to write supplemental essays.

Without pushing too hard or cranking up your child’s stress level, you can take this as an opportunity to help your child define a reasonable timeline and set some incremental deadlines for their essay work. Here are a few questions you might discuss with your teenager, to help them cultivate an awareness of time:

  • How long does it typically take you to write essays for school?
  • When would you ideally love to have a final draft of your personal statement? (Hint: supplemental essay prompts get rolled out in August, so your teenager should ideally be switching their focus to supplemental essays by then)
  • What are your weekly and monthly goals ?
  • Do you have a special time and place set aside to work on your personal statement each week?

2. Chat with your teenager about their most vivid memories from childhood and adolescence

This one is more delicate. We don’t recommend that you pitch your teenager specific stories that you think would be most impressive in a college essay: it’s critically important that the storytelling impulse come from them organically. That being said, you can help your teenager get in touch with moments and memories that were meaningful to them by reminiscing together – take a walk by the old house you used to live in, ask for their help making the meal they loved as a toddler, show them pictures from family trips. If they seem excited about any particular memory, you can encourage them to reflect on how those moments might have shaped their personality or values by asking a few open-ended questions:

  • What do you remember most about that time/place?
  • Do you feel like you’re the same person you were then?
  • What did you love about that time/place?

PS. To help your child feel less “interrogated,” let them ask you questions about your memories, too!

3. Take their temperature before offering feedback

Before you dive directly into giving your teenager feedback on their essay, take a beat to check in with them: how are they feeling about their essay? How are they feeling about their progress?

First of all, asking questions like this invites your child to reflect on the choices they’ve made and why they have made them; it encourages them to understand that they are a critical part of the assessment process.

Second of all, no matter your particular family dynamic, you’re the parent and your opinion matters deeply to your child. If a student feels profoundly proud of their essay, an unwitting negative opinion from a parent can be derailing and destabilizing. So make sure to understand where your teen is in their writing journey before bringing down the hammer.

4. Let grammar slide

It may seem counterintuitive, but if your teenager gives you a draft of their essay to look at, try to steer clear of granular, nitty-gritty critiques. To write well, your child needs to maintain a buoyant spirit of exploration and discovery – so your job is to help them strengthen what they’re doing well, focus on the big picture, and don’t sweat the small stuff. Wait to offer feedback on grammar, punctuation, or word count until the very end of the process, once their ideas are in place. Until then, help them deepen their insights and specify their vision, and make it clear that you’re their cheerleader through this whole process.

Under the right circumstances, helping your high schooler with their college essays can be a lovely bonding experience. But as we all know, sometimes teens keep their parents at arm’s length while they’re establishing their independence. In that case, know that you can always call in an outside voice to guide your child, leaving you free to focus on being their parent instead of their editor. Our college admissions experts are available to partner with you at any stage of the process.

Caroline Hertz

  • How to Write a College Essay

College admissions experts offer tips on selecting a topic as well as writing and editing the essay.

do parents write college essays

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Students can go online to review essay requirements for the colleges they want to apply to, such as word limits and essay topics. Many students may start with the Common App, an application platform accepted by more than 1,000 schools.

For college applicants, the essay is the place to showcase their writing skills and let their unique voice shine through.

"The essays are important in part because this is a student's chance to really speak directly to the admissions office," says Adam Sapp, assistant vice president and director of admissions at Pomona College in California.

Prospective college students want their essay, sometimes called a personal statement, to make a good impression and boost their chances of being accepted, but they have only several hundred words to make that happen.

This can feel like a lot of pressure.

"I think this is the part of the application process that students are sometimes most challenged by," says Niki Barron, associate dean of admission at Hamilton College in New York, "because they're looking at a blank piece of paper and they don't know where to get started."

That pressure may be amplified as many colleges have gone test optional in recent years, meaning that ACT and SAT scores will be considered if submitted but are not required. Other schools have gone test-blind and don't consider such scores at all. In the absence of test scores, some admissions experts have suggested that more attention will be paid to other parts of an application, such as the essay.

But just as each applicant is unique, so are college admissions policies and priorities.

"Being test optional hasn't changed how we use essays in our selection process, and I wouldn't say that the essay serves as a substitute for standardized test scores," Barron wrote in an email. "A student's academic preparation for our classroom experience is always front and center in our application review process."

On June 29, 2023, the Supreme Court ruled against college admissions policies that consider an applicant's race. The ruling, though, does not prohibit students from writing essays on how their race has affected them, which experts say could significantly affect how students approach this portion of their applications.

Essay-writing tips offered by experts emphasize the importance of being concise, coherent, congenial, unique, honest and accurate. An applicant should also flex some intellectual muscle and include vivid details or anecdotes.

From brainstorming essay topics to editing the final draft, here's what students need to know about crafting a strong college application essay.

Getting Started on the College Essay

How long should a college essay be, how to pick a college essay topic, writing the college essay, how the affirmative action ruling could change college essays, editing and submitting the college essay.

A good time for students to begin working on their essays is the summer before senior year, experts say, when homework and extracurricular activities aren't taking up time and mental energy.

Starting early will also give students plenty of time to work through multiple drafts of an essay before college application deadlines, which can be as early as November for students applying for early decision or early action .

Students can go online to review essay requirements for the colleges they want to apply to, such as word limits and essay topics. Many students may start with the Common App , an application platform accepted by more than 1,000 schools. Students can submit that application to multiple schools.

Another option is the Coalition Application, an application platform accepted by more than 130 schools. Students applying through this application choose from one of six essay prompts to complete and include with their application.

In addition to the main essay, some colleges ask applicants to submit one or more additional writing samples. Students are often asked to explain why they are interested in a particular school or academic field in these supplemental essays , which tend to be shorter than the main essay.

Students should budget more time for the writing process if the schools they're applying to ask for supplemental essays.

"Most selective colleges will ask for more than one piece of writing. Don't spend all your time working on one long essay and then forget to devote energy to other parts of the application," Sapp says.

Though the Common App notes that "there are no strict word limits" for its main essay, it suggests a cap of about 650 words. The Coalition Application website says its essays should be between 500 and 650 words.

"While we won't, as a rule, stop reading after 650 words, we cannot promise that an overly wordy essay will hold our attention for as long as you'd hoped it would," the Common App website states.

The word count is much shorter for institution-specific supplemental essays, which are typically around 250 words.

The first and sometimes most daunting step in the essay writing process is figuring out what to write about.

There are usually several essay prompts to choose from on a college application. They tend to be broad, open-ended questions, giving students the freedom to write about a wide array of topics, Barron says.

The essay isn't a complete autobiography, notes Mimi Doe, co-founder of Top Tier Admissions, a Massachusetts-based advising company. "It's overwhelming to think of putting your whole life in one essay," she says.

Rather, experts say students should narrow their focus and write about a specific experience, hobby or quirk that reveals something personal, like how they think, what they value or what their strengths are. Students can also write about something that illustrates an aspect of their background. These are the types of essays that typically stand out to admissions officers, experts say. Even an essay on a common topic can be compelling if done right.

Students don't have to discuss a major achievement in their essay – a common misconception. Admissions officers who spoke with U.S. News cited memorable essays that focused on more ordinary topics, including fly-fishing, a student's commute to and from school and a family's dining room table.

What's most important, experts say, is that a college essay is thoughtful and tells a story that offers insight into who a student is as a person.

"Think of the college essay as a meaningful glimpse of who you are beyond your other application materials," Pierre Huguet, CEO and founder of admissions consulting firm H&C Education, wrote in an email. "After reading your essay, the reader won't fully know you – at least not entirely. Your objective is to evoke the reader's curiosity and make them eager to get to know you."

If students are having trouble brainstorming potential topics, they can ask friends or family members for help, says Stephanie Klein Wassink, founder of Winning Applications and AdmissionsCheckup, Connecticut-based college admissions advising companies. Klein Wassink says students can ask peers or family members questions such as, "What are the things you think I do well?" Or, "What are my quirks?"

The essay should tell college admissions officers something they don't already know, experts say.

Some experts encourage students to outline their essay before jumping into the actual writing, though of course everyone's writing process differs.

The first draft of an essay doesn't need to be perfect. "Just do a brain dump," Doe says. "Don't edit yourself, just lay it all out on the page."

If students are having a hard time getting started, they should focus on their opening sentence, Doe suggests. She says an essay's opening sentence, or hook, should grab the reader's attention.

Doe offered an example of a strong hook from the essay of a student she worked with:

"I first got into politics the day the cafeteria outlawed creamed corn."

"I want to know about this kid," she says. "I’m interested."

The key to a good college essay is striking a balance between being creative and not overdoing it, Huguet says. He advises students to keep it simple.

"The college essay is not a fiction writing contest," Huguet says. "Admissions committees are not evaluating you on your potential as the next writer of the Great American Novel."

He adds that students should write in the voice they use to discuss meaningful topics with someone they trust. It's also wise to avoid hyperbole, as that can lose the readers' trust, as well as extraneous adverbs and adjectives, Huguet says.

"Thinking small, when done right, means paying close attention to the little things in your life that give it meaning in unique ways," he says. "It means, on the one hand, that you don’t have to come up with a plan for world peace, but it also means thinking small enough to identify details in your life that belong only to you."

The Supreme Court's ruling on affirmative action has left some students feeling in limbo with how to approach their essays. Some are unsure whether to include racial identifiers while others feel pressure to exclude it, says Christopher Rim, CEO and founder of Command Education, an admissions consulting company.

"For instance, some of our Asian students have been concerned that referencing their culture or race in their essay could negatively impact them (even moreso than before)," Rim wrote in an email. He noted that many students he works with had already begun crafting their essays before the ruling came. "Some of our other students have felt pressure to disclose their race or share a story of discrimination or struggle because they expect those stories to be received better by admissions officers."

Some of the uneasiness stems from what feels like a contradictory message from the court, Rim says. In his majority opinion, Chief Justice John Roberts Jr., said the ruling shouldn't be construed "as prohibiting universities from considering an applicant’s discussion of how race affected his or her life, be it through discrimination, inspiration, or otherwise." But he added that colleges may consider race only if it's tied to an applicant’s individual experiences or qualities, such as demonstrating courage against discrimination.

Personal essays shouldn't serve as a way for universities to ask students about their race as a means to admit them on such basis, Roberts added.

Rim says he expects there to be a lot of confusion from parents and students as they navigate that line when writing their essay. He says his guidance will vary with each student depending on their specific situation.

"For a student from an immigrant family, sharing their racial and cultural background may be integral to understanding their identity and values and therefore should be included in the essay," he says. "On the other hand, a student who has never meaningfully considered ways in which their race has shaped their life experience and worldview should not push themselves to do so in their essay simply because they believe it will better their chances."

While admissions officers try to learn about students via the essay, they are also gauging writing skills, so students want to make sure they submit top-notch work.

"The best writing is rewriting," Sapp says. "You should never be giving me your first draft."

When reviewing a first essay draft, students should make sure their writing is showing, not telling, Huguet says. This means students should show their readers examples that prove they embody certain traits or beliefs, as opposed to just stating that they do. Doing so is like explaining a joke to someone who's already laughed at it, he says.

"Let’s say, for example, that the whole point of a certain applicant’s essay is to let admissions officers know that she thinks outside the box. If she feels the need to end her essay with a sentence like, 'And so, this anecdote shows that I think outside the box,' she’s either underestimating the power of her story (or the ability of her reader to understand it), or she hasn’t done a good enough job in telling it yet," Huguet says. "Let your readers come to their own conclusions. If your story is effective, they’ll come to the conclusions you want them to."

After editing their essay, students should seek outside editing help, experts recommend. While there are individuals and companies that offer paid essay help – from editing services to essay-writing boot camps – students and families may not be able to afford the associated fees. Some providers may offer scholarships or other financial aid for their services.

The availability and level of feedback from free essay advising services vary. Some college prep companies offer brief consultations at no charge. Free essay workshops may also be available through local high schools, public libraries or community organizations. Khan Academy, a free online education platform, also offers a series of videos and other content to guide students through the essay writing process.

Colleges themselves may also have resources, Barron notes, pointing to pages on Hamilton's website that offer writing tips as well as examples of successful admissions essays. Likewise, Hamilton also holds virtual panel discussions on writing admissions essays.

Students have other options when it comes to essay help. They can ask peers, teachers, school counselors and family members for help polishing an essay. Huguet says it's typically wise to prioritize quality over quantity when it comes to seeking feedback on essays. Too many perspectives can become counterproductive, he says.

"While it can be valuable to have different perspectives, it's best to seek out individuals who are experts in the writing process," he says. "Instructors or professors can be helpful, particularly if they possess subject expertise and can provide guidance on refining arguments, structure and overall coherence."

Proofreaders should not change the tone of the essay. "Don't let anyone edit out your voice," Doe cautions.

And while proofreading is fair game, having someone else write your essay is not.

When an essay is ready to go, students will generally submit it online along with the rest of their application. On the Common App, for example, students copy and paste their essay into a text box.

Sapp says even though students often stress about the essay in particular, it's not the only thing college admissions officers look at. "The essay is the window, but the application is the house," he says. "So let's not forget that an application is built of many pieces."

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The Parents’ Role in the College Essay

do parents write college essays

To the ever-under-appreciated parents of teenagers,

We know how hard it is to be parents. You’re walking a fine line between wanting what is best for your children and trying to let them make their own decisions (and, let’s be honest, their own mistakes). Your child will only apply to college once, and it can be difficult to know how to balance your parental instincts with letting your student take ownership of the process. The good news is that we are here to make your life a little easier by allowing you to take a step back while we harangue your child to help get him where he needs to be in the admissions process.

Let’s address what’s probably the most stressful part of our journey together: the college essays. We will tackle this in three parts: first, we will discuss how most kids approach their essays, how Passport Admissions works with your child on their essays, and the best role of parents in this process.

How Most Kids Approach the College Essay

Most seventeen-year-olds think, “What can I say that will make colleges accept me?” They write essays based on what they believe colleges want to hear. And as a result, most kids make crucial mistakes in their college essays.

Mistake #1 - Most kids brag too much in their college essays.

How many valedictorians apply to college? All of them. How many class presidents? All of them. How many team captains? You get the idea.

There is virtually nothing that kids can brag about that will sell themselves to an admissions office. When a student tries to brag about himself in his essay: a) it doesn't work, and b) the essay blends into the pile of all the other applicants who are trying to do the same thing.

Mistake #2 - Most kids write essays that look and sound the same.

A former admissions officer for UVA, Parke Muth, once compared the college essay to a Big Mac.  Not because the essays are tasty and not because they have layers (though it can be argued that the college essay, like the Big Mac, is hazardous to your health). No, the college essay is like a Big Mac, because no matter where you go, the essays look and taste the same. Thus, Muth coined the term McEssay to refer to the generic college essay.

McEssays typically fall into one of the following five flavors. You will want to avoid these topics at all costs.

  • The hard work essay - "Being captain of the soccer team involved a lot of hard work, but I learned important lessons in leadership and perseverance."
  • The family trip to Europe essay - "Going to France showed me just how different other cultures are."
  • The summer program for gifted youth essay - "I am so fortunate to have been able to attend the National Youth Leadership Conference."
  • The athletics essay - "We lost the championship, but we came together as a team."
  • The saving the world through community service essay - "Building houses in Mexico was so rewarding."

We know these experiences have been meaningful to many of our students. But writing a McEssay makes a student blend in with every other applicant, so we have to find a unique topic.

Mistake #3 - Most kids polish all of the personality out of their essays.

Most students write their college essays by committee, seeking input and feedback from multiple teachers and parents, who - despite good intentions - will polish all of the life and personality out of the essay. Your teenager should sound like a teenager in his college essay. Consider the following excerpts:

"My nascent drum career began when I was twelve. Learning to play the drums was quite challenging at first, because I had little formal training and needed to learn more about rhythm and chord structure in order to contribute to my band. After rehearsing for innumerable hours, I eventually was able to keep up, but I still needed more help. I decided to get lessons to help improve my overall musical knowledge and particularly improve my music theory. In the end, the lessons paid off, and our band was better than ever."

"A band's drummer is the stupid one. He is the one paid not to write songs or to think, but to sit in the back and hit his instrument, as he is clearly far too idiotic to do anything more. I am a drummer, and while I like to think I am above this stereotype, I do sit in the back, behind all the “real musicians,” blissfully ignorant of ongoing deliberation over “What capo he needs to be in to be in the key of G”, perfectly happy that I understand none of it and absolutely satisfied with my lack of involvement, or responsibility to the band’s success. This being said, I am a good drummer, and when a musician needed a moron - I was a solid choice."

Which sounds like a high school student, and which like a parent? In revising an essay, it is crucial to keep the voice of the student and not to make it sound like it was written by a 40-year-old.

The Primary Purpose of the College Essay

The primary purpose of the college essay is to let the college get to know you and like you. That's it. When evaluating a college essay, we ask:

  • What do we learn about you?
  • Do we like you?
  • Is it interesting?
  • Is it generally free from grammatical and stylistic errors?

What role should parents play?

You know your kid a lot better than we do. We can't tell you exactly how much parental involvement will be the right amount for your student.

But we can at least share this insight about the college essays: the students who have had the most success have been the ones whose parents have been involved the least. Almost without fail, the students who have been accepted into their top choice colleges have been the ones whose parents have trusted their student to write great essays, helped their student only when asked, and otherwise stayed out of the process entirely.  And of course, these are the same families that seem to most enjoy the last year of their child living at home.

So there you have it. We hope that you are as excited as we are to help your student write the best essays she can write. Remember that we are not only experts on this stuff, but we really, really enjoy doing it. For us, editing is fun, and getting to know your student and his passions is what makes our jobs interesting and worthwhile.

If you have questions or want help with your college essay, schedule a free introductory meeting with one of our college advisors.

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College Admissions , College Essays

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Writing your personal statement for your college application is an undeniably overwhelming project. Your essay is your big shot to show colleges who you are—it's totally reasonable to get stressed out. But don't let that stress paralyze you.

This guide will walk you through each step of the essay writing process to help you understand exactly what you need to do to write the best possible personal statement . I'm also going to follow an imaginary student named Eva as she plans and writes her college essay, from her initial organization and brainstorming to her final edits. By the end of this article, you'll have all the tools you need to create a fantastic, effective college essay.

So how do you write a good college essay? The process starts with finding the best possible topic , which means understanding what the prompt is asking for and taking the time to brainstorm a variety of options. Next, you'll determine how to create an interesting essay that shows off your unique perspective and write multiple drafts in order to hone your structure and language. Once your writing is as effective and engaging as possible, you'll do a final sweep to make sure everything is correct .

This guide covers the following steps:

#1: Organizing #2: Brainstorming #3: Picking a topic #4: Making a plan #5: Writing a draft #6: Editing your draft #7: Finalizing your draft #8: Repeating the process

Step 1: Get Organized

The first step in how to write a college essay is figuring out what you actually need to do. Although many schools are now on the Common App, some very popular colleges, including Rutgers and University of California, still have their own applications and writing requirements. Even for Common App schools, you may need to write a supplemental essay or provide short answers to questions.

Before you get started, you should know exactly what essays you need to write. Having this information allows you to plan the best approach to each essay and helps you cut down on work by determining whether you can use an essay for more than one prompt.

Start Early

Writing good college essays involves a lot of work: you need dozens of hours to get just one personal statement properly polished , and that's before you even start to consider any supplemental essays.

In order to make sure you have plenty of time to brainstorm, write, and edit your essay (or essays), I recommend starting at least two months before your first deadline . The last thing you want is to end up with a low-quality essay you aren't proud of because you ran out of time and had to submit something unfinished.

Determine What You Need to Do

As I touched on above, each college has its own essay requirements, so you'll need to go through and determine what exactly you need to submit for each school . This process is simple if you're only using the Common App, since you can easily view the requirements for each school under the "My Colleges" tab. Watch out, though, because some schools have a dedicated "Writing Supplement" section, while others (even those that want a full essay) will put their prompts in the "Questions" section.

It gets trickier if you're applying to any schools that aren't on the Common App. You'll need to look up the essay requirements for each college—what's required should be clear on the application itself, or you can look under the "how to apply" section of the school's website.

Once you've determined the requirements for each school, I recommend making yourself a chart with the school name, word limit, and application deadline on one side and the prompt or prompts you need to respond to on the other . That way you'll be able to see exactly what you need to do and when you need to do it by.

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The hardest part about writing your college essays is getting started. 

Decide Where to Start

If you have one essay that's due earlier than the others, start there. Otherwise, start with the essay for your top choice school.

I would also recommend starting with a longer personal statement before moving on to shorter supplementary essays , since the 500-700 word essays tend to take quite a bit longer than 100-250 word short responses. The brainstorming you do for the long essay may help you come up with ideas you like for the shorter ones as well.

Also consider whether some of the prompts are similar enough that you could submit the same essay to multiple schools . Doing so can save you some time and let you focus on a few really great essays rather than a lot of mediocre ones.

However, don't reuse essays for dissimilar or very school-specific prompts, especially "why us" essays . If a college asks you to write about why you're excited to go there, admissions officers want to see evidence that you're genuinely interested. Reusing an essay about another school and swapping out the names is the fastest way to prove you aren't.

Example: Eva's College List

Eva is applying early to Emory University and regular decision to University of Washington, UCLA, and Reed College. Emory, the University of Washington, and Reed both use the Common App, while University of Washington, Emory, and Reed all use the Coalition App.

Even though she's only applying to four schools, Eva has a lot to do: two essays for UW, four for the UCLA application, one for the Common App (or the Coalition App), and two essays for Emory. Many students will have fewer requirements to complete, but those who are applying to very selective schools or a number of schools on different applications will have as many or even more responses to write.

Eva's first deadline is early decision for Emory, she'll start by writing the Common App essay, and then work on the Emory supplements. (For the purposes of this post, we'll focus on the Common App essay.)

Pro tip: If this sounds like a lot of work, that's because it is. Writing essays for your college applications is demanding and takes a lot of time and thought. You don't have to do it alone, though. PrepScholar has helped students like you get into top-tier colleges like Stanford, Yale, Harvard, and Brown. Our essay experts can help you craft amazing essays that boost your chances of getting into your dream school . 

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Step 2: Brainstorm

Next up in how to write a college essay: brainstorming essay ideas. There are tons of ways to come up with ideas for your essay topic: I've outlined three below. I recommend trying all of them and compiling a list of possible topics, then narrowing it down to the very best one or, if you're writing multiple essays, the best few.

Keep in mind as you brainstorm that there's no best college essay topic, just the best topic for you . Don't feel obligated to write about something because you think you should—those types of essays tend to be boring and uninspired. Similarly, don't simply write about the first idea that crosses your mind because you don't want to bother trying to think of something more interesting. Take the time to come up with a topic you're really excited about and that you can write about in detail.

Want to write the perfect college application essay?   We can help.   Your dedicated PrepScholar Admissions counselor will help you craft your perfect college essay, from the ground up. We learn your background and interests, brainstorm essay topics, and walk you through the essay drafting process, step-by-step. At the end, you'll have a unique essay to proudly submit to colleges.   Don't leave your college application to chance. Find out more about PrepScholar Admissions now:

Analyze the Prompts

One way to find possible topics is to think deeply about the college's essay prompt. What are they asking you for? Break them down and analyze every angle.

Does the question include more than one part ? Are there multiple tasks you need to complete?

What do you think the admissions officers are hoping to learn about you ?

In cases where you have more than one choice of prompt, does one especially appeal to you ? Why?

Let's dissect one of the University of Washington prompts as an example:

"Our families and communities often define us and our individual worlds. Community might refer to your cultural group, extended family, religious group, neighborhood or school, sports team or club, co-workers, etc. Describe the world you come from and how you, as a product of it, might add to the diversity of the UW. "

This question is basically asking how your personal history, such as your childhood, family, groups you identify with etc. helped you become the person you are now. It offers a number of possible angles.

You can talk about the effects of either your family life (like your relationship with your parents or what your household was like growing up) or your cultural history (like your Jewish faith or your Venezuelan heritage). You can also choose between focusing on positive or negative effects of your family or culture. No matter what however, the readers definitely want to hear about your educational goals (i.e. what you hope to get out of college) and how they're related to your personal experience.

As you try to think of answers for a prompt, imagine about what you would say if you were asked the question by a friend or during a get-to-know-you icebreaker. After all, admissions officers are basically just people who you want to get to know you.

The essay questions can make a great jumping off point, but don't feel married to them. Most prompts are general enough that you can come up with an idea and then fit it to the question.

Consider Important Experiences, Events, and Ideas in Your Life

What experience, talent, interest or other quirk do you have that you might want to share with colleges? In other words, what makes you you? Possible topics include hobbies, extracurriculars, intellectual interests, jobs, significant one-time events, pieces of family history, or anything else that has shaped your perspective on life.

Unexpected or slightly unusual topics are often the best : your passionate love of Korean dramas or your yearly family road trip to an important historical site. You want your essay to add something to your application, so if you're an All-American soccer player and want to write about the role soccer has played in your life, you'll have a higher bar to clear.

Of course if you have a more serious part of your personal history—the death of a parent, serious illness, or challenging upbringing—you can write about that. But make sure you feel comfortable sharing details of the experience with the admissions committee and that you can separate yourself from it enough to take constructive criticism on your essay.

monkey

Think About How You See Yourself

The last brainstorming method is to consider whether there are particular personality traits you want to highlight . This approach can feel rather silly, but it can also be very effective.

If you were trying to sell yourself to an employer, or maybe even a potential date, how would you do it? Try to think about specific qualities that make you stand out. What are some situations in which you exhibited this trait?

Example: Eva's Ideas

Looking at the Common App prompts, Eva wasn't immediately drawn to any of them, but after a bit of consideration she thought it might be nice to write about her love of literature for the first one, which asks about something "so meaningful your application would be incomplete without it." Alternatively, she liked the specificity of the failure prompt and thought she might write about a bad job interview she had had.

In terms of important events, Eva's parents got divorced when she was three and she's been going back and forth between their houses for as long as she can remember, so that's a big part of her personal story. She's also played piano for all four years of high school, although she's not particularly good.

As for personal traits, Eva is really proud of her curiosity—if she doesn't know something, she immediately looks it up, and often ends up discovering new topics she's interested in. It's a trait that's definitely come in handy as a reporter for her school paper.

Step 3: Narrow Down Your List

Now you have a list of potential topics, but probably no idea where to start. The next step is to go through your ideas and determine which one will make for the strongest essay . You'll then begin thinking about how best to approach it.

What to Look for in a College Essay Topic

There's no single answer to the question of what makes a great college essay topic, but there are some key factors you should keep in mind. The best essays are focused, detailed, revealing and insightful, and finding the right topic is vital to writing a killer essay with all of those qualities.

As you go through your ideas, be discriminating—really think about how each topic could work as an essay. But don't be too hard on yourself ; even if an idea may not work exactly the way you first thought, there may be another way to approach it. Pay attention to what you're really excited about and look for ways to make those ideas work.

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Consideration 1: Does It Matter to You?

If you don't care about your topic, it will be hard to convince your readers to care about it either. You can't write a revealing essay about yourself unless you write about a topic that is truly important to you.

But don't confuse important to you with important to the world: a college essay is not a persuasive argument. The point is to give the reader a sense of who you are , not to make a political or intellectual point. The essay needs to be personal.

Similarly, a lot of students feel like they have to write about a major life event or their most impressive achievement. But the purpose of a personal statement isn't to serve as a resume or a brag sheet—there are plenty of other places in the application for you to list that information. Many of the best essays are about something small because your approach to a common experience generally reveals a lot about your perspective on the world.

Mostly, your topic needs to have had a genuine effect on your outlook , whether it taught you something about yourself or significantly shifted your view on something else.

Consideration 2: Does It Tell the Reader Something Different About You?

Your essay should add something to your application that isn't obvious elsewhere. Again, there are sections for all of your extracurriculars and awards; the point of the essay is to reveal something more personal that isn't clear just from numbers and lists.

You also want to make sure that if you're sending more than one essay to a school—like a Common App personal statement and a school-specific supplement—the two essays take on different topics.

Consideration 3: Is It Specific?

Your essay should ultimately have a very narrow focus. 650 words may seem like a lot, but you can fill it up very quickly. This means you either need to have a very specific topic from the beginning or find a specific aspect of a broader topic to focus on.

If you try to take on a very broad topic, you'll end up with a bunch of general statements and boring lists of your accomplishments. Instead, you want to find a short anecdote or single idea to explore in depth .

Consideration 4: Can You Discuss It in Detail?

A vague essay is a boring essay— specific details are what imbue your essay with your personality . For example, if I tell my friend that I had a great dessert yesterday, she probably won't be that interested. But if I explain that I ate an amazing piece of peach raspberry pie with flaky, buttery crust and filling that was both sweet and tart, she will probably demand to know where I obtained it (at least she will if she appreciates the joys of pie). She'll also learn more about me: I love pie and I analyze desserts with great seriousness.

Given the importance of details, writing about something that happened a long time ago or that you don't remember well isn't usually a wise choice . If you can't describe something in depth, it will be challenging to write a compelling essay about it.

You also shouldn't pick a topic you aren't actually comfortable talking about . Some students are excited to write essays about very personal topics, like their mother's bipolar disorder or their family's financial struggles, but others dislike sharing details about these kinds of experiences. If you're a member of the latter group, that's totally okay, just don't write about one of these sensitive topics.

Still, don't worry that every single detail has to be perfectly correct. Definitely don't make anything up, but if you remember a wall as green and it was really blue, your readers won't notice or care.

ginko

Consideration 5: Can It Be Related to the Prompt?

As long as you're talking about yourself, there are very few ideas that you can't tie back to one of the Common App or Coalition App prompts. But if you're applying to a school with its own more specific prompt, or working on supplemental essays, making sure to address the question will be a greater concern.

Deciding on a Topic

Once you've gone through the questions above, you should have a good sense of what you want to write about. Hopefully, it's also gotten you started thinking about how you can best approach that topic, but we'll cover how to plan your essay more fully in the next step.

If after going through the narrowing process, you've eliminated all your topics, first look back over them: are you being too hard on yourself? Are there any that you really like, but just aren't totally sure what angle to take on? If so, try looking at the next section and seeing if you can't find a different way to approach it.

If you just don't have an idea you're happy with, that's okay! Give yourself a week to think about it. Sometimes you'll end up having a genius idea in the car on the way to school or while studying for your U.S. history test. Otherwise, try the brainstorming process again when you've had a break.

If, on the other hand, you have more than one idea you really like, consider whether any of them can be used for other essays you need to write.

Example: Picking Eva's Topic

  • Love of books
  • Failed job interview
  • Parents' divorce

Eva immediately rules out writing about playing piano, because it sounds super boring to her, and it's not something she is particularly passionate about. She also decides not to write about splitting time between her parents because she just isn't comfortable sharing her feelings about it with an admissions committee.

She feels more positive about the other three, so she decides to think about them for a couple of days. She ends up ruling out the job interview because she just can't come up with that many details she could include.

She's excited about both of her last two ideas, but sees issues with both of them: the books idea is very broad and the reporting idea doesn't seem to apply to any of the prompts. Then she realizes that she can address the solving a problem prompt by talking about a time she was trying to research a story about the closing of a local movie theater, so she decides to go with that topic.

Step 4: Figure Out Your Approach

You've decided on a topic, but now you need to turn that topic into an essay. To do so, you need to determine what specifically you're focusing on and how you'll structure your essay.

If you're struggling or uncertain, try taking a look at some examples of successful college essays . It can be helpful to dissect how other personal statements are structured to get ideas for your own , but don't fall into the trap of trying to copy someone else's approach. Your essay is your story—never forget that.

Let's go through the key steps that will help you turn a great topic into a great essay.

Choose a Focal Point

As I touched on above, the narrower your focus, the easier it will be to write a unique, engaging personal statement. The simplest way to restrict the scope of your essay is to recount an anecdote , i.e. a short personal story that illustrates your larger point.

For example, say a student was planning to write about her Outward Bound trip in Yosemite. If she tries to tell the entire story of her trip, her essay will either be far too long or very vague. Instead, she decides to focus in on a specific incident that exemplifies what mattered to her about the experience: her failed attempt to climb Half Dome. She described the moment she decided to turn back without reaching the top in detail, while touching on other parts of the climb and trip where appropriate. This approach lets her create a dramatic arc in just 600 words, while fully answering the question posed in the prompt (Common App prompt 2).

Of course, concentrating on an anecdote isn't the only way to narrow your focus. Depending on your topic, it might make more sense to build your essay around an especially meaningful object, relationship, or idea.

Another approach our example student from above could take to the same general topic would be to write about the generosity of fellow hikers (in response to Common App prompt 4). Rather than discussing a single incident, she could tell the story of her trip through times she was supported by other hikers: them giving tips on the trails, sharing snacks, encouraging her when she was tired, etc. A structure like this one can be trickier than the more straightforward anecdote approach , but it can also make for an engaging and different essay.

When deciding what part of your topic to focus on, try to find whatever it is about the topic that is most meaningful and unique to you . Once you've figured that part out, it will guide how you structure the essay.

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Decide What You Want to Show About Yourself

Remember that the point of the college essay isn't just to tell a story, it's to show something about yourself. It's vital that you have a specific point you want to make about what kind of person you are , what kind of college student you'd make, or what the experience you're describing taught you.

Since the papers you write for school are mostly analytical, you probably aren't used to writing about your own feelings. As such, it can be easy to neglect the reflection part of the personal statement in favor of just telling a story. Yet explaining what the event or idea you discuss meant to you is the most important essay —knowing how you want to tie your experiences back to your personal growth from the beginning will help you make sure to include it.

Develop a Structure

It's not enough to just know what you want to write about—you also need to have a sense of how you're going to write about it. You could have the most exciting topic of all time, but without a clear structure your essay will end up as incomprehensible gibberish that doesn't tell the reader anything meaningful about your personality.

There are a lot of different possible essay structures, but a simple and effective one is the compressed narrative, which builds on a specific anecdote (like the Half Dome example above):

Start in the middle of the action. Don't spend a lot of time at the beginning of your essay outlining background info—it doesn't tend to draw the reader in and you usually need less of it than you think you do. Instead start right where your story starts to get interesting. (I'll go into how to craft an intriguing opener in more depth below.)

Briefly explain what the situation is. Now that you've got the reader's attention, go back and explain anything they need to know about how you got into this situation. Don't feel compelled to fit everything in—only include the background details that are necessary to either understand what happened or illuminate your feelings about the situation in some way.

Finish the story. Once you've clarified exactly what's going on, explain how you resolved the conflict or concluded the experience.

Explain what you learned. The last step is to tie everything together and bring home the main point of your story: how this experience affected you.

The key to this type of structure is to create narrative tension—you want your reader to be wondering what happens next.

A second approach is the thematic structure, which is based on returning to a key idea or object again and again (like the boots example above):

Establish the focus. If you're going to structure your essay around a single theme or object, you need to begin the essay by introducing that key thing. You can do so with a relevant anecdote or a detailed description.

Touch on 3-5 times the focus was important. The body of your essay will consist of stringing together a few important moments related to the topic. Make sure to use sensory details to bring the reader into those points in time and keep her engaged in the essay. Also remember to elucidate why these moments were important to you.

Revisit the main idea. At the end, you want to tie everything together by revisiting the main idea or object and showing how your relationship to it has shaped or affected you. Ideally, you'll also hint at how this thing will be important to you going forward.

To make this structure work you need a very specific focus. Your love of travel, for example, is much too broad—you would need to hone in on a specific aspect of that interest, like how traveling has taught you to adapt to event the most unusual situations. Whatever you do, don't use this structure to create a glorified resume or brag sheet .

However you structure your essay, you want to make sure that it clearly lays out both the events or ideas you're describing and establishes the stakes (i.e. what it all means for you). Many students become so focused on telling a story or recounting details that they forget to explain what it all meant to them.

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Example: Eva's Essay Plan

For her essay, Eva decides to use the compressed narrative structure to tell the story of how she tried and failed to report on the closing of a historic movie theater:

  • Open with the part of her story where she finally gave up after calling the theater and city hall a dozen times.
  • Explain that although she started researching the story out of journalistic curiosity, it was important to her because she'd grown up going to movies at that theater.
  • Recount how defeated she felt when she couldn't get ahold of anyone, and then even more so when she saw a story about the theater's closing in the local paper.
  • Describer her decision to write an op-ed instead and interview other students about what the theater meant to them.
  • Finish by explaining that although she wasn't able to get the story (or stop the destruction of the theater), she learned that sometimes the emotional angle can be just as interesting as the investigative one.

Step 5: Write a First Draft

The key to writing your first draft is not to worry about whether it's any good—just get something on paper and go from there. You will have to rewrite, so trying to get everything perfect is both frustrating and futile.

Everyone has their own writing process. Maybe you feel more comfortable sitting down and writing the whole draft from beginning to end in one go. Maybe you jump around, writing a little bit here and a little there. It's okay to have sections you know won't work or to skip over things you think you'll need to include later.

Whatever your approach, there are a few tips everyone can benefit from.

Don't Aim for Perfection

I mentioned this idea above, but I can't emphasize it enough: no one writes a perfect first draft . Extensive editing and rewriting is vital to crafting an effective personal statement. Don't get too attached to any part of your draft, because you may need to change anything (or everything) about your essay later .

Also keep in mind that, at this point in the process, the goal is just to get your ideas down. Wonky phrasings and misplaced commas can easily be fixed when you edit, so don't worry about them as you write. Instead, focus on including lots of specific details and emphasizing how your topic has affected you, since these aspects are vital to a compelling essay.

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Write an Engaging Introduction

One part of the essay you do want to pay special attention to is the introduction. Your intro is your essay's first impression: you only get one. It's much harder to regain your reader's attention once you've lost it, so you want to draw the reader in with an immediately engaging hook that sets up a compelling story .

There are two possible approaches I would recommend.

The "In Media Res" Opening

You'll probably recognize this term if you studied The Odyssey: it basically means that the story starts in the middle of the action, rather than at the beginning. A good intro of this type makes the reader wonder both how you got to the point you're starting at and where you'll go from there . These openers provide a solid, intriguing beginning for narrative essays (though they can certainly for thematic structures as well).

But how do you craft one? Try to determine the most interesting point in your story and start there. If you're not sure where that is, try writing out the entire story and then crossing out each sentence in order until you get to one that immediately grabs your attention.

Here's an example from a real student's college essay:

"I strode in front of 400 frenzied eighth graders with my arm slung over my Fender Stratocaster guitar—it actually belonged to my mother—and launched into the first few chords of Nirvana's 'Lithium.'"

Anonymous , University of Virginia

This intro throws the reader right into the middle of the action. The author jumps right into the action: the performance. You can imagine how much less exciting it would be if the essay opened with an explanation of what the event was and why the author was performing.

The Specific Generalization

Sounds like an oxymoron, right? This type of intro sets up what the essay is going to talk about in a slightly unexpected way . These are a bit trickier than the "in media res" variety, but they can work really well for the right essay—generally one with a thematic structure.

The key to this type of intro is detail . Contrary to what you may have learned in elementary school, sweeping statements don't make very strong hooks. If you want to start your essay with a more overall description of what you'll be discussing, you still need to make it specific and unique enough to stand out.

Once again, let's look at some examples from real students' essays:

Neha, Johns Hopkins University

Brontë, Johns Hopkins University

Both of these intros set up the general topic of the essay (the first writer's bookshelf and and the second's love of Jane Eyre ) in an intriguing way. The first intro works because it mixes specific descriptions ("pushed against the left wall in my room") with more general commentary ("a curious piece of furniture"). The second draws the reader in by adopting a conversational and irreverent tone with asides like "if you ask me" and "This may or may not be a coincidence."

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Don't Worry Too Much About the Length

When you start writing, don't worry about your essay's length. Instead, focus on trying to include all of the details you can think of about your topic , which will make it easier to decide what you really need to include when you edit.

However, if your first draft is more than twice the word limit and you don't have a clear idea of what needs to be cut out, you may need to reconsider your focus—your topic is likely too broad. You may also need to reconsider your topic or approach if you find yourself struggling to fill space, since this usually indicates a topic that lacks a specific focus.

Eva's First Paragraph

I dialed the phone number for the fourth time that week. "Hello? This is Eva Smith, and I'm a reporter with Tiny Town High's newspaper The Falcon. I was hoping to ask you some questions about—" I heard the distinctive click of the person on the other end of the line hanging up, followed by dial tone. I was about ready to give up: I'd been trying to get the skinny on whether the Atlas Theater was actually closing to make way for a big AMC multiplex or if it was just a rumor for weeks, but no one would return my calls.

Step 6: Edit Aggressively

No one writes a perfect first draft. No matter how much you might want to be done after writing a first draft—you must take the time to edit. Thinking critically about your essay and rewriting as needed is a vital part of writing a great college essay.

Before you start editing, put your essay aside for a week or so . It will be easier to approach it objectively if you haven't seen it in a while. Then, take an initial pass to identify any big picture issues with your essay. Once you've fixed those, ask for feedback from other readers—they'll often notice gaps in logic that don't appear to you, because you're automatically filling in your intimate knowledge of the situation. Finally, take another, more detailed look at your essay to fine tune the language.

I've explained each of these steps in more depth below.

First Editing Pass

You should start the editing process by looking for any structural or thematic issues with your essay . If you see sentences that don't make sense or glaring typos of course fix them, but at this point, you're really focused on the major issues since those require the most extensive rewrites. You don't want to get your sentences beautifully structured only to realize you need to remove the entire paragraph.

This phase is really about honing your structure and your voice . As you read through your essay, think about whether it effectively draws the reader along, engages him with specific details, and shows why the topic matters to you. Try asking yourself the following questions:

  • Does the intro make you want to read more?
  • Is the progression of events and/or ideas clear?
  • Does the essay show something specific about you? What is it and can you clearly identify it in the essay?
  • Are there places where you could replace vague statements with more specific ones?
  • Do you have too many irrelevant or uninteresting details clogging up the narrative?
  • Is it too long? What can you cut out or condense without losing any important ideas or details?

Give yourself credit for what you've done well, but don't hesitate to change things that aren't working. It can be tempting to hang on to what you've already written —you took the time and thought to craft it in the first place, so it can be hard to let it go. Taking this approach is doing yourself a disservice, however. No matter how much work you put into a paragraph or much you like a phrase, if they aren't adding to your essay, they need to be cut or altered.

If there's a really big structural problem, or the topic is just not working, you may have to chuck this draft out and start from scratch . Don't panic! I know starting over is frustrating, but it's often the best way to fix major issues.

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Consulting Other Readers

Once you've fixed the problems you found on the first pass and have a second (or third) draft you're basically happy with, ask some other people to read it. Check with people whose judgment you trust : parents, teachers, and friends can all be great resources, but how helpful someone will be depends on the individual and how willing you are to take criticism from her.

Also, keep in mind that many people, even teachers, may not be familiar with what colleges look for in an essay. Your mom, for example, may have never written a personal statement, and even if she did, it was most likely decades ago. Give your readers a sense of what you'd like them to read for , or print out the questions I listed above and include them at the end of your essay.

Second Pass

After incorporating any helpful feedback you got from others, you should now have a nearly complete draft with a clear arc.

At this point you want to look for issues with word choice and sentence structure:

  • Are there parts that seem stilted or overly formal?
  • Do you have any vague or boring descriptors that could be replaced with something more interesting and specific?
  • Are there any obvious redundancies or repetitiveness?
  • Have you misused any words?
  • Are your sentences of varied length and structure?

A good way to check for weirdness in language is to read the essay out loud. If something sounds weird when you say it, it will almost certainly seem off when someone else reads it.

Example: Editing Eva's First Paragraph

In general, Eva feels like her first paragraph isn't as engaging as it could be and doesn't introduce the main point of the essay that well: although it sets up the narrative, it doesn't show off her personality that well. She decides to break it down sentence by sentence:

I dialed the phone number for the fourth time that week.

Problem: For a hook, this sentence is a little too expository. It doesn't add any real excitement or important information (other than that this call isn't the first, which can be incorporate elsewhere.

Solution: Cut this sentence and start with the line of dialogue.

"Hello? This is Eva Smith, and I'm a reporter with Tiny Town High's newspaper The Falcon. I was hoping to ask you some questions about—"

Problem: No major issues with this sentence. It's engaging and sets the scene effectively.

Solution: None needed, but Eva does tweak it slightly to include the fact that this call wasn't her first.

I heard the distinctive click of the person on the other end of the line hanging up, followed by dial tone.

Problem: This is a long-winded way of making a point that's not that important.

Solution: Replace it with a shorter, more evocative description: " Click. Bzzzzzzz. Whoever was on the other end of the line had hung up."

I was about ready to give up: I'd been trying to get the skinny on whether the Atlas Theater was actually closing to make way for a big AMC multiplex or if it was just a rumor for weeks, but no one would return my calls.

Problem: This sentence is kind of long. Some of the phrases ("about ready to give up," "get the skinny") are cliche.

Solution: Eva decides to try to stick more closely to her own perspective: "I'd heard rumors that Atlas Theater was going to be replaced with an AMC multiplex, and I was worried." She also puts a paragraph break before this sentence to emphasize that she's now moving on to the background info rather than describing her call.

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Step 7: Double Check Everything

Once you have a final draft, give yourself another week and then go through your essay again. Read it carefully to make sure nothing seems off and there are no obvious typos or errors. Confirm that you are at or under the word limit.

Then, go over the essay again, line by line , checking every word to make sure that it's correct. Double check common errors that spell check may not catch, like mixing up affect and effect or misplacing commas.

Finally, have two other readers check it as well . Oftentimes a fresh set of eyes will catch an issue you've glossed over simply because you've been looking at the essay for so long. Give your readers instructions to only look for typos and errors, since you don't want to be making any major content changes at this point in the process.

This level of thoroughness may seem like overkill, but it's worth taking the time to ensure that you don't have any errors. The last thing you want is for an admissions officer to be put off by a typo or error.

Example: Eva's Final Draft (Paragraphs 1 and 2)

"Hello? This is Eva Smith again. I'm a reporter with Tiny Town High's newspaper The Falcon , and I was hoping to ask you some questions about —" Click. Bzzzzzzz. Whoever was on the other end of the line had hung up.

I'd heard rumors that the historic Atlas Theater was going to be replaced with an AMC multiplex, and I was worried. I'd grown up with the Atlas: my dad taking me to see every Pixar movie on opening night and buying me Red Vines to keep me distracted during the sad parts. Unfortunately my personal history with the place didn't seem to carry much weight with anyone official, and my calls to both the theater and city hall had thus far gone unanswered.

Once you've finished the final check, you're done, and ready to submit! There's one last step, however.

Step 8: Do It All Again

Remember back in step one, when we talked about making a chart to keep track of all the different essays you need to write? Well, now you need to go back to that list and determine which essays you still need to write . Keep in mind your deadlines and don't forget that some schools may require more than one essay or ask for short paragraphs in addition to the main personal statement.

Reusing Essays

In some cases, you may be able to reuse the essay you've already written for other prompts. You can use the same essay for two prompts if:

Both of them are asking the same basic question (e.g. "how do you interact with people who are different from you?" or "what was an important experience and why?"), or

One prompt is relatively specific and the other is very general (e.g. "tell us about how your family shaped your education" and "tell us something about your background"), and

Neither asks about your interest in a specific school or program.

If you choose to reuse an essay you wrote for a different prompt, make sure that it addresses every part of question and that it fits the word limit. If you have to tweak a few things or cut out 50-odd words, it will probably still work. But if the essay would require major changes to fit the criteria, you're probably better off starting from scratch (even if you use the same basic topic).

Crafting Supplemental Essays

The key to keep in mind in when brainstorming for supplemental essays is that you want them to add something new to your application . You shouldn't write about the same topic you used for your personal statement, although it's okay to talk about something similar, as long as you adopt a clearly different angle.

For example, if you're planning to be pre-med in college and your main essay is about how volunteering at the hospital taught you not to judge people on their appearance, you might write your secondary essay on your intellectual interest in biology (which could touch on your volunteering). There's some overlap, but the two topics are clearly distinct.

And now, you're really, truly, finally done. Congrats!

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What's Next?

Now that you know how to write a college essay, we have a lot more specific resources for you to excel.

Are you working on the Common App essay ? Read our breakdown of the Common App prompts and our guide to picking the best prompt for you.

Or maybe you're interested in the University of California ? Check out our complete guide to the UC personal statements .

In case you haven't finished the rest of the application process , take a look at our guides to asking for recommendations , writing about extracurriculars , and researching colleges .

Finally, if you're planning to take the SAT or ACT one last time , try out some of our famous test prep guides, like "How to Get a Perfect Score on the SAT" and "15 Key ACT Test Day Tips."

Want to improve your SAT score by 160 points or your ACT score by 4 points?   We've written a guide for each test about the top 5 strategies you must be using to have a shot at improving your score. Download them for free now:

Alex is an experienced tutor and writer. Over the past five years, she has worked with almost a hundred students and written about pop culture for a wide range of publications. She graduated with honors from University of Chicago, receiving a BA in English and Anthropology, and then went on to earn an MA at NYU in Cultural Reporting and Criticism. In high school, she was a National Merit Scholar, took 12 AP tests and scored 99 percentile scores on the SAT and ACT.

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Parents, don’t write that college essay. (Here’s how to help instead.)

do parents write college essays

When Sue O’Connell’s daughter asked her to take a peek at the college admissions essay she’d written, the Chicago-area mom had no problem telling her to go back to the drawing board and start the whole process over. O’Connell wasn’t being cruel, nor was she the average mom biting her nails through the admissions process.

The former lawyer is a college admissions coach, someone other parents hire to walk their teens through the sometimes confounding process of getting into the school of their dreams.

What college admissions officers say they want in a candidate

Essay writing is just a part of that application puzzle, but it’s become an increasingly big one for college coaches such as O’Connell, a growing breed of professionals who get paid by parents to beseech their teenagers to dig just a little bit deeper to set themselves apart from their peers.

Just 500 to 700 words long, the admissions essay is make-it-or-break-it for your average high school senior. They have to be unique but poignant, smart but not smart-alecky. Kids have to sell themselves without sounding selfish or arrogant. Meanwhile hundreds of thousands of other kids are doing the same exact thing at the same exact time, all trying to stand out.

“Not every college or university has the chance to meet every applicant,” says Stephanie S. Espina, director of freshman admissions at Adelphi University in Garden City, N.Y. “The essay is an opportunity to get to know the student on a more personal level . . . a way for a student to convey their interests, passions, reflections or future goals.”

Want your child to get into college and have a good life? Here’s how.

But college isn’t just about kids’ goals anymore. Parents are involved, and in some ways that’s a good thing. A joint study by researchers from UCLA and the American Academy of Pediatrics that was published in the journal Pediatrics in 2015 shows a direct link between a parent’s expectation that a child will attend college and the child’s academic success in primary and secondary school.

But parental expectation is like the mythical hydra when it comes to college admissions. Where one head may be silenced with a glowing recommendation letter from a basketball coach or band director, another is already popping up to shout, “But what about that essay!?”

“Parents think there has to be a secret handshake to get into college,” says Jim Jump , academic dean and director of guidance at St. Christopher’s School in Richmond and a past president of the National Association for College Admission Counseling. He blames essay obsession on an obsession with prestige. Most kids may be able to get into their local community college, and if they have the grades and a decent set of extracurriculars, they’ll probably make the cut at a state school.

“Where the essay really counts is if you’re a bubble candidate, where your grades are just so-so, and at very highly selective schools,” Jump says.

Like counselors at other high schools throughout the country, Jump has seen a spike in the number of parents turning to paid coaches for that little extra help.

For parents who want to go even further, type “college essay” into Fiverr — an online marketplace to find freelancers to do just about anything for you — and dozens of responses pop up, offers ranging from ‘I will edit your college essay” to the more carefully worded “I will perfectly handle your college essay.” Other sites are less cagey, blatantly offering to sell you an admissions essay for less than $30.

“I think that is a terrible trend and a risky trend,” O’Connell says of buying your kid an entire essay. This may seem obvious, but there is clearly a market for it. “They’re going to write something completely generic. They’re not going to write what’s really in your heart.”

Not to mention the ethical issues that come with an essay that’s purchased outright. Paying for something and representing it as your child’s subverts the admissions process as a whole, giving kids an unfair advantage, says Carrie James, an ethicist with t he Good Project  at Harvard University. And of course there’s the message it sends to your child — that you can buy their way into college (and who knows what after) and that Mom and Dad will take care of the tough stuff in life.

“The longer-term ethical implications are important to consider as well,” James says. “What kinds of future workers and citizens are we nurturing through such practices?”

Most college coaches draw a very strict line between advising and “doing it for them.” Their job is to get kids to write the essay themselves, just a better version than they might have drafted alone.

“My counseling training has taught me to ask lots of open-ended questions,” says Ethan Sawyer, who counsels students on essay writing and goes by “ the College Essay Guy ” online. Instead of asking, “Did your parents’ divorce make you sad?,” for example, he’ll ask, “What was that like?”

“I also teach students basic screenwriting structure, as it’s a pretty efficient way of not only showing them how stories work but also getting them to think visually,” Sawyer says. “Personal statements are short films.”

Sawyer has gotten requests to write the essay outright, but he’s turned them down. Mostly, he sees kids who just need a little help, some prompting to get started or proofreading on the back end. Often those kids are in public schools where the counselors on staff just can’t keep up — not surprising when you consider the average public high school guidance counselor manages a caseload of 476 kids.

The fact that those public school counselors exist at all should give some direction to parents who are unsure whether it’s okay to give — or pay for — essay help. Some 30 percent of public schools employ at least one counselor whose exclusive responsibility is to provide college counseling.

Adelphi’s Espina says admissions officers do expect kids to get some help with their essay, usually from a guidance counselor, an English teacher or a parent, or even from the college.

“Many students lack the access to resources to fully grasp the process itself, including the importance of the college essay,” she says. “It’s quite common for [admissions] counselors or directors to provide free lectures-presentations on the college essay at local high schools or on their own college campuses.”

And if kids just seems out of their depths, O’Connell has this advice: “I tell kids if you’re really, really struggling, you’re not telling the right story.”

Sometimes they just need to be sent back to the drawing board.

Jeanne Sager is a writer and editor based in Callicoon Center, N.Y. Find her on Twitter @JeanneSager .

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do parents write college essays

I taught college for almost a decade, and I want parents to stop forcing their kids into college. There are other options.

  • Many of my college students told me they were in school because their parents forced them.
  • Parents should know that not every kid needs to go to college.
  • They can volunteer, take a gap year, go into trade work, or earn a certificate.

Insider Today

During my nine years of teaching college composition classes, I experienced a familiar student-teacher conversation on repeat. Students would confess to me — usually when we had a one-on-one about their plummeting grade — what was really going on. The overwhelming and overriding culprit of my students' college failures was their parents.

To be frank, many students were miserable. They had attempted to express to their parents that they didn't want to go to college, whether in the years leading up to high-school graduation or after starting college life . Their reasons were diverse. Students were unprepared, disinterested, or inadequately supported — be it financially, emotionally, academically, socially, or physically.

No matter the reason, I chose to listen to and believe my students, which is something their parents decided, for their own reasons, not to do.

Many didn't want to disappoint their parents. They were terrified of letting their parents know that money had been "wasted" or that they didn't fulfill their parents' own college dreams for their kids.

I wish I could have said to each of these parents that their child had other options.

Take a gap year

Yes, a gap year sounds incredibly privileged, but hear me out. Instead of parents hemorrhaging money or students going into debt for an education that won't end up in a degree and a job, a gap year could come with stipulations.

Those parameters could include the following: They must be employed part or full time , saving money, and working alongside a well-informed mentor to explore the next steps.

Nothing about a well-planned gap year is wasteful. Honestly, I rarely met a freshman who knew what they wanted to do for the rest of their lives. Parents, give your kid some time and wiggle room to mature and consider their future.

Consider a trade

When someone has a plumbing emergency in their home, they summon the first available plumber and (usually) pay whatever the repair cost is — no matter the sum. Desperate times call for desperate measures. That proves there's money in trade work .

The trades are a way for kids who prefer a more hands-on career to become something that brings in a great income — be it a welder, electrician, cosmetologist, dental assistant, or culinary artist.

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Plus, they can usually start working earlier than their college-attending peers and accumulate less debt .

Look into community college

So many students told me their parents turned their noses up at the idea of their child attending a community college , and my question is: Why?

I attended a community college and eventually became a college teacher. Community college is cheaper, sometimes more conveniently located, and offers a less abrupt and extreme step between high school and a university.

Community colleges also can offer more of a community feel than a large university, meaning perhaps more comfortable social engagements for kids who tend to be more introverted or struggle with social anxiety disorder .

Volunteer work is also a great option

Volunteering allows young adults to try different fields without the pressure of knowing how to do the job.

The kid interested in veterinary medicine can volunteer at an animal shelter. The kid interested in becoming a librarian can volunteer to gather books, stock shelves, or staff author events at a local library.

Volunteering can have a lot of value, including showing the applicant's spirit on a résumé or school application .

Earn a certificate

A certificate is earned by someone who puts in hours to get an overview or a deep dive into a particular topic or skill set. Certificate programs can take as little as a few weeks, while others can take closer to a year or more.

Students can earn certificates or engage in short programs to become nursing assistants, massage therapists , court reporters, or web designers.

Some programs have minimum age requirements. This again gives the late teen a way to learn more about a certain topic or field to determine how interested they are in pursuing that as a degree and then a career.

These aren't the only post- high-school-graduation or post-GED options. The important thing is for parents to listen to their kids, understand their needs, and take a team approach, especially at this stage in their almost grown-up child's life.

Watch: Student loans are canceled for former students of Corinthian Colleges

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StarTribune

Linda marie (lawrence) lamb.

Linda Marie (Lawrence) Lamb

Lamb, Linda Marie (nee Lawrence) 79, of Schroeder, MN, passed away peacefully on May 22, 2024, in Duluth, Mn. Born on September 17, 1944, to Thomas Donald and Dorothy Lawrence in North St. Paul, MN. She is preceded in death by her parents and one brother, Timothy Lawrence. Linda graduated from North St. Paul High School and then began attending St Lukes nursing school in Duluth. There she met her husband and chose to leave school to start a family. She moved with him to Schroeder to raise their three children and operate Lambs Resort, Marine Supply and Grocery store, and the Schroeder Baking Company. Linda then decided to further her education by earning her bachelor's degree in Dietetics from the College of St. Scholastica in Duluth, MN, and her master's degree as a Registered Dietitian from Tufts University in Boston, MA, where she graduated Cum Laude. Her dietetic career encompassed working as a Clinical Dietitian and Consultant as well as a Dietetics Educator. Her impactful and compassionate work included positions with North Shore Health, Grand Marais, Hibbing General Hospital, Chris Jenson Health and Rehab Center, Duluth, and with the Bois Fort Band of Chippewa of Nett Lake, MN, and the Grand Portage Band health programs. She was invited to teach for the last two years in the Dietary and Nutrition Science department at the College of Saint Scholastica, successfully graduating the final classes of Registered Dietitians. Additionally, she developed and was the first Executive Director of Cook County Higher Education Program. Linda was instrumental in founding the Cross River Heritage Center in Schroeder, with the help of others in the community. Linda and the board were successful in receiving a gift to remodel the Heritage building. Her dedication to the center included serving on the board, grant writing, archiving, and publishing the newsletter for twenty years. The center thrived with several story boards of events in the history of Schroeder and the area, coupled with special events. Linda loved cooking with her family, especially with her grandchildren. This was a great joy for her, sharing special recipes and time with the kids. Her lifetime dedication to God and the Zoar Lutheran Church in Tofte, MN were very important to the church and Linda. She was on the board, in the choir, and a member of the caring committee. Her love for cooking and background as a dietitian were essential in helping to develop a new kitchen. In retirement as an accomplished quilter Linda facilitated cultural exchanges between the Swedish and the Duluth/Northshore quilters. Linda leaves behind her beloved husband, H. A. "Skip" Lamb; children, Colleen E. Lamb, Charles T. (Jenny Carter) Lamb, and Timothy H. Lamb; grandchildren, Quinn, Ozzie, William, and Halle; a brother, as well as sister-in-laws, nieces, nephews and cousins. The family suggests donations be made in Linda's memory to the Cross River Heritage Center, Zoar Lutheran Church, or Birch Grove Elementary School. Linda's celebration of life will be on Saturday, July 13th. The services will be at Zoar Lutheran Church in Tofte, MN at 11:30AM, with lunch at the Schroeder Town Hall in Schroeder, MN at 1:00PM .

Published on June 2, 2024

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3 Things To Consider When Hiring A Top Ivy League College Consultant

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College consultant

Navigating the college admissions process can be overwhelming for both students and parents—particularly for those who aspire to attend Ivy League and other top schools. While well-meaning parents try their best to guide their students through the process, many are shocked to discover how much the admissions landscape has changed since they themselves applied. For instance, Harvard’s already minute acceptance rate dropped by more than half in just over two decades—while the Class of 2000 had an admissions rate of 10.9% , a meager 3.59% of students were admitted to the Class of 2028. Even schools outside of the Ivy League have seen similar plunges—NYU’s acceptance rate for the Class of 2002 was 34% , compared to 8% for the Class of 2028; Northwestern’s acceptance rate for the 2001 admissions cycle was 34.2% and plummeted to 7.5% in the 2023-24 cycle; and in 1999, Vanderbilt saw an admissions rate of over 61% , compared to today’s 5.1% . These declines are due in large part to dramatically swelling applicant pools. Regardless of the cause, these seismic shifts have left parents feeling incapable of helping their students navigate today’s cutthroat and complex college admissions landscape.

This is where private college admissions consultants come in. College consultants offer specialized knowledge and experience in the admissions process, particularly when it comes to applying to prestigious institutions. They can provide personalized guidance tailored to each student’s strengths, interests, and goals—and they are becoming increasingly popular. In 2022, a top private school in New York City, Horace Mann’s student newspaper reported that 33% of upper division students who answered their survey self-reported using a private consultant (a number that is likely higher than reported due to the stigma around college consultants.) Additionally, one in five surveyed incoming freshmen in Harvard’s Class of 2022 reported working with a private admissions consultant.

Despite their rising popularity, it is important for parents to recognize that not all college admissions consultants are created equal. A college admissions consultant is a significant investment in your child’s future, and as such, it is critical to find a consultant whose methods are ethical, results-proven, and aligned with your child’s needs and goals.

As you search for the right consultant to fit your needs, here are three core factors to take into consideration:

1. Credentials

College admissions consultants have an array of backgrounds and expertise, and it is important to think critically about how consultants’ experiences shape their ability to coach your student. While it may be tempting to assume that a consultancy that hires former admissions officers is implicitly capable of preparing your student for the rigors of the admissions process, this is not necessarily the case. The admissions landscape has changed dramatically over the last five years, meaning that a consultant who served on an admissions committee a decade ago will likely not possess special insights about what Ivy League and other top schools are looking for now .

Finally, The Internet Found ‘The Backrooms’

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Additionally, the Supreme Court case concerning affirmative action rendered more information about the admissions process publicly available than ever before. We now know how Harvard ranks applicants, what factors are most important in their admissions considerations, and how these factors have changed over time. While more information is now known about what Harvard looks for in its admissions process, a strong admissions consultant’s unique expertise lies in helping an applicant develop such qualities. If a consultancy promises insider information on the admissions process but fails to articulate specific strategies for helping your student boost their admissions profile, they are likely all bark and no bite.

2. Payment Structure

While hiring a college consultant is undoubtedly a financial investment, it should not be a financial surprise . Parents should seek a consultancy that is transparent about cost and that doesn’t nickel-and-dime clients for additional services. Consultants bill in a variety of ways—some are hourly, others charge by the number of schools to which a student wishes to apply, and others offer unlimited, flat-fee packages. Parents should go into consultations with a sense of their student’s needs and goals and pose detailed questions about the costs of additional or non-included services that may be required. Parents should be particularly wary of hourly packages, as the process of applying to college will likely take more time than parents initially assume, leading to unexpected additional fees and ballooning overall costs.

3. Methodology

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, college admissions consultants offer vastly different structures of support for students, and it is critical to understand their strengths and weaknesses before committing to a particular consultancy. A cookie-cutter approach doesn’t work in the competitive landscape of college admissions. Each student has unique strengths, interests, and aspirations, and a top-notch consultant will take the time to understand these individual qualities and craft a tailored strategy that highlights the student’s best attributes. This includes selecting a mix of courses, extracurricular activities, leadership roles, and summer programs that align with the student's goals. They also help students identify and develop their passions, which serves to differentiate students in the eyes of admissions committees.

While some consultancies pair students with one mentor, others take a more team-based approach, assigning multiple team members to work with each student on different aspects of their applications. The latter model can easily become confusing, and communication between students, parents, and members of the consultancy can quickly devolve. Those considering a consultancy that assigns more than one team member to a student should ask detailed questions about the lines of communication and how students will receive a cohesive and centralized plan for boosting their applicant profile. Finally, parents should seek out a consultancy that employs full-time consultants. Many firms hire part-time consultants with other impressive credentials or professional networks—however, these consultants are often stretched thin and struggle to provide the comprehensive support that students need to excel in the process. As a rule of thumb, parents should assume that the process will take more time, energy, and attention than they anticipate, and seek out a consultant who can accommodate their student’s busy schedule as much as possible

Choosing the right college consultant is a significant decision that can impact your student’s future. Take your time to research, ask questions, and evaluate your options carefully. The right consultant will not only help your student craft a strong application but also empower them to present their authentic self in the best possible light and provide them with the tools they will need to excel in college and beyond.

Christopher Rim

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Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor’s daughter, Ella, graduates from Juilliard with acting degree

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Ben Stiller and Christine Taylor’s daughter, Ella, is following in her parents’ footsteps.

The 22-year-old graduated from the Juilliard School in New York City on Friday with a bachelor’s degree in acting.

She honored her accomplishment with a celebratory Instagram slideshow the following day.

Christine Taylor, Ben Stiller and daughter Ella

“YOU WOULDN’T LAST AN HOUR IN THE ASYLUM (@juilliardschool) WHERE THEY RAISED ME (No, like, really),” Ella captioned the carousel, quoting Taylor Swift’s “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me.”

She continued, “Yesterday I got my BFA in Acting from Juilliard. I couldn’t be happier to be done or prouder to have survived or more grateful to my family for the unwavering support that got me there and through.

“I have a degree in playing pretend!!!” the graduate concluded. “Yay!!!”

Ben Stiller's daughter, Ella

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Her social media upload included multiple photos in her cap and gown as she clutched her diploma, posed with friends and walked with her dad.

Stiller, 58, and Taylor, 52, are also the parents of 18-year-old son Quinlin.

The couple have been married since 2000. Although the “Zoolander” co-stars separated in 2017 , they reconciled during the COVID-19 pandemic .

Ben Stiller's daughter, Ella

“We’re happy,” Stiller told Esquire in a February 2022 interview. “I think we have a respect for the ways that we’re similar and the ways we’re different.”

At the time, the actor also admitted to Ella calling him out over “not being there” during her and her brother’s childhood .

He explained, “What I’ve learned is that your kids are not keeping score on your career. … They just want a parent who’s emotionally present and supportive of them.”

Ben Stiller's kids

The comedian called his eldest child’s words “hard to hear” but “important to acknowledge.”

During his and Taylor’s time apart, the actress spoke to Us Weekly about Ella’s career goals since coming “out of the womb with a mission.”

The “Arrested Development” alum said, “She is a very strong-minded, strong-willed young lady, and she loves [acting]. She has the bug.”

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Christine Taylor, Ben Stiller and daughter Ella

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    Have a fresh pair of eyes give you some feedback. Don't allow someone else to rewrite your essay, but do take advantage of others' edits and opinions when they seem helpful. ( Bates College) Read your essay aloud to someone. Reading the essay out loud offers a chance to hear how your essay sounds outside your head.

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    The biggest mistake a student can make with their college essay (s) is to be cliché. Any phrases that sound "recycled" or overly familiar, like movie references, should be avoided. Other big "no-nos," according to UCLA, include manufacturing hardship and using humor that could be misinterpreted.

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    A Fun, Helpful Way to Support Them With Their Essay. Despite these questions, many parents will still try to help their teen with college essays. If you're going to help, try this challenge, which can make the process better for everyone. Here's how it works: Set a deadline with your teen of when both of you will write a college essay.

  8. 7 Ways Parents Can Help Improve Their Student's College Essay

    Focus on word count and grammar at the end of the process. You can be very helpful with grammar and word count when your child is in the final phases of writing, maybe a few weeks before a deadline. Until then, you shouldn't mention spelling, or syntax, or errors. You shouldn't ask your child to work within word count.

  9. Ultimate Guide to Writing Your College Essay

    Sample College Essay 2 with Feedback. This content is licensed by Khan Academy and is available for free at www.khanacademy.org. College essays are an important part of your college application and give you the chance to show colleges and universities your personality. This guide will give you tips on how to write an effective college essay.

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    1. Offer structure with regard to time management and planning. When it comes to writing expressively about their core qualities, high schoolers need lots of time (often weeks, not days) to brainstorm and reflect on who they are and what they value. Then, they need lots more time after that to word-vomit, clarify, revise, re-structure, and polish.

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    While parents mean well, any constructive feedback may be misinterpreted, creating conflict at what can already be a stressful time. Teachers, guidance counselors, even friends are viable candidates when looking for a second opinion on your writing. Laura O'Brien Gatzionis Founder Educational Advisory Services.

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    Use your essays to empower your chances of acceptance, merit money, and scholarships.". This college essay tip is by Dr. Rebecca Joseph, professor at California State University and founder of All College Application Essays, develops tools for making the college essay process faster and easier. 15. Get personal.

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    A strong application essay can boost a student's chances of being admitted to a college. In this guide, admissions experts offer advice on picking a college essay topic as well as navigating the ...

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    Mistake #3 - Most kids polish all of the personality out of their essays. Most students write their college essays by committee, seeking input and feedback from multiple teachers and parents, who - despite good intentions - will polish all of the life and personality out of the essay. Your teenager should sound like a teenager in his college essay.

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    Step 1: Get Organized. The first step in how to write a college essay is figuring out what you actually need to do. Although many schools are now on the Common App, some very popular colleges, including Rutgers and University of California, still have their own applications and writing requirements.

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    This little exercise preps you nicely for the moment when your child whines, "I have nothing to write about.". 3. Read great admissions essays. Many colleges post their admissions' staffs' favorite application essays online. Check out websites for Vanderbilt, Connecticut College and Johns Hopkins to get started.

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    This college essay tip is by Abigail McFee, Admissions Counselor for Tufts University and Tufts '17 graduate. 2. Write like a journalist. "Don't bury the lede!" The first few sentences must capture the reader's attention, provide a gist of the story, and give a sense of where the essay is heading.

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    Step 2: Pick one of the things you wrote down, flip your paper over, and write it at the top of your paper, like this: This is your thread, or a potential thread. Step 3: Underneath what you wrote down, name 5-6 values you could connect to this. These will serve as the beads of your essay.

  26. Linda Marie (Lawrence) Lamb Obituary

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